#Disableism

[enbycrip]

Pretty much no impairment is as simple as abled people think it is.

People are taught to believe that disability is a simple “Can’t”. Can’t walk. Can’t talk. Can’t hear. Can’t see. An ability is just excised and no longer exists, if it ever did.

In reality, it’s rarely that simple.

It’s “I can sort of do x thing sometimes, but I get muscle spasms making it very dangerous or impossible to do it reliably or safely”. Or “I can do x thing but it causes me so much pain I will be unable to do anything else for hours or days after doing it”. Or “I can do x thing but I constantly injure myself doing it because of lack of muscle control”. Or “I can do x thing but so badly I functionally can’t do it two inches beyond my face, but now I have a mobile phone I can put up to my face so I can do it in certain very specific circumstances”.

None of these things mean someone isn’t disabled. And if you think it does, then it’s *your* ideas about disability that need to change.

The reason disabled people end up saying “can’t” when the reality is more complex is because people don’t trust our boundaries. They force us to injure ourselves instead of accommodating, or use energy that means we have none left to do *anything* else we need to do for the rest of the day. Or week. Or month.

Abled people need to start trusting disabled people, or you need to shut up, get out of any situation where you have power over us, and provide someone who will. Those are the only options.

The way we are expected to live in a performative hell of the making of more privileged people who then turn around and criticise us for not suffering in the precise way they have decided we should is genuinely nothing but ridiculous.

Just stop.

[orange-orchard-system]

On this first day of Disability Pride Month, I would like to give a shout-out to all the trans folk out there who cannot pass/transition/express their gender or have difficulty passing/transitioning/expressing themselves due to their disabilities or other conditions.

Those who get degendered and are seen as just "disabled" instead of a person with a gender. Those who cannot medically transition due to medical complications or disableism or lack of funds due to being unable to work and/or having to spend their money on things like health appointments and accomodations. Those who can't participate in certain methods of gender expression due to their disability. Those who get misgendered and kept from transition due to people saying they "can't think for themselves" because they're disabled. Those who cannot safely express themselves because they're already a target as a disabled person. Those who have to closet and misgender themselves just to get basic healthcare and accomodations. Those who cannot complete certain transition steps because it means health insurance would cut them off from the coverage they need, or they wouldn't be able to find a place where they can get the care they need. And every other hiccup or barrier someone can face with transition, passing, or other gender expression due to being disabled.

I see you, you are important, and you are still trans. Your struggles are real and I hope life gets easier for you. Hang in there.

[queer-crip-grows]

It is incredibly difficult to hear so many people in the environmental movement continually lionise trains as the answer to all transport needs.

Being a full time mobility aid user with chronic fatigue and sensory overload makes use of public transport nightmarish.

If *real* efforts were made to make every train and every station fully wheelchair-accessible, *without* having to rely on unreliable or downright abusive station staff to put ramps up and, down, it would be a fantastic *start*. On good days, I *might* be able to use it for certain kinds of journeys.

However, it still wouldn’t solve the issues with sensory overload, or the problems getting to train stations from my home due to severe chronic pain and chronic fatigue.

If overdo it when I’m out, I *crash*. I cannot expend all my resources getting places. I then cannot do anything when I am there, and am unable to get home safely.

This is not that uncommon a problem. My issues are due to hEDS, POTS and autism, but they are incredibly common symptoms of Long COVID and ME/CFS resulting from Long COVID. So, unsurprisingly, folk with these needs are becoming increasingly common as Covid continues to rampage through the population. *Some of us need transportation we have control over*, and we need environmentally sustainable options to do this.

While expanding the public rail network, making it completely affordable (or, realistically, free) and making it fully accessible for wheelchair and other mobility aid users, children travelling alone from about age 8, elderly people with limited eyesight and hearing and parents travelling with infants would be an *incredible* start and massively increase usage of public transport, there are those of us who will always need at least part-time access to vehicles which can come to our homes and that *we* have control over, that are just as affordable as public transport, and the environmental movement needs to acknowledge this, plan for it, and stop treating it as selfishness, laziness and all the other “fun” terms disabled folk face constantly just for trying to live, especially outside our homes.

This is going to be even more the case if you want us to be able to work outside our homes and if you continue to be resistant to providing fully remote jobs that pay a living wage.

[aroallo-culture-is]

aroallo and low empathy culture is having to explain that no, im not going to kill your entire family just because i can't feel love or feel others' emotions

.

[hobiesdump]

this is just not ok

[pluralprompts]

Prompt #2,128

Character A is in the process of getting diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. It's not finalized, but it's looking incredibly likely, and there's not much left to do on their end. When they talk about this process with a friend, they discover that Character B is also in the process of getting diagnosed, but it's been a longer journey for them than for Character A, as most of their doctors don't believe it even exists.

[daniemililly]

It's not that medical professionals are evil or something, it's that they're not equipped to judge the lives of disabled people because they largely have no experience comparable to it. They can't empathise because medical culture is fundamentally different than disabled lives, and in the cases of neurodivergent people, they largely can't empathise as neurotypicals with us. We need a culture of care/support that trusts disabled people/those we nominate to be the judge of our own needs

You can read more about the "triple empathy problem" for neurodivergent people in healthcare settings in this paper here: https://sussex.figshare.com/articles/journal_contribution/Barriers_to_healthcare_and_a_triple_empathy_problem_may_lead_to_adverse_outcomes_for_autistic_adults_a_qualitative_study/24424333

[a-queer-crip-writes]

CWs for pregnancy loss, eugenics, disableism, medical trauma

Poetrytober day five

“Oh, you must be Catholic,” they said

When I told them there was no chance I’d be aborting a disabled foetus.

They did not even exist yet

And they never really did; it turned out

They were only a ghost of cells and hopes

And hurt and desperate longing

Of both of us

concentrated in a place that only cramped and bled and bled

And could not cradle and keep them as I,

As we

So desperately wanted

Washed away on a blood-tide into

The oblivion of never-being.

And yet even in that state of desperate longing that

Could never conjure into full being

I had to defend their right to be

From even the chance.

[kimbureh]

say what you want, but to me Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame is so fascinating particularly *because* the socially isolated and disabled main character doesn't get the girl.

Yeah, all the conventionally attractive male Disney heros get to have a girl as a prize, but Quasi-modo gets something far more valuable that truely can be *his* in the first place:

He gets a life of his own.

He gets the freedom to go outside, grow, learn who he is as a person in a social context. He gets to meet *himself*, learn who he is when he's not imprisoned and tortured by Frollo.

Getting the girl wouldn't fix Quasi-modo, even if he wants that to be true at first. What he really needs is to seize his own life, and not rely on other people to give him salvation- which is the trap Frollo fell into when he saw the source of his damnation solely in Esmeralda, and saw himself as the sole source of salvation for her.

Critics have often said that it was an awkward scene when after the finale Quasi-modo joins the hands of Phoebus and Esmeralda to give them his blessings. And I guess you can feel that way if you see Esmeralda as the *prize* which rightfully *belongs* to the main character no matter who he is. And I don't care if Disney wrote it the way they did out of ableism/disableism, I think it's a compelling and sound ending for Quasi-Modo to embark on a journey of self-development. That's a thing many other male Disney heros would profit from too, haha.

[annunnaki7]

ARE DISSABLED PEOPLE LAZY? COULD REALLY DO BETTER IF THEY TRIED HARDER? This is an example of an average bad week, like 6/10 bad on mental health and 5/10 on the physical level. Oh yea it gets so much worst! Read this and tell me how I could have improved.  

MAY 2023 

Sat 29.04.23 

-Asthma bad all night. I coughed myself awake so often I didn't get any deep sleep. 

-Fibromyalgia not happy about this, and is flaring up on its way to STOPPING FLARING up instead! 🤬 Joy! So now going to pee has extra general pain added to it. 

- Allergies & Sinus bad. My nose runs non stop. Used 1/2 roll of toilet paper blowing my nose just today. And no, I don't like waisting things. Throwing meds at it. 

-Managed to work with my carer, sorting paperwork. I can't help with much else anymore. I don't have the hand strength to cut a carrot. That's annoying as taking away from my autonomy. 

Sun 30.04.23

- Allergies & Sinus still bad with non stop daily headaches, with migraine sometimes.

-Fibromyralgia flare. Pain feels like I feel down badement cement stairs or  when I had major surgery on day 3 with 5 days hospital stay. I'm in too much pain to eat. Exhaustion worst than Covid & Pneumonia! 

-Asthma bad. I have to rest for 1 minute every 10-15 meters I walk. Going to the loo takes 5 breaks.

- Urinary incontinence dissability related not happy about so many breaks to get TO the loo. I need buy more trousers! (I used 3 in one day twice this week)

- I'm in so much exhaustion & pain I can't even face watching TV. Strong painkillers increased. I'm not happy. I was hoping to decrease them this week! 

Mon 01.05.23 

-Migraine. 

-Sinus inflamed for past 4 weeks. Related to but not only cause of migraine. I'm a migraine sufferer.

-Fibromyalgia medium flare. Hands hurt as well as eveywere else. A plate is heavy to lift. I can't stab potatoes to zap them in microwave by myself. 

-Hayfever slightly improving.

-If I didn't have a carer coming to help me with a wash, I don't know how I would cope.She helped more today. She's so nice. People don't appreciate them enough.

-Concerned how I'll make hospital appointment of Thursday. And got builders in tomorrow. 

Tuesday 02.05.23

-Migraine at night. 

-All body pain bad. Been worst before though. 

-Builders poped in to say they'll be back tomorrow. And no neither owner nor estate agents told them about all the work needing doing. 

- This is in fact my comparativly, the "best day" to date. I can't sit in a chair re pain. And I have a high pain threshold. Had major surgery and got up by myself the next day when everyone else did on the 3rd day with help. Nurses said it was shocking to see me trot - carefully -  about.

- Hospital appointment of tomorrow changed for latter on. It's not a vital one. 

-District Nurse popped in to assess if I need to worry re swealing in legs. I'll have to go to the specialist clinic after all. 

-Blood Pressure still high & Pulse going nuts. Say hi to all types of allergies as a possible cause! I take the strongest anti histamin, plus 6 over the counter allergy tablets daily. Yep, the specialist doctors advised that. It stop skin for literally falling off and other horror stories! 

Wed 03.05.23 

-Vomited blood all night (5hrs of hurling on off) from ulcer, blood clots included! Yuck! 3rd time in 1 month.

-Day Migraine following as haven't been able to drink much 

-Im past normal exhausted as part of Fibromyalgia. It feels like I did a 14hr shift and haven't slep the next 2 nights. (Yes, I've done that in the past. Joy of nursing & midwifery whilst having dissabilities)

- Spoke to GP, meds increased. I don't want another endoscopy. Don't see what else it will tell us. It's costly to the NHS, I'm going to be in so much pain for at least 2 weeks after due to dissability, not the test. Urinary incontinence will be a pain. I'm not even for resuscitation (DNR) anyways. 

-Not hungry. Disordered eating means it will kick in if I can't eat at all today. Gods even cake don't sound appealing!

- Builders back. Same thing, back tomorrow instead. But now they got the list of job. 

-District Nurse decided I need compression stockings! My severe eczema might not like the extra heat in summer! & Scratchy material.

-Migraine afternoon - nightime.

-Did eat eventually. Yea me! 

Thursday 04.05.23

-Food helped with migraine & dissorted eating. 

- Pain and extreme exhaustion same. I can't hold a plate of food.

- Severe anxiety started in afternoon after flat owner demanding I get the garden clean that night. Message was passed to me by builder at around 4.40pm. to be done by tomorrow morning. Oh yea, I'm dissabled with poor balance, walks some 15-20 meter with 2 stick, uses wheelchair otherwise. And it would get dark even if I miraculously find someone for, ... work that's not urgent! And oh yes, there's no place to eat at the kitchen table due to building work. Like that's not a priority after builders leave rather than garden. Also. Thunder and rain so bad, I though thunder had struck nearby. 

-Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) few times last night (originates from past child abuse) but attacks due to the way the flat owner and estates agent treats me.

Friday 05.05.23

-Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) exacerbated since around 2am started with the stress.

- Headaches back

- Severe anxiety rising progressively

- C-PTSD flash back early morning. Good thing I know how to manage it.

- I ate with carer, yea! Well she made me eat. 

Saturday 06.05.23

-Anxiety still high

-C-PTSD same high during day, not typical of abuse. Definitely flat owner & Estates Agent related.

Sunday 07.05.23

- Actively managing the mental health side of things. 

- Bad Heaches day time 

- Friend brought me yummy KFC. Could only eat a tiny bit. Oh great, that's Dissordered Eating not happy with all the stress!

- Migrainy headach lasted 2-3 hrs. Resolved with management.

-Asthma attack in evening for over 2hrs. Was so rough couldn't do lung capacity measurement until finally calmed down. 

- I won't be able to finish my KFC now. I'm pissed off. I'm so tired of juggling several deseases. It wouldn't be so bad of people acted like human being. 

So. Do you still think I'm leisurely lying around having a relaxing time as a dissabled person?

Did you realise that it takes managing one thing after another everyday? 

So everyone can do better of they "really wanted"? I really wanted to not loose my mortgage and dog. It's my dog I missed the most, not even one of my things. From a Midwife I became homeless. From working 16hrs or work followed by Union Rep work (IE talking to staff, not official meetings before you quote the law) I'm now not able to eat independently at times, or wash alone now. I'm still acting?  Have a good, lazy life? You want to swap? 

[serious-cutie]

“life was perfect as a kid” okay we get it you didn’t grow up disabled

[enbycrip]

ID: a tweet by mythical @mitskileaks

“I used to rebel by destroying myself, but realized that's awfully convenient to the world.for some of us our best revolt is self-preservation,”

[orange-orchard-system]

When dealing with casual disableism and misuse of serious terms I like to employ a technique I call Hate Mail Does Not Exist. The name comes from when I was first writing fanfiction and didn't realize people were leaving hate comments so I would casually respond to the haters as I would any other commenter

It goes like this: you take whatever they say as if it's completely serious. As if they said and meant whatever it was with complete understanding and kindness of the disability, disorder, or condition they were mocking. You act as though you're both on the same page of supporting whoever/whatever they were insulting, and give them blank stares and non-comprehending responses whenever they try to twist the conversation back towards cruelty. Your goal here is to be the everyday, mild-mannered, and polite neighbor from down the hall, who doesn't know all of what's going on but never passes up an opportunity to be kind, and thus impress upon them that they are the ones acting out of line here. They are the ones going out of their way to be unreasonable and rude. These people often don't even realize the impact of their "jokes", so it's on you to act as though they're not jokes at all, and make them realize just how serious these things can be.

They call someone psychotic as an insult? You ask if they have any delusions you should be aware of so you can avoid accidentally making them worse. They describe an activity or place as "so lame"? You react with mild confusion as to how an activity or place could have a mobility disability. They laugh at someone's facial difference? You give them a blank look and absolutely no indication that there is anything worth pointing out about that person's appearance as you ask what they find funny.

The best usage of this technique comes from relating their disableism to someone you know. Don't drop names, don't give out information that could identify this person – hell, make up a person if you want. But people get real uncomfortable if they try to insult someone by calling them disabled/disordered and you respond by telling them that someone you know and care about has that disability/disorder. Gives them a real "oh shit I've been trash talking actual people" moment.

Doesn't work on all folks. Sometimes, they'll turn the disableism on you and your "apparent stupidity". But it often works for me with the folks that have just not put that much thought into the meaning behind what they say.

[enbycrip]

Yup.

This narrative has been used to harm victims of bullying, and most particularly neurodivergent kids, and further isolate and bully them, while continuing to excuse actual school shooters, who tend to be violently misogynist fascists.

someone: hi

me: did you know the narrative that school shooters in the US are all bullying victims is false and originates from inaccurate coverage of one of the most infamous school shootings, the columbine shooting? in reality the columbine shooters were reactionaries who isolated themselves deliberately and followed an ideology that positioned them "above" the rest. so, a lot of school shooters are actually ideologically motivated rather than revenge motivated. no one knows this and the media paints these murderers as victims. do you want to know what the columbine effect is? also I have a lot to say about "stranger danger" as a conservative fear campaign to promote the isolated nuclear family

[hobiesdump]

What's extra killing me is that it's ALREADY TYPED IN THE SCREENPLAY

@darksidescorner