#Didn't really care about the show anymore
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entirelysein-e · 2 days ago
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『 Faking it 』
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☼ synopsis: you fake your orgasm and are faced with the different ways these men handle it. Will they help or will you get punished?
☼ characters: Sukuna / Yuuta Okkotsu / Choso
☼ wc: 1461
☼ cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, mean Sukuna, double penetration, rough/cervix fucking, name calling, slightly mean/manipulative but whiny Yuuta, creampies, soggy Choso, (mutual) masturbation, multiple orgasms, overstimulation
☼ notes: enjoy the smut and don't forget to reblog!
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ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Sukuna:
✧ oh boy. Are you perhaps dumb or don't care about your life?? Now WHY would you do that to yourself??
✧ You were riding your king just the way he likes it, strong arms bouncing you up and down his cock until you were a blabbering mess for him, almost drooling from how good you felt
✧ Sukuna didn't allow you to cum however, punishing you for no reason other than his own entertainment but the closer he got, the further you could feel your release slip away, his voice booming “let go- fucking cum,” he groaned out and you know better than to disobey your kings orders
✧ You weren't close anymore and decided to fake it, moaning and whimpering his name and title while you put on your best show but Sukuna could feel that this wasn't real, your pussy not gripping him as tight as it usually would and you were certainly not obnoxiously wet either
✧ while one set of hands held your hips down, allowing the tip of one of his cocks to sit right at your cervix, the other set of hands wrapped around your throat
✧ The aura around you shifted and so did his gaze from adoration for his queen to a derogatory one full of disappointment “You owe me this orgasm, slut. Do you really think that I'll let you get away with this?” His voice echoed and made you flinch, gasping for air
✧ You thought you were doing so well, being his good girl and giving him what he wanted but you just shoveled your own grave - knowing so when the mouth on his abs opened to lap at your clit while you remained impaled on his cock
✧ Sukuna enjoyed to watch you squirm on his lap only to sound so pathetic with every whimper and whine that fell from your sweet lips. Your noises the worship he craved until he felt your walls flutter around his cock for real this time
✧ “Such a needy little thing needing her clit played with,” he cooed and started to bounce you up and down his length again until you were creaming all over his cock, your eyes glistening with tears from how intense it felt when his cock bruised your cervix but he was right - you give your king what he asks for, not a weak excuse
✧ He was far from done with you, one round never enough to satisfy him so when he flipped you two over and pushed your head onto the hard ground beneath you knew the true punishment is only about to come
✧ both his cocks were lined up with your holes, ready to plow into you until you were ready to beg him to stop, until the safeword falls from your lips because his sweet queen can only take so much pleasure
✧ “just like that- take my fucking cocks,” he mused when you eagerly pushed against him until the tips slid into your weeping cunt and ass, begging him to destroy you. It's what you deserve for faking it.
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ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Yuuta:
✧ Yuuta teased you all evening long with calculated touches, whispered promises of what the night will hold and when he finally touched you it just felt so good
✧ it was worth the wait, everything you've desired - skilled fingers playing with your clit and massaging your sweet spot as his lips latched onto your boobs, gently sucking on your nipples
✧ the squelching noises of your cunt filled the room with their lewdness but every time the knot was about to snap and your cunt started to flutter, Yuuta pulled away
✧ “Not yet, baby. Need you to cum around my dick,” he whispered into your neck as his kisses wandered from your chest to your neck to leave little marks there
✧ His words were full of promises but the edging eventually drove you further away from an orgasm each time and when he was finally on top of you, his dick aching hard when he sunk it into your heat it was unobtainable
✧ Yuuta was rutting into you with quick and calculated thrusts, hitting all the spots that had your toes curling but it just didn't push you over the edge, guilt building up inside of you
✧ He was whining into your neck, begging you to release with him because he couldn't without the feeling of your plush walls milking him dry and the guilt was eating you up alive
✧ you faked your orgasm just as his thrusts grew sloppy and you could feel his cum painting your walls white as the softest moans fell from his trembling lips but a sigh followed the moment he came down from his high
✧ With his cock still buried deep inside of you “You owe me this orgasm, baby… I worked so hard for it. Don't do that to me,” his voice cracked while trying to sound stern and the dangerous glint in his eyes lit up
✧ He took it as a jab to his ego as well as feeling bad for not making you feel as good as he felt so he made it his mission to make you feel good until you begged for him to stop
✧ Yuuta bit into your shoulder when his thrusts started once again, desperate mewls and whines falling from his lips as he pushed through his own overstimulation to punish you by making you orgasm over and over
✧ And when his hand slid between you to rub your clit you started to clench around him - this time for real and you could feel him smirk against your neck, not knowing the sinister thoughts his mind held. He would prove to you - and himself - that he's more than capable to get you off
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ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹ Choso:
✧ You were Choso’s first in everything and he was always so eager to learn how to bring you pleasure in all ways possible
✧ the concept of faking an orgasm was new to him, something you've never done before and he didn't even know why anyone would do that to begin with so the thought never crossed his mind
✧ and Choso tried so hard to get you off that afternoon after you had such a stressful day, genuinely just wanting to help you relax and he knew the best way. When you sank down on his thick cock to ride him, your cunt immediately clenched around him
✧ Having learned that you like it best when he rubs your clit while you ride him he eagerly swiped his thumb over your sensitive bundle of nerves with just the right amount of pressure
✧ “you're taking me so well… so good for me,” he mumbled against the skin of your boobs as he gently suckled on your flesh while you bounced on his cock, desperate for an orgasm that just wouldn't come, your mind far too preoccupied to let your body relax
✧ So when Choso came, you clenched around him and moaned like you usually did when you came, not letting him know that it wasn't a real one - you knew he would be disappointed with himself and you didn't want to make him insecure since this wasn't his fault at all
✧ After a while of cuddles you excused yourself to the bathroom to “clean up” but in reality you sat down on the tiled floor and slid two fingers into your cunt, still dripping with Choso’s cum
✧ either you took to long or you weren't as sneaky as you thought because your lover knocked on the door shortly after, begging to come in and you opened the door, trying to act normal as if you were just cleaning up
✧ “I am aware of what you're doing in here… were you not satisfied? Did you want another round?” He questioned, looking like a hurt puppy until you explained to him that you did not orgasm - and still weren't able to do so because your head is just so noisy
✧ Choso sat down on the floor with you and nodded, his head working out the situation and why you would do what you did but it didn't matter in the end - all he wanted was for you to release and this time for real
✧ Your loving boyfriend doesn't care if it will take you hours to tumble over the edge, he will help you if you allow him, alternating between fingering and lazily fucking you until your body was so sensitive that his fingers coaxed an orgasm out of you by rubbing your clit - letting you fall from one orgasm right into the next
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Networks: @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn @houseofsolisoccasum
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bitterkarella · 8 hours ago
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Midnight Pals: HBO show
King: guys, did you hear that there's a new harry potter series on HBO? Barker: steve i could not care less because i am not a child Barker: i'm an adult and when i want to watch a show about child wizards going to school Barker: i watch a show about child wizards going to school that's for adults King: King: King: ok uh well anyway
King: guys i'm really conflicted about this new harry potter series King: i heard that JK Rowling was using the money to buy a giant meat grinder to turn trans people into sausage Barker: i don't think she's doing that, steve King: oh, no? so you're saying it's actually 100% okay to support this new harry potter series? Barker: i didn't say- King: Phew! let me tell you, THAT is a relief!
King: this was a real dilemma! one the one hand, JK Rowling uses her money to fund transphobia King: but on the other, i still have this super cool Gryffindor scarf King: i mean, it's got the right colors and everything King: it would be such a waste not to wear it…
Barker: steve, i think you should really think about what kind of message that sends King: oh right right yeah King: you're right of course King: well, i off to maine Barker: steve Barker: the scarf is still around your neck
King: huh? what? oh King: isn't that odd King: [fingering scarf] yet… after all… why not King: why shouldn't I keep it?!
Barker: i think you should leave the scarf behind King: bah! what business is it of yours what i do with my own things?! Barker: there's no need to get angry King: YOU WANT IT FOR YOURSELF!! Barker: STEPHEN H. KING Barker: DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS
JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: it'ssss me jk rowling Rowling: writer of the beloved manifesssto Harry Potter and the final ssolution
Barker: oh you're back? don't you have some tweeting to do? Rowling: no, twitter's not really fun anymore Rowling: there jusst aren't a lot of trans people to yell at there anymore Barker: aw that's a real shame Rowling: i mean Rowling: i tried yelling at sspooniess and fat people Rowling: but it'ss jusst not the sssame
Rowling: i'm proud to sssay that i'm going to be intimately involved in the new harry potter ssseriesss Rowling: HBO thinksss I've got a lot to contribute Rowling: now that fassscisssm is cool again, assssociation with the Rowling name is a pluss!
Rowling: ha ha ha! you thought it was all over for ol' JK Rowling! Rowling: little did you know that all i had to do was wait for the complete collapse of the liberal democratic consensus and the return of violent populism and then my particularly british brand of stochastic terrorism would be back in vogue!
Rowling: joke'ssss on you! ha ha ha! Poe: yeah i guess it is Poe: Poe: boy it feels bad Rowling: ha ha ha!!! lick it up, bitch!! LICK! IT! UP!
Rowling: i hope you're posting this on bluesky! i really want to see what the no-avi accounts with names like "politically homeless twitter refugee" and "Sebastian gorka daddy complex" have to say! Rowling: and don't even think of blocking them without engaging! Poe: why not? Rowling: cuz Rowling: Rowling: cuz it's not fair, okay?!?!?
Rowling: you can bet that i'll be keeping a close eye on things over at HBO Rowling: especially on these child actorss Rowling: in case they do a gender nonconformity Rowling: we're building campsss right now to deal with the problem Poe: King: Lovecraft: Koontz: Barker: Barker: jesus christ this is getting dark
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lexirosewrites · 3 hours ago
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This is a famous Au, with rockstar A!Eddie and bodyguard O!Steve. Steve was always bigger for an omega and Robin helped him feel comfortable in his body. So, Steve felt able to keep working out and could even take down alphas if needed.
Steve's dad didn't like having such a strange omega son, when having an omega son was bad enough. So, Steve was kicked out and he panicked. He didn't want to force Robin to take him in or go to Joyce or Hopper about it.
Out of pure luck, there was an ad for a bodyguard. There would be a big background check and they would have to wear scent patches at work. Steve thought it was perfect. He could pretend to be something other than an omega and never let someone else tell him he wasn't a good omega.
Steve doesn't know the artist but soon enough he meets the alpha. Eddie is a wild but kind man. But more than that, he smells like Steve's mate. But even though he's right by Eddie, the man never really gets to know him. And Steve's had to push the others back who claim to be Eddie's mate. So, he doesn't say anything. It feels like rejection that Eddie can't smell him year after year.
Robin says he's being ridiculous because over the years, Steve's just kept his patches on longer and longer. To the point where even his house doesn't smell like him anymore. But Steve shrugs her off, his omega feeling beaten down after so long being close to his mate and not being able to hold him or be held by him.
Then there's an accident during a show where Steve covers Eddie with his own body to protect the man. And he loses his hearing in the process. Since it was Eddie's fault, Eddie feels guilty and spends time at Steve's bedside. However for the first time in a long time, Steve can't wear the patches. His scent is extremely weak and Eddie hears from the doctor himself about how patches worn for long periods of time hurts your inner designation. And that it seems like Steve never really took his off between being with Eddie, on call for Eddie, or only having a day here or there off.
Robin is there for Steve and she hates the alpha on principle for causing so much pain for Steve. Along with the fact that even after years and years of them working together, Eddie hadn't known his name. Like Eddie didn't care about his staff or anyone other than himself. Steve has no ill will towards Eddie because he sees Eddie as who he really is. He knows the man is kind and good, Eddie just forgets that sometimes.
As Steve heals, Eddie pushes himself to learn sign language and starts befriending those on his staff. He meets the kid at pyrotechnics, Dustin, who is a huge fan of Eddie but also basically Steve's little brother. He meets his make-up artist and costume designer the twins, El and Will, another one of Steve's kids. His soundboard techs, Max and Lucas, is almost more vicious over Steve than Robin. One of the people who help write his songs, who he actually did know, Mike, was surprisingly protective over Steve and angry with Eddie after the attack.
Eddie realizes that Steve befriended more of Eddie's staff than Eddie is. Eddie's guilty but Steve isn't mad. No, Steve never even accepted Eddie's apology. There was nothing to apologize for.
As time goes one, Eddie feels like shit but he's really trying, he just got swept up in performances and everything on his schedule. Soon he's escaping to Steve who finally got Eddie to understand that he hasn't stopped working in years. Every party, every show, interview, photoshoot, they were all performances. Eddie's never taken off that mask he started with and he's tired.
He finds comfort in Steve's scent and soon Eddie's basically living out of Steve's small 2 bedroom apartment that he shares with Robin.
“rockstar alpha eddie is lowkey an asshole” is an underrated agenda tbh!!! like yes he is self absorbed, but it’s not intentional and he has room to grow! in the meantime, steve will be a good enough person for both of them😭
also bodyguard omega steve 🥵🥵🥵
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roundandroundthemulberry · 24 hours ago
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The S7 Dean and Cas stuff is so intense and heartbreaking.
Dean keeps being denied his chance to be angry with Cas, it's so sad. Dean is trying to hold in his anger as much as possible, but his outburst scene hurts to watch, it just slightly triggering, as is too Cas’s look of contrition.
From Dean's point of view, it was so frustrating that he keeps being denied his chance to feel angry at Cas and to forgive him on his own terms. And he wants to forgive him, he's struggling with it, it's obvious he cares about him still and wants to get to that point but he keeps having to skip over the part where he gets to be furious with him for his betrayal for a bit.
He's got to deal with a Castiel that makes him play the game Sorry instead of actually talking through an issue which is, for once, something that Dean desperately needs and seems to almost want to do.
Although I think that's exactly what Cas was trying to do, albeit in a way that didn't really work. Cas was trying to communicate with Dean in his own kinda messed up way, but it didn't work for Dean at all.
That follow-up scene between Dean and Kevin - part Dean helping Kevin; part Dean talking about his own pain over what happened with Cas. He’s upset about Cas, truly upset that his hopes of Cas being okay were dashed. He may not be able to forgive Cas, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand or that he’s stopped caring. He just doesn’t know how to fix it.
Where Dean can’t begin to forgive - not yet, Sam understands. Because at this point of the show, Dean hasn't made such a colossal mistake yet, as compared to Sam.
Because Sam made such very similar mistakes, for such very similar reasons. It's interesting to watch how different Sam and Cas' reactions are in a relatively similar situation. Sam had also done terrible things and full-on hubris but at his lowest, Sam as a human, can dig deep into the wealth of emotions that we humans gather for as long as we are alive, and those can shine a light and guide us in moving forward.
Whereas Cas, he is an angel, who just simply can't handle the guilt, who is practically new to the ebb and flow of emotions and feelings. For Cas, this is a very different sort of sensation than for Sam. Sam's human and he knows that humans fail and make mistakes. And in Cas's mind, he honestly pictured himself as this "good" thing, he is the good guy, the good angel. And now all of that is gone, destroyed, and by his own hand. He can't view himself as unqualifiedly "good" anymore. He now knows that he can make mistakes and that each choice he makes has consequences because he decides what's right and wrong, free will, and all that.
And that must be terrifying when his choices can bring upon the most horrible of consequences. So it's easy to see why Cas' initial impulse is to try to stay away from fighting and any kind of conflict. It is about protecting himself and maybe others from himself. Initially, I believed that something was “wrong” with Cas, but actually, he was exactly as he wanted to be.
After taking Sam’s burden, he was changed as a result of what he’d done in S6. As infuriating as it was for Dean to experience this version of Cas, I think that it was clear that Cas was drowning in guilt. He's been drastically changed by his attempt to atone by taking on Sam's pain. This was his way of overcompensating. Cas made no effort to assert authority over these angels from his former garrison whatsoever. He doesn’t seem interested in power at all, even if that power will help Dean and Sam. He doesn’t like conflict. This is from the angel who went toe to toe with both Lucifer and Raphael. He’s riddled with guilt for the lives he ended and destroyed on his quest to stop Raphael, for siding with Crowley, for hurting Sam. It’s still too much for him to face, especially in his vulnerable state. How long he’ll stay neutral?
He still cares about Dean, stepping in between and attracting Hester’s attention unto himself as she was getting over-exasperated with Cas by blaming and advancing onto Dean. So what happens when Dean is threatened during his next pursuit of the Leviathans? He gets in between Dick fucking Roman and Dean.
Cas with PTSD having a fixation on bees and gardens and making the perfect sandwich in late S7 somehow got absorbed into fanon to the point where people started to believe that’s canonical Cas. Bees Cas is a confused little meow meow who never did anything wrong. The things late S7 Cas fixates on are an amplification of his genuine fascination with life on earth, and one aspect of Cas is gentleness and appreciation, but those traits are not the whole picture, it’s what his brain uses as a buffer as he goes into shock and has a lengthy PTSD episode. PTSD Cas isn’t empathetic, he’s detached. He’s non-confrontational, non-violent, in that sense he is kind, but he’s not mentally or emotionally present for the people who need him most, who love him and who care, which isn’t empathy.
The arc gets used to mix fanon with canon, and the fanon version seeks a Cas who is an innocent meow meow who never did anything wrong ever (canon doesn’t do this. fanon does). Far too often that’s used to perpetuate the negative fanon of mean Dean, where Cas is his victim. The more innocent and soft and idealized the fanon on Cas becomes—and people believing that’s canon—the more that got weaponized to label Dean “the abuser” who is mean to ultra soft Cas who just wants to watch the bees.
Cas’s mental breakdown put him into a numb bubble, and that is the opposite of who Cas is. Cas feels too much all the time, and lacks context and experience to help him process all the feelings. Over time, we see him grow more comfortable in his own skin and with those emotions and expressing them in ways humans can comprehend instead of Cas just feeling and FEELING and trying to keep it locked down or running away from it.
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ray935sworld · 2 days ago
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Hello, hope you are doing well
I just read your child of divorce fic for the 100th time (i love it so so much) and i had a funny idea for the future, when the marc-cheating-allegations aren't new anymore and i'd love to hear your thoughts on this
So picture this: there is an interview or a podcast or whatever and some messy rider or journalist/interviewer/whatever is like "yeah maybe who knows, maybe rossi is self projecting with all the accusations of infidelity because HE is the one that cheated and tries to cover it up by throwing mud at his ex bc he can't handle the fact that the he ruined such a beautiful thing and that it is his fault alone, just like he can't handel the fact that 2015 was all his fault and needs a scapegoat that isn't him and Marc is too nice to ruin his reputation bc he still loves him?
Oh anon, my love! That was wonderful. I laughed so hard when I read this.
You definitely nailed it! (pls if you ever have another idea feel free to sent it!) That so happened!
I will definitely write a snippet about that (I'm hoping you're okay with that cause... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) but I can't 100% promise that it's going to be in the main story.
But it sounds very real. After a consolation with @calia23 we agreed that it was definitely Casey who dropped that. Our little Australian hater would NEVER accept Vale talking like that about his own kid. He is giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Like imagine Casey metaphorically slowly sitting down infront of a mic like "Okay... My fucking turn" and then he just spills that because why is cheating the first thing on Vale's mind? Rossi? Wanna tell us something?
And OOOOH the conspiracies that would follow - everyone is reviewing the 2015 materials to figure out who the possible mistress of rossi was (he denies it btw but nothing else was expected) and the rumors about David's possible real father resurface.
Now if we put this in 2017/18, David would be around 4-5 years old, so he'd be more conscious about what's happening. So imagine he's overhearing his grandparents or his uncles talking with his papa about that. He's hearing them say that his father (Vale) might betrayed his papa. But his papa is denying it all.
And he just doesn't know what to believe. He was told his father had listened to bad people who didn't had the best in mind for him and he fell for it. That's why he left. But he had always loved David. He was just currently being too stupid to see it. Like Marc had always been civil since he doesn't want David to grow up with resentment. But now they are suddenly openly talking about real betray?
A part of David's view definitely shatters. Like it's maybe the first time the golden view of his father really takes a blow. Of course he heard his grandparents curse Vale but Marc had always had a good explanation why they were wrong. And his papa always talks so lovingly about his father and sometimes even shows him pictures about their time. There is still a picture if Vale and Marc holding baby David on a shelf. But now there was no explanation for David. So he thinks there's no excuse, no explanation. He never asks. He's too afraid to get the confirmation from his papa that it's true.
The discussion about Vale were never done in secret too. Alex was more careful about his words but still... And now suddenly they are discussing the betray in silence? In secret? And in the Marquez house, there are no secret. So does that mean that there is some truth in the words? That's why David is kept away from it all and isn't supposed to know?
I can imagine David being very confused about his families behavior. Maybe he somehow hears about the accusation but he's too young to really understand them. He doesn't understand how deep the accusations actually run. He just understands that his father apparently broke his papa's trust in a horrible way.
And mind you, David is a child. He's taught to never lie and never hurt anyone. He is never allowed to break someone's trust, so he understands that this is bad.
Honestly I can't see Marc honestly believing the rumors. Like, at least at the till mid 2015/ Sepang 2015 they were a happy loving family, Vale very much involved and completly in love with Marc. So an affair seems too out of character. And Marc tries to be a good example for David (unlike Vale) so he doesn't want to participate in that mudd war Vale started.
Okay so those are just own quick thoughts on the matter. I hoped you like it and pls, anon - or literally anyone - what do you think?
And OMG I am so happy you like the AU so far that means SOOOOO much to me :)
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kuno-korner · 10 months ago
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aunmenosheteroenespanol · 8 months ago
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2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered
Tommy's family arc
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hypervoxel · 5 months ago
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Oh, so, like, the entire first season's establishment of the characters and their interactions don't actually matter in Helluva Boss. Okay, cool.
Like, I get that characterization develops over time and the writers come up with new ideas and places they want to take the story, but. So much of the Stolas/Blitzø stuff recently isn't character development: it's retconning.
#I'm just salty because i was heavily invested in the unhealthy dynamic as i interpreted it#instead of the unhealthy dynamic the show decided on.#uhhhh. yeah I'll throw this in the crit tag#helluva boss critical#I'm mostly just not invested in this show anymore. alas! but i do still very much enjoy the art and animation style#every time there's shiny glowy eyes i go 😍#anyway it does just take a tiny amount of editing to have this come across how i would very much enjoy#where Stolas is just. hypocritical#he wants love and a relationship so badly#and that's such an interesting characterization and I'm here for it!#if we also just. acknowledge the way he was SO obsessed with sex while Blitzø was awkward about it#like there is a lot of mention of that - Blitzø says he thought that's what Stolas wanted from him#and is confused about why things are changing!! (i love it so much)#but the show seems to take Stolas's side instead of allowing that 'yeah‚ he doesn't recognize how his internal emotions were never seen‚#because all Blitzø sees are Stolas's external actions - exactly the problem that Stolas is having with Blitzø not communicating!'#AND i still think there should be more emphasis on 'hey yeah it was really fucked up to manipulate Blitzø into sex like he did'#the crystal didn't magically fix it and they should have issues with Blitzø not understanding his worth to Stolas#because from his POV: Stolas really does only want him for sex‚ is paying him with access to the book and human realm‚#and has repeatedly sexualized him And seemed ashamed of it when other important people knew#(compared to how he acted towards Blitzø around other Imps) (which makes it seem like he doesn't care about what Imps think at all)#Stolas can be sad and his emotions are interesting but not when all of the fandom I'm seeing is taking his side#me at all times always: i think these characters/this ship should be worse!!!
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dailykugisaki · 29 days ago
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Day 347 | id in alt
Kugisaki hasn't been around Gojo enough to gaf about him LMAO.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#shoko ieri#okay rant time yall#i know some folkos might be mad that i make it seem like shoko is a wet fucking rag which she kinda is kinda isn't#shes clearly capable in her area although in a very she's using what she knows in a different way than shes used to#Shoko unfortunately was EXTREMELY dependent on Gojo's decisions and i hate gege for showing that#most of her actions included gojo in some degree which unfortunately made the decisions in which she needed to say things#she made those decisions based around what gojo would do#letting getos body go uncremated letting gojo killed geto himself ect ect#she didn't involve herself because gojo was gonna do it anyway and i think that mentally effected her bad#so turned herself into her work. somebody that deals with corpses becoming a single minded corpse herself. funny aint it#she has jokes but she isn't very used to having somebody focused on her for a decision she made#because Okkotsu didn't even fucking say a thing about her when his ass came back so i think it would be funny if Kugisaki kinda loathed her#like yes Shoko. your decisions effect others that arnt Gojo did you get jumpscared and then shoved back into reality? i hope you did#she dosent speak. words arnt really her thing where actions mostly are.#so shes trying to do things that help and thats funny because shes kinda ass at it#like helping burying somebody and like preparing for the worst after you fucked somebody over#shoko i see you#also girl why is the only version of self care you have ever done FLINGING YOUR FUCKING CIGARETTE AWAY#why is that your only version of self care and not getting over your damn alcoholism. weirdoooo#Kugisaki using herself as a frame of reference for bad shit. girl i see you LOL#hope that Shoko shit makes sense because she definitely does shit. she knows what she's doin#but before gojo died. well gojo was sort of like a fucked up version of a higher up for her idk#Shoko isn't a pushover. Kugisaki is just mad as hell.#shoko is an asshole that sucks at walking forward but she hurts while healing too so...girl what the fuck#she cant do much or anything with the kids except heal them in a way that dosent quite matter anymore
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meownotgood · 23 days ago
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i have so many thoughts about arcane but I'm so tired because it's 5 in the morning and I'm starving because i didn't eat and my brain is functioning at about 2% and all of my insides feel like mush.
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shirogane-oushirou · 1 month ago
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
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[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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aeolianblues · 3 months ago
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I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life
#like that's the point where we need to remind everyone around me that as much as I say#radio is 'a job'-- it's not 'my job' lol. I wish I was this interested in data science#but like. Honestly?? I'm not even a data scientist!? I answered a few questions about classical AI having come from a computer science back#background and now people are saying to me 'I know you're a data scientist and not a programmer' sir I am a computer scientist#what are you on about#and like I guess I get to google things and they're paying me so I'm not complaining but like I am not a data scientist#my biggest data scientist moment was when I asked 'do things in data science ever make sense???' and a bunch of data scientists went#'no :) Welcome to the club' ???????#why did I do a whole ass computer science degree then. Does anyone at all even want that anymore. Has everything in the realm of#computer science just been Solved. What of all the problems I learned and researched about. Which were cool. Are they just dead#Ugh the worst thing the AI hype has done rn is it has genuinely required everyone to pretend they're a data scientist#even MORE than before. I hate this#anyway; I wish I didn't hate it and I was curious and talked to many people in the field#like it's tragicomedy when every person I meet in music is like 'you've got to pursue this man you're a great interviewer blah blah blah'#and like I appreciate that this is coming from people who themselves have/are taking a chance on life#but. I kinda feel like my career does not exist anymore realistically so unless 1) commercial radio gets less shitty FAST#2) media companies that are laying off 50% of their staff miraculously stop or 3) Tom Power is suddenly feeling generous and wants#a completely unknown idiot to step into the biggest fucking culture show in the country (that I am in no way qualified for)#yeah there's very very little else. There's nothing else lol#Our country does not hype. They don't really care for who you are. f you make a decent connection with them musically they will come to you#Canada does not make heroes out of its talent. They will not be putting money into any of that. Greenlight in your dreams.#this is something I've been told (and seen) multiple times. We'll see it next week-- there are Olympic medallists returning to uni next wee#no one cares: the phrase is 'America makes celebrities out of their sportspeople'; we do not. Replace sportspeople with any public professi#Canada does not care for press about their musicians. The only reason NME sold here was because Anglophilia not because of music journalism#anyway; personal
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xanas-eye · 6 months ago
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Earth did nothing wrong.
That's it. That's the post.
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rapidhighway · 6 months ago
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Almost done with the 12th doctor
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melverie · 7 months ago
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Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again
#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but#i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries#and it just made me miss it so much#+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore#like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that#but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too#so i'm kind of at a loss here#tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up#i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right#i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries#that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way#aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that#also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while#like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that#but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut#ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there#do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me#and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here#that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this#longing feeling to start again lol#hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows
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rarilee33 · 1 year ago
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who else gets like sustained feelings of intense dislike towards characters/media that used to be your special interest at any point in the past
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