#Disney Villains Incorrect Quote
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whimsi-clown · 7 months ago
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Hi strangers! I 'm currently going on a Disney movie marathon for the 3rd part of my RIDV AU fic, so here are some incorrect quotes while you wait.
Tags: @demodemo909, @imtryingandtired, @missmannequin.
(Thank you guys so much for showing appreciation for the dumb Disney Villains AU I made on a whim, and I hope these even dumber incorrect quotes can entertain you while waiting on the next part!)
Warning: The usual, cursing, OOC, and itty bitty inappropriate jokes. Also, it's long, like, really long. I had too much fun with these quotes, and it shows.
Hey hey! Life in the Villain house! Oh yeah! Life in the Villain house! Reader! Life in the Villain house!~
(If you understood this reference, I am both sorry and not sorry at the same time)
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*Disney Villains suddenly appearing before you*
You : I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.
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Gaston: Our dear host is playing hard to get.
Gaston: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
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You : *Venting endlessly to Hades about your week*
Hades, every once in a while: *In a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.
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You: Wake up! The sun is shining!
Cruela: What do you want me to do, photosynthesis?
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Gaston: I love you.
You: How many people have you said that to?
Gaston: Everyone.
You: What?
Gaston: I told everyone that I love you.
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You: Look guys, I need help.
Ursula: Love help?
Hades: Financial help?
Captain Hook: Emotional help?
Oogie Boogie: Help moving a body?
*Everybody looks at Oogie Boogie*
Oogie Boogie: What?
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You, to Jafar: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?
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You: Why do you keep a diary?!
Captain Hook: To keep secrets from your computer.
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You, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Maleficent: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Oogie Boogie: Personally, I think I was made in a lab.
Hades: I just straight up spawned, lol.
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Gaston: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.
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Captain Hook: *Slowly pushes a 17th-century cannon into a modern bank* Okay, everyone, be calm. This is a robbery.
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Oogie Boogie: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.
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You: All of your existences are confusing.
The villains: How so?
You: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you guys upsets me.
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You: As a responsible adult-
The villains: *snickers*
You: ... As a responsible adult—
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You: I don't like bugs. Oogie Boogie, are you even listening to me?
Oogie Boogie: I seem to have misplaced some of my bugs.
You, at Hades (aka your personal flame thrower): HAADDDEEEESSSSS!!!
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*Talking on the phone*
Hades: Remember how I said that the gang and I were gonna have a calm night out for once?
You: ... Yeah?
Hades: Well, we’re in jail.
You: *Hangs up*
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Hades: *Gets set on fire and screams in agony*
Hades: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me. Literally.
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You: Something tells me Oogie Boogie's going to be a bit more unhinged today...
*Meanwhile, in the villain house*
Oogie Boogie, holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos: Leave me be, the host isn't home to stop me, I'm going feral.
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You: COMPANY IS COMING! I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE DISNEY ON ICE IN ONE MINUTE!
You: GASTON IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED THROW IT AWAY IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE IT NOW!
You: GET RID OF THE COUCHES, WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE S I T !
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A complete stranger, looking at the disney villains who are experiencing and interacting with the outside world for the first time: Those guys look like a problem...
You: Yes, but they’re my problem.
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You, looking at the villains: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.
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Captain Hook, drowning in crocodile infested waters: Help me host!
You: Don't worry, I heard cowards float.
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Grimhilde: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
You: It was autocorrect.
Grimhilde: Autocorrect wrote, "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
You: Yes.
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You, talking to the villains: As you know, I keep a list of all of you in order of how likely they are to betray me.
Oogie Boogie: Where am I on the list?
You: Well, I can’t tell you that because then you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.
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Gaston: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Grimhilde is walking in this room.
You: *Wheezes*
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You: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!
You: *Aggressively throws water bottles*
Hades: Uh... What's up with them?
Jafar: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.
You, aggressively shouting: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!
Captain Hook, crying: It's working.
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Gaston: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
You: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.
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Dr. Facilier: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor, and it ain't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Dr. Facilier, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win, you should have tried not being poor.
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Scar: I prevented a murder today.
You: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that?
Scar: Self-control.
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You: Holy shit, Hades, do you know what this means?!
Hades: Babes, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.
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Gaston, throwing their head into you lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
You, unphased and stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
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Gaston: Why don’t they find me sexy when I bite my lip?
Hades: What do you look like when you bite your lip?
Gaston: *Bites lip*
Hades: ... Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?
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You: *Fills up bottle and drinks from that*
Jafar: *Brought 4 bottles of water so this wouldn’t happen*
Shan Yu: *Drinks straight from the tap*
Hades: *Dehydrates*
Scar: *Drinks from the puddle of water on the floor*
Oogie Boogie: *Licks the tap, doesn’t even need a drink*
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Dr. Facilier: *Looks over your shoulder and at your laptop* What the fuck?
You: *Slams screen shut* It’s just research! For something I’m writing about! I swear that’s it!
Dr. Facilier: Why the hell would that involve the breeding habits of frogs?
You: It’s not just “frogs”, it’s the Surinam Toad. And it’s not “breeding habits”, it’s how they raise their young. This is important information my audience needs to know!
Dr. Facilier: That doesn’t change the fact this is for one line in a fanfiction.
You, offendedly: You don’t know that!
Dr. Facilier: I don't hear no denial.
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You: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon.
Grimhilde: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic.
You: Hades and the smoke detector need to get off my case.
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Hades, grinning: Before you were what?
Maleficent: Before I was-
Hades: What?
Maleficent: Before I was inter-
Hades: Before you were interrupted?
Maleficent: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll-
Hades: What?
Maleficent: *Makes a frustrated sound*
You, nervously laughing: Ahahaha, please stop that before she turns into a dragon and burns my house down.
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*The normal looking villains walking at the mall*
Dr. Facilier: Hey, have any of y'all seen our host? They’ve been gone for a while..
Grimhilde, not the least bit concerned: No, we have not.
Shan Yu : I haven’t...
Cruela: They probably just ran off to the McDonald’s or something.
You: Hey.
Captain Hook: Oh, there they are-
Gaston: What the-
Jafar: I- where were you?!
You: ... Walking right behind you guys.
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Gaston: Well, remember when our host made a romantic dinner for me?
Hades: Gaston, they microwaved you a pizza.
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Shan Yu: Someone will die...
You: Of fun!
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You: Could you be anymore annoying?
Oogie Boogie: Yes.
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You: Oogie Boogie, you can do anything!
Oogie Boogie: Anything?
You: Anything!
Oogie Boogie, holding a torch: ANYTHING?!?!
You: Wait, not that!
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Gaston, playing a video game for the first: This thing is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
You: Ok, I think it’s time to turn off the game for a little while.
Gaston: But I’m having fun!
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Gaston: *Gasp*
You: wHAT??
Gaston: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?
You: *Inhales*
Cruela, in another room with Ursula: Why can I hear screeching?
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Dr. Facilier: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.
You: Please never become a surgeon.
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You: I was arrested for being too cool.
Jafar: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
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Dr. Facilier: Damn, the power went out.
You: Don’t worry, I got this.
You: *Stomps foot*
Dr. Facilier: What-?
You: *Sketchers light up*
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You: What do you have?
Oogie Boogie: A KNIFE!
You: NO!
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Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.
You: Which one? I have twelve.
Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.
You: Which one? I have twelve.
Gaston, distantly: HEY!!!
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Scar: Given the circumstances, I will let you hug me for four to five seconds.
You: Forty five seconds?!?
Scar: No! I said four TO five seconds.
You, hugging Scar: Too late.
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Shan Yu: I have an army.
You: We have Oogie Boogie.
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*The villains playing Among Us*
Jafar: I believe Shan Yu is innocent, I was with him the whole time. Oogie Boogie, what were you doing?
Oogie Boogie: Oh, I was just murdering-… I mean, nothing!
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Grimhilde: When we get back, I'm going to step on you!
You: Okay, as much as I might enjoy that, Your highness–
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Jafar: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Hades?
Hades: Gaston, easily.
Gaston, confused: What, why??
Hades: Well, cuz I hate you, and the host would be too easy. They’d probably be into it.
You, standing in the doorway with the most bewildered expression: What the fuck man!?
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You: I think it’s time I get my life in order.
Dr. Facilier, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.
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*Scar hears about you bringing home a stray cat.*
Scar, sarcastically: I can't believe there's another cat somewhere in this house. Amazing feeling. Love that. And it's here, in this house! Somewhere! And I may encounter it! What a treat...
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*The female villains after watching The Wizard of Oz*
Grimhilde: Where the devil is Maleficent?
Ursula: Well, it's raining outside... Maybe they melted?
Cruela: Shall I look outside for a pointy set of horns?
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Hades: Any idiot would know that.
Gaston: I knew that!
Hades: See?
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Scar: I'm not lazy, I just find it hard to put effort into things I'm not passionate about.
You: What are you passionate about?
Scar: Sleeping.
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Gaston: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.
Grimhilde: Thank you for your sacrifice, Gaston.
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You: If I see a bug, I'll simply leave the room elegantly and have Hades to do something about it.
You: And if he doesn't fulfill my wish, I simply never go back in there.
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Dr. Facilier, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-
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You: I haven't seen Gaston and Hades for fifteen minutes now.
*Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Gaston and Hades running after it in a panic. You don't look outside at all.*
You: That probably means they're getting into trouble.
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You: Go to hell!
Hades: Where do you think I come from?
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Oogie Boogie: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room.
You: It’s called arson, and those people are called witnesses.
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Dr. Facilier: What are y’all’s favorite things to wake up to?
Grimhilde: Breakfast in bed.
You: Emails from AO3!
Shan Yu: My favorite thing to wake up to is not waking up at all.
Shan Yu: The screams of my enemies are a close second, though.
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You: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment... At all?
Gaston: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.
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Oogie Boogie: Treat bugs the way you want to be treated!
You: Killed without hesitation.
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Captain Hook, recently learned modern swears: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!
You: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Captain Hook: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
You: Somehow, that's worse.
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Maleficent: We all have our demons...
You, grabbing Oogie Boogie: This one’s mine!
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Shan Yu: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.
You: Those are wanted posters!
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Captain Hook: So, what's for dinner?
You, staring at the food you burnt: Regret.
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Gaston: So, I've been thinking-
You: Again?? That's dangerous.
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Hades: Why would you do that?
You: Because I feel guilty.
Maleficent: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.
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You: *Eating a cinnamon roll*
Oogie Boogie: Cannibalism.
You: *Confused chewing noises*
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*At the supermarket*
Captain Hook: All right, the last item on the list is "virgin oil."
Captain Hook:
Captain Hook: Wow. Imagine being an item and still being called a virgin.
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You: What’s your body count?
Captain Hook: Do you mean sex or murder?
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You: *Is wearing silk pants* How does this look?
Cruela: Like its slips on and off really easily.
You:
Cruela: No, I didn't mean it like that-
Ursula: We know what you meant.
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You: Bonjour, Dr. Facilier. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?
Dr. Facilier: No, I don't want to sleep with you.
You: ... Is that what that means??
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You: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!
Gaston, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack,
You, deadpanning at Gaston: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.
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Jafar: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.
Hades: Wow, I've gotta hear this.
Jafar: I was angry and envious of my neighbor, so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.
Hades: You forgot pride.
Jafar: No, I'm pretty proud of this.
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Maleficent: Our dear host annoyed me today, so I told them that I can’t wait for them to see what I had planned for our special day tomorrow.
Scar: There is nothing special about tomorrow.
Maleficent: But there is something special about watching the color leave their face as panic takes over.
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You: You’re all insane!
The villains: Sure we are, what’s your point?
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Gaston: I want you to be with me for the rest of your life.
You: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal... A really one-sided one.
Gaston, getting down on one knee: That's because it is.
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You, admiring and petting a sleeping Scar: You’re so cute.
Scar, sleepily: I could tear you limb from limb with my bare fangs.
You, lovingly: I know.
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Oogie Boogie: *Writing a letter*
Oogie Boogie: Dear Sandy Claws,
I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...
And it was worth it, you fat, judgemental bastard.
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You, dealing with the villains: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?
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*You are cleaning the house, and you find an empty bottle of orange juice*
You: Clear orange juice?
You: Oh, it's empty.
Most of the villains, who had been watching the entire time: We live with an idiot. We live with an idiot. We live with an idiot.
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Scar: Our relationship is strictly professional.
You, brushing Scar's mane as he lays his head on your lap: Absolutely. Only business.
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All the female villains: We're not like other girls. We're way, way worse.
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Captain Hook: There. How do I look?
Dr. Facilier: Like a cheap French harlot.
Captain Hook: French?!
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Shan Yu, towering over you and glaring down at you: I could kill you if I wanted to little host.
You absolutely done with his bs: Oh yeah? Well, guess what. So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.
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Hades: Some people say that I have a god complex. I’d like to think that I’m a complex god.
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You: Captain, you're drunk.
Captain Hook: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, my dear host.
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Jafar: There’s always that one weak individual within the group who isn’t down with murder.
Jafar: *Glares at you*
You: ... Well sorry I have morals!
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Shan Yu, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-
Dr. Facilier, whispering: Should we call someone?
You, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.
Captain Hook, appalled: Call Maleficent.
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Oogie Boogie: Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost!
You: That’s called murder and I heard somewhere that it's illegal.
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You: You remind me of the ocean.
Ursula: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
You: No, because you're full of salt, and you scare people.
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Oogie Boogie: Something’s off.
You: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Oogie Boogie: No, but that’s funny.
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You: What do you call disobeying the law?
The villains: A hobby.
You: *Crosses their arms*
The villains: ... That we do not engage in.
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You: Stop thinking whatever you're thinking.
Gaston: Huh?
You: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid. So cut it out-
Gaston: I love you.
You:
Gaston:
Gaston: Also, cereal qualifies as a soup.
You: I KNEW IT!!!
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You, extremely touched: Aw, you guys really put aside everything and came all this way for me?
You:
You, confused: How did you even get here so fast??
Cruela: Several traffic violations.
Jafar: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Gaston: Roughly thirteen cans of those energy drinks you like so much.
Dr. Facilier: Also, this aint our car.
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If you made it to this part, then congratulations! You made it through all 101 incorrect quotes! (I know, I counted them myself)
I hope you enjoyed them!
And for those of you who read through all of this and have no idea what you just read, here's Part 1 of the Reverse Isekai Disney Villains AU for context.
Thanks for reading!
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zenzerodomina · 27 days ago
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Kristoff: you are just a spoiled brat with daddys money that has never worked for anything in life. you are an arrogant narcissist that expect anything you ask for on a silver plate!
Hans: how dare you say such terrible true things about me?!
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slashingdisneypasta · 2 years ago
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Incorrect Quote
Captain Hook giving you a tour of the House of Villains, giving you some tips as to how to survive here.
Hook: Oh- my dear, did you see that?
Y/N, thinking how maybeee Jafar shouldn't be baiting Hades like he is... : ... Uhm-
Hook: The correct answer is no, no you didn't. Now walk faster.
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underqualified-human · 6 months ago
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Y/N: That's not a hawk, it's obviously a peregrine falcon. Facilier: How can you be so sure? Y/N: One attacked me as a small child. Facilier: Oh... that's- Y/N: It did not win.
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rookieoneil · 13 days ago
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Lucy: who’s the scariest Disney villain in a princess film?
Celina: probably Mother Gothel
Tamara: Gaston cause he’s a man, and that’s all you need to know
Celina: oh dang she’s right
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not-wholly-unheroic · 5 months ago
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Smee: Okay, Cap’n, I got you a hot water bottle… and some tea… and a nice, soft blanket. Is there anything else that would help you feel better?
Hook: …Can you gently pat me while I make pathetic sounds of distress?
Smee: Of course.
Hook: *incoherent whimpering noises*
Smee: *pats him on the back* Shhhhh… There, there, Cap’n.
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Based on this comic.
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luxthestrange · 2 years ago
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TWST Incorrect quotes#331 LUCKY INDEED-
Inside the Draconia Castle
Lilia: My lord?*Voices echos thru the halls looking for Malleus*
Malleus Gasps as he sits up from the couch, Swollen red lips, messy hair a bit out of breath, Looks around the room in panic*
Lilia: Helloooo?~ Mal: My guardian!*accidentally smacking you with his tail* Yuu: Ow!-*Sitting up, Is the same as Malleus..only with 1...or 2 cuts on your lips, Grinning happily* Mal*Gasping as he tries to smoothen his hair and clothes fast*What's he gonna think if he finds you like this with me? Yuu: Uh, lucky human?~*Cleans the edge of his lips...still having a bit of drool* Mal: J-Just-Just-Just...*Frowns as he contains his flustered state as he picks you up and throws you into his closet to hide*
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...Im here for the people who want to be the villains who set the world ablaze for their s/o!
Part 3 of:
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hannahhook7744 · 9 months ago
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"YOU FOUGHT HIM WITH A WHAT?!"
-An Auradon Kid to A Villain Kid at some point.
(They sorely underestimate the villain kids' ability to be able to turn anything into a weapon).
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hawks: sooo what are we watching today?
dabi: the lion king
hawks: disney?
dabi: yeah, i wanna watch how simba’s old man dies and he’s better off without him
hawks: okay, sure. so you wanna tell me that you don’t cry on disney movies?
dabi: me? never. birdie please, you know me.
*somewhere in the middle of the lion king movie*
dabi: *mufasa dies and he is curled up in a blanket on hawks’ lap and sobs loudly*
hawks: *stroking dabi’s hair gently* are you ok babe? still not crying?
dabi: *sobbing* yes, why? i told you he’s better of without mufasa, and i’m not crying at all
hawks: *smiling a little bit* of course, softie
dabi: i’m not a softie
hawks: sure you’re not
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newkatzkafe2023 · 4 months ago
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It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
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feel-the-fire · 5 months ago
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Gaston: Are you seriously judging me right now?
Frollo: I’m just impressed you want to suck your own dick this badly.
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zenzerodomina · 21 days ago
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Lars: Hans, why are you standing in front of the fan?
Hans: I’m waiting for Anna to look into our window when she come home. When the fan is blowing on me, I look like a fancy supermodel.
Lars: You want princess Anna to think you’re a supermodel?
Hans: Giving her eye candy is the least I can do. It’ll probably be the best part of her walk!
Lars, sarcastically: You’re selfless.
Hans: Thank you for noticing.
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slashingdisneypasta · 2 years ago
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Incorrect Quote
Y/N, laying in bed: Don't you have a country to run?...
Evil Queen, sitting by the bed with a book in her lap: Mm, no. My favourite peasant is in the infirmary, the country can wait.
Y/N: ... I don't think it works like that...
Evil Queen: I run the country, so it does.
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incorrectneverland · 1 year ago
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Cruella: Go away little... whatever you are.
Smee: I'll have you know-
Hook: *Walks in*
Cruella: DARLING! so good to see you again!
Hook: And you my dear, looking absolutely fashion forward as usual.
Cruella: Are you taking your little.... friend with us?
Hook: Oh no he's not one for theater.
Smee: I hope you have fun captain.
Hook: I will. *Walks out*
Cruella: *follows glaring at smee*
Smee: *glares back*
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Smee: Bad influences all of em...
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fandomnerd9602 · 5 months ago
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Female Reader performing the song that she wrote about her girlfriend Amy Madden
Y/N takes the stage, Amy watches…
Y/N: Amy, this one’s for you
I never dreamed that someone could see
Right thru who I was into all I could be
Only your love could make me believe
I could something more
So much more than me
The small crowd cheers…
Amy blows a kiss to Y/N, a few stray tears in her eyes…
Jake: whipped
Amy: shut up
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