#Die ruan mei

[0bsessed-jay]

taoran I need fanart

I will draw some

[finisnihil]

2.5 spoilers for HSR

I hope Ruan Mei did actually revive Tingyun and also is part of the Luocha/Jingliu gang because it makes the dynamics so much funnier. It's not just an undead lesbian with her purse dog man anymore, it's now two undead lesbians and a mad scientist with their purse dog babygirl who is also the silly meow meow of the god they're all trying to kill with bug type pokemon.

[vampkomori]

love that penacony is just a whole entire game of cluedo. we even have:

sparkle as miss scarlet

misha as mrs white (the maid/butler)

aventurine as mrs peacock

dr. ratio as prof plum

sunday as mr green (reverend/priest)

acheron as colonel mustard (military fighty..esque)

and lesser known roles i had to look up:

black swan as madame rose (fortune teller)

robin as miss peach (a "southern belle")

firefly as monsieur brunette (con artist posing as someone else)

gallagher as inspector grey (officer=bodyguard)

[altairring]

leaving xianzhou so i can go to penacony only for me to go back there again <3

[franeridan]

jade drip marketing head in hands god really said I can't win

[sunny-reis]

man i spent so long just finishing aurum alley slouching on the couch

i no longer have any events to milk for stellar jades [i can't do aetherium wars, the one in fyxestroll garden, or fight ruan mei's fuckass bug she should explode for that]

[bioblsm]

WHAT DOES THEIR CAMERA ROLL LOOK LIKE?

❀ ꒰warnings꒱. boothill backstory spoilers, not proofread ಥ_ಥ

𖧷 characters. jing yuan, blade, dr ratio, ruan mei, aventurine, sunday, boothill

☆彡 notes. aventurine 🤝 boothill — being some of the most gay ass mfs i’ve seen in a hyv game (apart from bronya and seele) seriously their flamboyance still gives me whiplash…anyways this has been on my mind for months now but i’ve never gotten around to writing it!!! >_<

JING YUAN 𐚁 景元

[◉"] 2,304 photos, 83 videos

⌖ if you scroll really fast down or up his gallery, all you’ll actually manage to see is splotches of pink, blonde and silver

⌖ everything ranges from cute candid shots of yanqing (he takes multiple if yanqing’s fallen asleep while on duty), to sneaky pictures of fu xuan as she’s working where he’s in the foreground doing peace signs — the final picture of course being her looking at the camera lense directly to glare up at him

⌖ reaching weekends when he’s slightly a little more free or allows himself a small break to stroll around town, his camera roll is either filled with pictures of food he’s eaten or swords that yanqing may or not definitely ask about that he’s now more inclined to buy as he’s seen them in person (he’s a boy dad who loves spoiling his child, alright?)

⌖ the large majority of his photos unfortunately are work related, only really the recent ones being deleted from his gallery to clear up some space

⌖ however, while his photos are preoccupied with either his two kids or random scrolls with messy and rushed handwriting, each video is of you; jing yuan thinks a picture would belittle your beauty too much.

⌖ he needs something a little more real, a little more active and animated to help him quell the chirping loneliness that creeps up on his heart whenever you’re away from him for a prolonged period of time; if he’s feeling particularly mischievous he might sneak a quick but blurry picture of himself to send to you ♡

BLADE 𐚁 刃

[◉"] 9 photos, 2 videos

⌖shit is BARREN. literally a complete EMPTY VOID. if you snatched his phone somehow you’d assume he just got it despite him not having changed it ever since he received one

⌖ perhaps on the occasion you’ll find a cameo picture from one of the stellaron hunters as his phone is left unoccupied and someone decided to blast his entire gallery with their face (silverwolf specifically just hacks into his phone to keep putting random screenshots he’s never taken in his gallery to make him believe he’s taken them)

⌖ maybe sometimes he’ll screenshot different ways to die or health clinic locations he can avoid when he’s fortunately bleeding out but otherwise? nothing.

⌖ if you’re a massive yapper and love sending him pictures, he won’t go out of his way to download them for later usage (whatever that may be…) but he also won’t go out of his way to delete it if it’s accidentally automatically downloaded on his phone — maybe elios intended for it to be there?

⌖ it’s quite nice having a reminder of his significant other where he doesn’t have to actively listen to their voice… that’s a little exaggerative; but he loves just mapping out the features in your face, it helps him sleep just the slightest bit better with no ailment if he’s able to trace your features like a constellation on his blank, dark wall

DR RATIO 𐚁 真理医生

[◉"] 1000 photos, 100 videos

⌖ call it a form of ocd, but he NEEDS to have a decent ratio (i didn’t even mean for this to be a pun i’m so sorry) of his photos to videos; he doesn’t care if it’s 10:1, 2:1 1:5, he needs something that’s at least somewhat pleasing to the eyes

⌖ ratio immediately deleted anything he doesn’t need or thinks he won’t find use in for at the very least the month (this includes every single cameo shot aventurine or you have taken of yourselves on his phone without his permission, which by the way, he didn’t hesitate to scold you two for)

⌖ maybe if he’s feeling particularly loving (when is he ever?) he’ll allow ONE picture to stay.

⌖ his camera roll is purely filled with test results, written exams, student emails he needs to read over, things concerning the guild or the ipc and secret purchases of ducks he’s made (he’s not ashamed, he just doesn’t want you to know he’s buying ducks that are bigger in size every time so he can fill your shared bathroom)

⌖ realistically, maintaining such a perfect ratio of photos:videos is rather impossible unless you’ve got impeccable timing with things you save and delete so, in order to bypass this, ratio made a photo library to help serve as a base number of sorts

⌖ that photo library is of course a secret and locked haven filled with pictures and videos of you, none of which you can even recall taking. all of them hold at least some sort of significance to the both of you, but the ones that dr ratio loves the most is the ones that are just natural

⌖ the ones that show you being yourself, whether it’s where you’re cuddled up near a blanket reading something with a leg hiked up over the sheets or where you’re sleeping with your mouth wide open because you’re sick and unable to breathe through your nose properly; he loves it all

RUAN MEI 𐚁 阮•梅

[◉"] 505 photos, 28 videos

⌖ she tries to keep it as neat as possible; that means no sneaky pics taken of her by you, accidental blurry shots she’s taken (god forbid, those ones are immediately scrapped and done anew especially if related to an experiment of hers) thought that doesn’t mean she clears it in the regular

⌖ ruan mei actively saves any photo you send her, sometimes she’ll even screenshot the chat itself if she finds herself clutching at her heart as she swoons over a few lines of flirting that apparently you couldn’t hold yourself back from due to how much you missed her

⌖ she’s not someone really sentimental so despite having photos of her little cake-cat hybrids, she rarely ever rechecks them unless the trailblazer sent another report on their status to match

⌖ honestly her memory is impeccable to the point she doesn’t even need screenshot reminders of things like dates and experiments saved (would it even be called machine reductionist to call her a walking computer model at this point?) therefore, anything she saves that’s work or science related probably has more intricacies that she can account for

⌖ her gallery is a little boring otherwise. for someone of her morally grey standards you’d expect at least something worth mentioning, maybe even something dumb like a secret recipe she uses to make the sweetest (anti-truth serum…) pastries but no— nothing.

yet the reason for that is very blatant; not even her beloved has the privilege to witness her mendacity.

AVENTURINE 𐚁 砂金

[◉"] 8,793 photos, 777 videos

⌖ it’s a complete and utter mess to say the very least; dr ratio refuses to so much as glance at it whenever he’s near and topaz just gets an ick:

“how do you even manage to find anything?”

“luck.”

⌖ his photos range from absurd, to sweet to egotistical. things that remind him of you such as random rocks he finds, alcoholic beverages that have the same colour scheme of an outfit you wore the night before, an animal he saw that he swears if reincarnation was real would so be you

⌖ he has a specific library for just solely screenshots based off your chats, most of them including a significant amount of “i love yous” and goodbyes that promised a little something more when you met up next; everything that aventurine utterly cherished and craved

⌖ …and then the rest was either him showing the background of him photobombing others, pictures he took to send to you (or one of the ipc members to piss them off, sometimes even the trailblazer for a cheeky laugh) and on the even more popular occasion, all his extraordinary wins whether it be in poker, pool or uno

⌖ compared to his photos, his videos are slightly more interesting. a near 50/50 split that ranged between him telling dumbass jokes to piss off his coworkers, recordings of the back of dr ratio’s and or topaz’s head just for the future laughs (he likes the reminder that he does actually have friends and they aren’t just deliberate hallucinations born of loneliness).

⌖ but of course, all his “favourited” videos involve you somehow. sometimes it’s just a slip of your name while he’s sneakily recording a meeting, him telling you he misses you or vice versa, other times it’s just when he feels like he has a home. you snuggled up on his chest, hands intertwined together as your breathing nearly synchronises with him…moments where he feels as though he could forget the trademark imprinted onto his neck.

SUNDAY 𐚁 星期日

[◉"] 777 photos, 111 videos

⌖ now as much as i want to say “oh it’s all you! he has a special folder for you <3” i unfortunately can’t.

⌖ it’s almost most definitely videos of robin’s concerts, solo shows, videos he stolen off of audience members with good seats when he wasn’t available to personally hide in the crowd…a lot of the photos are also the same way; robin’s promotional pictures, screenshots from her recent advertisements and negative hate comments or news stories that he’s going to personally deal with later

⌖ that doesn’t mean he values or priorities you over his sister, absolutely not. you two are the only people in his life who he would unironically take down the skies and survive utter torment for if it meant your voices were the last things he heard as bellowing winds sliced past his eardrums to tune the world out in order to hear his own final breath

⌖ he tries his best not to be sentimental or nostalgic, as he’s been told as he grew up into the bright and maybe just slightly tragic and guilt-infested man he is today, those things in his eyes are an innate weakness of humanity. clinging onto something thats not tangible anymore.

⌖ but he can’t help but hold on to every video you send him. every picture of you smiling, laughing, every text of you saying i love yous, quoting love songs to him or showing him pictures where you jokingly said “that’s us” (did he tilt his head a few times when you kept sending animals to him with that particular correspondent message? perhaps, but it never made him blind to the intentions).

BOOTHILL 𐚁 波提欧

[◉"] 12,113 photos, 191 videos

⌖ he truly doesn’t gaf (give a fork) about how messy it is, all the things that are genuinely important are already locked and loaded into his noggin’, there’s no point in being frugal with the space he’s been given on a little cellular device

⌖ you wouldn’t believe it, but he rarely uses it unless it’s for emergencies. there’s plenty of trouble that comes around when you’re a galaxy ranger, which means having a constant tracking device on you like a phone that you update daily is a stupidly bad idea; which is precisely why his photo gallery is a mess

⌖ he quite literally can’t go in and clear it out otherwise it risks giving out sensitive information.

⌖ not applicable to you, that is. in boothill’s eyes, you’re an “emergency”. if you’ve texted him, it’s obvious you want his attention, which potentially means you could be in danger and he has to rush to the rescue like the flamboyant cowboy he is (no he absolutely knows you don’t need help, but there’s always that nagging “what if” factor, you know?)

⌖ he inwardly blesses whoever invented screenshotting because it would be an understatement to say that little as half of his gallery is littered with you. he’s just a bit of a boomer when it comes to technology like this, despite being a whole walking charging port himself ehem, so a lot of the pictures he has saved of you that you sent over whenever he cutely pleaded;

“missing ya, send me a lil’ somethin’ wont you?”

unfortunately are uncropped and framed with the outline of whatever messaging app you’re on.

⌖ if he lets you scroll up far back enough, maybe you’ll get to see just a glimpse of how similar his adoptive daughter’s smile was to his

© BIOBLSM ✮ do not copy steal or repost

[silkenedstars]

How They React To PDA

₊✦Honkai: Star Rail | Various Characters x Gn!Reader✦₊

Additional Notes: this was originally going to be just Sunday but then I thought “why not make this multiple characters instead?” so here I am now

In private, Sunday is usually fine with anything, but in public? Oh no no no no no, you better not!

The kisses he would’ve received with a relaxed smile in private are suddenly needles that you're trying to prick his skin with— that’s how he treats it anyway. But will he move away? No, he’ll just grumble about you being affectionate in public and maybe mutter a complaint depending on the context, but that’s all you’ll get.

But if you ever pull away, thinking that he’s uncomfortable? He’ll immediately pout. It’s subtle, sure, but it’s definitely there as he waits for you to return to what you were doing a minute ago. He will move on eventually, but he'll also remember what you did because he's petty like that.

✿❀✿

It’d be a miracle to get Blade somewhere public in the first place. Try as you might, it just won’t happen. But in the hypothetical situation that you get him somewhere public? He barely reacts to it.

The most you’ll get is a grumble, maybe even hear him mumble how “this isn’t the time” if you do it during a mission, but does he bother to stop you? No, he lets you do as you please so long as it’s not putting the mission in jeopardy.

He’ll even help you out a little with it. You’re struggling to kiss his cheek because he’s too tall? He’ll sigh before leaning down to make kissing his cheek easier, but not too much so you'll still have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss him.

After all, if you want to be affectionate with him, then you can wait until the two of you make it back and can spend private time together.

✿❀✿

Jiaoqiu’s all too happy to accept your affection and return it in equal amounts. He might even get too preoccupied with you and forget about what he was supposed to do. You’re his beloved after all, it would be a shame not to spoil you or let you spoil him for a minute longer, no?

But truthfully, it’s all just a way for him to distract himself from the horrors that haunt his mind each day.

It doesn’t matter if it’s in public or private, indulging himself in your presence seems to be the only way he could divert his attention from the past and to the present instead, where you are with him.

No longer does he need to fear closing his eyes and risk seeing images of the soldiers he nursed returning to the battlefield just to die, not when you’re here, holding him in your arms.

He can afford a moment of peace when he's with you and that's all that matters to him, even if it's just for a second.

✿❀✿

Whether there’ll be people around to witness the publicly displayed affection is its own question, but if you ever find yourself in a situation like that then Kafka certainly won’t shy away from your touch.

If anything, she’ll encourage you and return your affection to a degree.

Wrapping an arm around your waist, she’ll pull you close until your body is pressed against hers and kiss your forehead, cheek, nose, or lips; the first place that her lips touch, all the while she whispers praises into your ear for every bit of affection you return.

She'll make a show of it too, making sure that the others around you get the idea that you're hers and that she's yours.

Unfortunately, she might have to stop you at some point if the two of you are in the middle of a mission or have one that’ll start soon.

✿❀✿

With her, it’s… hard to tell.

One day she’ll react by freezing up before bursting into laughter and leaning into your touch, another day she’ll pounce on you and smother you by kissing all over your face, and another day she’ll chase you around for daring to try to hold her hand.

Regardless of what reaction she gives you, she does like being affectionate in public since it gives her a ton of opportunities to entertain herself, you and any other passerby with.

Mostly you and herself, though.

✿❀✿

Ruan Mei isn’t a fan of crowds, nor does she enjoy it when attention is drawn to her. It’s safe to say that you won’t really find opportunities to shower her with your affection in public, but in the rare chance that you do? She’ll simply sidestep your attempt at kissing her and move on like nothing happened.

Fortunately, it’s only really kissing and hugging that earns this reaction. If you want to hold hands, then she won’t mind so long as it’s not getting in the way of her tasks or research… unless you’re the type to swing your hands, then she won’t let you.

The only time she’ll let you hug or touch her in “public” is when there’s no one around. Otherwise, you’ll have to stick to holding her hand... if you still have that option.

✿❀✿

[onlyyourhallucination]

Cats

Pairing : Blade x Reader

Warning : Reader is not TB, Jealousy, TB mentioned

A/n : I ended up pulling for blade, and then I got his light cone on my first 10 pull, unbelievable 😭, I'm guaranteed Black swan again though, I got welt holy shii

Also, THOSE CATS? CRITTERS?, THEY'RE SO CUTE PLEASE I'LL DIE FOR THEM. how dare Ruan Mei left those cuties behind 😔, just give them to me, ish.

Meow

Meow meow

Meows echoing throughout the room you're in, you're sitting on the floor, holding one of the critters, while the rest is surrounding you. Nudging at your legs, then your back, trying to get your attention.

What's funnier is that these critters looked exactly like him, him who?

... Blade.

But he's currently away on a mission, and trailblazer sent you pics of the critter that looked exactly like blade. It took you quite a lot of convincing to get the trailblazer to send you the critters, also made more of the blade critters.

And now here you are surrounded of blade critters all around you, they're so cute. You picked them one up and nuzzled your face onto the top of them, you moved your face for a bit. And felt it's paw on your cheeks, it's dilated eyes blinking at you, and—

Meow

God, the way you melt at that cute meow. You are in awe, you planted a kisses on their faces. And you felt something fluffy kept hitting your jaw, you glanced over, it's the tail. It's wagging.

Oh, Aeons.

They're so cute what the actual—

"What is this." A familiar voice echoed throughout the room you're in, you recognize that voice like the back of your hand. You turned to be greeted with his piercing red eyes, his brows creased slightly before his red eyes looking down at the critters around you. And then the one you're holding, his frown deepens.

"Where did you get them" He approached you as he stared down at the critters, that's now looking back at him. And then the one you're holding meowed at him, his brow twitched a bit as he hesitantly lower himself down.

"Trailblazer gave them to me," You started as you play with their paws, "And I asked them to make more of these" You sheepishly laughed at the thought before looking at him. "They're cute, right?"

Blade didn't say anything as he stared at them, he's having a staring contest with them. His eyes then drifted back to the one you're holding, he gestured you to give the critter to him. You're quite hesitant but you did, "What are you going to—" before you could finish you saw him pushing all the critters away from you, stacking them up before going back at you and picked you up from the ground.

Throwing you over the shoulder like a potato sack, "I don't like them" he spat out. He walked out from the room, didn't even bother to close them. And that's his mistake, because the critters are now following him and you that's over his shoulder that's looking at the cute critters trying their best to follow Blade' speed.

"Blade please, look at them— they're so cute—" You're kicking your legs softly, making the other groan at your actions. He stopped for a moment before he looked back to see those bunch of small beings following, he sighed as he then kept walking.

"No, they're not cute." He retorted, "But they look exactly like you—" "No." He immediately cut you off, making you pout.

But something feels off from how he talks, you ponder for a moment. Trying to think of what's the cause of this, behavior of his.

Then it clicked.

"Blade" You called out, earning a hum from the other. "Are you jealous of the critters" The way that he didn't say anything at your question, is already enough proof. That, your man. Is indeed Jealous of the critters. The critters of himself.

"I'm not." He said, took awhile for him to say that huh? You snickered. "So you are Jealous of them" You heard a low grumble from the man, he didn't bother saying anything else at your questions after that.

The moment you two reached his room, he locked the door, leaving the critters outside. Meowing, even scratching at the door.

Blade threw you to the bed and climbed on top of you, "Blade, the—"

"Ignore them, why did you ask Trailblazer to give those little shits when you have me already?" He huffed before leaning down, his lips on your neck. "You belong to me, and I too, belong to you."

©onlyyourhallucination ;; do not copy/translate ;; 2024

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

meh why not. Honkai Star Rail X reader incorrect quotes when you have the time because I forgot you wrote for them.

I had a blast with this. Also, a special thanks to @tragedy-of-commons for reading these over.

Now! Your Wish Is My Command! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Natasha: You need to stop drinking so many energy drinks. Seele: You're one to talk. Natahsha: The last patient who refused to stop drinking energy supplements after I suggested it died. Seele: Oh no. Natasha: In a car crash. You: That sounds unrelated. Natasha: I’m the one who crashed it. Do not disobey me.

You: Why do you two like being out in the rain so much? Screwllum: I like splashing in the puddles and rain is just fun! Ruan Mei: I'm trying to get hit by lightning for my research.

Sparkle: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind. Sparkle: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. Sparkle: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year? You: …This is Monopoly.

You and Asta: Madam Herta, help! We did a bad thing! Herta: Does it affect me? You and Asta: Not technically— Herta: Then suffer in silence.

You: Do you know a turtle's greatest weakness? Ruan Mei: How slow they are? You: No, their only weakness is that they can get stuck on their back. Ruan Mei: What if you taped two turtles together? They'd be unstoppable, correct? You: … Ruan Mei: … Ruan Mei: …I will be back shortly You: Ruan Mei, NO—

You: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation. Archeon: Laughs -Elsewhere- Boothill: I suddenly feel like strangling someone.

You: I need some help dealing with a problem, do you have any suggestions? Jingliu: Sword. You: Do you have any other suggestions? Jingliu: …Two swords.

You: Do you have any idea how many laws you're breaking on a daily basis? Silver Wolf: One? You: No. Silver Wolf: Two? You: No. Silver Wolf: …Is it one?

You: why are you following me? Kafka: because we’re dating now You: okay… what about the rest of you? Kafka: we’re a package deal Silver Wolf, walking next to the rest of the Stellaron hunters while burying her face in a game and Blade maneuvering her to avoid hazards like light poles: buy one idiot, get several free

You: Do you want to play 20 Questions? Firefly: Sure! You: What's your favorite color? Firefly, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Will you go out on a date with me?

Kafka: I love making short jokes about Wolfie. You: They go right over her head. Silver Wolf, standing on a step stool: Fuck you.

Blade, reading the note in the lunch packed for him by you and Kafka: the path to inner peace starts with four words Blade: not my fucking problem Blade: Narrows Eyes I think this one is for Firefly

Firefly, reading the note in the lunch packed for her by you and Kafka: Please, for the love of the Aeons, be good. We know your love language is acts of service. We also know your only skill is stabbing people. Firefly: Tilts Head To The Side I… believe this is for blade…

You: I love my personal space You point to the Silver Wolf latched onto your back You: this is Wolfie. Wolfie also loves my personal space.

You: Why are you smiling Blade? Blade: Am I not allowed to be happy? Kafka: Of course you are Bladie… It’s just that you being happy, usually means someone’s lost their life… or a limb.

Pom Pom: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. The Express Crew, desperately trying to avoid spring cleaning after the last "Incident": … Pom Pom: Choo Choo motherfuckers, come out already.

Stelle, waving at the crew as she steps onto the express after being splattered by a small army of stings: hello. Himeko: i- Welt: we literally saw you die. Dan Heng: you died. March 7th: you're dead. Stelle, shrugging: death is a social construct.

You and Stelle: some fools be like “I play games to escape my responsibilities” then pick tank or healer Welt: In my greatest fantasies I am able to help people Dan Heng: In my fantasies I can prevent people from being hurt, even if it means I get hurt in their stead Himeko: In my fantasies I don’t have to know how to aim March 7th: In my fantasies I control who lives and who dies

You standing at the top of the stairs: What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase? Ruan Mei: I accidentally fell down. Herta: RUAN MEI PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay HER part of our rent! Screwllum: Ruan Mei bet me fifty Credits that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than she did falling down it, so I slid down the banister to get my money. Dr. Ratio: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and several galaxies away and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Screwllum.

You: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Ruan Mei: They do. Herta: …Why did you say that with such certainty?

Dr. Ratio, talking to You and Topaz: Well, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Aventurine do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing. You and Topaz: … Aventurine: I know I should be offended, but he's not wrong.

Silver Wolf talking about you: How do you feel about Them, Firefly? Firefly, vibrating at a frequency high enough to shatter a glass: I love Them a normal amount.

You and the Stellaron Hunters sitting in jail together You: So who should we call? Silver Wolf: I’d call Blade, but I feel safer in jail

You: When do you usually go to sleep? Blade: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the Aeons. Kafka: My body will pass out when it's ready Kafka and Blade: high five You: angry staring (edited)

Firefly: Good News! The store had blueberry bagels! Bad news, the cream cheese died… or became more alive… It is the wrong amount of alive.

Tingyun, after being caught lying in bed with your shirt on: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. You: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Yukong: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? You: Peonies, why? Yukong: … You: Were you going to get me flowers? Yukong: … You: … Yukong, under her breath: It's a possibility…

Quingque: I owe you one. You: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

Blade: walks in to see you and Firefly sitting on the couch facing away from each other. Blade: I know I will more than likely regret asking, but what's going on there? Firefly, gaming: They're having a fight. Blade, confused: Then why are they holding hands? Kafka, playing with her Cat: Fighting makes them sad.

Natasha: Why are there little handprints all over the wall? You, whispering to The Moles: Why are there little handprints all over the wall? The Moles: Because we have little hands. You: *Nods Sagely Before Turning To Natasha* You, with a smile: Its because The Moles have little hands

You, when Wildfire was just starting: Natasha, sweetie, the love of my life, all you have is a handful of impoverished shantytowns paying us protection money. We're basically slum lords.

Natasha: And what's the main rule we have? Julian: Don't dare The Leader Of The Moles, Dark Hook The Great to do stupid stuff. You: And why's that? Hook with her head stuck between two stair rails: Because I have no regard for my personal well being.

[sfznyxio]

❝ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 ❞

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. following the success of the recruitment process and their first concert, this odd combination of a band becomes busy these days. thus, they hired a manager to keep track of their schedules. and to an extent, deal with their shenanigans that may or may not feature on the news.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒. argenti, aventurine, jingliu, kafka, robin

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. gn!reader. celebrity au, musician au, modern au. comedy, fluff. 1.1k wc. inspired by the concert animated commercial: “before the show begins”. canon elements (jingliu - powers; aventurine - cake cats; robin - halovian features). reader’s the straight man in this chaos. cameos from yanqing (argenti, jingliu), stelle (argenti, jingliu, kafka) and caelus (aventurine, robin). brief mentions of ruan mei (aventurine) and sunday (robin). word vomit for the most part.

𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐀. happy pride month, bitches. what a good way to start off the month watching the haikyuu movie, seeing volleyball boys stare at each other intensely and metaphorically stab their friends in the neck. all i can say is that the animation was insane. speaking of insane, the hsr concert was released to celebrate the game’s first anniversary. “sway to the cosmos” is my favorite out of the setlist, and i even made it as my train jam. imagine seeing it live though… i die. i had to look up what instrument jingliu plays and i strongly believe it’s an erhu based on how it looks. i kinda don’t like this; i have no idea what i wrote. it’s my worst attempt at being funny lol.

𝄞༉‧₊˚. ARGENTI

< drummer argenti preaches ‘scripture of beauty’ to fans >

“hey! what’s the ‘scripture’ supposed to be? actually, who is idrila? look, you can’t spout names like that and not expect a scandal to not happen.” argenti seems to be in the zone while dancing with his fans at the park, so he most likely didn’t hear what you just said. you glance at stelle and yanqing to get him to snap out of it, but they’re completely drained, on the floor from being dragged into the spotlight earlier.

“my lovely manager! since you’re here, you must be interested in being a follower?” not at the very slightest, but the name argenti throws out and about drives news outlets and his fans up on the walls. that may put the drummer at risk of being a subject of misunderstandings and fanwars, which is why you’re here in the first place. you can feel the stares of his audience burning into your skull, so you extend your hand to “express” your interest.

“wonderful. now, let us dance under the name of beauty!” throughout it all, everything blurs out. not even five minutes in, you’re exhausted out of your mind, unsure if argenti has given you useful information about his charade. in the end, you gather more questions than answers, and practically leave the drummer to handle the potential messy aftermath. he’s an enigma; anyone can tell you he’s the eighth wonder of the world, and you’ll believe it.

𝄞༉‧₊˚. AVENTURINE

< guitarist aventurine adopts scientist’s ‘sweet’ creations >

“rise and shine. your cats won’t stop bothering me until you wake up, by the way.” all the feline pastry lifeforms on your head, shoulder, and feet mew in agreement. caelus somehow has collaborated with the scientist who created them, making some that resemble his friends, one of which is aventurine. the guitarist adopts his lookalike for fun at first, and now his house is their haven, which makes his issue of organization worse.

“hey, pretty boy! you better wake up, or i’ll sit on your face and suffocate you!” the synesthesia beacon in your phone picks up a translation from under aventurine’s arms. there’s a cake cat that resembles you, but do you actually sound like that when you’re upset? never mind that; the most important question here is why does he have a cake cat version of you here? well, he’s already behind schedule, so out of curiosity, you try out its suggestion. 

“okay, okay. i’m up.” the cat cake version of yourself huffs at him taking forever to get ready, but seems proud of making its threat happen with your help. aventurine sees five pairs of eyes staring at him, with one in particular full of disappointment for being inconsiderate. he promises to keep track next time, but you aren’t sure he’ll truly follow through if he’s convinced to expand his cake cat kingdom.

𝄞༉‧₊˚. JINGLIU

< erhu player jingliu unleashes ice blades at passersby >

“for the last time, the people who watched you perform gave you strales because they appreciate your talent. this is the fourth time this week of scaring them with your sword.” you note a careful distance between the passerby and jingliu, who resumes playing her erhu like it’s none of her business. stelle has learned it the hard way so luckily she has you to deal with the erhu player. the first victim of her powers slips out from a tree to wish you luck with a thumbs up.

“ah, has that young man come yet? i would like to have a spar with him.” jingliu’s referring to yanqing, another swordsman. he loves competition, so this entire street, or the entire city even, is screwed into becoming an icy wonderland. telling her that he’s not here, she returns to performing. you notice a brilliant idea coming into fruition as soon as she stops her bow halfway, and it already doesn’t sound good.

“manager, why don’t you spar with me? let’s see who will fall first.” you immediately refuse without a second thought. jingliu would win anyway as she’s more skilled with the sword and you have no powers, so it isn’t a fair fight to begin with. you’re just relieved that she didn’t unleash her icy blades for the fifth time, and that you make it alive throughout the confrontation.

𝄞༉‧₊˚. KAFKA

< violinist kafka sends many clothes stores bankrupt >

“listen… i get that you look great in everything and all, but do you think this is way too much?” you gesture to the cart overflowing with concert outfits. kafka hums in contemplation as she examines her next purchase in the mirror, then nods in approval which seals the deal.

“oh, you think so too? alright then, i’ll have stelle handle all payments as usual.” stelle averts her gaze away to avoid your temper, pretending as if she didn’t enable the violinist’s unlimited shopping spree. you can sense the employees fearing for their livelihoods that are at stake, and you can feel like yours will be at the state soon if this keeps up. scolding kafka to unload everything in the cart, the wave of relief in the staff washes away when she reveals a special trick up her sleeve.

“what about your wardrobe? surely you can’t wear the same exact thing everyday, don’t you think?” kafka jabs into one of your weaknesses: the lack of variety in your closet. it’s important to appear presentable as the band manager, but your uniformity gives you not a lot of room to try out different combinations. the only hope of this store is gone, and so is the store itself as soon as the credit card is swiped.

𝄞༉‧₊˚. ROBIN

< singer robin disappears once again from photoshoot >

“when your brother finds out you snuck out again, he will kill me in the most painful way possible.” whenever you bring that man up, always in the worst case scenario, robin responds with a smile as reassurance that he won’t hurt you when she’s around. but it’s more like she won’t get in trouble, leaving you to shoulder the blame.

“don’t worry! caelus will take care of everything. ah, i hope i wasn’t too late.” the self-proclaimed master of stalling strikes again. knowing that man, robin’s confidence in caelus is astounding. because sooner or later, he’ll find out that she’s at a toy store with you to buy the limited edition of a clockie figurine. the singer will be happy, and you’ll end up dead in a ditch probably.

“oh no, photographers are here. can you cover for me?” robin tucks her wings beside her face so they can fit under her mask. while she browses through the aisles, you direct the photoshoot team outside, hopefully far enough from the store to remain off radar from her brother’s watch. you pray that caelus comes back in one piece as well as yourself. the cost of making a halovian’s day brighter, especially if she’s a famous singer and has a control freak of a sibling, is quite risky.

[livelaughlovesubs]

I need to vent amongus Boothill hngg 😩 I've been down bad since the leaks like seven plus months ago hnggg please plEASe 😩

I'm a slut for cowboy characters hnggg I love his drawl literally told my partner before his voice was released if he didn't have an accent then what was the point

Please he's so pretty and shdbdhdh he makes me giggle and kick my feet I know he'd be the Roger Rabbit to his lover (or like Hosier when he tweeted "my girlfriend is made at me I want to die") he's such a devoted hunk of man 😤 listen he's the lock in kinda hoe ya know when he's in a fully committed relationship he's the biggest sluttiest sub, he doesn't half ass his relationships ok

I know a lot of people debate on if he can feel or not with his body but I raise: we literally have VR sensors to detect touch IRL rn so I'd say with some effort absolutely but typically if he's working it's probably best they're not as active

Country boy, I love youuuuuu 😘😘😘😘

I don't care what biology or society says I'm gonna make him my bride and impregnate him even if I have to get Ruan Mei's help (she'd absolutely do it out of curiosity fr fr).

-🐇

Pls, when I first saw leaks of him I thought he was very ugly 💀 I DONT KNOW WHY, I LOOKED AT THOSE LEASK AND WAS LIKE: WTF IS THIS MAN? And all the comments were simping over him, while I sat there thinking, ‘damn, ya’ll simping over such a random ass cowboy? Why.’

Now I’m such a whore for him on god, I came back to the game just for him and have 200 tickets prepared for him 😭😭 mind you before I came back I had zero (cuz I took a break after losing on balde’s banner again) prefarmed all his shit and got artefacts ready for him too. Also build my other characters, grinded till I got to 300 tickets to get an exclusive bronya for him etc etc. How twisted fate is uff.

Anyway, boothill as a slut/ whore is such a hot thought. Him being a teasing bottom, who almost seems like a power bottom would be so sexy. But after I saw his ‘shy’ expression I must say, an inexperienced, all talk no bite and shy boothill is >>>>

HIS BLUSHING FACE IS SOOO CUTE I ALMOST DIED ON THE SPOT, I ALMOST CRIED.

Just imagine him being cheeky, until you touch him, praise him and stroke his hair. How his eyes widen and his lips tremble due to the embarrassment. His body must be overheating again, otherwise he doesn’t have a plausible explanation as to why he feels so hot. Avoiding your gaze at all cost as he put on big airs again, only to squeak and whine when you kiss him so tenderly <33

[spirit-lanterns]

Me looking at my household of Ganyu, Shalom and Ruan Mei

Cocogoat working overtime

Ganyu is gonna die in that house 😭😭

Ruan Mei is scary but somewhat tolerable, Shalom is just insane. But ykw, they’ll tolerate each other…for your sake. I feel like Ruan Mei and Shalom would get along nicely with their weird interests in analyzing people and data. Meanwhile Ganyu would sit there and nod, trying to follow along with the conversation but failing because the other two women are freaks (lovingly)

[tumblezwei]

I am a Ruan Mei defender, not because I think she's a blameless misunderstood character, but bc I am very afraid of people interpreting her terrible actions as bad writing bc "the game still expects us to like her" or overexaggerating her bad traits in order to make Dr. Ratio look better by comparison.

And that's not to say I think Ratio is a "bad" guy either, I think the whole point of introducing him alongside Ruan Mei was to highlight how different the Genius Society operates compared to "normal" academics. Ratio's over the top arrogance makes him off-putting at first, but his genuine desire to spread knowledge to everyone who wants to learn it is the perfect contrast to the obsession and selfishness of the Genius Society, who only ever care about fulfilling their own desires without concern for those below them. Even Screwllum, the member who seems the most sociable and friendly, let Ratio carry on with his antics on the space station just to see what would happen, even though it put the Trailblazer in danger and threatened the whole facility.

So that is to say, Ruan Mei is like that on purpose. We aren't supposed to see her drugging us and sending us after an incomplete Emanator of Propagation and be confused as to how she's a "goody guy." She isn't. None of the members of the Genius Society are "good" people just bc we're allied with them. Herta uses Traliblazer as a guinea pig for the Simulated Universe after all, and we now know that as long as it's something he's curious about, Screwllum won't interfere to protect us even when he's already figured out the solution to the problem we're facing.

But I also want to do a little apologism for Ruan Mei bc sometimes the accusations I see lobbed at her is a bit much. Like, yeah, she drugged us, but it was a temporary inhibitor that literally only stopped us from giving people information about Ruan Mei. And she didn't do it just to fuck with us? Ruan Mei is incredibly aware of how emotionally detached she is and knows it's almost impossible for her to understand the affection given to her by her creations. She doesn't drug us out of some evil desire to control information, she does it bc she knows her time on the space station is temporary and wants to avoid leaving behind any memories of her being there. That doesn't make it okay and it's still presented alongside everything else she does that's uncaring towards TB and her creations, but it makes it a little more complicated than just "she's an unfeeling sociopath that would happily watch us die." It's bad, but it's also one of Ruan Mei's weird and not good ways of showing consideration.

It's interesting, is what I'm saying. It's compelling. And I don't really dig how it she gets reduced to a two-bit manipulator.

I'm a bit of a stickler for this particular thing bc it's something I truly adore about HSR's writing, and also something I see as one of the game's core themes. There is no clear divide between "good" guys and "bad" guys. The Genius Society is full of emotionally constipated weirdos who wouldn't pay a single bit of attention to us if we weren't interesting to them, but they're also important allies to the Express. The Stelleron Hunters are our biggest opposition and wreak havoc on whatever planet they enter, but we know that their goals somewhat align with our own and unless you go out of your way to be mean to her with every dialogue option, it's pretty obvious that Kafka is someone Trailblazer loves.

And even Cocolia, someone who almost destroyed the last remnants of civilization on her own planet, gets treated with sympathy. Bronya is allowed to mourn her mother and still see her as an aspirational figure, all the while Serval is allowed to break off ties with her and definitively move on from her past.

It's a theme that carries over to a lot of HSR's important side quests too, where often you're expected to choose between two options that both have some pretty heavy downsides no matter what. You have your own moral compass, and along the way the choices may seem crystal clear, but it's never so black and white as you predict. It's a game about decisions, about making your own way in life and learning about the different worldviews of those you meet. Good or bad, helpful or hurtful, it's not always so obvious as "this person did something bad to me, now I will forever dislike them."

"When there is the chance to make a choice, make one that you know you won't regret," "explore, understand, establish, and connect," "the Express welcomes everyone" etc etc

[finisnihil]

Jingliu’s character and story genuinely make me want to puke blood and cry

She was given a chance to live instead of survive by the same people who would twist that into Mara.

Now she’s teamed up with other characters who also represent life in some way. Luocha, who is somehow tied to Yaoshi (possibly an Emanator) against his will, and Ruan Mei, who’s devoted to understanding life itself. She can never be just ready to die again, over and over she’s given something to lose in exchange. Maybe she’ll follow her master into death, but it won’t be peaceful or happy.

Maybe she’ll still see her future stained in the cup she drank from with her friends.

Maybe she’ll haunt the Luofu even longer as Yanqing’s ice.

Maybe she can lift the blindfold long enough to glimpse Feixiao and, for a brief instant, see the life stolen from her.

[n4tsum1-san]

i'm like 90% feixiao doesn't have a tail because of borisin gene mutations

her affliction (moon rage) seems like a perfect match with the description of valorous bracelet of grappling hooks, which says that a lot of rescued foxians have mixed borisin heritage:

It is rumored that the foxian warriors of the Verdant Knights often rescued worlds ruled by the borisin. These foxians born in "fallen territories" have mixed bloodlines, occasionally producing individuals exhibiting atavistic mutations. These foxian individuals are conscripted as war slaves, driven by their wolf-headed masters to serve as vanguards before battles and as cannon fodder to delay attacks by Xianzhou ships. "Join the Verdant Knights, and we will give you the chance to seek revenge against your wolf-headed masters!" During recruitment and training, the general remembered saying this to the young foxian girl. But she felt guilty for the latter half of the sentence that she couldn't bring herself to say: "Like me, you were born for war and will die for war." Although the war slaves possessed strength and speed comparable to their wolf-headed masters, their mutations also depleted their life and sanity. When their will was burnt to embers by rage, they would descend into bloodthirsty monsters. When pure bestial fury rules their bodies and after completing the final hunt and chase of this life, these gauntlets will become shackles that bind their hands, never to be separated from flesh and blood again.

this also explains why yaoqing foxians are genetically similar to the borisin, at least according to dan shu

i wonder if ruan mei could cure her condition?