#ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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daftpatience · 3 days ago
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remembering a time someone misread a social situation and behaved like you were the one misreading it really makes it harder to jack off
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officialspec · 3 days ago
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committing myself to doing more studies this year………..practiced clothes today
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soapyakships · 3 days ago
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they are going to watch SONIC 3
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dear-ao3 · 3 days ago
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friends, besties, worsties, davids, and meow meows of the jury. i have a tale for you. while i claim to be no bard (like saph, the queen of very long dramatic tumblr stories that make your heart weep), i must spin a wee bit of yarn in the form of a story. what story? a story of the green cake.
we shall, as most stories do, start almost at the beginning.
the date? january 2nd.
the time? late.
the occasion? saph comes home the third.
the problem? i have no butter or sugar.
now, saph's birthday was recently, so like any other best bud i said i was making a cake. i believe my exact words were 'i'm making you a cake whether you like it or not."
now, gang, i must level with you. this is the fourth cake i've made in my life. i am a reasonably good baker (i can bake a Mean Loaf of Bread), but i'm not a very experienced baker. 3/4 cakes were reasonably good, and only one was just slightly off. so, my track record is mixed, but i am hopeful.
now, let me take you to the present.
i am sitting at my dining room table, typing this post. i am wearing a shirt covered in flour, the green cake is in the oven.
how did i get here?
well, we won't go to the beginning. we've already seen what was basically the beginning, with me having no butter or sugar. the real story begins the morning of january 3rd. which is today. which is when saph comes home, expecting a green cake. as most reasonably well adjusted people do when their roommates parents are visiting, i stressed cleaned the entire apartment at 4am, after realizing the mice in my walls are fucking. i did not leave them a condom. i did not have one that would fit them. i can only hope they have plan b. so naturally, i went to bed at 6am.
and i still had no sugar or butter for the green cake for saph.
and i needed to get started on this cake before 10am, or saph would be here before it was finished.
and i went to bed at 6am. so naturally i set my 9:00, 9:02, 9:04, 9:06 alarms, and hoped i'd lock in when i woke up.
friends, i hate to admit it, but i did not lock in. nay, i slept through all of my alarms and woke up at roughly 9:45. it was cold, damp, and the mice were still probably fucking. i threw my hair into a messy bun, and ran downstairs, only to find my mom was selling me to one direction.
jk. it was far worse.
because saph said she had sent me something.
what did saph send me?
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a full poster of david malukas! do i know why? no! but he lives in my kitchen now, providing me with mental support. thanks david!
so, i begin to make the cake after laughing for about 10 minutes about why david is now in my apartment. it starts off surprisingly well. i have not forgotten the salt.
everything is normal.
until i remember.
the cake needs to be green.
why? idk thats what saph said she wanted so i am just going to do what i was told to do and make this damn cake green.
but its now late in the process, and if there is one thing i have learned in all my years of watching the great british baking show with my mom, it is to never over beat your cake.
and my cake, right now, was perfect. trust me. i ate plenty of dough to know it was wonderful.
so now i am trying to figure out how to make the most perfect shade of nico rosberg green, feeling a bit like an alchemist. david malukas is staring me down. my time grows shorter and shorter with each beat.
and then, gang, i had to give up on this being nico rosberg green. i did not want to kill my cake. my green cake. my now mint-green cake that i am baking for saph. so naturally i'm like, okay, time to pour this.
easy, right?
WRONG.
so one thing to know about me is i suck at cutting things.
it's unfortunately a key ingredient in cake making that you have a stupid little circle on the bottom of your cake tins. i cut it the best i could. which was bad. so i'm already fighting demons trying to get the stupid parchment paper from sliding every which way, and then, my friends, i realized something horrible.
the batter had not mixed at the bottom. so now i was fighting even more demons and trying not to get loose flour in my cake.
i think i succeeded. only time will tell. david is watching. the cake is almost done.
i am setting the green cake free.
look upon him now, and weep. the green cake prevails! even though he doesn't look very green yet.
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and now, for the hardest part. frosting.
let's see how that goes.
david still watches.
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mischievous-thunder · 2 days ago
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Wade's freaky kitty is flourishing
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zorangezest · 2 days ago
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Oh you KNOW swapped!Soundwave lets his kids get away with ANYTHINGGG nobody's safe 🙏
oh yes he does
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llisi · 2 days ago
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Love & deepspace NSFW twt links
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NSFW TWITTER/X LINKS UNDER!! MINORS GO AWAY
Sylus
- You wouldn’t stop wondering around the N109 Zone so he simply puts a leash around your neck
- Sylus knows how much you love to see his sweaty body right after he hits the gym
- Sometimes you two would roleplay. You would be a maid that does a awful cleaning job and Sylus would have to punish the you for not doing your job correctly
Rafayel
- He was so nervous the first time you two slept together, he couldn’t even put on the condom before coming on your stomach
- Rafayel hates it when you play video games when he’s around, he gets jealous when your attention isn’t on him 24/7
- Rafayel needs so cum inside your pussy or he would die. He loves seeing it drip down onto the bed sheets and pumping another load into you
Zayne
- He offered to help you study but he suggested something new. Every time you get a answer correct he would finger you
- One of Zayne’s guilty pleasures is when you go under his desk and suck him off while he’s working. He swears it makes him more focused on his work
- Zayne cant say no to you even if that means not being able to touch or see you while you tie him up and have your way with him
Xavier
- Whenever you are on a solo mission he would go into your apartment and he sends you videos of him humping your pillow. He misses you so much when you’re away
- Xavier thought you were bring too friendly to your new neighbor so he made a video to send it him to show that you’re clearly taken
- You two were assigned a mission together but of course he begs and pleads for a quickie before you two leave
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microwavingfranky · 10 hours ago
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Where this goes, part 1.
Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (end)
Hrrrrmmmmm okkaaaay soooooo
this is a sketch comic i drew last year (November 2023) shortly after finishing Ennie's Lobby and starting a new full time job. I didn't really write a script for it and i finished it in 2 weeks... this is completely unedited and just how i made it a year ago (lol rip good luck)
when i tell you i have never responded to anything more passionately in my life that is the truth... idk i fell into a coma or something, it was crazy
there are some things about this that I think are quite nice, which is why I'm sharing it!!! But also please note that it also deserves a good helping of "HE WOULD NOT F***ING SAY THAT" and i understand that 😂 i hope you are able to enjoy it anyway, i said what i said
I'll go through and link all the parts appropriately and work on the alt text once they're uploaded, please be nice to me :0 Read from right to left!
UPDATE: Alt text has been added! Sorry for the bad handwriting. Also added some description for the silent parts for potential text/audio only folks
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notdysfunk · 15 hours ago
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Doodled some very happy boys!! Might colour it later... 🔆🌙
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im-resident · 2 days ago
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"The priest's favorite sacrificial lamb" - rollercoasterwords
Misa Amane Render
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sentientstump · 3 days ago
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its me and my canadians again
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sergioguymanproust · 18 hours ago
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We are told umpteen times when you are ready to die go to the light,don’t waste your last breath on meandering in and around your house seek the light. Well,then we are also told ,don’t worry your relatives, you know your family and friends will be awaiting your arrival ,this in any order according to your culture.Some people believe this is utter nonsense,they do believe you die and that’s all folks! Haaa! Well,each tribe has its own religion although I don’t particularly like this word , because in our lives it is so bloody and confusing,one day they love you ,the next day they kill you and call you an heretic ,while they are the worse cheating and lying in the name of a god. Haaa! I say a god because each tribe ,clan ,in this world still has not just one god but many ,and some none ,respect them all. You must remember that when you decided to sign your contract to come down and be human ,no religion was assigned to you ,you were just a soul without a brand or anything labeling a particular race or belief ,your parents took care of that!Well ,that’s a story for another day.So,recently as we approach the end of another chapter on this planet ,Remember to be clear at the end of your journey,nobody’s perfect ,so stop torturing yourself and just head for the light.What’s at the end of ocean, tunnel,void,or whatever is your wish , well, at the end where the light is shining your new life is awaiting you!And that’s all I can tell you folks .I believe angels ,but then I could be wrong.Words by Sergio GuymanProust.
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jpd1944 · 5 months ago
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erm....what the scallop! o_O!
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i remember seeing a bunch of mlp characters in socks when i was younger so now i have decided to continue the tradition by doing that but with country bear jamboree :) im feeling a little too silly today
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kirukrono · 4 months ago
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[Fig. 01 Mikuchondria]
The powerhouse of YOUR cell
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angelofdumpsterfires · 4 months ago
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presented without comment
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