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crocwork-clockodile · 8 months ago

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Don't Look Back

This is a creative writing piece I did for a class this semester. I'm pleased with it, and with my other two pieces, so I thought I'd post them here! Here's The Tale of Sir Gylbard and Chosen's Choice.

Dividers by @plum98

They’ve never bitten us before, Eurydice thought distantly as she took stock of the grand, dark hall she found herself in. Not in our own forest. Not when we’re dancing. She blamed that fool “folk hero” Aristaeus. If he hadn’t crashed the party, she and her sisters would not have had to run, and then she wouldn’t have spooked that viper.

Thinking back on the moment, first there was fear, then pain, worse than she’d ever felt before, then quiet. All the while, she thought of Orpheus, her love. Wishing he could save her, wishing to see him, begging whatever gods might hear her to keep him safe. Then Lord Hermes, looking harried but sympathetic, was ushering her down to the ferry (“Don’t worry, hon, extenuating circumstances, you ride free. Extended family discount”) and before she really understood what was happening, here she stood, before Lord Hades. She had never seen him before, but he couldn’t be anyone else. Holding his scepter, he sat upon a dark stone throne in a great hall. He was imposing, sombre, but his eyes were not unkind. He briefly welcomed her to this new home and passed her off again to an attendant spirit. She barely had time to acknowledge the famed beast Cerberus standing patiently at the gates she had entered through. He seemed like a sweet fellow, and Orpheus always liked dogs –

“Though your timing is sad, Miss, I do think you’ll come to like it here,” her guide said. Eurydice walked in step with them through hazy, dark corridors, keeping her eyes forward. This couldn’t be real, she thought, I haven’t had a chance to be a wife yet. A single tear trailed down her cheek. By the grace of the gods, her guide didn’t let on if they noticed. She had to wait for a moment alone before she could let herself cry properly. Her guide spoke up again, valiantly attempting to fill the silence. “You’re a Nymph, yes? How fortunate! That means you’ve got a place in Elysium! It’s lovely there, even this time of year.” When Eurydice didn’t respond, their guide paused again, piping up after a moment, “You know, since the Lady’s Topside, things tend to get a bit dreary down here, but it’s not so bad where you’re going. It did, at the beginning, but you’d never believe the complaints we got! I mean, I guess the divinities would be used to a certain standard of living, but you’d think we’d personally insulted Diomedes’ mother when the temperature fell a little below – oh! Here we are!”

Before them was the most beautiful plain Eurydice had ever seen. The boughs of nearly every tree were heavy with fruit, the grass grew ankle-high and was softer than any she’d ever felt beneath her bare feet. Above her appeared to be a sky, but was too hazy and bright to be the same sky she had lived under before. The air felt pleasantly cool on her arms and face, and a breeze tugged playfully at her hair. It was nothing like her home before with Lord Pan and the other Nymphs, nothing like the home she had just started to build with her love. Perhaps one day she could learn to love this place, but now all she could think of was everything she had left behind.

“Thank you,” she said to her guide, her voice trembling and eyes blurring with tears. “This is perfect. I get to stay here?”

“You do, Miss. And it’ll only get better, since the Lady’s due back any day now. You’re free to wander around here as you please, but if you’d prefer to set up a little corner of your own, there should be a nice house for you.” As if summoned by their voice, Eurydice noticed for the first time a modest stone cottage nestled comfortably under the largest pomegranate tree she had ever seen.

“Thank you,” she said again. Taking this as their cue to leave, her guide bowed to her, assuring that if she needed anything, just to ask and someone would be happy to help her out. Eurydice walked slowly to the cottage. It was everything she could do not to rush in to hide and cry herself sick. She had only just become a wife, only just started building a life and a home with the only person she could ever want to do that with. Would she have to start again? How long would she have to wait for her love? She scolded herself for wishing he were here, she would never want anything for him but a long, fruitful life. But how long would she have to wait for him? What if he moved on, married someone else once the grieving was done? Would he even still want her when he finally arrived in Elysium? Settling down on a chair in her new home – too soft, too deep, how could she possibly think of comfort now? – she became dimly aware of the dull roar of water from outside. The ocean? A river? It was comforting to hear, anyway. Birdsong gave a melody to its deep undertone, and as she finally allowed herself to cry, the only thought she had was Orpheus is going to love it when he gets here.

~*~*~

Time was difficult to track down here, but eventually Eurydice met some of the other residents of Elysium. They were generally friendly, though of course, an unaccompanied woman had little to talk about with people like Hector or Patroclus. That didn’t bother her too badly, but she did notice that she was starting to feel lonely. She wondered often how her Orpheus and sisters were faring ‘Topside,’ as the residents called the world of the living. She knew Orpheus would love to meet some of these people, especially Lord Hypnos, who was so dear to his mother and aunts, the Muses. It was purely a stroke of luck when one day, while out exploring, she stumbled upon a party of very serious-looking ladies out for a stroll.

There were six of them. Their clothes flowed in a phantom breeze, and there was an air of authority about them. The three women on the outside of the group looked around vigilantly, as though guarding the three in the centre. They held themselves with the confidence that Eurydice had only ever seen in warriors. These were not just ladies, she realized, but Ladies.

“Hello,” Eurydice called to them, excited to meet some new women in this place. They stopped at once and fixed her with looks that varied from inquisitive to “knife-like.” Under their scrutiny, Eurydice nearly balked. She tossed away the remains of the pomegranate she had been eating and prayed she didn’t have seeds or juice on her face. I don’t want to be alone here. I need to make friends if it’s the last thing I do here. Mustering her courage and reinforcing her friendliest smile, she approached the party and spoke up again, “I’m Eurydice, a Nymph. I… arrived here a short time ago. May I ask who you Ladies are? I don’t believe we’ve met.”

The three guarded ones, standing close together, moved in unison: a slow smile slid across their faces, sharp, approving. They appeared to be mirror images of one another, or perhaps the same woman at different stages of life. Each had midnight hair, fair skin, and a curious silver crown of crescent moons. Then, as one, they spoke:

“Greetings, Lady Eurydice. I am Lady Hecate. These,” the women gestured together to the others in the party, “are known as the Furies. It is true that we have not met many of the women who reside in this part of Lord Hades and Lady Persephone’s domain. We would happily welcome you for our evening meal tonight, so we might get to know each other better.”

This was better than Eurydice had even dared hope for. She eagerly accepted the Ladies’ offer, and over time (how much had passed since her arrival in Elysium?) she developed a routine. Sometimes she and the Furies would visit Lady Hecate for a meal, sometimes they would come to her. She still thought of her Orpheus often, but as time flowed vaguely on, she felt less lonely and unhappy to be apart from him. After all, it was temporary, right? He would join her eventually, and in the meantime, maybe establishing a new home here in Elysium wouldn’t be so hard. She wouldn’t be lonely with her new friends, and the beautiful landscape of the divine afterlife was starting to grow on her. The fruits here were delicious.

~*~*~

It was not to last, however. Eventually, she heard a rumor from a spirit who worked in Lord Hades’ palace that a man had entered his Hall begging for an audience with the Lord and Lady of the Underworld. “And I heard,” the spirit said, leaning in more urgently, “he’s still alive.”

Still alive? Impossible. Nobody could do that, how would anyone have even gotten here from Topside by themselves? And how could they have gotten past the ever-vigilant guardian dog? It was probably just a slow day in the palace; the spirits had to entertain themselves somehow. Deciding it wasn’t worth dwelling on much more, except to tell her friends the next time they shared a meal, Eurydice moved along. She hummed a tune that Orpheus had once composed for her as she picked pomegranates from her tree.

LADY EURIDICE.

She screamed, dropping her pomegranates. Where had that voice come from?

YOUR PRESENCE IS REQUESTED IN THE HALL OF LORD HADES AND LADY PERSEPHONE.

What? But she had never been summoned to the Hall before, had never been inside since her arrival, which felt like years ago now. What could possibly be wrong? Unless –

Orpheus is here.

He’d joined her! He was finally here! Of course, it was terribly sad that he’d died, but now he was here, and as a son of Lord Apollo he was obviously going to join her in Elysium, and she could introduce him to everyone, and…

Her mind buzzed with all the things they could do now that her beloved was here. The songs he could write! The people she could introduce him to! The fun they would have, now that they could finally be together forever! Again, she seemed to float as she made her way through the metaphysical haze to the Lord and Lady’s Hall. And when she finally got there, her heart skipped a beat.

There he was, her beloved. Just as beautiful as she –

Wait. Not quite as beautiful as she remembered. His eyes were bloodshot and dark, his face ruddy, as if from crying. His frame appeared to sag, as though under the weight of Atlas’ burden. And… why did he look so strange?

The inhabitants of the Underworld looked much like they did Topside, but there was a subtle lightness to them, a fuzziness to their edges. Orpheus looked… too hard, too solid for this place. That rumor… could it be?

As though hearing her enter, Orpheus’ head whipped to find Eurydice. When his eyes fell on her, it was as though the heartiest feast had been laid before a starving man. He moved to approach her, but the voice of Lord Hades stopped him.

“Hold it, pup. You may have won over my wife and the Ladies of my domain, but you still need to abide by some rules.” It was now that Eurydice noticed the Hall’s other occupants. Lady Persephone sat beside her husband, trying to compose herself behind a handkerchief. She had been crying. Across the room, she saw her friends, the Furies, weeping into each other’s shoulders. Orpheus barely tore his gaze away from her to acknowledge Lord Hades again, then turned back.

“You may not touch her here, pup,” Lord Hades’ voice was clear over the sound of weeping. Even Eurydice felt hot tears blur her vision, and blinked them away furiously, refusing to let anything obscure the sight of her longed-for love. “I will let you bring her home, but get a good look at her now. After you leave this Hall, until you both reach the threshold of the world above, you may not look at her. She is to walk behind you until you exit. If you should fail, and turn to look, she will return to her place in Elysium forever more. You get no second chances, boy. Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” Orpheus said, and despite being slightly raspy from singing and sobbing, that single syllable was still the most perfect sound Eurydice had heard since before she died. “I’m here, Eury,” he rasped, “I’m here, and I’m gonna bring you home now. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Home? But Elysium had everything they needed. It was so wonderful there, Orphe, she knew he was going to love it there, and they would still be together forever – Eurydice tried to say something, but found she had no voice. She could only nod.

“The dead may not speak to the living,” Lady Persephone said apologetically. “Follow him, dearheart.”

“Thank you, gracious Lord and Lady.” Orpheus bowed deeply to the gods and grasped his lyre to his chest. With one last look at Eurydice, he turned and walked out of the Hall. Bowing uneasily to Lord Hades and Lady Persephone, Eurydice followed silently. Curiously, her footsteps made no sound, either. Had they been like this when she arrived here? Nevertheless, she pushed forward.

Why was she so uneasy? Wasn’t this what she wanted? To be reunited with her beloved? But this felt wrong. She would have to endure winter Topside. There were snakes and wolves and storms Topside. If only he could understand that it only got better, that she was happy down there, and if he’d been a little patient, he could’ve been happy with her too.

Well. Perhaps this was the best way to do it. Now she had something to look forward to returning to. And be Orpheus’ wife Topside, like she was supposed to be. Best not to look back, just keep going forward. This was a new leg of her journey.

Don’t look back, that was the key.

Don’t look back.

“Eurydice? You’re still there, right?”

Don’t look back.

“Lord Hades wouldn’t have lied to me, right? You followed me?”

Yes, I’m here, and I’ll travel any road with you, my love. Our adventure’s just beginning.

“Eurydice, I can’t hear your steps…”

Don’t look back.

Orpheus, don’t look back!

“Eury? Are you there? I can see the exit.”

I can see it too, Orphe! We’re so close!

“Eury, please let me know you’re back there…”

I’m here! Don’t look back! Keep going forward!

~*~*~

He would join her, one day. Later, much later, Orpheus would make his way back to Lord Hades’ Hall the conventional way. And his Lady Eurydice, having returned to the home she had worked to build in Elysium, was eager to finally welcome him.

Thank you for reading! Please feel free to let me know if you like this story, and reblog, if you like! Please don't repost, though, I worked very hard on this piece.

I'm submitting this and the next few pieces of creative writing I'm posting to my creative writing prof as part of my portfolio, but I thought it'd be a shame not to share the stories I was so proud of with anyone else. <3

#my writing #eurydice #orpheus and eurydice #myth retelling #creative writing

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xxx-cat-xxx · 1 year ago

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One in 14 000 605 futures translates to a 0.000007% success rate. That number is downright abysmal: it’s smaller than the birth rate of conjoined twins, the chance of being selected as a Rhodes Scholar, and the survival rate of named characters in Titus Andronicus.

So shut up and take your miracle. You don’t remember any different. You don’t remember in how many other futures he lived a long and happy life. Don’t remember in how many more his life was frazzled and short. The one where he drank it away and you had to drag him bodily to his own best friend’s funeral. Or where he sequestered himself away and built and built and built until Rogers pulled you aside and set you against him because he hadn’t yet constructed any defences against magic. Where he volunteered for a suicide run and you shoved a scalpel into his abdomen because he’d had seven years to grind you down. Where you told him the truth years too late for it to matter and watched that thing inside him hanging by a thread snap loose forever.

You save him over and over and over again because you can’t let him die. Not yet. You tell yourself you’re saving him for later but old habits die hard and later never comes. You took an oath when you were twenty-five and hide behind it every day. The truth is you are a selfish man, you can't bring yourself to watch him die.

This is how you fail the universe: you refuse to fail a friend.

Rec of the Day: Conversations at Yorick's Graveside by Diomedes

Author’s summary: Two days after the funeral Stephen starts hallucinating a dead man.

(aka when you thought you’ve read every mind-boggling, traumatising, gut-wrenching, beautiful fic about tony stark and then you stumble across a new author with 9 of those)

#fic rec #this is amazing writing #also kind of sad #a ghost story #musings about death

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audaciiaearchive · 1 year ago

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“ Odysseus. ” Diomedes was in the middle of shedding his armor as the man passed by his tent. He flagged Odysseus down, approaching him while reaching inside the collar collar of his tunic under the armor. “ We saw one on our way back from the raid. It's not quite the same as what you would have in Ithaca. It was smaller and not as dark. But we got it. ” He pulled a string out and over his head. At the end of it hung something white and about a thumb's length long. A wild boar's tusk. Diomedes pressed it into his companion's hand. “ Never let things lie, right? ”

Odysseus will never complain about Diomedes wanting his attention, and really, he didn't have anything better to do, so he walks over to his companion with a grin, a curious look in his eyes. "Good to see you back in one piece, Diomedes...what's that?"

He blinks, looking down at the tusk when Diomedes' presses it into his hand. It gives him pause, then his grin only widens, and he laughs, clapping a hand on Diomedes' shoulder. "Oh, did you give it the ol' one two for me? I'm flattered." He holds the tusk up, examining it for a moment before he ties it around his neck. "Thank you, Diomedes. I will treasure it for as long as I live."

#eripeteia #;Odysseus #HHGHGHGHGHG TH E Y

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audaciiaearchive · 1 year ago

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"Because I wanted to live, Ajax! Even with Athena at my side, tomorrow was never promised to me. I didn't have prophecies to assure me of my survival or to warn me of my death. I wanted to live. I am..a decent fighter, but I am not you or Achilles or Diomedes. I am better at fighting with my words than with a sword. I always have been. I thought that Achilles' armor would give me a fighting chance to go home. It still doesn't make it right, but that is why. And that is the truth."

Odysseus almost looks deflated as he says all of this. Where is the man he was twenty years ago now? None of that famed charm, or wit, or mischief is with him now. He just looks weathered, downtrodden, a man who's been beaten down until there's scarcely anything left. Any other man may have accepted their fate that they may not see home ever again, but not Odysseus. It's the one thing keeping him going: that he vows to see Ithaka before he dies, that he will see Penelope and Telemachus again, even if it's the last thing he does.

At Ajax's words, he sighs and lets out a little laugh, even if it seems forced. "Well, you wouldn't be wrong. I suppose I am those things..and there are plenty of men better than I. You're one of them. I know you still would've protected me, and I don't--I don't know what to say. I hurt you, betrayed you, made you look like a fool. There's nothing I can do to change it now, but I should've never done it in the first place. You were always good to me, a great friend and ally, and all I did in return was hurt you."

“ If you didn't even want to be there then why did you have to take it?! ” AJAX felt the anger well up in him again, like a river without a dam in the down-pouring of rain. “ Why must you fight with m – ”

He stopped, halting in his own track at the sight of Odysseus wiping the tears out of his eyes. — Was he ... crying? The anger drained out of Ajax before he knew it. He stopped his feet again from going toward the broken king.

“ Don't – ... Cease that. What if your men can see you? ” Ajax grumbled, looking around as if there may be shades or living men spying on them in the mist. He rolled his shoulders, straightening his back as if he could shake off both the tension and discomfort.

“ For the record, I did mean what I said. You were a coward and a cheat. Greater men should be wary to turn their backs to you. ” He wished his words would be vehement, cutting like poison daggers, so Odysseus may feel the pain that he did. But he was already softened. He looked at Odysseus and his shield arm twitched.

“ ... But I would've protected you still. Every time. ”

#eripeteia #;Odysseus #i just. puts face in hands.#IT HURTS #odysseus with tears in his eyes like im not crying im nOT HAHAHA

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johaerys-writes · 3 years ago

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Fandom: The Song of Achilles

Pairing: Achilles/Patroclus

My entry for Day 1: Music & Day 2: Deities of @patrochillesweek 2021! Where the Greeks in Troy celebrate Dionysus' festival, and Achilles and Patroclus spend some time alone (~4.5k words, rated E for smut, check Ao3 link for full list of tags)

Read on Ao3!

Chapter 1: With a Shuddering Gasp

The music from the lyres and cymbals drifted through the camp, mingling with the crackling of flames from the many bonfires that had been lit. The celebrations for Dionysus’ festival had been going on for most of the day and the night before, and the scent of incense and wine hung heavy in the air.

I had never before attended such a festival. It wasn’t celebrated this widely in Opus or Phthia, where I had grown up. The Dionysia was among the largest festivals in Athens, celebrated with days and nights filled with drink, dance and theatrical performances of all kinds. Here, in the Achaean’s camp, where people from the farthest reaches of Greece gathered, it had quickly become a tradition.

I had been in the healers’ tent for most of the day, and now the moon hung high over the dark sea. My fingers were red from scrubbing, my eyes were tired, and the pungent scent of astringent was thick in my nostrils. I was weary, but it was a pleasant sort of weariness. When I worked, my mind was free of thoughts, of worries. I focused only on the act of healing, on helping the wounded soldiers as best I could. A bloody skirmish earlier that day had filled the beds in the tent to bursting, yet no lives had been lost. Perhaps the Trojans had been as tired of bloodshed as the Greeks were on that chilly February afternoon.

“Your wound needs to be cleaned and dressed once a day,” I told the soldier I'd been tending to, securing the bandage around his arm. “And stay away from the thick of the fight, if you can help it. Sweat and dirt will only slow down the healing.”

He nodded and stood up, limping away. I brushed the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand, letting out a soft sigh, just as Philomela, one of the healers’ assistants, approached me.

“It’s late, Patroclus,” she said. “You should join the celebrations, before they are over.”

I smiled at her. She was small in stature, with her wild curly hair bound in tight braids. She was one of Menelaus’ women, taken after an attack on one of the northern villages of Troy. She’d been brought to me one day with a cut on her thigh, her knees scraped, her eyes wide in panic and terror. I had been the first to treat her, and she had since regarded me with kindness and reserved affection. Menelaus was kind with his women, and he often let her join me while I worked, helping me, and I taught her what I knew.

“I don’t often join festivals like these,” I told her earnestly. “There's too much noise and commotion, and I am not a heavy drinker.”

“What about your prince?” she asked, her gaze darting away before settling on me again. “Achilles?”

The name was uttered quietly, almost apprehensively. It always stung, just a little, to know that the captives thought of Achilles with so much trepidation. His exploits had earned him something of a reputation, as I understood it: the Greeks revered him, while the Trojans feared the very mention of him. Philomela had visited our camp once or twice, and had seen that Achilles was quiet, almost gentle, when he wasn’t in his armour, yet a hint of disquiet was always there.

I shook my head, dipping my hands in the brass bowl that we used to clean ourselves. The water was cold and refreshing when I splashed it over my face and neck.

“Achilles does not much enjoy noisy gatherings like these either,” I said. “He... prefers being on his own these days.”

It had not always been so. Achilles relished the attention of others; he blossomed with it, and there was bound to be much of it if he joined in the celebration. His campaigns over the last couple of months had been met with overwhelming success, filling his men’s coffers with gold and riches and their camps with slaves. The leaders of the Achaeans would toast him and drink plenty of wine in his honour, the bards would sing of his achievements and his skill in battle until the early morning. Yet, boasting such as this was not always met with alacrity. There were many amongst the Danaans that envied Achilles the power of his station, and sneered at his reputation when they thought he was out of earshot.

Achilles was proud, and rarely paid attention to rumours and gossip. Yet, when he sometimes refused to grace Agamemnon’s lavish dinners with his presence, I could tell it was because the leader of the Greeks occasionally had trouble holding his tongue, especially after a few cups of wine. That was when the older man would gloat and boast, often blowing his own achievements out of proportion, in an effort to measure up to Achilles’ greatness, his promise of glory, the prophecy that had followed him since the moment of his birth, his reputation that only grew, day after day.

One does not need the blood of a goddess, he would say, his cheeks flushed from the drink, eyes gleaming, after recounting a story that was supposedly about a hero of old, if they have the favour of one. Would you not agree, Pelides?

Achilles pretended not to hear, not to know. He would smile at Agamemnon with all his teeth and toast him graciously, as Peleus had taught him, but he was still a man. He had learned to hide his true feelings from others, but I could still see how the whispers fuelled his frustration, how they turned him bitter, even when he insisted they did not.

Achilles was sharp and direct from nature; it troubled him when others were not. He wanted things to be simple and clear-cut, yet, here, they were anything but.

I sighed again, patting my hands dry on a linen towel. Philomela was by my side when we walked out of the tent, and into the festivities. The bonfires were burning high into the night, and from the lit braziers tendrils of incense smoke curled towards the stars. Soldiers and their women gathered around the heat, drinking and dancing to the rhythm of the music that the bands were tirelessly playing. Not a few were wearing animal furs, their faces darkened with soot, as was the custom.

No sooner had I walked out than someone grabbed me by the arm and thrust a cup of wine in my hands. I blinked up, startled, to see Diomedes grinning at me.

"Come," he said. "Drink. Celebrate with us."

I smiled politely and shook my head. "I really should be going back."

"What for?" Odysseus was quick to appear beside him, his usual easy smile ready on his lips. "You've been working all day. Everyone deserves a break, from time to time."

"That's right." Diomedes' wolfish grin got wider, his dark eyes sparkling. "All work and no play makes people dull, haven't you heard?"

Odysseus smiled encouragingly at me behind the rim of his own cup. "Have a drink with us. Just because he doesn't join us anymore doesn't mean you can't."

Of course he was referring to Achilles. It had not gone unnoticed that he had been avoiding gatherings such as these of late. I swallowed as I accepted the cup and reluctantly brought it to my lips. If my presence there could smooth those ruffled feathers, then a drink or two couldn't be that bad, could it?

The wine hit my tongue in a rush of heat, honey and spices. It warmed me as it glided down my throat, pushing the edges of my weariness away. I took another draught, letting its acidic sweetness jolt me awake.

My mild surprise must have been plain on my features, for Diomedes clapped me on the shoulder, chuckling knowingly. "That's it," he said, "that's a good lad. Now, drink up."

I didn't need further encouragement. The wine was unlike any I've ever tried; before long, I had drained my cup, and a servant had filled it to the brim again. The wild cadence of the drums and the flutes matched the beats of my heart, and I wasn't even thinking about my tired and aching limbs when Menelaus' arm wound around my shoulders, pulling me towards the writhing, undulating crowd.

In the smoke of the fires, in the heat of so many bodies moving close together, I forgot about my troubles, my worries. The edges of consciousness blurred, a mist that curled around me, rendering me indefinable. I closed my eyes and simply moved to the rhythm, blending into the crowd like a single petal amongst countless falling cherry blossoms, swirling with the wind.

In the depth of that mist, in the midst of that insubstantial territory, I saw him.

Achilles.

I saw him as he was once, years before, far away from the fires and blood of the war, from the intrigue, the whispers, the jealousy. I saw him running down the beach in Phthia, the pink undersides of his feet flickering. I saw the rich honey brown strands that hid in the depths of his golden hair, the wind that combed through them and brought them before his eyes when he turned to look at me. I saw him swimming in the stream in Pelion, the water running down his limbs in laze swirls.

I could see him clearly in my mind's eye, as if he were there. I could see him laughing, singing, playing his lyre in the pale light of morning, golden and vibrant and carefree. And in him, I saw myself.

I opened my eyes as the beat of the music reached a wild crescendo, as the people cheered and sang at the top of their lungs. Cups were raised high up in the air, wine swirling, overflowing, spilling from its confines and mixing with the brown dirt underfoot. Menelaus was dancing with one of his women — Aristea, his favourite, the fabric of her colourful dress tangling at her ankles as he swirled her about. Her laughter was drowned out by the noise, fading away.

I took a deep breath to center my focus, and stepped back, away from the crowd. My heart was still beating fast, and the music was hypnotic, but I knew I had to return to my own camp before it got too late.

Odysseus and Diomedes were caught in the festivities as well, so no one noticed me slipping away. Only Philomela's eyes caught mine amidst the sea of bobbing heads, and pushed her way towards me. She was holding a bowl filled with the sweets that the slaves had made earlier that day for the festival, dried fruits stuffed with nuts and drenched with syrup.

"For you," she said, smiling warmly at me, "and your prince."

The music and noisy chatter from the festival had dulled to a hazy, distant thrum by the time I made my way back to our camp. I was still feeling lightheaded from the drink, breathless from dancing and weaving through the endless rows of tents and throngs of inebriated, laughing soldiers. My brow was damp with sweat despite the chilly night, and my pulse still thumped in my throat in a strange sort of anticipation, a restless hunger. I clutched the bowl close to my chest, and hurried on.

The soft, plaintive sounds of Achilles’ lyre reached me as soon as I caught sight of the Phthian banners, fluttering in the breeze at the edges of our encampment.

Achilles was sitting on a bench, my mother’s golden lyre nestled in his lap. His fingers ran over the strings languidly, plucking notes that were brighter than water from a babbling stream, sweeter than honey. In the fire’s trembling halo, he seemed ethereal, very nearly transparent, yet at the same time more vibrant than I had ever seen him, dispelling the darkness of the night beyond. His hair caught the amber light on the flames and reflected it in aureate strands, his skin shimmered like polished gold, the muscles of his arms rose and fell underneath it like waves with every movement.

Beautiful, my mind supplied, as it always did when I looked at him. I had been gazing upon him since I was a child; it still was not enough for me to get used to him, to the effortless grace of his presence, the perfect symmetry of his eyes, his lips. The festivities that had been raging for a day and a night may have well been for Dionysus, yet it was Achilles, right there before me, who looked like a god, one for whom people gathered on wintry nights like this, to drink and dance and fornicate in his honour.

Would people remember him with kindness, I wondered, many years from now?

His jade green eyes snapped up to mine, and the familiar heat rushed through me, brushing away my swirling, distracted thoughts.

He set the lyre beside him and stood up. “You stayed with the healers until late tonight,” he said.

“I did,” I replied simply, standing at the edge of the fire. The bowl with the sweets was still cradled in my chest. Achilles glanced at it curiously, then at me.

“Is there something amiss?” he asked.

Of course he could tell I was different, just by looking at me, without me having to say anything. He always understood so much more about me than he let on.

“I just like looking at you.”

Achilles tilted his head ever so slightly to the side in question, a tiny fox’s smile curling the edges of his lips. He stood up and paced towards me unhurriedly, his footsteps barely audible on the soft earth.

My pulse raced ever so slightly when his finger brushed carefully under my eye. “You’re flushed,” he said.

“I had some wine. At the festival.”

“Ah.” His finger travelled higher, tracing my cheekbone. “Your pupils are larger than usual. What did you do?”

“Nothing.” I smiled. “It’s so I can see you better.”

Achilles huffed a quiet laugh at that, his features softened by pleasure. He always liked it when I gazed at him, praised him. The sound of his laughter slithered down my spine like warmed honey.

I do not know what possessed me then. Perhaps it was the drink, or the moon that hung high above us like a silver coin, or the way the firelight danced in his eyes and caressed the side of his face, but I had to be alone with him.

I took his hand in mine, walking backwards towards our tent. I could not look away, nor did I want to.

“One of Menelaus’ women gave me these sweets,” I told him. “They’re for you.”

“Is that so?” he hummed, amused. He caught on the game I was playing instantly, by reflex. “Then I’ll be sure to try them.”

We stepped in the tent together, the leather flap closing soundlessly behind us. I set the bowl on the low table that stood in the center of the place that we had come to call home, ever since we’d come to Troy.

We stood opposite each other across the table, facing each other, our breaths the only sounds. I swallowed; I did not know why I was feeling so restless all of a sudden, like it was the first time we had found ourselves alone.

“Take your pick,” I said, gesturing at the bowl.

Achilles quirked a fair brow as he glanced down at them, like a lord perusing a lowly merchant’s stall. “I will not choose at random,” he replied in an artfully haughty tone. “You must choose for me. You are my therapon; I know you will choose well.” He was in a playful mood, smiling at me like a mischievous boy; I loved it when he got like this. I didn’t often get to see him like that anymore.

I picked up one of the sweets and brought it to my lips. My teeth sank in the supple flesh of a dried fig, the walnuts within it softened from the syrup. I chewed slowly, my eyes never leaving him.

“How is it?” he asked. “Is it good?”

I shook my head. “Not good enough for you, my prince.”

Achilles bit back a grin, eyes shining. “Go on, then. Try another.”

And so I did. I picked up the syrupy fruits slowly, one after another, watching him. Every time Achilles asked me how it was, I answered in the same fashion: “Not good enough for you, my prince.”

I tried one of every sweet in the bowl, until my tongue clung to the roof of my mouth with the sweetness. When I had finished my thorough examination, Achilles crossed his arms leisurely before his chest.

“So, what is your verdict?” he asked, smirking. “Which one amongst them is the sweetest for me?”

I licked my lips, sticky with honey and spices, as my heartbeat soared. I reached into the bowl and dipped two fingers in the syrup, then slowly, holding Achilles’ gaze, I lifted them to my neck, dragging them across my skin.

“I am, my prince.”

Achilles’ eyes flashed in the half dark. There was something feral about the way his gaze honed in on me; a hunter’s gleam. He circled the table, closing the distance between us in two well-measured strides. I could smell the sweet scent of his sweat as he leaned in close, and a deeper, muskier one; the smell of his arousal. I bit the inside of my lip as his arm wound around my waist, pulling me until I was flush against him.

“Then I shall have you,” he whispered in my ear.

I shivered when his tongue brushed the side of my neck, warm and slick, velvet smooth. My head tipped backwards and I clung to him, holding him tight against me. His skin was hot to the touch underneath the fabric of his chiton, hotter than my own. Achilles’ mouth traced the hollow of my throat, the line of my jaw, the curve of my chin, before brushing over my own.

“I believe,” he hummed, his tongue flicking over my bottom lip, “this, here, is the sweetest yet.” His hands were on the base of my spine, drawing me in, and I was helpless in his hold. “You chose well.”

A soft moan escaped me, my fingers sinking into Achilles’ fragrant strands while he kissed me until my breath was all but gone from me. I followed the line of his neck, his shoulder, undoing the golden clasps that held his chiton in place. I could feel the weight of his waking interest pressing up against my thigh, and I suddenly couldn’t bear the feeling of clothes between us, or anything else; it had to be just us.

I pushed the fabric down, caressing and kissing every inch of skin I uncovered. I looked up at him when I had sunk down on my knees before him, bare as he was, his form illuminated by the shifting light of the brazier. My pulse hummed in my ears as I let my gaze follow the muscled planes of his chest and stomach, the definition in his arms, the strength of his powerful legs. He was watching me, too, through eyelashes that gleamed like threads of gold.

“My sweet Patroclus,” he whispered, thumb brushing over my lips, and in his gaze that familiar fondness lingered, unchanged through the many years I’d known him.

This. This was how I liked him best. When he was naked before me, body and heart, looking at me like this, touching me like this. This was when I knew he was mine, and mine alone; the world could not take this from me. From us.

I leaned forward and wrapped my lips around him, taking him in my mouth. Achilles shivered underneath me, his lips falling open on a quiet moan. His emerald eyes were dark with wanting, bottomless, when he reached down and threaded his long fingers through my hair. I was caught, pinned under that gaze, magnetised.

“Achilles,” I breathed, kissing the smooth skin of his navel as I stroked him, breathing in the musk of his sweat, the scent that rose from him: sandalwood, pomegranate, almonds and earth.

His hold on the back of my head tightened. He pulled me up gently and nudged me towards our bed, and I followed, half stumbling over my own toes.

My back sank into the furs as Achilles climbed over me, hovering above me. His smile was half-obscured by the trembling shadows, framed by the curtain of golden hair that fell around his face. The scent of the oil he used wafted in the air when he opened the vial that lay beside our bed.

“There’s more I haven’t tried,” he said.

“Is there?” I whispered. I spread my thighs wider apart, sighing when I felt the pressure of his fingers between my legs.

“Yes.” He kissed and nipped his way down, glancing up at me mischievously every time his fingers and tongue drew more shivers from me. His breath was hot over me when he said, “I have saved the best for last.”

I laughed, but the edges of my laughter broke on a strained sob of pleasure. I could feel him everywhere, his hands wandering all over me, the heat of his mouth swallowing me whole. I closed my eyes and surrendered to him, to this blissful, blessed torture. I was helplessly drawn to him, in his hands a mere plaything. Like the lyre he played, I was but an instrument, his touches drawing sounds from me that were meant for his ears alone.

When my heart had been filled to bursting, just when I thought that I would unravel in his hands, he pulled back, climbing back up the length of me again. His cheeks were flushed and so were his lips, his length hard against my skin where it touched me.

I reached up and cupped the back of his neck, heart beating wildly in my chest. “Is there more you’d like to try?” I asked in a teasing whisper. “Or have you had enough?”

“Enough?” His laughter was husky, a tad breathless. He kissed me deeply, reaching for the oil once more. “I’ll never have enough, philtatos.”

I gasped softly when he pressed against me, opening me up. My arms and legs wound around him, as if by rote, clutching him hard, pulling him to me. We were flush against each other, our bodies locking perfectly like two pieces of a whole. There was no one else but him in the world; there was no room for anything else. Just my skin touching his skin, the smell of his hair and the sweetness of his mouth, his quiet sighs in the half dark, and this hunger: these endless wells of aching want that existed between us, this fire that burned eternal.

We moved and breathed in unison, the edges between us blurring once more, our bodies melting into one. I closed my eyes and lost myself in that heat, that pressure, the pleasure that built and built, yet it was still him that I saw behind my eyelids. Even when my gaze turned inward and I drifted, swimming in the deepest recesses of my mind, I could always find him there, waiting for me, his image crisp as if he were right before me. He was a part of me, as I was of him; there was no me without him.

Achilles buried his face in the crook of my neck as he thrust deeper, harder, more urgently. His brow was damp with sweat now, his fingers digging into the flesh of my thigh where he held me fast. I was pinned underneath him, legs spread open at either side of his powerful hips, my hands roaming over the taut muscles of his back. Muscles that I knew better than my own, lines and angles that I could trace in the dark, with my eyes closed.

“Patroclus,” Achilles said in a shuddering gasp against my throat as his thrusts got faster, more erratic. “Patroclus—”

Achilles often got impatient, chasing his finish like a lion locked on to a deer, yet I didn’t want this to end just yet. I didn’t want to lose this warm, melding feeling. I hugged him tightly and pushed him to the side, flipping us both around.

I pinned his wrists above his head and held his gaze as I rolled my hips slowly, sinking down on him.

Achilles looked up at me, flushed and panting, his skin glistening, his hair spread in lazy golden swirls about his head. I leaned down, pressing my forehead to his.

“The fastest of the Greeks,” I hummed, “in all things, it seems.”

Achilles laughed, the sound vibrating through me where we were connected. “A champion in all things, you mean.” He grinned wickedly, yet it wasn’t long before his laughter turned into breathless, shaky moans again, his length stiffening within me. My name poured forth from his mouth with every breath, over and over, kissing it onto my lips, whispering it over my flushed and warmed up skin.

Achilles had never told me that he loved me, and I had never told him. It was always understood between us, a truth as natural as breathing, buried deep beneath our skin and woven in our bones. Yet when he said my name like this — Patroclus, Pa-tro-clus — repeated it like a chant, like it was holy, I knew well what he meant.

And so did he.

“Achilles,” I whispered into his hair, threading my fingers through his. “Achilles,” I gasped when he bucked, arching underneath me. “Achilles,” I breathed, when I felt the warmth of his pleasure blossoming inside me, when he melted in my arms, when his eyelids fell over his eyes like the petals of a nightflower at dusk.

We lay like this for a long while, arms and legs tangled atop the furs. I held him tight, long after our breaths had eased and our heartbeats had found their natural rhythm. The music and voices from the festival drifted through the leather walls of our tent, mingled with the trill of the crickets, the hoot of distant night birds hidden in the trees. Though I knew where we were, what lay beyond the safe haven of our small home; though the weight of a long day of healing death was quick to return to my limbs, it did not quite stir the peace between us. I had him, like this, soft and pure and unblemished like the first time I’d seen him, the first time I’d kissed him, the first time I’d laid with him. No one could take this from me. From us.

“Patroclus,” Achilles sighed sleepily, nuzzling into the hollow of my throat, arms coming around me to hold me close.

Yes, I thought. I knew well what he meant, when he said my name like this.

“Achilles,” I whispered in return, and closed my eyes.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated :) If you enjoyed this one-shot, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have a great day! <3

#the song of achilles #tsoa #Patrochilles Week 2021 #patrochilles #patroclus #achilles #patroclus x achilles #patroclus/achilles #achilles x patroclus #tsoa fanfic #achilles/ patroclus #johaerys writes

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godsofhumanity · 3 years ago

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BOOK VIII | HOMER'S ILIAD | LITERATURE REVIEW

SUMMARY: Zeus declares that none of the gods are allowed to participate further in determining the fate of the war. He goes down to watch the war unfold, and holds up his golden scales to decide which side is favoured best- and the scales tip in favour of the Trojans. Hector leads a mighty slaughter of the Achaeans, and none are able to challenge Hector. Hera and Athena attempt to defy Zeus, but are foiled when Zeus' anger scares them into returning to Olympus. Nightfall returns, and the soldiers go back to their respective camps.

previous book / all books / next book

another short analysis today!

Book VIII opens with Zeus telling the rest of the gods that they're not allowed to intervene in the war anymore,, much to Athena and Hera's despair.

many of the Olympians have important roles in the Iliad- Athena and Hera are patrons of the Achaeans, and do their best to support them,,, Aphrodite and Apollo take the side of the Trojans, inspiring their spirit, while Apollo himself often directly diverts any arrows away from Hector's skin,,, Ares, as the god of war, doesn't tend to take any particular sides unless one of the other gods appeal to him, but for the most part, he's fairly neutral.

Zeus, however, is an interesting god to me-- it's evident that whichever side is supported by Zeus will no doubt pull through and win the war,, him being the strongest god, and with authority to rule over the other gods... yet, though Zeus has many sons and daughters in the midst of the chaos, he is unable to show favouritism exclusively to any particular side..

i think this "neutrality" of Zeus links with his role as a god of justice... in Book VIII, the imagery of Zeus with his golden scales is a very prominent motif.

unfortunately for the Achaeans, Zeus' scales tip in favour of the Trojans- their side of the scale is lifted upwards to heaven, signifying that fate is with the Trojans. as such, Zeus uses his fierce lightning to pull the Achaeans back, and allow the Trojans to make havoc.

yet, Zeus still acts somewhat impartially- those who pray to him have their prayers answered, regardless of which side of the war they're on, as evidenced with Agamemnon who reminds Zeus of his previous sacrifices, and wins Zeus' pity thus sparing the lives of the Achaeans:

"'... Father Zeus, did you ever so ruin a great king... Yet, when to my sorry I was coming hither, I never let my ship pass your altars without offering the fat and thighbones of heifers... Vouchsafe me then this prayer- suffer us to escape at any rate with our lives, and let not the Achaeans be so utterly vanquished by the Trojans.' Thus did [Agamemnon] pray, and father Zeus pitying his tears vouchsafed him that his people should live, not die."

the power of 3 returns again in Book VIII when Zeus sends his lightning 3 times to ward off Diomedes:

"[Diomedes] was in two minds whether or no to turn his horses round again and fight [Hector]. Thrice did he doubt, and thrice did Zeus thunder from the heights of Ida in token to the Trojans that he would turn the battle in their favour."

the repetition three times has significance- 3 times did Diomedes attempt to fight Apollo in Book V, and 3 gods did Diomedes attack (Aphrodite, Apollo, and Ares)... and now here again, 3 times is Diomedes doubting himself, and 3 times is Zeus announcing his favour to the Trojans.

the last thing i want to talk about in this book is the motif of the dog- Hector is described on two occasions in Book VIII as a dog:

"And Teucer answered: '... I have shot eight barbed shafts, and all of them have been buried in the flesh of warlike youths, but this mad dog [Hector] I cannot hit.'"

"As a hound grips a wild boar or lion in flank or buttock when he gives him chase, and watches warily for his wheeling, even so did Hector follow close upon the Achaeans, ever killing the hindmost as they rushed panic-stricken onwards."

in the first instance, the comparison to a "mad dog" is meant to be derogatory; an insult to Hector implying that his mindless rage has led to his movements on the field being unpredictable, and impossible to target, like a mad dog running wild.

but in the second instance, this comparison is twisted around into a compliment- here, Hector's likeness to a dog is a good thing, for dogs represent loyalty and courage, qualities which Hector exhibits when he fights for Troy and its people.

even more so, the comparison of Hector to a hound specifically exemplifies his fighting prowess as hounds are particularly associated with hunting.

the book ends with the Trojans celebrating a well-earned rest in their city... however, the scene that Homer describes in the book's concluding paragraph is more ominous than joyful:

"They then offered unblemished hecatombs to the immortals, and the wind carried the sweet savor of sacrifice to heaven- but the blessed gods partook not thereof, for they bitterly hated Ilium with Priam and Priam's people... As when the stars shine clear, and the moon is bright- there is not a breath of air, not a peak nor a glade nor jutting headland but it stands out in the ineffable radiance that breaks from the serene of heaven; the stars can all of them be told and the heart of the shepherd is glad- even thus shone the watchfires of the Trojans... A thousand campfires gleamed upon the plain, and in the glow of each there sat fifty men, while the horses, champing oats and corn beside their chariots, waited till dawn should come."

the scene painted here is a calm one- the minimal use of plosive sounds, and the use of softer sounds like "stars shine", "serene of heaven" helps create the image of a very gentle and mild atmosphere. as the Trojans rest, so does the environment..

however, the silence in the image is eerie- Homer describes the sound of the horses eating, but there is "not a breath of air" or any other real sounds... the exclusion of a description of the men chattering away or even laughing and having a good time is foreboding.

the last line describes the camp waiting for dawn to come, and the eeriness of the scene description implies that when dawn comes, some sort of doom will arrive as well. this sense of foreshadowing is further emphasised by the description of "the blessed gods... bitterly hated Ilium". now, when the scene is described as only the "serenity of heaven" radiating down on the camp, it gives the audience a sense that heaven is watching over the Trojans.. and it may not necessarily be a good thing, considering that some of the gods are displeased with Troy.

my last note that i wanted to share was this little line, my favourite in Book VIII, about Priam's son Gorgythion dying:

"Nevertheless [Teucer] missed [Hector], and the arrow hit Priam's brave son Gorgythion in the breast. His mother, fair Castianeira, lovely as a goddess, had been married from Aesyme, and now he bowed his head as a garden poppy in full bloom when it is weighed down by showers in spring- even thus heavily bowed his head beneath the weight of his helmet."

how sad is that? i cried T-T

#homer #the iliad #review #long post

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ad1thi · 4 years ago

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2020 fic recs!! [Part 2]

part 2 of my 2020 fic recs!! as before, ive limited this to five fics per month; and fics are ordered by the month they were published. This spans fandoms and ships, and hopefully you find something you like!! credit for the idea goes to @iam93percentstardust

***

July

this is the start: @capnwinghead

Clark and Bruce continue raising the Wayne children and encounter a number of challenges along the way.

great minds (love alike): @starklysteve

Steve’s eyes flicks down to Tony’s knees on the floor.

“Are you – are you proposing to me with my ring for you?” Steve asks incredulously, eyes wide and confused.

---

Or, Steve finds Tony’s ring for him, Tony finds Steve’s ring for him. Panic happens.

Marvels Unsolved: @iam93percentstardust

Marvels Unsolved was never supposed to be this popular. It started off as a novelty web-series about Tony trying to convince Bucky about the existence of the supernatural—he firmly believed that if science could turn Uncle Steve from an actual shrimp to the god of muscles, then magic had to be out there—and then they’d started talking about an unsolved crime from the early 20th century after filming an episode one day, forgetting that the camera was still rolling, and had ended up with enough footage to make a second episode about real crimes. They had stayed pretty unknown throughout that first season but then true crime podcasts had exploded in popularity and Unsolved along with them.

it’s a small world after all: @maguna-stxrk

“Great speech.”

Smiling at the compliment, Tony turns around. “Thank y—”

And nearly drops his champagne flute.

His world comes to a stop.

They had only spent a night together, but Tony would recognize those baby blues anywhere.

It’s Steve.

Steve from Tony’s London business trip. Or, as Rhodey has become accustomed to calling him—The Soulmate That Got Away.

you’re in my blood, you’re in my veins: @nethandrake

Tony always figured that if they ever were to break up, it would be like a blaze. Scorching and hot and all-too blinding. Intense like the two of them have always been.

Instead, they break up on a Tuesday, with the rain pelting the windowpane and the midnight silence stifling.

August

Five Times Danny said he’d marry Steve (plus one): @five-wow

Danny humphs. “Look, all I’m saying is, I think I’d probably have married you by now.”

“I’d marry you, too,” Steve says.

Or: An experiment in how many times you can say something before you have to put your money where your mouth is.

Family (You’ve Always Had It): @/SunnyQueen

A black Camaro and a scowling blond was not what Junior had been expecting.

“Hi, sir. You didn’t have to pick me up.”

The blond looked up from the screen on his phone and groaned, completely ignoring Junior's statement. “You are right, I didn't have to."

Ode To Yoga Pants: @riotfalling

OR the continued terrible mating dance of Bucky and Tony, AKA when betting on your friends stops being fun

Through The Years: @hawkbucks

Tony brings home Natasha one day, proclaiming her to be his new sister.

Natasha takes this all in stride.

The broken road that led me home to you: @just-fandomthings

A documented list of conversations between Steve and Danny via text and phone call following the events of 10x22 "Aloha." (Where, even thousands of miles apart, Steve and Danny can't go without talking to each other.)

September

someday, we’ll pass it on to you: @starklysteve

Steve smiles.

Reaching up, he flattens his hand against his son’s far smaller one, curling gently around it. “You wanna be like him?”

“Da!” Peter agrees again.

One year old, and you already know who’s the best of us, Steve pauses to reflect, all his fears chased away by a fierce pride. “Your Dad’s coming home real soon,” he promises, “you should tell him that.”

---------------

Or, five times Peter did the repulsor pose as a toddler

+ one time he used the repulsors as an adult

Classic Sci Fi: @notdoingsohot

Bucky wakes up to Steve telling him he's lost his memory, but not to panic, it'll only last a few days. Easier said than done when the last thing Bucky remembers is fighting Hydra with the Howlies in WWII.

He tries to make the most of it however, and there's this guy... Tony Stark. It's pretty clear the guy hates Bucky's guts, which is unfortunate because god damn is he a sight.

He tries to figure out what he did to wrong Stark, but everyone just tells him he doesn't want to know.

They were right.

Blooms in Frost: @/Diomedes

Tony coughs up his first petal on the sixth of July. He has been married to the love of his life for two years.

Bury a Hanahaki corpse in earth and it will beget the most beautiful garden. All that love, it is said, must go somewhere.

Hanahaki AU: Established relationship

------------------------------------------

A Single Thread of Gold: @lovelyirony

Rhodey doesn't believe in love at first sight or any of that cheesy shit. He just wants someone who is nice, dependable, and safe.

Tony Stark is Housing Service's little problem for the school year, and now he's stuck in Rhodey's room because he's exploded the last two dorm rooms he's been in and won't live off-campus.

high roller, place your bet: @machi-kun

“Would you kiss Stark for a hundred bucks?”

“I would pay a hundred bucks to kiss him.”

October

press my luck: @omg-just-peachy

But... Steve is almost ten years his junior, and he could be with just about anyone, looking and acting like he does. And then there’s the not so small fact of Tony’s name and net worth and the fact that, okay, Tony had paid for Steve’s grad school tuition, and now he’s worried Steve feels obligated to stay. Or something.

Or, Tony is a billionaire, Steve is a grad student, and they learn to let themselves be taken care of.

see it with the lights out: @starklysteve

Tony goes on a business trip, and he does not - not at all - get jealous of Dodger hogging his husband's chest, a territory otherwise known as Tony's pillow.

(or, Steve goes on an Instagram spree and Tony misses home)

adulthood is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane: @starkslovemail

It was a perfect plan, if Peter did say so himself.

The Buy In: @dracusfyre

For the ImagineTonyandBucky prompt: Mafia AU with Tony as the Boss (except he's a really good one, making the streets safe, keeping drugs away from kids etc) and Bucky as the detective sent to go undercover to catch him out but ends up realizing he's actually doing more good than harm and they end up falling in love

trinkets of your affection: @starklysteve

Kissed him once for every year I loved him, Steve had written.

By that count, Steve owes him five more kisses now.

Tony traces the words, hands trembling, and tips back a shot of Howard's ancient whiskey. None of it burns anymore.

One day, he'll have lived more days without Steve than there are words in the diary.

For the first time since he'd woken with shrapnel in his chest, Tony fears the future.

----------

Or, five things Tony keeps to remember Steve by, and one thing Steve gives him to remember.

November

“Hey Tony”: @riotfalling

Steve points out that Bucky never calls Tony by his actual name. Bucky doesn’t believe him, until he does.

Remembering You is Hard to Do: @lovelyirony

“The future’s crazy, honey-bear.”

Jim looks up.

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what?”

“Honey-bear. It’s weird.”

“Inside joke we have,” Tony says, chest tightening. “We thought those couples that have the lovey-dovey nicknames were ridiculous.”

overheard your heartbeat (calling me yours): @starklysteve

"Tony - "

"I wish I could promise to come home this time," he feels the armor crawl back down his arm, continuing unnoticed over Steve's red gloves, then up the blue uniform as Tony fights to keep Steve's gaze firmly fixed on him.

The last eyes Tony might get to see, and he wants to be lost in them.

In the end, his entire life boils down a few simple things: "JARVIS, take care of him for me."

----------

Or, Tony overhears a phonecall where Steve proposes, a battle happens, and a paper ring settles some misunderstandings.

i (really, really, really, really, really, really) like you.: @nethandrake

For as long as Steve can remember, he's been crushing on Tony Stark. The thing is, he's pretty sure Tony doesn't know Steve exists. And how could he? Steve's scrawny and little. He's a nobody compared to Tony who's Mr Popular and the son of a billionaire.

Or at least he thought so until Tony swings by the bakery Steve's mother happens to own to enlist Steve's help in finding the perfect Valentine's Day card.

The perfect Valentine's Day card for someone who isn't Steve.

One Song (My Heart Keeps Singing): @iam93percentstardust

When Thor is old enough to understand what a Heartsong is, he goes to his mother to ask her why he can’t understand the language his is in. He listens as she tells him about the first soulmates who couldn't understand their Heartsong until the day they meet, excited by the thought of a grand adventure, one that will take him across the cosmos in search of his One.

He’ll search all the Nine Realms if he has to.

December

Swiping Right: @s-horne

“Ouch. Definitely a hard pass for that one?”

Steve startled at the sudden comment from the row of chairs behind him and turned around. He’d been passing the time in the airport lounge by swiping through Tinder and had gotten lost in his own world. It was almost jarring to be pulled away from the screen of hot men and back into reality where the PA was screeching and there was noise everywhere.

Adjusting to the difference, Steve frowned. Wait, he knew that face. Oh, shit… he knew that face.

“No, no, it’s fine,” the man said before Steve could get out anything other than an embarrassed sort of yelp. Waving his hand through the air, the stranger smiled ruefully. “I get it. It’s the beard, isn’t it? True be told, it was a weird winter choice that year and I knew it would come back to hurt me.”

Steve didn’t know what to say. He knew it must have shown on his face and could feel himself flushing, panicked and embarrassed all at once. What were the odds of swiping left on someone literally sat behind him?

set your flight path home (to me): @starklysteve

Tony puts down his welding torch. “I’m building you a plane.”

Stepping carefully over the gears and tools scattered about, Rhodey slowly makes his way to him.

“And when did you become an expert on how to build a plane?”

“Last night,” Tony grins.

---------------

Tony builds a plane, and Rhodey teaches Tony how to fly it. Or he would be teaching Tony, if Tony didn't distract him so much.

I Want A Man With A Slow Hand: @thefourofswords

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked on their way to a crime scene, because no time like the present, and Danny believed in ripping off band-aids.

“Why not?” Steve replied, eyes on the road. “You’re gonna even if I say no.”

“What do you like in bed?”

Danny undertakes a very important mission to get Steve laid. For his health. Ahem.

same time next year: @omg-just-peachy

“I forgot to ask. When’s your flight home?” Steve asks, draping his arm over Tony’s shoulder and settling in against him.

Tony ignores the knot that forms in his chest at the idea of it, leaving Steve again for his own impersonal apartment, his piles of books and projects and the nights without sleep.

“Day after tomorrow.”

Steve huffs a little sigh, then brings his lips to Tony’s neck. “Well, we’ll have to make the most of it, won’t we?”

Or, four (4) Christmases with two (2) idiots who can't admit they're in love.

rearrange my heart (to fit your smile): @starklysteve

"You dare," Howard's chair makes an ugly noise as it scrapes against the stone floors, the chatter of the room shifting into hushed whispers and stolen glances. "I am your father and your King!"

"My King is my husband," Tony tips his chin up, defiant. "And I refuse to hear you suggest that my husband has been anything other than good to me."

Next to him, he feels Steve's shoulders stiffen in surprise.

Howard's fist slams loud on the table. "Your husband does not even love you!"

Tony jerks back, burned. He knows that. Knows that Steve did not marry him for love – does not need any reminder of the cold truth, of what he desperately yearns for and can't even hope to have – but the harshness of Howard's words was scalding, and Tony can't afford for this to go any further.

----------

Or, King Steven marries Prince Tony, Tony is pretty sure he shouldn't panic when he falls in love with his own husband, and Steve tries his very best not to cause diplomatic crises.

Keyword: try

#adi's rec list #superbat #superhusbands #winterironfalcon #mcdanno #buckytony #peppernat #superfamily #rhodeytony #ironfamily #and that's a wrap!!!

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blade-king-luze · 3 years ago

Text

“Rays of Understanding” Part 1 - Bud

(OOC: A two part Non-Canon story that I have thought about for awhile. What if Luze had a chance to meet Yuzuki? Not physically, but spiritually in a dream world that feels real?

It’s a funny case because I thought about if he had a familiar I made up for him. Diomedes came from Bayonetta and if you look that Demon up, it’s very suitable. But what if his familiar took up a form of a raven, as I keep mentioning throughout my stories, like how Sodom changes into a wolf from a Dragon? And he acts like a dreamcatcher to chase or drag the nightmares away? Nevermore Or yet, bring someone into his master’s mind to talk with him for a moment or two? I think I know who would have easy access using whatever she can.) - Feat. Yuzuki Giou - A screenshot directly taken from the anime itself - References to my previous stories

There are questions left unanswered. Some would want to find out the truth of things. Some others would walk away never to find those truths, yet live in a lie.

During Luze’s stay within the Twilight Mansion, he still has a lingering thought of how Yuki lived long enough with memories locked from his previous reincarnation of the “goddess” of light, Yuzuki Giou. But it’s sometimes better to leave things hushed and never stir wrong ideals. After sitting down and having dinner with the rest of the Zweilts and his brother, everyone left to retreat to their rooms to have a long rest after chatting the night away.

Luze is seen in his quarters as he pries open the window to let the breeze calm his nerves and make him rest. He clutches the charm that was given from Yuki and feels a warm sensation coming from it, feeling safe and at ease. Not only was his familiar, Diomedes, and the wind were able to calm him down, his charm comes into play as well. Luze then heads off to bed and drifts to sleep more easily but strangely before as his raven went to sleep by him as well. However, his raven remains awake and decides to peer into his master’s mind for unknown reasons. Suddenly, Luze’s charm begins to glow faintly.

A flash of red comes from Diomedes’s eyes as he sense that someone wanted to meet Luze and drags them into his psyche ...

A warm breeze swept through as I was sleeping. Leaves were suddenly rustling louder than I expected as if they were near or directly on top of me. Strange. It didn’t feel cold as the night would be. Did someone shut my window in the middle of the night? I had better not end up outside either considering how loud yet subtle the noises of nature are right now ...

I had even heard birds chirping clearly as well. It was far from the sounds of bats who would squeak occasionally within the blackened skies, hanging upside down from roofs greeting the night air through them. It can’t already be daylight. I had just drifted off to sleep mere seconds ago ...

My hand suddenly twitched slightly and something tickled against my nose. My eyes began to quiver and slowly open. I blinked hard as my vision took time to adjust to the bright burst of light.

🎵- (Music to read through this) The first thing I saw were blades of green grass directly in front of me, swaying as the calm wind brushed them against my face. “... Huh?” I said with my half exhausted voice and blinking with my half opened eyes. My body was laying flat as my back was getting hit from the sun’s rays. I moved my hands downward and gently pushed myself up slowly. My body was somehow heavily groggy as if I got hit by something hard and got knocked unconscious.

I looked towards the ground to be greeted with more greenery and for some reason ... My military hat was next to me. I reach towards it as I saw my arm and hands were covered with a sleeve and glove. My hair was suddenly tied up with my white tassel. Confused, I began to look around myself to see that I wasn’t hallucinating.

“... Why am I in my old uniform?” I asked as I was touching my clothing. This was truly strange as I took a second as my hands were placed on my chest for a few seconds, my eyes wandering at nothing and thinking. I swore I was just with my inner shirt. I shook my head trying to push away for a moment from whatever was going on and reluctantly reached for my military hat and wore it, adjusting it into place. I began to look up more from still kneeling and from looking at the greenery beneath me. My eyes grew wide from what I saw. I stood up straight, steadily getting up. “Where in seven hells am I?” I whispered.

The wind flew gently blowing my hair to the side. What I saw that was right in front of me was a pristine crystal lake. At a distance, ruins of an ancient building that once stood mighty before were laid to nothing but bricked walls and arches still holding onto their based structure. It seemed as though I was transported to an unknown forest where the trees stood taller and more gigantic than those that covered our mansion from prying eyes. How did I get here? I thought to myself. “This all can’t be a dream ...” Moments passed as I was mesmerized on the landscape. It looked surreal. I walked towards the lake’s direction slowly taking in my surroundings as I looked left and right. The birds flew by below the majestic gargantuan trees as the light emitted rays peeking from the leaves and entered the crystal lake creating a beautiful painted image. I eventually made my way and stood close to the lake’s edge. I looked down to meet my reflection. However, the reflection was not my own. It was rather someone else’s. My eyes tensed as I saw him. He had short hair. Silver piercing eyes looking at me from the lake’s mirror. This was definitely some kind of illusion that someone must have done to toy with my mind. Whoever it may be, I was not having any of it. Or worse, I was possibly losing my mind.

“Luka?” A soft voice rang. A female voice, fragile yet delicate. At first, I was slightly annoyed that someone would call me by my other half. But at the same time, the innocent chime that her voice gave out made me steady myself as I turned my head to my shoulder. I slowly turned around. My breath escaped me as I saw who stood at a distance.

Her long hair flowed gently within the breeze. It shone like the light that cascaded along the lake. Her eyes, golden just like the rest of the Hume Zweilts. She had her hand clasped on her chest as she was equally as shocked as I was. She wore a white dress that had a pink ribbon wrapped around her waist to act like a sash and a jewelled collar to match with it. She looked to be like one of those princesses you’d see from a distant kingdom. More like an angel, perhaps that descended from the Celestial realm. Rather ... More like Yuki.

“I’m ... Afraid that you’re mistaken ...” I said hesitantly and broke the silence. The female Hume blinked twice from confusion and thought for a second. She suddenly was taken aback as she waved her delicate hands in front of her. “Oh! I’m terribly sorry! I just thought ... I just thought you were Luka because you looked exactly like him!” I was confused at her unexpected reaction as I cocked an eyebrow with a bewildered face. I reached for my tied up hair and thought to myself how Humes could easily mistake me for Luka who has shorter hair. “I really am sorry! Forgive me!” She pleaded as she bowed to me with her hands clasped in front downward.

I took a step forward with my hands out barely to reach her, not knowing what to do in this very awkward situation. I never dealt with women in my life time, especially with one that appeared right behind me. How long was she standing there for, looking at me as if I was some kind of fool lost in this forest?

“... It’s alright.” I said awkwardly. “You also don’t need to be so formal around me. I do quite understand how you can easily mistaken me for my brother.”

She slowly fixed herself up straight as she brushed her bangs from her eyes. “Ah. You must be Luze, then? Luze Crosszeria, was it?” She held onto her dress as she gave a curtsy and stood up with her arms in front her. “We finally are able to meet each other. And it’s a great honor to see you in person.”

I was taken aback even though I have told her to not be so formal with me. What did she mean by, “finally meeting me”? Yet, I could not get mad or annoyed at her even if I wanted answers right away. There was just some kind of air flowing through her that made me ... At peace. Was it because she was God’s Light and is standing directly in front of me? “You must be Yuzuki Giou, then.” I said. She nodded. “My brother told me about you, only for just a moment in vague details.”

She giggled lightly as she brought a closed hand to her chin. “I see Luka was always the secretive type. And still is until this day.” Yuzuki held her hands behind her back as she slowly made her way towards me. Each step seems like a pondering child looking at the ground thinking. “However, he’s not so secretive whenever he brought you up in conversations because I would ask more about you.”

“He ... Told you things about me?” I kept my gaze at her as she finally reached the edge of the lake, standing right besides me. She looked at me with soft eyes and nodded. My eyes suddenly averted away the longer she stared. I turned around to face the lake with her. ”Luka told me who you were and what you were like once he accidentally spilled out that he had a twin.” She began. “Many small details about you as well, mind you. But it made me more curious to meet you one day. If ... you had accepted me of course, being a Hume and everything. I want to be able to talk to you in person but I never had the chance to. And so here I am, getting to meet his famous young twin of his. It was all thanks to the charm my recent reincarnation made for you along with your familiar.” ... Figures. I had a feeling that Diomedes was up to something. But also, my charm? I scurried through digging beneath my uniform and felt the leathered chain still around me. I dragged the chain outward and saw the charm. “This?” I pointed out as the charm laid on my palm. Yuzuki examined my charm as she got close. I recoiled slightly, trying not to see her from how close she was. “Wow ... It’s very beautiful! My current self made that for you?” She asked. “... It was given to me as a holiday present.” I said begrudgingly quiet. She was still not giving me space. “Yuki, your current reincarnation decided to make one for me as he has done to Luka, albeit his is a black crossed embedded with a ruby and a black chain. It helped us plenty of times during our great struggles. You can say it’s sort of like a protection charm.” “May I see it?” Yuzuki said as she tilted half of her body to face me. I still didn’t look at her as I was about to reach for my chain to take it off. Instead, the moment I put my cross down, she held onto it and took a closer look almost dragging me towards her ... Thankfully the chain was long enough. She smiled gently as she held it within her small hands. “I am glad he provided you both with this. I love it.”

I restrained myself from being annoyed. However, as soon as I saw her smile being carved in her visage, every concern I had seemed to disappear. She gently placed the charm as she slowly brought it back barely touching my chest and released it as it hung around my neck. I slightly looked at her. “So I take it that you made your way through my familiar and were able to send me to your desired location with this charm?” She pondered. “Hmm ... I supposed that’s how it works. Whatever it was, those two may be the source on how I managed to.” I scoffed softly. “Fair enough.”

She began to sit down on top of the soft bedded grass as I kept my gaze at her. Suddenly, an unknown flashback came into my head ... It stung my eyes as if lightning struck close right in front of me.

I gasped lightly and took a step backward. I winced and closed my eyes as I brought a hand and touched the temple of my head and held it for a few seconds. The headache throb calmed down immediately.

“Luze? Are you alright?” Yuzuki asked, worried. She leaned towards my direction as she held her position with one hand on the ground in front of her to keep balance. “Y-Yeah.” I blinked. “It was just a slight headache is all. There’s no need for concern.” She sighed in relief making her tensed body lighter again. My hand relaxed as I put it down and looked towards the scenery. “I take it that you and Luka had been here? What is this place, anyway?”

She nodded. “This was the place further but at a distance from my kingdom. Some say that these ruins have been here long before I was born. It’s just fascinating to know what was it before it was gone. Whatever it may be, the way it opens up like this seems to be like a portal to a different dimension. It makes me wonder what’s on the otherside of those archways, what the otherside would look like peering through those opened windows ... I would usually go here to reminisce about how beautiful it must be over there rather than here. Even though I always felt at ease no matter how lonely I was before he, your brother, came into my life. Yet, I also had a yearning for freedom considering--” She paused and looked down. Her expression grew solemn. “... You might have known about my circumstances.”

I turned to gaze at her as I was listening. My body moved on it’s own as I decided to sit down besides her. My legs were laid straight and crossed as my hand held my position from leaning backwards and placed the other on my lap. “... I had heard about your plight, recently.” Yuzuki looked at me. I gazed towards the lake with glazed eyes. “It must have been difficult to endure such a burden as that. As much as your abilities may be a blessing to others, you yourself find it as a curse.” I looked down. The silence grew for a moment.

Yuzuki pondered as she looked sideways. “I guess it really does feel like that, does it?”

I sighed. “Though I would have to admit back then, I barely knew anything about you. What was so special about God’s Light, I kept asking myself. What kind of power does she hold that made her be loved by so many? Even her enemies? No one ever tells me anything from my own circumstances. I was only used to clear the frontlines and that was it. I was put away until I could be used again for the same purposes over and over. Nothing else. I only just hear rumors here and there. I guess you can say that I too was locked away from my freedom like you with little to no knowledge on what goes on in my world. To others, I was a blessing for their own gain. But to me, I was cursed with such a fate as many who shunned us know ...”

A hand was placed gently on my shoulder. I quickly looked towards her as she traced her hand down to where my Crosszeria Crest hid and placed her palm on it. “That’s right ...” Yuzuki said softly. “Your family has been through so many hardships since the day The First Who Sinned brought ruin to you all. I had still wish there was more than what I could have done for you both. You didn’t deserve such a fate.”

I shook my head and gazed outward. I placed my hand on top of hers and gently pushed it down to reassure that she needn’t worry about it. “You know, now that we are talking about our faults, it’s ... Very strange how similar we are. I was always the person to judge before even thinking because of sudden orders that were given out to me. I- ... I was one of them who labeled you as an enemy.” I saw from the corner of my eyes that she seemed to look worried. “But when I saw you in front of me and how you turned out to be, I knew I was completely wrong to assume so. I should have known and never jump so far into conclusions. From that ... I am sorry.” Yuzuki smiled gently as she shook her head. “... It’s really understandable that you would think so. You’re a Duras after all. Most of them would despise me. At least you’re really honest just like your brother. That’s what I appreciate most about you two.” I looked at her for a few seconds then away staring blankly. I couldn’t believe she got me talking more than I should. “... I am surprised you don’t hate me.” Yuzuki fixed her sitting position as she risen slightly and back down suddenly. “Heavens, no! I would never! Even though I had just began to talk to you, but you’re actually someone I loved to have around!” My eyes gazed sideways at her as I blinked twice with slightly widened eyes.

“Don’t be so negative about yourself!” She subtly retorted. “You know you’re more worth than what your previous position was. I bet Luka feels the same way about you.” I cocked an eyebrow. “I doubt that.” For a moment I thought I saw her pout. I scoffed from her reaction. “You’re ... More interesting than I thought you would be as well.” Yuzuki was slightly shocked and her eyes looked towards the side. “You think so?” “Well, yes of course. It’s no wonder my brother loves you for one of those reasons that is.” I teased though one wouldn’t tell from my blank expression. She hid her face with her hands. “L-Luze, please!” I scoffed once more. She shook her head and sighed to calm herself then placed her hands on her lap.

I grew solemn as I hesitated. “You really love Luka that much, do you?” Yuzuki smiled gently at the thought. She brought her knees up to her and hid her arms underneath them rustling her dress. She nodded. “He’s been with me ever since we came across each other. It all started when the Duras came this close on gaining their victory. He was among them, strangely by himself away from his other ranks. No one and nothing followed behind him. Something must have disturbed him if he was fighting all alone. That was until ... Luka found me almost helpless. I also had no one beside me as the others fell before I could escape. I would have thought he would raise his blade to finish me off, but instead of his sword, it was his hand. As soon as I looked up, the moment I locked eyes with him, I ... I thought some kind of knight came to rescue me. I didn’t know if I suddenly fell in love. He ... Helped me escape.”

I gazed towards the lake. “... I see. I guess it really was fate that brought you two together.” It was hard not saying anything about how Luka left all of a sudden just to see the Hume he once longed for. Little did I know why he made such a rash decision when it was obviously unintentional. Whatever was on his mind during his battle, I suppose he was fortunate to find his way to her, away from our forsaken land of Infernus.

“It must have been difficult for losing those around you as well.” I said. “I know all too well how that must have been like.” Yuzuki looked at me. “You too?” I nodded. “Long story short, they all fell one by one right in front me ... They were my most trusted no matter what family lineage I came from. If only I was ready enough to save them all. I was a fool and some of my hubris got the best of me ...” She listened as she appeared solemn and concerned. She placed a hand on top of mine. I slightly looked towards her hand. “I would say the same thing ... We all can’t save many that we love. We’re just one person and sometimes that’s not even enough. I don’t know how your close friends were like, but I can guess just like those that fell before me, they were willing to give so much sacrifices for us to have a better life ... No matter how painful it must be to let them go. Both of us have to move on from what they left for us even if we feel like our lives aren’t worth living for. We should at least be thankful for what they done for us, right?” My eyes went to hers and I thought I saw her eyes begin to develop tears. She was trying her best to hold them back with her smile. How is it that she was able to hold onto something so painful to keep herself going? I nodded slowly.

“I know that from one of my reasons was that I wanted to keep going so long as Luka was alive.” She said as she let go of my hand. “I wanted him to be happy after all of the dangerous things he threw himself at for the sake of me. Yet ... I felt as if I had to keep up the act of wanting to be alive.” I slightly tilted my head. “Act ... ?” I asked. She nodded slowly looking away. “I know it’s strange and ironic when I was just talking about moving forward. I am sure you read something within my journal about that, have you Luze?” My eyes suddenly grew wide. “I ... Beg your pardon?” Shit. She looked towards me and suddenly teased slightly half heartedly. “You went into my room without my permission, have you?” “I--” I blinked at her. “H-How did you--??” She giggled out of nowhere from my baffled expression. “Yuzuki, it’s not what it looks like!” I said trying to retort as I almost leaned forward.

She began to laugh wholeheartedly. “Tch!” I closed my eyes and turned away. My face was beginning to feel hotter and hopefully the light was bright enough to blind anyone from seeing my face turn red. Yuzuki wiped away a tear. I glanced sideways with my head still hanging low and embarrassed. “... Have you had your fill, my lady?” “My apologies. I didn’t mean to startle you like that.” She said trying to calm herself. “Although you were really adorable!” I averted my gaze once again. “It’s alright, Luze. Really, you were bound to find out one way or another. That room can’t be hidden forever.”

She grew solemn once more. “Those words you read,” She began. I listened as I turned my head slowly. “Those were what I had felt throughout those times I kept my memories in different timelines. The more longer I was with Luka, the more I realized what was going on with me. It ... Started to accumulate whenever I was reincarnated over and over again. He always made me forget. I was blind with love that he managed to ‘save’ me from myself for just moments every single time we sat down like this. He didn’t seem like a Duras. But more like a guardian angel ...

The one main thing that kept reminding me of what I was used for were moments where I would have been held captive like a bird in a cage. Hence, that room that you discovered. My powers were that precious to keep from prying eyes ... I hated everything about my powers. I hated how I was treated. How ... isolated I turned out to be because of it.” Tears began to develop within her eyes. “ All I ever wanted after so many reincarnations in my lifetime, was to have a normal life. To live free as other girls I have seen. Running around in the open fields, laughing with their friends, getting together and talk about whatever outrageous topics that come into mind. And that made me realize ...” She brought her knees up and held them close to her. Her body began to shake as she tried her best to stifle her sobs. “The most painful thing that I kept having on the back of my mind was the thought of finally ending my life.”

“What ...?” No. I glared at her. She covered her face with her hands as she sobbed louder yet softly. I let her take her time as she was trying her utmost to speak. Tears fell delicately. “Luka was my only hope. He was the reason I kept fighting my own inner battles. He was the sole reason why I kept going with him. I loved him. I loved him so much ... I ... I never wanted to betray him if I suddenly just disappeared out of nowhere from his existance.” Stop. “But ... I just couldn’t bare it no more. I couldn’t bare the thought of being used as a tool to save other’s pain. I couldn’t bare the thought of everyone dying around because they gave up their lives to defend me ...” Enough. “I couldn’t- ... I couldn’t bare the thought of dragging Luka away from what he used to have. His position, his family, even you. And all I got in return from my existence was hatred all around me.

I should be the one to apologize for everything from the beginning. I always wanted to meet you, Luze. But ... I was reminded of him and why I didn’t want to return to Earth anymore. You probably hate me more than--” I immediately grabbed her arms tightly and shook her slightly. “YUZUKI, THAT’S ENOUGH!” She gasped. Her eyes opened wide as she looked up now face to face directly at me. Tears still fell down, but lightly this time. “Don’t. Say anymore ...” My voice wanted to shout, but it was trembling and gave out. “Just ... Please, no more.”

“L-... Luze?” She responded. My hands were shaking as I slowly released her. My eyes wandered aimlessly from the moment I realized what I just did. I looked back at her. “I-- ...” I suddenly got up and turned my back towards her. I wanted to walk away, but there was nowhere to even go. I told myself that I never wanted to hurt anyone anymore again. I came this close on doing so. The amount of shit I keep hearing from everyone just deprecating themselves into oblivion. There were just no reasons to.

I just stood there, waiting for what her response would be as I clenched my fists as I restrained my frustrations. My breath became unsteady as I closed my eyes to calm myself. Yuzuki began to stand up as I heard grass rustling with her dress. She placed a hand on her chest and kept her teary gaze at me. “... Never say anything about ending your life, Yuzuki.” I looked down. I suddenly grew very hesitant on what else to say. Everything that she dealt from her emotions and the days that past by that accumulated every inch of her despair. I knew of it from myself. “I know how that must be. But you had people looking over you. They all cared for you. Just ... not in a way that you wanted. Me?” I looked up. My eyes quivered as they opened. “I had nothing. No one. I was all by myself. Not even my mother, nor my twin. I ... I want to say that you are fortunate ... But-...” I shook my head as I tried to steady my breath. It was inevitable to try and find twists and turns to find words to describe that she was more of a better person than I was.

In reality, we were truly far from different. Would Luka feel the same way if she said these exact words to him ... ?

Suddenly, a hand was placed on my arm where my crest was once again. I slowly looked to my left and traced my eyes to her. “Thank you ... Luze.” Yuzuki’s soft gentle voice echoed. I turned fully around to meet her gaze. She was smiling softly and genuinely. “... For what?” I said quietly. Her hand slid down my arm towards my hand. She grasped it as she held it close to her as if she was giving out a prayer. My gaze grew wearily but steadily at her.

She closed her eyes for a few moments and opened them again. “Your words are enough. You and I have been through many similar yet different situations ... And I know that it must be really difficult for you to feel isolated, especially with your one and only mother. But know that your mother is more than proud of you despite from what you do. You and Luka made it this far and are still within her heart. She will absolutely never forget you both. Even your friends that fought with you. You still held onto their legacy and tread onward stronger with their strength combined. And Luka ... May not be the one from before in your eyes, but he still protects you even if you didn’t need it. He still looks out for his younger half no matter who you are. He will never fully let go of you.

Also ... It may be strange to say this. It’s actually astounding to know that I could relate my predicament with someone else’s. I know it must be hard to find the right words to say, and I understand that you are trying your best to keep me standing with no doubts. But talking to you alone like this, releasing so much that I held back is more than enough, Luze. I’m ... Sorry if I was very dramatic. That must be uncanny of me.” I shook my head. “Think nothing of it, Yuzuki. I was the same way ... We have our moments, I suppose.” “Don’t worry about it.” She whispered.

My eyes quivered as I looked down. Even if it means it’s just enough, it doesn’t sound as enough. However, she was able to smile through with that notion regardless. “... If only it was Luka standing in front of you right now.” I whispered. She let out a shaken breath as she continued to smile. “If only ... But I wouldn’t be able to represent myself to him after all that had happened. I’d figure you’re the most easiest since you had things around you that made me finally able to see you ... I just hope he doesn’t hate me if I do meet him one day.” I suddenly held her hand. I never quite realized how small her hands were compared to mine. “He would never. Yuzuki, I swear. Stop doubting yourself so much. I’ve dealt with many who have and I would rather not deal with it anymore longer than I would have to. You know that Luka cares for you deeply, more deeper than any bottom of the abyssal sea. He has proven to me multiple times that he would risk a limb to those he loves ... And that’s the both of us. Luka isn’t the one to give up so easily to those he cares for. If he sets his mind to those close to him, he would do his upmost to be the best guardian. I would hope you didn’t forget that about him.” Her eyes widened slightly as she forced a smile and closed her eyes from her leftover tears. “He’s still such a gentle Demon, is he?” I hesitated. “I suppose he is. Though I wouldn’t know if he would want to hear that outloud.” Yuzuki giggled at the thought. I slightly smiled wearily.

She sniffed a couple of times trying to steady her breath and closed her eyes. I grew worried as I rubbed the back of her hands with my thumbs and kept staring to reassure that I wasn’t going anywhere just yet. A few moments passed as she gazed at me and lowered both of our hands. She looked to be hesitant when her eyes looked towards the side. “Luze, I have a request. If you’ll take it.” I stared solemnly. “Of course. What is it?” Yuzuki sighed and looked up at me. Her body looked fragile when she let out her breath. “You know the direction to my room is within the mansion, do you? I- ... I want you to bring Luka to that place. Tell him ... Tell him everything that you heard from me. Tell him ... That I will never ever forget his love. That I said... ‘I love you’ as my final words.” I nodded. “... I will.”

“... And I also have one final request too, this time with you.” She suddenly said hesitantly once again. She seemed to act nervous for some reason. “My lady?” I asked bewilderly. “Can I-- ... Hug you for a second?” I had sworn her face flushed like a pink rose. My body became stiff and blinked twice at her uncanny request. “I ... Suppose you may.” Yuzuki’s face beamed gently as she slowly reached for me. However, she decided to place both of her hands on my cheeks and dragged me steadily closer as if she wanted to take a good look at my visage. It still amaze me how small Humes could be when standing in front of them. You can easily mistake Yuzuki as a flower.

I couldn’t tell if she felt relief and sadness as she tried to hold back the tears. I stared at her after knowing why she intended to do so. She definitely saw Luka within me.

I began to wrap my arms around her as she had done the same around my neck. She was small, fragile, like a flower, while mine, robust and tall compared to her. Her body began to tremble and I heard sobs near my ears. “... You feel like Luka.” She whispered softly. I closed my eyes and laid my chin on her shoulder.

I never mind how long she wanted to make this moment last for. So long as she was able to talk to anyone or “see” her lover once again. All the loneliness that she had were lifted the moment I arrived, it seemed. She was able to embrace someone once again for how long she has been waiting for. Her arms began to release me as I released my own.

Suddenly, a soft kiss was placed on my cheek. My eyes grew wide as I gazed at her. I unintentionally placed a hand to where she had pecked me. “... Yuzuki?” She giggled wholeheartedly. “I-If my brother were to see that right now-- ...” “My apologies!” She said as she tried to stifle her light laughter. “I couldn’t help it. I would have done the same to Luka, but he isn’t here. I just couldn’t resist. Don’t worry. Between you and me, this will be our little tiny secret. I will make sure he doesn’t scold you.” “That’s ... Reassuring, coming from you I suppose.” I smiled wryly. She possibly saw my face turn red again for the second time.

She smiled calmly as the light seem to be brighter behind her. “Luze, thank you so much for being here. It really means a lot to me that I was able to reach you. Even if you weren’t Luka, being present here is just enough. I am so glad that I get to see you in person, even if we may be just ‘spectrals’ in another realm. If by chance, there was a next time that we meet again, I want to be able to meet you and Luka at the same time. You have both been precious to me.” My mouth as slightly agape as she said those kind words. I smiled and nodded. “ ... I should be the one thanking you for inviting me here.” I began to kneel down and grasped her hands once again. Yuzuki was barely shocked at my sudden action as I held her hands together. “I suppose Luka would do this everytime he would give his pledge to you?” I teased.

She giggled. “I swear, you twins.” Yuzuki’s body began to glow. Particles of what looks like pyreflies from Infernus began to depart from her. I had a feeling that this would end sooner or later. I guess it was time. “Yuzuki. If there’s anything that need from me, anything at all. Words of advice, having small conversations, someone to vent your frustrations at, I will do my best to be there for you just like Luka has for the rest of your life line. You have to remember that we are not far from you and that you were never alone. So please, have faith just like you have always done with the rest of us. I will never leave your side.”

Yuzuki’s eyes narrowed gently as she smiled faintly. Tears streamed down once again. Her body became transparent as the pyreflies began to leave her. “For a second there, I thought you would say ‘you will never betray me’.” She jested from her final moments. “Thank you ... From the bottom of my heart, Luze.” Her hands disappeared from my grasp and the final wisps of light dissipated, leaving me to only see the pyreflies making their way up to the skies above the leaves. I stood up slowly still gazing at them. The breeze swept through me and the trees sang with their leaves dancing. Tears began to develop as I suddenly reached upward steadily to hold onto those lights. They kept fluttering further away from me ascending towards the heavenly skies. It made me wonder about my childhood when I first saw them. Were the pyreflies part of Yuzuki that made her ways through Infernus, guiding the lost to their destination? The landscape around me began to disappear into the white void. The rays of light blended all around as they shone brighter and merged together to end this world that Yuzuki loved dearly. The trees disappeared one by one. The grass beneath me turned white, but it wasn’t snow. The lake formed a white pond that extended leaving nothing. Everything grew quiet, until it was a deafening hush.

I began to close my eyes as if my vision also started to disappear with everything around me.

---

I gasped softly as everything around me was barely dark. I was laying flat on my back in bed instead of being face first on the patches of grass. My raven cawed one time as he hopped backward, surprised as I awoken. My eyes still wide as I felt real tears on the side of my face. I blinked twice. My right hand was left outstretched towards the ceiling of my quarters. I was back in the Twilight Mansion.

I suddenly got up and propped myself up with one arm. My head began to spin from getting up too fast which made me place a hand on my head to steady myself. I hesitated and closed my eyes. I began to rub my face making my way from my forehead to where I would cover my mouth, wiping away the excess of my tears. I slowly opened my eyes once more and pondered about everything that ensued. I was still wearing my white inner shirt and my hair was not tied up this time. I traced my leathered chain down to where my crossed charm was hiding inside my shirt and held it. “That was all real, was it?” I asked myself. Diomedes croaked softly and tilted his head. I looked towards him. He hopped to my side and flapped his wings to fix himself then proceeded to tilt his head twice.

I sighed heavily, averting my gaze away from my familiar for a minute then looked back at him. I scratched his chest as he fluffed up. “So it was really you who dragged me into that mess was it, my friend?” He croaked awkwardly as if he was saying “of course it was”. I scoffed subtly. “Then I guess it was indeed a good reason for that though ... and I thank you much for that, my friend.” I cocked an eyebrow and looked annoyed. “But give me a decent warning ahead of time. This was Yuzuki we were talking about.” He clamped his beak softly on three of my fingers.

I sighed and laid down once more as I loosely plopped back onto my pillow. My eyes were weary as I pondered staring at the ceiling. I had a lingering thought about what Yuzuki requested. I wondered if Luka knew about the room that she was captive in or how long she had to keep hiding the guilt she felt around him.

Did Luka ever truly understood how she really felt during her lives here on The Surface? There were just so many events that stirred within my mind. There was just no way I can keep up with any of it. I keep thinking that I am straying more and more from truths than I can ever imagine. This mansion, the Zweilts, Luka, and Yuki this time. They all have very hidden secrets that I myself can’t even find, even with my left eye. The irony to all of this was that I could sense truth and lies, but I can never sense the past nor future.

I had sometimes wish I can gain that much wisdom to see what truly goes on here or just about anyone on what happened to them. Everyone has their own story and I was able to pry into Yuzuki’s. Maybe Luka knew something about her inner turmoil yet he obviously wants to keep it a secret. Maybe those were the reasons that he didn’t want her back so that she doesn’t have to live through so much burdens anymore. If that were the case,

... How would I even tell my brother about what just happened? I wondered how he will even began to take all of this in again. He’s the one to try and forget then move on. I would hope he would believe me because all of this was coming straight from Yuzuki herself.

I sighed quietly wondering about numerous questions that formed within my head all the while looking towards my raven just in case he would make any strange moves again. He was sound fast asleep by me. I began to feel myself drift to sleep once more, closing my eyes. Everything was quiet once again but at least the noises of bats squeaked quietly at the moonlight and the cold breeze sang once more, taking me away like a soft lullaby.

Luka and Yuzuki deserve more than what I had imagined.

Part 2 - (To be continued)

#Unheard Words #Precious Light #Yuzuki Giou #Yuzuki #Luze #Luze Crosszeria #Uraboku #Uragiri Wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru #Betrayal Knows My Name

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