#Didn't expect it to be this lengthy!
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I'm still working on it, but it should be posted later this week!! 🫡
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#thank you very much for waiting patiently...#I just have the ending of the chapter to finish and then I will proofread!#it's about 15k words#I didn't expect this chapter to get so long.... oop#but based on my planning the next chapter will be just as lengthy haha#sorry for making you wait so long... but I appreciate your patience during this trying time.....#I'll continue to provide for the aki community.... love you
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I actually love buck's later seasons style so much 🥹 the hoodies but also the slacks in 7x1, the look he wore for his first date... he looks so comfy (though ofc I wouldn't say no to tight jeans or hello a shirtless scene, it's time)
oh so i'm NOT the only one!! thank you~
i feel like the trousers are usually a hit or miss, but i'm down with the jackets and the dress shirts tbh, i think they are cute... i do feel like we are leaning more into pattern than colour lately and those plain long sleeves he used to wear?? i miss those the most actually
(sure we still get them here and there, but once you'll see the rest of s3 and s4 put together, you'll know what i mean)
but also yes, you are very right, we are long overdue for a shirtless scene now 😮💨
#ngl even though i started that whole series i didn't expect to have lengthy conversations about Buck's fashion sense tonight agdvsg#i am having a great time with it though 🫶#evan buckley#911#911 abc#ask#anon
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oh hey you guys don't know i absolutely adore stephen graham jones and his books you guys should read them
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(Part 1) (Part 3)
In my previous post about how the writing failed Edelgard and the confusion of shifting her between protagonist and villain, I mentioned possibly doing a continuation relating her to Ashnard.
I've done this many times before, be it in posts or tags of posts, but I've never done it in a full blown analysis post. I decided to go through with it and detail exactly what the issues I find are, because as a villain, Ashnard succeeded with zero hiccups. Edelgard is literally identical to him in beliefs and motivations (right down to wanting Adrestia, his Daein, to rule the continent). However, the fandom ended up split on "is she really a villain or a misunderstood antagonist".
The idea of this pair of posts is to go over exactly how that happened, and why two characters who are exactly identical in their major motivations ended up not being seen by the fandom in the same way. That is to say, Ashnard is collectively understood to be the villain, so why isn't Edelgard?
This post also goes over their similarities and exactly what they are with context from Ashnard's lines, as well as others who interacted with Ashnard.
I also go further into other problems with Edelgard's writing and why it failed to truly decide on a path for her, muddying her writing and story and how some of it serves no purpose to her story or route (ex. her backstory). I also brought up contrasts between her route and those issues with all the other routes, as examples of how the other routes had clear goals/stories in mind that weren't shifted one way or another.
Since this unfortunately got insane levels of massive yet again, I'm cutting the entire thing up into a part one (the previous post), part two (this post) and part three (the next post that will cover a continuation of this post to make it more digestible because it would be too massive otherwise).
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To start, I break down the similarities nearly worded exactly the same between both characters:
Question the way in which society was designed
Birth station determines your life
Uses people of low birth to justify atrocious actions. That is, claiming people of low birth are suffering and should be able to rise by their own merits. In Edelgard's case, she uses this as a propoganda tool but never follows through with it (as per CF's ending cards and the many underlying implications, such as censorship, spying on her own people, keeping only her friends/allies in power, etc). In Ashnard's case, he just wants to watch strong people fight each other and take strong people into his service. However, he has two strong people fight to the death to determine who is stronger and takes the winner into his service.
Believes people should benefit from their strength (regardless of what that strength is/brings/leads to, such as TWS and the Death Knight being a mass murderer (this is not about Jeritza directly, we know what his problems are and why he does these things, but she allows for it and feeds into those things by giving him the reign of the battlefield that she does when Jeritza himself does not approve of all the killing he's done) and the Black Knight being used to eliminate all of Ashnard's obstacles that he personally does not want to waste time on or at the time cannot).
Uses strength to "remake" society. In Edelgard's case, she's using force and strength of arms to force Fodlan under one banner (something her immediate family has been doing since Faerghus first split from Adrestia). She uses her strength to rule with an iron fist and obliterate any and all opposition (which she openly admits to). In Ashnard's case, he explicitly states he believes the strong should rule the weak and wants the strong in his service, so he allows people of all status to step up to prove themselves.
Class and rank won't matter (in Edelgard's case this is a lie used to subdue doubt and not something she follows through with. Again, the ending cards. In Ashnard's case he does mean what he says).
The strong are the ones in power. A G A I N, CF's ending cards.
The weak are stuck weak because they are weak. They get no help from Ashnard/Edelgard because they are weak. In Edelgard's case, she wholeheartedly believes the weak are weak by fault of their own and that it is their own fault if they are dependent on others. In Ashnard's case, he believes the weak are weak and deserved to be ruled over because that is the natural order of the world (bitch rly said natural selection lmao).
Ashnard explicitly states he believes the weak cling to the strong, which is exactly what Edelgard believes and she expresses this to Dimitri in AM.
Similarly to how Edelgard and Dimitri end their conversation with the understanding that they will never agree on their subject, Ashnard promptly ends his conversation with Reyson because he understands that they will never agree.
Similarly to how people will not bend to Edelgard's vision because it would negatively affect their life, Reyson refuses to accept Ashnard's vision because he, as a physically weak and frail person, does not have the strength to thrive in Ashnard's ideal world. Reyson is an example of someone who would suffer in Edelgard's ideal world, because he is physically weak and has to rely on Tibarn and previously Naesala to survive. In Edelgard's world, the herons would be useless strength-wise and thus never deserve to rise to the top. They would be bottom of the barrel and by ruled over by people stronger than them.
Since Reyson refuses to accept Ashnard's ideal world, Ashnard's response is that he plans to kill him - exactly what Edelgard does to anyone who stands against her or doesn't want to live in her ideal world.
The only MAJOR difference is that Ashnard doesn't care if beorc or laguz are involved in this world of his. Edelgard wants to eliminate all Nabateans (and she admits as much herself).
This is what I mean when I say... Edelgard is literally the same character as Ashnard. The reason she's not deemed "the villain" by many is because of her affiliation with Byleth, the protagonist. Even on her own route, she is fulfilling the villain role... but because of Byleth's presence, the game gears toward forcing a romance for her, and people generally don't like to see a romantic interest for the protagonist as the villain.
Yes, villains can still have human emotions and fall in love. However yes, due to people not wanting to see romance in a villainous character, people don't perceive her as a villain. Without Byleth, CF is still the villain route.
Interestingly, in Hopes, Edelgard is much more open about her actions and her iron rule mindset. She is also much more open to accepting the truth of her actions and how bad they actually are. She doesn't care though, because those actions will lead to her vision of Fodlan.
I don't hate Byleth at all, but Byleth's existence in CF is a detraction to the writing in the sense of Edelgard as the story's central villain (with the background villains being TWS and assorted others earlier in the game). It's the use of romance and trying to make Edelgard woobified, thus making players feel bad for her and many people never expressing that her trauma does not excuse her from inflicting all this suffering on innocent people, or that invading other countries that did nothing to you or yours is not okay.
Ashnard is ridiculed and despised for doing exactly these same things (invasion, etc), but he doesn't have a player romance to help him save face in the fandom from being what he is - a villain.
No responsibility is ever taken for her actions (any indication that she has done so is lip service from her, as we are never shown that she has done so and we never hear from a single other person that she has done so). This is because she fully believes in her actions, thus sees no reason to be held responsible for "mistakes" when she does not view them as such.
By contrast:
Dimitri doesn't use his trauma as an excuse for his actions... even though his trauma is the direct source and reason for his actions. Again though, he doesn't use that as an excuse to justify it or say it's okay.
Claude doesn't use his trauma as an excuse to say it's okay that he sometimes hurts people emotionally because he pushes them too far with trying to learn about Fodlan so he can bring it emotionally closer to his birthland. Both of them take responsibility for their faults even though they do have trauma as a reason for it and could reasonably use that as an excuse with an apology.
Rhea on the other hand does do some sketchy things and acknowledges that, but she takes responsibility for it in all routes bar CF where she is in the middle of war (i.e. in fight mode, versus all other routes not being directly in the war and thus having time to talk with people and discuss things). In AM, she does step down and go into isolation, no longer involving herself with humanity. SS and VW are more direct with her taking responsibility.
These characters have that in difference with Edelgard, the dev proclaimed villain, because they do not forgive their actions as "it had to be done for the greater good" because they know when they were wrong. Rhea blurs the line there with the whole greater good situation, but she ultimately does it in response to her trauma from her kin being victims of genocide - something Edelgard is notably resuming but which is swept under the rug to make her less horrendous - which is, again, a failure in writing of her character because romancing her is prioritized over her having independence from Byleth/romance and being able to pursue her path freely with her own beliefs. Instead, she makes excuse after excuse for why she's in the right instead of just, like Ashnard, acknowledging that that is just what she wants because it's what she believes in).
I direct you to the Lonato chapter and the fact that Dimitri will literally snap at Byleth and literally call them insane for suggesting that it (killing) had to be done, desperately insisting there must have been another way that did not involve taking those people's lives (mirrored when he has the option, as king, to take a life for being involved in the Tragedy of Duscur, but chooses not to do so and instead reflects on that man's meaning of justice instead of deciding that because they don't see things the same way that the man must die.
However, the thing is, her trauma is only there in the story to further woobify her to make her more appealing as a romance option. Her trauma plays no part in the grand scheme of her goals, and she in fact is working closely with the people who inflicted that trauma on her. It isn't like, for example, AM where Dimitri's trauma is the central cause of his personal growth as a character.
Byleth is also not the central driving force for Dimitri recovering as part of his character arc; it was Rodrigue - the only singular person Dimitri would listen to and take a scolding from and eventually give in and even refer to as "friend", something he does not do to any other singular person before his recovery begins (he in fact pushes Byleth and everyone else away, with his only semblance of sanity left coming to the surface thanks to Rodrigue's presence). Byleth helps in his recovery, but Byleth could not have ever done that without Rodrigue's words to Dimitri. Byleth was sort of an extension to the situation, but it was never Byleth who initiated the events that led to Dimitri's growth. Byleth was heavily ridiculed and ignored by Dimitri prior, so before anyone tries to say Dimitri is woobified for romancing, no, he's not. That's part of his character arc, and it was also not Byleth who initiated that phase of his arc. Byleth was part of it and helped in it, but another major character in Dimitri's life was used to enter that arc phase.
Contrast to CF Edelgard being dependent on Byleth and unable to properly wage war without their presence for five entire years - something that is not the case for Edelgard in any other route, thus making her that much more inconsistent between her own route and the others to make her own romanceable on her own route.
Now, why is this a problem? Because on all other routes, the main characters have motivations and goals that Byleth's existence will not deter.
Claude isn't going to stop trying to make friends between Almyra and Fodlan whether Byleth is there or not.
Seteth is not going to stop looking for Rhea and fighting against the Empire whether Byleth is there or not (and they were in fact actively doing that even before they knew Byleth was still alive, just searching for Byleth on the side in case they were actually still alive).
Dimitri would have fought Edelgard whether Byleth was there or not (which he does in all other routes, but Rodrigue isn't able to properly help him in non-AM routes because the other routes needed to get Dimitri out of the picture to shift focus to the route's main character and the current villain (I say current because TWS gets involved after her death in VW/SS). If Dimitri survived those routes, he would have to be more involved in the story or players would be asking where he is/why he isn't involved. In AM, Claude is excused from the story and we understand he returned to Almyra. In CF, Claude is excused from the story after either dying to Edelgard's army or returning to Almyra. In SS, he's excused from the story as having "disappeared", but the general fandom consensus is that he returned to Almyra (so he in other words, he had somewhere to go outside of the setting of the central conflict, thus could survive all routes). Dimitri didn't have that, so he had to be removed from the story somehow. Still though, he does target Edelgard in all routes.
So again, why is this a problem? Well... all the other lead characters have agency without Byleth on all routes, including outside of their own. Their goals are not halted by anything except death and will continue seeking their goals on routes that are not their own. Byleth does not need to be there for their story to be the same story, even if it ends differently (Byleth is the player proxy to experience each route's story, thus if not present in a specific character's life, will not change their motivations. The end result will of course change, but their attitude toward their goals does not change).
However, Edelgard is very specifically still the villain and viewed as such in all routes except CF. You might think, well of course, since that's her own route... but why couldn't they commit to making the villain still the villain on her route? Why did they go out of their way to lessen the impact of her actions/motivations/beliefs? Why didn't they, in writing, make it very clear that you sided with the villain and thus are also a villain in CF? Why is it that Ashnard has almost identical lines about his motivations to hers, but she isn't viewed as the villain in her route but instead as the hero?
Again - it's the romance option. It's the very unfortunate idea that they wanted to woobify the only female lead to make her more paletteable for the player. Dimitri, again, has a backstory and central arc revolving around his suffering and is the focus of his route, but Edelgard is given a sad backstory that... the story doesn't come back to. That the story doesn't utilize to make her have a redemption arc. That the story only uses... to make you feel bad for her.
It's unfortunate because the only female lead couldn't be solid on her own in her own route. She becomes so sad and lonely without Byleth, and the characters even tease her about it during the timeskip reunion (mind you, in no other route is this an issue and she continues fighting her war very well. She's actually wnning without Byleth in all other routes and is evidently (supposedly?) in love with Byleth on all routes, but still manages to do just fine without them on all routes... except her own).
Edelgard has random cutesy aspects like painting Byleth and being embarrassed about it. She likes to drown herself in sweets and be a girl. These are tactics used by the writers to make her cuter and whatnot... but then, why are those aspects not used in the other routes? Why do the other characters manage their stories and arcs just fine without needing extra cute fluff? They can be married by the player character, but they don't utilize unnecessary and random fluff that doesn't fit in with the vibe of the route.
Then you look back and see, well, they toned down the female only on the route you can marry her. They didn't let her be the character she was amped up to be. They had to tone her down and make her more appealing to players... but they... didn't do this with any of the guys.
Regardless on your stance regarding potential sexism in the writing thusly, it just is fact that this is what happened and this is how the stories were handled. They could have made her a full blown villain of all the main characters, and if you joined them you were now also the villain. But... no, because they wanted a cute girl.
Unfortunately, it really shows when Ashnard is a man and is able to be his own character freely with no obstacles in his writing.
Whether you feel it's sexist or not, the fact is, the romance aspect was a lot more pushed in the player's face in CF. AM looks like it's doing something similar at first, but that illusion is gone when seeing Dimitri in the timeskip and he no longer gushes over Byleth and is no longer polite and friendly. When he does regain his gentleness, a lot (if not all?) of his seemingly flirty and funny aspects aren't used. He's a lot more formal and rational, and he's not reduced to a player's marriage object. They toyed with it, essentially, before the Remire chapter, when Dimtiri's mental health was degrading. Once we got to see the real depths of his character arc in part one, all of that fun, cute, silly stuff was gone, and it didn't return.
Edelgard though? Wasn't written that way, literally having romance be a plot device for her only in her own route where you can marry her. She was changed specifically for her route. The other lead characters (Dimitri, Claude, Seteth and technically Rhea)? All the same across all routes.
Even Rhea's switch flip in CF is still Rhea. It's her when she's pushed to the brink, being fought by the person who has Sothis within them and who possibly was even involved in killing the last of her kin. It's her when she's backed into a corner, but it's still her.
If Dedue survives/isn't transformed in CF, Dimitri's death shows that he's still the same person/has the same motivations and feelings that he has in all other routes when he's not at his lowest point (and when he is at his lowest point in each route, he's written consistently in that state in each one).
Claude will still defend Leicester at all cost in every route, even if it kills him (he can die in AM, but you get game over. But the fact remains that he will stay and fight instead of escaping to safety when he's about to die - something he tells Hilda to do. The only time he leaves is when he's spared in CF after being defeated. In that situation, he still risked death and didn't back down from the battle).
Next part will be in the next post because this is already long and the two posts as one was just... too long lol.
#DCB Comments#All the parts will be linked together! I didn't expect it to get this long when I thought about writing it#I decided since I regular compare Ashnard and Edelgard that I'd make a more lengthy about it with some comparisons#I didn't expect it to get this long though LOL. I didn't use as many examples as I wanted either#I mean really I could go through all of PoR to get examples but I just picked the ones that stood out the most#Edelgard Critical#DCB Three Houses Stuff
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im never getting involved with a straight guy ever again
#sitting in my bed rewinding moments of the past years as one does#and i noticed a common trend with most of the dates ive been on since i came out#which is. cishet guys respecting my pronouns until they realize i won't let them fuck me#like legit happened at least 3 times in a few years. i didn't really make the connection until now lmao#but yea i think the one that hurt the most was him misgendering me in a bubble tea store#on our second date. and like the first one we literally had a LENGTHY conversation abt gender#he seemed genuinely curious and invested and yet 💀#idk why i expected smth else PFRR shoots them dead
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I see posts go by periodically about how modern audiences are impatient or unwilling to trust the creator. And I agree that that's true. What the posts almost never mention, though, is that this didn't happen in a vacuum. Audiences have had their patience and trust beaten out of them by the popular media of the past few decades.
J J Abrams is famous for making stories that raise questions he never figures out how to answer. He's also the guy with some weird story about a present he never opened and how that's better than presents you open--failing to see that there's a difference between choosing not to open a present and being forbidden from opening one.
You've got lengthy media franchises where installments undo character development or satisfying resolutions from previous installments. Worse, there are media franchises with "trilogies" that are weird slap fights between the makers of each installment.
You've got wildly popular TV shows that end so poorly and unsatisfyingly that no one speaks of them again.
On top of that, a lot of the media actively punishes people for engaging thoughtfully with it. Creators panic and change their stories if the audience properly reacts to foreshadowing. Emotional parts of storytelling are trampled by jokes. Shocking the audience has become the go to, rather than providing a solid story.
Of course audiences have gotten cynical and untrusting! Of course they're unwilling to form their own expectations of what's coming! Of course they make the worst assumptions based on what's in front of them! The media they've been consuming has trained them well.
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playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there
#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think#nyarla dni#(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only)#listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is#his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b#wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha#she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives#in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh#GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK.#it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT.#and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters#anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed#he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him#hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry#dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired)#anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed#(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he#insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex#half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he#needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw#her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh#was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY#look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean.#but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i#you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never#let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH#and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her#and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM#look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it#was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave
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simon riley with a breeding kink, a man who usually avoided any thought of children found himself grasping to the fleeting thoughts of seeing you swollen with his babies, filled up constantly until it will take, until simon would have a family of his own.
there was no point in fighting these thoughts, because no matter how hard simon tried to convince himself that this was just a fleeting urge, his dark gaze became hungrier, and his touches against your body, sliding along your soft stomach, became more and more obvious even to you.
so you both gave it a go, a little try, but you didn't expect it to end with your supple body splayed and bent over any surface you had in your home, with simon's meaty cock stuffing your tight glossy pussy, making your tummy ache from how full you are, thick potent cum leaking out of you and down his length.
he fucks you almost animalistically, huffs against your neck about — “what' a pretty mama yau're going to be„ with his lengthy cock plunging in and out of your squelching heat, his white cum oozing out with every thrust back in your cunt, before stuffing your hole full back again, hot breath teasing your neck alongside chocked growls.
simon works his broad hips faster, letting his muscles tense as his calloused hands grope at your body, stroking across your soft breasts and imagining them leaking with sweet milk, before moving towards your tummy, already bulging with the outline of his cock, ramming in and out of you shallowly.
you hardly present at all, gasping incoherent mewls in the thick air with your head lolled aside, simon's lips brushing against your shoulder with growls and huffs, as his hands grasp at your legs to lift them upwards, resting the limp limbs against his shoulders, letting you know that's all of this is far from over.
✎ 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵. 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴.
#.𐙚july's writings#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley x f!reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon riley fluff#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley comfort#simon riley x female reader#simon ghost riley fluff#simon riley comfort#simon riley x you#simon ghost smut#simon ghost riley#ghost x f!reader#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#ghost x female reader#ghost x reader#ghost cod#ghost x you#simon riley drabble#domestic!simon#domestic!ghost#simon ghost riley drabble#ghost thoughts#simon ghost riley headcanons#simon riley headcanons
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........where's karlach
#bg3#my game thought she was still in jail apparently lmao#bc i didn't break her out the right way#that lengthy loading screen lmao i don't know what i expected but it was not what i got
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𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐎 .ೃ࿐
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𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: after a long awaited summer break, you were expecting to have a good sleep in with carlos, but his plans for you are slightly different. or in which you convince carlos' to turn his morning cardio into something a little more fun.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ (minor dni), unprotected sex (if you're gonna slip, slop, slap, you must wrap your willy!), few untranslated spanish words, p in v, teasing, oral sex, kinda fluffy, poor humour, breastplay, dryhumping (bc i am nothing without this), fingering, cumming inside, bit of overstimulation for the reader, i love you's.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: bf!carlos sainz x fem!reader
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 2k+
𝐀/𝐍: while this wasn't what i initially was working on, i've momentarily gotten some free time amongst the chaos, you deserve some work, and carlos has been looking pretty delectable 🤭 // poorly proof-read sorry ♡︎
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
⋆ •°. 。 .°• ⋆
You weren't a fan of working out. Never had been and was never going to be.
It wasn't that you didn't see the point of it. You were well versed in the science: it was good for you. It helped your body, soothed you mentally, and overall, kept you in a pretty good mood if you kept the right balance.
Your problem lied within the methods.
Take your dear boyfriend, for example.
Carlos loved working out. You weren't sure whether it was because he was an F1 driver or whether it was just Carlos himself. But he spent almost every living moment off the tracks with some form of physical activity.
You had memorised his routine quite well: a lengthy morning run, training with his personal trainer, his beloved choices of golf or paddle, followed by the occasional swimming or God forbid, another run.
Carlos tried to get you 'hooked' on to it all, claiming it's better to workout with someone as opposed being by yourself. But his efforts were to no avail.
You had important things to do... like catching up on your beauty sleep.
"Mi amor," The rasp of Carlos' voice lingered through the early morning air, cold hands trailing over your back. He pressed his lips at the silent response, watching you not a budge even a centimetre in your sleep.
A sigh escaped his mouth as he pressed his knees onto the edge of your bed, bending down to push your hair behind your ears. "Cariño," He called softly, making you hum in response.
"Carlos," you mumbled with sleep heavy in your voice. "You better not ask–"
"Come on a run with me," Carlos pleaded.
You forced an eye open, wincing at the immediate white light surrounding you. Blinking rapidly, you honed in on the Spaniard who was already dressed for his venture, batting his brown puppy eyes towards you.
"Handsome, you know I love you very much," you cooed, pressing your head further into the warmth of your pillow, "But I'd rather watch Lewis go to Ferrari."
An abrupt slice of cold air trickled past your bare skin and thin clothes. You yelped, covering your body, immediately missing the comforting heat of your duvet. "Carlos!" You scolded, much more awake now.
Carlos gave you a sickly sweet smile. "Say unwarranted things, get unwarranted things," He shrugged nonchalantly before grabbing your ankle to drag you off the mattress.
"No, no, no, no," you groaned, squirming in his grip. Pouting your lips, you quickly reached over to grab Carlos' hand. "Please," you whined.
"My sweet girl," Carlos started, "I just want you to join me. I promise you it'll be good. It's fun morning cardio!"
You grimaced at the chirpy tone he had taken on. 'Fun morning cardio'... how insufferable.
Feeling Carlos loosen his grip, you yanked your ankle back and got on your knees, sinking down on the soft mattress. "Carlos," You murmured, hands travelling up his arms as you leaned in.
Carlos narrowed his eyes, quickly knowing you were up to something with that sweet tone of yours.
"Baby, name the better cardio. A morning run or..." You trailed off, hand travelling down his arm and past his thigh, resting dangerously close to his crotch. "... morning fun?"
Carlos let out a dramatic sigh but he couldn't keep the quirk of his lips at bay. He stretched out his thick arm, grabbing you by the waist. His skin swarmed with heat as he felt your bare waist under your shirt as he fully pulled you over him. A quick nudge to your knees left you straddling him.
"More energy burnt," you murmured in the venture of a fake persuasion even though you already had the answer. Carlos' hand reached out to push your hair behind your ears before landing on the soft pillows of your lips. Nervously you inhaled, "And a whole lot more pleasure."
You stared at Carlos. Taking in those puppy brown eyes, the warmth of his skin, those God-made eyelashes, and each little freckle mixed with the burden of racing on his face. It was the first day of summer break and even though Carlos was pulling you out of bed to work out in the morning, you couldn't help but be a little thankful. You missed him. You had both been so busy lately and it felt like you hadn't seen each other in months.
"What's on your mind, cariño?" Carlos whispered, thumb still trailing the shape of your lips as those very same brown eyes searched yours.
"Nothing. I just missed you. And your stupid morning cardio," You rolled your eyes. "Is that a crime?"
"Then I'm guilty as charged," Carlos confessed, not missing the softening of your eyes as he held you tighter against him. "All I've been thinking about since the race at home is coming back to you."
Carlos' home race in Spain was the last time you had met before long-distance had embedded it's nasty claws into you once again
"Yeah?" You whispered, pressing a brief kiss to his cheek. "Anything in particular?"
Carlos took a deep breath in, your signature fragrance engulfing him. Goodness, were you intoxicating. "Well... there was picnics, breakfast, golf, and the beach on the agenda. And... morning fun."
A gasp left your mouth as Carlos fell back first onto the mattress, bringing his lips to yours.
This kiss was different from the others you had shared. Perhaps it was the atmosphere or context that accounted for that difference but the need, the love, the softness, and the brutal passion was suddenly pouring into every fibre of your being.
Your hands fell around his neck and hair, nose gliding near his as Carlos continued to ravage your mouth. He sucked on your lips with a small nibble here and there, relishing the muffled moans escaping your lips. His own hands continued to travel the path of your body he had committed to memory. He knew as he traversed your burning skin exactly where the small freckles and bumps he had come to love were.
Your soft moans became more audible and pleasing to Carlos' ears as he moved his lips to your neck, leaving the sloppily yet controlled kisses down base of your skin.
You gasped as you felt a sudden jerk underneath you, feeding into the pooling wetness between your thighs. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, your hips automatically responded by grinding down onto Carlos' bulge.
"Ah, mierda," Carlos cursed, feeling his cock throb in his shorts. His eyes fluttered shut, hands returning to your hips to continue the stimulating pleasure.
Both of your skin was covered in a thin sheen of sweat as you felt Carlos' clothed cock rut into your poorly covered pussy. You rocked your hips harder into him, feeling a slight jolt against your clit. "Oh, fuck, Carlos," you moaned his name in his ear.
God, what were you two? Sex-crazed teenagers? Dry humping on each other like rabbits in heat.
"Hermosa," Carlos panted, eyebrows strained with the urge to cum yet give you all the pleasure he could. "I need... I need..." he breathed, "I need to be in you, fuck." His entire body shuddered with a sharp arousal while his cock could feeling your thin underwear becoming useless and drenched. It was as thin as his patience was wearing.
You made a poor attempt to nod, releasing a hand from his neck. You briefly lifted your hips, pushing your panties to the side. In doing so, your breath hitches as you feel your sensitive folds glide past your fingers.
"Oh, fuck," Carlos blubbered, losing himself in seeing your bare pussy and your reaction. "Fuck yourself on those pretty little fingers for me, baby. I need you ready for me," He encouraged breathlessly, attempting to shove off his shorts with one hand.
Carlos watched in torture as you pushed your fingers into your warm walls, body jerking forward at the sheer pleasure. "That's it, baby," he continued to praise you, "Doing so well for me, hmm?" He asked, moving one hand down your hips, skimming past your burning thigh before reaching the small bundle of nerves situated near your hand.
"A little faster, baby," Carlos said, "You're already so fucking wet. Pump those fingers... let me see how much you missed me."
You were already moaning in a haze at the praises leaving his lips, pushing your fingers in faster, unable to see how your engorged folds took them in as your eyes focused on the ceiling. But the moment you felt the pad of Carlos' thumb on your clit, you had given up every ounce of respect you had for yourself.
"Oh, shit, oh shit," you cursed, hips bucking up at his action. Your eyes shut tightly. The white light of ecstasy felt close. Your hand sped up faster, your hips went against your fingers and his thump with a more brutal force, feeling his aching cock bounce under you... Christ, you were going to cum. And hard.
The light... so close...
And just like that, it was gone.
You snapped your eyes open, falling to your pussy to see Carlos' hand retreating. "Mierda... no, baby, Carlos, " you cursed without looking at his face. But the moment you did, you understood him.
His hooded eyes told you everything. The throbbing his aching cock was bringing him, his slurred state of mind, and his firm desire to make you cum on his cock.
You kept your eyes on him, savouring the hiss falling from his lips as your took his cock out of his underwear. You gave a small smile, guiding his angry member to your puffy folds. You both released hitched moans when you rubbed your pussy against his cock.
You watched as Carlos purposely lifted his hips, pushing the tip of his cock against your clit, making your body convulse for a brief second. Fucking hell. That was enough for the both of you. Cumming just by rubbing yourselves on each other was equally as worse as cumming by dry humping each other.
You pressed your lips together, pushing his cock slowly into your pussy. Christ, he was always so big. Thick and pulsing in your hands, stretching your pussy out no matter how many times you made love as if it were the first time.
Carlos groaned, both hands firmly placed on your hips, head falling back onto the bed headboard. God, it had been so long. He missed your touch everyday. But the feeling of his cock in your pussy... he thought about it every second of every day.
You pushed your hips down flat, ensuring Carlos bottomed out. You groaned at the full feeling of his cock in you, eyeing the small bulge in your stomach. "Fuck, you fill me up so well, baby," you praised.
Carlos moaned in response. "Ride me baby. You know I like when you ride me."
You managed a smile, taking off the singlet you had slept in. The self control Carlos had for your breasts was little. Especially, when they bounced in front of him like they were right now. His hands almost immediately shot out, groping the soft mounds with all his might.
Immersed in your tits, his body trembled when you rose your hips and slammed down on his cock, repeating the movement again. "Ah, shit," Carlos cussed, drunk on your pussy.
You ground your hips forward as you rode his cock, stimulating the pure pleasure of grinding on one another. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see Carlos' hand reach towards your clit. Your eyes shut, bracing yourself for what's about to come.
Carlos intently watched you, rubbing your clit in soft circles. He could see you slowly fall apart, the fast rhythm of your hips slowing down and becoming sporadic. Your body was shaking with pleasure, your hands reaching towards his thick biceps.
He continued your work for you, lifting your hips with his one hand on your waist. He grunted, feeling you clench around his cock. "Cum... cum for me," he beckoned, increasing the speed of his cock and the pressure of his thumb on your clit.
He smiled at the complete lost look that had fallen on your face. Your body jerked and convulsed over him, your brain unable to control it any longer. Your climax hit you hard as he denied your previous one not too long ago. Your whine was high pitched and dazed. You were completely lost in pleasure.
Your pleasure only fuelled his own. Your walls were holding his cock like a vice, clamping down on him. You could feel his throbbing cock overstimulating your sensitive pussy.
Carlos groaned at the feel of his twitching cock in your walls. He panted, hips racing to chase the urge to cum. "Yes, yes, yes," he mumbled, falling victim to your praises falling from your soft lips and the clench of your pussy.
You both groaned when you felt the hot ropes of his cum spill into your walls. HIs hips stuttered, faltering against yours as you took every last drop from his cock.
Carlos buried his chin into your neck, riding out his last few moments of his climax. "Fuck," he mumbled, letting out a small exhale as he moved his head back and looked at you. He laughed softly at your tired look. He placed a few lingering kisses across your neck, coming to your lips last. "I love you," he murmured against them.
You smiled gently. "Forever?" you asked.
"Forever," Carlos confirmed, placing a kiss on your forehead. Slowly, he removed his softening cock from your pussy. You both watched his cum mixed with your spill out of you.
You looked up at Carlos, eyeing the dark look on his face. You sighed. "Morning fun or not, give me at least ten minutes. If not thirty!"
Carlos chuckled, moving out from under you and standing in front of you in an unbecoming state that would make his closest friends laugh at him. He swooped you into his arms making you yelp. "Let's take a shower. I'll clean you."
You raised a brow, hands hung around his neck. "Just cleaning? That doesn't sound like you," you retorted.
Carlos smirked, walking you to the bathroom. "You're right. I'll clean you, fuck you, and clean you again."
Oh…
© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑
#mickyschumacher#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#formula 1#f1 smut#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz smut#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz
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OCTOBER 6TH — ELDRITCH!KÖNIG. Never in a million years would you expect to be held hostage by an intimidating monster, desperate to breed with a human like you.
2024 KINKTOBER MASTERLIST. (DAY 6) 🐙
(MONSTER-FUCKING, NON-CON, BREEDING)
You're valuable treasure to König. Lost at sea, left vulnerable surrounded by a group of haunting, hungry, and insatiable monsters that would do anything to own you. To them, humans are a fictional, fantasy creature, nothing more of the imagination. They had been dreaming of this, fantasising about owning something as rare and unique as you.
As König was the first to discover you, he claimed full ownership over you. His lengthy fingers wandered your shaking, limp, and barely conscious figure curiously as he hunched over your much smaller form, eagerly poking at you with curiosity and concern visible on his face. He chuckled at the fearful and horrified reactions you had, how you helplessly squirmed beneath him, your scratches barely having an effect on him. You were entertaining, a little toy simply for his enjoyment.
Your clothing stuck to your damp skin, as well as your hair did to your scratched face. You were delirious, feeling as if this was a lucid dream rather than your reality. The sight before you was horrifying, with thick and dripping tentacles coming from around the creature, slowly traveling over your supple skin. Your surroundings were unfamiliar and distant, nausea and confusion leaving you disoriented. When you attempted to flee, you'd stumble drunkenly, surrounded by a large body of water that you truly had no chance of surviving in.
He'd try to feed you the graphic and gory remains of old sailors that he'd purposely drowned, frowning at your visible disgust. You resented König. You despised the feeling of a shackle around your ankle, how you were held captive on this island only for his own sick and perverted enjoyment. But, you didn't have much of a choice after all. Your previous and failed attempts had resulted in stricter rules and boundaries, restricting you further of your freedom.
König had dreamt of mating with you. Disturbing creatures like himself already had their partners, and the curiosity inside of him was too much for him to ignore. His fingertips tugged at your thighs, prying them apart, slobbering all over you through desperation and depravity. His tentacles wrapped themselves around your ankles and biceps, with one slowly pushing down your tight throat to silence the aggravating whines that slipped from your lips. His grip was agonisingly firm, almost as if he was slowly cracking your bones, only intensifying when you wiggled and fought. You couldn't help but sob out as he slowly prepared you, dragging his slick and dripping tentacles across your slit, coating you in his murky and strange fluids. You whimpered, the dreadful sound of your weeping only antagonising König.
He could help himself, he was beyond desperate to relieve himself inside of you, fill you up with his beautiful offspring, hoping for you to mother and care for his children. He was unusually cruel, a frightening contrast to his gentle and sweet actions, how he coddled you and held you close every night, soothing you with his calm and loving humming. Now, he was practically tearing you in half, grumbling out incoherently as he rocked his broad, large hips back and forth. You choked on the tip of his growing tentacle, your folds wrapped tightly around his veiny shaft.
Oh, the other creatures would be so envious and jealous of König. You'll become the perfect breeding mate and mother, just wait, Mäuschen.
#orla speaks#cod x reader#könig call of duty#konig x reader#call of duty modern warfare#könig#könig x reader#könig cod#cod mw2#konig call of duty
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Would you ever do like mob and Simon’s first date night together or something like that ( love your writing )
mail-order bride (18+)
the wine sits idle in the middle of the table. simon leans back against his chair, sighing deeply as he runs a big palm over his lower stomach, all pudgy and full from the meal you had placed on the table.
you had surprised him. candles on the table, his favorite red wine decanted into a crisp glass, beef short ribs falling apart over a plate of mashed potatoes. he had no time to scold you for cooking because you had been finished by the time he stepped through the door.
immaculate, sweet girl. the first bite of the food had him sucking on his teeth, biting back a moan. such a good meal, perfection in a pot, with creamy potatoes that had him licking the prongs of the fork as he watched you from across the table, eyes glazed over with love for feeding him better than he ever had been in his whole life. he had seconds, thirds, pawing at your skirt when you asked if he wanted more, his tongue sliding over the knife that he didn't even need to get any piece of sauce off the plate.
and then dessert. perfect little chocolate cakes in pretty little tins, with a cracked top. and when he broke the surface with his spoon, it was flooded with hot ganache, a gooey molten lava cake that he gave you heart eyes for as he ate it up with dramatic slurps.
fuck, he cannot stop looking at you. maybe you put poison in the food because you've never looked more beautiful than you do right now. you're sitting there, hair off your face, spoon in your mouth as you lick off the warm chocolate from it. that pretty pink tongue sliding over the edge of it, gathering that sweet center and swallowing, the bob of your throat making his breath catch as he follows it all the way to the low neckline of your dress. that sweetheart neckline makes your tits look so perky, so bouncy, and he can tell you aren't wearing a bra because he can see your nipples between the polka dot pattern.
"come 'ere," simon says lowly, dropping the spoon with a defiant clatter onto his plate. you smile, standing from your seat, and you bounce over to where he's sitting. simon sits you down on the table in front of him, shoving his plate far back to give you room. he picks up his glass of wine and chugs it practically, licking the last drop before setting down the glass and flipping you over with practiced ease.
you gasp as your hips hit the wood. you bend, barely having enough time to catch yourself with your hands before you hear his chair scrape against the floor. you can feel his size as he stands up and towers over you, and your toes curl when you hear the buckle of his belt.
"w-what--"
"'m not gonna fuck ya, baby," simon sighs, smoothing his hands up the back of your thighs before flipping your skirt up. he snorts when he sees you're wearing polka dot panties to match your little dress, and you squeak when he grips the flimsy fabric with one big hand and shreds it with ease, tossing it aside. "first time 's gonna be so nice, i promise..." he clicks his tongue, "but fuck, ya gotta let me, luvvie..."
"please," you gasp, sliding back a little, pressing your ass against the front of his jeans. you can feel the open zipper scratch against your cunt, and he sighs shakily. you hear the rustle of fabric, and you sob with relief when you feel the warmth of his cock slap against your ass. "oh, god--simon!"
"i know, luv," he groans, "i know...not ready for it, not yet..." he licks his lips, sliding your dress up further, exposing your lower back and the sweat that's gathered there. he grips himself at the base, swiping over his wet tip before using it to give himself a languid stroke. at the first sound of a squelch, you whine, and he squeezes your hip gently. "agggh--fuck--"
your back bows when he slides his cock between your thighs. he's so big. thick and wide, not as lengthy as you might have expected but god, he's got the girth of your fucking arm. he keeps your back arched as he grips your wrists and tugs, drawing you up until your neck leans back against his chest. he gives you a slow thrust, the tip of his cock catching on your clit as he rolls his hips just right.
"oh--simon--"
"can't wait," he mumbles, sliding a thick palm over your throat, mouthing against your ear. "fuck, i can't wait to 'ave ya...can't wait to devour this fuckin' pussy--"
"simon--" you cry, reaching up and gripping his hand around your throat, and you sob again when you feel the cold band of his wedding ring. mine, mine, mine, mine--
"wot's y'r fuckin' name, baby?" simon asks, rocking his hips. you shake every time he hits your clit, and with his tight grip, all you can do is stand there and take it as he fucks your thighs. his cock is moving so nice between your folds, stimulating every little part of you, and you aren't coherent enough to be ashamed of how wet you are, starting to soak his cock and contribute to the intense wet shlick that sounds from between your legs. "huh? tell me--"
"'m mrs. riley," you babble, sucking his fingers into your mouth as they move up your throat. your eyes flutter shut, your entire body going slack as he lets go of your wrist with his free hand and pulls your hips back against his.
"tha's right," simon grunts, "my pretty girl. my perfect little wife, cookin' so fucking good for me, takin' such good care o' me, fuck--" simon groans, "rock fuckin' hard ever since i walked through tha' fuckin' door, baby."
"mmm--!" you squeal, bracing yourself against the edge of the table as he cups your pussy with one hand and cums between your folds the next. with just a few warm strokes, you're spilling into his palm, jelly in his arms as he collapses into the seat behind him and cradles you in his lap. "mrs...mrs. riley..." you're babbling again, giggling all warm and lucid, and simon chuckles as he cups the back of your head, feeding you his wet fingers and cursing under his breath as he watches you lick the slick off his hand.
you pay special attention to his ring finger, tongue swirling around the gold band. when you let his finger go with a pop, your eyes flutter open, and they meet his.
yeah, he thinks. she's ready.
#remember when i said i couldnt write#well i got this thought and just had to write it down#im still mentally FUCKED right now#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon ghost riley smut#ghost smut#simon riley smut#order up
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Lnds: The boys as parents
Warning: Long post ahead! 3.7K words in total! reader is MC! f!reader, AFAB!reader, implied abortion
Author's note: I went a little too overboard and specific with this one... IDK if you guys will like it. Might make a part 2/Individual fics it this post does well!
Zayne as a father:
He became a parent to 2 kids, both adopted. The eldest is a boy, and the youngest is a girl.
After a life-threatening complication when you were pregnant (it involved the problem in your heart, you and your husband decided to adopt instead. The first was a 4-year-old boy and, later on, a 2-year-old girl from an island near Linkon City.
Zayne works hard as a chief surgeon; even then, the pay at AKSO Hospital is no joke. Despite preparing more than enough money to live comfortably with a child, something within him fueled his desire to do better: before you got married, he worked hard to become a part of the Hospital's board of directors. This allowed him to control his time more and spend fewer hours working.
When you and Zayne adopted your first boy, a 4-year-old named Elias, you met him as a quiet little boy which you found working hard to try and read an outdated newspaper on the island. A few months later, you discovered your now-son's interests in academics and learning. Zayne was pleasantly surprised to see his little boy eager to learn about things outside of the island, so much so that the chief surgeon almost immediately registered him to enter formal schooling.
Most people would assume that, like himself, he expected his son to achieve great things in school, but on some school nights, before bedtime, Zayne would talk to your son. "You're doing well in school, Elias. But don't forget to have fun." You thought Zayne would never really have time to visit your son's plays and school activities. Still, much to your surprise, he was there for most of it, especially in events where your son is involved. It was such a comedic sight watching your husband hold a noncellular camera.
Being a part of the hospital board of directors meant long and lengthy meetings, so there were times when he still had to work late and leave beyond working hours. Sometimes, you let your son stay up and accompany you to pick up your husband. Of course, that's also to buy a hotpot for a midnight snack on the way. There were also times when you and your son would fall asleep on the couch waiting for him. He quickly picks you up and places you on his bed, tucking you and himself five minutes later. The next thing you know, it's morning, and the smell of waffles is wafting in the air.
He wasn't outwardly affectionate, but it's more than evident that he loves his son. He praises him to his colleagues (unknowingly), and he gives him gifts, and the cost doesn't matter. But sometimes, he shows love to his child through words, Complimenting his son's actions and skills.
He rarely scolds his son as he's the less strict parent. Your dynamic is the type where if you don't allow your son to go do something, he'll call his dad for backup. You almost always give in. Zayne never really puts his hand on his son. Instead, he opts for a more, face-the-consequence-of-your-actions type of dad. He lets his son be and ensures Elias learns that there are things he can't and shouldn't do. On more bad days, when your son is extremely hard-headed, Zayne will tell him what to do.
A few years later, despite many ups and downs, both of you decided to adopt from the same island again. It was a year-old infant named Penelope who was handed to the orphanage due to the death of her mother.
Between the two of you, Zayne was the one who fell in love first. He never expected to be a girl dad, and he didn't think too much of it until he saw her in your arms. The first thing she did was grab his finger and giggle, looking so beautiful against the island's sunset.
When she grew a bit older, Zayne became fond of how she began to resemble you in terms of actions and personality. She was undoubtedly the type of kid to make a fuss about the little things and act cunningly to get her way and, at the same time, not cry over the things that made her sad or hurt her.
She was often seen with you and clinging to you if not Elias. With her, things were an unspoken competition between Elias and Zayne. He was her first in many things: first dance, first time riding a bike, and first parent to be called by her, except for the first kiss. Her first kiss was given to his older brother, and it was on the forehead. Zayne sulked for the rest of the day while your son held that against him, stating that his little sister loves him more than his dad.
Despite this, Zayne and Elias developed another thing, an unspoken urge to protect the little girl. It may not seem like it, but Elias always focuses on Penelope, ensuring she's doing alright in school and having fun. Zayne sometimes sneaks into the daycare to peek at her daughter's condition. On Zayne's day off, Elias would tell stories about what Penelope does on a day-to-day basis. Thanks to his son, he was well-versed in her daughter's life events despite working a lot in the Hospital.
Xavier as a father:
Xavier is a father to one male child.
It was an unplanned pregnancy, which you only realized when you had your Quarterly checkup at headquarters. The doctor ruled you unfit to work on the field because you were carrying a month-old baby. You gagged at the news, and on the same day, you told Xavier. He just stared at you and turned red.
Xavier was…enthusiastic(?) with your pregnancy. Despite being the type not to really change when you were pregnant, he was always on guard and on your beck and call, buying out whatever cravings you had, even at midnight or on a rainy day (He was the one having cravings; You settled with whatever food you had in the house.)
While you were at home resting with him, you observed his behavior change. He was more silent than usual, looking out of the window; when you asked, he told you that his having a child felt like a fever dream. Xavier was unprepared to be a father but willing to learn. His trove of light novels and comic books slowly began to be invaded by parent magazines and guidebooks on caring for an infant. If he has some day off, he will be by your side to help you do stuff around the house or attend parenting classes behind your back.
When you gave birth, even through the amniotic fluid and white stuff covering the child, you could easily see that he was a pure carbon copy of Xavier. There was no part of the little baby that resembled you at all. Both in physical appearance and in attitude. Xavier cried tears of joy upon seeing your child born, albeit he never showed anyone his crying face. You know he did because his eyes and nose were puffier than usual.
The baby was quiet; it coos, plays with its saliva, and asks for a lot of milk, but I rarely cry. The only time it cries is if a loud sound is disturbing it from sleeping. And even when he cries, gently tapping and lulling him within five minutes will stop the little guy from crying.
The baby was attached to him. The baby would unknowingly leer towards him whenever he was around, asking to be picked up, to which Xavier would happily do so. He was a sleepy child and liked to nap even in broad daylight. He was easily fed and didn't put up much of a fight, even in his older years.
At the age of three, it was the beginning period where his little meek personality began to change. The kid was adventurous and the curious type. He was often found in his own world observing the little things in life, like a trail of ants or a kitten atop a tree branch, yet it seemed like he was curious to learn more things. He liked to observe from up close, which is why he was often seen on tiptoes trying to look over a lot of stuff or squatting down to observe the smaller insects on the ground.
To help him foster his talents and strengths, Xavier brings him to the headquarters once a week to let him run around and train. You were against it initially, but seeing your little boy imitate his father with clumsy focus made your heart swoon. A few years later. The kid was in school; Xavier was the one who attended the boy's school activities as you had to work most of the time, leading a team of your own.
He was doing well compared to the average students in school. Still, the teacher complained that the little boy kept sleeping in class, often getting him scolded and demerit. Xavier scratched his head and apologized, saying the little boy must've been exhausted after midnight play-dates with him.
Xavier keeps physical albums in his home, one for the family, one for you and him, and one dedicated to your child's life. Much to your surprise, he was more hands-on with his child than you might expect. Xavier never lets you carry your son for too long; he's afraid that you would collapse from exhaustion. He'd also be the one to put him to sleep, almost always falling asleep with his own son.
He's not the type to gift his child physical things (he still does occasionally). He would prefer to take you guys out to different locations, like a new arcade, a new park, or a place where your son could explore freely and safely. Xavier adores his child and keeps a photo of him on his lock screen. On his desk is a family picture of you and him that you take every year.
Xavier was the favorite parent when the little boy grew up because he was calmer, more collected, and the cooler one between you two. It's not that you weren't, but you know how boys are. Xavier tells his son many stories that he passes off as "fairytales" when, in reality, it was actually his real adventures in the decades he has lived and worked. But his favorite ones were when he and you fought against the wanderers side to side.
Needless to say, Xavier was a role model and a doting father. Because his appearance never really changed, at some point in the far future, he would be mistaken as the little boy's twin brother instead. It became a running joke in your family, so much so that out of pity, your son decided to dye his hair a different color to make him distinguishable.
Xavier and your son continued to have a boss and subordinate relationship in the hunter's association, which a lot of people really admired. On the other hand, you ran the bigger team and were on the field most of the time. Memories of regular days are filled with seeing each other in the medical Bay, on the field, or in a restaurant after a long fight on the field.
Rafayel as a father:
Father to two girls.
Rafayel's baby was not planned. In fact, he never believed you were pregnant until he saw signs of your body changing, especially the morning sickness and cravings. It's not that he didn't want to be a father, but it was simply too sudden for him, and he couldn't absorb it well.
He went a little overboard in preparation, hoarding many little clothes that your child would definitely outgrow. He brags about your pregnancy to many people, saying he's excited to be a father and always wanted a family of his own. People congratulate you a lot, even if you don't know who they are. On random days, you keep getting mail for some reason, and it's oversized packages: bassinets, branded feeding bottles, bottle steamers, and a box full of infant diapers. Safe to say, you really didn't need to buy a lot of things for your little passenger.
Unlike you, who was pretty lenient in designing the bedroom for your daughter, he was nit-picky as hell. The interior designer and suppliers had a hard time dealing with your husband, and you could only apologize secretly on his behalf. Nonetheless, the room turned out to be more beautiful than you expected.
When the baby arrived, he was crying, but he denied it. Yet everyone in the room could see him cry like a diva. Everyone wanted to see the baby, and so did your friends. Still, to your surprise, Rafayel refrained from letting anyone visit you for fear of the infant contracting any diseases from the visitors.
You decided to name her Anastasia. He was undeniably meant to be a girl dad. There was no day in the week when the little baby was dressed poorly. She would always wear on-brand clothes; even simple pajamas cost more than they should. He bought her dolls, stuffed toys, and those big dollhouses collectors buy.
When the little baby girl grew up and began to attend school, Rafayel would always ask for a kiss on the cheek, which your daughter would happily give.
Rafayel likes to gossip with you and your daughter, and he is a good source of news because he always knows the juicier side of stories. With your daughter, he knows the reputation of each and every parent. Sometimes, they go too far and pick on your daughter's classmates, e.g., telling them that their clothes are old-fashioned or that one kid looks like a mean bully. The bad thing is, your daughter thinks so as well. You and Rafayel once went to her sports day competition and saw her play a three-legged race partnered with a boy. You could see the smoke coming out of Rafayel's head, and you had to cover his mouth because he was uttering profanities. Something like: "Get your hands off my daughter, you little…"
Raf likes to give gifts as a sign of affection, and your daughter is thankful, but on special days, she doesn't request anything. Instead, she insists on having a dad-daughter date instead. Thanks to those moments, Raf began to lean more towards spending time together rather than showering her with gifts.
She grew up replicating Rafayel's diva-ness as her form of humor, and she usually tries to get away with stuff using that method. But she was family-oriented, being the type to show affection outwardly. She most definitely became a daddy's girl and would always go to him for help.
Later on, when your first child reached her teen years, you decided to have another child, and this time, it was a girl whom you named Charlotte. Rafayel was more tamed with the room decoration this time, but not with the gifts and outfits. He didn't allow any secondhand items from Anastasia to be given to the younger one.
Rafayel, despite already being a seasoned dad, was more overprotective with his second daughter, hiring a nanny for her. He would be restless if he didn't manage to see her for two days, so he refrained from going out of town unless necessary. If he did, however, he would always call you and ask how Charlotte was doing. You would turn the phone to your daughter, but she wouldn't pay him any mind and continue coloring in her little notebook.
Unlike Anastasia, Charlotte preferred to be with you. She was the more reserved of the two siblings, but she was mature for her age. She knew what she wanted and would outwardly deny if whatever she was doing or receiving was not to her liking. She wasn't that dramatic and would just stare at her sister or father whenever they exaggerated their emotions in front of her.
Sometimes, you and Charlotte just like to watch your other daughter and your husband act all dramatic. Then you just brush them off and spend your day drinking tea and eating cupcakes.
Sylus as a father
Sylus is the father of twins. One boy, one girl.
You weren't married when you found out you were pregnant; you were his lover by then, but you were severely unprepared to have children, considering the environment you guys were in. You got married in secret, and he made a promise to protect you and your children despite living in the N109 zone.
Upon the birth of your children, he was mainly on edge. He got you the best doctors and midwives. Although your birth was surprisingly smooth sailing, you heard some stories from the nurses nearby about how Sylus was threatening a doctor if you ended up with complications. Thankfully, the twins were delivered safely.
Between the twins, the eldest is a girl you named Mauve, and the boy, Claude. Mauve had your eyes, but his hair color was daunting, and he had a more pale skin tone, while Claude resembled you more than Sylus, except for his eyes.
Sylus didn't care much for the children; he made that apparent by focusing more on you and his work and leaving the kids to the nanny. That quickly changed after six months. On a random day, he saw you tending to your children, both sleeping soundly in your arms. You seemed at peace inside the bedroom, looking out into the distance. Something switched inside of Sylus, which neither of you can point out, but there was one thing for sure: You guys were now a family.
The mindset change perplexed you the most because, beginning that day, Sylus made a quiet effort to learn how to take care of the twins. He was often seen with the nanny, asking for specific methods of washing the feeding bottles or bathing the twins. And in no less than a month, he was practically the one taking care of your children whenever he was at home.
Sylus doesn't spoil his children more than necessary. Sure, they had rooms of their own and a decent amount of toys, branded items, and clothes, but he only gave them a little more than necessary. He firmly believes that children should learn to work hard at an early age to not get disappointed in the future; you scolded him for that, though, after all, they were just children.
Sylus always plays with his children whenever he can. He doesn't like it when family time is interrupted by business, so he ensures no one disturbs the residence until you and the children have had enough fun. His play methods are surprisingly tame and even comedic; after all, the sight of Sylus dawning twin-tails and stickers on his face doesn't come by that often. On days when he's out of town, Luke and Kieran are the ones who play with the children, and not even they can withstand the dress-up and role-play.
Whenever things get complicated in the organization, or even a hint of danger lurks around the family, Sylus sends you and the children away to a residence under a different name. It was located on a more private island, which only his private jet could access. Then, he deals with the problem as swiftly as possible.
A few more years later, Sylus changed. His principle of hard work equals good rewards shifted, and he slowly began to spoil the twins. They were spoiled, but it was surprising that they were obedient. That is until you spied around them when you were supposed to be at work. It was thanks to this that you realized another thing: Sylus is the type of father who says, "I can't do anything, your mother said no. Sorry, kids." when you're around and "C'mon kids, who will scold you? Your mom is at work, and I'm the parent in charge!" when you're not.
Thanks to this, you also discovered the real nature of your children behind the nice, good children facade.
They were naughty: They liked to play pranks on your husband, but Sylus always outsmarts them. You constantly wondered where they were picking up these silly pranks until you saw them huddled together with Luke and Kieran in a random corner of the house.
The twins were cunning: They greeted guests with a smile and treated maids with care, but they sneaked around the staff room and reported to Sylus what they heard. Once, they broke a vase and convinced you that Mephisto did it.
They were eccentric: The smiles on their faces were business smiles whenever other people were around. Note they were smiling ear to ear, but their smile was unsettling once you realized that you had entered the house of Onichynus' leader. It was almost threatening even.
Sylus, despite not looking like it, valued education as he believed it could give his children an advantage. Still, he'd let his children be street-smart rather than book-smart. Because of this belief, he would bring his children around for business meetings and less dangerous missions. You once argued with him over the twins' safety. Still, they reassured you that they're more than capable of protecting themselves.
A few years later, into adulthood, Claude was quietly regarded as a lethal weapon due to his proficiency in engineering (nuclear & Chemical) and in statistics; His background and frightening loyalty to his father and Onychinus amplified the organization's fearsome reputation.
On the other hand, Mauve was the front of Onychinus, often leaving the country to make business deals on behalf of his father, who was busy working at home. The woman was responsible. She was undoubtedly a gambler who believed high stakes = high rewards, yet she had never once lost that gamble.
But when you and your family get together for dinner every week, it's like they're the most mundane family ever, talking about what they hear out on the street and what the new neighbors are up to or what new places to visit in Linkon City. You just…came to accept it.
Author's footnotes: Alright this post is too long for my own liking but it would be longer if I go in depth about your family details. and at this point, this is like an AU... Layout by me, using canva premium | Do not repost |
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#lnds#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#lnds sylus#lnds rafayel#love and deepspace xavier#xavier love and deepspace#lads xavier#xavier x reader#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus x reader#sylus love and deepspace#rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#loveanddeepspace#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace mc#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#lads zayne#l&ds zayne#dr zayne#li shen#l&ds rafayel#l&ds#l&ds xavier
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bereft of grace
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Summary: Defeated by Messmer, you find that his plans for you, a mongrel tarnished, are far different than what you might expect.
(tw: non-con, humiliation, forced stripping, restraints, mild tit torment, rough sex, size difference, stretching, vaginal fingering, creampie, overstimulation, pain)
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Link to AO3
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You feel the infernal chill of his helm pressing against the side of your face as he lowers his head to your own. His words, soft-spoken and laced with cruelty, brush across your ears as your naked back remains pinned to his chest - restrained by both the strength of his arm pulling tightly across your stomach and the unshakeable wrap of the snakes which lace across your wrists to keep your hands useless and pinned against your sides.
"Mongrel tarnished." He growls the words like a slur, silken hatred pairing with the predatory knowledge that you were truly helpless in his arms. "Thy kind are good for naught."
A serpentine tongue slips free of his lips to stroke a languid line across your neck, tasting the sweat of your battle and the fear that had long since laced your skin since he had deprived you of your torn clothing; the shredded materials laying in a discarded pile below your suspended frame. His tongue is warm, wet and the sensation of it brushing along the sensitive skin of your throat is as arousing as it is repulsive.
"Stripped of gold."
Thin fingers force their way between your legs, widening your thighs as they push at and grope the skin there so roughly that you know small, circular bruises will be left in their wake. His hand slides further, your breath hitching with despair as he presses against your most private flesh; lengthy digits stroking along your slit to test the skin there as they tease your slightly-wet hole before slipping up to graze across the ultra-sensitive nub of your clit.
"Stripped of grace."
Gasping as he pushes two of his fingers within you with little preamble, the sudden stretch of the intrusion burns like hellfire and you cry out as he starts to pump them inside your walls. Your body responds despite itself, his long digits stroking areas which were quick to ignite a warmth in your cunt that made your brain feel fuzzy despite the hollowing discomfort.
"Stripped even of thy paltry linens."
The heat is oppressive, the flames which he was able to conjure in an instant making his body feel like a furnace where it touches your own - even through his armour - and it pairs with the shameful warmth which rolls from your own body as you find yourself pressing down into his hand like a bitch in heat.
As soon as he had robbed you of your weapon, you assumed death was to swiftly follow and a genuine fear of being impaled like so many of the corpses which littered the road to the Shadow Keep immediately made you compliant to his commands. You had dropped to the floor and awaited a swift death which was not to come as his hand had stayed, something almost like amusement playing in his drawn face as he noted the instant submission and ordered you to approach him.
He had ripped your clothing from you, tearing it with a demigods strength as you shivered and ignored the hot shame which paired with the fear in your heart. His snakes followed their masters will without verbal instruction, the infernal heat of them as they slid across your skin making you gasp as forked tongues tasted their way across your shuddering frame to lock your hands in place.
After that, it didn't take long for Messmer to make his move. His gaze, split between hues of gold and the abyssal void, had taken its time in your appraisal - peering into your anguish and fear-laced expression before roving across your ample breasts and lower half. A rail-thin hand had struck like one of his many serpents, harshly gripping at your upper arm to spin you in place and allowing him to scoop you close as inhumane strength lifted you from the floor as though you weighed nothing.
Nothing in the face of a demigod.
Thoughts snapping back into the moment as a third finger breaches your hole, a pained howl slips free of your lips as you writhe in place - attempting to pull away from the pleasurable pain with a futile struggle. Sex and bodily pleasure wasn't unknown to you, but the sheer power which rolled from the demigod who seemed determined to amuse himself with your flesh made it difficult to focus on anything outside of the humid air and the sensations he was forcing upon you.
"Thy kind are fit for use as a fleshly pleasure. No more. Strip all thoughts of lordship from thy desires before my hand is pushed to strip thy skin from such soft flesh."
Fresh snakes slither across your chest, the thin bodies wrapping around the globes of your breasts and tightenening to the point of true discomfort - the rope-like restraints making a wicked pressure quickly build up in your abused chest. Sinking their fangs into the sensitive skin just below your chest, the snakes showed no sign of letting up their firm hold and you almost sob with relief as Messmer's thick fingers pull free of your cunt.
It's a short-lived peace though, as his slickened fingers are quick to establish how tight the hold his snakes have achieved and a guttural cry breaks free of your throat as his large hands move to pinch at your chest roughly. Nipples perked due to the pressure and arousal which is rolling through your stimulated frame, he's careful to snatch the sensitive nubs between his fingers, one at time, until fresh tears spring into your eyes and your back arches violently into his chest while your lips form a constant stream of pleas and whines.
"For one so cursed and devoid of all, thy voice is surprisingly sweet." And although you cannot see his face, you can hear the predatory arousal which accompanies the words.
He was enjoying himself, attempting to force you to do the same.
"You are the cursed one."
Finding your voice, you yelp out the words like an accusation - arousal, shame, and mild horror sparking a momentary boldness which you immediately regret as his body stiffens and a sharp chill replaces the cruel warmth of his earlier tones.
"True, little tarnished. My curse is borne in the void of the abyssal serpent. Naught more than a monster, I will force thee to embrace thy oblivion and know such suffering."
Something blunted presses against your hole and your panicked struggle renews as you feel just how big he is, the girth making genuine fear lance your spine as you realise that his earlier rough treatment with his fingers was a necessity more than anything else. Aside from the stretch which his fingers provided, you were horrified to feel just how wet you were as his cock grazed along your slit; collecting your arousal to ensure an easier entry as he forced himself inside such a tight-fit space.
The noise that slips free of your throat is inhumane, guttural and raw, as the head of his cock breaches past your hole. It feels like it's going to split you apart and the sheer burning ache of the merciless stretch instantly overpowers any other feeling in your body - your toes curling as a wracked sob shakes your trembling frame.
"Please! Please, st-stop." The words are a babble, stuttered and broken, as you try to force yourself to relax around him, to adjust to his infernal size. "My lord, please."
The unexpected use of his title earns a rumble of approval and his lips are hot against your neck once more as his sharpened teeth graze across the sensitive flesh while he considers the plea with a low hum.
"Thy slickened folds tell of a differing desire, little tarnished." Messmer growls, keeping his cock still as he allows himself to acclimatise to his gripping tightness of your spasming cunt. "But I am not a rutting beast, devoid of all mercies. Ask it of me and I shall see to thy own pleasures."
Fresh shame flushed through your frame, adding another layer of heat to the already sweat-slicked skin as you listen to his offer. He would force you to ask this of him. To make you accomplice to your own unmaking. A cruel mercy, but a mercy which you would take him on as the alternative seemed impossible to bear.
"I beg you, my- my lord. Please, use me."
His chuckle is victorious and wicked in its joy as Messmer pulls you lower on to his cock, forcing another two inches of him within your aching hole. However, true to his word, his free arm, the one not pinning you to his chest, slips down between your legs and you gasp as his finger circles itself at the top of your cunt, seeking out your most sensitive flesh.
He knows he has found it when you jerk in his arms, an electric bolt of pleasure arcing across your skin as his calloused finger grazes your swollen clit. It sparks him to pick up a slow pace, his cock breaching your hole until it presses flush against your cervix before pulling free until only the head remains. A slow pace, but a brutal one as every thrust makes it feel like he is pulling your walls free with him - the friction immediately sending your body into overdrive.
His finger never lets up the pressure on your clit; alternating between grazing along it directly and gently thumbing circles around it as the dual manipulations forced your legs wider, your body seeking more pleasure to offset the ache of the stretch. Pain and pleasure, both sensations at war within your tortured flesh until his thumb presses just a little too roughly against your nub and you came undone.
Clenching around his cock, your release brings with it a low scream as waves of pleasure roll across your body. Messmer seems to appreciate the forced pleasure, if the growing pace of his cock is anything to go by, but the continued stimulation of his thrusts only serves to make your orgasm draw out until your body twitches from the aftershocks.
"So easily pleasured. Were it not for thy warriors garb and weaponry, I would have assumed thee a courtesan. A temptress, well-versed in the pleasures of men."
Messmer grunts the insult as he continues to fuck you without mercy but his humiliating words barely register within your overstimulated mind as your whimpers fill the large room. His voice is full of excitement and you can hear the slight gasps which exist between the words and how they speak of his own coming release.
His cock having ruined your most sensitive walls, the dull ache of the stretch now only serves to enhance the pleasure and you cannot help but clench around him, pulling him to his finish as his cock twitches within you.
The arm around your stomach tightens, as do the snakes which remain bound across your suffering frame and you feel the heat of his release as it scorches you from the inside out, much hotter than any man you had been with before. Seeking his own pleasure, Messmer pulls you tight, forcing his cock up hard against your battered cervix as his mouth buries itself into your neck - teeth and tongue making a mess of your skin as he marks the territory like a beast.
It all proves too much and you come again, your cunt fluttering and squeezing his cock as low, animalistic noises break free of your lips. Your strength leaves you in an instant after the initial high and the loose limbs of your frame are only supported by his arm and snakes as he keeps you suspended like a puppet until he's finished with you.
His cock pulls out, the movement slow and certain, and the moment his cockhead slips free you feel the heat of his release trickle down your thighs as a gaping emptiness seems to fill the space between your legs. Despite the heat, you feel cold and you whimper anew as his snakes unlatch themselves from your chest and retreat back to their master.
Messmer's breathing is heavy and his chest feels as hot as ever against your naked back, even his armour having lost its metallic chill, as he continues to hold you in place. Aching, twitching, and thoroughly fucked you lay passively in his arm, your entire body feeling loose and untrustworthy.
After a minute has passed, Messmer speaks once more and his hoarse words are delivered to your ear as he lifts you slightly higher.
"My vague amusement with thee requires further consideration." As silken as before, you shudder at the close proximity as you rub your mess-slickened thighs together. "And so my offer is thus: remain in the Shadow Keep as a personal courtesan to myself, a role in which no other man nor beast shall lay hand on thee, or choose to return to ash and I shall grant thee a swift death until thy body is restored by the grace of gold which thee are unworthy of."
Your breath hitches, both options relaying in your mind as you recover from the shock of the unexpected offer. Messmer, however, did not appear to be a patient man and his arm jostled you slightly as he instsntly pushed for a response.
"Well, little tarnished, what is thy choice?"
#weak for a redhead 😔#messmer the impaler#messmer the impaler x reader#messmer x tarnished#elden ring messmer#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#fromsoftware#base serpent messmer#messmer x reader#messmer#fromsoft fanfic
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The Heart of Rome (Marcus Acacius x OC)
All Chapters List
V. The Council
Hi, guys I did some research on Rome, and they don't use the word princess. instead, they use rarely: filia regis so I mentioned in the story. But I will use the princess word to make it easier. I will make Geta softer than he looks in the trailers, but not much obviously. In history Caracalla kills Geta so I am writing my fic according to real history places, and tradition, events. if you have any advice let me know, thank you for all your support, so enjoy the episode...
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Si scio quid sit amor, propter te est.
If I know what love is, it is because of you. H.B.
Road…
The streets of Rome were fairly tranquil at night, in comparison to the bustling activity that characterizes the city during the day. It was particularly the case with the roads leading out of the city and into more remote areas. The general's villa was situated on one of these remote roads, and it was a somewhat lengthy journey to reach the city on foot. It might have been a good idea to use a horse or cart to traverse this road. But you were determined to continue on your journey, despite the discomfort you felt. You voiced your concerns to yourself and even considered turning back. You would have been pleased to rest in Marcus' bed, next to his warm body, his strong arms. Yet, you were worried that you might regret not going ahead with your plan if you didn't do it. Even though you had these concerns, you decided to keep walking. As you got closer to the entrance to the big city, you suddenly noticed what sounded to be footsteps behind you.
You were reluctant to turn your head to see what was happening because a shiver ran through your whole body. It was as if the darkness of the night, which had been your friend a moment ago, had now become your enemy. Sounds, shadows and endless dirt roads were now his companions. When you started running, your legs were not as strong as you had hoped, and you experienced more discomfort than you had anticipated. Nevertheless, you ran with all your strength to reach the stone roads.
Subsequently, upon noticing your breathing becoming more rapid, you decided to take a moment to catch your breath. You were somewhat surprised but grateful when you realised that you were no longer being followed. Upon reaching the stone streets, you were somewhat reassured, but on the other hand, you felt a pang of sadness because you were further away from Marcus. The morning was fast approaching, with dawn on the horizon. From your observation point at the foot of the Venus statue in one corner of the street, you were clinging to the marble at the very end of the column and looking at the city panorama ahead, attempting to calculate the direction of Palatine Hill. The Colosseum is in a great spot, right in the center and visible from all sides. It's a bit of a landmark. So, it made sense to adjust the route to go forward and to the right. You still had a way to go, so you kept walking. You never expected it to be so difficult.
It's particularly when you're passing through these streets, places you've passed before, that your memories start to haunt you. It's as if these streets, which you used to pass by horse and cart, have now turned against you, becoming your enemy's friend. After a few quiet, dark streets, you stopped to rest under the triumphal arch. As you drove under the arch, you noticed something you hadn't seen before and were surprised.
The colossal statue of a former emperor that you had seen it before, but you hadn't had a chance to look at the inscription.
‘Imperator Caesar Lucius Septimius Severus Pertinax Augustus’
Your knees gave way, and you found yourself unable to stand. The stone pavements felt cold against your skin, but you remained still. As you gazed at the statue of your father, you found yourself thinking that perhaps things might have turned out differently if he had been there with you. You had never had the opportunity to witness first-hand what kind of an emperor he was, but from what you had heard, he had been quite successful. You spoke to him, your gaze fixed on his stone eyes, and wished he had heard you: “Father, my lord, I have made my decision. I have been thinking since I learnt about the letter. I came here even though you warned me, even though I knew it would be hard. My heart hurts, father, but I am not afraid. I met love, and I am not going to lose it. I love him so much. I know you hear me, and I know you understand. I am not angry with you. In fact, I am grateful. I met my brothers. You were right about Caracalla. Provide guidance on Geta. I saved him, Father, and I'm ready to face whatever comes next. I know you're with the Gods now, so I'm asking you to help me. I'll do whatever it takes for Rome. Open my eyes and ears, give me strength.”
You wiped away your tears and remained in a seated position for a period of time. However, when the cold became unbearable, you began to shiver. Before standing, you heard the distant cry of a horse, followed by the sound of hooves striking the ground. You wrapped your cloak around yourself tightly, burying your hair and face within it. The sound of hooves echoing in the silence of the night only served to heighten your nervousness.
As the horse drew nearer, you became aware of a slight tremor in the ground beneath your feet, caused by the horse's hooves striking it. You turned your head and observed a man who clothed in a dark cloak.
'My lady,' he greeted you.
When you looked at him, you felt a little surprised and perhaps a little uneasy, and said nothing. He opened his cloak and jumped down from his horse and approached you, still holding on to his horse's harness. The horse snorted noisily and you involuntarily took a few steps back.
"It is imperative that you come with me, as the situation is too perilous for you to remain here at this hour.”
"Who are you that I should agree to accompany you? Was it you who followed me previously?”
He bowed his head and replied, "Yes, my lady. I am a slave of Master Macrinus and I must take you to him."
You narrowed your eyes. ”What if I decline your offer?”
The man laughed, 'He thought you would say that. He said if she doesn't want to come, bring her by force, before she does something to hurt herself. Don’t let her to do, so.’
It was your time to laugh, 'How thoughtful of him. Tell him I appreciate the advice, but I have somewhere else to be right now.’
As soon as you turned around, you heard him coming towards you.
“My lady, I have to do as I'm told,” he said, coming up quickly behind you and grabbing your wrist. You tried to pull back with all your strength, but he was too strong. When he got close, you had a chance to get a good look at him. He had a very muscular and large body, which reminded you of warriors fighting in the Colosseum.
“Let go of my arm!” you cried.
But he had no intention of letting go, his strong hand locked around your wrist as if you were chained.
As he drew you closer to his horse, you heard another horse neighed from down the street, followed by a voice you recognised from before. It was a voice you would not forget, even if you were dead, a voice you felt your ears were made to hear.
The general spurred his black horse into a halt in front of you two. The horse reared under him and uttered a cry. He leapt down from the horse with one swift movement, his face as angry as ever, his eyes fixed on the other man. The general seized the man's hand that was gripping your wrist, pulled it and pushed with such force that the man staggered backwards. But he seemed to be angry too, and quickly regained his composure.
“How dare you lay a hand on her? State yourself, who are you?”
The General moved in front of you, taking charge and protecting you. You were relieved to see him. From behind, he appears to be dressed only in his tunic and cloak. It seems he may have left in a hurry, perhaps he was so worried, you wondered if he had opened the letter yet or not.
"General Acacius, Master Macrinus has given me a mission. I will complete it.”
"Macrinus? I just remember where I saw you before. Tell him I am Marcus Acacius, and I will prevent you from completing your mission.”
The man frowned and tensed as one hand went to the sheath of the sword at his waist. He was not afraid of the General at all.
"Marcus," you gently grasped his cloak and gave it a slight tug. He did not turn to you, still glaring at the man.
"Macrinus would like to take me to the council meeting, I believe he wants to ensure my safety until then. I apologise for not telling you before, I hope you can forgive me.”
Acacius turned his head and looked at you. His eyes conveyed a multitude of emotions, including anger, frustration, and longing.
"Nevertheless, I am unable to allow you to accompany him. I will take you to the meeting if that is your desire."
"No, the emperors may think you've been hiding me all this time. I won't let this happen to you because of me."
He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, as if trying to suppress his anger.
“Don't you realize how much I care about you? They've already seen you with me, so I'm prepared to face whatever consequences may result.”
You frowned. "I would never want to cause any damage to your reputation."
"Is that why you decided to leave me? What exactly you were planning, I wonder?”
You bit your bottom lip. “To go to Geta and tell him everything.”
Acacius' eyes flashed with anger. “I'm hoping you're joking right now.”
“He said he owed me, I thought he'd understand.”
“Do you really think he's as pure and kind-hearted as you? How can you be so reckless?”
"Perhaps he'll reconsider when I tell him I'm his sister.”
Acacius shook his head, “Wrong. He won't. He'll kill you on the spot, I'm sure of it.”
You were fairly certain that what he said was true, but you still had the inclination to believe it wasn't. Then, two more riders came down the street towards you and dismounted next to the other man. The General immediately sensed a potential threat and pulled you behind him for protection.
Macrinus knew exactly what he was doing and he was determined to see it through.
It is probable that his slave felt emboldened by the arrival of the other men, as evidenced by his demeanor, which shifted from apprehension to confidence.
"General, I advise you not to cause us any trouble. We're taking the lady with us.”
Acacius drew his sword and looked at them with a glint in his eye, ready for whoever or whatever was about to come at him.
"I dare you to try.”
They seemed to hesitate at first, looking at each other, then drew their swords, the tension rising. You swallowed hard.
"Three against one. I heard you were a good soldier, but you don't stand a chance against three of us." He smiled, but it seemed a little cruelly.
"You must have misheard then. I've killed more when I was in a worse situation." His voice was threatening, making the other person uneasy.
"Indeed, I had the opportunity to observe it at the Colosseum. However, we also fought there, so it would be unwise to underestimate us."
They fought there? At the Colosseum? Gladiators?
You had observed the combatants in action during your time there; you had witnessed it first-hand, with your own eyes, and it sent a chill down your spine.
You moved in front of the general, who was still pointing his sword at the others.
“Marcus, you need to let me go with them.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Please, hear me out, the council meeting is just around the corner, he can't do anything to me, he needs me.”
You grasped his other hand tightly with both hands and looked into his eyes.
“Please, I ask you to trust me.”
“He's the one I don't trust.”
“I know. I don't trust him either but I need to find out what his intention is before the meeting.”
Marcus looked at you for a moment, considering your words. Then he sheathed his sword. "Very well. You're right.”
The others seemed relieved, but they tried not to show it.
"A wise choice, General," the man said, his voice firm and his gaze steady. He gestured for the others to put their swords back, then approached you with purpose.
"Come with me, my lady," he held out his hand to you and the general caught it in mid-air.
"Who gave you permission to touch her?"
He pushed his hand away and grabbed your wrist. "I will be accompanying her.”
The man laughed and looked at you with disdain. "As you wish. That's fine by me."
As he walked away towards his horse, the general turned to you.
"I'm assuming you've ridden a horse before?"
You didn't ride much in Egypt, given that you lived inconspicuously.
"Well, sort of.”
The look on your face made him smile. He pulled you close to his horse. His black horse lifted one leg and just the tip of the hoof touched the ground, snorted heavily. Acacius stroked the horse's back gently. "You should know how lucky you are to be carrying this beautiful woman, Dromos. Be gentle with her.” The horse lets out a soft whinny as a reply, and Acacius smiles.
“Dromos?”
“Yes, I named him that because he runs so fast.”
“I see.You seem to be quite good friends,” you said with a smile. Hesitantly you reached out and stroked the horse’s neck, ran your fingers through the black of his mane.
“Indeed we are,” he agreed. He placed his hand on the stirrup and held it for you. “Place your foot here and I'll lift you up."
You did as he said, then he put his hand to your waist, lifted you easily and sat you on the thin saddle. When the horse moved, you grabbed onto the horn of the saddle to steady yourself. Then you felt a soreness between your legs but forced yourself to ignore. Acacius quickly climbed on top of the horse and positioned himself right behind you, gripping the reins. You felt safe as you felt his muscular body caressing yours from behind.
“Lead the way,” the General said loudly to the other man, you felt his warm breath just above your ear. The man nodded kicks his horse forward. Acacius gave a gentle pat to Dromos, he neighs, and starts to move faster. Acacius moves a little, closing the gap between you, his arms around you from either side as he holds the reins. Your body shook with the movement of Dromos as he galloped at a moderate speed through the streets of Rome. Your back kept bumping against the General's strong chest, and you even felt his chin in your hair. You gasped. Was he doing it on purpose?
You glanced over at his face and noticed a smile at the corner of his lips, even though his eyes were fixed on the road ahead.
“I’m guessing you’re upset with me?" you asked as the General pulled the rein to the right to steer it, top of your shoulder bumping his chest.
"For leaving me in bed and abandoning me?"
"And for not mentioning the letter before."
"That too.”
When you turned to look at him, a few strands of your hair got caught in his beard. The hairs kept flying with the wind, brushing against his face. He seemed pleased with them.‘
"I must admit that I was eager to find out who you are, but this is beyond what I could have imagined. I can understand why you did it, but I'm still hurt. I wish you hadn't left me in bed. You broke my heart.”
You swallowed, “Forgive me, I didn't know what to do. Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done. Will you let me heal your heart? I'm Medicus, you know?" You blinked your eyes under your long eyelashes, he smiled.
He buried his lips in your flowing hair and whispered in your ear.
"My heart is yours to heal. You don't need to be a medicus for that.”
You smiled as you felt his lips on your cheek, your lips yearning so much to touch his. At that moment, as you rode with him on his horse, you wished that he would take you far away, to a place where no one could find you two, you were willing to give everything for it.
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Macrinus’s Villa…
The men on horseback dismounted and led their horses into the courtyard. Acacius gently pulled his horse's reins and rode in a circle, glancing towards the villa. It seemed as though he was hesitating. Soon, Macrinus appeared in the doorway and grasped the bridle to the right, turning it around to face him.
"My lady," he bowed his head and greeted you. "General Acacius?”
Acacius ignored him and dismounted, one hand still clutching his horse's harness.
“Sir Macrinus, have you stationed your slaves outside my villa to keep watch? Or should I say your gladiators?”
Macrinus smirked. “I needed to make sure Lady Aurelia was safe.” He turned his eyes to you.
“I think you can rest assured that it's not something you need to worry about, especially when she's with me.”
“Which is why you must have accompanied her here, I see.”
“Apparently.” Acacius muttered.
“Then let me invite you in,” he gestured with his hand.
Acacius turned to you and held out his hand. “My lady.”
You smiled, initially surprised that he was addressing you with respect for the first time, but then realising how much you liked it. You took his hand and dismounted the horse and allowed yourself to be embraced by his protective arms. He took you gently and lowered you down.
As your feet touched down on the ground, you felt the throbbing return and let out a quiet moan.“Are you alright?” Acacius's voice was worried.
You regarded him with a somewhat hesitant expression. "I'm a little sore from..." You pursed your lips.
Acacius stroked your disheveled hair with his big hand. "I wish I could relieve your soreness.”
You blushed at the memory of witnessing how well his passionate lips worked on your body before.
“I'll take that as a promise for later, General.” You smirked mischievously.
“At your service, my lady,” he grasped your hand gently and kissed it.
As your heart melted in the warmth of his smile, Macrinus watched you from afar, his eyes narrowed in scrutiny. He felt something very different. He controlled his expression though and cleared his throat. You and the General looked at him, his warrior slave standing beside him. Acacius held out his hand, offering it to you.
“Shall we?”
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Sitting in his garden, you realized that Macrinus' villa was bigger than the General's. The fountain in the center of this big courtyard was rectangular, and in the center was a statue of the queen goddess Salacia, the wife of Neptune, the goddess of the sea and water. She's holding a bucket just above her head and the water is gushing out of it.
The columns ahead were white and straight, half covered with red marble, with ionic protrusions at the corners. They proudly stood among various trees and plants, but this beauty was nothing compared to the Domus Severiana. That palace was magnificent and wonderful.
Although you couldn't see it clearly because it was still dark, you were wondering what kind of flowers were behind the fountain when Macrinus' gladiator slave stood there, blocking your view. You met his gaze and turned to the general, who was standing next to you. He seemed uneasy and reluctant to sit down. His body language showing his tension. You reached out and grasped his hand.
"Would you perhaps like to sit with me?"
"My lady, I believe I will be more comfortable like this," he replied, his eyes on the gladiator who crossed his arms and looking at Macrinus as he approached.
“Apologies, I am expecting an important guest, I wanted to make sure he arrived safely,” he sat down opposite you and crossed his legs. A delighted smile spread across his face.
“I assume you brought the letter with you, my lady?” he said, looking at you.
You glanced at the General, to whom you entrusted the letter. He crossed his arms and looked directly at Macrinus.
“Prior to that, elucidate your intentions regarding the council.”
"I'm going to make sure our lady gets her 'filia regis' (princess) title back and gets what's rightfully hers. You know, general, you were what, twenty? You must have been about that age when Aurelia was born. Septimius gave me the task of taking her away to protect her. He made me promise.”
"I was nineteen," the General stated, his eyes distant as he recalled those days. "And you were the one who made up the lie that she drowned in the river when she was little? You actually took her to Egypt? With that man, Vicius."
He turned his head to look at you, to see your expression. You felt sad when you remembered him, but you gave the general a half-smile anyway.
“There were three hundred days of mourning throughout the empire,” Macrinus gave you a half smile. “Then it was forgotten when it was time for Caracalla's fifth birthday, but the people of Rome must still remember their princess. The year you were born was a very prosperous one, the fields were full of new crops, there were hardly any beggars in the streets.”
A soft smile spread across Acacius' face, you wondered why, but you didn't feel comfortable to ask when Macrinus around.
“Wine,” Macrinus ordered one of the other slaves. “My lady, please eat something,” he said, indicating the food on the table. “You need to gather your strength.” Then he looked at Acacius who shook his head. “I should head out to dress properly for the Council,” he said and turned to you and got down on his knees. "My Lady, I will be ready to provide any assistance you may require at the council today."
“No, General, I cannot allow you to do that.”
He looked confused.
"Perhaps it would be better if I said that I've kept my name a secret from you.”
“They've already seen us together,” he protested. “I don't think they'll care about that.”
"Lady Aurelia is right, General. It would not be good for you to make your side clear, at least from Geta's point of view. Half the council already knows everything and we have the upper hand."
"Marcus, please," you grabbed his big hand with both of yours. "I don't want you to stay in the middle of this.”
He took both your hands in his, his beard brushing against your skin. "As you wish. but know that if things don't go our way, I will do my utmost to ensure your safety." He kissed you gently on the top of your hands and stood up. "I will see you at the Council then." He nodded and left the courtyard. With his leaving, you felt abandoned, out of place.
Macrinus' gladiator-slave accompanied the general out into the courtyard and returned a moment later. As his eyes met yours, you turned your head.
“I wonder why you keep gladiators as slaves in your villa?”
Macrinus smiled, shaking the wine glass in his hand, “Choosing gladiators is an art, they often become prisoners of war, just like other slaves.”
“So you buy them, train them and put them in fights,” you looked at the gladiator without turning your head. "What is the return on investment of this strategy? Is this the best way to gain the trust of the emperors, by providing entertainment?”
Macrinus laughed. “My lady, you have the right angle, but I don't think you see the whole picture. Perhaps you could save your thinking skills for the council, as it is almost time. My slaves will be ready to dress you properly," he said, rising to his feet. "If I may ask, as you still haven't given me the letter."
One of the girl slaves came as you stood up. “The general has the letter, I'm sure he will bring it before the council.”
“I must say, I am rather surprised at the extent of your trust in him.” Macrinus narrowed his eyes.
“I trust him more than anyone,” you said confidently. You couldn't bear to hear him speak unfairly of the General. You took a step back, looking around to avoid making eye contact with him. “Now, where do I get dressed?”
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Roman Forum…
The Roman Forum was the centre of day-to-day life in Rome: the site of triumphal processions and elections; the venue for public speeches, criminal trials and gladiatorial matches; and the nucleus of commercial affairs. Here statues and monuments commemorated the city's leaders. This was where the Senate—as well as Republican government itself—began. The Senate House, government offices, tribunals, temples, memorials and statues gradually cluttering the area.
By the time the carriage carrying you and Macrinus arrived, the morning sun was already brightening the streets. The streets were now filled with Romans, spread around, going about their daily routines. This particular street was noticeably more crowded than usual. A considerable number of people had gathered in anticipation of the emperors' attendance at today's significant meeting. Among them were individuals with pending court cases, spectators eager to witness the new gladiators' initial contests, distinguished patricians and their wives, and those in need, who had come with the hope of receiving alms from them. Additionally, there were individuals who were to be dedicated as priestesses to the temple of Vesta and their companions, as well as those with business at the state house and, of course, the esteemed members of the senate and their wives.
Women were allowed to walk around the Roman Forum, but not in the Curia Julia, the senate building. Of course, the empress managed to sneak herself in - to see what was being said behind her sons' backs and what plans were being made - so it was inevitable that no one would pretend to know about it.
Today, Julia Domna managed to get herself into the Curia in the same way, but you couldn't see it because the entrance was too far away. Macrinus got out of the carriage and looked in towards you.
‘My lady, you will have to sit here for a while, you know women are-.’
‘Yes, sir, I know.’
He turned his head and squinted at something in the distance.
‘Acacius,’ he murmured.
Upon hearing his name, your heart began to race with excitement. He was the only person you desired to see at that moment. Macrinus took a step back, and the general's footsteps could be heard just outside the carriage.
"Did you bring the letter, General Acacius?" Macrinus asked.
You stuck your head out, eager to see his face. Cato was beside him, he took your letter out of his leather bag and handed it to Acacius, he handed it to you. You reached for it, and he turned his head to meet your eyes, making you realise how much you had missed him, even in such a short time.
“My Lady, I would like to return this to you.” The General was dressed differently today, in a toga worn on formal occasions. White in colour, it covered almost his entire body, with burgundy stripes around the edges. The shawl was of the same colour and pattern, the sleeves were short so you could see the thick gold bracelets on his arms, it looked perfect and neat.
“I am grateful to you for ensuring its safety,” you said quietly.
Macrinus cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should go inside now to start the session."
“Sir Macrinus, you go first.” Acacius said in a detached manner, his eyes locked on you.
“My lady,” he bowed his head, turned around and made his way towards the wide stairs of the Curia.
"Are you feeling a bit nervous?” His voice softened for you.
“A little,” you lied.
He smiled and put his hand on your cheek. “No need to be, you have nothing to worry about. It's your birthright, like every Roman. I think that's the only thing Macrinus and I agree on.”
You touched his hand on your cheek and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I know, thank you.”
He tilted his head towards you, almost close enough to touch you with his lips. “I will always be there to protect you, my beautiful lady, no matter what the outcome.” He held your eyes captive for a moment with his eyes, then pulled himself back. He looked ahead, frowning.
“They're here,” he said, squinting.
“Our Emperors!” Someone in the crowd shouted at the top of his lungs.
Your swallowed, feeling your heart began to race. Acacius stroked your hair gently, "There's no need to be so distressed. They can't do anything to you. There are very few people in the Senate who likes them. As much as I don't like him, I have to hand it to him, Macrinus knows what he's doing, almost succeeded in convincing the entire council,’ he said. 'I must go in now, Octavius will accompany you in,' he said, kissing your hand for the last time before leaving. You inhaled deeply while holding the letter in your hand tightly, praying to all the Gods.
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Curia Julia…
All councillors were present and awaiting the commencement of the session, with the oldest councillor taking the lead in opening the meeting. The murmurs of the members of the Senate reverberated gently off the walls of the Curia's spacious, high-ceilinged meeting hall. When their names were announced a little later, all the congressmen stood up and showed their greeting as the Emperors entered the hall from the great hall, albeit somewhat reluctantly. They took their seats in the western corner of the round hall, their attire differing from that of the members of the senate in that it was rather more ostentatious and therefore perhaps less appropriate.
The longest-serving member of the council approached the emperors and stood on the ledge in the centre of the hall to offer them his greetings. He surveyed the room with a gesture that seemed to convey a desire to embrace everyone. “What an auspicious day. Many gave their lives so that we could stand here once more, for the sake of an empire, a government with laws.”
All the members applauded him, except the emperors, who seemed bored already. Acacius was in the lowest tribune and sat quite close to them. Many were surprised to see him at the meeting today; he rarely attended, and no one even knew he voted in the elections.
“In honouring them, I would like to mention that we must pay our respects in your presence to General Marcus Justus Acacius, commander of the southern armies, General of the Legio III Augusta and protector of Rome.” he said, raising his hand and pointing to him. “He demonstrated remarkable courage in defending the Rome and is worthy of our respect and gratitude.”
The members started clapping more enthusiastically. They were all chanting the General's name together. Acacius stood up to show his appreciation and then sat back down.
“Senate is now in session. I invite Sir Macrinus here to make his speech.”
As oldest member approached the tribune to take his seat, Macrinus rose from his seat, came to the centre and greeted the emperors and members.
“Your Majesties, esteemed council members. The reason we are gathered here today is not a matter of government or politics. It is a matter concerning our former emperor, Emperor Septimius Severus and his family.” As he extended his hand towards Emperors, Geta turned curiously to Caracalla.
“What is he saying, brother?” he whispered.
Caracalla answered without looking at him. “Patience brother, you’ll understand soon enough.”
“So you knew?”
He did not answer, which made Geta angry and curious.
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By the time Octavius came to get you from the carriage, you were pretty bored sitting inside.
“My lady, it's time.”
You nodded and got out of the carriage with his help, taking a quick look around as you walked together through the crowd. The gladiator fights had taken a break, and people were discussing what was happening in the Curia. One of the trials was underway. A man and a woman were crying, as if they had been convicted of some crime you didn't understand. As you made your way up the stairs of the Curia, one after the other behind Octavius, one of the guards at the entrance blocked your path with an outstretched hand. Octavius brushed his arm away with the back of his hand.
"She is no ordinary woman, and the council members are waiting for her."
"Forgive me," he said, stepping back to allow you to pass.
You and Octavius entered a large hall and proceeded between tall, imposing white pillars. After a short while, you heard the voices of several men. Was there a disagreement in the council? Octavius stood near two large, thick pillars and looked in the direction of the sound, raising his hand towards you. "Perhaps we should wait a moment."
As the big iron door swung open, you could hear the voices inside a bit better.
"Are you saying that our sister is alive?"
It was Geta's voice, sounding angry. "Where has she been all this time?"
"As I said, Your Majesty, your sister was sent to Egypt on your father's orders. She wasn't there when I went to find her, but she is here now. Your sister is waiting outside with the letter your father, the Emperor, wrote to her. Shall I bring her here now?"
Macrinus' voice was loud but persuasive.
“Yes, the council wants to see her!” Someone else's voice was louder than his.
The voices that rose and echoed in the great hall were positive, a flicker of nervousness swept through you. Soon, Macrinus appeared in the doorway.
“My lady, remove your cloak, please.”
You did as he said, Octavius held it for you, and you felt a little reassured that he was there.
Macrinus accompanied you into the meeting room, his demeanor somewhat less reassuring than you had hoped. “Walk with a little more confidence, my lady, you will soon be declared 'filia regis’ (princess).”
His confident face was only working in his favor. It had nothing to do with you. You were trying to look ahead as you descended the stairs one by one, the councillors began to murmur, you didn't feel ready to look at them, and soon you heard Caracalla's hysterical laughter, you were startled and looked in the direction of the sound.
He pointed his finger at you. “You! It must be a lame joke!”
Geta was silent, only his eyes locked on you, leaning forward and marveling under his eyebrows. Caracalla stormed out of his seat and came over to Macrinus.
“What does this mean?”
“You told me my sister was coming, but you forgot to tell me who she was?” he scolded him in a low voice.
“It's pure coincidence that you've met her before, Highness.”
He then looked in the direction where the general was sitting, and you had the opportunity to observe him and the others. All the members were dressed in white togas, similar to the general, but with black embroidery around the edges of their clothes. It was a large hall filled with men, and it was somewhat awkward and uncomfortable to be in the middle of them as the only woman.
"She resembles her mother," one individual posited.
“Indeed, she is an exact match, both physically and genetically," another concurred. “Just like in the records.”
A multitude of voices were present, yet your attention was directed towards Caracalla, who directed a finger at the general.
"For how long have you been aware of this, General Acacius?”
“He didn’t know!”
As your voice echoed through the vast hall with a ringing effect among all the male voices, the other voices gradually faded and Caracalla turned to look at you. Then you handed him the letter.
“I got the chance to open it on the day of the ceremony. That's when I found out everything. General Acacius had no idea.”
This time you said it looking at all the council members as your eyes met Acacius. He was staring at Caracalla, looking a bit angry. Geta arose from his seat and approached Caracalla. He took the letter from his hand and read it over, then looked at you.
“Why didn't you say anything that day?”
"I was planning to," you replied. "I was uncertain of your reaction and what you would do," your eyes shifted to Caracalla. Another councillor approached and examined the letter.
“This is the seal of Emperor Septimius Severus,” he said, looking at the other members. Caracalla grasped the letter and held it up. “But a broken seal and a piece of paper which doesn't prove anything.” Geta reached out to take it from him, but he pushed him away with his elbow, tore the letter into pieces and threw it on the floor.
You were filled with anger. "That was the last thing left of my father," your voice was higher than you would have cared to have it be.
Macrinus interjected, "Your Majesty, while I understand your concerns, I believe it would be beneficial to hear the rest of the speech before making a decision.”
“I want to hear it.” Geta sat back in his seat.
Caracalla nodded and reluctantly joined him.
You clenched your fists, looking at the pieces of the letter on the floor, some of them scattered on your sandals. It was hard not to cry, your father's seal lying on the ground like something worthless. How could he be so cruel?
"Sir Macrinus, if I might be so bold, I would like to say a few words before you speak," said the oldest member of the council.
As he stood up and came to stand beside you, the room fell silent. "I was fortunate to have the opportunity to meet Lady Aurelia before she disappeared," he said, looking at you. "Her eyes and hair are similar, and her face has retained a remarkable resemblance. The emperor Septimius affectionately titled to her as 'Aurelia' due to her blonde hair. I am the one who made it official, and I have my signature and seal included in the record book. It is an honor to see you again, Lady Aurelia.” He bowed his head.
"I am truly grateful for your kind assistance, sir.” Your voice broke.
The crowd began to murmur again, with only a few objecting. The general was looking at you with a soft expression, and you smiled back, though you quickly turned your head away to avoid being noticed. Macrinus thanked the elderly member, waited for him to take his seat, and then he turned to the council members.
"I was fortunate to be able to visit Egypt four years ago at the Emperor's request. I went in search of the lady Aurealia, who was residing with Vicius, Septimius' personal medicus. I had a brief encounter with her, but it seemed that she was still unaware of the truth about herself. Vicius was of the opinion that the Emperor had not sent me. Perhaps he considered himself to be more closely aligned with the Emperor than I was. I am still curious as to what the Emperor may have promised him,” he said sarcastically.
“He did a good job of hiding her,” Caracalla said, teasingly.
The crowd found his behaviour amusing and laughter echoed through the great hall. Geta joined in with the laughter. The mood in the hall started to lighten, but you frowned. It wasn't right to disrespect his memory.
“Sir Macrinus, you mentioned seeing the lady Aurelia around four years ago, which is around the time we lost Septimius Severus.” One of the councillors said.
“I know what you're implying, but I've always had the trust of our emperors since they ascended to the throne. I couldn't bring your sister because I returned here as soon as I heard the news of Septimius Severus' death.” He said, looking at him and then back to the emperors. “He gave me a task before he died and told me to get it done. But I'm not the only one. There's someone else he assigned. With your permission, I call consul ordinarius Gaius Septimius Severus Aper here.”
Once more, the great hall was filled with murmuring. Macrinus turned towards you. “Your cousin,” he explained. You raised your eyebrows in surprise.
“I hate him,” Caracalla growled. Geta didn't seem to like him either.
A moment later, Gaius entered the great hall with another letter in his hand, greeted everyone and came over to you. He appeared to be in his thirties, well built but not soldierly, with an attractive but stern face.
“Lady Aurelia, we meet at last,” he said, smiling at you. You nodded, but didn't have anything to say, and were pretty surprised.
“Another letter?” Geta enquired.
“It seems our father has written letters to everyone but us,” Caracalla said, making a face.
They stood up and gave their cousins the kind of hug that was pretty clearly insincere. It was obvious that they didn't get along. Gaius held the letter up for everyone to see.
“I was with my uncle when he wrote this letter, he sealed it in my presence.” Gaius said.
“Before or after you fled to Leptis Magna?” Caracalla asked. Geta burst out laughing.
He ignored them and spoke to the council instead. "Members of the Senate, I break the seal in your presence," he said, and broke the seal of the letter that the father had sealed himself and opened it.
Macrinus asked permission to take the letter and summarised it for the council members.
“It seems that our Emperor has directed Gaius to ensure that upon the eventual return of Lady Aurelia, she will be duly restored to her full birth rights. That makes two of us sir Gaius.” Macrinus and him exchanged looks that made you sure they talked about his before.
“I am privileged to be able to convey greetings from your relatives in Leptis Magna to you. The entire Severan Dynasty salutes you, my lady,” Gaius said, bowing to you. “And of course you, our emperors,” he bowed to them, as a reply Caracalla turned his head in disgust.
Oldest member of council came towards you again with few members beside him.
‘Then, before our emperors and your esteemed councillors, I extend an invitation to all to welcome our filia regis princess Septimia Aurelia Marciana, first of the name, daughter of Emperor Caesar Lucius Septimius Severus Pertinax Augustus and his first wife Paccia Marciana, patroness of Leptis Magna back to her home.” He sang out.
"A very warm welcome back to Lady Aurelia!" someone stood up and said in a cheerful voice.“Welcome back, filia regis Aurelia!” another joined him.
And all the council members repeated in unison.
Geta approached you in a cheerful manner, clapping his hands. “Welcome, I embrace you as my sister," he said, kissing you on the cheek. You were somewhat startled, but you kept your composure, your cheeks blushed. "We must celebrate this," Caracalla said, kissing you on the other cheek, smiling involuntarily. You forced a smile in return, although he still made you feel somewhat nervous.
“My brother is right, we must celebrate!”
All the members were now standing and applauding, their enthusiasm evident in the resounding applause that echoed through the great hall.
"Sir Macrinus, bring the new gladiators to the Domus Severiana tomorrow. I want new games!" Caracalla smiled with joy.
"As you wish, your majesty," he bowed his head.
"But brother, tomorrow is the festival of Saturnalia," Geta whined.
“Well? That's better, it'll add some excitement.”
While they were chatting, you scanned the room, looking for the General among all the men.
Caracalla turned to you. “As our sister, you're supposed to come with us now?”
This was something you hadn't planned. You didn't factor in the idea of living under the same roof with them. Why didn't you think of that before?
Geta stood between you and Caracalla. “Mother must be pretty shaken up, perhaps you could go and find her first, I'll accompany Aurelia, she's a bit wary of you,” he grinned at you and took your arm.
Caracalla smirked. “Fine by me.” But you could tell he was watching you two.
'Come on, sister, there's lots to do.' You were a little surprised by how fast they welcomed you, but you feel grateful somehow.
The council members were all standing and chatting, and although you wanted to go to the general in this crowd and talk to him, you had to put it out of your mind for now. Before Geta pulled you along by the arm and led you out, you looked back at Marcus for the last time and saw that he looked worried. As you descended the stairs of the Curia with Geta, cheers and applause erupted from the crowd outside.
“Emperor Geta!”
Guards surrounded you to protect you, the crowd chanting Geta's name with enthusiasm.
Geta raised his hands high and greeted them. Then he grabbed you by the wrist and raised your arm.
"People of Rome, allow me to introduce you to your filia regis, Lady Aurelia!"
You didn't expect it to happen so soon. The crowd fell silent. Caracalla came running up behind him and grabbed Geta's other arm.“Eager much, brother? We must announce at the festival tomorrow.”
After a brief period of murmuring, the crowd suddenly began clapping and shouting again. You were taken aback when Julia took your other arm. How long had she been there?
"I would like to invite you all to welcome Lady Aurelia!" she sang.
"Welcome Lady Aurelia!" someone shouted loudly and cheerfully.
“Lady Aurelia!”
Just like in the hall, the streets of the Roman Forum began to echo with your name. It was a strange feeling, a bit frightening, exciting, and proud. You weren't used to any of it, but you were born that way, a princess. It will take me a while to get used to it, you thought.
“See? They love her already,” Geta winked at Caracalla, then pushed back the hair that had fallen over your shoulder. “Smile, sister.”
For him it was easy to say, for you it was all so sudden and you would have to adjust to this new situation. As the crowd chanted your names, the general, who had been observing the proceedings from a distance, seemed somewhat displeased that Geta had managed to touch you with such ease.
He hated to see another man touches you, even if it was your half-brother.
"General Acacius, it's been a long time," Gaius came up to him.
"Sir Gaius," the general nodded. "You are correct, I had just been appointed commander of the southern armies when I arrived at Leptis Magna. It must be decades." His eyes were watching you from afar.
"I must say that you played a significant role in the success of the battle there," he said. "I believe our people are still grateful to you." He was also observing you and Geta.
"I believe you stayed there to hide the emperor's letter. I understand why you chose to stay away from the capital," the general's eyes shifted to Caracalla.
"I believe he may view me as a potential threat to the throne, as he has done in the past. However, I believe it is my duty to remain here and complete my mission," he said with conviction.
The general observed Gaius' gaze and perceived that he was focusing it on you.
"I must ensure the safety of Lady Aurelia."
"But perhaps it would be wise to ensure your own safety as well? I believe you may be in more danger than she is.”
Gaius picked up on the hint in his voice. "Sir Macrinus told me a little about your relationship with her. I'm really grateful that you protected her while I was away."
The general stayed silent and waited, obviously sensing Gaius' intentions with his man instincts.
"I'll ask the emperors for her hand in marriage. I'm sure she'll be safer in Leptis Magna. She can't be happy with them – look how uneasy she is with them.”
The general looked tense. "I wasn't aware you were a widow," he said.
"Yes, I got divorced a while ago," he replied with a smile. "I would like to remarry, as a widow, you know what I mean, I guess."
Acacius returned his smile with a disgusted expression. "Could Iask why you believe Lady Aurelia will marry you? I am merely cautioning you in advance, Sir Gaius, because I am convinced that you will be rejected." He smiled wryly at him, then turned his back on him and began to ascend the stairs.
Macrinus approached him as Gaius glared angrily after him." You were right – there is something between those two."
"Don't worry, tomorrow at the festival we'll take the first step to get rid of Acacius once and for all."
Gaius turned to him, looking angry. "How can that be? He's someone everyone respects. He's the biggest obstacle in my way."
He touched his shoulder. ”The gladiators are ready to fight, we just need Majesties’ approval tomorrow. Then Acacius will find himself in the Colosseum, and then we'll get rid of him for good. Then there will be nothing in our way, my friend." He smiled confidently.
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Palatine Hill…
As the morning sun shone on the crimson-red roofs of the Domus Severiana, the birds chirped cheerfully and flew around, their songs of joy filling the air. Yesterday was a turning point for you. Things moved pretty quickly, and it was a bit of a challenge to adjust. When you first arrived with your half-brothers last evening, it was a lot easier than you thought it would be. Julia, their mother, was pretty quiet all night, but she didn't react badly to you, which surprised you even more. e. You got the feeling that she could be pretty ruthless, even though she seemed pretty calm. The idea of living in the same house with them wasn't appealing to you. In fact, it made you feel uneasy. Geta was the only one who didn't make you nervous, but you knew he was unpredictable like his mother.
You opened your eyes in your new room and bed, looked around, and closed them again. This room was big and luxurious, much more so than your room in the general's villa. A bit too much, you thought. You pulled the silk bed sheet over your head and sighed deeply. You would give anything to open your eyes to the new day lying next to Marcus, in his arms.
You were no longer a slave, nor a Medicus, nor could you go to his villa as a commoner. It seems that even as a princess, you don't always get to choose. But you missed him so much, his strong arms around you, his sensual lips, all the memories you had in his villa.
A gentle knock at the door momentarily distracted you from your thoughts, which seemed to fade into the elegant surroundings of this splendid room.
"Please come in," you said, sitting up in bed.
A young slave girl entered the room.
"My lady, I am pleased to see you are awake," she said, her voice conveying a sense of concern.
"Is there something wrong?"
"Yes, it's about Emperor Geta."
You removed the bedclothes around you and got out of the large bed.
“What happened to him?”
“He asked me to take you to him quietly, he doesn't want the Empress to hear.”
‘Hear what?’
‘He seems a little unwell.’
‘Take me to him,’ you said quickly. You were concerned that the poison might still be present in his body.
You left your room and went into the main hall to leave your chamber. Your room was in the east corner of the other courtyard. They said, it was your mother and father’s chambers when they first married. You strode up the stairs and entered Geta's chambers. It was still early, so the room was quiet. The other slaves looked at you with concern as you approached the door of the room where you had come to heal him the last time. They greeted you and opened the door for you. You were surprised to see a couple of young slaves lying on the floor. Their bodies were naked, which made you blush with shame. It was clear that your brother Geta had a lot of fun last night. There were two girls in Geta's bed, but he was nowhere to be seen. You looked at the latrina (bathroom, toilet) door and heard a coughing sound behind. He should have been there, but you had no intention of finding him naked.
You cleared your throat and called out to him.
“Highness? Geta? Brother?”
There was a brief interlude of laughter, and then he looked up at you through the latrine door.
“I need to get used to this, a woman's voice calling me brother.”
His face was as white as marble.
"Is everything all right? You look a little pale.”
“It's because I started the damn day throwing up.”
You looked down at the wine glasses on the floor and sighed.
"You must have had a lot to drink. You're just recovered, so you need to be careful about alcohol.” As you approached the latrine door, he was coming out, you almost bumped into each other. You quickly backed away and turned around, it was a bit stuffy in there, you moved to open the big window.
Geta looked like a little boy, messy hair and all, far away from an emperor.
"Do you think it's because I didn't drink your herbal thing?" He threw himself into the armchair by the window, covered his face with his arm.
“You didn’t?" You looked at him in shock. “How could you not? You had to drink it all to get better.” You were angry.
“But it tasted like cow dung.” He whined, lifted his arm up, gave you a mocking look. “What, are you scolding me?”
You swallowed. “Your Majesty,” you said suggestively. “You must drink the concoction for your own health.”
“I can't.”
You crossed your arms. “Don't you want to get better?”
“Because of that stupid whore, she broke the bottle. That's what happens when you bring a whore from the whorehouse.”
When you heard that word, you thought of Decima. You faced the fact that you had left her behind while you were dealing with everything.
“Could you make the mixture again? It's a festival day and I want to feel good, I don't want to look unwell especially when I’m with Caracalla.” He mumbled.
“I will, but may I ask something in return?”
“Aha! You don't act like a saint anymore, huh?” He laughed. You ignored his joke, approached him.
“Please, brother, a small favor?” Perhaps it seemed to you that you were looking at him in a pleading way. But to him, it was seductive, though he didn't show that. He cleared his throat.
“Alright, what can I do for my lovely sister? What is it you want, I really wonder?”
You smiled hesitantly. “A platoon of soldiers.”
Geta opened his eyes wide, let out a hearty laugh, stood up, and then laughed again, clapping his hands. You tried to stay calm and wait patiently.
He laughed so hard that the slaves on the floor and the ones in his bed all woke up and quickly left the room.
“You know, you really are an unbelievable woman.” His childish smile spread all over his face. He let out another laugh. Then he crossed his arms. “What are you planning to do with all those soldiers? I am genuinely curious.”
“I'm going to save my friend.”
He put his hand on his chin, thinking, narrowing his eyes.
“Why don't you ask the General Acacius for help? He can do alone what a platoon of soldiers can do.”
“Because he won't like what I'm going to do,” you were sure of it.The mere thought of it made you nervous, so you had to get it done as soon as possible.
Geta laughed again. “Something Acacius wouldn't like, hmm, sounds delicious. The soldiers are at your service, sister.”
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Whore House…
In the early morning, the street where the whorehouse was located was not very crowded, even quiet. Compared to other parts of the city, it might have been the quietest place in the mornings, but not today. You had come to this street with a group of ten soldiers with a single purpose. And this time you had the power to do it. Not as Aya, but as Princess Aurelia.
Walking with confidence among the soldiers, not paying attention to the people looking at you. You paused in front of the door, and the soldiers stopped with you. You'd already told the commander what was going to happen. He nodded and kicked the door open. The soldiers scattered inside to make sure you got in safely, the last two entering with you, standing next to you, protecting you.
Juturna, the woman who owned this place, looked like she had just woken up. She was surprised to see the soldiers; her pupils were popping out of their sockets.
Then she saw you and pointed her finger at you.
“You! What the?”
The room where they were holding Decima was upstairs. You ignored Juturna's whine and headed for that room. The soldiers were waiting for you downstairs, and one of them came behind you to protect you. When you stepped in front of the room, you rushed inside. Decima was lying on the bed, her wrists still cuffed with chains. She looked a little weak and hardly looked at you. You were incredibly angry. You grabbed her chain and looked at the soldier.
“Uncuff her!”
The soldier nodded and grabbed the collar of one of the guards who had come after you.
“You heard the lady!”
The guard was frightened, he quickly uncuffed her, and Decima's bruised face lit up with a ray of hope. When she was free, she hugged you.
“Aya, but how?”
“Never mind now, let's get you out of here first.”
You grabbed her arm and led her out of the room. As you made your way downstairs, you heard Juturna's cries.
“Lady you can't do this!” she lunged towards you, but one of the soldiers pushed her back.
“Pay her compensation,” you ordered one of the soldiers. He handed her the pouch full of coins.
“This girl is now my slave, send the necessary papers to the Domus Severiana, and if you have any objections, try the Emperor Geta.”
She swallowed hard, knowing full well that she'd never want to contradict him. You smiled triumphantly as you and Decima walked out of there with the soldiers behind you. Then you stopped suddenly when you saw the general standing next to your carriage.
When did he come?
You led Decima inside the carriage and looked at him. He'd called the commander of the troops to him and was talking to him. He punched him on the chest, but not so hard. Was he scolding him?
As you approached him, the soldier was coming towards you, rubbing his chest where General had hit him.
“The General says we're done here, my lady, if you'll excuse me.” he bowed his head.
“The General is right, you can go,” you said, looking at General.
“You really do whatever you set your mind to, you are so stubborn, my lady.” He muttered.
“How do you know I was here?”
Acacius crossed his arms and squinted at you. “I am the General, remember? All the soldiers in this city are under my command.”
"I see. I understand why you might be upset with me for not asking for help. I thought you could stop me from coming here, so I asked Geta for help."
"I can see that you and your brother Geta are close. I believe he asked you for something in return?”
"I promised to make the herbal concoction to heal him."
"I'd like to hear the real answer."
He smiled, but his eyes were sharp. It was impossible to lie to those eyes.
"Perhaps I told him you wouldn't like it," you said, biting your lower lip.
“This is the answer I'm looking for.”
“I didn’t want you to upset, I’m sorry.”
“It's not something you should be sorry about,” he said, looking at the carriage behind you. “You did it for your friend, I understand.”
Her eyes softened, and he was smiling once more, which prompted you to return his smile.
“I miss you,” you said in a low tone.
"I miss you more, my lady. "There are memories of you all over the villa. Facing those memories makes me sorrowful." His brown eyes were warm. "I find I miss you more when I'm in my room. There are so many reminders of you there," he said, his lips curving in a mischievous smile. He leaned his head towards you, close to your ear. "Especially in my bed." You gasped as his warm breath hit your face, your heart racing.
You almost forgot you were in the middle of the street. You were ready to throw yourself into his arms. You pulled yourself together with his giggling, he must have been amused by your facial expression. You jokingly nudged his muscled arm with your elbow.
"You're pretty shameless, General. Seducing me right here in the middle of the street.”
“Apologies, my lady,” he said, laughing.
"Are you coming to the festival today?”
“Yes, I've been invited and I would like to take this opportunity to talk with the emperors.”
You heard the hint in his voice, but you didn't understand it. His grin made you even more curious. He never smiled when he talked about emperors, so this was weird.
‘What are you going to talk to them about, I wonder?’
Acacius held your hand and looked into your eyes. "If it pleases you, my lady, I will tell them I ask your hand in marriage."
You froze and opened your eyes wide, unsure if you had heard correctly. Acacius smiled and kissed your hand.
“You can give me your answer after the festival. You might want to head out now, as preparations are about to get underway.” He put his arm around you and pulled you towards the carriage.
You looked at him before getting in, “I'll be waiting for you there, Marcus.”
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𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 - 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆
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desc. │ ʟᴇᴇ ʜᴇᴇꜱᴇᴜɴɢ ᴡᴀꜱ ʟᴏꜱᴛ. ʜɪꜱ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ɢᴏ ʙʏ ɪɴ ᴀ ʙʟᴜʀ, ʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ. ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ, ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟᴛɪᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴅᴏᴍ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀʀʀᴇʟɪɴɢ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ʙᴏᴏᴋꜱᴛᴏʀᴇ ᴇɴᴄᴏᴜɴᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ʙᴏᴏᴋꜱᴛᴏʀᴇ ᴇᴍᴘʟᴏʏᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴏꜱᴇ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ꜱᴍɪʟᴇ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʜɪᴍ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ
warnings. │ ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ, ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ, ꜱᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ, ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛ, ꜱᴜʙꜱᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ, ᴘʜʏꜱɪᴄᴀʟ ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ. 12.6ᴋ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ
The air in this god forsaken building was suffocating. Heeseung struggled to right his mind as he drowned out the sounds of his manager going on and on about tour business, something he admittedly should be listening to but instead his mind wandered to unforeseen places. He thought of everything other than what his manager was saying. The clock on the wall ticked by in a constant, the rhythm helping to soothe Heeseung's racing thoughts. His eyes began to feel heavy, the extreme boredom getting to him. Heeseung couldn't allow himself to fall asleep. The repercussions would be dire, these are things he should be paying attention to. This is for engene after all, he needs to get it together. Telling himself all of that still didn't seem to help.
Every time he thought he could start listening or maybe contribute in some way his mind continued to wander. The most random of things popped into his head: what should he have for dinner? Did he turn off his bedroom light when he left the dorm today? Are his pillowcases done drying? All of these things swam around his subconscious like a never ending cycle.
A single kick to his leg brought Heeseung out of his never ending turmoil. Looking over to see Jungwon had kicked him titling his head towards the manager who was still speaking about the up coming tour schedules. He felt a sense of relief that his manager had not yet noticed that he was spacing out. He nodded at Jungwon, an affirmation that he would be listening from here on out.
"The U.S tour will be lengthy so get all your affairs in order before then.." His manager drowned on. The meeting would go on like that for the whole of another three hours. Heeseung's head felt heavy when The manager had finally left the room, leaving the seven Enhypen members alone to dwell on what was to come in this upcoming tour.
"Hee, man are you good? you spaced out for awhile there" Jake said, crossing his hands behind his head in a relaxed pose. Heeseung envied Jake's inability to let idol life stress him out. He had spent far too long letting the boulder sized ball of anxiety take over his life that he couldn't even imagine for a second what it felt like to let everything go, to not stress about getting choreography right, or not messing his lines up. The weight of his own expectations of himself crushing him every waking moment. "Yeah sorry guys, didn't sleep well last night " Which wasn't a total lie, Heeseung really hadn't slept well. The only thing he didn't mention is that not sleeping well was a nightly occurrence, it was the normal in Heeseung's life. His fellow members did not need to know that though. They didn't need to know that their Hyung was falling apart at the seems. That sometimes he felt like giving up idol life and moving across country to live a quiet life alone.
He couldn't tell them that, he didn't want them to worry about him. Even more he didn't want them to think him ungrateful. This opportunity that he had was special, it was something to call home about. He should be proud, he should be happy. Instead he felt trapped, how dare he? There he sat in a conference room, in HYBE. one of the most sought after labels in all of Korea and here he was wishing for a normal life, with no fame, no fortune, no Engene. He felt guilty, he felt sick to his stomach. He didn't deserve what he had here.
That was a hard pill to swallow, a hard realization that he had to face. It was way too embarrassing to admit to his fellow members. He couldn't let them down by being ungrateful for his blessings, no he wouldn't do that to them. So, he was forced to choke down these feelings and continue to sing, dance his way through life even if getting up on most days was the hardest thing he had to do.
"We're going to all get dinner then head back to the dorm's you down?" Jay asked, breaking Heeseungs endless thoughts on how much of a screw up he was. Heeseing shook his head, fixing his hair under his hat. "I think I'm going to take a walk, clear my head. You guys go ahead I'll pick up something for myself on the way back. I'm not sure how long I'll be" They all nodded, rising fromm their seats, whisking out of the room not before leaving a pat on Heeseungs back as a goodbye.
Once the room was cleared Heeseung released a sigh, his head falling to hang between his legs. Heeseung allowed himself a total of three minutes to wallow in his self pity before he too left the room in a blur.
LATER
Heeseung roamed the streets of seoul, the wind blistering his face as he continued to walk along the semi-crowded sidewalk. His face-mask was pulled high over his mouth and nose. The hood to his sweater pulled over his beanie covered head. He felt secluded enough not to be seen. He had just wanted to take a walk like a normal person with no chance of getting recognized and heckled on the street. He had been walking for about forty-five minutes now undisturbed. He felt confident that no one had seemed to know he was Heeseung from Enhypen. He was grateful for that short time of normalcy. It was uncommon nowadays. He only had a small amount of privacy everyday, in small spaces like the bathroom at the dorm or when he was alone in a conference room he would sneak into briefly when at the HYBE building for meetings. When times like this presented itself Heeseung allowed himself to appreciate it.
Of course, in true Heeseung's life fashion his small sense of normalcy had to be disturbed. It came in a hushed whisper at first, Heeseung's ears perking up as soon as he heard, "Is that Heeseung from Enhypen?" He scolded himself for being too stupid to think one of his engene wouldn't recognize him. Even in an outfit he thought was stealthy enough to get him through the crowded streets of Seoul unnoticed. It progressed in a few giggles then steady footsteps following behind him. He cursed himself for leaving without security or not telling anyone where exactly he was going. "Excuse me?" A girlish voice said behind him, followed by a few giggles. "Are you Lee Heeseung?" he ignored the question, his footsteps growing quicker hopefully signaling to the group of teenage girls that he wanted to be left alone. That of course didn't work. The quicker his footsteps became the quicker the girls did. Soon he felt himself sprinting towards a random path. Trying to find anyway to get away from the forming crowd of girls and their fan-girling.
Heeseung made his way around a corner, the sound of the rushed footsteps behind him being his only driving fuel to get away. He continued down the street, spotting a small alleyway not too far in the distance. He was far enough away that he could split down the alley and hopefully lose the crowd of giggling girls behind him. His blood pumped to his chest as he continued on down, not sprinting down the alley until the very last second. He found the door of a small unknown business wide open, it looked empty void of any customers or any person that could possibly recognize him. Good, he could hide in here until the crowd of girls died down and he was safe enough to make a run for the HYBE building.
He entered the small store quickly making his way behind a huge section of bookshelves lined with rows and rows of books that would make him invisible to the outside looking in. This was perfect he could hide in here while the crowd outside dispersed. He held onto the bookshelf his breath coming out in small pants. Heeseung rested his head against a row of books finally able to level out his breathing enough to calm his rapidly beating heart. When his heart had finally settled down he took a peak around the shelf to look outside of the ajar bookstore door.
Voices still echoed outside in the alley. Distant shouts of "Have you seen him?' "Where did he go" still being heard from outside. Heeseung took the time to turn, sitting himself on the floor leaning against the huge shelf. He brought his knees to his chest, his head spinning from finally settling down. He couldn't believe how stupid he was, to even think for a second that he could go for a walk outside to clear his head like any other person. Nothing was ever that simple and to the outside world he wasn't just a person. He was the king's jester so to speak. He was entertainment to all of the people around him, his privacy meant nothing to them. He was here only to give them pieces of himself. Days like this made him hate idol life. Something he used to cherish more than anything else.
Heeseung looked around at his surroundings. He had already gathered that he was in a bookstore but finally he was able to really look around. It was a small cozy shop that he definitely has never seen before. He wasn't much of a reader so things like bookstores weren't really on his radar when looking for things to do and places to go during his off days. The bookstore was cute. it had its normal rows and rows of bookshelves filled with books of all different genres. It had an old smell, it didn't smell bad just old. This bookstore felt loved.
Heeseung turned slightly to see a smaller sized grand piano in the corner of the tiny shop. It had taken up a big portion of the small shop. The piano was beautiful. The black paint was chipped on it. The black on the keys semi faded, someone had loved it, took care of it, used it often. Heeseing smiled softly at the thought of someone sitting here day and night playing the piano softly as people browsed the store looking for the most perfect book to indulge in.
The thought brought Heeseung a sense of peace. Peace that quickly transformed itself into envy. He bet that whoever ran this shop enjoyed the small things in life. They didn't have to run from groups of teenage girls on the street, they didn't have to work six days a week preparing shows and exhausting themselves all for the pleasure of someone else. No, this person definitely played piano, read and talked about perfect stories all day, enjoying their perfect life. Heeseungs mood turned even sour at the thought. He rose from his spot on the floor peaking over the shelf one more time to see if he could spot anyone still lingering near by.
He wasn't able to look for long before the sound of a soft voice broke him from any concentration he had. "Sir, do you need any help?" He jumped in his skin. Turning around quickly, coming face to face with a girl. Her head was titled, a perplexed looked on her face. "Are you...hiding?" Heeseung assumed that she had not yet pieced together who it was she was talking to. He wished for just a second he could pause time, not wanting to have to face this girl who will in no time recognize who he is, ruining all the hiding he just did. She'll alert the girls that still lingered in the alley and they'll run here in an instant.
"Shh" He said quietly, putting his finger to his face mask just over his lips. "Are you sushin-" The girl started to say, Heeseungs eyes widened. Waving his hands in front of himself "Please don't tell them I'm here!" He rushed the words out. The girl quirked an eyebrow at him, confusion written all over her face. "Who..." She drawled out. She pointed around the empty shop "There is no one here, sir" Heeseung let it register in his mind that this was the second time she had called him Sir. Maybe she didn't have any idea who he was. It was probably wishful thinking but the idea calmed him down just a bit. The panic quickly set in, if she didn't know who he was then he definitely looked like a crazy person to her. "I'm..sorry" he let out. "I was just leaving"
"Are you in need of help?" The girl asked, her voice like honey. Heeseung could tell for sure now that this girl had no idea who he was, he wasn't certain if that was because of his mask, hoodie and hat or if this girl just really didn't pay attention to media, either way he would take either one over the screaming girls he encountered just minutes prior. "No, no I'm alright. Thank you for your time" He quickly bowed, sending her a small smile he knew she couldn't see due to the mask then rushed out of the small secluded bookstore in a hurry.
LATER
Another day, another what seemed like endless meeting. Enhypen's team was in full tour planning mode. Nonstop were they talking about schedules, music, choreography and stops for upcoming shows. It was a loop of responsibilities that didn't have an end. Heeseung felt like a puppet, like an inanimate being, being controlled by a higher power for the entertainment of someone else. Heeseung didn't feel real, everyday he was loosing himself to the void of life. He felt robotic whenever he responded to his team and managements questions.
His day to day life was set to auto and he did only what he was told, said only what he was told. The only thought that belonged to him was the when he was thinking about the bookstore and the girl who worked in it. When did life get so bleak that he started to envy someone who lived such a simple life. He's only ever known wanting what he has In this moment and now here he is, wishing for everything but. Heeseung thought of the old warn out piano that sat in the corner of that run down bookstore, how loved the beautiful instrument was, how he found himself longing to go back, sit on the bench and press the keys one by one.
He was truly taken aback how that girl really didn't recognize who he was. Heeseing wasn't cocky, or self absorbed at all, he just wasn't dumb. He knew how popular Enhypen was, practically every young girl knew who he was, so when he finds a strange girl around his age that doesn't know who he is, while that's rare. It made him want to go back to talk to her. He longed for conversation with someone who didn't want something out of him. Sure he could talk to the other members but it wasn't the same. He wanted to talk to someone who didn't know him, didn't know what he did everyday. He wanted a clean slate. Heeseung debated risking it all and going back to the bookstore, just of a glimpse of that normalcy just once again.
He and the other members would be flying to Japan tomorrow, any chance of going back to the bookstore was shot. Heeseung knew what his priorities needed to be and no matter how much he wished to go back he knew he couldn't. Not yet at least.
"In Japan we need everyone on their A game, no distractions. We have a lot prepared. These shows need to be perfect." The Manager said to the group of seven boys sitting at the conference room table. "There will be a line of interviews ready too. We expect you to use your media training wisely.."
Heeseung found himself once again tuning out the team. Thinking of the bookstore and surprisingly of the girl whose name he didn't even know. He knew once he was back from Japan, the first thing he would do is find out.
IN JAPAN
Heeseung always thought Japan was beautiful, from its bustling businesses to its delicious food and fashionable people roaming the busy streets visiting all the shops Japan had to offer. It used to be one of his favorite things traveling to Japan with the rest of the enhypen members. Today, he didn't feel that way. Today Heeseung felt that finding joy even in such a beautiful country was elusive.
All the members were due to be at in interview in under an hour. Heeseung, of course had a hard time concentrating on business, his mind elsewhere like it was often nowadays. He had to remind himself several times this morning to get it together, to concentrate for at least a few hours and get through these first round of interviews. Heeseung was worried that he would alert the other members of his void of emotion, he had to do some serious acting in order to get them off his back. A task he knew would be difficult since they knew him pretty well. They knew when he wasn't all the way there.
Heeseung was naive, he knew that the members were aware of his quarter life crisis, he just prayed that they would hold off on confronting him. He would get his act together soon right? This over whelming self doubt surely wasn't going to last too much longer. Right? He did his best in reassuring himself.
Heeseung shook the thought away readying himself for the interview he was currently getting his hair and makeup done for. The manager was prepping them on things they might be asked and the proper ways to answer them. Most often then not interviews went smoothly for Enhypen. Personal questions weren't really asked too often. Which Heeseung was incredibly grateful for. The boy didn't feel like talking about himself right now. He was hopeful that most the questions were about the group as a whole and not so much about them individually.
Finally after what felt like forever, The boys were called over to take their places on the stools set up for them. Soon enough after they got comfortable the interview was in full swing.
"The hints for this up coming comeback seem very different then anything else you guys have ever released. Would you say this is definitely a different vibe than what your fans are used to?" The interviewer asked, adjusting his tie Jay cleared his throat and nodded his head "I would say its different, I think this comeback is a lot more personal to who were are as people, its not so much about the vampire concept were all used to." Jungwon nodded along with Jay. "We feel more human in this comeback if that makes sense?" The interviewer chuckled nodding his head along with what Jungwon was saying.
Heeseung looked at the interviewer his eyes narrowing at the cue card he had in his hand, he read the text on the top of it. His mind drifted to a magazine that he had briefly seen at the small bookstore he visited the other day. It had the same print on the cover.
Heeseung assumed it was one of their magazines. He found himself lost in thought of the bookstore once again, would this company publish the magazine with a feature of Enhypen in it? Heeseung hoped not, for some odd reason he liked that bookstore girl had no idea who he was and he wanted to keep it that way. What if he decided to go back and she recognized him? He dreaded that feeling. Although small and rundown, Heeseung was starting to look forward to going back and acting like someone normal. He wanted that tiny bookstore to be his getaway from all the fame and the immense pressures of Idol life.
"Heeseung!" A sharp voice broke him from his thoughts, he glanced at Jungwon who had a furrowed brow quirked in his direction. "I'm sorry, say that again?" Heeseung stuttered out looking around the room at all the eyes now on him. One set of eyes stuck out to him more then the others, His manager looked more angry then he's every seen him before. All chances Heeseung had at hiding what was going on in his raging mind was gone. He'd been caught and he knew for certain there would be hell to pay once leaving the interview.
--
Heeseung was right, there was hell to pay and he was paying it right now. In this small room at the hotel. The room was filled with all seven Enhypen members, Enhypen's management and some of their staff. All eyes were on him as he hung his head low, the embarrassment from today's interviewing consuming his entire body.
"We have dealt with your spacing out for far too long. It's been unnoticed thus far until you went and embarrassed us all with it today. What were you thinking?!" Heeseung had no words, what could he say? He messed up. He let his resolve down. He was failing at covering up his inner turmoil. "Honestly Heeseung are you okay? You haven't been the same for weeks" Sunoo murmured sitting down next to Heeseung resting his arm on the older boys shoulders.
"My head just hurts" Heeseung mumbled trying to find the right words to get them off his back. He wasn't very sure that he could talk his way out of this one though, everyone in this room knew he was lying. It was not a simple headache that made Heeseung mess up today.
"That's an unacceptable response. You need to get your act together or the consequences will be dire. You will do damage control tomorrow with the interview we have first thing in the morning, do I make myself clear?" Heeseung nodded to the manager. "Yes" he said lowly, his head still hanging down in embarrassment. He couldn't bring himself to look at all the people he had let down today.
The staff and Management walked out without another word, leaving all seven boys to deal with the aftermath of the serious conversation that just took place.
"Heeseung.." Sunoo whispered into the quiet, awkward room "Let us help-"
"I'm fine." Heeseung spoke firmly cutting Sunoo off. "I'll get it together ok?" He looked around at the six boys, their worried expressions making his heart sink to his stomach. This is what he wanted to avoid the most. The longing looks of pity from the people closest to him. He couldn't burden them any longer with this.
Heeseung rose from his seat and walked out the door without so much as a single glance at the remaining members in the room.
BACK IN SEOUL
Heeseung did the damage control he needed to do the day after the disastrous interview like he was supposed to do. The rest of the Japan tour went without a hitch. The members and management seemed satisfied with Heeseungs act. The boy felt as if he could breathe after getting everyone off his back and he intended to keep it that way.
All the boys have been back from the Japan tour for a week now and with such a busy schedule Heeseung was unable to return to the bookstore yet. While on break from filming an en oclock episode today Heeseung took it upon himself to search all the bookstores in the area searching for the name of the old bookstore he was trapped in. He found it after a lengthy look on the internet, all the well known bookstores over shadowing the one he was looking for in particular.
When he had finally found it he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at the name. Its simplicity had made Heeseung feel oddly calm. The little bookstore that had been plaguing His mind for the past month had been named "Bound" What a sweet, simple name. He loved it, and today he was determined to visit Bound and find the nameless bookeeper who had equally plagued his mind.
That's exactly what he did as soon as the en o'clock episode had been wrapped for the day. Heeseung suited up in his face mask, beanie and hoodie and made his way to the bookstore as stealthily as he could. Fearsome of getting caught once again Heeseung hurried along. When he had finally reached Bound he was relieved to find the door was closed today and not propped open like it had been the day he had hid in there.
The door made a chime as he entered the small store, the smell of old books greeted him, he was never more happy to smell it before this. He took a look at the magazine rack that he remembered looking at when he was in here for the first time. Luckily the issues hadn't changed, they weren't updated to the ones that Heeseung and the rest of Enhypen were on. His breathe of relief left quickly, his shoulders relaxing slightly.
"You're back" A voice said from behind him. The boy turned to look at the same girl he had been thinking about for the past month. "I am" he said smiling at her. "Anyone following you today or are you stalker free?" The girl teased, grabbing books from a massive cart next to her and adding said books to the shelf in neat rows.
"Yeah sorry about that" Heeseung winced "sometimes I'm a little paranoid." He played it off, not trying to give too much away about his life but also trying not to look like a complete crazy person at the same time.
"No problem" The girl hummed. "Are you here for a specific book today?" She continued to add books to the row, switching some around as needed. She looked completely comfortable. Moving around the shop like she was floating, her movements so effortless as if this life hasn't tainted her at all. She moved like someone who was content, who had loved what she was doing and didn't intend on stopping anytime soon.
The same envy Heeseung had felt looking at the worn out piano the first time he was here was back but instead it was directed at a person he believed had used that same piano. "I'm not sure.." Heeseung trailed off "I'm not much of a reader" he remarked looking around the shop at various books. It was suddenly becoming overwhelming how much reading material there was out there.
"That's ok!" The girl said excitedly "I love helping people find their preferred genre. What are you into?" She jumped a bit in place, the excitement clear on her pretty face. It made Heeseung feel fuzzy, not used to such an energetic person this close to him. It was dizzying looking at her, his mind went blank. What did he like? That was a question he couldn't even answer. He must look so lame to this girl, who was probably just trying to do her job.
"I-i don't know" Heeseung admitted sheepishly "I like playing games?" He said unsure. How stupid was he; games really? What could that possibly have to do with books.
"Okay" She smiled at him "That's a start. There are a lot of books with games or even books that take place in video games. How cool is that?" This girls energy made Heeseung a bit uneasy in a way that wasn't familiar to him. It wasn't a bad uneasy feeling though. He felt drawn to her, like she was a light that he needed in such a bleak and dreary life he had been living recently. He had known this girl for such a short time but the pull he felt to her was as compelling as it was scary. This girl was a mystery wrapped in a big pink bow. So effortlessly bright and shiny. He needed to know her name, he needed to know her.
"What's your name?" he blurted out, completely abandoning the topic of books and taking a leap at formalities right away. Heeseung realized that he could possibly be scaring this girl away, but the overwhelming feeling to get as much information about her was all too consuming that he found himself not caring much.
"Y/n" The girl sheepishly replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yours?" Heeseung felt struck. She really really didn't know who he was. That excited him. "Heeseung" he replied. "It's nice to meet you" She quirked her head to the side, the smile on her face widening a little bit. "Why are you in a bookstore if you don't read?"
The question caught him off guard, he didn't know how to answer it. How could he. He didn't want to tell her he came to talk to her or that he had came because this was the one place he felt normal in. He just shrugged in response "Looking for new hobbies and what not.." He started to walk around her grazing his fingertips against the various books. The shop was small enough that he could walk a little ways away and still be able to talk to her directly. That and the fact that it was completely empty in here save for Y/n and himself.
"oh- I see" She teased nodding her head "You're pretentious."
Heeeseung started to nod "Yes I- wait no" He looked over at her in bewilderment. A grin graced her face stretching her smile wide. She was teasing him and he loved it. "I'm just taking up a new hobby that's all" He continued to walk around, stopping at the piano. He placed his fingers over the keys, slightly running his fingertips over the various keys imagining what notes he would play for what songs. Y/n trailed behind him slightly, Watching him in keen interest.
"Do you play?" she asked setting a book she had in her hand down onto a random shelf. She joined him next to the piano. "A little" Heeseung admitted "Not much" Which wasn't a total lie. He played music for a living he just didn't want to go too far into the details of it.
"Do you?" he asked her. She nodded sitting down at the piano "My mom taught me when I was a little girl, I'm not so good anymore but I love the instrument it's beautiful. Especially this one even though she hasn't been played in awhile" He sat himself next to her on the bench. He made sure to keep his distance not to make her uncomfortable by being too close to her.
He pressed down on a random key, then soon he allowed his fingers to glide over the keys playing a familiar melody. He turned to look over at her, her face held a small smile. The smile struck him, she really was beautiful. He slowed his movements continuing to look at her as she watched him play the old piano beautifully. As soon as he was done playing, he felt a breath leave his lips. The nerves in his body dissipating.
"You call that only playing a little?' Y/n said, looking over at Heeseung in amazement. "That was beautiful" Heeseung bashfully looked away from her. He was slightly embarrassed with how vulnerable he had just been, with someone who was practically a stranger to him. She didn't feel much like a stranger though, and something tells Heeseung that his playing on the piano had made her feel the same way. She was smiling at him still, it rendered Heeseung paralyzed in his seat. When he looked at her a lot of things made sense, but also a lot of things didn't make sense. That didn't bother him though, cause her smile didn't need to make sense. It just needed to exist and he'd do everything he could to make sure it never went away.
This feeling was a scary one. Boy was he in trouble.
--
Over the course of a few weeks Heeseung found himself at Bound almost everyday of the week after work. Him and y/n sat at the piano, playing and talking for hours. Sometimes he would watch her put books onto shelves or organize displays while they talked about random things. He learned that Y/n loved green tea and Tteok-bokki when it was cold. She told him how she would sometimes leave the bookstores door open so the stray cats could wander in and she could feed them. They laughed about the same elderly lady who came in every Sunday night to buy a new erotica novel. He told her things about himself as well, he told her how he loved to play games on his computer late into the night even if he had to work the next morning. He told her how he hated the taste of mint chocolate ice cream but would always look for it at the store because one his best friends loved it. He told her how he loved music and sometimes he would write songs at the park in the middle of the night if he couldn't sleep.
He told her so much yet so little, because even though he wanted Y/n to know everything about him there was one thing he hoped she would never discover. He dreaded her finding out that he was an idol. He loved this thing they had going on, it felt too normal, too good. He didn't want to taint it by telling her about his tours, or his fans or his money. The little world they had built in this small shop was more than enough for him, he wouldn't risk ruining it by letting the real world creep in. So he lied. He told her he worked at a small company further into the city, that that was the reason he mainly came to see her in the evening or why he sometimes would have to go on business trips away.
He loathed lying to her but it was the only way to stay in this perfect bubble they had formed around the two of them.
Heeseung was currently finishing up recording vocals for a new song they were making. He felt antsy he wanted to finish and hurry over to Bound. He had planned to bring Y/n a green tea from a small cafe he really enjoyed that was on the way to the bookstore. Sunghoon, Jungwon, Sunoo, Ni-ki and himself sat in the small space outside of the recording booth while Jay and Jake were in the booth recording lines. His leg bounced in anticipation causing Sunghoon to look over at him.
"What's with you?" Sunghoon asked suddenly, the other boys looked up from their phones to see what Sunghoon was talking about. "What?" Heeseung said "I'm waiting till they’re done, so I can go for a walk"
"a walk?" Jungwon questioned not believing Heeseung's lie at all. "You're going on another walk? you've been on a walk every single day for the past two weeks. How many walks do you need." Heeseung looked down at his feet unable to lie straight to their faces. He couldn't possibly tell them the truth. They would absolutely ream him. They all know how bad a dating rumor would be right now. Especially after the mess Heeseung had caused in Japan. They couldn't afford more bad press. "It helps me clear my head" Heeseung spoke softy still not looking the other members in the eye.
"I hope whatever you're actually doing is worth it Hee." Ni-ki says from his place on the couch across from him "And that you're being careful." The youngest boy looked worriedly at his hyung but didn't pry any further then that.
"I am" Heeseung responded "And it is worth it."
---
Heeseung made his way to Bound, two green teas in both hands. There was a bounce in his step as he made his way to the open door. Before entering Heeseung heard a soft melodic giggle come from inside. A tightness in his chest formed at the sound. It was beautiful, he knew it came from Y/N. He could have sworn he memorized her laugh by now. The softness to it made his insides feel like mush. He walked through the door of the bookstore to be greeted by Y/n bent down petting a small orange cat. The cat was eating out of a tiny dish that looked handmade from clay and painted a pastel pink color. He could easily see the sculpted cat ears that stuck out of the top of the small dish.
The scene before him looked straight out of a rom-com when the male lead sees the cute girl for the first time doing something utterly adorable he couldn’t help but fall in love at first sight. Y/n was humming along to a song Heeseung recognized as a song they played on the piano together a few days ago. It must have been stuck in her head. The thought gave him comfort, has she been thinking about him as much as he’s been thinking about her? He really hoped so.
He laughed a little which seemed to startle the girl who was peacefully petting the cat. She whipped around facing Heeseung with a narrow to her big E/c eyes “Heeseung! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” She rose from the ground dusting off her jeans before sending Heeseung her bright signature smile.
“Is that for me?” She asked coyly pointing to the cup in Heeseungs hand. “Nah, they’re both mine” Heeseung said playfully bringing both cups closer to his body.
“Oh.” Y/n let out, a blush dusting her cheeks at the embarrassment “Sorry i assumed…-“
“I’m joking!” Heeseung laughed thrusting the cup of green tea towards her “Of course it’s for you” Y/n’s eyes widened, the blush spreading further across her face and neck. “Thank you” she whispered sipping the tea slowly. “Green tea, my favorite”
“I know it is” Heeseung boasted. He turned to the cat who was now licking the small food dish clean. “Who’s this little guy here?” He bent down petting the cat behind the ears. The Cat gratefully accepted his petting titling his head and letting out a little pur.
“This is Duck” Y/n said cheerfully “He’s a stray cat that always visits me. I feed him food everytime he stops by” She bent back down joining Heeseung in petting the cat softly. "Why Duck?" Heeseung questioned the goofy name for a cat.
"He waddles a little like a duck when he walks. It's the cutest thing ever" Y/n explained like it was the most normal thing ever. To Y/n it was probably the most normal thing ever. The stray cats were just a normal occurrence in her simple life. The envy crept back into Heeseung's thoughts, he hated himself for it. He decided to push the thoughts to the back of his mind and focused on what he came here to do.
"I can't stay too long tonight" Heeseung uttered "I have an early morning flight tomorrow" Heeseung set his half empty green tea down on the counter where they stood. "Oh" said glumly. "I hope you have a great business trip" She gave Heeseung a tight lipped smile.
The mention of a business trip made Heeseung feel queasy, the lie that hung in the air squeezed at him. He simply couldn't tell her in the truth, he would do anything to keep this serenity going. This was a special friendship he had never had before he couldn't ruin it. No matter how much it pained him to keep it from her, he would keep up the act and make her believe him to be just a normal young man with an equally as normal day job at a boring office in the city and besides was it really a lie? He didn't tell her directly that he was an office worker she simply just assumed it and he didn't correct her.
Heeseung seemed satisfied with that thought, it was not a lie just a small omission of the truth.
"I'm going to the states" He had told her as she began to walk around the store carrying books in hand readying herself to stock the shelves with various books. "Really?" she gasped in excitement "I've never been to the states i've always wanted to go!" She set a stack of books down onto a big empty table. A display in the making Heeseung assumed. "It's beautiful there, maybe one day I can take you" Y/n smiled slightly looking up at Heeseung "I'd like that"
It was simply thing to say, yet it still made Heeseung's heart pound in his chest. She could be doing the most simple things and Heeseung would feel like he couldn't breathe. "I'd like that too" He uttered softly after a while of just staring at her. "Very much" Maybe a little too much.
---
Heeseung was enjoying his day off in LA the day before the concert, the weather was nice, he had just finished a good meal and now he was taking a walk along a street filled with various stores and shops. Most of the boys were roaming around with him, going into different stores snd buying multiple things like clothes, jewelry and anything else that caught their eyes. Heeseung hadn't bought anything yet. Nothing in particular had really interested him. He really enjoyed watching the scenery.
The group continued to walk down the very bust street when suddenly Heeseung was tugged into a huge store with Sunoo. The older boy looked around noticing that the store was a bookstore called Barnes and noble. "I love this store" Sunoo beamed at Heeseung and Jungwon who had followed them.
His thoughts immediately went to bound and then to y/n. She would love this store there was no doubt about it. Heeseung started to walk around looking at the various books all in English. He found a small section in the back filled with romance books, the covers all pastel colored and bright. He noticed a book that he recognized y/n would talk about all the time. It was from an author that she wasn't able to order for the store, she always talked about how she wanted to read their books. Heeseung picked up four different books from the author and took them up to checkout to pay for them.
Jungwon joined Heeseung at checkout looking at the stack of books in confusion. "Why are you buying those?" He asked, picking one of the books up, it had a pastel pick color with various illustrations of different flowers.
"They're for me" Heeseung lied, taking the book from Jungwon's hands "This is for you?" Jungwon didn't look convinced at all. Heeseung knew that Jungwon didn't believe his lie one bit. "Yeah, I want to read...romance novels more often in my spare time" Heeseung cringed a little at the lie, but it was better then telling the truth.
Jungwon gave Heeseung a strange look but decided not to question him further.
A little later after the team had all eaten dinner and it was time to settle down for the night Heeseung opened his phone snapping a picture of the stack of books sending a message to y/n.
Heeseung: found these today I know you've been looking for them so I got a few for you.
Heeseung didn't expect a response it was currently the early morning hours In Korea. To his surprise only five minutes after he sent the message didn't he hear a ring coming from his phone, Y/n was calling him. He answered right away not be able to get a single word in before he heard her groggily say "Heeseung why did you buy me those books? How much were they? I'll pay you back!"
The boy let out a soft chuckle "You're not paying me back" was all he. said, Y/n groaned on the other end "Heeseung, you have to take them back I can't let you do that"
"I wanted to. I'm not taking them back Y/n they're for you, they weren't expensive and I know how badly you wanted them." The line was silent for a brief moment, it made Heeseung nervous. Was y/n angry with him?
"Thank you." Y/n said softly "You didn't have to do that, thank you" Her voice was soft Heeseung felt like mush at the sound of her tired voice. "Don't worry about it." was all he could muster up in response.
"Aren't you tired?" She asked him "is it late there?"
"its not too late here, how was your day yesterday did Duck come and visit again?" Heeseung struck up a conversation not ready to let y/n go just yet. Her voice was soothing him, helping him feel relaxed. "Mrs. Kang came by today to buy the most recently erotica novel we got in, she asked me once again if I had a boyfriend." Y/n laughed "I told her I had my eye on someone but that I was still single, like always"
"Interesting.." Heeseung said jokingly "You've got your eye on someone huh?"
"Maybe.." The girl trailed off "He'll have to meet Duck's friends Maple and Ivy, he needs their approval." Heeseung let out a little laugh "I guess he'll have to arrange that soon."
"very soon if possible."
----
BACK IN SEOUL
Heeseung hadn't been back for even a whole day before he was setting out to see Y/n at Bound. He had his signature face ask, beanie and hoodie on walking along the streets ambiguously, a slight pep in his step at the thought of seeing Y/n after being on tour in the states for nearly a month. Him and Y/n talked everyday but it simply didn't compare to being in the small shop together, playing the piano and enjoying the company of each other. To say Heeseung was excited would be an understatement.
As Heeseung was nearing the door to Bound a sound had him stopping in his tracks, the piano was playing softly. It was a song he was sure he's never heard. before. He peaked his. head into the store. being careful to not be heard. Y/n sat with her back to the door, on the bench to the piano. Her fingers glided over the keys effortlessly as she played one of the most beautiful melodies Heeseung has ever. heard before. He watched from afar as she continued, pressing the keys down with such delicacy it made Heeseungs head spin.
She truly was a sight for sore eyes, he was mesmerized. Heeseung decided that this is something he wished to see forever, that this image no matter what happens from this day going forward would be something he would think about for the rest of his life. It was the first time he ever felt a love so deep for someone it was suffocating. He had known y/n only a short time but in that short time she managed to consume his entire being. His days consisted of thinking of her and only her.
The music started to fade out, the song ending. Heeseung didn't want It to end, he wanted her to play forever.
Once the music had ended Heeseung had heard Y/n let out a shaky breathe. She was crying, the small sniffle leaving her being another indication of that. Heeseung rushed her side, sitting down in the seat beside her on the bench. "are you okay?" he rushed out worriedly. Y/n jumped in her seat. Heeseung had scared her, she hurriedly wiped her face trying to rid the tears from her eyes that traveled down her cheeks.
"You scared me!" The girl exclaimed, resting a palm to her chest.
"I'm sorry" Heeseung said apologetically "Why are you crying" He repeated. Y/n just smiled "I wasn't crying" She let out an awkward laugh but Heeseung found nothing funny. He needed to know what was bothering her, he needed to know how he could fix it.
"Y/n." He said sternly "Are you okay?" Y/n looked down unable to meet Heeseungs eyes. "Today is December 12th" Heeseung was confused. He knew it was December 12th he just didn't understand why that would make Y/n so upset. The boy said nothing, hoping the confusion on his face was enough persuasion for Y/n to continue.
"Today is the anniversary of my mother's death" Heeseung felt his heart sink to his toes. Her mother's death anniversary was today. Here she was playing the piano so beautifully thinking of her mother who had taught her how much to love the instrument. Heeseung didn't know how to respond, sitting there frozen.
"I'm sorry" Y/n said quickly getting up from the bench in a hurry "This must be such a let down- ill understand if you want to le-"
"Tell me about her" Heeseung had said, cutting the girl off. "I want to know about her, tell me. If that's okay?" Y/n's fake contorted in shock, a clear indicator that she didn't expect Heeseung to asks about her mom. She found herself appreciating it.
"I don't remember too much about her to be honest" Y/n started looking down at the keys of the piano. "I was nine years old when she passed away. It's weird to describe but I don't remember defined details of her as much as I remember the feeling of her, remember the smell of her." Her words were a soft whisper, but to Heeseung she didn't look uncomfortable with the conversation, so quietly he sat giving her as much time as she needed to continue.
"She left me a letter." The girl said taking a shaky breath. "That was all I had of her after she had passed away, I read it every single night for the next four years..until the night my father found it. He ripped it angrily. The last thing I had of her" Heeseung tried his hardest to keep the surprise but also disgust from presenting itself on his face. "My mother committed suicide. My father was so angry about it that weren't allowed to talk about her, we weren't allowed to have things of her. He wanted to erase her entirely from our lives."
"My mother and father met here, at this exact store. My Mom worked here while she attended college. My father was from America, he was here for college and research projects he had. He loved the culture." Heeseung sat still, listening intently to what the girl was saying. He grasped every single word she said, not wanting to miss a single second.
"They loved each other so much in the beginning, got married quickly, had me ever quicker after that. They were the perfect couple. Until they weren't, I don't know what it was.. It was like a switch. My dad started drinking heavily around the time I turned eight. He became a raging alcoholic in no time. In becoming an alcoholic became the abuse."
"He started to abuse my mom, first verbally then physically. He was horrible to her. I would hide in the bathtub at night with the water running to try and drown out the sounds of him hitting her." A small tear escaped Y/n's eyes cascading down her cheek. Heeseung felt his chest tighten but still he kept perfectly still allowing y/n to take a moment to breathe.
"I guess after a year my mother had enough, she couldn't do it anymore. I went to school, my father to work. She wrote a note out to me, took herself into the bathroom and.." Y/n trailed off more tears escaping her eyes. Heeseung put his hand over hers squeezing lightly so that she knew he was here and for her to take her time as needed.
"I came home after school and found her. The note was the only thing that kept me from going insane. My father didn't cope. His drinking got worse, he got angry if any little thing reminded him of mom. So when he came into my room that night and found me reading the letter I was really ready for him to do the same thing to me that he did to my mom."
"But he didn't, he took the letter from my hands, laughed as I cried for him to give it back then ripped it to shreds in front of me. Sometimes I wish he would have just hit me instead, surely that would have been so much less painful then him taking the one thing I had left of my mom." Heeseung's thumb grazed over Y/n's hand still offering her the comfort of himself.
"I don't think I forgave him for that..Even after he later left. The same way my mom had." Heeseungs breath felt short. "The week of my thirtieth birthday my father woke up one day and gave me the best week of my life. I was too young and foolish, I thought he had changed just like that overnight. I was stupid back then" Y/n let out a little chuckle one that Heeseung could tell was in bitterness and not in amusement.
"You were a child..." Heeseung said "You couldn't have known."
Y/n smiled at him sadly. "He gave me the best week of my life, My thirtieth birthday was the best one I had ever had. I went back to school the following Monday and was pulled out of third period with the news that my dad had also taken his life."
"He gave me the best week of my life then left me. I didn't understand, sometimes I still don't understand. Mrs Choi took me in, my mother had known her when she worked here at bound, Mrs. Choi owns Bound. I've lived in this bookstore ever since. Oddly enough I think this store saved me in a lot of ways."
"How are you not more angry? How do you get up everyday and smile at strangers and hum along to little tunes in your head while organizing books. How do you not dwell on what your life could be like had your parents not done what they?" Heeseung questioned. He truly couldn't understand how she could be so strong.
It was marveling. The boy was also completely embarrassed at the fact that he had judged her so sharply in the beginning, coining her as a girl with a perfect life, with perfect parents. That wasn't the case at all, she was just so strong.
"I've realized you have to take control of your life before it takes control of you. If you dwell too much on the past you'll never grow and growth is the only way to change. I can't be angry at the I can't change, the things that weren't my fault. I can only move on and provide a life for myself that's worth living. and this life here, at this bookstore, well to me, that's a life worth living" The bright smile that Heeseung loved so much was back. He was in awe of her. In awe of her beauty, in her strength, in her innocence. It was unnerving how utterly beautiful she was, sitting here in the dim light of this old musty bookstore on an equally as old bench, playing an out of tune piano that sounded like it was on its last leg.
She was a person he didn't know he needed but now that she was here he couldn't imagine a single second a life where she didn't have this smile, where she didn't radiate such a sunshine that he felt the heat of it in his chest. She was bright and warm, and he was not. She made him want to be.
Heeseung looked in her the eyes a small smile on his lips, a rosy blush covered her cheeks. Y/n looked down sheepishly clearly embarrassed a little. "I'm in awe of you" Heeseung mumbled, watching as Y/n trailed her eyes back up to his. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered so softly she was beginning to wonder if he had even said it at all. Her nod was all the affirmation he needed.
"Please do" His lips captured her in an instant. It was soft yet heated, the perfect balance of him and her. The explosion of him heat she radiated melted away his icy exterior leaving him a puddle of himself. Heeseung wouldn't want it any other way. He reveled in the way his body gave way to hers, how his heart had chipped away at itself only to offer the pieces to y/n on a silver platter.
For the first time in all that he could remember Heeseung was ready to give himself away completely. Her hands had made their way around his neck latching at the nape and twirling the tiny pieces of hair between her fingertips. This was heaven Heeseung chanted in his head over and over. He's died, there was no other way this was happening. The boy felt greedy as he pushed himself into the kiss harder. He needed to cherish this, every last second of it.
When it was over and he needed to catch his breath he detached himself from her, a smile on his face wider then its ever been before. He had her and he wasn't letting her go anytime soon.
---
Heeseung felt giddy as he walked up the steps to the dorm that night. He had stayed another hour with y/n before kissing her goodnight and making his way home. Heeseung felt like he was on cloud nine.
The feeling quickly dissipated when he entered the dorm to find it filled with staff, the other members and his manager. His manager sported a sour expression as all previously mentioned people turned too look at him.
"Where were you?" His manager said getting right to it, wasting no time in questioning Heeseung. Heeseung struggled to think of a quick excuse, one that sounded believable at that.
"Out on a walk.." Heeseung started to say before a crash of paper on table startled him.
"Do not lie to me!" Heeseung looked down at the paper on the table, a very blurry picture of him sitting on the piano bench in the window of Bound on the cover. Y/n sat next to him her face as equally as blurry as his, her features not distinguishable at all.
"That's- That's not me-" He was once again cut off by the stern voice of her manager. "Jesus Christ Heeseung we know that's you." Jay said angrily. A mixture of hurt and frustration on his face. All the members sporting the same expression. He was caught in a lie, one he told them too. They were understandably hurt by it.
"who is this girl?" His Manager said pointing at the blurry picture of Y/n "She works at the bookstore, she was ju-"
"if you're going to lie to me it will be so much worse for you." Heeseung sucked in a breath thinking of a million and one things to say to try and get them off his back.
"She's a random girl I go and see every once in a while ok? She means nothing to me, she doesn't know who I am so I use her to feel normal. it's like a game, a hobby that's it." Heeseing felt disgusting as soon as the sentence left his mouth but it was the only thing her could think of it in such a short time. He was in-between a rock and a hard place here, back into a corner that was starting to suffocate him.
"You will stop seeing this girl, am I heard?' His manager stated giving Heeseung a look that said not to disagree with him. Heeseung meekly nodded watching as the staff and manager left without another word.
After they had all left Heeseung turned to see all members staring at him.
"She's not just nothing to you" Jake said "You like this girl"
"it doesn't matter anyway" Heeseung said shaking his head "not like I can see her again." Jungwon got up from his spot, sitting down next to Heeseung. "Why didn't you tell us?" The oldest boy just shrugged "It wasn't supposed to be anything, it just kind of happened and I didn't know how to stop it after that."
"You can tell us anything Heeseung." Jay said patting Heeseung on the back "You didn't have to hide this from us."
"I'm sorry." Was all Heeseung responded with, he needed to find out how he was going to continue to see Y/n without anyone really finding out.
LATER
It was cold today Y/n thought as she propped open the door to the bookstore. The girl was thinking of texting Heeseung and asking him to bring over some hot green tea when he was inevitably going to come see her tonight.
Y/n was fixing shelves and displays when she heard footsteps behind her, she turned with a smile ready to greet the customer "Hi, welcome to bound! let me know if you need anything, ill be more then happy to help you!"
There person at the door walked to her a hard expression on his face. "Y/n?" The Man said making Y/n furrow her eyebrows in confusion. "That's me...do I know you?"
"No, but I have something for you" The man pulled a small piece of equipment from his jacket, it was almost comical how movie like this man was trying to be. Y/n wanted to laugh but knew now was not the time to laugh at this stranger.
"I'm ordering you to stay away from Lee Heeseung or you'll be hearing from HYBE lawyers" The man said handed her what looked to be a hard drive of some sort.
"you're...ordering me to stay away from Heeseing?" The girl asked, all sense of amusement now gone. Instead it was replaced with pure anger. "You cannot come in here and order me to do anything!" Y/n stated firmly.
The man laughed, laughed! He was amused by this. "I can." He said "Lee Heeseung is bound by HYBE contracts, he as an Idol cannot be caught in dating scandals. Especially not in one with a nobody such as yourself. I hope you understand"
"An idol?" Y/n said bewildered "Are we talking about the same person here Heeseung is not an idol!"
"He is." The man responded simply "I suggest you search up Enhypen and watch that little hard drive I gave you. Now that's all, I'll be going now." The man walked out without another word. Leaving Y/n in a puddle of confusion. She hurriedly made her way to the computer connected to the register.
She opened google typing in "Enhypen" Her gasped was heard all around the small shop as the results popped up onto the screen. Sure enough there Heeseung with six other boys. Enhypen. Heeseung was a famous idol. He had lied to her.
With shaky hands Y/n plugged the hard drive in opening the file as quickly as she could. A video popped up, you could tell the camera had been hidden. The video focused on a group of boys and the man that had just been here. Heeseung sat down his head in his hands as the man questioned him of his whereabouts for the night.
Heeseung tried making his way around the question, trying to lie but it seemed that it wasn't working. The man questioned who the girl was in the piece of paper he was pointing at. A picture Y/n all but assumed was of her. All of this information was shocking, but nothing could have prepared for what was said next.
"She's a random girl I go and see every once in a while ok? She means nothing to me, she doesn't know who I am so I use her to feel normal. it's like a game, a hobby that's it." Heeseung had said in response. Y/n felt her heart contract then shatter in her chest.
Did he call her a....game? A hobby? Y/n was disgusted, she hadn't realized she was crying until she felt the small droplets land onto her shirt.
Lee Heeseung was a liar, a manipulator. He had shattered her heart in a fraction of a second. She was so stupid to believe his lies, to fall for him.
She was so so stupid.
---
Heeseung hadn't heard from Y/n in days. He also hadn't made the walk to the bookstore In the same amount of time. She wasn't answering any of her calls or text messages, Heeseung was starting to get worried. He hadn't figured out how to get to bound without being noticed by the staff and manager. They were watching Heeseung like a hawk.
He had to see her. The risk was starting not to matter him. He added to see y/n make sure she was ok, damn the consequences he had to see her in the flesh.
That's how he found himself outside of bound getting ready to open the door to the shop. For some odd reason his stomach was in absolute knots, something felt wrong. He wrapped his hand around the door knob and pulled.. but it didn't open. Was the store closed? He looked into the window of bound to see it completely empty inside the lights turned off.
Heeseung pulled his phone out sending y/n a quick message asking her if everything was ok and why the store was closed.
No response.
Heeseung made his way back to the dorm completely confused on why y/n hadn't been answering her phone and why the store could be closed for.
Heeseung returned to Bound everyday for six more days after that. Each day the store was locked and closed no person in sight. Finally on the seventh day Heeseung pulled the door to find it unlocked.
Y/n sat on the floor of the store clearing shelves readying herself to put new books on to them. Her hair was in two French braids, blue overalls adored her small frame. Heeseung let out a small at the sight of her. She was so beautiful even doing the most simple of things.
"You're alive" Heeseung teased from behind her. His teasing fell upon deaf ears as she completely ignored him continuing to add books to the shelf in front of her.
"Hey.." Heeseung trailed off lightly grabbing her shoulder to turn her around. Y/n filched, throwing herself back and away from Heeseung's grip. "Don't touch me!" She said angrily.
"Wha-" Heeseung started to say his confusion taking over. Why was she acting like this? He had never seen her so cold. "Get out" She spit out angrily looking at Heeseung with a hatred he didn't think was possible for her.
"wait y/n hold on what's going on?"
"Don't you have music to make? Tours to go on? Huh? Lee Heeseung of Enhypen?!" Her words were like poison to his heart, a single lethal dose rendering him completely still. She knew? How did she know? Of fuck, this was bad. Very bad.
"Let me explain-" Once again Heeseung was cut off by y/n's icy comeback "No. Get out. find a new hobby"
Hobby? She called herself a hobby... The realization suddenly hit Heeseung like a tidal wave. She knew what he had said, she found out in some way what he had said about her at the dorm that day.
"We need to talk, Y/n let me explain please" The boy begged following behind Y/n as she walked towards the door of the bookstore. She yanked the door open. The frost from the cold temperatures rushing in was no match for the pure icy panic that soured through Heeseung's veins at this very moment.
"Get out. I never want to see you again Lee Heeseung" She turned to look away from him, a single tear falling down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away refusing to let him see her in this vulnerable of a state.
"I'll be back" Heeseung said walking out the door, he turned to face the door once again readying himself to beg for forgiveness once again. He wasn't quick enough as he was met with the slam of the door and the daunting sound of of the lock being turned.
---
Heeseung hadn't left his room in days feening sickness. He knew he couldn't go on much longer like this, he had obligations with Enhypen. Soon enough he knew the other members were going to start questioning him. He was beginning to not care though. His manager had somehow found y/n informing her of who Heeseung really was and what horrible things he had said out of pure frustration and determination to get the label off his back. He didn't mean any of it. He just didn't know how to convince y/n of that. She officially hated him and he deserved it.
He had lied to her, about who he was even after she had given a piece of herself to him when she told him about her family. Heeseung felt like scum, he felt undeserving of y/n. She was too pure, too good and he just wasn't. He was man who had it all and wanted none of it.
A knock at his door has Heeseung looking up from under his blankets. "Hey man, how are you feeling?" Jake said entering his room with a cold water bottle in his hand.
"ok" Heeseung said weakly not looking Jake in the eyes.
"You're not sick are you?" Jake observed sitting down next to the heaping pile of blankets that was Heeseung.
"No" Heeseung admitted, sitting himself on his. "what happened when you left to the bookstore the other day?" Jake wasn't dumb he knew that was where Heeseung was going. He just wasn't expecting Heeseung to come home a complete shell of himself.
"Y/n knows what I said about her that night when Manager was questioning me about her. He must have told her." Heeseung looked down at his hands a ball of emotions wadded itself up in his chest.
"I messed up so bad Jake" Heeseung mumbled "I think i've lost her for good"
"You don't just like her" Jake said matter a-factly. Heeseung shook his head finally looking Jake in the eye. "I love her" He confessed, his welling up in tears. "I love her and I lost her because I'm an idiot who lets my management run my life"
"So don't let them" Jake said "Don't let them run your life. Go there and tell her how much you love her"
"She hates me Jake, she won't hear me out"
"Make her. Make it hard for her to refuse you. If you love her this much I can only imagine how much she must love you. That's not something you should give up so easily man. Especially with how many non genuine people we encounter all the time."
Heeseung found himself nodding along to what Jake was saying. He shouldn't give up, not that easily, not that quick. He was going to head over to bound and get to hear him out no matter how long it took.
That's how Heeseung found himself outside of bound once again, this time the knot in his stomach had grown tenfold. He could very walk in here and get pushed out again, and that would destroy him. He added y/n to hear him. She was the one thing in his life that made him feel human. He didn't feel like a robot when he was around her, his life didn't feel void, he lived when he was near her.
He grabbed the door knob and opened the door to the store. The sound of the piano playing rang around the empty shop. Y/n sat at the piano, on the same bench they've sat at so many times before playing the same piano they've played time and time again.
"Please don't kick me out" Heeseung had said in a rush. Y/n jumped turning around with narrowed eyes. "Heeseung you need to g-"
"No." Heeseung said simply. Shock spread over the girls face. "No?" she asked "Did you just say no?"
"I did" Heeseung said simply. "I need you to hear me out. If you still want me to leave afterwards then I will, I'll leave and I'll never come back. Just please" Heeseung said with a sense of desperation "Please let me talk"
"you have five minutes" Y/n stated, still sitting very still on the bench. Heeseung took a second to formulate his thoughts. He didn't think he could get this far in all seriousness. He was expecting to be kicked out right away again.
"Time is ticking" Y/n said rolling her eyes. Heeseung knew it was the entirely wrong to think it but she sure did look adorable when she was annoyed.
"I love you." He said "shit I mean- no like okay." Heeseung stuttered out, his cheeks turning dark pink as he stupidly rambled.
"I do love you, I just- god I'm messing this up." Heeseung sat down next to y/n on the bench. He made sure to leave a space between them so that she didn't feel uncomfortable.
"My name is Lee Heeseung and I'm one of the seven members of a famous k pop group called Enhypen" Heeseung said in earnest. "I didn't tell you when I first met you because I was so relieved that you didn't know. and I know that's not excuse but when I ran in here, I was running from a group of fans that's were following me. you not knowing who I was, was such a relief I couldn't tell you."
"I could have told you after that day, when I kept coming back but the truth is I was scared. For months now I have been feeling nothing but normal. I am so sick of people who trying to know because of what I do and not because they actually want to know me. I was fearful that you would look at me completely different if you found out who I was." Heeseung took a big breath in before he continued.
"As for calling you a hobby, I'm sorry. I panicked. The managers and staff cornered me that night demanding I tell them who you were and what I was doing with you so just blurted out the first bullshit I could think of to get them off my back. I didn't mean any of it. I'm serious when I say I love you y/n, and I'm sorry for lying to you but I promise from this moment forward I'm done lying."
Heeseung watched y/n's face looking for any indication of what she was feeling but he found none at all. She was incredibly hard to read.
"The five minutes are up" She said after a minute of silence. Heeseungs head fell low the only thing he could do was nod. He rose from his seat on the bench making his way to the door.
"Lee Heeseung of Enhypen." Y/n called to him silently. Heeseung turned to look at her.
"I didn't say for you to leave" She smiled a slight tilt to her head. Heeseung's look of confusion must have amused her because she let out of the loudest laugh Heeseung thinks he has ever heard from her.
"I love you too Lee Heeseung of Enhypen"
"You can stop calling me that" Heeseung said walking up to Y/n circling his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him.
"But its fun, plus you love me.. you have to deal with it"
"Yeah" Heeseung sighed heavily "I do love you."
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