#Drug plans

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Danny is just a kid ya know? Like he is just a little guy. A baby really. 14? Tiny child! Look at him, he needs to be protected. Someone has to help this poor little dude. I mean he forgets to use his own powers to avoid attacks all the time.

Anyway cut to Batfam not knowing all of Dannys power set cause the lil dingus keeps forgetting he can do that stuff in the heat of battle.

Danny uses his invisibility all the time… to avoid being followed. But in a fight? Oopsies hes too busy thinking of funny one liners to realise he could do that.

Intangibility? Give the guy a break. I mean who calls themselves condiment king. Even he was stunned.

He so rarely actually uses his biggest advantage powers that the League doubt he actually has them. He, like any naive child, trusts them and reported fully on his power set. Instead of just asking him to demonstrate his powers they instead start watching him and try to find evidence of his powers.

At least they know duplication was true since they watched him make a copy of himself to go to the bathroom and not miss any of his fav tv show.

[thejasontoddarchives]

Catwoman (2018-) #57

Bruce is really swinging between extremes huh

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

gee i wonder if the issue could be at all related to the fact that the current treatment plan for his chronic pain consists solely of FUCKING IBUPROFEN

[princessanneftw]

Princess Anne arriving at a performance of the Sadler’s Wells Royal Ballet in Rio de Janeiro on 24 March 1986 🩰

[hijinxinprogress]

Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌ 

Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅

The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’) 

Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’ 

And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him

Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open

But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason

[wraithsoutlaws]

"Tell me something you never told nobody before..."

[fvedyetor]

american sigzai

[foreverchangingfandomsao3]

Six Sentence Sunday

This is from another of my Codywan week works @codywanweek and I'm enjoying writing crack for once!

It seemed pointless. They were stuck in a gunship, barely close enough to the planet’s surface to be considered out of orbit and the Separatists were in a bunker with a single entrance. They had no intel, no time to prepare, and no knowledge about Obi-Wan’s condition. “You know, that truly is an awful beard,” Obi-Wan said, his voice coming through the unit almost perfectly clear, the words ever so slightly slurred which made him suspect a sedative, but also free of pain. It was also the same tone that he used in the med bay when he eventually got straight answers out of the man, polite but also a little exasperated. “You’re doing no favours to yourself by letting it grow.” “I did not bring you here to discuss my beard.” “You should have.”

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 14

PREVIOUS

When Andrew came out of his bedroom to grab a second Allen wrench (he’s working on the frame of the dresser while Neil builds the drawers) he finds quite a few things to irritate him.

1st was the sound of his brother and his cousin arguing loudly. Andrew had been pretty clear that they needed to be quiet that morning but following Andrew’s clearly given guidelines was NEVER either of their strong suits.

2nd was the fact that there was a smell in the air that Andrew was unsure of. It wasn’t a bad smell. It didn’t smell like Nicky had left some component of the breakfast FF had bought to burn. Andrew sniffed the air again and…..lavender? It wasn’t really a smell that existed in the house of three college student boys.

3rd and most irritating was the fact that FF was not where Andrew had left him four hours ago on the couch. Again, Andrew had been pretty clear to both Nicky and Aaron that FF was to be left ALONE. FF hadn’t been able to go to sleep until Andrew had promised that nothing would happen to him while he slept.

He moves towards the kitchen table where Nicky and Aaron are eating some of the sour patch kids that FF had brought back as they argued, “He can’t be serious that Kate and I gross him out more than Andrew and Neil! I’ve seen how fast he walks away when they start getting gross.” He hears Aaron say.

“Aaron I have watched Smithy climb out a second story window because you and Katelyn started making out and he’d have to walk closer to you to go out the door.” Nicky returns. “I think you made him mad when you implied he was grossed out by Andrew and Neil. This is why I get spoon privileges and maybe, if Smithy is feeling forgiving, you can swipe your finger around the bowl.” he points at Aaron.

Andrew hangs back just out of sight.

He knows that FF does not like to be subjected to seeing PDA. A part of him feels…better at the confirmation that it really isn’t because him and Neil are both men. FF has seen them hold hands, kiss chastely, and lean on one another and been unbothered by that it was only when it started getting a little heated that  they’d realize that FF had left. FF never makes a scene about it, never scoffs in disgust or squeals in delight he just seems to see where it’s going and will leave if he doesn’t want to see it.

It’s nice.

“Well he’s probably mad at you for waking him up. Andrew said to leave him alone.” Aaron returns.

“He needs breakfast! He also has to take his ulcer meds at the same time so he had to wake up and eat something. He can go back to sleep after!” Nicky defends.

Andrew scowls. Ok. Nicky could live if that was the reason he woke FF up. Still, why the hell is FF in the kitchen and more importantly what bowl and spoon are Aaron and Nicky arguing over?

Andrew tunes his family’s argument out and heads to the kitchen to find FF putting a baking dish into their oven while incense burned on the counter (Andrew now realizes that was the thin box that had been in with the rest of the candy)

He sees the bowl and spoon that Nicky had mentioned and more importantly he can see the chocolate brownie batter on them. Andrew walks over to the bowl and picks it up. He wipes his finger along the inside and…

He closes his eyes for a moment to savor the flavor of the batter. He leans against the counter and his hand brushes against….a five hour energy bottle. Andrew knows he had thrown out the two he had found in FF’s bags before (Ulcer + exhaustion + FF = bad he didn’t need to be a math major like Neil to understand that math.)

Andrew shoves the bottle in his sweatshirt pocket as FF turns around and stares at him passively. FF’s eyebrow’s raise slightly but there’s no other reaction. Andrew considers that, perhaps, FF had wanted to lick the bowl.

He offers the spoon instead knowing it is the better prize but FF is the one who bought the ingredients and mixed together this amazing batter, so he gets first dibs.

“That wouldn’t be good for my stomach.” He declines and Andrew wonders if FF had taken his meds yet or, in his tired state, he’s forgotten to.

“When did you wake up?” Andrew asks.

“Hour ago.”

He should go back to sleep after he takes his meds but also knows that FF probably won’t go to sleep until the brownies are done.

“I’ll make the pie tomorrow.” FF says and Andrew blinks out of his thoughts.

Andrew decides to go get FF’s meds for him. He’ll make it clear to FF later that the guy doesn’t HAVE to keep making amazing desserts as a thanks for being invited to Columbia. If FF just so happens to WANT to keep making amazing desserts then Andrew isn’t going to be the person that stops him.

He shoves the spoon in his mouth and heads out to go find Smith’s bag and his meds.

Aaron and Nicky see him and both let out outraged noises as their quarry had been stolen.

Andrew ignores them and gets to the bag by the couch.

Who the fuck just has 14 bottles of five hour energy sitting in their bag??

***

When Andrew handed FF his ulcer meds he could admit to feeling grateful even if Andrew had obviously gone through his bag to grab it. He swallows it dry because Andrew is standing by the sink and he knows that until Andrew eats a brownie he is not in a position to ask for favors big or small.

(He learned his lesson from that one time with Captain Neil. If he wants to do anything related to Russian he has to be in the safety of his lofted bed under the cover of night and the cover of his…covers while he reads via flashlight. He will not be caught so flat footed again! These are all necessary precautions!)

Andrew seems to very much want for FF to be in prime condition for the hunt. Part of him wonders if he’ll be released amongst other game animals and FF had never felt more jealous of the turkey who got pardoned by the president the day before. Why does that stupid bird get all the luck? Where’s his presidential pardon?

That grateful feeling evaporates into a dust cloud as Andrew lifts a plastic bag, “Stop drinking these.” Andrew hisses, “They’re going to make your ulcer worse.” He points at FF.

“I need them.” He says.

“For what?”

“Five hours of energy at a time.”

“Pull out the brownies and go back to sleep Smith.”

“They still have 10 minutes.”

“Then I’ll pull them out in 10 minutes.”

“There’s a final step that I have to do once they’re fresh out of the oven.”

“What is it.”

“Smith Family Baking secret. I don’t make the rules.” FF gestures towards where the incense continues to burn, “Great Gran’s recipe and methods cannot be shared with non-blood relatives. My mom wasn’t even let in on the secret.”

Thank god

Andrew glowers at him.

Oh God

“It’ll be just 20 more minutes.”

Andrew’s eyes narrow at him.

“They’ll be worth it.” He pleads.

Andrew rolls his eyes.

“Go to sleep when they’re done. Take Nicky’s room.” Andrew commands.

“Take Nicky’s what?” Nicky leans into the kitchen.

“Smith is going to go back to sleep on your bed.”

“Yeah you look like shit Smithy. Don’t worry, unlike Neil and Andrew’s bed mine is all safe.”

Nicky zips out of the kitchen with Andrew hot on his heels. Nicky really is a good friend.

He performs the sacred rites necessary upon the brownies when they come out of the oven and takes a small corner piece to taste test and -

He closes his eyes and clasps his hands together in prayer.

‘Thank you Great Gran.’ He prays earnestly.

‘Remember to wash behind your ears’ he thinks he hears a whisper of grandmotherly advice in return.

That was probably normal.

He extinguishes the incense.

He cuts up the brownies, finds a decently sized plate, and sets the brownies out on the counter before he starts to work on doing the dishes. Yeah Yeah he could have been cleaning while he waited for the brownies to cook! That’s what you always do right? Clean as you go?

Well have you ever been baking brownies that might be the difference between life and death? No? Well then FF is just going to have to stop you right there because he had the oven light on and his eyes GLUED to these fudgey squares.

Who knows what the cousins’ oven would do? He doesn’t know this oven. He and this oven are taking their first whirl together and it could decide to turn on him at any time. They don’t have the brotherhood that he and the oven at his Gran’s house have built over the years! This oven could be one of those ones that maintain their temperature by turning on the broiler! He felt like he could never again recklessly trust an oven after he tried to make crescent rolls in the Viking Oven at his step father’s house and had gotten them back blackened by the broiler.

That oven had been the SINGLE thing he had been excited about during the kitchen remodel which means naturally it was the thing that had betrayed him.

He lets himself think of all the ways he hates the Viking brand as he finishes the dishes and puts everything back to where they belong.

He walks out of the kitchen with the platter of brownies and sets them down on the table where Aaron and Nicky are sat. “Oh my god they smell amazing.” Nicky says and immediately his hand is shooting towards the plate and picking up a corner piece.

FF valiantly resists the urge to slap his and Aaron’s hands away. He needs these to compel Andrew into letting him live.

“Oh wow, those do smell good.” He hears Captain Neil’s voice and when FF turns around Captain Neil and Andrew are both there. It is only in that moment that he realizes that he should have bought some vanilla ice cream to go with these.

Andrew’s love of ice cream was not unknown, probably even infamous. He was the man who, during the summer training, had been so possessive over the soft serve machine in the cafeteria that anyone who wanted any had to ask Captain Neil to get them a bowl or risk being threatened.

He starts towards the door. At this point Target probably isn’t even that bad, probably just some irate people who didn’t come with the rush and are mad they missed out, maybe some officers talking to witnesses on who threw cast the first Wii remote, and workers who will hate him marginally less (unless he gets the same check out person and they remember him (unlikely))

His progress is arrested by a hand grabbing his hoodie.

“Where are you going?”

“I forgot Ice Cream.” And he could get a five hour energy to slam on the way back home.

He then finds himself being pulled down an unfamiliar hallway.

Ah, the anticipation had been killing him more than the fear of his demise. His brownies had not contained the requisite amount of grandmotherly love to save him he had been relying on extract (Great Gran’s spirit guiding his hands) instead of organic (he does not have grandchildren or children for that matter)

Maybe ice cream would have been the deciding factor? He’ll never know.

He closes his eyes and lets himself be dragged. He’s too tired to fight.

A door opens, and he finds himself sat on a bed.

Weird.

“You are falling asleep standing up. Go back to sleep. I’ll leave you at Eden’s if you fall asleep in the booth.” Andrew threatens.

What.

FF knows about Eden’s.

He has heard about it from Nicky trying to get him to agree to go but he’s pretty sure it’d be like introducing an Amazon rainforest frog to the Sahara desert in terms of survivability for him.

“We’re going to Eden’s tonight?” He manages to ask.

Andrew raises an eyebrow at him but answers, “Yes.”

“I’m not really interested in clubs. I don’t drink out in public or dance.”

“Neither does Neil. I just drink. We can stay in the booth.”

“I don’t want to interrupt your time with Captain Neil.”

“It’s fine, neither of us hate spending time with you.”

“I don’t have clothes for a place like that.”

“Nicky grabbed some for you. You’re coming tonight. Go to sleep.”

With that Andrew pulls Nicky’s curtains close, shuts off the light, and closes the door.

FF, always very much like a bird when placed into a suddenly dark environment, starts to feel some of the  exceptional sleepiness that he’d been pushing off through sheer manic desperation to earn another day of life.

He lays down in Nicky’s bed and is tired enough that he can ignore the sheer amount of body glitter on the sheets (does Nicky excrete it like sweat??) and starts to let himself drift off to sleep.

Eden’s might be something completely out of his wheelhouse but-

A conversation with Nicky from when he’d been trying to get FF to go comes into his mind and he sits straight up in bed as Nicky’s words roll around in his head like stale hotdogs at a gas station.

“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.”

Eden’s is a Secondary Location with a BASEMENT.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Per your requests:

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The requests to be added to the tag list got spread out across a few different mediums on this one so if I missed you then just ask in the replies!

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you  didn’t  get a notification there might be something switched around in  your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

Dazai buys catnip for Atsushi as a joke but then is completely delighted to find out it actually has an effect on him

[annabelle--cane]

trevor herbert canonically survived getting bitten by a vampire because when it started slurping him it thought he tasted so bad that it started violently spluttering and trembling and choking

[petite-phthora]

It's a date :)

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 9]

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Part 1

Ao3

---

Private chat nicknames:

RedHood = Jason

Danny = Danny

---

The next day, Jason wakes up with a yawn. He stretches, letting out a relieved exhale. That was one of the best nights of sleep he’s had in a long time.

Usually, the Pit’s bothering him, combined with hours of patrolling and fighting crime, usually getting injured as well, he usually wakes up sore and almost just as exhausted as he goes to sleep.

But now…

It was calm. He felt calm.

He didn’t quite dream, though that was fine, as he hadn’t had any nightmares either.

It was… refreshing.

Though, all of it is also kind of… unnerving…

All these good things happening?

The Joker finally dying, meeting a cute guy who doesn’t seem intimidated by him as Red Hood and taking him out on a date, the Pit barely bothering him, sleeping better than he had in years…

With all of that happening, Jason can’t help but wonder…

When is the other shoe gonna drop?

His good mood slightly dampened with disconcertion, Jason gets out of bed with a small grunt. He doesn’t bother to get changed yet, instead moving along to the kitchen to start on breakfast.

After taking in the groceries he has left, Jason starts making some simple bacon and eggs. He catches himself humming while cooking and abruptly stops, continuing his cooking with a small frown on his face.

Why is he feeling this… this… good?

Just what is happening with the Pit?

He’s not enchanted or drugged or anything, is he?

It’s all the unknowns that are making Jason slightly worried.

Are his emotions still his own?

He feels like most of his worries have been stripped from his body. He feels way more comfortable in his skin. He feels happy, content, tranquil…

He just feels so much.

…

But still no rage.

He eats his breakfast while he ponders over his newfound emotional state. It’s as he eats that his eyes land on his phone.

The Bats have probably blown up his phone with calls and messages in the meantime.

And the fact that he doesn’t feel as irritated or mad as he should about it is another point of slight concern.

Either way. Ugh, Jason still doesn’t really want to deal with it.

However…

After he has put his plate away, he picks up his phone anyway and turns it back on. Sure enough, he has too many missed calls and unread messages. And it seems that with his ‘online’ status, some are encouraged again and start sending him more texts.

Jason ignores it all in favor of doing what he had planned to do when turning his phone back on anyway, messaging Danny.

Just so that he has Jason’s number as well

…

And perhaps to plan another date meetup, he thinks with an involuntary soft smile on his face.

---

Private chat

RedHood: Hey, it's Red Hood. Just checking in and making sure you also have my number.

RedHood: In case of emergency, of course.

Danny: hi!! 👋😊

Danny: it’s Danny!! 😁                                     

Danny: which you already knew..

Danny: obviously 😅 😅

RedHood: I do now.

RedHood: Who knows, you could’ve given me the wrong number.

RedHood: It’s good to have the confirmation that it’s you :)

Danny: ahh yes!

Danny: good point 👉

RedHood: So, I was wondering if you had the time to meet again sometime this week?

RedHood: I can show you around the city, y’know? Like I mentioned yesterday? :)

Danny: !!!

Danny: yes!! 😁

Danny: that sounds like fun! ☺️ 🙃

Danny: and very useful 🤔

Danny: it’s good to know where not to go 😌

Danny: so I don’t kill another clown 🤡

Danny: haha

Danny: not that I’m like planning on killing another clown! 😰

Danny: no sir, there is no murder on this agenda!! 🙅 🙅

Danny: clowns or otherwise

RedHood: Haha, I didn’t think so.

RedHood: It was pretty clear to me it was self-defense anyway, don’t worry :)

RedHood: Even if it wasn’t, it was the Joker. So who, other than the Bat, cares?

RedHood: And it’s not like I can judge.

Danny: ah, good good

Danny: didn’t want my first impression to be being a murderer 😅 😅

Danny: that’d be bad 😓

RedHood: You don’t need to worry.

RedHood: You made a pretty good first impression in my opinion :)

RedHood: So, when are you free? For the meetup?

RedHood: I can come pick you up at your apartment again, if you want?

Danny: oh yeah that’d be nice!! 😊

Danny: and uhh, lemme check my school schedule real quick brb

Danny: alright, so I have classes till like 12.30 today

Danny: but I’m free from then on 🙃

Danny: minus like, time I need to eat lunch and stuff 😅 😅  

Danny: does that work for you?

Danny: I mean else I could probably do like thursday or something 🤔

Danny: if that works better??

RedHood: Today works just fine. And we can pick up some lunch on the way if need be. My treat :)

RedHood: I’ll come pick you up around 1 pm then?

Danny: it’s a date!! 😁

Danny: I mean sure, totally! it’s not a date!! 🙅 🙅

Danny: unless you want it to be a date?.. 👀

Danny: I mean did you mean for it to be a date?

Danny: is it a date? 🤔 🤔

Danny: I mean I don’t wanna assume 😅

Danny: and like

Danny: I wouldn’t mind if it was a date.. 👀

Danny: or if it wasn’t a date!!

Danny: wouldn’t mind that either, of course 😅  

Danny: I just wasn’t quite sure where we stood 😓 🥺

Danny: and what the context of the meetup was

Danny: ..?

Danny: Red Hood??

RedHood: It’s a date.

RedHood: ;)

---

Jason goes offline and turns his phone back off, still pointedly ignoring all the unread messages and missed calls from the Bats. He slides it onto and across the table in front of him and proceeds to put his arms down in front of him, resting his face on them.

Soft smile still on his face and cheeks colored faintly pink, Jason closes his eyes.

It’s a date…

---

Taglist:

@i-always-say-yea   @uraniumwizard    @why-must-i-be-like-this   @griffinthing

[an-albino-pinetree]

Warnings: Implied drugging: Painkillers, Carnival!Jax being Carnival Jax, mildly disturbing imagery and text, POV. - [There’s no blood, no violence implied, and nothing graphic, but view at your own risk! :]

~ To be continued ~ maybe-

[indieyuugure]

positive energy guys!

I love you You love me We're a happy family With a great big hug And a kiss from you to me Won't you say you love me too? I love you You love me We're best friends like friends should be With a great big hug And a kiss from you to me Won't you say you love me too?

Barny the dinosaur!!! wont you come and sing with me???

ALL THE POSITIVITY ALL THE TIME!! Lot’s of love guys💕

[ask-the-druggieverse]

Nightmare, do you sell catnip? my cats looking to get high

- ALT - PASSIVE!NIGHTMARE: ...Pardon? KILLER: I HAVE SOME FOR 50$!!!

- IDK - He's not saying pardon cause he's concerned, he just can't read what you're saying right now (opioids got to him fast)

MAIN: @inkyu

Back | Start | Next

[mids-stupid-shit]

Okay, finally getting back to watching The Boys and I'll be getting into season 4 spoilers so imma just give you Jack Quaid and his pretty little dimple as a spoiler warning

Yeah episode 3 is my favorite episode of The Boys. Not even a top ten or three, it's straight up peak.

This image alone gives me Mortal Kombat /Injustice vibes and still makes me wish we got an Injustice 3 instead of Mortal Kombat 1

Ah yes, I remember the first time I took lsd

This is my favorite scene in the whole episode. I just really love the way that Butcher speaks in this scene, being more gentle and slightly less vulgar as he's talking to Ryan. These two honestly are the reason why I love this show to death

And finally, this scene being another favorite of mine, seeing as how it just kind of reminds me of some Moon Knight shit. Damn, now I want to see Cassandra Nova from Deadpool and Wolverine doing the mindfuck to Homelander