#Do things I actually enjoy while actually taking care of MYSELF (eating showering etc)

[theautumnaldemon]

You doing okay? /Gen /nf

Yeah, just another majorly stressful day. And it’s gonna continue to be stressful through the weekend. Maybe even afterwards

But we stay silly :3

[study-like-you-mean-it]

New Year's Resolutions for People who Already Have Too Much on their Plate

Something I've learned over the past few years, but particularly this year, is that I have a habit of taking on way too many projects when they don't seem to be that time-consuming, and then getting pulled under completely when they ramp up. Knowing the motivation of the people who follow my posts (big hello to all my baby Oxbridge undergrads from someone who's now out the other side and doing a Cambridge MPhil), I thought some resolutions for people who don't have the time to take on any more habits or projects might be of use!

Take time every day to be in the moment It's really easy to get stuck in a routine where you get up, power through the things you need to do, stick yourself into work, eat your lunch as quickly as possible, and then go back into work without giving yourself a time to just be. Find a moment during the day, and just take that moment to completely disconnect from everything and just focus on that one thing. Some people really enjoy doing this at mealtimes- I personally can't do this because I really don't like just focusing on eating for various reasons, so I choose instead to just make sure that every time I shower I just focus on the ritual of getting myself clean, and then moisturising and taking care of my hair. It's not because I'm particularly bothered about my appearance, but because showering won't go faster if I'm thinking about work or letting my thoughts wander. Sometimes (not always) I also just think about a handful of things I'm grateful for while I'm doing this, to remind myself that although I'm constantly chasing new goals, I've achieved a hell of a lot along the way. Have an experiment for when a good moment is to do this in your own routine (either when showering, eating, exercising, etc)

Stop adding things to your to do list! I'm absolutely criminal about this- when something new crops up, I just go "oh I'll add it to the list of things I need to get done today," and I never end up getting everything on my list done. Either have a master to-do list and a separate daily to-do list (it's important that it's separate!) where you take things off the master list to do each day, or just put that thing to do on another day and keep yourself to a maximum number of things to do. If you finish your list, great! Enjoy the free time. You don't have to be doing things nonstop to be worth something, and often setting boundaries like this will help you be more productive.

Set yourself working hours It doesn't matter if you have an actual job or not- I started doing this when I was 19 as a second year by giving myself a starting time that accounted for either getting back from training or having a small lie in, and it meant that I actually had time to do the things that I valued- now I'm just doing a master's thesis, I can also give myself weekends off, which is massively helpful for my motivation during the week

Make that date with that friend You know you've been putting off loads of coffees or drinks or whatever with individual friends because you're too busy with work. Newsflash (which I think everyone has learned or will learn the hard way): if you say you're always busy, people will stop asking. Likewise, if you spend your entire time waiting to be asked, you'll find yourself disappointed- what is the person on the other end doing but reaching out instead of waiting? Don't be passive- do it, even if it takes an hour of your time. If someone you've been meaning to see asks to hang out, make it a priority. Your life is just as important as your work, and you need to feed both soul and mind (not to be too cliché)

Sort your projects into tiers Previously, I've been very guilty of assuming that everything I do is equally important, but that's never been the case. Coursework submitted for a grade, for example, is more important than work that you've just submitted for a supervision that will be marked but not submitted for a grade. Things shift priority, but having a mental tier list is super useful in terms of thinking about where you're going to be allocating your time and energy. For my thesis, I've broken it down into a group of things (literature review, experiments, stats, machine learning, writeup) that are shifting priority- experiments was super important for me to get finished before Christmas so the lit review took a backseat, but now I've finished them I can focus back on the lit review. I've also got my side-projects in a tier as well- my tutoring job rose a bit over the holidays because I needed a bit of cash, and so did one of the two books I'm editing because we needed to prepare to go to print; now both are done and any further work on those is back on the lowest tier. Not everything needs your whole heart and soul thrown into it at all times.

Find a non-competitive hobby I think busy people are absolutely the most guilty of finding ways to spend their free time that involve pushing themselves to their absolute limits, just not for work. I've been rowing since 2018 now, and my focus for it has always been to push myself and compete, and that's fine, but it can't be the only thing I do with my free time. Choral singing is something I also do in my free time, and from 2011-2018 I was competitive as I was being prepped to potentially go to a conservatoire. The current choir I'm in gives me space to grow and improve, but I'm not pushing myself to my limit every week- I enjoy the new pieces, but ultimately I just like being musical. Same goes for the odd times I play the cello when my college orchestra or a student musical is looking for a spare cellist- it's not something I'm looking necessarily to be the best at, it's just something I enjoy. On top of that, there's the things I do without the intention of ever trying to improve (with the assumption that the improvements will just come the more I do them)- this category includes cooking nice things, doing crosswords, and running. I'm not built as a runner- I have terrible knees and I'm built like someone who spends their spare time carrying around boats. I'm not looking to race anyone, and I'm not really even looking to get faster- I just enjoy getting out and running sometimes. Point is, you can have things outside of work that you compete in, but you need things that you enjoy doing and can improve in, as well as things you're not good at but enjoy. Don't let everything be ruled by perfectionism (sometimes it's ok to be crap at things!)

My mantra for this year is going to be how you do anything is how you do everything - think about what this means for you, and what you'd like to achieve. Do everything deliberately, and make sure you leave space for yourself in there.

Happy New Year!

[tythehedgehogheadcanons]

I think it's finally time I do my general Sonic headcanons! I've been on a huge Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow brainrot JADJAN

You can find my Shadow headcanons on my blog!

We all know Sonic, the lovable cocky hedgehog! He always seems to find himself in another scenario where he has to stop Robotnik's plans and help his friends

Sonic is one hell of an extrovert, bringing his happy-go-lucky personality everywhere he goes. He can get cocky and annoying at times, but I believe he is rather humble. He can brag, but he never strokes his own ego very much! ("Team Sonic" should still be named "Team Hero" smh)

Sonic always finds a way to bring his friend's spirits up, even if it means bailing on something else. If a friend is sad, he'll stay and cheer them up instead of going to an event! Everyone's happiness, including his own, is priority #1 for Sonic.

Sonic does get a little embarrassed by his friends in public though, he wants to keep his confident image, not look soft! However, this 'cool guy' facade completely drops the moment his friends look sad, angry, uncomfortable, etc.

Sonic loves going on runs through nature! He works so hard to protect every part of nature, he loves traveling to national parks and finding secret groves.

ALL About adventure! Boredom is never something on his schedule, if he's bored then the world is ending I swear, if you want to force him to sit down for a while he will become the most annoying little shit

Sonic most definitely has a twitch account and streams inconsistently. It's something there for him to do when he's bored and wants to play games.

Sonic actually hates being alone for long periods of time! That's another reason why he streams, is when he's lonely and wants to interact with someone.

Sonic is actually a rather patient hedgehog! He's willing to slow down for the people he cares about, he never wants anyone to feel unsafe around him.

Sonic, when you can actually get him to wear clothes, prefers 90s style, bright colors, hoodies, holographic clothes, and generally clothes that look great and colorful on him.

Sonic's music choice is rock, high-energy music, and generally anything that sounds good. He's willing to try out new things, and can enjoy a variety of things!

Sonic makes sure to greet everyone he meets when walking around. It doesn't matter what they look like, who they are, or what they're doing, he will make sure to say hi while running by!

As I said earlier, a HUGE extrovert. When you're with him, you WILL interact with random people, he doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut!

His mouth works faster than his brain, and he will say almost everything on his mind. He is forward and honest with everyone unless it's something he would prefer to keep to himself!

Sonic is very active on social media, and loves interacting with fans. He will respond to almost everything he gets, will always stop to take selfies with anyone who asks, and is the least controversial celebrity you will ever meet!

I think Sonic would enjoy receiving flowers and gifts, he would display them all around his house! He doesn't throw away a single one- unless it's something gross, like a small child tried to give him a half-eaten lollipop- he would still take it to avoid hurting their feelings but would throw it away and wash his hands later.

Two words. Self. Care. Sonic takes care of himself and makes sure to treat himself, and definitely makes sure all his friends do the same! He makes sure everyone eats at least 3 meals a day, drinks at least 1 glass of water, and takes showers at least twice a week. Self care is very important for everyone!

I may have missed a few things, but I really like Sonic as a whole! I'm an autistic person with ADHD and often forget to take care of myself due to hyperfixating on drawing all day. Thinking of Sonic actually gets me thinking of taking breaks to eat and drink, he's like a comfort character!

[kyotakumrau]

2021.04.06 a talk event at Meguro Rock-May-Kan film screening at Namba Hatch with Kyo and Shinya  - PART 1   Report by とあ on twitter (topics are not reported in order things happened, I mostly followed the order they posted, 1st and 2nd session bits are mixed together)   my comments go in (*…) 

Shinya entered the stage in black hoodie, both hands in his pockets. He also had hands in the pockets when he left the stage. Came with a drink. 

Kyo came on stage with his arms crossed. He drank some water soon after sitting down, I thought he started to play with the flyer but he made an airplane from it.   Q “To Die. Please tell us the secret of your youth.”  Kyo and Shinya face each other and laugh.  Kyo: Is it okay to imagine what Die is doing? I said that I quit McDonalds, right? Die also said he hasn’t had McD in years.  Fujieda: He also said he doesn’t eat ramen.  Kyo: and he doesn’t eat spicy food.  Kyo: Now he’s just eating, like tofu? Tofu or soybeans.  Shinya: he researched and knows a lot. Even when going on a diet in the past he found a good plan.  During the rapid question time they also answered another one for Die “I bought Die’s model guitar. Please tell me how can I get better” when reading Kyo answered “tooth guitar”.  I think it was when reading about this guitar? Kyo started laughing then Fujieda started laughing and for a bit they both faced each other laughing. 

  “Coffee”  Kyo: I drink it black. Even at home. Using beans from Starbucks. I drink 1~3 cups a day.  Fujieda: Kaldi’s coffee is also great. They have many types.  Kyo: If you say that they have many different types you have to try them to compare.  You don’t say this even though you didn’t drink them, right?  Fujieda: I tried quite a lot. There’s different one for each season. Now they sell sakura blend etc.  Kyo: Ah, then it’s fine. If you drank it.  Shinya: some years back I bought Nespresso coffee maker but I’ve only used it for 2 weeks. It’s still in my house.  Kyo (suddenly looking at Shinya): gimme! (くれ!)  Shinya: o, okay.  Kyo (turning to Fujieda looking happy): he said okay!  Kyo: Then I will give you a coupon to get that right side curl fixed. it caught my eye that looking from here that just the right side of your hair has this weird curl.  Shinya: No, it’s not weird...  Kyo: But I will give you a voucher to get that fixed.   

 “What’s your routine before the show?”  Both of them don’t have one  Kyo: Does anyone have?  Fujieda: Toshiya is doing muscle training.  Kyo: Ah... and doesn’t Die move around a lot?  Shinya: He does. Until the start he’s very restless.  Kyo: Right? Even when we all gather one is always going back and forth.    “Your favourite takoyaki”  Shinya: I don’t care. Even though I’m from Osaka I don’t really eat takoyaki. It is said that every household in Kansai will have a takoyaki machine but we didn’t. In the 20 years I lived there I only had like 5 octopus balls.  Kyo: That time when you were wearing that long earring? You only had 5? So what type?  Shinya: the one that is crispy outside and soft inside   

“A difficult song”  Shinya: Rinkaku. Because I need to keep kicking. It’s faster than Zan. The drum is nice but it totally kills my leg.  Kyo: DIFFERENT SENSE as I said before. I imagined a dialogue as it’s a heavy song when I made it, but when I didn’t get any response, I ended up having to sing all of it by myself so it’s really tiring. I tried control my breathing when swimming but I can’t.  Kyo: So in the end it’s like swimming the whole thing without breathing.  I was told by Kaoru to try pointing the mic [at fans], but all I get is ‘eh right now?’ (gestures pointing with his right arm) I get ‘eh here?’ The people in front of me try to respond, but the people on the sides (again points with his right arm) go ’eh? Eh? Here? (agitated) so I gave up. I don’t mind if it’s the wrong pitch, just put your feelings into it. 

 Kyo: I started playing Monster Hunter. On Switch.  Takabayashi: I’m also playing.  Kyo: Then let’s play together! (big grin)  Takabayashi: Okay.  Shinya: I bought it on the day DS got released, but I couldn’t understand the objective of the game after playing for a day so I didn’t feel like playing anymore.  Kyo: So you just started playing from zero by yourself? No one helped you saying what to do?  Shinya: Yup.  Kyo: If you told me I’d have helped you.  Shinya: So in the end what happens? What is the goal?  Kyo: there’s none.  Shinya: What?  Kyo: You just continue getting your level up.  Shinya: And for how long do you continue to play?  Kyo: There are people who continue playing until the next game comes out.  Shinya: Woah... 

 "What weapons you're using in Monster Hunter" Kyo: I'm using a bow. It might seem it's because it's huge, but I can attack from a distance and avoid being found. Make a shot from a distance, if you're found out you can run away. Direct confrontation is scary.

 “During the Osaka period what studio did you use?”  Kyo: Was it in Umeda?  Shinya: Yup.  Fujieda: What was the name?  Kyo: I don’t remember. Do you?  Shinya: Yes. It was M4　www.m4-studio.com  Kyo: That’s some memory.  Shinya: I booked it. I confirmed the date with 4 of you and called them. We made Karma and Aoi Tsuki there. 

 “About Oboro teaser”  Kyo: Could you see me? I only watched it on my phone so couldn’t tell what was what. 

 “Rock-May-KanGIG"  Shinya: there were many problems... no one around me [to help]. When my ear monitor fell out I had to fix it myself. And I made this rookie mistake of not pressing record on camera...  Kyo: We don’t remember things like that.  Kyo: Do you remember what you ate a month ago? You don’t right? It’s the same. You might remember that the main dish was shrimp but you won’t remember sides.  “About SOGAI in May”  Kyo: something that will happen in a month...Do you think about what you will be eating in a month?  Fujieda: But I think many fans are looking forward to it.  Kyo: I guess, but that’s because they’re going to enjoy the food. From the side of people who will be cooking you only start preparing about a week before, no?  Fujieda: So you will start feeling motivated a week before...  Kyo: Nope.  Fujieda: Shinya, do you think this analogy works?  Shinya: After hearing it I think so.   

“What are some food combinations that you find just wrong?” (*from other twitter reports the question had example like pineapple in sweet sour pork etc)  Shinya: as long as there’s no foods I dislike anything is okay.  Kyo: I don’t have any food like that, but but I hate when people mix different sports brands. Wearing adidas with Nike shoes and so on. When I see someone like that I want to tell them ‘could you not?’ 

 “What expensive item have you bought recently?” 

 Shinya: I’ve already answered this earlier. A camera. The camera itself was 40k and lens was 20k yen.  Kyo: What do you use the camera for?  Shinya: For recording and so on.  Kyo: What kind of [recording]?  Shinya: For youtube or Haiiro.  Kyo: Isn’t iPhone good enough for that?  Kyo: When I’m taking a photo I just pass my iPhone and ask someone.  Fujieda: I was given a camera for taking photos, but after about 15 minutes I was told to use iPhone in the end.  Kyo: Do you know what was different?  Fujieda: I didn’t.  Kyo: (*going back to the main question) an expensive item... Nike and Garcons sneakers I guess. They were about 20k yen.　(*Pegasus?)  I’m drinking coffee while looking at the sneakers. 

“Do you prefer indoor or outdoor festivals?”  Shinya: If it’s daytime then indoor. It would be too bright outdoor in daytime.  Kyo: I hate insects so indoor. Weren’t there so many insects when you had plants? Fujieda: Speaking of insects, don't they get into your mouth when you ride a bike? Kyo: You ride a bike with an open mouth? Silly kid. Fujieda: Instead of having open mouth, it's like there's suddenly an insect in your mouth, when it crashes into you. Kyo: Riding a bike with an open mouth is silly. Why, are you singing? Fujieda: Sometimes I do, actually. Kyo: If you're singing while riding that's okay, if you just have your mouth open while riding that's silly.  

 "About SOGAI in May"  Shinya: We're working on the setlist, it will be great.  Kyo: That's why I don't want you to ask me about a concert in a month. Don't ask me questions about concerts next year. I won't answer.   

 "What's a good place in Hirakata?"  Shinya: Hira pa (Hirakata Park) and TSUTAYA, right? TSUTAYA is where I was born.  Fujiefa: Eh? Really? I didn't know.  Kyo: if in Tokyo you say Hirapa no one will understand   Kyo: Do you know? (looks at Shinya) when you just come in and there's a place with dogs Shinya: Like real dogs?  Kyo: Yeah. There are about 20 dogs, but all are so tired. Lifeless as if they were abused. Of course they weren't abused, but it's a place where you can spend some time with dogs but they are so tired, so lifeless and tired that it's almost a shame they are kept there.  (*I think he's talking about Doubutsu Hug Hug Town) 

  "What hotel facilities do you find exciting?"  Shinya: ...for example?  Fujieda: ehm...  Kyo: This is not something exciting, but. You know in a shower? When you don't know if you're supposed to move the handle up or down? Maybe this way? And then when you move it the water suddenly comes out from above! (Shinya nods)  Fujieda: That's criminal! Was it hot?  Kyo: First water came out, but when I turned the handle the water suddenly poured from above, I got totally soaked. How do you use that?  Shinya: there are some places where water comes out in 3 places instead of 2.  Fujieda: Criminal!  Fujieda: Anything exciting?  Shinya: Like?  Fujieda: Like a big tv.  Shinya: I don't watch TV.  Dujieda: That's true, you don't. How about a very good pillow?  Shinya: I don't care.  Kyo: And the shower [head]! Just from one hole the water goes in a strange direction, there's nothing stuck there, just water, but just this one spot. What's that about?  (Shinya continued to nod while smiling)  

 "To Shinya. What time did you wake up today?"  Shinya: Around 1. At night.  Fujieda: What time did you go to bed?  Shinya: I think about 10pm.  Fujieda: You almost didn't sleep at all.  Kyo: Aren't you an old man now!  (*🤣🤣🤣🤣) 

 "What toothpaste and toothbrush are you using?"  Kyo: Any toothpaste is okay, but I prefer small toothbruses. Because I have very complex teeth. Like a maze. You get lost there. That's why I choose a tothbrush with a small head, has good reach.  Shinya: I'm using a toothpaste from overseas with an M, any brush is okay for me. But I use one with water coming out of it.  Fujieda: Is it electric?  Shinya: Yes.  Fujieda: Is it painful?  Shinya: Well sometimes it gets a bit bloody.  Kyo: You're really into it (laughing) to keep using it even if you're bleeding. 

  Kyo is watching The world unknown to Matsuko every week (depends on the episode but it's interesting), when finishing the 2nd sessiin event Shinya said 'go straight home and from 8:57 watch The world unknown to Matsuko'. It already started and it seems [dir] appeared there.  

 "Where do you want to tour besides Tokyo-Nagoya-Osaka?"  Shinya: Somewhere we still haven't been to... where was it?  Takabayashi: ehm... Shimane, Wakayama, Saga.  Shinya: There.  Kyo: Kyoto. Kyoto is good. Kyoto is the best. Even now I'd love to [have an event] in Kyoto instead. Kyoto is the best or, I want to become Kyoto.  

 "What animals do you like in the zoo?"  Kyo: ehm... sheep I guess. I want to look at them or hold them.  Shinya: Animals you don't see in everyday life like giraffes, elephants or lions. 

"What do you like in an amusement park?"  Kyo: I guess the haunted house? Yeah, haunted house. It's okay when people try to scare me. It's not scary. I'm laughing all the time.  Fujieda: So you can enjoy FujiQ no problem?  Kyo: I haven't been, but I think it's fine? I would be fine bringing a sheep with me I guess? Going in while stroking the fluffy sheep.  Shinya: Ferris Wheel.  Fujieda: How about the thrilling ones? Shinya: I don't like them. Fujieda: So Ferris Wheels for Shinya, understood.

 "About shooting Oboro PV"   Shinya: It was tough. Kyo: You say that? Say that to ME?? Shinya: Well, you were shooting naked. The green stuff got all over my clothes and cleaning that took ages. Kyo: Ah, I guess. But you could've gotten it dry cleaned, no? Shinya: It was a fabric that cannot be dry cleaned. I couldn't remove it in the end so I gave it to Fujieda. Kyo: You did? You got it? Fujieda: Yeah, I passed it to the person who designed the costume. Kyo: I see... Shinya: And the floor was very cold. Kyo: You say that?!?!?! Fujieda: Were you okay, Kyo? Kyo: Yeah... I'm a pro in the end. Fujieda: Oh (claps) Kyo: Are you mocking me? Looking down on me? Fujieda: No! Not at all! I clapped because I think that's great! Kyo: No, you're defnitely looking down on me. It's the same as the 'whats your salary like?' 'this much' 'oh'.

 tbc

[shoichee]

Hey luv! I just got my braces off and I don’t know if I like myself with or without them cause yah girl has ✨confidence issues✨ so can you do the GoM + Kagami and Teppei thanks my savior

OH, rn i have braces too (although they’re ceramic and harder to see) but I definitely can understand the apprehension when you have them taken off after for so long;; 

the amount of characters requested actually exceed the rules, but since i’ve taken a while to get to your request, i’ll still do them but they will be shorter^^ THANK YOU FOR STICKING BY THIS BLOG AND READING MY STUFF <3

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

right away, he notices that something was amiss with you, and asks upfront if anything was bothering you

you replied hesitantly, but while you talked you held up a hand in front of your mouth:

“Um… I don’t know if I like how I look right now…”

Kuroko stares at your nervous eyes and then looks down to your hand in front of your mouth before asking why

“Just got my braces off, and I feel a bit… weird without them? I feel like I look strange without them…”

“Do you mind if I see you?” he asks, softening his eyes at you

“W-Well… you’re not someone to judge, I know, but don’t… laugh or anything.”

“I won’t, (y/n)-san.”

he slowly brings your hand down and you slowly smile to reveal your teeth to him, and he gives you the purest smile… and that catches you off guard so badly like… YOUR TEETH GOT HIM TO SMILE LIKE THAT??? DAMN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SMILE EVERY SECOND TO SEE SUCH A TREASURE—

“(y/n)-san, I think you look wonderful,” he muses, bringing your same hand that was in front of your mouth into his own hand with a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure everyone who sees you will think the same.”

ah Kuroko, the individual who has a knack in comforting people with his genuity (example: see Momoi)

whenever you do have those moments of self-consciousness again, he’s always there to calmly reassure you otherwise

Kise Ryouta

IMMEDIATELY sees your teeth when you talk, and freaks out like a little kid on Christmas

“(y/n)-cchi! (y/n)-cchi!!” he hoots around, pointing at his own teeth. “You got your braces off today! You look amazing!”

when you hesitate and tell him that you’re not so sure about yourself without your braces, he pinches your cheek and gives a little dramatic huff

“But (y/n)-cchi…! Come onnnn, trust me!” he says, giving a signature pout, and you laugh at his antics

“Ohhh, do that again! Do that again!” (he craves for your laughs, and he wants more)

he definitely tries to get you to smile and laugh to get you more comfortable with your braceless teeth

whether you have braces or not, he doesn’t mind so much because what he really cares about is your smile, and if he sees your teeth showing, braces or without, it means that he knows he’s doing a good job in making you comfortable and happy

while he showers you in praises every single moment, when you feel really down, he takes an extra measure or two to cuddle you gently while being much softer in delivering those compliments

always gives a daily compliment to give you a serotonin boost

Midorima Shintarou

he’s confused… why would you be upset that you got your braces off? you looked great before and even now, so does the fact of braces really change your perception of your appearance that much?

he won’t make any comment on your new appearance unless you bring it up to him and ask for his opinion/reassurance

he’s just happy for you that you have another milestone of your life, and not to mention, braces generally promote better oral health and fix misaligned bites

“Hm? What do I think of how you look? D-Don’t be ridiculous… What am I supposed to say?”

“Well, I just… think I look a little odd… I kind of… want my braces back.”

“You know you can’t do that, nanodayo,” he sighs. “So much money, effort, and care were invested into your teeth for many years. You did the most you could to take care of them and achieved the goal you set out for yourself when you first got braces, correct? That isn’t something to be ashamed of, nanodayo.”

despite his lecturing, his words do have some merit, and Midorima’s words were comforting in his own way

“But Midorima, um… sorry for annoying you,” you say, giving a chagrined smile

Midorima takes a good look at your exposed teeth for the first time and widens his eyes in a fluster before turning his eyes back to his astrology book

“I-I-It’s nothing.”

bonus: he’s definitely that one fussy parent who forces you to wear your retainers religiously, NO EXCUSES—he doesn’t want the whole process to be all for naught just because you got lazy in wearing a simple metal thing

Aomine Daiki

idiot #1

“Whoa, your teeth look different,” is something he would say tactlessly

immediately, you slapped your hands over your mouth at his words

forgive him, he usually says what’s on his mind with no filter and consideration

by then, he’d realized that the tone of his words was poorly delivered and would try to correct himself before he says anything more to dig himself a deeper grave

“Er, sorry, what I mean is… I didn’t know you were gonna have them off today…”

that actually made you more self-conscious and you try to flee from the scene

“W-Wait, hey!”

insert Aomine clumsily explaining that he didn’t mean to be tactless with his words and that he just meant that he was surprised in a good way

definitely shows you a lot more wholesome affection in addition to his usual PDA, but you wonder what he thought about your new “appearance,” so to speak

“What kinda question is that?” he scoffs. “You’re still hot and always will be.”

if there’s one sure benefit to his blunt words, it’s that his straightforwardness can easily dispel all your doubts and clear up any misunderstandings in one go

if you’re still doubtful about yourself, he’ll gladly resort to action to prove his point… perhaps makeout sessions with him would become a lot more exploratory and… just putting it out there, but we will leave this up to your imagination

anywho, he’s not afraid to give you more direct kisses to try to show you that he doesn’t care about your teeth and your lack of braces

definitely would tell out-of-pocket jokes and laugh more to get you to grow comfortable; after all, smiling is contagious right? who can resist Aomine’s smile???

if someone tried to make you uncomfortable by drawing everyone’s attention nearby in how you got your braces off, whether intentional or not, he’s scaring them away, no questions asked and he’s taking you away from the scene

Murasakibara Atsushi

“Oh…” he says with his usual drawl. “You got them off, Chibi-chin?”

it was a usual day with him tucking his own head into his arms to nap on the table when you walked up to him apprehensively, and he immediately notices your presence but lazily picks up his head to look at you when he noticed

“Er… yeah…”

he slightly tilts his head to the side like an inquisitive child to silently question what was wrong

“It’s nothing really! Just feeling tired… not in the talkative mood today.” as you said this, he noticed that you were more… tight-lipped, speaking in a quieter manner as if you were trying not to show your teeth as much as possible

he beckons a languid hand over and you reluctantly sit by his side, your face still slightly turned away

you thought he was just going to go back to sleep like he always does, but imagine your surprise when he easily picks you up from the side and placed you on his lap, face-to-face

Murasakibara then pulls your cheeks apart, revealing your pearly whites to him

“H-H-Hey!! Lert… gorw!”

“Don’t wanna.”

“I’m… serwious!”

he stares at you impassively for a few moments before he suddenly lets your cheeks go and yawns

“... you look fine, Chibi-chin,” he mumbles, and he sets you off his lap before getting up with a stretch. “Besides, now that you don’t have braces anymore, you can finally eat whatever you want right…?”

“I… guess I can…”

and he’s already reaching for your hand to tug you to the nearest takeout with a slight shine of excitement in his dark pupils

“Chibi-chin, we can finally eat those candy apples together you’ve always craved for, lots and lots…”

he’s very fixated on you eating with your braceless teeth for the next few weeks with a small smile on his face, because you enjoying the food you eat are some of the simplest joys he loves when he’s with you (and you hadn’t been able to do that because your braces forbidden you from eating a list of things)

definitely drags you out for food outings a lot more for the next few weeks

he tries his best in trying to make you not think about your teeth and your self-consciousness about them in his roundabout way (note: see his cheek pulling, distracting you with your favorite snacks, etc.)

he’s not someone to make any deal out of it because worrying over such a trivial thing is annoying to him, but nonetheless he certainly wants to make sure that nothing is bothering you because that’s the greatest inconvenience (since he doesn’t like to see you in such a state)… you being upset and worried makes him upset and worried, after all

Akashi Seijuro

he immediately understands that feeling of self-doubt/self-consciousness, but nonetheless he compliments you to let you know that he truly finds you desirable/beautiful inside and out

still, words alone sometimes don’t convince you and even when he gives physical affection to comfort you, there’s still that nagging feeling of how you felt about your teeth

and he’s totally okay with that, and he knows that feeling very well himself (regarding having inner voices that taunt him)

rather than constantly hammering in compliments because he knows that at some point they’d feel more disingenuous the more he says them, he offers you to help overcome the self-consciousness on your own terms

Akashi offers the suggestion of wearing face masks (not necessarily the surgical ones, but the cute/plain colored masks you’d see around!) if you have certain days where you feel low about your braceless teeth

he’d be quite sly and teasing all the while; whenever you wear your cute mask for the day, he’d be a lot more affectionate with the PDA and give pecks on your lips… but the mask is always in the way, preventing you from feeling actual contact with his own lips

he can tell you’d definitely get pouty when you don’t really feel those kisses and he simply laughs and walks on

“You…! I know you only try to kiss me when I have the mask on! Don’t play dumb with me!”

“Hm? Is it really a crime for me to show physical affection to the person I love?”

he eventually does help you coax you out and become comfortable, and your face masks would eventually be stored away in a drawer

he rewards you for being strong in overcoming your own doubts:

“To celebrate your strength in overcoming a huge milestone, what would you like your reward to be?”

“For starters, give me back all those kisses you tried to give me throughout all the times I wore a mask!”

“Of course,” he chuckles, moving closer to your lips. “How could I ever resist you when you’re this stunning?”

Kagami Taiga

idiot #2 (see idiot #1)

unlike idiot #1, idiot #2 doesn’t notice the change on your teeth, at all

he doesn’t know why you’re fidgeting around or acting really, really strange… were you hungry? upset at him for something he didn’t realize he did wrong?

so after a few days after you got your braces off, he finally asks:

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”

poor guy doesn’t know if he was at fault or if he was missing something, and he physically holds his head to try to recall EVERYTHING for the past week

you reassure him that it wasn’t anything like that, but you still had furrowed brows and you were very careful in how you were talking

Kagami thinks you haven’t eaten and offers to make dinner, but eating in front of him for some reason really didn’t sound like a good idea to you so you declined

you’ll eventually tell him that you just felt a bit self-conscious after your braces got taken off

“Huh?”

he stares at your teeth for a very long time, and you immediately regret it, not wanting to draw his attention to you like that

he snaps out of his intense daze and immediately apologizes for making you uncomfortable

“M-My bad… I just didn’t notice until you told me.”

“Really?” you ask, slightly relieved that the change wasn’t as drastic as you thought it would be

“Er, yeah…” he mumbles, scratching his cheek, “you look good, by the way…” but by the time he finished his compliment, it came out as a cough

you can only laugh in relief, knowing that everything he says is always earnest and sincere

Kiyoshi Teppei

definitely noticed that your braces were off, but pretends to not notice until you bring it up yourself because he’s quite sharp and in tune with other people’s emotions

so he treats you like he always does, being the sweet “airhead” that he is, and he waits until you bring it up yourself (because he knows how self-conscious you were about your lack of braces)

you yourself are confused… like… was Teppei actually dense? was your whole inner dilemma not a big deal like your mind thought it would be?

you tug on his sleeve one day and ask him if he noticed your teeth, pointing to them all the while

and he immediately chastises himself (“silly me”) for not noticing, and he tells you that you were beautiful either way, and whether you had braces or not didn’t change that inherent fact (and that was his “reason” for not noticing to reassure you)

all while giving his easy going chuckles and ruffling your hair

laughs at your shyness at his words, not because it’s funny or anything but he truly finds you adorable

once you get comfortable without giving a second thought about your braces gone, he just drops the truth bomb on you so casually like:

“Ahhhh (y/n)-san,” he sighs in nostalgia. “You were really cute when you were so shy about getting them off, you know that?”

“Now wait a second…”

“Hm?”

“What did you say?”

“That you’re really cute.”

“No, no, the other part.”

“Whenever you get shy.”

“That is not what I mean and you know that—”

“Aww, you’re being really cute right now, (y/n)-san. Don’t tempt me to carry you around when I just finished with my physical therapy.”

[plaidbooks]

Hey 🥰 could I request working with Sonny and you two used to date but broke up, you remained friends but never really got over each other and your end up going through a pretty bad time with work or personal stuff and you’re struggling mentally and not eating etc and when he realises he comes over to your place to check ur ok and you just breakdown and he tells u he still loves u and that it’ll always be u 🥺

Some Space

A/N: I am so sorry that this took so long! I was so burnt out of writing, but I'm here now! I hope that this makes up for the wait!

This takes place before Sonny joins SVU--and his timeline is a little wonky to make this fic work, but oh well.

Tags: death, shootings, blood, disassociation

Words: 2590

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl @glimmerglittergirl @joanofarkansass @redlipstickandplaid @reading--mermaid @dreamlover31 @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell

“So, do you wanna move in together?” Sonny asked while you cuddled on his couch. You turned to look at him, and his face fell as he saw your expression. “…you don’t?”

You sighed. “It’s not like I don’t love you, Sonny, because I do. It’s just…I mean, we’re still in our mid-20s. I want a little more, uh, freedom before I settle down, you know?”

“I’ve known since we started dating in high school that I was in for the long term. I was thinking of maybe…I don’t know, getting married…having kids…. Now that we’ve settled into patrol, I thought it would be the perfect time to take the next step,” he muttered.

You sat in silence, debating. You loved Sonny, and you did want to marry him…someday. Not right now. You’ve barely lived any of your life; hell, you lived at home still. Sonny had his own apartment, but you didn’t want to go from living with your parents to living with him. You wanted space, time to figure out who you really were. And you didn’t think you could do that with Sonny. If he couldn’t give you your independence, if you both wanted different things, then you were going to have to break up with him, as much as it would break your heart to do it.

“Listen, Sonny, I need to live my own life for a little bit, discover myself. I-it’s nothing wrong with you, I promise—”

“Are you breaking up with me?” he asked softly.

Hearing the words out loud made tears form in your eyes. “I…yes, I guess I am. At least until I find myself…. I’m so sorry, Sonny. I’ll always care about you. We can still be friends?”

“Y-yeah…okay, sure. I…yeah…” he trailed off, unwrapping his arms from around you. You both sat there awkwardly, and the tension was thick. You stood, moving to grab your jacket, and Sonny followed you to the front door.

“This isn’t…goodbye. I promise you, Sonny Carisi. It’s just—”

“See you later?” he finished.

You gave him a smile, and a kiss on the cheek. “Yeah. I’ll see you later.”

*****************************

That was months ago now, and you had transferred out of Staten Island patrol, unable to see Sonny every day, those big, sad blue eyes trying to avoid your gaze. Now, you worked for Brooklyn, an officer in their Homicide department. You settled in quickly, and you found a cheap-ish apartment in Brooklyn.

It was nice living by yourself, and you highly enjoyed it. You missed Sonny dearly, but you thought it was too soon to reach out. Your heart still strained when you thought about the breakup, so you kept your distance. But it was getting easier and easier to let those feelings fade away in your new line of work. Brooklyn Homicide was a lot busier than Staten patrol, and you got along great with your partner, Drew Zimmer.

“We keep making these busts, and we’re gonna make detective in no time,” Drew said, grinning at you.

You smiled back as you shoved a cuffed perp in the backseat of your squad car. “Then we get paid halfway decently for doing much of the same as we are now.”

“Plus, normal clothes! Not this suffocating police uniform.”

You agreed, then moved to the front seat, Drew sliding in behind the steering wheel. You and Drew were close, but you never crossed a line. He was engaged to his high school sweetheart, something that made you slightly sad. Sonny was your high school sweetheart, and you wondered how different your life would’ve been if you moved in with him.

*************************

As Drew predicted, you both made detective later that year. You were officially the youngest detective, having moved up the ranks so quickly. You both went out for drinks to celebrate, and you had the wild impulse to invite Sonny. It had been almost a year since you broke up, and you could finally think about it without tearing up. But would he be okay with it? You fought the idea, putting your phone back in your pocket.

“Everything okay?” Drew asked, seeing the look on your face.

You shot him a fake smile. “Fine, fine. Just…thinking. Don’t worry about it.”

He gave you a hard, knowing look, as if he could read your mind. You had told him about Sonny, but you didn’t want to bring the celebration down. Instead, you took your glass and cheers him before taking a sip.

You jumped when your phone rang, and you pulled it out of your pocket. Your Captain’s name flashed across the screen, and you answered with a brisk voice. Drew watched and listened, then sighed when you said that you were both on your way.

“What do we got?” he asked, putting money on the table and standing.

You pulled your jacket on, heading for the door. “Body found in Prospect Heights. You okay to drive?”

“Sober as a fox.”

*************************

You both showed up quickly, seeing the officers who called in the body. Drew parked, and you made your way over. One of the officers started walking you both through the details when a gunshot rang out from down the alley that the body was in. Instinct took over as you hid behind a wall of the building, grabbing the closest officer to you and pulling them with you. Gunshots echoed in the alleyway as someone—or someones—unloaded on the entrance to the alley.

Drew was on the other side of the alleyway, and one of the officers was flat on their back, blood leaking from a bullet hole in their head. You ordered the officer next to you to call for backup, then waited until the gunfire stopped. Taking a chance, you snuck a quick peak. There were three individuals at the end of the alley, making their way quickly towards you.

You motioned to Drew, letting him know, before you reached your hand around the corner, firing blindly in an attempt to at least slow their advance. With the cover fire, Drew came halfway around the wall, actually aiming his gun as he fired.

“You got one of them,” he informed you. He got a few shots off before a bullet went through his neck, knocking him off his feet.

“Drew!” you screamed before whipping around the wall, shooting with deadly precision. There was only one man still standing—Drew must’ve got one before going down—and you shot him quickly. Then you dropped to your knees by Drew’s rasping form. You ripped off your jacket, pressing it to the bloody wound.

“Stay with me Drew, do you hear me? You have a fiancée to go home to,” you ordered, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. “Call a bus!” you yelled at the officer, who was staring in shock.

Drew reached up, grabbing your wrist. “T-tell Steph I—I love her…please,” he gasped, voice weak.

“You’re going to tell her yourself when you see her, okay?” you said, trying to smile at him.

He shook his head. “Tell her…please. I-I—” Drew let out a death rattle before laying still.

“No! No! Live, damn you! You can’t die on me, Drew! W-we’re partners!” you screamed. But he was gone. Tears spilled down your cheeks as you leaned over him.

Time meant nothing as you knelt there. You had no idea when the ambulance arrived, nor when your Captain showed up. You’re not sure who moved you away from Drew’s lifeless body, and you didn’t notice how you ended up at the hospital. You were still covered in Drew’s blood as the nurses ran tests, making sure you were uninjured. Your Captain ordered you to take time off, and you didn’t hear him, didn’t argue. You blinked and you were home, sitting on your couch, a bottle of whiskey in front of you.

***************************

IAB had been delayed by your Captain, but eventually, you had to face them. You couldn’t recall what they asked, or what you answered. The first emotion you felt in days was fleeting anger; the body that you had been called to investigate was left as bait. The men who shot at you, who killed your partner and an officer, were part of a gang, attempting to become cop killers. It was all a ruse to kill whichever cops arrived on the scene. Drew, one of the nicest, most genuine people you’ve known, was killed for street cred. But your anger soon disappeared, just like everything else.

***************************

It had been a week since Drew died in your arms. You visited his fiancée—she had already been informed of her love’s death—but you had to see her, pass on his final words. You held her as she cried, but you had no tears left. You felt nothing; you were just a shell. You stopped eating, stopped showering, stopped drinking, even water. You stopped sleeping; you just passed out nowadays, at any and all times of the day, wherever you happened to be laying. Your Captain called you a few times, trying to get you into therapy, but you never left your apartment.

One night, there was a knock on your door. You moved on phantom feet, unlocking and pulling your door open. You felt a dull punch to the gut as Sonny stood on your doorstep.

“H-hey doll…. I heard about your partner, and I thought I’d check up on you,” he said softly.

You nodded, not even attempting to fake a smile. “I’m fine,” you said in a monotone voice, ready to close the door on him. But Sonny was quicker.

“No, you’re not.” And with that, he pushed into your home. “When was the last time you’ve eaten? Washed? Brushed your teeth? Anything?”

You had no answer for him, and he quickly went to your kitchen, pulling open your fridge. Normally, you’d follow him, but instead, you went and collapsed on your couch, your legs unable to hold you up anymore.

Sonny came out with a glass of water. “Drink that,” he ordered, then stood there until you did. “Most of your food has gone bad; I’m going to run to the store. While I’m gone, I want you to shower, okay?”

You didn’t nod, made no indication that you had heard him. He ran a hand through his hair, hating seeing you like this.

“Okay…if you can shower, please do. Otherwise, just at least…drink another glass of water, okay?” He took the glass from your hand, refilled it, then came back and handed it to you. “I’ll be right back.”

You were unsure for how long he was gone; you dimly heard him come back. Sonny went to your kitchen with full grocery bags, and soon, the sounds and smells of cooking emanated from within. He came out soon after—or maybe it was longer, who knows?—with a plate of food.

When he noticed the full glass of water in your hand still, he shook his head, then sat next to you. You didn’t fight him as he fed you small bites, nor as he raised the glass of water to your lips. You tasted nothing as you ate half the plate. Sonny was afraid to make you sick with too much food at once, so he put the rest back in the kitchen. Then, he pulled you to the bathroom. He undressed you, then himself, before guiding you into the shower. The hot water brought you partly to your senses, just enough to feel Sonny’s hands washing your hair and body.

“You may have to get your hair cut short—it’s pretty damaged from lack of care,” he muttered, trying to work the knots out with his fingers. You nodded gently, letting him care for you. Once done, he wrapped you in a towel, patting you dry. Then, he took your toothbrush and put paste on it before handing it to you, lifting your hand to your mouth.

“Brush,” he softly ordered, and you did.

After finishing up in the bathroom, Sonny tugged you to your room, where he dressed you in your pajamas. Then he pushed you down into the bed.

“Sleep, okay? I’ll stay here with you until you fall asleep,” he promised.

You laid on the pillow, and fresh tears came to your eyes. “He died in my arms,” you muttered.

Sonny’s expression softened. “I heard, doll. There was nothing more you could’ve done. Just rest now.”

As promised, he sat next to you until you drifted off, your hand in his.

*******************************

Sonny practically moved in with you after that, just until you could take care of yourself. He took you to a therapist, and a hair salon. He made you meals and made sure you drank water. At first, he would shower with you and made sure you brushed your teeth; those were the two things you started doing yourself the quickest. It took you a few weeks to break out of the shock-induced disassociation you were experiencing. Eventually, you started helping Sonny cook in your kitchen, and doing small chores around your apartment.

“Thank you, Sonny, for everything,” you said one night while you were eating dinner.

He smiled at you. “Of course, doll. I care about you.”

“I care about you, too. I—I should’ve called you earlier. I was just afraid that it was too soon.”

His smile faltered slightly. “I understand. I…it’s probably still too soon….”

“What do you mean?”

Sonny put his fork down, looking everywhere but at you. “Look, I’ve…I thought that enough time had passed, especially when I heard about your partner—” you flinched at the mention of Drew— “but when you opened the door and I saw how much it affected you, I realized that…I still love you, have always loved you. You were literally wasting away, and I couldn’t stand by and watch.”

You froze, not in shock at him, but at yourself. Because hearing the words out loud, you knew that you loved him, too.

“I’m sorry; you don’t need this right now. The last thing you need on your mind is—”

“I love you, too, Sonny. God, I love you so much,” you replied, throwing your arms around him, and leaning against his side.

He hesitated a moment before he wrapped an arm around your back. “Are ya sure? You’re going through some pretty traumatic stuff right now. Your emotions going a little haywire.”

“I’m sure. I-I was afraid to call you because I couldn’t handle seeing you. Because I never got over you.”

Sonny nodded. “I never got over you, either. Look, if you still want your space, I can live with that, as long as I don’t lose you again. I never want to lose you again.”

“I don’t want to lose you, either. I love you; I want to marry you one day. Let’s just…see how it goes, okay? I’ve learned a lot just in the year we’ve been apart—”

He cut you off with a kiss, his lips soft against yours. He felt so familiar, so much like home, and you realized how much you had really missed him. You kissed him back, holding him to you. He leaned his forehead against yours, lips brushing over yours.

“We’ll figure out the details later. Right now, I just want to get to know you again,” he breathed.

You nodded. “Please, yes. I want to remember you, Dominick.”

He pulled you closer, promising his whole self to you in a searing kiss.

[oh-my-may]

Osamu, Bokuto, Oikawa and Sakusa forgetting an important date

requested: hc of osamu bokuto oikawa and sakusa forgetting an important date like an anniversary

This got a little sad, especially Bokutos one (I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop myself)... I apologize if it’s not as angsty as you wanted it though, but as I said, I don’t really like writing angst right now

Miya Osamu:

He normally never forgets important dates

Even for your 3 month and 9 month anniversary he made you your favourite meal and made sure you both were feeling all happy and in love

But now it was your 2 year anniversary, you were out of High School and things just began to be busy

Both of you were at university the whole day, both of you working simultaneously to get some extra money

And it was all just very stressful

You returned home earlier than him and set up the table, made a nice meal etc.

In the morning he was acting like usual, though you expected some more kisses and hugs in bed, but you brushed it off, thinking he was just tired then

When the door to your apartment finally opened you jumped up fromn the table and greeted him with a bright smile, expecting flowers or some other small gift because that’s what he usually does

But now he just looked tired, as his eyes scanned your face with a questioning look

In a matter of seconds you realized that he had actually forgotten and you couldn’t stop your stomach from dropping and the hurt expression on your face

“What’s wrong, darling?”

You gulp, fighting against the lump in your throat and tears forming in your eyes. “Happy anniversary, Samu.”

His expression immediately drops, all colour draining from his face. “Oh my god, Y/N, I’m so sorry-” he begins, but you wave a hand, still fighting against the pain. You wanted today to be something special, especially after the stressful time earlier this year.

It was fine, though. You were just really hurt right now. “Food is on the table.”, you manage to say before turning around and vanishing in the bedroom.

Osamu finds himself transfixed, not being able to move or even say anything after seeing your hurt expression. Eventually, he’s able to move again and he walsk straight up to the bedroom door, knocking.

He leans against it, talking and apologizing until you let him in after you calmed down.

You talk about it for a while, listening to each other and understanding, still being able to enjoy the rest of the night

Bokuto Koutarou:

Bokuto was never good with remembering things to begin with

He really tried his best, but sometimes it was just hard for him

And it was fine with you, you were never really one to set value on things like that, you didn’t like big celebrations to begin with, you were simply not that comfortable with that much attention

You had Koutarou to balance you out

But you thought at least with him your birthday could be something special, maybe he would even cancel practice for a day

But what you didn’t expect was no reaction at all on your birthday. No text waiting for you in the morning, no card or letter waiting on the table or in the mailbox. And when you got to school, all your friends were swarming around you, but Bokuto was nowhere in sight.

You didn’t even see him until after school, when you went to the gym to look for him. Of course you found him there at practice, concentrated on his attacks he was working on. Akaashi recognized your first, a welcoming smile on his lips.

He immediately joggs over to you, Bokuto not watching either of you as he was talking to his Coach. “Y/N! Happy Birthday!” Akaashi cheers and you watch how Bokutos head snaps in your direction, his eyes widened in shock and you realize that it was true. He forgot about your birthday.

You watch as he starts to sprint through the whole and pushes Akaashi aside, immediately grabbing for your hand. “Y/N, oh my god I’m so sorry.”

You pull your hands out of his grip, looking at him with an unmoves expression, though on the inside you were fuming. “Oh, really? Is that so?”

Bokuto begins to panic, his heart racing in fear. “Y/N, you know I’m not good at remembering stuff I-”

“We are in a relationship, Koutarou! How many times have you told me that I am the most important person in your life?” You freeze for a second, realizing that the whole gym was silent and watching as their captain was quivering in fear and panic. But that didn’t stop you from being hurt. Not today. “Maybe you should get your priorities straight, since volleyball is still more important.”

It hurts to say these words, but they are out before you can stop yourself. Bokuto reaches for your hand one more time, but you run out of the gym, tears already rolling down your face.

Bokuto finds himself in something even worse than his emo mode now, but he is determined to get out of it and get things right again, because he really can’t imagine life without you.

Oikawa Tooru:

Normally, Oikawa was the best boyfriend.

He was very considerate, always remebered stuff you didn’t, never made you uncomfortable and just always made you feel good about yourself

But since he was in Brazil, things have started to become more difficult, the different time zones and distance making it hard for both of you

But you made it work, somehow. Facetime and Skype were your life saviors and once you even managed to visit him and it was the best time ever.

But today, on your 2 year anniversary, you found yourself wondering if Tooru, for the first time since ever, forgot about it.

Of course, there was a 12hour time difference between you, but you still expected a small text or something like that. Instead, there was nothing.

And at first you were fine with it, since it was night time in Brazil and he was probably sleeping. But as it got later and later, you began to worry.

So without further ado you picked up the phone and called him and were surprised when he picked up immediately. “Hey babe, what’s up?”

You’re speechless for a second. “Oh, I was just wondering if something was wrong.”

“Oh, it’s just a really busy day why are you- oh.” The other end is silent for quite a while as Oikawa realizes why you really called. “Are you mad at me that I forgot? I’m sorry, I just got lost in all the work and training-”

“It’s fine, Tooru.” You sigh. Maybe this would have hurt a year ago but now you know him good enough to know he didn’t mean harm and that he was probably more hurt than you right now. “Just come home quickly, yeah? I cannot wait to see you again.”

You hear a relieved sound coming from his end. “Yes, I promise my love. I love you and I’ll call you in a few hours, is that all right?”

Sakusa Kiyoomi:

Sakusa has always been the more careful one in your relationship. He remembered dates and anniversaries very easily, though both of you never made a very big deal out of it. Maybe you went out for dinner or made a nice meal at home (which he preferred) and add in some extra cuddles and quality time compared to usual.

And it was fine like this, until he was gone for a good three weeks, travelling through cities for games. You couldn’t see ach other so you looked forward to him returning home, since it was also the day of your birthday and you couldn’t wait to have him back in your arms.

So when the door rattled as he got in you immediately jumped up and greeted him with a big smile. He took off his mask and just pressed you close to his body, for a second not caring about him bringing in all the germs. He murmured a few “I missed you”s into your hair but you were a little surprised when none of his words came even close to congratulations.

Of course you didn’t expect a lot, but usually some of these words and some extra kisses were his way of congratulating you. You felt a little stitch in your heart as you realized maybe Kiyoomi had forgotten about your birthday, being too busy with travelling and playing volleyball.

As he took a long shower you took the small cake you made out of the fridge and started to eat it with a small pout on your face.

When Sakusa returned and found you laying on the couch with the cake on your lap, literally stabbing into it with the biggest pout on your lips he has ever seen. And finally, it clicks and he feels so bad.

“Y/N...” He walks up to you, an apologetic look on his face. He just sits down next to you as he takes your hand in his and takes the fork out of your other one, spiking a part of the cake and feeding you with it.

“I know words won’t fix it, I just want you to know that I’m sorry. Are you very sad about it?”

You just sigh and look at him, leaning back. “I understand it was a busy day for you, so it’s fine.”

“It’s late now, but I prome we’ll do something fun tomorrow, I’ll even ditch practice.”

[anthropwashere]

thank u for the tags yelling at us youths to sit up straight. im only 23 but disabled and my back is about the only part of me that ISNT fucked up yet, so i will attempt to not destroy my spinal cord in your honor (•̀ᴗ•́)و

Gonna take this as an opportunity to go off on a tangent and emphasize how out of nowhere your health can 180 in ways that will have a lasting impact for the rest of your life, and that this can happen at any moment no matter how careful or healthy you try to be

-I grew up poor enough to not have regular access to medical/dental/etc. for years at a time, avoided serious issues by sheer fucking luck and an extended family that did not sign up to raise another kid but thank christ they stepped up for me.

-managed to stay healthy enough to join the Air Force at 18. this was good news because the alternative was being homeless (again), which gosh got old fast. free medical? fuck yeah, uncle sam! my teeth are a mess and it sure would be nice to have glasses again!

-knees started acting up in BMT. slowly got worse as the years passed. haven't needed surgery yet but they make some wild gristly sounds when I go up stairs these days and anything more than a casual running regimen is immediately vetoed

-deployed when I was 22. wearing body armor was Not Great for my upper back. lost ability to pop anything in my spine from the shoulder blades up, gained some truly unsexy shooting pains in exchange

-several years of severe headaches i ignored because lmao childhood trauma and also not wanting to be seen as weak due to being just about the only enlisted woman in almost every unit/office i worked in.

-marriage imploded at 26 which gosh, did NOT do good things for the mild anxiety/depression i'd been staunchly ignoring for like a decade at that point. i used to think commercials for anti-depressants were like, rude satire. nope. that really is just how shitty a brain can get!

-apropos of FUCKALL I woke up one morning just before I turned 27 with a headache that has varied in intensity and location but has never gone away. latest diagnosis is a type of headache that's so persistent and resistant to treatment that there are known cases of people having this type for 30+ years. i could be one of those unlucky fucks! or it could go away tomorrow! we just don't know!

-spent 2018-2021 making EXTENSIVE USE of that free medical trying to figure out what the hell was going on or to at least find literally anything that will help reduce/control it. I have at this moment within arm's reach something like $2k worth of medical devices I got for free to help with the migraines.

-they don't.

-one time i tried to do a tally of how much I would have had to be pay out of pocket for all the primary care visits, the specialty care visits, the physical therapy, the stupid fucking useless acupuncture, the Botox, the ~16 different medications, the ER visits from bad reactions to medications, etc. etc. etc. if i hadn't been in the AF and I decided to go lay down in a dark room with an ice pack and not think about it instead.

-i did spend thousands out of pocket on a chiropractor, massages, and gas to keep driving to all those fucking appointments.

-during all this the constant migraines wreaked havoc on my neck, jaw, and shoulders, which in turn contributed to a vicious cycle of pain where doing anything beyond boiling myself in a dark shower 1-2 times a day did not only seem more trouble than it was worth, but WAS more trouble than it was worth.

-i was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia at 28. the rheumatology clinic gave me a pamphlet that was less informative than a google search and a politely phrased 'you're young and you still have all your limbs, why are you complaining? go away.'

-fibromyalgia diagnosis was given despite more evidence pointing to Sjogren's syndrome, which is an actual autoimmune disorder that sure, won't kill me, but it WOULD explain why my teeth have only gotten worse despite extremely thorough annual workups. it can cause all sorts of fun organ dysfunctions too. i could also go blind! either way neither is curable and whatever i've got showed up a decade earlier than is typically expected for my demographic!

-it wasn't any of the squillion medical experts i saw but literally just some other woman in my squadron who suggested i put my name on the Airborne Hazards and Open Burn Pit Registry, because she developed all sorts of autoimmune fuckery after her deployment. all of That is still being researched and debated and such, and has been for decades. maybe breathing too much sand and burning garbage gave me brain damage! maybe not!

-also during all this i lost half my hair due to damage caused by using Devacurl products. if you use that brand there are currently multiple lawsuits going on! you or your loved ones may be entitled to compensation, etc.

-anyway i turned 30 this year and a month later the Air Force kicked me out with 90% disability pay, a couple anti-depressant/anxiety prescriptions, and 0 fanfare.

-things could have gone so much worse for me and STILL COULD AT ANY MOMENT. I never considered myself invincible when I was younger but my good fucking gracious chronic pain isn't something i'd wish on anybody. i am terrified of the state my body might be in when i'm 40, never mind when i'm actually old. i am terrified of tomorrow. this is probably the severe anxiety talking.

-at least i've managed to avoid the heart disease rampant in my family? so far????

IN CONCLUSION, TO THE YOUTHS:

sit up straight, do some stretches, go for walkies, eat a vegetable, turn the music down a little, clean linens are the best gift you can give yourself, however much water you typically drink in a day it isn't enough, therapy does actually help, it's okay to be mad sometimes but i'm begging you to find at least one thing to laugh about every day, please take care of yourselves, and most importantly ENJOY your bodies while the going's good. this meat is expiring fast and there are no refunds.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Would mind writing hcs for dabi and kai with their s/o who got in car accident ? No thing scarry. Just a broken leg and an arm ? How they would treat her ? During most of their times ? Eating changing clothes going to the bathroom for their bussiness walking showering etc (bounce if they have kids and you know they have to take care of them as well) how they would deal with them emotionally ? I mean it really makes feel useless & hopeless when you can't do anything. Being a burden to them 💔.

Literally the one who threatens the receptionist of death if they dont allow him to see you.

Usually he wouldn't be very much concerned and is already offering to use his quirk on you.

Gets actually pouty when you deny it.

Since he has a lot of people, subordinates, he doesn't worry much but still he takes the cleaning duty because asides from you, no one can reach his high standards.

Treats you like a porcelain doll. If it is a broken leg he is carrying you over the house.

No touch him? Pffff-!

Doesn't let you do even the simplest tasks.

"Kai I can feed myself-" "Nonsense. Say ah."

Very instruct about your recovery.

If you both happen to have kids... Lord help him.

"CHISAKI KAITO STOP THAT THIS INSTANT YOU BRAT-!"

He is panicking.

And his kids get even more fussy and crying because the bastard doesn't allow them to "disturb" you on your recovery.

One hour he does give up and let his son and daughter look and get all cuddly with you.

"I can draw on your plaster mommy?" "Kaito no it might-" "of course baby!" "😑 for real (y/n)-?"

The one most chill yet panicking.

Invades the hospital by entering your window and oop! You're in your apartment again. The doctors almost called the police if you hadn't call the hospital to tell you were fine.

He isn't like Chisaki but still very careful and just a bit instrict. But not as much.

He knows you can still do basic things but still will offer you to do it. Bother? Bother is Endeavour not you-

Says screw to the league because he is staying by your side until that thing gets out of your arm/leg.

He cant cook for shit but pls still eat. He worked hard for that, and what manners is the thought not the taste.

Eventually you guys ask take out so dont worry.

If you both had kids he is handling her/him/they pretty well actually.

If you need to rest he is distracting them but eventually cabe in to their pleading eyes and spend some quality family time, which he is finally having it.

He is along drawing pictures with his kid on your talon and let his daughter draw on his face, on the parts that are not scarred, as well.

"Daddy is a pirate!" Rei spoke as Dabi made a nonchant 'yarr' back at you before he scooped you up in his arms when you started to giggle.

Still is very attent to his kid near your broken limb because he wants you back and healthy.

"Cmon now Rei. We will be letting you rest doll." "How about some movies instead?"

Rei and Dabi dont enjoy seing you on a plaster but due to that it made both you and Dabi to stay more at home. So the little one is joyful while Dabi feels at ease and peacefully with you and his daughter along.

[lmanberg]

just some observations... watching t being himself on his alt and it’s so clear he’s really cynical and pessimistic, unlike how people perceive him. he’s said struggles to give advice (such as when asked how to start streaming, he says give up, that it’s stressful, and although he’s partially joking, you can tell he means it too). he often thinks the worst in situations too. he’s really critical of himself a lot and puts so much stress on himself, like he mentioned the lore today was really stressful and that he should’ve planned more. he then criticised his appearance, saying he looked a mess - something he does a concerning amount. he is kinda insecure about it - he doesn’t use full cam on stream because he hates how he looks, he’s said he’s most insecure of his legs, often hiding his arms/legs with long sleeves/hoodies etc. and he’s mentioned he hated trampolining/swimming partially because it showed off his body so much. he also has a really unhealthy relationship with food - he often forgets to eat, and doesn’t really eat anything heavy. then he eats too much at once and feels sick and has mentioned wanting to throw up afterwards several times as well as calling himself fat a lot :( i think he’s not too good at self-care, and that’s why he ends up doing things mindlessly (like socks in the shower). it also is worrying that his dreams sound so damn horrific. i guess that’s the flaw of having an overactive imagination, but dude, i hope he’s able to sleep well. he mentioned yesterday that sometimes he wakes up still in the dream, and frantically starts packing things in his room to deal with the dream before realising it’s not real. he also sleeps in the shower D: so dangerous. he needs to take care of himself, actually.

and the way he said he doesn’t really get motivated easily, but when he see how much work tmmy puts in, and is asked what he’s up to, he ends up working on things too. it’s nice to see that his friends are something that help motivate him, but it also is kinda worrying. i wonder if he would truly be okay on his own. you can kinda tell he just wants to chill with his friends and follows/values their lead and advice, and is quite dependant and reliant on them to being happy, and doesn’t really do well alone. which, paired with how he doesn’t actively say his feelings, could mean that he suffers alone sometimes and doesn’t talk about what’s bothering him in the moment :( especially to not worry others. such a damn t thing to do.

the way he asks a lot where people are to play with but doesn’t actively seek people out to hang with, he used to, but you can tell he doesn’t wanna bother people (like how he doesn’t call r on stream anymore). if he prepared more streams/lobbies, i think he would enjoy it more. he’s obviously an introvert but likes company in small groups. he’s much happier and energetic with people, and so these quiet hours show off this other side we don’t see often. he mentioned recently that the past few weeks have been especially stressful - and i have a feeling part of it is that he doesn’t really have people to regularly stream with anymore, which could’ve lowered his enthusiasm for streams. tmmy barely streams, r is busy doing homework, and others don’t log in as much at the times he’s live. so it’s not surprising the alt has become a place where he doesn’t have to be the t we expect, but can vibe on his own without being asked if he’s sad when he’s just low energy. and it explains why he’s moving his main to be more planned content, rather than burning out by streaming unplanned content everyday. the only concern with the alt is that he could get lost in it. tmmy told him after his first (8hr) stream to not fall into overstreaming on there, as that wasn’t why tmmy recommended creating an alt (i think tmmy saw it as something that can feel more freeing). t is still streaming a very long time though, and i wonder if this is how t spent his days before? or by streaming on his alt it deters him from hanging with others (like being on r’s stream, since r won’t want to bother him, while he’s live, and t thinks r won’t want him there - he said that earlier this stream)? it’s very chill and therapeutic though :D

t said that he doesn’t really feel like he deserves us. he said he hasn’t done anything noteworthy to be proud of, like charity work or something, only proud of his server work. i think he views his success as something that came about from luck, and he compares it a lot to his friends. he clearly recognises how essential tmmy was to it, in that tmmy told him not to quit, and brought him along as he blew up. but i wish he knew that he was valued for actually being an interesting cc on his own, and not just see himself as a fleeting person that no one will care about in the future. however, i hope his ambition and drive to create will allow him to realise he is worthy in the future when he gives something meaning like his server :) he’s so real, too. when asked how to network, he said he didn’t like the phrase, but just liked making friends. it’s not surprising that everyone adores him when he’s so damn genuine, just looking solely for friends :’)

i hope you enjoyed my appreciation of t as a person!! ps can i be 🧩 anon?

Tubbo honestly deserves the world. You’re super right when you say that he relies on his friends for motivation, and I have a big feeling that if he ever was to live with someone else he would rely on them a lot for keeping him on a schedule for sleeping/eating/drinking. It’s a common habit, but very unhealthy in the long run. I do really hope he finds a way to eat/sleep/drink regularly, I myself struggle with it just because I don’t get hungry or thirsty or any of that. My methods is to keep water and food near me to eat/drink when I’m bored. He kinda does that with his parents giving him food, so that’s good. I think when he grows up and has a more strict schedule with streaming or an actual job on the side that he’ll get better with it, but he has to learn to rely on himself rather than his friends. Getting help from friends is fine, but overly relying can be dangerous.

[thistle-and-thorn]

my goal-setting manifesto

So recently @woodswit wrote a super thought-provoking post about struggling with the benefits of loving feeling fit and struggling with external validation regarding fitness and so this is kind of my reference guide for myself about goal-setting and the way *I* need to remember to think about it.

I minored in a very specific form of organizational management in college and a huge part of that curriculum was goal-setting. We were encouraged to make one-year, five-year, ten-year career plans, we learned how to set SMART goals, how to identify what steps were right for you, etc. Well, babies, I did not need this curriculum because in high school we had done this exact same curriculum. SMART goals, college planning, etc. Bitch, I knew how to plan my life and, bitch, I had it planned. I was a very high-achieving and ambitious student—I went after awards, AP scores, good grades, letters of recommendation. The school system I attended was very typical of an American school in that those things were the primary indicators for success and the “quality” of our grades determined our classes (and subsequently our social groups) and myriad other things. I was a “good girl” and bought into and benefitted from this kind of structure immensely.

Well. I also have struggled with severe anxiety and periodic depressive episodes that significantly interrupt my daily life and ability to care appropriately for myself. These disorders reached a critical mass at the midpoint of my college career and, after two very bad semesters (one of which ended with me getting a tiny sexy scar from fainting into a doorway), I realized I needed to make significant changes to my priorities. More specifically, I needed to examine the method by which I was defining and collecting achievement and validation. So, after much therapy (I love u Claire), soul-searching, several glasses of a very good local hard cider, I decided to write out the way I goal-set now that enables me to actually breathe and not spiral into self-hatred.

Why Do We Need Goal-Setting?

I actually think that goal-setting is deeply important. If you are a dreamer, I would even say that goal-setting is essential. Personally, I’m a planner/dreamer and enjoy setting goals. It comforts me. Getting a little organized around amorphous ideas like “I want to be a novelist” or “I wish I could travel the world” allows those things to become attainable.

Process and Product

I would say that there are two ways of thinking about goals:

1. Product-Oriented: This is the type of thinking that was taught in my management classes and is exactly what it sounds like. If you do these steps, then you will get x-result. An example of a well-written product-oriented goal is, “By Tuesday, I need to complete three research reports.” (This is true, and I completed them today motherfuckers.) It’s concise, attainable, and happens within a set timeframe.

2. Process-Oriented: This type of thinking focuses on what you will learn or benefit from accomplishing an activity. When I was teaching preschool, an example of this would be taking the kids for a nature walk or free drawing, basically doing an activity where there is no expected result. There is nothing to achieve, there is no medal. The work and the discoveries you make doing the work is the reward. A process-oriented goal would be, “I want to learn about characterization from writing this story.”

In woodswit’s example, she talks about the benefits that cardio exercise has on her mental health, how much happier and confident she is when she is doing a certain variety of exercise regularly. She also talks about how she used to do intense sports.

In this case, a product-oriented way to frame that discussion would be, “I want to get back to the weight I was when I was playing sports” or “I want to be able to lift fifty pounds again.” You will take smaller steps to reach that product—changing the way you eat, figuring out a plan for to work up to lifting heavier things. But the product-oriented way is ultimately a binary—you will either be able to lift fifty pounds or not, you will either reach the weight you were or you won’t. But the process-oriented way to think about these things would be, “I love biking and want to do more of it. Every weekend this summer, I will bike a different rail trail in my county.” The process-oriented method is less specific, but it takes that pressure away from your performance—in the biking example, the only expectation that is set is that you’re going to travel to different bike trails, not that you have to go to every rail trail in the county or that you have to complete the whole trail when you go or that you have to do it in a certain time, just that you are going to go.

There is space for both of these methods, and they are best used in conjunction with each other. Product-oriented is useful, especially in financial situations. A goal for 2022 is to visit my childhood best friend in her new home, halfway across the country. Say I want to go in May 2022 and I figure out that it will cost me roughly $2000. I should probably set a goal with steps to save $2000 by May. It’s also beneficial for the smaller steps to bolster your path to your big dreams—When I was a kid, playing piano gave me a lot of discipline and I would like to have that habit again. That is a process-oriented way of thinking about playing music, but you will probably need to set smaller, product-based goals to achieve it—you will need to select a song and learn to play it, within that song you will need to master it measure by measure.

When we are trained to reach for product, it is hard to recognize the value of process-orientation. A phenomenal example is my WIP. The story I am writing now has 3% the amount of kudos as my biggest fic. I also had a goal of updating every Tuesday. By product standards, that story is a flop. It has the least amount of engagement of anything I’ve ever written, and I haven’t updated it in like two weeks. However, why do I write? I write because I enjoy it, I write fanfic specifically to practice new skills. This story has stretched my abilities and I’ve grown from working on it. By process standards, it’s the most successful of my fics.

And in terms of bigger life things? Process-oriented is the way to go. Why? Because if the pandemic taught us anything, it is that life is not linear. It is nearly impossible to set a straight path—be it up a corporate ladder or a fitness goal—why? Because life sucks. Someone dies, you become ill, it rains, you fall in love, you fall out of love—minute inconveniences happen every day. Process takes the pressure off of your performance because you can’t perform all the time. This is essential in fitness goals because our physical state is especially ephemeral. Of course, it happens in other areas of life, too. An example: In the autumn of 2017, I fell into the deepest depression I have ever been in before or since. I could not remember to shower, let alone do my anthropology homework. As a result, for the first time, I was struggling to create the basic products—like, you know, homework—expected in my classes. That was even more devastating. Around the midpoint of the semester, I realized that product was not sustaining me and if I didn’t want to drop out or harm myself when I “failed”, I had to change my approach.

Once my classes became less about “I need to feel my Middle East studies requirement so I can get a History degree and get an A so I can get on the Dean’s List,” and I reconnected with, “I want to learn a lot about the Middle East,” the products came more naturally. They came more imperfectly, too, but I was able to complete the product because I put less pressure on making them to a certain standard. It became easier to recommit to my goal of being a college-educated woman when I remembered the why of receiving a college education. In woodswit’s original post, she acknowledges that the definition of intense exercise is different for every individual. But it’s also different for the individual at different points in their life and recognizing that intensity and success are arbitrary standards is an essential part of reframing your goal-setting as being process-orientated.

How Do I Goal Set Now?

I still goal-set and a lot of my goals could be likely defined as product-goals. However, they are all made with a long view in mind—if I set a goal to run a 5K, what am I going to get out of it besides just saying that I can run a 5K? Here are ways that I stay process-oriented throughout:

1. Goal Periods

I have three times of year when I set goals: January, June, and Lent. I will set a date on the calendar every year to sit down and just think about what I want to accomplish just in the next twelve-month period and what vision I have for myself in three to five years. No more than that.

January is when I set my personal goals and June is where I set my professional ones. I keep a spreadsheet throughout the year of experiences I would like to have. I will look to this list for inspiration. In January and June, while goal-setting, I check in with the opposing goals. So, in June, I checked in with my progression on my personal goals. I rethought if those goals were still realistic and if I was benefitting from them and in what ways. Then I recommitted to them or adjusted them to help me reach them.

2. Holistic Goals

Unless it’s curing cancer, there is no single goal worth putting all the rest on hold for. Each goal is a battle, and your life is the war. This is a deeply privileged example but: the goal of living independently the first two years out of college was probably achievable. But the effort to achieve that one goal meant that, like, six other personal and financial goals would not be met. So, I put off my career goals and stayed at home and taught preschool for two years. It meant a delay while it seemed like my other friends were growing up and achieving at faster rates, but the temporary strain of achieving a particular goal is sometimes worth it when it dominos into other opportunities.

3. Goal Bundling

I bundle my goals now as a part of my goals check-ins. An example of this is: I loved studying abroad and would love to spend more extended time in the country I studied in during undergrad. I would love to go to graduate school. Ipso facto, presto change-o, I should look at graduate programs in that country and see if that is an achievable goal.

This post is a good example of all of this lol. Why did I write it? there won't be an audience for it but the process of setting all of these thoughts on to paper was cathartic, creating a reference guide on this topic for myself when I am depressed is important, and that has to, has to, has to be good enough.

[suckmysupernatural]

Weighted Blanket

Word Count: ~1900, Oneshot

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Panic attack, anxiety, medication, language, glass

Summary: Reader has anxiety and panic attacks, today is an off day and Dean helps the reader. Slight fluff

Author’s Note: Hi! I’m Sarah and this is my first fic! Let me know what you think of the fic, what I can improve upon, etc. Also feel free to give some fic ideas :) Thanks for reading my loves. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When I woke up, I knew that today was going to be another one of my bad days. There was nothing wrong or tangible that I could place the blame on. It had been a while since I had a bad day. At least I wasn’t waking up in some shitty hotel room or with a hunt planned for the day. Today I got to wake up in the bunker, in the bed that Dean and I shared. Rolling over, I saw that Dean wasn’t laying next to me like I had hoped. Sitting up my heart began to pound. Where is he? Is Dean okay? Where is he? My questions were answered quickly, with my phone buzzing on the nightstand. It was Dean.

Hey sweetheart. Sammy and I went out to town on a supply run, need anything?

Breathing a sigh of relief, I opened my bedside drawer. Grabbing my medication, I didn’t hear the familiar rattle of pills. Crap. During my last panic attack I had taken my last pill. I didn’t make a note on my phone or tell Dean and my mind would always get so foggy during and after a panic attack. It’s a good thing that Dean is already in town. Grabbing my phone, I type up a quick reply to his earlier question. 

 Yes, can you pick up my meds from the pharmacy? I’m all out. 

Putting my phone down to wait for a response, I climbed out of bed and stretched the overnight stiffness out of my muscles. About to head to the bathroom, I was interrupted by a familiar sound. “Faithfully” by Journey, my ringtone for Dean, started playing. Picking up the phone, I pressed the green button to answer the call.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to come home?” Dean blurted out as soon as I put the phone to my ear. The corners of my lips turned up in a smile. I was so lucky to have someone who cared so much about me. 

“Yes, I am okay. I just woke up feeling… off. I’m fine though. I just remembered that my medication ran out from last time, I need a refill just in case. But don’t worry. I’m going to take a shower and then make some breakfast. It’ll be done by the time you guys get back so don’t eat anything while you are out.” 

“Okay… Well if you need me to come home at any point just text. We don’t have many errands to run so it shouldn’t take long,” Dean said, trying to cover up the worry in his voice.

“Thank you. I love you, see you soon,” I responded. 

“Love you too, sweetheart.” Dean replied and then hung up the phone. I was still feeling uneasy but I’m not surprised. My anxiety didn’t simply go away when it should. There were things I could do to help, though. I grabbed my phone and made my way into the bathroom. Scrolling through Spotify, I clicked on the playlist that I had made for days like this. It was a compilation of gentle acoustic covers of classic rock songs. Listening to the originals made my heart rate go even higher, so I stuck to the more relaxing versions. I connected my phone to the waterproof bluetooth speaker I had put in the shower, letting the music fill the room. I turned on the shower and slipped off the T-shirt and cotton shorts that I had slept in. Hopping into the shower, I let the warm water cascade down your shoulders and back, releasing the tension. I lathered my hair with my favorite shampoo, inhaling the apple scent that I loved. “Dust in the Wind” by Kansas flowed through the speakers and I sang along while washing the suds out of my hair. Putting my conditioner in, I could still feel that my heart was beating faster than it normally did, but I accepted it and continued my shower routine. Once I finished rinsing out my hair, washing my body, and shaving my legs I turned off the shower as the water was slowly turning cold. I wrapped myself in the fuzzy white towel that hung on a hook next to the shower. I had stolen it on a hunt a few months back. A ghost was haunting a fancy hotel, which had been a nice change of pace from the usual dumps I stayed in. 

With one hand holding the towel up and the other holding my phone, I walked the short way back to the bedroom. I opened my closet, already knowing what I was going to wear. I grabbed the clothes that I always wore on bad days, it was the comfiest outfit I owned. The first item was an oversize, lightweight blue T-shirt. The material was extra soft and thin. I also had a pair of Dean’s sweatpants. They had become mine after I had stolen them once and realized how comfortable they were. They were old and grey, some might call them ratty. I slipped on the shirt and pulled on the sweats, rolling the waist of them so that I didn’t trip on them when I went to walk. Along with the clothes, I pulled out my teddy bear slippers. They were a gag gift from my sister a few Christmases back, but they were so soft and warm that I had to keep them. 

Feeling cozy and warm, I made my way into the kitchen. Reaching the threshold I stopped and closed my eyes. I could feel myself shaking, feeling antsy and unsettled. Not wanting to keep still, I made my way to the pantry and pulled out what I needed to make pancakes. I mixed up the ingredients and turned on the stove.

Flipping the last pancake, I heard the front door of the bunker open and close. Perfect timing, I thought smiling. The brothers’ voices grew louder as they got closer to the kitchen. 

“Hey boys! Just finished up. Make sure to put the fridge and freezer food in now. Then sit, you can unpack the rest after breakfast.” I said proudly. I was happy to provide for Same and Dean, whether it be breakfast or a hug when they needed it. They were always taking care of me and it was nice to return the favor every now and then. 

“How’re you feeling?” Dean said, snaking an arm around my waist and placing a kiss onto my temple. I inhaled his musky scent and sighed, leaning my head onto his chest.

“Not my best, not my worst,” I responded, pulling out three plates and piling pancakes on each.

“Need your medication? I got it,” Dean started to rummage through the bags that he and Sam had brought in. I placed my hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

“No no, I’m okay for now. Sit down, time to eat,” I said. Dean listened to my request, moving to sit across from Sam. I walked over and put a plate in front of each man. Grabbing the maple syrup, forks, and my own plate, I sat down next to Dean. Handing each brother a fork, I sighed. I loved moments like these, in the bunker, where the three of us felt like a normal family. I didn’t have to worry about an apocalypse or stitching up one, or both, of the boys after a hunt. I could just sit here with my two favorite people and enjoy our time together. We ate breakfast and chatted until the pancakes were settled into our stomachs. 

Sam got up and announced that he was going to look for cases and read up on some lore. Dean and I stayed at the table with my head leaning on his shoulder. Dean’s face turned into my hair, kissing the top of my head. 

“Thanks for breakfast, it was tasty,” Dean said, rubbing his stomach and then standing up, stretching slightly, “I’m gonna take a shower, you going to be okay”

“Yeah, go for it. Be warned, there might not be that much hot water,” I smirked, hoping that the shower wouldn’t be freezing for Dean. I grabbed the plates and brought them over to the sink. I didn’t mind doing the dishes, actually finding them quite calming most of the time. First, I scrubbed the bowl and frying pan I had used to make breakfast. I picked up one of the plates when I felt the lump form in my throat. No, no, no I thought, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I knew that my anxiety was starting to bubble to the surface but tried to push through it. As I started to clean off the plate in my hand my head started to feel fuzzy. My breathing started to quicken to match my increasing heart rate. I took a step back as my vision started to blur from the lack of oxygen. Before I knew it the plate had slipped from my hands, crashing and shattering on the ground. I didn’t even hear the glass break because my ears were ringing. I was sinking into a panic attack. It was somehow overwhelming and numbing at the same time. It felt like the world around me ceased to exist, trapping me in my overactive mind.

Dean came running into the kitchen with his gun drawn and hair still damp from the shower. Seeing that it was only me, he put his gun down on the kitchen table. He approached slowly, trying not to startle me into stepping on the broken glass that surrounded my feet. My hands were still in front of me as if the plate was still safely in my grasp. Dean saw that my whole body was shaking and my breaths were short and rapid. 

“Sweetheart. I am going to pick you up, okay? There is glass all around your feet and I don’t want you stepping on it,” Dean said in a low voice, calm and collected. He knew that I currently didn’t have the ability to step over the glass. Seeing me nod slightly at his words, he moved closer. Dean placed one hand on my back and the other behind my knees, sweeping me up in one fluid motion. He could feel my body twitching against his as I relaxed my full body into him. He started to make his way to our bedroom, slowly in an attempt to help calm me. I opened my mouth, wanting to thank him. 

“Um… I… uh….” I stutter out, trying to fight the brain fog. 

“Shh sweetheart. It’s okay, I got you.” Dean whispered, laying me down onto the bed. He walked over to the closet, pulling out a weighted blanket and pulling it onto me. Opening the nightstand drawer, he pulled out the new bottle of medication, shaking a single pill into this palm. “Open up,” he said, knowing that my hands were too shaky to hold the pill myself. He placed it on my tongue before bringing a glass of water to my lips, tipping it slowly. Once I had swallowed the pill, Dean took off his shoes and slid into the bed. Wrapping his arm around me, he let me burrow myself into his chest as I attempted to match his slow breathing. Slowly, the pill started to kick in, my body starting to still. Dean softly caressed my hair with one hand, the other drawing small circles on my arm. 

“Thank you,” I whisper, my eyes starting to droop.

“I’ll always take care of you,” Dean whispered back. You gave him a soft smile before falling asleep, safe in his arms. 

[cloveroctobers]

(A/n: this might be a little biased since I’m in love with this man & I’m basing the relationship parts of this on my mc/myself so hope y’all don’t mind 😬)

IG info/bio: @/lucas.koh | 93.1k followers | for business inquires please visit: kohptr.com

LUCAS KOH —

27 (28) years old

From Oxford, England

Father is Korean & a car salesman at a Nissan dealership, he’s a strict/serious man who has high morals but beyond that he can actually be a softie in rare moments (+ that’s who Lucas gets his height from 🤤)

Mother is actually Chinese but lived in Korea studying abroad and eventually became a successful chiropractor (s/o to doctor mondragon on YouTube who I watch to help me sleep some nights and wish I could see! Lol) with her own practice. She’s a firecracker, intelligent, and quick to say what’s on her mind and doesn’t care if you like what she’s got to say. Most patients like that about her, she’s honest and her family is used to her ways but in the same way it’s more loving than offensive? (Smol woman but will remind you when she’s cracking your body she’s got enough power in her)

Either he’s a only child or he comes from a family of all boys with two younger brothers (they’re all in their 20’s) or he has one younger brother and one younger sister idk you decide

I’m feeling like he’s a Sagittarius? Carefree in the terms of he wasn’t viewing finally getting with MC when she’s dating someone else as cheating. Mans was READY to risk it all for me okay and I was down for it but ofc I had to react realistically and NOT “cheat.” *sigh* one part of me was debating ‘are we really dating tho bobby? We’re on reality tv. We’re not gonna die without each other if we hang out in seperate rooms’ *cough* Nope. but I’m a woman about her loyalty

He’s definitely adventurous. I don’t see him as the type to want to stay home all the time even tho his work definitely keeps him busy/exhausted. He’s down for road trips 💯

Occupation? Physicotherapist. His mother inspired him to get into the field and watching sports + the way players got their injuries always intrigued him? So to provide the best plan to have someone heal was something he loved to do plus being hands on while teaching/helping was a passion for him + I feel like he would also use a massaging technique instead of the usual exercise part of it

Now as someone who suffered a ACL & Mensicus tear & is STILL dealing with this BS pain years later, I would be so thankful to have him around! I feel like he’d have a optimistic attitude towards his patients and that’s what people need not someone that’s insensitive (like my surgeon/PT’s I had)

He models from time to time, when he was first approached about it he was upfront about not wanting to do it. It was much different than getting your picture taken for the office. That’s usually quick, the whole modeling process felt longer but somehow he was talked into it by his brother who’s a photographer and his mother. “Do you think you’re ugly? ‘Cause I’m not and you’re a part of me, so therefore there’s no such thing. Just look at your cheekbones, your jawline! I gave you those. The only good thing your father gave you was height.” Which filled the house with snickers while Lucas’ father just rolled his eyes and continued reading his newspaper for breakfast

Has a motorcycle and some luxurious car—not a Tesla those are basic now 🤷🏽‍♀️

Loves his motorcycle so much he’s got a tat of it on his right bicep

He has two available parking spaces in his parking garage at his penthouse but keeps his bike away in a storage unit due to a neighbor scratching it after his girlfriend broke up with him? Saying she was off to date Lucas? But that wasn’t true at all. He barely knew the girl, they didn’t live on the same floor. People were crazy but if you push him his temper might come out

Owns a leather jacket that he paid a lot for

Believes in “treat yo self” if it means in quality when shopping and has no issue being a big spender but he knows how to manage it well (his father told him all about how his own father dealt with bankruptcy)

Since he’s often at the office the whole day, he’s usually a night owl. He loves night drives and night dining. That’s usually when he finds the best places to eat

There’s this one pho spot that he loves and it’s his go to spot when he wants something quick on the way home

Cannot sleep with his entire body covered in covers, either his arms/shoulders have to be out or his legs, which would be a issue for me/mc since I sleep with the covers over my entire body...yes even in hot weather with the AC cranked up😂

He also makes great kimchi fried rice & loves Italian food

Will wine and dine. I believe it. I envision it! He loves going out on dates with his significant other (If he’s single and not with me, I think he’d try out speed dating)

Will dress to impress, will buy you a new fit he wants to see you/us/mc in especially if it’s your anniversary

Loves taking bubble bath’s with infused oils or flower petals with significant other

He’s the type that takes long showers & it brings him a true sense of freedom. He’s never able to take a quick shower, he gets lost in his ideas of what to do next in this world & it’s limitless

If he’s in for the day, which usually doesn’t last long—he’s either in sweats or in a robe all day

Only drives his bike on the weekend or if he’s going out of town but if he’s going on a trip for a couple of days with MC & if she’s got a bit of anxiety like me? He’ll stick to his car to make them comfortable

I feel like he enjoys the winter season. Maybe if it’s a slushy rainy winter more than a blizzards/snowy season. He loves bundling up, much to people’s surprise. He’s more than just his good looks and body love island fans!!!

Doesn’t post much on his socials. If you need to see what he’s about then you should do so in person or already know who he is. The internet can’t tell you much, in his opinion

Keeps himself in good health, I mean duh what kind of PT would he be 😉 goes on night jogs with reflector clothes on & occasionally morning jogs & at home workouts

Probably will date someone younger than him. Not by much, I don’t think he can take immaturity well. (That maybe how he views it) The most is 4 years younger than him

Henrik is his best bud from the show. They hang out all the time, crash at each other’s places, and vacation together all the time. They will be each other’s future best men forsure

Doesn’t go out of his way to talk to the rest of the guys from the show but if he happens to browse his feed and sees something he wants to comment on then he’ll carry a conversation of course

Far as the girls? He talks to Hannah & Priya from time to time. He also follows Hope and they like each other’s posts but not much communication is there either?

Either has a mint or black phone case, probably a Samsung galaxy user

Likes pistachio frozen yogurt but he’s lactose & doesn’t want to believe it :(

Smokes cigars when he’s out with his boys

Has a tight knit group of friends, majority of them are from the medical field since they all went to uni together + most of them are also married so the pressure is so on

*He’s the oldest out of his sibs so according to his parents he’s expected to be married first yet his baby sis is engaged and she’s 23*

wants a family...eventually. Probably will happen in his early thirties? The max for children is 2 for him. He knows they can be a HANDFUL due to his own friends who have kids + he’s a godfather and he’s babysat before so he knows how it goes!

enjoys his freedom as stated which further proves he’s a sag lol

Enjoys going to saunas to cleanse his pores/ get rid of toxins. It’s the easiest way for him to do so even tho his brother clowns him for it

His love language is deff physical touch. He loves hugs and resting his chin on top of your head, forehead to forehead, his nose pressed in between the space of your neck and shoulder, gentle squeezes, sitting next to each other with your legs touching, cuddling, sleeping on top of you or you on him, etc

He loves kissing. It’s automatic for him and it can also easily rile him up

Has strong opinions & will show them but will feel like he’s being attacked if it brings on a confrontation/argument

Will forgive and forget

Plays strategy board games

Makes his own natural healing creams & gives samples to his patients depending on their needs

His fav colors are: blue, white, & grey

Will grow a bit of facial hair in the cooler months if it’ll make mc happy (I’m a sucker for facial hair but hate it on myself lmao) but if he dislikes the feeling on his face he will shave and finds he likes a shaven face better, the facial hair makes him look a bit older—which is okay but that’s just his preference

When he stops putting gel in his hair/styling his hair in a quiff hairstyle it shocks fans with mc commenting on one of his pics, “you’re welcome x”

Likes going to the Hard Rock Cafe on causal weekends

also likes getting freaky in public, down for whatever 🤪

He’s a traveler so if he leaves the UK, I’m seeing him land in Toronto, Canada first and falling in love with it. I feel he would vibe well with the culture there, might even consider getting a vacation home in that location

Celeb crushes? Anne Hathaway, Beyoncé, Lupita Nyong'o, Anna Diop, Imaan Hammam, Jodie Comer, Megan Fox, Shay Mitchell, & Cassie Ventura Fine

Oh Lucas. I feel like we have similar tastes? Somewhat. He probably listens to more rock than I do? Maybe 80s rock moreso? & He listens to: WALK THE MOON, Allen Stone (his fav) , Emily king, Gavin Turek, Melanie Fiona, THEY., DPR live, & Sik-k

Anthem = Young the Giant, “Something to believe in”

[shotbyshe]

8.13.21

"Happy Friday the 13th." -- She says to literally everyone today....co-workers and little brothers included.

Tidbits I jotted while "working": - I got my hello fresh box today and i already want to quit again as i did back in 2017. - work has been pretty dry today. today has been dry but for some reason i can't get anything done. - read some of the book - having a hard time focusing on one thing today

Every time I give myself a challenge, an activity or a hobby I make it into a chore. I did this with painting, editing, knitting, video games, reading, journaling, math game activities, coloring, logging my meals, even self care sometimes, the June vlogging challenge and now the August writing challenge.

I give myself something I must complete everyday -- because my days often feel nonproductive or lacking in some sort of creativity/fun/learning stimulant way -- and then I delay in doing it or dread doing it.

I tend to strive to get everything under control, then slack off when I have everything under control. Things are clean, in their places, and well organized now, therefore something in my brain is telling me to fuck it all up and make a mess...as if ���okay, you've done everything, now fuck it all up so you have more things to do, or to then fix back.” What the actual hell?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's 6:30pm right now and all I can think about is how I need to shower, clean up the kitchen -- 'cause I was cooking for the first time in a long time -- and brush my Goddamn unruly hair...as well as read this damn book and go through my journal/to do lists for yesterday and today.

I don't know why I do this to myself.

I make a big deal out of nothing.

To complete my HelloFresh thought:

- I had HelloFresh back in the day when I first moved to Manhattan.

 Sidenote: I even remember when they were recruiting customers on the street. I used to work on Wall Street and that’s where their NY headquarters is. That’s how I was first introduced to HelloFresh, long before Youtubers were sponsored by them. Those were the days.

I believe I started my membership in 2016 and kept it until 2017. I enjoyed cooking and I did learn a lot about fragrances and how and what foods go together, etc. But I didn't always enjoy the meals...and I found the cooking to become a chore.

(Literally what I was saying before)

. So I ended my subscription back then. Recently now I've been bored with eating the same things everyday and I find that I need to eat FULL MEALS. I can't snack or have a small portion. I have to have my mocha, water, and one-to-two full meals. I've only ever, since maybe 2019, been having soups, salads and stir frys. That shit gets mundane and tiring as hell after two years. So I thought why not start HelloFresh again, why not cook different-type shit again? Plus you don't have to cook meat

(this was another reason I'd left).

But with my low iron I need to eat meat. Having said all that, cooking the chicken today, and this shawarma meal I prepared, was not fun! I remember that I hate cooking with and eating meat. It makes me very uncomfortable, and it smells gross. Upon finishing the meal -- though very delicious and hit the spot -- it was quite bland. I enjoyed it I'm not going to lie, however, I do not eat any food that whole day so it could be that my brain thinks it was good because I was so hungry. I don't know, I'll give it another week. This time I’ll try vegan/veggie meals only. I hope that helps. ** I also had to bring the box to my apartment from the lobby b/c they deliver by messenger. FML.

To complete my other thoughts that focuses on not being able to focus:

- Yeah I have no clue. I said yesterday I would stop taking the iron tablets. I actually did that and I feel so much better even just after one day. I didn't take them today and my stomach hasn't been stupid, so I will continue to not take them for the remainder of the month. If I feel I can stand it I'll continue in September. I want to at least enjoy the rest of my Summer pain-free the best way I can.

- Work is always dry on Fridays and moreso the end of the week period. I like my job. I like it a lot. It's such a blessing. It's so freeing. I'm able to live a carefree life b/c the income just takes care of itself. I'm very lucky. But then again I did work hard to get here. I'm glad I can complain about not having anything to do, as opposed to

"having soooo much to do"

. People actually brag about that shit. I'll never understand it. I must point out that

"keeping busy"

and bragging that you

"have so much going on"

are two different things. I am keeping busy but I have nothing "going on"......except life of course. This vast never-ending everlasting circle. Shout out to Mufasa for teaching me that.

- Yeah I read some of the book, like 5 pages. I couldn't concentrate because all I kept thinking about was all of the things that I needed to get done. In order for me to focus on one thing I have to first deal with all of the clutter around me. Yes, I can't just sit and read while drinking my mocha. I have to clear up the whole place, including my notes on the computer, before I can sit down and enjoy a book. I'm that OCD and strategic.

[whorderofthepheonix]

Yes, Sir: Part 1 of ? || Ransom Drysdale // Knives Out

A/N: I’ve missed writing for you guys! I hope you guys enjoy this! If you haven’t seen Knives Out, you can totally still read this. It doesn’t have any spoilers! (Except maybe character descriptions, but that’s it). (TAG LIST IS OPEN!) YOU MUST AGREE TO REBLOG W/ COMMENTS TO CONTINUE TO BE ON THE TAGLIST! NO EXCEPTION

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: (18+) Angst (Ransom’s a fucking asshole), Smut (Fingering, oral, etc), Classism, Swearing, Humiliation

IF YOU ENJOY MY WORK, PLEASE REBLOG WITH FEEDBACK! IT’S VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

Raquel’s POV

(Set a year before the events Knives Out)

Harlan Thrombey is the kindest employer I’ve ever had. Scratch that. He’s the kindest person I’ve ever met. He was respectful, fun, and he’s incredibly generous. A few years back, I was simply looking for a part-time cleaning job to help pay for college, and when I met Harlan, not only did he hire me as one of his housekeepers, he paid off my student debt ENTIRELY. I wasn’t very close to my own family so Harlan and the other people who worked at the mansion were my new family. It was always kind, loving, and fun to go to work everyday.

Except when his family would visit.

A small percentage of the Thrombey clan treated me like a human being. I didn’t wanna say they were racist but... They were extremely racially insensitive. Especially to me and Harlan’s nurse Marta. I once got dragged into a very uncomfortable discussion about being black in America which Richard Drysdale, Harlan’s son-in-law, swore he was an expert in. I bit my tongue as Richard and Walt Thrombey insisted that “nigga” was just a word and that everyone should be able to say it...

Okay. They were racist as fuck.

But believe it or not, I’d rather deal with their racial ignorance than deal with Richard and Linda’s son, Ransom. Well to me, he was Hugh, because he ordered “The Help” to call him Hugh. Lord help any staff who called him Ransom to his face. The gardener, Luiz, did once and Ransom went berserk on him. He had him fired and I believe he tried to have him deported. I shook the memory out of my head and continued dusting. The Thrombreys were coming to the mansion tonight to celebrate Linda’s biggest sale to date. They’ll think of any reason to throw a party at the estate. According to the guest list, the entire family was to be in attendance. Ransom included. They were gonna be here any moment. I had cleaned the bedrooms twice (Ransom’s 3 times), swept, mopped, and vacuumed every room, and even polished the doorknobs. I was praying that the first set of guests would be tolerable ones-

“Hello, hello!” Joni Thrombey, Harlan’s Daughter-In-Law, called as she entered the house with bags galore.

“Miss Joni,” I smiled. “Welcome! May I take your bags up to your room?”

“Thank you so much, Raquel, and please just call me Joni” she handed me her bags. “Please be careful! My dress is from Armani! Just hang it up in the closet.” I nodded and lugged her bags up to the second floor. Once her dress was in the closet, I started to unpack her bag as the door opened up again. Meg Thrombey, Joni’s daughter and Harlan’s Granddaughter walked in, happily. We actually attended the same college and were best friends, even though she’s a couple years younger than I am. She’s the one who got me this job.

“Meg!” I gushed hugging her tightly. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

“Rocky! I’ve missed you!” She smiled. “Emerson is so boring without you!”

“Sometimes, I miss it,” I frowned. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful to have this amazing job! I just wish I could do more.”

“I totally understand that! Listen, the old gang wants to hang out later tonight. Wanna join us? We’re headed down to the pier.”

“That would be amazing!” I squealed. “As soon as I’m done working-”

“Um, HELLO?” Linda Thrombey’s voice called from the first floor. “Where are the housekeepers? Can someone please get my bags?!”

“Shit,” I whispered. I dashed out the room and down the stairs. “Miss Linda, hi. I’m so sorry. I was just unpacking Miss Joni’s things-”

“Oh, heaven forbid you help my dad’s actual daughter!” She rolled her eyes. “Let’s not forget, this party is for me!”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m so sorry, it won’t happen again,” I reassured her. Linda walked into her and Richard’s bedroom, which was located on the first floor. Richard walked into the house seconds later.

“I apologize Rachel,” he sighed. ‘Raquel’ I corrected in my mind. “She’s under immense pressure from this deal. I’m sure she’ll lighten up.”

“It’s really okay, Mr. Drysdale,” I insisted. “It was my fault.” I take his bags and well and bring them into the bedroom. Linda was smoking a cigarette and yelling at someone over the phone. Harlan knew his children smoked but he never allowed it indoors. But considering that Linda was being a bitch right now, I decided to leave it alone. As I unpacked their things, I heard the sounds of Walter and his family arrive. Fran, the other housekeeper, must’ve been helping them since I heard them go upstairs without complaint. When I was done, I stood in the doorway ready to go.

“Is there anything else you need, Miss?” I asked.

“Yes, bring me a scotch on the rocks,” she said without looking up from her phone. I nodded and went out to the bar. As I was making her drink, the familiar sound of tires screeching came from outside the house. Fran ran over to me.

“Not it,” she whispered before running into the kitchen. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what was about to happen. Ransom Drysdale walked into the mansion, sunglasses on, leather duffle bag in one hand, his phone in the other.

“Where the hell is The Help?” He hissed walking into the parlour. He spotted me and strutted over. “Hey, Maid!” He called. I placed Linda’s drink on a tray and looked at him.

“Hugh,” I said blandly.

“I’ve been here for 15 seconds and you haven’t taken my bags,” he hissed.

“I’m not sure if you noticed but I’m doing something- Hey!” I protested as he took the scotch off the tray and sipped it. “That was for your mother...”

“Well, it looks like it’s for me now,” he smirked and threw his jacket me. I pulled it off my face and threw it to the floor. He sat in an armchair and watched me as I made Linda another drink. “Your ass looks great by the way. Those leggings are working well for you.”

“Your grandfather told you you’re not allowed to say things like that to us, anymore,” I reminded him. “It’s sexual harassment.”

“I can do whatever the fuck I want,” he laughed. “What’re you gonna do? Sue me?” Just then, Linda entered the parlour.

“Jesus, Rachel! How long does it take to pour a scotch?” She groaned. Then she saw Ransom sitting and her whole demeanor changed. “Ransom! My baby! How are you?” She peppered his face with kisses.

“I’d be a lot better if Grandad hired decent Help,” he rolled his eyes. “She was just standing at the bar when I got in. Didn’t greet me or anything.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” she frowned. “She had your father and I waiting at the door as well, don’t take it personally.” Then she walked over to me and hissed, “You owe Ransom an apology! He shouldn’t have to deal with this while visiting his family!” She snatched her new drink from the bar and noticed his coat on the floor. She picked it up and shoved it into my hands. “And hang this up!” I took a deep breath and bit the insides of my cheeks.

“Hugh, I apologize for keeping you waiting,” I said through my teeth. “It won’t happen again.” He smirked as I picked up his duffle and carried it up to his room. He didn’t actually have a room here so he was just occupping one of the many guest rooms... The biggest guest room in fact. It was originally his parents’ room but he made the trade. I unpacked his bags and made sure everything was perfect as he came in the room. He looked around, nodding.

“Looks good. Now get the hell out, I’m gonna shower,” he ordered. “Unless you care to join me.” I desperately wanted to tell him to eat shit, but I swallowed my pride and left the room.

***

As Fran and I set up the decorations, Marta came downstairs, looking uneasy.

“You okay, Marta?” I asked.

“Um, Hugh is upstairs asking for the maid,” she told us. “He says come now.”

“Fine,” Fran frowned. “Raquel, you dealt with him earlier so I’ll-”

“He says... He says he wants the Black Maid,” Marta whispered. I sighed and stopped folding napkins.

“I’ll be back,” I sighed. “Hopefully, I won’t be too long.” I went up to Ransom’s room and knocked on the door. “Mr. Hugh?”

“Come in,” he told me. I opened the door and looked at him. He was only in a towel sitting on his bed and looking through his phone. He didn’t look up as I entered. “Why are you just standing around? The bathroom needs to be cleaned again. Hurry up.” I opened the bathroom door and sure enough, he had destroyed it. All the towels were used and thrown on the floor, the floor was soaked, and the garbage turned over. I sighed and got to work. God he was such an asshole... He was definitely doing this on purpose. Ever since I got hired, Ransom wanted to make sure I knew my place... Which was below him. I was mopping up the water when I heard grunting coming from the other side of the door. I cracked it open and looked out. I pulled my head back in quickly when I saw what it was... Or was it? To double check, I peeked out again and confirmed what I had seen. Yup. I was right.

Ransom had dropped his towel and was facing the wall, jerking off. His back was to me and his hand was pressed against the wall, keeping him upright. I couldn’t see what he was working with, if you know what I mean, but I didn’t want to get caught watching my boss’ grandson masturbate. I went back into the bathroom and finished up, so I could leave without him knowing. I was almost to the bedroom door when-

“Wait,” Ransom grunted. I turned around. He was still holding onto the wall for support. He muttered something under his breath then moaned loudly. He picked up his towel from the floor and wrapped it back around his hips. He walked over to me and smirked. “You missed a spot.” And he nudged his head in the direction of where he was standing. Sure enough, the content of his solo exploits was running down the wall and dripping onto the floor. “Well? What are you waiting for? Get to cleaning.”

“You’re such an asshole, Hugh,” I hissed.

“I know,” he shrugged. “I just like thinking of ways to embarrass you. But don’t act like you didn’t enjoy watching...” He winked at me. “Now hurry up-”

“No.” I hissed.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” He asked stepping closer. “I don’t think I heard you correctly-”

“Then read my lips, you entitled prick!” I hissed. “I’m not fucking doing it! In case you’ve forgotten, you don’t live here, therefore, I don’t fucking work for you!” I threw him a rag and opened the door. “Clean it your fucking self!”

***

When the party actually started, I changed into the outfit Linda requested I wear. A button up blouse and a knee length skirt that she so kindly gave all of the Help. Linda was also in a better mood. My guess is, she remembered everyone was there to celebrate her and she would be the center of attention... Which she loves. I hadn’t seen Ransom since earlier. He was gonna arrive late, probably cause a scene, argue with Meg, then retreat to the guest room with one of the long legged blonde attendees. I was handing out hors d’oeuvres in the foyer when Ransom approached me.

“Go away, Hugh,” I said. “I’m working.”

“Relax. I came to apologize,” he sighed. I looked up at him confused. “I may have been... A bit obnoxious when I first got here. And what happened in the bedroom before... I crossed the line and I’m sorry.” I was shocked. Never, in the years that I’ve worked here, have I heard Ransom apologize!

“Oh... Wow. Thank you, Hugh,” I acknowledged him.

“Call me, Ransom,” he shrugged. “Just don’t let the other Help hear you.” I smiled slightly and nodded.

“I should go... I have to refill my tray,” I told him. “If you’ll excuse me-” He grabbed my arm and stepped closer to me.

“Did you like it?” He whispered.

“I’m sorry?”

“Watching me... Did you like it?” He repeated. I didn’t know how to answer... I never saw Ransom as someone I could be attracted to because his asshole personality would always cloud any other perception of him... But now that I think about it... He was sexy as fuck.

“I... I wasn’t watching you-”

“Don’t lie,” he smirked. He tilted my chin up and made me look into his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes. “You liked it... Didn’t you?” My mouth was dry and my heart was racing. “Tell me you liked it...” I had to get out of there.

“I have to go,” I whispered, scurrying out of the foyer. I ran into the empty hall and took a deep breath. I leaned on the credenza for support. What was going on? This was Hugh! He’s a pig, he’s an asshat, he hates lower class people, he... Was coming this way. I made it look like I was busy doing something as he approached me. “Ransom... Hugh. I need to keep working. So please just-” He pressed himself against me, making sure my butt was pressed against him. My breath hitch and I was panting softly. His fingers danced up and down my arms, sending tingles all throughout my body.

“Why are you running from the truth?” He asked, leaning in close to my ear. “You’re so fucking sexy... Just the thought of you watching me...” He pulled me closer to him and pressed his erection against my butt. “Makes me so hard...” I grabbed onto the fabric that laid across the credenza, breathing harder. It was like my body was betraying me. I clenched my thighs together trying to release the aching in between my legs. Ransom noticed and ran his hand up my leg. “Uh-uh. Let me help you with that...” He spread my legs and traced my inner thighs lightly. His other arm, wrapped around my shoulders and his fingers lingered on the base of my throat. As he caressed my thighs, his fingers kept brushing against my core. I bit my lip to stop from moaning out. It had been a while since I’ve been... Intimate with another person. My body was extremely sensitive to his touch. So sensitive in fact, that when he slipped his hand down into my skirt and past my panties, I nearly lost it. I grabbed his wrist and moaned out loud. It’s like his ‘Dominate’ switch was activated when I did that because he had a loose grip on my throat, putting minimal pressure, and he pulled me fully back against his chest. “That’s a good girl...” He whispered in my ear. “Such a good girl...” I felt myself on the edge already. He wasn’t even doing much. Just rubbing me gently.

“Fuck,” I moaned, quietly. But footsteps coming from around the corner made Ransom pull his hand out my underwear and stand up straight. Linda came scurrying down the hall.

“Ransom, honey, there are some people I’d like you to meet,” she grinned.

“I’ll be right there,” he told her. “I just need to finish having a word with this one.” She turned around and went back into the parlour. He turned to me. “In an hour, go up to my room and wait for me... I’ll finish what I started. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Is that clear?”

“Yes,” I nodded. He tilted my chin up.

“Yes, who?”

“Yes, Ransom,” I agreed. He leaned in close.

“Next time. Call me Sir,” he whispered, before biting on my earlobe then disappearing around the corner.

***

I couldn’t keep a steady thought throughout the party. Ransom didn’t make eye contact with me the entire time. His eyes stayed glued to his phone, even when his mother was making a toast, whilst antagonizing Meg, and when Harlan came down to greet the family, he looked up for a second, then was back to his phone. I glanced at my watch. 10 minutes until the rendezvous and my heart was racing. To calm my nerves, I cruised around the parlour, collecting dirty dishes. Linda, Walt and Richard were having one of their “cultural” discussions and I knew I had made a mistake once I stepped into the room.

“Oh, Rachel!” Linda spoke. ‘Raquel’ I corrected in my mind. “I’m so sorry about how I acted earlier! I wasn’t feeling like myself and I truly apologize.”

“It’s truly no problem, ma’am,” I smiled weakly. I picked up the dishes and tried to leave the room.

“Rachel, a moment?” Richard called. I took a deep breath and turned back around. “How old were you when you first came to this country?”

“Excuse me?” I gasped. I was used to the microaggressions like Joni asking me where I got my lips done or asking to touch my hair, but THIS SHIT was going to far! “‘When did I come to this country?!’” By now everyone in the room, including Ransom were looking in our direction.

“I’m sorry... is it a touchy subject?” He asked. I put the dishes down and turned to him.

“I was born in Cambridge,” I told him. “And before you ask, my parents were born in New York City. What gave you the impression that I wasn’t born here?” ‘Besides the color of my skin.’ I wanted to add.

“Oh... my mistake,” Richard nodded. “I just thought that-”

“You thought wrong,” I sighed picking the dishes back up. As I walked out of the room, I noticed Ransom snickering from behind his phone. I knew my comment might cause some drama so I decided to get out of the party atmosphere and upstairs to Ransom’s room. I waited patiently and looked around. He kept it tidy. The wall was cleaned from earlier and his clothes were folded neatly on top of the dresser. I looked at my watch. Just a few more minutes until Ransom joined me upstairs. I’ll freshen up in the meantime. I walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. My heart wouldn’t stop pounding against my chest and I felt nervous. I splashed some water on my face and took several deep breaths. I heard shuffling coming from the other side of the door and I knew it was Ransom. I turned off the sink, dried my face, and went into the next room. He was adjusting something in his wardrobe when he noticed me. He walked over, smirking.

“You know, I said don’t draw attention to yourself,” he chuckled. “Telling my father off counts as drawing attention to yourself.”

“Sorry about that,” I nervously chuckled. “You dad is just... He’s a lot sometimes.”

“Trust me, I know. But enough about him. I think we were in the middle of something...” He bent down and kissed the nape of my neck, his hands roaming my body. I was moaning instantly. Being with Ransom made me feel dirty... But in a good way. I felt like a naughty girl hooking up with the bad boy next door. He was fondling my breasts and his knee kept my legs parted, rubbing against my vagina. He started to undo the buttons on my blouse when I had a sense of panic.

“Wait,” I gasped. He looked at me confused, still unbuttoning. “We shouldn’t do this... This is wrong-”

“Does it feel good?” He whispered, grinding me against his thigh. I moaned and nodded. “Then what’s the issue?” His hand went up my skirt and he pulled my panties down to my ankles. I don’t know why I was SO sensitive! The moment his fingers made contact with me, I grabbed onto him and moaned loudly. “Shit! You’re so fucking wet...” Ransom’s middle finger entered me while his thumb rubbed circles on my clit.

“God, yes!” I moaned. While his right hand worked wonders on me, his left hand finished undoing my top then began kneading my breast through my bra. “Fuck... I’m so close, Ransom...”

“No, not yet,” he told me.

“I can’t! Please don’t make-” He grabbed my face harshly and stared into my eyes.

“You better hold onto it, Raquel... I mean it. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Sir,” I whispered.

“Good girl,” he smirked. He removed both hands from my body, leaving me feeling empty. But then he dropped to his knees and helped me step out of my panties before hosting my leg over his shoulder and placing his tongue expertly on my core.

“Fuck!” I cried out. My fingers combed through his hair and my legs started quivering. While his right hand was holding my leg, his left hand slipped under my bra and pinched my nipple. “I’m gonna cum!” He pulled away from me and started using his fingers again.

“Beg me,” he looked up at me. “Beg me or I’ll stop. Say ‘Please, Sir, let me cum.’”

“Please, Sir, let me cum,” I repeated.

“Beg better. Say it again.”

“Please, Sir, let me cum.”

“Again!”

“Please, Sir, let me cum!” I begged.

“Tell me I’m the boss of you.”

“You’re the boss of me,” I panted.

“Tell me you work for me,” he told me. I snapped back into reality and looked down at him.

“What did you just say?” I asked. He stood up and grinned. He tilted my chin towards the opposite wall.

“Look into the camera and tell me you work for me,” he whispered. “Jacob?” The youngest of the Thrombey clan exited the wardrobe, his cell phone in hand. I jumped back and fumbled trying to close my blouse.

“What the fuck is going on?!” I gasped. Ransom took the phone from Jacob and glanced at the screen, smiling.

“Well, it looks to me like you’re getting your pussy eaten by your boss’ grandson,” he smirked, turning the screen to me. “I wonder what would happen if he saw this... She’d probably get fired, right Jacob?”

“I’d fire her,” Jacob nodded.

“Please don’t do this,” I pleaded, trying to fight back tears.

“Don’t you mean, ‘Please don’t do this, Sir?’” Jacob mocked, making them both laugh.

“So, by the looks of it, it seems like you do work for me, Maid,” he got in my face. “And I’d watch your step from now on. Wouldn’t wanna accidentally send this to Grandfather...” I couldn’t hold back anymore and I burst into tears. Ransom looked at me confused. “Are... Are you actually crying...?”

“Go fuck yourself, Hugh!” I cried. I stormed out of the room, buttoning my shirt, tears streaming down my face.

~~~

A/N: Lmaoooo what did you expect?? Ransom is an asshole in and out of the movie. But it gets smuttier so... Stay tuned 😈😈😈

Taglist: @uhlxis​ @melannie77​ @tanyam93​ @scootybobooty​ @hailmary-yramliah​ @phatthor1234​ @dreamxeyes​ @blackpantherimagines​ @emoniclark22 @thedescentintoinsanity @scarletxwinter​ @05spn18​ @iammeantformuchmore​ @forbeautyandlife (TAG LIST IS OPEN!) YOU MUST AGREE TO REBLOG W/ COMMENTS TO CONTINUE TO BE ON THE TAGLIST! NO EXCEPTIONS!

[purplesurveys]

1169

Do you take lessons for anything? No. I’ve done so in the past, but not at the moment.

Has something really heavy ever fallen on you?  Other than siblings or cousins from when we played together as kids, I don’t think so.

If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear?  I never wear makeup but whenever my friends have used my face as a practice stage (lol) they’ve usually just used natural or nude-ish colors, which I find look okay on me.

Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? It has a sliding door. I’m not sure what material it’s made out of, but I can tell you it’s at least not glass.

If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other?  Cooper does tend to bark and/or whine when he sees me giving more attention to Kimi, but not always. Kimi couldn’t give less of a crap, but this is also because he is 13.

Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? I used to not like being inside my bedroom, especially after the breakup. For a long time it was a place I only associated with crying and breakdowns, so when I was doing the arduous task of starting over I haaaaated staying there because it only hurled me right back to square one. But I’m happy to say that I eventually got better, had enough strength to change the narrative for my room, and now I like being here again :)

Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? My mom just asked me to watch Cooper because he was having the zoomies.

Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn?  Not a big fan of popcorn but if I had to pick a topping, I’d go with cheddar cheese.

Are you lonely?  I’ll feel it sometimes, but it only lasts for a moment or so.

What’s your favorite magazine to read?  Wow I haven’t read a magazine in years.

Do you like pineapple?  I hate it. In all forms. The pizza debate doesn’t even matter to me lmao, I just think pineapple downright sucks.

Have you ever seen fireflies? They used to be common in our village when we first moved in, back when there were only like 3 houses in the neighborhood (we were one of the first to move in here). As more houses were built and the place got more occupied the fireflies gradually lessened until they disappeared altogether.

Have you ever trespassed?  I very vividly remember taking multiple trips to the school cemetery back in grade school (I went to Catholic school and ours had a cemetery below our chapel, where all our deceased nuns were housed...I really shouldn’t be talking about this at 10 PM...). I am 100% sure that was an off-limits area but we went there anyway because we were a naughty group of kids and because no one was guarding the area.

Do you tell your parents where you are going? Yeah; if I live with them, they have the right to know. < Ooh, I’ve never even thought about it this way before but this is a very good point. I’ll second this, haha.

Do you agree with the notion that all people were created equal? Yes.

Do you raise your hand or participate in class? God never. I hid as much as I can and only recited if I was called on purpose.

Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not?  I like the malls that we have. But then again, malls are the only decent public spaces we have - we don’t have public libraries, parks, playgrounds, etc. – so it’s not like I have a choice on where I can go if I want to go out. 

Have you ever purposely hurt an animal?  Yeah I kill bugs when I see them. Soz, I have no feelings for them whatsoever.

Would you ever see a therapist?  I planned to finally do this last year but it just fell through haha and eventually I was able to care for myself too. Now that I’m doing a lot better for the most part, I feel like I’d have no clue what to talk about once faced with one.

Are you afraid of heights?  Only if I had to jump all the way down. But if I ever found myself staying at an extreme height simply to enjoy the view, or if I was ever in one of those towers where the top floor’s floor is made out of glass, I think I would enjoy that.

Are you afraid of the dark?  I always say I’m usually not afraid of the dark, and will only be if I was in a situation that was intended to scare me. I would definitely be afraid of the dark if I was in like an abandoned cave or a haunted house, but I would also find the darkness in my room comforting.

Are you a jealous person?  When I am it’s mostly been in a playful sense and rarely serious.

When is your birthday? April 21st.

What are you listening to right now? My very very old aircon doing its very very loud whirring thing. It’s become a running joke in the family because it is literally SO FUCKING LOUD hahahaha Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing?  As a goody-goody, I can only ever do this to my mom; but yeah, she’s caught me many times.

Are you still friends with someone from kindergarten?  Sure, but I’m not ~close friends with any of them. Just chummy enough to like their photos on social media once in a while or greet them happy birthday. My oldest friend was from Grade 1.

What is the most important thing to you?  Being happy with myself and making sure I don’t miss out on life and opportunities.

Do you like whipped cream?  I can take it or leave it.

Are you close to your mother?  We get along but not close.

Are you close to your father? I’m closer to him in the sense that I would be more comfortable around him, but we’re also not physically or emotionally close. 

Do you walk around bare foot when you're at home? Or do you wear socks?  I am Asian hahaha what do you think?

Do you like chocolate popsicles?  Sure! One would sound lovely right now, actually.

Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume?  Both of the schools I’ve attended don’t have mascots.

Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben?  Great Wall for sure. Sorry but I can’t see myself getting excited over a giant clock, and I’m sure there are other lovely spots in London I’d much rather visit. 

Have you ever written a poem?  Always unsuccessfully. It’s never been my forte.

Would you ever be a tornado chaser?  That’s a thing? Uh...no way??

What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff?  Pizza. And anything, I guess. Barbecue sauce is the bomb.

Your parents tell you that this summer, you get to pick the vacation. Where do you plan to go?  Covid notwithstanding and budget permitting, probably New York City.

What do you think is a good theme for a prom?  I could not care less.

Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? Thankfully, never.

Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? About what?  You know, I’ve always thought going to the doctor was no sweat until I realized just how nervous I was when I had to book a telemedicine consultation once as part of my job (PR can make you do the most random, out of context things sometimes, I swear haha). I surprised even myself with the reaction I had when I found out I had to do it, and how I felt like declining the offer...I guess I was scared about the possibility of underlying health issues suddenly being unearthed. Your whole life can always get turned upside down in the blink of an eye with just one diagnosis.

Have you ever been to the rainforest?  I’m pretty sure the climate I live in is called tropical rainforest, so I guess yeah.

Have you ever created a website?  Not from scratch. I had always made it under an umbrella website, like Blogspot.

Ever thought about writing a book?  Sure, as a kid.

Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone?  No. Whenever I have dreams of that nature it’s always me or a loved one being killed, but never me doing the killing.

Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? Yes.

Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose?  Stuffy. It sucks not being able to breathe freely.

Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat?  I super hate sore throat. I already get stomachaches frequently, so even though I know how sucky it can be I feel like the discomfort would be bigger with a sore throat.

Do you think your last relationship was a disaster?  The way it ended was, but it wouldn’t be fair to myself to invalidate the genuine happiness I felt when I was in it.

Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube?  Never.

Who do you think is the easiest to talk to?  Angela.

Would you consider yourself to be emo?  No.

Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal?  Not really, no.

What is your current desktop picture?  It’s just one of the provided desktop photos on my Mac.

Thick or thin blanket?  Thick.

Who are your favorite bands?  Paramore, Coldplay, and Against Me!

How do you mark through your word search puzzles?  Depends on my mood. Sometimes I’ll strike through and sometimes I’ll go ahead and encircle the entire word altogether.

Have you ever sewn something?  I’ve done embroidery...does that count?

What did you eat for dinner last night?  We had breakfast for dinner, actually hahaha so my dad made an omelette, hotdogs, and tapa.

Ever been grounded? If so, for what?  Continued from last night. Yes, I was caught cursing all over Twitter when I was like 11 so my parents cut off my access to all my gadgets for a year or so. Which, in retrospect, is an acceptable consequence for my actions, but we’re also talking about a time when schools were starting to view the internet as a necessity in doing homework and research. I missed out on nearly all my homework for a while, and my mom didn’t buy it when I kept telling her I needed to do my research over the internet. At the same time, she kept demanding why my grades weren’t doing so well when she was the reason they kept being pulled down...so yep, not a very fun time.

Have you seen all of the Jaws movies?  No and I don’t really have the desire to. Doesn’t seem like my kind of movie.

When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer)  Maybe 2 or 3 years ago.

Have you ever drank Cherry Coke? No, I don’t drink any soda.

Have you ever had a black eye?  Nope.

Have you ever eaten a bug?  Not to my recollection, but I would love to try cooked crickets and whatever bug can be prepared and eaten.

Do you like pranking people?  Never; the idea makes me cringe since I never know when it’s considered going too far. I’d rather watch people prank other people.

Did you ever take a cooking class in school?  Yeah, but we were required to take it. We also had some baking sessions, which to me was a lot more fun. I remember having to make macarons and rainbow cake which are both right up my alley, heehee.

Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?  No, idk what that is. I just know people turn everything green on that day lol.

Do you use Skype?  I’ve never used Skype on my own. That’s where I used to talk to my dad for video calls maybe around a decade ago, whenever he was abroad; but I never had my own account. These days I alternate among Microsoft Teams, Google  Meet, or Zoom.

Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches?  I don’t think so, but I did join a few contests on some of those kid’s magazines we used to have...none of which I won.

Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress?  No.

Is your ex sexually attractive to you still?  I haven’t seen her in 5 months, which helps...that said, I simply feel nothing. I’m neither sexually attracted nor not sexually attracted to her.

Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had.  I can think of one but I don’t see the point in still raising it, considering where I am in life right now.

Have you ever cheated on a test?  Yes, once. I hated it.

Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? Nope.

How often does your employer ask you to work overtime?  A few times a week. Sometimes I’ll do it willingly as well just to get the task over with or to save myself some deliverables the next morning. I’m fine with OT-ing tbh; since I work from home, I feel like my time is a lot more flexible.

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? I read A LOOOOOT as a kid. I was a total bookworm. < Yeah, same. You could always find me bringing a book to school and reading during breaks, even though they technically didn’t allow us to bring any non-academic book. My spark for reading died when I was around 12, same time as when my depression started to kick in, and it never really came back.

When was the last time you were scared?  Someone from the media called me up yesterday VIA LANDLINE to ask a question about a press release I had sent out that day. I usually read up on the materials we have, but I honestly didn’t give a shit about that particular story and didn’t really make an effort to know more about it, so I found myself stumped when he dropped the question. I ended up stalling for a bit before I was able to stutter an answer, so that was scary, but at least he was nice. Also, I hate phone calls.

What’s your favorite song by Rihanna?  KISS IT KISS IT BETTER

Can you speak binary?  No, I never understood it.

Would you rather live somewhere that had hurricanes or tornadoes?  I already do, at least for hurricanes. I imagine I’d be terrified of tornadoes.

Have you ever had a pet that you disliked?  Nooooooo, never. I was never close to Arlee but I still did my best for her to like me, and always fed her whenever my sister would be in her dorm.

When was the last time you saw hail?  Never. Doesn’t happen all that often here, and when it does it’s always in the provinces.

What is on your mind right this second:  I want to spend my remaining time awake reading fanfic (I’m into them again, omg) but I also wanna finish surveys...so I’m doing my best to breeze through this so I can finally look for something to read hahahahaha.

Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)?  Cooper is Cooperino to me. Sometimes I’ll call him Cooperino Cappuccino. Kimi is Kimchi, Kimmerl, Kimberly, The Kimster, and sometimes Lolo, which is grandpa in Filipino heheh.

When was the last time you shaved your legs?  Like 3 or 4 days ago.

Do you ever try free samples at the store?  Nope.

Do you like boys with long hair?  Physical traits don’t matter much to me.

Do you like rootbeer?  I’ve never tried it but I don’t really want to either haha. It smells weird.

What is the best fast food place, in your opinion?  KFC or Taco Bell. Or Jollibee.

Do you have faith in yourself?  Starting to.