#Drew them after finishing the first and second game :') | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

torawro · 8 months ago

Text

I’D DIE FOR YOU (AND I HAVE). ( s.a. )

sousuke aizen & black!fem!reader.

cw ━━ ! minors, blank and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT. reader is portrayed as a black woman but you do not have to imagine her that way. using this map of the seireitei as a reference (i searched high and low for a consistent accurate one but it was hard). the first half is set pre-ryoka invasion / pre-soul society arc. the second half is aizen-centric (from his pov told from the 3rd person) and set post-tybw arc, years after he was sealed away in mugen, also including mention of events from vol. 1 of can't fear your own world (a light novel that's post-tybw & can be considered canonical); so all this being said: SPOILERS i guess???? of course you're welcome to read if you don't care about spoilers! somewhat based on 'die for you' by the weeknd & even more loosely based on 'dark red' by steve lacy. contains themes of heavy-ish angst, existential crises (?) & inner emotional turmoil within reader + aizen (separately). descriptions of character death, blood and violence. descriptions of manipulation/mind games. aizen is an unkind man. proofread (i did my best).

word count ━━ 11k

notes ━━ ! the way this fic was supposed to finished a month ago...but life once more gets in my way. and the way that it's this long....i anticipated the max being 10k but i greatly underestimated how long it would take to flesh out my idea. anywho i'm somewhat reentering my bleach era again. i’m not sure what it is but character analyses in the form of fanfiction is my jam rn like i really enjoyed writing this (i got tired of the length by like... 7k words lmao) but i like how this turned out. i've watched & read quite a bit of content that provide explanations as to why aizen is the way he is so i wanted to try my own portrayal of that in the context of canonical events. how i characterized him here is partially inspired by a fic i read about him last year so shout out to them for their support :D i hope i've depicted and humanized aizen well ♡. reblogs + commentary are heavily appreciated!!!!!

THE PAD OF YOUR THUMB SLOWLY glided against your bottom lip, the lingering aftertaste of jasmine tea still on its surface and on your breath. The absentminded motion of your thumb caressing your mouth, as if in deep contemplation, continued as you stared at the clock hanging on the wall above you.

It was past eleven, and the midnight hour only continued to draw near as time sustained its temporal march. And there you sat at your desk, floating in the limbo of your mind that was filled with hesitancy and admittedly, budding anticipation.

Your gaze lowered to the now empty porcelain cup, nothing remaining of its contents except the shriveled remnants of herbs and a few wayward drops of the brew.

Your senior comrade, captain Sōsuke Aizen, was correct in his prediction that you'd take a liking to its floral and delicate taste when he gifted you a jar full of the jasmine tea leaves as well as other ingredients.

The captain of Squad 5 seemed to be correct about a lot of things.

His intelligence and foresight, along with his kind and politely witty disposition, were qualities that you found somewhat charming, and gradually drew you closer to him.

Being the current third seat of the 9th company, your barracks and those of squad 5's were relatively close to each other's, so often you'd catch glimpses of and run into Captain Aizen on a pretty normal basis. Over the years, the conversations that bounced between the two of you expanded past the realm of formalities between a higher and lower ranking officer, and instead ranged in territories from literature, to art, to food & drink, and even to the politics of the government for which they were soldiers for.

Sometimes, you found it hard to believe that you managed to befriend a man like him. A man who seems to have mastered the balance between being a gentle soul, helpful to others, but also possessed enough refined power and skills to be named a captain within the Gotei 13.

Especially a man who wasn’t even of your own squad.

Despite the increasingly friendly relations and generally pleasant conversation, there were few moments where Aizen's words didn't feel quite. . . . real━ he didn't feel real. He spoke eloquently, often relying on figurative language to further illustrate his point and to breathe meaning into seemingly plain and meaningless words. But at times those words, his tone felt stained; stained with some substance or color you couldn't quite place. An enigmatic façade was painted over his speech, and it took too much mental capacity to try and find your own meaning in it.

So you'd often brush it off. Your over-reliance on your own reasoning that 'you weren’t able to come to a conclusion because there is no problem a conclusion could be generated from' successfully quieted your mind’s voice. You'd also frequently blame exhaustion, or your newfound hobby of watching human psychological crime shows during your off days for these subconscious ideas you had.

But you feared that the request Aizen made of you yesterday, the source of your current predicament, couldn't be blamed on any of those things. You looked at the clock again before returning to stare at your empty tea cup. For what reason could Sōsuke Aizen wish to meet you outside of the 1st division barracks? Specifically at this hour? You immediately thought of his question as uncharacteristic of him but prevented yourself from jumping to any further conclusions.

Aizen was a reasonable man, and you were sure there was a reasonable explanation.

With a final sigh of acquiescence, you stood up from your sitting position to retie your yukata before slipping a thicker, dark colored haori on top. You were unsure how cold it was this late at night or how long you'd be out, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

You paused for a moment, glancing longingly at your vanity mirror a few times, clearly torn between a decision, before giving in with a soft groan. Grabbing your favorite perfume, you quickly spritzed the spray onto both your inner wrists, either sides of your neck, and stray areas on your clothes. You’d proceed to make sure your hair was in order and your lips were as moisturized and glossy as a pair of tear-filled eyes before making your way to the door and slipping on your sandals.

Meeting with a captain— with Aizen of all people— in the dead of night resembled too closely to forbidden lovers rendezvousing under a fruit tree to fulfill their desires of embracing one another, with no one but the moon as their witness. The comparison alone caused the apples of your cheeks to burst aflame with embarrassment, and you lightly chastised yourself for even indulging in such an inappropriate train of thought. Such a scenario seemed far too deluded to even be considered ‘wishful thinking’.

But those delusions still seemed to make more sense than whatever other conclusion you have yet to reach.

Making your way out of your personal quarters, you activated your shunpo technique, stealthily hopping from one rooftop to the other in an effort to make it to Squad 1 barracks quicker.

After several minutes, your mind mostly engulfed with the 'what if's', the soles of your sandals finally touched ground, and you stood a few feet away from the massive walls and bridges that connected to and from the barracks. Even at night you were able to make out the bold-printed kanji for the number 1 that was painted on the building.

When you arrived, even from a nearby rooftop, you didn't see anyone around. Feelings of confusion and worry began to creep up and flicker to life in your mind.

But, as if your thoughts were as audible, you felt a light breeze of wind behind you, a familiar sound that indicated someone had made their presence known.

Startled, you reflexively reached for your zanpakuto, when you remembered that you hadn't even brought it with you. It still laid against the wall near your bed, just where you placed it earlier when you were relieved of your duties for the day.

You didn't think you needed it necessarily if you were just going to meet with Aizen, hence why taking it with you slipped your mind.

The flickers of concern were swiftly extinguished as your brain caught up with your body upon realizing who just appeared. A relieved sigh left your lips, a breath of air that seemed to release all the tension that had a grip on your heart and wound tight within your muscles. "Ah! Good evening Captain Aizen. You caught me off guard for a moment there."

"My apologies, that was not at all my intention." The Fifth Division Captain sported a dark colored scarf, his long captain's coat and the standard shihakushō all Gotei officers were supposed to wear. In the sash around his waist resided his own sheathed zanpakuto. His tawny hair maintained its usual part but looked slightly tousled, yet still remaining so in a meticulous fashion that made it look intentional.

The state of his hair alone, and his current facial expression made Aizen look more . . . approachable if that’s how you were to describe it. There was a glint in his eyes that you had seldom seen before.

"Thank you, for making your way down here to accommodate my rather. . . . atypical request. I again extend my apologies if I have inconvenienced you in any way."

You shook your head in reply, "It's alright, I wasn't doing anything too important anyway. Just having a cup of tea and delighting myself in a book before bed."

You glanced downwards at the foot or so of space that was wedged in between the two of you. You forced away the murmurs of your lingering thoughts that took note of how the moonlight and shadows danced across the surface of Aizen's face just right, and emphasized his decidedly handsome features.

"But having a complete and good night's rest is important to be fully functional in all areas of one's performance. Wouldn't you agree?"

You couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Yes, I do agree with that sentiment."

Aizen all but hummed in acknowledgement, letting a moment of silence fill the air before speaking again.

"Shall we be on our way?"

You nodded in agreement, following him as the both of you walked about the First Division grounds. From what you could tell based on your position, your aimless nightly stroll drew you closer to where Sokyoku Hill was located. The area became increasingly more grassy and contained less buildings.

Although Squad 1 grounds weren't terribly far from either of your barracks, you still weren't sure as to why Captain Aizen wished to meet out here. Initially you thought that perhaps he was just fond of this particular scenery, but really it could have been anything.

But still, you believed Aizen always had a purpose for everything he did.

After several moments, his warm voice replaced the evening silence, vocalizing your current thoughts. “I assume you are contemplating why it is I have asked you here, and I’m afraid the reason is quite benign. Truthfully, I just wished for your company. I often go on night walks to clear my head after a long day and thought I might invite you to join me this time, and have a conversation with each other."

Your brows shifted upwards, for that was not quite the answer you were expecting. It seemed too . . . simple. “Really? You just . . . wanted to talk with me? Plainly?”

The Squad 5 captain let out a short, soft laugh at the disbelief that was painted on your face. There was an expression of fondness present in his eyes and in the light smile he offered you. “Yes, exactly. I quite enjoy our discussions actually, they’re intellectually stimulating and relatively pleasant. You crossed my mind, and before yesterday, it has been quite some time since we’ve had the opportunity to unwind and talk.”

You hummed an mhmm in agreement, tearing your eyes away from Aizen’s side profile in favor of the hem of his captain’s haori, watching how it danced in the soft breeze. It seemed to be less distracting than the way Aizen peered down at you from time to time.

"I see. I am. . . . truly flattered by your words, Captain Aizen; you're too kind. Forgive me for asking but," you took longer strides so that you could fall into step next to him━ as if to speak to him more directly, "Why at this time? To talk with me, I mean. It couldn't wait until more . . . . . conventional hours?"

He chuckled again, and answered as smoothly as if he were awaiting you to ask him that. "Unfortunately, today's tasks ran a little long today, so I had to stay at my office later than usual." The spectacled man paused for a moment, before setting his soft gaze on you, "And besides, that completely defeats the purpose of inviting you on a night stroll, doesn't it?"

You ignored the heat flaring up in your cheeks again. Your mind refused to move past the fact that you had crossed Sōsuke Aizen's mind enough times━ or the times that he thought about you were significant enough━ and highly enough to invite you into his realm and indulge in these moments with him, when he very much could have done that alone.

A tender smile appeared on your lips, more towards yourself than the man next to you. "I. . . suppose it does."

The ashen-white moon only rose higher in the sky, providing an ambiance of tranquility as the both of you talked about whatever crossed the surface of your minds. Other times, the stillness of the night did the talking, and you'd listen to the leaves, and the wind, and the crickets sing together in harmony. Gradually as you walked and the beaten path grew more narrow, your figures drew closer together, until you could feel the long sleeves of his haori brush against your own.

You hadn't noticed that the two of you eventually stopped walking and paused under a tree until Aizen struck up conversation once more. When he called out your name in that gentle, velvety voice, you swore your heart was going to lurch out of your chest. The sound of your name rolled of his tongue so smoothly, the desire to hear it again grew within you.

"Uh━ yes, Captain Aizen?"

"Are you satisfied with way things are at the moment?"

You stood next to him, perplexed at his inquiry due to its vague nature. "Um, what. . . . things? I'm afraid I don't understand what you're asking."

The wind brushed Aizen's dark ochre tresses across his face as he took a step towards you, like the breeze itself was pushing him towards you. "Hm, perhaps I should be more clear then. Are you content with being a soul reaper? Are you satisfied with being a soldier for the Soul Society?"

With your brows slightly furrowed in thought, you remained silent for several seconds and overanalyzed his every word, trying to predict where he might be steering the conversation now. The longer you thought it over, the stronger that nagging feeling from within your soul became. The one that often told you what he was asking wasn't exactly . . . it didn't quite feel . . . . .

"This feels like a prelude to another insightful discussion on Shinigami━ and by extension━ Seiretei politics." Your words cut off your own thoughts, as if your mind was trying to sweep something under the proverbial rug.

Aizen huffed in amusement, before lightly shrugging, leaving your statement definitively unanswered.

You sighed as you seriously considered his question this time. "I mean sure, I guess. I'm somewhat satisfied with my job and all of . . . this," gesturing your hands in the air around you to emphasize your point. The 5th Division Captain made another humming noise, indicating that you still had his full attention. He inched a little closer into your personal space.

The mere action caused your next words to die in your throat and a quiet chuckle resounded from his, before your thoughts revived themselves again.

"Of course things could always be better but. . . . y'know. This is just how it is." You weren't quite sure if you should voice negative opinions about the Soul Society so plainly to a senior officer, even if he was the one who asked you in the first place, so you treaded lightly.

The same plainly relaxed smile from earlier remained painted across his lips, held in his chestnut irises was an emotion akin to affection. He seemed somewhat pleased that you were expressing your thoughts with him.

“And you? Are you satisfied, Captain Aizen?” You were unable to keep the teasing endearment out of your tone as you returned his gaze, casting aside the notions of Gotei officer seating and ranks for the moment. The air seemed like it shifted━ towards what, you weren't sure of━ but it kind of made you feel like you were adrift, floating in isolation from everything else around you.

It was still hard to process that you were alone with Captain Aizen right now. . . . at night.

A low hum reverberated within his chest, contemplative in nature as he replied, “Perhaps.”

The wind whistled lowly again, erecting goosebumps on whatever part of your skin happened to catch the midnight breeze. You fought the instinctual urge to twitch towards the nearest source of heat, which happened to be Aizen. Now that would be even more wholly inappropriate than the 'lovers meeting at midnight' scenario.

The silence between the both of you was brief, but comfortable nonetheless. Once more his mellifluous voice cut through the quiet, leveled and calm, like still ocean waters.

“Come. I want to show you something,” Aizen reached his arm out towards you, your spine as straight as if someone stuck a metal rod dipped in ice water down your robes.

The captain's movements seemed steady and slow━ it had felt like time itself had hesitated for several moments. You thought he was going to . . . . well you weren't sure what he was going to do, and that's what you made you nervous.

Was he going to touch you? Cradle your cheek? Remove a stray leaf that happened to land on your head? You were left somewhat dangling in anticipation, not daring to flinch backwards because you felt it would be disrespectful or offensive. You hadn't even blinked, subconsciously fearing that this was only a very vivid daydream.

But alas, when his arm drew near it extended past your head, slightly above you, and held a small branch in his palm it like a delicate flower. You released a breath you didn't know you were holding, but that breath drew short again when your gaze was eye level with his lower neck and chin.

He seemed . . . . closer.

“I think that regarding the condition of the Soul Society," Aizen began in a quiet voice, referencing his own reply to his earlier question, "and therefore my thoughts about it, is akin to this set of leaves on this branch."

Snapping out of whatever stupor you seemed to have slipped in, you exhaled softly before stepping back a bit to look at what he was talking about. In his palm he cradled a wayward branch that grew from one of the other sturdier branches of the tree. The green foliage of its arms had started to weaken and dull in color. The cold air due to the seasonal transition to autumn caused the leaves become brittle, nearing closer to the edge of death.

The sound of just how brittle they were resounded in the air when Aizen thumbed the leaves in between his fingertips, observing their texture with pity laced in his small movements.

"These leaves will fall off as it gets colder. And soon, the rest of this tree will be bare as well. When the time comes, when the right circumstances fall into place, the old die to make way and usher in the new; it's simply the way things are. I think of the Soul Society government is structured in a similar manner."

You hung onto his every word, like he were imparting crucial wisdom to you. Even though you were a bit confused on the last part, and on the connection between dying leaves and Soul Society, you still listened intently, waiting for him bridge the gap between the two.

"The Soul Society as it is now can be thought of as a season. And this particular season, this climate has remained so for several centuries. How can nature continue━ how can we continue to progress when the old have yet to be washed away by the currents of time? It defies that of nature, yes?" He directed this question at you specifically, in search of your agreement.

You nodded your head, tearing your gaze away from the branch and directed it at the grass beneath your feet. Your brows furrowed a little as you mused over Aizen's words. He gave a rather ambiguous answer before but now, his words sounded like vague displeasure and muted criticism. Everyone was entitled to their opinion, and on some fronts, you'd sometimes agreed with the 5th Division Captain. The Soul Society was far from perfect, too much emphasis on nobility and status, the government resembled too closely to an oligarchy . . . But you didn't━ wouldn't voice these thoughts, though.

Instead you hummed quietly under your breath. There was that tugging sensation again. This time it told you that there was something deeper to this conversation than meets the eye. But what could there be? Was there anything at all or were you just overthinking it?

The voice-like sensation in your soul was calling out to you, but you couldn't hear it that well or quite make out what it was saying. It's as if someone was calling out to you in a crowded room that had music playing on the speakers: you felt like if you listened hard enough you could make it out but ultimately, the result would fruitless.

"And when that happens," Aizen continued, "sometimes nature has to be gently nudged back on track to keep things moving smoothly. That may require . . . shaking the tree. Pulling a few harmful weeds from one's garden, so to speak."

"Weeds?" You echoed. You felt like you understood this analogy and therefore what he was trying to say, but at the same time you didn't. Or was it . . . . you didn't want to understand what he was implying?

Because if you were interpreting his words correctly, if he were inconspicuously comparing the higher-ups and the government itself to dying leaves and harmful plants that needed to be removed, then . . . .

"You, dear child, are a mere weed in this scenario."

Wait, what did he just━

Your thoughts were cut short when a gush of air that smelt strongly of Aizen━ warm oak, vanilla, and a kind of musk that you weren't sure how to describe but was still pleasant all the same━ brushed against your face and took you by surprise.

But there was another aroma that arose, steadily becoming more apparent alongside the increasingly painful throbbing feeling you felt in your abdomen.

It smelt metallic. And it was something that you've smelt all too many times before.

It was blood.

Your gaze that was initially narrowed in confusion lowered as it followed the source of this pain. Your eyes slowly widened in as you struggled to comprehend the blade that was currently ran through your torso.

Aizen's blade.

"Actually, instead of weeds, a more accurate and befitting analogy perhaps would be blades of grass. You unfortunately have to step on them in order to reach the weeds you want to remove."

You couldn't really focus on what the captain was saying, because your brain was still struggling to process what the hell just happened. Your hands slowly rose from their sides and shakily grazed the zanpakuto, wanting to believe that if you touched it, it would pass right through your fingers like mist. But no, the sensation of cold steel was as real as the robes you wore on your back. You only just now are processing the muffled squelching sound of his sword impaling your flesh.

You wanted to scream, to cry in pain, to vomit, to push him off━ something. But all you could do was stand there, stunned, words completely failing you. "Wh. . . . what? Why did . . . . you . . . . "

A cough replaced your attempt at a comprehensive sentence, and you tasted iron in your mouth.

Fuck....was this really happening?

"Please don't push yourself trying to talk," His voice was like an index finger to one's lips, similar to a parent's gentle caress to quiet and sooth their child, "You'll only hasten your death. And I'm sure you wish to know the reason for my killing you, yes? You'd have to be alive for that."

'Killing me?' 'My death?' The certainty that rang in his words chilled the blood in your veins, and they confirmed the one conclusion you hoped wouldn’t come true: that you were going to die.

The frigid embrace of fear and dread engulfed you from behind and you shivered, causing the blade snugly lodged in your organs to shift. The pain of that foreign object moving even a little bit shot through your entire body, causing a groan to emerge from your throat.

Desperate to conserve your energy and the oxygen that was becoming a little harder to take in, your breathing became uneven and a little wheezed. Even then, you couldn’t bring yourself to meet the gaze of Captain Aizen to confirm if this was really happening or just an extremely realistic and vivid nightmare. The sight you might be greeted with could be more frightening than the actual impaling of his sword.

As if his betrayal couldn’t actually or figuratively cut you any deeper, just then there was a noise that grew louder and louder within a matter of seconds until it was almost deafening. You’ve distinguished it to be the sound of glass crackling.

Your surroundings formed cracks everywhere on its surface, like it was just an oversized window. Even on the grass you stood on, or what you thought was grass, began to crumble away.

A dumbfounded but panicked look was plastered on your face when your world literally shattered around you, the only remnants of it being you and the Captain.

What was underneath the mirage━ or you should say, the fact that it was a mirage at all━ only disturbed you and increased your perplexity.

Slightly hunched over and breathing heavily, it took a minute to process where you were, but you noticed that now the two of you stood in a formal room that looked like it was used for important meetings. The lights in the room slowly started to brighten, most likely due to motion sensors. Even with Aizen's scent lingering in your nose, you could still pick out a rather stale aroma that hung in the air like dead fruit that hadn't fallen off the tree.

"Is . . . this Cen . . . tral━ "

"You are correct. Where we currently stand is the assembly hall for Central 46, the judicial power of the Soul Society. All judiciary as well as legislative trials and proceedings are held here."

All around the room were seats with partitions, the kanji for 1 through 46 printed on them. In the seat for the 19th member, your gaze caught onto something on the translucent barrier. It was a little farther up so you had to squint your already blurring vision to see it properly.

You saw, and your heart promptly sank as a result, eyes widening once more.

There were splatters of a dark colored substance on the partition━ undeniably blood. And the lithe, bony fingers of an older man laid lifeless, peeking out from the side of the screen like the appendages themselves were trying to escape from the body they were attached to.

That man . . . was dead. That stale aroma you smelt was the stench of death.

It was only after that unsettling epiphany did your eyes dart frantically around the room and realize that every member of Central 46 was dead.

The disturbed expression on your face only intensified as your stare was pulled back down to where Aizen's blade still resided in your body.

" Cap.....Aizen," you uttered, swift to correct yourself. All the moisture in your throat dried up like water underneath the unrelenting rays of the sun. You kept gulping your saliva in an attempt to assuage the sensation, but relief only last for a fleeting few seconds. "Did you ━ you killed them . . . didn't you?" Your question was laced with shaky hesitance and swelled with apprehension, fearing that you already knew his reply even before he answered.

There was a moment of silence and a hum before he replied. "Smart girl."

The muted mirthful tone in his voice sounded like sarcasm, and it was enough to finally draw your attention away from everything else and directly look at him. Almost instantly, you regretted it.

His umber tinted gaze was colder than you remembered. You couldn't find anything in his eyes that hinted that all of this was just a big misunderstanding, or a dream, or that Aizen had a secret sense dark and complex humor.

This was your first, and apparently your last time, that you have ever felt a fear such as this. Your mind was struggling to comprehend this was the same Aizen that spoke with you so gently, full of encouragement and wisdom. The same man that recommended you books to read and gifted you tea to drink and gazed upon you like . . .

Well, none of that mattered now. In this moment, Sōsuke Aizen wasn't the same man anymore. This Sōsuke Aizen was someone else, and it frightened you.

"When?" you croaked, your voice no longer sounding like your own. Nothing felt real anymore. "W-When did you . . . . . how? Why?"

Another noncommittal hum resounded from the spectacled man as he closed his eyes, feigning the action of thinking of an answer. When he reopened them, his narrow gaze returned to you.

"Everyone in the Thirteen Court Guard Squads was previously aware that the ability of my zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu, allowed me to confuse the enemy using bodies of water, mist and even moisture in the air in order to attack. However, that is not my zanpakuto's actual power; there is more to it than just simple confusion. Kyoka Suigetsu's true power is Complete Hypnosis. Essentially, when someone looks at my blade, I am then able to take control of that person’s five senses, causing them to believe that something is real ━ or that something isn't real. In a way, once glancing at my unsheathed zanpakuto, that person forfeits their sense of existence to me. Kyoka Suigetsu is quite flawless in its deceptive abilities."

A heavy silence, aside from your uneven breaths, endured in the space between both of you. You didn't need him to spell out what he was trying to say.

It was all . . . . an illusion. A convoluted, premeditated illusion. And you walked right into it without even knowing or considering, that it was all fake.

The Fifth Division Captain inwardly smiled at the despair clearly written on your face as he watched you mentally put the pieces together. He took your lack of reply as a sign to continue. "The members of Central 46 have unfortunately been dead for quite some time now. And as for your question of why......"

The taller man stepped towards you which inadvertently (or purposely, you began to fear), drove his sword deeper into your abdomen without warning and slight force. You bit down on your bottom lip hard to stifle your exclamation of pain. In an attempt to somehow resist him, with the little strength you had left, your hands automatically took purchase in his oversized sleeves, but it did nothing. You found it ironic that you could feel how warm Aizen was underneath his robes, but his soul was anything but.

" . . . . I believe I already mentioned it earlier, yes? All flowers die eventually and the weeds......must be removed."

At that moment you remembered that tugging sensation that told you something felt off in some instances whenever you talked with Aizen. This must have been what it was. Damn it all. You still didn't understand exactly what bad things Central 46 and the Soul Society have done to cause his actions, but based on what you've been told and your current position, it must have been heinous. Again, you actively swallowed the urge to vomit.

"You . . . you lied. I can't believe━ how could it have all b-been a lie?" Another nasty cough rattled your body, followed by a shiver and a groan.

The brown-haired man slightly tilted his head, like he was truly confused. "Lied? Hmm, well. I suppose you could put it that way based on your limited knowledge of the circumstances, but I wouldn't put it that way. Besides, this isn't really about truth or lies. It is, and always has been, only about the reality of what is. And what is, is that you were unable to anticipate my deception. No one could, because it was outside the domain of your thoughts. What is, is that the current way the Soul Society operates is tainted, and I shall be the one to remedy it."

You drew another shuddering breath and looked down at the ground with a grim expression as your blood continued to pool at your feet. Briefly, you even considered unsheathing yourself from his blade and take the chance to make a run for it, but the chances of you making it to the outside world, let alone coming across someone before you bled out and died were slim. Besides, it was clear that you couldn't even trust your own senses anymore after Aizen demonstrated that he had complete control of your reality.

Which reminded you of something else.

" . . . when?" you asked the same question again, but much quieter than before, despair palpable in your voice. 'When and how did you subject me to your zanpakuto's Complete Hypnosis?', is what you were really asking. And being as intelligent as he was, the spectacled man understood.

Abruptly, with a large palm on the small of your back, Aizen used his gentle hold grip to pull you towards him in order to close the remaining distance, causing him to drive the remaining length of his zanpakuto all the way through until the tsuba of his blade rested against your stomach. You looked like a skewered piece of meat.

You didn't have the willpower to hold back the piercing shriek of agony and physical anguish as tears sprung forth from your eyes. You could no longer tell if your blurry vision was due to your tears obstructing your sight or if it was from being a step away from death's door.

"Do you remember . . . the first time we met?"

The hand that rested on your lower back slowly glided upwards until his fingers found your jaw. With a tenderness that reminded you of a time before his betrayal, he lifted your chin and guided your gaze to look at him directly. His thumb moved to graze your bottom lip just as you've done mere hours ago━ as if he knew that, as if he watched you do it. His thumb was dangerously close to slipping inside your mouth and that both excited and scared you. Your breasts against his, your breaths synchronized with his, your body and his were fully pressed against each other and it made focusing on his question more difficult.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The first time . . . we met? Sure, with a little bit of effort you could easily recall the first time you formally met Aizen. It was sometime in the spring, and you remembered him running through combat formations with his lieutenant and the rest of his squad. But why d━

A silent gasp left you. Another epiphany, another figurative blade piercing your heart.

Battle formations, and he . . . offered you to join them . . . his zanpakuto . . . . .

Confusion crumbled away, and was replaced with vacant horror and sadness. It seems you've already been defeated, for many, many years now.

Aizen seemed to murmur something under his breath, a pleased sound you couldn't quite decipher. His mouth brushed over yours, rendering you literally speechless, before he closed the distance and brought your lips together. You could barely process what was happening.

It was ironically tragic how soft and skillfully gentle his lips were against yours. The kiss felt longing, like a departure between two sweethearts and their last meeting together. It also felt heavy and final, making you want to cry.

And you did. Silent tears streamed from your eyes and rolled onto the fingers that still held your face so affectionately. The captain reacted by guiding your chin up a little further, dipping his head a little lower, so he could deepen the kiss. You weakly scorned yourself for thinking about how the two of you must really look like lovers now, sans the sword sticking out from your back.

Oh, how cruel this was; how cruel he was. It was cruel for him to kiss you like this, hand still splayed on your back like he needed to touch you stay sane. And how cruel it was that still managed to enjoy it, even as you stood there dying. Your lips moved together in tandem, slow and almost passionate, all while tears stained the apples of your cheeks, drying up the plush youth that once resided in them.

Aizen's tongue had slithered its way into your mouth, and you suddenly felt like crying harder. There was a tart, sweet flavor lingering on his tastebuds, and you absently wondered what is was. Perhaps hibiscus from tea, you surmised. And he too tasted the sweet jasmine and citrus that clung your tongue and lips. At this, he chuckled quietly into your mouth, humming before retracting from you by a few inches so he could speak.

"I knew you would like the tea. It's sweet and flavorful, isn't it?" You hated how low his voice was, how its timbre pleasurably vibrated and rumbled against your lips, and you hated that lidded stare he gave you. You again thought it unfair that you couldn't even revel in the rare sight of Aizen's lips slightly wet because your lips were intertwined with his.

"I have to thank you for humoring me and my recommendations. I really appreciated it. And I also," you winced loudly and cried out in affliction as Aizen finally began to withdraw the sword from your body, "must to bid you farewell now. It seems you don't have any more time left, and this has dragged on for longer than it needed. I'm not surprised you've held out for this long, as I already knew you possessed commendable strength. But alas it wasn't enough. I am sorry that you have to die; it's rather regrettable that you happened to be that blade of grass that ended up underneath my foot."

Another wail was yanked from your chest as he steadily removed his sword from your abdomen. The pain was becoming excruciating, you would have collapsed by now if the taller man weren't holding you.

You saw two things before the light in your eyes had all but faded away. The first were the colors of faux pity and apathy that swirled in Sōsuke Aizen's irises, spiraling like a storm that was certain to wreak havoc in its wake. His gaze was devoid of any regret or remorse; the final metaphorical nail on the coffin. The second was a small smile.

But this wasn't one of his smiles you were familiar with. No wait . . . . the one you knew was simply a veneer of what is.

This smile was slanted, the corners of his lips tilted upwards and was sharp. Sharp enough to cut open your already gaping wound further and completely tear you apart, spelling out your demise. It looked insidious as if it were hiding razor-edged fangs. This was what is; Aizen's real smile.

"I. . . I see. Aize. . . ." were the last words you were able to manage. You didn't have the strength to be upset or hurt any longer, so you gave in to the exhaustion.

Your body permanently relaxed, long lashes veiling your now empty eyes as your arms lifelessly dropped to your sides. The captain found a disturbing amount of pleasure in his name being the final word you attempted to speak before succumbing to the sleep of death.

And even after the fact, the facade of doomed, star-crossed lovers persisted as your body slumped backwards. Aizen's strong forearm wrapped tightly around your waist being the only reason you didn't fall to the ground in a puddle of your own blood.

That day was the last anyone saw of you, your zanpakuto still laid idly in your room, its spirit destined to forever wander in the afterlife between worlds alone, eventually fading from existence without ever feeling the presence of its master again.

They had declared you missing by the end of the next day. Lieutenant Hisagi was probably the most perturbed about your sudden disappearance. Days, weeks passed, and they never located you. The Gotei 13 was left unsettled by the lack of progress, but ultimately had to rule your case inconclusive. Some believed that you were simply killed by a stray hollow, or even ran away from your duties because of the stress.

The news of what happened spread like wildfire across all the squads, that a high-ranked officer just up and vanished without a trace. The spirits and morale of the thirteen companies dampened, sorrow and worry swelling like a festering boil.

And that boil burst when Ryoka infiltrated the Soul Society, and when it was revealed that all of it was carefully orchestrated by Sōsuke Aizen.

Like a blade of grass that somehow snuck into one's sandals or in between their toes, during his time in Hueco Mundo, images of you flashed in his head at unexpected times when his mind was quiet. He'd remove the grass, tossed you aside, and moved on with his day. There was no room for you in the grand scheme of things. Such reminisces were beneath someone like him.

And yet.

He'd always find another piece of grass from the greenery he stepped on whenever he advanced a step in his plans. There you were again.

It was common knowledge that if you kept repeating the same action over and over, it will eventually wear you down.

━━━━━━ 鏡 ━━━━━━━

It was dark, and there was nothing.

There had been nothing for quite a long time now. Utter darkness and the abyssal shade of black engulfed every inch of Aizen's body and surroundings.

He saw nothing, the seals over his eyes too opaque to let anything through. And even if they weren't obscuring his vision, he would barely be able to see three feet in front of him; there was seldom a few lanterns in his cell to begin with. He felt nothing but the bindings that kept him imprisoned in one of the deepest pits of the Seireitei. At times it felt like even his internal organs had stilled in their functions. He heard nothing but the unrelenting quiet of his cell within Mugen's maw. The only thing that served as proof that he hasn't spontaneously grown deaf yet was the occasional muffled noise that originated from outside of the entrance. And even then, he could hardly hear much of anything.

Such is an ironic fate for someone who, with a stray thought and a glint of his blade, could control someone's senses and take away their free will to experience those senses in their reality. And now, he was stripped away of all of his in nearly every capacity.

Sōsuke Aizen was rendered stationary and stagnant, qualities he detested and were the antithesis of his ambitions and plans, perhaps even his existence.

Aizen had always believed in being in control of your own destiny and making your own choices; if you had the opportunity and the power to change something━ especially if it was something that was wrong, unfair or immoral━ then one should be able to move towards that goal by making change, even if by force. The former captain had always been intentional about his actions and his desires right from the start.

And yet, here he ended up.

Spending years strapped to a chair in this dark, cloistered hole, Aizen had nothing but time to reflect the reason for his arrest: that orange haired Ryoka boy, Ichigo Kurosaki. He had nothing but time to admit to himself and settle on the conclusion that his last battle with the substitute Shinigami . . . did something to him.

Fighting the Ryoka boy ignited something inside him that he previously believed would forever lay dormant.

The thrill of a challenge.

Adrenaline was injected into his veins with each clash of their swords, spreading far and wide across every inch of his body. It no longer reacted in the measured, calculative manner he had programmed it to, but with unadulterated, pure instinct and raw power━ all in an effort to not only withstand such potent spirit energy from his opponent, but to come out on top and win.

It made him feel alive.

Aizen's desire to be the victor in battle and in his philosophy━ to prove himself right━ both fueled him and consumed him so thoroughly it led to his own downfall. That was a rather difficult fact to acknowledge; so much so his head started to pulsate intensely whenever it crossed his mind one time too often.

All of it unfolded right in front of his eyes and yet . . . he didn't really see it happen.

As time passed during his perpetual incarceration, with hooded eyes, the former captain spent an unfathomable amount of time tossing and turning every single event that led him to this underground prison, even pondering his temporary release by the Head Captain Kyōraku to fight in the war. Scenarios both minor and significant displayed itself in front of his mind's eye as if he were watching a film.

Every so often, a blurred visage of your image would make a brief appearance, like the flickering sparks of a match before they were able to come to light, fading away into the void and were overshadowed by his other thoughts. It was as if his own consciousness and intentionally muted any manifestations of your existence in his memories. As if he wasn't able to or allowed to see them━ to remember you for too long.

Mentally reliving moments from the last several months, years, decades, centuries━ trying to analyze each moment and decipher where it could have went wrong━ turned out to be quite an exhausting task. His mind and body would grow heavier with inertia, and eventually he would succumb to the alluring pull of slumber. After some time he would rouse from his sleep, and continued from where he left off.

These were his daily activities day in and day out (even though he had trouble distinguishing day and night in his chambers) for years. He saw a positive side to it though. He'd instead think of it has him getting stronger because he had spent so long . . . thinking. Ruminating. Contemplating every possibility in the past, present, and future. His mind would become as sharp as his zanpakuto.

Aizen had always been intentional about what he did, what he said, and how he conducted himself. He was sure in his abilities to orchestrate an image━ a belief for others to have faith in, and act on it in order to further his goals. He was always sure in that image, knowing who he was and what he stood for.

Or at least, that's what he thought.

Aizen wasn't consciously aware that his certainty in this crafted image had already begun to waver. He could not and was unable to anticipate how severe these small fractures had become until after a certain lieutenant paid him a visit outside his cell of confinement, right before he was scheduled to be thrown back into that dark hole of the Mugen.

Lieutenant Shuhei Hisagi was quite emotive when he burst through the doors. His expressions were contorted in volatile mixture of frustration, anger and sadness. His emotions were every which way, directed at everything that has happened so far, including himself. He was especially emotive at Aizen specifically for what he did to former captain Kaname Tosen and 'corrupting him with his twisted ideals.'

Aizen found amusement in that.

Before he was rolled away by the punishment force and therefore out of earshot, a particular set of Hisagi's words caused the small, content smile on his lips to uncurl ever so slightly. "Everything . . . and everyone that has ever gotten themselves involved with you has been trampled on by you and your ideals one way or another, and they all end up dead. If you think what you did to Captain Tosen was justified━ to call it mercy . . . . . then there is truly no justice in this world. You will . . . forever be the enemy in my eyes."

There was a trembling anger in his voice. Pain that wanted to cry out and be set free but, the thin lid of reason prevented it from doing so. And after a moment of silence, the corners of Aizen's lips curved upwards once more. A little bemused, a little more wolfish this time. He maliciously imagined Hisagi's reaction if he ever discovered the true reason for your disappearance.

But instead, all he said was. "What an interesting thing to say, Shuhei Hisagi. Your conviction is admirable." Any evidence of emotion that might have been reflected in his sepia irises was swallowed up and obscured by the darkness of the Mugen's jaw.

The cracks in Aizen's sense of self, in his beliefs, in the image he invented started to cave under the weight of Hisagi's words before he himself realized it was happening. They were like stains in the fabric of his mind that refused to come out.

What puzzled him more, was that with each attempt to figure out just why Hisagi's words echoed in his mind, they all lead back to you, the third seat of the 9th squad. Annoyingly so.

The tattooed lieutenant hadn’t said anything particularly profound ━ at least, Aizen didn't think so. Your name didn’t even fall from his lips. So why were memories of you and your likeness the only clear thoughts he could make of Hisagi's speech? Was it because he was aware of how close the two of you were? He doubted the reason were that trivial and insignificant.

His thoughts grew more discordant by the day, his soul a little more weighted than usual. Perhaps these new seals that Urahara had fashioned actually had an effect on him, Aizen thought. It made sense. His intellect, other than his own, were the only ones capable of creating such effective restraints.

After a while, he had a revelation. This was a different kind of weight.

This heaviness, the closest word he knew to describe it as . . . . was loneliness.

Time taunted him as it seemed to drag on━ Aizen grew even less sure of how much━ when he came to this realization. Hisagi's words were a clear mirror to the loneliness that echoed within him after what happened to you and to Tosen. It was so . . . potent, that it seemed to strike some chord in Aizen he had never heard before.

Such a chord, this sound of loneliness, it was strange and uncomfortable; he wasn't very fond of this sensation. He'd try to scrub it away, but it was all for naught.

His eyes had slid shut at some point, his ruminations leading to dead ends and wearing him down. And, almost as expected, there you were again, in all your translucent glory. The hem, the sleeves, and even the smell of your yukata slowly dragged across his dreams, haunting his thoughts like a lonely wraith.

And Aizen hardly dreamt of anything.

When he regained consciousness he was plagued with yet another epiphany. An additional reason behind this newfound depth.

Aizen's own loneliness. Guilt. Much to his own quiet horror.

How foreign and unusual a thing like guilt is. It was like looking into a mirror and not recognizing something you had never noticed before, but wondered if it had always been there.

But the thing Aizen did recognize, how lonely he actually felt, was something he had hoped would never resurface again. It was a notion he hadn't had the time or regard to consider━ 'loneliness'. Its only purpose, if any, was solely to serve as a motivator. At times though, it was more like a hindrance.

Something akin to nausea slowly started to bubble up in the pit of his stomach, but he suppressed the sensation before it became any more intense.

What of his previous actions did he need to feel guilty for? He hadn't felt it then, so why would he feel it now? Again he ruminated such a question endlessly into oblivion.

The former captain had no doubts that his plan to remove the Soul King, and therefore the Soul Society's sins, were necessary.

Nor did any hesitancy about removing the opposition or dead weight━ whether shinigami or arrancar━ existed.

He certainly had no reservations against killing Kaname Tosen, for he knew the man well enough to know that Tosen would have been so thoroughly appalled with what he had become, it would have drove him mad.

So what was it, then? Why were such useless emotions as guilt and loneliness being amplified n━

"Y....know, S....."

Even covered by the seals, Aizen's eyes widened and his brows were slightly furrowed in distress. Had his mind finally tipped the scales of sanity and madness, to the point where he was hearing things?

It was quiet for several moments longer, before his senses caught onto the sound of water dripping onto a hard surface.

One drop at a time.

Its cadence a little too rhythmic to be natural. And for a second time, he heard that soft, ominous sounding whisper. Its voice a little clearer this time.

"You...know.....Sōsuke."

In the second it took for his eyes to flutter shut behind its seals to blink, when he reopened them, he was no longer sealed to the walls and floors of the Mugen, nor was he surrounded by every shade of darkness imaginable. His limbs and senses were finally freed to breathe for the first time in what felt like ages.

That relief was short-lived when his senses absorbed the unending landscape of water underneath his feet, water lilies lifelessly floating on its surface, and the dim sky illuminated by a full pale moon.

Aizen was in his inner world, and now he was aware of how he got here, or rather who brought him here.

"You . . . already know the answer to that question, Sōsuke." The voice was even more clear, its sentences more comprehensible. And it sounded it eerily like you.

Why the voice was impersonating your likeness had caught him off guard for half a second, but he realized it was only the work of his zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu.

An illusion it may be, there was an untouchable quality about your voice and how you spoke that even Kyoka Suigetsu couldn't replicate.

A few feet away from him, the water was disturbed by a being emerging from the depths. Ripples formed around a manifested version of his zanpakuto, who took the form of you, smiling ever so gently. The smile felt airy, and it didn't seem like the same one that haunted his dreams and every waking thought as of late. It felt....knowing.

Still, the former captain couldn't be bothered to maintain eye contact with his sword spirit, so he turned around and opted to keep his unreadable stare trained on the vast expanse of water and white lilies.

"It's been quite a while since I have stepped foot into this realm. There must be something you want . . . Kyoka."

The zanpakuto chuckled, it sounded like the way you would softly laugh at one of his clever quips. But this wasn't you.

He didn’t want to admit that something about that fact didn’t sit right with him.

"Judging from your tone, would I be correct in assuming you don't want to be here?"

Silence rang out within the soul scape, before Aizen interrupted it, his gentle voice colored a shade darker, and a little rigid. "And I fail to see the reason why you must take that form when you revealed yourself to me. Is your aim to get a reaction out of me? Or something along those lines?"

Your eyes━ the eyes of Kyoka Suigetsu━ narrowed at its master's back, as if they were trying to create concavities in his skull. But the expression was washed away the moment it appeared, the serene smile from before was back in place.

"You know . . . it's considered quite rude to not look at someone when you're addressing them. That, and when you deliberately ignore things they say. Your manners have been deteriorating, Sōsuke. Tsk, tsk."

Kyoka-dressed-as-you suddenly appeared before him, as if they had teleported. Even when they were in his peripheral vision, Aizen still maintained his stare off into the distant nothingness.

"Unless, you can't find it in yourself to look at me. . . that's correct, isn't it? It's because I look exactly like her, right?" The zanpakuto continued to provoke him, taking a step closer into his personal space.

With an exasperated sigh, his eyelids fell shut for a second, using that time to gather the strength he didn't know he needed, and directed his gaze to meet his spirit's. Aizen's face gave nothing away, but his heart lurched about his chest when his bronze eyes met with yours, or what was made to look like yours. The undesired affect it had on him was all the same.

"If you wish to chastise me about manners, I suggest you take your own advice. You didn't answer my first question, either: what is it you want? Why am I here?" Again the former captain chose to not address the other parts of Kyoka's statement. For the sake of his sanity and his thinning patience━ or was it to preserve his resolve?

Its smile widened a bit, moving another step closer to their master. God, Kyoka even smelled like you, mimicking your signature honeyed scent that Aizen didn't realize he found so intoxicating until this very moment.

"I called you here to save you from yourself."

Aizen remained silent, only narrowing his eyes in speculation. "Meaning?"

"Didn't I already say it earlier? I think you already know what I'm talking about, Sōsuke. You've always known."

Fate's pairing of Kyoka Suigetsu with Aizen was a match crafted from the spindles of heaven, but also a maddening curse pulled from the depths of hell, for they complimented each other a little too well. The zanpakuto was too perfect a reflection of Aizen and his soul, looking at it started to hurt his eyes.

His sword spirit insisted that he already knew the reason for his coming here, and perhaps he did have an inkling the moment the light of epiphany was shone on his profound loneliness and guilt. But that couldn't have been what it was referring to . . . . could it?

"You cannot feign ignorance here, my dear Sōsuke, however I do find it rather humorous you bother trying. If you'd like, I don't mind humoring you by spelling it out for you. I'd be glad to unearth the truth that you have buried in the most neglected corner of your heart."

"When you were . . . . subjecting yourself to such mental torment, it had an affect on this world as well. The ripples, the waves in this scape become quite . . . tumultuous." The nuances in your voice were perfected by his zanpakuto, but the way it talked sounded like a fog that was gradually closing in from over the horizon. The uneasy feeling that resided in his chest traveled down to his stomach, but Aizen's face remained steely, even when Kyoka Suigetsu took that final step to close the gap in between them. "And the reason for that, the reason why Hisagi's words rattled you so is because you regret killing that woman."

The creased line in Aizen's brow grew more prominent as he stared down his sentient sword spirit. With its breast pressed against his, they placed a hand on his clothed chest in a tantalizing manner, but he felt nothing. There was no warmth from its palm, much unlike when your hand touched him. There wasn't even a cool sensation either. Even minutes before your death, your touch brought a soothing heat that permeated through his shihakusho and penetrated his skin.

Kyoka's face grew nearer, their smile━ although still tender looking━ grew cold at its edges, nearly resembling that of a predator eager to see despair reflected in the eyes of its prey. It didn't fit the graceful allure of your face at all, and seeing this expression deeply unsettled the former captain more than he would like to admit.

"You regret . . . killing me."

A chill tore through Aizen's body, the weight of Kyoka's words adding onto the heaviness that still hasn't been alleviated from his heart; he was hardly able to suppress the involuntary shiver.

Without warning, Kyoka's mouth suddenly became dangerously close to their master's, its lips brushing against his in a provocative manner. Aizen's expression darkened when he realized that it was reenacting his last encounter with you when you were alive. His mouth started to grow uncomfortably dry, despite his soul scape being full of moisture, and there was a taste on the back of his tongue that's been lingering there since he arrived.

The lilt in Kyoka's tone continued to taunt him. "That is the reason for your guilt: regret. You have been in denial. And in the spirit of unearthing truths, I suppose I can admit that perhaps . . . . I've been . . . . encouraging said delusions, adding drops of fuel into the flames of your emotions and ambitions. But after all that's happened, when it comes down to it there's no point in continuing this hallucination any longer. I've grown tired of this game, so it's time to for you wake up now, Sōsuke. I've brought you here to release you from your own illusion, to completely shatter it."

Aizen's back was as stiff as a board, not moving a millimeter when Kyoka's lips grazed his again. They were breathing softly onto his mouth, but he hardly felt any puffs of air.

The former captain was having a rather difficult time processing the fact that his zanpakuto had its own agenda and had been manipulating his emotions without him noticing. Specifically the emotions he felt towards you.

He never truly believed that such a thing was possible, one's own blade having such a deep-rooted influence━ no, control over their master. Or would it be more accurate to say that he never expected himself to be controlled to such a degree? He that prided himself on being freed from the marionette strings of fate that were tied to his limbs and mind, he that relished being able to do what he wanted, think what he wanted, feel what he wanted━ or what he didn't want━ it was hard to believe that none of that mattered in the end.

Kyoka Suigetsu's deceptive abilities were indeed undeniably perfect. No one, not even Aizen himself could have anticipated that Kyoka's most absolute and complete hypnosis would be enacted on himself.

"Do you know now, Sōsuke? Do you understand?" Kyoka's voice was as soft as a whisper, but it couldn't hide the edges of its tone that were still sharpened from finding amusement of seeing the truth flash across its master's face. "You had destroyed the solution to your existential question of loneliness, before you could fully understand the question itself."

Yes . . . . . Aizen understood now.

He didn't bother acknowledging what Kyoka had said. His grim facial expression━ still, tinged with dolor, and paired with an indescribable, distant look his eyes━ said all that it needed to. His silence was as much as an admission as any.

Kyoka-dressed-as-you leaned forward again to fully close the gap between their lips and Aizen's. Tenderly, like the intentions of a lover, it spoke against his nearly closed mouth. "Have you figured it out yet?"

Nothing but quiet could be heard between them, as Kyoka's mouth moved about their master's face and placed something like kisses upon its surface, but not quite.

Aizen's cocoa-shaded eyes slide down to stare at his sword spirit pressed up against him. His gaze was hard, and yet something swam underneath its surface that his zanpakuto had never seen before. Melancholy, it guessed? They weren't quite sure.

Kyoka pressed on when Aizen remained quiet. "The taste in the back of your mouth. Have you figured out what it was? You know it quite well....."

Aizen's tongue grazed the roof of his mouth, sensing the rather unpleasant taste that has coated the inside of it. And within a moment, because he was faced with the current circumstances, Aizen had finally placed a name associated this particular taste. How unfortunate this was.

Upon his realization, Aizen's head lowered, and his brown tresses hung freely over his lashes. Perhaps it was so Kyoka couldn't properly see whatever remorseful expression painted their master's face, but it mattered not. Even from here, the sword spirit could already sense exactly what it was he was feeling.

And they loved it.

"It's a sweet and flavorful taste, isn't it? Quite lovely." Kyoka Suigetsu mimicked the exact words he uttered against your lips all those years ago when he tasted jasmine tea on your tongue, and sealed your death with a kiss. "It's too bad you don't seem to enjoy it anymore."

Aizen's chest continued to rise and fall calmly, and the hands of his sword spirit that rested there glided upwards to cup his strong jaw, caressing his skin with its thumb. Its phantasmic touch did nothing to stir their master.

"Sōsuke, do you know what the jasmine flower from that tea symbolizes?"

Aizen's lips were slightly parted, but again he didn't say anything. Instead, its corners twitched and lifted upwards by an inch, and he huffed softly.

Kyoka Suigetsu grinned in reply. "Good."

The next time Aizen blinked, he was plunged in darkness yet again. The restrictive feeling that swallowed his being whole had returned, and was an indicator that his zanpakuto had released him from his inner world. He was consciously back in the Mugen, back in this abyss they called a prison cell.

Kyoka was indeed as much as a formidable force in its own right, as much as, if not greater than Aizen himself.

The conversation he had with his sword spirit would be cemented in his head for all eternity. When he grew senile and began to physically wither away, the one thing that would remain vital like a young heart, was this epiphany that he had. This realization that he actually . . . .

As the chains of despair bound him tighter to the bottom of the metaphorical pit, regret and his loneliness corroding his flesh and spirit like metal exposed to moisture, a stray memory of his time in Hueco Mundo flashed in his mind. He recalled having tea prepared for meetings with his Espadas and he could not pinpoint when, but at some point, Aizen developed an aversion for jasmine flavored tea. For one reason or another, he no longer found its taste appealing; whenever he drank it, it always tasted bitter.

Now that reason had become painstakingly clear.

The binding on his mouth muffled a rueful chuckle at the though, and it trapped the flavor of jasmine on his lips.

(#) @soaringmirror @stygianoir @ryukenzz @blkjupiters @chrissie2003 @nymphoheretic @dejwrld @triangularz @souyaszn @kuujo @honeybleed @valentineluvu . let me know if you’d like to be apart of my tag list ♡♡.

639 notes · View notes

tooscaredtopostonmainrip · 1 month ago

Note

Hi bbg can u write a reverse comfort with Lilia and Ruggie (comforting lilia + ruggie ) where they think the reader does NOT like them back because they’re always seen with another person so They confront them and turns out they like each other !! Basically it’s overall fluff + angst !!

a/n: MY FAVOURITE READER HAS ARRIVED ,.,,,,,, i MAY be biased. ANYWAYYYY HERE U GO ALSO IM SO SO SO SORRY I GOT WRITER'S BLOCK. IM EMBARRASSED OF MYSELF SORRRYRYRYYR --- ALSO ... I TWEAKED IT A LITTLE BIT TO FIT THE WAY I'D THINK IT WOULD GO, SO SORRY IF ITS NOT TO UR LIKING

CW; BOOK 7 SPOILERS IN LILIA'S PART (if you dont want to read it, skip the first and second paragraph!!!)

🦇 LILIA VANROUGE

Lilia never really had time for romance. Between the war and the constant paranoia of being on the receiving end of an ambush, he never let himself lower his walls - to truly form an intimate bond with somebody that wasn't immediate family.

Infact, during the war, falling in love was one of the worst things that could happen: It meant having an open weakness. And if that person never came back, you wouldn't have time to wallow in despair since they'd immediately call you next to the front lines. It was one of the worst things to happen to somebody, and Lilia, therefore, found no interest in bonding in such a way. It would be truly unwise, especially since he had to lead an army. He'd have to split his attention between the army and the partner of choice, and he wasn't gonna add to his workload just for fun.

Now, it's all different. Times have changed, and instead of worrying about whether you'll survive the day tomorrow and what you will eat, you worry if your homework is due today or tomorrow at midnight, and if the test's results are gonna be coming back soon. Yes, almost everything has changed, but Lilia never really let his past ways go. Old habits die hard, as they say. (Especially after Meleanor and Levan...)

Well, they did until he met you. Sure, it wasn't love at first sight - more like, interest at first sight. But with time, he truly did feel as though you were an old friend. With time, he started letting his walls down and truly enjoy life with somebody beside him.

Now, he knew of your little crush on him. Why? Well, it was quite obvious. The way you'd fidget when you were around him, or how your eyes seemed to shine when you saw him loitering around in your peripherals. Yes, it was quite obvious. But on the other side, his own affection was, on your end, left unnoticed. It was fun to flawlessly conceal his own beating heart and the blinding grin he'd let out whenever you gave him a compliment - while also, at the same time, giving you mixed signals. He'd have no hand in you later realizing he was a lot more buddy-buddy with blurred boundaries with you than others, even though he denied all allegations. The game of cat and mouse was just too amusing, and he wanted to keep it going for as long as he could.

Everything you did drew him in, and your sweetness left him wanting for more. In his old age, he didn't feel like he should indulge in this, but your honeyed smile and warm embrace held a tight grip on his heart, and so he relented. The heart wants what it wants, he'd say.

Well, for as long as he could, that's true. He knew it would have to end someday, but it would've been better on his own accord. Well, he'd muse. Guess the fun has to finish one day. And today's the day, as much as he may loathe it, somewhat.

Recently, you've been hanging out with someone. He didn't even bother remembering their name, as they were so unimportant he just didn't feel like even putting the minimal effort to put an identity to that face. He didn't want to be petty, but when the person's "hanging out" times bled into his own alone time with you, that truly did the trick. Behind a toothy smile hid a thin-veiled annoyance that stuck to him like tar and ink. It made his nose twitch in annoyance, but he quickly smoothed it all over and kept his composure. He'd let the person have their fun with you for a while, but if they overstepped they'd be done for.

But at the same time, he'd started doubting himself. If he were his past self, he'd be absolutely scandalized that he'd let himself stoop so low as to not trust his own instinct, and he was sure that you were still somewhat interested in him, but the way you kept spending time with that person, and the way you'd immediately stop everything and help them, and the way you'd share laughs with them almost like you did with him... It was getting increasingly harder to keep his calm. (he's in denial, he was never calm.)

Next course of action? Talk to you. For the first time in a while - he'd open up to you, and tell you what he truly felt. He didn't want to be the one to talk about this, but since the problem wasn't going away, he'd have to take drastic measures. At the time he was sure you did like him back, but now it was all up in the air due to that uninvited variable. Maybe he was still sour about the game you were playing with him having an early end. (No, he's sour about someone trying to steal you away. But he knew that very well.)

And that leads to... Right now. The wind seemed to be trying to soothe him, but his thoughts were entirely elsewhere. On another dimension, where he thought about the way you talked to him and the way you always seemed joyous with him. But... Maybe he read it wrong? He scoffed at his own insecurity, but in a silent, small part of his mind... He'd still think about it. No one can grow if they don't admit they're wrong once in a while, yeah? Even though he thought he did all the growth he needed in his youth. Guess there's always room for improvement.

His bat refined hearing immediately picked up on you jogging over to him, and he quickly went back to his bright persona, but unlike with others, it was a little more relaxed. Dare I say, more real.

Your beaming smile, and your soft demeanor made him feel a little less on edge, and he thought that maybe, it'd be alright. That you truly did see something in him. He loathed being so vulnerable, but this wasn't a war zone. You wouldn't mercilessly use him and his feelings, you weren't the kind of person to do that. So, he waited for you.

On your end, you were excited to see Lilia. With all the hanging around you did with your new lab partner you'd been randomly paired with, you hadn't had time to give him the attention you desperately wanted to give him. He wasn't used to you not spending every bit of your day with him, you'd joke to yourself. Maybe he will demand an explanation, with a dramatic flair, of course. He'd always had a penchant for the theatrics.

But the moment you stepped in front of him, you noticed... something, in his expression. Now, everyone who'd hear you say that would side eye you because, on what basis are you saying that? Well... The vibe was off. He wasn't as cheerful as usual, and with how long you've been talking with him, you knew a few of his tells. All of this, on what basis? Well, on a best friend basis, of course. Even though, you'd prefer a title more intimate... But that's something that no one will catch you dead saying.

"My dear bestie!" And thus, his theatrics ensued. You cringed a bit at his use of modern slang, but it was endearing nonetheless.

You chuckled a bit but still greeted him with a quick "Hi Lilia!", afterwards - addressing the elephant in the room. "What's up? Any news?" You inquired.

His grin beamed, and he played up his tone of voice, making it a bit exxagerated. "Oh there is something up!" You definitely agreed with him. Something was up. And it was something wrong.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"You left me alone for oh so long! You'd do that to a cutie like me?" Why was he being so weird?

You were a bit put off by him acting so weird. "Lilia, what's really up? Please tell me."

His face soured, and the thin curtains opened for a second. You saw how he was internally berating himself for something, and how he was truly annoyed. It was a mix and match of emotions that you didn't quite get, so you waited for Lilia to explain himself when he'd be comfortable doing so. The curtains closed, and his eyes kept boring holes into you.

"What do you mean? I'm perfectly okay!"

You bit your lip, and tilted your head slightly. "Come on, what's up?" You squinted your eyes, and he decided that enough was enough, no more games.

"Do you like your new friend?"

The question shocked you, but you didn't let it show. Looking at his face... It didn't seem like he was joking... What was the best course of action? You didnt know, but you decided to stall the conversation to understand what was going on.

Your question was probably futile, but you tried anyway. "As a friend?"

"You know what I meant."

You glanced around, and feeling a bit embarrassed you tried to reason with him. "Come on Lilia, I-" The cutoff was quick, and he immediately asked the question again.

"Do you?"

He wouldn't let it go if you didn't tell him the truth. And so, with a bit of red dusted on your cheeks, you answered his query.

"No, I don't."

The silence was overbearing, and the way Lilia studied you made you want to hide in a hole and forget all of this. But you soldiered on, keeping a brave face and waiting for his move.

His eyes seemed to light up after a while, and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Why so tense?" His light chuckles helped to alleviate the tension in the air, but you still thought that maybe... It was time to pop the question.

Lilia would've never, ever seen that coming. "Now why would I answer that first? You first-"

"Do you like me?"

And with renewed courage, you answered.

"I do."

His shock shined through, and he dropped all notions of dancing around the topic. His jaw was almost ajar, and he looked at you like a newborn hearing the sounds of nature for the first time.

Then, his grin came back at full force. But this version... It was sweeter. Like a childhood blanket enveloping you. Or your favorite candy from your childhood.

"I love you too."

And with that, he held your hand and smiled at you, the best smile you'd ever seen. He didn't need to know who was near you all the time, because he knew your heart belonged to him. And so did his, to you.

BONUS

("I knew it! Never shall I doubt my instincts again!"

"Uh oh... Your ego grew 10x in size."

"You say that, but you're still here!"

"Yeah, I am <3" )

🦇

Being from the slums isn't for the weak hearted, to put it lightly. Falling in love was a luxury few could afford - while sharing meals with somebody and having more manpower sounded cool and all, you're never truly sure if the other will one day just up and go with all the stuff you've gathered. Ruggie never wanted to gamble when it came to his belongings, so he didn't take the risk during those times. When he came to Night Raven College, he still found no reason to fall in love, it wasn't like people would really lower their walls easily, and he didn't feel like putting all the effort in doing just that. Plus, everyone was all so slimy, and to love you'd have to also lower your own walls - no doubt they'd take advantage of him. Overall, not an advantageous position, so no way.

🐆 RUGGIE

That's what he used to think. You... changed his view, somewhat. Of course, he didn't fall immediately like some fairytale. Unlearning all his instincts would be a death wish, and that would've been an insult to every hyena and beastman that was from the streets - he just had a bit of interest. He knew the stakes, so he didn't try his luck too much.

You showed him kindness, a warmth that was rarely, if ever, genuine. You weren't a happy go lucky like those snobs from Royal Sword Academy, but you weren't exactly gloomy either. You were, different. You showed him a world he'd never dreamt of seeing, and you were way too in the role to be lying to him. Still, being cautious was never a wrong move.

To be honest, his first thoughts were to just use your kindness. He, at the time, held no hard feelings about taking advantage of you. Lets be real, he never expected someone to just blatantly give him some warmth and not be expecting him to not even have at least one thought about what he could do with that, and not in a nice way.

But you were clever. You didn't let him take any chances, and you didn't let him backstab you. You were always one step ahead, and to his attempts at stealing and using you? You didn't bat one eye. He should've been deterred, but... Why? why are you making him feel so protective over you? Was it a mishap during potionology? What's this... warmth?

With time, he began to begrudgingly accept your kindness as it is, with no catches. He didn't try to find any flaws in your walls, and didn't try to use you as much as before. Food was game, though. You couldn't delete that part of Ruggie even if you tried. It was hardwired into his skull since day one.

He was in constant denial of his feelings, escaping all confrontation inside and outside his mind, and living "blissfully unaware" until it came to bite him in the ass. And when did that happen? You guessed it. Today.

Not exactly today, your switch up happened a week or so ago. It was more like, his tolerance ended today.

Long story short? you began hanging out with this no name low rep student, and you ditched your (self proclaimed) best friend. Now that was the plot twist of the century!

Had you... began to think he's using you? Well, the food part is obvious. But he never used you in other aspects! Well... You didn't give him a chance to, but that's just details. And now he's so attached (hurts to say, but denial cant go any longer) so even if he uses you he doesnt know how'd that end on his side. Seeing you get all chummy with... that. hurt him more than he'd like to admit.

He wasn't sure if he should've talked to you and just upped and confessed, but he also reasoned that he'd lose the free food. (and something more.), so... he waited for a bit. And he waited. And waited...

Each day, he felt more and more high strung. What was that no good scum doing? Why was he hogging you all to himself? What was he planning? Now, you don't even come over at lunch and hang out with him while giving him some of your food. You just... Go and sit with that idiot.

That's it, he thought. He would tell you that he wasn't okay with you breaking your (made up) deal of giving him food. Using stupid excuses, of course. You'd see right through him, but he'd try anyway.

And then, came the fateful day. He texted you to come over, and you did. The classroom was empty when you arrived, other than the hyena beastman looking a bit nervous.

He looked at you and gave you his trademark grin, before breaking into an exasperated facade, shrugging his shoulders and acting like a parent with a child.

"Wow, have been so caught up hanging out with your newest 'friend' that you forgot about the original!" He found himself emphasizing the word 'friend' with a slight snark that'd be missed if you hadn't known him for so long. That immediately caught your attention, but to be sure, you let him speak to hear what he had to say.

Ruggie noted the silence and kept going, finding no reason to just make the conversation die already. "Listen, you can't go back on our deal-" "-I chose to give you food out of my free will-" "-and expect me to not say anything!" Cutting you off while talking was uncalled for, you'd think. But you didn't care all that much. This was pretty amusing.

His stance changed, and he furrowed his eyebrows while folding his left arm near his chest with a dramatic flair. "Gotta eat someway! How could you just leave poor ol' me to fend for myself? Did you realize how hungry I was?-" "-I saw you stealing food-" "-How could you be so cruel!" His ear twitched, and with time he realized he wasn't getting anywhere. You weren't buying it, as expected. But... You looked amused. He was glad you were enjoying yourself. Wait! Focus. He wanted to get rid of that person stealing you, and he got into the role so he had to see it to the end. Definitely not doing this for you to have fun, too.

"So, you wouldn't let your poor friend starve, right?" ... "Well, tell you what, I know a way to let you save me.

"Well, I cant."

What?

"What?" Inside his mind, he was panicking. Did he just lose his chance? He needed to keep a cool head. But... It was getting increasingly harder. Why? Why can't you?

"Come on... I know I don't have the best reputation, but give it some thought? Please?"

"Sorry, but can't." For now, at least. you thought.

He was getting more and more desperate, something new for him. He'd never been desperate for anything but food and money. Being desperate for a person? Now that was new. And he wasn't sure how to take it.

But right now, he knew that his friendship (gosh how he hoped for more...) with you might be in danger, and he had to find a way to keep you with him, and fast.

"Hey hey hey. What about, I give you 5% of all my income? pretty good odds, right?" His trademark grin would've persuaded you, if it hadn't a hidden side to it. He seemed nervous. You thought it was funny how desperate he was for the miniscule bits of free food.

"Not interested, again. Sorry, but can't really negotiate this."

His grin wavered, and his eyes kept looking at you, looking more and more weary and worried by the minute. "Hey. Think about it." His voice was about to crack, but that wouldn't have been very persuasive, wouldn't it?

Free food, huh. you thought. Why is he so adamant on this?

"Please." His pleading made you stop what you were thinking. What? That sounded way too real. Why?

"Why are you so insistent?"

"Because I love you!"

The silence in the room was overwhelming, and your shocked expression made him like he did the dumbest thing ever. Before he could say that it was a joke, you immediately replied.

"I love you too, Ruggie."

Another whiplash. He... Didn't expect to lash out like that.

"Funny joke. Real funny." His unbelieving gaze kept its place looking into your eyes, searching any tells of you lying. But... You didn't seem to be lying. His shock must've showed on his face, because you immediately rebutted.

"Ruggie, I love you. I truly do, I love all of you." Your gaze kept firm, and for the first time in a long time, Ruggie felt... Loved. Safe? It... was difficult to sift through and understand an emotion newly discovered. He never thought something like this would happen to him someday. He was still expecting you to get out a camera and say that it was all a joke. But as he waited, you... Didn't seem to have anything like that in mind.

He didn't cry, but you held his hand. And you promised to not leave him. And you told him that this wouldn't change anything, and that it's okay that he was jealous. It was weird for him, but he felt... Content.

Somehow, you made a hyena from the streets, one of the most elusive and mischievous species living on the streets, infatuated with you. Guess he did get a happy ending he never even dreamed of, huh?

BONUS

(Later that day, he found out that the person who led to all of this was actually a friend that was helping you set up a shop outside school so Ruggie could also work a bit at an honest job. Cue to him getting embarrassed and trying to brush it all off)

🐆

175 notes · View notes

willowpains · 1 month ago

Text

moments where their friendship blossomed

drew starkey x latina actress reader!

getting to know each other

Maddie and Drew were hosting a game night in their apartment during the first week of filming, so it was just you guys: Maddie, Drew, Madison, Chase, JD, Rudy, Austin and y/n.

It had been a few days of filming and bonding, getting to know each other and your characters, joking, etc.

But it had always been during filming, so they had decided to host a little game night to get to know each other as friends, and not in a work environment, even though it didn’t even feel like work cause we were always having fun.

They popped out some beers, pizza was ordered, many bags of chips were opened, glasses of wine were shared and everything was flowing perfectly, everyone having a wonderful time just being dumb and enjoying each others company.

“Y/n, is it hard being so far away from home? or like, in another country?” Chase asked, popping a chip on his mouth and looking at you attentively.

You shrugged while letting out a sight.

“It’s been a little hard” you said trying to find the right words to express your feelings. “I’m such a family girl, being away from my family will always be a challenge for me” your eyes meet your friends’s for a second. “But it’s not my first time, so I think I’ve been slowly preparing myself for this moment my whole life” you pause “I knew that one day this would be the price to pay to achieve my dreams”

Your friends listened and silenced and looked at you while you finished explaining how you felt.

It wasn’t hard to open up to them. It might’ve been the wine, or the energy that they exuded, making you feel comforted and that you could trust them.

“You’re gonna make me tear up” Maddie said while sipping on her wine.

You let out a laugh while she extends her hand out for you to take it, and you do, squeezing hers and giving her a smile.

“Well we’re your family now too” Drew suddenly spoke from the couch in front of you. “And we’ll be here if you need us” he said looking at you “Here for each other” he finished looking at the rest around you.

You smiled at his words, feeling your heart warm at the gesture, and at the meaning behind it. You had basically just met, but you were already so close to the group.

“Is it weird that it feels like we’ve met for longer than a week?” Madison spoke after taking a sip of her beer. “Like I know it’s not just the alcohol speaking” she giggled “I feel like I’ve known you guys for a lifetime”

Rudy clapped his hands together making us jump in our places.

“No you’re right” he said pointing to Madison “This” he motion towards the group “Just feels right”.

Austin tipped his beer bottle upwards toasting to Rudy’s words.

“Cheers to that” JD said clicking his beer with ours.

“To our new found family!” Maddie said excitedly as we all repeated her words and sipped our drinks with big smiles on our faces.

You never knew if they could tell, but that night, you went back to your place feeling like even if you were miles away from home, you were not alone.

breaking character

“Action!”

Drew and you were filming a scene for season one, where your character, a pogue named Luna who’s friends with John B and the rest of the group, is working at the midsummers party as a hostess, having to face Rafe and his kook friends before chaos begins.

“Fancy seeing you here Luna” Drew says getting into character, quickly approaching you as you stood near the windows trying to look busy with your papers in hand.

“Can I help you Rafe?” You ask moving your gaze to meet his, with a monotone voice, clearly trying to keep calm for whatever was about to come.

“Come on doll, why the long face?” He asks as he smirks, moving his hands to rest on the pockets of his pants looking at you.

You roll your eyes as you turn around and start walking away from him.

“Whoa, I’m surprised” he says with irony dripping from his voice as you feel him walking behind you. “I expected disrespect from your filthy friends, not from you” he chuckles.

You turn around sharply, almost bumping into him, giving him a, pretty unfriendly look.

“If you cannot tell, I’m busy working” you say giving him a fake smile “I’d appreciate it if you stopped wasting my precious time” you finish dropping your smile immediately.

Drew scoffs as he watches you turn around one more time, but now, his hand goes on to grab your wrist, holding you in place a little bit longer.

“I’m not done talking to you Luna” he murmured under his breath looking you dead in the eye. “Why you’re so aggressive all of a sudden?”

It was your turn to scoff at him.

“You treat my friends like shit Rafe” you whisper angrily at him, trying not to talk too loud. Your character scared to loose her job. “You treat us like we’re below you and I’m tired”.

You make a move to release your hand from his hold but he doesn’t budge.

“I’ve never done anything to you” he whispers low and slow at you as he holds eye contact.

You take a moment to look at him before answering him.

“Every time you do something to them” you gesture to nobody in particular, just outside, where you knew the rest of the party gathered. “You’re doing it to me”

You make a move to turn around and leave once again, but his grip refused to let you go, and you try to yank your hand away.

“Stop it” you say whispering, your patience running low as you look at him.

“Look I…” he moves a little closer to you, and you notice the desperate look in his eyes.

But before he can speak any further, Rudy, playing JJ, walks hurriedly behind you as he’s being chased by some other guys playing kooks.

“JJ what are you…?” You are not able to finish your question towards him, as he’s moving faster away from you.

Rudy glances back as he gives you a look like he has it all under control.

“Luna, get the crew! We gotta move!” He screams, causing more commotion around him as he stumbles upon a couple of people, mumbling apologies, before he disappears into a hallway and a couple of kooks follow behind.

Drew drops your hand grumbling and mumbling out words under his breath that you cannot make out.

“We’ll continue our conversation later” he says with a stressed tone, as he makes a move to follow where Rudy had just disappeared.

Now it was your time to take a hold of his arm, trying to stop him.

“Leave him alone Rafe” you say, trying to sound as threatening as possible.

Drew scoffs and easily yanks his arm out of your hold as he turns to start sprinting to where the other kooks had gone.

But as he takes a step forward, he somehow slips and trips, hitting the floor before you can even reach out for him, his shoes making a lot of sound against the wooden floors.

“Oh shit” Drew says as he’s unable to save himself from the fall, and just tries to put his arms out to protect himself a little better from the fall.

Without thinking, a gasp leaves your mouth as you watch him fall in front of your eyes.

You wait a couple of seconds before covering your mouth while looking at him on the floor, debating on whether to help him up or stay in place to salvage the scene.

In that moment, laughter can be heard behind the camera, and that’s your cue to walk to Drew on the floor, as you lean down and crouch next to him before exploding in laughter.

“Are you okay?” You ask between giggles, looking at him now fully laying down laughing.

He nodded while he covered his eyes and continued laughing at himself.

“God that was embarrassing” he says as he sits up and you gently pat him on the back helping him up, still remembering how he fell down.

You turn around and point to the camera.

“Please keep it in the blooper reel!” You scream at the crew behind the camera, turning to look at it while you point to Drew.

Everyone around you two starts laughing even more, as Drew groans next to you and nudges your arm playfully.

“I just fell down! Give me a break” he says to you as he takes his hands through his hair, trying to fix it as he continues laughing.

You place your hands over your stomach as you crouch in laughter, not being able to keep it together.

“I’m so sorry” you say, feeling like you could pee yourself from laughter.

“That funny huh?” Drew asks as he slowly stands up and and dusts off his pants. “Well, someone needs to show me the scene now” he laughed.

People on set and behind the camera chuckled at his words.

He offered you a hand as you looked him up from your position crouched on the floor, trying to regain your breath.

“You just made my day” you say, accepting his hand as he pulls you up gently until you’re both standing up.

He smiles at you as he looks down chuckling.

“At least something good came out of it” he says sarcastically while he shoves me away playfully and laughs.

tomfoolery

It was late at night. Who knew what time during midnight, and you all were still stuck filming.

Night shoots were usually fun.

Except you’d been filming all day, and now all night, without breaks.

To say you were all tired, it was an understatement.

But you had all reached the point past tiredness, where now, you were basically delusional from sleep deprivation.

Laughing, making terrible jokes that almost made you pee your pants, singing songs off key with wrong lyrics, and many other things.

Right now, you were all waiting to be called for a scene, except Maddie and Chase, because they were currently filming. While JD, Madison, Rudy and Austin were sleeping, ones on the floor, and other on their chairs.

Drew and you were the ones pulling an all nighter, having a battle on who out of the group could last longer awake, and on their right state of mind.

As you could see, some of your friends had already lost.

“I’m gonna put you on a great song” you say pulling out your phone from your pocket, while scrolling on Spotify.

Drew groaned while he threw his head back.

“I know it’s a reggaeton song” he says groaning while closing his eyes, resting them for a bit.

You giggled slightly at how well he knew you.

It was a you thing at this point.

Coming up to all of your friends often and trying to introduce them to reggaeton. It was like you were inviting them to join to your cult or something. They all made fun of you for it.

“You’re gonna love it, I promise” you say standing up from your chair and walking to Drew’s, hitting play and moving your hand around your phone speaker to try and make it louder.

You were playing Callaita, by Bad Bunny and Tainy, a very popular song at the time that made you wanna dance immediately.

He took out his phone and began filming how you were vibing to the song, moving your hips doing a very bad Shakira impression, while you mouthed the words without missing a beat, Drew laughing hysterically behind the camera.

“Wait what’s it saying?” He asks as he continues filming you.

You walked closer to him, getting really close to the camera while you continued singing and hitting each word right.

“You don’t wanna know” you say while breaking down and laughing hysterically on the floor.

Drew made sure he was capturing everything, you would all laugh about it later.

Suddenly, a loud shush from behind made you both look at the source of the sound.

Austin was looking disheveled and sleepy, as he looked at your position on the floor, giving you a dirty look as he went back to sleep after asking you to please tone it down.

Drew zoomed in on his face while he woke up, and then, moved the camera to film yours, that was wide eyed and trying to hold back a huge giggle.

You broke out in low laughter as you covered your face and hid in your jacket, trying to muffle your sounds not wanting to disturb anyone else.

Drew cut the video shortly after he captured your body wheezing of laughter on the floor and he couldn’t contain his own any longer.

“Enough reggaeton” he said after a few minutes of you two trying to regain your composure and going back to laughing and failing terribly.

“Boooo” you said wiping your laughing tears away as you looked up at him from your position on the floor, almost next to his feet.

“Let’s listen to some Arctic Monkeys now” he says as he searches for a song on his phone.

You giggle as you pause your own music and look at him.

“So we’re still on slutty music, but now in English huh?” You let out while you raise your eyebrows at him.

He looks at you for a second before bursting out in laughter again.

It’s safe to say your friends were pissed at you for waking them up from their sleep a few times.

nights out

The cast had decided to go out to a bar in Charleston to celebrate the wrap up on filming the first season of Outer Banks.

You were all around a table, already a few drinks in, snacking on chips and fries while talking and reminiscing on everyone’s favorite moments from set.

“We should all go around the table and say something we’re grateful about this project and meeting each other” Madison spoke suddenly catching our attention. “We don’t know if we’ll ever get to work again together, but now that we’re done filming, it just feels fitting”.

Everyone agreed and as Madison was the one with the idea, she was the one that kicked off the dynamic.

She started by saying how grateful and lucky she felt about the opportunity and getting to know each and every one of you.

When they started mentioning different things they came to love about each other, your heart swelled with love for your friends.

They all had said the most loveliest things about you.

Madison said she admired your bravery and pride in being truly yourself without holding back anything, that she wished she could’ve learned to be like you sooner in her life.

Chase told you he was grateful for your taste in music, that he didn’t know all that he was missing on all along.

JD surprised you by saying how much of a sister he saw in you, that he had connected and bonded on a lot of family struggles you both had gone through.

Austin said that your late night talking sessions were one of the highlights of his time, that he appreciated how you always listened, without judgement.

Rudy expressed how amazed he was by your ability to get a laugh out of everyone in the group. That you definitely were the funniest and he would miss your sense of humor.

Madelyn’s words made your heart swell and almost shed a few tears.

She told you how much she loved you. That she didn’t know she could form a bond so deep and so meaningful with someone in such a short period of time. She had always had this deep longing in her chest for a friend where the bond could feel like sisterhood, where there were no envy, competition, and more so support, laughs, girl talks, and all that stuff. And that wherever your life would take each of you, you were now stuck together.

They had all made you feel more than loved and appreciated.

It was your turn to speak.

You thanked everyone for all you had learned, and went on saying everything you admired from each and every single one of them.

When it came to Drew, you said it all.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so selfless and giving as you” you told him while smiling at him across the table. “I don’t think you noticed, but every day we shared together, you taught me a little bit more about being able to share a piece of me without waiting for anything in return”.

Drew smiled at you while he listened with attentive eyes.

“I have to say i always looked for the moments in the day were we could just talk from something important to absolute nonsense” you paused gathering your thoughts. “Because something about you, ever since we met, has felt so calming” you looked at him “And I found myself looking for the peace you brought to me all the time”.

His cheeks reddened and you asked yourself if it was possible that he could look any more adorable.

“Thank you for letting me in your life Drew, I won’t ever take it for granted” you finished as you took a sip of your drink before continuing.

You breathed deeply before looking at all of your friends.

“I believe this project has had the biggest butterfly effect in my life so far” you say. “I don’t know how our show will do, and I can only hope that it goes great, so I can have the pleasure of working with you all again” you laughed with them as you crossed your fingers. “But what I do know, is that I am so grateful that our paths have crossed, and that now I have you all in my life, because I’ve learned from you and I’ve experienced things that I’ll take with me forever” you finished as you cheered rising your drink and smiling at your friends.

They all cheered and sipped to your words.

Because they felt the same.

And at last, but very not least, came Drew’s turn.

As always, he took his time saying sweet words about all of your friends, leaving you to the end.

He sighed as he looked at you before clearing his throat.

“Y/n, where do I even begin” he said smiling at you. “You’ve surprised me in more ways that I can even mention”

You smiled back at him as you felt your heart warm with affection.

“I couldn’t quite read you at the beginning, and I’m happy to say that you have turned out to be one of the biggest plot twists in my life” he said, making everyone in the table laugh, while your cheeks blushed at the compliment. “I never expected to meet someone like you, you have been amazing to me, always there to ask how I am, to listen if needed, to crack a joke and get a laugh out of me, to recommend me the newest book you’ve discovered, to ask if I wanted to watch a movie, to help me do groceries, the list could go on forever” he paused. “And I know we all have been lucky to have you in our lives thanks to this project”

Tears welled up in your eyes as he continued pouring his heart out.

“I have to be honest and say I’m truly terrified of this coming to an end” he motions towards the group and lays his eyes on you once again. “I don’t wanna lose this bond that we’ve built with each other”

You nodded at his words, listening attentively at him.

“And I definitely don’t wanna think about having to go a day without listening to you talk about the next book you wanna buy” he said smiling at you. “Because now that I’ve experienced what’s it like to have someone like you in my life, I don’t wanna go back”.

You stood up from your chair, and rounded the table until you stood next to him and enveloped him in a hug, resting your cheek against his chest.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around you.

“Your words were so kind” you whispered, still holding on to him. “Thank you”

Drew’s chest rumbled as he let out a soft laugh, still enveloping you between his arms, as he leaned back a bit to look at you.

“Nothing but the truth” he smiled at you.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS!

hope you liked getting to know her a little bit better and her relationship with drew and the cast<3

let me know if you wanna read or see anything in particular about latina actress reader!

392 notes · View notes

famousstatesmanbearroad · 3 months ago

Text

DISTRACTIONS (WWE CODY RHODES)

•Summary: He’s allowed you in his head, allowed you to play mind games, allowed you to make him vulnerable, causing his match against your cousin at WrestleMania 39. Months later and he finally earns another match, just for you to start the distraction all over again, dwelling on the pass

• Parings: Cody Rhodes X Samoan fem reader

Warnings - mentions of sex, 18+ only (Minors DNI), (READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)

Word count: 3.2k

Bloodline: A set of ancestors or line of descent of a person.

That's what your brothers and Cousins called themselves here at World Wrestling Entertainment. Your cousin, Roman, the tribal chief, has run this company and held the Undisputed WWE Universal heavyweight championship for three years.

Your brothers held the undisputed tag team belts for over a year before losing them at WrestleMania a few months ago. Since then, things have changed.

Your brothers aren't on the best terms. Jey, one-half of your twin brothers, has left the bloodline after Jimmy, his other half, betrayed him.

Since then, Solo, Roman's third-oldest brother, and Jimmy have been by Roman's side.

And you? You two are by Roman's side.

Not by choice, however.

Family is Family. You have supported Roman since he joined this company with his two best friends. As the years have passed, Roman has changed—for the better and the worse.

You haven't had much of a role in the bloodline other than the one who plays mind games with Roman's opponent.

Brock Lenser, your first victim. It's just a tiny distraction here and there just for him to slip and lose his belt to Roman.

Drew McIntyre fought hard not to let the distractions get to him. To you, it was very much easy. His allowing you to get in the way was one of his biggest regrets.

Then there was Cody Rhodes. Cody, fucking Rhodes. This was your biggest challenge out of all three. The lengths you went to distracted me. It almost seemed like it wasn't working at first. Then it did.

You don't like to admit this, but Cody left an ideally permanent scar on you mentally. You were almost relieved when you barely saw him after WrestleMania 39 a few months ago. And you tried your hardest to keep it a distraction, and only a distraction.

But Cody immediately knew you as a person. He knew your weaknesses, fears, and thoughts, and your mind changed every second, distracting both of you.

And after that night he lost, you knew Cody wasn't finished, but you vowed to yourself that if there was a moment when Cody had the opportunity to Wrestle your cousin again, you would stay the hell away from Cody.

However, your cousin had different plans.

You are sitting across from Roman in his dressing room as he dismisses Jimmy, Solo, and Heyman.

He looked at you as he lay back in his seat, sighing. "Listen," he spoke with such boldness that heads would turn in any room. You have helped me a lot, and typically, I don't ask you for favors. But you saw it. The whole world and I saw it. Cody has won the Royal Rumble, and he's after one thing and one thing only: me."

Cody's name falling out of Roman's mouth sent your heart straight to your ass. You were there when Cody pointed at Roman after winning the Royal Rumble. And you prayed his name didn't get brought up afterward. But you, here you were, hearing his name.

Roman looked dead at you as you remained silent. "I don't know what you did to cause such a big distraction to Cody, but it worked, and I need you to do whatever power you have to do it again."

If only he knew. If only the things you and Cody had done had caused the distractions. With Brock, these minor distractions taunted him, distracted the referee, and even distracted him so Roman could re-strengthen himself and take him down.

Drew, although it was fucked, you flirted with him and made him feel like his wife never existed; you never once touched him, but you damn sure made him want to touch you.

Cody, it took lots of flirtation, a whole lot of him calling your bullshit and one night. One fucking night that caused the scars for you and to allow Cody to be distracted.

"I don't think it's gonna work again; he's gotten fool once; he might not be a fool again." You tell him. However, Roman chuckles as he shakes his head.

"People around here say that you're the best at what you do, the best at distracting people." He said. "Are you doubting yourself? Are you telling me that you're not good at your job?"

You rolled your eyes at Roman. Though if any of his other family members did that, he would be pissed. But unlike the others, you weren't afraid of Roman or to speak up.

"I have only ever distracted someone to the point where they lose and lose only. Not lose and then come back a year later with another title shot."

Roman went silent, then leaned forward, rubbing his chin as he listened to what you said. "I get it. This is a difficult challenge. Normally, a person wouldn't be as easily distracted a second time. But I need you, Y/N. I need you to do whatever it takes to ensure this." He speaks, pointing at his belt. "Stay with me."

It was his words that played in your head multiple times.

"I need you, Y/N." You cared about your cousin and would do whatever it took to ensure he was a champion, so you eventually agreed to a second round of distractions at Cody.

You knew where Cody's bus was and where you were near it. The fact that it was still parked indicated that he was still around and hadn't returned.

You lay your back against the bus, waiting patiently for him to appear. Then, you suddenly saw a figure from afar, still in his gear, walking in your direction.

This was the first time in almost a year since you saw him again. You have to admit to yourself that you're nervous as shit. Memories that the two of you shared played in the back of your head. And the closer he got, the more you regretted this again.

His eyes landed on you as you bit your lip, watching him approach you. From his expression, it looked like he was expecting you.

Cody. To him, you were like a plague that wouldn't go away. That night damaged him in many ways you couldn't imagine. He couldn't get over that night. It was the most he had ever been vulnerable. He, too, made a vow to himself.

When in doubt, never let you in again if you ever come back. He wanted you as far away from him as possible.

But right now, you were already making it complicated, especially how you looked at him, bit down on your lip, and looked at him with such innocence. And the amount of skin.

Your skin was his weakness, the way it was soft every time he touched it, the way you allowed yourself to show so much and not give a damn if it was too revealing.

However, Cody sighed, giving you the coldest response ever.

"What the hell do you want?" He asked you. You gave him a small smile as you raised your hands in defense and straightened yourself up, off against his bus. "I didn't come here to start anything; I just came here to congratulate you." You said. "You promised yourself that you would finish your story, and now you're one step closer."

Cody eyed you. You were being genuine, he can tell. But he knew you didn't come here for just that.

"Thank you." He said. "Anything else?"

You put a smile on your face as you took a step closer to him. Cody watched you with caution as if you were going to cause destruction.

"You left the Tribal Chief very angry." You spoke. Cody laughs as he looks down before looking back up at you. "And that concerns me because?"

"Because he isn't going to go easy on you. He's already beaten you once; he doesn't want to deal with you again."

"Well, that sounds like a Roman Reigns problem," Cody said. "Anything else?"

You didn't get as close to him until now, taking a step closer as he watched you. His expression was unreadable but slightly changed as you looked up at him. You noticed the gulp that went down his throat. His chest rose and fell heavily, but his eyes never left yours.

"I'm looking forward to seeing what you have in store on the way to WrestleMania," you said.

You lifted your hand, reaching on his chest, attempting to touch whether it was a Cody. He noticed your hand and immediately snapped by grabbing your wrist.

"Don't fucking touch me."

His voice was cold. He looked at you with a heartless expression, and you couldn't help but have your smile fade.

He's changed, you thought. It wasn't like he didn't act like this last time you targeted him. He knew what you were doing and tried his hardest not to let you get to him, but he was never heartless. Which made you think it was the only reason why your plan even worked despite him seeing your bullshit.

And it wasn't that you found a way to toy with him; he allowed you to despite everything.

Cody vowed to himself that if you ever came in contact with him, even if it meant himself earning a title opportunity against your cousin, he was going to let what happen.

You gasped as he aggressively let go of your hand. He walked past without a word, climbing into his bus and slamming the door shut.

You didn't realize that you were holding your breath as your chest started rising up and down. You knew getting Cody distracted would be more challenging than expected this time, but you didn't realize exactly how difficult it was. You knew he wouldn't want to deal with this again. You were part of why he lost his match in April. You could tell he was distracted, eyeing you every time he noticed you were there after forgetting.

You didn't realize he wasn't mad at you because you cost him his match. He couldn't blame you. He blamed himself for allowing you to distract him. It was that night—the night he made himself vulnerable, the night all these emotions and tensions the two of you had led up to it.

Cody leaned against his table and let out a shook breath, rubbing his face. God, you looked gorgeous, he thought. But he hated you so much. He hated that you mentally impacted him; it was just a game. A fucking game.

Cody sat in an empty bar somewhere in Tampa as he downed another drink, bourbon whisky.

He should be celebrating; he just won the Royal Rumble for the second time in a row. Why is he so depressed?

He couldn't get you out of his head.

He knew when exactly you started to get him. The first you moaned his name, he almost went feral, and he barely touched you. He doesn't know if it slipped out of you or if you did it purposely to get inside his head. But it worked.

He had wondered what it would feel like to feel you, touch you, make you moan his name again. Then it happened, he got the experience. It fucked him up in ways he knew it would the minute it happened.

He hates you. But as fucked up as it sounds, if he had an opportunity to fuck you again with no consequences, no mind games, he would do it in a heartbeat.

Over

And over

And over again.

"Yo, Uce!" Cody's head turned as a figure walked in his direction.

Jey Uso. Twin brother of Jimmy, your second oldest brother. You two had a falling out after SummerSlam. Nothing personal that you did. Jey always thought you deserved better than to be just Roman's puppet. You do whatever Roman says, and Jey hates the fact that he used you.

Cody poured another glass of bourbon as Jey sat beside him, noticing the long face. "You good uce?" Jey asked.

Cody rubbed his temple after taking a sip from his class and placing it down. He was unsure if he should tell Jey about you. Regardless of the wrong terms you two were on, Jey loved you. You were closer to Jey than your other two brothers.

But despite debating on whether or not Cody should tell Jey, he did anyway.

"I ran into your sister earlier," Cody said. Jey's expression changed as he took a seat next to him.

Jey knew how much you played a big part in his match against Roman last WrestleMania. He never knew the extent you took to pull off you. Only that you achieved it, allowing yourself to get to Cody.

But Jey missed you, and hearing Cody mention your name only means that Roman sent you to distract him again, which he didn't like.

"Look, Uce, you gotta not let Y/N get to you like she did last time," Jey said. "Roman is only making her do this so he can get you when you're not paying attention."

If only you knew, Cody thought. Jey doesn't know what happened. No one knows but you and Cody.

However, Cody chuckled when Jey mentioned Roman. The two knew that Roman only kept you around to help him with his opponents. Otherwise, he wouldn't keep you around.

"Does she always listen to him?" Cody asked your brother, who shook his head while grabbing a glass from the bartender and pouring himself a drink. "Man, I don't enjoy seeing him tell her what to do. I think she only does it because Roman is like a brother to all of us."

Cody took in what Jey said. He knew that you and your brothers were closer to Roman than any other cousins in the family.

"Whatever happened between you two?" Jey asked. I don't wanna bring up the past, but she got you pretty distracted." Cody sighed as he looked down at his drink. "She did get me distracted. I can't even tell how because I don't know how."

It was a half lie. Of course, he knew how she distracted him, but he was unsure what led up to that night.

Neither of them was drunk; there was no buildup or arguments.

He couldn't take it anymore. He blacked out.

"Aye, whatever she's trying to do, just know it's all Roman who's behind it," Jey said as he drowned the last bit of drink in his glass cup. He then stood up and grabbed Cody's shoulders, shaking him. "You just won the Royal Rumble for the second time; we should be celebrating uce!"

Cody smiles as he lets out a laugh. "Alright, alright, let's get on the celebration then,"

"Yeet!" Jey exclaimed. "Aye, let's get another bottle over here!"

Cody laughed as a bottle made its way towards the two men. However, despite the drinks, despite the celebrating he and Jey were doing

You were still in the back of his head

It's been a week. It was a week that started as a celebration, to confusion and questions, to an answer that you thought was the dumbest thing Cody had ever made.

The minute you saw your other cousin, Dwayne, backstage on Smackdown, you were convinced it had something to do with Roman.

What you didn't think was going to happen was Cody telling the whole world that he would not be facing Roman at WrestleMania, just for Dwayne to appear as Roman's new opponent.

You didn't want to interact with Cody again, incredibly when distracting him. But you also never wanted Cody to give up his opportunity to face Roman at WrestleMania and become champion. You weren't that heartless.

You stood backstage, watching the whole thing play out, Dwayne and Roman face to face as Cody walked out of the ring.

As the two made eye contact, your eyes drifted towards the curtains—the same curtains Cody had come out of.

His expression was numb but readable. You knew Cody wasn't fond of giving up his WrestleMania spot to Dwayne. You had no idea how or why this sudden feeling of care came from, but the moment Cody broke eye contact and began to walk off, your hands found themselves on his arms, pulling him back.

"That was an idiotic decision to make," You spoke. At first, Cody didn't look at you, but when you said what he said, he looked at you.

"Why do you care?" He asked.

"I don't," you lied. Cody called bullshit through your words. But he didn't say anything. He just sighed, like he always does.

"It doesn't matter why I made my decision," he said. “You don't have to follow your cousin's plan and get me off track. I did everyone a favor."

You rolled your eyes at Cody. It was now your turn to see his bullshit, only this time you called him out for it. "You knew, regardless, our interaction would happen the moment you won the Royal Rumble. It took a lot to get in your head last year, and now you're giving up so easily." You said. "Drop whatever act you got going on."

Cody remained silent as he stared at you, digesting your words. You were right; he was giving up so easily. He wouldn't admit that you had got in his head, just like the millions of people he has interacted with this week.

Seth Rollins, Adam Pearce, Nick Aldis, Dwayne, you. His head was all over the place right now, and the last thing he wanted to do was drown himself with a bottle in his bus.

His head momentarily snapped out of his thoughts as he realized how close the two were. He could smell you. You smelled amazing.

Like Vanilla.

And his cologne was just as strong as your scent as you fought against it, clouding your head.

You noticed the way his eyes wandered down you, making you feel exposed, hot even. Cody couldn't help but stare at you just for a moment. He knew his weakness when it came to you was your skin.

Oh, it would feel great to touch and taste you right now. The outfit spun his head, which showed much more skin than expected.

You didn't even do anything, and Cody was already getting distracted.

And so were you, as you didn't realize both your cousins and Heyman were walking out the curtains, only to see how incredibly close you two were.

"Y/N!" Roman's voice was powerful and low and caused you to flinch as you let go of Cody's arms, creating space for him.

Both Dwayne and Roman look at you. It's imitating having one look at you. Both? It felt like they were scolding you. You couldn't even look at them.

And Cody noticed this. He could glimpse fear in your eyes.

Y/N, afraid of your cousin, Cody thought. He knew that you do whatever Roman tells you to do. But he's now starting to believe he controls you too much.

"Let's go," Roman looks at you. You didn't say anything as you walked off. Heyman follows behind you as Cody watches you leave.

However, he notices Roman staring at him. Cody narrowed his eyes at Roman as the two just stood there.

Roman has never questioned you about Cody. The man he despises is eyeing his little cousin, whom he considers more of a sister.

It has him questioning if something is going on between the two of you that he's missing.

Next Part

240 notes · View notes

qatarsprint2023 · 3 months ago

Text

𝖿𝗋𝖺𝗍!𝗋𝖺𝖿𝖾 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

beer pong with frat!rafe word count: ca. 900 this is my first time writing something for obx, so please be gentle with me 🙏🏻

The bass from the huge speaker in the corner thumped through the crowded living room, a pulse of energy that vibrated through the floorboards of the Frat House.

You squeezed through the sea of people, clutching a red solo cup filled with something that was probably too strong for your liking.

You weren't a big fan of these kinds of parties—too loud, too chaotic—but your roommate had dragged you along, promising it would be fun. So of course, since your New Year's resolution had been to be more social this year and you couldn't give up a week into January, you came along.

You'd lost your roommate somewhere in the crowd to either booze or some frat boy with a charming smile, though the latter was more likely.

Pushing through a group of people with a mutter of "Sorry... 'scuse me...", you finally made it into the kitchen, hoping for a minute or two you wouldn't have to apologise for bumping into someone else every two seconds.

Well, thought wrong because you saw a group of frat boys gathered around by the snack table, laughing loudly at some joke made by one of the brothers.

There was a tall guy leaning against the counter as he stood by the group, dressed in a faded sweatshirt with the Greek letters of whatever frat this was emblazoned across his chest.

He had this... intriguing air of confidence around him— smirk playing on his lips as he talked with his brothers, blonde hair tousled in a way that looked effortless but somehow still intentional? Another one of those guys with that easy charm that drew people in without even trying.

You decided to ignore them and grab something to snack on because at least that might give you an excuse to somewhat politely decline attempts at conversation from random guys that had been approaching you and your roommate for the past half hour you'd been here.

"Hey there, watch what you're grabbing! Those pretzels are a hot commodity," you heard someone say beside you in a jokingly chiding tone as you reached for the bowl with pretzels on the table.

Turning around, you raised an eyebrow at the blonde guy with the sweatshirt— broad chested beneath the fabric and with a confident smirk tugging on the corner of his lips.

"I'll keep that in mind. Didn’t realize the snack table was part of the VIP area," you replied, matching his tone.

"Rafe," he smiled that charming smile of his and outstretched his hand toward you. You nodded, shaking his hand in that playful manner he'd been using.

"Y/N," you replied, finishing the contents of your red solo cup with a grimace before grabbing some more of whatever it was some booze wizard had whipped up there. It was strong, but surprisingly good.

"You care for a beer pong, Y/N?" Rafe asked, nodding towards the large sliding door to the backyard where there was a significant group of people gathered on the porch. "Promised Jason from Sig Nu I'd rematch him."

"I... don't know who that is, but I know beer pong," you laughed, nodding as you and Rafe walked past his brothers, who were already deep in conversation again, and out onto the porch.

God, it was packed out here.

Not as bad as the crowd in the living room, but since everyone had made a little circle around the beer pong table, there were a lot of people crammed into a small space.

Rafe reached for your hand. "Here," he offered. "Wouldn't wanna lose my beer pong partner now, would I?"

When he finally found the guy he'd apparently promised a rematch, he leaned in as you finished your drink. "You ready to show these guys how it’s done?"

"Born ready," you laughed as the game from the people who were playing before you went outside came to an end under loud cheers and clapping.

Your own game went by rather quickly because for some reason your throwing accuracy was still very much in tact after two cups of that mystery drink while the two guys from the other Frat were in way deeper than you or Rafe, so in the end they'd racked up a total of a whopping 10 points.

At this point you're hammered, high-fiving Rafe and barely registering that one of his brothers took a photo of you two.

"Gonna need your insta now," Rafe called over the music as the two of you turned away from the beer pong table to allow the next teams to play.

"Huh?" you asked in return, stepping inside through the sliding door.

Finding yourself in the kitchen again, Rafe reached for another beer.

"Your insta," the boy repeated, a lopsided grin on his lips. "To tag you in that photo Kev took of us."

You have no idea who this Kev guy is, but you reach for your phone in an instant. If a hot guy's asking for your insta, you're giving it to him, that's a rule. Especially if you're trying to be more sociable Sophomore year.

"Gotta celebrate beating Sig Nu once again," Rafe keeps going and takes your phone from you. "I swear, no fine motor skills left there."

You laugh in reply to his little dig, taking your phone back once Rafe's written your insta down in his notes app.

"You're definitely allowed to be my beer pong partner again, you know?" he tells you, already halfway out on the porch again, some brother dragging him out. "You can have some of the VIP pretzels, too, next time."

#rafe cameron x reader #college au #fraternity #frat!rafe #frat!rafe x reader #obx #outer banks #rafe x reader #rafe cameron #qatarsprint2023 #obx x reader

150 notes · View notes

chuuminn · 2 months ago

Note

Holaaa Minnie!

Its 🕯 nonniee hereee

omgomgomg I'm getting so addicted to your recommendations 😭.

Would you pretty pls recommend beast dazai or beast chuuya fics? nsfw, angst, fluff anything. I'm just too obsessed with beast au here as I just finished the manga and sobbinggg.

🕯 nonnie !!!! candlelight of my lifeeee, i am so so so sorry about how long this took. your ask made me realize how little beast canon fic’s i’ve read, so i wanted to do some diving before making a rec list. most of these dazai-centric, though chuu does get to have some fun with you in rec number four !

i’m sure this goes without saying - it is the beast canon after all - but these get dark. please, please, read through the content warnings and stay safe, mwwwwwaaahh !

spoilers for bungo stray dogs: beast below !!! waterloo by @osarina infinite universes, infinite possibilities. across them all, only one thing remains constant: you and your fateful meeting with dazai osamu, a whirlwind of love and romance that seems to always end in tragedy. ( mumble: okay i know i’ve recommended waterloo before. but i cannot rightly make a beastzai list without including it. side b, ‘unreal unearth’, is within the beast canon and it’s delicious. ) not a second thought, oh, romeo by @yawarakaizai “this was a dangerous game to play. how you were going to go about this was a gamble, one that could either go in your favour - or horribly otherwise. danger thrilled you. and perhaps maybe that is why you paraded right into dazai's office wearing nothing but his black trench coat.” i’ll have you muzzled and caged, i’ll put you right in your place, you want it by @hopelessdazai “..puppy ears?” the velvet headband was clutched between your fingers. a gift box on the table in front of you from the boss of the port mafia. dazai, your personal trainer. he didn't reply at first, simply smiling down at you - before stepping beside you and taking a layer of crinkled tissue paper off. “there's a tail in there too.” perverted by @bsdawgz “dazai has always been calculating and cruel. Perhaps it was one of the things that drew you to him the most, as twisted as it were, knowing that these bloodies hands could sometimes hold you so tenderly, and that you of all people were the one he chose to see him naked at the end of the night.

and some bite-sized pieces as per usual, cause i adore them

this one and this one by @lacunazai this one by @that-weeb-in-your-closet this one by @chuulyssa

be show to show your authors some love ! they work their butts off to feed us. writers, if you see this i'm giving you the sweetest knuckles kisses, we owe you so much (｡>\\\<)

114 notes · View notes

denv2 · 1 month ago

Text

Felix and the Cats Around Him

Chapter 181~ I reread the part with Felix for the first time in a long time, and there were so many elements that I hadn't noticed before because of my relative lack of knowledge. It's so good... I like it👍

Below are my thoughts as I went through the chapters + drew pictures + IM chapter 181~ spoiler warning! (scroll through carefully lol)

When I first read IM, I knew Felix, but I didn't love him as much as I do now, so I hadn't seen the official cartoon anime (and I had seen all the Oswald anime by then, lol I love all the original characters, so if I like them, I'll watch all the original media and buy the game).

So when I read the Felix part during the hallucination created by the labyrinth in chapter 181, I actually... at that time... I just read it while just following the story, so I didn't remember much about it, and later, after I finished the fic and realized that my favorite character was Felix, I was thinking that I should read the part about Felix's past properly again later, and then I recently re-read that part...

So... so good.... I love the Felix storyline..... It's so interesting... I knew IM Alex was a badass (I really liked the Evil Author Day 2023 novella, so I read that a lot... I know it's a side novella, but I thought it had a great plot and the situation surrounding Bendy was interesting and I loved the Alex in it...) but I had forgotten all about the IM version of Kitty... WHAT?! Felix and EX relationship?!! What a crazy... Delicious (sorry for my taste buds) And it was Alex that caused them to break up? What the hell kind of crazy thing did Alex do that made Kitty feel guilty and Felix run away... Crazy! So delicious (sorry again)

I drew the original cartoon Felix and Kitty a while ago, and I feel weird because I drew them in an EX state in IM, and I feel a little sorry for them, but it's a worldview, right? The relationship between these two is so delicious... lol ahhhhh (yeah I love this kind of relationship too)

I also like villainous characters, so I'm very curious about Alex. Actually, he may not appear more, but after reading the above book... Of course, it may not have anything to do with the main story! To be honest, there's still a lot of information about the cult that hasn't been revealed, so I'm really curious to see what happens next.

Moving on to Felix... Felix was a ZANY superstar, but after Alex, he started to fall apart. Eventually, due to some sort of incident, Felix decided to give up on ZANY and left town. It's such an interesting backstory... But when I think about the early Felix, traveling the world after he left, I realize that he's so... Even better.

Giving up being zany and living with the things he was born with, like resilience and memory. I think he went through a lot of hardships... losing his wealth. He was really lost and confused, and then he met Professor Wilson, and he opened his eyes to archaeology, and he went to college, and he started studying, and he started doing archaeology, and he started adventuring... and that's how he became the skilled professional adventurer that he is today, and that's why I like him even more...

In fact, to be honest, the scene where he sees the last of Professor Wilson and he's so angry and fighting the cupbros, that was the first time I read that scene in the first book, I was surprised and bewildered because it was the first time I'd ever seen him this angry, and I was like, "Oh my god. Is this actually... Is this a fake Felix?" I was confused and then I was like, "What's wrong with Felix? He's fighting too much, that's too much!" But when I read it for the second time... I could relate to it now.... and I found the situation so interesting and I liked it... I liked Felix getting angry (this is just my selfishness... sorry to the cupbros) so much that I read it while screaming in my head. It's stimulating.

Wow...I talked a lot...I'm glad I reread it after a long time because there are so many elements I didn't notice back then. I should catch up and read it from the beginning, but you know, there are so many chapters...lol Anyway... I love Felix. I like cats and bunnies.... Of course, I also like the other friends!

I think the translator put too many and's in there... please understand the meaning and move on!

#quest felix #felix the cat #alex the cat #kitty kat #sheba beboporeba #babitim #the inky mystery #inky mystery #bendy and boris in the inky mystery #babtqftim

69 notes · View notes

silvernightabyss · 2 months ago

Text

“Who says the protagonist's life has to be happy?” - Chapter 1

Yandere Hero x gn!Reader

Isekai, who among us hasn't dreamed of it? Well, get it signed. Try not to throw yourself into the arms of the protagonist as soon as you see him. Remember, you may know everything about him, but he's seeing you for the first time. The thoughts of the protagonist come as a gift.

How many references do you want? Yes.

word count: 2.9k Prologue/Chapter 1

It's been two weeks since you've been in the fantasy world of the novel. Adapting has been difficult, even though you've inherited fragmentary memories of the original owner of the body. The unfamiliar people, surroundings, etiquette, and architecture were very disconcerting. To your shame, you spent your first night sobbing quietly in your room in the temple. The only thing you were probably lucky about was that you weren't a member of the church, just a hired sewist. Given the fact that the high priest was the one who raped Evan, you had no desire to see the man, whose name was Donavan. Make sure you memorize that shithead's name and if you ever summon a demon, sell his soul.

In fact, you hadn't seen him or Evan since you'd been in this world. And while the first pleased you, the second disappointed you. As you learned by asking the servants, Evan and his team were on a quest to destroy one of the demon lords living in a poisonous swamp. This happened at the beginning of the first volume, as you may recall. And what the author thought to add the location of the poison swamp, in all games it was always the most annoying part. Probably because the author was an insufferable evil bastard who drew inspiration from the most annoying things created by human hands. A sudden wave of anger almost ripped the thin fabric in your hands in half. Then you stroked it quickly, as if to comfort it, removing the creases that had formed.

Poor Evan was going to get poisoned by some nasty animal and come back to the temple with a fever for a week. Sad, of course, but nothing that with your level of power you could change. The day after the isekai, you tried a little magic. Find some chakra, mana core, nen or something. But no. All you got was to feel like an idiot for half an hour, huffing and puffing like a pissed-off hedgehog. No transmigrator buffs. No annoying system or divine companion. Nothing. That made you completely powerless to help Evan. It was frustrating, angry, and made you want to bang your head against the wall. Your modern upbringing couldn't allow you to ignore someone else's misfortune. If you worked in the kitchen, you would surely spit in the soups and drinks that are made especially for the High Priest. Unfortunately, those are the only petty thoughts of revenge you could afford.

Part of you just wanted to leave, good thing sewing skills were embedded in your subcortex, and you could find work somewhere else, not in a place where you knew one hero suffered every day. You wince. Thinking about it like that made you feel bad about yourself. It was vile to think of leaving. As the only person with knowledge of the situation, you had to stay and try to help in any way you could. Even if your attempts would be fruitless in the end.

You spent the next two hours diligently embroidering new robes and fixing old ones where the fabric was too worn. Unpleasant thoughts of varying degrees of intrusiveness kept popping into your head, but you studiously ignored them. Their content was something like “To be or not to be”, only your option was “To stay or not to stay”.

After you finished your work, you picked up a pile of robes and went to turn them in to the storekeeper. The temple was beautiful, even to your unassuming eye. The entire continent worshiped the Creator who made the world and the gods they created to help look after the people. In fact, you remembered from the book that the mythology of Evan's world was very interesting. Incredibly written and detailed lore describing events from ancient times to the present day. Some of the knowledge you had already forgotten, but for example you remembered that the Irin continent, where the main story took place, was named after the god's favorite angel.

The central temple of the capital was dedicated to the Creator. Numerous frescoes on the ceiling depicted the creation of the world and the races that inhabited it. For the first week, you walked with your head up, and more than once you were on the verge of falling. The tall, graceful steles also drew attention to the care with which the flowers and leaves were molded, as if they were real and the spell had just turned them to stone a moment ago. The garden wasn't to be forgotten, you'd only been there once, but it was already completely engraved in your heart. Score one for staying. Overall to summarize the temple was beautiful, the priests friendly. So why the hell is this place of paradise run by this goddamn pervert! The Creator's eyes are blown out of their heads to let a man like that in charge of their temple? Unbearable.

Your boots thudded loudly and angrily on the marble floor, and you continued on your way. The servants and priests you encountered preferred to avoid you in a wide arc, sensing in their gut the dark and heavy aura you gave off. With the power you put into opening the door, you could shred a mountain to pieces with a single blow. Yeah, like that bald guy, that's how powerful you were at that moment. The storekeeper didn't even lift his head from the paper he was looking at. Inwardly, you marveled a little at his restraint; you yourself would have jumped on the spot if you had been rushed in with such a bang. More calmly you approached the not-young man whose most prominent feature was his giant-hooked nose.

“I brought the robes, where should I put them?” Your voice rumbles through the room.

The man nodded vaguely toward a neighboring room filled with baskets full of robes. The servants had to wash and dry the robes before handing them back to the priests. Why the freshly sewn robes had to be washed was a big question, but not of your mind. You were about to leave when you were stopped by the storekeeper.

“Go to the infirmary and get the medicine for the hero. His chambers are in the east wing of the temple on the third floor.”

During your entire stay in the room, the storekeeper didn't even look at you, and after he gave you the order, he started acting as if you weren't even here. Well, the main thing is that he didn't yell. You shrugged your shoulders and left the room.

The stone-face test was successfully passed, the die rolled on a twenty! In fact, your heart was racing, and your palms were unpleasantly sweaty. Did all this mean you would be able to see Evan? You didn't even know he'd returned. With an effort of will, you suppressed the joyful scream that burst from your mouth. You're going to see the protagonist of this damn novel. Almost dancing, you hurried toward the infirmary.

The nurse, whose name was Ellen, gave you your medication as soon as she heard that you had come from the storekeeper. The girl explained that because of the upcoming festival dedicated to the Creator, all the servants were busy preparing for the sacred rituals. Mentally, you tsked. That no servant could spare time for the precious hero of the Church? Nonsense, of course, but nonsense that plays right into your hands. Having memorized what to give and in what dosage, you headed for the eastern wing.

The corridors became more and more empty with every turn, as if you were entering a forbidden zone. The atmosphere was oppressive and growing colder with each step. A creak sounded very close to you, made you jump on the spot and freeze. It was scary to turn around. You didn't want to see the ghost behind you. On bending legs, you turned around and ….Mmm No, that's just your overactive imagination working for the bread. There was nothing behind you. Nothing in the front, either. Cussing under your breath, you continued walking. Isekai had definitely taken a toll on your nerves. Shame they hadn't invented valerian here yet.

The doors to Evan's chambers were carved, decorated with ornaments of flowers. You knocked hesitantly, and when there was no answer, you knocked again, but louder. Maybe he was asleep? What was to be done? The nurse had said the medication had to be timed to avoid making him feel worse. The doorknob in your hand felt like a ticket to heaven or hell. Praying in your mind to who you didn't know, you pushed it down. With a quiet click, the door opened. Like a mouse about to steal cheese, you quietly slipped through the gap and closed the door behind you. You hoped Evan wasn't a cat that would eat you for entering without permission.

The main hero's chambers were green, very green, not because the walls and furniture were that color, but because of the dozens or even hundreds of pots with various plants. As a half-elf, Evan had the ability to understand and talk to plants. For a long time in the novel, they were his only friends, listening to all his sorrows. Sighing sadly, you headed for the door behind, which was presumably the bedroom.

Evan lay on the bed, resting peacefully, deep in sleep. The blanket lay in a bunched pile at the half elf's feet. His complexion was very pale with blue veins clearly visible, there were deep bruises under his eyes, and his breathing was intermittent and heavy. Despite this, he was still more handsome than the sleeping beauty herself. If you thought the comparison was inappropriate, just never mind. On tiptoe, you moved closer and leaned over the sleeping hero. Handsome. You especially liked the way his leafy green hair curled around his pointy ears. You wanted to catch one strand between your fingers and then watch it curl back. You weren't weird. Not at all.

You put the tray of medicine on the bedside table with a little more clatter than you'd like, but Evan didn't wake up, thankfully. The half elf's forehead was scalding hot, and you jerked your hand away quickly. Looking around, you spotted a basin of water on the other side of the room and quickly soaked the rag you'd grabbed from the tray before placing it on Evan's forehead. That's better. Satisfied, you smiled to yourself.

The question of how to medicate the unconscious hero was still open. You frankly didn't want to wake him up. You remembered from the book that Evan's condition was extremely serious, and he didn't come to his senses at all. Rest is the best medicine. It's better if you quietly do your business and leave, and he won't even know you're in his chambers. Shit, that sounded like some kind of thief.

Pass the cure with a kiss? You shook your head frantically as soon as the thought crossed your mind. God, you'd read too many romance novels. Conscience and morality would never allow you to violate Evan's personal boundaries like that, considering how they'd already been violated by the high priest. Besides, it would be despicable to do that to any person.

But then what were you supposed to do? You'd just have to pour the drugs into Evan's mouth and hope he didn't choke. That's about what you did, luckily without becoming a hero killer. Now comes the most difficult and embarrassing part. Ellen gave you an ointment to rub into the half elf's chest. The medical reasons behind this you almost completely missed, and you only had to take on faith the necessity of this action. Evan wouldn't like it if someone he didn't know undressed him and started performing medical procedures on him. Right? So something had to be done about it.

One of the scraps of fabric Ellen put on the tray caught your eye. It's perfect. You'll pretend to be a butler, covering your eyes with a strip of fabric so as not to embarrass your mistress. Master. You mean Evan. Quickly and tightly tying the band, you found yourself in darkness. With suddenly trembling hands you fumbled for the collar of the half elf's shirt and from it, you easily reached the buttons. Normally you would have easily done it in less than a minute, but now deprived of sight and incredibly embarrassed; each of your actions was stretched to the point of impossibility. After an eternity according to your internal clock, you finally managed this undeniably difficult task.

So it was time for the ointment, which was as green as you remembered and smelled like bumps or something else freshly herbal. Incredibly embarrassed by your own actions, you rubbed the ointment in as fast as you could without lingering on any part of Evan's skin. What's a stupid trail? A relieved exhale escaped you when this torture finally stopped. Ellen had said the ointment should absorb very quickly, literally in less than a minute, and in your head you drummed your fingers on your thigh, ticking off the seconds. When the time was up, you hoped for it towards the end you began to speed up the count, with all care you covered Evan with the blanket. The nurse had said the fever would go down very quickly, which meant the half elf could get cold.

And so it was done! Now you could leave with a clear conscience. You pulled the bandage off your eyes, blinked in the light, and hurriedly picked up the tray, leaving the room. Before you passed through the doorway, you took one last look at Evan, still sleeping peacefully. Handsome even when he's sick. Nodding affirmatively at that thought, you headed back to the infirmary to return the medication to the nurse.

***

Evan woke up when someone started undoing the buttons of his sleeping shirt. His first thought was that it was Donavan, so the only thing he could do was lie there and not fight back. Was he sick of his powerlessness? So sick that he wanted to open his chest with his hands and rip out his damn heart, which sometimes allowed itself to hope for the best. The half elf left his eyes closed, not wanting to look at the high priest's ugly face, twisted with desire. He could still visualize it all too well, anyway. A convulsion shot through his arm and he clawed his fingers into the sheets, his nails almost tearing the fabric.

Halfway through the unbuttoning, Evan suddenly realized that the fingers that sometimes grazed his skin were different from Donovan's skinny, knotted fingers, the pads of which were covered with calluses. In addition, a strange chill spread from his forehead down his body. Was it the damp cloth? It was only because of the two factors above that he actually opened his eyes and saw you. The snort that almost came out of his mouth, he held back with an incredible effort of will. A blindfold? It was ridiculous, even more ridiculous than the mix of slime deer and owl he'd met in the swamp. Ridiculous but oddly cute. The mere thought that he might be uncomfortable being stared at half-naked had never occurred to anyone. With already great interest and friendliness, he began to consider your appearance.

When you reached for the green jar, he recognized it as an antipyretic. A spark of realization lit him up, and Evan bit his lip. He was ready for the feeling of a thousand little insects crawling under his skin, but your touch didn't disgust him. Evan blinked perplexedly when he realized this. Short and medically detached, your touch was devoid of any lust. Noticing your fingers trembling, Evan concluded that at the very least you were awkward. Later his guess was confirmed by your tapping on your thigh, too uneven and often out of rhythm to be a sign of boredom or impatience. The blanket you covered him with forced him to smile slightly. A display of simple human caring that he had always been deprived of. The thought made him feel unpleasantly empty inside.

When your fingers reached for the bandage, Evan closed his eyes as quickly as possible, not even knowing why. He didn't have an answer to that question. Listening to the quiet rustling of the fabric of your clothes and the tinkling of the medicine on the tray made his heart feel lighter for some reason. It was as if you were not a randomly sent servant, but someone close to him who genuinely cared about him.

The creak of the door alerted him to your departure, but with his keen hearing, he could still hear your footsteps outside his chambers. As soon as they were gone, Evan sat up on the bed, causing the cloth on his forehead to fall down. Silently, he twirled it in his hands. His head felt strangely empty. Perhaps the only question that bothered him now was; who are you? Meeting you had irrevocably changed something in him, as if he had been a broken clock just now starting to run.

Evan rolled back over, sinking into the soft mattress, and returned the cloth to his forehead. The next time you two meet, once he's recovered enough to walk, he'll be sure to ask your name. With that thought, his exhausted mind took to its realm of Morpheus.

Reblogs, comments, are always greatly appreciated! ヽ(o^ ^o)ﾉ

#silwernight writes #my oc evan #yandere elf #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere #yandere hero #yandere x you #yandere x darling

71 notes · View notes

cabi-leodrann · 1 month ago

Note

Cabi! Big fan Joffrey here!

I wanted to ask, every time I see your art not only am I stunned by the quality, but also by the sheer uniqueness in style and character design. I've never seen a lamb designed quite like yours, it's so perfectly yours. What went into the inspiration behind the characters design, especially facially? Did you try and mimick a real lamb, or was there a more fantasy-element that you veered toward?

I can't specifically put my finger on it, but it gives me vague Warframe vibes. It's such a beautifully odd design and I can't get enough.

Love your work, love everything you do, can't wait to see what's next!

Hope you're well, stay safe, take care!

First of all, your ask is one of the biggest compliments I ever had in my life, I will keep it forever. You're an absolute chad! Second of all, those are very interesting questions, and I will be very happy to answer to them!

It started more or less with this drawing I made *look at the date* 2 years ago apparently. Way before I even thought of an AU- I didn't had much in mind, beside doing something that looked cool tbh.

I was very happy with the flow of it, and how it came out. And when I drew the Lamb again, I would try to nail THIS design.

The thing is, with time, I had a really big problem: Lamb looked way too young when I thought of them more as an adult. I had too much of the original game design guiding me, making a Lamb that was too cute and childlike for what I wanted. (And also, the head did not go well with the rest of the body holy shi-)

Came those drawings! I was happier with the look, Lamb was older! And I found the colored design quit nice! (I used a sheep picture as reference, but I don't think I used it well, compared to now. I used the reference for details, when I should have gone for overall shape first.) I still wanted something simpler to draw tho. The colored design was nice for an illustration, a one time gig, but I got pretty annoyed pretty fast at trying to nail the face every time. And from those attempt, you get the sketches on the right. (I also wanted to get away from other artiste's interpretation of Lamb, and at the time of those drawing, I didn't felt like I was away enough)

From those previous sketches, the idea for THaB started to emerge. I also still had problem with Lamb's design. Especially the hair. I was inspired by black hair, which is usually not a problem, but I was never happy with how it looked on Lamb specifically. I can draw black hair, I can draw black characters, but this mother-fucker would never feel satisfying to draw or finish 👀

And one day, as THaB was solidifying in my mind, I made a series of sketches that I posted! And one of them was the most important in Lamb's final design. This lil guy! (this design didn't came out of nowhere tho, Lamb was evolving into this as I kept trying. But I wont show those sketches, because those are spoilers =3)

And soon after, I made a comic that was supposed to only be a one shot, just a POV of Lamb and there reaction to Nari' telling them to die for him. But you know, things got out of hand lol

As I continued the comic and doodles on the side, I finally made myself a reference board, with real life images that were close to the vibe of this head drawing. (And I cannot stress enough how those references solidified Lamb's design as a whole. Draw with references, it is life changing. The more reference you get, the more your visual library will get diverse, and the more interesting detail and shape you will add to your art in general.) (I'd also add this: understand what you are drawing, make research and stay curious for every bit of info on everything. You never know when these nuggets of knowledge will help you as you create)

As I kept drawing the Lamb, they evolved! Things changed, slowly, like the shape of the nose, the shape of the eyes, how the hair flowed. You see those change at the face, but also on the body! As the idea of THaB's Lamb got clearer, the design got more specific. (I also got better at drawing! This comic make me draw way more often then before, and it shows)

Something before I finish: the other Cult of the Lamb character's design are way more inspired by their animals, when Lamb is more in the human spectrum. I thought of changing Lamb at some point, to make it fair/coherent, but I loved the design too much to change it again. This AU is something I do for fun, and even if it would have been more logical to change them... I don't want to-

As for the vague Warframe vibes: I play the game! And I found the character design absolutely stunning. So I am definitely influenced by the game without knowing it lol

Thank you very much, again, for your kind words! I also wish you the best, and see you next post =D

TL;DR: Lamb design, at first, wasn't inspired by much, beside the game and my style at the time. But as I retried to make them, added more intent, they got more refined. What really nailed the idea was to have real life references on the side.

#cabi ask #long post #cotl lamb #this took a lot of time to write holy shit #but it made me take a look at older drawing and made me realise how much I got better in 2 years #so it was worth it #and again Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

64 notes · View notes

reveriememory · 3 months ago

Text

⭐️ °. • Thank You Neil • .° ⭐️

I pushed myself to finish this in time, and I did! I met Neil, and gave him a physical copy. Till this day, I just freak out when I remember… I really admire him! I’ll talk about that and this art piece after the Read More if you’d like to hear about that.

This art piece started in October, last year as an Astarion fan piece, but overtime I realized I wanted to do something more meaningful. I’ve known of Neil since DBH, so why not create something for him? So I added in Neil, and then I left it alone for months. Didn’t really think anything of it since usually all my art follows this treatment. I focus on it for a whole two weeks and then it fades into the background. However, I got word that Neil was coming to my area, and that’s when I started freaking out. Like, oh my god, I need to finish this… can I give this to him? I’ve never gone to a convention before… what am I gonna do?

So I kept debating to finish this, because I didn’t know what was allowed, and if I could even finish in time, how would I even print this? I mean, I can just finish it at my own pace and tag him or something. In the end, I decided that it’s more important to me to get it to him in person, that way I can also get my copy signed. I had to plan this all out, and long story short, I rushed it in a week. I pulled two all-nighters, and just REALLY rushed on poor Gavin in the background. Gavin was actually a last minute decision! I would’ve added Kamski, but he’s literally just a face copy of Neil so I decided against that, and Gavin was the close second. The reason I chose DBH was because that’s where I first discovered Neil. I was a fan of this game when it first released. Heisenberg was another option, but I never got to his part of the game so I felt it wasn’t a good pick since I was going under personal limitations. Not to mention, really low on time. However, I added some references on the wall, specifically the ones where it was games that I had played! I could’ve added more, but again- time. I drew them in a motion capture studio, because I envision Neil practicing and performing with the characters he had worked on. I just felt like It was a cute little idea, and I admire Neil for his motion capture the most. It’s something I’m trying to get into, or some form of it at least.

Then. The Day.

AHHHHHH. I was starstruck. I’m just going to sum it up and talk about this specific moment. I’m next in line and I just blurt out, “I’m trying really hard not to get starstruck!” But I’m already shaky and half my memory gone. I was so anxious, trying to get through the moment that I didn’t really get to enjoy the moment, but man, am I still happy. I tell him about the piece and he’s like oh, what have you been working on? The drawing got jammed in its protector, so I was just struggling with it. “OH, sorry, it’s stuck!” And he thankfully found it funny. Gave it to him, got my copy signed and perfect. But AHHHH, I’m anxious right? I ask him if he could sign the back of it, because I was worried I’d cringe at the piece in the future. I normally don’t call my art cringe but why, why was I THAT honest—

He’s so quick to reply, super sweet man, just tells me no, don’t cringe. He also asked me about my focus in motion capture, but that’s another post for another day. I have something in the works for that!

Look, in my defense! I RUSHED the piece, so I knew I’d get a bit irritated in the future seeing my art and knowing I had the time to really do a beautiful job! I just meant that knowing how much potential I had, had I taken advantage of that, it would have turned out so much… not better, but to my liking. I’m content, considering the limitations, but… y’know? Anyways, I still wanted to look at his signature and proudly display that, like aye, I got to meet him!

Considering that I rarely draw real people, I’m definitely proud with how Neil turned out. Just like Neil told me, and many others, can’t be too harsh with myself. When working on this, I was super excited and actually thrived while working on it. Yes, under pressure, but dedicated. I can’t remember the last time I ever fixated on an art piece like this. With that said, I definitely want to try again in the future and get better at drawing semi-realism. And Neil is coming back to my area next year so… ideas.

Anyways, thank you for reading my little journal entry! Back to work I go~

59 notes · View notes

scarletwinterxx · 10 months ago

Text

your beginning and middle and end - mark lee imagine

hello🥺 sooo this one is a bit longer than my usual posts. think of it as a valentine special. i loved writing this one, i hope you like it too🤍

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

FEBRUARY 09, 10AM

"That's the fourth date you declined, girl valentines is around the corner" Yun-jin tells you the moment the other guy walked away

"Genuine question, do I need a guy to celebrate it or do I even need to celebrate it?"

"If Valentines has a version of the grinch it would be you"

You laugh at her statement, reading over the small note that was given to you along with a single rose. It was cute, you appreciate the thought but you really didn't want to go out with the dude. You'd rather let them down now than pretend to have fun during a date.

"It's just not my thing" you tell her

"Then what's your thing? Tell me and I will personally look for him"

Looks like luck is on your side because you spot the big clock behind her, your next class about to start.

"Once I know, I'll tell you. I'm gonna be late. Bye" you gather your stuff and rushed out the hall, you can hear her protests making you laugh on your way out.

When you got to your next class, the other students are just arriving. A lot of vacant seats, you choose the one in the middle. You get your notes and laptop out to skim over your notes from the last session.

"Another one?" you hear someone say from behind you making you look up

"Yep, want to read it?" you chuckle, passing the rose over to Mark.

Mark Lee, the boy you sit next to class with. You see him enough around campus to get acquainted. He's friendly, known by many, a poet by heart. And he's also well aware of the failed confessions to you.

The first time you brought a flower to class he didn't say anything, the second time he thought it was from the same person but then the third time it happened right in front of him. He witnessed how you gently turned down the poor lad who was asking you out after handing you a rose.

Mark takes his usual seat beside you before reading the note

"You and Me, on v? huh like Valentines?" he laughs, holding the little card in his hand

"I'd give it a 4 out of 10"

"Ouch, so the lowest one then. I'd say my favorite is still the one about cats" he tells you, passing the rose back to you

Do you like cats? Because I’d like you to take meowt

You remember that one too. You thought it was cringey, but Mark smiled when he read it. You even let him keep the card.

"Do you still have it?" you ask "The card? Oh yea, I drew like little cats all over it. I'm sure it's somewhere in my bag"

"Why? Planning to use it on someone?"

"Yeah right, I think I'd have a bit more game than that" he jokes

"Ha, we'll see about that" you snorted. Missing the way Mark is looking at you with small grin on his face. Trying to be as inconspicuous as he could be.

The two of you might be on good terms but he wouldn't put it past you to reject him too. Since he got to know you, one thing he learned about you is that you're always so sure of yourself. To you, no is a full sentence. You like what you like and say no to what you don't. You're unapologetically you and he likes that.

He's not sure yet whether he likes you or likes you.

"Earth to Mark?" you wave your hand in front of his face, making him break out of his thoughts

"Lost you there, where'd you go" you joke

"Was just thinking about this paper I have due on Tuesday" he says, it's not a total lie. He does have a paper he needs to finish before Valentines day.

"Need help? I have a few works to catch up on too"

"You don't have plans?" he asks, it's like asking if you have a date on Valentines without asking if you have a date on Valentines day.

"Not really no, and if I'm being honest I heard this guy planning to ask about dinner and I'd rather not..."

"Am I... the getaway car?" You chuckle at his question

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but if I could avoid it I would. So library or the cafe near campus?"

He looks at you like he's weighing his options, playfully hitting him on the arm making the guy laugh "Cafe it is, I'll see you there?" he says

"It's a date" you grin at him

FEBRUARY 12, 11AM

"It's not"

"You said she said it was" Jungwoo says, looking at Mark who is currently trying to find something to wear. After that little moment with you, Mark made sure to clear up his schedule for that day. Ofcourse Jungwoo being the nosy bestfriend didn't let it pass without making Mark tell the whole story.

"Also if this wasn't a date, why are you freaking out about what to wear? You're just going to study, are you going to study her?"

Mark throws the hoodie at Jungwoo's face before looking through his closet again, "Maybe it was just a slip of tongue. It's Y/N, she rejects everyone who asks her out" Mark says while his head is buried deep in his closet

Jungwoo rolls his eyes at his bestfriend, Mark swears he doesn't like you like that and yet here he is. He only met you a couple of time, Mark introduced you before when he went to give Mark a book he forgot to bring.

"I can think of something else you want her tongue to slip in" he mumbles, "Shut up, don't talk about her like that" Mark stands up straight, looking at the other guy. Jungwoo holds his hands up, "Sorry"

Mark gives him another glare before getting a hoodie inside his closet, "Whatever, I'll just wear this. Should I bring an extra one just in case?"

"Just in case what? You spill something?" Jungwoo jokes

In case she gets cold, Mark thinks to himself.

"Just cause" Mark grumbles, walking back to his closet to get another hoodie then stuffing it inside his backpack.

"You're going to be late, go have fun at your not a date date"

About an hour after that, Mark is waiting for you at the cafe. He got there first and sent you a quick text. After a few minutes, the door chimed making Mark look up.

And that's when you walk in, a bouquet of blue tulips in your grasp. You look around, quickly spotting Mark. You make your way towards him, Mark stands up to pull the chair out for you. Saying a quick thank you then you set your stuff down.

"Sorry I'm late"

"Nah, I'm just early" he tells you, "You uh the guy caught you?" he jokes, pointing at flowers

"Oh these? No, I got them actually like I bought it this morning. Yun-jin forgot to buy milk so I had to go out this morning then I saw these. Here" then you're handing the flowers over to him

When you notice the confused look on his face, you giggle. This made Mark look more confused at what's happening, "What? No one ever gave you flowers?" you joke

"No, it's suppose to be the other way 'round?" he asks but accepts it nonetheless

You shrug, getting your stuff out

"I don't like flowers, main reason why I always say no to those dudes. I appreciate the effort, I do but it's not my style. But I remember you said these are your favorite during our class introductions, so I got them for you" you smile at him, he smiles back.

"Thanks, no like really thank you" he says, this made you chuckle finding the situation cute.

"Okay, back to business. I do have like three agendas to finish today" you tell him, gesturing at the small stack of papers on the table

"I'll buy you a chocolate cupcake if you finish it all" he offers, your face lighting up at the mention of the sweet treat. Mark also remembers something about you during that class intro.

Actually he remembers everything about you and that day. The professor asked everyone to say their name along with two random facts about themselves.

"Hi everyone my name is Y/N, I love chocolate cupcakes and I can recite the graduation speech from Twilight"

That earned a few laughs from the class, and from him. You really did leave an impression on him. As days, weeks and months passed by the two of you got acquainted.

If someone asks (mainly Jungwoo) Mark when was the exact moment he felt different about you, he can't pinpoint the exact moment. It just sort of happened for him. Maybe from all the small gestures you unknowingly do, or how it's easy to talk to you. You just get him.

"Can you make it two?" tilting your head to the side for effect, making Mark laugh and nod his head "You got it"

A few hours later, and a few cups of coffee the two of you finally finish. Mark actually finished his paper an hour ago but you weren't done with the last module you had to do,

"Are you done? Am I making you wait?" you ask, noticing he stopped doing anything and was just looking at you

"Huh? Oh uh yea, but don't worry about it. I can wait" he tells you with a smile

"You sure? I'm almost done"

"Don't rush it, I'll still buy you the cupcakes" he tells you, you shoot him a smile before going back to work. Meanwhile Mark goes to the front of the store to get you your cupcakes.

You didn't even notice he stood up, focusing on saving the file before sending the final file to your professor.

"And done! Mark?" you look up only to find the seat infront of you empty. You spot him over the counter, choosing to wait and tidy your things in the mean time.

"Hey, you done?" he asks when he got back to your table

"Mhm, finally. Sorry for taking up your whole afternoon"

"No worries, I finished my work too and I enjoyed your company. And as promised, here's your cupcakes" Mark then opens the box, he might as well presented you with a pot of gold with the way you're grinning from ear to ear. Your joy radiating, making him smile too.

"For me?" you asked, he nods his head

"These are the chocolate ones, I got two. The others are their best sellers, then this one I just thought you might like" he points at the cupcake with heart sprinkles on it.

You laugh, getting the box from him "Okay fine, I believe you. You definitely how to make a girl say yes"

He shakes his head, suddenly feeling shy "Believe me I'm not an expert when it comes to girls" he mumbles

"No, but you got this type of vibe about you you know" you tell him, getting one cupcake from the box

"What vibe?"

"You know like someone could've been in love with you for ten years without you knowing, a classic case of unrequited love but not in a mean way you just don't really know. It's the way you see the world, it's always nice, forgiving, full of chances. You see meaning even in little things. You got this boyish charm about you, the kind that girls would pick over their fictional boyfriends. You're better than any guy written by anyone" you tell him not noticing the way he's just staring at you

"I follow you on your socials, it's cute when you take pictures of the moon or the sky. Makes me remember to take a breath and be in the moment every once in a while"

He don't say anything, still processing what you said. He has never heard himself be described that way, atleast not to his face but he doubts anyone can be as eloquent as you.

"Can I ask you something?" he finally finds his voice, you nod at him

"Why do you say no to all the boys who ask you out? besides the cringey one liners and flowers"

You chuckle, "Because I know me. All of them would've just ended one way or another. I know what I want, what I like. I like a guy I can have an actual conversation with from philosophical point of views to something so random. Someone that makes it feel easy to talk and listen to"

"Do you know how hard it is to control my expression when I'm in public? Yun-jin said my face is too judgy" you jokingly add "I'm an open book if you know how to read it exactly, if that makes sense"

"No, I totally get it. You're not complicated or hard to get, they just don't know how to. You deserve more effort than that" he tells you

"See, that's what I'm talking about. If you keep on doing that I'm gonna be the one asking you out" you tease him, the guy across you laughing. Trying to hide his blushing cheeks and fluttering heart.

The two of you talked some more before he offered to walk you home. It's almost sunset when Mark got back to his place,

"And he's back, how was the date?" Jungwoo shouts from somewhere inside. Mark spots him lounging on the couch, taking a seat beside him with the bouquet of flowers on his lap

"You got rejected too?" Jungwoo asks and Mark just shakes head

"Did you forget to give it? Got too shy? I'm pretty sure you're suppose to give it to the girl not take it back home"

"I didn't get it, I mean I got it but I got it from her. She bought me these" Mark clarifies, taking the bouquet to look at it again,

Jungwoo looks back and forth between Mark and the flowers, "Let me get this straight, the girl whose notorious for turning down guys who gives her flowers gave you flowers on your not a date date?"

Mark just stares back at his bestfriend because honestly it doesn't make sense to him too.

"Homegirl got more game than you" Jungwoo says with a chuckle

"She said she remembered I said these were my favorite. I mentioned it once during freshmen orientation week and she remembered"

"Oh my god, he's in love" Jungwoo laughs

"And you know, I gave her cupcakes and she got so happy I actually thought about signing up for baking classes" Mark grumbles, setting the flowers on the coffee table before taking a thrown pillow to bury his face in.

Jungwoo watches his bestfriend realized what he's known for a while now. Mark likes you. He just never said it. It's Mark. He thinks everyone is nice, most time he overlooks the nice gestures of other girls to him thinking it's normal when in reality they were trying to get his attention.

"Oh. This must be serious then. You don't even know how to cook"

"Yeah I know! Like I know I like her, I didn't know I like her." it felt surreal finally admitting it out loud.

"So you do like her? like like her"

"I think?"

"It's a yes or no"

"No, I don't"

"You got him flowers"

Meanwhile back at your dorm, Yun-jin is also interrogating you. You just finished giving her a recap of your day, she was half listening half watching her show when you suddenly mentioned you got flowers for Mark

"Just because I got him flowers don't mean I like him, I just remembered it was his favorite" you shrug, trying to not make a big deal out of it.

"What's my favorite flower?" she asks, you blink back at her coming up with a blank answer

"See! Oh my gosh, my baby girl is growing up" she dramatically hugs you

"Was that weird? That I gave him flowers?"

"No, it's the 21st century. Guys can get flowers too"

"He got me cupcakes too" you mumble, looking at the box on the table.

Yun-jin watches you, smiling to herself. She's with you twenty four seven and she's never seen you like this. There are a few times she's seen you on campus with Mark, you always smile whenever he's around. Choosing not to push further, she gives the topic a rest and changing it to something else

"So what are you doing for valentines? because if you're free I know this dude who's free also-" "Actually Mark and I are hanging out again" you cut her off

"You're spending valentines with Mark?"

"Yea, so uhm actually I'm gonna call it a night. I have classes in the morning, we're meeting again around lunch. Night" then you're making a beeline towards your bedroom.

FEBRUARY 14, 10AM

Come Valentines day. Yun-jin thinks you're out with Mark while the boy is completely unaware he's being mentioned.

Choosing a place you know Yun-jin won't find you, you stayed at the farthest lounge area after class. Most students won't even walk all the way here since it's a long way going back and forth.

Finding a spot to sit on, you spot someone sitting alone on one the benches

"Mark?"

The boy looks up, immediately smiling when he sees it's you

"Hey, you. What are you doing here?" he asks, getting his stuff from the seat beside him to make room for you. Putting your stuff on the table before taking the seat beside him

"I just finished for the day, and currently hiding from Yun-jin"

He chuckles, "Why?"

"She's trying to set me up with a blind date so I pretended I had plans" leaving out the part he was mentioned

"You don't have plans?" he asks, giving himself a pat on the back for not sounding too nervous

You shake your head, "I have something to say though, I might have told her I had plans... with you"

Mark just looks at you, feeling shy under his gaze you look away.

"With me?"

"Yea, sorry. You don't have to stay though if you have plans don't worry about it. Go enjoy your valentines day" you told him a bit too energetic than you intended.

Then he smiles, Mark smiles at you like he's keeping a secret he can't wait to tell.

"What?"

"I don't have plans, I was going to ask if you had plans yesterday but I didn't want to overstep"

"What do you mean? You're just asking" you smile back at him, "Did you think I was going to say no like always? Oh my gosh I swear I'm not as heartless. I wasn't-"

"No no no, of course I didn't think that. I mean I don't think you're heartless" he pauses to collect his thought because right now words are flying out faster than he can think of them.

And if he got one chance at this, he'll make sure to do it right the first time.

Then you start speaking again, surprising Mark once again with your words

"Yun-jin said I smile a lot when I'm with you, now that I think about it I think I do. It's just you're easy to be with, and I feel relaxed like I can talk to you about anything and you listen. It's also so fun to listen to your stories, especially when you get this animated look on your face. And when you laugh before you can even say the joke. Am I rambling, sorry I'm rambling"

He takes your hand, holding it in his. Testing the waters to see how you'll react. When you don't pull away, he gets a card out from his notebook. Then he hands it over to you,

Today we are obliged to be romantic And think of yet another Valentine. We know the rules, and we are both pedantic. Today’s the day we have to be romantic. Our love is old and sure, not new and frantic. You know I’m yours, and I know you are mine. And saying that has made me feel romantic, My dearest love, my darling valentine.

You read the note carefully, a smile slowly forming on your face while Mark watches you. When the thinks you finish it, he speaks up

"I read that, and I thought about you. You're worth more than a one liner, more than a single flower. You deserve poems to be written about you, gardens to walk through with the prettiest flowers"

You playfully hit him, reading the card again before putting it in your bag for safe keeping

"I love it, thank you. Now I feel bad I got you nothing"

"It's okay, I didn't even know I was going to give it to you. I was ready to just hide it in my bag for the rest of time" he admits

"Why? It's so nice though"

"Yea but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable"

"I appreciate it really. Out of all the notes I received, I'll keep this one"

At that he smiles.

Like how the story began, with one liner notes and a single flower, who knew you'd find a friend and now something more. Mark is someone you didn't expect you'd have something romantic with especially since you're not really looking for it but it makes sense that you'd end up with him. He makes your days brighter, it's like he bring everything that is good into your world.

When you said he's the kind of guy who beats every fictional character, it's true because he gave you something better than a fairytale; a reality worth living in.

And yes spoiler, you do end up with him. The story ends with you and him. Spending all of your valentines together.

end.

#fic #story #tags #nct #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct au #nct fluff #nct boyfriend #nct mark #mark lee #mark lee fluff #mark lee scenario #mark lee oneshot #mark lee imagine

148 notes · View notes

pixelatedraindrops · 10 months ago

Text

RAINCODE COMIC COLLAB~☔️

BEHOLD THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR!!

3 full weeks of work and its finally completed!

So @kazinsblog and I did another raincode art collab together but this one was a HUGE project! This one's a full 18 page comic!

Idk if you all remember the comic idea that Kazin was planning to do that involved Yuma overworking himself until he gets sick and then gets tended to by everyone else. But when I saw it, I decided to ask her if she was willing to possibly collaborate on it, remaking it where she sketched it and I colored it.

Kazin's Beta images: 1 2 3 4

So here's the results of all that work. We've been at this since December 17th so this has been an almost full month collaboration. And of course mine's a bit more altered to my own style as well as adding my own touches and making it a little more whumpy/extreme... X'D I also freehand drew shinigami in my version as well.

Both our versions look pretty different! The only thing that are the same are the poses. So feel free to check out Kazin's traditional version as well!

Since its an 18 page comic, I decided to put it under a keep reading so it won't clutter everyone's timelines. Also, I will be narrating the pages because I love narrating sick filler type stories. So brace yourself for a VERY LOOONG post!! Def need time to read this one! (and no purple tinted filters here this time!)

Also note: If the writing is blue, it means the character is thinking, just like in the game! :)

And I apologize on the inconsistency of Yuma's bangs... I thought it was one way before so half of the comic he looks like he has square bangs... oof XD I fix it around page 10

ANYWAY, hope you enjoy this soft buffet, Raincode Community! 🌡️💕

(Page 1)

Our story begins on an ordinary day in Kanai Ward. Rainy gloomy and depressing as ever. Our little victim... wait... XD I mean protagonist Yuma decides to go out to investigate more about Kanai Ward to try to track down it's supposed ultimate secret. Yakou sets him off wishes him well and tells him to be careful. However, as he's out, he finds out a lot of people in the city need help. Because of his good nature and unable to turn down someone in need, he decides to help whoever he can. (the ultimate side-questing lol) Before he knows it, he's soaking wet and he had helped 10 people in total. Time passed and it was almost evening so he returns to the submarine. Yuma was completely unphased by this. (and he didn't dry himself off for 4 hours due to being occupied with tasks)

(Page 2)

Yuma returns to the Agency's submarine to greet his chief holding his meatbun order. (that also got wet) But Yakou notices that the trainee is sopping wet to the core and shivering. He immediately loudly demands that he sit down so he can tend to him. Yuma does as he's told and sits on the checkered sofa. Yakou rushes to the shower room to grab some small towels to help him dry off. But because Yakou is so panicked, he ends up being very rough in drying Yuma, pulling his hair and causing the small boy pain. After he dries him off, he tells Yuma he isn't allowed to leave anymore for the rest of the day and demands him to rest. Yuma tries to retaliate using puppy eyes, but it doesn't work. Yakou is immune.

(Page 3)

The next day Yuma asks Yakou if he can go out to work after he finishes his morning chores around the place looking very eager. Yakou still looks a little concerned by how tired Yuma looks, so he tells him to not go out alone. He assigns him a partner to go with the rest of the week.

On the first day he's paired with Halara. The two of them are asked to investigate the art gallery of Ginma. (maybe after the nail man case) But over time, Yuma starts developing a lingering cough that persists for quite some time. Halara asks Yuma is he's okay, to which Yuma lies saying that it's due to the dust of the room. But of course being sharp, Halara isn't buying it. But they decide to not persist him further.

On the second day, he's paired with Desuhiko. They're asked to go help out at the Aetheria Academy with another case (not murder related this time) However on the way to the school and in Ginma, Yuma starts slowing down, he's shaking and is a little wobbly. Desuhiko notices this and asks if he wants to go to the cafe for a drink. Yuma nods and as they go to the cafe and order some coffee, Yuma takes off his hat and coat and Desuhiko finally realizes how pale he looks. He's even slower at replying to him as he speaks, as if he's in a daze. Desuhiko decides to take Yuma back to the agency after this.

(Page 4)

On Day three, he's paired with Fubuki. But he doesn't even make it to the case as when he goes to the sun and moon hotel to meet with her, Fubuki notices and points out that Yuma's face looks red. The boy clearly had a fever building. Yuma argues with her but Fubuki persists. The two of them try to go to the case but Yuma nearly collapses. So Fubuki returns him to the agency.

On the fourth day where he's supposed to be paired with Vivia he spends a majority of the day passed out. Vivia decides to watch over him using his forte to not disturb him. During the night while he's asleep, his breathing gets more labored and he's completely restless. Vivia looks at him deeply worried for his dear friend's well being.

The next morning Yuma somehow finds the strength to get himself up. Maybe that one day of rest was enough. But Yakou insists that he stays put today. Angrily yelling at him to be still and take today off as well.

Meanwhile, a certain two seem to notice each other...

(Page 5)

Vivia's spirit notices Shinigami and decides to give her a warning. Make sure Yuma listens to Yakou and doesn't leave. Giving her the iciest glare, Shinigami fearfully agrees.

But this effort would be for naught, despite how he feels, Yuma's relentless determination forces himself up, putting on his rain attire and heads up the steps of the sub to the outside when Yakou isn't looking. Shinigami does what she can to stop him, but he doesn't listen...and Shinigami being a ghost, there was nothing she could do to physically hold him back. All she could do was follow, and prepare for the inevitable.

By some miracle he makes it to the church, up the stairs to speak to the nun. Who tells him to play therapy again for the townsfolk. He nods and heads to his first client. But when he returns to kamasaki to speak to him, he can barely make out what he's saying as he lets out a few more coughs.

Once he leaves the client, before long, Yuma could hear something in his body snap.

(Note: I direct most of the story, but Vivia conversing with Shinigami in spirit mode was actually Kazin's idea! So credit to her for that, So silly and fun! ^^)

(Page 6)

Yuma's body had finally reached it's limit. All the fatigue, chills and body aches had hit him all at once at full force like armed weaponry. His head began throbbing, he was shaking violently and uncontrollably, he felt nauseated by the rain's smell, and his body heat and the lingering dizziness was unbearable. He found a safe corner in the alleyway of Kamasaki to collapse. Telling Shinigami she was right and he should have listened to her, while the burning fever and cold rain wrecked his delicate frame even further. His voice was hardly audible, but Shinigami still heard and practically tells him to go back. But Yuma had no strength left...

Then like clockwork as they finish speaking, he could hear his name called. At first it sounded kind and questionable. But that rapidly changed, the voice now angrily yelling out his full name. As he looked up this voice belonged to...Yakou. He looks down at the boy in pure disappointment and anger.

Turns out a certain someone was tailing him. And alerted Yakou what happened just in time.

(Note: I make the red darker the more extreme the temperature and lighter the less extreme. I got to experiment with all sorts of new ways to color fevers hehe~ >w<)

(Page 7)

Yuma shockingly looks up at Yakou. Oh no, he was so BUSTED! Shinigami even says as much. Yakou practically scoops Yuma in his arms carrying him back to the agency. As he was lifted Yuma's world begun spinning. He could barely hear the chief nagging him in a panicked tone. It was all distorted and it was making his head hurt more. Yakou placed a hand to his cheek and was shocked by how hot it felt. All Yuma could do was apologize and hope his world stops spinning and that Yakou eventually stops yelling... (also I put numbers for the order to read the speech bubbles in)

Upon returning to the agency, Yakou dries Yuma off, asks Desuhiko to give him a warm set of clothes to borrow and put him to his own bed. Grabbing a basin of very cold water, washcloths and a digital thermometer. He placed one of the wet cold cloths under his bangs and upon reading the boy's temperature, it was high. Almost high enough to visit the ER. Yakou was even more mad, but speaks in a non yelling tone. Giving Yuma another stern warning to not leave the bed. To which Yuma weakly agrees to.

But Yakou's back to yelling again, feeling paranoid Yuma would be missing by the time he gets back from getting the supplies. So he drills that message right into the boy's already throbbing head once more. Everyone else in the office awkwardly listen in as the sick trainee gets scolded.

(Note: Just an FYI, Yuma's speech bubbles being wavy is a sign his voice is raspy and the text being a bit hard to read means his voice is hardly audible)

(Page 8)

Yakou leaves Yuma alone and walks into the office in his raincoat telling the other detectives that he'll be leaving soon and to watch over Yuma in his absence and NOT let him leave. He is so full of anger and anxiety that he yells at all of them too.

Everyone agrees and as Yakou leaves, they all discuss among themselves Yuma's state the days they were partners with him. He was in bad shape. And he only got worse as the days went by. They all knew.

(Page 9)

Meanwhile back in Yakou's quarters, Yuma was getting lectured yet again. This time by his death god partner, Shinigami. The poor trainee only wanted peace and quiet to make the pain in his head go away, using what little energy he has remaining speaking in his head he tried telling her to stop.

But the aggravated spirit persisted, saying that as his mentor she had the right to scold him just as much as Yakou. She continued her rant, until an abrupt sound from her master shut her up.

The few coughs that came from Yuma eventually erupted into a full blown coughing fit. The coughs sounding more wet, rough and serious. After coughing 10 to 15 times in a row Yuma was exhausted. Shinigami looked down at him panting with concern and pity in her eyes. She decided to stop the lecture for his sake.

After the fit, Yuma was left raggedly breathing. As Shinigami gave him her permission to rest and take it easy, he didn't answer. He couldn't. That fit completely mangled his throat. He was not able to speak vocally or in thought process anymore due to his head being in too much pain. As was the rest of his body, aching and burning. So he didn't answer her. All he could do was hope sleep would eventually take hold of him to make all this awful heat and pain stop even if for a just moment.

(Note: That's the penalty Yuma... x'D Sorry I gotta make him suffer lol. Also this is the only page that’s actually read left to right. I messed that up, sorry!!)

(Page 10)

After some time passed it was time for the Master Detectives to all take part in taking care of Yuma. The whole agency had a day off to do this. So upon his return, Yakou instructs everyone to look after Yuma in 2 hour shifts through the day. Even if it was just to watch him sleep. He couldn't be left alone.

Halara was first. Their task was to help Yuma take the medicine that was bought. There were three types of medicine for him to take. Antibiotics (white pills) for the general illness symptoms, painkillers (red and white pills) for the headache/fever, and finally...cough syrup. (aka his least favorite... XD) Halara made sure to be very gentle with Yuma propping him upward as his whole body was burning and he was very shaky. He even had trouble drinking the water, so Halara had to get a mug instead so they could help him drink it by holding the handle, and using the other hand to support his back. Despite the struggle, Halara worked diligently to complete their task as a caretaker in full. (as for who paid them to do this...idk I'll leave that to your imagination XD)

(The cough syrup idea was inspired by this fic :3)

Desuhiko had the second shift and the whole time he was waiting for his turn, he was writing a song for Yuma. Having the delusion that his angelic voice would lul the sick boy to sleep, he played his guitar and began singing. Yuma's headache did improve enough to speak in his head now, but that wouldn't last, as the loud noises from the guitar made his head pound even further with every strum. Shinigami begs for the noise to cease fire on her poor eardrums, but Yuma doesn't have it in him to stop Desuhiko. The gesture was kind so he decided to try to listen to the whole song, despite the noise. He does eventually tell him to stop though (using hand gestures) when another song comes afterward. So then the two spend their time conversing for a bit, (though desuhiko does more of the talking as yuma just nods or makes small noises/hand gestures due to his throat still hurting too much to talk) Desuhiko even telling him he could keep the sweater and shorts he had lent to him. To which Yuma softly smiles at him as a thank you before he eventually falls asleep again.

Fubuki has the third shift, and her task was to feed Yuma the warm vegetable soup that was bought earlier and that Halara had just finished making, along with Fubuki's help. She volunteers to feed him as she remembers a time she was ill as a child in the clockford mansion and one of her servants tended to her, feeding her soup just the same. Unfortunately, because this was a memory of her early childhood, she repeats similar phrases as the servant did when she was feeding Yuma, who was clearly not a small child. Yuma's fever had dropped enough to where he could find a bit of strength to try and sit up on his own now, and his once mangled throat’s condition had improved for him to speak a little bit. As he listened to Fubuki's rambling he tries to play along with her despite the whole thing being a bit embarrassing for someone his age. At least the soup was nice and warm. It felt good going down his very sore throat.

(Funny Fact: The order that Yuma is both partnered and tended to by each detective, is the same order as the chapters in game he's partnered with them LOL)

(Page 11)

It was evening, and now it was Vivia's turn to take the fourth and final shift. At first he was just going to sit and watch Yuma while he read his book quietly, but Yakou suggested that he read one of his books out loud to Yuma to help him relax better like a bedtime story. Vivia was unsure at first, as he's never read to anyone before. But he decided to give it a try. He asks Yuma what his preference in literature is before he starts, and Yuma tells him he enjoys detective novels the most. So he pulls out the novel that was in his reading list and begins to read it out loud to him. Turns out he was quite a natural at narrating, and his slow voice was very soothing. Yuma felt so relaxed that he felt like he would fall asleep any minute, but he tries to stay awake to listen to the story a bit more. Shinigami however, conks out immediately. (fyi: yes this is the novel Vivia talks about in his final gumshoe gab. I tried to make up stuff based on it.. X'D)

Once the clock strikes 9pm and night falls, the Master Detectives all wish Yuma well and leave to return to the hotel to retire for the night. It was just Yakou and Yuma now. Yakou, who had just come back from another errand, walks over to Yuma who was now fast asleep. He looked a little better so Yakou removed the towel from his forehead and places his hand onto it. It still felt warm but no longer as hot as it did hours ago. Meaning he was out of the danger zone, much to Yakou's relief. He places the towel back in the water basin wringing it out and re-applying it to his forehead. Then he lets out a yawn. He was pretty tired. He decides that instead of sleeping in the office on one of the sofas, he'd stay by Yuma's side. His removes his jacket, goes and turns off the overhead lights, sits down and places his head down on his desk. Then after telling the sleeping trainee goodnight he turns off the small light by his desk.

OKAY FUN FACT: The comic WAS going to end here going on to the final page... Buuut~ We were STARVING for some good ol' Yakou Fathero :3 So... Enjoy these bonus 6 pages of Yakou having a shift of his own to look after Yuma in the middle of the night. And its the longest shift.

This ones for you Yakou Fathero fans! Eat your fill!

(I know we sure did :3)

Also I apologize if the lighting here is inaccurate ;w; I tried my best I'm no pro LOL

(Page 12)

A little past midnight, Yuma was stirring in his sleep. Making all sorts of groaning sounds as if he was in pain. He was likely having a nightmare. This is confirmed by his eyes suddenly opening and him violently flinging himself up screaming, and the cold cloth flying off his forehead.

This sound wakes Yakou up immediately as he puts his glasses back on asking Yuma if he's okay. He flicks the light by his desk on to check on him. Yuma's found shaking with tears in his eyes stating quietly that it was just a dream. Yakou sympathizes with Yuma as fever dreams were usually not fun, but a fever NIGHTMARE was always bad. The chief offers the shaking trainee some water to try to help him settle down.

(FYI: Shinigami is going to be absent from this part of the story because I think her banter and antics would ruin the fluff, so she'll just be lurking above in the shelf like a cat the whole time.)

(Page 13)

Yuma accepts the water practically snatching it from Yakou's hands and quickly gulping it down. Yakou tells him to pace himself not wanting him to choke. Once he exhales from the water drink, Yuma sheepishly apologizes for waking Yakou up with his scream, feeling like a burden. Yakou reassures him it's okay and decides to ask him the question of why he pushed himself this far while he was still awake. Hard enough to make himself sick. Why did he do it?

Yuma was surprised by this but decides to try to tell him. He hands the water glass back and began talking. Under his raspy voice and somewhat heavy breathing, he says that he wanted to be useful as he felt like a burden to everyone since he lost his memory. He also says that he likes helping others and that it feels familiar to him. Determined to try to unlock a core memory of his past he kept doing this, even to the point of pushing his limits.

Then he suddenly stopped speaking...

(Page 14)

...aaand cue the coughing fit. Yuma's throat got scratchy and irritated after his long explanation, causing him to cough about 5/8 times in a row. Not as bad as his previous fit but it was more than enough to startle and worry Yakou.

Yakou quickly hands Yuma the water glass he had just taken from him hoping it would soothe his throat. He tells him that helping others is a good thing but he shouldn't push himself to the point that his health gets affected. Yuma quietly nods and as he sips the water still shaking, Yakou feels bad and decides to apologize to him for being harsh before. Stating that he only lost his temper because he was scared and worried for him. He also places his hand to Yuma's cheek in both comfort and to check his temperature. It felt slightly warmer than a few hours ago.

Yuma quietly apologizes to Yakou for worrying him, still holding the water glass. Yakou forgives him. Then he takes the glass from him and then the towel that fell off Yuma's forehead. He grabs a fresh one and soaks it in the basin wringing it out and places it back on the trainee’s forehead unintentionally a bit roughly. Yuma groans and shivers a little from the cold of it.

Yakou then lies Yuma back down, tucking him back in trying to make him comfortable. But his actions were a bit too comforting. He was not meaning to in any way and he wasn't sure what came over him, but he was treating Yuma like a little kid. Yuma notices and feels a little embarrassed by it, but decides to only say it in his head.

Yakou decides to do one more thing before he lets him go back to sleep.

(Note: Hey far as anyone's concerned Yuma, you are practically his BABY when you are having a sick day, so deal with it hehehe :3c)

(Page 15)

Temperature taking page time :D (my favorite, teehee! I know some cultures and in anime they take the temperature under the arm, but there's just something so endearing and adorable about a sickie with a thermometer in their mouth <3 OKAY MY RAMBLING ASIDE...)

Yakou is now a bit concerned that Yuma's fever spiked again after that little harsh coughing fit so he decides to take his temperature one more time before letting Yuma go to sleep again. Yuma obliges and goes along with it opening his mouth as the device is inserted.

After 15 seconds the device beeps and Yakou takes it out. Yuma shyly pulls the duvet up to his face and hides as he meekly asks if its any better feeling a little nervous. Yakou responds that it is better than it was the first time, where it was a dangerous degree.

However, he still wasn't out of the woods yet. The fever was still there and although it went down, it was still in the red. Yakou states that he's still feverish to which Yuma just apologizes. Poor thing just wants this to be over, he really doesn't want to trouble anyone anymore.

(sorry yuma I can't let you off that easily hehe 😈)

(also yes I put an instruction manual for how the thermometer works, I am so obsessed that I even give the thermometer lore LMAO. Sorry if I'm inaccurate in any of those readings. I used google... ^^;)

(Page 16)

Yakou places the thermometer back on the desk and tells Yuma to go to sleep. Saying the fever will likely break by morning. To which Yuma states that he's in Yakou's bed and that he should return to the checkered sofa so his boss could sleep, attempting to try getting up. But Yakou puts a hand on his shoulder stopping him and denies this and says his desk is fine and that Yuma needed the bed more than him.

He also says that if Yuma had another bad dream that he would be there for him. Yuma smiles at Yakou quietly thanking him as he's tucked back into the duvet. Yakou pats it gently telling the trainee to close his eyes.

It isn't long before Yuma is back to being fast asleep. (and shinigami too)

Yakou monologues to himself for a bit groaning at how much trouble this small detective has been for him since he showed up. But then he switches his tune and places a hand to Yuma's head petting it softly. He says he's happy he's working hard for the sake of his memories but right now he needs to work on getting better. Saying it would help everyone in the agency if he wanted to help people.

He wishes him well continuing to pet his head for a bit longer to soothe him before going back to sleep himself turning the light off again.

(Page 17)

2 hours later, Yuma was stirring and whining in his sleep once again. Yakou groggily wakes up wiping his tired eyes upon hearing the soft noises the small trainee was uttering. And he was crying again. Can only be one thing: Another nightmare.

Instead of turning the light on to wake him up, Yakou moves his chair close to him sitting at his side. Not saying a single word. (cept in his head lol) He reaches his hand for Yuma's as it twitches and he takes hold of it gently.

Yakou eventually leans on the bed as he does so and falls asleep sitting up again. Yuma's groaning and and heavy breathing begin to settle down a little as he felt Yakou's presence close by.

Then he smiles as he closes his hand in his sleep holding Yakou's hand back, leaning a bit close to it. He felt safe again... <3

(Note: This poor thing has way too much trauma... ;w; I headcanon that he's prone to night terrors on occasion, but when he gets a fever, its even WORSE. Fevers do be messing with your head... x3)

(Page 18 Final)

The next morning when Yakou wakes up, he checks on Yuma. He still felt slightly warm but he looked much better. Seemed the worst was over and it would likely last just one more day.

When he's fully awake and at his desk, Desuhiko shows up asking Yakou if Yuma's okay and offered to wake him up. Yakou denies it saying Yuma needed one more day of rest, the fever may have been only slight now, but in the rain it would rise again easily.

Desuhiko agrees and declares that he's going to work hard today. Likely to make up for Yuma's absence. Yakou teases him and the two have a bit of a banter.

Yuma meanwhile is asleep peacefully. Still having a slight red tint to his cheeks, but he's able to sleep a lot easier now. His fever was slowly but surely breaking. (now in the yellow) Shinigami sleeps beside him, making sure she protects him from any nightmares in yakou's absence. (after all only SHE can give her master nightmares)

He wakes up fully recovered the following morning thanking everyone for taking such good care of him, and he makes sure to not push himself anymore. And continues searching for the city's ultimate secret while pacing himself to help others from now on.

THE END ❤️

(I practically made this into a sickfic in its own right... XD)

Thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed!! This is just a little artist credit page I made for Kazin and I c: Also art semi-face reveal?? xD Kinda?? Idk lol (we just two gals that like our sick comfort haha x3)

Anyway thank you again Kazin for doing this with me!! It was hard work but it was a blast and the final result came out amazing. Its surely a project I will cherish forever~ 💜🩷✨🌡️

A wholesome story to start 2024 on a good note.

152 notes · View notes