#Doubts

[lavender--fairy]

In imagination, nothing is hard or easy, everything just is. And so, learn to just be without littering it with fear, doubt, worry, urgency, impatience and what not. Ponder upon it, when you imagine, isn't everything already so? And is it not already so, now? Isn't that what you are yearning for? So why do you reject it? Because its 'not real'? Because 'it's just imagination'? Because 'It's not clothed in the 3d form yet'? Neville says you must yield to it, no questions asked and he says If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by them. All these doubts arise when you try to feel the wish fulfilled while still thinking in terms of the 3D, still not letting it go, still not letting it be. No, you must let go of it, fully. Its like you're hugging the 4D while your pinky is linked with the 3D behind your back. You must pick one. And it must be the inner world, if you truly wish to be fulfilled for it is the only place that truly fulfills you without conditions and qualifications. Remember, what you wish for is not too far fetched, not impossible, not improbable. In fact, what you seek for is seeking you. Imagination is all giving regardless of how big or small you think your desire is, regardless of how hard and easy you think it is because In imagination, nothing is hard or easy, everything just is.

[philosophybits]

A writer must never speak of his doubts regarding his creation. It would be too easy to answer him: “Who is forcing you to create? If it is such constant anguish, why do you endure it?” Doubts are the most intimate thing about us. Never speak of one’s doubts, whatever they may be.

Albert Camus, Notebooks, 1942-1951

[universalitgirlsblog2]

💗🌸DOUBTS,RESISTANCE AND VICTIM MENTALITY💗🌸

💗DOUBTS

Doubts don't matter. Would you doubt yourself if you already got your manifestation? Would you doubt yourself if you are already in Barbados? Dealing with doubts can be hard sometimes , I always say how self-concept work never goes in vain. If you feel you are reacting to the 3D or being doubtful, put the focus on you,change " SELF". Focus on your self- concept .

Avoid the need to seek confirmation from the 3D reality. The 3D reality does not control you, you control it. Movement is always happening, maybe you are not able to see it but it is always happening. Learn to reassure yourself , validate yourself and don't seek validation from the 3D.

Speak to yourself when you are in the moments of doubt. It is very important to realize that you are in control of your reality. Ask yourself: " What are you doubting about ? " " What or Who made you doubt yourself ? ". As Barbie said you can be anything , you can be anyone you want to be and manifest anyone and anything you want. Remind yourself ! You are in control of your reality.

Doubts often arise from Logic too. It is important to remember that logic doesn't matter. When you are manifesting , forget about logic and rely on your imagination. Please let go of the " when " or " how ".

I think these posts can help - edward art series summary by me and this one .

Here is a paragraph from Solar's guide , it helped me in my moments of doubts - "Your current situation does not mean you cannot manifest it to change. You can manifest a completely new reality for yourself regardless of where you are physically, as long as you mentally operate as your wanted reality. Your unwanted situation is only a circumstance, an illusion that makes manifesting seem harder. An unwanted situation will only continue to be that way if you dwell upon it, keep giving it hate and attention" I have made notes of almost all Solar's guide - click me !! Solar's guides are really helpful and they will dissolve all your doubts !! Click me if you want to read solar's creator code guide 💗🌸

🌸RESISTANCE

Resistance is when you get opposing thoughts. When our subconscious mind is familiar with one thing and you tell it something which is different from what you have always told your mind.Let's say you always told your mind how you were dumb , since subconscious mind materialize your assumptions into reality , it gave you proof how you were dumb and you continued to persist in this assumption.Now , if you tell your mind that you are smart , you will get opposing thoughts because your mind is not familiar with this thought.

To get rid of resistance , REPETITION IS THE KEY AS ALWAYS !! The more you repeat the assumption , the more dominant it will become.

Remind yourself that you are worthy of your manifestation. I used to say that self- concept wasn't necessary to manifest in my previous posts but self-concept work never goes in vain and if you work on self-concept, you will feel better about yourself , you won't doubt your power and know that you are in control !

If you get the mindset that you are going to get what you want and you will focus on what you want , you can get rid of resistance.

Read this post by @awhkacey!

💗VICTIM MENTALITY

You are not a victim of your reality. You create your reality. You have full control over your reality.

If you feel that you don't have your desires because you didn't see it in the 3D reality, it means you are giving all your control and power to the 3D reality. The 3D reality has no control over you because you control it. Stop giving the 3D too much power over you when you are the creator !

" When you play the victim , you stay the victim " Most people don't apply anything and then they complain how the law doesn't work 🤔. It's obvious the law won't work since you applied nothing but kept complaining and feeding the old story.

Also thank you for 2.1K followers , it means alot . Thank you for your love and support, I am glad that my posts helped you 😊 💗🌸

[yeesiine]

The intimacy of being with someone who has no doubts about their feelings for you.

[blabbershere]

[theonevoice]

I don't know if this is working, I don't know...

Meh.

[marypaol]

So Close Yet So Far Away

Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Panic attacks, anxiety, self doubt, relationship doubt, negative thoughts, angst :(

Summary: Reader has a panic attack and Draco helps her.

Note: I’m so sorry I haven’t posted a story in a while, it was for some reason taking me forever to finish it even though I had it all planned out. Thanks for the patience. :) And no mention of Y/N if that’s okay! Have a wonderful day and enjoy! 😉

-Also I had to put this gif, he looks so sad! :(

___

She thought they were good. She thought he was good. She thought she was good…Wasn’t she?

That was the same set of questions or thoughts that ran through her mind each morning when his fingers no longer brushed her waist and at night when his cold back faced her.

Was it something she was doing? Something she said and it happened to give him the feeling of unsatisfactory?

She wished she could flick her wand and all could be fixed, but even magic like that couldn’t fix her mental problems. Some things couldn’t be fixed with magic, they had to be fixed with communication and understandings, heart to heart as they discussed their issues, hoping that later on they could at least hold onto their love for a little longer before it was gone.

It seemed these days she was the only one that held that hope, that on her part she was the one who wanted to discuss, not him. The real question was why and when. She just didn’t have the courage to bring it up, afraid to see the penitential snarl on his face or the disappointment towards her to rise in his chest.

She didn’t want that. She was sure no one wanted that. Heck, she bets he didn’t want that but it was something he couldn’t control. Something he had no other choice but to show.

Well, back to the present tense, she is back to the what seemed the cold sheets of lost hope and previous love and her eyes set on the ceiling; not planning on leaving the tiles any time soon.

She heard him breathing softly beside her, and when she was brave enough to glance she saw the slow rise of his shoulders as he slept; his back was still to her. She didn’t know if when she fell asleep somehow he knew and he secretly rolled over and embraced her, or he stayed in the same position the whole night, his body somehow afraid of grazing her skin in any way during his slumber.

It was most likely the second option, for she was sure that she would wake up from something so special beholding her (that something special being him.)

Simply his body facing her would wake her up. His touch upon her skin, for it always made her shiver in the best way. But of course she was imagining all that while she lay in bed with him next to her but far away, almost like he wanted nothing to do with her.

She couldn’t help it. The tears that arose in her eyes were against her will, but she knew the cause was her hurting heart inside her chest, beating the best it could through the pain. She couldn’t be more grateful for it, supplying blood for her body all whilst it stung with great pain.

Soon the tears that were just settled in her eyes were now taking home on her cheeks, flowing like mini rivers and her face was the deep green hills, the water swaying to and fro as the winds picked up.

Her brain started winding, sending thoughts that were so darkened and negative she could no longer breathe properly. Would he leave her? Sure the girl wasn’t as pretty as some other girls within the Magic world, specifically Hogwarts at the moment, but she was average; wasn’t that what she’s always been? Average?

Average isn’t good enough. Not for him. He deserved endless happiness compared to what he’s been through.

Was what she was giving him already, which was happiness and love, not enough for him? She thought so, but based on his current actions of ignoring her and acting like he’s reluctant to sleep beside her, was her displays of affection not satisfactory?

Were they satisfactory, yet not enough to fulfill his expectations?

Her brain was going so fast that it was then this she realized her heart was pounding, so much so the heard it in her ears.

She grew worried, since she wasn’t running or anything, for there was no reason her heart could be beating so quickly. Her lips parted, lungs suddenly starting to run out of air. Her breathing quickened, panicking even more when her heart didn’t stop and the ability to breathe was getting harder.

A wave of hot sweat ran over her like a chill, her legs breaking from the covers abruptly, chest clenching.

Her wobbly legs took her to the bathroom, hands almost slamming the door and fiddling with the lock until it clicked, hands still pressing pressure on it even though the knob already turned.

Her body ran out of strength and she let go quickly, leaning on the sink as she bent her head, squeezing her eyes shut so tightly she saw colors within her eyelids.

Her heavy breathing slowly changed to wheezing and tears, hiccups hurting her chest as her body fought for air for an unknown reason.

Her body flinched hardly when there was rough knocking on the door, the person wanting to come in.

“Loves, you okay?”

The voice. His voice.

It rumbled through the door, not just because he was in fact talking through a door, but also for the reason of his sleepy voice, still tired from his previous slumber.

She was silent besides her heavy breathing still being audible, but even that she was trying to keep quiet.

But of course she couldn’t do so, and since he got quiet as a response he knocked again and twisted the handle gently.

He knocked once again when he found out it was locked. “Loves, open.”

He said it so gently and soft, voice full of concern and love for her. She felt belonged, right then, felt loved and cared for. She walked over to the door hesitantly, hand reaching out and while doing so she saw it was shaking.

She fiddled with the handle with fear rising in her chest in anticipation.

Was he gonna leave her?

The door opened, messy blonde locks coming into view. Despite the softness of his voice earlier, her panic inside her chest caused her to doubt how he would react. She expected his eyes to be hard and full of irritation for I interrupting his sleep, but they were full of concern and worry within the orbs, silver surrounding her vision instead of tears.

He didn’t wait to have a staring contest with her before he closed the door, walking towards her and wrapping his splendor arms around her, stroking the ends of her hair and encouraging to to breath slower.

“I-I can’t.” She said. She spoke through breath after breath, no space between them.

She felt his head nod against her neck. “You can, loves.”

Tears kept streaming. Breathes kept coming out short. Hands kept stroking her cheeks to get rid of the coming tears once he lifted his head up from her neck area.

He sucked in a breath at seeing her in pain, fingers going to her hair and moving it away from her sweaty face.

He cupped her face in his hands, cradling it like the most delicate flower to ever exist. Because to him she was. And it was his job to water her and provide her light.

“Honey, just breathe! I’m here, aren’t I?”

She nodded in his hands, showing him how strong she was. And she’s been told she was by him; he tries to tell her every day.

He suddenly started breathing loud but steady, waving his hand gently to show her to copy him.

She did just that, and all doubts floated away, every questioning thought about their future fading away, replaced with nothing but sincere and genuine love.

Here then she embraced him once more, desperate to feel his warmth. Nose buried in his clothed chest, she mumbled, “Don’t ever leave me, please.”

He scoffed against her. “Leave you? Darling, my heart would rather die a thousand different ways than to leave you.”

-Sorry for any errors, I didn’t look it over! Thanks for reading and make sure to check out other stories:

👇

Masterlist

[l0verei]

anyone else ever feel like this??

I know I’ve been posting a lot lately but the doubts of this au not working are flooding in a lot ever since I started drawing again, like “what if the story isn’t unique or good enough” “what if the au doesn’t get the attention or recognition” “am I good artist/writer” so- just been kinda hard as it is to get anything done considering that it takes me LITERAL HOURS to create one art piece, bit by bit I’ve been stopping on drawing but I’m trying not to-

I mainly believe it’s because I have a very small community and I compare myself to others a lot, like animators or people who have created AUs and have gotten popularity so fast which weighs it down, I’ll work on it of course when I have the chance but I’m starting to think it takes time to form your own community on aus so- just trying to boost my mood right now

[doodle below in case no one sees it]

Just adding a small doodle of my au with Shadowpeach at the bottom to make this sound less saddening

[honeytonedhottie]

hey honey!! first I just wanna say I love your blog so much and it helped me change my life positively. I adore your ability to share useful information with your audience and help others. I wanted to ask your advice on how to handle negative wavering thoughts I have when manifesting like “if x happens, that means x” or “if I see the number x, then that’s means x isn’t going to work”. I’ve been trying really hard to ignore these thoughts, but they are extremely exhausting to hear all the time and I eventually cave and entertain them. what should I do? I have built confidence in myself and in my ability to attract what I desire, but these thoughts are a huge obstacle for me as silly as they may seem. thanks so much honey, keep on shining x

heyy anonie tysm that means a lot 🫶🏽💗 so first and foremost i want you to think of it like ur in a store (bear w me) so ur shopping and the items in the store are your THOUGHTS. u see an item (wavering) but u dont HAVE to put the item in ur cart (entertain it).

thats how wavering/doubts are. u dont have to accept them or even put any importance on them at all. regardless of whatever doubts that u have the law continues to work and what u continue to think creates ur reality. so with that being said when u have a negative thought/doubt just let it pass. it doesnt mean anything!

allow those thoughts to pass, be like "oh that was a random fucking thought lol, but ik thats not true cuz i already have (manifestation) etc" whatever works for you. i also recommend regulating ur nervous system, taking deep breaths and reassuring urself. just let them pass, they dont matter. u already have what u want.

[wiirocku]

Psalm 94:19 (NLT) - When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.

[tenaciouspoetworks]

Do I need to work this hard to impress you??

[nobeerreviews]

The answers we seek aren't always the answers we want, are they? But knowing the truth is what helps us sleep at night.

-- Karen White

(Benalmadena, Spain)

[booboodaddysblog]

I want to touch you again…

Part one

Warnings: kissing, talking, doubts, a bit sad and emotional

Words: 3312

It was after 1 pm when Marg waited for Colin at the exit door of the police station. Annoyed, she glanced at her watch. He was late, and she disliked it very much. She went to his office. She wanted to enter without knocking, but saw that the door to his office was open.

- Where can he be? - thought Marg.

She noticed that the door to the men's bathroom was also open. She went there to see if Colin was there. She entered and saw Colin washing his face with cool water. She quickly approached him concerned.

- Oh, Colin, is something wrong? You are pale.

Colin looked quite tired, especially his eyes looked extremely dark, which was probably not a good sign. He knew it was hard to hide anything from Marg.

- Eh... I... I don't know... - he answered quietly.

- Is everything okay? Colin? - she touched his forehead and cheeks to check for a fever - you don't have a fever. What's going on? Be honest with me.

He was slightly surprised by her behavior. The way she touched him and looked at him with tenderness made him feel even worse now than before.

- I am...

He found it difficult to formulate the words he really wanted to use to describe everything. He didn't want to lie to her. He wanted to be more open.

- Please tell me what is going on? If you care about me coming back to you, you have to talk to me. You can't be so closed off - she looked into his eyes.

She was right. She was here with him and she knew something was wrong. If he wanted things to be the same again he had to start talking to her.

- I... - he fell silent for a moment looking into her eyes, but suddenly looked away - I... I just feel pretty depressed right now - he sighed.

- I understand. It's not surprising, more than a month ago we separated - she touched his arm - we need to work on each other, on our relationship. I care about you, Colin.

- I know... I know we have to do it... I... I'm just not sure how to start...

- Why don't we just go to that lunch? I'm hungry, and I'm not the only one - she laughed and stroked her belly.

She grabbed his hand and led him to the exit of the police station.

It was a nice feeling to feel the warmth of her hand again. She squeezed his hand tightly as if she was afraid he would escape her. He followed her slightly smiling. He didn't try to protest, he just let her take him where she wanted him to go.

They left the police station and went to a restaurant across the street. They went inside and sat down at a table. A waitress immediately approached them and handed them menu.

- What would you like to eat, Colin? - Marg looked at him from over the menu.

He stared at the menu for a moment then looked at her and smiled slightly.

- I'll let you decide.

She sighed.

- Well, okay, how about something light then? Chicken salad? - she looked at him questioningly.

- That... that sounds like a good idea - he said with a slight nod.

He was grateful that she had chosen something light for him to eat, since his stomach was not in a good state right now to eat something too heavy.

- Fine, and water to drink - she waved to the waitress to come over. She ordered their food and looked at Colin again - So? How are you doing after our breakup? Skipping the alcohol.

She noticed that Colin flinched.

- I... still feel really awful...

He was frankly, he felt like being brutally honest when it came to this topic. He had to talk about it before it consumed him further. He had to get it out of his chest.

She looked at him sadly.

- Colin, I want you to know that I still love you. It's not so easy to stop loving someone, you know? - she smiled at him - I really understand you, that you feel awful. Believe me, I do too...

The waitress brought them water. Marg immediately took a sip.

He started drinking his glass of water after she did as well. He felt a little uncomfortable now, as he realized she was starting to talk about it a little more openly. He felt he should do the same.

- I know... I know all this. I just... - he paused for a moment, as if he wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say - I just really regret everything I said... all those things I told you... I really regret it...

- It's true, your words were really hurtful. From now on I want you to be honest with me and tell me everything that bothers you. I am here to talk to you and help you whenever you need it. Don't close your thoughts to me, please.

- I will... I promise... I know I said a lot of things I shouldn't have. I just felt so anxious and stressed and scared… didn't know what to do with myself, so I just threw out everything I was thinking. It was the stupidest thing I could have ever done.

- I understand. I'm glad you're opening up to me. I hope it won't change.

- No, it's not going to change. I really want to fix this. I know I'm not the best at talking about how I feel, but I'm going to do everything I can to try to fix myself - he sighed loudly - but at this point I know I wouldn't be the best husband or partner right now...

- I'm really not forcing you with this marriage. It's not on fire anywhere. We can stay engaged and get married when you are ready for it. Even in a few years, or even not at all, we don't have to get married. It's important for us to be together and raise our child in happiness.

The waitress brought their salads.

- Oh, but I'm so hungry!

Marg grabbed a fork and shoved a large piece of chicken into her mouth.

Colin mused for a moment. If he had to spend a few more years to fix all his problems before marrying her, he absolutely would.

He looked at Marg again. He watched with a smile as she absorbed the food. She must have been really hungry.

- It seems really delicious - he laughed quietly.

- It is, oh my gosh, it's so good! - she said with her mouth full and smiled at him.

- Yes, I agree - he decided, also shoving a piece of chicken into his mouth. It was really nice to see her enjoying her food like this.

She patted her belly.

- I hope our baby likes it too - she laughed and continued eating.

- Could I also do it?

Marg looked at him and nodded.

He stroked her belly and smiled gently, looking into her eyes. He was happy to see her laugh. He missed it.

Marg smiled when Colin touched her belly. She touched his hand that rested on her belly. The moment touched her. She leaned over and lightly kissed him on the cheek.

- I love you, remember that - she whispered and went back to eating.

The few simple words she just spoke made all the negative emotions he felt inside disappear in an instant. He also smiled and looked down at his plate before he started eating again.

- Tell me what are you thinking about? - she said with her mouth full.

At first, he was a bit surprised that she asked such a simple and uncomplicated, yet so important question at the moment. It forced him to think for a moment before responding, as he took a moment to chew first.

- Just... I think about how nice it is to have someone like you - he said, still continuing to eat, but stopped now to look at her and smile.

- Oh you’re so sweet - she smiled at him too.

- No, not really... - he said humbly, it was hard for him to take kind words, but she really was kind to him - I'm just happy to have someone who cares about me so much. Even if... even if I recently acted like an absolute idiot.

He felt he had to be honest with her, he had to let her know how ashamed he was of his past actions.

- I would like to trust you again. Please try to make it so - she grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly.

- I... I want that too. I feel that I have been such a terrible partner to you - he said, squeezing her hand for a moment.

His behavior has been unacceptable over the past days and even weeks.... months... He had to fix it, and he was going to start now.

- Well, let's eat and get back to work. I've been away from work for over a month. I have a lot of catching up to do. I think you too - she smiled and kissed him on the cheek again.

- It's true, I have a lot of work.

He simply had so many things on his mind that work was not at the top of his list most of the time. But she was right, it was time to pull himself together.

- How has Mare been treating you lately? I heard she's really mean to everyone. Is that true? - she changed the subject and shoved a piece of lettuce into her mouth.

- Yeah, that's actually true... I just don't understand this sudden change in her behavior - he said, shaking his head from side to side, recalling the last conversation with his colleague, which was not a pleasant one.

- Or maybe she has worse days or some problems at home? And that's why she's like this? - Marg shrugged her shoulders.

- Maybe... - also shrugged his shoulders.

- Okay I finished the salad. Do we feel like having some more dessert? I feel like something sweet - she laughed - ah these pregnancy cravings - she reached for the menu and looked at the desserts.

He smiled at her enthusiasm for dessert, it was quite cute to see her like this.

- I agree. I need some sugar right now.

- Oh my goodness, look, they have a brownie warm with vanilla ice cream! I want one! - she showed him an item on the menu. Her eyes sparkled at the thought of this dessert.

- Oh, that sounds quite delicious - he said, looking at the dessert with quite a bit of enthusiasm. He had always been a fan of sweets, and this sounded like a really good option. He immediately smiled at her because she looked so beautiful when she was smiling, and he wanted to make sure she got what she wanted and needed - sure, let's do it!

- Ah can't wait for that taste on my tongue! - she waved at the waitress, to beckon her to their table and order dessert.

- I also can't wait to try it too - he said, smiling at her and taking her hand as they waited for the waitress to arrive with their dessert.

Marg looked at their joined hands. She leaned over and without hesitation kissed Colin on the lips. It was a long kiss. They could feel the longing in it.

He felt quite surprised by this sudden kiss, but didn't think too long about it and allowed himself to return the kiss. He kissed her as long as she wanted, and didn't really think about anything else at the moment. It was just the two of them and it was so nice.

They didn't break their kiss until they heard the grunt of the waitress standing at their table. They quickly pulled away from each other and broke the kiss when they realized that the dessert they had ordered was already on their table.

Colin had to catch his breath because he was so lost in the heat of the moment. The presence of the waitress brought him back to reality. Although he did not complain about what had just happened. He himself didn't know what he wanted right now. On the one hand, he wanted to kiss Marg, and on the other, he craved this dessert.

- You taste really sweet, dear - said Marg as soon as the waitress left their table. She licked her lips - okay then, now it's time for that brownie - she laughed and stuck her fork into the cake.

These words made him blush. He was glad that she was now focused on eating the cake and did not see his blushes.

- Yes, let's eat - he said slightly embarrassed.

- I missed your lips - she winked at him and put another piece of cake in her mouth.

The blush on his face began to grow, now she had to notice that he was blushing.

- Uhm... I better not say what that comment made me think...

It's not that he didn't want to say some other things himself. But at the moment he felt he couldn't.

- Oh yes I know, we are in a public place, a restaurant. It's not appropriate to talk about obscene topics - she laughed and showed him her tongue.

- Yes... definitely not a good place for this kind of conversation... so I guess I'll just keep quiet - he said, laughing slightly nervously, unsure if he should bring up these topics just yet.

He felt he needed to get it off his chest. This could get them kicked out. So he'll just have to be careful, that's the only solution. So he decided to take another bite of dessert while he spoke.

- But there is something else I would like to talk about...

- Oh really? What is that? - Marg looked at him curiously.

- Well... I think... - he took another bite of dessert before speaking again. He didn't want to rush things. He felt that he wanted to choose his words carefully now - Well, you know... I know that sometimes I have not been the nicest partner for you in recent times... in fact... - he paused for a moment, unsure how to say the last part.

- Keep talking. I want you to be open and honest - Marg took another bite of cake into her mouth.

- Well, sometimes I think... I've been jealous of you lately - he said with some difficulty.

He wasn't sure how she would react, but he knew it was something he needed to tell her so she could understand him a little better. He really hoped she wouldn't react in a negative way, though. He felt that he was already entering dangerously sensitive territory, so he was as cautious as possible.

- Oh? Jealous? Why? - she raised her eyebrows in surprise - you really have no reason to be jealous of me. You know very well that I am a person who can be trusted.

- I... - he felt uncomfortable talking about it - I really don't know... I just felt jealousy lately... like I have no control over anything... - he sighed - lack of control is not the right word... - he mumbled, feeling really embarrassed about it.

- Honey, I know we've had some worse days lately, but that's no reason for you to be jealous of me.

- I know... I should be more understanding in your current state. But I can't help myself... just... don't laugh at me, but... I was and still am jealous...

He seemed to apologize for the way he reacted and behaved now. He would like to be normal and stop worrying about so many things. He would have liked to let her live without any interference from him. But it was difficult for him to do so. She certainly understood what he meant now. He was just a bit apodictic.

- Do you mean that I was too close with my girlfriends? You yourself participated in a threesome with Roby and me. Then with Nour and me. You really didn't complain. You were even delighted. Don't pretend to be innocent now. But given my current state, because I've been pregnant for more than a month now, I really don't even think about such games - she took a big piece of cake into her mouth and sighed loudly.

- I know, I know I was also involved in... all this... but I just feel that my emotions have been out of control lately. I just feel that maybe... It was a bit too much for me... - he sighed deeply - I was and am just a little confused about what my feelings are now... just... it's so complicated... and seeing you and girls together disgust me a bit, I mean I was involved too... but it is still quite strange... which is not to say that I didn't like it...

- But now you are feigning innocence. You're so cute. I hope you remember that after the threesome with Nour and me, you asked me to be your girlfriend - she laughed.

- I remember, yes... and I don't regret it in the slightest... - he said, feeling a little more relieved now, hearing her laughter instead of anger - I don't pretend to be innocent... it's just... I feel that I wish I could talk to you sometimes... just to talk about how I feel and what seems strange and bizarre to me... Marg, do you understand?

- Colin, of course I understand. And I'm very happy that you finally want to talk to me about your feelings and what ails you. It's very important in a relationship - she kissed him on the cheek.

- Yes... - Colin felt more and more like he had gotten out of the dangerous situation he was in before. But he was going to just enjoy this moment and try to take more steps forward to better understand everything - I'll try to do this more often... it's just... sometimes difficult. But I'll do my best.

- I'm very pleased with what you say - she got up from the table - let's go pay for our food and dessert and get back to work.

- Yeah, sounds good... - he said, still taking small bites of his dessert. He, too, stood up and was quite pleased with how they had managed to get the conversation back on track and hoped that everything would remain normal for the rest of the afternoon. And that it would get even better. But for now, they were just going to pay the bills and get back to work.

Marg looked at Colin with a smile as he paid their food bill. He was relaxed now and seemed as if he had completely sobered up. The alcohol really wasn't doing him any good. Marg decided that she would try to help him with his addiction. He couldn't drink alcohol whenever something bad happened, whenever he couldn't cope with his emotions and his mistakes. This was not good for him. They were about to become parents. It was important for their relationship to be devoid of understatement and bad behavior. They had to give the child good role models.

———

@robnovetre

Part two

[shinyrhinestones]

I feel like I’ve lost the ‘vibe’ or feeling of my dr lately and i dont know how to feel. I know i can get it back, but when and how I’m not sure rn. I got a lot of stuff going on in my CR/or that makes it hard to balance multiple lives. These past few days have been so bad and hard for me. There’s such doubt, confusion and fear inside of me lately (not necesarilly shifting related). But its been bugging me so much

A few months ago i was very motivated and excited but not ready. And now i feel so down. Like I’m not even excited at the moment.

[alvinmichaelmurphyseville]

“I can’t believe all my urges to do ridiculous things that get me in trouble are just….gone now. No wonder most people aren’t constantly touching things they shouldn’t or saying inappropriate jokes.”

“It’s still very freaky because it feels wrong. I’m not bothered by it though. Frankly, I really like feeling this way…”

“But there’s that lingering persistent doubt. The cons are beginning to show. I do miss the challenge that was wrangling my impulses. I miss the pride I got from doing the right thing even when my instincts pushed me against it.”

“Maybe Simon is right. I don’t really feel like me while this stuff is in my system. I feel like…him. Part of me yearns for the spontaneity that I now lack, but I know that schoolwork is easier without it. I’m so conflicted. Won’t someone tell me what to do? I stink at thinking for myself now. I must have strict orders to follow.”