#EDIT yes it does. to me (avoiding doing my job)

[varreblogger]

i’m going to be honest the real enemy is people who saw a grown adult man using feminine speech/mannerisms and were like oh well that means i have to draw him soooo thin and tiny and waifish. obviously

[hot-patootiee]

I love the “Steve has good parents, they’re just not on camera.”

Mom edition

Dustin is crawling in through the window. He freezes halfway through the window when he makes eye contact with Steve’s mom.

“Sweetie who is this small curly haired child breaking into our house?”

“That’s Dustin.”

“Okay?”

“I’ve adopted him as my brother.”

“Hello new son?”

…

Steve’s mom comes home to find Joyce on her couch, Steve talking very excitedly to her.

“What’s Joyce doing here?”

“Hey mom, meet mom.”

“Two moms and you still can’t avoid getting concussed every year?”

“Neither of you are very good at your job.”

…

“Mom!” Steve’s mom turns at the voice and finds a small redhead looking at Steve.

“Yes Max?”

“Can you take me to the arcade?”

Steve groans, pulling out some of the allowance that his mom had just given him and handed it to the little girl.

“Lucas too?”

“Yes, now scram.”

“Mom?” Steve’s mom asks.

“I’m not sure how that happened either.”

…

Eddie shows up on their doorstep with a bunch of half burnt cookies.

“I’m here for Steve.” He says simply to the bewildered mother staring at him.

“Okay.” She turns back towards the inside of the house. “Steve your boyfriend is here.”

“Did Steve tell you?”

“No, but god does my boy have a type.”

[cardo-de-comer]

soo helloo and i think it's time for me to explain the deal with my characters and this whole "you're not supposed to be here" thing. EDIT: just fixed some stuff. thank you folks for your support, i really appreciate you all <3

i made these characters way back in june and by today they have a lot of lore around them in my head. i even have a dream to make a game with them but it's just a dream for now so i'm gonna try to explain the main things about this story. Obviously this is a long post, although I tried to keep this stuff short. and excuse me for my writing and any mistakes, I don't usually write this much text.

It starts with the world. Alternate 15th century, humanity is almost gone and what's left of it shares quite a big city with demons and angels. However, demons and angels are usually being treated like servants - eventually one gets tired of it all, so everyone knows an uprising is just around the corner. Let's just ignore that for now.

The City has a catch of it's own - it's alive. The walls have eyes and ears and the City knows every resident by heart and soul, both figuratively and literally. Usually City acts through the King, it chooses protectors for itself, ones who have strong minds to comprehend it - they will be called the royal knights, each of them have a company of a /more wiser than the rest of them/ demon and angel to help with their tasks. Only the King and ten royal knights know that the City is alive and very talkative but they don't understand fully what it's trying to tell them. Most of them choose to ignore the voices in their head because hey, that's what you do usually in this situation, otherwise they drive you nuts.

City is also extremely emotional and appearance depends on its condition. Usually it's a sunny day out and the city looks welcoming, but you don't want to be there when the City is scared: it might eat you alive by accident. Now that the environment is aside, time for the main three characters.

Imri is a young lad who will soon be a royal knight. He actually wanted to be a painter when he grows up but well, you cannot disobey the king's orders. Quite emotionless and a man of a few words, he tries to stay on a neutral ground between good and bad - a perfect candidate for manipulation to all three sides, demons, angels and the City.

look at him

Royal knights get to know their angel and demon companions at least a week before they get knighted to avoid any misunderstandings. Imri doesn't mind his friends at all, although one of them caused quite a fuss.

Angel /they name themselves Lyra/ is an overly positive, naive and blindly kind entity. A bit childish and very fond of justice, they try to act as a voice of conscience, not understanding that sometimes this can make everything even worse than it was. There is a feeling that they're trickier than it seems but you can never quite tell.

the latin text all over them is just a part of their design

The demon though... That's not even a demon, that's the Devil himself. Yes, everyone knows who this is, everyone avoids him and he's not supposed to be here at all. Despite being THE Devil, he didn't try to do anything horrific yet and, when he's not joking around, he tries to be the voice of reason, the voice that no one listens to. He seems to know a lot more about this whole world than anyone else but he talks about it only when he wants to.

no one likes him at all, expect maybe Imri who just tolerates his presence like he always does

That's the main three. There is a few secondary characters, Imri's father being one of them.

sir Jastrab /or just Dell/ is one of the royal knights, he's a bit naive, loyal, and a soul so kind that his demon hung himself. Oh well. He lost one hand in what he calls "a work accident" which is partly true but he never goes into details.

He never wanted for his son to be a part of the knights because he knows by experience that it's not an easy job and not every father wants for their child to go insane from the voices in their head.

few people said that the angel accompanying him looks like d20 and so be it

The others are Sun and Moon - local deities, despite being on the sky every day and night, usually they don't really care about what's going on down below. You can still talk to them but don't expect much action. Regardless of all this, they are still loved by almost all living things. They can rarely meet each other but humans always depict them together no matter what. Although maybe humans are right...

creators of the Stars - some part of a human soul that i can't talk about :)

Angels and demons come in all forms and sizes but those are the main population - lesser demons resemble the Devil in some ways and lesser angels look like clovers. Rivals usually but when the revolution happens, they learn to tolerate and work with each other. Humanity doesn't really have a chance.

they hate everyone equally And there is another being, that Imri meets a few times through the story - it's Death. Death is just having fun in this end of the world and there is a lot of work to be done.

this is an old and rough design so maybe it'll change The whole story begins at that day when Imri is supposed to be knighted. Everything seemed fine until Imri gets to hear the City for the first time and realizes that he hears and sees a lot more than everyone else. Completely overwhelmed he blacks out - even the toughest of minds often can't take it - and wakes up later only to find out that the King got killed somehow, angels and demons saw this as the starting point for a revolution and the City starts to panic.

Now Imri, guided by his companions and the voice of scared City that's crumbling and slowly drives him insane, shall travel to the center of it to find out what really happened, getting through demons and angels who are busy destroying the rest of humanity. Fun.

There is a lot more to this whole thing but I cannot tell the entire plot because spoilers, in case if i actually will make something out of this story. Think of it as a game lore. I'm not sure about making sth yet because i operate only on hopes and dreams and i barely have any strength lately but who knows... But now you have at least some context! And yeah, thank you if you actually read all of this, you're a hero.

Now i need to get back to drawing. Thank you all for your support. <3

[jinwoosbabyboo]

𝙸𝚜 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚍𝚢?

You're an actor and you finally got your big role in a hit TV show. Unfortunately your character only made it to Season 2 before they killed you off. This is how I imagine the lads men react to watching that scene [Requested by: Anon]

𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎

calm cool and collected on the outside; whole time he's really having an internal breakdown

grips your hand a little tighter in his as the scene progresses

“are you dying? is this a tragedy?”

is very aware that it’s just a show, but can’t stop his heart from pounding at the thought of losing you

rubs his eyes to keep himself from tearing up

stares at you after the episode ends “What?” “The thought of losing you has always terrified me; watching you perform that scene does not help” “it’s my job Zayne besides im right here”

finds himself staring at you more often just trying to commit every feature of yours to memory

never willingly watches that episode again

skips over that part every time or just turns the show off “You still can’t watch it?” “No”

praises you for the phenomenal performance although he claims it was a little too realistic

𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢��𝚕

is great at slipping in and out of character so he was the one helping you with your acting skills

sits up straight when he realizes what's happening “is this the scene you've been keeping secret?”

falls out immediately in your lap

bawling his eyes out goes as far to curl up in your lap

would be so proud of not only you, but himself as well for helping you perfect your craft

“Do I get credit as the acting coach?” “Yes would you like a reward?” “You know I do”

Although he’s proud of you he can’t bring himself to watch the episode again also doesn't continue watching the show in general "they killed off my favorite character how can I continue watching it now?"

keeps pushing you to work on crying on command so if you need to cry for your next roll it’s even better

acted out the scene with you at home for fun once and had a mental breakdown

𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛

Fell asleep in the middle of the show and missed it

“just watch it when you get a chance” “no replay it”

immediately turns the show off in the middle of the scene

“im not watching this” “Xav…” “No”

drills you with questions about why you didn’t tell him you were dying in that episode

“I can’t watch that don’t make me watch it” "You're being a little dramatic don't you think?"

pouts, pouts, and pouts some more

won’t watch it no matter how much you beg

although he never finished watching the whole scene he holds your hand tighter now these days

asks for a warning next time so he can prepare himself …… to fast forward

𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜

watches quietly giving away nothing

“You even shed a few tears for your own scene?” teases you for crying at your own death scene “it looks different after the editing okay!”

won't admit it, but one time was enough

“it made you sad didn’t it?” “Well I don’t take pleasure in watching you die onscreen sweetie” “im alive though” “Let's keep it that way”

weasels his way out of watching the scene again

his voice slightly wavers whenever you bring it up

avoids eye contact when you tease him about it

held you tighter at night for at least a month

Bonus: the twins bawled their eyes out and tackled you to the ground with a bone crushing hug

[yvesssssssss]

hi!! i'm the anon who requested the sakadays x reader with regular jobs. thank you so much for writing my request. i absolutely loved it!! all these little drabbles feel like they could be full fics.

like what if editor/proofreader helped uzuki to do “research” for his romance novel? how would nagumo's fans react to rumors of a relationship with his makeup artist? will vet shin ever make a move on the reader? what if gaku does get badly injured in the ring how will the reader react? also loved that natsuki and shishiba had similar dynamic with the reader. i will never get enough of bakery/cafe worker falling in love with a customer!! :”)

those are just my thoughts i got from your writing ahaha. once again thank you so much!! when i saw it yesterday it made my day. i'm glad you loved the idea and chose to write it ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

I'm so happy you enjoyed it!! Your request was such a fun concept to explore, and I’m really glad it resonated with you. And I can definitely see these drabbles expanding into full fics. Maybe I’ll have to do that in the future! Thanks again for the idea!(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

I hope you like this response—I wasn’t really satisfied with how I wrote it, but still, I hope you enjoy it!

Research Gets... Personal (Uzuki Kei x Editor!Reader)

"You need to be more specific," you say, flipping through the draft Uzuki handed you.

Uzuki narrows his eyes. "It’s fine."

"It’s not," you counter, tapping at a highlighted section. "His lips met hers in a kiss. It was warm. That’s it? That’s all the description you’re giving?"

Uzuki crosses his arms. "It gets the point across."

You exhale dramatically. "Kei. If you want your romance novel to be good, you need more detail. What kind of warmth? Gentle? Searing? Does the world blur around them? Does his heart race?"

Uzuki looks increasingly uncomfortable, but you don’t let up. Instead, you lean in, close enough that he can count your lashes.

"You don’t even know how to describe a kiss, do you?" you tease.

His throat bobs. "I—"

"Should I help you research?" You smile innocently, fingers brushing against his wrist.

Uzuki stiffens. Then, in the calmest voice imaginable, he says, "Get out."

You burst out laughing. "Alright, alright, I’ll behave—"

The door slams open.

"UZUKI—oh."

Nagumo stands there, glancing between the two of you. His grin is immediate. "Am I interrupting something~?"

Uzuki grabs his manuscript and throws it at Nagumo’s head.

Nagumo’s Rumored Relationship Breaks the Internet

Nagumo is used to being the center of attention, but this? This is next-level.

"#NagumoYoichiTaken is trending again," Shin announces, scrolling through his phone.

Nagumo hums. "What’s the theory this time?"

"Someone posted a photo of your makeup artist fixing your collar, and now the fans think you two are secretly engaged."

Nagumo snorts. "They move fast."

Shin smirks. "Oh, you haven’t seen the edits yet."

Nagumo leans over to look—and immediately bursts out laughing. Someone has photoshopped a wedding ring onto his hand. Another edit has him gazing lovingly at his makeup artist while pink sparkles and hearts float around them.

"Beautiful," Nagumo grins. "Should I play along?"

Shin groans. "No—"

Too late. Nagumo is already typing a cryptic tweet.

Vet Shin… Finally Makes a Move?

"You didn’t have to buy me coffee," you say, surprised when Shin hands you a cup.

"Just take it," he mutters, avoiding eye contact.

You smirk. "Shin. Are you being sweet?"

He groans. "Don’t make it weird."

You take a sip and hum in approval. "You even got it how I like it. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re flirting."

Shin chokes. "I—I am not—"

"Shin," you say, grinning. "Do you like me?"

Shin turns bright red and immediately starts reorganizing random paperwork. "I—I have things to do—"

You laugh. "I’ll take that as a yes."

Gaku Gets Injured… and You’re Not Happy

"You're an idiot," you snap.

Gaku grins up at you from his hospital bed, bruised and bandaged. "That’s no way to talk to a guy on bed rest."

"You could’ve died," you say, voice tight.

The teasing fades from his expression. "Hey." His tone is quieter. "I’m here, aren’t I?"

"You don’t get it," you murmur, fists clenched.

Gaku watches you carefully. Then, despite the pain, he reaches out and tugs you closer. "I’m sorry," he says, more serious than you’ve ever heard him.

You exhale shakily, then—before you can second-guess yourself—you lean down and press a kiss to his forehead.

Gaku blinks. "…Did you just—"

"Shut up and rest."

Gaku, for once, listens.

Shishiba: The Unexpected Soft Spot

Shishiba isn’t one for small talk, but ever since he started coming to your café, he’s found himself lingering more than necessary.

"You’re early today," you note, sliding him his usual order.

He shrugs. "Didn’t feel like dealing with work yet."

You watch him for a second, then—without a word—you place a small pastry on his tray.

Shishiba frowns. "I didn’t order that."

"I know," you say with a small smile. "You just look like you could use something sweet."

He blinks, caught off guard. People don’t usually go out of their way for him.

After a beat, he mutters, "…Thanks."

Shishiba takes a bite.

…Damn it. He’s going to have to keep coming back now.

[daniifanz]

Some Win or Lose things on my mind:

- in Frank’s episode when he’s texting the girl he met online right before his ex is about to walk in, the blaring alarm going off. Like.. as a viewer I understand it as a warning that *something* is about to happen. (That something being the sudden appearance of Monica). But it was the first time we saw a story telling element like that. The whole thing with Frank’s episode was focused on armor, vivid flashbacks and video game animation for the dating app. So the red flashing alarm confused me for a bit. At first I didn’t know if it was a real alarm going off in the school or a narrative device 💀

- Some people theorize that the woman Frank was texting was Vanessa’s mom??? I didn’t get that impression at all and rewatching the show I still don’t see any signs point to that??

- so does Tom lowkey have a crush on Rochelle? Based on the convo with her mom

- Very specific but I like that we see some of the parents calling it baseball when it’s softball 💀 it just seems like an accurate parent slip to make

- the job interview where Zane attacks the guy after saying “so uh, how flexible are you 😏” didn’t expect that at all but it really be like that irl

- now I know Kai’s story was supposed to focus on her experience transitioning but the creators had to scrap that main story and opted to represent it in a more subtle fashion. Idk how much of that episode was cut/edited and rewritten but when it comes to the scenes of her scratching off what presumably was her deadname on her old glove and her looking fondly at her new one that says “Kai” some people thought that the last episode was the first time James called her Kai. Cause like Kai’s story relies on the dynamic between her and her father and whether or not he accepts her. But actually he already calls her that at the start of her episode. So I’m wondering if maybe some clarity was lost with her timeline because the creators had to switch up the focal point of story.

- Rinna always going off to Brian in Korean? 💀💀 does Brian understand Korean????

- Frank being Rochelle’s favorite teacher, and Rochelle being Frank’s favorite student confirmed 🥹

- there’s an awkward pause when Rochelle is venting to Laurie. The: “do I look buff? Girl yes have you been juicing?! No….” And then there’s a beat of silence lmaoo. What was that??

- okay so the last episode showed the final inning, they’d already had 2 outs and needed a win. Laurie avoided striking out and causing them that 3rd out by making base and then Kai sadly got out after her and everyone lost their minds. So I thought that was the end of the game??? But after everyone calms down they get back on the field to continue the play?? We don’t on screen confirmation of who won the championship but like?? Do I just not know softball cause if that was the final out in the final inning….doesn’t that mean the game is over??

- okay so yeah middle schoolers think high schoolers are cool but like does Rochelle lowkey have a crush on that one highschool girl we saw???

- why is Rochelle’s episode called raspberry? I get the others but hers is going over my head

(Adding on things as I remember them)

- in Vanessa’s episode she has her own little driving service Van’s Van and we see Francis as a passenger in one of the montages. Now I’ve been seeing people say Francis was apart of Frank’s imagination so does this prove he’s real?

- so the bleacher creatures bait Rochelle to try and get her keys to the snack shack but like what was their plan??? They say let us borrow your keys and then we give them back with your $200 bucks and that’s all….soooo did they actually have $200 bucks to pay her or were they planning on stealing the money she needed from her OWN JOB to give to her??? But that doesn’t make sense. Were they never intending to pay her at all?? Cause they get the keys anyway and we see in the end they were just gonna steal the cash box before Ira takes it and runs. What were they gonna do with the money?

- I loved seeing the bleacher creatures’ friendship with Ira before the end 🥺 like they actually listened to him and let him be himself. As a weird kid and the youngest sibling, that’s all we be wanting

- the barista purposely looking Frank straight in the eyes as she says “he’s like a brother to me you guys” 😭😭😭

[chimcess]

Waterlog || pjm (4)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 11.8k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: ANGST, crying, mental health issues, talking about mental health, I'm so soft for them it's actually wild, best boyfriend Jimin, did I say angst????, past drug use, past alcohol addiction, past trauma talk, crying, anxiety, hand holding, touching as a love language, Jimin can't keep his hands to himself, he does try his best though, pining, sexual tension, banter, I love these two A/N: I know we're a couple of weeks late updating, but I've been very busy with moving so I haven't had the energy to write. I did a very quick edit, so this might not be perfect. I'm planning on coming back once I'm in my new place to do a full proofread. Hope you like the update!

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Hand clutching my phone, I sighed. All around me the airport buzzed with life. I had almost forgotten how hectic the Denver Airport was. A few feet away I saw a mother struggling to keep her children together while her husband scrolled on his phone. I must have made some sort of noise, subconsciously voicing my annoyance, because Jimin laughed.

“What’s going on, gran?” He teased, voice light. “See a couple of youngins on your lawn?”

I scoffed, tearing my eyes away from the family. “Just a shitty husband ignoring his children.”

He hissed, sucking in air through his teeth, “The worst kind of dude. Are you alright?”

Softening, I finally spotted my luggage on the conveyor belt. Twisting my torso, I did a light stretch and then quickly snatched the heavy bag up. “Not too anxious, right?”

He had been very worried about letting me come home for a visit. When I had originally brought it up he offered himself up for the job, but I was not a fan of that idea. My friends would definitely bring up our date and I did not want to deal with the awkwardness that would cause. Especially since we had yet to go on it. That would not matter to Hoseok, however, and the teasing would have been endless. Better to spare Jimin from their wrath for just a little while longer.

“I’m cool,” I replied, softening. “Just got my stuff from baggage claim. I’m going to let you go so I can call Andy.”

“Okay bug. See you in a few days.”

Harper had recently started calling me that, forgetting my real name and not caring enough to ask for it. Eloise had tried to scold her for it, but I told her I did not mind it. It caught on with Cameron not too long after that, and soon the entire Park family had started using the little nickname. Jimin thought it was adorable from the beginning but had only started using it after our talk the other night.

I laughed, “I’m going to call you tonight.”

“Aw,” I knew he had that stupid smile on his face. “Miss me that much?”

“Someone needs to make sure you’re staying out of trouble,” I replied, a confident pep in my step I had not had in years. “But yes, I do miss you.”

There was a pregnant pause. 

“I miss you too.”

I could feel my heart melting. I was still getting used to our new dynamic. On most days we were strictly business, and were able to set aside the very large, very apparent elephant in the room. It was not until we had finished with work that those roles dropped, and we were able to just be us. 

Ever since my confession in the car Jimin spoke a hell of a lot more. Apparently, he had a hard time keeping his feelings to himself and chose to talk a little less in order to avoid a slip up. He wanted to give us both a little bit of time to get to know one another before springing his crush on me.

“Going soft, kid?” Playing things off with humor was Jimin’s thing, but it had slowly started to rub off on me. “It’s only two days.”

“I know,” He pouted. “Call your friend. It’s cold and you’ll get sick.”

“Hey,” I cut the teasing tone I had, “You’re not upset I came here by myself, right?”

“No,” He chuckled with an unmistakable fondness. “I’m just messin’ with you. I’m not ready to meet your friends and you need some alone time. We’re good, I promise.”

I sighed in relief, “Okay. Good. I’m going to go now. Talk to you later?”

“Call me when you can,” He replied, voice light.

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye, bug.”

I was disappointed to hear the line go dead but knew I could aimlessly walk around this airport all day if given the chance, so long as he was there with me. Trying to get my thoughts back on track, I sent a text to Andy asking if she was here yet. If not, I was already making plans to call Jimin back.

Andy: I’m parked in 5 near C Gates

Andy: Be careful

Andy: Saw a lady almost get hit by a car just now

Me: See you in a sec

Me: Should I be worried?

I knew she was trying to make a joke, but car accident punchlines never went over all that well with me. Even if I knew the chances of that happening to me were almost zero, I really did not want to have a panic attack in the airport parking lot. 

Andy: Not at all. I’m so sorry for even saying anything. I can come meet you at the doors if you want.

Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Sigh of relief. I was fine. 

Me: I appreciate you

Me: Is babygirl here?

Dani would help the spike of anxiety dissipate. The girl was fearless and was sure to be distracting enough to keep me from paying attention to the oncoming traffic. I suddenly wished that Jimin was here. He always knew what to do.

Andy: Jin and I are weak

Andy: We let her play hooky

Bobbing and weaving through bodies, I tossed my phone into my purse and made my way out of the airport. The arrivals station was packed, and I would need to take the automated train to where Andrea was parked. It was my least favorite part about this airport, but it beat Dallas-Fort Worth by a landslide. I had gotten lost in that airport more times than I could count. 

Three minutes later I was getting out of the train and stepping into C Gates. I could smell Auntie Anne’s and felt my mouth begin to water. Checking my clock, I decided it would not hurt to make a quick spot for lunch. Andy would appreciate it and I knew Dani loved their pretzel dog. 

There was a little less traffic in C Gates. More of the expensive airlines let out here, and all you could see were business professionals pacing back and forth. A family on vacation bumped into me while I was waiting in line, and I almost gave up my spot when their toddler started screaming. 

“No, no,” His mother insisted, her hair a mess on the top of her head. “Between the girls and my mom, we’ll be here all day. Go ahead, sweetie.”

Two little girls danced around me as we waited, the line moving at a snail's pace due to the airport being understaffed. They asked me questions incessantly, and while their mother had tried her best to keep them in line, I told her I was fine with the extra attention. I loved kids and the girls were harmless. The boy in her arms kept repeating “pizza” and soon an elderly woman joined them. 

If the girls talked a lot, they had nothing on grandma. Not only did she never shut her mouth, she was loud and obnoxiously laughing every few seconds. The boy was quick to beg to be in her arms and mom got a break. She was back to attempting to corral the girls, but again they did not really listen. 

“They’re only like this when my mom’s around,” She sighed, frustrated and tired. “We’re meeting up with their father and they’re all a little restless.”

“It’s no bother,” I lied. The girls really were not that bad. Just a couple of four-year-olds having fun. The only person who was really getting on my nerves was her mother, but I was not about to say that. “Better to get it out now than in the car, right?”

She cracked a tired smile, “Right.”

Finally, it was my turn to order. The young girl behind the counter gave me an award-winning smile while another young blonde was in the back getting all of the orders out.

“Hi, welcome to Auntie Anne’s. How can I help you today?”

“Can I get one original pretzel, one cinnamon sugar pretzel, and a pretzel dog combo with a lemonade and cheese,” Glancing behind me, I sighed. “Throw in a pizza pretzel, two orders of pretzel nuggets, and whatever else the family behind me wants.”

She smiled, blue eyes twinkling prettily in the bright lights. Turning around I waved the mother over and told her to get something for her and her mother. She put up a small fight, but eventually gave in when she realized I had already put our orders together.

“Thank you so much,” I thought she might burst into tears when my card was approved. “You really didn’t need to do that.”

I shrugged, “It was nothing. Have a nice vacation.”

Walking to the pickup area, my order was already waiting for me. With nothing more than a simple wave, I left the dysfunctional family behind. The grandmother’s loud thank you seemed to echo off of the airport walls, but it was a little less grating now that I knew I would never hear it again. 

Andy threw herself at me when I finally made it outside, little Dani wrapping her arms around my legs with squeals of delight louder than her mother’s. Taking her pretzel, Andy gave me a fat, wet kiss on the cheek and told Dani she could eat in the car. 

“How’s gymnastics, girlie?” I asked the little girl once we were in the car. “Still kicking ass?”

“No,” She laughed. “I quit, like, forever ago. Appa put me in ballet classes.”

I gave Andy a look. The red head rolled her eyes, fixing me with a knowing look. I had been telling Jin to put her in dance for years.

“It’s been two weeks and she’s already trying to talk him into figure skating.”

“You’re a little hustler, huh?” I reached into the back, squeezing her knee. Dani giggled, angling her body away from mine. She was very ticklish. “Keep at it. You know your dad’s a sucker.”

Dani laughed, “My vovó says the same thing.”

We listened to Olivia Rodrigo on our way to the Kim house. Hoseok and Matilda had planned a huge coming back party for me, and from what it sounded like, I was going to meet Tilly’s new boyfriend. 

“Anything I need to know about Max?” I asked.

Andy was almost as in the dark about the guy as I was but was able to tell me he was a tattoo artist from California. The two of them met at Frank’s bookstore and by the end of their conversation Max had managed to get her out to dinner and in his bed. It was a whirlwind romance, one that made me feel uneasy about its foundation, but I was still obligated to be happy for my friend. They could be soulmates for all I knew, and I was not about to judge anybody else for their version of a first date.

“I don’t want to talk about tattoo guy anymore,” Andy whined playfully, turning up the radio when “Good 4 U” came on. “I need to know more about your little boyfriend.”

I groaned, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

This was why I was so adamant Jimin stayed away. We had yet to have a real talk about what we were, choosing to wait for our first date to iron out those details, but no one in my circle seemed to understand. All they heard was the word date and suddenly wedding bells started going off. 

“Stop deflecting. We both know he’s your boyfriend, official or not,” She laughed, stealing looks at her daughter in the rearview. “What’s he like?”

It was a hard question to answer. On the one hand, I felt like I knew him better than anybody else, but I was self aware enough to know I didn’t. His body language, the way he looked when he beat his best time, and all of his preferred gear were seared into my mind. The movies he liked, his favorite albums, and all of the best tv shows ever made. He went to college. He was the sweetest, kindest, most understanding person I had ever met, and yet… he still felt far away. The shadows that oftentimes clouded his vision were still a mystery to me, and when he came into practice with a lost look on his face, I felt helpless. I knew him and yet I didn’t.

“He’s quiet,” I finally landed on. “Very nice. Always willing to help other people out if he can. You’d like him.”

Andrea scoffed, “That’s it? The first guy you’ve dated in years and all you can tell me is I’d like him?”

“We’re still getting to know each other,” I sighed. “What do you want to know?”

We spent the rest of the car ride going over the last two months' worth of pining. I told her about Fiona, Jimin’s family, and all of my new friends. She almost pissed herself laughing when I told her about the night he asked me out, making so many Hoseok and Tilly jokes I had a difficult time focusing on the story. Andrea seemed to be finished with her interrogation when we pulled up at her house. 

Dani ran to the front door, her excitement about the party making any discomfort I had disappear. It was hard to feel uncomfortable with her around. Taking my hand in hers, the little girl shifted her weight from foot to foot, shouting at her mom to hurry up, and opening the front door anyway. Andy told her to calm down, and I just chuckled and went along with it.

The living room was filled with all of my favorite people, a large ‘welcome home’ sign hanging on the large, backwall. Underneath it was a huge table covered in food, a cake in the middle of it, and I had a feeling Sarah made it. Both her and Frank were the first people to notice me, their faces lighting up, and I let go of Dani’s hand in favor of embracing the elderly couple. The rest of the party comers erupted their voices loud and filled with love as they took turns passing me around. 

“Missed you, Otter,” Hoseok murmured in the crook of my neck, hands secured around my waist.

“Missed you more,” I replied, releasing him and catching Tilly. “Jeez, girl. Trying to kill me?”

“Come meet Max,” She replied, dragging me away from Hoseok.

Max was a tall, lanky guy with black hair that fell down his back. His clothes were on the baggier side, all black, and I recognized the band on his t-shirt from the shit Matilda liked to listen to in the car. He smiled at me, and I was surprised to see him rocking adult braces. He introduced himself, his voice deep and warm, and shook my hand. They were baby soft and covered in tattoos. 

“It’s great to see you,” I replied, genuinely meaning it. If I had to picture a guy more perfect for Tilly, I would come up empty handed. “Thanks for coming.”

He flushed, impossibly pale skin turning a bright shade of red reminding me of Jimin. 

“Anything for Mattie,” He replied.

Huh, he had his own nickname for her and everything. I would need to hang out with Max more before I could say if I liked him or not, but so far, I had a good feeling. Andrea’s worries seemed a bit silly now. They really liked each other, and Tilly’s heartbreaking, dimpled smile made me feel more confident in her partner. They would be just fine. 

The party was fun, and I ate more spinach and artichoke dip than was healthy. Hoseok and I talked about my afterschool visit tomorrow. The boys had a swim meet Saturday and the two of us were hoping we could tag team in order to iron out any issues they had been having. I was being placed in charge of the freshmen while Hoseok made sure the other kids were feeling confident and ready for the meet.

"Let's party!" Frank boomed, lifting a beer into the air.

I laughed, "Be careful, old timer. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

I thought of Jimin again. That sounded like something he would say. Surrounded by the people I loved, I laughed hard and partied harder. The plates of food came one right after the other, and I was happy that I still had a place here. Falling back into my step, I fit seamlessly back into the fold.

"Dance with me," Hoseok demanded, tipsy and red-faced.

"It's your toes," I replied, taking his head and letting him take the lead.

The other couples were already dancing and hooped and hollered as I awkwardly followed the steps. I was not always a bad dancer but lost some of my rhythm in the accident. Hoseok never minded and let me step on his feet without a single complaint.

"You look happy," He commented, spinning me around.

I smiled, "I am."

He smiled back, wincing when I stomped down on his toes again. I apologized, but he just held my hand a little tighter and kept moving. I hummed along to the song, filled with joy. He spun me again, and finally let me go when I slammed into Jin.

"Go get some cake or something," He laughed. "You're too dangerous to be out here."

I rolled my eyes, "I tried to tell you. It's your fault you don't listen."

"Don't need you anyway. I have enough swag for the both of us."

I watched, thoroughly amused from the sidelines, as he moon-walked around the living room.

I left just before midnight after staying behind to help Andy and Jin clean up. The others left a few hours before to get back to Denver at a decent time. My house looked the same as always, dark and empty, but I could tell the landscapers had been around. The grass was recently cut and edged.

The silence inside was deafening. I had always known my place was too big for one person, but after spending so much time in my little she-shed at the Andersons’ house, everything here just felt excessive. Tossing my keys in the bowl beside the door, I wiped my eyes and decided to just head to bed. I would only be here for three days. I would be back in Saline before I knew it.

Dragging my body upstairs, this sudden depression-filled fatigue made my shoulders feel ten times heavier. A chilling, almost insidious, hollowness began to spread across my body. I knew this feeling all too well and it made me feel pathetic. Could I not be on my own anymore? Had I really grown that attached to my life in Michigan? Finally getting into my bedroom, I realized that I had.

Saline was perfect. Living in Colorado Springs has always bothered me. The people here held more traditional values and making friends was difficult. I had Andy and Jin, but they were both very busy people. Andrea was a full-time nurse, Jin’s schedule was somehow even more erratic than his wife’s, and when they were off, they wanted to spend time with Dani. I was lucky if I saw them once every two weeks. 

Hoseok, Tilly, and Minho all lived in Denver, and while I saw them more often due to the meetings with Frank and Sarah dragging me into the city, it was not like we hung out every time I was out there. Days would go by with me speaking at all, and most of my weekends were spent in bed sleeping. Working at the school helped, but I would never claim anyone from the swim team to be a friend. I was not in the habit of befriending children.

Living in Saline was different. Jimin was always there to make me laugh, and when he wasn’t, I had people like Taehyung and Sam to keep me company. Giselle was young, but we got along so well I often forgot about the difference in age between the two of us. Megan and Yoongi were Michigan’s own version of Andy and Jin, and I could see myself becoming good friends with them given enough time. No one had kids, no one was too busy trying to keep up with crazy expenses, and I could find a little house away from the rest of the world to spend my life in.

I thought of the Parks, a family who I had come to love more than I thought was possible, and the Andersons who took me in and always tried to make me feel comfortable. Eloise and her kindness. Luna and Cameron. All of them. I loved and adored every single one of them, and it was then that I finally let myself really think about what I wanted.

Did I want to come back here after I was finished with the season? Did I really want this massive house if it meant I had no one to share it with? No, I decided. Stripping out of my clothes, the numbness was being replaced with a different strange feeling. It felt suspiciously like hope. Excitement came to me so rarely it was foreign and odd, but nice all the same. Jittery, I took my phone out of my pants pocket.

“Hello?” Jimin’s voice was scratchy when he finally picked up.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “Did I wake you up?”

“Yes, but it’s okay,” I could hear him shuffling around in his bed. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, climbing into bed. Then, without thinking, I blurted, “I think I want to move to Michigan.”

I held my breath as I waited for his response. There was no telling how this conversation would go, but I was hopeful. Even if this whole date thing did not go very well, I was positive that we would be able to move past it with a little bit of time. We worked well together and if he was comfortable with it then we could continue working together. Regardless, there was always coaching at a school.

“Like, permanently?”

I nodded but after a moment of silence remembered he could not see me.

“Yeah.”

My stomach started to churn. As the silence on the other end began to stretch, the excitement I felt before faded. Even if I said Jimin and I could get past a potentially awkward break up of sorts, I would not pretend that the thought did not make me physically ill. We would never be the same if that happened. It would be something to think about if it came to pass before the Olympics was over.

“Did something happen?” He finally asked, and I could hear the genuine worry in his tone. “Are you okay?”

The fear shifted to hurt, irritation, and anger, making my eyebrows knit together.

“I’m fine,” I could not keep the bite from my voice. It was petty and wrong of me, but his insinuation that I was not in my right mind was insulting. It made me feel like a child. “Just- forget I said anything. I don’t know what I’m even talking about.”

“Don’t do that,” His steady calmness made me even angrier. “I’m only asking you because it came out of the blue, not because I’m not happy with the idea.”

Now I just felt silly. Here I was making these small revelations, waking him up from his sleep, and then getting snippy because he did not respond the way I had wanted him to. Ugh, I wasn’t even his girlfriend yet and I’m acting like Darcy. A shiver went down my spine. That was an insult above all others.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, the attitude from a few seconds before gone as quickly as it came. “I got defensive for no reason. Sorry.”

He chuckled, the sound barely audible over the phone.

“I forgive you. Now, why do you want to pack your life up for good?”

That made me laugh. It was a sad, pitiful sound. One that did not hold my usual spunk. One I don’t think Jimin had ever heard before. It was impossible to feel sad when he was around.

“I forgot how quiet my house is,” I admitted softly. “I love my friends, but I think coming back just reminded me of how easily I was able to fall back into the routine of it all. Jin and Andy are parents, Tilly has a new boyfriend, and Hoseok and Minho are always so busy with their own lives that I don’t see any of them as often as I would like to.”

Turning on my side, I blinked back a few tears.

“It might sound stupid, but I really do love Saline. I like how busy I am and all of my friends. I bought this place with the hopes of kids and a dog one day, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen, and now it’s just rooms collecting dust. I just-” I let a tear fall, my emotions starting to bubble over. “I don’t like how lonely it feels out here.”

“Doesn’t sound like you like it there. Have you always felt like this?” He asked.

I shook my head, the tears free falling in between sniffles and shaky breaths.

“Not always. Ever since Namjoon died things have been weird. There was a point when I felt suffocated because no one would leave me alone, and then one day everything resumed, and I just got left behind. It was like I woke up and two years just passed me by.”

Jimin comforted me while I cried, telling me how much he hated to hear me so upset, while I worked on calming down. There had been a time in my life when I was not so emotional, but therapy had opened up a whole new side of myself I didn't know existed. Rubbing my face, I sniffled and sank deeper into my mattress. For now, the waterworks had stopped.

“You were recovering,” He soothed. “Your body needed time to heal, and you were traumatized. I don’t think anyone can blame you for zoning out for a bit.”

I hummed, “I know. Doesn’t make it easier to swallow.”

“I know how you feel. When I pulled out of the Olympics last time there was a part of me that felt like a huge failure, but my dad was there to help get my head back on straight. He doesn’t seem like it, but he’s a really great shoulder to cry on.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” My voice was like sandpaper. “James is the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

I felt heavy. Worn. Used. My eyes begged for me to shut them, but we were just getting back into safer waters, and I didn’t want to burst the bubble. I yawned, covering my mouth and hoping Jimin could not hear the sound. He had gone quiet.

“Can I ask you something?” Jimin’s voice broke through the comfortable silence that had formed around us. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Shoot,” I forced myself to smile.

“What happened to Namjoon?”

I closed my eyes. This was something I knew would come up sooner or later. My lip wobbled uncontrollably as the second wave of tears crashed over me. I hated talking about this, but I knew it was going to come up sooner or later. Jimin deserved the truth, and honestly, I wanted to tell him. Being vulnerable with someone felt good. Being vulnerable with Jimin was divine. He was always so ready and willing to go along with things, listening and watching my every move, and trying his best to understand me. It was refreshing. It was nice. It was familiar.

“Was he in the accident with you?” He asked and his voice was so, so gentle. 

“Yeah,” I croaked, finally finding my voice. “I went out with some of my friends and got pretty drunk. I was tired and ready to go home, but my ride didn’t want to go home yet. So, I called Joon.”

I sucked in a deep, loud breath. Jimin told me I could stop, that I didn’t owe him anything, but I ignored him. This wasn’t about owing him. This was about letting the guy I liked get to know me. This story was a part of who I was, as fucked up as that may sound, and I wanted him to get to know this facet of my life as deeply as he knew the present day one. 

“Anyway,” I continued. “He offered to come and pick me up. Twenty minutes later I’m getting into his car and we’re on our way home. We’d just gotten engaged and bought our first house together- things were perfect. I had never been happier.

“We ended up taking the long way home because of an accident on the interstate. It was my idea, and Namjoon had a knack for going along with whatever I wanted. We were only two minutes away from the house when we got hit.”

I took a few deep breaths and wiped my face. Jimin was quiet on the other end. After a minute or two, I jumped back into the story.

“There was a four-way intersection around the corner from our place. Our light was green when we drove up. I don't think he thought to check if there was another car coming. He never even saw the truck. He, uh, died on impact.”

“Jesus,” Jimin breathed.

“The other guy was drunk as hell behind the wheel. Not paying attention. Funny thing is, he was the only person who didn’t get critically injured. Just a broken arm and a concussion. He wrapped our car around a light pole. My leg was pinned between the car and the light, and the airbag is what caused the brain injury.”

Jimin cursed under his breath, “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry that happened to you.”

“Yeah,” I gritted out. “Me too.”

He let me cry for a little while, saying over and over again how sorry he was and how he wished he was in Colorado with me. I did not have anything to say to him. It felt like my chest had been ripped open and my heart was on full display. 

I never questioned how quickly we went from barely talking, to joking around, to sitting up late at night on the phone talking about life. It just happened. Clutching my phone in my hand, I let out a deep breath and held back any more tears from falling. I never said it, but I wished he was here, too.

“Hey,” His voice was gentle when he spoke, so fragile and sweet, that I had to force down the sobs threatening to come out. “I just want to say I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier. You wanting to move here is probably the best thing I’ve heard all fucking year, but I just didn’t want to sway your decision.”

Sniffling, I tried to tell him I wasn’t upset, but he shut me down almost immediately.

“Let me finish,” His voice did not leave room for argument. “I know I don’t act like I’m insecure, but I am. I can be selfish and self-centered, and I’ve always had to really work on those parts of myself.”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything,” I mumbled, curling into a ball beneath my blankets. 

“Like I said, I can be a very selfish person,” He sighed. “There was this part of my brain just wanting to hear you say you were coming here and staying with me for forever. I didn’t want that to take over the narrative. And- no offense, but if you did move all the way out here just to date me, I think I’d be a little creeped out honestly.”

I snorted. Hearing that he felt the need to explain any of that to me felt like a small win, even if it did make an alarm go off in my head. It took courage to be that open and honest with another person, especially someone who just cried their eyes out. His compassion and understanding never failed to amaze me, and I was grateful he trusted me enough to let me into his mind for once. Still, it did not make the creep comment any less funny.

“Don’t laugh,” He whined, unable to stop himself from chuckling. “I’m being serious.”

“So do you want me to be a creepy stalker or not?” I joked, hoping to lighten up the mood. “Make up your mind, kid.”

“I think I just want you to be yourself,” I melted. “That’s been working out just fine so far. I mean, if you are a creepy stalker, you managed to get me to like you.”

“Mission accomplished,” I breathed, still reeling from his sweet words. “You better watch out, 007. There’s a new spy in town.”

“So, I’m Bond and you’re Joe Goldburg?”

“Exactly,” My cheeks hurt from how much I was smiling. “Penn Badgley would be a decent James Bond. He was really great in Margin Call.”

I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile.

“Holy shit, you actually watched it?”

Margin Call was one of Jimin's favorite movies from 2011. He kept a very large notebook filled with all of the movies he’s ever seen, along with ratings, and if he should ever watch them again. He went through it one day and came across the action film, rewatched it, and then spent most of the day talking my ear off about how great it is. 

“Someone I know was very passionate about it, and it managed to pique my curiosity.”

Jimin sighed, but I could not tell what emotion was behind it. Definitely was not anger or frustration. Not sadness either. 

 “What time are you getting back on Sunday?” He asked, and I could definitely hear the affectionate tone his voice had taken on.

“Um,” I thought about it for a moment. “Six, I think.”

“PM?” 

“Yeah,” I curled up under my blankets. It was beginning to get really cold inside, but I did not want to get up to turn the heat on. “I have to double check my flight times, but I know it’s somewhere around there. Why? What’s up?”

“I know we already made plans for next week, but I was thinking I could pick you up from the airport and we could go out.”

My face grew hot, “I don’t think I’ll be dressed for a date.”

“You always look great,” He assured me.

I laughed, nervous and embarrassed, “Thanks.”

We had originally planned our first date to be the weekend after I got back. Jimin was adamant about giving me an experience, and I had been more than happy to indulge him a little. He was just so cute when he got excited. We were running on a limited timeline right now, though, since he had an upcoming swimming fundraiser with Swim Across America in Allendale. The team was raising money for cancer research, and I was very excited to be there to show my support.

Moving the date up meant we would have less to do next weekend, unless Jimin still wanted to keep our plans in place, but it meant we could focus on the fundraiser instead of trying to juggle a date at the same time. 

“I hate to go, but I’m really tired,” Jimin yawned. Pulling my phone away from my ear I was startled by how late it was. “I’ll text you in the morning, okay?”

I apologized for keeping him up so late. “Promise I won’t do it again.”

He hummed, already beginning to fall asleep, “Don’t mind. You’re always welcome to bother me in the middle of the night.”

“Night Jimin,” I whispered, blood pumping.

“Night bug.”

There was one thing I missed about Colorado- how quickly the snow melted. Michigan was seeing more snow as each day went by, but here in the mountains they would not start seeing the worst of it until the spring. For the first time in a month, I was able to forgo my large, puffy jacket in favor of a long sleeve and jeans. Jimin found my excitement over this endearing, sending a slew of heart-eye emojis in response to the mirror photo I sent him.

It was almost the end of the day when I pulled into the high school parking lot. The entire front office erupted in excitement when I walked through the front doors, hugs and well wishes overwhelming me. Sandra, the receptionist, could have talked all day if I let her, and after signing in, I politely told them all I needed to meet up with Coach Jung. I lied about stopping by on my way out and only felt a little bad about it. They were way too much for me.

“They’re going to be so excited to see you,” Hoseok mumbled, a smile stretching across his face as loud teenage boys got closer and closer to the pool house. 

“I’m happy to see them, too,” I replied. “Should we wait until they change to make the grand reveal?”

He shook his head. “Would you rather hug now or when they’re in speedos.”

I shivered, disgusted by the mental image.

“Thanks for putting that in my head, you sick fuck.”

Choking on his spit, Hoseok bent over, laughing so hard he started to screech. His laughter reminded me of a ghost's wail and was contagious. We were both so wrapped up in our little bubble we did not notice the doors opening.

“Coach?”

Wiping my cheeks, I caught my breath and made eye contact with Jordan. Baby blue eyes widened while a large, dimple smile overtook his face. Behind him, Gabriel announced that I was here, and the room was filled with excitement. I was not much of a hugger, but I was happy to greet each boy with one. Gabriel hadn’t stopped speaking since catching sight of me and had a few accidental slip ups about how much he disliked Coach Jung.

Hoseok had alluded to that being their main issue right now. The boys were having a hard time adjusting to a new face and missed me dearly. To his credit, Hoseok admitted that he was still getting used to the coaching thing and made a couple mistakes his first few days here. He had made it a point to apologize to them for being a dick, but the teens hadn’t forgotten or forgiven him for his snappy attitude. Especially the two oldest.

“When are you coming back?” Marcus asked. 

I smiled sadly, “I’ll be out for the rest of the year.” The tall boy deflated, sending a nasty look Hoseok’s way. “But,” I was quick to fix my mistake, “I’m planning on making trips to assist Coach Jung throughout the year. I wanted to be here for your last meet, but something came up.”

That something had been Jimin’s birthday, and I was not going to risk missing his party.

Regardless, Marcus and the team were very happy to hear they would be seeing me. 

“I promise I’ll be here for graduation, too,” I added.

Gabriel offered to give me one of his tickets and I gratefully accepted the extended offer. We stood there and talked for at least fifteen minutes before I finally told them to get changed and into the water. Without protest, all twelve of them went to the locker room.

“You know,” Hoseok chuckled. “You're going to have to teach me how you manage to do that.”

“Cinnamon buns from Mountain Shadows,” I put on my whistle and grabbed my clipboard from my duffel bag. “They’ll be eating out of your hand in no time.”

The team was glowing. Jordan stood in the middle of the boys, a large smile on his face, as he praised them for giving the meet their best effort. Having another win under their belt, all of them were buzzing with excitement at a chance at nationals. They only needed to win three more competitions to qualify. 

For the first time since I arrived, the icy contempt they held for Hoseok seemed to thaw. It brought a smile to my face. If I did not come back next year, I had a feeling the boys would be getting along much better. 

“What’s for dinner?” Marcus asked, looking at me for an answer.

“Coach said something about burgers,” I replied, gesturing towards Hoseok. “You should ask him though. I could be wrong.”

Gabriel chimed in, “Yeah, we’re going to Bingo.”

My mouth watered. Bingo Burger was one of the best spots in town. Their fries were hot and crispy, and I loved their shakes. Mulling over my options for dinner, I always found myself stuck between the Gone Shroomin’ Burger and the Happy Hippie. For a vegan burger, that thing was really fucking good. Then again, a thick, juicy beef patty smothered in bacon, cheese, and mushrooms would hit the spot. Indecisive and bored, I fiddled around with my phone and somehow ended up texting Jimin.

Me: Gone Shroomin’ or Happy Hippie?

The noise on the bus was just in the background now and easy to tune out. Hoseok was laughing loudly with the freshmen while the two seniors were in a quiet conversation in the seat in front of me. Marcus and his girlfriend broke up recently. I stopped paying attention once my phone vibrated.

Jimin: No idea what that means

Jimin: Gone Shroomin I guess

I bit my lip, suppressing a smile.

Me: We’re going for celebration burgers

Me: The boys won and Hobi is treating them since we’re out in Pueblo and not getting back to the Springs until after dinner.

Jimin: Speaking of food… I was thinking we could get some BBQ on Sunday

“Y/N!” Hoseok called, making me look up from my phone. “Tell your boyfriend you’ll call him later.”

“We need you to be the tiebreaker,” Twig chirped.

“What for?” I sighed, glancing down at my screen.

Jimin: Have you been to Union Rec yet? It’s BBQ and a taqueria

Me: No but I’m always down for a burrito

“Do mermaids have gills?” Twig asked.

Fully pulled out of my phone, I flipped it around and gave the boys my undivided attention. 

“Of course not. They’re mammals, so it would be a blowhole.”

Hoseok clapped his hands, “Thank you! That’s exactly what I said.”

Sliding further down in the booth, I closed my eyes and drowned them out again. Colorado’s air was so dry and crisp I was having to get used to the altitude change. I missed how wet and cold Michigan was. Smiling to myself, I remembered how much I hated it when I first landed. So much has changed…

Shuffling, I made myself more comfortable. We were only thirty minutes out from the Springs now, and we would be at Bingos right on time for Hoseok’s reservations. Feeling myself growing tired, I sunk even further into the booth. Eyes heavy, I let them slip closed, and slept for the rest of the bus ride.

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I smoothed down my skirt for the millionth time. The gray sweater I had thrown on seemed too casual now that I was looking at myself, but I did not know what else to do. It was a laundry day, but when I went to put my clothes in the dryer it refused to turn on. Violet said they needed a new one anyway, but that did little to improve my mood. The pretty red dress I wanted to wear was soaking wet and hanging from the shower rod to dry. I played with the skin on my lip, willing the black and gray outfit to somehow look nicer. On the other side of the phone, Andy sighed.

“You look fine,” She insisted, running her hand through her auburn hair. “Do a cute hairstyle and put on a nice pair of earrings, and you’ll be golden.”

“You don’t think it’s too plain?” I had asked her this five times now, and each time I got that same reply. “I mean, do I look like I’m going to a funeral?”

“The guy has seen you in sweats and no makeup and still wanted to take you out. Do you honestly think he cares about the color of your outfit?”

She had a point. Finally deciding to cave in and give up on my obsession, I took her advice to do something with my hair. A few of the strands were beginning to look silver, and my sideburns were looking paler every day, but after Hoseok told me he was starting to see a few grays, I decided to leave them be. If we were both going to be silver foxes, I liked the idea of doing it together.

“Are you wearing heels?”

“No,” I shook my head. I picked my phone up and went to my bedroom to find a pair of earrings. “It’s too icy. Silver or gold?”

She thought about it for a second, her face scrunched up cutely. 

“Silver.”

I landed on some thick, gun-metal hoops. They matched the color of the sweater perfectly and did not take away from my face too much. I had spent too much time on looking this nice to have an accessory dominate. Andy was happy with my choice.

I had gotten back a little earlier than I originally thought I would, and asked Jimin if it was okay that I meant him at the restaurant out here instead of making him drive all the way to Detroit to pick me up. He had put up a bit of a fight about it but relented when I said I was hoping we could hang out at his house after dinner. I said I wanted to get myself home, but I was really trying to see how bad the drive was from his place to mine. The thought of spending more time in his space made me feel like a teenage girl.

“How’s ballet going?” I slipped on a pair of black tights. It was freezing outside, and I wanted to have as many layers on as possible. “Has Dani made any progress in getting her figure skating career started?”

Andrea laughed but said that her daughter was getting closer to her goal every day. Jin was weak and did anything the little girl wanted if he could. This was the only issue they were both bull-headed about. Jin wanted to teach her to be responsible and follow through on things, and Dani was tired of preparing for figure skating. She wanted to be on the ice and her dad was afraid of pushing her too far too young. I was most definitely a team Dani instigator, and it was a point of contention between Seokjin and I.

“What did you think of Max?”

I smiled. That boy was definitely a character. The gang and I had a nice dinner before I left Colorado, and Tilly brought along Mr. Tattoo guy. He was quiet and when he did talk, he always had something completely random and out of the blue to say. He fascinated me and when everyone started huddling in their own groups to chat, I turned most of my attention to the new guy. 

He was a sweetheart, and it was a nice change of pace getting to know him. He hated being called Peter (his first name), went to college for nuclear engineering, and became a tattoo artist on a whim. A buddy of his wanted a new piece, paid Max to draw it, and trusted the guy with a tattoo gun. He was an apprentice in San Francisco for three years before moving to Denver to open up his own shop. For all of his eccentricity, he was very successful and down to Earth.

“He’s good for her,” I finally replied, zipping up my Doc Martens, I checked the time. I would have to leave soon. “I’m just happy there’s no drama between her and Hobi.”

It had been a year since they officially broke up, but I knew they fell into bed with one another a handful of times since then. Hoseok and I had talked about their weird relationship on one too many drunken nights, the swimmer the only person able I liked enough to force a glass of whiskey down. Tilly knew that I knew and would vent to me sometimes. They loved each other, knew one another better than anybody else, and it was easy to fall back into each other since we were in the same circle.

 I doubted Andy knew anything about that, we tried our best to keep her out of the loop, but she always said that they still had lingering feelings. I hoped Hoseok was handling this news well. He seemed fine, happy even, so I just rolled with it. If he had a problem, I was sure I would have heard about it by now.

“Speaking of Hoseok,” The humorous tone in Andy’s voice caught my full attention. “Apparently, Jin saw him at The Rabbit Hole with some blonde girl before you got into town. He just remembered to tell me last night.”

This was news to me. Wracking my brain, I tried to figure out if he had brought up a date, or even a person he might be interested in, but nothing came up. Shrugging, I let it go. It was probably just some girl he picked up at the bar. Still, that would be an expensive date.

“He hasn’t told me anything about that,” I murmured.

“Might be why he’s not bothered by new boyfriend.”

I laughed, “Or it could be that they’ve moved on.”

“Oh, please,” She pulled a face, eyes rolling to the back of her head. “We all know that’s not true. At least, not until recently.”

“Regardless,” I sighed, grabbing my purse and walking out of the front door. “It’s none of our business. If they’re happy that’s all that matters.”

Andy raspberried, “Boo. I hate it when you’re all mature and adult-like.”

“And right,” I joked. “Don’t forget about that part.”

Locking up my little house, I made my way through the Anderson’s. Violet was watching the Golden Girls on the couch while Calvin was reading a book beside her. It was a sweet scene that made me smile. I wanted what they had. 

I gave them a smile and wave as I passed by. Violet returned it in full, her eyes kind and gentle, before going back to her show. Calvin put his book down and asked what time I was planning on coming back. He wanted to keep an eye out for my car.

“Around midnight,” I replied, moving my phone away from my mouth. Andrea was rambling about the new doctor on staff. I trusted her disdain enough to know he was a huge dick. “See you two tomorrow.”

“Be safe out there,” He replied, going back to his copy of The Catcher and the Rye.

Andy and I were on the phone for the entire car ride into Ann Arbor. I enjoyed hearing her voice, the small distraction welcome when I felt my anxiety spike. Thankfully it was a Sunday night, and the streets were somewhat empty.

Once I got into the downtown area, I drowned out her voice completely. Andrea never minded. She just kept talking like I hadn’t stepped out of whatever conversation we were just having. Never got mad when I kept asking her to repeat herself either. She was a wonderful friend to me, and I was grateful to have her in my life. If I moved to Saline, she would be the person I missed the most.

I still hadn’t talked to anyone else about the possibility of moving. I was not sure how they would react, and I needed to have my mind made up before giving any of them the news. While I knew Andy and Jin would be supportive, and Tilly and Minho wouldn’t really care all that much (it just gave them an excuse to vacation in Michigan), it was Hoseok I was most on the fence about.

With him it could go either way. He would either be really happy and supportive or call me crazy. It came from a place of love, and I respected his opinion more than any of the others, so I had to be completely sure of myself before getting into something like that with him. If he thought for a second I was rushing into things he would go into overprotective, big brother mode and kill all of my excitement. He might even be able to change my mind if he fought hard enough. 

Pulling up to the restaurant, I was impressed by the sheer size of it. One half looked like an old warehouse while the other half was a small, white bricked building. A red neon sign glowed in the night and a large party was hanging out outside of the building. I could see Jimin in their little group and smiled. He was a very popular man in this area and was able to make new friends wherever he went. If I had to guess, he knew someone and is now best friends with all of them.

“Hey, I just got to the restaurant. I’m going to let you go.”

“Okay, baby,” Andy replied. “Have fun. Talk to you later.”

“Text you when I get home,” I replied. 

Andy was as hypervigilant about getting texts as I was. She was on staff at the hospital when Namjoon and I first arrived. I can’t remember anything from that night after getting in Joon’s car, but when Jin and I spoke about it he said Andy was one of the nurses having to help triage me. She had to be physically pulled away from my body once the doctors found out about our connection, but the image of my body that night is burned into her mind. She was the person who took care of me the most upon release and quit her job at the hospital for a little while in order to make sure I was well taken care of. Calls and texts were just our thing now and I always felt horrible for being part of such a traumatic event for her.

“Love you,” She said.

“Love you too,” I replied, hanging up.

Getting out of my car, I locked the doors and made my way over to Jimin. He caught sight of me before I reached the small group and broke out into a huge, heart stopping smile. Unable to stop myself, I smiled back and waved awkwardly. He said something to the group before meeting me halfway. 

“Hey, you,” He said, wrapping his arms around me. “You look really pretty.”

I laughed nervously, squeezing his waist. “Thanks. I tried my best.”

Pulling away, I was able to admire him a bit better. He was wearing light jeans tonight, a rarity as he preferred sweatpants and slacks, and a black t-shirt. A leather jacket was a staple in his wardrobe, and he always said they kept him warm enough. I never believed him. As always, everything was a tight fit and showed off his body perfectly. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I said once my appraisal was finished. “Nice boots. Where’d you get them?”

He looked down at the black, Chelsea boots and shrugged, “Nordstrom, I think. Taehyung got them for me a few Christmases ago.”

Of course he did.

“Let’s go inside. I’m cold.”

Jimin laughed, “My apologies, ma’am.”

The restaurant was packed, but Jimin had arrived thirty minutes early to get us on their waitlist, so I only had to wait five minutes for our table to be ready. Jimin brushed off the gesture as first date etiquette, but I knew better. The kid was late to everything and yet he got here early so I wouldn’t have to stand outside in the cold. It almost made me reach out and hold his hand, but my nerves got the best of me. We were at our table before I could gather up some courage, leaving a disappointed, bitter taste in my mouth.

“I’m feeling Disco Fries as an app. You?”

Searching the menu for them, I nodded. “That sounds really good.”

We were quiet for a few minutes as we decided on what we wanted. The menu here was rather large, filled with Mexican foods and copious BBQ items. Having never been here before I had no clue what was good and what hasn’t, but from how many people were here I had to assume nothing was bad.

“Know what you want?” Jimin asked, breaking the silence.

I shook my head, “No idea. What about you?”

“I get the same thing every time I come,” He laughed. “The Korean BBQ Burger is really fucking good. I also like the enchiladas.”

Finding both items, my mouth watered. Everything sounded amazing, but I wanted to get a little out of my comfort zone. I just had burgers yesterday, so I was not feeling that. Maybe BBQ? Looking at the options, I shook my head. I could not eat a half pound of anything. Biting the dry skin on my lips, my brain felt like it was working on overdrive. Too many options.

“Welcome to Union Rec,” I jumped a little, startled. “I’m Annie and I’ll be your server tonight.”

My eyes locked with a pair of baby blues, and I immediately recognized her. She was the brunette from the bar a couple of months ago. Eyes sliding from me, she landed on Jimin and the bored expression on her face morphed into one of pure bliss. I did not understand why she had given me that nasty look back then, but it was much clearer to me now. She had a thing for Jimin. Remembering she had a boyfriend, one she screamed at over the phone, it made me feel nauseous. Poor Tom.

“Oh my gosh, Christian. What are you doing here?” She asked, sneaking a look at me.

“Got a hot date,” He replied cheekily, gesturing his hand my way. “You remember Y/N, right?”

She gave me one of those tight-lipped, fake smiles. I returned the favor. I was not really jealous per say, Jimin’s declaration making any possibility of that disappear, but I did not appreciate anyone trying to make me feel small. I was a gold medalist. I was a fucking Olympian. Whoever the hell this chick thought she was, I would make sure she never thought for a second she got under my skin. 

“Yeah, we met at Brecon’s,” Annie replied, completely ignoring me. “Thought she was your coach.”

Jimin either did not catch the insult or he was choosing to ignore it. His smile was still just as pleasant as it was when we first sat down. I envied his ability to keep his emotions so controlled. I knew I must have been glaring at the poor girl.

“She is,” He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean she’s not my girlfriend. Are you taking our order or…?”

Annie spluttered for a second before regaining her composure. All affection in her eyes was gone and replaced by irritation. It was definitely directed at me, but Jimin’s dismissal must have stung. I was happy to be rid of her. Putting in our order for Disco fries, Jimin got a Sprite and Annie left before I could ask for a drink. Sipping on my complimentary water, I forced myself to breathe in and out. She was just a petty, annoyed girl with a crush. That was all. So, what if she was being rude? I was fine. Everything was fine. After the fifth sip, I actually believed it.

Trying to keep my tongue in check, I went back to looking through the menu. Finally able to make a choice, I decided on the birria beef ramen and closed the menu. Hopefully little miss Annie wouldn’t spit in it. Hot again, I took another long sip of water.

“Excuse me.”

Jimin flagged down another waiter, a pleasant smile on his face. Confused, I put down the glass and raised an eyebrow. He winked at me before laying the charm on thick. 

“Hey Marty. Would you mind if we got a different server?”

The young girl nodded frantically, “Of course. Is everything okay?”

Jimin smiled, eyes like crescents. “Everything is fine. Just Annie on her bullshit. Don’t want to get her fired by talking to your dad.”

Marty rolled her eyes, “Figures. I’ll tell her I’m taking care of you guys. Just don’t expect me to be running around for you, man. I have an entire section by myself.”

“I want privacy anyway,” Jimin replied, smirking at me. “Thanks. I’ll tip you well.”

She laughed, “Just make sure you put it in my hand. That bitch has been stealing tips. Cosette is trying to convince pops to fire her, but you know how he is about the girl.”

Jimin shook his head, “I already know. Can you get my girl a drink? Annie ran off without taking her order.”

Marty looked at me, her deadpan stare making me burst into laughter. Apparently, it wasn’t just me. That helped. 

“Sorry about her. She’s a massive bitch. What can I get you?”

I smiled, my mood a million times better, “Iced tea, please.”

“You got it, babe. You ready to order?”

Marty took our orders and promised to be back with my drink soon. 

“How do you two know each other?” I asked Jimin, finishing off my water.

“We were in the same class back in high school. Her mom owns that flower shop on Michigan Avenue.”

That was surprising. I was positive the girl was no older than eighteen. She reminded me of a porcelain doll, her chubby cheek and big eyes adding something angelic to her overall look. Then again, Jimin did not look all that old either. It was easy to forget he just turned 24. The age gap was really messing with my brain.

Annie was back with Jimin’s drink a few minutes later. She said nothing when she practically slammed his cup on the table before stalking off. It was then that I knew who she reminded me of. Darcy. I wondered if they were friends. Definitely had the same attitude problem, that was for sure.

“Ignore her,” Jimin told me once she was out of earshot. “I’ve been doing it since middle school.”

The rest of our dinner went back without a hitch. With Annie out of the way, and Marty’s small and infrequent check-in’s, we were able to be in a bubble of sorts. He asked about my trip back home and filled me in on what happened over the weekend. He had finally told his parents about our date and said that his mom thought it was a great idea. James called me perfect a few times, too. I had a hard time believing it, but Jimin had never lied to me before. It was nice to know the people around him accepted me even if I was a few years older.

“My mom’s 9 years older than my dad,” He revealed in between bites of food.

Shocked, I stopped eating all together. I had no idea they were that different in age. Ne-Yeon looked so youthful and pretty it was hard to guess just how old she actually was. Even fighting cancer, that woman did not look a day over 40. James was also in great shape for his age. To hear they had their own age gap made me feel a little bit better. 

“Wait,” Something else occurred to me. “Your mom was in her forties when she had you?”

Jimin nodded, “45. She had Haru at 48.”

It made sense to me now. To Jimin, our age gap was nothing special. It was smaller than his parents’, and having an older mother did not bother him at all. In his eyes, we had all of the time in the world for marriage and kids. A small weight came off of my shoulders. It really did not mean anything to him. He was not just saying that to make me feel better either. 

“Do you want dessert?” He asked, his plate empty in front of him. 

I was almost done with my bowl, “What do they have?”

He squinted his eyes, thinking.

“I know they have this horchata banana pudding. It’s literally the best dessert I’ve ever had in my life. There are a few other things, but I can’t remember what they are.”

I chuckled, “Then we’ll have the banana pudding.”

Jimin was not exaggerating either. The pudding was delicious. I almost wished we had each gotten our own serving, but after seeing the bill we were happy we hadn’t. Jimin paid this time. We had a back-and-forth deal when it came to meals. I got us breakfast last Wednesday, so he was picking up this bill. This was, unfortunately, much higher than Denny’s.

“I’ll put gas in your truck,” I offered on our way out. “To make up for the difference from Denny’s.”

He scoffed, “Don’t worry about it.”

“But-”

“We’re together now,” He interrupted me. “If I want to pay for a meal, then I will. You don’t have to pay me back.”

“We’ve always done that,” I argued.

“That was before,” He countered, walking me to my car door and opening it. “This is now. And right now, I’m trying to take a pretty girl, in a pretty dress, on a nice date. That includes paying for her meal.”

Getting into my seat, I pointed out that I let him do the gentleman thing all of the time. Opening my door for me, pulling chairs out at restaurants, and even walking on the curbside when we were out together. The list was endless. The least I could do was pay for half of a meal.

“I don’t do those things to get on your good side,” Jimin replied. “I do them because I want to. This isn’t transactional. So, stop worrying about being a burden. I enjoy taking care of you. You deserve to be taken care of.”

I could not think of a good enough comeback, so I just decided to drop it. If he wanted to pay for me then he could. It was his money to spend. 

“Send me your address.”

“You still want to come over?” He seemed surprised.

“Yeah,” I nodded, already pulling up the GPS. “What is it?”

He sounded like Charlie when he won the golden ticket as he gave me his address. 

“Don’t get too excited now,” I joked. “Just because I’m coming over doesn’t mean anything.”

Jimin laughed, “I pretend I don’t even know what sex is until after date three, so don’t worry about it.”

That made me laugh, “Get in your truck. I’ll meet you there.”

Looking back at him, I felt giddy. His eyes were so alight, his joy written so clearly across his face it took my breath away. A happy Jimin was the only kind I wanted to see. Blowing caution to the wind, I finally reached out. Touching his stomach, I felt the muscles clench beneath my fingers.

“Thank you,” I said earnestly.

“What for?” He rasped, placing one hand over mine, pressing my hand further into his skin. 

“For-” I broke off, taking my hand away. The feeling of him underneath me was too much. “For being so accommodating. I really appreciate it.”

He laughed, the sound strained and airy. I was too embarrassed by my actions to look at his face, but I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my eyes. Unlike me, Jimin was always brave. Hopefully some of that confidence would rub off on me. Maybe then I could reach out and hold him whenever I wanted to. 

“You’re welcome,” He replied, and my thighs clenched together at how rough he sounded. Did touching him do that? Or was it the praise? It could be both. “Drive safe, okay? You can follow me if that helps.”

I nodded, swallowing. The icy air outside did nothing to put out the blistering heat coursing between us right now. It was overwhelming how hot it was. Turning up my A/C, I pointed the vent directly at my face.

“See you in a few minutes,” I breathed, still unable to look at him.

Jimin closed my door, and I leaned back in my seat breathing heavily. I watched him as he rounded the front of my car, those pants sticking to his legs like a second skin and groaned. I had never felt this level of desire for anyone before. 

He reminded me so much of Namjoon. His beautiful brain and love for music and poetry so reminiscent it managed to bring me back to happier times. In the beginning I was afraid my attraction to him stemmed from that link. Because he reminded me of something I had loved so dearly that meant what I was beginning to feel was just a projection.

I was wrong. So unbelievably wrong. Jimin had a passion that Joon could never replicate. If Joon was a warm blanket, then Jimin was like the tide in the sea. On the surface it was calm, steady, and beautiful. Underneath that was life like nothing I had ever seen before. He was refreshing and filled with this fire for life that reminded me of my own from years ago.

Namjoon was perfect, a boy-next-door, and soft spoken. Back then I had enough of that passion for the both of us. Now I saw more and more parallels between us than ever before. I was uncertain, waiting for someone else to bring excitement back into my life, too afraid to reach out and take what I wanted anymore.

And then Jimin was there with that big smile willing to take me on whatever adventure I desired. All I had to do was ask. It was exhilarating, fun, and I was happy to be a part of the ride. His softness, his kindness, his understanding- all of it wrapped up in a pretty red bow. A gift that kept on giving.

I did not love Jimin, but I knew then that I could. With his sharp tongue and charisma, it was impossible not to. Everyone else did. Who was I to think I could be any different? I was a slave to his happiness. It was in that moment, sitting in my car, that I finally understood what was happening.

I was falling in love and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

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© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Falling Part Five | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Jae tells Lana about the party but you get nervous, not knowing what his intentions with her might be... Pairing: Guardian Angel f!reader x Fallen Angel Jungkook Word Count: 1.5k (sorry I know it's short and horribly edited) a/n: Hey guys so I know I haven't updated this story in months and a few of you have been asking for it so I'm sorry about that. I know this is short but I wanted to put something out for you guys. I'm still stuck on figuring out what's going to happen at the party so that's why this is still a little short but hopefully I'll figure it out and post it soon! Thanks for waiting 💜 Start from the beginning

"Jimin I don't know what to do" I whine, dragging out the last word, "I've been able to avoid the headache of her going to any high school parties but of course when this tall, mysterious, intelligent guy and his friends come around she suddenly decides to go" I complain to him. 

"I mean to be honest I don't blame her. They seem like they're fun and Jae is charming and to be honest out of the lot he's definitely a lot more her speed. I feel like that's why they work so well together" he responds, trying to get me to calm down a bit which helps but I still don't know how I'm going to help her. 

"Maybe you're right. He does seem like a really nice guy and he hasn't done anything wrong. I think just the fact that this is the first guy she's actually shown interest in is making me a bit more nervous" I admit, plopping down on Lana's bed while she continues to study. 

They've known each other for a few weeks and he hasn't shown any signs of really wanting to lead her astray so that's promising. At this point though I don't really know what he does when he's around Jungkook which stresses me out at the very least knowing that Jae has messed up enough to trade his guardian angel for a fallen one. 

"Just keep a close watch and maybe then he'll show his true colors. Lana sounds like a smart girl and you'll be materializing in a few weeks right?" Jimin reminds me. "That's only if she doesn't start to stray and I'm afraid that if she goes to this party that it'll be the beginning of the end for us" I voice, letting all of my worries and doubts out. 

"Just keep praying that she'll stay strong and that she'll focus on staying on the straight and narrow" he say, making it sound easy. "I wish it was that simple" I mumble, turning my head to look at her while she picks up her phone to no doubt, text Jae back from the looks of it. 

"You've been with her since she was conceived and you know her better than anyone. Just put your faith in her and I'm sure you'll make it to materialization. You've done a great job watching over her so, don't doubt yourself" he encourages. 

"I'm sorry but I have to get going now. Let me know how everything turns out alright?" he say before ending the call. "Yes don't worry I will" I reassure him and say our goodbye right as Lana's phone starts to ring.

"Hey!" she greets excitedly, instantly letting me know who it is without even trying, accompanied by the feeling of butterflies in her stomach. 

"I miss you" he says and I instantly gag while she has the polar opposite reaction watching as her cheeks start to warm up. "I miss you too" she says softly. "I wanted to tell you the details of the party tomorrow and also I just wanted to hear your voice" he admits.  

'Could he be any cheesier?' of course Lana is eating it up though. Chances are he's gonna be her first love so I guess I'll just have to get used to this lovey dovey behavior from them. I drown their conversation out, still listening in but only enough to sense if something bad will happen but it's pretty innocent at this point thank God. 

Thinking about all this love stuff is taking me back to when I was young and falling in love with Jungkook...

Eons ago...  

"Go talk to her" Jimin says, elbowing Jungkook in the side and he groans at the contact still with his eyes fully trained on me. 

"She's probably already with someone else" he says, making excuses and tries to walk away but his friend grabs him by his shoulders and turns him around, making him face me again

"She doesn't have a bracelet yet" he points out, looking at my wrists, neither of them adorned with and sort of jewelry. "Just go talk to her" Jimin repeats, pushing on his shoulder and making him stumble, grabbing my attention. 

Jungkook and I make eye contact for a second and he smiles bashfully and I return it before going back to my conversation with a few other female angels. 

"Look he's coming over here!" one of them says once I've turned back towards the group giving the handsome angle my back making me straighten out my wings from their slouched position into a more graceful one. 

"He's probably looking at one of you guys" I say in a hushed tone, all of them having clocked the way he was looking at me, leaving me feeling insecure and pushing away the thoughts that someone as handsome as him would be interested in a lowly angel like myself. 

I hear a man clear his throat behind me and my body goes rigid praying it's not who I think it is having truly thought my friends had been teasing me. 

They all make eyes at me, wordlessly telling me to turn around but when I don't he chances speaking to me to get my attention. 

"Hello" is all he says and the smooth baritone of his voice is more heavenly than any other melody I'd ever heard. "Hi, um we've actually gotta go" one of older angels says and pushes the other girls to the side, herding them over somewhere else and my protests die in my throat once he tries his luck again. 

"I haven't seen you around here before" he says and at that I turn around to face him. My breath is taken away from seeing him up close, his features working in perfect harmony. 

"Um yeah I'm one of the new borns, I guess" I say, still unsure of how everything works around here, referring to my recently aged up status. "Oh, well it's very nice to meet you..." he trails off waiting for me to fill in the blank. "Y/n!" I say quickly, embarrassed to have left a longer gap between his question and my answer. 

"That's a beautiful name" he says, testing how my name sounds on his lips. I swear I never want anyone to address me by my name ever again unless it's by him or God. "Oh and you are?" I question, forgetting to return his interest. 

"Jungkook" he says, a name that I had never heard before but pray would be one I would utter again and again. "It's nice to meet you Jungkook" and I can see how his eyes light up and his wings slightly raise behind him, obviously happy to have heard his name from my lips as well. 

And from that moment onwards we started falling. Madly, deeply and hopelessly in love. That is, until he fell...

"JK said the party starts around 8 so I can pick you up around that time if you'd like" I hear Jae's voice say through the speaker. "Oh okay, yeah that works!" Lana says but she sounds a bit wary. 

"What's wrong?" Jae asks, clocking her change in demeanor. "It's just that my curfew is 10 so I wont be able to stay for very long and because you're the one JK's throwing the party for I wouldn't want you to have to deal with leaving early to take me home or anything" she says and he nods his head, thinking for a second. 

"What about this. Why don't we just go and hang out there for like an hour and then we'll leave and spend the rest of that time together on our own before your curfew" he suggests and she lights up at the idea. "I'd like that" she smiles shyly, a fluttery feeling in her stomach again, no doubt from the thought of spending true alone time with him for the first time.

"You sure you want to miss out on the party?" Lana questions, starting to feel guilty about it all. "The party is gonna go on all night so if I feel up to it I can always go back later on. You're the only one I really want to spend time with" he admits and again I can't help but roll my eyes. 

At least he's honest though but I really hope this night ends with a simple goodnight kiss. 'Please Jae for the love of God don't pressure Lana into losing her innocence' I offer as a silent plea. 

Lana is someone I've been entrusted to and I will do everything in my power to make sure that she stays safe. One boy is not gonna ruin this for her, she's stronger than this and I know that. I just need to keep reminding myself and stop doubting her. 

I've gotta put my faith in her just like Jimin said, and pray to God Jae's intentions are pure. Please Jungkook, don't encourage him to do this, I know it's your sole purpose to lead him astray, but please, not Lana...

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[xuxueee]

Clearing things up a bit-

(I think I did a bad job at it, but here's all I want to say)

Based on my complains for SaneGiyu in my posts, I think people get the wrong message. Yes, I do not like the SaneGiyu dynamic and much rather prefer GiyuSane over it, BUT PEOPLE THINK OF ME AS A HATER!! I AM NOT! What i hate is the mischaracterization! And I don't just hate it in SaneGiyu, I hate it in all the other different ships as well! I can't stand it. And no people, me saying Giyuu is not a twink and Sanemi this big bad alpha male isn't me mischaracterizing the ships either! In someone's post I litterly saw people saying about how GiyuSane shippers complain about SaneGiyu mischaracterization when "their doing the same thing themselves"- yeah, that shit does not happen on Tumblr maybe other websites like Wattpad and YT Gacha, but like litterly little kids are making those, ain't an excuse either. But like gurl why be people completely ignoring the actual problem and jump on something else to make the people seem bad? I'm fed up with this shit, and the SaneGiyu fans that reblogged and commented on my post come up with the most shit excuses about the problem, I've addressed this before, one of my post was reblogged by someone and they tagged the post with something similar like "just to make this clear SaneGiyu is where Sanemi top" and some other shit excuses like that, homegirl that's not the problem IT AIN'T. It doesn't matter who tops or bottoms, what matters is what people do with it. Okay sure let's say with some peoples preference Giyuu bottoms in SaneGiyu, is that reason to make Giyuu this cry baby uwu twink AND attack you when you clear out shit? Hell to the Hell no. I get if that's their guilty pleasure (obviously their not guilty at all for sharing and claiming that Giyuu is actually this) but why avoid the damn truth? If you like twinks So much make your own oc at this point don't get such a loved character and shape it how ever you want. So shut up with your excuses. Even with Sanemi, just because his show to be this aggressively strong character doesn't mean his abusive or ruthless when it comes to his loved ones. People really forget how gentle Sanemi actually is and do not want to believe it, because it does not fit the fiction in their head.

Again, I know I'm seeming like a hater, and I do hate these kinda shippers, but gurl this doesn't mean I go around hating every SaneGiyu posts or litterly anything SaneGiyu I FOLLOW SANEGIYU SHIPPERS! ARTIST, WRITERS, FANS!! I AM FRIENDS WITH SANEGIYU SHIPPERS! 😭 The ships itself isn't my damn problem, the problem is how it has the most mischaracterizon in it! I'm not say GiyuSane shippers are perfect either, nor am I saying that all ships are perfect except SaneGiyu. So really, what's your problem?

I do want to apologize for my own hateful stuff thought. I did say some messed up shit about SaneGiyu, especially on my SaneGiyu analysis chart which I did edit out to be more respectful, I did a shitty move, and I'm sorry about it. I'm trying to be more respectful, I can get a mad, I do have to agree on that, but I still will like to take responsibility on my actions. If you guys have any companies about me and my behavior please either send me on DM, or an asks anonymously or not.

And also, my post are just rants and complains, I've cleared it out before, they are not meant to be taken seriously whatso ever, nor are they personal (the SaneGiyu chart might have been since I took reference two SaneGiyu hc charts).

[vhyunjinverse]

Purple Converse

gn!reader x mgg (fluff)

summary: the first time you saw him was on a Tuesday- your first day. he came into the store smiling despite it being so early in the morning..

warnings: none !

“Excuse me, do you guys have this in a size 11?” You knew that voice, it was Matthew (or so his rewards account said). He held a box up of a purple converse shoe with a small awaiting smile. You smiled back of course, it was your job after all, but one from Matthew was surely contagious.

“Let me check, yeah? I’m sure we do, though.” you chuckle. He nodded, pursing his lips as you took the box.

You leave him be to go to the back of your post. You’ve worked at this shoe store for nearly a year, and you haven’t seen anyone walk in there almost regularly as Matthew. When you first met it had been your first day when he strode in all tall. In fact, he was the first customer to arrive- early in the morning when the store opened. He seemed to be in a hurry as the converse on his feet were about to fall apart. They were red and tied in a way you’ve seen before. With every step you could see the outline of two completely different socks on his feet. What a weirdo, you had thought.

All you could see was his fluffy hair and glasses over the shelves as he went straight for the isle of converse shoes. More people started to walk in and it made you nervous. Before then, all the other jobs you’d have weren’t exactly working with people face to face. Normally you’d be editing or designing some work online as commissions. Only online work, never in person.

With your eyes trained on the man scanning the isle, your hands nervously fidgeted with the name tag on your shirt. Moments later he was in front of you, tapping on the box lightly. “I’d like to get these please” His voice was soft, professional-like. It made your heart flutter in a bit of a panic.

“Oh! yes of- of course. Will that be all sir?” you cleared your throat feeling it run dry. You avoided eye contact with him, and instead grabbed the box to scan it. They were a high top pair of red converses, size 11.

He hummed before grabbing a pack of shoe laces from a rack on the counter. “These too, thank you.”

“Of course” you whispered. After scanning his items and placing them into the store bag. “Do you have a number or an account with us?” You say the words slowly and carefully, the practice you’ve done the night before seemed to vanish. “You can earn points and discounts.” you smile. He nods and leans in very closely- shocking you.

“I’m sorry for the lack of space, i didn’t want anyone else hearing my number out loud.” he giggles before calling out the numbers to you. You nod and pull back slowly to type it into the computer. The name “Matthew Gubler” pops up.

“Well, Matthew, you have a discount for $20 off, do you want to use it today?” You watch him pull out his wallet while shaking his head. “Not today!” he hands you the money and does a little bow before taking off.

“Wait your change-“

“Keep it! See you next time.”

And you did see him next time. It was a week later when he was coming in to get another pair of converse- low top and green. They didn’t have them in stores so he got them ordered and sent to the store for pickup.

When he came in he was all smiles again, this time wearing sunglasses. The store was crowdy. By now you were used to work the register and such so it wasn’t much of a hassle. It was only when that head of hair was in your view and Matthew’s beautiful smile loomed over you that you felt a little nervous. “Hey there Matthew. You..have an order actually.” You click your tongue to pull up his account in the computer.

“That I do. How’s your day going…Y/N?” he reads your name tag.

“Busy much. You?”

“Same here. I’m actually on my way out of town in a few hours for work. Wanted to get my shoes first.” he laughs. You smile and nod, holding up a finger to go and grab the perfectly wrapped box of converse.

“You know, i’ve only ever seen you wear these- or pick them up. How many pairs of converse does one man need huh?” You attempted at joking. Matthew laughed however, taking the box from your hands. “You can’t never have too many. They’re also very comfortable.”

“And the socks?” you pressed, “You’re a bit strange you know?” You check off his order, watching the line pileup behind him.

“I’ll tell you another time, how about that?”

And he did, and your relationship with Matthew started. You anticipated his arrival to the store you worked at. It made you happier. He had told you many things from your small meetings at the counter- what he did job wise, acting (which got you hooked on the show he acted in), painting, directing, being an author too- and a model? You were shocked really, how someone so energetic did so much and still had the time to buy shoes in store whenever he wanted.

You told him about yourself as well, how you’re also somewhat of an artist, and your small hobbies of crafting. You told a lot- from your favorite foods to your favorite style of clothing (his style of course). When you didn’t work you found yourself sitting with Matthew as he tried on sweaters from a thrift store not far from your apartment. If you weren’t thrifting, it was painting pottery with Matthew when he wasn’t working and free, being sure to grab food afterwards and hanging out.

He become an amazing friend to have. You even sat and watched the show he was in together (him laughing while you tried to piece together who the unsub was). You grew closer by the months that passed by. And so did Matthew’s converse collection.

He had FINALLY showed you after a month of asking (and him being away because of work). It wasn’t what you expected however- they were all stacked on top of each up messily with the strings hanging out of them, but ready to be worn. You remember telling Matthew he needed to take care of his shoes and no wonder he came in so much. But in that moment he said something..well, crazy.

“I only came in because just sitting there talking to you would’ve made me look suspicious and kept you from work. I’ve donated lots of these shoes, i wear them, yes, but they don’t last forever.”

The thought made you chuckle to yourself as you reached up and grabbed the size 11 box of purple converse, Matthew’s name written on it from you personally just for the occasion. When you came back to the front he was tracing a picture framed at your station of you two hugging.

“Will this be all?” you held out the box. He straightened up and smiled,

“For now?” he leans in and pecks your lips, “Yeah.”

[fixing-bad-posts]

I looked around and didn't see anything about this on your blog but I apologize if I missed it.

I was wondering, what does doing the work behind this blog...feel like? I guess what I'm asking is if it does anything to you. Like, I had a thought. For a flash, I imagined you as Butters from South Park in that episode where he is tasked with filtering out all the negative comments on Cartman's social media. It ended up really messing with Butters, what with him having to see all that negativity.

You're definitely not being affected to that extreme, I assume, but I wonder if you would have anything to say about the process of finding these negative posts and reading them several times to edit them. Has it exposed you to unpleasantness that you wouldn't have otherwise seen? Or is there perhaps a kind of catharsis in editing such filth?

I'm making a lot of assumptions here. Maybe I'm also asking about your process. I just think what you're doing is neat and would love to hear about your experience with it.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have plenty of reasons to feel joy <3

oh boy, i love talking about myself haha—so thank you for giving me an excuse to do so! i have answered similar questions in the past, though never at length. every once in a while, someone pops into the inbox to ask about my mental health (which, rest assured, is just fine—i don’t put this blog’s operation above anything; it’s honestly pretty low on my list of life-priorities), and it’s always quite sweet. having a mob of strangers following one’s sideblog has its perks: one being that sometimes parasociality results in some well wishes, kind thoughts, and general goodwill. which is very nice, and probably an unearned vanity-boost for my ego.

what does the work behind this blog feel like? in turns: mundane, challenging, vindicating, annoying, amusing… and probably other things that i’m forgetting. most of the work i do on this blog is actually me procrastinating! i am a certified adult with a job™, and i’m definitely guilty of slacking off at work sometimes to queue posts submissions from my inbox, which is more fun than like… proofreading financial documents and making spreadsheets. other times, i’m sitting in a café with my partner, and allegedly i’m “writing” fanfiction. but, uh, if you know any writers, you know that sometimes “writing” means, ‘looking at a blinking cursor’. so it’s in those moments that i open up tumblr and start writing image descriptions and adding tags to prep posts for my queue. that’s mainly when the blog feels mundane.

something that i think helps me avoid negative doomscroll-spirals is that i don’t actively seek out bad posts for this blog. being a citizen of the internet delivers fodder to me naturally. that, and running a semi-popular sideblog on tumblr. when i see a bad post in the wild, that’s when the feeling is annoying/challenging. challenging, because ever since starting this sideblog, hateful posts don’t feel as vicious to me. once i see them, they stop being posts and turn into word-puzzles. and i love word puzzles!

solving the word puzzle is amusing for me, as is getting to look at my resulting “blackout poem.” it makes me laugh, it stretches my brain. when i started, i used to have to read a post several times to find the ‘good post within the bad post’ so to speak. these days, i’m so used to it, i barely read the bad posts more than a handful of times. but as i was saying to my partner, one of the reasons i love found poetry (erasure poetry, and cut-up poetry) is that it uses the same part of my brain that loves scrabble (the board game). then, of course, it's vindicating to see my posts get so many notes, sometimes surpassing the original bad post. that's more of my own vanity, i'm sure.

as for the last part of your message: yes, i have plenty of reasons to feel joy. i work with people who respect me, i live walking distance from a bubble tea café, and have friends and family whom i love. i have the good fortune to be safely out as a queer person. i’m a fanbinder. i’m currently working on a long fanfiction which is getting some very nice comments on ao3. and i’ve recently decided to become a poet (like, for real).

i must admit, i’m fascinated by how you imagine me. i often wonder how i am perceived, especially because i keep many cards close to my chest here on my sideblog.

anyhow, thank you for this excuse to ramble about myself and the process of running this blog. i hope you also have plenty of reasons to feel joy 💛

[someshakespearequote]

Random speculation about Taash and Qunari in general: (no real spoilers, but I talk about Tevinter Nights and some of what we've seen in general previews)

In DAO, Sten was our first look at the Qunari, a simple but deep believer. This was like if you dropped a blue-collar soldier into another country. They'd be giving you the basics of their country's belief system.

In DA2, the Qunari were more alien and antagonistic, and we got to dive into the mind of the Arishok in some places, really seeing how his thought process worked. A commander who has had more time to philosophize but is still a soldier, a different view.

In DAI, we get Bull, who gives us our most sympathetic look at someone grappling with whether to leave the Qun. He's a former soldier broken by his experiences (Trick Weekes compared Seheron to Afghanistan and said that while they didn't give Bull full PTSD (to avoid stepping on the toes of Cullen's arc, I think), Bull does talk in some places about hyperawareness and always knowing where the exits of a building are.) He's cynical and seems to feel that people are just people, and the Qunari philosophy is just rules to make people not kill each other, like the Chantry is supposed to do for humans.

Some people have complained about that, and I'm honestly on the fence. Do I want the Qunari to be more alien and unique, with a really different philosophy, or do I want them to be "just people"? I can see both sides. It reminds me of the arguments that have been circulating about the revised edition of D&D 5e. In the original 5e, you had ability score bonuses locked to certain races, and you had strongly worded suggestions about how to play those races. Yuan-Ti should always be evil. Half-Orcs should probably be evil but at least be chaotic and hot-tempered. In the expansion books to 5e, the devs seemed to listen to feedback and untethered ability scores from race, and in the revised edition, race (now "species") doesn't affect ability scores at all (it's tied to backgrounds, which are like jobs), and the rules make it clear that there's room for a genius scholar half-orc or a softhearted Yuan-Ti. You might have a nation of evil Yuan-Ti, but that stuff wasn't genetic. D&D heard what its players wanted, which was less "Your personality is innately tied to your species," and modified the rules accordingly.

And this feels like Dragon Age doing the same thing. Bull is humanizing the Qunari. Do they still have all the fancy Qunari stuff? Yes, in the same way that humanity in Dragon Age has the Chantry and elves have the elven gods and their stories. But the Qunari who act like Sten or the Arishok did are now over on one side as true believers/hard-liners.

So what are we getting in Veilguard from Taash?

Given that the events of the Tevinter Nights novels set up the Qunari Antaam as breaking away from the Qun and invading the south, it seems likely we'll be fighting them in some places. So these are our hard-liners, although they've broken away from the Qun, so if anything, they're the equivalent of evangelical "Christians" who talk about God's Army destroying the heretics and really just mean "fellow white people" when they say "Christian" -- the Antaam aren't following the Qun anymore. They're just using it as a handy guide to identify members of the in-group. They're Sten or the Arishok with all the tribalism and none of the philosophy (or at least, they are in Tevinter Nights, to the point where one of them gets killed by a Ben-Hassrath for giving Qunari a bad name).

My initial theory was that Taash was going to be the flip side of the Antaam -- the philosophy without the tribalism. It doesn't look like Taash is a formal follower of the Qun, though, which made this initially tough to believe.

She (they? we'll know in a week and a bit!) does have a Qunari name, though, likely something related to "dragon" or "glory", since it looks likely that the name Taash relates to Ataash (glory) or Ataashi (dragon). Taash also wears the arm-ropes, so either those ropes are just terribly comfortable, or Taash still keeps some elements of Qunari tradition. It feels like we can assume this isn't a complete "human with horns", culturally (a vashoth, to use the formal term), like Inquisitor Adaar if you made a Qunari Inquisitor in DAI.

My best guess at trying to figure out the little contradictions from what we've seen so far is that Taash is a first- or second-generation immigrant -- someone who left the Qun young or was raised by someone who left the Qun before Taash was born. (That also fits with Rivain, which had a peaceful, even friendly, relationship with the Qunari, at least before the Antaam broke off and attacked.) If Taash's story is an immigrant story, then that lets us look at the Qun in a new way -- someone who left (or was born having already left) the Qun formally, but who (unlike Bull) still keeps many of the cultural traditions while living in a new country.

Maybe Taash begrudgingly keeps a few of the Qunari traditions taught by family, but doesn't don't think much of them?

Maybe Taash was raised with no Qunari traditions but has grown more interested in exploring Qunari heritage as an adult (while not being willing to actually join the Qun)?

Whatever it is, and I'm confident that it's going to be something in that neighborhood, I hope it gives us a new way to look at the Qun and make Thedas a little more complex. (And also that however it does that works with a fun cool character exploration of Taash!)

Or possibly I have just smashed my keyboard a whole bunch while making no sense whatsoever, which wouldn't be the first time I had thoughts that made sense in my head but not here.

[neuroticbookworm]

Step by Step Episode 10, A Retrospective Analysis

I have been a staunch supporter of the writing in this show (here and here), even when the pacing and editing have felt a little stilted in places. I have always maintained that the show understands its characters and does an excellent job of connecting them to the audience via some brilliant writing. But episode 10 felt like it was from a completely different writing crew, and I was left feeling bereft and confused. I took some time to understand why, and I'm gonna share my observations in this post.

Disclaimer: I am actually okay with the place the plot is currently at. I think that it is logical that Jeng and Pat are having these problems from the outside world that are affecting their relationship. My friend and BL Ajahn @bengiyo pointed out in his rapid fire takes that Jeng is exhausted and just wants to ignore the shit that's happening around him and enjoy his time with Pat. @shortpplfedup echoes the same sentiment that JengPat are lost in each other and desperately ignoring the rest of the world. And I agree.

What I want to explore here is that while the episode did leave me at an agreeable point in the narrative, it left me there feeling incredibly unsatisfied (my bestie @lurkingshan talks about the lack of emotional catharsis here) and how very easy it would've been to course correct and preserve that audience-character connection.

The episode opens strong, with Chot telling Pat exactly why the way he is responding is hurtful to Jeng's feelings. "Saying that you don't believe him, it's like you were looking down on his feelings." Hits the nail right on the head. Pat then runs to Pearl & Oliver to meet Jeng on his birthday with *shudder* a carrot cake.

At the restaurant, Pat meets Jeng, and we hit the first snag. Pat asks Jeng if he still likes him, and when Jeng responds with a head nod, Pat breaks down. So Jeng makes his feelings clear one last time, and this makes Pat fire off question after question: "Why are you avoiding me?", "Why are you leaving the company?" and "Why can't I be the one who resigns?". Jeng takes a second to collect himself and answers "I'm not avoiding you" (a bald-faced lie, he is avoiding Pat because Pat told him to stay away), "I'm not leaving, I'm only changing positions" and "I started it, I should have to fix it myself".

I'm typing out this exchange word for word because it shows where Jeng and Pat are emotionally at the moment. Jeng has already made moves to make himself scarce around Pat, and seems to be on the path to moving on after Pat's rejection. He also feels responsible for this mess, he is aware of the pain and confusion Pat was processing before his confession, and he has now added to it. Pat is visibly distressed that he has made matters worse by not articulating his thoughts better.

And now Pat says "But I also like you" and leans into Jeng's shoulder, crying, and Jeng takes a moment, smiles, and says "Now we're together". And this is where the show starts to lose me. Jeng desperately wants to be with Pat and is still pining over him, yes, but he has also made concrete decisions to step away from this situation, which takes deliberating on the effect the events of episode 8 have had on both him and Pat, and concluding that the right and healthy thing to do for the both of them is for him to step away.

This is why I think Jeng would have uttered more than a "Now we're together" at that moment. He would've shown concern, or at the very least, he would've wanted to ask again, if Pat was sure. I hate an unnecessary "Are you sure?" moment that holds no weight as much as the next person, but here it would've made all the difference. Pat is sobbing, tears and snot running down his face, when he confesses to Jeng. Didn't the show go to painstaking lengths to show us the differences between Put and Jeng? I want to believe that the Jeng who was established for the last 9 episodes, even while nursing a broken heart, would've stopped and taken a moment to make sure that Pat is alright, he has thought this through, and this is not an impulse decision made on Jeng's birthday due to guilt.

An "Are you sure?" and a full body hug with both of them deep exhaling all their worries away for a moment, in each other's arms would've transformed the tone of this scene completely, and would've brought the characters in line with their established personalities, without compromising the direction the plot wants to take in the rest of this episode.

According to popular consensus here on Tumblr, Jeng's arc in this episode seemed to be one where he is overwhelmed by the complications his relationship with Pat will bring, and that makes him want to disassociate and only focus on Pat and his desire for him. I would've happily taken this read, if they had shown Jeng TRYING in the beginning and THEN rapidly failing. We know (by implication) that his previous relationship played a role in his leaving the company before. So we saw him make very careful strides in the past episodes, and crossing boundaries when his brain is overwhelmed by desire (re: sharing a bed, filming Pat when he's drunk, the speakeasy).

When Pat rejects him, his mind gets clouded. He had been so focused on doing it right this time, and it has still gone wrong, somehow. And when Pat tells him to stop pursuing him, he now has to focus his energy on making it right and keeping the workplace comfortable for Pat. And finally, when Pat comes to confess his feelings, Jeng is mentally exhausted from the back and forth, yes, but he has no reason to feel it yet. There are no eyes on them yet, no judgements that need to be navigated. He must be elated, to have Pat reciprocate his feelings. So when Pat asks him "So from now on. what are we?" and Jeng doesn't loudly proclaim FAEN, it fells ..off. He just had sex with the person who was living in his mind, rent-free for a whole year, on a kitchen counter surrounded by glass walls; he has no reason to feel melancholia yet.

If we had been gradually let into Jeng's mental state, shown how the fear of judgement from the others AND his logical but tired brain overworking to figure out how to make this work, how to circumvent his past mistakes and failings, were getting to him, the episode would've hit a completely devastating emotional beat. And we could've watched Pat's regression in parallel, struggling with his newfound emotional stability in the workplace, because he couldn't help but notice how Jeng was choosing to ignore problems rather than deal with them.

This gradual descent would've also explained Jeng's communication blackout with Pat. Had we gotten two scenes with them at the dinner table at home or a restaurant, one at the beginning of the relationship, with Jeng and Pat enjoying each other's company, and one near the end of the episode, with Jeng hazy and quiet? It would've sunk me to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

And I don't want the explanation that the new relationship haze is clouding their minds. I'm always on Team "Fuck Through Your Problems". Them going at it like rabbits was not the issue in this episode. The issue is that we did not get to see ANYTHING ELSE. We did not see the domesticity shine through when the relationship was new, and slowly tarnish as time passed. The message that queer relationships face undue pressure from society that may affect every couple, regardless of how well matched they are, could've been conveyed with such an amazing contrast, between PutPat and JengPat.

We could've screamed and squealed at the fluff and smut, at P'Jeng and Nong Pat, and weeped as the episode slowly tore our hearts open from our chests. We could've had it all, Tee Bundit. Instead, this is what you chose to give us.

tagging my besties @waitmyturtles, and @lurkingshan who are in the trenches with me and @wen-kexing-apologist who wrote the post that gave me a lone ray of sunshine in all the madness

[sgiandubh]

Hey, Miss Marple

You posted this "lesson" (your words) roughly three hours ago:

...when you probably already knew I posted also this, by the time you were wasting precious energy that could surely be better used towards compiling new timelines:

How do I know you couldn't help but still go for it?

Precedents exist. And your army of terracotta sock accounts, too. You used it before: last winter, to be exact, the last time somebody (SHW) challenged you openly. Since she does not take asks and submissions, you or your minions had to send DMs. Too bad.

The same thing happened to me ever since I dared blocking you. At least 5 to 10 sock accounts are blocked on a daily basis. Particular Anons: very telegraphic, quite nasty and different from the usual Mediterranean circus. Most never make it in here.

You then proceeded with velvet poisoning. A slow enterprise, very satisfactory, I think. You first compared me to Emily and almost called me a lunatic, with a sort of cold violence that speaks volumes. Afterwards, you managed to mention me, always in a faintly derogatory way (fair's fair, I suppose), but always altering the truth.

You did it again today:

Just a reminder, geachte mevrouw. I wrote this a while ago and it pissed off many, many people on your side of the trenches:

Yes, that pretzel logic post:

Where I did not analyze anything, let alone a video I never watched. What I did, is expressing an opinion and (isn't it ironic?) pleading for decency. That yes, I very much did and I hope you realize that writing down what you think about something is not punishable by law in a democratic country.

You also manage to call me arrogant, hungry for clicks, stupid and intolerant. All in one post that, objectively speaking, gathers less notes and reblogs than a Scottish ballad being shared on this blog. But this is not a pissing contest, madam and I will stop here with this kind of arguments.

You do you. I do me.

I always own my actions and I always edit my posts or amend my judgements when proven wrong. Always. It is a matter of morality.

Do you?

Thank God I am not always right. Thank God I have a wonderful job and a formidable family. Thank God I have many friends and a very rich life and past, already. And thank God for all the kind people on this side, who are not 'my sheep' (I think you might know very well what I am talking about) and whom I very rapidly grew fond of. All of them and despite our clear differences in understanding the mechanics of SS SamCait.

And if I can do something good for this terrible place, so be it. Your very deep, very ugly, gratuitous hatred will not stop me.

Your obsession with S is not my problem anymore. Cynically speaking, it was fun to watch for a while. I now have the full map of your character and I am very sorry to say: the thing that always bothers me the most is a lie.

I do not guarantee I will not mention you anymore. That would be an empty promise. But I now know more about the person behind the page and will stick to very cursory reference. Not a pretty picture and I am very sorry to say that: I never do it lightly.

[hunieday]

Yuki - Daily Life Rabbit chat part 4 - Re:vale and flower crowns

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Yuki: Maneko-chan, do you like going on drives?

Takanashi Tsumugi: Thank you for your hard work. I do enjoy driving, so I go on drives quite often!

Takanashi Tsumugi: Is there something I can help you with?

Yuki: Momo and I both managed to get a day off together this weekend.

Yuki: We thought it’d be nice to go on a drive.

Takanashi Tsumugi: I’m glad you managed to take a day off! Good for you…!

Takanashi Tsumugi: 

Yuki: Thank you.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Have you decided on where you’re going?

Yuki: Not yet.

Yuki: I'm considering several options

Yuki: Maneko-chan, do you have any recommendations?

CHOICE:

1) What kind of places do you like?

Yuki: I prefer quiet places with as little populace as possible. I feel most at ease at home, but if I'm outside, I like places that aren't too crowded.

2) What did you do during your last day off?

Yuki: Momo's acquaintance had a live performance in a different band, so we went to the live house to watch. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to enjoy that kind of vibe.

3) Where does Momo like to go?

Yuki: Anywhere I go?  "As long as Yuki’s there, it's a world heritage-level power spot!" he says

Takanashi Tsumugi: In that case, how about a roadside station?

Takanashi Tsumugi: I visited one during a location shoot, and they regularly held some markets where local farmers sold fresh vegetables!

Takanashi Tsumugi: There were food stalls and limited edition sweets as well, and everyone seemed to really enjoy their time.

Yuki: Ohh, sounds nice.

Yuki: Apparently roadside stations in some regions are getting really popular recently

Takanashi Tsumugi: Those are precisely the places we were filming at! There was a flower field nearby as well and they held a workshop class teaching people how to make flower crowns. Tamaki-san and Sougo-san tried their hands at making them.

Yuki: That's cute

Yuki: Did they manage it?

Takanashi Tsumugi: Yes! Tamaki-san already knew how to make them, so he did an excellent job!

Takanashi Tsumugi: Sougo-san learned from Tamaki-san and managed to make a beautiful one in the end.

Yuki: I think I’m gonna make some with Momo as well

Yuki: A flower crown would look good on Momo, don’t you think?

Takanashi Tsumugi: I think it would suit him perfectly...!

Yuki: Exactly. The only problem is if I can make it

Takanashi Tsumugi: Sougo-san said that it's not hard once you understand the structure.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Apparently the workshops are less crowded on weekdays, so please give it a try!

Yuki: Thanks. I'll ask Momo about it too

Takanashi Tsumugi: 

Takanashi Tsumugi: You have a drama shoot after this, right?

Takanashi Tsumugi: I won't be available today due to other engagements, so please take care of Yamato-san for me.

Yuki: Oh

Takanashi Tsumugi: Is something wrong?

Yuki: Yamato-kun just came to greet me backstage

Takanashi Tsumugi:

Yuki: I told him about the trip I’m planning with you

Takanashi Tsumugi: Th-that might cause some misunderstandings...!?

Yuki: Misunderstandings?

Yuki: I don't know what you’re talking about

Takanashi Tsumugi: He might think we’re going on a road trip together…

Yuki: I’m doing it on purpose ^^

Takanashi Tsumugi:

Yuki: "Whatever, you’re going with Momo-san", he said.

Yuki: He’s so not cute for not falling for it

Takanashi Tsumugi: I'm glad we avoided any misunderstandings…><

Yuki: My manager scolded me and told me not to tease him too much, so I’ll leave it at that.

Takanashi Tsumugi:

Yuki: Yamato-kun looks very botherable right now, so I'll go play with him

Takanashi Tsumugi: Thank you for your hard work!

[iwritesometimes]

OC Tag Game: Rook Edition

tagged by my beloved @northstarfan - YAY ty bb! I've been working off and on trying to finish some Rook writeups since uh. January. But this one is the first I've managed to finish. 😅

tagging anyone who'd like to have a go who has played/is playing Veilguard!

I will also be doing this from Rook's POV as in previous reblogs, bc I love this idea. HOWEVER you are legally required to imagine her working her way through successive LARGE flagons of ale as she talks. okay let's go.

GENERAL

Name: Sihu Ingellvar

Alias: None really, besides the obvious, Rook. With my mates back home, we use each other's surnames day-to-day, and it seems strange at this point when anyone calls me Sihu.

Gender: Female

Age: 34

Place of birth: We'll never know for sure, but my life began in the __________ family crypt of the Grand Necropolis of Nevarra City.

Spoken languages: Nevarran and Trade, and I am trying to get better with the Orzammarian branch that surfacers tend to use with each other - it's about a third Carta cant; don't tell the humans. I can hold a conversation in it with a patient companion, but down the pub most of the talk flies right by me.

Sexual orientation: Unbothered. I haven't had much of it in my life, but the type of person was different each of those times, except that they were all friends of mine. I like feeling comfortable with whoever they are, mostly.

Occupation: Grand Necropolis guard and thanatologist, til all that went to shit. After this job with Varric, who knows - maybe I can find someplace quiet that needs a person to handle their village funeral rites.

FAVORITES

Color: Silver, ridiculous as that is. And the color of pure lyrium does something strange and good to my soul.

Entertainment: Talking with friends over a drink, reading, walking the streets of whatever city I'm in. I like to sightsee. And I really like to spar.

Pastime: It's a bit of a cheater's answer, but...tending graves. Yes, it was my job and my education, but it still calms me like almost nothing else. I like making the homes of the dead neat and tidy, making sure their candles are lit and their flowers cared for. I love ringing the bells, speaking the rituals, making the hand signs or grave offerings - whatever that person needs from me. It's fun to remember all those details, or go look up the ones I don't know as well, or learn the totally new ones. Hah, I could talk about this for hours, and it wouldn't make any more sense than it does now.

Food: Nevarran rice, with lots of cheese and peppers and spiced vegetables with pickles on the side. Festival frybread dusted with sugar and drizzled in honey, eaten painfully hot right from a vendor's stall in Newmarket Square. Oh, and all washed down with good cold ale. 

Drink: Beer if it's not too bitter.

Books: Dwarven history and folktales, but only if it's written by dwarves. Anything about funerary practices, boringly, and architecture, a bit less so. And...I admit to having a weakness for adventure serials - I was a fan of Hard in Hightown years before I knew Varric Tethras was a real person, let alone someone I might meet. If you breathe a word of that to him...

HAVE THEY…

Passed university: With honors, if you'll permit me to be insufferable a moment.

Had sex: Yes, and...recently, very much yes. I didn't know it could be quite so nice, honestly.

Had sex in public: Only once where other living souls could see. Uh, much more frequently where spirits were certainly getting an eyeful. A bit hard to avoid it, where I'm from.

Gotten tattoos: Yes, with some of my friends in the dwarven enclave - a few of us wanted to take hold of that part of our culture, try to...immerse ourselves a bit more. We studied as much history on dwarf tattooing as we could find, shadowed some artists in the neighborhood (they call themselves "engravers," which I like a lot) to learn how and why they did it, and took our time picking out the designs we wanted for ourselves. Then we all got drunk and had them done all together one day, holding each other's hands and weeping - not from the pain, mostly.

Gotten piercings: No. There's a kind of old-fashioned way of thinking in Nevarra, especially among the Mortalitasi, that piercing the flesh for jewelry is a bit stupid, or a waste of good grave gold - since you can't take your skin with you, you know. Piercing has this air of foreign custom about it (though who knows whether it got here from Tevinter or Orlais first) that has always made it unfashionable, even taboo, though almost no one under the age of sixty would express it in exactly those terms. And plenty of younger people now like getting their ears or noses pierced, especially if they're wealthy or well-positioned enough not to have to worry about the gossip they might stir up in the street. That not being the case for me, and in general it not really being something people were doing around me as I grew up, I never did indulge, though Taash and Neve have been making some awfully suspicious noises about taking a needle to my ears every time we all get a little too in our cups.

Gotten scars: Gods, yes - innumerable little cuts and dings from training, a burn mark on my right inner arm from being clumsy with some votive candles when I was a girl, a nastier scar on my left cheek from the civil war, though I think it might fade with time. And a scar on my belly from having my appendix removed decades ago. It's history; I don't mind any of it.

Had a broken heart: Many times, in small ways, but only once in a way I think maybe I'll never really come back from. They do say you can't go home again, don't they?

Been in love: With my work, with my home, and...yes, now I can say I have been in love with a person, too.

ARE THEY…

A cuddler: Not really, though I'm beginning to learn the art. 

Scared easily: Oh, very easily, but I learned from very young how to feel scared, acknowledge feeling scared, and carry on with what needs to be done. But don't ever think I'm not doing it all terrified.

Jealous easily: Nah. Life's too damn short.

Trustworthy: I have no idea how to answer this question. I try to be? You'd probably better ask the people I've disappointed over my life.

FAMILY

Siblings: None by blood, though being raised in a necropolis creche is a bit like being in a house full of noisy siblings, or cousins maybe. I didn't stay close with all of them as we grew, and more than one was unwilling to carry on knowing me after everything went bad back home, but two are still my best friends, and some of the dwarves from the enclave in Nevarra City are just as close to my heart. They would be the family I would keep around me, if I didn't know how wretched that would make all of them. We'll see if we can get on as well through letters.

Parents: A mystery that I'm happy to leave unsolved, though I doubt I'll be able to forever. I have...a particular fondness for one of the Necropolis residents, a being called Vorgoth. No one knows whether he's more spirit or more lich or something as yet undefined - and if he knows, he's not telling - but he takes a special interest in the well-being of foundlings among the tombstones, and he has listened to the silly and serious outpourings of my foolish heart on more than one occasion. I don't think of him as a father, exactly, but he's something more than a friend.

Children: Not in the cards for me, I think, and that's probably for the best.

Pets: I once kept a pretty little lizard who had wandered into my room in the dormitory from spirits know where - I checked and it was a species that mostly lives in the desert and is only rarely seen near cities. Knowing I couldn't just release it in an alleyway without likely dooming it, I made up a glass enclosure for it in my room (very much against policy, obviously) and did my best for it. It lived a surprisingly long time, and I came to think of it as a little friend. I called it that, in dwarven - Salroka. Then one day, a couple of years later, I came back to my room and it had died, its little rainbow scales all drab and grey. I had seen countless dead by that point - people who died of old age, of sickness, or bad luck, of foolishness. It was an honor to attend every one. But something about holding that little creature's body in my hand, never having gotten to speak with it or know it, not knowing right away what funeral rites or words to say over it...something about that crushed me deeply. I still can't think of it without getting sad, which I know is insane. But ever since then, the idea of being responsible for another little voiceless creature's life and eventual death has felt like too great a responsibility, and it seems hubris to think that responsibility should be mine. So I haven't tried keeping another pet, again.

...Apologies. I probably should not have had that third mug of ale.