#Did the paperwork
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Dear Miranda,
Thank you for fighting so hard to survive for as long as we did. I know it was painful and confusing and very, very lonely. I will be grateful for your perseverance until the day I die.
I promise to make good use of the life you maintained for us. I hope to do things that make you proud to have stuck around.
You can rest now. I'll keep going from here.
Love always,
Clover
(a stranger took this for me so I was blushing and crying immediately haha)
#Trans artists#nonbinary#Agender#Did the paperwork#We'll see when it gets accepted#I did it#I stayed#I'm so glad I stayed
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in love with tragedy
#did you know if i don't draw skk angst every month i will explode and Die#IN MY HEAD HE NEVER JUMPED#idk which version YALL read but in mine he does his dramatic speech on the roof and then walks away#and leaves aku n atsu there thinking “??????? bitch tf”#before going and filing paperwork while chuuya screams at him abt missing a meeting while he was out playing cards on the roof w sskk#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#soukoku#skk#bungou stray dogs beast#bsd beast#beast soukoku#beast skk#lotus draws
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Gray and Graysons
One of the Bats has a secret. Something they never told to the others.
They were so very young but they have memories of a sibling, so small and tiny. They remember the burst of warmth they had in their heart when they held the tiny baby for just a moment.
But they weren’t allowed to keep them, their family couldn’t raise them. Money was tight, just enough for three but not for four, despite their shows always bringing in a crowd it was getting harder and harder for the world to be wowed by them in the new age and their sibling was too small and tiny and needed to be cared in a single place than for them to be on the road. Their lifestyle was not good for his tiny sibling apparently.
They had to watch as their parents gave his sibling away to people in suits, them promising to give his baby brother to a loving family when they find a ‘home’ for him. He watched his parents try to be strong only for his mother to break down once the car left down the road, his father holding her and apologizing, the rest of the circus troupe all silently coming over to give the heartbroken family condolences.
Richard ‘Dick’ Grayson had tears running down his face when he last saw his baby brother.
A brother he got to name before he had to be given away.
Daniel ‘Danny’ Grayson.
-x-x-
Dick never told the others. If anyone dug deep into his past they might find his brother’s birth records maybe, if someone got around to digitizing the paperwork for him but given the fact he was placed in the US childcare systems just a few days after his birth and the fact that Dick was still pretty young they most likely believed he didn’t remember his baby brother now. Not after so many years.
But they were wrong, Dick remembers. And he kept the secret close to his heart and memories.
And the only physical evidence he had was a single picture of him holding his brother, a smile on his tiny face towards their father who had taken the photo of them together. When he had lost his parents, lost most of the things that connected him to them, to his past in the circus that had been his whole life, had been taken from him in Gotham’s ruthless childcare system, he held on tight to the picture in secret. Hid it away from anyone trying to rip it from him, hid it from Bruce when the man took him in days later, hid it from Alfred despite how gentle the butler was towards him. He couldn’t, wouldn’t risk losing his photo at the time, he hadn’t trusted anyone and by the time he did he didn’t have the heart to reveal it.
So yes, the existence of his baby brother Danny was his most guarded and best kept secret.
So that’s why Dick, as Nightwing, nearly died from a heart attack when leaving a Justice League meeting he spotted a familiar face among one of the new engineers working in the Watchtower.
It was like seeing a young version of himself. Only, Dick could see that the young man was more than a copy of him, so much more than a clone. He held many traces of John Grayson but also had a bit more of Mary Grayson than Dick did. Small details that Dick foggely remembers taking note when he had held his baby brother.
“Hey, hurry up with that report Gray!” Shouted the head engineer from down the hall, his hand beckoning the young adult to come over.
“Coming! And boss, I told you Danny is fine!” Danny shouted back before hurriedly leaving a stunned Nightwing.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Danny and Dick are siblings#Danny is a space engineer#he worked hard and now gets to be in space#dick grayson#Dick’s parents couldn’t care for Danny because of money and the fact he was tiny#they wanted him but couldn’t keep him#his paperwork got a tiny bit lost and damaged before it got digital#so there isn’t much for either brothers to find each other#Dick did look but found next to nothing about where his brother went#Danny still had the original papers but the papers got damaged bad and his last name is a little lost#he knows it’s Gray something#small what if in this AU but what if he married Val and took her last name#and later finds his old papers and is teased he was always meant to be a Gray some way#BUT he doesn’t have to married in this#just a tiny what if#BUT he has changed his last name to Gray after a bad fall out with he Fenton’s#it wasn’t even because of him being a half ghost or even because of Vlad#nope it was because he didn’t want to be ghost hunter
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Tim Drake Accidentally Takes Over the World (and Didn’t Think to Mention It)
So, Janet somehow spent decades climbing her way into every government worth a damn, ruling the entire world from behind the scenes. And then, because the universe is apparently wild, she left it all to Tim.
Cut to Tim Drake, the brand-new, completely reluctant secret ruler of the entire planet. And he just… never really thought it was worth mentioning?
The Batfam finds out when Bruce stumbles across an encrypted memo traced to a mysterious Gotham office with Tim’s name on it.
Bruce, holding up the memo: “Tim. Want to explain why this document about, oh, international finance reforms is signed with your encryption key?”
Tim, not even looking up from his laptop: “Oh, yeah. That. Janet left me her ‘global influence portfolio’ or whatever. Mostly paperwork.”
The Batfam stares in total shock.
Dick sputters nearly dropping his coffee: "Wait—you’ve been managing world policies?!”
Tim, shrugging, barely paying attention as he emails the president of Germany: “Well, yeah. I figured someone had to keep things running. It's not that big a deal. I mostly just redirect some policies. You know, keep things running smoothly.”
Jason, absolutely cackling: “Are you telling me that little Replacement here is the reason for half the ‘global cooperation’ headlines?”
Tim, scrolling through emails: “They send me reports; I send suggestions. And honestly, they make it way more dramatic than it is. It's not that hard."
Barbara stares at him, half horrified, half impressed. “How did we not notice this?”
Tim blinks. “I mean, it’s not like I was actively hiding it. I assumed you guys knew I was… kind of managing these things?”
Cue utter disbelief.
Stephanie, laughing too hard to breathe: “Tim, do you have world leaders on speed dial?”
Tim, completely unfazed: “Only the important ones. They text, mostly. Oh—by the way, I might’ve influenced a minor arms control thing last week. Don’t worry; it’s all sorted.”
Bruce, looking like he’s two seconds from fainting: “Sorted? Tim, we're talking about you having global authority here. People notice these things."
Tim shrugs again as his phone buzzes with notifications. “Sure, but it’s not like they’re going to do anything too crazy. I just suggest stuff, and they listen. Honestly, it’s like herding really powerful, really overdramatic cats.”
Damian, scandalized: “You mean to tell me, Drake, that you’re manipulating world politics like it’s a game of checkers?”
Tim, still casual: “Manipulating’s a strong word. Like I said, it’s more just nudging things along.” His phone buzzes again. “Oh, hang on. France is panicking about their energy policy again.”
The Batfam tries to process the fact that Tim—Tim, who routinely forgets what day it is—is now, somehow, running the world.
And then his phone buzzes with a message from the UN Security Council.
Tim sighs, glancing down. “Oh, great. Looks like they’re debating nuclear arms again. Be right back.”
Meanwhile, the Batfam is left absolutely speechless, processing the fact that their Tim—scrawny, coffee-fueled Tim—is apparently one of the most powerful people on the planet. And to him its just another tuesday.
#tim drake#batfam#tim accidentally becomes the most influential person in the world and its not even his fault#janet was totally paranoid ant who knows what and knew she had to get herself involved with any politics she could#somehow this means she ends up becoming some kind of consultant that all the governments go to for any advice#tim just doesn't care because it means more paperwork for him#tim learned everything he knows from janet herself so when she dies they all do what she wrote in her will and go to her son instead#batfam in absolute disbelief#how did none of them realize?!#tbf i dont think its something anyone would realize unless they were out right told#tim drake ruling the world
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hi yes it's Agent Walker and Agent Smith yet again..!! continuation to this post. i cant come up with anything new LOL
Aaand before i make myself think i mischaracterised my fav characters again, i'll point out that Agent Smith doesn't really do Agent Walker's paperwork all by himself. He actually gives most of it to his department's employees. Why is he like this.
...another thing i forgot to point out in the last post prequeling this one, Agent Walker's videogames got confiscated and won't be returned until he finishes his current paperwork!! (They found out he was making his employees do his paperwork. like Agent Smith over here...)
+ the last image text says, *(Agent Walker) doesn't notice the slight reduction in paperwork nor the fact that it's TIDIED because he's too woozy
#ninjago#ninjago fanart#ninjago au#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago kai#ninjago jay#agent walker#agent smith#plasmashipping#teshfarts#one last. thing.#Agent Smith's employees eventually turn on him and make the Administrator give him the amount of paperwork he rightfully deserves.#kind of like going through a department ton of lawsuits. idk i only watched ace attorney#so sometime way after Agent Walker finally deals with all his quadrupled paperwork#he catches AGENT SMITH sleeping. cute right? haha . ha#he doesnt help him though because he knows HE was the reason he got his first punishment in the first place. snitch#why did they even make these guys the manager. they suck at being managers
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Just got a new gym membership a few days ago (first time since covid started) and I’m not even someone with a lot of anxiety around working out/going to the gym but im sooooo overwhelmed by the nonstop texts and calls to “schedule your welcome workout” and “pick up your free t shirt” like holy fucking shit dude chill, i will be there after work if i feel like it. know your place, gym, bc it’s not in my damn dms
#i just did the paperwork ahead of time so i could just go when i have the time and energy#apparently this is just fucking unacceptable because they will not leave me alone#I’m not one to bitch about customer service but literally who does this help and how bc i can only see it driving people away
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Chapters: 20/31 Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Zuko & the Fire Sages, Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Yue & Zuko (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar) Characters: Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang (Avatar), Yue (Avatar), Azula (Avatar), Zuko's Hat Additional Tags: Funny Hat Zuko AU, Fire Sage Zuko AU, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Found Family, Fire Hazard Siblings, canon-typical child abuse, Zuko is the Temple's Baby Nerd, Worldbuilding, Zuko Joins The Gaang Early (Avatar), Zuko has never met a hill he wasn't ready to die on, Autism Summary:
High Sage Kenji blesses Fire Prince Zuko with the resilience of the reed, who bends in the wind and never breaks. When he is done, Fire Prince Ozai narrows his eyes, seemingly displeased by this blessing. But Kenji does not speak for himself; he is only a vessel.
-
The newly-crowned Fire Lord Ozai offers his firstborn son to service in the temple.
This turns out to be a catastrophic mistake.
#while mighty oaks do fall#fire sage zuko#this chapter is over 16k why did I write so many words#do we need to submit the fish with the paperwork#funny hat au
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The List
Danny knew he couldn't keep the existence of the ghosts a secret forever. The GIW was a clear example of that, they had managed to disband the organization but there were always traces left behind that made him anxious.
Times had changed, and while Amity was hiding behind his "small town" reputation, the world was changing. New protectors, heroes, as well as new threats were appearing. And as much as the halfa wanted to, he couldn't transport his entire town to the Realms on every occasion of danger, that would definitely be suspicious.
So he made a list. He gathered information on the heroes that had come forward and categorized them according to how easy they were to approach, or how open they would be to the existence of ghosts.
Unfortunately his "safest" choice was John Constantine, someone he wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole, so he decided to settle for the second one: The Flash.
Danny had weighed the pros and cons, but as he walked through Central City he wondered if it had been a mistake. Although it was probably too late to regret it, the speedster had already noticed him.
#dpxdc#ghost king danny#Danny just wants to make things as peaceful as possible#he did not realize that his collection of information would be suspicious#the League was alerted that someone was investigating them#collecting information from each of its members#and hacking the watchtower for it#Danny honestly didn't notice#he just asked Technus for help to make his list of pros and cons#he might know their identities but he doesn't care#dp x dc#dc x dp#Danny hates Constantine for all the paperwork#Flash is clearly nicer#he even treats his villains well#Danny tries to make friends#his new friends are in panic because of him#just wait till he tell them it was a list
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this description made me realise what one of my favourite MXTX character tropes is: Over-Worked, Under-Appreciated Employee Who Is Not Above Becoming Somewhat Evil About It
#jin guangyao#shang qinghua#sha hualing#ling wen#svsss#tgcf#mdzs#jgy#sqh#shl#i can't get over the descriptions of shl ''the demon race’s star employee Sha Hualing''#''her current role as an overworked and underpaid employee seems something of a downgrade''#honestly the other three would probably get along relatively well if they could just shove sha hualing into a cupboard somewhere#let them do paperwork and drink tea together in a calm room where no one is bothering them u.u#they're all in fantasy public service and should be allowed to commit a few atrocities. as a treat.#i'm so happy to have finally found an excuse to draw sha hualing i love her design#every other character is wearing upwards of 7 fucking layers - she saw a sexy sexy niche and decided to fill it... or sqh did i guess#i debated putting yin yu in here as well but you know what. even if he works for a ghost king he just really isn't that evil#sorry yin yu once again you just don't quite make the cut#(also he wrecked my composition)#my art
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dumb tma fic idea: when michael becomes the distortion it's still technically bound to the eye because his contract never ended with the institute/the eye. and he has to come in like once a week to do paperwork or he'll feel ill
#bro imagine#elias: oh michael can you organise these folders pls? thanks#*an hour later*#michael: here's your paperwork :) *sets it down on the table and it clips into the fucking underground tunnels* whoopsies. okay bye#idk i find the concept of it being extremely angry about having to do mundane office work very funny#the interactions with gertrude omg....#first week would be awkward as hell like#michael: hello gertrude :)#gertrude#who did not anticipate this:...hello michael#passive aggressively taking statements#michael: hi welcome to the magnus institute- omg hi i haven't seen you in ages! ! ! how are you! ! !#his latest victim that somehow managed to get out: What The Fuck#tma michael#tma#michael tma#michael#michael distortion#michael the distortion#tma the distortion#the distortion#idk i may be the only one who finds this funny.... idk
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workaholics at home
#dee s 9#garashir#A WIDDWE LATE NIGHT KISS#theyre both burnin the midnight oil.. julian rolling in from the hospital at 11 pm.. garaks still up doing paperwork..#HES GOT READING GLASSES YOUR HONOR#have you given your alien husband a kiss hello yet.#drawn with references cause no way in gods favorite world did i draw a face angle like that from scratch. on god
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Prompt 273
You know what? We need more Good parents Fentons.
And you know what else? Technically, Jack helped Danny defeat Pariah via the use of the Ecto-Skeleton. And like, that’s his son, his baby boy. Sure Danny is and has always been a mommy’s boy, but it doesn’t change that fact. They’re both already feeling horrible about the fact they could have hurt him, they could have hurt their son- they have hurt their son, killed him with their inaction and never again.
So when these oversized jello-eyeballs try to insist that their baby, their precious baby boy, take a crown? Become a king when he’s not even out of highschool, when he doesn’t want it? No. Hell no! That is his Danny-o, his baby boy who was terrified of his own parents!
Which is how Jack, despite technically still being alive even if so-very ecto-contaminated, became the Ghost King.
And for some reason there’s several ghosts rather happy about this- oh, these are his Danny-O’s ghost-parents? Not-ghost parents seeing as some of them have never been anything but a realm denizen? That’s really fascinating- y’know what, want some fudge and we can exchange childcare- Maddie dear come over and meet our co-parents apparently!
Now it’s not all easy, but they’re trying their best, and that’s all that can be asked.
…
Which is perhaps why it’s so exasperating- or as Maddie would put it, downright infuriating- that it is now, almost an entire year and a half later that the Heroes finally arrive to investigate. Well, at least he has plenty of fudge since it’s almost time for the council meeting.
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Ghost King Jack#Jack is never picking up a gun again#Why yes they did have a one-night stand with Constantine before#The fentons adopt Ellie as soon as they can which also ends with some conversations with Vlad#Lots of conversations & therapy and Y E A H#Jack is like an unmovable object and Danny is like an unstoppable force#Dan gets snatched up the moment he goes back in time from his timeline#He has no clue wtf to do because it’s Not Fair that Danny gets this#That he gets his parents- that he gets acceptance#Dan doesn’t realize until the whole Fentom Family (& Vlad) hugs him that he realizes he can#Jordan is very overprotective of his second chance at family thanks to trauma#Somehow him and Vlad get on well together- probably the villain-leaning habits#GIW had a complete info blackout on Amity to the point they erased the existence of the city#Hence why it took so long for the heroes to find out#Eventually via Deadman after he disappears for a bit & returns telling them there’s a new king & everyone#is getting little information packets on new rules & getting their paperwork taken care of#Pretty much getting visa (Sp?) cards on what they’re doing in the living world
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Thinking about big, strong intimidating pro-hero Dynamight who has to psych himself up to give you, (the girl he’s only been crushing on for a year now) a gift for Christmas.
He’s finally resigned himself to just dropping it on your desk and running when he literally runs into you on the way to your office, nearly knocking you off your feet as you bounce off his chest.
He’s quick to mutter out an apology, gripping your hips as he ensures you’re not hurt, heart tripping and face beet red as you laugh and wave off his concern.
It only makes things worse that you notice the brightly wrapped little box clutched in his hand, the paper slightly crumpled from where he rushed to catch you.
He follows your gaze as he lets you go, already missing the feeling of you in his hands and pulls it close to his chest, suddenly worried if you’ll even like it.
For a split second, he seriously considers using his quirk to blow it up and pretend like he has no clue what you mean.
Instead, he thrusts it into your hands, ignoring your look of surprise as he mutters out a Merry Christmas and hurries away, hands shoved deep in his pockets. The whole rest of the day, he’s kicking himself, convinced you think he’s an idiot now, that you hated it.
It’s not until later that night, when he gets a text with your name on it and an attached picture, that those fears are eased.
He basically leaps for his phone, cursing impatiently as he waits for the image to load. He sucks in a breath when it does, the sight of your hero costume pulled away from your body just enough to display the pretty orange jewel and dainty chain nestled in the hollow of your throat doing more to him than he’d ever imagined. The picture is angled high so he can see your smiling face, and he finds himself smiling back as he saves it.
His fingers are hovering over the keyboard when you start to type again, a new message popping up soon after.
Thanks for the gift, Dynamight, I think orange is starting to become my favorite color 🧡
#the only reason he doesn’t blow up the gift is the last time he did that with annoying paperwork it caught fire#and set off all the fire alarms in the entire building#mha#cowboy anon writes#t writes#thecowboyanon writes#bakugou#Bakugou x reader#Bakugou mha#Bakugou Katsuki#Katsuki Bakugou#Bakugou fluff#bnha bakugou#bakugou x you#he’s such a simp
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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason
side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.
and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.
#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart#their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money#you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is#The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw#and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is#recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions#to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way#they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc#the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military#you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible#the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it#source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE#I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined#and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK#and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt#I hate yall I really do.
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I'm on a roll with AU these days, so. Cowboy AU ! Outlaw Dewdrop x Sheriff Swiss...with a twist.
It's been a long fucking day. Very fucking long. Swiss' back aches as he leans back into his seat, blinking when the lines of barely legible handwritting still swim in front of his eyes, even now that he's looked up from all the paperwork.
Yawning, he looks around his office, lazily blinking. A light breeze brushes his face, making him frown and glance at the half opened window. Hadn't he closed it ? Swiss tries to recall, hours blending together in his memory. Maybe he didn't, maybe he forgot.
Once he's locked it, Swiss snatches his hat, delibarating between popping to the saloon or just staying home.
"Be the sheriff, they said, it'll be fun, they said," he grumbles, making his way downstairs, "they just forgot to mention the fucking paperwork."
It's all fake complaints, though. No matter how much paperwork makes him want to hang himself sometimes, Swiss loves this town, loves taking care of it, protecting it, acting for the people that make it such a bright and homely place.
Plus, he rocks the hat he was gifted when he became sheriff. That thing is probably his most prized possession.
Once in the kitchen, Swiss makes a beeline for the nearest bottle, in dire need of a little something to clear the fog in his brain from answering letters, approving or denying demands and signing what needed to be signed for hours.
The bottle leaves the shelf too easily, snatched with too much strenght for its weight. Swiss frowns, looking down at the bottle. It's three quarters empty, which doesn't sit right with him. He's sure, absolutely certain he left it more full than this.
All at once, Swiss becomes keenly aware of his surroundings, his senses sharpening in an instant. Noticing things he hasn't prior.
The rim of the bottle is still wet, a stray drop clinging to the neck, not having had time to reach the bottom. A glass is missing on the shelf. The memory of the window he thought he had closed flashes back in Swiss' mind.
His hand flies to his holster just as the distinct sound of someone cocking their gun breaks the silent, followed by a voice.
"Touch that gun and i'll have to scrub your brains off the floor," it says.
Swiss freezes, slowly raising his hands on either sides of his head. He hears steps, then a hand relieves him of both the guns he carries, as well as the knife hidden in his boot - quite the predictable place to keep it, Swiss will admit.
"Turn around," the voice orders then.
Swiss does, half smiling.
"Very rude way of starting a conversation, don't you think ?"
"Who says I want to talk ?"
Swiss groans as he takes in the man facing him. Long hair, mismatched eyes, sharp features, a scar tugging the right corner of his mouth up in a perpetual smirk ; a familiar face, one plastered on every available wall of every town.
Dewdrop, wanted for a baffling amount of crimes Swiss can't be bothered to remember, dead or alive. Reward : Swiss can't remember that either, with how often it changes.
The outlaw amongst the outlaws.
Swiss raises an eyebrow.
"Well, you see, people love chatting with me, so I just assumed you were as dying to hear my voice as the others."
Dewdrop scoffs, though he's smiling, a thin, sharp thing that reminds him of a blade. The fucker is holding a glass of Swiss' liquor in the hand not gripping the gun.
"Sorry to disapoint, sheriff, but if i had the time to sew your mouth shut, I would."
Swiss tilts his head.
"Rude. Almost as much as drinking my stash away."
Dewdrop downs his glass, maintaining eye contact the whole time, carelessly setting it on the nerby table with a satisfied smack of lips.
"You have enough liquor to drown in it, I'm sure my share won't be missed."
Swiss almost doesn't catch the quick way Dewdrop's eyes rake over him, up and down and up again, pausing momentarily at the silver of belly exposed by his raised arms. Almost.
"What I do miss are my guns," Swiss huffs, eyeing where they've been unceremoniously shoved under Dewdrop's belt. The outlaw takes one out, examinating it with an approving hum : they're very nice guns, well-cared for. Then he puts it back, still at his own belt.
"You'll miss a lot more once i'm done."
Swiss' eyebrows climb up his forehead ; there is a vague innuendo to be made, he thinks, but between the tiredness still weighting on his shoulders and the way his eyes keep stubbornly falling on Dewdrop's lips, he can't find a way to phrase it. Instead, he props his hip against the end of the table opposite to the one Dewdrop stands at.
"So you, a famous outlaw, master of escapism, came to this...tiny town and decided to ransack the sheriff's house ? You won't find nearly as much as you're used to."
The look Dewdrop gives him then, feels like being flayed open, exposed raw to prying, piercing eyes. It takes all of Swiss' carefully crafted self-control not to flinch away from it. When Dewdrop takes a step toward him, he can't help but tense, smile less easy, more strained.
"Oh but you see, sheriff, i pride myself in being nosy. Some might say it's a flaw, I say it's a very useful thing. I have keen ears, you see. I hear a lot, and I love rumors."
The barel of Dewdrop's gun presses against Swiss' chest. The outlaw is fully grinning now.
"And, you see, people say the Multi-Faced Thief - you know the Multi-Faced Thief, don't you sheriff ?- didn't die in that trainwreck years ago. Some say he's still alive, mascarading as a simple civilian, maybe even a figure of authority, hoarding the goods he stole, or aquired thanks to his thievery. "
Swiss swallows, his smile widening. Dewdrop is clever, ruthless, ambitious. He can't help liking it. There's no point in bullshitting him, but Swiss decides he can't give in without fucking with him a bit.
"And why are you telling me that ?"
All the air leaves the room when Dewdrop leans forward, so close his nose almost brushes Swiss'. It's crooked, Swiss notices, the bridge a bit wonky, probably broken once or twice. His fingers twitch above his head with the sudden and irrational need to touch it.
Swiss can barely breath, waiting, Dewdrop's eyes flickering over his face, searching. Pausing on his plush lips for half a second too long.
"I think you know why. You've gone soft, Multi. It was easy sneaking in. Disarming you."
A chuckle escapes Swiss as he drops the act, entertained by this guy's audacity. His confidence. Instead of shying away from the gun, he weights against it, sure to leave a dent in his skin. His eyes darken in the dim light ; oxygen can barely find both their lungs in what tiny sliver of space there's left between their faces.
"I'll admit, I dropped my guard. Didn't expect a pretty thing like you to stumble into my house. Try to steal from me. If we'd met a few years ago, I would either have put a bullet between your eyes or taken you for a ride."
Up close, Swiss is at the front row to see Dewdrop's pupils expand, his chest rising and falling quickly. Despite that, he doesn't lose sight of his objective, something Swiss admires quietly as he's shoved a few inches back by the push of the gun.
"Yeah, well. Here you are today, distracted and gunless."
Swiss nochalently raises his, mirroring Dewdrop's position, barrel against his narrow ribcage.
"You were saying ? Looks like I'm not the only one who's losing focus, mmh ?"
He watches in amusement Dewdrop's cheeks clolouring with both anger and embarrassement, his mismatched eyes flicking down to his belt, where only one of Swiss' guns is left.
"So, we're in a bit of a dead end, but i'll make you a deal, yeah ? You leave, and you leave fast, without doing this town any damages. In exchange, i'll let you have this," Swiss drawls, slipping a hand under his collar to tug on a richly ornemented pendant, one that always stays concealed under layers.
Dewdrop's jaw falls open at the sight of the Multi-Faced Thief's most famous prize, the hold-up of the century. Swiss waits for his answer, grinning, watching rubies reflecting in wide eyes.
"Why...would you offer that ?" Dewdrop manages to choke out, stunned.
Swiss laughs lightly, slipping the jewlery off his neck and onto Dewdrop's, still not letting go of it, precious metal digging in his palm.
"I'm tired of carrying this old thing around, and i'm already plenty rich. Do we have a deal ?"
Greed is always a bad influence, Swiss would know. It's currently shining in Dewdrop's eyes, surely thrumming in his veins. But he's not stupid, either.
"Right. And the real reason....?"
Huffing, Swiss yanks on the pendant, grinning from ear to ear.
"The real reason, is that i'll have a good excuse to hunt you down. I'll get this back. I'll catch you. I've missed the thrill of the chase."
It's not much of deal, more like a threat, or maybe a promise, but it's clear by the look on Dewdrop's face that he's game. Incapable of resisting the challenge.
"If you think you're up to it, it'll be my pleasure to prove you wrong, sheriff. It's a deal."
Swiss let go. They're still holding each other at gunpoint.
"My weapons, or you're not walking through the door," he warns.
"Windows would do," Dewdrop snarks back, though he does toss Swiss' second gun and knife on the table. His eyes flick up to Swiss' hat, hand twitching.
"Unless you intend to take me up on the ridding offer, I suggest you don't take that. You know the rule," Swiss smirks, earning an eye roll.
"Not tonight," Dewdrop breathes, slowly backing up toward the window, still aiming at Swiss' chest.
He's halfway through it when Swiss calls back.
"I'll see you soon, Dew."
The outlaw throws him a daring look, scarred cheek pulling with how wide he smiles, and it's the last thing Swiss sees before he jumps off.
Alone in his kitchen, Swiss laughs.
This will be fun.
#do sheriffs actually have paperwork to fill ?#probably not#but for the plot#i'll pretend they do#did dew bite off more than he can chew ?#or did swiss ?#who knows#also by “you know the rule”#i meant the cowboy one#you know which one#“multi-faced thief” because he's really good at playing whatever role will suit his purpose#also because i just wanted to sneak the “multi” status in this#amongst the numerous charges against dew there definitely is arson btw#cowboy au#swiss ghoul#dewdrop ghoul#nameless ghouls#the band ghost
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Emmrich is fastidious in his grooming habits and wouldn’t be caught dead (lol) looking anything other than his best at all times, but don’t let that fool you into thinking he’s afraid to get dirty: the man works with the deceased. Embalming people requires a strong stomach. If anything he’s the one stepping up to deal with the bag of extremely rotten carrots that fell behind the shelf in the pantry and remained there for a month before the smell got so bad *someone* had to deal with it.
It makes his entire DAY when the gang stumbles upon a corpse that’s been dead for awhile and he’s going, “The advancement of tissue gas at this stage of decomposition has turned his skin that striking chartreuse colour - if you gently press on it you can actually feel the bubbles snapping under the dermis! Give me your hand, Rook!”
Meanwhile everyone else is gagging or actually throwing up because of the smell alone - never mind the green bloated dead guy.
#emmrich#emmrich volkarin#dragon age#dragon age emmrich#veilguard#datv#the man loves gross things let’s be real#i just had a tissue gas memory and thought of this#her cremation paperwork was delayed so we had to wait to cremate her#our lead embalmer was at the chapel because i needed his help with a visitation that wasn’t looking good#and he smelled the tissue gas lady from upstairs and practically ran down to the crem#just to take the lid off her container and give me a lecture about tissue gas#the lecture uh… stuck#as did the smell
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