#Do I wanna be an English teacher or am I just mad at my English teacher

[privateerstudies]

.

[clarissaweasley-10]

okay (rant)

TODAY WAS FUCKING SHIT. FIRST I GOT MY PERIOD AND MY STOMACH HAS BEEN HURTING ALL DAY (which owuld be okay IF IT WASNT FOR TWO LITTLE FUCKERS THAT RUINED MY DAY)

okay firstly, my english teacher. respectfully sir i hope you fall down the stairs and die in the most miserable way possible. SO WE HAD A GROUP PROJECT AND I GAVE THE REST TO MY GROUPMATES AND I TOOK ON ONE BIG TASK MYSELF (cuz it was arts and crafts) AND MY TWO GROUPMATES WEREN'T DONE BUT THEY DIDNT RLY NEED HELP AND THEY WERE NEARLY DONE ANYWAY SO I TOOK OUT MY SKETCHBOOK AND STARTED DRAWING AND THEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER COMES UP AND HE;S LIKE

"{real name}, Gem, stop painting in your notebook"

"But i'm done with my work" AND THEN THIS BITCH KEPT TELLING ME TO GO DO STH LIKE BRO I WAS DONE WITH MY PART OF THE GROUP WORK ITS PERFECT I GOT MY LINES AND MY FRIENDS DON'T NEED HELP AND HE KEPT TELLNG ME TO BASICALLY DO MY GROUPMATES WORK FOR THEM LIKE STFU.

if it wasn't bad enough I glared at him and was like "ths isnt fair. respecffulyl im done with my work. They don't need help finishing up theirs and besides i already did half the work. we already have an idea and everything." and this mf went up andstarted lecturing me on how life isnt fair sometimes

LIKE SIR YOU ARE A RICH WHITE BRITISH ADULT MAN. IF ANYTHING YOU DO NOT GET TO TELL ME HOW LIFE ISNT FUCKING FAIR BECAUSE AS A ASIAN PERSON OR COLOR OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT WHO IS ALSO A TEENAGE GIRL WHO HAS PERIODS AND CRAMPS, I WOULD KNOW ABOUT UNFAIRNESS. HE, WOULD. FUCKING. NOT. KNOW. A .SHIT.ABOUT.UNFAIRNESS. so respetctrfulyl,shti up

(sry for the long rant im so mad rn)

no no its alr pls feel free to rant whenever you want... its alr girlie we all have our moments BUT I SERIOUSLY WANNA CHOKE THAT ENGLISH TEACHER OF YOURS RN. LIKE BITXH HE HAS SOME AUDACITY- one thing i rly hate abt teachers is how they can never keep their noses to themselves like pls leave me alone, why cant they fricking just mind their businness and let us mind ours? besides i am coming to vietnam with a gun to shoot of all the bad guys..

@isthataraccoon d'you think u have a gun that i can borrow for a while??

[sevenpoyo]

some brooklyn slang ik for all the ppl who wanna write for miles and kilometers‼️

feel free to add more idk everything but i i am originally from there and visit a lot this stuff i hear a lot and if you wanna add slang to ur writing this is a good place to start, not all of these brooklyn or ny exclusive but that’s where a lot of american slang starts and u prolly heard some of it b4. imma list it ne ways

don’t use like 8 of these in one sentence bc it will sound weird and i can’t really cover ny puerto rican slang or any puerto rican slang really bc my grandad is a bum so if you know some add it

the city is manhattan, not the other 4 burroughs, just manhattan, cus that’s where everything’s at

to cut ass is to roast tf out of someone , to get your ass cut is get tf roasted out of you

wyling/wilding is being outta pocket, something being absurd or crazy

yeah nah means no and nah yeah means yeah idk why they gotta make it complicated just look at the second word

good looks is like good looking out

it’s bout to be winter and i’m bout to see mad christmas fics and shit but do y’all know the proper way to describe cold ny winters?

if it’s cold as hell, it’s brick outside, not regular cold, ny winter is like nipples so hard i see em thru the bra cold

ex; “how it’s so brick outside i walk to the store wit my hair wet and it deadass got icicles in it” “yeah it’s fr brick outside today” “i’m not walkin wit u in this brick ass weather for a bacon egg and cheese?” (actual convo between my sister and me last winter break)

fronting seem kinda easy to me but is like acting or pretending i can’t explain it with out an example

“why you fronting like you wouldn’t die if they text you asking u to go out with them” “you can stop fronting like you like cars it cool if you don’t” “don’t sit there fronting like u don’t wanna dance wit me”

being tight over something is just being upset or annoyed

rj is so smart they said “We say tight bc you kinda huddle close to yourself when you tense/stressed or angry” i had no idea i just be saying it i aint know it had a reason💀 it make sm sense now.

“who got you tight like that this early in the morning?” “my momma came home tight yesterday for no reason, she threw a boot at me!” “i’m so tight this damn shift change has me working all closers this week”

jack is like claiming someone or something

i talk old as hell idk what the youths be jacking nowadays

cop is basically to get, used to be mostly 4 drugs back in the day my dad said (he don’t know why im asking him this)

“just copped me some retro 3’s” “bout to cop me a few percs in a minute”

speaking of a minute, mostly for my non americans bc that’s who get confused the most when i say this one. depending on the context this can mean a actual minute, a short time or a real long

“i’ll be back in a minute” is short “i ain’t seen y’all in a minute” is long. idk how to explain the difference besides context

bop is a good song, pretty easy but i see ppl on tiktok use it wrong

bangs/banger goes hard is kinda like bob for music but i be using it for anything fr

“this push pop is banging yo”

mad can be used normal like angry but it also means a lot or really kinda like hella ig? i usually uses hella when i would say mad so ppl can understand me easier up here

dumb also mean very in the same way

ex; “my english teacher give out mad homework for no reason.” “she be giving me mad shit over the smallest stuff” “i just had some mad good wings so i’m cooling rn” “this shit is mad spicy u sure you want some?” ''This shit got me dumb tight'' “you don’t need no jacket it’s dumb hot out here”

smacked is like high as fuck idk how to elaborate ur just high

lit is drunk

“Yuuuur!'' A signal, a greeting usually used to catch the attention of someone or something very fun greeting and very hated by schools, it’s weird anywhere outside of ny kinda at least to me.

being hollywood means u get a little fame and think ur all that or just that u got a little fame and they’re jokingly hating

ex; “i saw u on the news the other day, “the prowlers return” u must be real proud of yourself huh hollywood?” “and here comes hollywood wit his trending tiktoks”

real talk is when ur about confess something or say something serious in a not real serious setting or convo

“real talk we play a lot but i love you, my life would be boring with out you around” “real talk i’d never do that to you foreal”

go together is like go out kinda, y’all kinda match behavior cus y’all a couple, this one need a sentence 2 i think. (THIS ONE IS OLD AS HELL ONLY USE IT IF UR TRYING TO RIZZ MOMMA RIO)

“he want ur number? he don’t know we we go together or sum?” “why she wanna act like we go together, ion even know her?” “don’t we go together?”

i can’t even explain it with a sentence y’all just gotta figure this one out 💀

A bodega/deli is a convenience store ik most know this from the movie but some ppl think it’s all stores or all spanish stores when it’s just a corner store

the owners of the deli closest to my granddad house is muslim. and so we keep track of all muslim holidays when he’s closed

an ock is the bodega man, miles knows the man’s name at the deli we see him visit, but at any other store he’d call the guy ock

dipping on someone is changing ur mind last minute, usually canceling plans

ex “we was supposed to go get outfits together but they dipped on me last minute”

staticky is like wanting to fight or still being pissed after a fight

static is beef or on sight energy

you good can really be anything but imma list ones i can think of

it can mean like are you ok? or don’t worry about it, or how are you, or stop, or do you got a issue? or do you want an issue? it’s all in the tone of how it’s said fr

'Word of my moms/dads I saw/ did/did not *insert topic*'' Honest term, no lying present in statement i feel like (my cousins be putting anything on they momma fr risking shit on her for no reason)

'hold it down'' handle buisness / take care of someone or something. can also be in refrence to criminal who handles ''buisness''

NOW EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO @rashadisback BC HE CARRIED ME ON THIS‼️

i hope this helps any writers that don’t live here!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for telling my lil sis that she isn't that important even when her friend group is standing with us?

[😬💣🫐]

This is a long story background of the story / main focus(???)

Soo me[16F] am I highschooler and I have this extra activity that I do after school called landservice.( Basically we're a group of a bunch of people from the same school that shows to 4 loves by working together. The 4 loves are: love for your fellow people, love for your beliefs, love for labour amd love for nature)

It's my sister's[10F] first year of doing landservice, while I have been doing it for over 7 years. She was really sceptical over whether she wanted to do it but my mother insisted she try just as she did with me 7 years ago.

Soo I just wanna say that her middel school's landservice was soo crappy I had to endure it for 4 years. Soo last year at our once a year meeting to get ideas of what to do next year, we decided we would go help the middle school with their landservice.

We have done it once and yesterday(22/02) me and 4 others were chosen to help the kids make small bunnies out of wool( i was the oldest there rest were 13-15). Now for us highschool kids it's easy peasy but let me tell you middleschoolers don't have a single thought in their brain.

We were task to help the kids when they struggled and were divided in different groups. I got stuck alone with the grade 4 who were the most kids there(there was like 30 grades 4s there mixed language) and since their the youngest of the bunch they struggled the most.

I helped there and then there then suddenly there's like five or four kids surrounding me with questions.( just to say I am very shy with people my age but I absolutely love working with kids.)

Soo here's where the story gets interesting!

My sister and her group didn't really understand the task of what to do and I had to go and help them frequently (they still didn't get it right though)

She would get me to help her group while I'm busy with other kids. Then at one point she just started crying because hers wasn't working out and her friends tried to get me to go help her. But at that moment I was help 7 English kids[my English is the best in our group of five soo I also had to help them alot more] and explaining how to do it with the limited time we had. And her friends just kept bothering us till I said to go let some one else help her.

After I help the bunch I went to try to find my sister, just to find out she refused to get help from anyone else in our group even the teachers. Now that really pissed me off.

I went to talk to her and said that I wasn't there to be her babysitter or mother I was here to help ALL OF THE KIDS THERE not just her. I wasn't going to take this bullcrap from her she is old enough to do it alone or be able to ask anyone else for help.

So that's where I landed in front of my sisters friend group telling her she isn't that important amd she was bloody mad. Soo were he friends calling me a bully amd that I was to mean.

Also told our mum about this later and she says she understand but that was an asshole move.

And after alot of thought I see where I could be the asshole.

Soo aita???

What are these acronyms?

[jokertrap-ran]

BAD MEDICINE ~Infectious teachers~ [PC GAME] Kashu Remu (Chemistry) Route Translations (Part 15)

MC’s name is retained as the original MC name Kawana Hina.

* Words within ‘   ‘ are spoken in English – *Spoiler free : Translations under cut! *T/N: Ah, yes. Hi guys, I'm still alive! Just a little swamped with work and uh, I got back into... minecrafting

Prologue / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15

⊳Choice: Go see Kashu-sensei

Hina: (I’ve never seen Kashu-sensei that grumpy and irritated…)

Hina: (And here I am… at the Chemistry lab.)

Hina: (He’s probably inside, isn’t he? I’ll just sneak it quietly…)

———————————————

Kashu: …

Hina: (Yeah, he’s definitely behaving strangely. I don’t believe he’s ever been this quiet while experimenting. But then again, what do I know?)

Kashu: Oh… Did it fail?

Kashu: Looks like a failure alright. Ahh, damn~ Pity~

Kashu: Should I try again~? Guess I’ll do just that…

Kashu: …Actually, never mind. I’ll just drink it~

Hina: (HUH!?)

Hina: You’re actually drinking a failed medicine!? What are you thinki-

Kashu: Eh…?

Kashu: …

Kashu: This has nothing to do with you. Not even the itty-bittiest bit. Bleh.

Hina: (He immediately turned his back on me. His cheeks are all puffed out, though. Is he sulking? But, why…?)

Kashu: …

Kashu: …H-Huh? Eh? Hmm???

Kashu: Nooo, why? I don’t wanna talk right now!

Hina: Um, Sensei…?

Kashu: Ahhh, but still~!

Kashu: Ugh, fine, fine. I get it! You’re the only one here anyway. So be it!

Kashu: Geez! Now’s your turn to take responsibility for your actions!

Hina: Eek!? Ermm, Sensei…? What in the world are you…

Kashu: What, you ask? The medicine failed! And not just that, it also has side effects that I don’t understand in the slightest!

Kashu: It’s no harmful medicine. And it’s not like it’s a truth serum or anything.

Kashu: I was just trying to create a remedy that would make you feel better and less mad. It failed though…

Hina: I-I see. That’s a relief to hear… but why are you holding onto my arm?

Kashu: I just told you to take responsibility for your actions, didn’t I?

Hina: Ehh…?

Kashu: You can’t just come barging in here at a time like this, you know.

Kashu: I don’t understand where this originated from, but this is a side-effect.

Hina: A side-effect? You grabbing and holding onto my arm is a side-effect???

Kashu: I'm overwhelmed by the feeling of not wanting to be alone, and it looks like I can’t shut up about it either. I really don’t understand this!

Kashu: I really, really, don’t want to be alone, so I have to be in constant contact with someone to feel at ease!

Kashu: So I don’t have any other choice but to do this! This isn’t my fault! It’s all because the medicine failed!

Kashu: And it only failed because I couldn’t concentrate on making it at all!

Kashu: You’re the reason why I was distracted, so take responsibility and stick with me till the side effects wear off!

Kashu: B-But it's not like we have anything we can talk about while we’re stuck here together either!

Hina: *Sighs* Looks like we’ll just have to wait out the side effects.

Kashu: Yeah!

Hina: I’ll remain here till the medicine wears off, so feel free to grasp onto me. And I’ll also hear you out, whatever you have to say.

Kashu: Like I said, there’s absolutely nothing to talk about!

Hina: (Oh. So I’m the reason why he’s been acting all strange.)

Hina: (He wasn’t willing to share the real reason behind the sudden change in his attitude before, and he’s not likely to do it now either. )

Kashu: Ugh, I can’t believe this. I don’t wanna talk but it’s sheer torture to remain here in silence…

Kashu: It would’ve been great if Kakeru-kun was here instead~ This is soooo awkward.

Hina: Um, Sensei?

Kashu: …What?

Kashu: Leave me alone~ It’s not like I’m doing this because I want to…

Hina: Even if you say that…

Hina: It would be odd for me not to be concerned since you’re holding onto my arm, and you’re clearly acting strange.

Kashu: Boo… Fine, I get it already.

Kashu: Geez~ Can this side effect disappear already? It didn’t have the effect I’d intended for it to have at all! This is a huuuge failure.

Hina: Um… Why did you want to make a medicine to ease anger anyway?

Kashu: …Isn’t it tiring to be mad?

Kashu: And it's so troublesome since I can't focus on my experiments! That's all!

Kashu: …Ah. 

Hina: Hm?

Kashu: Yes! The side effects have finally worn off! See you!

Hina: Huh? Wait a minu-

Hina: He's already gone… His having failed the experiment is one thing, but to abandon his experiment just like that? That's odd even for him…

Hina: (He said this was all my family earlier, so it must be something I did, right…?)

Hina: But wasn't I just absent from school due to a bad cold?

What should I do?  ⊳Choice: Go see Kashu-sensei ⊳Choice: Go participate in Club Activities

[maybebitterxox]

A collection of out-of-context quotes & conversation snippets from my classmates and teachers

TEACHER: “How did you fail second grade?” STUDENT: “Ma’am, I was really bad at arts and crafts”

STUDENT: “I didn’t even get my scissor or pen license. I’ve been writing illegally all this time!”

TEACHER: “Alcoholism is not the answer to lion attacks”

STUDENT: “Monkeys have no fear, bro. A monkey would probably pass a pure maths test”

STUDENT: “Simba would be broken apart by my goons”

STUDENT: “If I see a hyena wearing my bonnet tomorrow morning, it’s over”

STUDENT: “I don’t wanna stare at his nipples, it feels like they’re staring back at me”

STUDENT: “I feel like a chef that’s gone mad”

STUDENT: “What’s up with these gangsta birds on the road?”

STUDENT: “Imagine a donkey assassinates you while you’re playing soccer”

TEACHER: “Did you say thank you?” STUDENT: “Ma’am, I spooned him, that’s how grateful I am.” TEACHER: “Okay, that’s a bit too far… were you the big spoon or the little spoon?” STUDENT: “Little spoon.”

STUDENT, TO TEACHER: “If I don’t go anywhere in life, it’s your fault.”

TEACHER: “We’re gonna fight behind the dustbins”

TEACHER: “You’ll fight me with the bible?”  STUDENT: “I’ll have it in my hand so that God will forgive me with each punch” 

TEACHER: “I’m broken on the inside”

STUDENT 1: “Ma’am, he took the chocolate!” STUDENT 2: “I was just checking the nutritional values!” 

STUDENT: “He asked ‘how do you cope with this’ and I’m just like, I don’t”

STUDENT: “I might follow through on my joke with ma’am about reading the communist manifesto”

TEACHER: “Did your english run out? Like airtime?”

STUDENT, UNPROMPTED: “I hit my head on a metal pole today”

STUDENT: “My eyes were hot, my ears were hot, my head was hot, my oxygen was hot. Everything was hot.” 

STUDENT: “I can feel the vibes here! W rizz gang!”

STUDENT: “You are the epitome of animal cruelty”

STUDENT: “If I have HIV and my partner has HIV and we have sex, does it cancel out?”

TEACHER: “Take your dick and get out”

TEACHER: “So see, what I’ve suggested to the school, I’m going to get a fan. And I’m going to fill a rugby sock with batteries, and tie that sock to the fan. And when you get easy questions wrong, I’m going to clear away the tables and have you stand in the middle of the class under the fan, and I’m going to beat you with my batteries.”

[rrcenic]

dead poets society as things my friends/family have said

huge trigger warning for discussion of suicide

-

neil: fuck fuck fuck

todd: what’s wrong?

neil: my workload was too much so i switched from honors algebra 2 to regular algebra 2 and i don’t know how to tell my dad

todd: you’re still two years ahead in math though

neil: yeah but my dad gets so mad when i don’t take every academic opportunity i can

todd: dude you just got out of the psych ward. i think he’ll understand!

neil: hhhhngg

-

neil: bro i didn’t even realize i had daddy issues til i became unnaturally infatuated with my english teacher

-

cameron: greetings fellow fraternity males. i am not working for your landlord and i simply want to hang out with fellow “dudes.” on an unrelated note are any of you in possession of illegal drugs and/or alcohol?

knox: yeah check under the chair

cameron: alright “broski” i will be simply taking photos of this not for reporting reasons and for personal reasons

pitts: do you have like a fetish or something

cameron: yes um a fetish i am not working for your landlord

-

todd: oh he’s so pretty! it’s so sad that he killed himself

todd: i mean obviously because like. killing yourself is never the answer

todd: but mainly because he was so pretty!!

-

charlie: i call this poem “every day i wake up and dream of olive garden”

-

meeks: this is literally the most autistic group i’ve ever been in and i love it

neil: oh i’m neurodivergent in many ways but the ‘tisim is surprisingly not one of them

-

charlie: shakespeare sucks ass

neil: i will stab you

-

neil: i can’t hang out today, i have therapy

pitts: you? therapy? but you’re so happy!

neil: …

neil: i’ve tried to kill myself like 5 times

pitts: WHAT

neil: did. did you not know that?!?!

-

knox: hey dyou wanna watch a tv show with me

neil: what’s it about?

knox: there’s lots of pretty women

neil: …

knox: …

neil: …

knox: and pretty men

neil: i’m in

-

charlie: america is fucked. our society is literally being ripped apart by capitalism. trans people are being criminalized more every day

knox: it’s not that bad

charlie: name one good thing that has happened to the trans community in the past year. i’ll wait

knox: …

knox: well um some politicians support trans people

charlie: THATS NOT ENOUGH

-

keating: *texting to the group chat* so technically since most of you are my former students i’m not allowed to be friends with you

keating: but you all rock so my excuse is we work on creative projects as a group outside of school

keating: however i can’t just chat with you when you’re bored

*that night*

todd: hey i’m really sorry for contacting you about non creative stuff but i just had a panic attack and don’t know what to do

keating: oh that bullshit? nah man you’re fine text whenever

-

cameron: charlie just gave me this plastic spoon and ran away does anyone know what it means

gloria: lucky i wish nuwanda had given ME the spoon

cameron: WHAT DOES IT MEAN

-

neil: i know what we’re gonna do after group therapy. we’re gonna have a poetry contest. we’ll call it psych ward poetry. i’m going to beat all of you with my mad poetry skills

-

meeks: oh and pooh represents… hm, i actually can’t remember

charlie: google it

meeks: yeah but we can’t have our phones

knox: hey mr mcallister? could you use your phone to google what mental illness the winnie the pooh characters represent?

mcallister: what the actual hell are you talking about

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Dear Academia, I guess you can die mad about the curtains, if it bothers you that much...?

Wow, I just watched... Wow.

(I didn't really just watch it. I saved this and sat on it to see if I cooled off and decided I was being too mean. Since then, I've tripped over another essay where someone ripped into a work because they didn't understand it well enough to see the curtains at all, and I didn't like that either. I've decided to post this, so later I can post my reaction to the other one like a matching bookend!)

I made you a graphic about it!

So, I just watched my High School AP English teacher transcend time and space, possess the body of an a YouTuber, and try to drag me for quitting my English major due to being sick of dissecting the work of other writers until it dies.

Also, they put text up on the screen that I was supposed to read, over a decorative text background, and if I could pull money out of their Patreon, much like Mark Twain with the collection plate, I would've taken a nickel. For spite.

So, I guess I'm gonna talk about the blue curtains?

First of all, don't go looking for the video to drag this person. At worst, they are a little self-important and over-emotional. At best, their brain got shredded by the same process mine rejected and they are recovering. Be kind. I don't wanna hurt them, I'm trying to fire over their head. And take this with a grain of silly.

This is the meme. I couldn't find the original, uncensored version, and I don't care all that much, so here ya go.

One of YTer's friends referenced this meme, and it offended their intelligence and ability to critique art. Instead of having a more typical reaction, like thinking, "Ah, yes, you are only expressing your frustration with the school system's unreasonable expectations. As a fellow sufferer, I shall express my solidarity, and henceforth we shall share a sensible chuckle," and then chuckling sensibly, they telegraphed their offence to a slur on Art itself and wrote an essay. Of course, it is Capitalism's fault.

Now, Capitalism is most definitely tearing up the school system and inflicting lasting trauma on everyone involved and hurting Art. There is a lot of meat to be had on this bone. I would've left money in the collection plate for an engaging essay on that!

What I got was: "Art exists for you to tear it to pieces and squeeze every last instance of poetic meaning out of it, like you're hucking an orange into a juicer, and if you don't do that, you're dumb. Capitalism has made you dumb, because your dumbness is more profitable. I, on the other hand, huck Art into the juicer that is my brain, as one should, because I'm smart. The curtains are never blue. Fight the Power."

And right away, I thought: Oh, Mrs. Hillburn, I know this is how you enjoy Art. I know you really love it. You full-body crashed into a filing cabinet while explaining the Canterbury Tales to us, so I know you really do love "close reading" and want to share your joy. You're allowed to do that! God love you! But sometimes the curtains are blue.

And that wouldn't be a problem - except your job is to judge everyone on their ability, not only to interpret the curtains as something other than blue, but also to cough up a "valid" interpretation. And your judgment will affect whether they can get a job that pays them enough money to live. Now, you are free to do that. When I write things, I give them to the world! But, I'm not doing that to help you sort the children into an appropriate pay grade by demanding that they enjoy my work in the same way you do. Why would I do that? That makes no fucking sense.

I am saying this as someone writing a long-ass story that has a lot to do with objects being a certain colour and numbers adding up to a certain sum. That's there for you if you want it! Pink things are safe, orange things are hazardous, yellow means despair, and green-and-orange together is something unpleasant, because Erik doesn't like carrots and the whole world revolves around him. (Don't tell him, he'll be very upset. The world is terrible.) Do I need you to get that in order to understand my work and be "smart"? Fuck no. It's an Easter Egg. Also, it amuses me. Sometimes you need to know the number or the colour for your immersion, so I generate one in a way that has meaning for me.

There is shit in that story that I know you'll never get, because I based it off shit I wrote as a teenager that you'll never read. (It was terrible. I fixed it. I think.) This is my own personal "Glass Onion" (the song, not so much the movie). I am not obliged to imbue everything with a meaning for you to find. I'm not secretly trying to tell you Paul is dead! I'm just a human being with a sense of humour who gets bored - and sloppy and confused too.

So maybe the curtains are blue because I'm cribbing the setting off this motel room I stayed at one time and the curtains were blue. Maybe I'm saying "Hi" to my dog. Or the Blue's Clues dog. Maybe, god help us, there were actual blue curtains at the time and place I set my story and you'd see them if you found a photo. But I'm not gonna tell you if it doesn't matter. And it's not your job to make it matter if you don't get it. You can still pick up what I'm laying down. And, dammit, if you spend too much time wrapped up in the curtains, you might miss the rest of it.

There seems to be some idea that Art is hard and artists (at least #Real_Artists) must be something more than human to do it. Oh. My. God. Literally! You created this thing? Everything is there because you put it there? Everything that exists here is a thought-child you birthed from your brain like Athena? With intent? I enjoy it so much! It feels so real! How do you DO that? And, for fuck's sake, it's the same way you make a yummy sandwich or pick out a ripe melon or trim the cat's nails without getting a wound that needs stitches. You decide you want to, and you keep at it until you get good at it. You don't need to ask permission or pay a fee. The world is a classroom. Go learn. Keep trying until you figure out a way that works for you, or you decide you'd rather learn something else - and then go learn that instead.

The pedestal is very flattering, but nobody belongs up here. The very idea of a pedestal is preventing people from picking up a tool and making a thing. Can you, a mere mortal, really create a new reality from scratch, where everything is intentional and full of meaning? FUCK no! Nobody can do that! Sometimes I am lovingly imbuing every facet of my creation with meaning, and sometimes I go, "I need something there. Huh. That looks good." This is where platypuses come from! And I love them! If you don't love a platypus, WTF is wrong with you?

See??

Look, Creationism has no place in our schools. Natural selection is a thing. If I'm drawing on a real experience that involved blue or blue curtains, you may get some blue curtains. That is a real thing that happens all the time. It's not fair to torpedo someone's earning potential because, wherever you're coming from, blue makes you feel sad. You shouldn't be in a position to do that, that is not a job that needs doing.

*sigh* And, I will let you in on a dirty little secret. Sometimes I drop a stitch when I'm working, and I notice it later, and I realize I can hook that thing and make something look really cool and intentional. But it wasn't. It's there because I needed something there and it looked good. Ah, but as I've been writing, I've generated a reason for it to be there, and I now I have an opportunity to grab that sucker. I have picked up some amazing dropped stitches. I'm thinking of one in particular, a long series of dropped stitches, and when I was able to pick them all up in one swoop, I pretty much leapt up and screamed, "THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM! I LIVE IN THE MATRIX! SOMEBODY PUT THIS HERE AND I KNOW IT WASN'T ME!" (I haven't published it yet, it's gonna be a while.) Be that as it may, you live in the Matrix with me, and the Architect might leave something like that for you too. It's not 'cos I'm doing it on purpose.

If everything must have a purpose and you're not allowed to enjoy the work unless you find every last one like it's Wally/Waldo, you may find that you've lost some of the gestalt, and the virtuosity, and the feeling. That's what started happening to me when I went to college to "learn about literature." There was value in that. Comp. Lit. was fantastic! But, they are trying to sort you into an appropriate pay grade (mine is "Institutionalized and/or Housewife") , and they must judge something. The amount of Waldos you've found is quantifiable! And so, the academic need to huck Art into a juicer also has a basis in Capitalism. Man, that shit gets everywhere.

If you love it, like Mrs. Hillburn, go for it. We see you, and we leave things for you to find, like the dev team hides gag gifts in Dracula's castle for the completionists. But if it sucks all the life out of the work and makes it a joyless slog, like it did for me - stop. Please. Or go rip up some other artist's work that's already been sacrificed for the purpose and analyzed to death. It's almost impossible to read The Great Gatsby for its own sake anymore. Even if you're out of school, you're still gonna remember finding the Waldos and tick all the boxes every time. I hope like hell going into the Public Domain can fix that.

I will finish with a tortured metaphor, because that's what I do. That's fun for me. Let's say I'm God. (Because I am. Did I say "simile"? Right. I'm God and your prayers are keeping Me up at night. Cut that out.) I've made this frog*!

I made him because I love making things - and because I love making things, I made a lot of things, and I think I'm pretty good at that. But it's no fun for Me if I don't get to share him with someone who can love him just as much as I do - for whatever reasons of their own. Adam! Look! Look at the frog I made!

Yes, Adam, you can play with him however you like! Isn't it neat how everything about him fits together? See his little toesies? If you rub his tummy, his little legs kick. Ha. Uh, you might be stressing him out a little, there, Adam. But that's okay! I made him for you to LOVE and...

Adam, what are you doing with the scissors?

Ah. Well, yes. Yes. The insides of things are very interesting. Yes, everything about him fits together. Yes, if you hook him up to a battery, his little legs kick. Ah, but he's dead. You do know that you've killed him, right? OK. Well, look, if you really want to understand how frogs work that badly, I don't mind if you cut one up...

Or two...

ADAM, THAT IS NOT WHAT FROGS ARE FOR! I want them to LIVE, I...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, if that's how you want to play with the frogs, I guess...

ADAM. WHY ARE YOU CREATING AN INSTITUTION THAT TEACHES ALL YOUR CHILDREN THAT'S WHAT FROGS ARE FOR?

What? No! Don't... Don't PUNISH them for refusing to cut up the frogs, WTF is WRONG with you? No, no, of course they must engage with the frogs to understand them - I DO want all of you to understand them! Please don't ever think I don't! - but there's a LIMIT to... No, of course I still love you, but you don't have to...

If you do that to every frog you see, there will not be any more frogs, are you hearing me? I WILL STOP MAKING THEM OUT OF SPITE.

*sigh* No. Of course I won't actually stop making frogs, but... Can we at least come to an understanding that sometimes the curtains are blue?

*I know it's a toad. I needed a Public Domain image of a frog cupped lovingly in human hands, and the best image on the first page happened to involve a toad. Paul lives (as of this writing), and the platypus exists because I thought it looked cool. Now put down the onion and go analyze something else.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 11 🕺🏼

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

One time when I was in third grade, I randomly decided to pair up two people in my class. No real reason, I just wanted to see if it worked. So, I wrote a love letter to one of them and signed from the other. I put it on his shelf.

Now, here’s the thing: I accidentally left it on the wrong shelf. I left it on the shelf next to his. The girl who got it, she CLEARLY could read that it was adressed to him. But was she a normal person who realized it was put on the wrong shelf and gave it back? NO. She went to the TEACHER about this.

Now, uh… some extra context. I didn’t just write a love letter. I at first drew a picture of stick figures fighting, so that I would ”make him more interested”. And I guess this girl was shocked over the stick figures fighting.

The teacher recognized my handwriting I guess, and she confronted me about it. I was like ”my name is not even on it??” because, again, I was trying to pair up two people in my class, I pretended the love letter was from someone else. She didn’t believe me and was like ”tell me. Is it that you might have a crush on him? 😉” and I was like … ??? I signed it with someone else’s name, OBVIOUSLY I wanted to pair THEM up.

Also neither part of the two people I wanted to pair up ever found out about this. All because I put the goddamn letter on the wrong shelf and the girl who got it was a tattle tale who ruined everything

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Reminds me of when I was mad at someone and I decided to write a hateful letter that I put on her shelf. But then I was afraid it would come off as targeting, so I wrote letters to OTHERS too, INCLUDING TO MYSELF so that I would seem innocent.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

You two are my idols.

17 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

When I have a kid I wanna raise them nonbinary, until they are old enough to decide a gender of their own, or not, or switch between different ones if that’s what they feel like! 🩷

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

WOW this did not reach the right crowd…

1679 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

Knowing lots of europeans they’ve been trying to get me to vote for their countries in Eurovision (since you can vote anywhere in the world nowadays).

Anyway, they are always like ”vote for Italy!! No, vote for Spain!!”

And like. At this point I tbh rather vote for Sweden.

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Violetta if you DARE to vote for Sweden I will break up with you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

We are not dating?

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

I will break up with you as a friend.

Platonic breakup.

Period.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Smooth.

10 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Stuff me and my childhood friends have performed on stage as kids:

- This unclear skit where we said a spell to turn me into Santa. I lost my last baby tooth during that.

- We sang ”best friend” by Toy Box. Or, ”sang”, we mimicked to it because we couldn’t speak english. We also didn’t know the implications of that song.

- We did an entire play all improvised. Everyone thought we had it scripted. It was the best thing we ever performed

- I wanted to be a magician for a while. She was my assistant. We did some pretty cool magic tricks

- We decided to roller skate on a small stage. It worked, but everyone was afraid we were gonna fall

- The microphone throwing incident™️

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I think of the microphone throwing incident often

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

And you’re not gonna tell us about that incident?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Nope.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

You had to be there.

67 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

I think two of my teachers are secretly fucking

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

If this is about my aunt and Pablo… then well. Yeah.

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

NO THIS IS ABOUT PABLO AND GREGORIO

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

HELP

🏍️ entre-dos-mundos Follow

DO NOT TELL DIEGO ABOUT THIS

#Please say he does not have a Tumblr #LUDMILA IF YOU SEE THIS DON’T YOU DARE SCREENSHOT AND SEND TO HIM

7 notes

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Having your girlfriend also having been your best friend since middle school means she knows ALL about your awkward phases and moments… I cannot hide anything from her.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I was even more cringe, come on.

We’re in this together🩷

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I can imagine you two being even more cringe than what you are now. I’m glad I didn’t go through awkward phases or had embarrassing moments like everyone else in middle school.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Remember when you fell on your roller skates while skating literally 10 meters per hour?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

AND HE TOLD ME HE NEVER EVER FELL AND THAT HE WAS ALWAYS PRO AT ROLLER SKATING.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Matteo is just a clown thinking he knows everything

😎 rapmiro Follow

Hey! I don’t like you speaking to my friend like that! He is very good and he does know a lot!

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Then marry him.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Why do I bother joining your reblogs, it always takes some really weird turn-

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Admit it, Ámbar. You like it. You like seeing us cause a mess. You like it both irl and online. It’s only online that you can admit it.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

See I am this close to blocking all of you and also start a new Tumblr account because What is happening right now. What is the subject? Why are you like this?

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?

18 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

What do you do when you wake up with an… intimate dream about someone and you’ve never had any fantasy about them like that before

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

A hot tip is to not post it on Tumblr where everyone you know is following you, cause we are nosy.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Not true! Everyone I know don’t even have Tumblr!

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Don’t change the subject. We can and we will figure it out. Thanks for telling us!

90 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Sometimes I look at my biological aunt and I am like. Wow. You knew me when I was a baby. Maybe you babysat me at some point.

Because she is just… this cold human who seems to hate everyone else. And to imagine she at some point probably had to watch me during the day while my parents needed to run some errands feels… SO weird.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

She’s also caught me in the most weirdest situations. I am lucky now that she can’t see me.

The other day I had a tampon up my nose while she was in her once per month hour visitation at our house. I walked inside the room she was in and noticed her there. I was stiff for a moment, feeling like I needed to explain myself.

She and I have a very strained relationship, but she tries to better herself. So she was like ”I know those footsteps… is it you, Luna?”

I was like ”Yeah…”

”How are you feeling?”

”Good…”

I was waiting for her to bring up the elephant in the room, and then I realized ”oh wait… she can’t see me…” and then I sighed in relief.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

But why DID you have a tampon up your nose?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I got a nosebleed from accidentally punching myself when I tried to open a very hard cap on a bottle

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Ok, so why…

You know what? Sounds pretty reasonable. I’m also glad your aunt couldn’t see you, even if it’s also a bit tragic she can’t see…

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

Sorry if this question is personal, and if it is you’re totally allowed to not reply. I am just curious: How did she lose her eyesight?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

She burned her eyes trying to burn the house down

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

Oh. Well, I guess that explains why she only has an hour of visitation once a month. Thank you for replying.

24 notes

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I have talked to several people that apparently did some really weird thing when they sat in the car as kids, and even still do it:

When sitting in the passenger seat, they apparently look out the window and... imagine this imaginary creature or imaginary human running next to the car, sliding on the railings, sometimes skateboarding/snowboarding... just doing all this strange parkour.

Why do you do this? It sounds super weird?

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

So when you look out the window on a car trip you just imagine nothing????????

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Yeah? I just see what I see passing by, I don't think about a random imaginary creature doing parkour on stop signs and railings

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

You had a boring childhood, man. Life is so much more fun if you imagine the little things.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

When I was younger I even pretended imaginary people jumping between houses where I walked, or clung onto airplanes! xD

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

But like... why?

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

BECAUSE IT'S FUN.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Yeah, even I did this. Now, I imagine someone roller skating rather than running. I saw them skating on the road first and foremost at a car speed, and jumped at any obstacle. It helped me imagine new tricks I could do.

And yes, it was a lot of fun, too. It was an escapism for some of us who really needed some escapism to cope with our everyday life. A little warmth in the cold.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Well I guess I could get that, but I never had escapism. I just lived the way I lived and stayed in reality at all times.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Sometimes I am hit with the reality that some people are not born with any imagination whatsoever. I pity them.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I have imagination!!! I just didn't imagine fake people doing parkour next to the car.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

But you have to admit your imagination is boring.

79 notes

🧢 everythingscominguponmaxi Follow

I had an interesting dream last night.

Apparently there was this philosophy that there was only one normal person that you knew. If you didn’t know anyone, you were the normal person.

This caused people to question what is normal and what is not.

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

So there’s really only one normal person on earth?

🧢 everythingscominguponmaxi Follow

No, who is considered normal depends on the person, but the philosophy states that everyone only knows one normal person. For me it can be one person, but for you, who knows other people than me, might have another person in mind.

The question is now… who is the normal person in your life?

5000 notes

[sable-roteuth]

(Yipping and yapping)

I am super eepy rn but I don't wanna sleep because I yearn to yap but I don't got anyone to yap to.

Here's some doodles from recently ig

I'll upload better/finished ones later lol

(lots of yapping under the cut)

I got so desperate to yap today that I yapped to my ENGLISH TEACHER about cotl. My friends walked in as I was doing that and I felt super embarrassed LMAO. Those same friends also decided to sit in an empty classroom today and put on those weird videos of people dying and laughed at them so I just left the room. Another friend decided to start having a very loud conversation with themself as well during class and I wanted to EXPLODE it was so embarrassing.

I'm thinking of taking some time for myself this weekend, even though I've already been isolating this whole week lol. Might make some food and play Splatoon or watch a show, just anything to keep me from feeling bad about everything and yapping my head off again (I'm so sorry if you actually read this whole thing). I was writing in my notes app earlier but I feel like I gotta get this out somewhere so idk. Obviously the aforementioned friends aren't the best to talk to, and my other friends are.... all in a call without me.

Although I've been feeling less bad about stuff like that lately, cuz honestly a lot of the time when I do join in on a call I end up not enjoying myself for... several reasons (Mostly feeling unwelcomed in one way or another, but I'm not gonna get into that here lol).

My birthday is next week and I'm dreading it more than I've ever dreaded any birthday before. My mom wants me to get a job the day of and I couldn't be less enthusiastic. I barely have enough free time as is.

I'm also realizing that I'm mad hungry rn cuz my school keeps serving the most dogshit food so I keep not eating lunch this week. I had like one tiny ass piece of chicken for dinner too. I should really log off rn cuz I keep not getting a lot of sleep, so GN everyone.

Thank you for listening to my yapping session.

[nukenai]

Well it’s 1am but I absolutely have to finally write one of these posts, don’t read if you don’t wanna be teleported to a sad 1am post of mine from 5 years ago or be consumed by gigacringe (this post is not sad but cw for some as-expected negative mental health stuff/actions I’ll be mentioning, from my past.)

I really don’t think I can even begin to articulate how important Super Mario RPG is to me. When I was a kid - like I’m talking 2006-ish - my Thing(tm) was Earthbound. We didn’t say “fandom” back then. Besides Pokemon and Zelda, it became my THING and I fell so in love with it. A weird part of internet Earthbound culture back then was that you were mad at Super Mario RPG for making Earthbound sell poorly. I know, it’s insane, I was 15 cut me a fucking break.

So yeah that was all intrinsically linked with Smash, obviously. I was online during the pre-release of Brawl days, browsing places like /v/, and there was all this talk of this guy Geno. I didn’t know who Geno was! One time I did a Deviantart Journal “quiz” thing, and one question was, “Who is a video game character you hate?” My response was “I dunno, that Geno guy”. A friend of mine at the time was like “??? Like SMRPG Geno? How could you hate him?” and me being a teenager, I was like well, I’m annoyed that everyone talks about him.

Stuff got weird pretty quickly. An artist I had a goofy little crush on drew Geno. And I went, huh. Okay.

Then Brawl came out. I won’t even get into all of that because this is about SMRPG, but people ripped data off the disks and found unused stuff. Like unused music. I was mad about the unused Earthbound music, and the Ballad of the Wind Fish. Boo!

But then someone made a fun little album, called “Brawl - The Lost Tracks”. They got together “as official as possible” versions of the songs that had gone unused and only existed as text files on the disk. This included Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms (I’ve made angry posts before about how wrong the Cutting Room Floor page is about this track NOT being BTFM - ask me about it sometime and I’ll start screaming)

So one day I downloaded this little album. And I remember exactly where I was sitting, I listened to a couple of the EB songs like yeah, alright. Then there was a nice remix of the ballad of the wind fish. Then I saw beware the forest’s mushrooms and I thought, well. Why not. It’s a song. I like music.

It was the official arrange from the arrangement album. Until Memoria it was 100% the most beautiful rendition of the song to ever exist. And I lost my goddamn mind. I had never heard a song so gorgeous and I was instantly so upset with myself for being such a stubborn dork about SMRPG for so long (imagine that, me, stubborn!!)

So it all kinda hit me like a truck. I remember the day I first saved a piece of Geno fanart, like a day after I heard the song, and I was GOT. I thought oh, maybe he’s kinda cute, and it all just spiraled into hell. When I was a kid I was all into people drawing him as a Cool Anime Bishounen, but now I’m extremely cool and am like “Doll only, please!” unless it’s the goofy cute human design I have for him. But really I prefer doll. ANYWAYS.

During my high school years my life was... uh, rough. I was dealing with domestic violence in my home and we were more than once kicked out of our house and had to scramble to find a place to stay temporarily. While I was still just going to classes. I wound up failing my 11th grade English class because I often didn’t have access to a computer with internet or a printer and couldn’t do my assignments. My teacher didn’t ask why I was suddenly not finishing assignments, she just failed me. I went to summer school and it wound up being one of the best experiences of my life though. So, you know.

Throughout all this bullshit I like, had Geno. I had a reason to look up at the starry sky and make wishes and track meteor showers. It was something to like, keep my going again. Unsurprisingly I was DEEPLY struggling with my mental health. I was self-harming, and was just in general doing Very Fucking Not Great and felt like I had nowhere to turn. To this day my family like, doesn’t let me talk about this situation, and I received no help or support from any of them during this. Things are better now, but holy fuck, man. It was just my mom and I dealing with domestic violence and homelessness and no one was helping us.

But I had him. I had the “will he be in Smash someday?” shit. I had the Smash speculation community. I had SMRPG fans who were all like-minded cool people who loved how much I loved Geno, because they loved him too! He was like a fucking life raft for me in one of the worst periods of my whole existence and always felt like an anchor when things were spiraling out of control.

And it feels so corny to talk about it, because oh Nuke, you’re always dramatic about characters. But damn, did it fucking hurt when “friends” were just straight up fucking mean to me about Smash stuff for years on end. Damn did it hurt when I tried to express how important this shit was to me, and it was written off as me being ridiculous about a Video Game, you know? Would therapy have been good? Maybe. I tried it as an adult after being pressured into it by my ex and it was an actual nightmare because the only therapist in my area with hours compatible with my job who took my insurance was like 24 years old and told me straight to my face she didn’t want to talk about things I liked because she didn’t understand them. So maybe not! But I had this something, something so important to me, and it felt like everyone around me was so fucking Tired of me caring so much about something. It felt like everyone was tired of ME. And I was tiring of myself too, and it fucking sucked! It really did.

A couple years ago I finally let go of all the rage and sorrow in my heart and I’ve been doing so, so well. I found myself so suddenly surrounded by people who fucking care about me, and who are like “Oh, I don’t know that character, tell me about them! You love them so much!”, and people who invite me over to their house to just sit and watch Transformers or build model kits. People tell me to my face “I don’t think you’re annoying” when I compare myself to Rodimus, and I get actively invited to things. Wow! It’s been so fucking NICE. It sucks to have such nightmares in my past to compare this all to, but man, the difference is insane.

So it’s like. I wanted this to happen years ago. I wanted them to announce a SMRPG remake, or something, a few years ago when I was at my worst, when people were treating me like shit, when friends of my SO were being huge assholes to me only for my SO to say “hmm I think you’re making that up because you’re dramatic”.

But it didn’t. And I got through everything with my own strength. And now I’m at my absolute best, and I get this now. I get it once I’ve moved past all those miserable negative people who treated me like garbage. I don’t have to rub it in their faces and be like “Look, I got this far, I’ve made it and I won over all the SHIT”. Because none of them are here anymore and they don’t matter to me.

I got so many messages across all my social medias, even from people who I haven’t actually spoken to in some time (but still exist in internet circles with, you know how online friendships are), so many people saying oh my god, Nuke, I’m so happy for you, holy shit congratulations, this is amazing I can’t believe it.

I love you all so fucking much, I love Super Mario RPG so fucking much, all of you and this game are so important to me I don’t even know if 4k more words of rambling nonsense can express it. I am at such a good place in my life now, I want to spread that positivity and do my best to be good to people and to the world that has been so good to me these past few years. Despite how this year started, it hasn’t felt like a negative shroud over me. Just another challenge to overcome, and I’ve overcome literally everything put in front of me so far. Nothing is phasing me anymore and I’m doing so GREAT.

I’m so happy the remake is happening at a time when I’m at my best. I didn’t need anyone to save me before, and now this will just lift me higher. And I can truly enjoy it, as a joyful gift, as opposed to hoping it will be a life raft getting me out of a flood. I can truly enjoy it for what it is and what it’s meant to be.

A beautiful, delightful, very funny little video game, about Mario and all his weird little friends.

I don’t think I’ll even mind having to say goodbye to Geno at the end, again. Because I know now, there’s nothing stopping him from coming back.

And hey, SMRPG’s not a very long game. I can always replay it. And Geno will always be there.

Always.

[soil-just-needs-water-to-be]

Chapter three

Word count :1941

I think we all hate/hated school as much as matty in this fanfiction , I swear if I had the courage to walk out and act up I’d be exactly like this 🙄😂

I trudge through the halls pulling my rucksack straps around me before sliding into my English class all ther way to my seat in the back next to my friend Jamie I place my rucksack on the table infront of me and pull my phone out of my pocket again and put my earphones in to listen to music after picking a playlist I go back to Pub-G and open my messages sending George a quick message with my number and Snapchat attached explaining that it's easier to talk there I then rest my head on the table as I wait for the teacher to come , sleep once again overcoming me slowly

Again just before I have time to fully succumb to sleep my phone vibrates on the table I pick it up to see a Snapchat alert from the same user as Pub-G , I smile as I open it and swiftly accept it and quickly send him a quick snap of my hair with a simple "fancy seeing you here ". A reply doesn't come straight away so I gather he is in class now and actually working .

Just at that my teacher decided to make an arrival. I roll my eyes immediately as he starts talking and slowly sink into my chair avoiding his gaze at all costs because I just know he will be all over me for answers because I'm so far getting an A* for this class but I really don't want to be talking to anyone right now. The buzz of the classroom keeps me awake only slightly as everyone conversates over something or other and I have my phone glued to my hand again in wait of George's snap , which doesn't take to much longer to come through. I receive a snap from him , it's full face and damn is that a good looking man , not that I'm gay but I can very much appreciate a good looking chap , his eyes do how ever seem to be just as blown as mine and red rimmed , his face is broken out in a wild smile and his hair is trapped under his hood , with a simple caption of "Yooo dude "

I smile to myself at the obvious stoner I have befriended , I then take another picture but this time making sure I get my whole face in , leaning on my hand as I take it "Bro you look wrecked...are you okay?honestly ?"

His reply comes through momentarily another of his face but looks like he's rolling his eyes dramatically "nah man ...shit sucks right now but I'll be fine "

I look around to make sure no one is looking at me as I can't really hear anything then quickly snap another pick of me making a stupid face hopefully cheering him up a little "you sure don't wanna talk about it ay?". Helping someone through there struggles might help me forget for a little while why I'm so tense and stressed.

The replies are getting faster so it get another almost instantaneously his face still in the shot still looking done with life...I can relate "just girls man...broke up with my girl the other day ...well she broke up with me ". I feel bad for the dude , break ups are tough especially at his age , I know I'm not that much older than him but geez I was even more on edge then than I am now and that's saying something so if he's anything like me he's got to be struggling like mad right now

I send another snap of a stupid face back but this time with a video and I flip my teacher off from behind my screen , again hoping to maybe cheer him up "that's tough man ...any reason why ?".

I don't get a picture snap this time just a message "she thinks I don't care about anything ...I'm too laid back ...don't care about my future ...I don't have any "real" ambition and she also hated that I got so into weed " I scoff as I read the message as Ive heard that too much in my life from girls. They're pretty but they suuuuuck.

I must have scoffed louder than I thought I had , after being pulled out of my own little world by Mr Lezdon

"Mr Healy , is there something you'd like to share ....also please remove your bag from the table it should be long gone by now "

"No sir sorry I just hiccuped ...I'm so sorry " I move my rucksack into my lap so I can slouch  on it with my arms wrapped softly around it. I try to pay attention but my hands were itching to take my phone back out so I opt for drumming hands on my lap and resting my head back onto my desk while listening to Mr lezdon talk about symbolism and juxtapositions between two poems that we had been reading. Man I should have slept last night I'm really struggling right now. I have an apiffany and raise my hand and ask to go to the bathroom. I'm allowed out this one time I take my phone out and reply back to George "I'm so sorry that must really suck girls really take a lot out of a guy ". I take this as an opportunity to sneak out for another zoot , If I'm going to stay here all day I really need this. It's not going to help with my tiredness really but anything to ease the dull throbbing vibrating through me, to still the buzzing in my brain. It's go to be quick though. My phone vibrates in my pocket once again I see another text reply from George "yeh I'm just done right now I know it's lame cuz she's just a girl but we were going strong and I guess I'm young but I thought we had a good thing ...but what can you do ,"

I smile again as I manage to get outside without being spotted and take another  zoot and the lighter out of my trousers pocket. It's slightly flat due to the pressure between my thighs and trousers but it will do. After taking a video of me with the zoot lit and between my lips captioned by "just have a zoot bro  " I get a quick reply of laughing emojis straight back with a "smoking is bad for you Matthew " not so long after

I take about five minute to myself to finish my joint and just bask in the quiet and the fresh air before I go back inside. It's so hard to find time for myself at the moment there sooo much to be getting on with. The joint calmed me down quite a bit more than the last one had so after making my way back to class I get back to my seat after a few glares from people who I know 100% knew what I was doing. I reply to George quickly with a cheeky emoji and said "I know but I'm bad for me " meant to be as a joke but maybe not sounding so. For the rest of the class I just lay with my head resting on my arm on the desk as the world moves on by around me .

The rest of the morning up until break time flies by not paying attention in most classes and sitting with Jamie half asleep brings him to speak to me at break time

"Hey mate are you okay ? " I pressed a supportive hand on the small of my back as we make our way through the crowd of teenagers as we go outside to meet Ross

"M' fine " I keep my head down as I'm in the mist of a banging headache and I just want out of the noise for a bit "honestly just tired ay "

"I know Ross has probably said and your mum ...but your not giving yourself time to be at peace right now Matty....you do so much in a day ...have barley anything to eat ...and your not sleeping right ...can you promise you'll tell us if anything gets to much " . He pauses us in the hallway and lifts my head up with my chin so I'm looking directly into my eyes . I nod nonchalantly "I'm fine Jay honestly...everyone needs to stop worrying "

"Promise me ?"

"Alright ...fine I promise " I roll my eyes at him this time and continue walking . I love my mates so much but my god to they worry too much.

"Good " . We reach the back gate as I pull out a cigarette out of my also crushed packet and light it quickly relishing in the rush of nicotine floating through my body i slouch against the back wall and close my eyes and let the cigarette consume me while Jamie is talking away when Ross comes over. I  cant decipher every part of the conversation but it takes me a minute to realise they're talking to me. Ross nudges me slightly shaking me off balance "Matty mate ??"

"Huh ... I wasn't paying attention...what did you say ?" I look at them properly now giving them my full attention while taking another long drag

"Jay and I were wandering if you'd like to come back to his after school, some drinks , just to relax for a bit " . They look at me with hopeful grins "you've been on edge for weeks now you need it ?"

It's true I have been quite skittish and on edge for a while now. "I'm sorry guys , I've got work tonight then I've got to look after Loiue for a little while, you can see me at work though and help me look after Lou if you'd like ?"

"I can come see you at work" Jay isn't much round at mine so that makes sense

"Yeh I ain't seen the little dude in a while so I could come over bring some drinks and we can just chill while we look after him ? , Would you mum mind ? . Ross loves my house he was there most days before work and GCSEs got the better of us

"No I'm sure she won't mind so long as lou is in bed by 8 and we don't make to much noise " I smile and get slightly more excited at the prospects of seeing my best friend after school like we used too "thank you Ross "

"You don't have to thank me mate... we're just really worried about you and your mental health right now...and we want you to be okay " . Our conversation is interrupted by the noise of the bell ringing through everywhere alerting us it's time to go back in

"Guys seriously I'm fine stop worrying " I nod to them both before making my way back inside. I've got maths next. Let's so how this goes down it never goes well. I take out my phone again putting my headphones back in and realising I have at least 2 messages from my mum reminding me about looking after Lou later and asking if I've eaten . Shit I forgot , I message back a little white lie saying that I had as to not upset her. Then I see George has sent a snap

It's just his face again looking a little more awake this time "what do you mean by not being good for yourself "

Snapping back with what I mean expressing that im usually my own worst enemy and that it's not always the best thing for me to be me or in my head . Im sure he'd understand

[lasttree-garsennon]

I posted 3,979 times in 2022

That's 3,630 more posts than 2021!

144 posts created (4%)

3,835 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@parsnipt

@injuries-in-dust

@nitewrighter

@mujhe-rone-do

@a-really-hot-caterpillar

I tagged 405 of my posts in 2022

#oldie answers - 64 posts

#me - 22 posts

#me and who? - 11 posts

#struggles of oldie - 9 posts

#protect psy - 7 posts

#same - 6 posts

#purple my beloved - 6 posts

#protect sana - 4 posts

#the machine uprising - 4 posts

#good - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 123 characters

#uh no you can't you can get one for a bike that doesn't have gears but not for a car unless they recently changed the rules

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Orange

I want to get to know you too

26 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#4

@mujhe-rone-do what THE FUCK are you doing up

29 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

#3

okay so like

first tehre was a lot of confusion abt which subjects we had

then somehow out of three two subjects students already got fixed and locked

so when the third subject teacher asked who wanted to do this one day before the festive vacation i raised my hand

and she picked everyone except for me and one other girl

she picked the girl sitting DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME and not me

nd im very good at SST btw i love social science and i get good grades in that out of 20 i got 19.5 last time so im validated too

and

i was like what no i am gonna do this

so i approached her and said "hi helo i wanna do this" and shes like "we have like 7 ppl already..." but i insisted so shes like "okay ill keep you as an extra" and drew a line under my name and put my name along with the other girl whom she had not picked lets call her s

so

then

she forgot (??) to put me in the gc in which they were discussing it

but she put s

lmao

and it was the vacaction and i dont have my own phone nor the teachers contact info

so i just. didnt know till after the holidays upon which i appraoched her and asked why i wasnt there and shes like oH oOPs or whatever and tells me i can help out if they need anything

so i went there but the kids just basically made me gvethem my statinary and then treated it like trash

and then disrespected me (whole diff incident) upon which i got mad and called a kid who had been dismissing me very much a problem and then i felt bad cuz i usually dont do shit like that like i just

dont say mean stuff back

but i did

anyway so

none of the kids, all of whom were in my class, reminded her i was supposed to be there too

idk if they forgot or what but s was literally next to me she knew she approached the teacher at the same time as me

so like. wow. after all my effort, after almost dying with the sleep deprivation and work load im just. forgettable. lmao

Do no harm but take no shit it's good you said some mean stuff to them and your teachers an idiot

Also you're not forgettable not to me

31 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

#2

ahhghgdhgaha i very tired today but i lots of tasks to finish

ill just tell you what i have to do and then update you with how many i finished if thats okay; if it's not just ignore this ask

finish textbook russian revolution

friend 1's early christmas present readied

friend 2's ''

finish cover 1 of TMOD

finish chem homework

english entrepreneur assignment

of this i have done eactly one aka chem homework i got other tasks done which i didnt write down tho

It's okay if you only manage to finish Chen homework today I'm proud of you

63 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

HELO HELO how does one flirt with a cis boy

in theory i know how and usually i can but i have exactly 1.5 weeks to make this work and i need it to go well and hes a hyperactive adhd as FUCK bitch like me so we bOTH KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED AND LOW KEY AWKWAR CUZ WE DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

HELP PLEASE HSKHDKS

Sorry kid you came to the wrong place

I know exactly nothing about flirting

Let alone het flirting

129 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ursogoldenn]

october 3, 2024 dear diary...

i liked today!! i woke up a little later so my brother got all mad at me for using the bathroom to straighten my hair because he needed to shower but thats on HIM because he always showers at 7:15 and if hes late then i just start my hair because it takes at least 30 minutes. but yeah the morning was fine, then i went to history and OMG OK so the teacher rearranged the tables into groups and said sit wherever and make your own groups. so i only really have one friend in that class so we sat together at one table and NO ONE JOINED US??? SO WE DID IT WITH JUST THE TWO OF US INSTEAD OF 5-6?? it honestly made it easier and everyone in that class is lowkey rude but STILL. anywayyy then we decided that we wanted to go to france because we're learning about french history right now and i just really wanna go there 😫😫 also marie antionette's last words were apologizing to her executioner for stepping on his foot and that makes me rlly sad... OK ANYWAY then i went to leadership which was fun, nothing eventful. then i had spanish and i was so scared because that class we use our computers all period and mine was so low and i was scared it was gonna die and i was gonna get in trouble but I SURVIVED :) and thennnn i went home and did a little homework but im planning to do most of it tomorrow. because we dont have school tomorrow and i am going to be SO productive i just know it. i have to be for my own sake... but still. and yeah! today was fun, ive been listening to the playlist that may made of masie peters songs and i fear im in love with her and her music... in love with her in a girlkisser way ykwim. ahh idk its so fun to finally be (semi) comfortable calling myself bi because omg girls are so pretty??? also i think im slowly developing my type in girls. because i have a very obvious type in guys but idk abt girls yet. but like masie peters has the same vibes as my crush so if that makes sense...? also glasses on anyone of any gender is 😍 anywayyy yeah i didnt write one for yesterday but in my defense i was speedrunning an english assignment due at midnight then went to sleep.

looking forward to: forcing myself to be productive tomorrow proud of myself for: finishing the spanish assignment in class song stuck in my head: youre just a boy (and im kinda the man) by masie peters

[ridmymind]

Hey there

Deleted my ig platform for good

I accidentally viewed my ecs gf and I was crushed by the cringeness

I do no want to partake in such foolish behavior like DO REMEBER TO SHINE✨

Not my cup of tea

One time he said he didn’t like girls if they have an unnatural hair color. LIES✨✨✨

Also she is nothing special and that’s the most shocking thing

Thinkin if she knows bout his cousin and all the cult things. Thinking if anything was true at all.

I was suspecting she was in the CIA or something. No way, she s just a girl with a giant nose -he said he like ugly nose on girl I dunno its a thing-

I guess another person would have contact her to send screens and whatever BUT IM NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS IM PROTECTING MY PEACE. Jk i don’t want to. Its a matter of time she s going to discover how shallow he is. And if that s not going to happen, well. Good luck, babe. I was wrong the first time I talked to him and he said was on ketogenic diet, I guess. I studied medicine. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on you. They studied like political science. Pls. I was so embarrassed for him I swear. Shame on you and that’s the end. Shes like his therapist, nutritionist and all the other figures he had to follow in order to being good with himself, having a person that tell him what to do. I am legit furious cause he knows everything bout my situation and he did not tell me the truth. And he was acting like he was mr right all the time. I even edited part of his thesis. Of course i’m mad. Now i can tell a garbage narcissist way sooner. Maybe i have to activate my account only to haunt him. But at what cost?

I have lost my voice.

My spirit is broken.

Life on social media is fake af.

Nevertheless, I’ll post. Not to mock anyone. Just to take space.

I need to take space

He didn’t know me at all. I am a poet and a person in stem. A painter and a doctor. An artist and a mad scientist. A kind person that want to make others happy and well. And i have a strong moral compass. I’m a reader and a writer. I play piano, guitar and uke. I can do my own hair. I have good taste in fashion choice. I listen to english podcast at 2x. I loved alternative stuff all my life. And I was the best in everything I ve done so far. If I was the man, I’ll be THE man.

He Was just a boy who play pretend to be an adult

Was just a boy that’s smell like my grandpa used to. And that’s telling about me.

I thought she was a ballerina. An actress. A beautiful girl. Or an accomplished ones. I thought she hasn’t social media. That she was cooler than me. Poor thing.

If I ll get past these health problems the next page I wanna do is an uku learn with me

Im speechless. Logically speaking they have nothing to do with me. I m educated, have studied a lot, has so many interests. We haven’t the same culture at all. The same moral values. He s just a follower. She will have his babies. And he ll continue to do what is in his nature. BEING A BAD BAD BAD HUMAN BEING. But i m very emotional disregulated so I can’t do a logic argument. I just want to talk sit about them with my bff. Like any other girl.

A fellow student I can’t. I thought she was a neurologist. That was helping his sister. I thought she was his teacher. I have over estimated this guy so much. It costed me years of my life. Maybe she s p3ggin him rn. I don’t think so but.

However i m slowly transitioning in the man I d like to date. Maybe i like myself too much, and we shared similar facial features. I know what she is at least.

And thats me, rockin my hair cut and i’m cute as hell🥲

[josiebelladonna]

happy birthday, green druidess.

i hope today is good, because... oh, boy, is it a good day for me.

in fact, this is the first january in years that’s been genuinely kind to me! been making tons of art and planning stuff for my fics, planning on moving house sometime this year...

i’m writing all of this as thunder and lightning is rolling through my area. if you don’t mind, i’m going to turn into nikolai tesla here for a second. or robert oppenheimer. electricity is everywhere, and if you’re not careful, it can burn you and vaporize you, sweetheart.

now hold onto me, pretty baby, if you wanna fly. i’m gonna melt the fever, sugar, rolling back your eyes.

*lights up a bong*

are y’all with me now?

her: “hey, how come you never have anything nice to say about me?”

she asks, completely oblivious to the fact that i was never a serious critic, but someone with a sense of humor and i had every right to stand up for myself.

want me to say something nice about her?

she knows how to appeal to people.

there. happy? am i even being serious right now?

who knows, and who cares. besides, her and her army of nimrods have something new to bicker about when using my name in junction again.

*alex skolnick, eric peterson, joey belladonna, and rob cavestany have entered the chat*

*receives, but whatever. and...

pfffff, what?

“Or maybe it was the ice cream man.”

i shouldn’t have laughed as hard as i did at that, but i did, anyway. god.

man, and i thought i had awkward syntax. there’s a lot. trust me: from how state of euphoria sits in my mind, she’s known for her awkward sentences, among other things. such that even the teachers of the most entry-level, special ed. english classes would hit the roof.

...edgy strawberry shortcake? but, you know, if it exists, there’s an edgy version of it. it’s like an offshoot of rule 34 (if it exists, there’s porn of it). by the way, “seafoam”. back up, i thought you weren’t an artist.

u mad, bro? also, paranoia is not a good look for you, liz. trust me.

ahahahahahahahahaha *fart*

oh, yeah, that’s... that’s real important. thx for that really important info. you know, there’s building tension and then there’s farting around like this, and you, my dear, fart more than i do (and i have digestive issues so that’s saying something)

in all seriousness, though, she has gotten bad with the filler lately, like... how many times can you show me this. how many more times can you show me this.

“i rubbed my chiny-chin-chin and said, ‘my, my, my, what sort of this thing might this lady get high upon?’ i checked out her sister who was holding the bed, and i wondered what sort of thing the young lady was on.”

“snap yo’ fingers, snap yo’ neck!”

i haven’t heard about strippers wearing thongs in like... what, 15+ years? britney spears and paris hilton even stopped wearing them even in the era of low-rise jeans, they’re so uncomfortable and so gross, too, like there’s nothing sexy about having a string between your ass cheeks and your coochie.

“slid off the bed” made me think of homer simpson sliding off the bed and sneaking out in the middle of the night with bart to scour the barrels of booze in the prohibition episode (there’s a bit in the second part of this fic where vince acts like bart reading notes from his palm 😂)

firm tits? if she’s got firm tits, she’s probably got cancer, bro. or she has pcos, just gave birth, or she’s the three-breasted martian from total recall, like it’s not natural to have rock-hard boobs and a soft body, especially in that situation.

“so i pulled on her hair, got her legs in the air, and asked if she had any cooties in there. ‘what do you mean, cooties? no cooties on me!’ she was buns up, kneeling. i was wheelin’ and dealin’, she surrendered to the feelin’, and she started with the squealin’. dyna-moe watched from the edge of the bed, with her upper lip twitching and her face gone red, some drool rolling down from the edge of her chin, while she spied the condition her sister was in.”

...this is the woman who made fun of me in 2020 for writing the word “butt” in an otherwise erotic fic. the same one.

good god.

did you have a stroke and lose your sense of hearing, nick? she’s obviously in pain. knock that shit off.

“melted water and her juices”

man alive, that conjures an image.

also, why am i under the impression that she sat down with eclipse open in another tab whilst writing, specifically to angel’s trumpet and summer in the city, and wrote this alongside those chapters, like this whole time i’m just thinking of vampire!alex and his icy cold body... but minus his sensuality and sweetness, and made a lot more disgusting. and it’s kinda creepy, too, like at least i try to make people look like they’re having a good time in my erotica. i also didn’t screenshot it, but there’s a line in here where nick says “i’d like to lick something” and i was almost immediately reminded of magic stick.

after everything, she is still ripping me off, and badly this time around no less: the first time was actually kind of innocuous in comparison to this, like this is borderline psychopathic behavior.

and it’s so ironic, too. everything i do is all supposed to be fun. you gently rib at someone because you like them. has she or anyone who supports her never heard of “dramatic readings” or “drunk readings”? or watched a bad movie and made wise cracks all the way through? if my mental breakdown after all this went down in summer 2020 wasn’t enough proof for you, i don’t know what to tell you.

really, i can forgive spelling errors and awkward sentences and unintentional hilarity, i really can (there’s a trope for that, too, it’s called “so bad, it’s good”), but if you still insist on doing the nefarious behavior i initially called you out on?

she’s insane. she is completely and totally out of her goddamn mind.

and she looks at me and tells me to get over it? that’s justifying your own horrible behavior in hopes to make me submit. there’s a word for that, too. you may have heard of it, you may have seen her use it, too. it’s called “bullying”. look at it this way: if someone hits you and you’re crying, and they tell you to get over it, it’s abuse. bonus points if they’re like “i didn’t do it!” (given bullying is a form of abuse).

when i posted the apple shed back on the 9th, it had pure intentions. sure, when i posted dead man walking, it had the intent of standing up for myself. but that was it, though: i was standing up for myself while writing something that i had wanted to write for a long time, so two birds with one stone there. when she starts something in response to fics like those, it’s solely to cover her ass, never to contribute to fandom. i promise i’m not trying to be like one of the cool kids, either. so, i don’t know what her logic is because i’m not trying to prove anything. i stopped caring about popularity a long time ago. i grew up in nevada and california: we don’t give a shit if we’re popular or not. it’s nice when it happens, but we don’t expect it.

coming from her, she may as well be telling us we’re all fools. really, this is erotic? this is unpleasant, even for her (and i’ve avoided her like the ‘rona). a little pain goes a long way, but this left me genuinely uncomfortable. in fact, this happens a lot in her so-called erotic writings. and like, you can’t cover it up with “don’t like, don’t read”, either, because it’s all at the expense of growing and changing.

it’s like she tries way too hard to be sexy and winds up writing some of the most “cannot... unsee” things i’ve ever read. i feel like i’ve actually grown as a writer since i joined ao3. i can tell right away that she hasn’t, not one bit (and she’s been on there longer than i have, too).

in fact, she’s actually the reason why i’m so picky about reading things that are erotic: i don’t ever mean to shame anyone for what turns them on, that’s never my intention. i’ve been shamed for my sexual feelings pretty much my entire life, so you couldn’t pay me enough money to shame someone for their preferences and their kinks, but way too often, i’ll read something that’s kinda hot, kinda sensual, and then something will happen that’s off-putting and it’s immediately gross, or it’s unintentionally funny. i don’t blame you for it one bit, though: writing is hard, and erotic writing is even harder (no pun intended). you want proof? it took me almost four years to overcome my hang-ups on my own kinks and be comfortable enough to write about them, and yet, i still have a long way to go. i still feel guilt and shame with what gets me going, and though my art is about what i like and who i like, i still am reluctant to talk about my crushes and my sexuality. it’s a continuous process.

what i don’t understand is... what the hell makes her so special? her writing is not sexy. at all. and i’ve given myself shit for being unsexy multiple times in the past. but i don’t think i’ve ever written anything that’s uncomfortable, disturbing, and stomach-churning at worst, and unintentionally funny at best like with her. (and that’s not even touching the plagiarism aspect, either).

there’s someone who comes to mind now that i write this out and really put the pieces together. so many of you are too young to remember tila tequila: i was 12 when she was the queen of myspace and i barely had a finger in the world of music then. if i was too young to remember tila, i know you all are. but i recommend you read about her. i can’t really explain it, but i keep seeing this weirdly similar arc between these two women: overly sexual to the point it’s obnoxious and squicky, loud and boisterous, big ego, went nuts after a traumatic event (in tila’s case, it was losing her girlfriend and then od’ing on pills during an aneurysm; in the green druidess’ case, it was losing her grandmother and then the rendezvous with me in quarantine). if she starts whipping out the prejudices and really problematic behavior, don’t say i didn’t try to warn you.

“you hurt my feelings” i thought people got sick of this trope like... six years ago. sick of the trope. six years ago. nikki sixx. seems kinda weird…

it’s like watching two people have sex with rubber gloves and soapy water.

okay, i want y’all to take a shot every time she writes the word “butt” from now on. i actually came up with a few drinking games with her. for example, take a shot every time someone “hums” during an intercourse scene. take a shot every time she uses a flowery synonym for red hair. take a shot every time there’s a sex scene and you’re more grossed out than turned on.

again, this is the “hot, erotic romance” that readers of bandfic want in 2022/2023? this is torture. like... dude. have you tried just talking to her? why do you insist on spinning in circles every which way: this shit is hard to watch.

this is the scene from tiny bubbles:

Alex didn’t hesitate to take off his jeans right there in the front part of the apartment: he swiped the cordless phone from the kitchen in the instance of someone calling him in the meantime, and he ambled across the carpet to the hallway. He stepped into that large, spacious bathroom and already began to feel completely at ease. The white tile that made up the floor felt like cold stones on the very bottoms of his feet; the white and gray marble on the countertop next to him shimmered and twinkled under the soft light that filtered through the window over the bathtub before him. He peeled off his shirt and lay it on the counter next to him and the edge of the sink. He stood right next to the toilet for a second with his eye on the big silvery shower head on the wall over his head.

A shower wouldn’t suffice. Too quick, especially for his tense muscles in his back and in his legs. He glanced down at the big bathtub before him, the big pearly white tub that provided enough for him to lay down flat on his back.

That would do the trick. He took the bath mat off of the rim of the tub and lay it on the tiles right next to the tub, and then he reached over to the dials on the wall and switched on the water. A bit too cold at first and then he turned the hot dial a bit. He then reached behind him to the cabinets under the sink for the bottle of bubble bath: what was a boy who wanted to relax without soft-smelling tiny bubbles. Down on one knee, he unscrewed the lid from the top and poured in a slender little trickle of that deep blue liquid in: he watched it bleed through the water for a moment, and then he reached down and stirred the water with a shake of his hand so the bubbles would flurry up and collect throughout the water. He put the bubble bath back into the cabinet and he watched the bubbles form and pile upon themselves.

Every so often, he reached down for a stir of the water with his hands so those little stacks of tiny bubbles collected and formed upon themselves even more.

Once the water reached a certain level on the bathtub, he switched off the water, and then he peeled his underwear off and he let it fall onto the bath mat, around his feet. He ran his hand down his stomach before he stuck one foot into the water: nice and warm, almost perfect. It was a bit colder than he usually liked, but the tub had enough water in it already; he set the other foot into the water next, and then he took his seat on the floor of the tub. He leaned back against the wall opposite to the faucet and stretched out his long, lanky legs to where his feet reached the faucet. Though he remained close to the wall on the left, there was plenty of room in that tub for two people.

it’s directly from tiny bubbles. she still has not gotten tired of this. as i said, it’s like she had eclipse open in one tab and used it as a base. it’s like when you’re taking notes from a textbook and you paraphrase as “best” as you can... “best” in that it’s actually not coming from you.

god, where’s miss rocco, my english teacher in junior year of high school. that woman had eyes like a hawk: she knew if you plagiarized or read cliff notes from a mile away. she was tough but she wanted us to do well, and that was my original intent with the green druidess. but since she’s way too egotistical, stubborn, and dumb to figure it out (as bullies usually are), i had to leave the “love” part out of “tough love”.

by the way, “non-erogenous zone”? what are you, my therapist?

*projectile vomits*

“oh. my. GAWD. chand-lah bing! chand-lah bing-a-ling!” (this part actually deserves two jokes)

“are you eating a t-bone? why don’t we call you.. t-bone?” “can i be g-bone?” “there is no ‘g-bone’, george.” “T-BONE! T-BONE! T-BONE! T-BONE!” 

*later*

“you’re like that monkey that can do sign language.” “cocoa?” “yeah! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA! COCOA!”

she also ripped off covalent bonds, i see. not surprised at all, either: it had “easy target” written all over it.

“when you walk in the bar, and you feel like a star, rockin’ your fuck-me pumps.  and a man notice you with your gucci bag (crue), can’t tell who he's lookin' to, ‘cause you all look the same, everyone knows your name, and that's your whole claim to fame. never miss a night 'cause your dream in life is to be a footballer's wife. you don't like players, that's what you say- but you really wouldn't mind a millionaire. you don't like ballers, they don't do nothing for ya, but you'd love a rich man six-foot-two or taller.”

vanessa: “we also received your other gift.” austin powers: “yes, basel! nice rack!”

“you’re being a peñis... colada, that is.” -liz phair

i swear, i used “i want you”... by bob dylan, in either fever or now it’s dark. may have been fever, i remember seeing it in the notes when i was putting volume one on wattpad last week.

speaking of notes, here’s another drinking game: take a shot every time you read her author’s note and they’re like this. when i write author’s notes, i try to be fun and friendly because we’re all fans here, but istg, the last couple of times i poked my head into her fics out of morbid curiosity, i saw her author’s notes and they were... i want to say “businesslike”. most recently, she hasn’t put any. it’s like when you have that one mutual on here: you were friends at one point, and something happens, and they end up moving away from their original content, like they got involved in social justice or something, and they start getting hostile and belligerent about it, and they end up deviating away from the original purpose of social justice and turn into someone full of hate, the very thing they were initially up against, and they reach a crisis point where it completely breaks them, and they turn into hipster blogs who don’t bother tag anything or even talk anymore, and then at some point, they leave tumblr. (tells you how long i’ve been on here, too: i’ve actually watched blogs venture through that very pipeline, whereas it’s rare now).

but here, i’m trying really hard to understand her point, or why she’s so bent on making things difficult for me when she just winds up making things difficult for herself as well as everyone who follows her, but she can’t come out front like this. when this whole situation started, and then continued, i really was alone in the whole thing (another key trait that should tell you that i’m not the bully here as bullies usually travel in packs and their prey tend to be loners). some people who had blocked me lifted the barrier and i apologized to them straight up because i knew it was upsetting for them. add to this, i had people left and right blocking me on the pretense of my supposedly running my mouth. incredibly petty and rude (unless someone’s opinion is actually hurting you, i can’t even tell you how messed up it is to block someone for being themselves: and at that point, it stops being opinion anyway) and it really gave me some insight into this new generation of tumblrs, many of whom are a lot like her: she happens to be a prototype of sorts, a codifier for what tumblr has become. but if there’s anything that this current tumblr is not, it’s that i know you guys don’t cheat.

as much as i dislike the ____ x reader trope and stranger things, the air of “oh my gosh, look what i found!” laced with captain obvious that’s in literally everything you guys do, and as much as i wish tiktok would just go away already, gen z and a lot of her readership do have a lot of charm to them because it comes down to ego.

the pen can’t be mightier than the sword if you let your ego get in the way. fic should be fun, it shouldn’t be about cancelling or getting all defensive when someone notices that you’re fucking up and wants you to stop but you instead double down and continue to do it and play possum afterwards at the expense of everyone in the room. karma is a bitch, man, and a bigger one than i ever will be. what goes up must come down.

speaking of coming down, there’s...

there’s...

there’s...

*snicker* sorry.

ladies and gentlemen. boys and girls. everyone in between. damen und herren. madames et monsieurs.

the crown jewel. the trinity test:

BIT HER BOTTOM

BIT

HER

BOTTOM

WHAT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALEX

YOU’RE NOT HERE! YOU’RE NOT HERE! A DIRTY WORD! HE SAID A DIRTY WORD!

WHAT IN GOD’S NAME HAVE YOU DONE STICK YOUR ARM FOR SOME REAL FUN SO YOUR SICKNESS WEIGHS A TON AND GOD’S NAME HAS SMACK THE SUN!

U

G

L

Y

YOU UGLY YOU, YOU UGLY YOU UGLY YOU, YOU UGLY

YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI

YOU UGLY YOU, YOU UGLY

I AM NOW CHOPPING OFF PHYLLIS’ HEAD WITH A CHAINSAW 

I SAID A BOOM-CHICK-A-BOOM!

I SAID A BOOM-CHICK-A-BOOM!

I SAID A BOOM-CHICK-A-ROCK-A-CHICK-A-ROCK-A-CHICK-A-BOOM!

IT IS OVER! IT IS ALL OVER!

FUCK

okay, never mind the image that just conjured up. it reminds me of that eminem song where he’s rapping in an eric cartman voice, and there’s a line where he goes: “that bitch can twist like a contortionist!”

she bit her bottom and ate her own shit 🤣

it’s like, “what do you want for lunch?” “could you make me a sandwich?” “sure!”

SPLAT.

oh, my god, i cannot think of a better allegory to her fics, like seriously. between the hyper obsession with ghoulish topics to the point of not doing them right (yeah, i don’t get it either) to the juvenile humor, it fits beautifully and perfectly. i also feel like it’s foreshadowing like KARMA IS A BITCH, BABY! 😂😂😂

and that’s another thing that’s common in her fics, too, especially as of recently. she’ll omit words (which is a typo i’m often guilty of, this is getting weird) and she’ll put in a shitload of filler to pad out the word count and then shove it out the door so no one can question it.

it’s like she wants to... beat me to the punchline or something.

but guess fucking what? i have the punchline now, hahahahaha!

god, that is a terrible error, and i cannot believe no one pointed it out, either. but i also can, though, because when i make an error like that, i usually notice after the fact or when i’m editing; the fact no one’s said anything after a month confirms she’s surrounded by yes men. or at the very least, people who don’t know, or don’t care, what a con job looks like (i’ll explain that in a second).

that’s right up there with “angry balls” from twilight (with apologies to stephenie meyer, of course).

and it doesn’t really matter at this point, but it came from this:

george: “you can’t break up with me! i had hand!” AND YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT.

besides... the only taut belt I ever want to think about

is his

yeah, i’d like to see him tighten that belt of his, making that little belly poke out even more and bring more attention to his crotch 👀  swish his long beautiful hair 👀👀👀

actually, all the testament guys can tighten their belts for me any time 😏 and joey, too! he likes his belts, too. the man whom she betrayed and left behind in the dirt along with pete apparently. yeah, she threw not one, not two, but three subcultures, thrashers, grungers, and the goths, under the bus for quite literally no reason: she pretty much gave up anthrax fic after the incident with me and then her eddie vedder/grunge fic and her megadeth fic respectively in 2021, and her updates of like loving the dead since chapter 37 have been hollow and kind of boring, which tells me she’s not putting effort into them, and it’s weird because there are a few people who’ve bookmarked it saying it’s their dream peter fic. she left these fandoms, whole-ass subcultures, hanging for literally no reason other than to be petty and spiteful towards someone who stopped caring in january 2021.

what makes me different? very simple: i don’t cheat. i also genuinely like stuff.

i was thinking about this when i said it’s like she’s not even a fan of these things and she just writes because she thinks it’s what’s cool, too: she’s a grifter. she doesn’t swindle people out of their money, sure, but her behavior is parasitic enough, though.

she writes fic that appeals to a wide array of people while she keeps a straight face on (”she’ll stab you in the back with a smile on her face”, if you will) and also leeches off them under the pretense of “don’t like, don’t read”, thereby abusing fandom rules and then the very second she comes across someone who doesn’t kiss her ass or is bit of a threat to her or better yet annoys her, she turns hostile, covers her ass and gaslights everyone, and drags everyone down with her, declaring it’s “because they made do it!” lol, no. you chose to do it. i didn’t point a gun to your head and told you to ditch your fics: you did it because you have a victim complex and frankly, you suck at writing, too. there’s no money involved but you’re a grifter.

i pray for the mötley crüe fandom. really, take this from a girl who’s into alt rock and thrash and death metal, three genres that are notoriously the antitheses of glam: they don’t need the run-around like that, her building up a base only to watch her suddenly leave down the line because she can’t handle some girl being herself. instead of hitching up her bootstraps and accepting responsibility like any person with a spine and common sense, she plays the blame game and goes “look what she made me do”. who the hell does she think she is, taylor swift? (say what you want about her, but at least taylor has the decency to learn from her mistakes and has a healthy sense of self-awareness. and she’s actually a nice person, too: regina george is more charming than the green druidess) like i said, i’ve grown as a writer and a person. from the looks of it, the green druidess, formerly known as daveighmustaine, formerly known as fromthewasteland, has not one bit. the only thing that’s different is username and pettiness level.

by the way, alex likes to wear a lot of black and red (and green, oddly enough), too, so before i get called out for double standards: no, context is important.

and speaking of context, there’s also a line in this fic where nick runs his fingers down liz’s bare body to her (’scuse me) “abdomen” and she has a belly button piercing. it’s insufficient to say, but i feel like she had the hanukkah chapter of black moon open, too (fits the time frame: that was posted on the 18th and her fic on the 27th). and maybe disciples of the watch from eclipse, too, and blood & chocolate, and really anything i wrote that’s a bit sexual because i have a belly kink, specifically “little round bellies that look like they’d be fun to kiss, cuddle with, playfully poke, gently pat, tickle, admire from afar with the right fabrics and colors, and maybe fill them up until they’re very full and give them lots of gentle rubs”.

so, she not only copies from me, but she can’t even do kinks right. 

how is that possible? 

when you write kink, there’s this unspoken commitment behind it, like... you know. commit. shit or get off the pot. dude, i have written bdsm scenes where they were enjoying themselves. i wrote temperature play, and elemental play (pyrophilia and aquaphilia), and not once did i inject some painful bullshit.

and i thought we learned from 50 shades, too. there’s literally a right way to do it all and she isn’t doing it. “it makes it more believable and enjoyable!” no, it doesn’t. take this from a virgin: if you’re in pain while having sex, stop. extreme pain is not empowering or sexy: it’s quite the opposite. don’t keep going until one of you is crying and then you call the guy a fuckhead and he’s reveling in your verbal abuse. you’re treating not just him like shit, but yourself, too.

how do you people following her sleep at night knowing your precious fic writer, your “gorgeous queen”, is glorifying abuse across the board and is grifting everyone right in front of their faces, not once apologizing or being levelheaded about anything. she has shown to me, since 2020, that she cannot handle people who are different. hell, it looks like she can’t even handle fandom, period, because i have seen, time and time again, people in fandom far worse than me and i can tell she’s not okay with it. always wanting more attention, more sympathy, just like ol’ tila nguyen who preceded her by 20 years.

i’m just... i’m gonna y’all this right now.

it’s only a matter of time before she says something really problematic, and she loses control of everything. and you’re going to wish you believed me when it all first happened.