#Disgusting that people were booing her. She's incredible. The song is incredible.

[jewishspite]

Because all the posts under the eurovision tag are full of hate:

👏EDEN👏GOLAN👏IS👏A👏QUEEN👏AND👏HURRICANE👏IS👏AN👏AMAZING👏SONG👏

[d-targaryenshoe]

A Tasteless Mess • Jesse Williams

Summary: Being in the world's biggest girl group and having a celebrity crush do not always go well together

word count: 1394

Your album Confetti had now been released to the outside world full of fans for three weeks. And with people who needed a belt under their hearts, or some kind of support.

But soon people were asked from all over to be a guest on talk shows, music events, photoshoots and the rest that came along as a member of a well-known girl band.

"These girls have the power to turn other girls with no confidence into the strongest girls ever, their sixth album Confetti has been out since last week, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Little Mix!" James stepped away from behind the desk and walked over to the sofa.

The five of you emerged from behind the curtain and heard the screams of the fans in the audience.

Waving to the fans, the five of you took turns embracing James, and you all did the same with Shawn and Lizzo.

Just as you all sat down Lizzo waved her hand in her face for some fresh air. "I can't believe these five amazing bitches are sitting next to me, James, let me have this moment"

The audience laughed at Lizzo's choice of words to describe her feelings toward the five girls sitting next to her.

"Yeah you're all pretty great, that's totally a statement" Shawn admitted, nodding to the five of you

"Pretty great? Shawnie boy, boo, listen, these women, I- they slay my life, they're incredibly good" Lizzo let out a loud laugh and put her ponytail on her left shoulder.

James placed pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at the audience with a neutral stare before turning it towards Lizzo. "Melissa Jefferson, this is my show, do you mind?"

Lizzo laughed again at the expression James just showed on his face. "Of course I'll just try to shut up, for now."

you and Jesy snort at Lizzo's answer before James directed one of his questions to you. "The album Confetti, it shows us a new side of you, was that your goal?"

Jesy nodded to the man's question before answering. "Especially a more mature side of us, that's something we wanted to show to the world and to our Mixers."

"Nothing but my feelings, is that one of those songs?" James asked, cerious.

"Definitely, me, Jade and Leigh-Anne wrote this song, we wrote it on a writing trip to LA, it's a very innocent song but the lyrics are quite daring."  You explained when the fans started cheering.

"Are you going on a Confetti tour soon?" James said.

"Sure, it would be a shame not to sing these bangers live with fans like them, wouldn’t it?" Perrie pointed to the fans sitting in the multiple seats. "They're amazing and part of us."

"They really are." Leigh-Anne nodded, smiling at the fans.

"You heard it people they are going on a tour, but before we say goodbye, let's play a game of Spill Your Guts or fill Your Guts, come on."

the five of you stood up and followed the host of this show to the table, which was surrounded by six chairs and a plate filled with foods you'd rather not eat.

"The rules are simple, we will be asking each other a few personal questions. If you don't answer, you will have to eat a disgusting food of your opponents choice." James explained.

"there's jellyfish, turkey testicles, vienna sausage juice, also bull penis, bug trifle, bird saliva, june bug jello and a pepper smoothie." James said as he turned the plate.

"I can't believe I haven't run away yet." Jade muttered, sitting on the chair next to you.

"there is little chance now, I suppose." Perrie smiled at Jade, hands clasped on the table.

"I'll ask the first question, I'll give Jesy the bug trifle, by the way." Leigh-Anne said when James handed the cards to her. "Oh this is a good one."

"rank these collaborations from best to worst, Secret Love Song, How Ya Doing and More Than Words." Leigh-Anne read aloud, glaring at Jesy.

Jesy grinned at herself, licked her lips and took the glass with the trifle, peeking at the audience. "I can just eat some of the cream? I'm really not going to answer this question."

"if you want to be an wuss, sure, why not." James shrugged as the audience laughed slightly.

Jesy took the spoon and took a small scoop of the cream next to the bug and put it in her mouth before swallowing it with her eyes closed.

"Okay the next one if for Jade Amelia Thirlwall and I'll give her the bird saliva." James said, smiling at Jade shaking her head. "Rank these music videos, Sweet melody, Holiday and Break Up Song."

Jade leaned back in the chair, glaring at the glass filled with the thin substance. "I won’t touch that glass, nope, uhm, Sweet melody, Holiday and then Break Up Song, no hate, all three of those are great songs."

The rest of you nodded your heads to her answer, which is what you had privately talked about. Sweet Melody was your favorite music video at the moment.

The choreo, the location, the transitions everything was perfect about the music video. something you hadn't done for a long.

"The next one is for y/n and she gets the bull penis." Perrie smirked, turning the plate towards you. "It is not a lie that you co-wrote the lyrics to 'Shout Out to my ex' together with me, but which ex was it exactly?"

You laughed when Perrie finished reading the question just asked. "not a hair on my head that thinks I will answer this."

you took a small piece out of the bowl in front of you and inspected it although the smell came in very strong and made you cough before putting it in your mouth while the audience applauded

After a second of chewing you spit the piece into the bucket next to you, the dirty taste took over in your mouth, you took the glass of water that was standing on the table, finishing it all. "don't try this at home, Mixers."

"and now finally the host, we will give you the june bug jello." Jesy joked, spinning the plate. "Out of all the guests you've seen here, who wanted the fans to see for a long time?"

"oh! I know! I'm one of those! This is so unfair now that I know something." you pouted your lip when the audience laughed at your enthusiasm.

James frowned at Jesy and crossed his arms in thought, turning his head to the audience. "you can't accidentally call it or something?"

James sighed and took the jello off the plate and began to chew on the yellow and not so tasty dish that was being served.

he swallowed it and shook his head, overwhelmed with the taste now in his mouth. "that wasn't good."

the audience laughed and Jade took the last ticket before bursting into a loud laugh and clapping her hands and looking at you with wiggling eyebrows.

"oh god why am I scared?" you looked at the audience with a frown on your forehead.

"We all know you go live on Instagram once a week, we also know that besides being a member of Little Mix, that you are someone's fangirl, our fans know that too, or is it more of a crush?" tried to read to Jade, but she laughed.

"Who did me like that? dear lord, I'm not answering this after- fuck," you laughed nervously and the audience laughed along.

"So your love for Jesse Williams is huge?" James asked as a smirk played on his lips.

"Have you seen him? His eyes, his smile, his voice is so recognizable, the freckles, just everything ‘bout that man, but why are you smirking?" you asked.

"Maybe I should ask him?" said a voice from next to you that made you freeze, and the audience began to shout.

"no, no, no, no fucking way, okay, I'm gonna freak out, omg." your eyes opened wide when you turned and your celebrity crush was behind you. "oh my- I can rest in peace, can I give you a hug?"

you didn't wait for an answer but got up from your chair and took the actor in an embrace, the feeling of fangirl filled your heart.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

This is a personal opinion but from where I see it the Given movie and the anime itself definitely was... something that I would question because somethings just.. didn't make sense to me. The development of the Characters were either super fast or super slow and it made the pacing really really weird for me idk. But I do think that a huge reason so many people love the Given movie is because of the fact that when you compare Given to OTHER JP BL animes, there's very very slight improvement in terms of the story itself of Given. Is the story poorly executed? Fucking hell, who the hell is going to say no here. But is it better then some of the JP BLs out there? That's depended on how you view BL to be. For a lot of people things like Super Lovers or Hitorijime My Hero are super unbearable to watch because it's "problematic" (which honestly okay, you do you BB) which then leads them to look for BL animes that DON'T have such "themes." Leading them to actually liking things poorly executed but just "not problematic", Given for example.

Given is “not problematic”? Debatable.

Their first kiss was right after Mafuyu finally had a courage to sing a song about his ex who commited a suicide. ???

Problematic doesn’t only mean stuff like “he’s underage”. What about using someone to get over your grief or getting into a relationship with someone who is still not over his ex death and is vulnerable at the moment? Is this suddenly “not problematic” bc they’re same age and he haven’t pushed him into a wall in throws of passion?

To me it’s not even about the fact if it’s problematic or not (it’s rarely not tho, no matter what ppl think), it’s about whether its believable and feels genuine or not. It depends on many factors: situation, characters past, traumas, etc, etc. It depends on the story and how you write it.

Change some stuff and it’s gonna be a completely different thing. Make it like Uenoyama only hugged Mafuyu after the song, even tho he wanted to kiss him, but knows that it’s not the right moment. Make Mafuyu heal first, make Uenoyama be in his own angst that he loves Mafuyu so much for example, but cares about him recover more, so he doesn’t expect for it to go somewhere, then he tries to date someone and Mafuyu first starts getting out there, when he feels like he can start trying again. Someday he gets sick and Uenoyama cancels his date to take care of him even tho it’s nothing serious and then the realization comes. Make Mafuyu kiss him first and take the first step. This would’ve changed everything so much. He should’ve made the first step when he was ready, this would’ve felt so right. Uenoyama kissing him after that song is just.. it feels, I was like ehhhmmm.. weird?

Seeing someone saying that Given is a masterpiece is hilarious to me. The fact that it includes heavy themes like suicide, doesn’t make it a masterpiece, esp when it’s handled this badly. Once again, if you pick such thing as a base for a love story, do it right then, not in a “bibbidi bobbidi boo” kind of thing. 

BL or not BL, any relationships, it depends on whether you watch it and it feels plausable or not. 

For example, if Yuu says that he can’t live with Mika, my tongue won’t even twist to call it “unhealthy” or be like “dude why”. But if some high schooler in slice of life anime who has a caring family tried to end himself bc his two weeks friend left him, I would’ve yelled “bitch go see a doctor”. 

Depending on the story you can sell some feelings or not.

Nezumi and Shion are also problematic according to ppl’s logic these days. But I 100% believe they’re each other’s true loves. Only 11 episodes and it’s sold.

In Given I didn’t believe it. Bc it’s ridiculous, ok? It wasn’t the right place or time to start this relationship. It is not a new love story, it’s just a sad story. 

Given movie is slightly better compared to other japanese BL? Why would you offend Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, Uragiri wa boku no namae, No.6 and many others?

Also better where? They kept the same old “’stop, i don’t want to’, but he did it anyway” stuff AND on top of that the story sucks.

The way he used him knowing very well that he was unrequitedly in love with him for so long is so disgusting that it leaves a much grosser feeling than many yaois combined. You’re saying “it’s slightly better” bc they’re of age or don’t have an age difference? I don’t get it. It somehow makes everything better?

No, thanks. I’d rather watch Onodera sleep with Takano in high school with them being genuinely into each other and it going great than whatever happened in the Given movie. I don’t care if they’re both 18 there, it made me feel bad.

I didn’t feel bad, when Wei Wuxian thought “why the fuck didn't I have sex with Lan Zhan back when I was 15? I've really pissed away all my days, haven't I?”. I wonder why is that.

Like what you’re saying here is that their opinion on BL is so low that they automatically would give it 10 out of 10 bc it’s slightly better than smth that they find “unbearable” to watch? What kind of evaluation is that exactly? Maybe also let’s compare each anime to “boku no pico”, then everything will look like a masterpiece.

Like excuse me for the fact that when I watch some shonen-ai and yaoi, I judge it the same way I judge any other genre and any other relationships (hetero or gay) in animes. On a scale whether I care or don’t care, whether I believe that they love each other or don’t, whether it’s a good story or not. I don’t get what it means “it’s good for yaoi”. It’s just not good. This movie is trash, I mean, the relationship in it is trash. Who the fuck cares gay or not gay. Trash relationships are trash. Bad story is a bad story. Whether it’s a bad gay story or a bad hetero story, I don’t give a shit.

The reason I’m more into boy on boy ships is because I love the relationships there more than relationships in most heterosexual couples. My fav hetero ships are either “from hate/attraction to love” stories like “gone with the wind”, “anastasia” or “pride and prejudice” or stuff like “equals without pink goo, who only see each other and don’t need no one else and would die for each other, epic soulmates” like Richard and Kahlan. In anime 99% of those fit bromances, not romances. Like I don’t find Midoriya/Uraraka appealing at all for a reason that “she said ‘hi’, he blushed as a tomato, now they’re supposed to be each other’s romantic interests” is not what I find romantic. I find romantic the fact that Todoroki is forever devoted to Midoriya bc he knows he’s amazing and is not afraid to say it; and he’ll always be there for him when he needs him, no matter what it is, him just sitting there crying, some villain trying to kill him or if he’s too late out ther grossery shopping. Uraraka most of the times doesn’t even care where he is.

Most hetero romantic animes, I just find ridiculous, too cheesy and unrealistic and I’m not ready to watch 50 episodes for them to hold hands. I’m not in that age and I also never found things like this romantic before either. Stuff like Kisa/Yukine, when you meet someone, find him attractive, wanna fuck him, then fall in love accidentally.. yeah, that’s understandable to me. Stuff like Takano/Onodera “I was an naive idiot in high school, but now life made me a sassy bitch and I can’t open up to people as easily” also yes, relatable. 

When you’re turning into a tomato bc someone said “penis” and think holding hands will take your virginity or smth, that’s not my thing.

So when I watch BL, I expect more, not less. So if it’s bad, I just say it’s bad, I’m not gonna be like “hmm... unproblematic... then 10/10″ like what? 

1stly, even “little mermaid” and “cinderella” are problematic. 

2ndly everyone is so focused on purity these days, like storyline don’t matter at all. It’s like any great love story is automatically trash if they have age difference. Any trash love story is great, if they don’t?

Let’s then also rate “Dororo” as 1, bc it’s like 24 episodes of them falling for each other while she’s 11 and he’s 16. Wow, such gross relationships they have during the whole story. Doesn’t matter that she grew up at the end of the last episode, the whole anime she’s a child. And let’s rate Noragami 0, bc 2000 years old perverted Yato is into 15 year olds.

No one has to fuck asap (heck even in the same hella problematic “Super Lovers” you talk about, Haru refused to fuck Ren even tho he was 17 in s2 and wanted to fuck another guy) and the rule “you can only fall in love after 18″ doesn’t exist. Also underage is not BL thing, it’s all anime thing. It’s time to shut it already. There are zillions of age gap couples out there who are great. Hyakkimaru waited for Dororo to grow up, it’s fine, seriously, they love each other in the right way, he didn’t want to fuck her when she was 11, okay? They did love each other tho already then. Pls excuse them for that.

3rdly, some relationship that ppl here call unproblematic are 20 times more problematic, than what they call problematic.

4tly, why the heck it’s like couples who have an amazing character and relationship progression, who love each other to death and will do anything for each other, ppl go: “wow, at the very beginning, he grabbed his wrist, he needs to go to jail”. Meanwhile a relationship who has no base, no story, no logical progression, no anything are “yes, best love story in the world”. Yeah... who cares if it feels like it’s all been pulled out of an ass and doesn’t make sense, very healthy tho.

It sounds lately like if most ppl here had two stories in front of them and one would be about two men who just met and the next day one proposed and they lived happily ever after and 2nd would be some complicated incredible story with a natural progression of the relationship, but they yelled at each other once, they’d be like “1st is better”. Well, not to me, no.

[empyreanwritings]

Still Into You

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: language, mentions of sexual situations, a dash of angst

Summary: Your brother knows you better than anyone. He knows that your fiance is just a rebound. He knows that you’re still in love with Steve. And he knows that if he invites Steve to his engagement party, you’re bound to fall for him all over again.

A/N: This is written for @prettyyoungtragedy ‘s 10k Challenge! Congrats on 10k, boo! You totally deserve it! If you guys don’t follow Maya then you are crazy because she has some amazing stories under her belt that y’all need to check out!  My prompt is “Must you always reek of disappointment and judgement when you look at us” and is bolded below (: 

Feedback is always welcome and encouraged (: x

You move through the crowd with ease, occasionally stopping to say hello to an important CEO or politician. Your silk dress skirts along the floor, and you love the way people longingly glance at you as you pass them. You feel regal. Elegant. Ready to take on the world.

The music in the ballroom is pounding the walls, and the drinks are flowing all around you. Your skin is warm from the amount of alcohol you've consumed. You're not drunk but comfortably buzzed.

It's not every day you celebrate your brother's engagement. You intend to enjoy it as much as possible.

"Enjoying the party?" You hum into your fiancé's ear as he orders another drink at the bar.

He glances down at you and smiles. His arm has snaked its way around your waist, and he places a lazy kiss to your shoulder.

"I am now." He beams.

Brock Rumlow is an incredibly charming man. You two managed to get engaged just after six months of dating. He claims it's because he loves you so much, but your brother believes he has ulterior motives. You're one of the heirs to Stark Industries. Why wouldn't a man like Rumlow try to snag you before anyone else could?

It's a silly accusation, but you can never convince Tony of that.

You order yourself a vodka cranberry and scan the crowd to see if there are any familiar faces. You regret the action instantly when you spot him making his way through the entrance. Your blood runs cold in your veins, and a sense of betrayal lingers around you. How could Tony invite him after everything?

His eyes are on you when he realizes someone is staring at him. You quickly give Brock a peck on the lips before excusing yourself.

You've got to find your conniving older brother.

You find him surrounded by diplomats with Pepper standing proudly by his side. She notices the way your lips are set in a firm line and knows what's wrong. She couldn't believe it herself when she saw Steve Rogers' name on the invite list. Tony knew there was still some tension between the two of you. It had been a messy break up and neither of you got the closure you needed. Even a year later. . .you still seemed scarred.

Pepper couldn't help but feel like this was one of Tony's plans.

You greet her with a kiss to her cheek and ask to speak to Tony alone. He gives you a look - one that screams "GUILTY" in bright red, fluorescent letters.

"What the hell is Steve doing here?" You hiss. "You didn't tell me you invited him!"

"I'm sorry, I thought I was at my engagement party. I didn't realize I had to run the guest list by you?" He looks down at you, a smug smile on his face. "Don't you think it's time you two made up? It's been a year, Y/N."

"Yes, it has, and I am engaged!"

He waves his hands dismissively. His gaze shifts over to your fiancé, who hasn't moved from the bar since he got there. Brock was one of Tony's least favorite people, and he knew you were just using him as a rebound. You had been with Steve for five years before calling it off. When you threw yourself into a relationship just a month later, he knew something was up. You clearly weren't over Steve.

And now you were engaged to the same man you were rebounding with? After half a year? It absolutely baffled Tony.

He scrunches his nose in disgust and brings his attention back to you, which makes you roll your eyes.

"Must you always reek of disappointment and judgement when you look at us?" You huff.

Tony nods. "I can't pretend to like someone, it's not in our Stark DNA. I'm not sure how you've managed to do it for so long already."

You know what he's implying, and it sparks an irritation in you. You don't bother to argue. Part of you knows he's not entirely wrong. If anyone knows you better than yourself, it's Tony, but you'd never admit that out loud.

You storm back to Brock. You're aware of his eyes on you. He's standing next to Natasha Romanoff, one of Tony's colleagues. They seem to be engaged in a serious conversation, but his attention never strays from you. It makes you even more frustrated.

Damn him! Damn Tony! They were clearly in this together.

When you make it to the bar, you grab Brock by the front of his shirt and kiss him until you're both breathless. You pull back a bit to see the lustful look he's giving you, and your stomach drops. You feel nothing. Nothing! The logical part of you tries to reason that it was only because you were tipsy, and Tony put doubt in your mind. In the morning, you'd wake up and feel everything you were supposed to feel for your fiancé.

Hopefully.

"What was that for?" He asks. His tongue darts out and wets his bottom lip. It's supposed to be sexy, but it makes you feel nothing but empty.

You give him a sly smile. "Just felt like planting one on you. Is that so wrong?"

I can't pretend to like someone, it's not in our Stark DNA. I'm not sure how you've managed to do it for so long already.

Brock shamelessly slips his hands down to your ass and gives it a playful squeeze. He grazes his lips over your ear and whispers about finding a closet somewhere. You agree, and as you slip away, you know Steve is watching you the entire time.

----------

You and Brock return to the ballroom separately to make sure no one catches on to what just occurred. He's already situated back in his spot at the bar when you finally get the courage to return.

His cheeks are flushed, and you know he's feeling proud of himself right now. He thinks it's the best quickie you've ever had. But you? You're feeling completely unsatisfied. The more you think about it, the more you realize that you haven't orgasmed in a year. A year!

You hate it because you know that you wouldn't have realized it if Steve hadn't strolled back into your life looking the way he did. Between his piercing blue eyes that never left your form and the beard he's apparently let grow this entire time, you're going crazy. It's not fair to Brock, and you know it. You just couldn't help but compare everything he did in that broom closet to Steve.

You sigh and try to spot him again, but he's disappeared. You try to ignore the disappointment that's bubbling inside of you. Did he leave already? It felt like he had just gotten there.

Someone taps you on the shoulder, and you turn around slowly in hopes of catching a glimpse at your ex again. When you finally make eye contact with the stranger, your heart stops.

Of course, it's Steve.

"Care to dance?" He holds his hand out for you, and he notices right away the apprehension in your eyes. "I promise I won't bite."

You nod and take his hand, ignoring the way your heart hammers in your chest as you do. He leads you straight to the middle of the dancefloor, and you almost scream when Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran starts playing over the speakers. It couldn't have been a coincidence your old song with Steve would play now; you made a mental note to kick your brother's ass later for this.

Your chests are pressed together intimately as he holds your hand in his. You place your free hand on his shoulder blade, and he moves his down to the small of your back. But he doesn't just place his hand where it needs to be. That would be too quick for him. He lets his fingertips trail down your exposed spine, forcing goosebumps to rise wherever he touches, before placing his palm on the spot where the fabric of your dress meets your skin.

You curse at yourself for wearing a backless dress in this moment.

"You're engaged," he observes.

"Yes."

He smirks. "How long were you with him before you two got engaged?"

"That's none of your business, Steve."

"Tony said six months."

You clench your jaw, and he loves the cute way your nose flares in annoyance. "If you knew, why did you ask?"

"Cause I knew you'd get defensive," he quips."

You're beyond frustrated. Whatever game he and your brother are playing, you refuse to feed into it. He wasn't allowed to march back into your life and turn it upside down. It wasn't fair. He was the one that didn't want to take the next step in your relationship after five years. He was the one that drove you to another man - one who did want to get married. For so long, all you wanted was Steve and only Steve. Now that he couldn't have you, he realized his mistakes. It's how it always worked with men like him.

"At least he wants to marry me," you reply after a moment of silence. "The idea of marriage had you running for the hills!"

Steve looks at you like you have two heads. "I'm sorry, what? That's not how that went at all."

"Yes, it is! I remember the whole conversation. I asked if you ever thought about getting married, and you said you hadn't."

"I said I hadn't before I met you. But, of course, princess Stark didn't listen long enough to hear that part. You heard 'no' and stormed off!" You two have stopped dancing by now, and you're oblivious to the stares you're getting. "By the morning, you were gone! No note. No indication as to where you were. And you blocked my number."

You open your mouth to speak, but Steve's already talking again and refusing to let you get a word in.

"It's typical Y/N Stark of you to do that. You let your anger get the best of you, and you throw away five years of our relationship over a misunderstanding! So, don't you dare play the victim in this. This," he gestures between you two, "Didn't end because of me."

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, willing yourself not to cry in front of everyone. They've had a front row seat to your dramatic love life already, and you won't give them anything else to talk about.

"I can't do this right now," you whisper.

The hardness in his eyes disappears when he sees you're on the verge of tears. He tries to stop you, but you're already brushing past him and practically sprinting for the exit. You don't care that Brock saw your exchange. You can't that Tony saw. All you want is to get the hell out of there and get some fresh air. Everyone else be damned.

----------

Steve finds you standing near the fountain in the hotel's small rose garden. There's a slight breeze that chills the night air, and you have your arms wrapped around yourself to keep you warm. He hadn't expected to find you here, but it was the first place he figured to look. It was the closest spot to the building where the ballroom was, and you despised running. You'd prefer to find some place close if it meant you didn't have to anymore.

He slips his suit jacket off and drapes it over your shoulders when he approaches you. You don't bother to fight him on it. You're cold, and you silently relish in the way his cologne fills your nose. It brought you a sense of comfort that you didn't think you were looking for until now.

Neither of you say anything. You simply enjoy each other's presence and listen to the sound of the water rippling through the fountain.

You are sure you look like a mess. Your perfectly pinned hair had fallen loose during your sprint out here, and you could feel the mascara running down your cheeks. For expensive makeup, you expected it to hold out through moments like this. Why else would you spend twenty-five dollars for a small tube? If it can't handle you having a complete meltdown, it's not very good makeup.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes, and his voice sounds so genuine. It's hard to stay mad at him. "I shouldn't have brought all that up now. It wasn't fair to you."

You take a seat on the edge of the fountain, letting your fingers dip into the cool water. You aren't sure how you should respond right now. There are a lot of unresolved feelings lingering between you two, but you know your fiancé is inside patiently waiting for you to return. It wouldn't look good for an engaged woman to confess her undying love for another man.

"I think I was waiting for something to go wrong between us." You swirl your fingers through the water, refusing to look up at Steve, who's already taken a seat next to you. "You were too perfect. Our life together felt more like a dream than reality. I think that scared me, so I found the quickest excuse to leave and took it."

"It's my fault for not realizing that's what you were doing. We were arguing a lot that last week, and Tony had warned me about your bolting signs."

"I'm sorry," you whispered weakly. You spent this year putting all the blame of your failed relationship on Steve, but you had been the problem all along. You ran away from your feelings because you let yourself believe that you didn't deserve someone like him. You let insecurities drive you away.

And you were the one who threw yourself into a new relationship right away. You got engaged to someone else, and you didn't even think about how much that would hurt Steve when the news got back to him. You just knew it would get back to him. He was friends with Tony after all.

You don't realize you're crying again until he reaches out and wipes a tear away from your cheek. The mascara smudges across your skin, but he can't help himself from seeing you as the most beautiful woman in this place. You'd never believe him if he told you, so he keeps that thought to himself for now. He'd try to remind you later.

"You don't have to be sorry. We both let the relationship sink. It's both of our faults."

The fact that he genuinely believes that makes it worse for you. Leave it to Steve freakin' Rogers to be the sweetheart in even the worst circumstances. If your emotions weren't all over the place, you'd probably strangle him for being so kind.

"Do you love him?"

You let out a nervous breath. That was the exact question you didn't want to be asked tonight. You couldn't lie about it anymore.

"No," you replied honestly.

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course, I do."

Steve brings his hand up to your cheek again and forces you to look up at him. He's sitting so close to you, you're not even sure when he moved this close, but you don't move away. You can't erase five years of love. You can't erase every feeling you've ever felt for him, no matter how hard you tried this past year.

You spent your entire relationship with Brock wondering what the hell you were missing, but you knew now: you were missing Steve. No relationship could ever compare to the one you two shared. Maybe if he hadn't come here tonight, you'd be able to make your relationship with Brock work. But he did show up, and now you needed to face reality.

You don't want to be with anyone besides Steve.

His lips are suddenly only a few centimeters from yours. You're intoxicated by the smell of his minty breath as it fans your lips. You want him to kiss you until you're begging for more. You want him to show you just how much he has missed you. You almost let him, too. Almost.

You place your hands on his chest and gently push him away. "We can't yet. I'm still with Brock, and I can't cheat on him. He doesn't deserve it."

He nods. He hates pulling away from you, but he understands why he needs to. You can't pick your relationship back up in this way. It would be bad karma, and you are a firm believer in all that kind of stuff.

"I've got to talk to him, but. . .wait for me?"

Steve lets out a small laugh and shakes his head. "Sweetheart, what do you think I've been doing this whole time?"

Your heart leaps inside of your chest, and you press a kiss to his temple. You couldn't believe you were about to walk back into the party and end your engagement, but out of all the decisions you made this year, this one felt like the right one to make.

It's time to go back home.

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “The Phoenix”. In Audrey’s bedroom she’s explaining what she knows to the vks)

Audrey:...and the last time I saw him he was getting out his violin. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help

Mal: no, thank you Audrey. I um I figured it’d be something like that

Harriet: you don’t wanna be doin that during a crisis

Uma: ahem notaeuphemism, notaeuphemism

Harriet: ohhhh

Harry: tch sounds like one though

Mal: alright. Both of you. Not a peep out of either of you two crackpots for the rest of the millennium

Uma: eh, sounds fair.

Mal: are you doing ok. Chad going crazy, it must be horrible for you

Evie: oh who cares. She’s probably the cause of it

Mal: Evie shut up

Audrey: she’s right. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t left I

Mal: what happened

Audrey: after what happened to you guys on the bridge. We went back to his room. He forbade me to see you guys or be friends with you any more. I tried to leave and then he grabbed my wrist and tried to get me to stay

Mal: I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna rip him apart limb from limb

Audrey: I read him the riot act. And I left. It’s my fault. If I’d stayed I could’ve stopped him

Mal: if you stayed. Then we’d be fighting you right now. And it not your fault. Chad’s problems are Chad’s problems. Not yours or anyone else’s

Jay: oh my god

Mal: what?

Jay: he wants her

Mal: huh?

Jay: he wants to be king. And he never forgave you for Ben dumping Audrey because she was being a swot to you. He’s like an equally pathetic and creepy version of harry. Psychotically devoted to who he thinks is the perfect woman

Mal: holy shit

Evie: well then we know hey we have to do.

Mal: no

Evie (blatantly ignoring her sister): we give her to chad. They both burn to death. We’re home free

Uma: I can’t believe I’m saying this but it could work

Mal: no it couldn’t. Because. A. Chad’s power mad. B. Even it could work then we’d still have a homicidal dark fairy on our hands.

Uma: shit you’re right. Ah well only one thing to do

Hadie: what’s that?

Uma: rifle through her shit while she’s in a depressive episode

(She starts doing just that. Pulling out books from shelves, tearing down clothes from the wardrobe, until she finds something of interest)

Audrey: um excuse me. That’s my diary

Uma: I know. That’s why I’m reading it.

Audrey: yeah but it’s really old. From a time in my life I’m not exactly proud of so if

Uma (reading and ignoring her please): “Eighth of March. They’re here. Poor Benny boo is too nice to see it but I know the truth. They want my throne. That little purple skidmark, the magic mop head, Mouthoff and that spindly freckle faced...” Woah, and you still wanna protect her after all this?

Evie: she’s Mal’s friend. Not ours. And even then. It’s only because Mal feels guilty

Uma (rifling through the pages): lets see now it’s gotta be somewhere here. Oh yeah. “Eighth of April. I can’t believe it. He dumped me. All because I was reading that stuck up little handbag the riot act. She’s got to have used a love potion because there’s no way in hell Ben would dump me for sowing one so poor and ugly. At least I’ve got chad as a fallback. That little witch has gotten too comfortable. It might be time to shake things up as it were”. So how’d ya do it?

Mal: do what?

Uma: trap lil beasty boy. Cause there’s no way in hell he jumped you willingly

Mal: why the fuck would I spell Ben? Who the fuck do you think I am? You?

Harry: what’s that supposed mean?

Jay: it means you hypnotised Ben before the cotillion last year. Or have you forgotten about that?

Harry: cut me some slack alright? Sometimes I can’t remember what happened yesterday. Which for me in fact it was actually. See as I lost a year of me life

Carlos: oh boo fricking hoo dickbrain

Uma: oh look there’s more. “Tenth of June. I’m an idiot. A pink frilly stupid idiot. I was completely wrong about Mal and the others. She saved my life. I tried to kill her and she saved my life. How could I be so stupid. They had no choice but they chose to save me when they could have let me burn. I have to make things right. It’s the only way”. Damn Ophelia. When do you jump into the lake?

Audrey: it’s um ahem that’s the last diary entry. I didn’t feel like making another one.

Uma: then you wouldn’t mind if it do this

(She frisbees the dusty into the empty fireplace and sets it alight. Audrey runs up to stop her but is held fast by the hook sisters)

Audrey: please, please. They’re my mother’s diaries. It was a for my fourteen birtday

Uma: oh yeah? Well do you know what I got for my fourteenth birthday? A triple unpaid shift at the restaurant where I work for a roof over my head.

Mal: Uma! Leave her alone

Jay: yeah she’s ignorant. She doesn’t know what it’s like over there. And she can’t be held accountable for what Adam did

Uma: you all can (she grabs Audrey by the throat) now. What do you suggest we do with her highness?

Cj: how about we make sure her incessant prattling is stopped forever more?

Harry: ooh good choice.

Harriet: but how do we silence her?

Uma: hmmmmm...OOH! I know. Harry your pocket watch please

(He hands her the watch and she throws it into the mirror above the mantlepiece through which it disappears)

Uma: see ya feckers

Mal: NO WAIT NO!

(Uma freezes the other Vks with magic, chucks Audrey through the mirror, sending her falling through the blackness and teleports her and the hooks to the same place. This is when “this is Halloween” happens. After the song. Carlos blurs for a second and the spell ends)

Carlos: of course. Now what to do first. Hmmmmm. Right! Gil. C’mon buddy. Wakey wakey

(He double taps Gil and the shoulder and the blonde starts moving again)

Gil: owww. We have to save her don’t we?

Carlos: unfortunately. Yes

Gil: shit.

Carlos: tally ho my friend

(They both jump into the mirror and land in a watch)

Gil: where are we?

Carlos: a pocket watch. Your ex’s pocket watch I believe judging by how it’s kaput

Gil: oh yeah. Yah um. James kept smashing it so he stopped asking me to fix it after the fifth time it was thrown at his head

Carlos: that explains so much yet absolves absolutely nothing

Gil: stands to reason

(Audrey’s muffled screams can be heard from their right)

Carlos: this way?

Gil: yep

(They head off in a northern direction and sure enough they’re Audrey. Bound to a clockwork chair. Mouth gaffes with tape. Carlos almost releases her but Uma steps out of the darkness followed by the hooks)

Uma: I wouldn’t do that if I were you

Carlos: really? You wouldn’t do this if you were me? Well if I were you then I wouldn’t kidnap the friend of the future queen

Harry: back off you son of a bitch

Carlos: kill me and we both go down you skinny ass rooster brain

Doug: oh my god they got you too

(Everyone turns around to see Doug standing there looking downright haunted)

Carlos: Doug what are you doing here

Doug: mirrors are connected.

Carlos: right. Wanna help us free Audrey from the grim grinning ghosts?

Doug: eh sure why not. I’ve got nothing better to do until the spells broken.

Gil: yay. The normies are back in business. Shame Lon-Lon isn’t here though

Doug: who calls ya normies?

Gil: you had nightmares. Lots of them

Doug: those ice packs were from you?

Gil: yeah. When people have nightmares they get incredibly heated.

Carlos: this is true. Jay ices his hands when I have nightmares

Harry: hey, dipshit! Are we gonna talk or are we gonna obligate you?

Doug: it’s obliterate dickless. Not obligate

Harry: I don’t care

Audrey: *muffled sounds of protests*

Doug: yeah we’re not on you right now

Carlos: lemme talk to Uma. C’mon captain

(They walk a little way away from the others)

Uma: what?

Carlos: you don’t wanna do this

Uma: oh? Why not?

Carlos: because it interferes with your plans Uma. No matter how many times you say to the contrary. We know you. 9 times out of ten your need to one up and hurt Mal outweigh your desire to help the island. But I’m telling you. Let your altruism win out instead of your sadism. Not killing Audrey might not be fun. Believe. Jay Evie and I have fantasised about it many a time. But right here right now. Your best bet is to let bygones be bygones. Capiche?

Uma: no. Still gonna killer her

Carlos: I thought you’d say that

(This is when “I will not bow” happens. After the song Harry hurls the debris at Carlos who explodes it into to dust)

Carlos: so you really do have magic. I thought Evie siphoned it off?

Doug: it’s the “mother hauling a car off her child” reaction. Uma was in danger and Harry reacted instinctively

Carlos (sarcastically): perfect

Harry: and now, I’m gonna finish what I started in the alleyway

(His eyes glow blood red and he charges at Carlos. Who just peruses a few buttons on his wrist so a force fiend forms in front of him knocking the pirate off course. Harry roars in anger and his hair ignites in blood red flame. Gil punches him in the face and his hair goes out)

Carlos (utterly disgusted): oh. My. God.

(The brown is Harris hair has burned away to black)

Carlos: what the fuck. Is-is that natural or is it the ember?

Harry: you what?

Harriet: your hair. It’s black again.

Harry: no my hairs brown

Cj: no brother dear. Your hair is black. Again. Like it hasn’t been since you asked Uma to lather it in boot polish when you were six

Harry (absolutely traumatised): no! NO IT AINT

Doug: yes. Yes it is.

(He uses the selfie function on his phone camera as a mirror. Harry takes one look and screams in melancholy and assumes the foetal position)

Carlos: what the fuck

Cj (long suffering sigh): you see, my siblings hair is naturally black. Harriet is our fathers favourite. Harry is not. So Harry asked Uma to dye his hat brown when he was six. And hasn’t looked back since.

Carlos: and you

Cj: I’m a natural blonde. I’m Gil’s cousin. His mother’s the middle bimbette. My mother is the youngest bimbette.

Carlos: we would not be out of place in Storybrooke.

Doug and Gil: nope

Carlos: so! Here’s what we’re gonna do. Uma, you and the tweedle twits are gonna come with me back to the home side. Gil, I can count on you to untie miss priss?

Gil (cheerfully): Roger! Doug, you can come back with us

Carlos and Doug: no, absolutely not

Doug: I need need to stay here in the mirror world until my body wakes up. If I go through with you guys I’ll die.

Carlos: your body and mind are safe. You might need to hide. If you stay here. Evie will most certainly kill Audrey

(Audrey screams in protest)

Carlos: oh we all know she’ll blame you. She hates you enough as it is already. And if...fucks sake I can’t take you seriously looking like that (he rips the tape off her mouth ignoring her screams of pain) that’s much better. If she sees Doug in the Moore she will blame you and she will kill you

Audrey (conceding): that’s fair

Carlos: now. Let’s see, how am I going to do this. Oh! I know!

(He uses his exosuit to shove the girls through the mirror, not noticing Harry using his own magic to root Doug to the spot. Gil hoists up both Harry and Audrey and, together with Carlos jumps back to the real world. Once there Carlos makes Uma reverse the spell which she does without complaint)

Uma: you of course realise you are incredibly dangerous to people with that exosuit?

Carlos: That was the idea. Gil could you put Audrey on the bed please

Mal: what happened?

Carlos: oh the usual. Uma let her instincts get in the way of logical thinking.

Mal: of course

Evie: Doug? Doug! Oh my god. Doug wait right there

Carlos: shield Audrey

Mal: what

Carlos: trust me on this mom. This not going to end well

Harry (aside to Uma): watch this

(He uses magic to bring Doug, who’s futilely trying to get away, closer to the glass)

Evie (climbing up on the mantelpiece and tapping on the glass): Doug. Honey I’m here. What..what’s wrong? Why can’t I get through? Let me through. Let me through. Dammit let me through. Let me go to him for fucks sake let me through. (She starts banging on the glass with her fists) LET ME THROUGH. LEMME THROUGH. LET ME GO TO HIM LET ME THROUGH! PLEASE (her eyes start glowing and the mirror starts to crack) LET ME THROUGH LET ME THROUGH! (She starts sobbing). LET ME THROUGH. LET ME GO TO HIM. PLEAE

Carlos: jay get her, now!

(Jay lifts her up by the waist, still screaming and crying, and pulls her away from the mirror. Doings hands remain on the glass where hers were)

Evie (still crying): why can’t I why can’t why can’t I go to him? It should be easy I have magic Uma’s not that much more powerful than me I should be able to get through why can’t I get through? (She stops crying, jay lets her go and her voice evens out) you. You did this. He’s doing this because of you. It’s all YOUR FAULT

(She launches at Audrey intent on scratching the princesses eyes out but Jay and Gil grab her just in time)

Evie: LET ME KILL HER

Mal: no!

Evie: IF SHE DIES HE’LL STOP

Mal: but Maleficent won’t. Do you really want to take that chance?

Evie (extremely reluctantly): n...no

Mal: ok then. Put her down guys. And just where the hell are you going?

Uma (hand on the door handle): I can’t stay here. I. I just can’t. (Harry makes his way to her). And nobody! Nobody. Nobody, follow me

Harriet: you heard her Har. Stay here

(Uma leaves the room. She magically deadbolts and soundproofs the door and then sinks to the floor crying her eyes out. That is until she senses someone approaching her)

Uma (thickly): go away. There’s an attack on this dump. People are dropping like bats. Find a nice soft spot to collapse if you know what’s good for you

Adam: I know there’s an attack on the school dear. I’m part of it you see. Don’t bother getting up. This will be over quickly. I just wanted to tell you that what’s about to happen is entirely deserved.

Uma: you’re him aren’t you? Beast

Adam: THAT’S NOT MY... (he takes a deep breath). That’s not my name. My name is Adam

Uma: yeah don’t care. To us you’re the beast. The bastard boogeyman who damned to the island

Adam: like I said it was deserved

Uma (scoffing): huh! Deserved? Really? You really think what you did to us was deserved? How fucking delusional can you get?

Adam: no more delusional than you thinking that I can be stoppped.

Uma: what did she offer you?

Adam: my kingdom back. And your kind flung back to the scrap heap where you all belong.

Uma: not if I have anything to do about it

Adam (scoffing): what can you do. You’re a child who’s oh so very far from home. And I’m a man with years of experience.

Uma: you’re a crackpot, corrupt politician. And I have magic that you cannot even begin to comprehend

Adam: is that so?

Uma: damn straight. I can tear you apart without even touching you.

Adam: care to put that to the test?

Uma: your move. Five paces?

Adam: of course

(They move to opposite sides of the corridor. This is when “calling all the monsters” happens. After the song Adam slashes off one of her tentacles and she falls to the ground screaming in pain. While all this is going on Harry is desperately trying to open the door)

Hadie: Harry it’s no use. She’s deadbolted it. It won’t be lifted until she chooses to.

Harry: there has to be a way. Use me as a battering ram

Carlos: nobody here wants to touch you

Harry: have you got any right ideas?

Jay: it’s bright ideas. And we don’t want you to be happy so why would we help you

(At the mantlepiece Evie’s got an idea)

Mal: there’s no guarantee that’d work Evie

Evie: I have to do something. I can’t just leave him there. He shouldn’t be alone. Please if blood or, or family mean anything to you then help me make sure he’s not alone.

Mal: I’m doing this for Doug and Doug only. Let’s see here (she flips through the spell book) damn. What you want to do counts as love. Sorry.

Hadie: what’s counts as love

Mal: Evie wants to send part of her consciousness into the mirror to keep Doug company. But her love for him is the driving factor. And Maleficent ripped out and burned the last one hundred pages of the book contains love spells because real feelings need to be there for it to work and according to her I’m not worthy of love.

Cj: she’s a smart lady

(Mal clicks her fingers, CJ’s leg snaps in two and she collapses in pain)

Hadie: restoration spell?

Mal: at the coronation. It didn’t work.

Hadie: May I?

Mal: go ahead.

(Hadie takes the book, flips it and mutters a spell in Ancient Greek. The book glows bright steely grey then returns to normal. He opens the book and the pages are restored)

Evie (pulling him into a bear hug): thank you thank you thank you

Mal: you’re gonna have to do it. The spell is incredibly painful. It says here part of you has to be physically ripped out for it to work. And our friendship is tenuous at best. So it’s best if you do it. Audrey get in the crawl space. Jay shield Gil. Carlos c’mere. The blowback could be dangerous to mortals

Cj: pardon me for asking but what of my siblings and I?

Mal: I don’t care about you

Evie: if this doesn’t work?

Hadie: then Doug will remain asleep until Maleficent is defeated

Evie (voice breaking): then dont fuck it up. Please

Hadie (chuckling sadly): I promise I’ll try not to. Ready

Evie: do it

(He takes the ember, puts it in the middle of her forehead and starts chanting in Ancient Greek. Evie starts to glow bright blue. Then she starts screaming in pain. Blue light shoots out of her hands and face. Harriet gets thrown into the wall followed by Cj. Harry, still trying to wrest the door open, gets thrown into a large Ming vase. Jay, Mal, Carlos, Hadie, Evie and Gil stay standing. Celia remains on the bed. The light stops. Evie nearly collapses but Hadie catches her)

Jay: wow. Is that?

Evie: he’s what I see yeah

(A ghostly version of Doug’s standing in front of them. He’s dressed like a vk. Everything about him from skinn to clothes to eyes is completely blue all over and glowing)

Evie: go through the mirror. Go to Doug. Be whatever he needs you to be. I’ll be fine. Just go to Doug. Now.

(Ghostly Doug turns to smoke and floats through the mirror. His form changes to Evie in her coronation dress. The front of her loosely braided and pinned back. Real Doug looks completely shocked)

Evie: oh! Ohhhh dear. This isn’t what you wanted. Do you want me in jeans? I can wear jeans if you’d prefer. Or is the hair not right. I know! It’s the shoes. Haha. Wrong shoes

(Doug pulls her into a hug which she returns relievedly)

Doug: you look perfect. You always do. But how

Evie: magic. I’m not really her. I’m just part of her consciousness.

Doug: of course.

Evie: do you really like the dress?

Doug: yes. It’s Evie’s favourite so its my favourite

Evie: you’re incredibly sweet did you know that?

Doug: no.

Evie: why not?

Doug: because nobody’s ever said that to me before

Evie: well you are. Sweet brave kind and

Doug: I’m sorry. I tried to protect the twins and I’m sorry. Maleficent got to them. I failed.

Evie: what Maleficent and chad do isn’t your fault.

Doug: I—

Evie: she knows. Trust me. She knows

Doug: it’s really difficult to say

Evie: I know. That’s what makes it important

Doug (chuckling): so uh. What do we do now?

Evie: we wait. We wait until we win.

Doug: and until then.

Evie: we could

Doug: no.

Evie: damn. Worth a try

Doug: always.

Evie: how about a dance. You can practice here and wow Evie later

Doug: sounds good to me

Evie: you lead?

Doug: I’ve offered to let Evie lead but she always insists on letting me lead

Evie: she’s a smart girl

Doug: yes. Yes she is. May I have this dance

Evie: yes sir you may

(This is when “come what may” happens. As this happens Uma’s pained screams undo the soundproofing spell she put on the door alerting everyone else to her predicament)

[girlinthepictureframe]

The Briefest Kiss Part 8

Present Day

“Here's here?” Miles tried to sound nonchalantly, tried to sound as if Alex Turner was just another member of the audience and not the very person who was giving his heart palpitations –  and not the good kind! His hands grew cold and sweaty and he was suddenly fighting the urge to run and hide. His throat dried up. His right hand began fidgeting with his guitar pick. He hadn’t seen Alex or heard from him in three weeks. “Where is he?”

“Audience. He isn't alone,” said one of the sound guys as he and some other stage hands placed the finishing touches on Miles' stage set up. “Got a woman with him.”

“Girlfriend,” supplied Miles absentmindedly from his spot half behind the stage's curtain. These days, Alex hardly went anywhere without her. That much he'd been told by mutual friends. As his eyes drifted across  the people who filled the club, he told himself he wasn't looking for him. But he was. Of course he was. He doubted there would ever be a time when he wouldn't look for him.

The sound guy interrupted Miles' thoughts. “Everything is set up. You're on in five.”

Miles knew. He had a gig to play. People to entertain. A facade to uphold. He made his way back to area where the rest of his band had gathered. All of them were hyped up, ready to rock out, and here he was, wishing he was anywhere but in this very place.

He shook his head. This was ridiculous. He was a fucking grown-up! He had played in front of empty halls. He had been booed and laughed at. He had bloody played in front of an ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. Why was this so goddamn hard? “Somebody play our song,” he called out, forced himself to smile and barreled through. They all fell in line, went ahead and performed their usual pre-show rituals. He joined them all. But his heart wasn't in it. And neither were his nerves.

“Stage is that way,” whispered Victoria as she tugged his arm and pulled him away from the wall against which he hovered, a look of concern in her eyes. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” lied Miles. “All's good. Bit tired, I guess.”

“If you say so.”

One last deep breath and then he went. Big smile, on-point outfit, great band, everything was as it should be. Except, he wasn't as he should be. Three weeks ago, someone had broken his heart and now here he was, or what was left of him, only the remains no longer resembled the original version. The stage was the one place where he had still felt connected to the person he used to be. But tonight, even that last bit of comfort was taken from him.

And even worse, halfway into the show, the bloody asshole responsible for it all had the guts to appear side-stage and wait for an invitation!

There wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Nobody knew that he and Alex had a falling out – if one could even call it that. Nobody knew that Miles got cold chills at the mere idea of sharing a stage with Alex. And nobody, especially not his manager, on whom he blamed Alex's side-stage presence, and who was without a doubt responsible for this shit-show that was about to go down, had even the slightest idea that the insides of Miles' stomach began to churn as his band began playing the first notes of “Standing Next To Me”. That song. Their song.

That very manager now stood next to Alex and motioned for Miles to introduce him. To just play along.

Miles bit the insides of his cheeks, waved a hand at Alex, whose eyes he had yet to meet, and adjusted his guitar. Some audience members had already spotted him, had begun shouting his name. There was no way out of it now. “My brother. Alex Turner.”

Brother.

A laughable description, truly.

Whores would blush over the tales of what he and Alex had done.

But how else to introduce him? The world 'friend' just wouldn't make it past his lips. Lover? Too big. Too meaningful. He couldn't even describe him as a one night stand, since, one, it hadn't lasted an entire night and, two, there had been no staying around afterwards. Which, to say it bluntly, was the most fucked up thing Alex had ever done to him!

From the corner of his eyes, Miles watched Alex wave at the crowd. He smiled, pretended, just as he was doing. Miles could tell because, despite everything, he still knew Alex better than anyone else.

As Miles began to sing, hoping to end this farce as soon as possible, Alex inched closer towards Miles. Not much, merely inches, but it was enough to make him uncomfortable, enough to make him lose focus and instead become angry and restless.

Then Alex fully invaded Miles' personal space.

They had shared mics for years. Had done countless worse things in front of audiences much bigger than this. But having Alex within reaching distance, having him so close that Miles could actually smell him, and feel the heat radiate from his body, was torture at its finest.

“Matt dragged me here,” whispered Alex. Miles heard the hesitation in his voice, the shaky nerves and the shared yearning to be anywhere but here, on this stage, together. But in that moment, Miles cared not a single bit. Alex leaned just a fraction closer. “Can we talk later? Please!”

All Miles could muster was half a nod. Alex was standing too close, he was smelling too good, he was too bloody distracting. Miles forced himself to focus onto the song, tried to pour all of himself into this performance and not get lost in his conflicting thoughts about his temporary co-star. The audience, as expected, was eating all of it up. The energy was all-consuming. Until, at long last, their eyes met. Then Alex became all-consuming. Falling too quickly into their usual habits, Alex placed one arm on Miles’ back, strained to share the mic when Miles made no room for him, and when it was all played and sung, Alex pulled Miles’ head towards him, hugged him, and even had the audacity to kissed his cheek.

Miles wanted to punch him for that.

He wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t punch him for that later. The idea of it was tempting.

“Backstage?” whispered Alex, hopeful, before leaving the stage.

“Fine.”

Half an hour later, Miles sat in his dressing room, fed up about waiting for him to show up. Checking the time once more and not happy with what the face of the watch was telling him, he decided he had waited long enough. He grabbed his guitar and made his way out and towards the stairs. He wanted to be alone, in the cold, to gather and sort his thoughts.

“Miles?”

“Al?” Miles found him sitting on the stairs near the dressing room, a half-smoked cigarette between his fingertips. “I was waiting for you. You’re the one who wanted to talk,” he reminded him, his voice laced with bitterness and long-stewed ire.

Alex nodded in acknowledgement, took a long pull from the cigarette until it was gone and then flipped it to the ground, careless and quickly forgotten. “I’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes, trying to find the right words for what I want to say, but they won’t come to me. It’s as though they’re hiding from me.” He looked up, met Miles’ eyes. “I still haven’t found them.”

Miles leaned back against the wall, tired and exhausted, still holding on to the guitar. He had never cared for the right words. He’d settle for anything that offered even the slightest bit of explanation. He’d even settle for a bloody shouting match, as long as it offered just a single answer to the innumerable questions he had. But, as he watched Alex sitting on the steps, crumbling beneath the weight of his own world, Miles felt a little less of the anger he’d felt before. “You used to sit with me until you found the words. You could have done that tonight.”

“And watch you look at me in disgust? No,” said Alex sadly as he harshly shook his head. “I absolutely could not have done that.”

“It’s not disgust, Al.”

“Hate? Anger? Pain? Regret? Annoyance? Gloom? Melancholy? The list of words at my disposal is endless, Miles. And when I imagine what you might think of me at the moment, not a single kind vocable crosses my mind.”

“Honestly?” Miles shrugged his shoulders, a gesture of helplessness. “I have no idea what I think of you at the moment. You know what would help me figure that out? If I had any idea how you felt. ‘Cause I’m not the one who left in the middle of the night without a word.”

Alex looked away. “That was a really bad thing, I know.” His feet began to tap nervously. “Miles, I feel so lost,” he admitted and stared forlornly at the ceiling. “I feel so incredibly lost. I no longer recognize this world in which I live. Everything I thought I knew about myself no longer applies. I’ve hurt you. I never imaged myself being capable of that.”

In the old days, Miles would have rushed to Alex’s side, would have touched him and comforted him, but in this age, where every day felt like an endless walk across a continuously disintegrating bridge, he no longer dared to make quick moves. Every step was carefully placed. One wrong move and he feared his world would completely crumble apart. So he remained stoic, glued to the wall. “For what it’s worth, I don’t believe you intended to hurt me.”

The ghost of a smile appeared on Alex’s somber, stricken face. “That’s a very kind assumption.” For a while, they just looked at each other, until Alex got up and took a timid step towards Miles. “The sum total of what I’d like to tell you could fill an entire album. Or ten. One day I’ll be able to answer all of your questions and I’ll be able to use all the right words, I promise. But I can’t do it now.” His voice was on the edge of breaking. “I know I'm the one who asked for this conversation. But now that I'm here, I find myself unequipped to be having it. All I can do is apologize for the way I left. And I'm begging you to believe me when I say I never, ever wanted to hurt you. You must believe that part, Miles!”

“Then why did you go,” whispered Miles, trying so hard to keep from reaching out, from touching him. Alex looked so vulnerable and Miles longed to console him. Even now, after everything. But he wasn't sure his heart would survive another set-back.

Alex lifted his hand, aimed to touch Miles' arm, but stopped mid-move. His gaze fell to the floor. His arm fell back to his side. “I want to tell you, Miles. I do, you need to believe me! But I can't. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to express what I want to say. I'm too scared to say it wrong. I fear the wrong word will do more damage. What if the wrong word will cause irreparable harm? But one day I will find the words, I swear!”

“So you just say nothing instead?” His anger returned. “Here's how I felt after finding you gone: Miserable. And lonely. We did a big, bad thing to our friendship that night, Alex. And I needed my best friend to be there with me, cause you're not the only one who is fucking lost!”

“Miles, I tried to stay, I wanted to stay! I really did,” confessed Alex, on the verge of tears. “I couldn't.”

Miles swallowed hard, suppressing the same tears he saw Alex struggling to contain. “So what happens now? I can't pretend this didn't happen! I can't hang out with you and crack jokes when all I really want is for you to fucking talk to me about it!” Their friendship, it occurred to him then, was at an impasse. It shouldn’t come to such a shock to him. They hadn’t spoken in weeks. He’d had no intention of reaching out to him, so if Alex hadn’t shown up tonight, who knows when they would have talked or met again. Yet, his heart was aching more and more with each painful beat and the mere idea of parting ways with Alex for God knew how long was letting his blood run cold. “Is this the end?”

“Until I find my voice,” replied Alex, hoarse and weak.

Miles took a long look at the guy, then at Alex, and then at their surroundings. Here he was, in a dark and lonely hallway, fighting to control his emotions, all but saying farewell to the one person he needed in his life more than anything, and this guy just walked up and told them to pose? He met Alex’s eyes, grabbed his guitar and straightened up, all the while marveling at the farcicality of it. “Isn’t it fucking ridiculous? Our goodbye, captured for eternity?”

“Don't call it goodbye,” begged Alex, giving the photographer the same sad and hollow look that Miles was giving him. “Maybe one day we'll look at this picture and share a laugh,” he said quietly. But he sounded unconvinced. And so felt Miles.

The picture was taken. “Thanks,” said the photographer and vanished back to where he came from.

Some moments passed. “It's goodbye for now, but not forever.” Alex bowed his head slightly.

Miles gripped the neck of his guitar with bruising force. This wasn’t what he wanted. He didn't want to say goodbye. He wanted to hold on to Alex. He wanted him closer, not farther away. But what else was there to do? He did not know. And so he let go. “Goodbye, Alex.” As he watched his friend slowly make his way down the hallway, Miles' heart spoke before his head could stop himself. “You can always call me, anywhere, anytime!”

Alex gave him a stricken smile, a last lingering look, and then he was gone. Miles felt the sharp, splintered pieces of his broken heart tumbling down in his chest. There were times in his life when he had wished to experience a devastating, soul-crushing loss, just to know what it would feel like. Now that he knew, he found it sucked. It sucked fucking badly! l He picked up his guitar, made his way up the stairs and at long last arrived on the rooftop, where he was alone and where it was quiet. A few old lawn chairs were there, a couple of overfilled ashtrays and some litter that people had left behind. Taking a seat on a chair, Miles gazed up into the sky, found the moon staring back at him, and began strumming the notes to one of Alex’s songs.

Oh, the dawn won't stop weighing a tonne

I've done some things that I shouldn't have done

But I haven't stopped loving you once

Would Alex be here with him right now if they hadn’t met in the elevator that fateful night? They had argued that day, had all but ended it then. But, what had that argument been about, really? It all seemed so insignificant now. Miles leaned back and closed his eyes, his fingers still strumming the strings. He’d been mad at Alex for flinching. He’d been mad at him for his lack of answers. He was still mad at him for the same shit!

But Alex had never been good with answers. He was tremendous at arranging words in the most lyrical manner, could compose the most complex ideas and let them sound light and melodic. However, he was a total and complete failure when pressed for a simple answer. On good days, Miles loved that about him, loved watching him struggle during interviews, loved watching journalists get bored waiting for Alex to say a single world while Alex was mentally writing an entire anthology.

On bad days, Miles wanted nothing more than a plain and simple statement. No metaphors, no long, rhythmic sentences, just a yes or a no. For more than two years now there was one burning question on his mind, one he had never dared to ask: “Do you regret that I kissed you?” For the first time ever, Miles spoke the words out loud.

How to live with a question that one would most likely never receive an answer to?

2010

“We’ve been here all night and you haven’t said a single thing to me,” said Miles, taking a seat next to Alex at the bar. “Have I done something to piss you off? I sure feels that way.”

“Nope.” Alex drowned his beer and got up, not meeting Miles’ eyes.

Miles rolled his eyes. “You know what?” He grabbed Alex’s arm and stopped him from walking away. “Next time you lie to me, try harder!”

Alex glared at him, but sat back down while pulling his arm out of Miles’ grasp. “I wasn’t lying. You haven’t done anything. It’s what you haven’t done that’s pissing me off.”

“And what would that be?” Miles demanded to know, completely unaware of what his friend was talking about. One moment they had been fine, the next, Alex had barely looked at him anymore!

“When were you going to tell me that you have feelings for my girlfriend?”

“I do what?” Miles gaped. That accusation came out of nowhere. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I am not. I was talking to your dove yesterday. Found her sitting in the corner, crying her eyes out ‘cause you broke up with her. She told me quite a bit!”

“How about you tell me what she told you, huh? Do it, Al! I have no bloody idea what you’re talking about! I don’t have any feelings for Alexa!”

“Then why are you always hanging out with us?”

It felt as though a ton of bricks had been dropped on him. “I wasn’t aware I was bothering you so much,” said Miles. His shoulders dropped, and he looked away from Alex. “You should have told me I was spending too much time with you. I’ll stay away, then.”

“That’s not what I meant, Miles,” groaned Alex. “You know that’s not what I meant, right?”

“No, Al, I don’t.”

Miles could practically hear Alex role his eyes. “I mean, why would you spend so much time with us — well, not too much, but — fuck! I'm explaining this wrong! She said you had feeling for Alexa! She said you’d rather spend time with my girlfriend than with her!”

“That’s not true!”

“It is, Miles. You’re always with us.”

“So it does bother you?”

“No! Fuck, stop twisting what I say! This isn’t about us. It’s about you and Alexa!”

It was about them, Miles wanted to say. It wasn’t Alexa’s company that he found himself looking for. It was Alex’s. But how to explain that without making a fool of himself, wondered Miles. So he avoided an actual answer. “She and I…we broke up. I didn’t feel as much for her as she did for me and that’s that. But I don’t want anything from your girl, Al! You just have to believe me. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I have been spending too much time with you guys.”

“Bloody stop saying that, Miles! It’s not what I meant!”

“That doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Why don’t I start right now? I’m feeling tired anyway. So, goodnight. See you around, Alex.”

“Miles! Don’t do that, don’t walk out on me. I fear I’ve said it all wrong!”

“I’m not walking out on you. I’m going home. We’re good, Al. Don’t worry about it. Go spend time with your girlfriend and let me get some much needed sleep. Really, Al, we’re fine. Don’t worry!”

“Swear, Miles?”

Miles turned around, faced his friend and forced himself to smile the world’s most reassuring smile. “Yes. I do. Goodnight!”

Present Day

They didn’t speak for a week after that night. And even after that it felt strange for a long time. For months Miles would pay meticulous attention to how often and how long he hung out with Alex. He wouldn't spend a single night over at Alex's, like he'd done so often before. He'd made sure to not be around when Alexa was near. And after Alexa had ended things with Alex, Miles wouldn't talk to her for a long while. It had hurt him, for he and Alexa had become genuine friends and he had ignored her in an attempt to not endanger his friendship with Alex.

Remembering all that, it occurred to him, though, that there were times when Alex had wanted answers and Miles couldn’t supply them. Not because he didn’t have the answers, but because he didn’t know how to say what he wanted to say without saying too much or too little.

More and more of his anger towards Alex began to dissipate and what remained was guilt. Guilt and regret for being as bad with the right words as Alex was. His friend had been right weeks ago – he was a coward. If he had been honest about his feelings, his confusion and all that festering attraction that had slowly poisoned their friendship during the last years, maybe all of this could have been prevented. Whenever Alex got lost in his endeavors to say what he wanted to say in the most precise, perfect manner, Miles got lost in his fears of saying the wrong thing the wrong way. Whenever Alex couldn't say anything, Miles wouldn't say anything.

Miles placed the guitar aside, gave his entire attention to the night's sky. How could he blame Alex for walking out on him, unable to stay, when he himself hadn't said a word to stop him, afraid he'd leave anyway? Yes. He had been awake, had felt the cold fog that had fallen over him the moment Alex had slipped out of his arms. He had deliberately kept his eyes close as Alex had gathered his clothes. He had deliberately remained silent when Alex had vanished out of the room. He'd been as much of a coward as Alex had been.

He should have told him that, Miles knew. But he'd been hurt and confused and, god damnit, he wanted Alex to fucking tell him how he felt before he would admit to his own feelings. But Alex would never do that, would he? He never made the first step. Never had.

Except...

Memories of their night returned. Memories of that moment in the elevator. Memories of Alex, making the first step, giving Miles the choice to say no.

Bloody hell! Why was it all so damn fucked up?

Maybe he needed faith that one day they’d meet again and indeed have the right words for each other. Maybe Alex was right about saying goodbye for now? How could they spend time with each other when an enormous cloud of unresolved problems would continually rain down on them, forever reminding them that they were not okay? Wouldn't that hurt more than not talking at all?

Who was he kidding!

Not speaking with Alex? Deliberately not talking to Alex when all he wanted was to talk and to fix? Miles had no idea how to endure that.

[solastia]

Don’t Talk Back To Me

ONE SHOT

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Word Count: 2,002

Summary: The pet bird that you have overlooking your balcony shit talks me whenever I go out on my own balcony AU

Genre & Warnings: I don’t even know y’all. It’s Jin having yelling matches with a damn parrot. Fluff I guess. Occasional cursing because I have a potty mouth.

Notes: This idea has been floating around in my head since Bon Voyage. Enjoy. Someday I’ll get around to actually making something for Jin that isn’t crack lol. 

Getting his own place was quite possibly the smartest thing Kim Seokjin had ever done. 

His small one bedroom apartment was free of six other grown ass men bothering him for attention and treating him like he was their mother, and he couldn’t be happier. He finally had a place where he could cook what he wanted, decorate how he wanted, watch whatever he wanted. Hell, he could walk around naked and no one could stop him. 

He still had to stay in the dorms when they were really busy, but for now, he was allowed his little sanctuary. He settled into his brand new comfy couch that he didn’t have to kick off anyone to use. He turned on his television and watched some cheesy medical drama without a peep of complaints from anyone. Then he decided to really live it up and discard the use of pants. No pants in his bachelor pad. He really settled in and decided to not do a damn thing for hours.

Until he got the call to go into work. 

He sighed and looked at his discarded pants in disgust. The sooner he finished, the sooner he could come back and enjoy his alone time. 

Jin was furious. He’d bottled it all up at work since he couldn’t really scream at his boss. The company had once again screwed him over. Apparently, he’d received an offer to star in a promising drama, but the company had declined it without even asking him for his opinion. Sure, they were going to be busy during the filming, but other idols took the time to act; why couldn’t he? That’s what he wanted to do in the first place. But no, they’d rather keep him in the back of the BTS line. 

He got home to his new apartment and slammed the door, feeling a tad bit better as it closed with a nice bang. He then kicked off his shoes, smiling to himself as they sailed across the room. Next were the offensive pants being kicked into a corner. Jin stood in all his pantless glory as he surveyed his bachelor kingdom and debated what he needed next. 

A DRINK! 

He stomped to his fridge and pulled out the two bottles of Raspberry Soju that one of the boys had given him as a housewarming present. It was time to drink his troubles away. 

One and a half bottles of Soju later, Jin was feeling horribly hot. He was still angry, but he was fairly certain that heating up when you’re mad was just something that happened in cartoons. Or he would be fairly certain if he wasn’t so wasted. 

He needed to cool off, but he’d hadn’t gotten around to buying a fan yet. The outside air would have to do. Thankfully, it was one in the morning so there wouldn't be anyone around and he wouldn’t have to try to put his damn pants back on. 

He walked to the sliding glass door and opened it, the fresh night air feeling good already. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly as he looked around from his balcony. Luckily the balcony was solid, so even if someone was walking around this time of night, they would simply see his top half and not get freaked out by the drunk, pantsless man. 

He was starting to feel his anger twindle into the more manageable emotion of resignation. He was still upset, but it seemed pointless to be. They’d never let him have his chance. 

He was just getting ready to head back inside and go to bed when he heard a...whistle? 

“Hello? Is someone there?” Jin asked softly, praying that no one would answer. 

“Peek-a-boo,” an eerie voice called out.   

“What the hell?!” Jin shouted, backing closer to his door in fright. 

“Peek-a-boo.” The voice said again. 

“Damn, that’s creepy as hell. Stop that!” Jin yelled, trying to find the person the voice was coming from. It sounded like it was on the balcony next to him, but he didn’t see anything but a blanket covered lump on a table. 

Jin peered at the lump closely. It could be coming from nothing else. Sure enough, the lump started to shake and the blanket slid off. 

It was a damn parrot. 

Jin breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing he needed was his new neighbor meeting him drunk and without pants. 

“YAH! I don’t care who you are. You don’t go around scaring people like that. Go to sleep, bird!” Jin yelled at the parrot as it flapped it’s grey wings as if to show off.

“Nighty Night birb!” It squawked.

“That’s what I said. Go to sleep and leave me alone.” Jin growled, wondering if he was going to have to listen to a parrot freaking out every day now. 

“Don’t do that! Don’t do that!” The parrot was screaming. 

“Don’t do what? I’ll do whatever I damn well please. I’m a man. A human. An incredibly good looking and famous one at that. So YOU don’t do that.” Jin grumbled at the bird who was dancing around looking very unimpressed with him.

“Gimme a kiss.” The parrot shouted. 

“Ah, even the animal kingdom can’t resist a kiss from Kim Seokjin. Here you go.” Jin sent the parrot one of his famous flying kisses with a smirk, laughing at himself and the ludicrous situation. 

“YUCK!” The bird squawked.

“EXCUSE YOU! I’ll have you know that many people beg for those kisses. Yuck, your face! Who asks for kisses from you, beak face?!” Jin began to lean over the right side of his balcony to get a better look at the parrot. Whoever trained this thing forgot to teach it manners. 

Jin gazed at the loud bird as he downed the last half of his bottle of Soju. He took enough shit from the humans around him, he didn’t need to take it from a bird too. 

“Listen, bird, you’re going to have to shut up. I’m going to go to bed now and I don’t want to hear you all night. I’ll file a complaint against your owner if you do.” He mumbled, leaning against the balcony for support as he felt the alcohol start to take over. 

“QUIET YOU CREEP!” The parrot screamed and Jin stared at it in disbelief. 

How dare a bird disrespect him! 

“Shut up!” Jin screeched.

“Fuck you bird!” it yells back.Obviously, it’s used to being yelled at.

“YAH, you damn bird. Don’t talk back to me! How dare you insult me in my own kingdom of no pants! I take too much shit at work to have to deal with you at home too. I want to act, but will they let me? NOOO. Will they let me sing? Here, we’ll give you one song and a couple of lines. I feel like they’re holding me back and it feels horrible. So you! You will not anger me in my own house. I will not take disrespect from something that probably tastes delicious roasted and covered in gravy. You hear me?” Jin yelled at the bird, it’s squawking fading as he blacked out. 

The first thing that Jin felt as he woke up was the pain. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry as the Sahara. All of his bones were cracking as he pushed himself upright. He ran a hand down his face and scraped at his eyes. He opened them gradually and looked around as they adjusted to the light. 

This was not his apartment. 

He took in the various knick-knacks and decor, everything pointing to this being a place where a woman lived. There were high heels at the door, a lovely flower display on the coffee table, even the blanket covering him was pink. Jin lifted it up and groaned in embarrassment when he saw his pantsless self. He was somehow in an apartment that wasn’t his, hungover and pantsless. 

“Hey there, you’re finally awake. Are you feeling OK?” asked a melodious female voice. 

Jin followed the sound to the kitchen, where an incredibly pretty woman was stirring something on the stove. He stared, trying to get his mind working to patch all the clues together. 

“I’m...OK, I guess. Uh, could you tell me where I am?” He asked tentatively, cringing at the thought that he actually got so drunk he’d have to ask that. 

“My place. I’m guessing you’re the one that moved in next door. You...ummm...were banging on my door, and then you couldn’t remember how to get into your apartment so I let you come in. You passed out almost immediately. You’re lucky I was able to drag you onto the couch. You are damn heavy.” She giggled, putting whatever she was making into bowls, and grabbing some water and aspirin. She placed everything in front of him with a sweet smile.

“I was not that drunk,” Jin mumbled, red-faced.

“Sweetie, you introduced yourself as Mario and asked to fight Birdo. I’d say you were pretty drunk.”

"He started it!”

She laughed and handed him a spoon. She’d made him some hangover soup, and it actually smelled amazing. He felt bad making this gorgeous stranger cook and care for him, but it tasted as good as it smelled. He moaned loudly at the taste, blushing when she smiled at him with a pleased expression. 

“I’m...sorry you had to deal with this. I don’t usually drink like that, I promise.” He muttered in between bites. 

“It’s OK. We all have our off days. You can finish your breakfast and borrow that blanket to get home with when you’re ready. I’m Y/N, by the way.” 

“Nice to meet you. Umm, I can’t think of any way not to make this sound rude, but please don’t tell anyone I was here. You didn’t take any pictures or anything right? I’m...fairly well known.” Jin asked softly, trying not to offend her.

“I think I’m gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprise!” She chuckled.

“Leave it to the parrot owner to quote Iago from Aladdin.” Jin laughed, smiling over at the woman as she giggled. 

“I just mean the entire country knows who you are. You think I’d let just any pantsless man into my home? I’m a fan of yours, Mr. Kim Seokjin. Not a crazy one, don’t worry. There have been no pictures or social media updates. Although Mario of Kingdom No Pants would be a great meme.”

Jin groaned and hid his face behind his hands as she laughed. 

“Sorry. I just...I was venting on your bird when I was upset last night. And I guess I drank too much. On the plus side, the venting made me feel better.” 

“Well, I’m glad Ricky made you feel better. I wish I could say he’d be there for all of your venting needs, but I’m just watching him for my Mom. He goes home tomorrow.”She told him regretfully, biting her lip. 

“That’s too bad. It was nice having something to argue with. I don’t know who I’m going to talk to now.” Jin sighs, catching the flap of wings out of the corner of his eye. 

“You can talk to me. I mean, if you wanted to. I’m a good listener, and I know more words than Ricky.” She grins. 

Jin clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck nervously. 

“Well, I do owe you something for taking care of me so well and even cooking me breakfast. How does dinner tonight sound? I’ll even wear pants.” Jin smirked as a deep blush graced her cheeks. 

“I’d like that.” She whispered, and Jin knew he was grinning like a fool.

He got up and headed towards the front door, careful to keep her pink blanket wrapped around him. He turned around when he reached the door and kissed her on the cheek. She slapped a hand over it in surprise as he smiled at her. 

“See you tonight. BYE RICKY!” Jin yelled at he opened the door. 

“GO AWAY! GO AWAY!” 

He might actually miss the squawking jerk.

[ts-hvv4]

EPISODE FIVE: “YOU HEAR THAT NOISE? ITS THE SOUND OF AN UPRISING” - Chris

BARRY MANILOW IS DISGUSTED WITH THIS CHOICE OF CHALLENGE @nicole @owen @monty @andrew

Kage has just been voted out and I have a lot of thoughts in my head when LO AND BEHOLD Ned messages me saying how Jake talked about Armonia sticking together, also wanting Olivia safe, and Andreas/Dennis/me picked off. I dunno if it is true or not but I have to laugh.  Malik and Ned were supposedly on the bottom of the tribe, but I suspect now these two wanna flip and such. Now this is further complicated by me not knowing where Sarah, Matt, Nicklas, and Lukas stand and I fear that if/when we merge, there is intention on getting a person like me out. Nevertheless, I need to do as much talking as I can with people

Ned just came to me telling me, that at Ancient Thera Jake told him, they bamboozled my og tribe and want to stick together and stay "OG Armonia strong" and want Ned to save Olivia... Oh boy. I feel really really good about Ned telling me this, I guess that means that Olivia so far is the person to go, IF we lose the challenge and I somehow need to find out a way to warn the others, even though that could blow up my game come merge aswell. But first off, thank you ned <3

You hear the noise? It's the sound of an uprising! I am so about to start chanting some Les Misérables up in here. Like I can be a pretty calm person but when it comes to adversity, I don't whine and cry about it, I act about it to bring a change for myself and right now I feel I need a change or else I am screwed. So alas, it's time to rally the troops

how did last round even happen LMFAO... so skrt skrt lets rewind ladies! we lose the challenge because certain judges don’t have TASTE. and it was a mess cus we were all sure we would win so we didn’t talk for 3 days LMFAO. i was nervous cus my old tribe was in the minority, but i am close with Nicklas. I kept telling him and the others that i don’t really trust Trent and would gladly vote him out, however Nicklas told me before that there was some mistrust with Kage. So I pushed that to him, saying i would feel better with Kage going now, and that i’d vote trent the next time we lose. He said he would consider it but was very weary. ...then a couple hours later sarah decides she wants Kage out? I was confused, and Sharifa was freaking tf out. Oh also Sharifa told me she has the idol, fun FACT. But near tribal Sarah made a chat of me her nicklas matt sharifa and kurt to discuss a vote. We agreed on Kage, and somehow... he went home LOL. So, I guess I’m feeling a bit more secure. But in terms of the overall game, i am worried because apparently the other tribe thinks i’m inactive (um i give the energy i receive and matt and kage sucked ass at talking to me so i wasn’t going to bother having a dry conversation) so i wonder if people won’t take me seriously in this game ! boo. whatever. anyways i’m at the ancient thera and i better get an idol period 

I’m just a fat little bitch who loves berries

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SINGING A SONGS OF ANGRY MEN? IT IS THE MUSIC OF THE PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN. WITH THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUMS, THERE IS A LIFE ABOUT TO START WHEN TOMORROW COMES!

im so glad we won immunity, i need a damn BREAK. but now i’m nervous that Ned is going to get voted out because he’s basically inactive lmao. but i hope he survives. sarah approached me last night and asked if i found my “Dani” in the game (aka my loyal ride or die) and i said no and she said good because she wants to work with me. she then asks if i’m good with sharifa and kurt and i say yes and she says that she “adores” them. hm idk what to think! i asked who she was close w on her old tribe, and of course she says “i like them all equally :)” -.- if we happen to lose again, i think i would want matt or lukas out the most because i don’t know how much i actually trust them, but i think we might be stuck voting trent if they really want us to pay them back for the kage vote. i just need another tribe swap!!!!!!!!

Too much pressure

Chris found the idol!!!!!! I am so happy for him, and for the trio of me/dennis/chris. I now know where half the idols in this game are ....... this is INCREDIBLE!! Olivia continues to not speak game with me at all, and Keegan isn't much better. Given the new tea that Ned spilled about Olivia and Jake, we are for sure targeting Olivia. The vote should be 3-2-2 right now, with Dennis, Malik, and Ned voting Olivia. Then Chris and I are voting Keegan, with Olivia and Keegan throwing their votes on either Chris or I. With the idol, even if we have any funny business at tribal like votes, etc - then we should be good..... i pray haha

We lost the challenge which is unfortunate but not surprisingly. This tribe is just full of challenge flops. Scrambling for tribal has been... minimal to say the least. DENNIS is saying he’ll vote for anyone as long as he survives the round. CHRIS is saying he hopes tribal lines aren’t still in play but is willing to do what he has to survive. And ANDREAS is just kind of floating there not scrambling too hard. The TINKY CLAN is currently deciding who to vote between ANDREAS and CHRIS since we want DENNIS around for challenges. Ultimately it doesn’t really matter which of the three get votes off as long as they don’t have idols and we manage to make it through unscathed. The McBITCHES still need to reunite. On that note, major props to the OG AMMONIA tribe for getting KAGE voted out.

OLIVIA and I are hatching a plan to maybe have MALIK idoled out of the game. As it turns out, OLIVIA and NED are both getting annoyed with how MALIK is playing the game and don’t really want to continue working with him. And that’s fair. I think MALIK is a great person but as a player. Yikes. He sure is messy. Right now we’re deciding whether we want to tell DENNIS straight up to vote for MALIK, hoping he passes the word to CHRIS and ANDREAS, or if we should hang back and just not really let them in on the current plan to vote out ANDREAS. We could just straight up vote out MALIK but that seems like a bad option at the moment. Might lead to a 3-3 tie next tribal and possibly rocks, which would be terrible.

I am BEYOND tired of Olivia slandering me, talking down on me, and trying to come for me not once but TWICE this game. I knew the Matt thing had to have been true because Chris told me and Chris isn’t a liar, he never lies to me. I didn’t know about Matt, but Olivia apparently confirmed it TO ANDREAS. Seriously, what is this girls issue with me? She’s been at me, saying all this shit about me but acting so nice and cool to me to my face. I felt like I’ve legit done nothing to her, and I’ve even apologized more than once just in case I did anything. But now you wanna come for me. Hopefully tonight this bullshit will end, with it in my favor of you going home, because I am so sick of her and her antics. I’m using this to vent so I don’t blast off at her whether I or her leave this tribal. Gotta be careful sis.

I really hope the core group of five actually have my back. I definitely feel they do, but I’m just so paranoid after the news recently about it. I really am so nervous because no vote has gone the exact way it’s supposed to so far, but I hope that is five are good and we all stay. If an idol takes me out I’ll be so sad. I love those guys! Ned, Dennis, Andreas and Chris! ❤️🔥 Teen Titans!

Today has pretty much been INSANE. I owned having the idol to Andreas/Dennis and hopefully they believe me when I say I just found it, Olivia/Keegan finally lived for Matt and Sarah's warning that they wanted Malik out, and so now, this is hopefully going to be a 3-2-2 vote of all Armonia, which will probably cause confusion with the other tribepeeps hopefully! Meanwhile, Ned/Malik want to work with us, Malik trusts me even more, and tbh I feel so good. It all is beginning to feel like it is coming all together!

[taming-bats]

The party

Hey again! while I'm posting may as well shove this one out there too. These are the Same characters from my last post “Odis” But it focuses on Jive (written in 2nd person POV) while they're at a party with their friend. It's pretty much just a classic “Teens at a Party” short, but I still liked it! so, here you go! 

You thought it was impossible to actually not hear yourself think. But the music is so loud, the bass is vibrating your bones at this point. You could not look more uncomfortable at this party. You’re holding a classic red solo cup of a drink you’re sure was illegal to obtain. Eden brought you here, but you’re still unsure why. She hates parties and other social engagements as much as you do. She’s gotten tipsy now, and looks exhausted, but is laughing to something someone else did, across the room from you. You’ve found your own little corner to hang out in so you don’t bump into anyone who will either literally hang on to you or try to prompt you to drink more or any other behavior a teen would react with while under the influence. Occasional sips is all you can handle, thanks. You sigh, though it’s not like you can hear that either. You want to go home. You watch your best friend having a pretty good time. You’re only picturing how she will feel after the buzz wears off- Oh. There is the reason she wanted to come. The guy she was laughing with.. she now is slumped against him, like she could fall asleep if he wasn’t so intriguing. She has a hand on his chest, he has an arm around her waist, gentlemanly not going anywhere below.

Nate.

Of course. This could be his party for all you know. Your jaw has gone a little slack,  with the sight of him, causing your lips to part. you have to quickly regain the grip on your cup before it falls out your hand. Oh god. You can’t pull your eyes away from the pair, the beautiful, incredible pair. He’s smiling huge, and by the way he’s moving, he’s trying to coax her into dancing with him. It’s clear they’re thinking the other is the only other person in the room, by the way they’re looking at each other. It’s.. almost magical, there are sparks between them you could only read or dream about. And you’ve done a lot of dreaming... You tear your eyes away, uneasily looking into your cup before taking a burning and near disgusting gulp of the drink. You try to become aware of Literally anything else in the room. The song, which was only vibrations of the speakers, now is tuned into your ears

...Oh what a shame that you came here with someone... So while you’re here in my arms, let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young.. Were gonna die young.

Now what? You’re awaiting the alcohol to compromise more of your brain, actually, you’re dreading it. You have no idea what kind of drunk you are. Probably sad.

Wild child, lookin’ good, livin’ hard just like we should,  We don’t care whose watching when we’re tearing it up! We got that magic that nobody could touch.

You blink. You adjust your glasses, yeah they’re still there, your eyesight is just going to shit. You look back at your best friend and her crush. Your best friend and your crush... Your best friend who you have a crush on, and the guy who you both have a crush on. She obviously doesn’t know that you like him, or else she would probably be doing exactly what you are doing now. Trying to pretend you Don’t have a crush on him. Standing back, letting the other take their chances while you give up your own. This is making you sound depressing. And desperate. And probably all boo-hoo I don’t have a significant other. You try not to be like that, you don’t like people like that. You just want your friend to be happy. She has a better chance with him anyway, you don’t know if Nate would even be alright dating someone non-binary... Probably not. He seems cool and all but... He’s probably just an Ally.  

Ugh, why are you getting into this again?  You’ve been over scenarios, comparing them to reality in your head before. You don’t need to again.

I feel your heartbeat to the beat of the drums.

It’s probably just the alcohol, which you have taken more sips of, but you start walking over to the two. Just. don’t do anything stupid. You feel yourself smiling. You place a hand on Eden’s shoulder and have it drop off right after, brushing Nate's hand in the process. “Hey,” you say, trying to be heard over the music. “Gonna introduce me to your new friend?” you smile, a blush staying hidden in the dimmed room.

Eden just smiles at you, blinking slowly, “Jive.. come on, this is Nate.” She explains like she didn’t quite pick up that you were teasing. Nate just laughs a confident and boisterous laugh, though you’re sure he has no clue what either of you just said. The music is loud, and both of you are shorter than him, away from his range of hearing.

“Now you look like a person who will dance with me.” He slurs just a bit, pointing very close to your face. He’s had more to drink than you or Eden, that much is obvious, and a smile never seems to leave his face. Ah, a Happy drunk it is then.

Maybe it’s contagious, cause you smile right back at him. “Yeah..” you giggle a bit, thinking that maybe a buzz isn’t actually so bad. “Yeah, maybe I will dance with you.” Where is this coming from? An excellent question, you wish you knew or cared to know. All you know is Eden lets go of Nate, and he grabs you by the arm, tugging you into a part where more people are dancing.

Looking for some Trouble tonight. Take my hand I’ll show you the Wild side Like it's the last night of our lives- We'll keep dancing till we die.

The loud music is better and tolerable where you’re actually dancing to it. You and Nate dance close to each other to the rhythm before he pulls you closer to his chest. You both laugh and keep moving to the song. You should realize this is only with beer goggles on. The way you’re looking at Nate is not the same way he’s looking at you, as much as you think you could see it in his eyes.

Then he kisses you.

And without a second thought, you kiss him back.

It tastes like the concoction that was in your cup earlier, and his lips are just as soft as you imagined them to be. This has to be beer goggles. You pull away, just as you think your knees are going to give way. Nate gives you that winning smile, and starts grooving to the song again. But you’re just staring at him. God, you want to kiss him again. He takes your hand and spins you, to get you dancing again.

“Hey, we’re even now,” he says, laughing. You give him a look, clearly confused. “I kissed your girlfriend earlier. Now I kissed you, so it’s all good.” that logic wouldn’t make any sense without alcohol involvement. But you honestly wouldn't complain, without just one thing.

“Edens not my girlfriend,” you say, shaking your head. You wish the music would turn down, or you could go somewhere private. Nate looks perfectly comfortable in his movements, right where he is.

“Oh! Haha, well cool! Well, still glad I kissed you. Hey, mind if I ask her out?” there are several things starting to give you a headache and this boy's words happen to be one of them.

You shake your head, meaning to say, no, it’s not a problem. But instead, it comes out, “Mind if I ask you out?” why did you say that? Where did these words appear from?

“Yeah, I’m gonna get another drink!” he yells back, kisses your cheek before leaving to get something from the table of “refreshments.” as you stand there, dumbfounded. You realize he will not remember Any of this tomorrow. Ha! Why is this night happening? You wonder with a smile on your face. This is hilarious and terrible.

You stumble and dodge your way back to Eden, who found herself a nice spot on the floor to try and fall asleep, propped up against a wall. You take your sweater off and lay it over her, sitting next to her. She rolls over to lay her head on your shoulder. How is she even close to sleeping with this noise? “Hey..” you mumbled, kissing her head. She murmurs something back but it’s completely out of it. You smile. This is your best friend in the whole entire world. You’re really happy at that fact. However, you’re also starting to get drowsy yourself. So you stay here on the ground with her. When your eyes are open, they either watch the peaceful Eden or search for the boisterous Nate in the crowd- never a hard task. He’s now on a table, singing to My baby don’t mess around- …

You don’t know what to make of this night.

[percontaion-points]

Daredevil/Punisher Fanfics (10/30/21)

Only Daredevil/Punisher fanfics. New stuff is marked with a [NEW] before it.

Daredevil

Better Natures by etirabys Description: “Work with me here, Frank,” Karen snapped. “Make some sense here. Talk to me. We can’t figure out what our next move is until you explain why you’re so disgusted at the thought of my being attracted to you — an attraction which, by the way, I’ve never let interfere with our work or our friendship —“ “I’m not disgusted,” Frank said in a strained, calm voice. “You have ghastly taste, but I’m not disgusted. No. It’s just the feeling of having carried a torch for miles and miles in the dark and... having the sun come up.” Words: 37,579 Timeline: Post season 2, but it gets pretty AU-y with the zombies and shit... Pairing: Karen/Frank Minor Matt/Elecktra at the end Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic violence and depictions of gore, but I find that it's pretty standard zombie stuff... Frank kills some people, and so does Karen, but it's all in line with the show Graphic sex Mentions of rape

United We Purge by Jenye Description: "Just remember all the good the purge does." -- Evil runs Hell's Kitchen, but one night out of the year that evil is legal. || Kastle Purge!AU Words: 4926 Timeline: It's a Purge AU Pairing: Karen/Frank Rating: Mature Warnings: It's violent and bloody, but I wouldn't say that the violence level is any different than it is on the show. (And if I'd seen the Purge movie, I'd guess that it was the same level of violence, too.)

Songs About Daughters by homesickblues and StellarRequiem Description: She has two entirely different minds about this. Before, she hadn’t even given any thought to having a baby. Maybe when she was younger – dreamier – but when her life picked up in the city, she barely had time to spare a thought towards any of that. Her compass never really pointed in one direction. Not even when Frank, quite literally, bulldozed his way into her life. But now the concept of “future” and “family” glares back at her from the tiny piece of plastic she just peed on, and she can’t help but bury her head in her hands. Because the other mind she has about the scenario is Frank. __ Karen discovers she's pregnant, and it changes nothing, and everything. Words: 18,064 Timeline: Post season 2 Pairing: Karen/Frank Rating: Teen Warnings: There's some violence, but it's pretty tame in comparison to the show. You'll probably cry a bit, but in like... a good way

Fire Meet Gasoline by xenowhore Description: And then, insanely, it was nearing midnight and Karen was standing in Frank Castle’s bathroom looking at herself in the chipped mirror. She was wearing one of his old t-shirts and nothing else (it nearly came down to her knees) her blouse and pantyhose folded neatly on the counter, hair undone and falling in thick waves around her shoulders. She’d have raccoon eyes in the morning, no makeup remover here - soap was too harsh for her sensitive skin - but somehow she didn’t care. She didn’t care that her legs were so startlingly pale, that she didn’t have a toothbrush. These things seemed trivial when she considered that in moments, she’d be sliding between sheets that cradled a killer every night. Words: 9415 Timeline: Post season 2 Pairing: Karen/Frank Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic sex

you're like a commotion, all because of me by whenzombiesattack Description: (You’re dead to me. You’re dead to me. You’re dead to me.) He finally fucked up. Words: 3160 Timeline: Post season 2 Pairing: Frank/Karen Rating: Teen Warnings: Mild violence

It's All Over but the Crying by angel_deux Description: Frank Castle went to sleep in 2077, the day the bombs fell. When he wakes up, his family is gone, and he has to learn to survive in the world that evolved from the ashes. Words: 14,507 Timeline: It's a Fallout AU Pairing: Frank/Karen, minor Frank/Maria Rating: Teen Warnings: There's a lot of violence, and we're with Frank as he watches as some guys kill Maria. Karen also kills some guy, too.

Blood and Bone by Skasis Description: Frank Castle is a boxer at the top of his game. Laconic and anti-social, he has a reputation for being an incredibly-tough interview. Karen Page is a sports reporter trying to prove herself in a male-dominated field. She's done playing games--trying to be the "Cool Girl" who caters to the male fantasy--and now she's on a mission to take no shit. "For a while, the fact that an interview with Castle lasting longer than 5 minutes even existed was big news. Splashed all over the message boards—circulated among boxing and Castle fans alike. The very concept that someone actually got the man to sit down for more than a breath of time and give multiple-sentence answers to a question—it was huge. Massive. It was the only thing Castle fans could talk about. Until three months later, when Frank Castle disappeared. Then that was the news. It was the only news." Words: 96,872 Timeline: Boxer/Sports reporter AU Paring: Frank/Karen Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic sex, it's a little bloody with the boxing and everything, Karen's dad is an a-hole This is really really long

Into the Woods by Skasis Description: Frank is a logger living a life of isolation up in the mountains of Seward, Alaska. Running from his grief, he has retreated so far into himself that he couldn't find his way out if he tried. Karen is an author who has rented the cabin down the way from Frank’s in order to get away and write her next novel in solitude. Having suffered severe writer's block, she's hoping that the quietude of Alaska will help her find her muse. After years of falling apart, the universe has decided that it's time for these two to fall together. "Frank watched her, with her head thrown back, fascinated. It had been a minute since he’d made anyone other than Curtis and David laugh. He was surprised at how easily it was coming to him—how relatively effortless it was to talk to Karen. He supposed, in part, it was because of her profession; he was sure that someone who spent most of their time studying people and writing dialogue would be a great conversationalist. But it also felt like he was dusting off the parts of him that used to be really good at this—the parts of him that were capable of making Maria laugh; were comfortable joking around. The parts that, while creaky and unused, were still there." Words: 84333 Timeline: It's a writer/mountain man AU Pairing: Frank/Karen Rating: Explicit Warnings: Sex, the constant talk of Frank's dead family made me cry

Office Space by Skasis Description: Dr. Frank Castle is a notoriously misanthropic physics professor, and he has the Rate My Professor reviews to prove it. Dr. Karen Page is a young, idealistic journalism professor who sees the humanity in everyone. When the Liberal Arts building floods, they are forced to share an office. He's all order and precision and logic. She’s all chaos and curiosity and emotion. But eventually, that line they drew right down the middle of the office starts to blur. Words: 48845 Timeline: University professors AU Pairing: Karen/Frank Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Sex

I'm in the Ruins Too, I know the Wreckage So Well by theshipsfirstmate Description: A Kastle fic that weaves through the events of Daredevil season 3. Because of COURSE he was there. "Maybe it’s insane, that she thinks of Frank as the angel on her shoulder; but there was already a devil on her other one when they met. " Words: 7806 Timeline: It's season 3 of Daredevil, but where Frank is there the entire time Pairing: Frank/Karen Rating: Mature Warnings: Mild sex, violence but it's mostly just a recap of what happened on the show

breath of ash, bone of dust by qqueenofhades Description: Frank shrugs, almost diffidently, as if to say he’s glad to hear it, and he still isn’t used to anyone welcoming the sight. Maybe there are some, people who are old and ready to rest and who have lived a good life, who sit up and wait for him, on the nights he chooses to venture out of the underworld and take them personally in hand. But as they stand there face to face, him dark and rugged and grim and Karen pink-cheeked, flushed, blossoms trailing from a frozen tree and grass rising from the barren ground, the contrast could not be more striking. Winter and spring, death and life, hell and heaven. Then leaf subsides to leaf, and so Eden sank to grief. Kastle Hades/Persephone AU. Words: 25683 Timeline: It's a Hades/Persephone AU that's semi canon compliant Pairing: Frank/Karen Rating: Mature Warnings: Mild sex, there's two very intense death scenes that might be difficult to read (one is the death of a young pre-teen)

Seasons by CharmingProcrastinator Description: Karen had come back after a week away for a Women in Media conference in Chicago to find that Mrs. Sterner’s name on the mailbox next to hers had been replaced by an “F. Castle”, who evidently moved in while she was away. To her, he was only disembodied grunts and moans. They were bound to bump into each other, eventually. She had no idea how she was gonna manage to act like a normal human being when they did and not make a quip about maybe considering gagging his gaggle of girls, or make some passive aggressive request that he keep it down a bit when others were trying to sleep. Words: 21029 Timeline: It's kind of an AU, I guess? Almost the same but without the superhero nonsense Pairing: Karen/Frank, minor mentions of Elektra/Matt, and Marci/Foggy Rating: Mature Warnings: Talk of sex, but the actual act is glossed over (boo)

carrying by the restlessbrook Description: “Did you know that you’re pregnant?” Or, Karen will go to any lengths to protect her small family. Words: 69,676 Timeline: Post Punisher 2 and Daredevil 3 Pairing: Frank/Karen, minor Foggy/Marci Rating: Mature Warnings: There's the heavy implicaton of sex, but never actually on the page. There's a lot of violence, but it's like on both shows.

The Reporter by Underneath Description: Force Recon missions keep Marines isolated, entrenched for long periods in covert locations. They rarely received visitors, and in Frank’s long experience, the visitors were almost never civilians, let alone gorgeous blondes with mile long legs and sky blue eyes. Frank was trying not to stare. They all were. Well, everyone except Bill, who’s face had just split into a shit-eating grin. Words: 42645 Timeline: Slightly AU Pairing: Frank/Karen Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic sex, violence like on the show

a crooked love in a straight line down by HeartonFire Description: Frank Castle is a newly-divorced History teacher at the local high school. Karen Page is the single mom of a seventeen-year-old honor student on his debate team. Their paths cross too many times for it to be coincidence, and neither of them can deny the attraction they feel. But things can never be that simple, especially when Karen's ex comes back into the picture and threatens to upend the life she's built for herself. Words: 22908 Timeline: Teacher/student's mother AU (lol did you think that I was going to say student/teacher?) Pairing: Frank/Karen Rating: Explicit Warnings: Sex, mentions of Karen's rough background

you were a fire caught by therestlessbrook Description: They’re both hunters - but of a different sort. (Or that daemon AU no one asked for.) Words: 26110 Timeline: Everything is exactly the same, but everybody in this has a sort of soul-bound animal called a daemon Pairing: Frank/Karen Rating: Explicit Warnings: The story goes over things that happened in the show so it's quite violent and bloody. There's also some sex, but it seemed kind of... skimmed over.

1NEW1 Those Who Mourn by UnkindOfRavens Description: He wanted to live in her, bask in her goodness every second of every day, and then maybe he wouldn’t forget what it was to be part of the world. Maybe then he could cobble together enough of himself to feel solid. Maybe he’d remember how to live, then. Words: 2252 Timeline: The tags call it "canon-adjacent" Pairing: Frank/Karen Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Sex

[5hfanfiction]

New Year, Same Queer (Camren One shot)

Camila hates crowds. ­

There are always too many people trudging through her personal space and she gets pushed a lot. (One of the many perks of being small and not wearing heels.)

She doesn’t really recall how she ended up in Times Square to watch the ball drop, but she had a faint recollection of Dinah abandoning her midway through this party (after having forced her to go in the first place).

Honestly, she would rather be a curled into a tight, warm burrito roll and read something than be out here. The Polynesian, however, came home to trash all of the small girl’s plans as she threatened to have a party at their place instead, if Camila didn’t agree to go with her.

(Normally, these kinds of threats seem baseless, like who could invite enough people at hours’ notice to throw a party right?

Camila made the mistake of brushing Dinah off once during spring break and awoke to the sound of drunk strangers doing it in her bed. Right next to her.)

The petite brunette sighed and struggled to remain rooted in her spot, against the tide of people who were constantly trying to push her back. The chilly wind made her shudder and she wound the hoodie around herself even more, straining to focus on the stage, a few rows in front of her, where Mariah Carey was trying to lip-sync to her songs and failing miserably to the point, it made no sense. Just like this fucking year.

Abruptly, she experienced a soft pinch on her butt and whipped around to see a middle-aged, balding man throwing her a disgustingly, smug look and a cocky wink while hurrying away, before Camila had a chance to react.

Not that she would have, no. Camila wasn’t exactly timid but she didn’t want to attract further attention to herself by slapping the man. And with her, there were no gentle slaps. She would have slapped him hard enough that the Times Square Ball wouldn’t have been the only ball dropping. But, people would have turned around and noticed her and she really wanted to make it through the night without having a panic attack.

Instinctively, she leaned forward to create some distance between her and the stench of alcohol, the creep had left behind, and rested her face against a cold, smooth surface. It smelled like leather and strawberries. How peculiar.

“Watch it,” the strawberry-scented leather rasped. Leather can talk? Camila’s brows furrowed in confusion as the surface pulled away from her, causing her klutz self, to lose balance and hurl ahead.

She snapped her eyes shut, waiting for ache of her fall to spread through her torso. Instead, she felt warmth and a very soft cushion, encompass her face.

Is she dead?                                                                                                                              

Her extra, dramatic self was quick to assume the worst had happened. She pictured Dinah’s face struggling between wanting to laugh and cry over the (very) expected nature ­of her death; tripping over her own two feet. At least, it was painless and now she was in a warmer, spongier place. A reflexive sigh of relief escaped her lips and she snuggled further into the softness.

“Er, excuse me?” And just like that, the tepid bliss left her. Perhaps, Jesus had remembered that one time she ate Dinah’s bananas and convinced her the monkeys stole it or when she had that girl bent over her desk, screaming the Lord’s name in vain; both equally valid reasons to be expelled from Heaven. She opened her eyes and promptly frowned.

Of course, the exact same place where she had died would be Hell.

(At this point, even her brain would have face-palmed if it had hands… or a face…)

Or worse

(Finally Canola.)

…Oh no...

She hadn’t fallen down and died (the more the realization kicked in, the more she wished she had), but instead, fallen on top of somebody and snuggled into their…Oh God…

She grimaced and wished with all her heart that the Earth would crack open and devour her.

A cough and a gentle tap on her shoulder, made her wince, quite audibly. She still refused to look up at the person who was wearing a really nice pair of combat boots. They had such a nice, greenish tinge to them overlaying the jet black. She could already tell by the shoes, this person was one of those really cool people, one would stare at from the distance and sigh, wishing they could know them or be friends with them. (Or bone them.)

A soft but firm squeeze on her shoulders made her realize that the person wasn’t going to walk away without an explanation. Drawing in a couple of deep breaths and trying to form coherent words of explanation, she looked up to see the most enchanting green eyes. She had never felt so naked, then in that particular moment, and the shivers that ran down her spine, weren’t because of the cold. She was so consumed with the eyes that she did not register the movement of lips or the gentle shaking of her shoulders.

“I am so gay.” The small brunette blurted out, what was supposed to be an internal monologue. If her face was red before, it would probably looked like a ripe tomato right now. Her body grew exceedingly hot and her tongue formed knots, as she waited for a probable slap or screaming.

And then the unexpected happened.                                                                                      

The sound of loud laughter followed by a little snort, greeted her ears instead. The mystery girl threw her head back and Camila snapped out of her trance. She took in the dark hair, covered with a maroon beanie, with long curls cascading down the shoulders; full lips dissolved into a fit laughter; a black leather jacket fitting perfectly over a plaid dress. It’s like this girl walked out of a movie.

“At least take me out on a date first, before you get to second base,” the raven-haired beauty spoke in an unwaveringly, raspy voice as she let her green eyes trail over the petite girl’s body, quite shamelessly. And Camila felt so incredibly under-dressed, with her plain black hoodie, tattered denim jeans and dirty Converse.

“Huh- buh- I- er-,”she tried to respond but it’s like her brain had departed her body (probably saying “gotta zayn”). Her own warm, brown eyes widened significantly as she fiddled with her fingers, feeling an anxiety attack about to set in.

But then the smirk on the other girl’s face faltered, and her emerald eyes dilated slightly, as she placed her hand on Camila’s shoulder and spoke in a soft voice. “Hey, are you ok?”

Unable to form words, Camila just nodded and began to draw in large gulps of air. The hand rubbed her shoulder tenderly, and usually a stranger doing so would cause her discomfort. This, however, felt really nice, in a manner that she would willingly be rubbed all over by those hands.

(She made a mental to thank the Lords for preventing her from vocalizing those thoughts.)

After a bit, she finally looked up to meet the captivating eyes and sighed. “I am so, so very sorry. I just tripped and…Jesus…and bananas…” Honestly, how does one explain the situation she had gotten herself into? Hey, this creepy guy touched my butt and I moved forward to get away from him and rested against your back. But then I lingered because you kinda smell like strawberries. And then you moved away, so given how clumsy and extra I am, I fell onto your boobs and thought I had died and gone to Heaven, so I snuggled closer. You have really nice boobs btw.

Before either of them could say anything, someone tapped her on the shoulder. “Camila?”  

She turned around and was mortified to see her ex beaming at her. The girl looked gorgeous as ever, with her high ponytail and flawless, sculpted face; nestling against the arm of the guy she had dumped Camila for on the day of her birthday. The guy, on the other hand, looked like a bearded egg; with his jeans hanging so low, you could probably see his ass crack, (Ok maybe, she is a little petty) and he had this expression on his face that screamed he would rather be anywhere else.

“It’s so nice to see you!” Ariana lunged forward and gave her hug while doing those really weird, side to side (heh), cheek-air kisses. She stood still and forced a smile when Ariana pulled back under her boy’s smelly armpits

(Karla Camila Petty Cabello Estrabão).

“Oh my God, I never thought YOU would be out here,” the smaller girl flicked her silky hair with a jerk of the wrist and giggled. “I thought you’d either be third-wheeling with Dinah, making stupid jokes or reading a stupid book.” She rolled her eyes and huffed playfully.

“Uhh,” Camila was dumbfounded. She has never been good with voicing her thoughts. She could have the sassiest of comebacks but every time she would try to say them, her words ended up being a horrendously jumbled and incoherent mess (like that book, Fifty Shades of Romanticizing-Abuse-and-Misogyny-as-Long-as-The-Guy-is-Hot).

“I never got to thank Dinah for inviting Mac to your birthday party.” Her ex beamed at her boyfriend who just shrugged and scratched his head, giving her an egg-hausted (P E T T Y) smile in return. “Never would have met my sugar pumpkin, if it hadn’t been for her.” Ariana continued all the while Camila wished a sword-wielding ninja would just come and run the sword through her heart. That would be less cringey than witnessing this cheese-fest.

“Oh I’m sorry boo,” The light haired girl, fake-gasped and looked at her, pitifully. (Clearly, mistaking Camila’s disgust for jealousy.) “I didn’t mean to make you sad…I mean, you’re the only girl I’ve ever been with… so that’s comforting, yeah?”

The English dictionary lacked the words to describe how much the Cuban hated Dinah Jane Hansen. This wouldn’t be happening right now if she hadn’t forced her to go a party and then abandoned her to suck face with some hot, chocolate bae.

(To be honest, the girl had a killer body. Who wouldn’t forget their 16 year old best friend to make out with someone like that?)  

She should have just gone home instead but that was more than ten blocks away and something had pulled her to this stupid place; where now her single-self was being pitied by her ex and her ex’s boyfriend, Humpty Dumpty. She has never hated being single, more then at this particular moment. God, she really hated Dinah. Not really. But she would kick that Polynesian butt tomorrow for this horrible start to a new year.   

“Hey babe, we’re gonna miss the countdown.”

If the girl hadn’t been standing right next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, Camila would have thought she imagined the words. Or that Macaroni, here, had a really feminine voice. But she titled her head and saw the green eyes, glinting with a hint of mischievousness and understanding.

“Who are you?” Ariana said bitterly, while raising her brow. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, diverted his attention to the new girl and grinned, nodding his head in approval, as he checked her out.

“Oh, I’m Lauren.” The full lips curled into a smile as she gave Camila’s shoulder a light squeeze.

Lauren. The brunette couldn’t help but smile at how the name fit her like a glove.

“Camila’s girlfriend.” With those words, Camila’s breath hitched in her throat and the warmest sensation spread through her stomach, threatening to erupt like wildfire, inside her. She was already in love with the way her name sounded, rolling off of Lauren’s lips. “And you are?”

Hoo boi. The way Lauren said it; the dismissal and boredom in her voice as she looked at Ariana, made the brunette want to grab her by the collars and pull her in for a kiss.

“Ariana. Camila and I used to date till I met sugar pumpkin here. She must have mentioned me, I’m the first girl she ever dated.” The small girl flipped her hair again and pursed her lips, slightly narrowing her eyes at Lauren.

“Hmm, nope. Doesn’t ring a bell.” Lauren shrugged and pressed a soft kiss to the side of Camila’s head before moving away.  “Nice to meet you though, Sabrina.” She said and shook Ariana’s outstretched hand.

Hoooooooo boi. Rainbows were erupting inside Camila’s heart, unicorns galloping, an immodestly dressed Lauren, with a rose between her teeth, sitting on top of a mountain of bananas; the whole shebang.

The hazel eyes narrowed further as she gritted her teeth. “It’s Ariana. An-” she spoke, but was cut off by the sound of the speakers.

“Everyone grab your special someone and get ready. It’s the final ten seconds!” Ariana squeaked and wrapped her arms around Egg McMuffin’s neck, who placed his hands on her butt cheeks and squeezed them. She slipped a side-glance at Camila who sighed, knowing her jest would be up when her ex sees that she didn’t kiss Lauren.

10….9…8…. The brunette turned to walk away, not wanting to be embarrassed publicly, until she sensed fingers, curl around her wrist, gently and tug her back.

She fell straight into Lauren’s embrace, who secured her hands around Camila’s midriff and smiled.

What

7… Camila’s breath became erratic as she felt the intense emerald gaze piercing her soul. And no, she was not being extra.

6…Lauren drew a little closer and placed one hand on Camila’s cheek, brushing the side of her cheekbone.

5…Camila felt like she would faint when Lauren’s eyes fell to her lips.

4…Lauren ran her tongue, very slowly, over her lips. Camila thought it was rather deliberate.

3…Camila, finally wrapped her arms around Lauren’s neck.

2…Lauren moved her face closer and Camila joined in midway.

1…Lauren bumped her nose slightly with Camila’s and said, “Nice to meet you, Camz.” And any tension Camila felt, evaporated into nothingness.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

She barely heard the announcement or the screaming, as the supple lips were placed against hers. It was tender and yet firm enough for her to lean even closer into Lauren’s body, who tightened her own grasp around the brunette’s waist. Camila’s fingers curled through the dark hair, lightly scratching the scalp; an action that caused Lauren to open her mouth a little further and run her tongue over Camila’s bottom lip who responded a little to enthusiastically.

If Lauren hadn’t pulled away, she would have kissed her for an hour without moving. But the taller girl disconnected their lips without moving away, and Camila never thought she’d ever miss kissing somebody. The incredibly sappiness of the situation disgusted her and warmed her heart at the same time.

“At least take me out on a date, before you move to second base,” Camila whispered, resting her forehead against Laurens’, whose lips twisted into a playful smirk as her own words were being tossed back at her.

“I think kissing is first base. Snuggling into someone’s boobs though…” She grinned and the brunette winced a little, at the memory.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry I just…” Once again, the brown eyes widened and the words became chaotic in her mind.

“Jesus and bananas? I know.” The taller girl laughed and Camila forgot to breathe for a minute. “Perfectly valid reasons.” She nodded and gently tugged at her beanie, smiling earnestly.

It was now or never.

 “So about that date…you wouldn’t maybe wanna… you know like…um, you can say no if you want to, it’s no ob-” Camila tried, she really tried to be confident and her start was pretty smooth, but her brain was a little bitch and tends to desert her every single time she tries to flirt. It’s a wonder she even managed to get with Ariana. (Probably because Dinah talked her up and she wasn’t as bad with her hands as she was with her words.)

“I’d love to, Camz.” The green-eyed girl smiled brightly and placed her hand over Camila’s, who entwined their fingers; the nickname making her smile, giddily.

How disgustingly adorable are they.

“Thank God, I thought we’d have to hit all the bases before you agreed to go out with me.”

It was such a terrible joke. Really bad. Ally would have rolled her eyes and Dinah would have punched her but Lauren, once again, threw her head back and let out a hearty laugh. And somewhere, deep down, Camila knew she had fallen for that laugh.

With hands linked, they walked away and Camila made a mental note to thank Dinah for dragging her outside and leaving her.

A/N: AYE I AM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY PUT SOMETHING UP!! I hope you guys like it. Please be gentle, I am new to the writing world.

IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER PROMPT REQUESTS PLEASE LEMME KNOW ON MY TUMBLR “adolescent-writer”

Also I love reading comments, they motivate me to write more <3 P.S. I LOVE ARIANA AND MAC THIS WAS ALL FICTIONAL AYE. 

[ultralifehackerguru-blog]

New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/golden-globes-2018-15-things-know-oprahs-speech-james-francos-weird-win/

Golden Globes 2018: 15 things to know, from Oprah’s speech to James Franco’s weird win

It was a night of passionate speeches, weird wins and lots of commentary about the current culture of Hollywood. Here are 15 things you need to know about Sunday night’s Golden Globe Awards.

1. Seth Meyers’s monologue

The NBC late-night star had a challenging role as host, balancing comedy with the horrific sexual harassment allegations that have been pouring out of Hollywood. So he went after everyone and everything, from Harvey Weinstein (“Don’t worry, he’ll be back in 20 years when he becomes the first person ever booed during the In Memoriam”) to Woody Allen (“When I first heard about a film where a naive young woman falls in love with a disgusting sea monster, I thought, ‘Oh, man, not another Woody Allen movie’”).

2. Oprah Winfrey’s speech

The talk show queen and business mogul won the Cecil B. DeMille Award — essentially a lifetime achievement prize — and delivered a truly stirring address to the audience. (It immediately kicked off some “Oprah for president” memes.)

“A new day is on the horizon,” she said. “And when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men, are fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say ‘me too’ again.”

3. Natalie Portman’s introduction

Ron Howard and Portman had the unenviable task of following Oprah’s stirring speech as they announced the best director category. Portman didn’t back down from the challenge.

“Here are the all-male nominees,” she said, before they read the names. Indeed, all five nominees were men (Guillermo del Toro won for “The Shape of Water”) — but it still earned some gasps from the crowd.

Natalie Portman and Ron Howard speak onstage during the Golden Globes. (Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal/Getty Images)

4. The mere presence of Oprah

Oprah had the best seat in the house — the chair at the center table in the front of the room — and some winners became a bit frazzled during their acceptance speeches as she was directly in their line of sight.

“Oprah!” Sterling K. Brown (“This Is Us”) boomed at the top of his speech.

“Thank you to Ken and my entire team, to Carol — hi, Oprah,” said Rachel Brosnahan (“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”), interrupting herself.

Rachel Brosnahan accepts the award for best actress in a comedy series or musical for her role in “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” (Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP)

5. Sterling K. Brown’s speech

Brown has spent a lot of time on award-show stages in the last year, thanks to his emotional role on “This Is Us” as a man bonding with his biological father and for his incredible portrayal of prosecutor Chris Darden on “The People v. O.J. Simpson.” As he picked up the trophy for best actor in a TV drama, he proved he’s one of the most inspiring speakers in the game, as he got personal once again:

“Throughout the majority of my career, I’ve benefited from colorblind casting, which means, you know what, ‘Hey, let’s throw a brother in this role, right?’ . . . then [‘This Is Us’ creator] Dan Fogelman, you wrote a role for a black man. Like, that could only be played by a black man,” Brown said. “And so what I appreciate so much about this thing is that I’ve been seen for who I am and being appreciated for who I am. And it makes it that much more difficult to dismiss me or dismiss anybody who looks like me.”

Sterling K. Brown in the press room. (Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

6. James Franco invited Tommy Wiseau onstage, then shoved him out of the way

“The Disaster Artist’s” Franco won best actor in a comedy for playing noted weirdo filmmaker Wiseau, the brains behind “The Room,” a film known for being “the best worst movie ever.” When Wiseau arrived onstage, he attempted to take the microphone — but Franco cut him off. Sadly, we’ll never know the strangeness that could have taken place.

7. Nicole Kidman’s speech

Similar to the Emmys, Kidman raised awareness of domestic violence when she accepted her prize for best actress in a limited series or TV movie for HBO’s “Big Little Lies.” Her character, a lawyer-turned-housewife, is in an abusive relationship with her husband, played by Alexander Skarsgard.

“This character that I played represents something that is the center of our conversation right now: abuse. I do believe, and I hope, we can elicit change through the stories we tell and the way we tell them. Let’s keep the conversation alive,” she said.

Nicole Kidman accepts the award for best performance by an actress in a limited series or TV movie. (Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal/Getty Images)

8. Allison Janney wore a parrot

In “I, Tonya,” Janney plays LaVona Golden, Tonya Harding’s abusive, chain-smoking mother who has a bird on her shoulder for much of the film. When she arrived to present a clip of “I, Tonya,” nominated for best drama, Janney channeled her character.

9. Kelly Clarkson and Keith Urban sang

The music stars were a bit too excited to be on stage and decided to sing before they announced the winner for best original song. “And the Golden Globe goes to . . .,” they warbled.

“We’ve now officially sung on the Golden Globes!” Clarkson exclaimed.

10. Roseanne Barr and John Goodman reunited

The “Roseanne” co-stars arrived together on the Globes stage to plug the imminent reboot of the hit 1990s sitcom and present the award for best TV drama series.

“I’m known for creating some great drama,” Barr announced.

“Yeah,” Goodman acknowledged. “Not the kind you get awards for.”

Roseanne Barr and John Goodman, presenters at the 75th Golden Globe Awards. (Paul Drinkwater/NBC/Reuters)

11. Wage-gap jokes

While much of the evening focused on the “Me Too” movement and Time’s Up initiative to prevent harassment, there were a few jokes about the notable Hollywood gender wage gap.

“I’m so happy to announce that the winner of this category will also receive the 23 percent of her salary that went missing in the wage gap,” Jessica Chastain said, before announcing the best actress in a motion picture, musical or comedy. “It’s not a problem as we saved so much money kicking people out of Hollywood this year.”

“Thelma & Louise” stars Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis presented the trophy for best actor in a motion picture, drama, and also made some jokes.

“These five nominees have agreed to give half of their salary back so the women can make more than them,” Davis said.

Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon. (Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal/Getty Images)

12. Frances McDormand’s weirdly bleeped speech

The censors got pretty nervous when McDormand accepted the trophy for best actress in a motion picture, drama, for her role in “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.” She started to thank Fox Searchlight — and was bleeped. (People on Twitter mused if someone thought she said a different word that started with the letter “f.”) Then she said a modified version of a curse word, and the censor cut off her next sentence. Then, the censor kicked into gear once more when McDormand said the phrase “tectonic shift.” No clue about that one.

Frances McDormand. (Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP)

13. Barbra Streisand’s speech

Streisand arrived to present the last award of the night (best motion picture, drama) to “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.” Before she announced the winner, she had some things to say.

“I’m very proud to stand in a room with people who speak out against gender inequality, sexual harassment and the pettiness that has poisoned our politics,” she said. “And I’m proud that our industry faced with uncomfortable truths has vowed to change the way we do business. Truth is powerful. And in a really good film, we recognize the truth about ourselves, about others, and it’s so powerful that it can even change people’s minds, touch people’s hearts and ultimately even change society itself.”

14. “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” won best comedy and comedy actress

The Globes voters love to pick a relatively new show that makes the TV viewing audience go “huh?” Sure enough, this year the honor went to Amazon’s “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” about a housewife in the late 1950s who turns to stand-up comedy after she splits with her husband. It won best TV comedy and its star, Rachel Brosnahan, won best actress in a TV comedy. (Disclosure: Amazon founder Jeffrey P. Bezos also owns The Washington Post.)

From left, Marin Hinkle, Michael Zegen, Rachel Brosnahan, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Daniel Palladino and Tony Shalhoub of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” (Frederic J. Brown/AFP/Getty Images)

15. Laura Dern’s speech

In a night of inspirational speeches, Laura Dern’s also stood out as she won best supporting actress in a limited series or TV movie for “Big Little Lies.”

“Many of us were taught not to tattle. It was a culture of silencing and that was normalized. I urge all of us to not only support survivors and bystanders who are brave enough to tell their truth, but to promote restorative justice,” she said. “May we also please protect and employ them. May we teach our children that speaking out without the fear of retribution is our culture’s new North Star.”

(C)