#EUSTACE WINNER IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

[kazuma-asougi69]

you guys are FAST

[softausterity]

we're so back (it's so over)

[codeerr0r]

I'm tired of pretending like I didn't think Bobby Fulbright was related to Eustace Winner or was older Eustace. They look so similar.

[quee-r-code]

Thank god i dont remember anything about aai the new names mightve sent me into an early grave

[howlidae]

rating the new ace attorney investigations 2 names that we know so far

Prosecutor's Gambit - Goes hard. More chess is better. 9/10 because Prosecutor's Path has good alliteration

Eustace Winner - Sebastian Eustace Debeste would make an excellent full name for him. Winner is one of the laziest last names I've ever seen. Eustace can be read as either Justice or Useless so I'll give them an extra point. 6/10

Verity Gavelle - Fucks. Better than Justine Courtney if I'm honest. 10/10

Eddie Fender - Funny albeit predictable. I like it as much as Raymond Shields. Eddie fits him very well. 8/10

Knight - What. Boring. Just Knight?? You're not even gonna try? 1/10.

Mr. Rook - Same as above, but, like, who cares? whatever/10

[iris-drawing-stuff]

Watching the Ace Attorney grieve over the fact that Sebastian Debeste's official canon name being Eustace Winner is so funny to me. Like,

Eustace.

fucking

Winner.

That's his actual fucking name! Damn his parents must have hated hi-

oh... oh no

[ultimateempath]

Rating AAI2 localization names, part 1!

part 2 HERE

Sebastian Debeste --> Eustace Winner

2/10, I hate it. I hate it so much. They named him 'Useless Whiner'. Why are they so damn mean to him??? Only isn't a 0/10 because admittedly he does look & act like a Eustace.

Justine Courtney --> Verity Gavélle

9/10, very pretty! Not as blatantly obvious as the fan-translation name, but still kinda on the nose with the whole gavel thing. Fits her well!

Ray Shields --> Eddie Fender

8/10. Very on the nose, but not in a bad way! I can accept it, it fits him.

Di-Jung Huang --> Di-Jung Wang

10/10! It's pretty much the same which is a plus, and I've gotta give them props for keeping the subtle 'the wrong one' wordplay! I'm completely happy with this.

Ethan Rooke --> Bastian Rook

7/10, not bad. A lot more on the nose, but it sounds kinda cool so it gets a pass from me.

Horace Knightly --> Bronco Knight

5/10. I...I've gotta give them props for still managing a horse joke, but oh my god. Fucking Bronco, really?? It matches his personality, but just...ugh.

Nicole Swift --> Tabby Lloyd

...y'know what, 7.5/10. It's violently on the nose, but I think it's funny so it gets a pass.

EDIT

Simon Keyes --> Simeon Saint

eh....solid 8/10. It doesn't roll off the tongue as well, but I get what they were going for and it does fit him. I'm just autistic and don't like it when a word doesn't sound/feel right, I'm not gonna dock points for that.

[aimeeisdead]

aai2 names more or less confirmed and i have Thoughts on them so. Here. Spoilers i think

eddie fender - i mean me personally i wouldnt name a supporting character a name u would expect from a background character who happens to be a defence attorney but its also like not that bad like. it looks like a name that could exist probably.

verity gavèlle - 10/10 gorgeos no further comments

eustace winner - that is a name he would be called.

simeon saint - i think this is peak (fully biased) just bc it isnt drastically different + ur supposed to think he's just Some Guy who didn't do anything wrong in that case.

di-jun wang - pretty much the same as fanmade one so. yeah. idk i dont have any thoughts on this guy in general

tabby lloyd - massive win actually i really like this. like that is a really cute name i think.

bronco knight - chat this is my eustace winner. im not fucking calling him that.

bastian rook - close enough welcome back sebastian.

rocco carcerato - major improvement i would say

fifi laguarde - she looks more like a fifi than a patricia to me at least. like maybe laguarde is too obvious however i dont care here.

bodhidharma kanis - the kanis/dog part is obvious however i would have no idea what the rest of it meant without having someone on twitter explain why its peak.

samson tangaroa - same as above like i would also not have any idea if there was a joke or reference here. however there is and i think it works really well.

judy bound - i think it grew on me a bit but at the same time i do not like it. maybe if it was a nickname like i can see her as a judith.

paul halique - literally just the same as it was originally no comment

artie frost - i mean. the foreshadowing is good. i think artie should've been a nickname instead tho tbh.

carmelo gusto - i think gustavia sounded better as a name but i think they're about the same to me. It ok

delicia scone - aai2 fan translation sole survivor. i mean ik why she's called that in both of them i just think its funny

florence niedler - they cooked a bit too hard on a minor character i think. this isnt a complaint i really like it

hilda hertz - she also looks like a hilda more than a bonnie i can respect this. also hertz is funny.

rosie ringer - it is one half of a joke + the better half i think

excelsius winner - that is also a name he would be called i think.

shaun fenn - fenn/marsh connection was more obvious to me actually. idm it tho he looks like a shaun.

alf aldown - close enough welcome back deid mann. that is a pun first and a name second i think.

[fizzysgayassposting]

Checking in on u as the designated aii2tual to ask how we are feeling about the Nintendo direct news

I AM THROWING UP AND SCREAMJNG AND LOSING MY MIND IM AO FUCKING EXCITED AND HAPPY AND JOYOUS . the new walking sprites r so so silly and im so happy that theres the option to change between the old sprites and the new ones .

The names however . The aai2 name change is Great becuase jts a chess Reference [prosecutors gambit I love you]. Verity Gavèlle as Justine is . Fine I guess . Eddie Fender for Raymond made me giggle . Sebbys new name I cannot get behind who the fuck is Eustace Winner its actually so bad .

THEY ALSO CHANGED KNIGHTLEYS NAME BUT WE WONT KNOW HIS FIRST NAME UNTIL THE GAME RELEASES . his second name being just . Knight. Is kinda funny though but he’ll forever be Knightley jn my heart [and in my fics]. Scared for Simon’s name change but once again I will just close my eyes and pretend its the same as in the fan translation .

Im also very excited for the different languages, the music gallery and the art gallery !!! I hope they have knightleys ass in there

Overall im joyous and I cant wait to play turnabout target for a fourth time

[aquilamage]

For the character bingo: Eustace winner...

my son my baby boy. what a little goober. he did things wrong but they were funny and also a huge part of his character arc so it's good. thinking about his situation makes me sad and no one is allowed to hurt him. except when I want to put him in Situations

I think I'm slowly starting to accept the name. it's not like it's a terrible choice but I'm still sooo attached to the fantranslation one too. also I'm not fucking re-tagging my five billion old posts and haven't decided what I wanna do in the future

[kuriboo]

hey have you seen the Nintendo direct today & if so how ya feelin

I saw some tweets earlier so I knew a bit of what I was getting into but I just watched it and HOLY FUCK MAN.................

under the cut i'll scream about everything i'm excited about! but this is one of the best directs of all time! this is SUPER long sorry but please know i am SO HAPPY this is one of hte best directs of all time i think

I WAS SO WORRIED MARIO AND LUIGI AS A SERIES WAS DEAD ;; I'M SO HAPPY IT'S COMING BACK!!! IT LOOKS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ART STYLE, THE GAMEPLAY! IT'S MARIO AND LUIGI!!!! I'm SO EXCITED!!! I'm behind on this series I still need to play dream team (I should probably start it over at this point, I have this digitally it came on my original 3ds and I've transferred it between systems twice now) and paper jam (I OWN THIS SOMEWHERE but my stuff is in disarray from room renovations...I'll find it some day) but I'M SO EXCITED! FOR BROTHERHOOD!

I'm more excited for the Dragon Quest remakes than I thought I'd be! I saw they were being remade and I was like okay yeah sure...this already was released on switch my brother already owns these...but this remake actually looks way better than the previous release on switch! I'm into this! I'm down for this!! It looks a lot better! I beat dq1 a while back, I need to restart dq2 because I haven't played it in so long... and I was just told I should've started with dq3, which I haven't played, LMAO so

Super Mario Party Jamboree...a third Mario Party on Switch! I'm excited for the return of Western Land, I'm excited for another Mario Party, I love Mario Party it's a longtime family favorite (though we barely played any between 3 and super, we have super and superstar on switch though) so anytime there's new Mario Party content I'm happy! I think I would've preferred an update/dlc of superstars, but...I can see why it's not! I'd like to play this online with family! I'm just a little scared at the possibility of not being able to play with pro controllers again...joy con exclusive gameplay is scary

ECHOES OF WISDOM! FEMINISM WINS! I saw screenshots of this on twitter but oh the trailer has me so hyped.... ZELDA SAVING LINK LETS GO........ I LOVE ZELDA'S OUTFIT AND HER FAIRY COMPANION AND MAGIC LOOK SO COOL! This is gonna be so fun to play. And I'll probably be a lot less anxious playing this than botw/totk since there shouldn't be weapon durability? so this might end up being my favorite switch zelda pretty easily lol. I'VE WANTED PLAYABLE ZELDA FOR SO LONG I LOVE THIS

Hello Kitty game I might pick up depending on the price.... it looks cute!

The Looney Tunes game looks so funny I kinda wanna play it SPACE JAM!!!!!!!!!

I'm probably not gonna get Luigi's Mansion 2 HD anytime soon but I LOVE LUIGI HE'S MY GUY HE'S THE DREAMBOAT THE GOAT THE DREAMGOAT.... I've never played any Luigi's Mansions though! I think I have 2 on 3ds but again, I'm not sure where it is.... Idr if we have 3 or not? We might? I'd like to play a Luigi's Mansion game someday but it's not my biiiiiggest priority. As much as I love Luigi, I love him so so so so much, but without ever having played it, I have this nervousness that I might not like the Mansion series...

I WISH I HAD EXPANSION PACK I WANNA PLAY FOUR SWORDS SO BAD

I have been screaming about the ace attorney investigations collection ALL DAY dude. This games have SUCH a good story (I've only watched playthroughs) so I'm excited to play them myself!!! The fantranslation has definitely impacted a bit of my excitement though. The name changes in particular... Verity Galile is honestly a good name, Eustace Winner is growing on me (I'm worried what they're changing Blaise to...), but Eddie Fender............I'm sorry but that is RAYMOND SHIELDS i DO NOT like the name eddie fender i CANNOT get behind it sorry.... BUT THE STORY OF THESE GAMES MAN I'M SO EXCITED!!! I JUST GOT THE APOLLO JUSTICE TRILOGY FOR MY BIRTHDAY (a couple of months late, but, uh, extenuating circumstances led to my dad keeping forgetting to order it, i am not mad) so i wanna play that before AAI and I STILL NEED TO PLAY THE GREAT ACE ATTORNEY COLLECTION TOO..... BUT MAN I LOVE ACE ATTORNEY I'M SO EXCITED I WANTED TO CRY

metroid prime 4! i still need to get into the metroid series (i need to give it another try, i haven't been able to get myself to really enjoy it yet) but i'm excited for metroid fans! this is such a long time coming...and now it's so close! the graphics look really good! i don't have much else to say about this one.

AND MAN

OH

MAN

THE UNEXPECTED GOAT

I DIDN'T SEE THIS GAME BEFORE WATCHING THE DIRECT BECAUSE NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT

BUT OH MY GOSH

PHANTOM BRAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PHANTOM BRAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEW PHANTOM BRAVE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love phantom brave SO SO SO SO MUCH i wanna CRY i'm SO SO SO HAPPY!!!!! ASH AND MARONA ARE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT WE MIGHT GET ANOTHER PHANTOM BRAVE! IT WASN'T EVEN A HOPE BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T THINK IT COULD EVER HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!

PHANTOM BRAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

idk about the mech part that's gonna have to grow on me but YOU CAN FUSE CHARACTERS WITH MARONA AND GIVE HER CUTE NEW OUTFITS???????????????????????????

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PHANTOM BRAVE PHANTOM BRAVE

when this came up in the direct i literally could not stop stimming and shaking i SCREAMED i am SO SO HAPPY

i think i'm more excited for htis game than anyone else because literally no one that i've seen is talking about it but!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PHANTOM BRAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lucksea]

i actually like eddie fender. to be quite honest. its stupid but in a funny way. but eustace winner is just so batshit to me. that is not his fucking name

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: November 2020

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of November 2020 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Nobody was expecting Donald Trump to concede defeat gracefully, but bloody hell, between the completely batshit insane conspiracy theory bollocks from himself and the rancid Trump offspring to Rudy Giuliani making complete fools of themselves even before he had to give a press conference from the parking lot of a landscaping firm as nobody checked which Four Seasons it was, before threatening to outlaw Twitter because people made fun of his little table (yes, that sentence does make sense), nobody could have expected just how tempramental toddlers are now thinking it's a bit much

...although somehow the Tory government managed to have an even worse response, because not only did posting a boilerplate jpeg to congratulate Joe Biden for his victory the laziest response possible, but then it turned out that they only had a celebratory jpeg for a Trump victory and hastily edited it on Paint so that Biden’s name was on there, but did a cack-handed job of it even though a.) Common sense dictates you have one for each candidate ready in advance, and b.) Given they had several days to accept which way the wind was blowing, the fact they did the most cack-handed job says everything you need to know 

Smirking cretin Priti Patel has bullied Home Office staff and, having initially tried to bury the report, the best the Tory government could come up with to try and make this go away was claim that she was bullying her subordinates by accident while proven liar Boris Johnson claimed she had done nothing wrong, numerous members of the Tory government either said that as they hadn’t seen her bullying anyone she must be innocent or tried claiming she was “accused” of bullying instead of found guilty of bullying, and to top it all off we had Michael Gove’s wife Sarah Vine accused anyone calling Patel of being a bully racist while Alison Pearson said Patel can’t be a bully as she isn’t tall enough. Also, did I mention this came out during national Bullying Week?

...and just a thought for Jess Phillips after she decided to weigh in, considering it’s on record that you bullied Diane Abbott (and have gleefully said how you told her to “Fuck off” on various occasions) it's not a good idea for you to try and act as you’re above bullying as you will get called out for your hypocrisy

Murderer Amanda Knox thought it would be a really funny joke to suggest that, no matter what the election result, the next four years couldn’t be as bad as the four years she spent studying abroad.  You know, those four years where she murdered Meredith Kercher and got away with it

So it turns out that the moral compass of the Tory government says that it is fine for Dominic Cummings to be happy to sacrifice the elderly if it protects the economy during a pandemic while displaying that he doesn’t know how herd immunity works, purging 21 MPs from the party for not buying into his No Deal Britait Jonestown, siphoning hundreds of millions of pounds into the pockets of his mates in various dodgy contracts, or flagrantly violating the lockdown rules by driving several hundred miles to Durham (where he owns a house he doesn't pay council tax for) after testing positive for Covid - but as soon as he calls Carrie Symonds “Princess Nut Nuts” he’s out the door...for a staged photo op, even though he is remaining in his job until December, which is when he was going to leave anyway

...and we should mention Laura Kuenssberg bullishly stating that Cummings was going nowhere in the wake of Lee Cain being told he could leave when his contract is up in December but they want to make it look like he is being fired, but within twelve hours saying that Cummings would always be leaving in December as a blog post in January stated, which not only asks if anyone has checked the archived version of that blog in case any edits were made in mid-November, but also how she can justify her £290k a year salary if she can get a story that badly wrong that Cummings’ blog disagreed with her

There’s a reason why Lindsey Graham isn't popular in the Senate and it isn’t because he questions if Biden won the election, it's because he’s telling people to “misplace” the votes for Biden which they are counting so that Trump could claim that he won Georgia instead of losing Georgia, demanding a recount, then losing Georgia

Once again proven liar Boris Johnson demonstrated that lockdown rules apply to the little people but not to him or his inner circle, as he met with fellow Tory MP Lee Anderson in person rather than via Zoom as the lockdown rules state, didn't wear a mask as lockdown rules state, and clearly didn’t social distance as a picture of him with Anderson taken during the meetings shows they are not two metres apart as lockdown rules state, which means that he had to spend two weeks self-isolating as a direct result 

Has anyone told Keir Starmer that The Board of Deputies weren’t on the ballot for Labour leadership?  Because by his performative act of refusing to restore the party whip to Jeremy Corbyn after his performative suspension, which he did after the BoD stamped their feet and demanded the whip not be restored, he’s not doing a good job of demonstrating leadership

First of all it was news that Steve Bannon uses Twitter, as surely he should have flounced off for Parler years ago.  But secondly, the real news is how he used his Twitter account to call for Anthony Fauci to be beheaded - at which point he suddenly couldn’t use his Twitter account anymore

According to Iain Duncan Smith putting the UK into a second lockdown is “giving in to the scientific advisors” as if during a pandemic, which the last time I checked was a scientific matter, you should instead be listening to Julia Halfwit-Brewer, Dan Wootton, Alison Pearson or Isabel Oakeshott rather than people qualified to talk about what to do in the face of a global pandemic 

Nice Guy Rishi Sunak proposed a return of Eat Out To Help Out for Christmas.  You know, the thing which has been directly linked with causing a spike in Covid numbers in August?

Tory arrogance was neatly summed up by George Eustace casually saying that, if Lurpak didn’t want to incur the massive price hikes of Britain crashing out of the EU without a paddle, all they have to do is move their entire base of operations to the UK

The fact that Disney have been trying to justify their refusal to even issue royalty statements to Alan Dean Foster for his novelisations of the Star Wars and Alien franchises and have simply been pocketing the revenue made by the books continued sales by claiming they only purchased the license and not the liability, which is a particularly unique interpretation of copyright law

It was only a matter of time before The Daily Mail started trying to create dirt about Marcus Rashford because he has the sheer gall to say that feeding children is not a bad thing, which they did by reporting the horrors of him...buying a house for his mother

Twitter troll Ben Bradley had a stellar month, first by standing up in Commons and asking why there isn't a Minister for Women while also showing a terrifying inability to understand what equality is, and soon followed that up by quoting Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech by claiming that it was about equality - only for Bernice King to tell him that, no, her father’s speech was about eliminating racism from our society

I think that it's time for The Daily Express to admit that, when they're running articles saying that it’s Remainers who are to blame for Trump getting dumped onto the street, that maybe they have a problem

The Streisand Effect still hasn’t reached WWE judging by their continuing to double down on demanding their employees independent contractors stop earning money via third-party platforms manifested in their releasing Thea Trinidad from her contract in spite her Twitch account always being under her real name and not her WWE moniker of Zelina Vega

It was a coincidence that the Jewish Labour Movement decided to hold their annual conference on the Palestinian Day of Solidarity.  Of course it was...

This month it was Fin Taylor who demonstrated just how far from satire HIGNFY has strayed with his “Bomb Glastonbury and kill all Jeremy Corbyn supporters” joke in response to Joan Bakewell lying about Corbyn breaking the law - and, afterwards, Taylor was generally being a smug twat about it on his Twitter - which also serves to show how Tim Davie is fine with booking comedians whose acts have plenty of questionable content contained within it if it guarantees the Tories escape criticism

This month’s example of Steve Baker making himself a walking punchline with no self-awareness came from him howling that further lockdown measures would be a violation of terms set out by the European Convention on Human Rights - yes, the exact same convention that Baker has a.) Repeatedly accused of meddling with British affairs and is an example of the EU nanny state, and b.) Frowns upon things such as Steve Baker repeatedly voting against allowing child refugees to be reunited with their families

Nothing says “worker happiness” quite like GameStop running a competition for their stores to post Tik Tok dances where the store which is voted the winner receives prizes such as an Amazon Echo, a Visa gift card, and the privilege of working an additional ten hours during the week of Black Friday.  Wait, did I say “worker happiness”?  I meant to say “Dickensian shithousery” where employees are expected to compete so they can work more hours

Of course the “We’re not racist”s of Twitter had an issue with Sainsburys Christmas ad because it didn’t appeal to white men due to having a black family, in much the same way that Compare the Market’s ads don't appeal to white men as they’re not Russian meerkats

Professional victim Laurence Fox thought it would be a good idea to get into a slanging match with The Pogues while lying that Fairytale of New York would be banned from the airwaves.  It went about as well as could be expected

It wouldn’t be Remembrance Day without The Sun or The Daily Mail exploiting it for some obvious ragebait, and this year was no exception with both “papers” posting a photo of Extinction Rebellion posting with a banner in front of the Cenotaph protesting climate change - a photo taken two days earlier, but they held off on posting it until the day itself to get the rage flowing, because they needed something as neither Jeremy Corbyn nor Meghan Markle were within a mile of Whitehall

This month it was Ernest Cline who demonstrated a lack of understanding of the Streisand Effect by ordering DMCA takedowns on anyone who posted an excerpt of Ready Player Two online, which mainly served to help the internet realise which the actual excerpts were and which the parody versions were - because it was pretty hard to tell them apart otherwise...

“I’ve been silenced”, shrieked Suzanne Moore in an interview with the Telegraph, fatally undermining her argument in the process.  Funny how the people who have been “silenced” keep doing that, isn’t it?

Because we haven’t heard anything idiotic from Jake Paul in a while, Jake Paul decided to say Covid isn’t real and flu has killed just as many people.  So I give it a week before his older brother Logan feels he has to one-up this and say the Holocaust was fake...

And finally, not for much longer, is Donald Trump and his complicity in trying to organise a coup - but not a very good coup, as his minions at Fox News had to exaggerate how many people were actually protesting about him losing an election and crying about it - which was further undermined by his inability to tell Michigan and Minnesota apart