#Dina lover

[ladyblackbirdart]

A little Dina practice for @cerealgray 😙😙

No I’m not procrastinating anything what are you on about? 🤔🙄🤗

[hunnylagoon]

Right Where You Left Me

Pt1: Coming Down With Me

Ellie Williams x reader

I once met a girl with skin like kiwi. Even the butterflies were drawn to her, landing on the top of her nose, the dip in her palm. But the kiwi stung my tongue, scarred my lips and made me bleed. I do not care. Cover me in your kiwi kisses, burn my mouth and scar my flesh. Bleach my eyes and dip my heart in lemon juice. Sing your sickly sweet words until my ears bleed.

Premise: You and Ellie were childhood best friends until you grew up. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find their way back to each other.

Warnings: Angst / reader has religious issues / people are mean lol / best friends to enemies to lovers / roommate! Ellie

Part two here!

Part three here!

Part four here!

I know everything about you,

You know everything about me.

I had always been bound to the earth while Ellie danced with the stars in the night sky among delusion and dreams. Though, more so than anything, we were bound to one another.

Our parents were friends, even before we were born. They met at summer camp when they were teenagers, the same camp that Ellie and I were eventually shipped off to every summer. Of course, I have no recollection of when I was an infant, only stories that my parents shared with me; My dad told me that I learned to crawl backwards before I learned to crawl forwards. Joel kept a photo album of his girl.

I can't remember days of crawling around and babbling incoherently, but I can tell you what I remember.

Five years old- Kindergarten

Despite the air being unbearable hot, it was infused with excitement as Ellie and me set foot in the petting zoo. I had never seen so many animals in one place, my little brain was going nuts. Accompanied by the gentle hum of content animals, the aroma of straw, and the distant melody of joyful chatter, the petting zoo rang true to its rustic charm.

Ellie, with her auburn curls bouncing in the breeze, led the way, her eyes widened at the sight of a fluffy alpaca lazily grazing in the sunshine. I giggled as we approached a pen filled with adorable piglets, their tiny snouts sniffing the pure air far away from the dirty stench of the city.

Our parents, watching with affectionate smiles, guided us to the lamb enclosure where soft, woolly creatures nuzzled against tiny palms. Ellie's fingers gently traced the contours of a lamb's ear, and she couldn't resist a delighted squeal as she felt the velvety nose of a goat.

As the afternoon sun cast a warm glow on the scene, the families strolled through the meandering paths, passing by a pond where ducks quacked merrily. Ellie and I, hand in loveable hand, marvelled at the wonders of the animal kingdom, our hearts brimming with the pure joy of discovery and a blooming friendship.

Seven years old- Grade Two

On this particular day, Ellie and I had been messing around in her backyard; that's all we did on the weekends at that age, you couldn't get us to go inside. We spent the morning entwined in daffodils and hyacinth that Joel has so tenderly nurtured, careful not to crush the dainty flowers beneath our wild flailing bodies. 

We had the brilliant idea to paint rocks so we had been searching her yard for the perfect flat stones we had in mind. Ellie picked up a rock and immediately threw it back down, jumping away with a shriek.

This had piqued my curiosity (As well as Joels who sat on the back porch, watching us), I went over to where she stood petrified and found nothing more than a little snake staring up at her. I dropped the stones I had been carrying and bent over to get a better look at it, it was brown and had a few white vertical stripes cascading up its thin body. 

I slowly moved my hand outwards to touch but was swiftly interrupted by Joel scooping me up "That's enough of that kiddo." 

Nine years old- Grade Four

Joel's house garnered an expansive backyard and just past the old fence that Ellie and I had thrown one too many softballs at was a lush forest. I would always clamour up the wood fence and poke my little head over it to try and gather a glimpse of wildlife, Ellie usually had to give me a little boost. "Hold still!" She hissed with her arms wrapped around my torso to help lift me, my scrawny arms shook as I tried to pull myself up even further.

The wood rot of the ancient fence finally set in and with the both of us pressing our mighty weight against it collapsed with the fence. We heard the splitting of wood, I got the worst end of the stick, toppling over and putting my hands out to protect myself. I could've sworn that I heard my wrist break like a crunch.

While I did what felt like a three-sixty frontflip over the fence just for my small head to come down on the end of it with a solid smack, Ellie had just flopped on top of it, green eyes widening in shock when she saw my once straight arm now had an abnormal bump coming out from my wrist. "What's wrong with your hand?"

"I don't know I'm probably dying!" I screamed as loud as my voice could carry, that was the first time I had felt adrenaline run through my veins. "You killed me!"

"No, I didn't!" She retorted, scrambling off the fence and back up to her feet. She was clad in a Jurassic Park T-shirt that she practically was swimming in and those pink and orange plaid Bermuda shorts that any kid in the 2000s owned. "Dad!" Ellie yelled, calling for Joel.

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and finally, I released the sob that had been building up in my throat. She was almost dumbstruck and just ended up kneeling and wrapping her arms around me in a hug.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She muttered.

10 years old- Grade Five

Ellie had been practicing guitar the entire time I was at her house, Joel had gifted her his old guitar and she was so set on perfecting every cord, every half-hour she would ask for a song recommendation and then flip through the songbook she got to find it.

I was curled up in her bed reading The Hunger Games over again "Els, are you team Peeta or Gale?" I was always at Ellie's house, mine was too busy all the time; I had three siblings, Naomi and Aaron who were twins and two years younger than me and my brother Elijah who was three years older than me. I loved going to her house on Saturdays so I could sleep in and wriggle my way out of going to church. Even though her house was right across the street from mine and my parents would bang on Joel's door, he always covered for me.

"Uh," She was distracted by something in her songbook "Team Katniss?"

I nod in approval to myself as she isn't paying attention "You know who Gale reminds me of?" I ask and without Ellie giving me a response I answer anyway "Luke, I think I kind of like him."

Those are the words that get her to look at me "Ew, he's so weird."

"He's nice to me."

She wrinkles her nose in distaste then shrugs, returning to her guitar which sits awardly in her scrawny frame.

12 years old- Grade Seven

"Fuck!" I yell, kicking the grimy green dumpster in the graffiti-covered ally out of anger, though I kicked it a little too hard now my foot hurts I refuse to admit it "Fuck I hate them!"

Ellie leans against the brick wall on the opposite side of the alley, our bikes discarded on the ground while I hopelessly rant to my friend about my parents. She doesn't say much, just little nods of agreement. My parents had caught me skipping church and they laid into me, saying that I had no respect for them or god and whether that was true or not didn't matter, I was full of pre-teen angst and needed to call my friend to go for a bike ride around town.

"She fucking tore my room apart, I never see them get mad at Aaron or Naomi!" I drag my hands down my face before I look back at the dumpster and kick it again "Ow, cunt!" I'm now hopping on one foot while my knee bends my other leg and I hold my beaten red Converse, covered in doodles, to soothe the pain of my poor toes. It's moments like this that remind me why I love Ellie, because as stupid as I look hobbling around and cussing, she doesn't laugh at me even though I know she wants to.

After a little bit of me aimlessly yelling I finally wind down. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to remember those breathing exercises that we were taught at school assemblies. "Thanks for listening to me talk shit, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," She shrugs "I've seen you do worse."

This cracks a smile on my face, I turn my head and am met with the Jackson skyline, a beautiful pink sunset on the horizon "Sun's setting," I say.

"Sleepover?" Ellie asks.

"Sleepover," I confirm.

13 years old- Grade Eight

We were thirteen when our parents shoved cash into our hands and dropped us at the mall to go back to school shopping by ourselves for the first time. Every parent's nightmare was a busy mall so when they figured us old enough to venture into the dreaded foodcourt on our own, believed they were taking that opportunity. 

Ellie had bought a couple of T-shirts and hoodies here and there, not too particular about what she was buying, though I was very nit-picky over what I wore so I forced Ellie to judge every single outfit that I wore and rate it, she gave the same answer every single time "It looks fine."

"Cool but I don't wanna look fine, I wanna look pretty," I say in frustration, walking back into the dressing room to try on another outfit. Ellie is sitting in the fitting room on a pink velvet couch, arms crossed and waiting for me to finish. "How's this?" I ask, walking out of the changing stall and giving her a little twirl.

"It looks fine- I mean good, everything looks good on you." She sounds almost exasperated. Ellie's hair was still that vibrant auburn colour that my mother was obsessed with, it had yet to fade out into a duller brown with age.

"Really?" I perk up just the slightest.

"Yeah, you look really pretty." She gives me a little nod of confirmation. I know that she's only saying that because she wants to go to the food court and get a cinnamon bun but I believe her anyway.

14 years old- Grade Nine

We were just nearing the end of the second half of our soccer game. It was the tournament and we were only a point away from placing first in the league, the thought of it had kept me up all week I was running off of Subway sandwiches and Gatorade. 

Riley (the midfielder) swiftly passed the ball to me before she was surrounded by the other team's defence, I looked up to the clock and there were only seconds left in the match. I let my instincts take over, my parents forcing me into soccer since elementary school was not going to wind up useless. My footwork took me up the right wing just before the penalty box. 

I wasn't paying enough attention to notice the tall blonde girl in a slick back ponytail closing in on me. I hear Ellie shout my name and that's all I need to make this last pass, I barely even looked up before power-driving the ball to Ellie who was merely six metres away from me. I slipped onto the muddied field with that kick, watching Ellie waste no time to score our final goal the second her cleat touched the ball. 

The clock deadlocks and I drag myself off the ground running towards my best friend, I jump on her almost taking her down with me though she manages to steady herself. "I fucking love you!" I scream hugging her with all of the force I can muster. She hugs me in return, unable to get any words out between her laughs. The team is quick to swarm us, everyone is shouting about our well-deserved victory but not one person is louder than Joel in the stands.

15 years old- Grade Ten

Snow was falling as I stood in the foyer of the high school, still waiting for my date for the winter formal to arrive. Conner had asked me out weeks ago, we hadn't talked much since though I just figured that was because he was shy. I even left school early to get ready and spent hours meticulously pinning every hair into place and adjusting my navy blue satin dress so it would drape across my body in just the right way.

My sister, Naomi was an aspiring makeup artist so I let her dust my eyelids in silver glitter, I forced Warren to drive me. All of that was just for me to get stood up. Conner hadn't texted me all day, I knew he wasn't coming that didn't stop me from forcing denial on myself. "Hey," I heard a soft voice sound behind me, I wasn't surprised to see Ellie. Even though our parents were no longer friends, we were close as ever.

"Hi," My voice was hushed and feeble.

"The dance started an hour ago," She said, that night she had been wearing a white button-up with a pair of jeans and her hair half up. It was clear the dance wasn't as big a deal to her as it was to me. All she had done was ask Riley to go with her and call it a day. Despite her lack of effort, she looks beautiful as ever "I don't think he's coming," She said bluntly.

That's the exact moment I felt myself crack, tears welled up in my eyes and I lurched forward to hug her, flailing my arms helplessly to search for comfort "Then why did he ask me to go with him?" My sobs were drowned out by the sound of Kesha blasting in the overcrowded gym.

"I don't know, but he's an idiot for standing you up," Ellie holds me close and I never want her to let go "I wouldn't have ever done that to you."

16 years old- Grade Eleven

This is where things begin to fall apart. I found Ellie on the back porch of some random guy's house at a party. "I figured I would find you out here," I say, taking a seat next to her on the wooden steps, I hug my knees close to my chest.

"What's up?" Beside me, Ellie is unnervingly calm, she nurses a joint, taking a long hit and letting the smoke turn to clouds. 

"Conner kissed me," I say cutting to the chase

I can tell she doesn't like the thought, she hated Conner, ever since he stood me up at the winter formal but she bites her tongue "You guys gonna date?"

"I think so."

"Good for you."

"I don't know if I liked it," My eyebrows are furrowed, and I pull my knees in even further, inhaling the crisp autumn air and the smell of Ellie, she smells like cannabis, firewood and bar soap. 

"What do you mean?" Ellie puts out the end of her joint and tucks what remains of it into an empty Altoids container.

"Nothing," I dismiss it, "It doesn't matter, I just wanted to talk to you," Ellie had softened every burden for me since we were girls. "Um, so, my parents are sending me to boarding school next year."

"No, they're not-

"They are."

Ellie doesn't seem so calm anymore, she adjusts her body to face mine and she's so close I swear to god I could've counted every freckle on her face. "Why, what did you do?" The way she looks at me makes me wish that she was a boy.

"Nothing!" I retort "They think I'm straying from god, it's a Christian school." That was my code for 'they think I have a crush on you and I rather not get disowned by my super religious parents!'

"come stay with me and Joel-

"Ellie, please," I place a hand on her thigh "I don't think I can get away from this one."

That was at the end of September, it only got worse from there. I partially wished that I didn't tell Ellie that I had to leave, every time we hung out it just felt like words were hanging between us like birds on a wire and neither of us could say what we wanted. I forced myself to distance myself from her, I didn't know how else to handle my feelings. 

She would blow up my phone and come by my house even visit my work but I just told her that I was busy. I could tell that she didn't believe my excuses for a second, she had English with my new boyfriend, Conner and would get him to relay messages and notes to me.

It didn't get easier to ignore her, my family prying about where she had been. I never told my parents that Ellie was gay, though I know they had always had a suspicion and that's why they could never love her all the way completely, the way Joel loved me and looked out for me. My mom and dad liked that I swapped out Ellie for Conner, by February, my dad even started to call him son. 

In March Ellie and I had stopped talking completely, she gave up on texting me and coming by my house just for my siblings to lie about my whereabouts. It hurt to see the resentment gleam in her eye every time she passed me in the hallway. 

She didn't speak a word to me until the start of the summer bonfire which was custom in our town. If I had known she would be there I never even would have thought about going. I rather not rehash this awful night, not right now just know that it ended with some alcohol, a bit of blood in the sand and me telling Ellie 'I would pick him over you every single time.' Yikes, that's not a good look for me. I spent the rest of my summer burying her in the back of my mind until boarding school finally came upon me and I graduated with friends I didn't like in a place that didn't feel like home. 

I was sixteen then now I'm nineteen, no longer a girl but not yet a woman. Those were some key moments of our friendship. I'm not so sure why I felt so mature at the age of sixteen. I had taken a gap year and loved every minute of it, I backpacked in Australia, worked as a camp counsellor in the summer then left to work at a turtle conservatory in Bali, I was making pennies but the experience was worth it. 

I arrived at my new home sunkissed with Ellie far in the back of my mind. I didn't know much about who I would be rooming with, I had only spoken to Dina over a Zoom call who was a friendly girl with warm eyes and ink-black hair spilling over her shoulders. I just prayed that none of them were Craigslist killers.

It took me entirely too long to find parking, when I finally did, I grabbed two of my suitcases, unable to hold anything else, the rest of the boxes jammed into my car would have to wait. I read over the text that Dina sent me what seemed to be a million times to make sure I had the right address. It was a small-ish one-story flat with brown walls that had white accents along corners and the doorway with a wood-panelled gable roof. As far as college housing went, I was happy. It looked like something I would've made in the Sims when I was a teenager. 

I walk to the front door, the entrance is framed by intricately carved moulding, its details telling a story of craftsmanship and tradition. The wood, polished to a warm, inviting glow, exudes a sense of richness and history. I knocked on the door and heard a voice shouting that she would get it.

The door swings open and I'm met face to face with Dina "Hey!" She smiled "It's nice to meet you, I think you'll like it here," She held the door wide open, motioning for me to go in, and I obliged. "Let me give you a tour." Dina is clad in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt and her hair has been pulled back into a messy ponytail.

The layout of the house seemed somewhat odd to me, there was a corridor straight ahead when you walked in, the first room was the laundry room and contained the washer and dryer with some hampers and shelves of detergent and laundry freshener. "This is the laundry room, we have a wash schedule along with a chore schedule so we will put you on that tonight," Dina told me, I just nodded politely in response feeling a little too awkward and out of place to say anything. 

"Alright so this is the kitchen, there's a half bathroom beside it," She says, swinging her arms wide open for exaggeration I can see the chore chart hanging on the walls, it's written in chalk, and it is the laundry schedule. There are little laminated tags with each person's name on them, though I can't quite make out the names from where I am standing. The fridge is covered in postcards, magazine cutouts, polaroids, and bright magnets of papayas and flowers, I automatically assumed this was Dina despite not knowing the other roommates. The kitchen is open with no walls to hide it, the oven and dishwasher are built into counters against the walls as well as the sink which i spotless at the moment, there isn't a dining table but a kitchen island with stools. Past the island you can see the living room, there are two grey couches with decorative pillows and fuzzy throw blankets, a coffee table that looked handcrafted with care and of course a TV. 

Have I mentioned there are plants everywhere? Like everywhere. "Okay, so," Dina keeps on moving and I trail behind with my suitcases, over there is my room and Cat's and Abby's," She points to the left of the living room where there is a short hallway with three doors, one on each wall of it. "There's Cat now," She waves at her roommate.

Cat is relatively tall, she has black hair that's tied into a bun, and she's wearing plaid pyjama pants and a black tank top, I can see her abundance of tattoos. She has one sleeve of laurel cascading up her arm and the other is patchwork done right, each separate piece blends almost seamlessly into the next. "I like your tattoos," I say, not wanting to sit in any more silence.

She grins at me "Thanks, love," I nod in response to her, Cat looks down at the suitcases that I'm lugging around "Dina, take this poor girl to her room already."

"I was just getting there," Dina teases and motions for me to follow her "So over here is the bathroom and of course your room, I left your copy of the house key on your mattress," She opens it up. The bedroom is completely blank aside from the boxed bedframe, shelf, vanity and mattress that I had to send over prior. There's a built-in closet in the wall. 

I put my suitcases on the ground "I'm gonna grab the rest of my stuff from my car," I offer up a tight-lipped smile.

"Wait a second," She takes my hand and then knocks on the bedroom door parallel to mine. "I'm coming in!" Dina announces pushing the door open, there's a brunette girl hunched over her desk. My breath hitches in my throat when she turns around "This is Ellie."

I can see the panic that momentarily takes over Ellie when she spots me before it's replaced by a false coolness, "Hey," She says before turning back to her laptop and putting her headphones back on. It felt like my heart had shut down, why the fuck did I sign the lease?

"Sorry," Dina shuts Ellie's door "She's not the friendliest of the bunch but she'll warm up to you eventually," Dina walks to the front door with you Abby should be around here somewhere."

I had gotten so frustrated trying to set up my bed frame that I sheepishly left my room and asked for help, god bless Abby. She was putting everything together so easily, I watched her in awe as she finished adding the final screw to my bedframe. "Want help setting up the mattress?"

"Yes, please," I say, I grab one end of the mattress while Abby gets the other, she tells me to lift on three and I listen, she carries the majority of the weight but it still feels like an accomplishment on my part. "So does everyone here go to Northridge?"

"Yeah, except for Cat, she's a tattoo apprentice."

"Cool, cool," I search for words, "What are you majoring in?"

"Kinesiology," It makes sense, I could've called that by looking at the fit gym rat who was now sitting on my bed. "You?"

"Wildlife biology,"

"So you like animals and conservation and stuff?"

"Mhm," I nod "It's honestly kind of hard to not have any animals in my life." I was missing all my pets back home, when I wasn't with them I was working at a conservatory or at a summer camp where I took care of all of the horses, and Ellie's dog, Achilles.

"You'll get used to it, living with Dina is the same thing as living with an animal," She smiles and for the first time, I feel comfortable. Abby watching me with her blue eyes as I begin to unpack my abundance of boxes, I kind of just dump everything onto the ground because I can't remember which box has what, the first thing I search for are my coat hangers. I dump out a box with a bible, wall cross, and rosery and golden cross necklace from a box of random knickknacks. "You religious?"

"Kind of?" I question it myself "Not really, it's just my family, I packed that stuff to make my mom happy."

Abby nods "I get it."

"You do?"

She backtracks "No, but I can try to."

I shake my head, "I wouldn't try if I were you, I spent nineteen years trying to get away from it." I was sure other Christian homes were healthy but mine wasn't one of them, the way my parents obsessed over Jesus was honestly frightening.

"Hey, do you wanna come watch a movie when your done unpacking?" Abby asked, "Get to know your new roommates a little better."

I don't entirely want to, I wasn't ready to talk to Ellie. I still hadn't wrapped my head around the fact that I was living with her and that she was pretending she didn't know me, despite this, my words betrayed me "For sure."

I sat on one of the couches beside Abby, I made myself as small as I could, thinking that maybe I could make myself disappear. Cat and Ellie crammed themselves on the other while Dina took the plush armchair. I felt so out of place everyone here had relationships, I had one with Ellie before I severed it 'Grown Ups' was playing on the flatscreen though it seemed I was the only one paying attention.

The four girls all laughed and talked their way through the movie, Abby, Cat, and Dina would ask me a question here and there but I didn't know them well enough to pitch in. I kept telling myself that I needed to push through, if Spiderman could do it, so could I.

I didn't even finish the movie, halfway through I excused myself saying I was tired which wasn't necessarily a lie. It was difficult to fathom how well Ellie was playing it off, acting like she never met me. I walk into the bathroom, clean towel in hand, ready to scrub off the stress of today. Beside the mirror, I see a cardstock poster decorated with bright markers and doodles.

HOUSE RULES

#1 No underwear left in the bathroom

#2 Wash your dishes

#3 Break it? Tell Abby

#4 No smoking inside

#5 Privates are private!

#6 Pls don't drink and drive (We have a couch)

#7 Give your beloved roommates a heads up before having someone over

#8 This is a residence of women so the seat goes down!!!

#9 Respect the bedrooms

#10 Having sex? Keep it quiet

#11 NO DRAMA!!!!!!!!

#12 Follow chore and wash chart

#13 Don't eat what's not yours! (Without asking)

I finish reading the last bit and mutter to myself  "Wasn't planning on it." I run the water so hot that it feels cold and I'm quick to not use all of the hot water and have my roommates hate me on my first night here. Everyone has their little drawers in the bathroom, mine is empty aside from some floss and cotton pads that the girl before me left behind. I make a mental note to make use of my bathroom drawer tomorrow and fill it with makeup remover or conditioner, or something like that.

Brushing my teeth and wrapping myself in a strawberry towel that I had purchased at a craft fair, I open the bathroom door, I can see the light of the TV and the sound of chatter from the living room. However, I ignore it and make a B-line to my bedroom. Even though I had spent hours unpacking and pinning up posters it still didn't seem homey.

I slip into shorts and a t-shirt, leaving my hair as is and throw myself onto my bed. My towel is discarded onto my bathroom floor. When I turn on my phone I am bombarded my messages from my parents, my mother has probably sent me twelve Google pins to the closest churches, I answer her with a thumb-up emoji and settle into my bed to scroll through social media and see how much fun all of my friends are having. 

Fucking Ellie. She's plaguing my thoughts, I think of what I said to her and it makes me cringe, I want to smother myself with my satin pillow. I don't even have food to eat, grocery shopping wasn't something that I put on my priority list and right about now I was but Ellie, god, why was I such a dick? Because I didn't know what else to do- whatever, I was a scared teenager. What would you have done? Probably kiss her you lesbo.

Lord, it makes me sick to think about what could've been.

15 years old- Grade Ten

Ellie and I were sitting at a fire pit at her uncle Tommy's lake house. It was a Fourth of July party except we were the only teenagers there; everyone else was friends of Tommy and Maria or some distant relatives of Ellie's or children of said people.

After five years of practicing day and night, Ellie had just about mastered the acoustic guitar, she played and I sang, wrapped up in her flannel, I was tucked close next to her. 

She struck every cord perfectly and I began to sing absentmindedly, the song that had been carved into my brain. Ellie looked so insanely beautiful illuminated only by fire and the stars that hung in the sky, if it hadn't been a sin I would've kissed her.

Talking to her felt as holy as praying to god but I knew it was as sinful as worshipping the devil. 

If it was so wrong why was I born in God's image?

Her gentle hand strummed on the chords of the guitar, the same calloused hand that had once turned water into wine. Her laughter was the sound of a church choir 

I wish I told her how much I liked her but what would've happened if I did? What would my parents think, they would kill me. 

Part of me didn't care how my parents would react, if I spoke up, I could say goodbye to my inheritance and having college paid for. Maybe that was an unfair assumption to make on my part. Ugh. FUCK, I don't know, let's get to the next part of the story.

I couldn't sleep that night, I thought maybe a glass of water would soothe me, well I didn't really think that but I was hungry and thirsty and water was the only thing in that house I had the right to ingest. I figured that I could fill myself with water and zip to Denny's in the morning then grab some groceries.

Poking my head out of my door, I checked to see if anyone was still awake before gingerly taking hushed steps towards the kitchen, I was trying to be as light as Thumbelina. I hadn't noticed Ellie bumming on the couch, scrolling through her phone. 

"You cooking all of that non-existent food you brought?" She jeered. Oh, now she wanted to talk to me.

"I was gonna have some warm water soup for dinner and chew on pistachio shells from the cup holder in my car for dessert," I answer "I'm treating myself tonight." She didn't think it was funny at all, a few years ago she would've been cackling at my subpar joke, but now she just seemed unamused. "Sheesh, tough crowd."

She stays silent.

"You used to think I was funny," I say.

"I also used to think the tooth fairy was real."

"Harsh," I mutter. Turning the tap on and sticking a finger underneath it to test the temperature. I put my hummingbird mug underneath it and let it fill. "Hey, Ellie," She doesn't answer "Have you told them any bad things about me?"

She nearly scoffs "No, believe it or not, I don't talk about you, I don't even think about you," There's venom in her voice "You haven't crossed my mind since you walked through that door."

"Why are you pretending you don't know me-

"Because I don't fucking like you," She says it like it's so obvious and it honestly is in this moment "Just because you're pretty and you act like a sweet little Christain girl, that doesn't mean shit."

"I'm not trying to act like anything-

"Yeah, well it seems pretty insincere to me," Ellie seethed and I could feel a sting in my heart, I would do some pretty horrendous things for a time machine right about now.  I can tell that there won't be any salvaging for this, she hates me to death and rightfully so. 

This is where I give up "Okay, sorry," I grab my hummingbird mug and retreat to my room.

I endured four months of that.

Ellie was pushed to the back of my mind while I ran through classes and got a job as a waitress at a stake house. I did everything in my power to keep myself busy, to keep her out of my head but she was always there, she hung around like a song I can't shake, like I'm haunted by the melody. 

Some nights when the city decides to quiet down I can hear her play guitar, and I'll quietly hum along to it. Songs she used to sing for me, she now sings for another woman, another soul. I knew that she had girls over, but I never got to meet them as Ellie did everything in her power to pretend I didn't exist.

The only communication I got with her was in the roommate's group chat, and it was always brief.

Ellie: Having a friend over tomorrow night

D-manz: Friend? With benefits??????????

Kit-Cat: Nah they're hardly even friends, just benefits

Abs: Don't get her pregnant

Me: 👍

As long as I was with the girls, Ellie was not. She avoided me like the plague, it was like she despised my existence. If we go clubbing, she takes a separate taxi, petty if you ask me. The girls knew something happened between us but they couldn't pinpoint what it was. It was Dina's conspiracy that Ellie used to date one of my friends and broke her heart. While I bonded with Cat, Dina, and Abby, Ellie would pretend to like me. She would occasionally laugh at my jokes or ask how my shift was when Dina was in the room. 

Trust me when I say I would rather forget than dwell on it but it was impossible. I know that I'm nothing more than an obstacle to her, a stain on her bedsheets, a sore in her mouth, but she was still my diamond in the rough. I will willingly ignore all of her cutthroat words and her jagged edges. 

Because I know everything about us.

[tookthe-405]

On our way

Chapter 1 :

We’ll keep falling on each other

DONATIONS & LINKS 🇵🇸

DAILY CLICK🍉

Loser!ellie x ex-bsf!reader

ROADTRIPPPP

authors note: first chapterrr🤪 ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO PLS

And pls tell me if the chapters should be shorter and what kind of perspective I should write from (Ellie pov will come later when I’ll fit), LONG AF

Summary: modern Jackson au!

you and Ellie were best friends through your childhood. Now your just neighbours who act like enemies towards each other, but after an incidence you both decide to run away together.

Joel lives 💯

warnings: anxiety , Panik attack?, alcohol, smoking, feeling of throwing up (only mentioned once) smut in future chapters!!, chaotic and stupid arguing between reader and Ellie, school anxiety, messy af (I mostly write at night when the demons come out🐺)

(ellie is 18 and reader is 17 (soon 18))

Readers pov:

6/25

You couldn’t remember the fall out.

For a matter of fact you couldn’t remember anything that happened that night.

You just knew that the next morning Ellie and you weren’t friends anymore. You guys weren’t anything, just total strangers who knew more about each other than any other.

“Iced Coffee and 4 chocolate donuts should be your order”

Your head snaps up and an older guy holds out a bag of donuts.

“Yes, thank you”

You quickly scurry out of the waiting crowd, out the dinner and into the summer air.

2:25 p.m. If Jody would finally pick you up, the both of you might only be 10 minutes late to the game.

While you're waiting, you take a donut out of the bag and realize as you're eating that you don't have a cold ice coffee in your other hand.

"Fuck”

you really wanted that coffee, and by any normal logic you should just go back.

But the fear of embarrassment won. so you decide to just wait outside without a coffee, feeling the dizziness of the lack of sleep in your brain.

The day before was the last exam and you couldn’t sleep the whole night, because of your anxious thoughts that are so unjustified that it’s actually embarrassing.

you watched the cars drive by, as you wait for Judy to pull over.

Today was the last school day. Ever. This morning was the last morning you would ever be in a high school class room to study.

After waiting for a while you hear the horn of Judy`s car or rather her parents car, since both of you are broke and only one of you has their license.

"i forgot my coffee" you complain as you collapse into the passager seat.

"yeah but you didn`t forgot the donuts and thats the really important thing here" Jody happily takes the box full of donuts, out of your hand

"footbal games always stress me out" you rummage through your bag, looking for gumm or just something that will help your body through this hard time.

"i hope my exams were good" you tell her anxious.

"It was our last fucking day, dont worry about something that is over soon. Those last days don`t really matter no one cares"

"I do"

Judy scoffs, puting the donute to her mouth again, all while looking at the street.

"I know, thats your problem. Really, you need to fix that. Your grades are amazing and whatever college you wanna go to, will say yes."

Now you scoff.

"right then why haven’t they replied yet then?"

"because you were too anxious too send your application, you almost threw up in my room"

Your face contorts at the memory. Judy's poor cat hissed at you the whole time because you couldn't sit still at all.

"yeah sorry he gets like that, but not all cats are this easy to annoy i swear"

Your giggle fills the car and you share the last donute, as judy tries to find a parking spot which is obviossly not that easy anymore.

"goddamit those wild people are so greedy" her hands grab the steerig wheel harder, but theres simply no other free spot anymore.

You grow even more annoyed now.

The thoughts in your head take more space than you usually allow them.

The whole morning was shit, the whole day is shit and your life is fucked if you don’t get into university.

"i think we need to use the other one" judy says

"then we`ll have to run through the whole fucking school, were already late, Malik is playing!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she looks at you, thinking, and finally sighs.

"get out I’ll park the car" You immediantly regret snapping at her.

"you dont have to-"

she interrupts you (no suprise)

"bro get out of my car. It’s my fault we`re too late anyway and we both know im only here for the fries"

For a few seconds you hesitate, but then you grab your bag and the donut, and get out the car. Outside, a warm brise tickles your skin, now that the sun is shining right on your face. You pinch you eyes.

Judy dissapers around the corner and you wave, hoping she saw it, but the worry leaves with her because you start running towards the football field.

The whole row was full, every seat. You try to push your way through the crowd on the front, which didn't make it any easier because everyone was pushing forward against the bar to see better.

And it was so loud, every type of noises from every angle. This is your last game of course everyone will be loud, Jesus you’ll be loud, but the game hasn’t even started.

Arriving in the almost last row, Lyla waves to you and you sprint towards her.

"I don't know how you manage to save us seats, thank you so much," You almost scream, because the large group sitting behind her started singing the fucking national anthem.

lyla quickly hugs you and sits right back down. "I don't know how either, but here you go. Where's Judy?"

Her gaze wanders behind you to look out for her, as if judy is hiding behind you "Looking for another parking spot and getting us some fries"

You feel the light box in your hand and remember the one donut inside it.

“Here we’ve left you a donut”

“How generous” lyla replies smirking

Your attention turns to the football field. No one’s there.

“Everyone is still in the cabins, you're not as late as you think" she adds while slurping her milshake.

Malik is Lylas brother and a good friend of yours. Even Judy likes him, and that's saying something.

After the "incident" you tried so hard to find another group of friends, that one day it actually happened.

Which wasnt easy, before ellie you didnt relly need other friends. You also didnt want other ones. You always thought she felt the same way.

Her company, her words, her feelings and thoughts were all you wanted.

"Holy shit im not late!"

Judy's loud voice pulls you out of your thoughts. She quickly sits down next to you and hands you the large french fries package. You grin at her and pass them on to lyla. The loud noises became quieter and quieter, which made you hear the microphone voice.

"Dear seniors and juniors, After weeks full of learning and exams, one last football game with our beloved team and a guest team of their choice should be enough for you. I don't understand why you wanted to have this when every one of you’ve seen so many other games, but as you want. That’s the last one really though, please."

Judy giggles at the voice of the principal, but with empathy rather than mockery.

"Poor Ms. Servopoulos, juniors and seniors are not easy. The Other Class's prank surpassed everything"

lylas eyes widened at the memory. "Which of the 20 One?" She asks, leaning a bit over my lap to hear judy better.

"The one where they all had their tables outside at the_" Judy's bright voice gets stuck in the air, and she looks past me with squinted eyes in dismay.

You know why and didn't want to turn around.

But you do it anyway.

She wore her typical short baggy shorts and a red oversize t shirt with a fucking beanie , which makes her look like the love child of Adam Sandler and Jesse Pinkman.

You’d be happy to laugh at her if she didn't look so fucking good. But you chuckle a bit in your head at the Beanie, because it’s fucking june.

She looks down at you , just standing there.

Ellie has always been a bit taller than you. You might be sitting right know, but you still know That hasn't changed yet. You don't have to get up to be sure. You would notice if she grew even 1 cm. You don't know if she would still recognize that about you.

The familiar, soft and light brown freckles on her face. As a tween you always wanted to connect them, to find out how it would turn out. Or how she would look. Or react. You wanted to make her laugh so bad it hurt.

"Seth told me to bring this too you"

The Ice Caffee, with your name on it, is suddenly right in front of your face.

"Why should I accept it? It's already warm anyway" The irritated pitch in your voice cannot be ignored

Elie's gaze remains neutral, but there was some caution in her expression. "He forced me when I was paying, just take it and throw it away."

"Why didn't you throw it away?"

"Because im at a point where I listen to that old man for my benefits. Seth hates me already. He didn't even tell me about the senior special last week" she protests

You roll your eyes in annoyance.

"i dont give a shit about you or the now hot coffee"

Your argument became more intense, Judy and lyla exchanged glances but stayed out of it. You want to sort out your shit yourself and they know that.

"just fucking throw it away ellie!"

"No, I'm sitting at the top and have to go down all the fucking stairs and-"

"I don't care Ellie"

The people around slowly became aware of the both of you screaming, and you wonder for a second how strange you both must look right now. How you line up like little kids. But ellie also hurt the child version of you. God she has hurt so fucking many versions of you.

"just be happy that I’m even bringing this too you, i didnt really had to do that"

Her hand holds the plastic cup so hard in front of your face that it looks like it's about to explode.

The fact that she thinks she has a right to be angry with you bothers you even more, as you try to hold back your tears. You try to imagine her as adam sandler, screaming at you in this fucked up voice from grown ups, to make the tears go away.

"right i didn’t ask you to do anything, you decided to be so stupid and come over here"

she chuckles sligtly at your words, really pissed now. "you bitch-"

The last words never came out of her mouth. But the coffee out the cup. On your shirt.

Frightened, you take a loud breath in and stand up. Ellie has already put a safe distance between the both of you and her own mouth is open with surprise and startle.

Behind her stands a paralyzed Joshua, with his hand on his mouth.

"I swear, he ran into me...," she babbles desperately to herslef, waving her hands in the air, the empty cup on the floor now. Looks like the rest of the liquor soaked your shoes.

Yo didn’t let her finish. You mumble to lyla and judy not to follow you and that you would call them later. You grabbed your bag and Then left.

And you cried the whole ride home with your mom next to you. And not because of the coffee.

The smoke comes out of your mouth, you take the ciggarette to you lips again, and breathe in deeply.

If you smoke in your room, you always have to lean almost completely out of the window, now with the shadows of the trees falling in your face.

The light, split by the limbs, danced to the movements of the branches. There was a small and almost sweet breeze in the air.

The sun is still shining, but the golden hour is almost here.

You get goose bums on your arm as a cold breeze comes, and you put out the cigarette on your ashtray.

As you lie down on your bed and just stare at the wall for a while, the dark smell of cigarettes is still in the air. your parents don't care as long as it doesn't get into the rest of the house.

You grab a book from your bedside table and start reading.

"And when you at last find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter- they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped darek inside yous so long"

You close the book with a jerk.

Yes, maybe no sylvia plath for today.

The buzzing of your phone makes your head move to the side.

Judy: Malik won

Judy: Tonights a party at the beach, everyones going

Your eyes stare back into the void of your ceiling.

Ellie has had so much influence over you and your feelings for so long, that has to stop at some point. And with all the anger in you, you think that today it will.

You get up and stand in front of your closet, you rummage around to find something and you do. A t shirt that belonged to ellie.

Your fingers brush over the dark green material. It was a fucking normal t shirt. Except that it wasn't.

"Today it will stops"

You put the t-shirt in your backpack and look for an outfit that was well suited for the beach. In the end, you wear short jeans shorts, where your grandma had sewn in flower patterns years ago, With a light blue shirt it goes nicely with the flowers.

you: can you pick me up?

Judy: I would love too :)

You quickly brush your teeth to get rid of the smell of smoke. Outside, you can already hear Judy's honking. You sprint down the stairs with your backpack and look for your beach shoes.

"Where are you going" Your mother is standing behind you with her arms crossed. In her old cardigan, she looked like she did a few years ago and you almost get a déjà vu.

"A party, Judys picking me up"

"how long are you gonna be there?"

"Mom im going to be 18 in what now 4 days you dont have to ask me that anymore"

she scoffs

"yes i do and guess what? i also want you to text me So i know youll be fine"

Nervously, you look out to see if Judy's car is still there, maybe she thinks you've changed your mind.

"Ok, Mom, I'll probably go to Judy's and be gone till midnight."

Suspiciously, she looks at you from head to toe, but (luckily) gives in.

"okay but please call me if something happens. Be smarter than your brother"

Your body flinches at the mention of him. "Has… he called lately?" you murmur

She looked at the floor and you thought for a moment she was going to cry. "No, but maybe if you call him, he'll answer"

You nod, but you know you won't do it.

He doesn't care about you either.

~

"I'm proud that you're coming along" Judy and you are walking, with beer in your arms, towards the beach where a few people have already gathered.

"I mean, that was a great show, a few people definitely noticed it"

You sigh at the unpleasant memory. "Then that's the way it is, I think a few other things are going to happen tonight, that are far more interesting than a girl with coffee on her T-shirt"

"I hope so" A mischievous smile on her face.

You look around to find lyla and malik, But because of all the people, it doesn’t really work. You were sure that there weren't that many seniors and juniors, but that a few friends of others came along. There was a big fire and even a barbecue.

After wandering around for a while, you find the two siblings. They had already made themselves comfortable on the big blanket and had taken some alcohol with them, but the bottles will probably spread over the whole beach anyway.

"Finally I see you, everything ok with you?" Malik mentions as he stands up, giving you a vigorouslyhug. "Really fucked up what happened"

You digress with a wave of your hand and sit down

"im fine, but you won, tell me abou it!" You try to make your voice as shrill as possible to make it clear that you don't want to talk about it.

“oh yeah we won, I made a touchdown, obviouly"

"almost didn’t catch it tho" throws lyla into the round and you giggle.

"Shut up, we only won our last game Ever, Because of me!”

Pride, but also the quiet pain of the loss of his team, can be noticed on his face andin his voice. The reality that you try so hard to run away from hits you again. high school is over, real life begins now.

“whatever, im getting something to drink and then im gonna tell sam to put on some music” Lyla ties you back into the moment. "I'm going with you , I need a drink of Voda-Coke"

~

Later that night Mr. Brightside was what got you on your feet and into the crowd.

Mesmerizingly, the fire flares higher and leaves just light trail of smoke behind. Malik and Judy are now singing along loudly with the others.

All these people who so clumsily sing the song about a heartbroken man, as if they would die if they don't do it, carry the same fate with them. They will all wake up tomorrow with a headache and worries about the next day. as it is one day closer to real life.

Some have broken families or parents, complicated friends, grief and draining fear of the future.

Knowing that it was like that but everyone was still singing along motivates you to do it too.

"Here more vodka has to work not taste good" Judy pours more vodak into your cup, but misses more than ends up in it.

Now you just laugh, because why did you thought so long about everything, this night was a good decision.

"I need to dance like I physically need to dance"

She grabs Malik's arm as he pours more beer next to her.

“let’s danceee!"

Lyla stands next to you, grinning and sober, and you both watch her.

"he likes her"

Lyla explains

"I know" you reply.

“That’s fucked up”

She looks a bit worried, as she watches the two of them dance and sing, with her arms crossed

"is that bad? or are you the "dont date my fucking brother" type of girl, please dont be by the way its always a bit-"

Your brain is mush, your tongue works on its own and Lyla obviously didn't like that

"no of course not, i don't care about him or who he dates"

The light from the fire reflected on her skin, she looked like a painting drawn at sunset and you wished you had your camera with you. It would be a shot of a very sad girl, with a lot of repressed feelings that she will never explain to a human soul.

But she didn't have to, because you understand.

You once looked at someone like that, from a distance where these looks were not visible to the person, where they were safe.

Comforting her was your first thought, dumb decision because a drunk person comforting a sober one never works out.

"I'm sure judy likes you back"

Alarm bells could be seen in her eyes.

"shut up you don't know that"

you laugh but it sounds unstable.

“No your right I don’t”

It looked like a lot of fun, everyone singing and drinking away their worries, you just wanted to join the dancing crowd when you see her. Again.

Fast an quickly, just ignore her, act like you didn’t see her.

But your eyes lock with hers and your stomach sinks.

In that moment you wish you could just admit that Ellie will always be a part of your mind. Wherever you are, with whomever, she will always appear In your mind and she will haunt you.

The worst thing is that it was also your fault, you allowed this relationship to be far too deep and perplexed even though you knew that it was becoming too emotional.

Ellie's presence on the other side of the fire, fills you with all those deeply buried feelings, as if she dug them up with her own hands. As if you told her where you buried them.

“I really don't understand you two"

with a snap you arrive back on planet earth.

"what?"

"the both of you. starring at each other, like you're about to run through fire to be just a bit closer. Makes me want to puke" lyla repeats.

Disbelief and vulnerability spreads through your chest and all those lights are too bright, the music is too loud and Ellie is too close.

"It's ok to forgive, we don't even know what happened so be honest, how bad was it?"

brushing all those feelings off, or at least trying to, you turn around and disappear into the darkness.

In a kind of trance you push your way through the many people, a few call after you, and you are sure that you have run into someone. You just didn't notice anything about it.

You stop in front of the many cars. You used to drive with your father to the local supermarket or other short distances, but you're not willing to steal a car.

Your head turns to the right then left, looking for something, anything that will take you away from here.

Cars, skateboards and bicycles.

Without thinking about it, you grab an unchained bike and get on it. The adrenaline in your veins works on its own and has far too much influence on your body.

It took some time to get stable on it, because the tears in your eyes made it difficult to see. Nobody seems to have noticed that you ran away and that you are riding a bike that doesn't belong to you.

The road was pitch black dark.

The warm summer wind wipes your tears away, the bright street lights of the city can be seen in the distance.

You step on the pedals and realize that you have arrived on the local road.

Out of breath, you press your fingers on the brake lever.

Desperately trying to get your lungs to return to normal, mind concentrate on the outline of your shadow that was visible on the floor, because of the street lanterns.

You get off the bike in silence, put it down next to you on the sidewalk and sit down.

The pumping of your veins feels like electricity.

You could still hear a few cars in the background.

You brush away strands of hair from your forehead.

“Fuck” you hear yourself whisper.

The tears were just about to come back when you hear a car turning.

She still drives Joel's old truck.

The vehicle stops in front of your feet and you notice that some of the light green paint has rusted off.

That wasn't the case the last time you saw that thing.

Ellie slams the car door loudly behind her, so she looks back to see if everything is still fine.

The feeling of shame just bubbles out of you and drips onto the floor, as she steps in front of you with even louder steps.

your head lifts up just a bit, to look at her. Her nose is a bit crooked and she's breathing just as fast as you were a few seconds ago, it looks a bit like she was running after you.

“What the fuck are you doing”

Ellie Williams will always come from the far corner of the world and remind you that you will never let go of her.

The effects of the alcohol still had an influence on your brain, so you stay calm.

“calming down"

For a few seconds it's eerily quiet, for a moment you thought Ellie had left again, but the squeaking of her sneakers prove the opposite. Her body settles down next to you.

"You look really stupid, sitting here like that."

You scoff mockingly.

"yes, that's exactly why you're sitting next to me bitch"

"don't fucki-"

"Don’t act so innocent, remember what you said today before you spilled my coffee on my shirt”

Her head turns to you, sweet regret and longing in her moss green eyes. She scans the bike next to you.

"i think i stole that" the embaressment goes up your cheeks.

"yeah totally badass, but we have to bring that back later" she chuckles softly.

The bright beam of light from the lantern above you gives her face an bright tint , like the beach sun always did in the evening.

"sorry... about the coffee, joshua ran into me and-"

"Yes, I know you've said that before"

She drops her head. No idea why she's sitting here, but you don't mind. you just wanted to capture her and keep her close to you, like a butterfly.

"your brother called me" Ellie mentions it so casually that it shocks you to the bone.

He can even call her but not you. After she just sat down, you were as close as ever.

"what did he say"

"He wants us to come visit him."

Her pupils were large, but you assumed it was because she just drove a dark route and not because she was high. She's way too lucid to be high.

"why? and why the both of us?"

Ellie shrugs her shoulders cluelessly

"He said that we would like Florida, that he was getting a new apartment next week and that we should visit him. You didn't tell him anything about me?"

"I haven't told him anything Ellie, we haven't been able to get in touch with him for months"

You can clearly see from her expression that it makes as little sense to her as it does to you, which worries you even more. something is wrong.

You can feel how your hands shaking, you tried to tell yourself that your just cold.

"Alex said that he tried to call you and your parents, but the line never got through, fuck he even reached Joel"

You continue to shake and Ellie gently grabs your shoulder like she has often before, when you were lost in your head, when you were so afraid of roller coasters that you almost vomited or when you cried because Alex moved out 3 years ago.

Ellie's own security was always an anchor for you, when things got too confusing she strengthened you and even though you didn't talk to each other for almost a year, she still decided to tell you that your brother was fine.

That he wants you with him.

Sometimes, on the particularly melancholic nights when loneliness and nostalgia take over, you read Sylvia's poems and it just clicks. That all because this girl with her hair that is way too short and her pants that are way too big and her full lips, her unhealthy obsession with the universe and planets, exists on the same time as you.

“There’s gonna be a explanation or a reason whatever but just calm down for now okay?”

her voice is suppressed but still safe. yes the Ellie Anchor effect, fuck that shit

“Okay yes your right what the fuck”

“Yeah I can be right sometimes”

“ I Doubt that”

Her lips pucker upwards and yours follow suit. you are still too close to each other, it all feels too new and yet too nostalgic.

The old patterns gave your heart a little sting, you quickly shook off her hand on your shoulder. You clear your throat, thanking the universe or whoever there is that it's night.

Otherwise Ellie wouldn't have been able to miss your red cheeks. In your mind you beat yourself up because you still feel this way after everything she did.

"Show me your phone"

Your hand goes protectively to your back trouser pocket. "um no?!"

Ellie Scoffs thinking your joking, but when she sees that you’re serious, she laughs.

"just give it? the fuck do you think im gonna do"

"I don't know"

With a little nudge to your foot, she gives you that look again that shows trust and you give in.

"fine"

It's a little painful for you, this morning you had a mental crisis because of her, now you letting her scroll through your contacts.

"yeah, sorry to disappoint you, but this is not your bros number"

But that must be his.

Your parents gave it to you.

Oh.

"show me" you said firmly, having a really fucked up scenario in your head, about why this is the wrong number.

Ellie takes out her phone and shows you your brother's contact. chats, phone calls, everything is there. the one from this week too.

"this doesn't make any sense, I just- I don't get it"

"Your parents gave you the number?"

You nod, "My mom said, a few Months ago he had to change his number, in the beginning we texted a bit but never really called"

your eyes switch from her phone to yours to check the numbers again and again .

"After a few days, he didn't get in touch at all, with no one. We thought he was just done with his old life." you pronounce the words and your stomach turns.

Ellie's eyes stare thoughtfully at the asgap in front of you. You're helplessly trying to build up eye contact to figure out what you're thinking.

"I think they lied to you… He said something like this could happen" She says it so fucking sure.

You couldn't take in any more and you get up with your eyes are watering "What the fuck are you talking about Ellie" Your voice broke with the trust in your parents, even Ellie looks at you sympathetically.

"Alex said on the phone that he has been trying to reach someone from home for a long time, but it doesn't work. He was so desperate that he even called me and joel. Do you think your parents or your mom-"

you raise your hand to tell her not to finish the sentence. "Why… would they do that?"

She gets up and comes closer to you. "He mentioned that your mother said he shouldn’t call her anymore or you anymore, that even you don't him in your life anymore"

It feels like your whole past is falling apart, all the beautiful moments with your family, you even want the bad memories back.

"Hey"

Ellie's soft fingertips gently touch the back of your hand. Roughness was still there, she hasn`t stopped playing guitar.

"lets run away"

a/n: omg, the chapters are gonna be shorter next time and we’re also on the road PLS STICK W IT

(and reblog😍)

anyways if you’ve come this far ur a real survivor thanks 🫶

@yourelliewillms @bready101 @liasxeatt @darkerstarsstuff @elliezato @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @lovelyxbaby @yalaysbee @macaroni676

[tlouxx]

Electromagnetism

~ ellie williams x reader

——————————————————————————

part two <3

synopsis: you and ellie williams have been long time rivals. you are a physics majors at wellesley college, and you’re competing for the same spot in the prestigious dr. ramsey’s lab as ellie. suddenly neither of you can escape the other as you’re both trying to navigate your final year of college.

content: college!ellie, modern au, mean!ellie, academic rivals to lovers, slow burn, forced proximity, eventual smut, swearing, banter, just trying to intro ellie and reader rn

an: this is the first fic i've written! i hope you enjoy :) pls be kind

——————————————————————————

I want this year to be better. To achieve more. To get everything I have wanted. Well.. I want this to be the year I best Ellie Williams. It has been so frustrating to get second best to her no matter how hard I try. I study 15 hours for the exam. She studies for 20. I get a 98 on the lab report. She gets a 100. I can’t stand this girl. This year I have a fire under my ass. I’ll do whatever it takes to get the lab position with Dr. Ramsey, and I know Ellie is gunning for it too… 

...

Day One  - PHYS 302: Quantum Mechanics 

Fuck. I know I'm going to be late. I had been up until 2:00 a.m. devising a plan for how I was going to handle all of the stress of senior year. Between tutoring, a full class load, and working on my thesis, I am going to have no life outside of school. Although, I’m kind of fucking it up already by waking up late for the first day of class. 

…

I am sprinting through campus trying to navigate through the thick of the freshman class wandering aimlessly around. I have 1 minute and 39 seconds to make it on time before Dr. L locks the door. (She’s a bit famous for doing that). It’s mid august and hot. I can feel the sweat dripping down my back, and my bangs are clinging to my forehead. I see a shortcut to the physics building through the freshly landscaped garden. Dirt and mulch kicks up my jeans, but I don’t care. Behind me, I hear yelling. “Move out of my way!!” I look momentarily to see none other than Ellie Williams. Suddenly I don’t feel as bad about being late. She’s in her typical wardrobe of converse and a jacket too big for her, and she’s running toward me. 

…

“Don’t you know she’s going to lock the door on us!” 

“I know Ellie!” I scoff back. I book it knowing we only have 45 seconds left to make it on time. We’re both charging up the stairs. Ellie shoves me aside. I yell  “Are you kidding me!” She simply laughs at me. 

… 

I’m following right behind her. I can feel the anger flood through my body. My cheeks are flushed, and I can feel my rage nearly leave my mouth. I know I’d only be stooping to her level. I see the door in my line of sight and feel the tension dissipate knowing we made it. We rush through the door with seconds to spare. All eyes are on us. I suddenly feel the anger leave and be replaced by embarrassment. I look around for somewhere to sit. PHYS 302 is a popular class with a majority of the seats being full. Ellie and I look at each other realizing there are only two seats left. Right next to each other. 

…

We both glare at the other, but sit down knowing we’ve already caused a commotion by busting through the door at the last second. I’m angry. I’m irritated. This is exactly why I have to do better this semester. I know what I want, and I won’t stop until I see that smirk wiped off her face. 

…

As class continues on, I glance over at Ellie. She’s diligently taking notes and hanging on to every word Dr. L says. I should be doing the same. This class is important to me, and doing well can help me guarantee my spot in Dr. Ramsey’s lab. I’ve been dreaming of doing my thesis with her help since freshman year. Right now though, I need to stop daydreaming about beating Ellie and actually do it. 

…

I’ve always loved the atmosphere here at Wellesley. The campus is gorgeous and almost looks otherworldly at times. The blossoming pinks of the spring and the rich reds and yellows of the fall makes it look like a daydream. I have studied at nearly every picnic table out here. The sun is shining down on my face through the clouds.  I look up and start to reminisce about the good times I’ve had here, but the heat is getting to me. I peel off my jacket before I enter my next lecture. I open the door to see Ellie Williams smirking at me. 

…

PHYS 208: Intermediate Electromagnetism

“I didn’t think you’d be brave enough to take this class. Seems a little too… difficult for you.” 

“Fuck off Ellie. You know I’m just as smart as you.” 

“And I know how much it kills you that you have to work twice as hard to come close to me” 

I laugh. “What kills me is that you think that’s true. I already know you studied for days for Dr. Ramsey’s final when I studied for a couple hours and got practically the same grade” I can feel myself getting flustered. I’ve been wanting to dedicate this semester to kicking her ass, and she can see it. I watch as her cheeks turn red. She knows I see her too. She turns back around in her seat. 

…

The weight of the day feels heavy on my shoulders. I shouldn’t have said that to Ellie. Dina told me in confidence how much time she was dedicating to studying for the exam. I shouldn’t have betrayed her trust just to get back at Ellie. I don’t have much time to waste ruminating on actions. I have work in 20 minutes and a 15 minute walk there. 

…

I work at the tutoring center on campus. I mainly help the underclassmen with the major prerequisite courses like MATH 205 and PHYS 100/107/108. It gives me a sense of fulfillment helping others. I know firsthand how hard these classes are. I probably wouldn’t have survived the first year without the help of the tutoring department. It’s part of the reason why I decided to work here making minimum wage. Plus it’ll make my application to work at Dr. Ramsey’s lab look better. I glance through the windows to get a glimpse of who I'll be working with this semester. I hope Dina and I get the same shifts like last semester. I’m sure you can guess who I see though. Ellie. Fucking. Williams. 

…

I can feel my eyes rolling. I can’t escape her! Everywhere I turn she’s there. First both our classes are together and now she’s working at the tutoring center? This has to be some sick joke. I look up at her and smile. She looks away and sits in a nearby chair. I sit across from her waiting for someone to instruct us on what to do next. I do regret embarrassing her, but she started it. She nearly pushed me down the stairs just to get ahead of me on top of that too. Maybe I shouldn’t feel so bad, but my heart is still pounding as I look up at her again. 

…

The tutoring center supervisor sees us sitting in silence together. She’s nice enough, but her wardrobe is stuck in 2013. I catch myself staring at her oddly patterned top. Ellie notices me staring and gives me a knowing smile. 

“I’m so glad you’re both here! You and Ellie will be our main tutors on Monday, Wednesday, Friday for the core physics class. I think you two are already acquainted” 

“Oh. I thought Dina and I would be doing that again.” 

“Right. I thought you might say that, but with her new course load she’ll be doing Tuesday and Thursday instead.” 

“I see.” 

“You and Ellie are both top of the class! I feel so lucky to have you guys here.” 

I smile and head down to the physics portion of the building. 

…

Ellie is following behind me closely. I’m wondering if maybe she’ll apologize, but I doubt she’d ever do that. We both sit down at our respective desks. I look up at her again. I must’ve hit close to home with my comment. She’s helping someone with their MATH 205 homework. Ellie tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear. She always wears it half up/half down. Despite our rivalry, I admit to myself that it looks good on her. Her complexion is soft and a spread of freckles paints her nose. She gives them a thumbs up as they leave, and they yell to Ellie, “You’re a life-saver!” 

…

After a few hours of no students, I’m getting bored. I can sense the tension between me and Ellie. I think I should say something. 

“Hey Ellie, I think I should apologize for earlier.” 

“Honestly, it’s fine. I’m glad you finally are stepping up in this little game of ours. I needed a little extra motivation to step up my game so I can get the spot in Dr. Ramsey’s lab” 

“God, I knew you were gunning for it too.” 

Ellie gets out of her chair and steps closer to me. She creeps in closely. My heart skips a beat for a second. Fuck this girl will be the death of me. 

She is only inches from my face. My cheeks begin to flush. The anxiety is bubbling up in my chest. My heart is beating so loud I think Ellie might hear it too.

“May the best win” 

…

Oh its fucking on Ellie.

[abbysthighs]

THE WAY DINA SMILES AT HER!

[heartshapedconchas]

everlong

chapter 1: patrol | ellie williams | 

summary — You knew Ellie Williams. You weren't close with her by any means, but you knew her. You knew that she had been dating Dina for 5 months when you arrived, and you also knew that you were fairly interested in her. One night after a day of patrol together, the two of you talk during a get-together. And not just about the normal trivial things you'd say every now and then to break the almost comfortable silence during patrols. You actually talked.

pairing — ellie williams x reader

warnings — femme-based reader, slight violence? reader is a lesbian, dina & ellie are dating (she doesn’t cheat dw)

word count — 1.8k

author’s note — Hello Hello, I have not written since about middle school so i’m so sorry if this is just horribly written (　ﾟдﾟ) Also I apologize if there are any mistakes/inconsistencies or anything like that. I was raised by an immigrant who’s English wasn’t perfect when he had/taught me so mine isn’t perfect either! So much for Eng being my first language LOL.

7:15 AM. The bright red numbers from your shitty alarm clock burned into your eyes as you decided to actually open them and make an attempt to wake up and start your day. You didn’t just wake up now though, you had been awake for the past hour or so; listening to the sound of Jackson slowly coming to life. Your body is still on its usual sleep-wake cycle from traveling on your own. Before you came across a few people and were welcomed into this community, your sleep wasn’t exactly a priority. Sleep was a luxury, you only got a few hours of sleep so you naturally woke up early even though you didn’t exactly need to. Which of course, was miserable but unfixable so far.

Deciding to actually function, you sit up with a sigh; and internally groan at the feeling of the frigid air compared to the warmth of your bed sheets. “Fuck that,” you mumble to yourself, and wrap one of the blankets around you and stand up. After dressing yourself in the appropriate kind of clothing for the mid-December weather, which was beautiful but fucking miserable, you head out to start your day.

Ellie’s coming with you on your patrol today, which wouldn’t be the first time. You two weren’t usually paired up, but you remember her from a few of your first non-group patrols. Actual conversation never really occurred between the two of you, you said hello when meeting up and all that shit; and talked about how to take out the infected that were in the area. But it was never more than that. Not a big deal though, it didn’t make a huge difference to you. Although, a part of you longed for more. Just a little bit more, even if she just asked you how you were feeling that day or if you had any plans. One time during one of your very first patrols you attempted to shoot and ride at the same time; which evidently failed as you got knocked off by a runner. Ellie took care of the infected that had knocked you off, but she had pulled you to safety before doing that. She was grabbing you by the arm, yanking you behind her. After that, for some reason, you couldn’t stop thinking about her grabbing you. Her touching you. You replayed that moment in your head over and over again, even after arriving back in Jackson that day.

But Ellie had been with Dina for 5 months at that point. You had just gotten there, you didn’t already want to tarnish your image with the idea that you’re going after a taken woman. That would fucking suck. That and the fact that it's just plain wrong. So you just took those feelings and shoved them deep down inside you so they would never see the light of day.                                          

“Hey {name}, you signing in? I grabbed Lady from her stable for you already! ” someone else getting ready for a patrol said as they saw you. “Oh, thank you! And uh yeah, just waiting for Ellie. Have you seen her, she's usually the first one here?”

Almost as if on cue, Ellie walked in. Her face was slightly red, and it looked as if she was frowning; her eyebrows furrowed as she mumbled something to herself that you couldn't hear. “Maybe she’s not a morning person,” you thought to yourself, “maybe we have that in common. God, I hope it doesn’t affect her attitude on this patrol, I really don’t feel like dealing with that shit right now.”

You gave her a small wave and a slight smile, and she gave you a nod of acknowledgment as she grabbed Shimmer from her stable.

“You ready? This shouldn’t take too long, this area never really has any infected.” She handed you a map of the route since you’ve never been on it before, and she didn’t want to deal with you getting lost along the way.

As you saddled your horse you took a quick glance over the route, “Hm, yep. Seems easy enough!”

She gave you a small smile, finally. “Alright, let's go then. I just wanna get it done quickly.” And with that, you mounted your horses and headed for the gate to leave.

 The ride was quiet for the most part, aside from a few comments about the weather or a random animal one of you saw. It was really pretty too, you were kinda upset you had never come along on this route before. No infected to take out and good scenery? It was perfect, completely serene.

There were, however, buildings you had to clear of course. And this one seemed rather large and broken down, it almost looked like some sort of gas station or store like that. All of the entrances were blocked by something so you had to figure out a different point of entry.

“Hey,” Ellie motioned towards an open window with her head, “over here. I’ll boost you up and you can help me get in.”

You silently nodded and jumped off Lady, patting her on the side once before jogging over to said window.

She bends down, links her hands together, and nods up towards the opening, “Okay, up you go.”

Stepping onto her hands, she pushes upwards and you’re able to grab onto the very edge of the window. “Fuck, I think I need a little bit more help—it’s a little too high for me to reach.”

Another touch. This time she grabbed onto your leg to help boost you up more. It wasn’t your lower leg though, it was like—The directly below your ass leg area.

Your breath hitched and you were finally up through the window; standing on what you assumed was some sort of storage unit. After helping Ellie up, you turn on your flashlight and start looking around. There wasn’t much really, you found a few extra bullets and some supplies. Plus an old corpse, which wasn’t too pleasant of course.

“So..” Ellie suddenly interrupted the comfortable silence that you two usually experienced during your patrols, “you coming to that party at the church tonight?” Oh. Oh. That's more than the usual small talk.

“Ah, yeah actually. I planned on at least stopping by if I wasn’t too tired. Why? Did you get ditched by Dina?” You said with a slight laugh.

Ellie bit her lip, almost as if that was partially true, “Mn no, was just wondering.” she shrugged and turned to open another door to see if the room was clear. You raised an eyebrow at her before turning to do the same and see if your room was clear.

It was definitely not clear. As soon as you creaked open the door, a clicker rushed out at you. You stumbled back, grabbing your gun from your leg holster and pointing it at its fungi-overtaken head. But you couldn’t aim steady, so much was happening so fast and you were shaken from being jumped by a fucking clicker.

“{reader}, watch out!” Ellie screamed as she ran towards you and the clicker, who was on top of you now. You were barely able to keep it away from your face, its mouth biting down on air as it failed to reach your skin; loud screeches disorienting you even more.

“Fucking— get it off!” Jesus christ this thing was fucking strong. You weren't weak but you’d have a hard time if you were rushed suddenly like this. Ellie grabbed the clicker off of you and shot it once in the head, and it fell to the floor beside you limply.

“{reader} , {reader} are you okay? You’re not bit are you?!” she said panicked, her voice urgent and unstable; and she kneeled down in front of you so you were face to face. “Yeah…yeah, I’m fine.” but you winced. Your face felt..wet? Reaching up to your left cheek you touched where it felt damp, and when your hand drew back you found your fingertips smeared with blood. Were you bit? Maybe you don’t feel it when it happens, and that's why there’s always that dramatic moment in the cheesy old zombie apocalypse movies where the side character realizes they’ve been bit later on.

“Shit, it’s just a scratch but you’re bleeding pretty heavy,” she paused for a second, “I have stuff in my bag for that, you’ll be fine.” She shrugged her backpack off and rummaged around in it before finding a package of first aid supplies. She grabbed cotton balls and hydrogen peroxide before she began dousing them in the liquid.

“Alright this is gonna sting a bit.” she leaned in close and started cleaning your cheek. You know how when you would fall and hurt your knee when you were a kid? And your parents would pull out the rubbing alcohol and tell you it wasn’t gonna hurt at all. But it actually ended up burning really badly? That’s what it felt like, the stinging making you flinch and almost whine.

“I’m sorry, I know it hurts.” she looked at you with sympathy and continued cleaning, apologizing sweetly every time you would wince or groan. A minute later she was done, and she threw the used cotton balls to the side. “Alright, you’re all done. Feel better?” She got up after pausing to stare at you for merely a second and grabbed her backpack from the floor. “You okay to continue? I wanna get through this as quickly as possible now, I don't want that happening again.” She laughed a little, before reaching out her hand to help you get up.

The two of you finished the patrol, not finding any other infected aside from a few runners that you took down easily.  It started snowing at some point while you were scavenging for supplies in some small building and hurried out of there before it would get any worse. She didn’t ask any more questions as she did before on your way back through the route, she was quiet and almost nervous. She’d glance at you every few minutes or so, and just as quickly as she would look she would turn away from you.

The entire trip back home, you dreaded that party. Pulling your horses into the stable, Ellie hesitated before finally speaking for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

“So uh… you said you are going to the party tonight, right?” She looked almost hopeful as if she’d be disappointed if you said no.

“Oh, yeah!” You smiled, a bit too awkward for your own liking, “Uh.. see you there?”

She smiled and nodded, before handing Shimmer off to the stable handler. As you watched her walk away, you felt that same anxiety bubble up in your stomach again. The same anxiety you felt when you first saw the girl before you were informed that she was in a committed relationship. It almost made you feel sick to your stomach, it was that kind of excited anxiety that made you so giddy you could jump up and down and scream. But you couldn't. "Man I'm delusional" you mumbled to yourself as you followed Ellie's actions and handed Lady off, "She's just being friendly. No need to get excited."

No need to get excited.

Right?

[kaiandels]

Two Hearts: Ellie Williams x Reader

🐚

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

warnings: use of 🌿, flirty tension, use of y/n and l/n, the in denial-kept feelings of the reader and Ellie, mild swearing, And that’s it! Not that much intimacy displayed yet!

p.s: Hey! So i’m planning to make this in to a series. ‘Cause i’m very indulged in these types of tropes so.. yeah! I am very fond of writing now, idk why.. 🥹

It was a Thursday afternoon, you had just gone off to hang out in a cute café with Dina and Jesse for the mean time as your best friend, Ellie. Was out on a date.

Ellie Williams. Ellie Williams was your bestfriend ever since kindergarten. You met her by coincidentally matching her outfit in a get-together party in the school you both used to attend to. As kids, you and Ellie weren’t really considered as the “girly” type. So they say. But eventually, the one who grew out of that style was… well? You.

Ellie on the other hand, was much more comfortable in baggy hoodies and skin-tight jeans. Or in whatever she had in her closet. You? You grew up to love dresses and short skirts or those tight dresses that Ellie seemed to love on you for some reason. Everytime that you would wear one, for instance, a date. She would always say nonchalantly “You should wear that again when we go out soon.” Which have always seemed to leave you in a confused manner.

“Hey Babe, where’s Ellie?” Dina asked giving you a bright smile as you sat down across from her and Jesse, gripping the strap of your white shoulder bag. “Oh, she’s out on a date. She told me she’ll be home by 7.” You said shooting her a bright smile back. It stayed silent for a moment as you noticed that Jesse shot Dina a glare and then looked back at you. “Anddd.. you okay with that?” Jesse asked raising his eyebrows. He seemed to grow of suspicion. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Dina smirked at your remark as she shot Jesse a glance. “Right… Jesse, why wouldn’t she be?” Dina gave Jesse a nudge expecting him to speak for her.

“Oh, I don’t know. Probably because you both are always all over eachother. Every single time we hang out it looks like you are both literally about to make out.”

“Why would you think that?”

✧*̥˚ Why they think that *̥˚✧

“Ellie!” You laughed as Ellie nuzzles her head in to your chest, tickling you to the core. “Say it again. I DARE YOU L/N!” Giggles fill the room as you both start nuzzling on eachother while Dina and Jesse sat right next to the both of you. “Babe! Stop!” You screamed as she starts kissing your cheeks and then pausing to breathe.

Dina and Jesse looked at eachother and then looked back to the both of you, seeing that you both were looking at eachother’s eyes…rather…intensely. “You look so pretty” you said gazing in to Ellie’s eyes while cupping her cheeks.

“You’re prettier than any girl i’ve ever met, Y/N”

✧*̥˚ *̥˚✧

“Right, our bad. Why would we think that.” Jesse said in more of a ‘what the fuck is wrong with these lesbians’ manner. “Uh huh” you said raising your eyebrows rather snapping out of the conversation as you hear your phone ring. “It’s Ellie” you said giving more opportunities to make Dina and Jesse shoot glares at eachother. You were really clueless. But then again, so was Ellie.

“Hey babe.” Ellie said in more of a faded tone as you can tell that she’s outside because of the cars passing by and also by the noisy chatters from each and every individual crossing the street. “Hey, how was the date?” You asked smiling while looking at Dina and Jesse. “It was terrible. God. i’ll tell you allll about it when I get home, yeah?” She said with a huff clearly getting exhausted from walking around. “Okay, please be careful. Keep your phone close. Bye!” You both ended the call and continued to enjoy the company of your two lovely friends. “Anyway, enough about Ellie. How are you and Xavier?” Dina asked raising her hand at the same time to start ordering coffees as she mentioned to you that she was feeling out of the blue and needed something to snap her back in to reality.

Chris Xavier. Your “beloved” boyfriend. You two started going out in the 2nd year of highschool, you both were considered as the couple who gets everyone practically jealous because they do not know if they wanna be you, or be Xavier. Which always made you feel as if the situation was “cliché”. It was almost as if you were written in to a book or written in to a script of a movie. Although, you always shook that feeling off because whether you liked it or not… you loved your boyfriend. But unfortunately, Ellie does not. She has always described him as a “fuckin’ himbo” and with a hint of “Pretty-boy-dumbass. Why does he have to part his hair that way anyway? What’s the logic?” Yeah, basically she hated him. She has always told you that he was “toxic” and “not good enough for you” but you can’t seem to get your head wrapped around the fact that he indeed was.

“It’s… not going well. Unfortunately.” You laughed nervously while scratching the back of your head. You were honestly embarassed because of how much you had to tell them stories of how insensitive he was at times and how he always invites random girls at your apartment claiming that “it’s fine!” “They are just his close friends!”

“What? He still brings those bimbos over?” Dina asked sarcastically as Jesse slapped her arm. “What? It’s true! Haven’t you been listening to her stories?” Jesse folded his lips in to a thin line and took a deep breath. “I know babe, he’s an asshole. But let’s listen first, okay?”

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

After a few sips of coffee and quite the chitchat, you have gotten home. You slipped off your shoes giving a big pleasant sigh as the shoes were basically chopping your foot off. You walked in to the living room, seeing Ellie in her usual position. Hand behind her head, manspreading, and smoking weed. “Come on babe, you know I don’t like the smell.” You sighed plopping yourself down next to her. “I’m sorry, I need it. Anyway, how was your day Babe?” Ellie asked leaning her head on to the couch then facing you as she takes a drag of that rolled crap. “Jesse and Dina were fun to hang out with as always. Anyway, the elephant in the room…. the date- how was it?” You asked mimicking her actions, looking back at her. “She was… really weird? She told me that I kept talking about you? And she was like ‘if you’re inlove with your bestfriend please don’t bother me blabla’ and shit? Like? Why would she even say that… huh.” Ellie smirked laughing as she took a long drag of again… the garbage-smelled-rolled-crap.

“Huh? The similar situation kind of happened with Jesse and Dina. They told me that if I was okay with you dating other girls, like why wouldn’t I be? Right?”

“Totally. Man, I don’t know what’s wrong with them. But hey, how are you and Christian?”

You laughed as you shook your head. “Okay, first of all, it’s just Chris. And why is everyone asking that question a lot recently?” You sighed and eventually answered Ellie’s question. “We’re doing horrible. As usual. Nothing’s new… i’m basically immune.” You laughed bitterly as Ellie passed the weed to you. “Smoke. I swear you’ll feel better.” You nod and took the weed away from her fingertips and taking a long drag yourself. “He’s still bringing random girls over and probably getting intimate with them as we speak.” Ellie scoffed and looked over to you. “Leave him.” you looked up at her and smiled. “Soon. i’m just waiting for someone.” Ellie raised her eyebrows and laughed. “You know, if I was a man and ESPECIALLY your boyfriend? I would never do that to you.” your eyes widened at the comment and Ellie seemed taken aback by her own remark. “Oh shit- I’m sorry if that made you-“

“I know you would never do that to me.” You interrupted, placing a hand on her cheek followed by soft caressing. “And who says you have to be a man to do that?” you both stay put. Not saying a word to eachother. The only thing that could be possibly heard from the both of you is the blinking of you and Ellie’s eyes, staring right in to eachother’s souls. No one muttering a word. Ellie placed her hands on your cheek mimicking you as she started to slowly caress them aswell. Your breath hitched as your eyes followed down to her eyes, to her nose, and then finally to her lips. And then finally, you were able to form a sentence. A fucking dumb one, in fact.

“You’re such a good friend.”

“Yea- yeah… totally.”

fucking dumbass.

[sufferingbooknerd]

Glad to see the teaser showed us that season 2 is going to be nice to my girls! 😃

[kendyb21]

Marines vs Pirates = Enemies to Lovers ❤️‍🔥🚢

(I can’t decide whether the red one is better than the blue one.)

[ellies-coochiesucker]

𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹!𝗘𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗲 𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗺𝘀

Meeting her

You and Ellie meet through Jesse. You and Jesse dated for about a month three years before. He made you realize you were a lesbian.

He invited you to a study group that included; him, Dina, and Ellie.

In the school library, the four sat around the circular table in the center of the room. Jesse being Jesse fucked around the whole session causing the group to get annoyed stares. Dina decided that they should leave.

When you suggested that you guys just reschedule.

Dina told you and Ellie to stay.

....alone

“No, no. You guys stay I've got to get this idiot out of here.” Dina glanced at you guys, sensing some sort of awkwardness. “If it's okay with you guys.”

“Um, yeah, if it's fine with you.” Ellie shrugged as she stared at you.

“Oh. Yeah I don't have a problem.”

Of course, It was awkward between you guys at first but after a while things went smoother. The studying was soon forgotten about once she let it slip that she likes comic books.

Becoming best friends

After the failed study session, you start to hang out with the group more. Always Jesse doing something stupid and you, Dina, and Ellie talk shit about him. You've finally found your people.

Sneaking out to go on late-night drives and you being the only one who doesn't know how to drive. You will get bullied for it believe me.

“Imagine failing Spanish.”

“Imagine not knowing how to drive.” - Jesse

You were tired of the constant abuse from mostly Jesse, so you asked Ellie to teach you how to drive. She agrees.

“You forgot to put on your seat best.”

“Oh - shit, slow down a little.”

“Fuck you ran a red light... it's okay, you’re okay. Everybody makes mistakes. ”

“Maybe drive the speed limit. No... it's alright just try not to go 25 miles over next time.”

“You can go a little faster.”

“You’re doing great, babe”

Babe was something she called you a lot but only when you were alone, which you guys were a lot as you got more comfortable with each other. Not needing Dina or Jesse to make things less awkward anymore.

Going to the library to read comic books for hours.

Taking unexpected pictures of each other.

Having your first sleepover at her house. Dina being jealous that she didn't get an invite.

Ellie complaining about her job being ass, wishing you were with her.

You getting hired at her job a month and a half later.

You guys making everything a two-person job.

Sending songs that remind you of each other.

your song that reminded you of her

“Why does this song remind you of me?”

“Idk...this song kinda reminds me of hope and then I think about...you...i guess.”

Dating her

Everyone at school already thought you guys were dating, since Ellie isn't nice to anyone. Not even her own friends sometimes.

how she asked you out:

Ellie was a sweaty mess. She was currently in her room, pacing from one side to the other, as Dina and Jesse watched from her bed.

“Oh my god! What if she says no? I'll fucking die of embarrassment .” She tugged the sides of her hair.

“Ellie calm down.” Dina moves from the bed to her friend. She pushes Ellie’s hands away from her hair, fixing the few strands that were out of place. “She’s gonna say yes. She’s basically in love with you. You're gonna be fine.”

“Yeah, you're all she talks about. Seriously I'm sick of it.” Jesse groaned recalling all the times you would bring up Ellie in a conversation. Her doing the same.

This made Ellie feel a little better.

They heard a knock before the door opened revealing yourself. “Hey, guys! I brought cookies for movie night.” You raised the plastic bag in your hands giving Ellie a big grin.

“Actually, I think I'm coming down with something.” She let out a fake cough and grabbed Jesse’s hand. “Jesse is just gonna take me home.”

“But what about movie night? I bought cookies.” You gave a pout, holding up the bag again.

“Next time I promised.” She and Jesse left.

“Well, I guess it's just us.” You smiled at Ellie. “Yeah, just us.” She wiped her sweaty palms on her pants.

“I - um” Ellie cleared her throat. “I got you something.”

Ellie took a deep breath before going behind her bed to fetch the gift. You let out a gasp as you saw the big bucket of lego flowers, a couple definitely from different lego sets. “I made these for you.”

“Ellie they’re beautiful.” You came closer to her picking a few flowers out of the bucket. “How long did this take?” You placed the flowers back, taking the whole pail from the girl. “About 15 hours. It took me all day.” She said like it was no big deal. “What the hell! Are you not exhausted?”

“I am but it was worth it for the girl I like.”

“The girl you like?”

“Yeah.” She fiddled with her fingers, staring at her socks.

“Me?”

“....yeah”

“So is this movie night...like a date?”

“...if you want it to be.”

Since Ellie didn't have a tv in her room, she used her computer. You both snuggled close, Ellie letting you pick the movie.

Pitch Perfect is what you decided on. Ellie complains, not wanting to watch this movie for the hundredth time.

Ellie watched with amazement as you quoted almost every line.

“Ellie watch the movie.”

“Right...Sorry.”

You don't know when you fell asleep but you woke up to multiple text messages and missed calls from your mother.

“OH SHIT, ELLIE.” You screamed gripping your phone to see that it was 2 am. “WHAT!WHAT!” She scrambled from the bed, you doing the same. “I have to get home!” You slipped on your shoes before grabbing your bucket of flowers.

“Okay. I'll take you home.” She attempted to rub the sleepiness from her face. She tripped a bit trying to put on longer pants and put on her shoes.

All of a sudden Ellie’s door blasted open to reveal Joel....with a bat? “Why does he have a bat?”

“I don't know.”

After a little communication, Joel decided to take you home. Ellie road in the back of Joel’s truck not wanting you to be alone. You guys held hands ── just because it was cold of course ── trying to stay awake.

“I'll walk you inside.” Ellie told you as she grabbed the bucket of flowers. “Ok.” You said your goodbyes to Joel and got out of the truck and onto your front porch.

“Thank you for the flowers and the movie night.” You beamed as you stared into her tired eyes. “I had fun.”

“I'm glad.” She eagerly nodded, not knowing what to do next.

There was 30 seconds of awkwardness, neither of them how to take the first move.

“Fuck it.” You mumbled under your breath. You gently placed your hands on Ellie’s cold face but was quickly heating up from her blushing. You both closed your eyes and leaned in until your lips are locked. Ellie’s grip on the bucket loosens almost causing her to drop it as the kiss quickens in pace.

The two were startled and pulled away from each other by Joel honking his horn. Ellie turned to the truck to give Joel a fast glare before turning back around to you.

“I gotta go sorry.” She gave an apologetic gaze. She handed you the bucket.

“It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow.” You kissed her on the cheek. “Good Night.”

“Good night.” She hesitantly walked back to Joel’s truck.

Two weeks later she asked you to be her girlfriend.

you guys as girlfriends

Her always bringing you snacks for lunch because you refuse to eat that despicable school lunch.

“You got her those dry-ass sugar cookies.” Jesse groaned watching you eat your cookies. Ellie, who had her arm wrapped around your shoulder, rolled her eyes at his statement. She also hated the dry cookie with, in her opinion, too much frosting. But her girlfriend loves them so, of course, she’ll get them for you. “Shut the fuck up. You're just jealous that you have to eat the gross school food.”

You and Ellie have one class together. The entire period consists of you not doing your assignment, but instead watching trashy reality tv shows, and Ellie having to keep you on track, failing most of the time.

Sometimes she just ends up taking your test for you. The teacher never walks around during testing so who cares?

You have to force Ellie to eat. Before you guys meet she would forget to eat all day and wonder why she felt so bad the next day.

“El, do you wanna get some food?”

“No thanks, I just eat.”

“What’d you eat?”

“A bagel.”

“Ellie that was this morning. And we shared half of it.”

“Oh.”

a little argument you guys got into:

“El, my love, do you wanna go get ice cream?”

“I'm not really in the mood for it but I can still take you, babe.”

“I don't want ice cream if you're not gonna get ice. I’d feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad I just don’t want any. I can still get you some.”

“No, I don't want ice cream anymore.”

“Babe let's not do this. I'll just have some of your ice cream.”

“No, I want my own ice cream.”

“I thought you didn't want ice cream.”

“Not if you don't want any.”

“Oh, my god.”

[csprslvt]

You and i, and her.

Chapter one. (see intro for context)

Summary: When settling into Jackson, reader dreams of her past but tries to ignore it by spending time with Ellie, who is desperate for connection after pregnant Dina has left her to be with Jesse. Awkward introductions and slight miscommunication ensues.

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, the D slur, reader misses muscle mommy Abby, assumed major character death, mentions of sex

CHAPTER ONE:

Something was weighing heavy on your heart.

Ever since you found that locket, something in you was missing, as if you finally became aware of a part of your life you had forgotten you’d experienced. You wore the locket, looking for other things in your bag that would bring clarity to your past. So far all you had was that pine soap and photo that connected with the once love of your life,

Abby.

You knew her, or rather you had known her at some point. So many questions littered your mind, but still the dissociation was so heavy it was difficult to uncover without getting a headache.

“Hey? y/n?” A hand nudged your shoulder, pulling you from your trance.

 Ellie was trying to get your attention. 

“Oh sorry, what was the question?”

Ellie smiled, “ I was saying, are you going to finish that?”

You looked down at your plate, you and Ellie were eating in Ellie’s room, deciding that a group of people would be too much for you to handle in such a drugged out, sensory sensitive state. You both sat on the bed, Ellie against the headboard and you against the foot of the bed. Your legs touched softly.

“Uhm no, i'm still kind of nauseous, you can have my food if you want.” You offered your plate of bread, meat and rice to Ellie.

“ You sure?”

“Yea yea go ahead!”

Ellie’s smile grew and she took the plate from your hands, eating eagerly.

“ So” Ellie spoke between chewing, “How are you feeling?”

“I feel, confused and a little woozy, but better now that i'm clean and out of the sun”

“I really do think something has happened to you, you were so… delirious when we found you”

“Yea I feel almost…foggy? Like I'm forgetting something important, forgetting where I came from because of whatever has happened.”

Ellie nodded in sympathy, 

“Whatever happened, it must've been a lot to handle. I mean you were covered in blood and clearly exhausted. So don't pressure yourself to remember every detail, I'm sure it’ll come to you eventually.”

“Yea, yea I hope so” You smiled and Ellie finished her meal, she took both plates.

“I'll go get rid of these, uh, you stay here”

You nodded in response and once she left, you opened your locket staring at it.

Abby.

Where could she be? Why did you end up alone? Clearly she appeared to care about you? Why can't you remember anything but her name, her scent, her hands?

You shivered a bit, memories flooded to the surface but just as they were about to enter your grasp, it slipped away from you.

There has to be something else missing.

When Ellie entered the room again, she offered to show you where you would be staying, the two of you hit it off, becoming fast friends, a duo.

When you settled into your new room, you smelt of the forest, it soothed you and you fell into a deep slumber.

Long blond hair fell into your fingertips as you ran your fingers through it. It was soft, healthy and it carried the faint scent of pine.

“Are you always going to keep it in that stupid braid?” You spoke, with a playful wonder to your voice.

“It's not stupid asshat, it keeps my hair out of my face” Abby spoke, with a voice as smooth as honey. It made you smile a bit, just listening to her speak with a careless freedom to her.

“But your beautiful hair! You gotta let it down once and awhile before your hairline recedes”

Abby turned around facing you, hair leaving your fingertips.

“My hairline isn't going to recede.” She says sternly

“You'll lose all your hair and end up looking like owen.”

“Owen? Just because he's my ex boyfriend doesn't mean you can bully him.”

“Yes it does, that's what ex boyfriends are there for!”

“You're just jealous.”

“Jealous of what? His inability to make you cum?” You said with a smirk, indulging in playful banter.

At that Abby blushed, staring into your eyes.

“Okay well, okay I have no response to that. You're right.”

“Oh my god I was just guessing but seriously?”

“Yea one time we had sex in a boat and he literally came after three pumps, leaving me high and dry.”

You wrinkled your nose in disgust

“Do you think he even knows where the clit is?”

“No, definitely not, believe me I tried teaching him but it was like… he just rubbed my inner thigh and then asked me if I came”

“Oh trust me, if you did, he would've known by the way you scream and-”

“ Oh I scream? You're the one saying my name so loud it's like you're trying to use echolocation”

“Echolocation? You're comparing my noises to echolocation? Fuck you”

“Oh you'd like that wouldn't you” 

“Oh my god Abby!”

“ See? Echolocation”

“You know what? I hate you.”

“ You didn't hate me last night”

“Well I do now”

“Let's change that, shall we?”

You nodded and right as Abby pulled you into her lap, you-

“Hey! y/n! Wake up! It's Ellie!”

You groaned, rubbing your eyes to wake up.

“Huh?”

“Get up!”

“Oh my god” You mumbled, reminiscing about your dream that seemed so real.

memories.

You got up and stumbled to your feet, your cargo pants had ridden up like pantaloons and your chest was nearly falling out of your tank top, you adjusted yourself before opening the door.

“Uhm, hi.”

You blinked.

“You woke me from my peaceful slumber” You said, with a tone of playfulness in your voice

“Oh did I? You certainly look like you slept well.”

Ellie took in your appearance, you stood there, in clothes from yesterday, wearing one sock and no bra, smelling of winter pine. She looked a bit too long at your smile.

Ellie knew she was warming you to you too fast, but since her break up with Dina, she missed human connection, friendship.

“Yea, I did actually” You smiled

“Come in Ellie,let me brush my teeth before we do anything”

Ellie stepped closer to you

“Oh yea, that morning breath is awful” She wrinkled her nose, clearly poking fun at you.

“ Well fuck you too!” You exclaimed, moving into the bathroom brushing your teeth and looking into the mirror.

Though you were bruised and scarred, you were clean and safe and you looked closer to what you were supposed to be.

Your eyes wandered to the golden locket laid on your collarbone, and your mood dropped.

Oh Abby…

Though you wanted to make yourself comfortable in Jackson, the goal was to find Abby. Eventually you'd leave and seek her out, once you had a lead.

“Hurry up!” Ellie spoke, removing you from your mind where your only thoughts were of pine and blond hair.

You quickly brushed your teeth and fixed your hair, trying to make it look at least a little decent. In a perfect world you would have worn makeup and had real clothes, but this was survival.

You eventually left the bathroom and faced Ellie, she got up from her place on your unmade bed and walked to the door, beckoning for you to follow her.

“ Where are we going?”

The air outside wasn't as humid as it felt with blood sticking to your skin, but it was still way too warm for cargo pants.You huffed a bit trying to cool down.

“To the stables! I wanted to show you the horses!”

“Horses?” 

“Yea!” 

“I dunno, I'm not an animal person…”

“Oh C’mon! It'll be fun!”

You smiled, Ellie seemed excited and you needed to think of something that wasn't Abby and your unclear past. You relaxed a bit before nodding.

“Okay…”

“Great! Let's go!”

The stables stunk.

They smelt of straight horse shit and it was disgusting. But you've smelt plenty worse.

Ellie was filled with joy, leading you to each horse and introducing you, she was clearly close with the animals.

“This is shimmer and this is-”

“Hey, Ellie”

Ellie paused looking behind her at the voice, you turned away from petting shimmer to look as well.

A woman stood, with long dark hair, dark eyes and a purple shirt. She was holding hands with some guy, he wasn't particularly remarkable but when Ellies eyes darted between their hands you could tell there was a thick tension. Not the sexy kind.

“Hi Dina” Ellie seemed… awkward, uncomfortable and a little hurt.

Whoever this Dina was, she clearly had a past with Ellie, you raised an eyebrow.

“Who's that?” Dina looked you up and down, she was beautiful but still, Ellies nervous energy made you uncomfortable too. Dina didn't sound particularly menacing or rude, honestly, she seemed sweet but Ellie couldn't respond. You took the liberty of introducing yourself.

“Im y/n” You offered a smile, placing a hand on Ellies shoulder, she looked at you.

“Ellie and I were just leaving.”

The man beside Dina looked between the two girls with a need to break the tension. He was kind enough to offer you a hand and a comforting gaze.

“Hi y/n, Im jesse, nice to meet you.”

You shook hands.

“Nice to meet you too Jesse, well we better run! See ya around!” You smiled and grabbed Ellies hand, dragging her along as you exited the stables.

You let go of Ellie's hand once you were out of sight.

“Ellie, what the fuck was that?”

Ellie groaned, putting her head in her hands.

“That was Dina…my ex girlfriend”

You blinked.

“Ex girlfriend.”

“Yea we broke up a little bit ago, I didn't expect her to be with Jesse again so soon. God that was so embarrassing! I stood there like a total dumbass gawking at her. What the fuck!”

Ellie began a ramble

“Ex girlfriend.” You said in shock. Ellie was like you, she liked girls. And you understood why she was with Dina, she was beautiful.

Ellie paused

“Listen if your gonna be a homophobic asshole I don't wanna-”

You panicked, oh no, she totally thought you were a bigot.

“No! No no no Ellie oh my god no” You laughed, she looked annoyed.

“Seriously! If your gonna call me a dyke or something Id rather not-”

“I like girls too!”

Ellie paused, her jaw dropped.

“Huh?”

“Is it really that surprising? Dude I love girls. And you dated Dina? Why’d you let her go? She's hot like super-”

Ellie held up her hands

“Okay, okay! Yea I get it, can we please stop talking about how hot my ex is”

“Sorry, sorry”

“She's the one that broke up with me…while we were dating, she found out she was pregnant with Jesse’s kid. It kind of brought them back together or whatever. And she dumped me.”

“She dumped you?”

“That's what I just said, yes, don't rub it in”

“No I didnt mean it like that…respectfully Ellie, you are fine as fuck and so far you have an amazing personality. I'm just surprised she would leave you because of a damn baby.” 

“You think im fine as fuck?”  Ellies face turned red, a blush covered her freckles.

“Respectfully, yea”

“Oh.”

You felt awkward again, urging you to change the subject.

“Anyways…can we find something to eat? I'm not nauseous anymore”

“Yea, yes of course. Lets go”

Eating certainly helped your unsettled stomach, you devoured your plate in less than three minutes, and Ellie joked about it, and you felt like you could finally escape the gaping hole in your chest that Abby left.

You assumed she was dead. It was almost better to think that she wasn't suffering and killing anymore. But something in your gut knew you were just making excuses. You knew better her than that. Still, you brushed those thoughts away. It couldn't be too bad, staying in Jackson for a while. Right? 

[museinspo]

[tlouxx]

Electromagnetism - p. 2

~ ellie williams x reader

——————————————————————————

part one | part three <3

synopsis: you and ellie williams have been long time rivals. you're a physics majors at wellesley college, and you’re competing for the same spot in the prestigious dr. ramsey’s lab as ellie. suddenly neither of you can escape the other as you’re both trying to navigate your final year of college.

content: college!ellie, mean!ellie, modern au, academic rivals to lovers, forced proximity, swearing, banter, eventual smut i swear, tensions rising between ellie and reader

——————————————————————————

Day 22

PHYS 302: Quantum Mechanics 

It’s only a few weeks into the semester, and this class is already demanding way too much of my time. Ellie and I are still sitting next to one another. I think both of us are too proud to move. Our first exam is coming up in less than a week, and to say I'm nervous is an understatement. I can tell Ellie is stressed out about it too. She’s been studying every free second, biting her nails down to a nub, and she wore that same shirt yesterday. Not that I’m keeping track! We are spending a significant amount of time together between our class schedule and work. I guess you begin to notice little details about someone when you’re with them almost everyday. Even if it isn’t by choice. 

…

I can’t think straight. So many variables are swirling around in my thoughts. Ellie. My increasing anxiety. This exam. Being the best at what I do. The professor lecturing is only background noise to the ardent contemplation of the current state of my life. Quite   frankly I’m struggling to understand what a quantum state is or why I should care about it. I’m only brought back to reality when I realize that Dr. L is talking to me. 

“Are you listening?” 

“I’m sorry. Can you repeat the question?”

“Can anyone else tell me what the variables are that define the quantum state of a system?” 

Ellie quickly speaks up, “Compatible and Incompatible.”

“Correct, Miss Williams.” Dr. L glares at me as she turns back around to the dusty chalkboard. 

…

I want to throw my head down against the desk. I knew that, and now I’ve made myself look like a fool in front of the class. I’m just so distracted by Ellie lately. Ever since she got in my face and said she intended to get the same lab position I’ve been dying to have, I feel frozen in time. I knew she wanted it, but it’s real now that she’s said it out loud. Getting into Dr. Ramsey’s lab could mean I have a fighting chance at grad school or even a future in research. It’s fucking important to me. It occurs to me that maybe Ellie and I could have an alliance. After all the saying goes, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. 

…

In the corner of my eye, I see Ellie chewing on her pencil. She’s studying again while I’m stuck explaining basic calculus to a freshman. It’s 8:07 p.m. Only 23 minutes till the end of my shift, but I tell her anyway that we’re closed for the night. I needed to escape the monotony of derivatives and integrals. 

Ellie’s head lifts up as she hears me escort the girl out the door. It seems I piqued her curiosity, “Why did you tell her we’re closed?” 

“She’s going to fail calculus with or without my help." I slump back in my chair knowing I'm barely conscious from my lack of sleep. "I’m just exhausted today. I don’t want to explain integrals again.” 

A smile appears on Ellie’s face. She looks down at her hands before looking up at me again. I think I almost made her laugh. 

“Trust me. I heard you explain it to her multiple times. I get it.” 

Before I know it, a smile is materializing on my face too. I laugh knowing we have a mutual understanding. To be honest, Ellie kinda intimidates me. Maybe that's why when I’m around her it makes my body feel like it’s on fire. I can hear my heart pumping as she starts to move in closer to me ever so slightly. I know she’s waiting for me to say something else. Maybe I should say something else. I hope she doesn't notice how I choke on my words as I try to speak.

… 

“Um, while we’re uh talking… I was just wondering how you felt about the exam on Friday.” 

Ellie settles into her seat. Confidence seeps out of every pore of her body. I watch as she sets down the pencil she was once chewing on. “It’ll be easy. Maybe not for you, but it will be for me.” 

“Sure… Ellie." I mirror her position. Trying to emulate the confidence she exudes. "I was just going to offer you some study tips in case you needed them.” I remark back at her. 

She leans forward in her chair. Without warning, the air between us seems to thicken. “You could barely keep up today in class. I certainly don’t need any of your help.” 

I lean forward too. “Really? Because I think that you’re studying every second you get because you know I’m better than you."

I stand up, and walk toward Ellie. As I begin to close the space between us, Ellie lifts herself out of her seat. She almost looks like she can't believe I'm saying this "..and you can’t stand the thought of it.”

Ellie looks like she's about to say something. Her mouth opens but closes. She turns around and opens up her bookbag. I watch as she rips a piece of paper out of a notebook. She writes something down.

She turns back around with a paper crumbled in her hand. Ellie inches toward me just like she did on our first night working together. My breath catches in my throat as my mouth goes dry. She pushes the piece of paper into my chest as I stumble backward. 

She swivels on her foot and begins to pack up her things. I grab the paper and look at it. She remarks “It's my number for when you realize you’re the one who needs my help.” 

… 

As I walk out of work, the cold of the night makes goosebumps appear all over my arms. I am still in shock of what just happened. Ellie pushes past me and into the emerging nightfall. Her perfume lingers behind. She smells of mint and eucalyptus. Not wanting to disturb her, I continue walking a few paces behind her.

My head feels clouded. I feel overwhelmed by all of the thoughts spinning around in my head. Did she seriously just do that? 

The moon brightens up the night sky as Ellie exits my view. My apartment building is only a few blocks away. I need to tell someone else about what happened tonight. I pull my phone out of my back pocket to text Dina. 

8:33 P.M 

you will never guess what just happened to me tonight 

D: What??! Spill please!

Well... I asked Ellie about the exam in 302 and she basically said it’d be easy for her, but not me. So i said well maybe i could give you tips so you wouldn’t have to study every second of the day. then she gave me her number?!!! and said to text her when i realize that i am the one that needs help??

D: oh my fucking god. 

isn’t she crazy? 

D: I mean.. I think you both are.

D: but i’m curious if that’s her real number? 

D: send it to me and i’ll let you know. 

you have her number?

D: we might’ve exchanged numbers at some point..

???

D" well…. we kissed once or twice. 

D: but we're not talking anymore 

omg. DINA! why didn’t you tell me!!! 

D: I thought you'd be mad and it was casual!!

D: send me the number!!! 

I threw my phone onto my bed after I sent the number over to Dina. I doubt Ellie would give me her real number. She probably just wanted to fuck with me. Not that it matters if its real or not.. I wouldn’t text her anyway. 

I’m disappointed that Dina didn’t feel like she could tell me about her and Ellie. I’m supposed to be there for her like she has been for me. I let this stupid rivalry get in the way of our friendship. Although when I look back on it, I don’t think they tried to hide it either. Maybe I’ve been too caught up in the fact that she was my nemesis to realize that Ellie and Dina were practically sitting on top of each other at parties or both missing at the same time. How could I have been so naïve to miss this?? My phone vibrates on my comforter. I feel my stomach drop. I’m not sure I even want to know. I open my messages with one eye open.

8:47 P.M. 

yep. that's ellie’s number. 

… 

Day 26

PHYS 302 : Quantum Mechanics 

The sun is shining in through the cracks of my blinds. My eyes are barely open. I feel the fatigue wash over me. The warmth of my bed is all-encompassing, but I know I have to pull the covers aside. My legs feel like lead as I walk into the bathroom to brush my teeth. The darkness under my eyes looks deeper than usual. I pulled an all-nighter studying for the exam today. I’m debating if I have enough time to run to the coffee shop down the street. I’m in desperate need of caffeine. 

I end up walking to get coffee.I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my eyes open without it. The wind is starting to have a chill to it as summer slowly bleeds away. The bell rings as I walk in the door. This is the coffee shop I originally met Dina in. Her hair was shorter then. Our friendship continued to develop the more and more I came here. Then we found out we were working together at the tutoring center, and well the rest is history. 

…

Walking into class with my iced latte in hand, I see Ellie. Her hair looks more disheveled than usual and her clothes wrinkled. Maybe I’m not the only one who pulled an all-nighter. 

I’m not sure if the caffeine is helping me or just making my anxiety worse. Despite my fear that I may not have studied enough, I feel confident. I tell myself today is going to be the day I’ll be setting the curve. Not Ellie. Staying up all night is going to be goddamn worth it when I see that smirk Ellie wears off her face. 

I look over at her as I sit down. She’s still biting her nails, but she doesn’t look at me. 

I shift my body to look at her. She finally looks up from her notes. I whisper to her “Goodluck Ellie.” 

Ellie looks at me and winks. She is wearing her exhaustion on her face, but her self-assurance is ever-present, “Goodluck to you too, sweetheart.” 

I turn back around seething. The heat is rising to my cheeks, but I don’t have time to think further because Dr. L starts handing out our exams. I’m ready for it.

… 

I’ve been anxiously pacing my room. Biting my nails even. I think Ellie is rubbing off on me. I dismiss the thought of becoming more like Ellie. The grades are going to be out tonight in 20 minutes. I continue walking back and forth on the hardwood floors of my room. I need to distract myself for just a little while longer. Instead, I keep brooding over my conversations with Ellie and the moment this exam score will come out. 

Only a few minutes are left until the email will pop up in my inbox. I spend this time running over the exam in my head again. I’m pretty confident I answered everything correctly. Well maybe except for question 25, but I think I’m overthinking it.

My laptop pings, and I know it’s the results. My hands are damp as I lift open the screen. The subject line reads Exam Results. I click on the link 

9:30 P.M. 

Subject : Exam Results 

Congratulations, 

You’ve received the top grade on exam one with a score of 100%. Take pride in this! 

Sincerely, 

Dr. L 

… 

I am buzzing with excitement. I shoot up out of my seat and sigh with relief knowing my hard work was worth it. I subconsciously start thinking of Ellie. How she feels in this moment knowing that I did better than her. I take pleasure in thinking that she’s jealous of me. Thinking of me right now too. I catch sight of Ellie’s note crumpled up on my desk. Before I know it, her number is in my phone, and I’m typing out a text to her. 

9:32 P.M. 

Need my tips now Ellie?

[kaitcake1289]

jo from mythic quest and dina from superstore could make the worlds most toxic and evil yuri couple but y'all aren't ready for that one

[fadeddollie]

࣭ ࣪ ˖ about lexy !!

please read before continuing !

hii im lexy, or lexiana !! i really like reading & writing, i'm 19, i'm a sophomore in college (studying veterinary medicine), i really, really love animals, especially deer & goats of any kind ! i have a service puppy - in training named major or mage for short (named after major tom from fear street obv) and she's a blue grey bully !! i could yap about abby for ages.. its actually sad. anywaysss i'm russian, i'm a plus-size femme, im a fem4all.. etcetc yk in general i'm just a big fantasizing lesbian ! i really like putting time out of my day to help others !, along with the fact i'm a veryyyyy big gentlewoman (i'll hold the door for u ;)) . i like to follow the fact of being a vamp, but not ignore the fact that i gave my life to jesus christ. (i don't know if talking about my religion on here is bad, someone please inform me if it is!!) but i really like music, some of the artist / bands i listen to are chase atlantic, xxtentacion, jessie murph, morgan wallen, zach bryan, fitz & the tantrums, lil peep, richy mitch & the coal miners, sombr, oasis, childish gambino, noah kahan, evan honer, tyler childers, bryson tiller, pnd, brent faiyaz, roy woods, jhene aiko, sza.. etc! as i said, i lovvveeeeeuhh music. idk what else to mention off the top of my head.. so maybe leave sum asks! ill respond asap !

[claumonkey]

Maybe in another life...