#EITHERWAY

[f0rgetf0rgetting]

old man yuri

[milksetters]

Omori stuffs

[soundcrusher]

Old and new crews

Part eight everbody!

Frankly, I never thought I would manage to get this out today. There were too many ideas running wild in my mind but with the help of @cuppajj , I was able to continue Phoenix's story on board of the sentient SG/Lost Light.

So, pleace enjoy.

Trigger warning: Manipulation

..-.-.-...-.-.-...-.-.-...-.-.-...-.-.-...-.-.-..

Lightlost couldn’t find Phoenix. This was the first time they didn’t know where their little bird was, and it made them nervous. What if he left them? What if he fell down something and hurt himself? What if someone boarded them and took their little bird with them?! Lighhtlost knew that they shouldn’t have spent so much time with their new passenger. They knew that they should have paid more attention to Phoenix, they knew! But they also had to make sure that their new ‘guest’ couldn’t get out of his prison and then there was the incident with those two mechs who boarded them just to steal things. And then they had to quickly replace Rodimus’ failing organs again. 

Sometimes, being the Lost Light wasn’t easy. What were they thinking, it was hard work every day. 

While Lightlost frantically searched the ship, Phoenix was idly fiddling with parts of an unfinished model ship he found together with a funny looking bot. He didn’t know mechs could wear glasses, but he liked how he looked. So, after storing the parts of the ship in his sub-space, Phoenix dragged the corpse into Swerve’s. Sitting him down in a booth next to a weird helicopter mech he found the other day.

Although, maybe he should place mister glasses somewhere else. Helicopter doesn’t feel all too happy with having the smaller mech near him. Also, it kind of ruined the mood in the bar. 

“Don’t look like that, I’m gonna change his place once I am done with the ship…” Muttered Phoenix, before dropping his tweezers and groaning. How can making a mini-ship be this difficult! It’s frustrating, really. He had the calmest servos of his whole crew, but now he can’t even build a ship right. 

His crew…

How long has Phoenix not seen his crew? Well, he’s seen Runningway, but the youngling didn’t really want to think of that day. Especially not when it causes him to remember the fact that he had killed someone he once called a friend, even if Runningway himself didn’t see him as such.

“Little bird!” Phoenix looked up and over to the entrance of Swerve’s, before waving. “I’m here Lightlost! You won’t believe what I found!” Said the youngling and was quick to get up and rush over to the other mech. Giving them one big squeeze, before pulling Lightlost over to his table. Showing them the half finished model of the Lost Light. “I found it with mister glasses over there and decided to finish it myself. Although… I’m not that good. I guess I’m better at being a baker than someone who fixes things.” Chuckled the young spark while sitting back down, continuing fiddling with his ship.

After seeing that everything was alright with their little bird, Lightlost let out a long sight that resonated throughout the whole ship, before sitting down. Resting their helm in their servos while trying to figure out how exactly they could overlook him being here. Maybe they really were paying too much attention to their side project. “Little bird, have you been here the whole time?”

“Not the whole time. Before coming here, I was cleaning Rodimus and then I went to sweep the  halls. And then I discovered a new room and found mister glasses there. And I couldn’t let him stay there. It was lonely, so I dragged him here. Although, it doesn’t seem like the helicopter is happy.” Said Phoenix without looking up from his ship. 

“Ah, yes. Whirl never truly liked Rung. I believe it had to do something with his profession. Which is a shame, really. Whirl could have used a friend.” Lightlost, after raising their helm and making themselves comfortable, started to watch Phoenix fiddle with the model ship of themselve. Rung was always good at making models of things. It’s sad that he couldn’t finish this one before his death. 

“They probably didn’t like him, because they didn’t like how he looked…” Muttered Phoenix, which caught Lightlost’s interest. Not because they haven’t heard the youngling mention how his crew disliked him for his resemblance to Rodimus before. No, it was the way he said it, that caught their interest. Never had they heard so much… hurt in Phoenix’s voice. Something that was usually not there. “How was your crew?” They asked, only to be taken aback as the youngling slammed his tweezers down on the table, before burying his face in his servos. Dragging them down, while letting out a mix between a groan and a sigh.

“Where do I start?” Asked Phoenix. “While I like my crew, I do, I mean… I have to like them, don’t I? Either way, while I like them, I never truly felt like I belonged with them. Usually, when I wanted to talk to anyone, I had to wear my visor or make sure that my back was facing them, so that they wouldn’t have to look at me. The only ones who truly ever talked to me were the captain and Old Man. Although, even the captain couldn’t look me in the face for a long time.” Phoenix shook his helm, before continuing. “And then there were the whispers and side glances. ‘He has to be him! I just know it’, ‘The Prime came back to haunt us’, ‘Why did they let him go with us? I don’t want to be on the same ship as him’ and the worst was ‘I wish someone would just throw him overboard. That would solve the problem.’ They… One mech once tried to throw me overboard. He nearly succeeded, but Old Man managed to get in between…. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here sitting….” With each word, Phoenix grew more and more quiet, until his voice was only a whisper. “I never felt like I belonged and… and… But I was a Decepticon. I was one of them. I did everything they asked of me! I did everything they wanted! I cleaned their weapons, I cleaned their ship, I once nearly fell down the ship as I was cleaning the outside. I EVEN PLAYED BAIT FOR WHEN THEY WERE HUNTING AND FIGHTING AUTOBOTS WHO WERE AGAINST THE PEACE!” He screamed. “So why? Why didn’t they like me? Why did I have to be the only one who felt unwelcomed and left out, when they even liked Autobots who were their foes before? Why did I never get a nice word from anyone in my crew? I was part of the crew, wasn’t I? Wasn’t I!?”

Phoenix couldn’t help the tears from coming or stop them from streaming down his face. Why did no-one seem to care about him? Was he truly as cursed as everyone was saying? Was he truly so much like Rodimus Prime? Was he destined to become a monster, like everyone in his crew said? He didn’t want to be a monster. No, all Phoenix ever wanted was to belong. That’s why he wanted to be a medic. Medic’s were loved by everyone. Everyone held medics in high regards. So, if he was a medic, others would finally see past his looks and accept him as he is, right? Right? RIGHT? If he was useful, others would finally like him. And then he could have friends like every other youngling in his class had. Maybe they would even stop calling him cursed. 

The poor youngling was so deeply trapped in his own thoughts, that he didn’t even feel the servos of Lightlost softly cupping his face. Rubbing their thumbs over his cheeks to wipe away the tears, before pulling him into an embrace.

“Shhhhhh, little bird. Little bird, look at me. Please, look at me.” Cooed Lightlost quietly, so as to not upset their little bird any further. And it seemed to help, because Phoenix was looking up at them. They had his attention, that was good. “Do you know why they said all those hurtful things? Why they never seem to care about you? Because, since your birth, they have only seen you as something they had to get rid of. Those Decepticons you called your crew, they were too wrapped up in their own minds that they couldn’t see how amazing you are. And the things they made you do, playing bait to fight Autobots, that wasn’t right Phoenix. No-one should be used like that, because, if they use you like a cheap distraction, they will treat you as nothing more than an item. And sadly, I think that’s what you have become. An item only useful to distract the enemies.” Lightlost observed as Phoenix eyes slowly widened in quiet realization before they filled with new tears. Seems like their words have opened their little bird’s eyes. “Oh, my little bird. Those decepticons have played with you since your birth, didn’t they? They made you believe that you aren’t worth anything, didn’t they? How evil is that? Making you believe you can trust them, only to stab you in the back.” 

Phoenix, after listening to Lightlost, let out a scream. A scream that let out all the pain he had felt for all those years of being hated for nothing. He did nothing to make others hate him. He just existed. He was just himself. Why did they hate him? Why did his crew hate him? Why?

The youngling kept on crying, until there were no more tears to shed. He’s run try, but Lightlost was still holding onto him. Which made the young mech feel safer than when he was with his crew. Phoenix liked that feeling. Safety. That’s something he’s only felt with his mother. No-one else. But now? Now he had two more mechs he could feel safe with. And Phoenix was thankful for that.

“Little bird,” Started Lightlost as they saw that their little bird had calmed down. “If you feel unhappy with your crew, why don’t you join ours? We might be small, but we’ll treat you better than they have ever done.” They could see the gears turn in Phoenix’s mind, before the youngling muttered a quiet ‘yes’. 

“Wonderful!” They cheered, before carefully getting up. Making sure that their little bird wouldn’t fall while they got up. “Let me bring you back to yours and the captain's room. You must be exhausted.” But before Lightlost could take one step, he felt a small tap on his arm. Which caused them to look down at the young spark in their arms.

“Lightlost?” Whispered Phoenix.

“Yes, little bird?”

“Are you my parent now? Because when I am with you, I feel as safe as when I am with my mother…”

This question was unexpected, but Lightlost wouldn’t force the youngling to anything. So, they simply smiled and patted the young spark on his helm. “Perhaps I am, little bird, if you see me as such.” Although, the answer of his little bird was more unexpected. The “I do” with that happy and innocent smile, one brighter than any they have seen before from him, caused their spark to warm. 

Yes, he would keep their little bird. 

No matter what may come. 

And those who tried to take him and their captain, well, Lightlost will make sure those never come so far.

[hahahha-fandoms]

I’m having a difficult time deciding and im this desperate to just send a poll out for it LMAO

and honestly, a majority of the shtuff would include serirei soooo thats to give it perspective

Maybe i need to spend time making better polls

[writinandcrying]

Jump - Leo x Reader ( Gender Neutral)

I’ve been writing this since last year, and it never seems enough, unfortunately, i no longer have the same infatuation with tmnt as before, so I’ve decided to post already because maybe other people need to hear it too

Hurt - Comfort Tw: mentions of being emotionally unavailable, insecurity, self doubt- reader afraid of being in love

A silk robe involves your body, it’s trying it’s best to keep you warm for such a delicate and thin fabric as the late night follow through, rain finally stopped pouring outside, a cold but gentle breeze has hugged New York for the night.

Staring outside the living room window, the sight of several fire scapes from apartments complexes look right back at you, There isn’t much movement outside, considering it’s 2 am and a week day, even the city gave in to serenity. If it wasn’t for the moonlight caressing your features, no one would even know there was someone awake on your apartment. Alone in dark, you stay still on your cough. no blankets, no pillows to give the luxury of confort. You don’t want to give into warmth right now, to be reminded of him and what you dont allow yourself to claim.

Hidden in the shadows, but never felt so exposed. Leonardo knows. You know he knows. And he knows you know it too. He knows the blush in your cheeks are destined to him and him only, the reason for soft smiles and wonder your eyes. He knows it and you have never been more miserable about it.

But you also know his husky chuckles are for you as well. Gentle hands, warm welcome’s to the lair, and long promising sighs that keeps you from crashing on waves that could drown.

Or kept, used to. At least

Insecurity and self doubt have fully blinded you, it has been so long since you felt anything like this. Usually isn’t this bad, doesn’t make you shiver and tremble just by thinking of him. Your infatuation spread like poison ivy on a brick wall from a old home, and the ghosts that lived in it didn’t like it. At all. ghosts of worse case scenarios and second doubts, who haven’t left you alone in years, and maybe never will, you had reasoned with them some years ago, made a peace offering, no intense feelings and they promised “we will be quiet, so quiet, you will forget our existence”, but they had made their presence once again known. They aren’t afraid to claiming for what they own.

You knew the pattern. Feelings flourishing, everything is well until you forget how to breathe, you forget to trust yourself and others. Become terrified of too many things, of losing, of loving too much, of loving too much then losing. To finally open the pandora box, share what no one has ever known. Would it be too much? Would it scare him off? This fear. This…. mold. Ruins yourself from inside out, intoxicating, until the smell is unbearable and you simply back off. hide once again.

It hurts, you try to convince yourself it doesn’t, But god, it does. To get so petrified it irradiates cold, like block of ice on top of unprotected hands. Melting until it stings all of the palm, until you can’t feel a thing. Lately you have been trying to control it, give in the sweet illusion that you got it, you have the upper hand, you can do it, but as time goes by, Your movements lose life it used to carry, voice doesn’t drip sugar like it used to, everything is precise and short. It’s hard to recognize yourself, but you know this very well, whispered words in the dark, all to convince that this unspoken love is false, nothing will come out of it.

And at the same time, The pain in his eyes of how distant you become hurts so much, sometimes your mind slips, for a moment you want nothing more but to throw yourself in his arms and beg for forgiveness.

You sit in the dark. there’s no light coming from you anymore

You sit in the dark, don’t answer his calls, or his brothers

You sit in the dark, pull away for weeks, until the hurting is constant and You get used to it.

You sit in the dark, Pathetic and cold. Where You think You deserve to be

You sit in the dark, Until a loud noise breaks your train of thoughts, the fire scape in front of you trembles with the sudden impact, ocean blue eyes stare back, fondly, you know it demands anwers as well, you inhale deep and slowly, unlock your window and give space for Leo to get inside.

Silence perseveres, there’s so much you want to say, at every passing second you feel your throat closing even more.

“I hate this, please don’t ever think for a second that I don’t hate this. “

You sit in front of him, eyes sting with threatening tears, unconsciously trying to hind your face with shaky hands, biting nails out of nervous habit. For months, you have been trying to keep it still, hidden, emotions were never your strong suit. And he knew that, you also just wanted to make sure that all of the cold hellos and goodbyes, the excuses not to see him had nothing to do with him. There was only one blame.

“I’m sorry-“

you interrupt him, shaking your head "no" slowly, “It’s not your job to-“

“No. I have let you drift. I have let you drift when I should have helped, when I should have shown that you were safe”

A single, heavy tear slips from the corner of your eye, you are trying so hard to keep it all in, convincing yourself there’s no way Leo can’t listen to your the drum of your heart

“I don’t think you can even if I wanted to” you let out a dry chuckle “I also think living without you is no longer a option” your lips tremble, he lets you collect yourself before going further “I’ve lived with ghosts, ever since before I knew they were there. Ghosts are guilt, ghosts are secrets, fear, regrets and failings… But sometimes times, ghosts are wishes”

“Did- did you really just came up with that?”

half of a smile scapes you “The haunting of hill house” you admit as looking down at your hands, as if they were far more interesting than looking at the one you are half way through confessing to

“Oh, never watched”

“It’s great show”

“Watch it with me” nor a request, or a demand, a plea, large fingers comes to yours, a attempt to connect, tracing your index with so much gentleness, as if any touch could draw you away

“It’s scary.” Your vision gets blurry

“I’m not afraid” you feel your hands being held more firmly this time, a thumb cares your palm slowly

“Its sad” your voice cracks, god, how much you hate crying

You feel his hand cupping your cheek, there’s no other opinion but to face him “Lonely too?”

“You have no ideia.”

“But I think it’s -so beautiful-” his thumb draws in and out gently on your cheek, you have never seen so much foundness into someone’s eyes, “In and out”

And with that, you give in, you don’t know who made the first move, if you closed the distance by burning your face into his chest, or he simply just cuddle you in,

You cried, cried everything that has been bubbling up to the surface until you couldn’t no longer, Leo held you securely, not too tight but tight enough to know he didn’t plan on letting you go

“You said it’s a house full of… Wishes?” A attempt to distract you, cutest thing, you let out a chuckle at it “ the ghosts are, A wish to be loved, to be yourself, and that to be enough”

“You have always been enough…Believe on that wish”

“Aint that easy”

“ you sound like-“

“If you say Raphael you better get ready to get your butt kicked” he chuckles, it drums out his chest, it’s an wonderful feeling to be this close to him, you both stay like this for a good while until Leo judges your breathing has gone normal again, he cups your cheek again, looking at you, admiring like he had done many times before, but then again, never like this, never this close,

your eyes are swallowed, your nose is as red as a tomato and he knows you are going to get a headache from crying too much. But for him, you always manage to make him feel like there’s fireworks going off in his heart, he can’t get enough

“Jump”

“What”

“Jump.” He brings your face close to his, kissing every dry tear away ”I’ll hold your hand while you are falling” he brings you close, so close you can feel his breath ghosting your lips “cuz I’ll be falling too”

Leo lips are so gentle, so soft, you know as soon as it touches yours, you are done for, your first kiss is agonizing slow, Leo is in no rush to savour you, melting into his arms, your hand travels to the nape of his neck, you want him as close as possible, He hugs your waist, there’s no space left between both of you, it’s everything you have imagined and more. He caresses you with so much tender, but it’s firm with desire, you match him as you explore his arms, his neck, his mouth, you want to discover all of his weak-secret spots and he wants to know yours too, all the time you imagined feeling him, hugging him, kissing him, loving him, thinking you would never be able to, build up until this point, it feels like you are on fire as your fingerstips draw maps over his rough skin, the longing between the two of you leave both breathless, you meet him at the end of it with most smitten smile plastered on his face

“ you will be okay, we both will”

“Promise?” you cup his cheeks, his hand travels up to your wrist, drawing in and out his thumb along your skin

“You do call me honor boy”

“I can’t believe you are flexing on that”

[eric-sadahire]

It’s finally New Years Eve, so I’ll either stay home and wish I went out,

or go out and wish I stayed home.

[youshouldseemeinadeerstalker]

Me every time David Jenkins does something on twitter

[cnradz]

I LOVE HEEEE

[bakathief]

Hi there ;) It’s your secret Santa…

I’m really sorry by the way, that there’s not much for you today… I just wanted to say hi! (…and since that’s it for now, bye bye)

Don’t worry, there’ll be more XD I've planned something... you'll see... Cheers ;)

[that-soccer-guru]

You know the video of Becky tackling people during that game at camp? Can we please all just imagine what would have happened if Sonnett was there???

I'm gonna need them to run that drill again at full camp, for chaotic reasons.

I so can see Sonnett and her crackhead energy REALLY getting into it, it would've been like Becky levels of intense but this time with more dumbass.

[kurosiee]

hello, pls. im begging for good eruri fics😔🤲🤲 pls recommend me some thank you.

[cursedchildofchaos]

Confetti is so fun! Like how can anyone be mad when there is confet...

Nevermind.

[moonlightjeno]

a/n: this is pt.2? or just jaehyun’s pov from this blurb. it doesn’t matter what you read first but i recommend reading [ 11: 13 pm ] first.

[ 1:04 am ] love. the way one’s heart can fall for another, it’s strings pulled by the simplest of smiles, or murmurs whispered by the other person, was never something that jaehyun had concerned himself with. he had never felt the urge to have that one person he could rely on, he had his chaotic friends for that, so when he met you it only seemed clear to him that nothing would come out of it.

Jaehyun didn’t remember who had mentioned the friends with benefits agreement, the more he thinks about it the more he’s convinced that neither you or him actually put out terms, but it was more of a mutual agreement. You were both lost, and needed something to feel alive. The last thing jaehyun expected was to get his heart dismantled, the strings pulled at from all different angles everytime the two of you talked about why you liked the night sky so much or how he knew, well didn’t really know, because you didn’t even know yourself how random bruises would graze your skin every so often leaving the two of you puzzled.

Jung jaehyun, had fallen in love. he’d fallen in love at the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong headspace.

the party that was being held that night by johnny had been more of a goodbye, he hadn’t told anyone, only johnny had known the way his heart ached at the idea of having to leave his friends and you. you who had flipped his world, with your smile and laughter.

the music was too loud for his ears, the constant boom boom of the bass that echoed throughout the house shook the floor ever so slightly and made him shiver. before the party had started, he’d made the executive decision to not drink, he wanted to be present on his last night in the city. the flashing lights of the cheap disco ball that johnny had bought years ago, blinded him slightly everytime they flashed in front of him.

his resolution to not drink was forgotten the moment he saw you walk in through the door. all thoughts on wanting to enjoy the little time he had left with his group of friends, left him, as he stood in the shadowed part of the staircase, mouth slightly open, as he felt the world play a cruel joke on him. the music no longer boomed in his ears, and the yells from everyone around him toned down to a constant buzz in his ears.

the party seemed to move in slow motion around him, as he watched you move towards the center of the dance room, cheeks flushed from the beer that you held gingerly in your hands. the constant tap on his arm is what shook him from his trance,  when he looked down he found your best friend, body pushed up flush against his, as she flitted her eye-lashes. Murmuring words that jaehyun couldn’t quite register, his mind dazed from seeing you his heart aching with yearning for something he could have.

pushing the girl away from him was harder than he’d expected, and when he finally managed to get to the drink’s table yuta already seemed tipsy, pouring drinks in random orders. jaehyun truly didn’t care what he was drinking, but he craved the burn that would travel down his throat as he downed one shot, and then another, and another. The girl’s that he’d pushed off before had somehow found herself to be by his side again, hand in his, so different from yours. he knew he shouldn't, knew that it would only hurt him and you if you saw him making out with another girl, especially when it was the same girl that you had introduced to him multiple times as your best friend. But at this point he didn’t care, he wanted the ache in his heart to go away, so he turned and leaned into the girl.

lips meeting lips, a short escape to what he felt. he pushed the girl closer, trying desperately to get your taste, the way you looked at him out of his mind. the girl pushed herself closer to him, minimizing the space between them and he couldn’t hold the disgust he felt any longer. Jaehyun muttered a soft “sorry” before breaking away from the small girl.

the constant bass of the party’s music flooded his ears again, his eyes heavy with exhaustion from the feelings he couldn’t run away from, could cut off drowsy focused on the your figure as it stumbled through the houses door, heels in your hand, cheeks redder than they were the last time he saw you. Jaehyun felt a light pat on the shoulder, Johnny’s low voice telling him to “go get her” before waving him goodbye as he rushed towards where he last saw you, the chemicals that had blurred his thoughts before almost no longer there.

a small yelp of surprise, is what he received, before a weak attempt to push him away as you batted at his arms, trying to pry him off. But he held steady onto you, laughter escaping his lips as you told him to “fuuuuu if”. It took all his energy to not pull you in closer to him, and kiss your temple, your forehead, your nose and cheeks as you continued to mumble obstroceties at how much you hated him. he wanted to be selfish, for once in his life he wanted to go after what he truly wanted, you.

jung jaehyun was sure love had not been made for him, when you gave up trying to fight his grip, and relaxed against his arms. he was sure love was the last thing he wanted, when he felt the figments of his heart scramble together and intertwined with emotions he couldn’t quite place, couldn’t quite describe, as he carried you back home.

Love. love made one question the world around them. It made one question what decisions to take and what one should leave behind and what they should stay for. If they should give up their dreams, and stay in the world that was a constant pressure on who they were and who they wanted to be.

It was in small moments, moments like these where your head was leaned placed against his, and he placed you in your bedroom. The bed creaking, the noise making you stir slightly, made you grab onto him a little tighter, a little longer, and the bed he used to curse for being so loud he thanked for a second. Small moments, when he couldn’t control his selfish actions, as you clung onto his arm right as he was about to leave, so he decided to stay only for a while longer. Only until the figments of his imagination, could conjure up a life with you and store it away.

1:05 am and jaehyun has finally managed to say goodbye. as he murmured “i love you” into your ear one last time, the first time really but god knows the amount of times he’s wanted to tell you. 1:06 am when he feels the warmth of your body leave his arms, as he shoves his arms into his jacket the smell faint of your perfume still lingering on his shirt.

figments. figments to life, figments of love and figments to his imagination. Those figments, those that slowly piece his heart back together and it breaks apart because you somehow managed to loosen all the threads and become the one tie in his universe of loose ends. figments, he thinks is how he will continue to love you until he is capable of meeting you again, at another time, another place. because the figments of the life he’s imagined with you will either break him or be his strength.

one will never understand the way love works, jaehyung thinks. He would never understand why you came into his life the moment he would have to leave you. He would never understand why he loved you, so much, but not enough to stay. Love. like figments, like most things in life if thought of hard enough become figments. Because in the end, we are all figments of each other's imagination.

dt: to the two anons that asked for this and gave me support on my the precious part !! tysm !! those messages make my day !!

[jamiemarsters]

Pics of the Day: @jamesmarstersof giving you the thumbs up, or the you rock, at the 2002 AFI Awards #JamesMarsters @americanfilminstitute #AFIAwards #EitherWay #HeThinksYoureAces #InCaseYouNeededReminding https://www.instagram.com/p/CGdz8uHj54L/?igshid=t3wb0egi24sz

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Have fun all that are still watching Sanremo tonight, I’m currently busy signing my heart over to Davide Shorty

[eric-sadahire]

My neighbor is both a taxidermist and a veterinarian

He has a sign that says either way you get your dog back