#EDIT. 600+. WHEN DID 600 PEOPLE FOLLOW ME

[inkynightmaresau]

Fear.

//so i finally moved 2 weeks ago im still getting situated. as one does, you know. apparently my brain is trying to recalibrate where i can Draw so thats something i didn't think of. however i do have more overall time to draw, my brain is just deciding im not Supposed to. i dont know why either </3 but i will pick this back up soon i have so many panels sketched out and/or in my drafts for later. you don't even know. anyways, to the person that sent this ask: this is the funniest random ask ive recieved. who are you. what . i hope u dont mind me using it to make an announcement sort of//

[ro-is-struggling]

Can I pretty please request 6 with sirius black and perhaps slytherin! Reader?

Hi beautiful💜 Thank you so much for participating in the celebration and I'm sorry it took me so long to post your request!

This is so long for no reason I’m sorry!! I got soooo carried away I didn’t realize I wrote a fucking novel until it was to late lol But I really enjoyed wrtiring this one even tho it took forever and it was a pain in the ass to edit lol, I had a lot of fun so I hope you like it too

Dating 101 || Sirius Black x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: You and Sirius are not the best of friends, but you end up going to him in desperate need of help to get the attention of the guy you've liked for years but don't seem to be able to talk to. He agrees to help you and for the next few weeks you spend time together, getting to know each other better as he teaches you everything he knows about the dating world. The more time you spend together, the more you realize that Sirius is not the arrogant jerk you thought he was, which leads to confused feelings and doubts about who is the one who truly owns your heart.

Warnings: slow burn, rivals to lovers, attempt at humor, reader being awkward, fluff, a little angst kinda

English is not my first language 

Word count: 16.700

This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration

You couldn't believe what you were about to do, your brain screaming at you to stop. You felt sick at the thought of turning to Sirius for help, but you truly had no other choice. You had avoided this as much as you could, but your situation couldn't go on like this, not if you wanted to get your crush to look at you at some point. You weren't a big fan of Sirius —you found that he could be annoying and arrogant at times—, but you couldn't deny that he knew all about the dating world. He was confident and was able to get the attention of anyone he wanted just by giving them a smile. You couldn't understand how he did it —how could anyone be so charming?—, but you couldn't argue with the hard evidence. Sirius was a master at the art of dating and you needed his help. 

You felt a bit silly going to him for help with something like this. You weren't necessarily friends, more like frenemies. You usually argued and competed for points for your respective houses-Sirius for Gryffindor, you for Slytherin-you were both very good students and found your fights stimulating, but you also knew how to work together when necessary. You didn't hate each other, it was just that your personalities clashed easily and you both had a predilection for annoying the other to the point of madness. 

"I need your help with something, Black." You announced when you found him at the Gryffindor table in the Great Dining Hall. He was with his friends, laughing as they plotted who knows what, but you didn't care. You needed to talk to him and you needed to do it now. "Can we talk... in private?" You added as you noticed James, Peter and Remus' curious glances at you.

Sirius looked at you with a raised eyebrow, noticing a hint of discomfort in your action. You were fidgeting, your fingers lightly tapping the edges of the book you held in your hands as you moved your feet constantly, shifting your body weight from one to the other every couple of seconds. Something was bothering you and for some reason you had gone to him of all people. Sirius didn't need to ask you any more questions to follow you into the hallway, too intrigued by what you had to say.

“What’s up, Y/LN?” He asked you when he saw the doubt in your expression, opening and closing your mouth a couple of times without making a sound. He had to admit that your behavior kept poking his curiosity to the point that he was willing to say yes to anything you asked as long as you told him something.

"I need your help," you mumbled as you searched for the right words to explain your situation. Your brain was screaming at you to shut your mouth, sure that Sirius would do nothing but make fun of you, but you had no other options left so that was a risk you would have to take.

"You said that already," he pointed out. "What do you need my help for?"

"I need you to help me get a guy's attention. I know you're really good at this stuff and I thought maybe you could help me out." You spoke quickly, the words running over each other and making the sentence almost unintelligible. It took Sirius a few seconds to understand what you had said, but when he did a cocky smile formed on his face.

“Really?” You regretted asking for his help as soon as you heard the amused tone in his voice. He was definitely enjoying this, it wasn't every day that you were so vulnerable in front of him. He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy listening to you compliment his abilities in the love department. For the first time you were admitting that he was better than you at something without putting up a fight.

"Forget it." You turned to walk away convinced that you had made a mistake in trusting someone like Sirius with your problem. You barely made it two steps before you felt his hand close around your arm to stop you.

"Nonono wait! I wanna help." He was quick to say before you got too far away. "What's your problem?" You remained silent for a moment, watching his face to make sure he wasn't messing with you. You weren't in the mood to put up with his teasing and this topic was too sensitive for you. If he wasn't willing to genuinely give you his help then you would have to leave.

However, you found nothing in his expression that made you suspect that he had bad intentions, so you told him your situation. You told him how much you liked this Oliver guy and how incredibly stupid you became whenever he was around. You had a crush on him for the past two years and even though you were from the same house and shared almost every class, you had never been able to exchange more than two words with him. And it was always embarrassing. All he had to do was look in your direction and you completely lost your cognitive abilities, becoming a nervous mess who couldn't utter more than two words without stuttering. 

After all this time you had almost gotten used to making a fool of yourself in front of Oliver, it was a constant part of your day to day life so you had stopped worrying about it the way you used to. You held out hope that you could get better with time, gather the confidence and courage to face your feelings and have a normal conversation with him at least once. However, all your hopes were shattered after the embarrassing moment you experienced this morning.

The Potions class had dragged on a bit so by the time you were finally able to leave the classroom everyone was running late for their next classes. Everybody rushed through the halls and in the confusion of people Oliver bumped into you, causing your books to fall to the floor. Like the gentleman he was, he bent down with you to pick them up and your fingers brushed as he handed them back to you, causing the skin on your hand to tingle. He smiled at you and apologized for hitting you, but your brain, overwhelmed by the contact and proximity, wouldn't allow you to do anything but mumble incoherently. When you noticed the confusion on his face you knew it was time to run, so you grabbed your books and ran down the hallway, bumping into a couple of students on the way.

“Wow! You suck!” Sirius laughed at your misery. He had a hard time imagining you as someone so shy and awkward given that with him you were Miss I-Know-It-All. Sirius always saw you as a confident and self-assured girl, ready to take the world by storm if it got in the way of your goals.

"I know!" you admitted with a tone of frustration, hiding your face in your hands. You didn't see the point in lying to Sirius, your pride was already crushed from the moment you decided to go to him. "That's why I need your help!"

"Okay, I'll help you, but what's in it for me?" The way he was looking at you, with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile on his face, made you suspicious of his intentions. What was he getting at? " What's in it for me if I help you, something that, let me remind you, I have absolutely no need to do?"

"My eternal gratitude?"

"Oh, it has to be something better than that! You're asking for a lot here, do you have any idea of how much work it's gonna take me to fix your awkwardness?" You knew he was joking for the most part and you were aware that there was a lot of truth behind his words —you were pretty much a lost case—, but it still hurt a little to hear him say that. You weren't used to taking his words without putting up a fight, but you knew that wouldn't get you anywhere. It was time to swallow your pride and listen to Sirius no matter how ridiculous and annoying it sounded.

"Then what do you want?" You asked him, letting out a frustrated sigh, crossing your arms in front of your chest in a defiant stance. You had no time for his games and you were pretty much willing to do anything for his help. "Name your price."

Sirius took a moment to think, but there was something in his expression that suggested to you that he already knew exactly what he wanted from you. 

"Fine I'll do it, but only if you help me with my Herbology assignment." He stated after a few seconds of silence. You looked at him in surprise, doubting for a moment if you had heard correctly. For some reason you were expecting something more terrible, like him using you to make a prank against your own house or having you as a servant for a week, you know, something that felt more like a punishment than anything else.

"Really? That's it?" It was a reflex caused by surprise that you couldn't help but blurt out. You were more than happy with his terms, helping him in Herbology was something you could do with ease.

"No, now that I think about it I also want you to declare to everyone that I'm better than you in everything, but we can work on that." 

And there was the Sirius you knew. You shook your head in disapproval, but couldn't contain the giggle that escaped your lips. He was an idiot, but a funny idiot. 

"Fine! We have a deal?" You asked, holding out your hand for him to shake. He looked at you for a moment before taking your hand, closing his fingers over it in a firm grip.

"We have a deal."

Sirius refused to tell you what he had planned for his first lesson  —his words, not yours. No matter how hard you pressed him for a clue, he kept his mouth shut. He told you it was best that you didn't know more than the day and time he wanted to meet with you to discuss your situation, so you had to spend the week between the stress of homework and exams and the nerves Sirius aroused in you with all the secrecy. 

But finally, after so much suffering and uncertainty, Saturday came. You usually took advantage of the weekend to do your homework or spend time with your friends, but not this time. From the moment you woke up you spent the day counting down the hours until you could meet Sirius. You weren't even surprised that he took his role comically seriously, walking around you while talking as if he was a teacher and you were his only student. He even made exaggerated gestures, mixing several of your teachers into one personality. He only needed a board to write nonsense on and the character would be complete. You didn't mind that he found a way to joke in the middle of it all, you figured that was better than literally anything else he could come up with.

"Today's lesson is about confidence." Sirius announced firmly, looking down at you as if you were an innocent little girl and he was an experienced adult who had all the answers to your questions. And in a way he was, so you closed your mouth and listened to what he had to say. "If you want to ask this guy out then first you have to be able to be able to talk to him. And for that you have to be confident in yourself and your abilities. That's really the most important part of all. Confidence can get you far in life."

You knew very well that what he said was true, but it was much easier said than done. You were a confident girl in general, sure of your ideas and unafraid to communicate them. In any other area of life you had no problem making yourself heard, but when it came to love your brain stopped working. It was the one thing your brain couldn't master, the one thing that didn't seem to make sense and therefore was impossible to study. The world and everything you knew about it stopped making sense when Oliver got close to you. Your brain would fry when he smiled, overwhelmed by the perfection of his face, and suddenly forget how to function properly, making your strong and special personality get lost in a bunch of incoherent babbling.

“That’s easier said than done,” you complained, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but everytime Oliver looks at me I get all stupid and suddenly I forget how to speak.”

“You’re insecure because you lack experience in the matter, that’s completely normal.” You frowned at the confidence in Sirius' voice, but after contemplating his words for a few seconds you realized he was right. How he had been able to figure it out so quickly, you didn't know.

“That… actually makes sense. What do you think I should do?”

“Easy! You need to practice.” He said as if it were obvious, dropping down next to you.

“Practice?”

“Yep, right here, right now. Show me what you’ve got.”

“S-show you what I’ve got?” you repeated in a whisper, unsure how to proceed. You didn't have any lines if that's what he meant. You didn't usually walk around school thinking about which boy's attention you wanted to attract that day, so you didn't have a list of stupid, cheesy icebreaker phrases like you knew he had.

"Just pretend that I'm him. You have me sitting next to you, what's your line?" Sirius' eyes were glued to yours, looking at you expectantly. It made you nervous, so naturally, you made nothing but a fool of yourself when you opened your mouth.

"Hey there... you..." you hesitantly mumble, cringing at yourself. You wanted to slap yourself for being so pathetic. What was wrong with you? You were so much better than this, why was it impossible for you to sound like a normal person when it came to a guy? "I'm sorry, this isn't working. I'm not usually the one that initiates the conversations. Also when I look at you I just see you, so this is dumb." 

You hid your face in your hands to avoid meeting Sirius' mocking gaze. You knew he was probably getting a kick out of your suffering and stupidity, although you were thankful he didn't make it so obvious. You wanted to run out of there, hide under your sheets and never be noticed again by any other human being. There was no hope for you, you were convinced of it. You were too pathetic and you would die alone because of it.

"Fine, let's try a different approach." Sirius sounded too optimistic for someone who had seen you make a fool of yourself like that. "You see that guy over there," he said, forcing you to take your hands away from your face so you could see the boy he was pointing at. When you nodded, he continued. "I want you to get over there and flirt with him."

You let out a long laugh that died as soon as you noticed the seriousness on Sirius' face. "Wait, seriously?" He nodded with a smile and you felt your stomach start to twist with nerves. 

"Look, talking to Oliver scares you, right? The only way to get over it is to face it right here, right now. So I want you to go there and talk to that guy."

"And say what?" You panicked, your voice a couple of notes higher than normal. You didn't even know the guy Sirius wanted you to flirt with, which guaranteed not only that things would go horribly wrong but also that you would be humiliated in front of a complete stranger. Great! That was exactly what you needed at that moment. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I can barely talk to you. what am I supposed to say to this guy?”

“I don’t know, use a dumb line like…” Sirius took a few seconds to think, though you wished he had never opened his mouth again. "Hey, I could tell from across the room we might be into each other, now that I'm here I know it, your move." The exaggeratedly feminine voice he made as he recited the worst line you'd ever heard in your life did nothing to ease your urge to hit him. There was no way you were going to say that to a complete stranger. No, you refused.

"I'm sorry, have you met me? I couldn't get through three words of that."

"Fine! Walk over there and say hey there."

"Hey there?" You tried to protest, but he cut you off, pushing you to get up.

"C'mon, up, up!" you resisted his pushes, but Sirius was much stronger than you and eventually won you over. 

You took several deep breaths before you decided to take the first step towards that mysterious boy who was so calmly reading a book sitting on a bench in the hallway overlooking the courtyard. You walked as slowly as possible without looking weird, turning every two seconds to look at Sirius hoping he would take pity on you and let you go back to your place. However, he just smiled at you, giving you the thumbs up in a gesture of encouragement and making you hate him just a little bit.

You sat on the unoccupied end of the bench, making yourself as small as possible to try to go unnoticed. It didn't make much sense since you were supposed to talk to him, but first you needed a moment to calm your nerves. 

C'mon, you can do this!' the voice of bravery in your mind tried to encourage you. 'It's just a guy! The sooner you talk to him, the sooner you can get this over with.'

You tried to summon your inner Sirius and, letting out a sigh, you turned to look at the boy who was still concentrating on the book in his hands. "Hey there!" Your voice sounded smaller and more pathetic than you meant it to, but it managed to get the boy's attention.

"Hi," he said, slightly confused. A few seconds of awkward silence ensued as your brain struggled to function, thinking of the best way to continue the conversation. 

"What are you reading there?" Without saying anything, the boy closed the book in his hands to show you the cover, giving you time to read the title. It was an old book from the library on the history of the magical world. "Ah, I see. Homework or pleasure?" You didn't know why you were so interested in the book he was reading, it didn't even matter for what you were supposed to be doing, but at least it was a topic of conversation. It was either that or a deep uncomfortable silence until one of you got tired and left.

"I'm doing some research for an essay," he explained as if it were obvious. What teenager would spend a weekend reading a history book for pleasure?

“Oh, about what? Cause I’m really good at History and I-”

“I’m sorry but I’m kinda busy,” he interrupted you before you could continue with your ramblings that were going nowhere. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Oh no, sorry!" you were quick to apologize, feeling the blood from all over your body pooling in your cheeks. Embarrassed, you turned your gaze away from the boy looking for anything else to focus on so you wouldn't have to face your humiliation. Your eyes met Sirius, who gave you a smile. On his lips you read words of encouragement, so you took another deep breath and returned your attention to the boy sitting next to you. "Actually... I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with me sometime?"

An awkward silence formed and lasted a few seconds. The boy's eyes locked on you, but you couldn't hold his gaze as you waited for an answer. Your eyes searched Sirius once again for comfort and that's when you heard the laughter.

"That was good! Did Sirius put you up to this?" the boy laughed, humiliating you a little more with each chuckle. Of course he thought it was a joke!

"You got me!" you blurted out with a fake laugh, throwing your hands up in the air in defeat. "He dared me to come over and talk to you. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

The boy said something else, but you didn't hear him since you were already running back to Sirius. You felt humiliated and dejected. Not only had you made a fool of yourself, but it had all been for nothing. That experience hadn't taught you anything you didn't already know —that you were awkward and weird and that you would die alone because of your lack of flirting skills.

"See, that wasn't so bad!" Sirius encouraged you as you sat back down next to him. "You got him to laugh!"

"That was humiliating and I hate you."

"Well too bad because now I want you to talk to fifteen guys."

"What? No, forget it!" Sirius was crazy if he thought you were willing to do that again. You'd been humiliated enough for one day, you wanted to go to sleep now.

"Oh my sweet, innocent little bug." Sirius said in an almost condescending tone, putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to him. You scrunched up your nose at the strange nickname he had chosen for you, trying to decide if you hated it or thought it was funny. "Confidence takes work. You can't just talk to one guy and expect everything to magically change. You need to work for it, take a few hits, learn that a negative response it's not the end of the world and it doesn't define who you are or your value as a person."

"It's easy for you to say! All you have to do is smile and every girl in school throw themselves at you."

"That's because I already put in the work, silly." He bumped your nose with his finger and you rolled your eyes, pushing him to break free from his embrace. Suddenly you weren't in the mood for his bullshit. "So now I want you to do the same. Go get them!"

Letting out a grunt, you got up and set off down the corridors of Hogwarts in search of boys who were isolated enough to give you some privacy while you made a fool of yourself —the last thing you wanted was to be the laughing stock of the whole school. And as you walked along you couldn't help but think that maybe asking Sirius for help hadn't been as great an idea as you had initially thought.

“How exactly do you kill two mandrakes in a row?” Was your answer when Sirius told you the reason why he needed your help in Herbology. As part of the practical exam for the OWLs, Sirius had to tend a mandrake plant until it was fully ripe and then present it to the professor. It was not an easy task —mandrakes, like humans, were complicated beings—, but not impossible either. Sirius was a very skilled wizard and you believed that someone like him would have no problem with such a task. But apparently you were wrong, because according to what he had told you it was the second time the plant withered and died before it developed squeaky roots similar to a very ugly human baby.

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking for your help." He shrugged, opening the greenhouse door and stepping aside to let you pass. You found his response suspicious, it was hard to believe that someone like Sirius couldn't take care of a simple mandrake, but you didn't say anything about it. Instead, you let him lead you over to where his pot rested. "What am I doing wrong?"

“Well, have you been watering it enough?” was your first question when you noticed that the soil in the pot looked a little dry. You motioned for him to hand you the watering can and you took it upon yourself to hydrate the poor plant. "You need to check on it regularly. Mandrakes are very similar to us, they need love and attention to grow strong and healthy."

"I'm not going to treat this thing like it's my baby or something." Sirius complained, leaning back on the table as he watched you analyzing the state of the plant. He had to admit that the light reflected off the greenhouse in a unique way, giving you a different aura. You were glowing in a special way that Saturday morning and he couldn't help but wonder what was causing it.

"You'll have to do it if you want to pass the exam." Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, bringing him back to reality. "But don't worry, I'll help you. We'll co-parent this thing." You both shared a laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, but Sirius would be lying if he said that the idea of spending more time with you disgusted him. He didn't quite know what was happening to him, but lately he didn't find you as annoying and insufferable as usual. Maybe it was because you weren't looking to argue with him every five minutes, or the fact that he had gotten to know a different side of you, but he found himself enjoying the time you spent together. It was fun to joke with you without starting a war.

You spent the next hour talking about mandrakes and you gave Sirius a couple of tips on how to keep it alive. You ended up setting up a schedule for him, marking the times when he had to visit to water it and when to move it to get the exact amount of sunlight it needed to grow strong. If he followed your advice, the mandrake would reach its squeaky baby stage in a couple of weeks. You promised to help him dig it up and repot it as it grew, but assured him that the daily care would fall to him so you could make sure he was learning something —after all, you didn't want to help him pass his OWL Herbology exam by cheating.

You parted ways when lunchtime arrived, each of you going to the table of your respective houses to eat with your friends. However, Sirius approached you again a couple of hours later while you were waiting with the other students to go on the Hogsmeade trip.

"Ready for your next lesson?" he said as he put his arm around your shoulders. It took you by surprise since in all the time you had shared in the morning he hadn't mentioned anything about having your next lesson.

"Already?" you asked, remembering that it had only been a week since your disastrous first lesson. Well, it hadn't been so bad after all. Sure, you had spent the afternoon humiliating yourself, talking nonsense to the first guy who crossed your path, but in the end you had managed to get a positive response from one. The small victory had made you feel good, but you still needed some more time to recover. 

"Well, you were really helpful this morning so I wanted to do something in return."

"Is it going to take long? Cause I wanted to go out with the girls."

"Just give me an hour, then you're free to go." You looked at him with hesitation in your eyes, the ghost of their last encounter haunting you. If his next lesson was going to be as terrible as the first you weren't sure you were ready, you needed time to prepare your mind for the humiliation. "C'mon, you're going to like this one." Sirius insisted with a smile and you ended up giving in to his charms. 

This time you kept your questions to yourself about what you'd do to yourself, knowing that Sirius wasn't going to give you a clue. You walked around Hogsmeade by his side, making casual small talk and laughing at his jokes as if you were lifelong best friends. However when you arrived at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop you couldn't help but ask him what were you doing there.

"The second lesson is going to be about the date itself and how to create the proper atmosphere." Sirius explained as he led you to one of the overly decorated tables. "If you want the date to end with you guys making out, you have to think ahead." You wrinkled your nose at his choice of words, but didn't mention anything about it.

"What do you in your infinite wisdom advise me to do?" you joked as you settled back in your seat. You stayed silent for a moment as you were served your tea, before returning to your conversation.

"Close proximity is very important if you want to create an intimate moment." Sirius declared as he took a sip of his tea. "No one is making out if they're three feet apart, so no matter where you have the date, you have to make sure you're close to each other." You listened to him speak attentively, trying hard to retain the information he was giving you as if you were studying for an exam.

“Being close, got it.” You repeated nodding your head, making a mental list of his advice that you hoped you wouldn't forget by the time you returned to school.

"If you come here for your date, you have to make sure you don't sit across from each other. Instead, move your chair a little closer to his, like this." Sirius slid his chair until it was almost next to yours so you were nestled against one side of the round table full of corny decorations. You could feel the warmth his body radiated caressing your skin. It made you nervous, though you didn't quite know why. You supposed it was because you weren't used to being so close to a guy —especially him— in a place that looked so romantic.

"See, this is better for flirting, accidental touching and making out." His voice had turned into a soft whisper, leaning toward you so he could speak in your ear. His breath collided against your neck with each word that left his lips, giving you goosebumps. The blood rushed to your cheeks from embarrassment, making your face feel on fire. 

When you dared to look up, your eyes met Sirius's deep gray eyes admiring your face. It was the first time you were so close to him, you could clearly note every detail of his face, every glint in his cold gray orbs. Suddenly you understood all the girls at Hogwarts who sighed lovingly every time they saw him passing through the school halls. He had a singular beauty that came completely naturally to him, effortlessly. It was hard to look away from his perfect features and captivating eyes, even though you felt small and self-conscious under his intense gaze.

Sirius' eyes trailed down your face, lingering over your lips for a fraction of a second. It was almost imperceptible, but you noticed it, just as you noticed the arrogant little smile that formed at the corner of his lips. The air caught in your throat as you felt the room grow smaller, trapping you with him, forcing you to be close to him. And when his fingers brushed the exposed skin of your knee you couldn't help but let out a shriek of surprise, jumping in your seat to get away from him.

Sirius laughed as you struggled to compose yourself, breathing deeply to calm the wild pounding of your heart, repeating in your mind that the tingling you felt in your knee was just the product of your imagination and meant nothing. "It's not funny, you jerk!" you complained, tapping him on the shoulder to shut him up.

"You say that 'cause you didn't see your face." He laughed and you rolled your eyes. He was an idiot.

"If you don't stop laughing I'll leave and I won't help you with your little Herbology project." You threatened him and that seemed to get his attention.

“Okay, okay!” Sirius exclaimed, raising his hands in the air in surrender. He moved away from you again and that allowed you to breathe easier as you regained your personal space. "So, moving on... How do you set the tone at the date? Lighting matters, okay? The darker it is, the better. It creates a more intimate atmosphere."

"Close proximity, lighting, okay." You repeated, adding more details to your mental list. "What else?"

"Body language! Is he leaning in? Is he sitting close?" Sirius moved closer to you again, exemplifying his words with his actions. Your heart rate spiked once again as you felt the warmth of his body envelop you once more. His hand brushed yours on the table, forcing your gaze back to them. You felt the strange urge to entwine your fingers with his, wondering what it would feel like to hold his hand, but you held back, trying to focus on his words to distract yourself.

"And then it's all about interaction." He continued, as if he didn't know the effect his closeness had on you. "Is he trying to impress you? Does he say complimentary things to you? If yes, chances are he's going to make his move."

"Wow, I had no idea guys like you even thought about this kind of stuff." you said in a sarcastic tone, hoping it would help ease the tension you felt in the air. 

"Well, that's because you're mean and you always think the worst of people." he joked and you laughed. He was kind of right. "But it's okay, I forgive you." Sirius put his arm around your shoulders again, pulling you against his body as you laughed and shook your head.

The tension in the air was beginning to dissipate, allowing you to have a good time together without feeling awkward and weird. You shared a couple more laughs before your date was interrupted by the voice of your best friend, who had seen you and Sirius from the store window as she walked through Hogsmeade and couldn't believe her eyes. As far as she knew you hated each other, so why were you hugging while drinking tea at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, a place frequented by couples?

You jumped on your feet at the mention of your name, struggling to think of an excuse that would justify you and Sirius being there. Despite the fact that she was your best friend, you hadn't told her about your little plan to get Oliver's attention. Not only was it humiliating to need help in order to get a date, but it was even more humiliating to have to go to the guy you argued with the most in all of Hogwarts for advice. It wasn't a decision you were proud of and you thought it was better if no one knew about it.

In the end it was Sirius who saved you, telling your friend that you were there with him to honor your part of a bet you had lost. It wasn't the first time you two had bet when arguing about something and most of the time it was the humiliation of the other that was at stake, so your friend bought the lie without asking many questions.

Before leaving Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop to follow your friend, you made sure to thank Sirius for saving you. He smiled at you, downplaying it, though you could swear there was a glint of sadness in his eyes as he looked back at you. You wanted to ask him if everything was alright, finding the sudden change in his mood strange, but before you could open your mouth you were interrupted by your friend's voice hurrying you to leave. 

In the end you could only give Sirius an apologetic smile before following your friend and disappearing out the door. But for the rest of the day you continued to think about the events of that afternoon, wondering why you felt so strange when Sirius was around and why you almost wished you could have stayed with him in the tea store for a while longer.

By the time the third lesson came around you were already having doubts about everything. Did it make any sense? Was anything Sirius was telling you really going to do you any good? Did you even want to go out with Oliver?

Wait, what?

Of course you wanted to go out with him! He had been your crush for years and you had done nothing but fantasize about talking to him, admiring him from a distance hoping that he would reciprocate your feelings. He was the only guy you had ever cared about all this time, so of course you wanted to go out with him. You didn't understand where that stupid question had come from.

And then, as if the universe was giving you an answer, you felt the weight of Sirius' arm on your shoulders. As you looked up you met his charming smile, the one that once seemed arrogant and made you roll your eyes in annoyance, but now awakened a strange but comforting warmth inside you. Could it be that he was the reason behind your confusion?

"Ready for your next lesson, dove?" He spoke with his characteristic cheerful and nonchalant tone of voice. He was so casual that you almost missed the new nickname he had decided to use with you on that beautiful Friday afternoon.

"I'm 'dove' now?" you asked, looking at him with a confused frown. It was a little strange, but you'd be lying if you said the nickname didn't awaken something in you, something you couldn't describe or put into words, but it made you feel good.

"Yes, because you're sweet and innocent like a dove." Sirius explained as if it were obvious, shrugging it off. It was clear that it wasn't a big deal to him, just a nickname he found amusing, but you on the other hand were a completely different story. You grew nervous all of a sudden and felt the heat of embarrassment on your cheeks. Never before had a boy used affectionate nicknames like that with you so you didn't really know how to react. So you didn't say anything, you just looked away and cleared your throat, pretending your heart wasn't beating at a dangerously fast pace.

"Don't you think it's a little late for a lesson?" you spoke after a few seconds of silence, watching the sun begin to set on the horizon. 

"I tend to work better at night." He winked at you and you nudged him in the ribs, though you couldn't contain a slight chuckle that escaped your lips.

"Fine, what are you going to teach me today?"

For the next few minutes you and Sirius talked about the importance of your date outfit, not so much to impress Oliver, but to make you feel comfortable and confident and thus increase your chances of success on the date. He talked about how everybody has that one piece of clothing that is special and makes them feel like the best version of themselves. For him it was his leather jacket, it was the first piece of clothing he had chosen and bought for himself to piss off his parents who only wanted to see him wear old-fashioned and uncomfortable tunics. It represented his rebellious spirit, his freedom, and so he wore it all the time. It was a reminder of who he was, of everything he had to fight against in order to express his true self, and that's why it made him feel comfortable and confident every time he wore it.

You didn't have anything remotely like that. You felt quite comfortable and liberated when you were alone in your room curled up in your bed wearing your pajamas while reading a book, but you doubted you could wear something like that on a date. You had never been very interested in fashion and accessories, you found that world too overwhelming. You didn't even think you had a favorite style, just a pile of clothes in your closet that you wore hoping they would match. 

"We have to change that!" was the answer Sirius gave you when you explained your situation. "Meet me in the third floor corridor after dinner, the one with the statue of the one-eyed witch."

"What?" you asked him with confusion. You hated his cryptic answers, why was it so hard for him to be direct and tell you what was on his mind? "What for?"

“Just trust me on this.” 

You had to admit that Sirius wasn't inspiring much trust in you at the moment. Why on earth did he want to meet you so late and why couldn't you do whatever it was he had in mind right now? Why was it so important that it was at night? And what was the deal with the third floor hallway? What was he up to?

None of your questions got an answer because before you could ask them he got up and left, leaving you alone and confused. 

You spent the next few hours debating whether it was wise to listen to Sirius or not. Wandering around the castle after dinner was forbidden and while you had broken that rule a couple of times, you never felt right when you did. It gave you too much anxiety and you didn't enjoy sneaking through the corridors looking over your shoulder every second. You weren't exactly a fan of that kind of adrenaline. 

That said, you couldn't deny that the idea of wandering around Hogwarts at night with Sirius sounded tempting. He was the king of breaking the rules, so you were sure he had his fair share of tricks to avoid getting caught. Usually you hated the impunity with which he carried himself, walking the halls of the school as if he owned it, unbothered about the consequences of his actions. But now that you knew him a little better you couldn't help but feel a little excited at the idea of being his partner in crime. 

Maybe there was some sense in his madness. Maybe he really was funny and you had spent all this time hating him for it because he annoyed you as a person. Since you had started this experiment with him you had done nothing but learn to see the world through his eyes. Every minute you spent together helped you to understand a little better his thoughts and the reasons why he did what he did. You had learned to like him, so why not give him a chance now? Maybe you would finally understand the reason behind his rebelliousness.

So, when you finished dinner you found a way to sneak up to the third floor undetected. You got there first, which gave your brain time to rethink the decision it had made as you paced back and forth nervously. However, when Sirius appeared a couple of minutes later apologizing for the delay all your doubts and fears disappeared.

"I had to make a quick stop to get some things." He explained, pointing to the crumpled piece of fabric he had hanging from one arm and the scrap of parchment he was holding in his hand.

"Are you finally going to tell me what the hell are we doing here?" You asked, crossing your arms. "If this is a prank I swear to Merlin-"

“I would never, dove.” Sirius interrupted you, awakening that strange warmth inside you once again by using the affectionate nickname. "I'm a man of my word and I intend to honor our agreement. But first I need to ask you something."

You furrowed your brow in confusion, but nodded your head without a second thought. "Sure, what is it?"

"You have to promise me that all this is going to stay between us. You can't tell anyone about what we're about to do." The secrecy seemed strange to you but it also peaked your curiosity. Why was it so important to him that no one knew what you were going to do? What did he have planned? 

There was only one way to find out.

"I promise," you assured him, waiting for him to explain what was going on.

"Great!" Sirius smiled and then pulled out his wand. He approached the statue of the one-eyed witch and touched it with the tip of his wand, uttering the word 'Dissendium'. Then an entrance to a dark tunnel opened up, a secret passageway inside the castle that you had no idea where it led to. If you weren't confused before, you definitely were now. What on earth was Sirius up to and why did it involve a secret tunnel?

"H-How did you do that?" You asked, dumbfounded. You needed to know how Sirius knew not only that there was a secret passage in the castle, but also how to open it. "How did you know?"

"I didn't spend all these years wandering around the castle for nothing." Was the answer he gave you, winking at you before entering the secret passage. "C'mon, let's go!"

Cautiously, you followed Sirius into the tunnel, pulling out your wand to light the way as the statue returned to its original position and the light at the entrance disappeared. You kept close to him as you walked, scanning your surroundings as you tried to guess where the passageway would lead you. It seemed to have no end. No matter how far you walked, you seemed no closer to getting to the other side. The lack of lighting didn't help much, it just added a creepy vibe that gave you goosebumps. Was Sirius planning to kill you?

"Where are you taking me?" you asked him after a few minutes of silence. You felt like you had been walking forever and still hadn't reached your destination.

"You'll see."

"Are you going to kill me and leave my body abandoned here?" you joked and he let out a laugh.

"Why would I want to kill you?"

You shrugged. "To avoid confronting the fact that I'm better than you at everything."

"At everything?" He repeated, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? Because last time I checked I'm not the one desperate for dating advice."

“Shut up!” You said, hitting him on the shoulder.

“Besides, you still have to admit to everyone that I’m better than you, remember?” He reminded you of his words the day you came to him for help. At the time you didn't think he was serious, but now you weren't so sure.

"You wish." You muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes. Being friends was one thing, but indulging him by admitting that he was better than you was something you weren't willing to do.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

“That's what I thought.”

You continued walking as you laughed and joked with each other, chatting to distract yourselves from the long time you seemed to need to get to the end of that damned tunnel. As it turned out, the secret passageway connected Hogwarts to the cellar of Honeydukes. Sirius led you through the now deserted store carefully, but not before wrapping you both in the crumpled piece of cloth he had slung over his arm. He put it over your shoulders first and when you questioned him about it he pointed towards your body which had now disappeared. 

Suddenly the success of his pranks and the gift he seemed to have for wandering around the castle without being caught made sense. He had an invisibility cloak! He was a fraud! Anyone could accomplish the extraordinary things he did if they had such a wonderful and convenient object as an invisibility cloak.

You were about to let out a sarcastic comment about it, but the air caught in your throat when you felt Sirius wrap his arms around your body, pulling you close to him. His warmth enveloped you as he stretched the cloth to cover your body as well, making sure you were both protected by the magical fabric to make sure you weren't discovered. 

Walking through the streets of Hogsmeade under the limited space provided by the cloak was uncomfortable, especially when you felt Sirius' warm breath against your ear. You had to constantly remind yourself to breathe, but not too fast because then he would notice the effect his closeness had on you. You hoped he didn't already know, although the way he wrapped his arm around your waist made you think otherwise. Damn, he was good! Just a brush of his fingers on your skin and you were already sighing like half the girls at school.

"What are we doing here?" You asked as you noticed that you had stopped at a clothing store.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sirius spoke without looking at you, pulling out his wand and muttering a simple incantation to unlock the door. "We're going to find your perfect outfit."

"Couldn't we have done that when the store was open, you know, in the daylight?" you pointed out, hurrying into the store before anyone on the street could see you. You were pretty sure what you were doing was illegal. Not only had you two snuck out of the school using a secret passageway, but you had also broken into a store and were about to rummage through the inventory of clothing without permission from its owners. 

You should be terrified, for all you knew you could be expelled from Hogwarts if you were discovered —not to mention the lecture your parents would give you at home. However, there was something about Sirius that filled you with a sense of security. For some reason in your mind nothing bad could happen to you if he was by your side.

"Yeah but we would have to wait for the next trip to Hogsmeade." He responded, justifying his actions with the excuse that the normal —and legal— way would take too long. "Besides, it's more fun this way." Sirius smiled at you and you shook your head, but you couldn't help but think he was kind of right.

"So we're going to rob these people?"

"No! We can pay for what we take, don't worry." He assured you, though it sounded too casual for your liking. You were breaking into a store and he was acting like he was going through the clothes in his closet. It made you wonder how many times he had done something similar in the past.

"Now get over here and start choosing clothes!"

Once you stopped thinking about the weirdness of the situation you started to have a little fun. Sirius helped you sort through the clothes, passing you items he wanted you to try on. Some were serious and some were just to joke around with you. You had to admit that even though you normally hated shopping, the activity became infinitely more fun if Sirius was with you. 

You lost count of the time you spent inside that store, making a mess of the clothes that had been neatly folded and arranged on hangers and shelves prior to your arrival. You tried on every style and aesthetic the store had to offer, modeling each outfit for the watchful eye of Sirius, who always found something nice to say about everything you wore.

"You suck at this!" you complained with a chuckle after he complimented the color palette of a ridiculously extravagant outfit you had put on for the sole purpose of making him laugh. "You're not helping me decide at all! Give me your real opinions."

"I am! I swear!" Sirius defended himself, raising his hands in the air. "It's just that everything looks good on you, dove."

You let out an incredulous laugh, rolling your eyes to hide the true effect his words had on you. You knew he didn't mean it, but you couldn't control the rapid beating of your heart every time he blurted out a line like that.

"I'm sure you tell that to all the girls in school."

"Never! You're the only one, dove."

Shaking your head, you disappeared into the dressing room once more. You didn't want to give him the chance to continue his meaningless flirting. You didn't quite understand why he was doing it. You knew he didn't love you —not in that way at least—, so why was it so easy for him to throw those kinds of comments around like it was nothing? Was he trying to boost your confidence? Or maybe it was because he was so used to jokingly flirting with everyone that he couldn't help but do it with you too. You honestly didn't know, it was hard to read him on that aspect.

Part of you wished he would stop because even though you knew he was just joking, you found it impossible not to feel things when he would tell you how pretty you were or call you affectionate nicknames. He was getting your hopes up for nothing, making you believe that someone like him could like someone like you. It was tiring to have to constantly remind your heart not to believe anything that came out of Sirius' mouth.

You tried to keep your doubts from ruining the nice moment you were sharing, shaking the thoughts out of your head and working on putting on your next outfit. Only, when you emerged from the dressing room to show Sirius, you found that he too was wearing an outfit he had taken from the pile of messy clothes. But it wasn't just any outfit, it was one that you had discarded after wearing it for a few minutes and ruling that it looked odd on you. And the worst part was that Sirius seemed to look better in it than you.

"What are you wearing?" you asked him, chuckling as he modeled for you.

"Am I a pretty girl?" Sirius said, looking at you through his eyelashes. He did a couple of exaggerated poses while pretending to be a high fashion model, eliciting from you one of the loudest and most genuine laughs you've ever had. But you had to admit that he did look good considering the clothes weren't the right size or cut for him.

"Yes, very pretty." You complimented him as you caught your breath, rummaging through the pile of clothes for another outfit for him. "Here, try this one."

Everything spiraled out of control then. You momentarily forgot that you were trespassing in a store late at night as you played dress up with Sirius like two little kids. It had been a long time since you had felt so free and relaxed and a part of you couldn't believe that Sirius was the one who had awakened that chill side of you. Usually he would do the opposite —annoy you and stress you out to the point of insanity—, but since you had started this little experiment together he kept surprising you. 

Now that you knew each other a little better, he made you laugh and for some reason he inspired reassurance and trust. All your fears that he would make fun of you or take advantage of the situation to humiliate you were behind you. He wasn't that kind of guy, no matter how immature and silly he usually seemed. Honestly, you loved this new relationship you had, where you still maintained a certain level of healthy rivalry combined with lots of laughter and inside jokes. Even if things with Oliver didn't turn out the way you wanted them to, you were still happy because at least he had left you with a new friendship.

What you weren't happy about, however, was fixing up the store after the mess you had made. Even with magic it took quite a while to put everything back in its place, but somehow Sirius found a way to make that tedious activity fun too.

But your jokes were interrupted when you came across something that caught your eye. As you were rearranging the clothes on one of the shelves you found a dress. It was black and had long sleeves made of the most beautiful lace you had ever seen, with detailed patterns that added a special delicacy to the piece. It was truly beautiful and you didn't know how you hadn't seen it before.

"You should try it on." Sirius' voice alerted you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"No, it's okay. We should just go, it's getting late." You put the dress back in its place, stepping away from that rack to rearrange the last remaining pile of disarranged clothes. That dress was beautiful, almost too beautiful for someone like you. You didn't think you could pull it off, so you preferred not to go near it. You didn't want to destroy your self-esteem if it turned out that the dress looked bad on you.

By the time you got back to school it was so late that everyone in the castle was asleep. It wasn't difficult for you to navigate the halls of Hogwarts undetected since Sirius had one of the best inventions in the history of magic: a map that told him the exact location of all the students and teachers within the school grounds. He didn't want to give you many details about it other than that it was a project he had done with the help of his friends and you didn't press him for more. Now you understood why he had made you promise not to tell anyone about tonight. Apparently he had more than one magical artifact that was best kept secret.

"Thank you for this," you said when you reached the entrance to your common room. Sirius had insisted on accompanying you to make sure you arrived safely before heading to the Gryffindor tower. "I had a great time."

"Me too," he admitted with a smile. He had really enjoyed spending time with you. He found that he really liked the relaxed and fun version of you that he had met tonight and wanted to see more of you. "I hope that after this you will realize how beautiful you look when you are more relaxed. Laughter suits you, you should do it more often."

You remained silent for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. That familiar feeling of warmth ran through you at his words, your whole body buzzing with joy. A smile formed on your face, a genuine sign of how much you appreciated his kindness.

"Goodnight, Sirius." You gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning and disappearing behind the doors of the Slytherin common room.

Sirius stood in place for a few seconds, staring at the spot where you had just been seconds before as he felt a tingling on the skin of his cheek where you had kissed him. Your scent still lingered in the air entering his system through his nostrils and clouding his thoughts with images of your smile.

"Goodnight, dove." he murmured to the air, bringing his hand to his cheek.

He knew then that he was screwed.

You noticed something was wrong with Sirius the moment you saw him walk through the greenhouse doors. You were meeting to change the mandrake pot as you had promised him you would. It was a relatively simple process if you took the proper precautions and a job best done in silence —you wouldn't be able to hear each other anyway because of the earmuffs protecting you—, but even for that he was too quiet. He lacked his characteristic sparkle, that mischievous twinkle you always noticed in his eyes. His smile had been replaced by a frown and he was distracted. He seemed to be worried or upset about something that he couldn't stop thinking about. 

You tried to ignore him, unsure of what to do. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but you didn't want to pressure him to talk if he wasn't ready or just didn't want to. Maybe he was trying to forget whatever was bothering him and your questions would only remind him of it. But eventually curiosity got the better of you and you decided it didn't hurt to ask.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" you finally spoke up, putting aside your gloves and the earmuffs you had worn to protect yourself from the mandrake's screams once the job was done. "You seem... off today."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I... I just have a lot in my mind." Sirius said, letting out a frustrated sigh. He leaned back against the counter, shoulders slumped in a pose that showcased his mood perfectly. He was staring at the floor, as if lost in thought, and you were suddenly curious as to what was so important to have him in such a state. You'd never seen Sirius so quiet or so serious before in the years you'd known each other.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you offered, giving him the option to use you as a shoulder to cry on, a friendly ear to vent to.

"It's my family, as always." He let out a bitter laugh, lifting his head so he could look you in the eye as he spoke. You could see the pain reflected in his expression and felt the urge to hug him. You knew about his family and how troubled they were. He had never fit in with them and had ended up being kicked out of his home by his own mother. It was a sad story and you had always felt sorry for him.

“I had a fight with my brother last night and I can’t seem to let it go… They're filling his head with those horrible ideas and there's nothing I can do about it. He doesn’t want to listen to me.” 

You knew exactly what he was referring to, you had seen the people Regulus was hanging out with and sadly you shared the same concerns as his brother. Many of your peers in Slytherin were being caught up in dangerous hate speech and you completely understood Sirius' frustration about it. It hadn't yet touched you as closely as it did him - none of your friends shared those kinds of ideas - but you could imagine how painful it was for him to see his brother involved in something so horrible.

"Oh Sirius, I'm sorry." You didn't quite know what to say, there were no words that could ease his sadness or concern. You could only support him at that moment, hoping that your understanding would be enough to make him feel a little better. 

Without even realizing it, your hand slid across the table to rest on Sirius'. It was a desperate attempt on your part to show him that you were there for him, something you did without thinking. Sirius's eyes lingered on your joined hands for a few seconds, staring at them as if he found it hard to believe what he was seeing. It made you feel a little self-conscious and you considered moving your hand, but before you could do so he moved his so that he could intertwine his fingers with yours. This time it was you who looked down at your hands as you felt him give you a light squeeze. It was such an innocent act, something so common, but it still awakened that special tingling inside you. It was the first time you were holding hands and it felt... good, comforting. 

When you looked up you were met with his sweet smile. Sirius didn't need to utter words for you to understand that he was thanking you for your support, it was written all over his face. You had to fight the urge to hug him, thinking it might be too close and personal. You had a strange relationship - you weren't enemies but you weren't technically friends either - so it was hard sometimes to realize when something was too much. 

Then an idea formed in your mind. Images of your special place flashed before your eyes like a movie and you decided it was an appropriate time to show Sirius that he wasn't the only one who had extensive knowledge of the Hogwarts grounds.

"C'mon, I want to show you something." You told him, pulling his hand entwined with yours to guide him out of the greenhouse.

You didn't have to go far to get to your special secret spot, just walk down the hill until you reached the edge of the lake. There was a large tree that provided plenty of shade and between its huge roots was a comfortable hole that you liked to sit in. It was the most beautiful and peaceful place you knew in the whole school. You liked to go there when you felt overwhelmed or stressed, sitting under the shade of the tree and just think for a long time, the world always seemed better after that. You were convinced that there wasn't a single problem that couldn't be solved with a meditation session in your special place.

"Welcome to my special place!" you announced with a smile when you arrived at your destination. "Come, sit here with me." You settled into your usual spot at the foot of the big tree and patted the free space next to you inviting Sirius to join you. He stared at you for a moment, but finally sat down next to you. 

"How did you find this place?" Sirius was amazed at the beauty of the scenery around him. He obviously knew this place existed, but he had never paid attention to how beautiful and peaceful it was. There were no other students laughing and running around, just him, you and nature. 

"You're not the only one with extensive knowledge about the castle, Black." 

"So, what happens here?" He forced himself to look away from the landscape to return his gaze to you only to find that you were staring off into the horizon. The sunlight reflecting off the water of the lake illuminated the whole place in a different, more magical way, especially your profile. It gave you an ethereal aura that took his breath away for a moment. 

"We sit here and we think." You replied without taking your eyes off the birds flying through the trees on the other side of the lake. "I always come here when I'm sad or stressed out. There's something about this place that makes all my problems go away."

You sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the scenery, letting the tranquility of nature bring you inner peace. Sirius tried to push the negative thoughts from his mind, concentrating on the birds singing and the sound of the water, hoping that would be enough to make the frustration and anger that was overtaking him disappear. It wasn't working out so well, but he didn't have the heart to tell you that your special magical place wasn't as powerful as you thought it was.

Well, that was until he turned his head so he could look at you. You were completely lost in thought, gazing forward with no idea of the way Sirius was looking at you. You seemed so happy, so relaxed, that he couldn't help but feel a warm feeling spreading inside him. He found comfort in you, in the special sparkle in your eyes, in the way you cared for him despite your shared history. For Sirius, the healing magic was not in where you were, but in you.

"Things are going to get better." You broke the silence, turning to look at him. His eyes were glued to yours and you discovered that the dark patch of sadness that covered his signature cheerful glow had dimmed a bit.

"How do you know?" Sirius' voice was low, almost a whisper that you were able to hear above the noises of nature thanks to the short distance separating you. 

"I have to believe that they will. We all have to." Sirius wasn't so sure about it, he didn't have your blind optimism, but for a moment as he lost himself in the depths of your eyes he found hope. Everything seemed simple as long as you kept your eyes on him. He could face anything if you were by his side to guide his path, to hold his hand and remind him that everything would be alright. He found peace in you, something that both calmed and scared him. He was much more screwed up than he originally thought.

The more time you spent staring into each other's eyes in silence, the more the tension in the air increased. Sirius was suddenly aware of how close he was to you. He could feel the warmth of your body against his side, the touch of your leg against his and the smell of your perfume that assaulted his nose every time he took a breath. He only had to extend his hand a few inches to touch you, or lean in just a little to brush his lips against yours. Those beautiful lips of yours that tempted him since the first time he had laid his eyes on you. The same ones he had fantasized about kissing many times in the past, even when all that came out of them were insults and ironic laughter dedicated to him.

Sirius leaned towards you without even realizing what he was doing, lost in thought, mesmerized by the sight of your lips. He felt your breath against his face, mingling with his, and the touch of your nose against his. And then your lips met in a kiss that took you both by surprise. He captured your upper lip between his, reaching out his hand to grab the back of your head and pull you closer to him. You surrendered to the expert movement of his lips without putting up a fight, letting him guide you as you melted into the kiss.

Multicolored fireworks exploded behind your eyes, the butterflies in your stomach going crazy as you struggled to keep up with Sirius. It wasn't your first kiss, but it was the first time you felt wave after wave of electricity coursing through your body from one. You felt like you were flying, completely lost in the intensity of the moment. It was a special kind of high you never wanted to come down from. Sirius' lips just felt right on yours, caressing you with such passion and delicacy at the same time. It left you breathless and desperate for more. So much more. 

But the kiss was cut short as quickly as it began when Sirius suddenly pulled away from you, leaving you confused and a little stupid.

"I-I'm... I'm sorry, I-" he struggled to come up with an excuse as he realized what he had done, feeling awkward and somewhat embarrassed that he had let himself get carried away by his impulses.

"Nono, it's okay, I..." you tried to intervene as well, fighting the fog that clouded your mind to try to form a coherent sentence.

"You know what? That was practice!" Sirius blurted out without thinking, making you frown.

"Practice for what?"

"J-just f-for the next step of the plan... in case you hadn't made out with anyone in a while." Sirius didn't sound confident in what he was saying and if you were in different circumstances you might have realized that was a lame excuse he'd made up on the spot. But your mind was still a bit affected by the kiss and you couldn't think straight, so you didn't notice.

"Is that what it felt like? That I hadn't made out with anyone in a while or whatever?" You tried to sound casual so as not to let him know how much you cared about his answer. To you that had been the best kiss of your life and it hurt a little to think that it had meant nothing to him. It made sense though, Sirius had a lot of practice and a lot of girls to compare you to. He'd probably had millions of better kisses.

"Well, I'm more of a tongue guy myself." Sirius joked, trying to ease the tension in the air.

"You don't say. I think I felt it poking at my throat." You played along and you both burst out laughing. The sweet melody of Sirius' laughter traveled through the air to your ears, entering your system and filling your insides with joy. All you wanted was to hear him laugh, to make him happy so that he would forget his problems at least for a moment. Everything stopped mattering to you as you watched the characteristic happy glow return to his eyes, concentrating all your efforts on keeping him distracted for as long as possible.

"Are you giving me kissing advice, dove?" he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, as if he couldn't believe the words that had come out of your mouth. No one had ever criticized his kissing technique.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Dove, c’mon.” Sirius said, making a funny face, and you nudged him playfully.

"You need it!" You assured him with a chuckle.

“That’s how people kiss.”

“Yeah in porn maybe.” You said rolling your eyes, exaggerating things to sound more dramatic. "You know what? I'm going to be the one giving you a lesson for once. This is how girls like to be kissed." Sirius looked at you cautiously, but let you guide him into the position you wanted, intrigued by whatever it was you had in mind. You moved too, and soon you found yourselves sitting across from each other. "Close your eyes." you instructed him and he obeyed without question. "Now lean in, slowly. Let the tension build." 

Your eyes were focused on admiring the beauty of his face as Sirius moved closer and closer to you. He was the definition of masculine beauty with the sharp angles on his cheeks and those enticing lips that called out to you. His long hair framed his face perfectly, looking so silky and soft that you couldn't contain the urge to touch it. You brushed aside a couple of rebel locks that fell over his face, delicately tucking them behind his ear before letting your hand slide down to his cheek. You felt him lean a little into your touch and had to bite your lip to avoid kissing him at that moment.

The distance that separated you was shortening with every second. You could feel his breath mingling with yours, all you had to do was lean forward and you would once again be enveloped in the warmth of his body, feeling the soft caresses of his mouth on yours. You took one last look at his lips and prepared to make contact with him. Only it wasn't your lips on his, but your tongue licking his left cheek.

"Oh no you didn't!" Sirius exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and horror, bringing his hand to his face to wipe your saliva off his cheek. You let out a laugh and he couldn't help but laugh along with you. "You are a phenomenal kisser!" He joked and you gave a small nod, accepting his compliment.

“Thank you. That’s how we like it!”

“I’m taking your word for it. You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

“Never! Trust me, girls love to be kissed like that.” Sirius shook his head, as if he still couldn't believe what you had done, but he laughed with you. You had taken him by surprise and he had to admit that a part of him was a little disappointed at not feeling your lips on his again, but he couldn't deny that he was having fun.

"Are you feeling a little better?" You asked him when the laughter died down.

"Yeah, a little." He answered honestly. You had really managed to do in a couple of minutes something that even his best friends hadn't been able to do in hours: make him forget. You had an ability to get through to him that no one else had and it was nice to see you using it for good for once —instead of using it to get on his nerves like you used to. 

"Thank you, dove." You could tell by the tone of his voice that Sirius was genuinely grateful to you. Apparently your nonsense had managed to help him a little and that made you happy. It was nice to be able to give him back some of the positive energy he brought to your days since you had started your arrangement.

"Don't mention it." You shrugged, downplaying it. "Just know that I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk. And this place is yours too now if you ever need it." You rested your hand on his again and Sirius felt that tingling under his skin again as his insides filled with that warm feeling at your words of support.

Oh, he was completely screwed.

You couldn't get that kiss out of your mind. Ever since that day at the lake Sirius was all you could think about. You caught yourself looking at him when you thought he didn't see you, remembering that kiss, what you had felt as he held you, the warmth of his body enveloping you and the softness of his lips on yours. You wanted to feel it again, to experience again the sensation of pure ecstasy that took over you the moment your lips collided. His kiss had made you feel alive in a special way. You had never felt anything like it before, an electricity so intense that it coursed through your whole body, awakening every cell inside you with the simplest of touches. It was pure magic, something out of the most perfect romance novel, no one could blame you for wanting to feel it again.

But then you remembered how you had gotten into that situation in the first place. You had come to him for help in getting another boy's attention and that's what Sirius had done all along. All those cute little moments that awakened butterflies in your stomach every time you remembered them weren't real. You were fooling yourself, seeing things that weren't there. He wasn't spending time with you because he loved you, he wasn't interested in you —at least not in that way—, he was just holding up his end of the bargain. Sure, you had improved your relationship considerably since all this had started, but you had to keep in mind that if it wasn't for your proposal you would still be fighting every chance you got.

Sirius wasn't in love with you and you weren't in love with him. You were just confused because you weren't used to getting that kind of attention from a guy —especially not from a guy like Sirius. Your heart belonged to Oliver, it had for the past three years and that wasn't going to change because of a silly kiss that hadn't meant anything anyway. You had to focus on what was important, what you had worked so hard to get: the date with Oliver. Once you finally managed to get it your mind would be able to focus on that and then you'd realize that your feelings for Sirius were just temporary.

So that's exactly what you did. You mustered all your courage, remembering every lesson you'd learned over the past few weeks, and looked for the perfect opportunity to talk to Oliver. The moment presented itself in Potions class. By sheer luck you ended up being paired up to work on a project together and you took advantage of the opportunity to start a conversation with him.

For the first time in three years you were able to form coherent sentences in front of him, alternating between comments about the project you were working on and casual small talk. The nerves and fear that usually overcame you when he was around were gone, allowing your personality to surface. You spent the entire class chatting and laughing as if you were lifelong friends. As it turned out, Oliver was a really nice guy and really easy to talk to when you didn't overthink every single thing you were going to say to him. You thought Sirius would be proud of you if he could see you acting so relaxed and free. 

That's when you realized that he could probably see you since Gryffindor and Slytherin shared a Potions class, so you looked up to find him among the groups of students. Your eyes found him at the back of the room, sitting next to James as they worked on their potion. Your eyes met for a moment and you gave him a victorious smile, a silent way of letting him know that things between you and Oliver were going well. You thought that after all the time he had spent preparing you for this moment he would be happy to know that his efforts had paid off. You expected him to smile back or even give you a thumbs up in support, but he simply looked away and turned his attention back to the brew he was preparing with his friend. 

You frowned, puzzled by his attitude. Was he angry with you? Had you done something to upset him? He couldn't possibly be mad at you because you were talking to Oliver, could he? That was ridiculous! He was probably in a bad mood about something else that had nothing to do with you. It was most likely about his brother, maybe they were fighting again and that's why he was acting strange. You had to stop obsessing about Sirius and focus on what really mattered.

You tried to ignore your concerns about Sirius at least until the class was over, returning your attention to Oliver and the story he was telling you. You worked and laughed for the rest of the lesson, turning in a perfect potion at the end of the hour. And as you gathered your things and prepared to leave the room you realized you had to make your move. It was now or never. So you summoned all your courage and asked Oliver if he'd like to go out with you sometime.

For some reason you fully expected him to refuse. That voice inside your head that loved to overthink everything you did and imagine the most catastrophic and improbable scenarios kept telling you that it was too fast. You had only shared one successful conversation and you were already asking him out on a date. It had been a mistake and you had to take it back immediately! 

But that voice in your mind was muted when Oliver accepted your offer with a smile.

You stood in your place for a moment, watching Oliver leave the room with the rest of your classmates as your brain tried to process what had just happened. You had spent so much time imagining that moment that now it didn't feel real. A part of you thought it was an overly realistic dream that you were going to wake up from at any moment, though the illusion was shattered when your eyes met Sirius' as he left the room. It was only for a second, but it was enough to leave a bitter taste in your mouth. 

Why did his presence affect you so much?

"Ann, you're not going to believe this!" You exclaimed in excitement when you found your friend in the crowd of students walking through the halls to their respective classes. You pushed her to the side to get a little more privacy, waiting for a group of second year students to pass by to give her the big news. "I got the date!" you said, emphasizing the word 'the' so she understood what you meant. 

"With Sirius? I thought you guys were already dating." Your best friend's response took you by surprise. Why would she think you and Sirius were dating?

"What? No! Sirius and I are not dating. Why would you think that?"

"Oh." She murmured, genuinely surprised. "It's just you guys are spending so much time together lately and look so happy all the time that I just assumed you were dating and were keeping it a secret." She shrugged. "Plus there's that one time I found you two at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop."

“That didn’t mean anything. He was just helping me get a date with Oliver.”

“Oliver? You still like that guy?”

“What’s wrong with him? I thought you liked him.”

“I do! He’s a nice guy, but…” Ann trailed off, like she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest waiting for her to say whatever was on her mind.

"But what?" You pressed her, noticing she wasn't going to speak.

"I just think Sirius it's better for you, that's all." You scrunched up your nose at her words. How could Sirius be better for you when just a couple of weeks ago you weren't able to hold a conversation without fighting like little kids? It was ridiculous, and honestly you were starting to get tired of the universe continuing to insert him in the middle of everything. Oliver was the guy you wanted, not Sirius, was that so hard to understand?

“That’s ridiculous! Plus, Sirius doesn’t even like me like that. We are just now starting to get along, I’m not even sure if he even considers me his friend.”

“You’re joking, right?” Ann looked at you as if she couldn't believe the words coming out of your mouth, something that only added to your confusion. "Have you seen the way he looks at you? That guy is head over heels for you." You let out a laugh that echoed throughout the hallway, but died down when you saw the serious expression on your friend's face. She couldn't be serious, could she? There was no way Sirius had feelings for you.

"That's a good one!" You patted her shoulder, congratulating her as if she had told the funniest joke you'd ever heard.

"I'm being serious, dummy! I've seen you two together and there's no way he doesn't have feelings for you."

"Then you're seeing things!" you exclaimed before turning around and starting to walk to your next class. You no longer wanted to hear what your friend had to say. You had gotten the date you had been dreaming of all this time, why couldn't she just be happy for you? Why did she have to make everything so complicated?

"And do you know what else I think?" She insisted, walking up behind you and raising her voice a little to make sure you heard her. "I think you have feelings for him too but you're too stubborn to admit it."

You decided to ignore her, but her words echoed in your mind for the rest of the day. Could she be right? Could you be in love with Sirius? It sounded ridiculous, something completely impossible. But then you remembered that kiss you had shared by the lake shore. You remembered the tension in the air, the softness of his lips on yours, the way he had held you close to him and the waves of electricity coursing through your body. You weren't sure if you were in love with him, but you couldn't deny that there was a spark between you that was much stronger and intriguing than your relationship with Oliver. Maybe you were too stubborn or too scared to call it for what it was, but it was evident that it was there and apparently everyone could tell. Everyone but the two of you.

You felt like your head was going to explode from so much overthinking and questioning what you were feeling. It was driving you crazy and you weren't even able to come to a conclusion. Every time you were close to finding the answers you were looking for a new voice would pop up in your mind and ruin all your progress with its comments. You were so wrapped up in denial that it was impossible for you to understand how you truly felt.

So you decided to stop worrying about it. If you had learned anything in the last few weeks, it was that everything was so much easier when you turned your brain off for a while, relaxed and let things flow. You had time to figure out your feelings and think about what to do about them. Right now all you had to do was celebrate because your plan had worked. You had gotten that date with Oliver and that was all that mattered.

In the spirit of your new decision you didn't worry about what hidden message could be behind the strange note you got from Sirius asking you to meet him at your special place. You two hadn't spoken in the last few days. The last contact you'd had with him was in Potions class when he practically ignored you. The cryptic message he had left for you inside one of your books made you curious, wondering the reasons behind his interest in meeting you at your special place. However, you tried not to think too much about it, limiting yourself to showing up at the right place and time to hear from his own mouth whatever it was he wanted instead of driving you crazy imagining the worst.

"Hey!" you greeted Sirius awkwardly, feeling a strange tension in the air that took you back to the events of the last time you had been there. He was sitting in the exact same spot as that time, waiting for you to occupy the empty space next to him. "I got your message. Why did you want to meet here?"

"Oh I just wanted to talk to you. We haven't done that in a while." He gave you a smile, but you noticed it wasn't reflected in his eyes. You wondered if maybe that was because the situation with his brother had gotten worse. Maybe that was the reason he wanted to talk to you, after all, you had promised him that you would be there for him when he needed you. 

You took a seat in the empty slot next to him, hoping that the conversation would focus on his family once again. However, the next words out of his mouth took you by surprise. 

"I saw you talking to Oliver the other day." You froze, your brain short-circuiting as you tried to think of how to respond. 

"Y-yeah, I was... I was talking to him." You responded awkwardly. Why was it so weird for you to talk about Oliver with Sirius now? You didn't seem to have a problem with it just a couple of days ago. What had changed? "It went pretty well. I got a date." You smiled, but your smile didn't show in your eyes either.

"That's great, dove! I'm really happy for you." He almost sounded sincere, but you had heard the real joy in his voice too many times in the last few weeks to recognize when he was faking it. His voice was low and quiet, as if he struggled to utter those words. Your friend's voice echoed in your mind and for a moment you wondered if she might be right.

"I have something for you." Sirius' voice snapped you out of your thoughts. He turned for a moment and it was then that you noticed the package resting on one of the large tree roots. "Let's say it's a graduation gift." He added, handing you the package.

You carefully unwrapped the gift, discovering a black piece of fabric inside. But it wasn't just any piece of fabric, when you held it in your hands you realized it was a dress. It was that dress you liked so much but hadn't had the courage to try on when Sirius took you shopping. You froze in place, your eyes traveling from the delicate piece of clothing in your hands to Sirius' face, who was looking at you expectantly.

"I saw the way you were looking at it at the store so I went back and I bought it for you. I don't know why you didn't try it on at the time, but I'm sure it'll look great on you."

You were speechless, your brain unable to put into words how much that small gesture meant to you. He had noticed. He had seen the sparkle in your eyes as you admired that dress in the store. He looked at you when you didn't notice and paid attention to every detail. That thought alone made your heart race. He cared about you, it wasn't a product of your imagination or your heart getting confused. Sirius truly cared for you.

"Sirius, I... You didn't have to..." you struggled to say, trying to find the words to describe what you felt. You didn't know why such a simple gift moved you so much. You supposed it was the principle of the thing, the thought behind it. That dress was a perfect summary of your relationship, a delicate and intricate piece of fabric that you refused to try on out of fear. And just like that dress, you too were afraid to try things out with Sirius. Both were unfamiliar territory for you so you preferred to avoid them rather than face them. 

But Sirius seemed to have a different idea.

"Of course I did! I just knew you would look beautiful in it and I need it for you to have it." Sirius sounded so convinced that for a moment you felt confident, forgetting your fears about the dress. He looked at you with such adoration that there was no way you could feel any different. He gave you all the confidence you needed. Everything was so much easier when Sirius was by your side holding your hand and saying exactly what you needed to hear. He was good for you.

“Maybe you can wear it to your date.”He couldn't hold your gaze when he said that, averting his eyes to the lake that reflected the beautiful orange colors of the sunset in its waters. The idea of wearing that dress in front of anyone but him felt wrong. That outfit was your little secret, your special gift - just like that place was.

It was then that you understood what you had to do. It was time to put denial and fear aside and face reality. You had feelings for Sirius and that wasn't going to change because you forced yourself to be with someone else. It wasn't fair to Oliver or Sirius, and it definitely wasn't fair to you. Even if things didn't turn out the way you hoped, you deserved to explore your feelings for him without fear.

"I don't know. To be honest, I don't know if I want to go out with Oliver anymore."

Sirius returned his gaze to your face, a frown drawn into his expression. "What do you mean? Wasn't that all that you wanted?"

"I used to, yes. But lately I've been thinking about this other guy... he's a real charmer, I can't seem to get him out of my head. It's a tough situation because I used to hate him, but I had the opportunity to get to know him better and I think I'm falling for him." Sirius looked at you with his eyes full of doubt for a moment, refusing to listen to what his heart thought you were saying. But then you smiled at him and he understood your hint.

"I think I know who you're talking about. Is he by any chance the most handsome guy in Gryffindor?" The characteristic cheerful twinkle returned to his eyes as well as a mischievous grin that got a chuckle out of you.

"Maybe." You played dumb. "He's also a huge dork, but I kind of love him for it." This time it was Sirius that let out a chuckle, throwing his head back as his body shook with laughter.

"Well, then you're in luck because this handsome dork is also in love with you."

You shared a meaningful look that was stronger than anything you could say to each other at that moment. And then, just like that other day at the lake, Sirius leaned toward you and pressed his lips to yours. It was a much longer kiss than the first one you shared, one that you both could enjoy in the moment given that it wasn't the product of an impulsive decision. You both wanted it, you longed for it from the moment you parted after your first kiss. 

Sirius' hands framed your face, pulling you closer to him. He needed to feel you against his body, to feel your warmth enveloping him. He had missed the feel of your lips on his, caressing his mouth so delicately. He had spent every second since that kiss cursing himself, fearing that he might never feel you so close to him again. His world had crumbled when he saw you talking to Oliver in Potions class, thinking he had pushed the girl he liked into the arms of another guy. He hated to think that anyone but him could have the chance to caress your lips. They were made just for him to kiss, no one else could touch them.

But now that he had you back in his arms all his concerns disappeared, fading away thanks to the intoxicating mixture of your perfume and the sensation of your lips on his, moving so gracefully together that he couldn't help but think that you were meant to be together.

"Since we're being honest, I have a confession to make." Sirius spoke as you broke apart, struggling to catch his breath. "I never needed help with Herbology, I just needed an excuse to spend more time with you."

"What?" you exclaimed in surprise. You didn't see that one coming. "Then whose plant was that?"

"It was Peter's. He sucks at Herbology." Sirius admitted and you let out a chuckle as you shook your head, unable to believe what you were hearing. 

But your laughter died down as a realization hit you. "Wait a minute. You liked me before all this?" Sirius just nodded, as if such a revelation wasn't important.. "So why were you being such a jerk to me?"

"It was fun, it's very easy to get on your nerves." He shrugged. "Plus, you look adorable when you're angry."

[crzyimp]

Cannonball!

Lego Monkie Kid

Arthur's note: Short drabble or snippet for the journey to the west discord summer event, almost 600 words and humor. Like before inbox is open for ideas or suggestions for Jttw/and adjacent (like lmk) for me to potentially write. Enjoy the story and tell me what you think. :3

Edit: My partner in crime for the event @breadnabreadd made this lovely art work here

Laughter,chatter, and all joyful sounds felt music to his old ears. He really need to thank Mei for inviting him and the others to her family’s home for a pool party. The heat and humidity were becoming unbearable, and he felt tempted to ‘ask’ Princess Iron Fan for her magical fan again. Thank goodness for that he got the invite first, or it would’ve been awkward with Red Son during the party; he certainly doesn’t want to repeat some chapters from a certain book or call Guanyin again (he’s still trying to repay them for all they have done for him).

Wukong let out a content sigh as his body slumped further into his inner tube, all four hairy limbs dipped into the refreshing cool water as the fiery sun beat down on him. The lounge chair was preferred if it wasn’t for all the racket around it; Pigsy tongue lashing at Tang while he cooks everyone’s lunch, Sandy in lifeguard mode with Mo as his furry whistle, and-

“Pool noodle?! Did you just call me a pool noodle?!” Golden eyes lazily turn their gaze to the owner of the voice, Mei in her swimwear and expatriate with closed fists at her sides.

“It’s only fitting,” Red Son exclaimed, pushing up his glasses as if the answer was obvious.“I don’t think I need to explain it.”

“Well, can you?!” Mei takes a step forward with her teeth bare at him.

“Learned it from my friend,” Red Son explains with arms crossed.

“Wait, you have a friend? Since when?” She asks curiously with squinted eyes.

“I talk to other people, you know.” in a matter of fact tone, his nose up in the air.

Tuning out that conversation, Wukong closes his eyes as he basks in the sun and the water below. No fights, no world ending events, no demons attacking, and certainly no Six Ear Macaque to ruin such a relaxing day. There is even a shade in the middle of the pool! Such a relaxing day it is. Wait, there shouldn’t be a shade here-

~~~

Sandy couldn’t believe his eyes. Mk full sprint to, clearly broken a rule, and jumped into the pool to do a cannonball only for a shadowy portal to swallow him up and spit him out higher than he should be, dead center to where Wukong is at. Neither of the two even notice it!? And shouldn’t the great sage hear Mk’s shout or was the old celestial monkey tuning everyone out?! Why wasn’t anyone following the rules!? It doesn’t matter now, as Sandy watched all of this in slow motion before his very eyes.

Mk landed on Wukong’s torso; before the two sank to the bottom of the pool, the splash created went everywhere. No one was safe; Pigsy and Tang toppled over each other like their college days at the beach, Mei and Red Son in the goofiest pose Sandy ever saw and not even Macaque. When the bastard popped his head in to make a snarky comment, the splash got him too and made him look like a soggy pathetic rat. The sole dry survivor was none ever than Mo, with claws deep into Sandy’s head as the cat clinged on with dear life; the water only got up to Sandy’s neck thankfully, and he was ready for it, but it really hurt and he wished Mo retracts his claws.

Finally, there at the center with a nearly empty pool was the shellshocked duo with Mk still in Wukong’s lap.

So much for a relaxing day.

[ruanais]

A ANOUNCEMENT !!! EDITED : I’m not gonna deactivate it cause I just realised I’m too attached to this blog help-

hello !! I’m here to make a important announcement <3 so !! okay this might come as a shock, but I will be leaving @/ruanais ( a few days later cause I need time to clean things up ) !! T-T I’m really sorry but I simply don’t have the time or dedication to this blog anymore :( every single one I’ve ever met on this account was rlly nice esp my mutals and I’m so glad I got to meet every one of you <3

@silverbladexyz : gosh, we’ve been mutals for quite a while Huh ? I’m so grateful to you even tho we don’t rlly talk much anymore sihdjsjdjsjahhsjsj thank u for being with me after all this time !! :D

@justcallmesakira : we haven’t talked tooo much but I’m happy to have met you !! your works are amazing and I hope you’ll continue to grow <3 mwah !

@yuukimiyas : I’ve always looked up to you as one of my favourite writers so imagine my surprise when you followed me !! :0 your posts always make me rlly happy !! :D

@chuuyrr : I’ve always loved ur chuuya’s fics and they’re just so ??????? they’re my meal for three times a day Frfr !! :3

@sinmalssimp : raven, I’m really proud of you for being able to be so strong <3 you’re going amazing and I hope you’ll have a amazing life !!

@yuutx : thank u for being my mutal for so so long as well !!!!! you’re such a nice and kind person and you’re like a younger sister to me <3

@gojoath : cella !! omfg ur one of the people who managed to get me back into jujutsu kaisen T^T ur works r absolutely gorgeous and ur yuta series ?!?!???? chef’s kiss -///-

@vrachis : one of my og mutals ever since I started tumblr ! :3 also thank u for getting me into v tubers cause now im watching their streams whenever I can LMAO

@aureatchi : you and red are never ever going to beat the twin allegations tbh, even the abilities u suggested to me were the same so :3 and even ur names are similar :0 anyways ! rev, thank u for being my mutal !! you’re genuinely so so so nice and T^T ur like a younger sister to me as well <3

@cheriiyaya : red, you’re just like reverie so it’s like copy and paste except that youre more chaotic and I love your energy !!! i always laugh whenever I see ur url cause of that meme- fjdjjsjskjsj lol but you’re a younger sister too so !!! :D but yeah, I loved having convos with u !! you’re such a easy perosn to ramble to and thank you for listening to my thoughts that make no sense whatsoever !!

@rusmii : ruru !! firstly !! congratulations on 600+ honey !! you’re almost there to 1k aahhh !! we haven’t talked much but you’re such a nice person as well :(

@culturity : kady, ur such a sweetheart tbh and I always feel happy whenever I see ur posts on my dash <3 I hope that everything goes well for you in life cause you deserve it !!

@m0uchie : EMI !! you’re rlly nice and I light up whenever I see u in my inbox or notifs sjsjsbsksjjssjs I rlly wished we talked more tbh :( but we still had fun together <3

@riiwrites : riri you’re one of the people I’m closest to on tumblr and I’m so so happy I got to meet such a amazing and kind person as u !! thank u sm for everything honey !!

@beasalmeh : okay !! you’re a rlly chaotic and goofy person that I love to talk to !! seeing your messages always make my day and it’s so fun to have a conversation with you :D

@dazaisslave : ichika, you’re such a sweet friend to me and I dont and never did deserve someone like you :( thank u for everything <3

for the other mutals I didn’t add cause I’m a lazy fuck or we didn’t talk much or just became mutals so I don’t know anything abt u or we are mutals but we haven’t talked in a long time so it would be awkward + my dear followers : thank you as well ! all of you helped me in my growth as cringy as it sounds lmao sibdjshsjsjdj I could never ever have gotten to 100+ followers without u guys and I’m genuinely gonna miss u guys so fucking much :(

— ur dearest rua <3

also u guys, surprise announcement I’m not single anymore <: ur girl rua got a bf !!!!!! ahem !! but yeah !! hehe :3 I fulfilled one of my dreams !!!!!!! :D I CAN FINALLY TELL MY FRIENDS IM SOMEONE WHO GETS BITCHES 😍 /j

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[topgunreacts]

please share your thoughts on canon ice with the peanut gallery. character analysis i beg of you. this funky little guy has been shaking in my parlor like a sopping wet chihuahua and i cannot understand him by God. break him down for me. explain him.

what are your thoughts. feelings. complaints, concerns. rude remarks. who is Iceman what’s he about

Omg I'm so bad at these. Please take everything I say with a grain of salt. I will try my best. My real character dissertations are in my stories.

Thots

Tall

Moist

I don't give a shit what color his eyes are; it's running gag of mine (and only funny to me) to switch up his eye color between stories

Stop wearing sunglasses indoors

Great bone structure in the fingers

Fuckable but not by me

Misunderstood

Gum problem

So fucking tired

Incredibly bad at talking about his feelings. So bad. But god he tries his best to make Maverick feel better after Goose goes to the Untitled Game in the sky.

Too smart for his own good

Afraid of emails

Home of sexual

Every time I give him anxiety, I also give him a huge cock as a consolation prize. It's what he deserves.

Could use a good consensual caning. He could learn from Chance Engagement Ice.

Goes to bed at 9 PM

From California or Hawaii or Michigan or Canada or somewhere, a place definitely, with a location that is real

Is NOT a rule follower. Look at his fucking hair. He says YO to Viper. He is unapologetically Doing His Own Thing. Werk.

Concerns

Iceman is regarded as a shallow villain-antagonist by many people. This is very silly. Just because Maverick is The Hero doesn't mean he's right about everything or that what he does is justified. Each and every time Ice calls Maverick out on his behavior, he's (1) correct and (2) motivated by a desire to go home alive at the end of each day. Maverick IS dangerous. He IS unsafe. His behavior SHOULD be regarded with suspicion re: his intentions by his supposed allies. These people are flying around in high-speed metal triangles. Have you ever seen the end result of a mid-air collision between aircraft that AREN'T going mach speeds? Here is an example! [image depicts plane crash debris, no bodies, but...nobody survived this] [TCAS wasn't invented until after the 1956 Grand Canyon collision!!!!!] The DC-7 was the faster jet in the incident, with a max speed of 406 mph (653 km/h, 353 kn). Those little regional jets you might have flown on for short domestic hops can hit speeds of 600 mph in the modern era. A Tomcat, remember, can go supersonic. Ice would become confetti. I'd fucking say something, too!

At no point does Ice come across as cruel when he makes these comments about Maverick's performance, also. He shit talks (cough cough bullshit) but it always struck me as standard issue locker room talk crap. It's not Personal. He's not trying to throw Maverick off his game or anything. Ice isn't there to make FRIENDS he's there to WIN is at TOPGUN ready to do his job and kick ass. And he also, you know, wants to survive to graduation without getting slammed [aerially] by the guy who thinks it's fun to break aviation regulations over an ACTIVE AIRFIELD. People like to compare Ice to Hangman in terms of attitude. A lot. And Ice is not even remotely like Hangman. Asking Maverick whose side he's on after Maverick demonstrates careless piloting--behavior that directly endangers Ice and others--is not the same thing as bringing up somebody's dead dad as like, a dig.

Feelings

Spoonable.

Val Kilmer's little mole is cute.

Complaints

Needs more gay

Needs more lines

Needs more ass shots like the ones Miranda got in Mass Effect 2*

Rude Remarks

Take off your fucking shades in tha club, you absolute square.

*(Did you know the person who made the ME2 mod to remove Miranda's ass shots made a mod for the legendary edition to re-add the ass shots? The studio took out the ass shots on their own for legendary. To be modern and corporate-approved feminist or something. And this modder was like no. Only I can do that. They took Miranda's ass out of this world and they're going to put it back in.)

Conclusion

pussy shot.

[gendercensus]

Twitter vs. Mastodon

Just in case anyone was curious about how well Twitter is doing these days:

Even though Mastodon has about a fifth fewer boosts than Twitter has RTs, Mastodon is bringing about as many participants as Twitter. For context, I have been posting a little bit on each since the survey opened, but more on Mastodon than Twitter. Also, in the survey itself participants are invited to help promote the survey, and links are provided for both the promotional tweet on Twitter and the promotional post on Mastodon.

Usually the number of RTs the promotional tweet gets follows a pattern much like the survey participation itself. The first two days or so are the most intense, and then it gradually declines over the rest of the month. I'd expect to get about half (or maybe over half) the total RTs within 48 hours, I think?

So, for context, last year's promotional tweet currently has 2,983 RTs and 122 QTs, and by now I'd expect this year's tweet to have at least a third of the RTs and QTs it'll have by the end. It's 27 hours since the survey opened, and the Twitter promotional tweet has 600 RTs and 29 QTs, which would theoretically end up being something like 1,800 RTs and 87 WTs. That's a drop in engagement of about a third, in less than a year.

I'm curious because all of this rubbish with Elon Musk has been continuously kicking off since November 2022, and it was already starting to get tumbleweedy on Twitter before I stopped using it in a personal capacity (around when Andrew Tate's and Donald Trump's accounts were reinstated). It's truly impressive seeing how quickly and how dramatically Twitter is becoming politically and ambiently even more awful than it was, not to mention the increase in bugs and loss of functionality. Despite its many flaws I did actually genuinely like Twitter pre-Musk, and its degradation puts me in a state of near-wordless awe. It's sort of morbidly hilarious.

The Gender Census Twitter account currently has 3,269 followers. I seriously considered announcing that I would no longer be using the account, but if there are people who only know about the Gender Census via the Twitter account that'd be pretty unfair on them.

So, I will continue to use both accounts, but when Mastodon is ahead by a significant amount I will close the Twitter account.

~

PS: Take the gender census survey if your gender is a bit interesting! It closes no sooner than 9th May 2023. :)

~

Edit 2023-04-15: This year, the TERF influx is coming from Twitter rather than the usual Facebook, which I think is also quite telling.

[nalu-gifs]

Well, folks,

I have made...*so* many gif sets to worship our beloved NaLu. I don’t even know how many. But, as of today, we have reached the end of the queue (I imagine some of you guessed as much; the string of finale gifs was intentional 😛).

I started this blog on February 21st, 2022. I’m not actually sure what motivated me to do it, but I figured it would be a dumb little thing I’d work on for a couple months then move on. I figured, how long can I *really* keep up daily gif posts for a single ship?

Yet here I am, nearly a year later. I’ve made nearly 500 posts (not all gif sets, but almost!!) I have nearly 600 followers.

This silly little blog has been such a lovely source of enjoyment for me this past year. It’s so awesome to connect with people from across the world, sharing our love for a series and its characters. I’ve engaged with a fandom in a way I never have before, and I’m both grateful for it and sorry I never did this when I was younger. It’s worth noting that this journey has also led me to discover a love of reading and writing fanfiction--not to be dramatic, but that’s been life-changing. Like, how did I reach my 30s without getting into fanfiction??!

Am I walking away from this blog? Of course not! There will be gif reruns, some of which will feature community tags and comments. There will be fanfiction. There will be art. And, eventually, there will be 100yq gifs (if it ever drops!!! reeeee). This wasn’t meant to be a farewell post, but rather a sappy thank you to the community.

Oh, I will also be accepting gif requests moving forward! Surely I’ve missed moments here and there. Surely there’s edits people want. More on that later, in a separate pinned post.

Thank you, Hiro Mashima, for creating this world and these characters that are so easy to love. Thank you, animators, for bringing the story to life.

And thank YOU, NaLu and greater FT community, for being you! Let us continue to be kind to one another, create art, and enjoy fandom together.

[nine-blessed-hero]

Warning: this will be abit rambly, because it's working through a problem.

I very rarely talk about my writing process, because it rarely fails me, and I hardly ever find myself in a conundrum like this.

So my process is: day dream, concoct story bones, put words on 'paper' per instinct, edit, SPG check, post. A lot of what I do is 100% 'pantsed' because I follow my writer's instinct, which is usually correct; not to get too metaphysical, but the story tells me how it needs to be written.

Except, I've let my internal biases take over in this one case and I know don't know what I should do with the resulting half-story.

Just over a year ago, an Anon sent an ask to @/jiubilant with a request for a fic about Ancotar, the antagonist in Oblivion's Zero Visibility quest. It should be noted that while I did make a vague comment in a reblog about having a go at a fic with Ancotar, I never made any explicit promise and I doubt anon ever saw it anyway. So it's not exactly like I'm beholden to anyone except myself to write this. But I will, because it's a WIP to check off the list and I'm stubborn like that.

So the problem: Ancotar is an Altmer - a 'High Elf'. Across many franchise, High Elves are depicted as being 1. Better Than Everyone Else, and 2. Arrogant and Egotistical about Being Better Than Everyone Else. 3. Point 1 & 2, when involving mages, are 10x worse. I dislike arrogant people: I dislike High Elves: I've written Ancotar as a prick.

Ancotar needs to not be a prick, because this is that Anon's fave character. But that Anon is may never even read this fic... But there's still a chance they might and I don't wanna be That Guy.

This fic is using the TESFest prompt 'Curse/ Confession', so the original idea was: K'Rin, being predominantly a mage, would be returning Ancotar's ring of protection after the quest ends, they would have a discussion, Ancotar would confess something (my notes suggest this might have had something to do with his leaving the University grounds), ???, wrapped up in a pretty bow the end.

What's happening is: K'Rin returns ring, Ancotar starts going off on how the pursuit of knowledge is a curse, because it alienates one from 'normal' people (the 'peasantry' in Aleswell). K'Rin does not like this, metaphorically having 'champion of the common man' tattooed on her soul. Ancotar lays in on alchemy being a plebeian school (as K'Rin's father did), tells her she should aim for a more scholarly magic school (as her father did). They're winding up for, at best, a screaming match, and at worst, a wizard duel - K'Rin having unresolved trauma about her choice of magic school, stemming from Soliril 'Rue being a colossal prick about it (and other things, but that's another story).

...This was not the brief. This is as far from the brief as Blackmarsh is from High Rock.

My options seem to be:

Stop here. Delete last 600 words. Start again from the top. Never let current iteration see the light of day.

Continue & post & hope Anon never sees fic.

Finish current iteration. Immediately start on new, similar fic which fits the brief.

Abandon fic premise entirely. Do not pass go, do not collect £200, do not write story at all.

I think I'm erring towards (1), but I am very fond of the 300 word rant about how wizardry is a curse...

...dammit I still haven't come to a solution

[threephantomrey]

i can’t believe next month is gonna be 5 years since i first made my fan account on instagram (May 20th is the anniversary)

like, not to get emotional about an instagram account, but it really meant a lot to me, and i didn’t think about that as much until it got hacked on January 24th 2022 and i lost all my edits, memes, and posts on there and my 600+ followers and all of the DMs that i cherished, etc.

idk man it’s just… i had that account since before i really started finding myself. i was a different person living a different life back in 2018. i remember i was a big Shaphne stan when i first made the account. i wasn’t hyperfixating on 13 Ghosts yet, didn’t like Fraphne yet, hated Fred for no reason, (wasn’t vocal about that online though) didn’t like Scooby Dum yet, etc. a lot of the Scooby opinions i had back then were wayyyy different from the ones i have now.

i had that account for such a long time (almost 4 years) and i met so many great people on there and made some of my favorite posts on there that i wished i had saved so i could show you guys. i changed so much within the time period i had that account, and my account also changed too. like i remember i had a Riverdale phase (it’s okay you guys can start booing me LOL) so in November 2018 after i made the account into my art account where i would post my art for a few weeks, i turned it into a Riverdale & Scooby Doo fan account. i changed the username to river_dale.scoob.fan.acc, and the account would be a Riverdale & Scooby Doo fan account for 3 years (with one username change to scooby_dale in August 2019) and then i made it into just a Scooby Doo fan account in December 2021, changing the username again to threedaysscooby.

but it was really fun. despite the fact that there are some things i regret, i loved having a fan account. i did find out what was done to my account after the situation in November 2022. and i remember when i DM’d the hacker on my personal insta to try to get it back the night i got hacked, they were like “send me $400 then” and they said all my friends were going to hate me if i didn’t pay so i eventually gave up and just let them have it because i knew i wasn’t getting it back and didn’t want to fight with some random person online about it. and after the situation, i lost all motivation to do anything for months because i was devastated and couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. and that situation was why i had to change my username to threephantomrey on everything because i didn’t want anyone thinking that was me behind the account anymore since i said i was threedaysrey in the bio of that account.

[zablife]

congratulations again babes! 600 is so so amazing! you absolutely deserve it 🥳❤️

for the celebration can i send in a cheeky ☎️ for luca as your professor? that might just me being 🥵🔥 for him but mull it over in your minds isle for a bit 👀 ty!

Professor Luca Changretta (Warning: dark content, abuse of power)

*He always wears perfectly tailored suits to class and you never see a hair out of place. He has impeccable manners and demands his students follow a strict code of conduct as well.

*He is a soft-spoken man who never raises his voice. However, everyone knows his words carry weight. 

*Some people speak in hushed whispers that his family is linked to the mafia, but these are only rumors. Perhaps this is why his classes fill so quickly. 

*Or perhaps it is due to his reputation as a respected member of his field. He has published several important papers which is an impressive feat for someone so young.

*It’s his most recent work that draws you to his lectures, beckoning you to the front row to catch every carefully chosen word that falls from his mouth. You can’t help but stare with puppy dog eyes and pepper him with questions. You worry that perhaps you’re over eager and annoying, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

*From this vantage point you notice his habit of gesturing eloquently with his hands, showing off a multitude of tattoos. Sometimes despite your best efforts to focus on his words, your mind drifts to the significance of the dark ink marking his olive skin. His aura of mystery is intoxicating. 

*One day after class you notice Professor Changretta standing over you as you pack your bag. As you realize you’ve been left alone to suffer his hawk-like stare in silence, you stop all movement like an animal caught in a trap. He smiles slowly as he asks “How do you like America?”

*From that day on he takes an interest in you, knowing exchange students have a difficult time with homesickness. He asks you to dinner in his home with a few other students. Plying you with wine and plenty of personal questions, you wonder if this is typical American curiosity or if you detect something more. 

*He is unusually attentive showing kindness and patience as he offers extra help with your assignments. Sitting close by your side as he helps edit your last paper, his hand brushes yours ever so slightly every time he moves to add a correction and you swear you hear his breath hitch. 

*Other students begin to notice the professor's fondness for you and it provokes their jealousy. After a student called Mark makes unkind comments about you, you notice his absence in class the following week. When you inquire about Mark, you learn he's in hospital with a badly broken leg, although no one knows how it happened.

*Professor Changretta is appalled to learn you don’t have proper attire to wear for your final presentation. “My uncle is the finest tailor in New York,” he boasts. Not wanting to offend him, you allow him to take you there, but insist on paying for the garment. 

*As you change behind the curtain you hear an ominous exchange, "Just like the last young thing he took a liking to, you remember how that ended...such a pity."

*When classes end, you visit your professor one last time to say goodbye. "Goodbye?" he says with an amused smirk. "No, not yet. Seems your final paper was plagiarized so you fail my class. It looks as though you'll be staying in the States with me a little longer while we work this out," he informs you gleefully.

"I don't understand, you advised me on that paper, sir," you say in a shaky voice.

"I did, didn't I?" he says, pretending to remember suddenly. "You know, it's dangerous to be so honest, but I think you'll learn that soon enough." He leans over his desk and takes your face in his hands, kissing you passionately. "Now lock the door, your study sessions start now. You'll come see me every day and do exactly as I say if you want to pass my class this time."

[modernistestates]

Bedroom insulation project

First, a grumble. Tumblr has changed the way posts are made, which means new post don't display on my website anymore. The only way I can make them show up is to work over old posts. Grrrrr. Why do they change things, it worked fine before!! So unless I can get someone to edit my custom Tumblr theme, this might need to be my last post for this blog.

Anyway, back to the matter in hand. I've been meaning to write up about the bedroom insulation project for ages, but what with being away and also trying to move to a new studio I haven't found the time to finish the job. However, the bulk of it is done, and as I am away again over the next couple of weeks, I thought I'd summarise the installation process so far.

So for the people who haven't been following the highs and lows of it on my Instagram, over the last couple of months, I've been tackling the issue of a very cold and very small bedroom.

I live in a late 1970s building by Benson and Forsyth. It's a modestly sized one-bedroom flat, but what the architects did to make the space feel bigger is add a split level and give the majority of the space to the living areas and compromise on the size of the bedroom. This doesn't bother me at all, apart from a bed and some drawers, what else does a bedroom need? The room, essentially a little cube, juts out from the rest of the flat meaning there are three external walls, it's also partially sunk into the ground. Additionally, above the ceiling is the pedestrian deck, so again, no insulation. All this amounts to a very cold room.

When I first moved in 2015 I just kept the heating on in that room the whole time, but it just seemed ridiculous to heat a room that I wasn't in during the day. And then, during the pandemic, I noticed little mould spots all over my mattress and wall behind the bed. Gross. I had to do something about it. Properly.

Over the last couple of years I started researching different insulating materials, but because of the size of the room (it's about 2.5 x 2.5m) I really couldn't afford to lose any wall space with regular insulation. I then came across Spacetherm WL made by Proctor. There wasn't much written about it when I first discovered it, but I've since found a BBC article that you can read it here.

This seemed ideal as it's only 13mm thick, and you can glue it directly onto the wall, plus you can do it yourself. You can download the installation guide here from their website, but here's what I learnt from the installation. I could have done some things better, so I hope you learn from my mistakes and this is useful.

First of all, if you can, clear EVERYTHING out of the room. I couldn't move my bed out and it was a pain to have to work around it, plus, the particles from the material are horrible. More on this later.

Step 1: It goes without saying, measure the walls and work out the amount of boards you need. I ordered them directly from Proctor. They were really helpful every time I emailed them with a question. The boards are 1200 x 600 mm, so are easy to handle for just one person. I'm no stranger to DIY I should say, but I do think most people could do this themselves. The boards are stuck on with Foam Glue, which I also ordered from Proctor. I underestimated the amount I needed but managed to get the same stuff from Screwfix.

Step 2: Get everything off the walls, obviously, including radiators. Obviously. I've done quite a bit of tiling in the past, so I treated this job in a similar way: I installed a batten at the bottom of the wall where I wanted the boards to sit and worked my way up with whole boards first. You need to spray the glue onto the furry side of the material in a zig-zag pattern. One thing to note is the thickness of the glue. Try and make this consistent otherwise it's difficult to get the adjacent boards flush (I had this issue, more on this later).

I haven't mentioned the material. Right. So essentially it's 10mm of Spacetherm aerogel insulation blanket — a weird feeling fibrous furry material, bonded to a 3mm Magnesium Oxide Board. I found it horrible to handle, and when I cut it, tiny tiny little fibres would end up everywhere, including my bed. They were like little tiny shards of glass. The instructions do say to wear PPE and seal the area you are working in if possible. I ended up having to cut it outside during the heatwave, so was wearing shorts — a mistake!

Step 3: Once all the full boards are in place, you need to measure and cut the boards to fill in the spaces. A friend lent me his Festool circular saw (thank you Huw), which as I mentioned I set up outside. He was worried about me damaging the blade, he needn't of worried, the material cuts very easily.

Oh, you’ll also need to make any holes for plug sockets etc. You can do this with jigsaw, although I was lazy and just drilled a series of holes and then punched the material out.

Also worth mentioning: when you install the panels in corners, you need to make sure the aerogel butts up, which means trimming off the 3mm boards. This was easy to do with the Festool. Proctor supply instruction for internal and external corners one their website here. 

Step 4:  So the gaps are now filled and all the walls are lined with the material. The instructions say you to tape and fill the gaps between the boards, prime it, paint it and you're done. Ha ha ha!! My advice is to ignore that. I could not get the boards to align next to each other completely perfectly. Unless you are really experienced, I don't think you will either, so in the end I decided to get them plastered. That meant ordering a different primer (at £100 a pop, ouch) and it delayed things by a week.

Step 5 and 6: Once the pot finally arrived, I was ready to go. I'd imagined a watery consistency which would take half an hour to do. But this stuff was weird. It's basically grit or sand, in a viscousy fluid which you have to paint on evenly with a paintbrush. So it took half a day, and the result — rough textured walls — reminded me of a Greek taverna. It stayed like this for a while until I managed to pin my plasterer down, who skimmed the whole thing last week.

Getting there…

Step 7: This weekend I managed to get three coats of paint onto the walls, and also get the furniture back in. I still need to sort out the skirting boards and repaint the woodwork, but the walls themself are done and are looking good! It really doesn't feel like it's eaten much into the space, which I was worried about. Of course, the proof will be when it starts getting cold, I'll be sure to update you on its effectiveness. Fingers crossed!

Photos in order: 1. Me 2. The bedroom once I’d removed most things off the walls and out of the room (I wish I could have moved the bed out) 3. Applying the foam glue to the back of the boards 4. Boards stuck to the wall 5. Festool circular saw, perfect tool for the job. Be careful of all the particles from the material. 6. Taping and filling the joints 7. Primer needed before plastering 8. Walls once primed 9. Applying first coat of paint once the walls were plastered 10. Second coat of paint applied

[graaythekwami]

The Little Things - ML One-Shot

(Spoilers for the season 4 episode Hack-San)

-------

"Out for a solo patrol, Chat Noir?"

Chat Noir jumped slightly, not quite use to hearing an unfamiliar voice up here on the rooftops, and turned. The figure was standing on a chimney a ways from him, the reds of her costume matching the setting sun.

"Scarabella?" Chat Noir said, looking at the temporary Ladybug heroine he had met the other day. His surprise quickly gave way to worry, eyes widening slightly. "Did something happen to Ladybug? Is there an akuma out right now? Is–"

Scarabella held up her hands, but didn't come closer. "No no no, everything is okay– I just wanted to talk to you, that's all, and Ladybug said you often did some patrols in the evening..."

He gave a tight smile, shoulders relaxing slightly. "Not really a patrol, not like what me and M'Lady do when we patrol. It's just... to get some fresh air, I suppose."

He was slightly startled when he turned and found Scarabella walking towards him, as he hadn't heard her steps. She had some papers in her hands, and an uncertain smile on her face. She paused a little ways away from him.

"Is it okay if we talk for a bit?" Scarabella asked. "I don't have a lot of time, and then I can leave you to your... 'patrol'."

"What's up?" Chat Noir asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. His feelings on Scarabella were... mixed. She was an ally and she had spirit, but he would be lying if he said there was no bitterness when he thought about her. About what she knew and why she was there.

"I... I wanted to just show you this," Scarabella said, holding up the papers in her hand, before carefully setting it down on the roof near him, before retreating back slightly. "I had to edit out a few 'tips' for identity reasons, and Ladybug doesn't know I'm showing this to you, but considering my sudden appearance I figured maybe it would help if you saw it."

Chat glanced at the papers, then back at the spare heroine. "I don't want to go behind Ladybug's back."

Scarabella blinked, then let out a small laugh. "Oh, no, no, it's not like it's something I can't show you. It's just the list of tips she gave me of how to be Ladybug while she was gone."

"Okay?"

Scarabella smiled. "Read them, would you? Please?"

Chat Noir looked at the papers, before carefully picking them up and unfolding them. Sure enough he found a list of 'tips', each one carefully numbered off. His eyes scanned down the list, noting a few numbers were missing, which must have been the editing she had been referring to.

Chat Noir's eyes jumped back up to the top, and began reading. He could tell right away that it was indeed written by his Lady, and he could almost hear her voice as he read.

Tip 1 - Keep the earrings in at all times, they are easy to misplace. DO NOT TAKE THEM OFF.

Tip 2 - Always have sweets for Tikki on hand.

Tip 3 - Not just for recharging if an akuma appears, make sure you have something she can snack on if she's hungry.

Tip 4 - No. Seriously. Holders know no fury like a kwami starved.

Chat Noir snickered, knowing fully well what she meant. His interactions with Tikki had been limited, and she had been a very sweet kwami. Ladybug told pretty much the same story... except for the times she didn't have cookies or macarons on hand for her kwami. It turned out the little Ladybug kwami was just as passionate about her sweets as Plagg was with his cheese.

Tip 11 - Tell Chat Noir what's going on right away if an akuma shows up. Since I wasn't able to talk my way into staying in Paris like I thought I didn't get time to tell him I was leaving.

Tip 12 - If you see Chat Noir patrolling at night don't worry, it doesn't mean there's an akuma or somewhere you need to take my place. My Kitty is a free spirit and Paris is our city.

Tip 13 - Leave out croissants for him if he happens to come by where you are on patrol.

Tip 14 - The chocolate covered ones are his favorite. Chat loves anything with passion fruit too.

Tip 15 - Chat Noir likes any kind of sweets, actually, but try to get him his favorites if you can.

There was a small smile on his face as he read, eyes carefully looking over each word, warmth in his heart. The tips soon drifted back towards things regarding the Miraculous, a good dozen involving Lucky Charms and explaining how the yoyo worked.

Tip 25 - Lucky Charms might be bigger than you think! Be prepared to leapt out of the way in case a piano comes crashing down instead of a pencil.

Tip 26 - Don't ask Tikki to explain Lucky Charms. She'll be vague and she'll do it on purpose.

Tip 27 - Don't try to force a Lucky Charm to work. It's just kind of instinctual? I don't know how to describe it.

Tip 28 - Ask Chat Noir for help if the Lucky Charm is too confusing. He's been Misterbug before and has helped me defeat villains with countless Lucky Charms.

Tip 29 - Just ask Chat Noir if you have any questions, he's a professional.

Tip 30 - Don't ask him so many questions though that you stress him out! Akuma fights are hard enough and with him being the most experienced he'll have enough to worry about without a bunch of questions.

Tip 31 - Just follow Kitty's lead, he knows what to do.

Tip 32 - Chat Noir has good instincts and enhanced senses, listen to him.

Tip 33 - When Chat Noir makes a joke try to laugh, even if you think it's not funny. It makes him happy. :)

"My jokes are always funny, My Lady!" Chat Noir exclaimed in protest, though there was a smile on his face.

Tip 34 - Make sure Chat Noir is happy.

Tip 35 - Don't make fun of his purring, he's self conscious about it even though it's adorable. (He embraces everything cat except for the purring, I don't know why.)

Tip 36 - Purring doesn't always mean he's happy! Cats can purr when they're hurt! If he takes a hit and you hear him purr then you got to defeat the akuma as quickly as possible! Sooner you can cast the Miraculous Ladybugs the sooner Chat Noir isn't hurting!

Tip 37 - Don't let Chat Noir take any hits for you.

Tip 38 - Seriously. He does that way too much and I don't like watching it. Stupid self-sacrificing cat. Make sure he stays safe.

Tip 39 - Or else.

"These aren't even tips at this point!" He said, holding back a laugh.

"She does that a lot," Scarabella said with a fond smile. "With 675 'tips' a good chunk of them are ramblings."

"Six hundred and what-?" Chat said, quickly flicking through the papers and towards the end. Sure enough the very last one stared back up at him, the same number as Scarabella had promised.

Tip 675 - When you say "Miraculous Ladybug" don't forget to throw the Lucky Charm.

He flicked back a few more pages, eyes scanning the various notes that had been left. Many were just like he had expected when Scarabella had first told him what the list was: advice on what to do with different types of akumas, how the timer worked, tips for finding the akumatized object, and what to say to a victim after they were freed from Shadow Moth's control.

But then there were others, small little mentions of him and things he hadn't even realized his Lady knew or noticed, things he didn't know people cared about.

Tip 142 - If Chat Noir is dismissive with how his day has gone crack a few jokes. He tries to cover up when he's had a bad day and this is the best way to lift his spirits.

Tip 143 - Chat Noir loves hugs. Quick hugs, tight hugs, long hugs, he adores them.

Tip 144 - Chat likes to be scratched under the chin and behind his faux ears. It makes him purr, but don't mention the purring (see tip 36).

Tip 145 - Chat Noir is a cuddler.

Tip 146 - Ignore all the last few tips. Respect Chat Noir's personal space.

Tip 147 - But don't be distant either, support him! Fist bumps, pats on the back, you know, be friendly.

Tip 148 - You better be nice to my Kitty. I'll be watching all akuma coverage.

Tip 149 - No booping Chat Noir on the nose. That's our thing.

Tip 150 - No bonking him with the yoyo, carrying him in your arms, or using the nicknames 'chaton' or 'kitty', again those are our things, not yours.

Tip 151 - You can use the nicknames 'Chat' or 'CN'.

Tip 152 - He may kiss your hand. Chat Noir is a gentleman, don't let the costume fool you.

"M'lady..." Chat Noir said softly.

Tip 355 - Let Chat Noir handle the media, he's a pro at that.

Tip 356 - Don't leave him alone to deal with all the reporters though, that's a lot of pressure.

Tip 357 - Chat's ears and tail can tell you a lot about how he's feeling. I've read a lot of cat behavior articles and it's helped me a lot.

"Hey!" Chat Noir protested, even though his Lady wasn't here to see it.

Tip 598 - If anyone makes any comment about Chat Noir being dangerous or being a sidekick, you don't hold back.

Tip 599 - If it's a reporter that makes this comment give me their name and who they work for so I can make sure they never get an interview from the heroes again.

Tip 600 - Send Chat Noir a cat meme on the yoyo to cheer him up if anyone does say anything about him.

"I need to go," Scarabella said softly. "Feel free to keep those, I... I just wanted you to know that she was thinking about you. You mean a lot to her, Kittycat."

Chat Noir looked up at Scarabella, vision blurring slightly, but a smile was on his face. "I don't think 'Kittycat' was on the list of approved nicknames, Scar."

Scarabella scowled. "Well I can tell you that one isn't on my list of approved nicknames either."

Chat Noir grinned. "I'm sure it will grow on you."

"Purrhaps," Scarabella said, before giving a salute and a smile. She then tossed her yoyo, swinging away. Chat Noir watched her for a moment, before looking back down at the list he had been given.

He smiled, holding the papers close to his chest as he laid down on the roof, letting out a happy sigh.

[melaningifs]

Woo ! The Melaningifs Tumblr 500+ Follower celebration event ! Not a contest cause I’d never choose you guys over each other :’0 it’s all for funsies so no pressure!

🌸 Whats the event & How to participate

The objective of the event is to 🥁🥁🥁

Make an edit of yourself! What do I mean by that? Take a character from an anime/animated show or comic/manga and use the character to represent yourself ! Here’s an example of some I did for me !

I chose a base character with short hair and glasses because I also have short hair (naturally) and glasses, so I changed the color of the hair suit mine and my glasses are black so I changed that as well and ofc I gave her my skin tone !

Click here for an old editing tutorial of mine

It was made for how I make black edits but the skill set can be applied to editing other things like hair and etc, layer modes, colors and opacity are the key !

here’s another example I did !!

I found that manga is SUPER easy to edit, first edit ever was a manga actually but I’ve only done it twice up until now 😭 damn she looks a whole lot like me actually lmao if anyone wants to make fanart of me here ya go lmao !

🌸 Tips for editing Manga pages

- For manga changing colors is super easy just make sure you use a separate layer to color on it and change the coloring layer to multiply so that the outlines of the manga are visible

-If you want to change the color of an area that’s gray (for example the shirt) make a new layer and switch the layer mode to color and you should be good ! -Be sure to lower the opacity if the colors feel too harsh for you ! -If you want to change the hair color it’d be best to choose a manga character who’s hair isn’t black so that you can fill it in !

🌸 Rules !

you can make as many edits as you’d like and submit as many times as you like ! (I’d love to see what y’all make!)

Tag me ( @melaningifs ) and tag your submissions with #mel500 so I can see!!

There’s no deadline! Submit whenever you feel like !

Anyone of any identity/race/ethnicity/color etc can join ! please don’t feel left out just because you’re not black as well xD you’re all welcome here ! (as long as you don’t fall under my dni of course!)

Only represent an identity that is your own ! don’t make someone else, you’re making yourself only !

Don’t use other people’s fanart or original artwork ! use official works please !

Ask me if you need help ! Something you’re not getting or struggling to do? I’m here to help you out ! My askbox is always open for questions ! 🌸 Rewards

all I can really offer are edits lmao, everyone that participates can get a request slot ! It can also be fully customizable (to the best of my abilities) this includes hair color, eye, color and things like that, I’m trying to practice those for potential commissions in future but that’s tmi, if you don’t want of that it’s totally fine I’m just grateful you participated !

🌸 Extra Notes

when I get a good amount of submissions I’ll make a post compiling all of them like when your parents put your drawings on the fridge as a kid (atleast I think that’s what they do- I wouldn’t know 💀)

wowowow thank you all for 580+ followers?! IK it’s a 500 event when we’re literally almost at 600 💀 it’s exclusive here on tumblr because y’all interact with me the most and it’s super fun interacting with all of y’all ! I might post this on Twitter too we’ll see how it goes ! If you do plan on participating thank you !! I’m so excited to see what you make !! Have a wonderful day y’all ! 💌

[yostresswritinggirl]

Alatus' Weakness

Even the strongest, mightiest men carry with them their ultimate weakness. And when it is under the wrong hands, their power won't be enough to prevent them from crumbling... What is it? What was it that the Evil God took hold of that forced him to serve his evil deeds for years?

Pairings -> Alatus x Reader (Xiao)

Word Count -> 1350

Themes -> You won't find happiness here.

Series -> #SojournerSpecials (600 Followers Event)

Warnings -> This is punishment for Xiao forcing me to whale for him. As well as the Oceanid anons. (EDIT: THIS HAS MADE PEOPLE CRY, PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)

The Yaksha of the wind dances in fluid whirlwinds as the breeze makes its rounds over the plains, his lightness barely wrinkles the green grass underneath his uncovered feet as the robes he dons flutters behind him.

It was so beautiful, he looked so ethereal.

And when his spear finally settles in a sharp swing, the force manifests into harmless gusts that sweeps the pasture for a second before straightening up again. Alatus had always been an agile dancer. And everyone in the village knows of this.

He offers a slight bow and a smile upon your loud clapping, so giddy of the exclusive performance that you were lucky to witness. It was a treasure that every local wishes to see beyond the battles he fights. Men and women alike yet out of them all it was you who was graced with this blessing.

"Beautiful as always, Alatus!" Your wide smile was infectious and his grin grows the closer he comes to you, arms finding its way around your waist and across your back in a soft hug. The giddiness continues as you turned into a giggly mess from his special affection, reciprocating with a tackle of a hug.

"Did you miss me that much?" He was answered by wordless nuzzles to his chest, making him chuckle and pull you closer.

Alatus was a great and powerful spear dancer, and he had been protecting the village you two reside in ever since. Gods and beings trekked the world commonly and it was too dangerous even for stationary communities. More so for those who lack the Vision to fight in the first place.

He was one, if not the only one capable enough to protect everyone. And many times he would go beyond the parameter to exterminate threats before they became an issue. Most of the time he disappears for a while during this expedition and then return triumphant as the village people greet him and praise him for his hardwork.

But at the end of the day, he settles down in your quiet home where he engulfs you protectively in his arms. There you two would exchange your tales during the span of his expedition, and he would indulge you in a showcase of his dances as compensation for his absence. The highlight of your day.

"There seems to be higher activity in the surrounding territories regarding monsters and Gods," he introduces the topic as he picks up the nian gao with wooden chopsticks, munching the soft treat as you poured a cup of tea to match the snack. "The other villages are asking me to patrol their parameters for a few days to at least clear some of them."

"There's been disturbances around here too," you worriedly chewed at your own snack as you two sat by the veranda of your home, watching the whole of the village from your spot over the cliff. This must be one of the reasons he liked staying here too, an easy access and overseer to the whole area for his duties.

Alatus hums in agreement but continues eating. The way he chews his meal was a telltale sign that there's a worry gnawing at the back of his head. And you had the same worry, except much lighter than his.

The growing tension between the Gods of Teyvat spurs on more turmoil at the news of Celestia's sudden challenge over the archons. And with such offers and desperation, powerless humans and villages had been wiped recently courtesy of the war.

It was a matter that didn't really bother him nor the village, but somehow it came back to him tenfold in multitudes of worry. He has a gut feeling. But Alatus cannot make himself turn away from the pleas of the people that call his name for saving grace.

"Come home soon," your smile snapped him back to reality upon knowing that he wouldn't just leave the other villages behind.

Yet when he left, there was still a gnawing anxiety at the bottom of his stomach.

Alatus for once... had lost his grace for in his hand his spear shakes in unspeakable fear. In front of him beyond the cliff's edge is the blazing ruins of a village he protected for years, day and night diligently. Monsters and men ravaged what's left and he tries to push away the guilt of ignoring them when he rushed immediately to his home.

To where his home should be.

"Alatus," the towering figure turned around to face him and his pupils dilated at the image, muscles flexing to dash when its hand raises in a motion to stop him, tutting mockingly at the warning. "Ah, ah, you wouldn't want them to die like this, would you?"

The being of pure evil had your unconscious form in its arms, a fight evident on your bruised and cut form as blood trickles from your forehead to the earth beneath. And on your head, the source of the wound, is a crown of thorns. He fights the urge to cry and vomit at the state you were in, at the state he could have prevented if he'd just STAYED.

"Please," his broken voice ghosted a smile on the God's face, "Please leave them alone."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Alatus' heart sinks at the refusal with his gaze unfocusing at the difference in power. "After all, they're the one I wanted in the first place, everyone else is just collateral damage."

From that point forward, to preserve the little life force you have, Alatus was under the grasp of the evil god. Under his command he razes the villages he once protected, eating the dreams of the humans that only wish to live in peace. His hands of grace grips his spear with the stains of blood as he kneels in front of the evil God, its name he didn't bother to remember anymore at this point.

It smirks at him while over its hand floats a cube only a few inches bigger. Your cell, where you're cooped up with only a glow of deep blue indicating your existence within it. When he misbehaves he hears cries of agony from it, when he does very satisfactory he even gets to hold it but only that.

The years of painful service had wiped off his smile and most of his memories. Alatus had already forgotten your voice and your face at this point, only the humans and beings he had killed comes to his memories.

Soon after, he has only known the cube to hold something dear to him, a weakness that is a precious one he could not risk. When he tries to remember, he's reminded of a vague visage and a sweet taste on his tongue. If he could cry now he would. It was one of the only good things in his mind now even tho its details continue to ebb away with his horrific deeds.

And finally, like a light that shines through the canopy of the overhead trees, a being mighty enough to contend his evil master comes down to end his suffering.

Rex Lapis, the Geo Archon, the one the evil god desperately tries to overthrow died in his hands.

It is done, all of it. No more innocent blood should stain his hands. "The cube this god possessed is a cell." What should he do now? There was no other place to come back to, maybe the You that resides in the cube had any ideas, to start over. That sounds like a good idea.

"Alatus, was it?" His head slowly picks up from the blank stare it had on the ground.

"Yes, Rex Lapis?"

"Do you know of the one who resides within this cube?" There was a hesitance in Rex Lapis' voice that passed through him.

"They are someone that I know."

"It seems... that human... has perished 200 years ago in this cell."

Alatus, like that last day in a ruined village, had lost his grace when he collapses to the ground. His weakness and his hope both gone.

Seems to me my writing has been short lately

@moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @kookieyachi @struggljng @bunniesrorange @anormalguyreader

[masterswrd]

Hannibal Fashion Meta Pt. 4

Now with sexy annotations.

In this installment we’re back to our favorite party vampire, my sweet Hannibal, who is a whole ass meal and always ready to please a crowd. So we’re going to be talking about his Event Looks.

Ya know, these are becoming less like metas and more like me sitting with you on your couch and pausing and pointing at the screen while I dump all this on you. But what matters most is my own happiness so here we are.

Let’s start in order with one of my favorite episodes, 1x07 Sorbet. Where we see Hannibal is a gorgeous double breasted midnight blue Brunello Cucinelli tux. It’s not bespoke, but honey if this is cashmere than this is probably $9000. If it’s wool than it’s closer to $5000 (which is what I estimate he pays for a lot of his bespoke suits).

Hannibal really isn’t the type of person to wear black, I’m pretty sure we never see him in a solid black suit. Black suits are very very formal and unless you’re at a black tie event or a funeral, a black suit is usually overkill. We know he likes to stand out. Blue is a very socially acceptable way to have some flair at a black tie event. It’s very main character of him. He’s also wearing french square cuffs on the shirt (the reason they look almost tear drop shaped around his wrists) which is why he’s wearing cuff links (you need french cuffs for cufflinks).

Hannibal doesn’t seem to wear cuff links very often. Only with tuxedos. On this evening, he pairs this with a $200 a blue silk Burberry bow tie.

Hugh Dancy used to model for Burberry and I lost an hour of work on this due to that little morsel of information.

The next even we see Hannibal at is his own dinner party later that episode. This shit is lux, baby.

This blazer is a dark dark green velvet Canali dinner jacket that I’m estimating to be around two to three thousand dollars. And hey listen. I tried so hard to edit these pics so you could see the green, but it’s the type of material in color where you’d really only see it in person. Canali is a luxury Italian brand that has a shop in Washington DC,which is probably the one Hannibal would go to in canon. There’s also a shop in Milano, Italy so Hannibal could’ve been a fan of this brand for a long time. Under the jacket we have a $600 Gucci button up. A paisley tie, not surprising with it being a staple to Hannibal’s taste, and a three-peak folded pocket square to finish off the look. King of pocket square folds. I love you.

With only one party happening in season two, Futamono is next. Now, I personally love this look but anytime people step up their formal wear with color, I go nuts.

This is a maroon velvet dinner jacket with silk lining and trim. The make is Etro, a very high end Italian fashion house that specializes in bold prints. It’s a gorgeous $1500 jacket, but I want to talk about the cravat. Cravats felt out of a fashion a long time ago (they were originally a military thing way back before aristocracy got a hold of it) and most people could NOT pull them off today. BUT that is only because people don’t modernize the look. People wear them too high on the neck and makes your whole outfit look outdated. But keeping it low to the open collar or using it to frame an open collar makes it look a million times better. This is just another example of Hannibal being a person who wears what looks good on him and not wearing things that follow certain rules. He can pull anything off it he puts his mind to it. If we wore crocs to the opera, everyone would be trying to do it the next day. He’s a trend setter and an icon.

Jumping to season 3, we have another black tie event. Everyone in the background wearing black and our man comes through with a gorgeous burgundy two-peice tuxedo. This is a unique bespoke peice by toronto based Italian master tailor, Nino Cioppa. Nino is the primary tailor for season 3 and he did a fabulous job, the talent JUMPED out. Molto bello.

The silk on the lapels are patterned and the same fabric is used to do an accent strip on the sides of the legs. Silk lapels are one trusty way you can tell between a suit and a tuxedo. Lovely lovely lovely. Not a plain tie either. It’s maroon silk with an embroidered square pattern. He’s also wearing french cuffs with mother of pearl Burberry cufflinks.

Another amazing suit in Antipasto is this baby, a beautiful chalkstripe emerald green three-piece suit. By FAR, one of my favorite outfits that he wears. Like the tux above, this is another bespoke original from Mr. Nino Cioppa.

The silk blue bowtie brings yet another pop of color. He does color matching and pattern matching very often and does it well. There’s a general rule of two that people follow where they will only wear two patterns at most having one be understated (the chalkstripe and stripes on the shirt in this case) and one being more attention drawing (the bowtie). Hannibal ignores this rule a lot and still looks amazing but this is a good example of the rule in action.

The biggest thing I want people to get out of these is that regular fancy people don’t dress like this. Hannibal Lecter is another plane of fashion. He’s avant-garde and ahead of his time. He is always wearing something fresh and showstopping. This person had to be THE TALK of the baltimore upper class. “What’s Dr. Lecter wearing?” “Who is your tailor?” “Oh my goodness, he’s stunning.” Nobody else is doing it like him and doing it so well. He dresses for the Met Gala everytime he pulls up to ANY function. Why should he be concerned out rules? Why should he be self-conscious or worried what other people think? Take his self confidence and apply it to your style. Wear that peice of clothing you bought but shoved back in your closet because you can’t bring yourself to wear it out. Hannibal will never hold back when he’s serving looks and neither should you.

In conclusion:

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[movietonight]

I got tagged by @thebreakfastgenie thank you so much 

1. Why did you choose your url? I am genderqueer and I think Klinger should be too

2. Any side blogs? This is a sideblog, my main is @salvadorbonaparte

3. How long have you been on tumblr? Since 2013

4. Do you have a queue tag? No but I do have a queue, have fun figuring out when I am actually active

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? In general? 2013 was a bad year for me and I needed a distraction. This sideblog though? I wanted to stop annoying the people who follow me for linguistics and languages with shit posts and fandom stuff

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? I saw this edit by @choppersincoming and thought it was very cute 

7. Why did you choose your header? I like the mash camp signpost it is so cute

8. What’s your post with the most notes? On this blog it is a post about  Przewalski's horses and cave paintings, on main the link to my 38GB MEGA folder full of textbooks (feel free to check it out or request books)

9. How many mutuals do you have? I have no idea

10. How many followers do you have? Around 600 on this one right now (I usually don’t check this regularly but I happened to see I was at 666 a couple of days ago and something around 680 yesterday or the day before so I guess some bots got purged again or people are just really really tired of me) 

11. How many people do you follow?

I have absolutely no idea and I know it is probably too many but I am too lazy to unfollow inactive blogs

12. Have you ever made a shit post? is there anyone on here who hasn’t?

13. How often do you use tumblr a day? Way too often, especially now during the pandemic, because there is just nothing else to do and I can’t see my irl friends

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog? I have gotten into very stupid discourse twice and I hated it. I try to avoid it but I can’t promise it won’t happen again

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts? I hate them stop guilt tripping people

16. Do you like tag games? Yes! It just usually takes me ages to actually do them because I mainly use tumblr mobile and I hate having to copy text on there

17. Do you like ask games? Yes! So Much! I also love random asks! I love talking!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I have no concept of this 

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? No I don’t think I’ve ever had an actual crush since middle school and even that is debatable

20. Tags!

uhhhh @mlmxreader @bowie-boy @scaredandbored @hedge-leather and anyone else who sees it and wants to do it