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therealcocoshady · 1 month ago

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Kinktober - Day 6 - Sex Work

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

A/N : For the "sex work" prompt of Kinktober 2024 I thought I'd mix it up with a request I received as well. Granted, it's playing on the words of the prompt rather than the actual theme but I hope you guys like it nonetheless ! ✨ Also, I did have a second idea, which I might end up doing too 😏

CW : Mention of sex work - Flirty texts - Mention of hook up

The studio was buzzing with energy as the podcast got underway. Marshall sat at the head of the table, wearing his usual hoodie and cap combo, arms crossed casually as he listened to the banter among the other rappers. One former D12 member had decided to launch a podcast and, when he was ask to be the first guest, he was happy to show up to support his friend. In the past years, he’d grown more and more picky when it came to doing interviews and appearances, but he was glad he did this, supporting his buddy and talking about hip-hop in general, instead of just him. It was much better than random journalists asking about his professional life. The conversation had flowed from the evolution of hip-hop to its biggest influencers, and now, they were moving into more contemporary topics—reviewing music videos from up-and-coming artists.

He wasn’t sure what to expect when they cued up the next video for review. When the host dropped your name, though, his head perked up. You, the firecracker of a lyricist he had been « mentoring » for a while now. You weren’t to Shady Records, but you had worked together enough for him to respect your raw talent and commendable work ethic. He had been kind enough to offer some guidance and even some beats from his vault, and while you were still making your way in the industry, you had already built a reputation as an outspoken voice in the game. You had a good rapport, too. In private, you’d shared more than just a few laughs, and there was a mutual admiration that sometimes tiptoed into the realm of flirtation—compliments exchanged, gazes held a bit longer than necessary—but nothing too serious. It was always playful, a line neither of you had crossed.

The host grinned, looking at Marshall. « So, this is Y/N’s latest track. It’s called ‘Sex Work’. You haven’t seen this one yet, have you? ». He shook his head, a little curious but still cool. « Nah, she didn’t send it to me. ». His friend looked at him and let out a laugh. “You’re in for a surprise, then”. The video started, and the beat dropped—a heavy bass line that immediately grabbed everyone’s attention. But it wasn’t just the music that made Marshall sit up a little straighter. The visuals hit hard. You were on-screen, dressed in bold, provocative outfits, your presence commanding the camera. The scenes shifted rapidly, moving through a series of sexually charged, daring shots. It was unlike anything you’d done before.

You were playing with the very imagery that dominated so much of hip-hop—the kind of objectification women often faced. Except you were not the object here. She was the one in control, flipping the narrative. The lyrics hit just as hard as the visuals, each line razor-sharp, calling out the double standards in the industry, using clever wordplay ad metaphors that drew a parallel between the music industry and sex work, too.

Marshall was caught off guard. The video was bold, even provocative. You were owning your sexuality in a way that was direct, unapologetic, and powerful. But then it hit him—some of the scenes were direct callbacks to his older videos. One shot mirrored the set of his “Superman” video, and in another, you were standing where one of his infamous adult actresses had stood, reclaiming that space. « Damn, » one of the other hosts on the podcast muttered, eyes wide. Marshall’s eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t say anything. Not yet. The lyrics kept going, and it became clear what you were doing—turning the tables on the misogynistic narratives you had been surrounded by as an up and coming female rapper. The video wasn’t just about sex appeal; it was a statement. You were deliberately playing with the same imagery that had been used to objectify women for decades, challenging it, and throwing it back in everyone’s faces. By the time the video ended, the room was dead silent for a moment. The host was the first to speak. « Marshall, man… what are you thinking? ». He leaned back in his chair, taking a breath. He could feel the eyes on him, waiting for some kind of reaction, maybe even expecting. You weren’t playing by anyone’s rules and it was the type of attitude he respected, especially then someone pushed the pen that far. « Well, first off, » he said, glancing around the room before locking eyes with the host, « she killed that ». The other guys laughed, but he wasn’t joking. « She’s always been fearless with her lyrics, » he continued, « but this? This is next level. She’s calling out the hypocrisy in the industry, and she’s doing it in a way that makes you pay attention. It’s bold as hell. » He paused for a second, gathering his thoughts. « I didn’t expect her to take shots at some of the imagery I’ve used in my older videos, but I respect it. She’s making a statement. She’s an artist, it’s what she should be doing. It’s what we do as emcees, you know ? ». The others nodded, clearly impressed with his take. « So you’re not bothered by it? I mean, some of those scenes were pretty close to your old stuff ».

« Nah, » he said, shaking his head. « If anything, I think it’s cool. That’s the kind of artist she is—smart, sharp, and always saying something with her work. Whether it’s a track about life or, you know… this ». He chuckled a little at the end, the edge of a smirk tugging at his lips. Truth be told, he hadn’t expected you to pull something this bold. Sure, you had always been outspoken, always ready to challenge the norms, but this? This was next-level boldness. The conversation moved on to other topics, but Marshall’s mind lingered on your video. He knew it was going to blow up and, truth be told, he was curious to know where that was headed.

The days following the release of your music video and Marshall’s appearance on the podcast were a whirlwind of noise. Social media was ablaze with debates, and hip-hop blogs pumped out articles almost hourly, all focused on one central question: Was Y/N dissing Eminem ? Marshall, sitting in the comfort of his home, scrolled through his phone, shaking his head at the ridiculous headlines. « Y/N’s Bold Move: Diss or Power Play Against Eminem?" or "New Queen in Town? Is Y/N Coming for Eminem’s Throne? ». Everyone had their own theory, and the conversation was only growing louder. What had started as you making a critique of misogyny had snowballed into a supposed rivalry between you and Em—a narrative the media had hungrily latched onto. It wasn’t surprising to anyone, though. Of course it was going to make for good headlines and farm engagement rates, even though it was a shame to have it take away from the main topic. Interviews, radio shows, podcasts—everyone was asking the same question: What did Eminem think ?

Marshall had been ignoring the noise for as long as he could, figuring people would see the bigger picture. But the hype refused to die down. Paul’s phone blew up with texts and calls, from journalists looking for comments to fellow artists wondering if there was any beef brewing. His team’s inbox was flooded. He wasn’t surprised that you were stirring things up—you were unapologetically yourself, always—but the whole “diss” angle? That was ridiculous. A week after the video dropped, Marshall finally caved. He knew he had to address it, especially after hearing that some major podcasts were going to dive deeper into the so-called "feud." There was no way he’d let anyone twist this into something it wasn’t. It was sort of unlike him, but he was pissed off about lies being spread and people making headlines about an imaginary feud. He wouldn’t have cared to address it if it had been anyone else, but he actually liked and respected you. He also had enough self-awareness to know that, if he let the whole thing escalate, some people would take « his side » and turn on you. Frankly, he didn’t have the time or energy for some stupid quid pro quo situation and he deemed it best to address the topic.

That morning, he agreed to hop on a Shade45 radio show that had been asking him for a statement for days. As the interview started, the host wasted no time jumping into the topic. « Alright, Boss, we’ve got to get straight to it, » the host said, his voice filled with anticipation. « Y/N. We’ve all seen the video. She’s been pretty outspoken, and a lot of people are taking her comments about the double standards in hip-hop and the scenes from your old videos as… well, a diss. What do you think? ». Marshall took a deep breath and leaned forward into the mic, choosing his words carefully but keeping his usual bluntness. « Look, » he started, « Y/N is not dissing me. She’s not coming for me or trying to take shots. What she’s doing is making a statement. A damn good one, too. People keep saying she’s going too far or whatever, but this is the same stuff that I, and a lot of other artists, have done for years. She’s just flipping the script, and now, suddenly, people want to act like it’s a problem ». The host nodded, but there was still an edge of curiosity. « So, you’re not offended by her recreating some of your visuals? Some people took it as her calling you out ». Marshall smirked, shaking his head. « Nah, man. Y/N’s one of the most talented artists out there right now. She’s smart. She’s sharp. And she’s not afraid to say what’s on her mind, even if it makes people uncomfortable. That’s what makes her great. She’s doing exactly what artists are supposed to do—make people think, make people talk. It’s the same shit I have always done with my music. And if she’s calling out hypocrisy ? Good for her. I’ve been there. I know how that goes ».

He leaned back again, more comfortable now. « You know, I’ve worked with her, produced a couple of tracks for her, and I’ve always been impressed by how real she keeps it. She’s not here to play by anyone’s rules. She’s doing what she wants, and I respect that. If you’re mad at her for being direct, maybe it’s because you don’t like what she’s saying ». The host paused for a moment, letting Em’s words settle. « So, to be clear—you fully support what she’s doing? ». « Yeah, » Marshall said without hesitation. « Y/N’s just getting started, and if people are mad now? They better buckle up, ‘cause she’s only going to keep pushing boundaries. She’s not afraid to call out the industry for its hypocrisy. And if anyone thinks she’s dissing me, they’re missing the point. She’s making space for herself, and she’s doing it her way. That’s what being an artist is all about ». The host grinned, seemingly satisfied with his take. « Well, there you have it, folks. Marshall’s got nothing but respect for Y/N. » Marshall chuckled, nodding. « Damn right. I’ll say this though : I’ve spent enough time with her to know that it’s more fun to be her friend than to be her enemy. So, anyone who’s been talking shit… Better be ready ».

After the podcast dropped, the noise around the supposed « diss » started to die down. Marshall’s words carried weight, and now that he had set the record straight, the media was forced to pivot. Instead of focusing on a non-existent feud, the conversation shifted toward what you had always intended—your critique of double standards. Now that people didn’t worry about a possible feud, they seemed more disposed to focus on the subject matter and the narrative surrounding you quickly took a much more positive turn. That evening, Marshall was sitting in his home studio, tweaking some beats when his phone buzzed on the table next to him. He glanced down and saw your name on the screen.

Y/N : Thanks for having my back.

He stared at the text for a moment, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smile. He wasn’t surprised you’d reached out; after all, you weren’t the type to let things go unacknowledged. He liked that about you. But he could tell by the simple message that you appreciated the support more than you’d probably say out loud. He picked up his phone and tapped out a reply.

Marshall : Always. Not that you needed it, though.

He fully meant it when he said that you didn’t need his support. He knew for a fact that you’d clap back if needed. There was a brief pause before your next message popped up.

Y/N : Yeah, but you saying it shuts up a lot of people.

He chuckled to himself, nodding as he read the words.

Marshall : Let ‘em talk. You’re doing your thing. If they’re mad, that means you’re doing something right.

Y/N : Guess I learned from the best.

Marshall leaned back in his chair, looking at your message for a second before typing a final reply.

Marshall : Nah, you’re making your own lane. Keep killing it.

He put his phone down, guessing the conversation was probably over for the night. But even as he turned back to the track he was working on, he couldn’t help but feel a certain sense of pride. You were carving out your own space in the industry, no matter how many people tried to twist her message or pit you against him. In the short while he’d known you, he had seen you evolve as an artist and, since you’d never failed to share how much his music had shaped your artistry, he felt proud.

Y/N : Also, I’m glad that you got what I did with the references to your video. It was an hommage, not a shot.

Marshall grinned, running his thumb over the screen as he typed his reply.

Marshall : Oh, I know. But now I’m thinking, if it was an hommage, why didn’t you just ask me to be in it ?

The dots on the screen danced for a moment, and then your reply came through, as sharp as your lyrics.

Y/N : I was only hiring professionals. ;)

Marshall laughed out loud, shaking his head. He liked your quick wit, the way you never backed down from a little back-and-forth. If anyone else had thrown that line at him, he might’ve let it go. But not you.

Marshall : You don’t think I’m professional enough?

Y/N : In music ? Sure. Can’t speak for the rest, though.

There was a pause as he crafted his next response, his smirk growing wider. He enjoyed it too much, couldn’t help himself.

Marshall : If you want to find out just how professional I can get, all you gotta do is ask.

He sent the message, leaning back on his chair. He could practically feel the heat of your flirtation building through the screen. You didn’t take long to reply, as bold as ever.

Y/N : Oh, I’ll keep that in mind.

There was no more texting that night, but the tension lingered in the silence that followed. Your dynamic had always teetered on the edge of something more, something neither of them had fully explored. Both of you had always kept it on the safe side. The energy between them you felt charged in a way it hadn’t before, following these texts and he liked it. There was something irresistible about a beautiful woman who was also smart and bold. However, he chose not to let it get to his head, not wanting to be that guy. Being a woman in a male-dominated industry, you probably had enough of those, even though he wouldn’t mind showing you the extent of his bedroom skills. He meant it, though. All you had to do was ask. He had made a point to avoid getting involved with celebs and fellow artists but he’d gladly make an exception for you.

Weeks later, the two of you found yourself in New York for an awards show. The ceremony was everything you’d expect—long, loud, and full of celebrities. But Marshall wasn’t really focused on the stage. He hadn’t seen you yet, but he knew you were there. He’d heard your name more than once as people in the crowd gushed about you, your bold video, and the statement you’d made in the industry. Your viral video had made you gain tons of recognition and everyone was gushing about you, even the ones who had been quick to assume you were dissing him in a desperate clout-chasing attempt. After the show, as he headed back to his hotel room, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

Y/N : Nice performance tonight. Very professional. The Bradford. Suite 1602. If your offer still stands.

Marshall stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the message. The directness of it sent a jolt through him. There wasn’t any question about what you were implying. The words lingered on his screen, bold and unflinching, just like you. For a moment, he just stood there, processing. Then, without a second thought, he found himself heading toward the exit of his hotel. There was no hesitation now. His heart picked up speed as he walked out into the night, flagged down a cab, and gave the driver the name of your hotel, not too far from his. The drive was short, but each second felt drawn out, like anticipation was pulling time apart. As the cab pulled up in front of The Bradford, Marshall stepped out, the city lights glowing faintly around him. He walked through the doors and headed straight to the elevator, heart pounding just a little harder with each passing floor. When he reached your floor, the quiet of the hallway contrasted sharply with the rush of energy coursing through him. He stopped in front of Suite 1602, staring at the number on the door for a moment before knocking, his mind running through the million ways this could go. The door opened slowly, and there you were, standing barefoot in a simple yet alluring outfit that somehow made his pulse race faster than anything you’d worn in that music video. Your eyes met his with the same fire he’d always admired, but now, it was mixed with something more, something unspoken between the two of you that had finally found its moment. « Wasn’t sure you’d actually show up, » you said, your voice low but teasing. Marshall smirked, stepping inside. « Told you all you had to do was ask ». You grinned back, eyes glinting as you shut the door behind him. « Well, I am asking ».

If you liked this and want to support a struggling student, you can buy me a cup of coffee. ☕️

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine #kinktober 2024 #kinktober prompts #kinktober #eminem kinktober

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daresplaining · 1 year ago

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An Interview with Christine Hanefalk

Christine Hanefalk created her blog, The Other Murdock Papers, in 2007 as a place to discuss and share her interest in Matt Murdock and his world. Over the years, she has become one of the most compelling and influential voices within the Daredevil fan community, even making a cameo appearance in the comic itself in Daredevil volume 3 #31. In 2022 she published Being Matt Murdock, a passion project centered around an area of particular fascination: Matt's legendary hypersenses. The book weaves real-world science into the vast Daredevil canon to explore the notion that Daredevil's powers, though superhuman, are not – and do not need to be – as divorced from reality as one might think.

Christine was kind enough to answer my questions about the book, and about her nearly twenty-year-long fascination with the Man Without Fear. Read the interview below...

Daresplaining: I know many people will be familiar with your blog and your longtime interest in Matt Murdock's sensory world, but could you say a little about how Being Matt Murdock first came about, and how you approached writing and researching it?

Christine Hanefalk: I started The Other Murdock Papers in late 2007 and gradually allowed myself to start writing more about the scientific and sensory aspects of Daredevil as time went on. I was really worried it might turn people off, but the opposite was true and people really seemed to dig my deep dives. And so as far back as around 2012 I decided that, one of these days, I was going to try to write a whole book on the subject.

Despite the fact that it took me ten years to complete it, with most of the work being concentrated to the final 12-18 months before publication, I had actually done some writing early-on. I think I had about half of chapters one (on the literary history) and seven (on the sense of smell) written several years ago, along with various snippets and notes that I had filed away and was able to work into some of the other chapters. I had also consistently been keeping an eye out for anything new and interesting in the peer reviewed academic literature, and managed to amass – and read through – quite a collection of books on sensory neuroscience over the years.

When that “now or never” moment finally arrived, it lined up well with a period of time in my life where I was able to cut back on regular work and devote most of my time and energy to the book. I went over all of the stuff I’d already looked at before but with more focus, and got myself reacquainted with subjects I hadn’t really touched since college, such as thermodynamics. I also reread nearly all of the comics, taking very detailed notes on how and when Daredevil used his senses to get a better idea of the overall pattern. It’s not an understatement to say that I’ve spent upwards of 2,000 hours on this project over the years.

D: I understand that you were introduced to Daredevil through the 2003 movie. What drew you so strongly to Matt as a character? How much of a role has your fascination with his powers played in your continuing interest over the years?

CH: I grew up reading comics and enjoying sci-fi and superhero movies as a kid. I was born in 1977, so both the original Star Wars trilogy and the Superman franchise loomed large in my life when I got old enough to watch them. And while I eventually stopped reading superhero comics, I always had a special place in my heart for the genre and had a certain fascination with the general idea of superheroes. That eventually steered me in the direction of the Daredevil movie when it was released in video stores (I don’t think it even went up in theaters in my native Sweden).

The specifics of Matt Murdock’s power set was definitely one thing that gave this character an unusual kind of appeal to me. I had always been interested in the science of the senses – and what happens when one is missing – and had even written a paper on sensory compensation for my neuroscience class while I was an exchange student at the University of Rochester around the turn of the millennium.

There were additional things that made Daredevil interesting of course, such as his career as a lawyer, his overall personality, and the general mood of the world he inhabited, but the combination of his power set and my already having a soft spot for superheroes definitely piqued my interest right away. Within a few months of learning that Daredevil even existed, I had read pretty much everything he had ever appeared in.

D: Do you have a favorite sense, both in terms of your own research and as a Daredevil fan?

CH: I think I probably enjoyed researching hearing the most since there’s so much to cover. It’s also fascinating to me how hearing can be called on to perform spatial functions despite having this deceptively simple, linear, time-dependent form in terms of how it is received by the ear. The fact that it’s possible, even for quite ordinary humans, to sort of “see-hear” silent objects is fascinating to me.

However, if we look at Daredevil, I’d say that hearing has tended to be overused compared to both smell and touch. While hearing is often called on to perform near transcendental duties, smell tends to be forgotten by a lot of writers, probably in large part due to the fact that we humans seem to be less conscious of smells than we are of other sensory input. For the entire history of the comic, Daredevil has often gone several issues without any reference to smell, and the things he’s been smelling have often tended to not be very interesting. It’s always a treat to see smell being used in creative ways.

Still, the sense I would be even more interested in seeing more of in Daredevil is probably touch, which I also think is used less than it could be. Sure, there’s plenty of reading by touch (print or braille), but I still think we might be underestimating the importance of touch in Matt’s life, due in part to the high expectations of the radar sense (whatever we make of it). I view the “radar” as absolutely vital to everything Matt does as Daredevil, but I also see a much greater potential role for touch to work synergistically with such an ability.

D: Do you have a favorite new fact that you learned over the course of researching this book?

CH: Yes. I do think my coming across Jacob Twersky’s writing helped solidify the idea I had about how the concept of the radar sense may have originated. Blinded in childhood, Twersky would go on to become a champion collegiate wrestler, and later a historian and author. I read both his 1954 novel The Face of the Deep and his 1959 autobiography The Sound of the Walls while working on my own book. The way Twersky describes his sense of the obstacles around him in The Sound of the Walls struck me as shockingly similar to early descriptions of Daredevil’s radar sense, including the use of the term “radar” itself.

While I can’t know for sure whether anyone at Marvel was familiar with Twersky’s writing, it’s worth noting that he was a New Yorker and a contemporary of Stan Lee and many of the others in the Marvel bullpen back in the day. Whatever the case may be, it’s clear that the Marvel creators were not the first to use the word “radar” to describe the “obstacle sense of the blind,” as it was often known at the time. Over the years, and especially after having studied the early issues in great detail, I’ve definitely come to favor the idea that the “radar sense” wasn’t meant to be understood as a literal (electromagnetic) radar, though I should add that the understanding of the radar seems to have been all over the place for most of Daredevil history. Reading Twersky definitely added considerable weight to my interpretation of the early radar sense.

I also had some favorite epiphanies connected to the radar sense, one in particular which I think explains why Daredevil’s very particular way of being blind is often so difficult to make sense of for writers and fans alike. I recently wrote a rather lengthy post covering much of that stuff.

D: While taking a renewed deep dive into the source material, did you find yourself changing your opinion on anything?

CH: I should preface this by saying that there are definitely things I’ve changed my mind about over the years, even before I started most of the work on the book. I mentioned above that my understanding of the radar sense has shifted gradually, away from the more literal take the name suggests. Looking at the comics very carefully gives you even more of a sense that pinning down anything concrete here is going to be really difficult.

Revisting the comics has also given me a new appreciation for certain runs, such as the pre-Miller Bronze Age issues. This process has also led me to reassess my earlier assumptions that Daredevil’s senses have gone through some kind of steady evolution from Silver Age goofy to modern and grounded. This really isn’t the case, especially when you exclude some of the early outliers. You can find plenty of examples of both nonsensical and absolutely brilliant “senses writing” throughout the history of the comic, but I wouldn’t say that the treatment of the senses, or Matt’s blindness, have necessarily become more grounded on average.

D: You go into great detail about how much of Matt's sensory world has not been explored yet on the page. Is there any particular, specific experience that you would love to see depicted in future runs or adaptations?

CH: Contrary to what people might expect of me given my priors, I don’t necessarily think that there needs to be more stories about his senses, blindness and so on. However, I think these aspects of the character should be viewed as absolutely essential to how Daredevil is written, no matter what the particular storyline happens to be. I make a point in the book about how Daredevil is an amazingly interesting thought experiment, and I really believe that. So I’d really just wish for writers to be more comfortable running their scenes and stories through whatever their own version of this thought experiment happens to be and making sure that what’s on the page makes sense in light of that.

D: While researching other superpowered blind characters from the comics world and beyond, did you discover any new favorites? Can we expect a spin-off blog about Doctor Mid-Nite?

CH: Ha ha, no. It’s enough of a challenge keeping up with The Other Murdock Papers these days. As regular readers have undoubtedly noticed, I’ve been considerably less active there in recent years, having to do with work on the book as well as other real life stuff that’s competing for my time and attention. I do expect it to live on for many more years though, and I do update every once in a while. I’m definitely looking forward to writing about Daredevil: Born Again when that comes out, and we also have Echo coming out in early 2024.

D: What is your biggest Daredevil sensory pet peeve?

CH: To be honest, what bothers me more than all of the silly things put together is the suggestion that Daredevil can “see better than all of us,” is “not really blind,” and so on. As much as this might sound like the whole point of the character, it also takes much of the complexity out of what Daredevil does and how he does it. As blanket statements go, it just doesn’t hold up to scrutiny, unless we radically redefine what sight is, and what the other senses – even when heightened – actually do.

D: I love the scene in volume 3 #26 when Matt evades Ikari by changing his heart rate, even though logic would suggest that Ikari could still track him using his other senses, or even just other sounds. Do you have any favorite DD moments where you let sensory weirdnesses slide just because the scene is so compelling?

CH: While it’s a whole issue rather than a single scene, I really enjoyed what Mark Waid and Chris Samnee were attempting to do with the story that sees Matt attempt to escape Latveria while losing all of his senses. The scene I’m choosing to let slide here is when Matt seems to develop some kind of heat vision (it’s frankly unclear what it’s supposed to be) as his body tries to compensate. Whenever you see hints of thermal imaging in Daredevil, that’s an indication that he’s doing something that’s much further removed from how his senses should work than most people realize. It’s not something that follows naturally from heightened senses and is more like an entirely different kind of superpower.

I definitely tend to give a writer much more slack when 1) I'm enjoying the writing overall, and 2) said writer compensates to some degree by doing a good job of exploring, or at the very least remembering, that Matt is in fact blind.

D: What are your hopes for this book in regards to the impact it might have on how Daredevil is written in the future? What are the key takeaways that you hope fans and/or potential future Daredevil creators pull from it?

CH: If people reading this interview haven’t read Being Matt Murdock they may get the impression that it’s all a long list of “don’ts” or “can’ts,” but that’s a far cry from what I’ve attempted to do. I remember reading another superhero science book a few years ago that seemed to have as its central premise that “superpowers are stupid,” which didn’t feel particularly gratifying. I don’t see it that way at all. Sure, there are certainly characters whose powers read more like magic than anything else, but I don’t necessarily mind that. We don’t have to hold every character to any kind of scientific standard, and there definitely comes a point when taking this too far just takes the fun out of it.

When it comes to a character like Daredevil, however, I feel very strongly that bringing science into the picture has the potential to aid in the creative process rather than hinder it. Daredevil is relatively unusual in that he can exist comfortably in a kind of “reality next door.” His powers are not possible in our own universe, but they are not so far removed from our normal understanding of things that we can’t attempt to make sense of them and imagine what life would be like from his perspective. Because while no one has super hearing, most of us do have regular human hearing which detects the measurable and explainable phenomenon of sound.

There are naturally things about Daredevil that not even loosening the reins of biology will address – for instance, even a science-minded writer is likely going to have to break some of the laws of the physics of sound – but understanding how these phenomena unfold in the real world helps create a good structure for how Daredevil might operate. And I feel like I’ve come pretty close to presenting a coherent “view” of the world from Daredevil’s perspective in this book.

It would definitely be a dream come true to have this book inspire future Daredevil writers, but I obviously don’t have much control over that kind of stuff. I’ve been able to give out plenty of copies to past writers and artists though, ha ha. I would want incoming writers to know that science is their friend. And that understanding some of the science makes Daredevil even more fascinating.

D: If you were given the opportunity to actually experience the world the way Matt does for a day, would you take it?

CH: Absolutely! Mind you, I probably wouldn’t want to do it for longer than a day or two and I very much appreciate my standard issue eyesight, but I think it would be fascinating to explore his world. Though in this thought experiment, I would assume that I could experience things the way he does after years of getting used to it so it’s not too much of a shock to the system. Unlike what happened in the delightfully ridiculous story where Daredevil switched bodies with Doctor Doom, and Doom appeared to adjust on the spot and couldn’t even figure out that he was now blind, I would expect it to take months or even years to learn to navigate the world the way Matt does (superhero acrobatics not included). And it’s not just about being able to integrate different amounts and kinds of sensory information. It’s also a matter of acquiring the strategies that allow for combining this sensory information with real-world knowledge in order to handle the many ambiguities which remain in a world organized around people with a more standard set of human senses.

D: Do you have any book/article/etc. recommendations for someone wanting to expand their reading on the topics explored in the book?

CH: Among the books I’ve read that I would recommend for general audiences is David Eagleman’s The Brain: The Story of You as a good introduction to the brain. If people want to progress from there I also recommend Brainscapes by Rebecca Schwarzlose. I don’t make any explicit references to Brainscapes in my book, but it’s a very solid read for anyone who wants to learn more about the role of “brain maps” in guiding our experiences. For the senses themselves, there’s The Universal Sense by Seth S. Horowitz (about hearing), and What the Nose Knows by Avery Gilbert.

Another book I read years ago that is sort of “on-topic” is A Sense of the World: How a Blind Man Became History’s Greatest Traveler by Jason Roberts. It’s not one I reference in my own book, but I guess it’s “Daredevil adjacent.” It tells the absolutely fascinating true story of James Holman (1786-1857).

D: Beyond Being Matt Murdock and your blog, is there anything else you would like to promote/mention here?

CH: Not for the time being. Maybe there’ll be a second edition of Being Matt Murdock one day, but I don’t have any such plans for the foreseeable future. What I would like to do is take the opportunity to encourage people to tackle their own passion projects. For me, finalizing this project came down to realizing that if I were to be told I only had a year to live, I would want to prioritize finishing this book. That’s how much it meant to me. And when you feel that way about something, try to do whatever you can – as much as your current circumstances will allow – to give yourself that gift. Tackling something like this can be very daunting, and I definitely had to get over my fears of making mistakes and putting myself out there in order to do this. But I’m really glad that I finally did.

For more fun facts and information on Being Matt Murdock, and to purchase your own copy, visit www.scienceofdaredevil.com

For more of Christine Hanefalk's writing, visit www.theothermurdockpapers.com

#Christine Hanefalk #Being Matt Murdock #Daredevil #Matt Murdock #Quotes #Commentary

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the-s-exy-squad · 1 year ago

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Foxes Headcanons (Modern Day: Social Media Edition)

•Neil Josten uses social media after canon.

^ he posts the most vague shit ever and dark humor posts. He also has an anonymous hate page full of Riko Moriyama being clumsy or clips from the game where he lost against the foxes.

^^ he uses audios on TikTok and other socials that imply he’s fallen for someone he was on a team with and just lets the fan base assume it was Matt bc the whole Andrew/Neil rivalry. He likes to see reactions.

•Andrew starts to do art to express himself.

^He has a few anonymous art accounts throughout a few platforms and posts like twice a week on each. Hes really popular on TikTok and insta.

^^Neil stumbles across his content and realizes it’s him because he posted a picture he drew and sat on his dresser. Neil doesn’t tell him but frequently visits the accounts bc he wants to see Andrews art but knows he isn’t comfortable sharing in person or he would have.

•Matt and Dan would be influencers.

^ Matt mostly does sports equipment rating and reviews but he also does goofy ass videos with the rest of the foxes. Dan would do a lot about woman rights and activism in general. Big supporter of the LBGTQ.

^^ I like to think they’d occasionally do videos where Dan reviews make up products but uses them on Matt instead. They’re usually silly.

•Aaron takes pictures of every drink he gets from Starbucks and is obsessed. He is a Starbucks girly and has over 200000 pts on the app.

^He saves the pts to use when he’s desperate and for whatever reason didn’t have his wallet on hand.

^^^Starbucks deadass sponsors him.

•Kevin doesn’t do socials and just hired people to run accounts for him.

^ He does the photo shoots and tells them specifically what photos to use. He also puts interview clips so people often time think they’re just fan accounts.

^^he also records and post one singular video a month on his TikTok about upcoming games which serves as reminder that it isn’t a fan account.

•Allison uses her reach as a Sport player to advertise her clothing line.

^ She she has posts with lines such as casual wear, athletic wear, business casual/proffesional wear, and normalizes business making plus size clothes.

^^ she makes a few different lines for her friends and never posts them or sells them to the public. This includes armbands for Andrew, bandanas for Neil, one of a kind pride outfits for all the gay bitches on the team (let’s be real they’re all fruity), fox themed shirts for casual wear (even after they stop playing for the foxes)

•Seth hates social media and doesn’t have any.

^ He MIGHT have another fox run one for him and doesn’t interact at all.

^^ He lets the other foxes post him on their socials but doesn’t want one of his own.

•Rene does a lot of advocacy things on hers.

^ She shares her story about how Christianity and exy helped her.

^^ She doesn’t want to seem like she’s forcing Christianity. She says “having any kind of faith”

•Nicky posts a lot of random shit

^vlogs, funny sports clips, pride stuff. Videos of him and Erik.

^^ He gets the twins in a few and they’re just glaring with such a “I can’t handle you anymore. You should have put me up for adoption /hj” face directed at him and there’s a few comments saying “wait… they’re both making the face. Which is which?”

#all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #kevin day #nicky hemmick #dan wilds #aftg #matt boyd #allison reynolds #seth gordon #renee walker

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mysticstarlightmiracle · 2 months ago

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My decent into the Lily Orchard Rabbit Hole started from this video, well it actually started from the original Dungeon Meshi video, and ever since then, nothing's been the same. It would have been easier to just ignore the video and move on with my life, but I literally have a youtube channel where I review anime. I talk about it. So when Lily was pulling shit out of her ass to make this fantastic show look bad, that's when I had to do a double take and actually start looking at her critically.

After the original Dungeon Meshi video the veil that Lily covered herself with to make herself seem like a very well spoken media critic started to crack (for me). This was around the time @saiscribbles popped up in my feed with her Steven Universe Lily critque and I shit you not, I sat through all 2hrs of Sai's video and I was more entertained and energized watching that long video, of a much longer VOD, then I was watching any of Lily's video. Watching Sai was the first domino that tipped over and because of that video more Lily Orchid critcism popped up in my feed and I was introduced to people like @agramuglia and @crimsonender and the more I watched them, the deeper the rabbit hole became. At first, I was more interested in watching how these people took apart Lily's media takes because I was starting to realize that Lily has shit media takes and is as media literate as 4yr old toddler, but the more they took apart her takes, the more her takes started to seem........sinister.

Enter:

I remember Sai making multiple comments about the game: The Coffin of Andy and Leyley and mentioning that Lily likes it because it is a game that has incest in it. At the time I didn't know that Lily had made a video about it and that it was popular, so I just said, "Well this is pretty weird" and tried to move on from it. Then on a random day, a video from a youtuber by the name Courtney Peet popped up

Enter Courtney:

This video was alot to watch, I honestly couldn't sit through the entire thing without feeling sick and taking breaks, and I've watched and read alot of deplorable things but this was just to much. The day after I watched this video. I shit you not, Lily released her video addressing the allagtions and I went "Allegations!?!?!? THERE'S MORE!!!!!!!", and I remember clicking on that video and in the first few minutes I clicked off immediatly, because I could tell right away that Lily was not taking the accuasations leveied against her seriously. I probably should have seen that she wasn't going to take the allagations seriously when she drew her sister, Courtney, as Leyley from the TCOAAL in the thumbnail addressing the allagations. I don't know the entire plot of the game but i do know that Andy is the one who preyed on Leyley (his sister), that should have signaled to me that this was going to be a dumpster fire of a video, but a part of me had hope in Lily's ability to be a decent human being, but reality is often disappointing.

I am skipping over alot more details here but to summarise it for anyone who read the first part and thinks that I don't like Lily because she didn't like Dungeon Meshi. That is not the reason I dislike her, it's not because she's trans either incase she or her wife stumble across this post.

I wanna make it clear that the reason I don't like Lily is because she's a bad media critic who is an alleged predator who might have assaulted her sister, and she is someone who has used the platform she is on and her populairty to allegedly, prey on her younger audience and has both written a fanfiction that has CP and partakes in stories involving incest (this is not alleged, there are multiple instances of Lily engaging in stories that have some form of incest in them).

Just wanna give my 2 cents before i go back to playing Assassin's Creed Valhalla lol.

#lily orchard #anti lily orchard #lily orchard critical

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mdzs-fics · 8 months ago

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ridiculous future bullshit by sami

Future Fic 19 works 61K words

While rereading through works related to Author sami's And Time Is But A Paper Moon, reviewed here and here and here, I remembered reading the ridiculous future bullshit series. Through 19 short works of fiction, Author sami creates a reasonable facsimile of what the future looks like if six Immortals survive into the 21st century, forming the Five Nations.

Note: Author sami tells us "So this is the actual first-ish entry in the ridiculous future bullshit series, which of course means it is still the purest trash, it's bullshit and any complaints will still be met with you were warned."

Let's take a quick look at a few of the tales.

Now Showing: Hanguang-Jun And The Yiling Patriarch

Wei Wuxian rubs his nose. "Look, I'm guessing you're okay with your movie being, like… complete bullshit, right?"

"They are okay with that. They are so very fucking okay with that," Steve snaps.

"Okay." Wei Wuxian grins, and Dennis suddenly absolutely believes that he is talking to a trickster god. "You don't want to put Sandu Shengshou in this movie, trust me. And if you make this about sh- Jiang Yanli's actual marriage, then she might cry, and then Sandu Shengshou and I will have to raze this place to the fucking ground and salt the earth on which it stood, nobody wants that kind of hassle. But you can have a poor girl named Mo Fan - she has a terrible family, make it a bit like Cinderella, that was an okay movie."

Wei Wuxian has seen Cinderella.

Dennis notices that a sparkly princess crown has fallen out of Wei Wuxian's shopping bags.

"Mo Fan," he croaks. "Got it. Cinderella."

Wei Wuxian nods earnestly. "And a handsome prince named Jin Guangyao meets her and falls in love with her. He's in town to… try and help the villagers rebuild after the famine that drew the monsters there," he says. "Because he's just a really good guy. You can say it sends messages about how not all heroes are stabby fighters."

In which an animated movie Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch is discussed with its Producer while the poor, ignored Five Nations consultant recognizes the two Immortals in the Producer's office.

Let's just say the original premise featuring "the story of Hanguang-Jun, a noble prince, who defeats the monsters terrorising the city of Yiling with the help of the grizzled old Yiling Patriarch, and in the process falls in love with a local maiden, Princess Lotus Blossom." is not appreciated.

Flick of the Wrist

Dernier is famous. He's been on television in sixteen countries. She's bound to be impressed.

He skips actually attending the afternoon session in favour of writing and then recording a long YouTube video about the Symposium. He titles it Inside the Top Secret Medical Conference You've Never Heard Of, and uploads it with a smirk. That'll show them for not actually inviting him.

In which a Famous Medical Researcher attends a Symposium held by Wen Qing. Once.

Lan Zhan's University Days (JAFFY)

Ziyuan gives him a look. "Last I checked, you weren't in charge of the computer science department, shushu, and this is what I have to do if I want to pass."

Jiang Ying scowls. "We'll see about that," he says darkly. He leaves the room briefly and comes back with a laptop of his own. It looks like it was probably sleek and expensive once, but now it's covered with glitter stickers. He sets it on the table and turns it on; when he clears away the windows he did have up, Jordan thinks she sees a browser tab open to YouTube frozen on a still frame of a Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch fanvid.

Jiang Ying really seems to like that movie. He wears Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch t-shirts at least once a week.

"You run Suibian?" Peter, one of the other students, sounds impressed. Jordan has heard of it - it's an open-source operating system, which is apparently important. Her sister is Very Into Computers, and talks about it a lot, apparently it's way better than other operating systems. Ava keeps trying to get Jordan to let her install it on her computer.

"I wrote Suibian," Jiang Ying says absently, typing rapidly.

"Holy shit," Peter breathes. "You're Axian?" He pronounces it Axe-ian.

"A-Xian," Jiang Ying corrects, still typing. "But you can't call me that, stick to Jiang Ying. I wrote it for my brother and sister, they needed something with actual security for their… work."

"Why does the source code say my sword is always at your service?" Peter asks eagerly. "Everyone has so many theories about that. Do you play D&D?"

"I don't. It says that because for them, it is. Hush now, do your work, I'm busy," Jiang Ying says, tossing a smile over his shoulder. Text is scrolling rapidly through several terminal windows.

In which Lan Zhan goes to veterinary school and the entire class is adopted for the semester after failing their first exam because Students Were Distracted.

Characters encountered here are met again and again in other tales. Some characters become more important than others.

And there are kittens.

The stories are not canon and are definitely not to be taken too seriously. Still … they are an exceptionally enjoyable read.

And yes, I enjoy YouTube "The Untamed" themed crack videos as well.

#mdzs fic recs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #the untamed #Wei Wuxian #Lan Zhan #Jiang Cheng #Jiang Yanli #Lan Huan #Wen Qing #Lan Sizhui #and a large number of OCs

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imaginespazzi · 3 months ago

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Nivi!!! Since you are so diligently sticking to your schedule (you’re so inspiring babes), I thought I should at the very least try to get this review to you on time too! Imma just combine parts 5 & 6 in this one so apologies if gets too long. Also, I haven’t really had a chance to scroll and read through other people’s reviews for part 5 so I’m so sorry if I end up repeating what everyone else may have already said.

FIRST OF ALL, Back to December as the lyric reference for Part 5 was *chef’s kiss* - mainly because that’s gotta be one of my top Taylor songs of all time, ah the wistfulness 🥲

DREW cameo!! The only one with brain cells. Cause he’s right, they’re all stupid! (But we love them anyway).

“Please don’t get married Paigey,” Drew pleads, gripping his sister’s hand, “please.” – this really got me though. Poor Drew, like he never imagined he’d be having to witness his sister ever marry someone who wasn’t Azzi too! He just wanted his pookie back 🥺

Paige finding out about Azzi’s pregnancy through TikTok feels very on-brand lmao (ugh does that mean there were Olivia and Paige edits once upon a time 🥴), and them still commenting congratulations on each other’s post about the engagement and the pregnancy to keep up the friendly act killed me. Could. Not. Be. Me.

Katie and Paige interactions have my whole heart. Whenever I think about them, I always end up thinking about that immunity booster video so I’m glad it got the mention in part 5!

What is it with you and these damn phone calls, Nivi!! “You’re gonna be a wonderful wife P.” “You’re gonna be an amazing mom Az.” – once again, cue “and it would have been sweet, if it could have been me”. WELL IT COULD HAVE IF Y’ALL WEREN’T BEING STUPID (sorry, had to channel my inner Drew there).

“Please don’t speak in riddles. It’s 10 a.m and I’m sad,” Paige whines. She might be in her early thirties but there’s something about Katie Fudd that makes Paige feel like it’s okay to be a bit of a child. – Obsessed with this because I just feel like you perfectly captured their relationship with this line.

“You’re so goddamn dramatic Bueckers,” Katie rolls her eyes –so real for this cause Paige really was being dramatic af since Azzi left with Stephie. Standing on the porch for way-too-long just staring into the distance then breaking down in the fort and not moving for 3 hours. DRAMATIC. But like sad 😔

The comparison between Paige’s expression when talking about Stephie and Tim’s when he first met Azzi. I was waiting for something like this! My heart.

Steph (old) cameo! I’ll allow it, cause despite my hatred for the Warriors, I do loooove that man.

“What defense can a 5 year old play…” – idk why but I had a good chuckle at this, I just love when you pull these one-liners, the comedic timing is impeccable.

Katie with some GREAT lines too.

Pleaseee, not the UNCLE TWIN and TWIN NIECE 😆 I knoww Steph (man) loves the fact that his goddaughter, who’s prolly gonna go on and be a Golden State legend herself, is named after him.

I know it’s super cute, but I do be cracking up a lil everytime Stephie and Paige reunite cause it’s always so goddamn dramatic. Like girly pops please, it’s barely been 24 HOURS 😭

Yeah, Paige gonna be SPOILING her queen and their princess forever.

THEY KISSED.

I may or may not always let out an undignified squeal when I see a high school era flashback. Like those are always my favourites fr. You just never fail to make them feel so nostalgic.

Their first kiss, damn Paige really been a lover girl since 16 huh 🥹 Also the transition from their first kiss to what could be their last first kiss was perfection!

Although, idk if the “slow” that Katie had in mind meant kissing already but hey, they’re moving!

Look, as long as we get at least one cute family scene with our fave trio then that’s all the serotonin I really need for the day (week) and the scene with the flowers and the car seat was exactly that, pure serotonin.

Paige and the Fudds reunion 🥰

Stephie really is ride-or-die for her perfect Miss Buecks!

“Dumbapples” – LMAOOOO sometimes the brain cells just don’t always be braincelling.

And they finally get a redo on that sleepover, where no one leaves, at least not until pancakes have been served.

What’s next?

I’ve been thinking about the break-up too much- like when in 2025? Was it during the season? So before the natty?? But like there’s no way you could be that cruel, Nivi! You couldn’t have them finally winning the natty only for them to be heartbroken while doing so?

Or worse, have them win the natty and make P think she’s got everything she could ever want only for that to come crashing down not long after??

But like definitely pre-draft night maybe?? I guess that would make sense with Azzi overthinking things and worrying about being left behind? Sorry, am just thinking out loud atp!

But like were there already cracks forming even earlier in that year?? Cause if so, I’m curious about Paige’s proposal and the timing of it hmmm. My braincells are attempting to be braincells.🧠

I’m still awaiting that Drew and Azzi reunion cause Drew being so heartbroken that he really tried to stop the wedding all by himself hurt me. I can imagine for Drew too, how much he probably looked to Paige and Azzi as his ideal of what a relationship and love is, only for them to fall apart as well. Plus seeing how close irl Drew is to the Fudds makes me big sad for GH Drew 😞

I can’t wait for Coach P and Player Stephie dynamics!! The favouritism is really not gonna be subtle no matter how hard Paige tries 😃

Soooo, Part 6 was suspiciously too fluffy ya know, I feel like you’re just setting us up. Giving us a taste of joy, only to rip it from us next chapter. I’m on evil writer Nivi watch.

Favourite lines/quotes:

“Did I know that my granddaughter goes to her godfather’s special camp for the sport that her mother plays and she’s obsessed with?”

Because the view in front of them is beautiful but Paige’s eyes are on Azzi and she’s staring at her as if the view is nothing in comparison. – side note: this line and this scene made me nostalgic for the stargazing scene in the UCLA fic 🥹

Alright bestie, this review is a biiig boi but I thought I owed you for being late with the part 5 review so hopefully this makes up for it a little! Also, I’ll prolly be late in reviewing the next one if (when 🤞) it’s out next week cause life is lifing so I’m sorry in advance 😭

Thank you as always for keeping us warm and fed! Hope you’re doing well btw!! Is the baby fever still at a high? Cause I was at the park with my friend and her 1-yr old the other day and omg he was being the sweetest little bean ever and the baby fever was FEVERING but then I realised I’m a baby (adult) too so I promptly brought the fever back to reality 😅

Love ya Nivi, have a great week ahead bestie 💗

-🙋‍♀️

BABES HELLOOO <3 I've been waiting for your thoughts!

This whole fic is very Back to December coded and it's one of my top 5s too and it just fit so well with chapter 5

#FreeDrewBueckersFromDumbassPaigeyAndPookie my poor little man was traumatized and they need to make it up to him immediately

I LOVE KATIE FUDD. And she just gives such entertaining chaotic mom energy and I feel like especially with Paige, she really keep that girl humble (and holds her when she needs it)

The 1 references galore because while I won't subject y'all to an actual depressing fic, I simply can't stop myself from adding the vibes

LMAO Steph is so universally loved I kinda adore that man and he'll be making an appearance again at some point I think.

Listen Stephie and Paige are the definition of matching each other's freak except it's matching each other's dramatics like they're gonna run into each other's arms like they haven't seen each other in years every damn time

Katie tried to nudge them and didn't realize all these idiots needed was a tap to literally full-speed a head (well with some breaks of course)

I cackled writing dumbapples ngl

The marriage proposal is definitely before the draft...that's all you're getting lol

Y'all think Azzi's guilty now when no one's even saying anything to her, just wait for Drew Bueckers and his way with words :)

I am also very excited for more Curry Camp scenes!

I don't think anyone loves or understand the stargazing the scene the way you do babes and I appreciate it <3

Ah lovie, review whenever you can. Even if it's months and month later, I will still be just as excited to read your thoughts!

The baby fever is in fact still higkey baby fever-ing and I don't know how and when it'll stop but I'm not even really trying to stop it.

#ask #fic talk #UCLA ANON LOML FR <3 #“evil writer nivi watch” is crazy like no trust at all huh?

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magic-is-something-we-create · 11 months ago

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2023 recap + 2024 plans

i wrote 261,200 words in 2023; 172,500 of those for Whispers, 88,700 for Goddess-Touched!

i read 16 books to completion, beta'd for an additional 2, am currently reading 3, and got partway through 5 others before having to put them down.

i maintained my streaming schedule with only a handful of emergency-related exceptions, and drew, uh, a shit ton over the course of the year!

writing goals for 2024:

fix Echoseers (full stylistic rewrite, along with some plot tweaks)

finish the first draft of Goddess-Touched (and edit it hardcore as well)

work on as-yet-unnamed book 4 of tms

fix up Whispers with the added feedback of beta readers

start querying Whispers (i'll look into self publishing down the road if i don't end up finding an agent. the way my brain functions i must cling to the hope of not having to market it myself tooth and nail for the time being)

POTENTIALLY. if my brain fixates on it. write the script for The Lost so that i actually have something to work with to make the comic happen

one of my offline friends is starting to get into writing, and im hoping to help them through some of the early rough patches and potentially co-write a thing with them!!

i completely dropped the ball on the weekly writing updates so im gonna try and get back to that on wednesday. and potentially get back into the weekly ask games!

non-writing goals for 2024:

youtube. i want to make speedpaints and worldbuilding videos and shit. ive already made the basic animation stuff to have a lil sona to do the gesturing for me and i know how to make videos i just havent done it in a While

twitch!! i want to stream a bit more often because its fun and if i let myself branch out into video games as well as art itll be easier to do that. u might see me streaming in the evenings sometime soon. (psst im not streaming this weekend as im still doing a shit ton of holiday/social stuff but the weekend of the 13th ill be back to both patreon and twitch baybee)

SPEAKING OF i want to get my shit together enough to do like. monthly short story releases for my patrons/ko-fi members. early access, that is, so if i post one in january, it'll be posted here a month or two later for all to see/read

i want to read as many books as i did in 2023, if not more! im also considering adding book reviews/thoughts to youtube or patreon/ko-fi perks

my weekend hiatuses aren't going anywhere. having time where im not actively engaging with tumblr + don't feel obligated to do Anything online has done wonders for my mental health and i highly recommend it. focus mode on my phone and leechblock on desktop has helped so so so much

and that's all i'm sharing here!! i hope 2024 is a better year for all than the last <3

#braindumps.txt #writing update #aboutthewarlord #2024 goals

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vertebreakher · 9 months ago

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When I was a little kid, I used to be pretty arrogant and elitist towards a lot of anime. I thought shonan was stupid and Dragon Ball Z was for idiots. I thought I was hot shit for drawing the characters from the playstation games I was interested in and that the kids who drew dragon ball characters in their notebooks were shit artists by virtue of "being unoriginal" or something.

I was a pretty shit kid. It took watching Gurren Lagaan years later to course correct me on my frankly objectively terrible opinions, and I didn't stop viewing Dragon Ball with some measure of contempt until much later after that. My first exposure to Dragon Ball was through the abridged series, and I was one of those people who believed that DBZA actually wrote it better. Which is an exceptionally arrogant and unfair idea. There's a sort of pseudo-intelectual attitude towards Dragon Ball Z that I inherrited, as I was growing up being sarcastic and critical towards media was attractive. The internet was full of an entire cultural landscape of Nostalgia Critics, and video game reviewers who couldn't help themselves when describing everything japan makes as outlandish and wild. Ever western cartoon I was exposed to would inevitably do a bit where they would have some godawful parody based on someone's surface level idea of anime. I think that attitude is alive and well today, quieter but buried in the hearts of a lot of people who are on their way from being young adults to becoming crotchety old farts. Ready to speak up and pressure others to find ways to apologize for liking something. After I finally grew to love Dragon Ball Z for what it was I also grew to deeply dislike the framework of judging media through quantitative statements. Better, worse, dumber, smarter, peak, cringe.

I've never thought of myself as a Dragon Ball fan, but I've grown to love it more and more. Dragon Ball is a series that will find a way to burrow into your heart one way or the other. After you give it that first bit of forgiveness you'll find yourself letting go of more and more of the unfair reasons you hated it.

I won't belittle Akira Toriyama by pretending he ever had to be a perfect author. And I won't diminish his work by describing it in all the boring stupid ways people are keen to use. Dragon Ball Z can't be described honestly by calling it a show where people just glow funny colors, yell for a whole episode, and then start punching each other and throwing energy blasts. The curtains aren't just blue and neither is SSGSS, unless you suddenly need things to be complicated in order for them to be meaningful. Dragon Ball Z is a show about how he inherit the love people have raised us with, the arrogance and pettiness of the powerful elite, disregarding the idea that what you are capable of has anything to do with how you were born, and how hateful people can be irrevocably changed by being forced to acknowledge the worth of a single kind idiot. It is also exceptionally emotional, uses presentation and escalating force to poke at all the right spots of the brain to make you excited and interested in a show of power you otherwise might never be so you can feel the same adrenaline rush and payoff Goku does, and watch the atmosphere of the fights warp and twist around the changing feelings in the hearts of both the combatants and onlookers. It rocks and if you think it's all an accident I can point you to a man who says "I like birds." and make you look like a moron.

Gonna start fucking crying now.

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dragonomatopoeia · 1 year ago

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Do you have any recommendations for zines?

I ended up writing a pretty long front-matter to this ask, so I've put it all under a Read More. If you only want the resources, feel free to skip to the end

So: I am always going to be a little too pedantic and autistic for a comprehensive, unambiguous rec list. Someone asked me what my favorite book was once, and it felt like my brain stalled and rebooted five times.

Don't get me wrong! I love putting specialized recommendations together, like puzzle-box mystery novels, or horror genre video games with thematic emphasis on grief, or documentaries on sewage treatment

But I am very, very bad at recommending general purpose Media full stop. alas I am a fussy and particular creature who hisses at five star rating systems on review websites because I think using the same Quality Metric regardless of genre and medium and purpose is Silly

Making recs gets even more difficult with things like zines, where they are small press by nature. A lot of my favorite zines are DIY projects with Very Small Distributions. One of my prized possessions is a small, hand-drawn zine of one hundred cats the artist drew with their eyes closed, which they gave to me for free because they liked my shirt. But that's a zine that means something to me because of circumstance and taste and my own ability to pick it up in person

Your mileage tends to vary with this stuff. If I found a Repo The Genetic Opera zine that ranks every organ in the human body, I have friends that would love that WAY more than I would, and I'd probably send it their way. If I found a zine about Gundam and gender and disability and idealized bodies that have been shaped into weapons, then I have dozens of friends I would need to send copies of it to, but that wouldn't make it any less niche. Zines are for VERY specific audiences. That's one of the best things about them!

That Being Said! There ARE popular, more-accessible, or more well-known zines and artists with broader appeal, and I mean that in an enthusiastic, complimentary manner.

I've even seen zines being advertised on my tumblr dashboard. Zines like:

Oh No! A kidpix zine by Louie Zong (Pay what you want- all proceeds donated to LA Foodbank)

Golem Zine is a publication by and for Jewish creatives living in areas where Jewish life is challenged. Their Out West issue sold out before I could grab a copy ($10 per issue, physical)

FYMA: A Lesser Key to the Appropriation of Jewish Magic & Mysticism goes hand in hand with the previous zine, I think (Pay what you want)

But you're more likely to get something that caters to your specific interests and artistic sensibilities by getting in touch with your community members, asking friends who have similar tastes, or checking out some of these resources:

Your Local Library (I'm being serious here-- your library likely has connections to local artists, galleries, resources, and e-resources that can set you on the path to zines you'll enjoy)

Any local art walk or small press events near you (your library can help you find these)

Itch.io's Zine Tag (Adding more tags will help you filter these)

Papercut Zine Library's Virtual Library

Internet Archive's Zine Collections

The DC Punk Archive Zine Library (Specific to punk and DIY interests, as you might imagine)

The Library of Congress Online Zine Web Archive Collection

QZAP (The Queer Zine Art Project)

POCZP (People of Color Zine Project-- and they're on tumblr!)

Hevelin Fanzine Collection (Literally a bunch of sci-fi, horror, and fantasy fanzines that were all collected by one guy which are now being digitized)

From Staple to Spine: A Compendium of Zine-Related Books (This doesn't have zines itself, but the books included can be a great starting point for where you should be looking and what will be of interest to you)

I also recommend making your own zine! It's fun to make things and put words and images on paper.

And if you downloaded the bundle for Racial Justice and Equality off itch.io, you already own the Electric Zine Maker (Warning for brightly colored, glitched, and moving visual elements that may cause eyestrain. I would also be wary if you're prone to migraines)

I know this has been a Lot and I got a bit carried away, but I hope that this helps you in your quest for finding cool, obscure art made by people who care deeply about niche topics. Personally, that's my favorite kind of art

#asks #anonymous #recs #resources #should i tag this as research aids. i feel like this is now a research aid

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midnight-sun-01 · 2 years ago

Text

The Price of Truth Chapter 12

Rating: 18+ minors, this ain’t it for you, get out of here

Pairing: OC x Crosshair

Warnings: these apply to the entire work and will not appear in each chapter: alcohol use, unprotected sex, violence, canon-typical gore, swearing, let me know if I missed anything

Note: In this chapter, specifically, there is alcohol use, swearing, mentions of gore and violence, possible trauma (?) and suggestive material. It's not smut (yet. This is a slow burn.)

Wordcount: 4255

Summary: What does the batch do to unwind after a tough mission? Will Poppy be a part of that? How will their interactions change with lower inhibitions? Read on to find out.

Sorry if the formatting is weird, my computer is old so I had to get creative with posting this.

<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

“Time’s up, Wrecker!”

“Just 5 more minutes!”

“All the hot water is going to be gone if you stay in there for 5 more minutes! You’ve had 10 extra minutes already,” Poppy called back through the refresher door.

“I just got in here!”

“And now it’s time to get out,” she replied, banging her fist on the door again.

“It’s not my fault you drew the short straw,” he answered.

Poppy leaned her forehead against the door, sighing, and accepted defeat. She supposed she might as well try to review some footage and check in with Coltway back on Coruscant while she had the chance. Peeling herself away from the door, she headed down the hall.

Once she was safely ensconced back in her bunk, with the lights of hyperspace travel flashing past her window, she booted up her holo and pulled up the footage she had captured.

As the scenes she had witnessed on Geonosis flashed up on her screen, her breathing sped up. She was pleased to see that the adjustment in camera lens meant that the footage was much clearer now, but it also looked even more brutal from this angle. She could see every second of being stuck under the baking hot sun, sprinting to their ship while the insects closed in flying toward them in a solid wall in crystal clear detail. She could see the Geonosian grabbing her arm and face, Crosshair pulling it off her, and the squeeze of a trigger. Panic, fear, heat, dust, and blood all swirled through the frames, almost making her feel like she was back in that desert.

She shook her head and rewound the frames of the footage, going back over that moment where the Geonosian had collapsed under the fatal blaster bolt. Mechanically, it was such a simple thing. Point and squeeze. Psychologically, it was anything but simple.

What did this make her now? Surely not a soldier, she wasn’t anywhere close to the level of the Batchers. A civilian? She didn’t quite feel like that either. She didn’t regret her actions, she would do it again if she had to, but she did wonder how that blaster bolt would leave its mark upon her soul in turn.

She shot the footage over to Coltway along with a short summary of what had been happening, and was just standing up to go pound on the door of the bathroom again when her holo buzzed. Looking down, she saw it was her editor videoing her.

“Hi Coltway,” she said in greeting, sliding up the answer button.

“Poppy, how-“ he was partway through his sentence when he stopped dead, staring at her. “Blast, Poppy, what happened?” he demanded.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I mean I’ve just looked at the footage you sent me. Have you seen yourself since then? You look like you’ve just gone through a battle.” “I actually haven’t seen myself yet,” she admitted. “One of my squad members likes to take his time in the shower, and it isn’t my turn yet.” She leaned back against the wall her bunk backed up to. “And, as a matter of fact, Coltway, I did just go through a battle.”

“I can tell,” he replied dryly. They both remained silent for a moment longer before he continued in a gentler voice, “it looked terrible out there in the footage you sent. Was that Geonosis?”

She nodded.

“Was it as bad as it looked?” he asked quietly.

She nodded again, tears pricking the inner corners of her eyes. She wasn’t even sure why she felt them coming as she didn’t feel particularly sad. Fighting against the pressure growing behind her eyes she said, “it was every bit as bad as it looked. The Geonosians, Coltway,” she shook her head, resting a hand on her forehead, but before she could stop them, she felt the tears fall hot and fast. “The stories about them are real. Some of them don’t think at all, they operate purely off instinct, and their instincts were screaming at them to rip us limb from limb.” She wiped her eyes and sniffed, looking back into the holo, where she saw him gazing back at her in concern.

“Did you all make it back safely?”

“Yeah, we all made it out of there in one piece. We almost lost one guy, but we were able to grab him and pull him onto our ship.” She cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

Coltway nodded solemnly, watching her, then abruptly said, “I want you to come back.”

“What?”

“Come back to Coruscant,” he continued. “This assignment is too dangerous. I never should have sent you out there. We can send someone else.”

“Are you kidding me?” she snapped back. “Come back? And do what, exactly? Sit around in the office all day waiting for someone to send me reports from the field? And what do you think Chancellor Palpatine and Mas Amedda would have to say about me coming back early? Or having new people assigned to this project? They asked for me, specifically.”

“We could tell Mas Amedda that the field work was too dangerous for someone of your experience level,” Coltway argued, running a hand through his crimson hair.

“Mas Amedda knows what my field experience is and we both know damn well he won’t accept that excuse. Plus, you want me to just abandon this? What about Ric? What about my squad?”

“Mas Amedda will get over it eventually, it would just be a rough few months for us. Ric would understand, and you don’t owe anything to this squad,” he said heatedly.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m not doing it,” she said stubbornly, crossing her arms. “I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am. I’m not going back just to cower behind my desk with my tail between my legs and wait for the strong menfolk to send me reports,” she said acidly. “Ric would understand, and I owe it to him. I also owe it to this squad to tell their story.”

Coltway’s brown eyes softened, and he gave her a thoughtful look, but said nothing. Finally, he let a long breath out through his nose and said, “fine. But promise me,” he looked very hard at her, “that you will get every kind of training you can, when you can.”

She nodded in agreement. That was more than fair, and smart.

“I would also recommend backing up your data somewhere safe. Don’t trust just one source of encryption, and write everything down.”

“Okay,” she agreed.

“And replace that tiny blaster of yours.”

The warm water cascaded down her back, washing away the dirt and grit and sweat that clung to her skin. Wrecker had finally gotten out of the refresher after an extra half hour in there, and Poppy had ducked gratefully inside, having to peel the clothes off her skin that were caked to her, the dried insect guts creating a glue. She’d decided to just throw them away, rather than trying to salvage them.

As she rinsed soap out of her hair and ran her hands over her back, her fingers lightly grazed the scar stretching across it. Such a strange thing, to be changed so much, inside and out, in such a short time.

She flipped off the water and toweled off, enjoying the steam that kept the room from sinking into the cold clutches of space. As she examined the cut on her cheek in the mirror that the Geonosian’s pincer had left, she thought she heard voices nearby.

She peeked her head slightly out of the door, a cloud of steam billowing out, and her wet hair swinging with her movements. She could definitely hear Wrecker’s voice down the hall.

“Aw, come on, it’s been long enough!” he whined.

“If it is a matter of her longevity or grit, I would say that today certainly reinforces both,” came Tech’s voice. “I agree with Wrecker.”

“Look,” Hunter’s even, commanding voice replied, “we don’t even know her stance on stuff like this. I don’t want to make her feel obligated, and she’s still a civilian.”

“You didn’t see it, but she didn’t fire that blaster like a civilian today when I tackled that bug off her,” came Crosshair’s deep, even tone.

She crept further down the hallway, stealthily coming closer. “The worst that happens is we ask her and she says no,” Crosshair continued.

“I can hardly believe I’m saying this, but I also agree with Crosshair,” said Tech’s voice again. “It is time the squad loosened up a bit. Let’s offer her some.”

“Offer me some what?” said Poppy, stepping into the cockpit where they were all gathered, her wet hair clinging to her back.

All four of her squad members jumped as she said those words. Tech stood frozen and stiff, staring at her through his goggles. Wrecker laughed nervously and looked at Hunter. Hunter scratched the back of his head and replied, “nothing, it’s just a bit of a tradition we have after some tough missions, but I’m not sure today counts.”

“Today doesn’t count as a tough mission?” she asked incredulously. “If today isn’t a tough mission, what is?”

“Well, it was a tough mission, but I’m just not sure it’s a good idea,” he rambled on.

Poppy cut her eyes to Crosshair who was watching her closely. “What’s the tradition, Crosshair?”

He leaned his Firepuncher against the wall, smirked slightly, then replied “Tech, it’s time for us to go on a little field trip.”

10 minutes later they were all gathered at the furthest end of the ship, crammed in a small access tunnel mainly used for maintenance. Wrecker was so big he had to wait in a larger hallway.

“Alright, you’ve all been super secretive. What’s this tradition?” she asked, leaning against a wall and eyeing them each in turn.

In response, Tech looked at Hunter, who nodded. Crosshair squeezed past her, his back brushing her front in the close space, and her heart jumped. She ignored Hunter’s sharp gaze. Crosshair pulled a loose wall panel off, and behind it-

“Is that what I think it is, Tech?” she asked sharply, pulling herself forward off the wall she was leaning against.

“If you mean, is this a modified alcohol still, retrofitted to work with the cooling units condensing constantly as the ship flies, then, yes, it is what you think it is,” he replied simply.

“Oh Maker,” she laughed, “You’re making hooch!”

She leaned in closely to look at it. The boiler was surrounded with a large container, and had an arm attached to the top, leading to the cooling unit that came up through a distilling column, and at the bottom of the system were several large jars of clear liquid, packed carefully away. She laughed; leaning in to grab one, uncorked it, and took a whiff. It had almost no scent, except for a lingering bite of citrus, cinnamon, and pine. She groaned lightly, enjoying the simple home comfort of the smell of a drink, and turned to find the three of them watching her almost anxiously.

“Well what are you waiting for, let’s crack these open!” she exclaimed, leading the way back to the cockpit. “Wrecker, grab the glasses!”

“Aha yes! I knew she’d want to have a drink after all that!” his loud voice echoed back through the hallway.

Back in the cockpit Wrecker and Poppy were already halfway through their first drinks when the other three caught up to them, bottles of liquor in their arms.

“I can’t believe you guys thought I wouldn’t want to drink with you,” she said, grinning over at Crosshair, who grinned back at her.

“I never had any doubt you would say yes,” he replied, taking the seat next to hers.

“I also did not think there was much doubt,” said Tech.

“Look, we just didn’t want you to feel obligated or uncomfortable,” said Hunter.

“Jeez, if you didn’t want me to join in, you could’ve just said so, Hunter,” Poppy teased easily.

“No, that’s not what I, we just, I just, look, if we had,” he spluttered incoherently while Poppy just laughed harder, Wrecker and Tech joining in her laughter. Even Crosshair gave a chuckle next to her, leaning back in his seat, perfectly relaxed. Finally, Hunter grinned reluctantly back at her. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m glad you’re part of our squad. We’re all glad.”

He filled each of their glasses with the sharp liquid, raised his own, and said “to Poppy joining us. Today was a hard day, but it’s always a good day when we all come back.”

Wrecker, Tech, and Crosshair each raised their glasses and joined Hunter in draining them. Poppy felt her throat tighten a bit, but cleared it and spoke to the table, “Thank you, truly. It means a lot for me to be here with you all.” In spite of herself she glanced sideways at Crosshair, and saw him watching her closely, a slight grin on his face.

“So are you gonna interview us next?” asked Wrecker.

“If you all would let me, yes, I’d like to hear your stories,” she responded.

“I’m up for it,” said Crosshair, surprising her.

“As am I,” Tech seconded. “I expect you to be as skilled as Ric. Though you already quite surpass him in the looks department.”

Poppy looked at him, eyes wide with shock, a slight smile on her mouth.

“Shut up, Tech,” growled Crosshair, chunking a toothpick in his direction across the table.

“It was an objective statement,” Tech replied with a sly smile in Crosshair’s direction.

“Well, thank you, Tech,” she replied, laughing again.

“That’s settled then. We’ll all do interviews,” said Hunter. “Who’s dealing first on Sabacc?”

Five rounds of Sabacc and several drinks later, and Poppy was feeling quite giggly. Crosshair had long since stretched his arm to rest across the back of her chair, and Tech had won the last three rounds of cards in a row, resulting in the current disagreement she was watching with entertainment across the table.

“You’re a cheater!” Wrecker was howling at Tech. “There’s no way you have luck that good!”

“Well, considering Sabacc is not a game of luck, but a game of skill, you are correct, I don’t have luck that good” Tech replied, pushing his goggles further up the bridge of his nose.

“You’ve won the last three hands!”

“And Crosshair won the two hands before that. Now accept the fact that I am superior at this pattern-recognition based game.”

“Deal again.”

The cards were dealt, the hands were shown, and to Poppy’s shock, she realized she had the winning hand.

“Haha, it’s me!” she said with glee, throwing down her cards triumphantly.

“This is not fair,” Wrecker muttered quietly. “I’m going to bed,” and he lumbered off down the hallway, one hand against the wall, steadying himself as he went.

“I also am going to sleep, as I should have won that hand, so I must be fairly intoxicated to have not noticed that pattern,” added Tech.

“I’m crashing too, I’m tired. I’ll see you guys in the morning,” said Hunter, and the two of them walked down the hall laughing and joking.

She looked sideways at Crosshair, suddenly aware of how alone the two of them were. She hadn’t expected this. She could see his high cheekbones up close, the thin lines of his tattoo etched around his eye. His shoulders were far broader than she had first realized, and his tall frame stretched out next to hers. If he’d wanted to, he could have easily pulled her onto his lap.

“Tech makes good liquor,” she said, to try and break the silence.

“Mmm, it is good,” Crosshair agreed, swirling some around his glass and throwing it back. “Although, I haven’t had a chance to try very many other kinds.”

“I remember this bar back on Coruscant that Ric and I used to go to,” she said. “When he got back from assignments, or you all came to Coruscant and he stopped to check in and work on our report together. The bar itself was pretty standard, except they had this one drink that they would bring to the table while it was on fire, and the flames were completely green. Ric was so brave. He would order it sometimes and he never seemed scared at all of getting burned when he drank it.” She let out a small smile and sighed deeply.

“I remember that,” said Crosshair.

“What?”

“I remember Ric telling me about those drinks, and about going to meet with you,” he said. “He always looked forward to it.”

“I felt like he was always looking forward to going off with you guys,” Poppy said, smiling at him. He met her eyes, smiling too, but there was a touch of sadness in it.

“What happened, with, you know, him,” she asked, hesitantly.

Crosshair took a deep sigh and looked away across the table, but did not withdraw his arm from where it still rested against the back of her chair.

“I, never mind, forget it, I’m sorry,” she muttered.

“We got a call to go out to the Pykes,” he said, still looking at the wall. She swiveled around in her chair to face him fully. “It wasn’t a normal mission. Normally, we get distress calls, like we did from General Kenobi. Pleas for help, requests for extraction, stealth missions, stuff like that. This was different. This came from very high up, a formal order.” He looked back at her, and she hardly dared to breathe as he continued. “I’m not positive who gave the order, but the mission directive was clear: go to the Pykes, eliminate their leaders, and extract a high value target.”

“Who could be that valuable?” she asked. “The Pykes are vicious. They’re ruthless. There’s a reason they’ve controlled the underworld for as long as they have.”

“I know, and that’s what we wondered too, but we went to Oba Diah like we were ordered.” He let out a deep sigh, and Poppy could feel his shoulders tense next to her. “Everything went according to plan when we got there. It almost went too smoothly. We got in without detection, made our way through to the Pykes prisoner block, and had almost made it to the cell door when they attacked. They came out from everywhere, we were outnumbered at least fifteen to one. It was almost like they knew we were coming and waited until they could corner us. All hell broke loose. We were getting shot at, both sides throwing grenades and yelling, smoke and fire everywhere. The Pykes weren’t going to let their prisoner go without a fight.” He glanced down, running a fingernail along the edge of the table.

“I made my way up to a balcony so that I could have a decent vantage point to fire from, and Hunter, Wrecker, and Tech held our position. We had a chance, their line was breaking, and Ric ran for the cell door.” His voice shook slightly, and he took a steadying breath, gripping the table hard. “None of us told him to stop. We’d been in worse scrapes before, and we all thought he could make it. I was shooting down everyone in his path. He was almost to the door when one of them stepped out from behind cover. It was a stupid move for him to make, almost like he didn’t care if he died, but he aimed right at Ric and I aimed at him.” Poppy was holding her breath, not moving, watching the pain in his face show itself for the first time.

“He made his shot, and I missed.” He blew out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. “Ric got hit right in the middle of his back, and he was bleeding fast. I’ve never missed a shot in battle until that moment. My second shot got him, but it was too late.” He wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

“Wrecker grabbed Ric, another wave of reinforcements came in for the Pykes, and we had no choice but to get out of there. We were overwhelmed. We made it back to the ship, but barely, and we had to run. Hunter piloted so that Tech could work on him, but Ric died on the floor of the cargo hold. None of us could save him.”

At that moment Poppy became aware that there were tears running down her cheeks, not just at the loss of her friend, but at the pain and guilt the man sitting across from her was feeling. Hadn’t he told her before, on Kamino, that it was the sniper’s job to watch the entire squad from above and make sure no harm could come to them? Isn’t that what he had done their very first mission on Felucia, when he had fired a shot so close to her she’d smelled her burned hair? Hadn’t he mentioned to her that he had the highest accuracy rate of any known sniper in the galaxy?

Suddenly it all made sense to her. It was his job to protect the rest of the squad, when he could see the entire battle, and eliminate harm before it could ever reach them. No wonder that shot on Felucia had been so close-he had been worried about that droid getting to her, and her being unable to get away from it in time. And if he’d only missed that once, and had the highest accuracy in the galaxy, of course he felt such a personal responsibility for Ric’s death. He had failed in his responsibilities, just for a moment, and it had cost him one of the few friends he had. She wondered just how much he had suffered over this loss.

She put her hand in his, his large fingers closing around hers with a steady weight, and pulled his face to look at her with her other hand.

“It wasn’t your fault, Crosshair,” she whispered.

“How do you know?” he asked. “If I could have just made that shot. I should have made that shot.”

“It was the Pykes’ fault. Ric knew the risks. I know the risks. We’ve both accepted them. If it wasn’t one of the Pykes it could have been a Geonosian just as easily.”

He looked up at her.

“It wasn’t. Your. Fault.” She said again.

Slowly, he raised his free hand to gently stroke her cheek, careful not to scrape against her cut. She suddenly became aware of how close they were sitting to each other, nearly knee to knee, and her breath caught in her throat as her stomach swooped.

His hand moved around to the back of her head to tangle in her now-dry hair, and he slowly leaned forward, eyes on hers, almost testing to see if she was alright with this.

Just as slowly, hardly daring to breathe, she let him pull her closer, until their lips gently brushed.

It started unhurried, then, after a few seconds, she felt the kiss deepen as he pulled her more firmly toward him. It was like whiskey, like fire, it ignited her and lit her from the inside. She could feel his strong hands gripping her. She let him pull her closer, and pressed herself against him, her hands grasping his shoulders and pulling him nearer to deepen the kiss. They broke apart for a moment, his eyes searching hers, then crashed back together, a new urgency in both of them. Their lips parted, and he traced his tongue lightly across her bottom lip making her groan and pull him still closer.

As his tongue flicked over her lip again, she found herself sitting across his broad lap, both her legs straddling his, without realizing she had moved. He was so tall her feet no longer reached the floor while she was sitting on him. Her arms encircled his shoulders and she let her lips part, his tongue sweeping greedily in, the two of them locked together in a dance.

After several seconds they broke apart, both panting slightly. His fingers brushed her cheek again.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for days,” he murmured against her mouth.

She blushed deeply, but remained silent, enjoying his words and the feeling of his lips on hers. Finally, he stood and pulled her to her feet, leading her down the hallway to where their bunks were. She leaned back against her door, looking up at him, and he rested his tall frame on his forearm against the door, caging her in with his presence. She had to stop herself from pressing against him again, wanting to feel what it would be like for her to be pinned between him and the wall. He smirked down at her as if he knew exactly what she wanted.

“Thank you for pulling the Geonosian off me,” she said.

“Thank you for not letting it strangle me,” he replied.

For a moment, they said nothing, just looked at one another. Then, his hand gripped her side, and he leaned in for another long, deep kiss. When they broke apart his hand lingered, a strong, warm weight, before he finally said, “goodnight, sweetheart. See you in the morning.” Then he stepped slowly back into his room, not taking his eyes off her until she had ducked into her own bunk.

Taglist: @fangirl-goes-nova

#star wars #oc x crosshair #the bad batch fanfiction #clone force 99 #clone trooper crosshair #tbb #bad batch crosshair #star wars fanfic #clone wars #crosshair tbb

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skadream · 2 years ago

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Rudy's Book Reviews: You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell

yeah thats right im gonna be a phannie on main for a second. this is the start of my book review series which i hope to actually folow through with lol. this one ive been listening to as an audiobook but i do have the physical copy as well cuz im like that! next review will hopefully be gideon the ninth so tune in for that, but for now, read this review under the cut:

this book is a practical mental health guide, honestly a lot of it is stuff that you can learn in therapy so like if you have a therapist that you like then maybe its not worth it BUT theres like slim pickins for mental health books that arent just anecdotal evidence without actually talking about what people did to help them get better, just "yea i was sad but then i got therapy ✌️" or books that are so couched in psychiatric jargon its hard for a layperson to get into OR just vaguely inspiring bullshit.

its all written with the help of an actual licensed psychologist person, so no bullshit, no just do yoga and drink water shit (although obviously exercise and hydration and physical health are talked about) and yes he mentions medication and LICENSED therapy if those end up being necessary steps to take with your mental health!!! which again, in the world of self help type books, tends to be rare advice which is DEPRESSING IN A DIFFERENT WAY LMAO.

ofc it should go without saying that a book can never be a replacement for therapy but Considering How The World Is, this book is good for like maybe stepping into learning some coping skills as well as figuring out a plan before, during, and after crisis mode. i would say the tone is more serious than humorous but dan puts a lot of his own natural snarky sarcasm stink all over this book which obv that can be a taste thing if youre not into brit sarcasm mode but as a One Of Those i like it lol

in terms of Dan And Phil™️-isms, theres a sprinkling of cute winks and nods and inside jokes that people who drew sharpie cat whiskers on their faces as teens would understand but Normies will not find to be out of place or anything, there's also some storytimes of like his previous tours or living as a dropout youtuber being stress-inducing and things like that but not a ton which i kinda prefer cuz it makes it easier for me to recommend this book to people who dont give a shit about Phandom Memes

theres an introduction which is kind of a short summary of who dan is, basically just summarizing his youtube videos talking about depression and when he came out as queer and all that fun stuff, if youre a psycho hardcore fan person like me you might find it to be a long and unnecessary read, but if youre someone who didnt know about this guy and are curious as to why he would even write a book like this its a pretty good synopsis.

the american cover has dan's stupid face on it, and as someone who is a big fan of dan's stupid beautiful face, i wish we had the EU version with like tasteful yellow stripes on it bc it looks so nice, but i mean i just keep it on my bookshelf with the spine showing which is just a nice yellow spine with the title and looks unassuming so its not THAT big a deal lmaoo.

in terms of the audiobook, dan's voice is quite soothing and there's all these like audio cues and fitting music which i really like. the only downside is, for example, he reads out this timed breathing exercise that is meant to be like a five minute exercise, but it's not actually timed? so like i want to do the breathing exercises along with him reading it out but he reads it so fast its kinda like bro slow down you said breathe in for five seconds why you going ahead two seconds later homie. thats my only criticism i think obv if you are reading it and not listening you can just do the exercises by timing yourself lol.

ummmm idk if im gonna give a number at the end of these reviews!!! i give this book a big thumbs up!! 👍 woohoo yeah baby i am very proud of dan's current life journey thing that he's going on and i think this is a great book for people who need help which is everyone alive today right now :)

#rudyreviews

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lukewholey-blog · 1 year ago

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Thought of doing this Blog but not sure if I should due to how controversial it is as it’s about youtubers I used to like but not so much anymore. Its not a callout post or me going on about how much I hate this people, these people are just doing their jobs and I have the Utmost respect for those that are fans of these people and you have the right to still like them and their content. It’s just the stuff they do or the stuff they did that make me not be a fan of them anymore and hit ‘unsubscribe’. I wont link them their channels out of respect. If you like these youtubers and their channels that’s great. all the power to you. I thought it would be a way to get it off my chest and Explain why I don’t like these people so much anymore. So without further ado here are my:

YOUTUBERS I USED TO SUBSCRIBE TO BUT NOT ANYMORE.

5. The Completionist

Man, this one is the most heartbreaking. Jirard was one of my favourite Gaming youtubers where he makes you proud to be a gamer. I did feel his reviews were best during the Greg era as Greg was the comedic foil to Jirard’s straight man. And even after the fallout and the episodes he was in were re-reviewed for ‘New Game plus’, they were still good. Sadly after December 2023 where he was exposed and accused of Charity Fraud, his team left and his reviews went downhill to becoming just..basic reviews. No in-depth list of things to do and collect to fully complete the game and his ratings were just meh. His fanbase has been split with those that still like Jirard and those that hate him and want him to go down. I still like Jirard and I hope he recovers from what’s going on but with the state of his channel it’s hard to say. I finally unsubscribed to him as he only uploaded 2 videos in the last 4 months. No update video or at least his finale review of Diddy Kong’s quest. I will check in on occassion to see if the channel might one day bounce back.

4. Projared.

I used to like this guy from the early 2010′s as he was sorta part of the new wave of online Video game Reviewers along with Jontron & The Completionist (as well as Caddicarus later down the line). I liked his Video Game Reviews and is a big fan of Final Fantasy. Then there was this massive controversy that he was accused of some things ,and everyone turned on him wanting to see him fail. I’m usually an Innocent until proven guilty kind of guy so I wasn’t sure if he actually did those things but everyone believed he did. Then Projared came out with a video proving his innocence and although he was cleared of what he did, everyone then started liking him and was on his side again and was like “it’s cool man, we knew you were innocent the whole time”. What dissapointed me was that NOBODY was on his side when the allegations came out. Everyone wanted to see him face justice. So now even though he still does videos I now find it awkward to watch his stuff without being reminded of the things he was accused of doing.

3. Top Hat Gaming Man

Another Video game Reviewer I used to like and also he’s British as I like to support British youtubers. I also like his reviews of Handheld consoles and games. But I know he needed to make money so he had to appeal to the Youtube Algorhytmn and that is Clickbatey Rant videos which I hate. You know, the videos where people shit on the things you love due to opinions and try to piss you off. Being a nintendo fan myself I started to dislike his anti-Nintendo vids such as where he says the N64 was overrated and yeah I get the problems the N64 has but he makes it out as if you should be ashamed of ever liking or owning an N64 as if it was the worst Nintendo console ever (which it isn’t). And even his fans agreed with him. I understand the problems and dodgy practices Nintendo has done but I think you should have the right to enjoy Nintendo games and consoles.I think the video where he drew the line was that he says the graphics of the 2019 Link’s Awakening remake was awful. I don’t even get why anyone would find it terrible. So the graphics of Animal Crossing and modern Pokemon games get a free pass then? I know it’s his opinion but I found it to be a bit of an insult. I Don’t think he does those videos anymore and I have my respect for the guy and his work but I’m not into his stuff anymore.

2. Mugimikey

I used to follow this guy from the early days of Youtube where he made Sonic X parody dubs and does really good voices of Sonic & Robotnik. But he really found his niche when he made Sonic Parody animations, and they were funny and disgusting. I liked his Robotniclaus videos and the Sonic Boom Parody set in a coffee shop. But then he only made animations based around one subject “Sonic Meets X” which I guess is to appeal to the Youtube algorhythm. And I have to say it can get really mediocre if it’s just ‘Sonic meets this character’ for 50 videos. But there was one I really didn’t like and that I felt he went too far in (which might be a bit hypocritical due to all the disgusting things Robotnik & classic Robotnik get up to in his animations) which was ‘Sonic Meets Mario’. Based on this erotic fan fic series called ‘sonic’s ultimate harem’ where Sonic brags to Mario about all the women he slept with. I know it’s satirical but I found it so awkward to see Sonic bragging about how he’s dating peach and he started groping and sexually abuse her in front of Mario. I do not like seeing Women being treated or touched like that in public and people seem to love it! So I no longer follow his stuff any more. I still check on his animations on occassion and he did do parodies on the second Sonic movie.

1. Game Grumps

Oh boy, the big one. I used to love Game Grumps in the early-late 2010′s Especially during the Jontron era and the early Dan years. They were pretty much one of the last major Let’s play channels that are still around. The problem is that Arin is no longer remembered as an animator anymore which was what put him on the map in the first place and made the channel popular. Dan’s a great guy but he kinda acts like a confused Dad and both he and Arin are like a couple of boring old guys now. Also Arin hardly pays attention to the games he plays and in recent years they would play really mediocre indie horror games or rubbish simulator games. I was even put off by their clickbait titles where they don’t tell you what game they are playing, but they seemed to have stopped that. Also I feel their videos are too long and have guests on that nobody cares about (seriously who the hell is Wilbur Soot?) But I still respect the guys and still check in on them from time to time. I really like it when they play Visual Novels as it demonstates their voiceacting and I like their riffing too. But other than that they are pretty mediocre now and I can’t really stand how Arin can be so incompetent in playing certain games and trying to be ‘hip and cool’ as well. And I am so fed up with how they now mostly play Monopoly, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy & Mario Party over and over and over with the occasional unique game thrown in. If you like these guys thats fine and I respect you for that.

EDIT: Even though I haven’t resubscribed to their channel I still watch Game Grumps depending on what they are playing. They still play retro games on occassion but I mostly watch them on Weekends where they play Danganrompa V3. Most of the week they play either boring simulator games, The same game show games or rubbish Indie Horror games.

So thats the end of my rant. I don’t really hate these guys I just think their content dont really appeal to me anymore. I respect you if you like them and enjoy their videos. I’m just expressing my own opinions.

#youtube #The completionist #projared #Top Hat Gaming Man #Mugimikey #game grumps

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