#Doesn't matter to me - I'm just here to be self-indulgent lmao

[watery-melon-baller]

on the one hand, i really like working on the script for this video essay. on the other hand, it feels like im just being super negative and and a hater towards the entire toh fandom because they like making their dolls kiss

[onlyseokmins]

size matters • l.c.

Pairing: lee chan x afab!reader Genres: major smut (minors PLS dni!), losers + idiots + besties to lovers Warnings: *deep breath* MONSTER COCK CHAN, swearing, love me some switch action, reader does not use specified pronouns but refers to their pussy as "she", reader also wears a skirt, pet names, alcohol and goofy drunk antics, bad humor, use of "whore/slut", tons of dirty talk, they're kinda pervs, mentions of toys, masturbation (fem), hints to past sexual partners, mentions of oral (male), actual oral (fem. receiving), car sex (kind of), condoms, fingering (fem. receiving), WAP lmao and squirting, bantering, degradation, wee bit praise, unprotected/protected MESSY sex, underwear play (??? lmao), precum play (??), edging, face-riding, groping/manhandling, objectification, reverse cowgirl position, bulge kink, slapping/spanking, possession, almost choking, biting, tears and crying, a bit of overstim and if i missed smth lmk sdfjkajdf WC: 8.3k A/N: this started out purely self-indulgent as usual and reads like a bad pornhwa but it's also nana month so a happy early birthday to @bitchlessdino because i will be asleep when the clock actually strikes 12 tomorrow! and bc i will dedicate all chan content to the loml! this is like my 3rd longest fic on this blog and 4th longest fic ever and it's just utter filth and smut... hate it here. i always get into a crazy headspace when i write for this man. i hope y'all enjoy my delusions before i retire out of shame 😬

"I'm worried my dick's too big."

Laughter bubbles in your chest at the same time the beer you'd just taken a swig of swishes around in your mouth. It's so like your best friend to say something stupid. Especially when your mouth is full.

He frowns in mild annoyance as you rock back and forth with mirth, struggling not to spit out your drink and make a mess. But also trying to refrain from choking. Because if you die, you sure as hell will find a way to make sure everyone knows that a dumbo and his terrible concern over having a big cock drove you to your demise in such an unfortunate manner.

And no one wants that.

"I dunno what's so funny," the man in question irritably gripes, "but for god's sake, calm down and swallow."

Though it ends up that Chan is the one gulping first. Ears burning and eyes widening when you wiggle your brows deviously and do as he says. Sticking your tongue out for good measure — just for proof that yes, you did swallow —  but he's quickly whipping his gaze away. Head turning to the side as if that does anything to hide the embarrassing look overtaking his expression. 

He thinks you'll back off, hoping the nervous twiddling of his fingers will deter further teasing. But he should really know better. The telltale signs are littered across the table in front of him and even overpower your usual sweet scent when you lean close into his personal space.

"So, you like it when someone swallows versus spits for you, Channie?"

"You're drunk."

"So are you." 

Because that's what happens every movie night. The two of you enjoy too many beers after a feel-good show and start talking nonsense.

"Yeah, and we're having a very serious conversation right now. A drunk one. But still, serious."

You purse your lips. "You're bluffing. No way you're complaining about the hugeness of your dick. 'Cause no one does that."

"It's not like I'm trying to boast or even insecure, I'm just worried."

"Worried about what?" you snort and push at his shoulder. "There'd be no reason to worry if you know how to use it. In the end, size doesn't matter at all."

Chan quirks an eyebrow, side-eyeing you. "At all?" 

"If your technique is good, it shouldn't matter as long as everyone feels satisfied. You know, you just gotta hit that one spot…" 

You start doing hand motions to demonstrate your point that seem wildly inappropriate and are honestly so drunkenly uncoordinated to the point that Chan not only feels compelled to stop you but doubts anyone would feel good from that. Then again, he's never really managed to partake in sloppy sex, so who knows? 

He grabs your hands to still them and though you no longer move, you protest. "What? You'll have 'em seeing and feeling stars! To be honest… you prolly will too if ya try your best."

"You know, I do know how to pleasure someone. It's not really an issue once I'm inside, it's just getting there that's kind of a problem."

"Channie, are you secretly a virgin?" You lay your head on his shoulder, hand running down his forearm and weaving your fingers between his. "Issokay if you are."

"You know I'm not!"

"Well, yeah I guess you're a bit of a whore. Still love you no matter what."

Chan chokes out your name in frustration. "All I'm saying is that I have a huge cock and I'm sad about it!"

"And you keep saying I'm drunk. Look, you're valid in being… upset about having a fat dick even if I don't understand. Just telling you that sometimes a ton of prep is helpful and even a decent amount of lube. No shame in that. Not everyone's built to take a large-ass, whopping cock." And then you mumble extremely quietly, "If it's even that big."

Unfortunately, he hears you and scoffs. Popping his shoulder up to gently shove you off him. Though that only causes you to grasp for his sweatpant-clad thigh and hold onto it for dear support in your half-drunken stupor. The perverted part of both your brains flash to your hand squeezing tightly around something else; the unmistakable heat of said something else radiating towards the closest part of your hand and causing a hot rush to flare across your entire body.

Or maybe that's just the alcohol.

Doesn't stop you from shamelessly ogling what you can only presume to be his bulge, gray fabric stretched over his groin and straining against muscular thighs. 

"Are you flaccid right now?"

"What's it to you?"

"Just curious. Thinking about my different dildo sizes."

He balks at that. "Pl-please don't."

"Yeah, not sure I wanna compare what your dick would realistically feel inside me," you admit even if you find it difficult to tear your hungry eyes away to take in Chan's mortified expression. 

"Can we stop talking about my personal parts now?" he squeaks out and you shoot him a dubious side-eye even though you do easily acquiesce.

"With pleasure. Speaking of which…"

Chan's hushed groan of "Oh dear" goes ignored even after you drape an arm on the back of the couch behind his head, lay the other across his chest, and splay your legs over his lap. Your lips end up leaving a sticky residue on his cheek, neck, and ear as you graciously whisper your own sex secret — the spontaneous topic of tonight — to him. 

"Only my bullet vibe has the ability to make me squirt. None of the others, not even the thirteen-inch one with suction ridges. So yeah, hm… size doesn't matter, does it Channie?"

"Well, those are toys and uh… my big dick is simply what it is. A big, regular human dick. Nothing fancy."

"Then you should try harder."

He apologizes for having such blatant ignorance about the matter and then eventually you end up falling asleep together. 

Limbs tangled and wrapped around one another just like every other night you doze off with the comfort of the other's body warmth. And like usual, you and Chan peer at each other with eyelids heavy from sleep and goofy but comforting smiles — merely inches apart when the sun's rays sneak a peek through the blinds to shine onto your faces. Because everything's normal and just right between the two of you. 

Like always.

Except it's not.

All you can think about is your best friend's dumb, gargantuan cock and his weird embarrassment about it. If you didn't know Chan as well as you do, you might think he was just using that as an excuse to get into your pants but you know better. He's genuinely perturbed over his too-big dick! 

You let out a sigh. Warm breath fans the tip of your ear while large hands lay on your hips, ringed fingers teasing the bare skin revealed by the daring crop top you decided to wear tonight.

"Am I boring you, baby?"

"Kind of," you admit, displeased that you weren't enjoying the usual thrill of grinding on the dancefloor with a hot man. Turning around to face said man, you purse your lips. "How would you feel if you had a big dick, Cheol?"

He raises an eyebrow in the self-assured way only the Choi Seungcheol can. "Shouldn't you be asking what it's like possessing the largest dick of the century?"

"Not helping, I'm not talking about big dick energy."

"That's not what you said when it was shoved halfway down your throat."

"Can't say much if I'm sucking someone off, you dolt. And I said you made my jaw hurt 'cause you're a guy that likes it rough, not 'cause I thought your dick was overly huge."

"Brat," Seungcheol says rather affectionately, "so whose humongous cock are you taking tonight?"

Your eyes wander over his shoulder to the bar, the same place he noticed your gaze strayed towards all night. A glee-filled smirk is on your face when you meet his eyes again though you only casually state with a shrug, "An absolute loser's."

"Wasn't aware it was self-pleasure night, sweetheart," he jokingly snorts, nudging you in that direction before you can get too mad at him. But not without delivering a playful slap on your ass as a 'good luck to charm' to send you on your way. "Go get 'em, Tiger!"

The cocky bastard must think you're after Soonyoung tonight, who greets you by placing a polite kiss on the cheek and a casual side hug. Though he looks hella fine tonight with slicked-back hair and donning the signature head-turning 'leather jacket, silver jewelry' fit that Seungcheol is sporting, he's not who you have in mind.

You squeeze him back though, always ready to return the affection you receive. "Rare to not see you dancing, tough crowd tonight?"

"Nah, I just have my priorities set." He angles his head toward the bartender who sneaks subtle glances at the two of you as if to distinguish what intentions you had approaching such a striking man. 

That they just so happen to have their eyes on. Luckily Soonyoung does too.

"Ah, well, so do I!" 

Never one to want to get stuck between two people and cause a potential misunderstanding, you pat him on the arm, wink encouragingly at the bartender, and skip away to find the person who's been occupying your mind for the past few days in a very different way like crazy.

Chan hasn't moved from where you last caught sight of him — in the corner of the bar nursing the same glass of bourbon for far too long. There's distinctly more water in it from the rapidly melting ice ball than alcohol but you still ease it out of his grasp. Taking a sip only to wrinkle your nose in disgust.

Your best friend observes your expression with a bemused one of his own after you hand it back, lip gloss staining the rim. A far cry from the darkened, sultry stare that followed as you moved from one gyrating body to the next. You wonder how you've never noticed it before. But then again, you yourself have never thought about him in that kind of way until now. 

While momentarily lost in your thoughts, Chan's working on getting the attention of Soonyoung's flirt target to order your favorite drink. But you place a hand on his arm, squeezing the firm muscle beneath your fingertips. 

"I wanna go home."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just feel like leaving."

He shakes his head. "You looked like you were having a good time."

"Ooh… are you jealous?"

"Hah, jealous? No. Concerned that someone did something you didn't like? Yeah."

"There will be," you tug him by the open collar of the flannel he's wearing so you're nose-to-nose, "if he doesn't take me back to his place right now."

His eyebrows raise, eyes widening as they drop down to the pouty curve of your lips. You swear he even peers at your cleavage with the tiniest of squints before finishing what little bit of liquor is left, standing, and pulling you along with him outside.

Walking to his car parked by the sidewalk is truly a breath of fresh air, the chill of the evening breeze and city noises rushing by helps bring Chan back down to earth. No longer on the crazy high fueled by the hypnotic, seductive thrall of the nightclub's booming bass that adds to him being wholly entranced by your teasing allure. 

Now it's just you and him. Simple as usual, getting ready to drive around.

"You want to go to my place?"

"Yeah."

He starts the engine, checking the side mirror to estimate when there will be an available opening to pull out. "Whaddya wanna do, stop somewhere for snacks?"

"Sure. Maybe condoms too."

"I'm sorry, what?" It's a good thing the car's still in park when his foot stomps on the gas pedal out of shock, revving the engine and making you both jump. "Why?"

Chan even goes as far as to steal a glance over his shoulder at the backseat. As if you had miraculously snuck in someone from the club that you were planning to fuck and he didn't know about it. 

There's no one there, of course.

"Why… are we picking up… condoms?" he repeats. "I um, I have a bunch of unopened boxes i-if you need them."

"You do? Good."

"Uh, can you at least let me know how many are used so I don't suddenly run out?"

Your eyebrows raise though he doesn't even dare look at you. "Do you think you'll cum that much?"

"Pardon?! N-no, I only have a surplus because I bought them in bulk!"

"I thought you weren't having sex a lot because you have such a big cock. One that rarely goes inside anyone."

His hands cover his face. "I'm saying it's fine if you want to use them!"

"Gee, thanks. You want me to make condom balloon animals or something?"

One brown eye glares at you between fingers. "… If you're into that."

"I bet extra large ones would make brilliant animal balloons but that's a sad waste when they could go around a dick instead. I mean it can't be easy for you to find ones that don't break. Whatever, at least you have a ton. And as you know I'm on the pill."

He has to know. He has to ask. "Are you confused or is it just me?"

"Clearly, because I don't know why you think I'd be into filling condoms with air and not cock."

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but — I mean like there's no way — but are you implying that you want to… you know, with me…?"

"Whaddya mean 'no way'? Fuck yeah, I wanna fuck you! Sorry, was that not clear?" 

Chan chokes on his saliva and has a brief hacking fit. "No?!" 

"Damn, uh… my bad. Sorry, I thought it was super obvious. Simply put, I can't get the thought of you out of my mind or my pussy, so yeah. We should totally bang. Have sex and all that. Only if you want to obviously. No hard feelings if not."

Oh god, yes he does. Since he now knows that you can squirt, let alone with something as small as a little bullet vibrator, all he can think about is what would happen if he teased your cunt with the thick head of his cock. It's been driving him absolutely feral and fueled a rather ugly feeling when he saw Seungcheol all over you earlier. 

But now that he knows you want him? Maybe just as much as he wants you? Explicitly? 

He starts driving in an attempt to help collect himself. You're at ease, able to read him well and know he'll need some time to process and organize his thoughts. So, you wait in silence while he does just that, and when he speaks again his voice is low, laced with utter desire.

"You've been thinking about me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Your pussy has too?"

"Mhm, Channie… she's been crying for you like crazy."

"Fuck," he mutters and grips the steering wheel tightly to avoid swerving into the berm. He rasps out in a desperate beg, "C-can you touch yourself for me? Let me hear how loud she is?"

And you sweetly oblige with a hushed, "Of course," and can't lift your miniskirt up faster than you do now, pushing the drenched thong underneath to the side. Your clit's been buzzing nonstop ever since he whined about his big cock and you got to glimpse the outline of it. And with him now sitting beside you as your thumb rubs at the tiny nub, pointer fingers dipping in and out of your clenching hole, you both let out groans — you at the thrilling sensation and him at the insanely filthy sounds.

Chan steals a moment to take in the sight when he switches lanes, loving the way your tongue lolls past glossy lips that part to release little whimpers of pleasure. It's unlikely you'll squirt right now. But there's still a slick sheen of arousal glistening on your thighs so he holds onto the sick twist of hope that a trace will be left behind. He's pleased and licks his lips but has to swiftly pay attention to the road again, especially when your head rolls to the side, eyelashes pleadingly fluttering at him.

He needs to get home fast. Now.

The car fills with the sloppy noises of you playing with your cunt which grows wetter and wetter by the second. The air is heavy and oozes sex, the compact space growing more humid as you work and rile up your pussy, yourself, and the man beside you. You keep easing up to that delicious edge but never fully dipping over it, making sure to continue growing needier and more wanton until the blurry scenery rushing past the windows half-registers as familiar in your already fucked-out state of mind.

"Wanna get a feel of your cock," you whine out with no shame at how pitiful it sounds. "Gotta know how many fingers to stuff inside to stretch myself out for the real thing."

The way he spits out your name like a curse word makes your gummy walls contract tightly, emitting a moist suctioning sound when you pull your fingers out and bully them back in. 

"No. You have to wait."

"Don't wanna! Been waiting long enough."

"So fuckin' needy," he taunts as if he's not panting heavily with his fingers drumming against the steering wheel. "I don't think they'll come even close to opening up that tiny hole of yours effectively for my dick. But size doesn't matter, so whatever. Right, sweetheart?"

You cuss him out jokingly while working knuckle-deep inside your cunt. Humping against your palm and pulling at your nipples with the other hand underneath your top when he rolls to a stop at an empty four-way in the neighborhood. 

He swats your arm out and away, curiously sweeping his own fingers across your damp folds that flinch at the sudden contact but still mourn the devastating loss of being filled before he slaps at them. Chan grins like a total heathen at the way your hips jolt upon impact, growing more and more delirious at the way droplets of your arousal splash out at the action.

"If you cum by rubbing yourself on that seat — no hands — before I pull in the driveway, I'll let you touch me to mentally prep yourself before we get inside. Before I get inside you." His words are enunciated with a smirk that drops after bringing soaked fingers to his lips — eyelids fluttering with a grunt at your taste eagerly licked clean with his tongue. "God, do you know how delicious you are? Need you to sit on my face at some point, wanna drown in that sloppy pussy."

His dirty talk could be enough to finish you off, you belatedly realize. The earlier command to rut your aching clit against the scratchy fabric to soothe it makes you thrillingly feel like a depraved whore. 

"You're a fuckin' perv, Chan," you growl out as if you aren't doing exactly what he asked on instinct and loving how he's talking to you. How good he is at making you feel divine.

"Yeah? But I want something to remember this by."

"Sick," you snarl through gritted teeth like the knowledge of him thinking about this moment every time he gets in his car and looks at the passenger seat isn't getting you off even more. Bonus points if he jerks off to it. You act like it's not the catalyst to you coming undone, blaming it fully on the bump of the asphalt connecting to the concrete driveway hitting your hard nub just right — absolutely defiling his poor car with your arousal. "Sick in the head."

Neither one of you care. 

In fact, Chan's so pleased he ignores the words you both know you don't mean. Grabbing the hand you buried deep within your hole, but then chose to use it to grip at the console while following his command, and guides it to his mouth. Happily repeating the same thing he did to his own, maintaining eye contact as he tongues at your fingertips. Pupils dilating with how addicted he's become to your taste. Growing more and more eager to have it straight from the source in the very near future. 

Then he places your spit-coated fingers where his cock strains against dark jeans. A darker, damp spot on the denim signifies how much precum the tip is leaking, begging to be released. He squeezes the hand sandwiched between his and the hardening length, shallowly thrusting up into your palm so you can completely grope at its mouth-watering, jaw-aching girth. 

"Feel that?" he goads, "that's gonna have to fit inside your tight cunt."

Your eyes nearly cross at the realization. And of course, your pussy forlornly clenches around nothing, dripping out more arousal to add to the already soiled mess beneath you. 

Oh, you cannot wait.

He wasn't lying, positive every single finger stuffing your hole couldn't compare to the size you just felt beneath those very appendages. Tears collect at your lash line, already anticipating the sheer amount of pleasure you know you'll be feeling with a very warm and real dick. And he's not even anywhere inside of you yet!

Chan coos and wipes the tear that escapes to your cheek. Then he gets out of the car and comes around to the other side to help you walk since your legs are weak and shaking — for more than one reason. That's fine because it gives him almost a weird sense of pride and an excuse to grind and grope at you as he pleases while unlocking the front door. Surprisingly, both of you are giggling together as if you're naughty teens again, always up to no good. It feels strangely wholesome, a light sense of relief blooming and filling your entire body.

Until you're on the other side of the door and those feelings morph back into something carnal. More primal. And Chan must feel it too because you swear he growls when pinning you against the wall. 

"You'll let me eat you out, right? 'Course you will." 

Now it's your turn to feel perverse satisfaction, watching as his lip trembles at the very thought of getting denied such a treat. Feeling the man's absolute desperation through the fingertips that dig into your hips and slightly hike up the already ridiculously short skirt you're wearing.

"C'mon bestie, please."

"… You did not bestie-zone me right now."

"I — " Chan hesitates and you fear the reality of the situation has hit him. That he'll back out and leave you a yearning mess like this. But then he leans in close to whisper hotly against your ear, "What, you want me to call you something like baby?"

Your hum of consideration encourages him to continue, palms sliding down the sides of your bare thighs and lowering himself at a pace that matches the syllables of each word leaving his mouth. Keeping eye contact with you the whole time as a mischievous smirk lights up his stupidly handsome face. 

"Darling? Babe? Lovely sweetheart? Or…" His voice gets thicker, more gravelly until he's finally on his knees and peering up at you. "A vixen? Seductress? Little whore? My slut?"

His hands sneak upwards again, pausing when they're hidden under the pleat of your skirt. 

"Still, you'll always be my dear best friend." He acknowledges and for some reason, it fills you with a comforting sense of reassurance.

And then he waits, hoping — praying — to get your permission.

The coy way you lift up the skirt in no way matches the cute grin you flash at him. Biting your pointer finger as you reveal your pretty pussy for Chan, its puffy lips spread by the continually soaked thong stuck between them. His eyes flick almost nervously away from yours to get a look, letting out a strangled moan at the sight. 

Automatically drawn like a bee to honey. His heart thumps anxiously when your fingers bury in his bangs to yank at them, halting him just short of being able to stick his tongue out for a taste that he already misses. He whines, fully surrounded by the heady scent of your arousal and unable to feast. But you have something to tell him first.

"You can't make me cum."

"What? Why? Need to stretch — "

"No. I already spent hours practicing with my thirteen-inch, so it'll be fine. We're doing this so you know what the telltale signs are when I'm about to cum when this," you briefly release his hair so manicured nails can pet the outside of your glistening wet cunt, "is wrapped around your dick." You smile when he moans quietly at the revelation and you tug lightly again at silky strands, eager to hear more before you absolutely break him. "And don't you want to see me squirt?"

"God, yes."

You shove his face between your inner thighs. "Then this'll help, baby boy. So, don't you dare let me cum unless it's on your cock."

Chan really can't protest against what you call him and honestly wouldn't want to because that would mean leaving the delectable meal he's finally being allowed to dine on. Though your thong remains in the way, he uses it to his advantage. Sucking all the wetness out of it with a hearty groan of appreciation, pushing it back between your folds, and running his tongue that put it there in zig-zag motions along the sorry excuse for fabric. Then repeating the same motions on either side of the bare supple pussy lips that clench at every nibble, suck, and brush on them.

It isn't very long until he gets frustrated by its restrictions though, feeling outrageous at how jealous he's getting of a piece of cloth that gets to wrap around your cunt all the time. Like you can read his mind, you pull him off with breathless laughter at his inevitable moan of sadness and mumble words of reassurance that you're doing it for his benefit.

He can't really hear with the rush of adrenaline roaring in his ears but he surely sees how you rip the offending thong away. It tears easily, falling apart at its most sodden point. And finally, your pussy is truly bare all for him and he rushes to dive back in. Slurping and sucking at your drenched hole like a dehydrated man finding an oasis in the desert.

Again, Chan's intentions were to leave you weak with the magic his mouth and tongue could work but you don't really allow him. His neck's cranked at an awkward angle as you continue to grip at his hair and smother his lips and tongue with your cunt, sloppy ruts back and forth causing your clit to catch and bump against his nose. He doesn't mind even if he's ninety-nine percent positive this is how you'd get off on one of your toys — no, he definitely has not imagined that — but he's not complaining.

There's something in the way that you're utterly using him like he's nothing but an object for your ultimate pleasure. It has the blood rushing down to swell up his cock even more. And maybe he's willingly happy to do so. Offering his body for your pleasure, making sure to stiffen his tongue so it will hit part of your clit as you move and grind all over his face. 

It's kinda hot. He also might be enjoying this a little too much.

And just as his eyes roll up for the umpteenth time out of delicious, delirious dizziness, he feels it. 

The buildup must have been when you started humping his chin shamelessly, slamming down harshly enough that he's sure he'll have bruises to show off. Settling more and more of your weight forward to arch your back, breasts heavy as they follow gravity, and your nipples visibly poke through the crop top's thin material. 

Your hips jerk up and away a few times, the subtle wiggle in them certainly has your ass jiggling cutely. He also notes how your "ah" moans turn to "mhms", positive you're biting your lip with closed eyes and a pleased grin. By now the hands tangling in his hair have made their way to the back of his head and Chan knows one thing for sure.

You're on the brink of climaxing.

And as much as he wants you to make more of a mess on his face, he's a little afraid of what you might do — or might not do — so he obediently, but regretfully backs away and sinks down to sit on his heels. Pathetic, the way he has to simply watch like a good boy as your slit flutters above him and you release the death grip hold you had on his poor hair.

Once all of your weight is supported by the wall again, you slide down it to plop on the floor. A sheepish grin on your face as you praise him for doing such a great job, reveling in what a sexy, fucked-out look he's wearing — mussed-up hair, swollen lips, and a shiny mix of sweat and arousal decorating his face as his eyes struggle to refocus while he catches his breath.

He embarrassingly thinks you might kiss him when you lean in. Only to jolt with surprise at your hand slipping into his back pocket and he flinches after you squeeze at his well-shaped ass with a naughty giggle. 

"A souvenir," you murmur in his ear and he feels the spongy ball of your torn thong when he stands like it's a gold coin weighing down his jeans.

"Can't believe you ripped those yourself."

"Can't believe you didn't rip them."

"Didn't wanna ruin them," he admits because he'd honestly feel bad. Though you shoot him a funny look that he doesn't quite understand as he assists your wobbling frame on the walk to the bedroom.

"Dude, you've already ruined so many, what's one more pair?"

"Huh?"

It's amazing how serious you are when you ask, "Don't you remember how wet I've been getting thinking about your dumb cock? Almost ran out of panties to wear."

With that admission, Chan is immediately rushing you down the hallway and has you on his bed at record speed. It's so comical that you have no choice but to once again fall into that giggly headspace like earlier as you help one another strip each other's clothes off.

"God, why are you like this? Such a fucking little tease."

"You love it."

"Hm, yeah," he looks at you with such tenderness, "guess I do."

You verbally agree even as you grab at his wrist before he can throw his boxers to the ground. "Hand 'em over. It's only fair if you have mine," you point out when he raises an eyebrow.

"Someone's full of surprises."

"Well, somebody's loved all of them so I'm sure he'll like this one too."

Though he falls onto his back easily when you push him down, he can't help but raise concern. "I get that you… practiced, but wouldn't a better position be with me on top? You'll like — "

"And I get that you liked being used like a dildo, baby boy." 

You miss the chagrined look that rapidly spreads across Chan's pretty face at the callout. But that's okay because you turn around to throw a leg over and straddle his prone body, staring at your prize of the night — the fattest dick you've been fantasizing about in the flesh.

"Thanks for these, by the way." You send a wink at him over your shoulder, waving the boxers that dangle off your pointer finger. "Need something to bite onto," you add and moan when you deliberately let your tongue meet the salty patch of precum smeared on them before clamping the black cloth between your teeth.

His heavy cock jerks up, already overwhelmed by everything you're doing. His hips follow suit, also lifting once the feeling of your dripping cunt soaks his abs as you sit and press him back against the bed and reach a hand out. He groans, clutching at the blanket when your palm rubs at the sensitive skin. You marvel at how your decently sized fingers fail to fully wrap around the entire girth.

It already weighs a ton laying against the hand you're using and struggling to prop it up. Shining in all its glory from the excess that's leaked and coated it thoroughly. You seem happy to add to it and Chan's eyes widen at the couple of clear globs of arousal that drip out of your cunt, aided by two free fingers spreading your pussy lips and contracting your inner walls to squeeze them out. And then you sink a little lower, kissing the tip of his cock with your clit before rubbing the thick head between your folds.

"You're… you're so w-wet, mhm, fuck!" He's already on the brink of tears and this is just the beginning. And the gasping man might've just let out a sob at the sight of both of your hands shaking, clasped around his dick as you position it at the right angle and slowly ease the tip inside. "God, 'n so soft," he fucking gargles out due to how much he's drooling.

You're no better off. The saliva that's pooling in your mouth at the delightful ache and burn has completely saturated his boxers. They do nothing to muffle your moans that only grow higher in pitch with the few additional inches you attempt to take, a little more each time. But at least you won't grind your teeth together, plus you're buried in the taste and scent of Chan's essence. Even more so as you topple forward, nails digging into his shins.

It's almost humiliating. How you've ended up face-planting into the mattress and your hips take on a mind of their own, humping up and down midair yet still on the top of his cock. Circling and gyrating as they attempt to both run away and plop firmly up and down onto the hard, thick length begging to fully bury into your tight cunt that's slowly widening to accommodate. 

Luckily, it's not like Chan can make fun of or even blame you, focusing everything he can on not thrusting up into your wet heat on his own accord right now out of consideration. The man understands it's a stretch, a painful one at that.

He doesn't mind staying mildly distracted. There's so much to take in. Ogling the way your ass bounces and jiggles, pornographic sound effects of his cock absolutely bullying your pussy as it squelches in and out. Filling the room with nasty noises audio porn wishes it could truly replicate amid both of your pants, moans, groans, and whines.

It feels like forever until his length has finally made its home within your squishy walls that welcome it inside with a multitude of affectionate squeezes. But honestly, that barely lasts because your hips refuse to let up and once the stretch no longer burns as much and instead melts into mind-numbing pleasure, all you can do is ride him into delirium. And Chan fucking loves it, continuing to watch how your ass reverberates with each downward slam accompanied by the sting of ass cheeks slapping against his stomach over and over again.

"S-so slutty f'me, b-best friend actin' like a whore on my dick."

"Ah, mm… cock… your cock! It's makin' me act slutty!"

"Yeah? You like being my slutty best friend, baby?"

You lug your head onto the leg you'd been riddling with love bites and salivating all over after spitting out his ruined boxers, looking tearfully in his direction. Cross-eyed with a goofy smile on your face at how fucked-out you've become as your clit grinds against his squishy balls that tighten, firm, and fill up with each thud of your hips. 

"Mhm… yeah."

"You gonna be my slutty baby from now on?"

"Ohhh, touch me Channie… please!"

"Since y-you asked so nicely." He squeezes at your ass cheek though it's quickly wrenched out of his grasp because you can't stop moving. "But I… I asked you a question." And then his palm flies out, skin meeting skin in a loud crack against your other cheek. As if it's actually a punishment. "My pretty whore's too fucked out to answer, h-huh?"

"Mhmph! More… more!"

A gasp leaves your mouth and impossibly, your hips only speed up before they suddenly halt. Practically screaming at this point with how good your best friend's cock is buried so deeply and fully seated inside as you somehow manage to sit up with inhuman strength. 

Oh, but your darling Channie knows why.

He lazily grins, empty mind now playing all the signs through his head along to the same moments happening in real-time. You have a death grip on his thighs, certain he'd really impale you in a morbid way if you lose your hold as you bounce haphazardly. How nice, he decides to aid you — giving into the urges to thrust up into your suffocating little cunt whenever you rise up so you constantly remain stuffed full every single time.

Your back does its arch thing and he runs a hand down the curve, pushing down ever so gently as he takes over. It's his turn for a slapping assault, his balls returning the favor on your tender clit that pokes and rubs at them, egging on the brutal pace you started in the first place.

"Gonna squeeze the life outta me," and you clench even tighter around him so that even the air in his lungs is sucked out by the squeeze of your cunt. "You wanna murder me with that sweet pussy of yours? Choke the life outta me, sweetheart? Like the well-behaved little whore that you are?"

Chants of "yes, yes, yes" fall in between salacious moans of "mhms" and "fuck Channie, so good" and it fuels Chan into true unleashed feral mode. The addition of the white ring forming at the base of his cock in no way, shape, or form is helping to reign him in at all. He presses appreciative bruises into the skin of your hips, aiding your sore and tired legs with the powerful strength of his arms.

"A creamer too… oh my god, what can't your cunt do baby, fuck — so freakin' perfect."

"All… all for you!"

Chan laughs and it's mean, a petulant frown causing your lips to jut out at his mocking tone. "For me? You gonna be a-all mine from now on? Let me be the only one t-to stretch this sweet hole out?"

Ongoing cries of "yes" mixes and slurs with "yours" but it's enough for him, especially when you manage to moan out with a promise that you're definitely his slutty whore and will only be his forever.

That pleases him, an elated grumble rumbling in his chest. "Gonna fill 'er up real good and you'll swallow me whole baby. Feel me for days, drippin' outta — ah, shit!" 

His voice cracks, the hands assisting your movements haul your hips up and then down, anchoring them firmly against his pelvis. You peer over your shoulder at him in utter dismay at suddenly being empty. His missed cock trembling without your warmth, flopping hot and hard against your stomach. Granting a helpful outside visual of how deep it can drill up into your cunt. But that's kind of useless when you already experienced it first-hand, so all you can do is send Chan a weepy glare.

"S-sorry babe, we just, I should probably… " His eyes dart to the unopened drawer of his nightstand. "Gonna throw a condom on."

You let out a scoff of disbelief and discontent, surly brat behavior poking through. "Doesn't matter, wanna feel you fill me up. 'N then squirt it all out, won't matter anyways."

"That's not how it works."

Chan's grateful the usual post-nut clarity somehow hit before. It's still awful timing and might have been a complete mood killer but you're both so worked up — you in particular — it doesn't seem to matter. Even as he nudges you off while reaching for a package, you back up and try to grind against his cock to change his mind. But you reluctantly give up, especially when he ends up reacting with a harsher hiss more from rolling the latex down the sensitive length than your plump ass rubbing it. 

You're honestly a little offended. 

He hushes and tries to soothe you. Fumbling with the slick mess around your gaping hole and dipping inside occasionally with one hand as he works on the condom. But you know for a fact you've been ruined because you barely feel a thing after your cunt's been stretched out for and filled specifically with his huge cock. 

Now you just wish he'd ultimately finish the job of ruining you. Oh, and maybe continue some more after. And a lot. 

You grimace because you're able to think too much. And then Chan's finally all ready to go and your cheek is suddenly pressed into the rumpled sheets, nipples brushing deliciously against them. You're pushed onto your forearms and he helps widen your knees at a spread angle so your pussy is fully presentable and gapingly accessible. 

"Good thing I'm flexible." 

"Yeah," Chan licks his lips, "just as I'd expect from my sweet slut." 

"You gonna fill this slut up then, Channie or — " 

You're cute off by the squeal at his cock ramming back inside of where it belongs. Meanwhile, he chuckles darkly, running a hand through sweaty bangs as he tries to distribute weight solidly with how he's risen to his knees. Finding little support from the mattress to support the onslaught of powerful thrusts in and out of your pussy and discovers a better method with a tight hold of your hips where his hands instinctively fall. 

"Best way to shut a whore up is to fuck them." He clicks his tongue in disapproval because you're nuzzling face-first into the bed, muffling the sounds that drive him crazy. "Doesn't mean I don't wanna hear you moan f'me, baby."

What he doesn't know is you're trying to find something to bite into that won't end up being your poor tongue. 

To manhandle you as he sees fit, Chan's fingers slip down to splay around where your vocal cords lie. Thumb digging beneath your jawline into the soft fleshy skin of your neck. Teasing you with a not-quite-there chokehold that causes you to pulsate around the cock sliding in and out with little resistance thanks to the help of the slick that pools endlessly out of your core. 

Then he's turning your head to the side to watch your eyelids flutter rapidly. Noticing how your jaw is clenched, teeth practically gnashing at each push into you that now relentlessly strokes that bundle of nerves. Taking pity, he lends a finger. Prying open your mouth and not caring when you bite down on it with a ferocity that could break skin — that's what he offered it for anyways — though it will definitely leave behind bruising indents that'll take days to heal. 

But he wouldn't care if you ended up breaking his bones too. With the way he's driving his dick over and over into you like a madman, he possibly could break something by that alone. The new position benefits the both of you greatly, granting him a better angle to reach deep and you find comfort in the way his body lays against yours. Pressing you down further into the bed, the weight comforting.

Even through the latex, he can feel the little bump of nerves his tip brushes against that's just rough enough to make him shiver. He purposefully aims his pelvis to be able to hit it each time. The lone arm at your hip wraps around your abdomen and he moans at how he can feel the bulge of skin pressed against his forearm from the size of the monster dick within you. 

It drives him feral, punctuating each sharp thrust with a praising hiss of, "Best. fuckin'. pussy. ever!"

And then it's happening. You can literally see the tightly-wound knot unraveling. Can feel as it loosens while your cunt suctions around his cock in a hard, vice-like grip. You cling around him, refusing to let him leave your warmth for a second. Not even daring to let him slide even a bit out. Though he wouldn't even think of it. As the mental ties come undone in your brain, so does your body — plummeting over and free-falling off the cliff of pleasure.

White flashes across your vision as your body writhes and shakes beneath Chan. Overcome by how fucking amazing it feels to be so full with the devastatingly huge dick of the person you care about the most tearing apart your insides. You're sobbing, tears drenching your face and where it lays. 

Chan's praising you through it all, complimenting how good you are for him, how perfect everything about you is, and how only you — his bestest, sluttiest, sweetest friend — could take him so well.

"Fuckin' knew you would be the one," he confesses and presses a kiss against your neck. It's so tender, full of love and gentleness despite how his hips cruelly still haven't let up, and it makes you wail even louder. "Ever since you smiled at me. Now, c'mon sweetheart 'n give it all to me. Show's only just gettin' started."

He's guiding you through the most intense orgasm you've ever had as it spirals from a crashing wave into a soon-to-be gushing waterfall. Yes, you've squirted before. But never with such a delightful buildup like this. And he knows you can take it, knows it's what you want as he coaches himself to hold off from his own finale. You let out a hearty moan, shaking at the overstimulation and feeling him twitch repeatedly inside. Almost as if his dick itself is begging for your release so it can do the same.

Your body listens and obeys, utterly charmed by your best friend's cock. Not like that would change the impending fate bound to happen anyway. Your cunt expels him out with a spray that splashes against his abs and drips down his thighs. Chan swears and grabs his length that bobs in the air upon being freed, fingers holding the condom tightly at the base like a makeshift cock ring. 

Furiously jerking off just a little bit to reach completion and then he's emptying what feels like a life's worth into the poor condom that can barely contain it. Unlike your pussy that would take it all if given the chance. It inflates, ballooning out and filling up with so much cum it's threatening to pop. As if it wasn't working overtime, straining around the sheer size of his cock.

It's so full and heavy, gravity weighing it down to flop against your folds that squirt out a tiny bit more upon contact that has your legs seizing. Your lower body — now growing numb — was somehow still sustained by Chan's insane one-arm strength until he flops onto you. Bringing you both down onto the wet mess on the bed.

"Get off, you're heavy," you grouch though a dumb smile lights up your blissed-out face.

He laughs breathlessly and rolls onto his side, bringing you into his arms and looking at you with stars in his eyes. You nuzzle into his neck, inhaling his comforting scent you never want to be without now that you've been fully encompassed by it in such an intimate manner. So you wait, feeling the way your hearts both beat rapidly and he takes a deep breath. Chest expanding as his lungs fill with much-needed air after so much exertion. 

Anticipation brims from the crown of your head to the tip of your toes when Chan finally asks, "Hey, do you still think size doesn't matter?"

You blink. Once. Twice. Thrice. Definitely not the question you were expecting.

There's a lively spark still dancing in his tired eyes and you match it with a playful smile. "I'm not really sure, I think you'll have to prove it to me a few more times."

"Suppose there's still a lot of condoms we can't let go to waste."

"Aw, you don't want me to make you some balloon animals?"

"That offer is tempting but…" Sneaky hands tickle the swell below your breasts and you giggle, half-heartedly batting him away. "Not as much as you are."

"And you know… there's still a lot of chances to confirm some things while we test out whose theory is right."

"Confirm what, my dear? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I've already staked my claim on what's mine." It's embarrassing how easily Chan can read you, a know-it-all smirk on his face as he cups your warm cheek oh-so-lovingly. "My slutty bestie's the only one who can take my cock like a champ, there's no way I'm letting you go now."

It's even more embarrassing that your heart and sore hole flutter at crude words that totally shouldn't make you feel like a silly fool in love. But because you are, it only makes you fall harder.

"So, you're mine now too?"

"If that's okay with you."

And of course, it's okay with you, you verbally affirm. Feeling his smile against your own when he leans in to kiss you. You'll confirm later that size really doesn't matter.  After all, you just happen to be lucky that your bestie-now-turned-boyfriend has a huge cock to complement the equally huge amount of love he has stored for you in his heart.

onlyseokmins: June 2023 ©

[simp4konig]

I'm so normal about Nikto rn

Mildly nsfw?? Idk just a heads up

But just

Nikto, gripping her hips, thinking to himself: She's just being friendly- she's just being friendly- think pure thoughts

Y/N, sitting on his lap and holding his face hostage between her titties, thinking to herself: I wonder when he's gonna make the first move... do I have to make it if he doesn't? Oh my god what if I've been reading him wrong all along and he doesn't even like me??

Nikto: Well, maybe I am obsessed with you

Y/N: Well, maybe I like that :lipbite:

Flirtatious Reader x ...Dense? Nikto

Fem! Reader coded, BUT it can be viewed as gender-neutral if you squint. 🩷💟💜

Word Count: 2237

🪼

Reader is addressed as "You". No Y/N used.

May be self-indulgent. May be a projection of my own feelings. Oops. 🙊

Please read the * at the end of the post for my clarification 💙🩵🤍.

Edit: Minor typos. I fucking hate EVERYTHING!!!

❗SUGGESTIVE CONTENT AND SOME DISTURBING IMAGERY BELOW THE CUT ❗ (No sex nor anything overly grotesque, but includes some descriptions of both). Readers are warned for suggestive content.

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Well.

The title is perhaps a teeny, weeny little tiny bit misleading 🤏…

…

…Who am I kidding 💀,, it's as misleading as it gets LMAO

Because let's not kid ourselves here: Nikto is NOT "dense", NOT an "oblivious" man, NOR is he the type to be misinformed about someone's objective[s].

Nikto is a perceptive man — he's interrogated enough people to know what makes them tick, to distinguish lie from truth.

If somebody's intentions aren't innocent and they have ulterior motives, Nikto is always the first to know; it's his job to be informed, after all.

Hence, he notices the intonations of someone's voice growing or lowering, the imperceptible change in pitch, their nervous stutter as they unconvincingly concoct a lie, how their testimony does not align with the facts, and how they've suddenly become fidgety and shift from his scrutiny...

Hence, he recognises the subtle shifts in someone's facial expressions, can read between the lines of their non-verbal gestures, their change in behaviour, their overall unease expressed without them realising it, how they're giving themselves away no matter what they say…

Hence, he takes notices the way that someone fiddles agitatedly with something in their hands, how they pick at their nails in an almost panicked way or dig their fingernails into the skin of their palms, how they're biting their bottom lip or chewing on their cheek, how their smile is lopsided and doesn't quite reach their eyes, how they avert their gaze…

Nikto is anything but perceptive. He isn't oblivious — not "ignorant", not "unaware", and certainly not "stupid", or any other words synonymous with the previous — especially when it regards what people think of him.

How people think that he's disgusting.

How everyone avoids him like the Black Death, as if he's diseased and close proximity could kill you. As if his disfigurements were contagious, and the best bet would be to stay far, far away from the diseased.

Therefore, he's not oblivious that the words which you would whisper into the brocoli ears obscured by his mask are innuendo for something for more; he's not oblivious of the sexual nature of your hands absentmindedly caressing his lower abdomen, simply inches from his clothed crotch; he's not oblivious that your touches are quite risqué, that you would provoke him on purpose, that you would sit directly on his lap and feign innocence as you would flutter your eyelashes and smile ever so sweetly.

Nikto is perceptive. Very perceptive. And he's certainly not stupid...

...they just don't perceive your flirtatious actions as anything other than some joke.

So, he has rationalised your flirtatious behaviour as friendliness. As how you express your personal affection. Or, affectations.

Whatever it is that you're expressing, it must be a joke. Surely.

Since you're the Beauty, he's the Beast. But, unlike the Beast, he is a monster which cannot be redeemed. He's been cursed to suffer mortal purgatory, while immortal, demonic voices haunt him every hour, every minute, every second of every day. It's torture.

And you want to torture him some more by tormenting him with your unashamedly forward displays, your devilish seduction, tempting him into finally taking what he's been desiring ever since you arrived in his life.

How could you want him? Do you even want him?

No. You don't. There is no way that you do.

Because he's not talkative like some of the other operators, not hilarious like the colleagues who make you laugh, not affectionate like a lover could, not good company, not a good person as a whole.

He's introverted to a concerning amount, so silent that sometimes he appears deceased as he lies next to you on the nights you come over.

Maybe it all used to come naturally to him, but it's a struggle to feign his role as a functioning human being, so to actually be one? Sometimes he questions if he's more monster than man, as that role seems to be effortless.

Perhaps this is all some heartless idea of a practical joke, some sort of sick sense of satisfaction arising in you to toy with Nikto's emotions. And, like a child bored of that toy, discard it in favour of a newer, better, prettier one.

Why would you want to be around him? What is there to like? Is there even anything to like?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Because what's there to like? Frankly, if he doesn't like himself — or selves — then how could he expect you to like him? All of him? Them?

This isn't affection, he would tell himself; either it's disingenuous and forced, or you're faking it for your own amusement.

Or... maybe it is genuine, and it isn't fake... but it's all an act of pity, since you feel sympathy for the lonely outcast and have some sort of strange moral obligation to a lunatic as fucked-up, ugly, and disfigured as him, whose been unable to have a meaningful relationship — platonic or otherwise — in years.

Especially right now, with you straddling his lap and cradling his masked face in between your breasts, he still can't wrap his head around it, and it's all incomprehensible.

At times, Nikto has considered that he's overthinking it, and that you have no ill intentions, and you're just innocent and clueless with how much you affect him.

And it would have been endearing if it wasn't so fucking frustrating.

With that in mind, for him to make the first move and jeopardise what he thought you thought was a strictly platonic friendship? He couldn't be more sorry, and would leave you alone forever and never speak to you again, even if it was physically painful and equivalent to ripping his own heart out and squeezing it until its contents popped — just for the pain and the heartache to go away forever.

...

Seriously. It's so fucking frustrating, and it's as if he's being wilfully ignorant or something, and doing it on fucking purpose.

He's delusional, yes, and you've always acknowledged the fact that more than a few screws were loose, but the entire mechanism, but it pisses you off that he continues to delude himself, rather than accept that your affection is genuine, and not some cruel joke.

You don't get bored of him, and won't. Ever.

Yes, he's not talkative, but you find solace in presence and relish the peace and quiet; yes, his sense of humour is nonexistent, but you don't need to be laughing when he still brings a loving smile to your lips; yes, he's introverted, but does that really matter? To you, you being the exception to his isolation is worth everything.

Do you care that he's not a good person? No. To some extent, neither are you — you're no saint yourself. Nikto's morals may not be grey, but smudged entirely, and his methods questionable…

…and? You don't have it in you to care. Because it has reached a point where Nikto genuinely cares for you, and you likewise for him, and his actions demonstrated what he could never convey through words; that he would never, ever hurt you. And that's enough.

As for him not being naturally affectionate?

Well. You've tried everything: guiding his hands onto your hips; sitting in his lap and straddling his lower half, arms around his neck; hell, even flashed your tits under the guise of the clasp of your unintentionally becoming undone, and, oh, could you please do it for me, Nikto? You aren't bothered by the nudity? Sorry. That was just a wardrobe mishap. You don't mind, right? You can touch all you like, because I don't mind.

But he doesn't respond. Doesn't fucking do anything. Just has his shoulders tense and arms loose by his sides, not reciprocating any touch, not touching you unless you give him permission, as if he's been lobotomised and can only take explicit orders.

You're exasperated. It's exhausting.

But how much more goddamn obvious can you be? What will it take for him to open his eyes and see that this isn't a game to you? That you're willingly giving yourself to him, because you want to? Because you want him?

And, yes, his hands twitch with the gnawing itch to touch you; his body shakes with anticipation, antsy; his shoulders are tense, back straight as a plank, muscles flexing with restraint; and, of course, he's so fucking hard that he's almost nauseous.

But will he dare misinterpret your suggestive behaviour as anything more than flirtation, teasing, and risk jeopardising his whole friendship with his one and only friend? No. Not a fucking chance.

One of these days, you swore, you were going to tear off his mask clean off his face and grab his jaw to roughly kiss him on his scarred, mishapen, and malnourished lips, only pulling away when neither of you can breathe, then look him dead in those steel blue eyes and confess that you don't give a shit what, who, or why he is, only that you want him, uncaring of the whats, the whos, and the whys — especially the "whos".

No amount of initiating physical contact could entice him to touch you. You were at wits' end.

One of those days came; and that day was today, as you two were lounging on the bed, with your arms wrapped around his neck and legs straddling his lap.

Sheepishly, you untangle your limbs from around his, and crawl to sit beside him, legs tucked up to your chest and arms wrapping themselves around your knees pitifully if it wasn't for the fire in your eyes.

"...Nikto."

Nikto's back straightens at the speed of light at your tone of voice.

...Oh. Oh God.

This is it, he thinks. This is the day where everything ends. Eventhough you're his everything and that without you he'll be nothing, you're going to tell him to go, to get off you, because you've realised that he isn't worthy of your time or your company. Or maybe you've discovered his obsession — you — and the shrine he keeps of your stolen "lost" possessions and prays to it as if by an altar, how he would worship the ground you work on if it wasn't so conspicuous, how you're the only reason he hasn't given up and put a bullet straight through his own skull so the voices shut up once and for all and—

"Do... you even like me?"

...What.

What.

What?!

Like you? Are you serious?!

He doesn't like you! He couldn't ever like you!

He adores you! Loves you! Worships you! But even then, no synonyms of these words would sufficiently convey his adoration, his unconditional love, his devotion. Would kneeling by your knees and ripping his beating heart out be enough? It still wouldn't. So he won't... mostly for your sake.

Struck dumb, dumbfounded, and utterly confused, he stares at you, his bloodshot steel blue eyes unblinking. Since he can see how your eyes are glistening, he's willing tears on your behalf, just so tears don't stain that pretty face.

Eventually, he says with complete certainty: "...Like would be putting it lightly."

"Then..."

You sniff, and Nikto flinches, but he otherwise remains stiff, not wanting to touch you and make your state worse.

"...then why won't you touch me? Don't you... find me attractive?"

Instantly, he states: "Because the touch of our hands would insult your body."

"You've... you've got to be fucking joking."

"No."

"Is... i-is this some— some kind of fucking joke?"

"...No."

Sadness dissipating, it transforms into incredulity, until you almost laugh. This is unbelievable. It would be endearing if it wasn't so fucking frustrating. You don't know if you want to punch him or kiss him.

"Nikto. Nikto Nikto Nikto. For crying out loud — I WANT you to touch me."

"We're… I'm fucked up. You should have... better."

"Haven't you ever considered that I like my man fucked up?"

Oh God.

Man. Not men. Man.

“You... still should have better.”

You snort in amusement. "What, someone more fucked up than you?"

You roll your eyes, almost out of boredom, but you don't miss how his fists clench, blood boiling as he's silently seething at the mere idea of someone else stealing you. Having you.

“Better is not an option. From my eyes, you're the best man for me out there.”

A wheeze leaves his broken vocal cords — a poor imitation of a human laugh.

But it wasn't a laugh. He isn't laughing. Miraculously, tears collect at the corners of his dehydrated eyes, and he thinks that he might cry.

His voice cracks as he asks uncertainly: “...Best?”

“The very best," you affirm with a smile.

He must be dreaming. This is all a dream. It's everything that he's been dreaming about. Maybe he's dreaming right now, and he'll wake up in a cold bed. Alone.

“Well… maybe I am obsessed with you."

"Maybe?"

"...I am obsessed with you."

"Okay."

"Maybe... we're so possessive that we'll never let you go. Never."

"Never?"

"Never."

“Well,” you begin, clucking your tongue, as if chastising him with the "tsk". “Maybe I like that. Maybe I like being wanted like that.”

"...You won't."

"I do. Otherwise, I wouldn't have even entertained the idea of being around you. If I was a rational person, I'd have ran for the hills. But? I'm not."

"..."

"Now touch me already," you say, unceremoniously snatching his idle hands and guiding them onto your body. "I'm yours. Don't wait for permission like some fucking dog."

You don't have to tell him twice.

"Yes."

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*imma b real w u guys, i had no fucking idea what to name this: ...Oblivious Nikto? ...Ignorant Nikto? ...Delusional Nikto? ...Unaware Nikto?... eventually I settled with "dense", tho i STILL don't know if that's suitable?????

Anyways... sorry for the sort of misleading title??? It was not intentional 🥲. The only reason that it's addressed at the beginning is because I didn't want any misconceptions about what I think of Nikto. No, he is not oblivious, as I gone above and beyond to clarify at the start. 😭

A/N:

To 🪼 anon sending me the asks: I love you. And I love you. Did I mention that I love you? Because I love you. 💫💖✨💖✨🧡🧡💫💖✨💖✨🧡��🧡💖✨💖✨💖🧡🧡✨✨✨ (im the monster under your bed, but instead of scaring you, i hold your hand at night 😈... I LOVE UUU/!!!!!!!! 🧡🧡🧡💖✨✨✨💫💖🧡🧡💫✨💫 DONT THINK THAT I DONT SEE YOU 👿👿👿!!!! ggRRGRHGKG FROM NOW ON ALL OF MY NIKTO WORKS ARE A PERSONAL TRIBUTE TO U IDONT EVEN CARE ANYMORE)

Random notes:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NIKTO, THE UGLY UGLY UGLY MOTHERFUCKER!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎉🎊🎊🎊🎊🎁🎁🎁🎂🎁🎁🎉🎊🎊🎉🎊🎊🎊🎊🎉 (yes his bd is tomorrow but i dont CARE!!!!!!)

Nikto and I are both Libras... 😳 OMgogmgomg we are DESTINED to be together!!! 🫣🫣😫💦💦💦💦💧🌊1!1!1!1!!!!! GUys IT WAS FATE! 1!1!1!!!!1!!!!!!!! /j

Ok but /srs, got the Ghostrunner 2 Endless Moto DLC for my birthday and ive never been happier omg 🥹 (going to replay the whole game all over again lmao 💀)

Lastly? Um. I love you all!!! Thanks for 750+ followers???+@?! When did THAT happen? @?!@??????!?? 😭😭😭💫💫💫💫 THANK YOUUU 🫶🫶🫶🫶💖💖💖💖

[not-maggie]

Hypothetically, Of Course

A/N: umm, so hi! this is my first ever fic I've written but I do read a lot lmao. I was using a c.ai bot and it inspired me to write this because it was really cute! <3 this is lowkey a self ship bc I'm tired of seeing Y/N's who don't have a personality and are shy. nothing wrong with being shy ofc <3 just not who I am and I needed some self indulging. Anyway, enjoy! any criticism/comments are greatly appreciated!! (GIF not mine<3)

It was a cool afternoon in Stars Hallow, the dead leaves falling to the ground as the breeze shook them from branches. The bell above the door rings out as Y/N enters Luke's Diner, catching the attention of a certain brunette behind the counter.

Jess feels his heart stutter as she enters, silently cursing himself for having such a reaction. He throws on his signature smirk as she approaches the counter, "Hey, the usual?"

Y/N nods with a soft laugh, "I come here too often if you know it by now." She takes a seat on one of the stool as Jess begins preparing her order. "So, anything interesting happen today?" she asks, making conversation.

"Oh, y'know, annoying customers, Luke yelling at me for not working, the usual." Jess hums, turning his head to look over his shoulder at her. "What about you?"

Y/N lets out a scoff as she responds, "Y'know Brad, the quarterback on the football team? Total douche, anyway, had the audacity to ask me out, while I was in the middle of studying in the library. And, on top of that, got mad when I rejected him. Said something about winning a bet, total bullshit." She rolls her eyes, leaning against the counter.

Jess feels his blood boil, a bet? A bet to ask 𝘺𝘰𝘶 out? He takes a moment to collect himself before turning around and responding, placing her coffee down in front of her, "Wow, total dick move. A bet? What kind of bet? If he could get in your pants?"

Y/N rolls her eyes, "Don't know, and honestly, don't really care. I get the satisfaction of knowing he didn't win, whatever it was. Like I would ever go out with him," she scoffs.

Jess leans his arms against the counter, "Not your type?" His tone is teasing, his usual snark coming out, but there's a hint of genuine curiosity.

Y/N lets out a snort of amusement, "No, I would never go for a football player, or really any athlete. Anyone who doesn't know Austen is not worth it."

Jess raises an eyebrow, "Got high standards," he teases. "So, what, is, your type?" He asks, his head resting on his palm in a casual manner.

Y/N lets out a hum as she thinks, planning her answer. "Well, looks don't really matter that much. More into personality, someone who can keep up with my sarcasm. Funny, making me laugh is really important, and there's no way I can be funnier than my partner, that's a sad life. Well-read, I'm talking more than just Dr. Seuss and the Outsiders. Someone...spontaneous, impulsive, acts before thinking; adds fun to life. And, someone who isn't afraid to show me off, not saying we have to make out in town square, but hand holding, stolen kisses, stuff like that."

Jess's heart flutters as he hears her words, that's him. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦. "So," he tries to maintain his casual, aloof appearance, "You got a guy in mind? That all seems pretty specific."

Y/N smirks at his words, "Maybe, it's kind of hard to find someone like that in this small town. You either get guys like Brad, high school has-been's, or Dean Forester. Perfect Dean Forester, although I guess technically he did move here from Chicago. But he has the 'Small Town Boy' act down."

Jess chuckles softly at her words, she was right, Dean did have that Small Town act perfected down to a science. "So, if there we're to be a guy, who matched this description, would he have shot with you, hypothetically of course."

Y/N grins, picking up what Jess was hinting at. "I'd say, hypothetically, if this guy we're to ask me out, or confess his undying love for me, I wouldn't shoot him down."

Jess straightens out, hip pushed against the counter as he leans in a bit. "So if this guy were to, hypothetically, say that he likes you and have for a while, you'd go out with him?"

"Yes, I would, but only if he told me directly." Y/N challenges Jess, knowing that he isn't big on sharing his feelings.

Jess stands up straight behind the counter as he meets Y/N's gaze, he takes a moment before talking. "I like you, have for a while." He runs a hand through his messy hair, "In fact, you drive me crazy. There isn't a moment when your'e not invading my brain, very distracting."

Y/N's smile grows as she hears him talk, "Well, I like you too. Just, don't start charging me rent for living in your head." She pokes his forehead as she teases him.

Jess laughs, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘴, at her words. "I'll let you live rent-free on one condition, be mine? God, that sounds gross and sappy." He groans at his words and how cliche he sounds.

Y/N let out a laugh, "Yes, I'll be yours." She smiles, "Bad boy Jess has gone soft."

Jess rolls his eyes but a smile tugs at his lips, "Shut up, I'm not soft....Okay maybe, but only for you and around you. And if you tell anyone..." He doesn't finish the threat, but they both know there isn't any actual heat behind it.

"Yeah, yeah." Y/N rolls her eyes, "Your secret is safe with me." She crosses her heart with a smile.

"Good," Jess hums with a small smile. "So, your mine now, huh?" He grabs her hand from across the counter, thumb rubbing across the back of her hand as their fingers interlock.

"Yeah," Y/N smiles softly, squeezing his hand. "All yours"

Jess's smile widens at her words, "That's right, all mine" He brings her hand up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles. "Mine to protect," he locks eyes with Y/N. "Mine to love, mine to cherish..." He leans in further over the counter, "Mine to hold, mine to care for..." His eyes sweep over her face, taking in every detail and memorizing them. "Mine to spoil," he reaches his free hand to cup her cheek, thumb running across her skin. "Mine to be with...and mine to love, forever." He closes the distance between the two, his lips meeting hers in a soft, tender kiss, expressing unspoken thoughts and emotions.

As he kisses her, he feels a sense of peace wash over him. He feels complete, whole. He's never been good at expressing his feelings, but right now, he knows deep in his heart that he means ever word he said.

He loves Y/N.

And he's never letting her go.

"That's the sappiest thing you've ever said."

[mchlgayser]

𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐏! [my anime ults] how they'd take care of you when you're having your period.

⸻ cw: menstrual pain & not proofread

qeena's brief note: woooooaahh yes this is very much a self-indulgent fic 😕 i'm having a very bad pre-period cramp rn (idk if that's even a word) but yes, this pain is killing me so much and i can't very much believe it that i finished such long writing loll btw this took me two hours and half (with breaks ofc) guys don't bash me for my last ult okie hes just so special to me and i love him sm (as much as truck-kun loves him) im 2021 he was my everything istg, i was literally fighting every bits of his haters (hes my shitsaki yall ��) ໒꒰ྀི ≧ ᗜ ≦ ꒱ྀིა and that's pretty much my rant for the day lmao thank you, i love you, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated and happy reading xoxo 💙

˙✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ᴛᴏɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴊᴏ

TOGAME JO will most definitely offer to run errands or take care of your tasks on your behalf. He know how painful and hard it must be for you to endure the aching pain around your lower abdomen so of course, no chores for you for the rest of the week or more. He'll probably let you do light chores if you insisted but no, he'll do the laundry, hang the clothes to dry it, iron and fold them for you, clean the dishes after you ate the food he bought for you.

He loves to spoiled you a lot, making sure you're in bed at all times, only allows you to leave when you have to change your pads/tampons or when it's your time to shower "Kame, I'm alright now..." He grin, tucking you back to bed and bring you a warm heat pack "No, you're not, princess. Now lie down and rest until you're really, really alright."

˙✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ᴍɪᴛꜱᴜᴋɪ ᴋɪʀʏᴜ

MITSUKI KIRYU love to give you a full-body massage to relieve cramps. He'll buy all sort of products that are mentioned to be good for a smooth blood-circulation, buying expensive massage gun because he know you'll love to use them when you're having a severe cramp pain.

"Here?" The rapid vibration of the motor pokes around your lower back making your groan, tucking your head in between the fold of your arm "This feels so nice, thanks, Suki." He smile, moving down to kiss the back of your hair and caress the crown of your head softly "It's a no problem, dove. As long as you're good."

˙✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ʏᴀᴍᴀᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴅᴏ

YAMATO ENDO never forget to bring, or better, surprise you with your favorite chocolates and snacks during your menstrual pain. He know how appreciative his baby is when he brings her chocolates and snacks she love so much. He' also never forget to buy a batch of pain reliever pills because he know you'll take them at night. He just know his favorite baby so well.

"And your favorite chips!" Beside you on the bed is a kingdom of junkies. It's so full of teeth-rotting sweets and snacks Endo got you "So, which one you want to try first?" When you told him you don't know, he laugh, helping you pick one thing he's most excited to try.

Endo will stay beside you, caging you in between his arms as you both eat all your favorite snacks that he got you.

˙✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ꜱᴀᴋᴜʀᴀ ʜᴀʀᴜᴋᴀ

SAKURA HARUKA may look like he's inexperienced at cooking but hey, let's be realistic, he's been living alone for a lot of years. Obviously, at some point, he must've learnt how to cook and that's why, he absolutely delighted to cook your favorite comfort food for you during your period. Whatever the food it may be, Sakura will make it for you, doesn't matter if it taste slightly decent or not.

He know you loves it when he cooks for you, you didn't say it but he can see it, the way your eyes sparkles the more you take bites of the food he made you.

"It's good or not?" Sometimes, he still need a bit of reassurance so let's give him that... "It's delicious, Haru. So delicious!" He huff, propping one hand beneath his chin as he watch you eat. The notable blush crept to his cheeks all the while you're eating.

˙✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ɪꜱᴀɢɪ ʏᴏɪᴄʜɪ

ISAGI YOICHI unfortunately can't help you physically whenever you're having your period because he's in Blue Lock but that doesn't stop him from helping you mentally and emotionally. How exactly? Of course, through sweet texts, memes, random photos of him to brighten your mood.

isababy:

saw this cute video that made me think of you

hope it brings a smile to your face

[video attachment]

you:

aww sooo cutee TT TT ilysm! ❤️

isababy:

sending warm hugs to chase away any cramps

and i love you too

Maybe it's because you're on your period, maybe that's why you're so sensitive in the middle of the night that you can't help but cry a bit (a lot) when your usually nice boyfriend is being nice.

˙✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ ᴋᴀɪꜱᴇʀ

MICHAEL KAISER is your typical "I'm rich so I can spoil my girlfriend" type of boyfriend so needless to say, whenever you're on your period, a small thoughtful gift is what you are gonna get. Kaiser remember you showing a video of someone unboxing a whole box set of blind boxes so that's what he got you. A set of twelve Hirono's blind boxes. He also remember you saying you'd like a tea boba with abnormally large size of bobas so that's what he got you as well. He wouldn't want you to worry your pretty little head thinking where he got those.

"Oh, my God, let's see our first pull!" He clap his hand together in excitement, laughing when you squeal "What's this... Oh, we got 'Poem'!" He pat your head, happy to see you smile "So childish, getting worked up over sheer boxes." He plop onto the bed next to you, chuckled when you blow raspberry at him "A man who chase round object called a ball for profession doesn't have a say to what I like." He pout, pretending to be hurt which makes you scoff "Come on, let's open another one." Kaiser bet on 'Drifter' and you bet on 'Patience' but you got 'Unspoken'. It's okay, he still got you another ten.

˙✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ᴀᴋᴀᴀꜱʜɪ ᴋᴇɪᴊɪ

AKAASHI KEIJI never missed to draw a bath for you when you're on your period, especially at nights when it'll hurt the most. He love to set up a diffuser inside the bathroom and put a various choice of your favorite fragrance so the bathroom will smell nice. He run the tub with warm water and a tropical-scent bath bomb before calling you in. What, you thought he'll done with just that? No, he even got you a projector so you can watch your comfort show while you're at that. It's just a full-package princess treatment.

"Keiji, are you alright?" He hum, situating himself comfortably on the stool, still massaging your head nice and slow "Yes, what about you, Y/n? Want to refill the snacks?" You hums a yes, thanking him in the process. He take the bowl, leaning down to kiss you on the head "I'll be right back, love."

✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ᴛᴇɴᴅᴏᴜ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀɪ

TENDOU SATORI enjoy keeping you company in your bed where you both would just cuddle and watch movies together. Tendou absolutely love nothing more than just to trap you in between his slender arms, the more when you're on period "You're always so much warmer during your period." He said to which you don't agree at all.

"Tori, we've been in bed for six hours now. Shouldn't we do something else?" He grin, tightening his hold around you, making sure his legs intersected on top your legs to assure you won't move "Don't be dramatic, it was only 5 hours and 45 minutes." He resume the movie, planting his chin to your head and caress your lower back, hoping to soothe your throbbing pain "So warm," You sighed, begrudgingly act accordingly to his will, and subconsciously leaning further onto him making him smirk.

✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ

YUUJI ITADORI is very attentive towards your needs. He know you like a hot chocolate and a place warm enough to shield you from cold so that's what he's currently making, a cozy nest with blankets and pillows just for you. He always make sure you are nicely placed, tucking you on the sofa with all your favorite stuffed animals on your side, a cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table, snacks and pain medication. He especially make sure they're within-reach.

"Anything else, N/n?" You look at him, eyes droop in exhaustion "Can I have a bottle of hot water, just in case..." One moment he's there, the second he's gone, rushing down to the kitchen to get you a bottle of hot water "Here! Go ahead and rest, N/n. I'll stay here." He pat your head, sitting down in front of you on the carpeted floor, legs crossed with a beaming smile on his face.

Let's just say he's somehow manage to get inside your cozy nest, nuzzling behind you, and snoring pretty deeply.

✧˖° 🌊 ⋆｡˚꩜˙ 𓇼 ᴋɪꜱᴀᴋɪ ᴛᴇᴛᴛᴀ

KISAKI TETTA is a very simple guy. Your basic need such as pads, tampons, snacks and chocolate and medications is a must have. This guy had these in hands before you even got your period. But what's something he'll give you that impressed you the most? Indeed, a bouquet of fresh flowers. They're your favorite flowers, duh. Kisaki like giving you things, providing you stuff and help you with chores when you're having your menstrual cycle but what is it something he do that you love so very much again? Yes, reading you books. It doesn't matter romance book, children book? You'll love them the same.

"...The old woman is a witch and is planning to keep them as her prisoners. Hansel and Gretel are afraid, but decide to go inside the house..." Your head lie comfortably on his arm, smiling despite getting tired, happy because your boyfriend is more than glad to read a book for you "Hansel and Gretel notice a large oven nearby-" The pain long subsided, all thanks to Kisaki Tetta, and after playing war with your cramp, tiredness consumed and you fell asleep through his soft readings.

[nightlyrequiem]

HI HIHI i hope ur well!!! I would LOVEEE to make a very self indulgent Valeria request, so basically I am an autopsy tech and embalmer/mortician and I think it would be a cool plot like Valeria’s gf works with her and helps her out with all the bodies that she has to deal with basically. Id love for her to have a very feminine personality like a lil bimbo wife that is lowkey covered in blood 90% of the time lmao. And for the plot itself im not very creative ill sorta take anything fluff or smut mostly 😼 but its my birthday in like a week so ill leave it in your hands hehehe

HIIIIIII! I'm doing well, hope you're doing well too!! It's actually kind of funny that you request this because I have a thing in progress where Reader works in a morgue! Such a cool job btw

I enjoyed writing this, I did a little research but there might still be some inaccuracies I hope there aren't too many 🥲

Happy early birthday, too! I hope it's an amazing day <3

Tags/Warnings: WLW, Very Minor Graphic Depiction of a Corpse, Fluff, Suggestive Themes, Smut, Pre-Established Relationship

Embalming and Bows

You hum to yourself as you prepare the cavity embalming fluid. Trocars connecting to a man's hollow organs doing the work to suction out unwanted fluids. A cheery song with questionably sexual lyrics plays quietly while you work. The man on your table hasn't been handled with the usual respect you'd award corpses. You haven't even closed his eyes. He crossed Valeria. Stole drugs, or something. You aren't actually sure. Doesn't really matter. You're embalming him for her so she can display him outside as a warning. Slowing down the decomposition process long enough for the point to get across. You've done this for her a few times. Happy to support your partner's hobbies.

Your pink apron has a few stains. Blood as well as other things. Hands grip your hips, startling you into dropping the scalpel you just picked up.

"You've been down here for hours." Valeria murmurs into your ear. You smile and turn your head to look at her over your shoulder. 

"I'm working." You reply. No bite to your voice. Valeria is always welcome to come interrupt you.

"Yeah?" Valeria hums, glancing at the man. "How's that going for you?"

You pull away gently and bend down to pick up your scalpel. Intentionally giving Valeria an eyeful of your panties. A short skirt isn't ideal to work in. But you're not technically on the clock and you felt like dressing cute today. "It's going fine." You reply, looking at the corpse. "I'm almost done. Just need to finish the cavity embalming and then he's good to go."

Valeria nods approvingly. There's a gleam in her eyes as she watches you move around. You're done draining him, so you begin to pump in the embalming fluid. 

"Quite the lengthy process, you should walk me through it sometime." Valeria says.

"I'd love to." You grin, eager to share your career with her. "It's a bit of a long process, even more when you're preening them."

Valeria moves closer and presses against you. "Oh yeah?" She hums.

"You're going to get all gross." You warn. Some of those stains aren't stains yet. Valeria lowers her head and presses a small kiss against your throat.

"A little blood never hurt anyone, in fact I like it when you're covered in it." She replies, voice dropping an octave. "Tell me more about the preening, sounds sexy."

"Not at all." You shake your head, slapping her shoulder playfully. "I have to shave off the peach fuzz on their faces, wire their jaws shut, clean them, close their eyes, and sometimes do their hair and makeup."

Valeria peppers your throat in kisses.

"I'm sure the makeup bit is enjoyable for you." 

You carefully peel off you gloves and chuck them at the trashcan. Missing terribly. "hm. You should let me do your makeup sometime." You say. Valeria grabs the backs of your thighs and hoists you onto the counter. It's cold under your bare skin. She steps between your thighs and sucks a bruise into the skin of your throat.

"You can do my makeup whatever way you want when I die." She offers. She's making a joke, but you don't find it very funny.

"I don't like to think about you dying." You scold. "Nobody wants to embalm their own girlfriend."

"Have me stuffed then, my other girlfriend is a taxidermist. She'll give you a discount."

You don't find those jokes very funny either. You gently push her away and hop off the counter.

"Not funny. Just for that you're not getting any tonight." You check on the body, making sure everything is going smoothly - that there are no leaks in the tubes. It was a nightmare to clean them the last time there was. The smell lingered for a week.

"I'm kidding Mi pequeña tanatorio." Valeria says. "That skirt looks very good on you." She very tactfully changes the subject. You beam at her from over your shoulder.

"Thank you, I bought it yesterday, along with a bunch of other things." You say. Turning to face her. "I found this new, super cute store full of the most beautiful dresses I've ever seen." 

"And how much did that cost you?"

You begin to start putting your tools away. "It costed you nine hundred-fifty."

Valeria quirks a brow.

"I don't recall you asking to spend my money." She says. You blink at her innocently.

"Oh, whoops!" You grin. "I guess I'll just have to take back all those low cut, form fitting dresses... shame, they did wonders for my tits." You turn back around, filling up a tub with bleach to clean some of the incision tools.

"You don't need to do all of that, Corazón." Valeria dismisses. "You'll just have to repay me."

"Yeah?" You reply with a sultry tone. "How would you like me to repay you, hm?"

"You'll see soon."

A week passes by. Your efforts have kept the man decently fresh, but nature's will is stronger than any embalming fluid and soon the man begins to rot. You and Valeria pass under the bridge he's hanged from as you walk back to her car. You're fed, full, and content. Valeria treated you to a very nice restaurant for your birthday. Presenting you with gift after gift in a secluded corner. smiling at your girlish gasps. Valeria is of course carrying the bags and boxes they came in. You're limping slightly, your heels having chewed blisters into your heels, but you ignore the pain. Excited by the gifts and dinner, and what's going to be occurring when you get home. Dinner, gifts, and sweet sex to end your night.

Back in the bedroom, you shed your heels and sigh in relief. Freeing your feet from their pretty, arched prisons. You sit back on the bed while Valeria lights a few candles and sets your presents on the floor beside the closet. She approaches you while loosening her tie, it's enough to flood the silk of your panties. She crawls onto the bed toward you.

"Had fun?" She murmurs. Grabbing your thighs and pulling you towards her.

"I did." You reply quietly. Wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

Valeria's lips curl into a small smirk. 

"Good. Lay back."

You comply, laying back against the feathery pillows. Heat pools into your lower stomach as Valeria sits up and removes her pants, chucking them off the bed. Her belt clatters against the floor. You watch her reach into the nightstand, grabbing a harness. You snake a hand between your legs to lightly tease yourself. She straps it to her hips and moves over you, reverently running her hands over your arms.

"You're so beautiful." She whispers. Hands gravitating towards your breasts. Valeria gives them a gentle squeeze as she kisses you. One hand slowly moving down between your bodies. She grabs ahold of her silicone cock and aligns it with your entrance. Knowing you're already worked up enough to not need that much preparation. She buries her face into your neck as she slowly pushes in. Sinking herself into your wet heat. Your inner walls work to pull her in deeper, sheathing her to the hilt. 

Valeria pumps herself into you. You moan into her ear without shame as the head repeatedly bumps into that one sweet spot inside of you. Your legs lock around her hips and pull her closer. Your own hips canting up for a deeper angle. Valeria fucks you sweetly. taking her time with you. One of her hands has found its way to your clit. Fingers toying with the sensitive bundle of nerves expertly.

"I should fuck you in the morgue someday." She growls.

"That's a weird thing to want." You moan, barely getting the words out. Valeria pulls you up into her lap. Thrusting up into you, she can't feel anything but clearly, it's doing something to her anyway. Her panting breaths puff against your neck, her hands digging into your lower back.

"Why? There's something so erotic about doing you somewhere I shouldn't."

"Like when we-" You cut yourself off with a whine. "When we fucked in that bar bathroom?"

The coil in your lower abdomen grows tighter and tighter. You rut against her, chasing that release, your slick trickling down the shaft.

"Exactly like it." She replies. "Are you close?"

You nod, nosing along her neck. You can feel your mascara running. "Mhm."

"Good, that's good." Valeria coos, her strong arms keeping you close to her. Black hairs tickle your face and you reach up and lightly tug them. "I want you to come for me."

With her permission you thrust your hips down, mind clearing of everything but the big pink strap currently penetrating you. You shut your eyes and let out a guttural groan, creaming around Valeria's cock.

She pumps it into you a few more times before going still. Sweat coating her neck and back. You slump against her and she slowly lays you down. quickly detaching the harness. You relax into the soft blankets of the bed while Valeria shuffles around with her pants. The bed dips as Valeria lays beside you, lovingly touching your jaw.

"Happy birthday." She whispers, kissing your forehead. You mumble back at her. Soaking in that post-sex high. "You still need to repay me for that money you spent, though."

You furrow your brows. "What?" You mutter. Not bothering to open your eyes.

"You can't just spend that much without giving me something in return." She replies, a smile in her voice.

"I embalm people for you." You mumble defensively. "How else am I supposed to repay you?"

When Valeria doesn't reply you open your eyes. Stunned into a momentary silence. She has a small velvety box presented to you. A seven-carat diamond ring glittering in the candlelight. You shoot up, mouth agape.

"You can repay me by agreeing to be mine forever."

Your hands fly to your mouth. "You're proposing?"

Your question wins you a dry look from Valeria. Yes, she's proposing. You had always imagined this moment. You in a carefully put together outfit, perfect hair and makeup, Valeria down on one knee. It's not exactly the same as your fantasies but you're happy, nonetheless.

You smile gleefully and kiss her.

"Yes!" You say excitedly, voice bordering on a squeal. Valeria chuckles and slides the ring onto your finger. Watching you immediately start inspecting it. Turning your hand this way and that to watch the diamond sparkle. "It's gorgeous." You gush.

Valeria pulls you back down beside her. Sighing tiredly as she rests her chin on the top of your head. "I'm glad you like it, happy birthday Corazón, I love you."

[marchiekana]

Hiii, Anon H is here and is very happy that you're back I loved what you did with my prompt. And I hope you had a good time camping !

Y'see I'm very sleep deprived because of my work lmao. Then I thought, 'yeah let's just be super self indulgent I'm too tired for this'. Like a reader that's either overworked, physically drained and / or has a hard time sleeping overall at night. They keep doing the same thing everyday but with less and less sleep. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense, I might just fall asleep any second now.

😔 I feel ya

And also, anon H please take care of yourself!

Asta x reader

March 7th x reader

Kafka x reader

Himeko.

I think I made kafka's and maybe Asta's a bit angsty(not very much)

✨ some angst in kafka's, mentions of death, fainting and falling sick, overworked reader, physically tired reader. Tell me if there anything else!

Also not proofread so there might be some grammer mistakes

Asta

Asta and you are twinning. She's got loads of work and bills and reports that need to be filled and so do you, all because of one uninterested owner of the space station.

Asta's worried about you more because in the end, she can assign someone else to do some of her work but yours I'd different, but she'll still try to make sure that you get some rest and stay fit. She's scared that you'll faint if it's too much work and to make sure you don't she stuffs you with food.

Will force you to sleep no matter what! And she'll even offer to do your work even when she has a lot herself, all cause she's scared you might fall I'll or hurt yourself more.

And if you can't sleep she'll take you out of your room instead of letting you drown in your work. You'd go to see the stars near the main lobby of the spaceship, even though it's the same as always.

Overall she's always ready to do anything for you, as long as you're happy she's happy too

March 7th

(Your one of the astral crew members cuz I say so.)

March and you are polar opposites. She's the bright, energetic one while you look like your gonna commit crimes and die any moment now. That's just how it is.

Everyday, while she does her skincare routine and have fun the whole day, you'd be busy lying around and recovering from a mission, absolutely drained and your body aching all over.

She worried for you to say the least, she can see the fatigue in your eyes and how tired you look but no worries cuz March always comes to the rescue!

Will force you to get some rest and not overexert yourself for a tiny battle. I can basically hear her saying "no need to worry, when I'm here!" Or "I'll protect you !" She just cute like that~

And she'll teach you how important it is to eat well and take good care of yourself! You'll have little sleepovers where you both do each other's nails and wear face masks while watching a movie or just talking, spending time with eachother

And when you can't sleep, she'll be by your side, braiding your hair, combing it, or just hugging you to sleep💜 (I love her)

Its her no.1 mission now, to make sure you take care of yourself properly!

Himeko

Your not getting enough sleep? No worries, just take a sip of Himeko's coffee and you're out cold.

Jokes aside, she's gonna make sure you stay healthy and stay back with her and welt for most missions. Its not like she wants you to not go out and enjoy but more like she's worried that you'll get hurt and overwork yourself trying to help others.

I'm sorry that's all cause now my brain ain't running.

Kafka

Kafka is amused more than worried about it. She questions why you joined the stelleron hunters if you're gonna get tired after every mission. But she sets such thoughts aside and warmly smiles at you as she takes care of you

She'd first make sure you eat so that you're more stronger physically. If she sees you sleeping on the couch she'd go get a blanket to drape on you with a pillow for support.

She's scared that someday your fragility will be the end of you, scared that you'll leave her and that she'll never be able to see her again.

And if you can't sleep shes there by your side massaging your hair or your shoulder so that you relax. And if you can't sleep no matter what she does, even though she hates to use her mind ability on you, she'd use it to tell you to sleep.

She finds it pathetic honestly. Sad that she has to resort to such methods just so you could sleep. But she'll never show it, even when shes worried about you she'd still act chill and laid back. And she'll never let you know how she feels. She loves you after all and doesn't want to lose you.

Iahh himeko's is too short! But I just can't think of what she'd do

I was listening to first love/late spring while typing kafka's and now blame the song for making me feel angsty.

--------------------------------------------------

© marchiekana do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarize my work!

[im-ovulating]

(A/n: this is entirely self indulgent btw (which is ironic bc I /can/ swim but idc I just want an excuse for Luci to hold me okay😭))

(Ironic bc as soon as I started writing this, Milk of the Siren by Melanie Martinez started playing lmao)

(If you don't know, it's basically about getting revenge on men and drowning them)

Word Count: 1,422

Summary: Lucifer finds out MC doesn't know how to swim and decides to change that

Warnings: don't know if this needs to be a warning but: reader can't swim (obvi)

Age Rating: Pg 13

Swimming Lessons: Lucifer x Fem! Reader

------------------------

'I can do this... It's gonna be fine, I'm gonna be fine.'

You're standing at the door to the RAD pool as you try to steel yourself for what's to come.

.

The House of Lamentation had gone for a beach day a week prior; just taking a day to wind down from exams and student council duties. You had managed to keep your inability to swim a secret for most of the day under the guise of keeping Beel from eating all the snacks.

All good things must come to an end, though. Cue Mammon chasing you down to throw you in the ocean.

All you could do was panic as you desperately tried to keep your head above the waves. Your feet slipping as the sand gave under you, unable to support the weight of your hysteric kicking.

But just as fast as you were thrown in, you're pulled out.

You sputter as you wiped the salty water from your eyes, your arm in someone's vice grip as they yank you to land. Looking to your savior, you're met with am angry Lucifer glaring at your assailant.

"I really should stop expecting you to start acting like the second oldest brother. No matter what punishments you recieve, no matter how many lectures, you never seem to grow up. It's one thing when you cause problems for yourself, it's a completely different problem when you almost kill an exchange student. You're a sorry excuse for an avatar, Mammon."

"Hey!- That's not fair! How's I s'posed to know the human can't swi-"

"Enough! Everybody, start packing. We're going home." The groans and protests are silenced with a cold glare leveled towards them.

One by one the brothers file off to gather everything with the occasional (read: frequent) insult or snide comment to the second born.

.

After the ordeal was done and everyone was back at the HoL, Lucifer had cornered you in your room.

You were unpacking your beach bag when he came in, door clicking shut behind him.

"You can't swim." He doesn't ask.

"What of it?" You ask, looking over your shoulder at him as you gather your bathing suit and towel to throw in the laundry hamper.

"Why?"

You shrug, moving back to your bag to put away your sunglasses and spf. "I don't know, I just never learned."

Minutes pass in silence as he watches you unpack, the only noise is the ruffling of your bag accompanied with the occasional clack of something dropping.

Eventually he breaks the silence. "Would you like to?"

"Like to what?"

"Would you like to learn to swim?"

You stop to think about it. "Um, I feel like I would just get embarrassed... Most people learn when they're kids and the ones that don't, rarely learn. I mean, can you really imagine me in a pool surrounded by literal children who swim better than me?"

You chuckle at the mental image of yourself with water wings on. "I think I'll pass."

"I was referring to me teaching you." He still hasn't moved from his sentry position as you shuck your now empty bag into your closet.

"Like, alone? With you? In a pool? With water?" No offense to him but you feel like all it would take is one wrong move and you'll have annoyed him to the point of drowning you. You tell him so, earning a rare Lucifer smile.

"You'll be safe." He muses. "I have an inclination that Lord Diavolo wouldn't take too kindly to me killing one of his exchange students. Much less one of his favorite ones."

"Ha ha," you fake. "Funny, though I'm far from his favorite.'

"But I guess I'll trust you."

.

So here you are, about to potentially enter your very own death chamber.

'Oh, god- It's not going to be fine.' Your heart starts to pick up but before you can fully freak out you hear a voice from inside.

"Are you going to come in or just stare at the door?" Lucifer calls from the other side of the door.

No turning back now. You push the surprisingly heavy door open, revealing an even more surprisingly sized pool. It easily puts an Olympic sized swimming pool to shame. You can scarcely see the bottom even in the so-called shallow end.

Lucifer is already in, arms holding his upper body out of the water as he waits for you to join him. You can't lie, you're having a bit of a struggle to not stare at his toned arms and what you can see of his sculpted chest.

"Come on, the water isn't going to bite."

"Says you," you mutter as you strip to your swimsuit. You pad over to the edge, sitting down to put your legs in first. Taking a deep breath, you push off, keeping a death grip on the siding.

A couple feet separate you from the avatar of pride.

"Okay, now push off and try to pad over to me." He holds out a hand to you.

"I thought you were supposed to be teaching me?" You're trying not to panic or look into the depths beneath you.

"I am. I need to see what you can do before I can help with what you can't." He states, gesturing you towards him.

"If I die, I swear to god, I will haunt you for the rest of your life. If you think Mammon is bad, just you wait until you see what ghost Y/n has in store for you." With one last proclamation of wrath, you shove off, more tossing yourself towards him than paddling over to him, but that's as much as he's getting from you.

As soon as your head submerges, you panic, arms flailing as you try to reach out to Lucifer. You feel his hand grip your forearm as he hauls you back up. It's when you clear your eyes of the awful, chlorinated water that you notice he had moved the both of you further into the pool. There's no way you can reach the siding from here.

"Fucking hell!" You scramble to cling tighter to Lucifer. "I'm gonna die. This is how I die-"

"Calm down," he interrupts. "You are going to die if you don't stop panicking."

He pulls you away from his body, causing your nails to dig further into his skin. "Look at me."

You do. Panting with pupils blown from fear.

"Are you drowning?"

"I-" "Are you?"

You swallow. "No."

"Exactly, and I told you I wouldn't let you; do you think I'm going back on my word not even 5 minutes in?"

"No..."

"Okay then. you said you'd trust me, so do so. Kick your legs lightly. Almost in a pedaling rhythm." He instructs. "We're going to start with keeping you above the surface."

And so, your legs start moving, the force of the water pushing back with each movement is a bit odd, but not too bad.

When you get a good rhythm going Lucifer drops your arms. "Keep kicking and stay calm."

You start to sink a bit but try to stay calm.

"Kick a bit harder."

You start to gain back face-to-water distance and you let yourself get excited.

"I'm doing it!-" In the process of celebrating, you stop kicking.

Just before your head goes under, Lucifer pulls you up yet again.

"What happened to 'keep kicking'?" He asks.

You look up to answer, only to find that his face is way closer than you thought. All too sudden, you're aware of his tight hold around your waist and how your chests press together as your hands rest on his shoulders. Your legs lightly brush against each other as you both kick to stay afloat.

"..."

"..."

Neither of you break the silence as your eyes stay locked together.

Are you going insane, or is his face getting closer?

No, it definitely is. Your noses bump as Lucifer tilts to the side. Your eyes are sliding shut and your lips are a hair's width apart when the pool door slams open.

Both of you jump apart as much as you can without him letting you sink. Luke stands at the entrance, staring at you with a look of shock.

"I- I was looking for Beelzebub- He... He ate the last of a cake I made and ran. I- Sorry." With that the angel scurries away, effectively taking the tension with him.

"..."

"I think we're done for the day." Lucifer says.

"Yep. Completely."

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

So, this of course isn't the way everyone interacts with religion, but for me faith is a white knuckled grip on the ragged, bleeding edges of the gaping wounds in one's psyche. Divinity as a leverage point with which to rip your very soul inside out looking for a transformative way to transcend mundane pains. Belief is just a matter of what you think is true, but the passion to throw one's whole selfhood into that worship thrives on struggle and tension and being just absolute hot garbage at some aspect of life and totally mentally/spiritually out of wack because of it.

Someone who's good at letting themself indulge in pleasures doesn't need to devote much thought to it, ya'know? They might like Bacchus, but I have trouble imagining it developing into intensity beyond that. However, someone who is exceptionally bad at letting themself have anything good, but who knows abstaining is harming them and desperately wants to learn how to indulge - now that's a guy who could go crazy attempting to touch and embody the divine force of inebriation and indulgence!!

So when choosing a religion for Jason I focus in on what he's struggling with and for me the obvious choice is the tension between different methods of resolving his past and his grief.

I think he understands that not letting go of the past is causing him harm. I think he does/would struggling a lot between feeling like pursuing closure is the correct method of untangling his attachments/traumas and feeling like his attempts to mend bridges and reconnect are simply self sabotage. He also seems to hold a tension between his moral beliefs about what needs to be done for the good of the world versus what ought to be done as justice towards himself. Like he flatly believes it is Morally Correct to kill the Joker, but refuses to do it himself because no one being willing to do it for him is an injustice to himself.

Hinduism fits that set of struggles best I think, in my admittedly limited knowledge. I feel like he'd get a lot of really meaningful stuff out of reading commentaries on the Bhagavad Gita and the Upanishads, and find himself wanting guidance from deities that offer release from attachments.

It's also got guidelines and concepts about when and why it's okay to kill that I think he could jive with. Now, Hinduism is insanely diverse and complex; do not get it twisted and start thinking I'm saying there's one simple rule here - but the concept of actions for their own sake, of never being entitled to the fruits of the action but rather only to the action alone, of killing purely when it is the right choice for the health of the world, and removing the internal desires from that equation... I dunno that feels like the kind of noble, unattainable ideal Jason would want to strive for while being just extremely fucking bad at it lmao

The only thing I think he really wouldn't jive with would be the caste system, but that's not a requirement for being Hindu. Nearly every believer has some widespread belief within their religion that they don't hold to. Perfectly reasonable to say this is an aspect he'd work around or simply ditch altogether.

So yeah I think I've convinced myself to headcanon him as some variety of Hindu forever

[enobariasdistrict2]

❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜ just screams clato to me…

This was supposed to be short but I lost the plot I'm sorry lmao. Set after the rule change and before the Feast.

---

"Clove, come on. Just drink your damn water. You gotta stay hydrated," her district partner insists, frustratingly stubborn as usual. Cato doesn't seem accustomed to not getting what he wants right away, she thinks for the thousandth time. And yet it has slowly become easier and easier to indulge him - other than a pointed glare in his direction and a narrowing of her eyes which he ignores, Clove no longer fights him on every little word. She's seen this change reflected in him as well, a lack of arguments and attitude from him that would be almost disturbing if she cared.

(Which she shouldn't... and doesn't.

Who she is trying to convince, that's beyond her.)

However, she can't deny that she felt a peculiar sense of relief anyways when he returned to his normally aggravating self - quiet commands, sharp insults, hissed threats - snapping out of the subdued silence that had come over him when Marvel never returned from hunting the source of the fires. (Clove herself had found it more difficult to adjust than was appropriate. Somehow, the Arena felt more vast, lonely, even haunting, with all their allies now gone.)

The cast of fog over his typically bright, flaring personality had receded until he had enough energy to pick a fight with her, which he always seemed determined to do. Here he was doing so yet again, over something as stupid as her water intake.

"That Atala lady warned us about the silent killers. The ones that are obvious and sneak up on you still. Dehydration being one of them. So I mean it when I tell you, drink your water." His voice is gravelly, deep, a dulled monotone instead of the jovial boyish enthusiasm she is used to from him. Signs of an exhaustion that would not serve them well in the upcoming fight. It had been her idea to rest, even if she had always been the more focused, eager, "crazy" Tribute out of the two of them.

Everyone was long gone now, with a handful of other competitors left, so what did it matter if they didn't go hunting for the others today? Still, Clove muses as they sit together, slumped side by side against the base of a particularly large tree, she might feel the urge to hunt him instead if he didn't stop telling her what to do, for fuck's sake.

Cato's shoulder presses into hers with a firm, solid, reassuring weight. Her head leans sideways until her hair brushes his neck. It's closer than what is considered strictly professional for a Career alliance, but Clove doesn't give a damn, not anymore, she's so tired and pissed off.

He swipes for the bottle she's discarded beside her pack - one of the few salvageable items from the supply explosion - and twists the cap with his typical nonchalant strength. (But his movements are a little sloppier than usual, probably the empty stomach from the lack of Sponsor gifts getting to him, and she's only concerned about his ability to put up a decent fight so as not to embarrass them, nothing else.)

"Come on, Clove. When we hunt down those other ki- the other Tributes," he corrects blearily, far too late, but the slip up hardly matters now, "we need to be at peak condition. You think I haven't noticed how out of it you are?"

The worst part is he is right, her strength must be waning from her body, because otherwise Clove would have pulled a knife to his throat for daring to point out her state of weakness so carelessly. Rule change or no, she might have killed him. (She ignores the deranged little voice in her head calling her a liar.) "I'm trying to take care of myself," Cato continues, "and you need to do that too."

"If it'll get you to shut up, then fine," Clove growls, losing any trace of patience she'd ever had. (A relatively minimal amount, and all Cato ever seemed to want to do is test it.) She's ashamed to admit that he ended up being correct, because the water tastes so exquisite she takes it down with greedy, wanting gulps, glaring at him from the corner of her eyes as he chuckles.

"See? I have good ideas sometimes, you know."

"We've established that you're not some brutish maniac." Clove agrees, but the mocking tone masks the fact that she is being sincere. He has proved surprisingly invaluable to their alliance so far.

Not even with simple strategy, or providing the same mutual protection she gave him. Sometimes, Clove thinks he might be her only friend, the one thing keeping her sane. It's a disturbing idea, so she viciously forces it from her mind.

Clove passes the bottle to him, watching with mild amusement and some other vague heated feeling she can't name as he places his mouth against the rim and tilts his head back to drink, exposing the long column of his neck.

Once he finishes, wiping his mouth on his jacket sleeve and wordlessly handing the bottle back to her, Clove rips her gaze away from him, annoyed with herself. It's an unfortunately recurring feeling that always seems to be associated with anything her district partner did these days.

Like always, Cato breaks the peaceful silence stretching between them. Usually, she doesn't mind - he is not as unpleasant a companion as she would have thought.

"Hey, Clove. If the rule change hadn't... you think one of us would've turned on each other by now?" Well, never mind then, he is the worst at conversation because what the hell? She swivels toward him at a speed that hurts her neck, startling Cato into looking at her with wide, confused eyes.

She herself is perplexed. What had led him to ask such an insane question? One she's not entirely sure she wants to answer?

"Enough of that," Clove almost yells, defensive and annoyed and so angry that he's looking at her like she's some puzzle he wants to solve, to fully understand. "It doesn't matter now, does it? We can go home as co-Victors, if we get to those two brats from Twelve first, but we don't have time for distractions right now. Don't ask stupid questions like that again."

Cato doesn't seem particularly hurt, or apologetic, or murderously irritated - the last of which being what most (not Clove, of course) had to worry about when talking back to him. In fact, with his flat, expressionless eyes boring into her in that unnerving way he always seems to look at her, he doesn't seem to feel much of anything at all.

Good. That is what they need, what will help them survive, help them win. Just as they promised their District.

For the rest of the day, she doesn't look at him.

[priestess-of-yuri]

Pmmm x alnst anon here. This is what I thought about who would be who LOLLL. Sorry if this seems long and stupid as you can see I'm deeply hyperfixated lmao

Ok sooo obviously mizisua is madohomu but it's a little hard to decide who would be madoka and who would be homura for a number of reasons. Apon first looks you might think that sua would be madoka and mizi would be homura because of the whole sacrificing thing+ that one piece of angel sua devil mizi official art buuuuuuut if you look deeper you'll realize that it doesn't really fit: the most noticable part is that mizi has pink hair and sua has black hair+ purple eyes . Mizis whole thing is that she was unaware of her worlds dark nature until her gf died which kindaaaaa defeats the whole thing about homura as opposed to sua who was generally always kinda sad because she knew what was gonna happen if she lost which isn't really something like madoka??? (Also. Mizi is shown to have a generally supportive alien family while sua is shown to have a neglectful one which kinda contracts the thing about homura basically being a Catholic orphan and madoka being the only character in the show to have a supportive AND alive family. Idk if you get it but yeah) anyways I still decided that mizi would be homura and sua would be madoka because of some other reasons but. Yeah. You kinda understand

Next up is ivantill kyosaya. I think that they fit ivantill perfectly (sorta) because it's kinda obvious (at least for me) that who would be who here: kyoko would be Till because of her overall aggressive nature BUUUUUT also because till crushing on mizi would kinda also fit homuras and kyokos relationship since kyoko is basically the only person that homura can always trust. sayaka would be Ivan because of the whole "longing for someone who doesn't love you back" thing+ some other reasons (thought Ivan sayaka having beef with sua madoka while being close friends with mizi homura doesn't. Rlly make sense so) Ivan being fated to death could also kinda add up the fact that sayaka witched out every time she became a magical girl. I think you kinda understand why

Sooo Mami is Luka for a number of reasons: both have a reasonable amount of yellow in their designs, both are (physically) the eldest of their groups both are kindaaaaa insane ect ect. It's also fitting because Luka being the "king" of the stage could also add up the thing about Mami being an experienced magical girl and being WAYYY too much in the whole thing. R5 could also be a parallel to the Mami vs homura gun fight (specifically the part where mizi beats the tar out of Luka) . The ONE difference between these 2 is that Mami genuinely feels remorse lol

Anddddd last but not least (drumrolllllllll).... Hitomi as Hyuna. YES I know this seems strange but I actually have multiple reasons to believe why this sorta fits??? First of all Hitomi never becomes a magical girl no matter what which kinda fits hyunas rebel thing. Also iirc Hitomi had a crush on homura in one of the timelines???? Which could kinda add up to the thing about Hyuna rescuing mizi In r5. I guess Issac and Dewey could be those 2 friends of madoka from the first episode but idk. Mayyyyyybe kyosuke could be hyunwoo but idk LOLLLLLLL.

I LOVE YOUR RAMBLINGS GO OFF ANON. i love the discussion and details you put into your crossover...

my interpretation of your au was that mizi would be homura, sua would be madoka, till would be kyouko, and ivan would be sayaka. i hadn't got as far as thinking about mami, nevermind hitomi, but i would probably put mami down as hyuna for my own self-indulgence (i love shipping mizi/hyuna), and therefore hitomi as luka.

my reasoning, which is not to say it's superior to yours or anything, but like instead just building off your ideas...

just btw, when you do crossovers, it doesn't have to be 1:1! that's the whole point, you can make your own self-indulgent story! if you enjoy it, then that's mission accomplished! so this is my self-indulgence that i wanted to share with you too :3

homura as mizi: the themes are what i would like to focus on here! in homura's original timeline, homura was saved by madoka. not to mention, homura deifies madoka, just as mizi deifies sua.

madoka as sua: madoka isn't all sunshine and rainbows! she has been known to turn into a witch, so i think her taking on sua's "role" so to speak of understanding the larger picture of the alien society could fit! and like i said, her dying/becoming deified by homura also fits.

sayaka as ivan: their vibes are similar 🤔 and sayaka having an unrequited crush that drives her to sacrifice herself is pretty much right up her alley.

kyouko as till: their vibes are SO similar. i also think kyouko reads as anti-establishment! and this would be perfect for her to take on till's "role". it would mean that her values/attitudes/rebellion of hating the aliens would get painted as part of the show by the aliens, and again this is fitting. plus i like your points. kyouko DOES have some kind of homoerotic thing going on with homura 😳

mami as hyuna: mami might be less of a wildcard than hyuna, but i think being older and more experienced still lends credibility to her taking on hyuna's "role" of a rebel. i also just like mizi/hyuna and homura/mami is a fascinating ship to me.

hitomi as luka: look, i'll be the first to say luka is fascinating as a character and i want to put him under a microscope, and in the same breath i'll say i dislike him (yet i understand his actions and do not blame him). and yet i love hitomi. which makes it all the more interesting to list hitomi as luka, actually, because i think i would adore hitomi in luka's shoes. hitomi is shown to be quite mature in the pmmm universe, but put her in the high-stakes alien stage scenario in luka's shoes and i think she would actually get driven to the extremes luka did. especially when you consider that it's theorised luka's skin condition is the result of what can be interpreted as extreme abuse at the hands of his alien owner. one thing that i want to note is luka (and therefore hitomi in his shoes) could very likely feel remorse! remember, he's performing to Literally Save His Own Life. we need to humanize them, we need to humanize ALL the contestants, because the real monsters are the aliens running the show. that's the whole point of alien stage's commentary on idols performing under capitalism: idols irl are dangled around as if they are puppets, and you as the audience eat it up, but the people behind the scenes making them sing for scraps are the real scum.

thank you so much for reading if you got this far!!! and thank you for sending me your thoughts and hearing out mine too. i love Thinking Thoughts about my fave media... 💖

[teddybeartoji]

sooooo i heard someone mention selfship asks >:3…. i have one for mitoru n one for moji hehe

1) i can’t resist the hurt/comfort SO . how does toru cheer you up when you’re having a bad day?? and vice versa !!!!!

2) i alr asked this for mitoru but !!!! between you n toji ….. who is ”falls first” and who is ”falls harder”?? :3

OK THAT’S ALL (for now >:3)…… gl w work mickey!!!! 🫂🫂 i hope that you see this tmrw when you’re well rested!!! and that you have the coziest sleep in the meantime <33 smooching you gently on the bridge of your nose

HELLO ARI MY SWEETEST LITTLE ANGEL<333333333333 THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR INDULGING ME ON MY SILLY LITTLE SELFSHIPS HEHEHEHHE

mitoru comfort..... wahh this is such a sweet question ari:(((( when i'm having a bad day it's all about quiet time and touch. he knows that words will have very little effect, so he just slings himself over me like a koala:((((((((( i'm talking like full body weight and we've definitely uhh almost fallen over like a million times lmao. doesn't matter whether i'm getting something to eat or i'm gaming or i'm already full-time rotting in bed - he's just gonna Envelop me<333 he will whisper ridiculous jokes in my ear and i will always laugh bc i am not immune to his stupidity<3333333

and when he's sad:(((((((((((((((((((((((pls i don't even wanna think abt it he's my baby:((((((((((((((((((((((( i hold him tight and i will play with his hair as i whisper praise and reassurance into his ears. he hides his face in my neck or chest or lap (this guy is a cat fr) and i keep him safe and sound, away from the world:((((((he's mine:(((((( you know he tries to hide whenever he's feeling bad but he can't escape me i will always be there. i'll trace his face and tell him how much he means to me just so he knows that it's okay to open up, that it's okay to let me in:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ari i love him sm:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

omggggg moji hehehehehe nowwwwwww i haven't actually delved too into this so this is veryvery exciting. i will be first to fall though there's no question here. but it still wouldn't be a love at first sight thing. this is also a slowburn but a different kind from the mitoru one. it's even slower i think😭😭😭😭

ok but i think the moji dynamic is literally just him meeting a weird cat and picking it up by the scruff and going🤨🤨🤨🤨what the fuck kind of a creature are you🤨🤨🤨🤨but then i manage to woo him with my straightforward and snarky personality and he goes🤨🤨🤨🤨again bc what the fuck is happening to him🤨🤨🤨🤨i think i can entertain him so much that he has no other way to just fall in love with me

anywayy.................... as for who falls harder............................ how self-indulgent am i when i say toji............................................. it's gonna take him a while to do it but when he finds his person he's All In you know?? like there's just no going back... when it finally clicks in his head i think he feels a bit sick. happy and sick and nervous and giddy and aaaaahhh everything is too much!!!!! feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but luckily i'm right there with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will bring him down to earth (to me) and then i'll welcome his shy love with open arms!!!!!!!!!!! ari i love him so much too i wanna cry:((((((((((((((((((((

wahhhhhhhhhhhhthey're both my babygirls i would do everything and anything for them<3333333 once again thank u so much for indulging me with this i'm having so much fun thinking abt the dynamic and the Lore hehehehe i love you so much and i am kissing every single one of your freckles rn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[officialauthorofanotherworld]

aghhhh ok fine

I did do a music post in the past, but i'll indulge you, @jev-urisk XD

(quickly tho, cuz i'm writing rn)

one song each and a explanation of why :D (i was gonna do three each but then this post would be crazy long)

also, spoilers for Party of Three becase i can't explain these things entirely without spoilers (i tried my best to avoid massive ones)

As such:

Vague-ish spoilers for Taka's future

Minor spoilers for Beriyl's past

Relatively massive spoilers for Arthur and Eirairr's backstories

Taka:

Refrain Boy - ALL OFF

(I am very very passionate about music so this will probably be a long post despite me saying otherwise lmao)

Reasoning: This song to me, embodies a lot of things. The "going ahead with life even though it's hard," that really awesome feeling a lot of shonen have about "pushing through stuff with your friends no matter what," that "great things are gonna happen for you in the future" vibe, its really hard for me to put this emotion into words, but just the "You can look forward to fun stuff in the future, and as long as you have your bonds and yourself, you'll be okay, even if it's sad and hard" and i really, honestly think that embodies Taka very much. He is very much a person who cares VERY much about his friends, he's a very adventurous person, I'm very honored to get to write about him because his journey is to me, one that is very special and very beautiful. We literally watch this scared little kid grow up into someone capable of saving the world, and I think that is just beautiful. We watch him come into his own sort of groove, find out who he is and who he really cares about, what he stands for. It's just really beautiful and very personal to me. I've always loved this song, but in a sense I think it encapsulates the "journey" of Tamalnh, and my own personal journey over the last few years. Except I have far less friends than Taka, and I am nowhere near as happy as he is.

Beriyl:

Aaagh, honestly Beriyl is a tie up between Fightsong - Eve and Yumemigusa by BLUE ENCOUNT

Beriyl's story and him as a person I feel like both of these songs fit him pretty well. His is a story much darker than Taka's, because he's practically a survivor of childhood neglect. For fear of spoiling too much, I really don't know how to explain this without doing so, but Beriyl's story of overcoming self-worth issues, figuring out who he really is and what truly matters to him, and standing up for those things, is one that I think is really beautiful.

Beriyl is an immensely strong person, even if maybe that isn't readily apparent for the first, oh... two hundred pages of the book.

Arthur:

ROAR by ulma sound junction

This lyric in particular; "Where destiny gets robbed and torn in half,"

He lost everything at a very young age, struggled with severe, suicidal depression for many, many years. And he nearly did do it. In a way, he lost his future, then clawed it back into reality with his own two hands, fully intending to die all the while. He may never be able to fulfill that lost childhood dream of adventuring with Rend, he may have lost his family and village, but he found Taka and Beriyl. And they saved him, from himself, in a way.

Ecirr and Qlul:

PRIDE OF A NAMELESS HUNTER - Tadayoshi Makino

Ecirr to me, embodies the "grace" and "refinement" that Qlul doesn't really have. Qlul is the warmth and energy, the relaxed and "silly" side of the coin here, whereas Ecirr is the calm, cool, "serious" side.

Now, for some reason, I don't have a playlist for Qlul. But I do have a theme I feel fits both of them very much so.

L no Theme B - Hideki Taniuchi

Here's one more that resembles them :')

ok fine one more (feels fitting for book 2's tone)

AGHH ALSO BOOK 2 THEMING

Ecirr is really smart, and Qlul's not stupid. This song (L's Theme) to me feels like when they combine their only visible braincells and actually pull off something cool.

Eirairr:

Man, Eirairr is hard to summarize in a single song. He's such a chaotic person.

The enigma of an elf, the Eirairr-ness of... Eirairr.

Here's a few: Kannon by Kita Kouhei

Blue Moon by LiSA

Tyottohitoiki

At his core, he's a good person. He cares about his friends and has an unfathomably great love for life itself. He's also a very tragic figure, as being born as a Pactborn-Elf means that, no matter how long he lived inside that Realm as an immortal being, once outside he's only got a hundred years. Can you imagine how short a hundred years would feel to someone who's lived that long?

Eirairr himself says something to this extent; and yes, this IS a pretty big spoiler, but its necessary to really get my point across.

Some context: A very long time ago, there was a period where Fae were very active, and several curses were placed on various people/parts of the world back then. One of these was locking several "clans" of elves into permanent deification as "guardians" of elements of the world, hence "Pactborn" elves. So you have "pacted" elves of the mountains, seas, forests, etc. They basically exist in a plane that is one "layer" above the physical dimension, which intersects with the Fae realm. They can't leave their "assigned areas", and if they do, they are cursed to die in a hundred years.

(the relative timespan of a human, basically.)

Eirairr was born into that, lived for a very long time, and then decided to leave. When he left, as part of the Curse, he was given knowledge of the modern world, clothes and a weapon, and basically told; "Good luck."

alright that's all from me :D did lots of tumblr today, lots of writing, very productive day today :DDDD and i have work tomorrow aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not excited

ok bye

[misc-obeyme]

I have so many things running through my head right now (all about Barbatos 🫶) but I feel weird sending multiple asks so I hope you don't mind if I put them all in one!

Firstly, owl Barbatos has been flying around my thoughts for DAYS. As a long-time bird lover, I can wholeheartedly say that he's very owl like in general! But this is less about him being a cutie patootie little bird and more about his onesie thing. I NEED TO HUG HIM. He looks so soft and comfy and squeezable EEEEE! I just need to spot him from across the room and then rush up to him and envelope him in the biggest embrace ever! Place several little kisses all over his beautiful face before he's had enough and just kisses me... 🙏 He actually looks like a dream to cuddle with in his onesie I cannot stand it.

Next, I am terrified of butterflies. This current even had me thinking all about how Barbayos would deal with this. Like, I am so scared of them that when I was a child, I was kicked out of the butterfly sanctuary for screaming and crying and scaring the other kids. Anyways, LMAO, I think he'd think I'm silly (I am) but still never make fun of me. That's what's so wonderful about him, he'll never judge!

I just realized these are all completely self-indulgent, and I apologize for that, but I have one more djmsjdwnwkow. So, I had left over chain from a previous DIY project, so I made Barbatos' collar chain that he has in his demon form!! I think it's super cool, and I think he'd think it is, too. I wouldn't even tell him about it, I'd just wear it one random day and see if he notices. (He will. He notices everything. More evidence towards owl Barbatos propaganda.) But, yeah, we'd match. I was wondering if you had any silly things you'd like to match Barbatos with! Personally, matching pajamas and keychains are SO cute.

Final thought, Barbatos would make you his home screen. Anyone can see a lockscreen if you look at their phone, but only he gets to see your face on his home screen <3

Listen, I always have Barbatos brain so I totally understand. You're free to send in one long ask or several smaller asks, it's whatever you're most comfortable with! I don't mind either way 💕

Ahh, owl!Barb is truly excellent. Like I definitely think that's a good choice for him. Owls have a reputation for being wise, right? And while I think in reality they're probably just as dumb as any other animal, I still like the association of wisdom for Barb, you know?

I actually have an owl that lives behind my house. I've never seen it because it gets dark here at night, but I've heard it hooting. It's actually pretty loud lol. But wouldn't it be cute if that was something Barbatos could do to like check in on MC in the human world? I think something similar whenever I see the crow gang that lives across the street from me, except I imagine it's Mammon. That's probably pretty silly, but I can't help but think about them, you know?

I think there are a lot of bird associations with the characters, I mean we also got peacocks for Luci. Though I have never seen or heard a peacock around my house lol. If I ever see a cow in the street, I'll blame Belphie.

Anyway, getting off topic here, which is that Barbatos in his onesie is absolutely adorable and I love him. He would be a delight to cuddle with.

OH suffering from lepidopterophobia?? LOL yes okay I looked that up because I was curious. I was like there has be a word for being afraid of butterflies. Anyway, I don't think Barbatos would judge you at all. The fact is, most phobias like this are irrational, it doesn't matter if they don't make sense. For you the fear is real and Barb cares a lot more about your comfort than anything else. He wouldn't want you to be scared or anxious about it!

Yo, no worries about self indulgence. I have so many self indulgent fics it's not even funny, this is what we're here for. I think Barbatos would be flattered that you would want to match with him. I especially like that it's something from his demon form, which he isn't in all the time, so it's like you're matching with him in a subtle sort of way. As for me, I don't know if I'd want something that's exactly matching, but I like the idea of something that's like clearly about him, you know? Like wearing a ring with a teal stone or something like that. I initially thought about wearing a teal septum ring, but then I realized I would like to be able to see it without a mirror so a regular ring would probably be my choice. I do like matching pajamas, though, that sounds adorable!

Oh yes, I like him being possessive. He's like, only I get to see this picture of MC, so it must be home screen. We'd kinda match that, too because this man is already on both my lock screen and my home screen yes I have a problem.

[maypearlss]

the nona incident :> ?

[@biptome speaking]

TNI! MY BELOVED MAIN WIP <333 i can actually offer some writing for this one bc i'm in my rj feels and wanted to write some backstory stuff for him unrelated to the actual plot of the story :)

“Have you ever thought about starting your own band?” Liv asked, her golden brows furrowed in focus as she studied RJ’s face before putting her pencil to a fresh page of her sketchbook. RJ wasn’t the blushing type, but something about that scrutinizing gaze made his cheeks go warm. He looked down and busied himself with rubbing gentle little circles into her knee with his thumb before answering her question. “Eh, I’m not really the ‘start a band’ type. Maybe Duke would, though.” Liv’s pencil made harsh, crisp scratching noises against the paper. Her sketches always looked aggressive and angry, so messy they somehow managed to appear clinically precise. “I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t talk to me.”

this fic is mostly just self-indulgent fun stuff, but there's also some duke backstory/context stuff in there if you squint. i probably won't ever post the full thing on here, though, so i guess that doesn't really matter LMAO

[sga-owns-my-soul]

rodney teaches john to be selfish 😱 👏

WIP Wednesday!

rodney teaches john to be selfish is such a self-indulgent fic (both for me and john lmao) i'm interpreting this as excitement so here's rodney making john take the day off work to go surfing as his first lesson in selfishness:

"Go check the hut."

John was sure his eyes lit up as he took off running, pulling the door to the hut open and laughing loudly in excitement when he saw the two brand new surf boards leaning against the wall. Matching black wetsuits hung above them.

"Rodney, how did you pull this off?" John asked, excitement building. It had been so long since John had gone surfing.

"Trust me, you don't even want to know what I had to offer Caldwell and Landry to pull this off, and you definitely owe Elizabeth and Lorne because they frankly did most of the work. That doesn't matter though. Are you ready to enjoy an afternoon of selfish indulgence, Colonel?" Rodney's eyes were dancing with excitement, and John knew it couldn't be just to learn how to surf. He didn't analyze it further than that, but he felt butterflies in his stomach anyways.

"Definitely."