#collecting information from each of its members

[azacat-alias-lost]

Okay so artblock is being a bitch rn but i just had a BRAINBLAST of a crossover au idea

@sinisterspoon you're gonna lose your shit about this

So picture this. The TF2 Red mercs are getting back from yet another fight with Blu, and yknow its the typical banter n stuff. Then, out of NOWHERE, two people crash through their ceiling. One is a large, freckled man with whitening hair and a horribly stained blue sweater, knocked out cold. The other is a thin, dark-skinned man with salt and pepper hair and oh my god thats a lot of eyes. Holy shit. And they're all open. Dazed, unconscious, but open. He also has a stab wound that is healing unnaturally fast.

Medic is like "Well we should probably make sure they don't die" And so he does. He takes them into his clinic and is going to heal them, and maayyybe do a few experiments along the way. But before he can even make the first incision (he chose the smaller guy), the man's hand shoots up and grabs his wrist. In a voice tinged with the static of a tape recorder, he whispers..

"Where am I? I Know for a fact this isn't London"

Eventually, they both wake up, recover, etc. The Mercs are very intrigued as to where they came from, y'know with falling out of the sky and all. As they hang around each other more, it becomes exceedingly clear that they are Not Human. Fog, Knowing, the way the cameras move to watch them... Heavy is the first to point it out, and Engie is the first to confront them directly.

The Magnus Institute, London. The Fears. The Apocalypse.

Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood are sitting at the table with 9 unrealized avatars of the Slaughter.

What do they do? Well naturally, they ask the two to help in the Gravel Wars. They give them gear, test their abilities, and train them in combat. They connect them to the respawn machine, and familiarize them with the proceedings. The first (and only) time Medic tries to experiment on Jon, he nearly bites his arm off. Yeah, the end of the world kinda made him feral.

And so two new Mercs are created.

JONATHAN SIMS: THE INTEL - The Intel can certainly fight, although their damage is very weak. Mostly specializing in overseeing the battlefield, they give information and locations to members of their team. They have a spot on the map that they can go to view cameras, picking off Spies and warning of Snipers and Engineer's turrets. In this zone, they cannot be harmed, but no one else is able to get in range to be harmed by them. They also have the ability, (once per game) to pick one person on the enemy team and just absolutely obliterate them. Smite them, if you will.

MARTIN BLACKWOOD: THE WISP - A master of stealth, the Wisp has the ability to float around the battlefield like a cloud of mist. Just barely visible, they can hide in almost any place. The moment they materialize to fight, however, they become vulnerable. Extremely vulnerable. Their damage hits like a tank, but their defense is very poor. After materializing, they have a cooldown before they can turn to mist again. Their weapon of choice is a damage-heavy knife, much sturdier and more jagged than Spy's switchblade.

This is NOT what they thought their Somewhere Else would be like. But hell, it beats being stuck at the Supernatural Horror Collecting Factory.

"Where you go, I go."

"Always."

Anyway, please let me know what you think!! This has been rotating in my mind for a little bit and might be the best crossover I've ever come up with

[nelkcats]

The List

Danny knew he couldn't keep the existence of the ghosts a secret forever. The GIW was a clear example of that, they had managed to disband the organization but there were always traces left behind that made him anxious.

Times had changed, and while Amity was hiding behind his "small town" reputation, the world was changing. New protectors, heroes, as well as new threats were appearing. And as much as the halfa wanted to, he couldn't transport his entire town to the Realms on every occasion of danger, that would definitely be suspicious.

So he made a list. He gathered information on the heroes that had come forward and categorized them according to how easy they were to approach, or how open they would be to the existence of ghosts.

Unfortunately his "safest" choice was John Constantine, someone he wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole, so he decided to settle for the second one: The Flash.

Danny had weighed the pros and cons, but as he walked through Central City he wondered if it had been a mistake. Although it was probably too late to regret it, the speedster had already noticed him.

[felassan]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard info compilation Post 2

[Link to Part 1]

Post is under a cut due to length.

There is a lot of information coming out right now about DA:TV from many different sources. This post is just an effort to compile as much as I can in one place, in case that helps anyone. Sources for where the information came from have been included. Where I am linking to a social media user’s post, the person is either a dev, a Dragon Age community council member or other person who has had a sneak peek at and played the game. nb, this post is more of a ‘info that came out in snippets from articles and social media posts’ collection rather than a 'regurgitating the information on the official website or writing out what happened in the trailer/gameplay reveal’ post. The post is broken down into headings on various topics. A few points are repeated under multiple headings where relevant. Where I am speculating without a source, I have clearly demarcated this.

Character Creation

It is the best CC BioWare has ever made in a game [source]

The faction we choose will determine who we as protagonist Rook were before they were recruited to put a stop to Solas [source]

Certain conversation options are only available to Rooks of certain factions. For example, Grey Wardens get conversation options that are focused on the Blight, as they know more about it from other people. It also impacts how people talk to Rook (reactivity from characters and then faction reactivity from plots relating to that faction) [source]

Faction choice affects a lot of things [source]

There aren't unique missions (I think this means like the playable Origins in DA:O), but faction choice does set the course for Rook for the rest of the game [source]

"body customization and morphing. From more muscular characters, to curvier builds, and just about any shape you want to give your character, there are all sorts of toggles to adjust so you can give them any figure you want". "There's even features that let you choose proportions, so you can alter their height, give them wider shoulders, and much more" [source]

There are makeup options [source]

There are tattoo options [source]

The hair uses a "Strand system" to "make them behave and move in a believable way for the different races" [source]. (Fel note/speculation: I think "race" here refers to irl, as opposed to like human vs qunari or something, as the language they are using for human/elf/dwarf/qunari is "Lineage")

There are 4 voices to choose from for Rook: two feminine and tow masculine (one American, one British for each) [source]

In CC, 'Lineage' is the game's parlance for race i.e. human, elf, dwarf, qunari [source]

We can pick Rook's name, but the dialogue calls them 'Rook' [source]

In CC we can "make a few key decisions that will impact how The Veilguard begins" [source]

"I really do think its our most feature-ful character creator ever." [source]

Story and lore

In the opening segment of the game (see more on the story's opening moments here), we're too late and Solas' ritual worsens, so Rook and the companions go to stop him. When travelling to the next location (Arlathan Forest) in the chase after Solas, the characters travel through an eluvian [source]. The Forest is where his ritual is taking place. Varric then asks the player if he should confront Solas, and players then work to take down the surrounding statues in order to stop the ritual. "I won’t spoil what happens next, but I’ll just say the player and Veilguard have a tall task ahead of them if they want to save Thedas." [source]

Four of the 6 faction options for Rook (Mourn Watch, Lords of Fortune, Veil Jumpers, Shadow Dragons) are "rooted in northern Thedas" [source]

Certain conversation options are only available to Rooks of certain factions. For example, Grey Wardens get conversation options that are focused on the Blight, as they know more about it from other people. It also impacts how people talk to Rook (reactivity from characters and then faction reactivity from plots relating to that faction) [source]

There aren't unique missions (I think this means like the playable Origins in DA:O), but faction choice does set the course for Rook for the rest of the game [source]

A line of dialogue Dorian had at the Winter Palace in DA:I about what Tevinter is like informed the devs' approach to bringing to life the setting of Tevinter: ""There's a line in Dragon Age Inquisition that we always like to call back to," Epler says. "Dorian goes to the Winter Palace, which, up to that point, is probably the most impressive thing you've seen [as the Inquisitor], and [he] says something like, 'Oh, this is cute.' And we had to ask, what does it look like? What is Tevinter if Dorian sees that [the Winter Palace] and thinks that?"" [source]

The fact that Minrathous used to be the land of the elves was factored into the location's design. John Epler: "You can see the architecture has changed. It's become a lot more elven focused. And something that we've kind of hinted at, but we've never really shown explicitly, is the idea that Tevinter is built on the bones of the ancient elven empire. Tevinter itself, Minrathous itself, all the magic you see, that's just a pale imitation of what the elves are capable of. So you'll start to see as you get deeper into the game, the elves, for example, worked Lyrium into their building materials. Tevinter can't quite figure out how to do that. So instead, you'll see more gold and gems, kind of imitating it, but not ever quite approaching what the elves are able to do, and really creating that continuity of the space. Obviously, Solas isn't too thrilled that this world is the way it is, because he lived in a time of miracles and magic, and even the most magical place in Thedas isn't magic like the elven people used to be able to do" [source]

At the end of the opening portion of the game there is a "jaw-dropping title card cliffhanger" [source]

On the opening sequence: ""One of the things we wanted to do with this game is make the prolog feel like the final mission of a different game," John Epler says. "We really needed to get the stakes, the spectacle, right off the bat. Obviously, players who had been waiting to confront Solas have been waiting for just this moment."" [source]

Each companion has their own storyline that runs parallel to the main story [source]

You cannot succeed without the companions. Each of them has a reason why they need to be part of your party, why they need to help you stop the end of the world [source]

All 7 companions are recruited in the game's first act [source]

The firey demon looking guys shown near the start of the Gameplay Reveal are Rage Demons. Demons in general got a revamp in this game "to more closely align their look", this can be seen with the shades and the Pride demons as well. "they’re creatures of emotion so they have a spectral nervous system look" [source]

The Pride demon the group fight at the Solas face-off in the Gameplay Reveal video "was more a direct tie to Solas than anything else, but it didn't escape us how much it echoed the beginning of DA:I". they wanted to show the stakes and the scale of Solas' power [source]

Characters, companions, romance

Harding was one of the earliest characters that the devs wanted to bring into DA4, because she was such a fan favorite. She is this game's 'traditional returning' character [source]

Each character's romance flavor or style is different. They don't want every character for the romance to feel the same. They want everyone to have their own flavor that's appropriate to them as a character [source] [two]

"We found as we were building a story, more than ever before, it's a story about the people around you; a story about building this team, and working with them." [source]

Each companion has their own storyline that runs parallel to the main story [source]

You cannot succeed without the companions. Each of them has a reason why they need to be part of your party, why they need to help you stop the end of the world [source]

All companions are pansexual (specifically pansexual, not playersexual) [source]

Their pansexuality may come through in what we learn about their backstories [source]

No companion romance is race-locked [source]

Companions reference their past experiences or partners, and they reference who they'll become romantic with. [source]

If you don't romance a character, they may find a different partner for themselves. This could be within the companion roster itself or outside of it in the broader world. [source] For example, if the player does not romance Harding, she may get together with Taash [source]

The game is rated M [source]

The game contains nudity [source]

We can start flirting with the companions pretty early [source]

All 7 companions are recruited in the game's first act [source]

It is not until later parts of the game that you really commit to romance and things get pretty spicy [source]

The nudity, spicy things etc is more towards the end of the game [source]

The devs want the companions to be relatable and fully realized. So things get spicy, but in a more relatable way for people than e.g. some of the more shocking and comical scenes of this nature in Baldur's Gate 3 [source]

How sexually explicit the scenes are varies between characters. Some are more spicy than others. They have diverse personalities like in real life. "Some of them are more physical, more aggressive, and some of them are more... we have a gentleman necromancer [Emmrich], for instance, that is more intimate and sensual." [source] "some characters may be a little more steamy while some characters maybe a little bit more innocent" [source]

The romance and relationship system is more fleshed out than in previous BioWare games. A character's romance will be better woven into their personal story arc and into their involvement in the core questline of the game [source]

"BioWare has also worked to ensure that getting to know your characters as friends feels just as satisfying - and that just because you're not banging your buddy, their (platonic) relationship with you will still continue." ""One of the things we tried to do with The Veilguard is it's not just romantic relationship building," Epler continued. "You need to get to know a person before you can really build that kind of relationship with them, and if you choose not to build a [romantic] relationship, we never want to feel like you're being cut off. There's no 'okay, well, their arc isn't progressing, I'm done'." We want to make sure the non-romantic relationships are deep as well, with friendships not just for companions and yourself, but also between companions across the party."" [source]

GDL reprises his role as Solas [source]

Gameplay, presentation, performance etc

The game has a photo mode [source]

Combat is fast-paced [source]

If you pause the game using the ability wheel you can scan enemies to learn more information about them [source]

Each of the 3 main classes is distinguished by how it generates and spends energy for abilities [source]

Each of the 3 subclasses for each 3 main class promise to offer some meaningful distinctions from each other [source]

for this, rogues have momentum. You build momentum by attacking, by dodging, by parrying, and you lose it by being hit, so there's really a focus with rogues on avoiding damage, avoiding attacks. They build momentum quickly, but they lose it quickly. Warriors have rage, which they build a little bit more slowly, but they don't lose [source]

Attacks can be cancelled [source]

Regarding enemy weaknesses, some of these are elemental. In other cases their defenses are more vulnerable to specific types of abilities [source]

Combat seems to be a matter of managing our abilities as best we can to whittle down enemy defenses and take advantage of their weaknesses [source]

Over the course of the game we get access to three abilities per companion as well as an additional two abilities we can slot, and an additional ability that coms off of items that the devs will not talk about for now [source]

Fully offline single player, no EA account linking, no micro-transactions [source]

The game uses advanced rendering tech in Frostbite, nice subsurface scattering, high quality meshes, while having a striking pseudo-painterly look [source]

There are blood spatters in the game [source]

Production values on the game have gone through the roof. It looks like a big improvement on what came before [source]

On the music: "lots of foreboding tunes mixed with epic flair" [source]

Good voice acting, great facial animations, good hair tech, busy-looking environments and worlds [source]

It's not open world. "There are open areas you can explore around in, but it's mostly structured/mission based, sort of like Mass Effect." [source]

There are difficulty options [source]

They will talk about PC spec stuff at a later time [source]

There is probably an option to see damage numbers [source]

There are many reasons why the game is M-rated [source]

There are lots of abilities, with 3 swapped in on the wheel at any one time [source]

There are a bunch of accessibility options and they will talk about these soon [source]

The ability wheel gives you flexibility to enhance your playstyle. If you don't want to use it at all, you don't have to and that's no issue as shortcuts are available [source]

[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

[toxycodone]

Monster Fucker's Journal - (Laios Touden x Reader) Masterlist

desc. Laios Touden never expected to meet another person who shared his passion for monsters and yet, somehow, you two have managed to find each other. Traversing the dungeon and learning more about its inhabitants has been a dream for the two of you. You and Laios have filled out his journal with tons of firsthand information on monsters, from detailed notes on their anatomy to the various locations they can be found.

However, you notice he's lacking on one aspect in particular...breeding habits. As much as he's dying to know this information, Laios isn't going to be able to collect this information on his lonesome. I mean, he can't take notes while getting fucked...

So as his generous and equally monster loving party member, you offer to help.

author's note. happy october everyone! I am getting back on my grind so. here is a fun little project. I'm hoping to post chapters every weekend <3 This fic will follow the canon timeline from the anime and basically just follow you getting fucked by monsters and laios watching + recording + examining your body afterwards. yay!!!

First Chapter drops Sunday, October 13th!

Introduction

Chapter One: Slime (Oviposition)

Chapter Two: Orc (Gangbang)

Chapter Three: Mermaid + Merman (Double Penetration)

Chapter Four: Tentacles (Sex Pollen)

Chapter Five: Minotaur (Size Difference/Milking)

~Bonus Chapters (depending on if this fic reaches note goals or if I feel like it lol)~

Werewolf/Dire Wolf (Knotting)

Red Dragon!Falin (Extreme Size Difference)

Dryad (Group Sex + Cunnilingus)

Shapeshifter (Group Sex + Selfcest)

...and more by request!

[circeyoru]

Darkest Confession = Requested

[Human!Alastor x Serial Killer Enthusiast!Reader]

Everyone have that one thing that really really sets them apart from the group, right? Some can be way too addicted with coffee that they don’t sleep much cause of it, or some can be so obsessed with ducks that they have a whole collection of it (ahem Lucifer ahem anyways…). Either way, usually it’s harmless

No, not you

You were no police officer or detective, or any career related to crime. You were someone simple working from place to place, always moving. Yet you found yourself engrossed with the art of killing. No, you don’t kill yourself. But you love to read about the people that do, specifically, serial killers

To just have the urge to kill and do it then deal with the consequences. It was like the most extreme of goal making. The thing with serial killers is that they mostly pick random people off the streets and kill for whatever reason they have. One can’t link the killings back to the killer because there was none! Oh, how you eat those stories up like a bedtime story

You somewhat study serial killers and their killings, feeling drawn to them enough that you’d move from place to place. It was your drive and your calling. One you keep quite deep down, you’d let this side of you out from time to time, but you had to control it since some might think you deserve the straight jacket or put in a hospital, or just label you as mental

Close friends and your family knew this side of you and said one day you’d be in deep waters for this interest of yours. They had advised you to stop and just push it away, find something else to think. Maybe a romantic partner that you can settle down with?

Hell no! (like Charlie to Val)

You follow serial killer stories from place to place. As sad that it was to know it after the killings were brought to light because of the slow news outlet, you take what you can. You’d mostly maybe catch a glimpse of the killer, behind bars or during trials

There was a few close calls. You recall yourself impersonating a reporter to interview the killer and your interest in them got them to talk, but you had to left before someone caught on you weren’t a reporter. Another time, a writer hired a helper to talk with a killer on trial, you wrote so much notes that the writer wanted you long term

Still no, you left to follow more serial killers when you could

You heard of a serial killer at large. In New Orleans, City in Louisiana. You heard it over the radio from a rising host that took over the hearts of the people, even outside of his hometown. He detailed the killings, even claiming to have seen a few of the bodies alongside the police so he could offer a clearer picture to the listeners of the horrors the killer can do and wasn’t afraid to show off

A serial killer still free and in society. While the other listeners in the cafe shivered and whispers to each other to be cautious or relief that the killer wasn’t in their town or city, you were planning your next travel

Next stop the New Orleans, hunting ground of the Bayou Serial Killer

Settling down was easy since you had been so custom to it. Like always, you wandered a bit, get the feel of the place and its people, the vibe of the city so you can fit in. Then you visited the place where the bodies were found, information provided by the local newspaper and the radio talkshows

You didn’t know then. That someone was following you after a few of your visits to the body dumping grounds. You certainly didn’t know that chance encounter with the radio host was staged

“I’d like coffee, black!” You heard the familiar voice ring. You didn’t have to look up to know the customers and staff members of the cafe all drawn to the man that ordered at the counter. You rolled your eyes. It was the famous radio host, Alastor, he started frequenting this cafe only recently (when you showed up in town) and would take his morning coffee here before he goes live

If only he was a serial killer or someone close to one… You remember the first time seeing him when he entered the cafe. You wanted to approach him, but he was always eyed by the people that put him on a pestasole. You learned to stay clear of people like that because, there were always some fans crazier than the other. Take yourself as an example, with your obsession and addiction to killers

“May I join you, my dear fellow?” Your eyes quickly scanned the place. Why was it so full today? You didn’t say anything and just gestured to the empty seat opposite to you in your booth. Great, now you had to go to work early because you wanted to avoid him. Wait

“Are you writing your script now?” You blinked at the notepad Alastor started to scribble over, you couldn’t just start by asking ‘are you writing your script on the serial killer? Can I see, please?’. Your keen eyes caught the words ‘serial killer’ and ‘bodies’

Alastor chuckled and said he was merely reorganizing his thoughts so he could envision his radio host as smoothly as possible for the listeners. You blink ‘for the listeners’, again with that. But does he really put others first behind himself? Somehow you didn’t think so

Of course his notes got you to put your attention on him. Alastor had to internally grin. He noticed a new face in town after some time. Then he noticed you going to his dumping grounds. He had thought you were a new detective or police to hunt him down by looking over new evidence. He thought he was right when he saw you noting down the surroundings even with the absence of the body

You were followed carefully to check if you had family and/or friends that would make a fuss of your disappearance. When you had none, he thought you were an easy target. But you weren’t a detective nor a police. Imagine his surprise when he only found you returning home. Never once had you went to the police with that notepad of yours

Odd

So he followed some more. It then that he noticed you had a spark in your eyes whenever serial killers or their killings were mentioned. While other would shiver with the sight of fear in their eyes, you had interest and excitement. So odd, but he didn’t dislike it. It fueled his interest in you

He tried striking conversations with you, but you were so plain and common, one he can brush off as a local polite individual. You fitted in with the commonality that quickly and easily. Though his concern was your disinterest and ignorance to him, he once let his assistant to play a pre-recorded show to see your reactions to his killings reported

There it was. You and that spark of yours with that notepad and pen, writing so furiously like you were possessed. You were more expressive and childish even, swaying from side to side, tapping your feet, drumming your fingers. It was like he witnessed your true self. He confirmed it when the topic changed and like a switch, you were that mundane self of yours

It was all so fasincinating to him and he had to talk to the real you. So he staged this meeting. He was right on the money, you would start off with someone common, then poke at your interest, wanting him to start the topic so you’d be involved. Slowly and with time though, you’d just talk outright with him

It was routine for him, meeting you before his show at that cafe and in their secluded booth you basically marked your own when it was in the morning. He’s review his notes with you and then talk about the (his) killings with you, the newest discoveries, the clues that detectives and polices missed, all that juicy details you’d like

Another problem came. You saw him as a friend. He saw you as a romantic interest

To you, it was rare that you could connect this much with someone. No one back home, not even your closest family members and frends, would indulge with you in this interest of yours. No matter how much you spoke your thoughts on serial killers and their killings, Alastor didn’t push you away and even ask questions on your thoughts. You cared so much for him, as a friend, but he wasn’t your interest

To him, you were now one of his reason to kill more. That bloodlust was on par with the spark you’d have in your eyes when he struck again. Some poor victim died and you only focused on him, the killer! He once compared you to his friend Mimzy, she knew and helped his killings, but she didn’t give him the same joy and bubbly emotions he’d have when talking to you about his kills. It wasn’t the same. So were you the one? The one to his cold dark heart.

And he confessed. More than just his feelings

“My dearest darling, I would be so honoured if you’d agree to allow me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to officially court you.”

“No.” There was no hesitation in your voice, nor was there a pause. “Sorry, Alastor, I just considered myself married to serial killers. Or at least, this one in your town. I love them no matter what. So I can’t accept your feelings. But I hope we can continue being fr—”

Alastor held onto you, it was just a stroke of luck that this place was the secluded forest he was familiar with. He kneeled down on one knee and kissed your knuckles, his eyes staring straight at you with that crazed look in his eyes and that murderous grin he only let his victims see, “Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Alastor, the Bayou Serial Killer.”

Note: I had SO MUCH FUN writing for this. Thank you for suggesting this, Any~ (I’ll just call all the anonymous asks this from now on). I would tag the person but this is anonymous request (╯︿╰)

Requests are open, but keep in mind of what I wrote in the Masterlist. I’ll ultimately decide whether or not to write for them. Thanks!

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[audreyscribes]

Ω PJO DEMIGOD HEADCANONS:

⚔ ARES: God of War and Violence 🐗

author's note: I had a sudden idea about writing some headcanons Camp Halfblood demigods being claimed and what it's like for each respective god and cabin, followed by a small blurb afterwards. Thank you for reading and please like and reblog! The order is not in order of the cabin numbers. [PJO DEMIGOD HEADCANONS MASTERLIST]

When you get claimed, it’s either during or after a victorious battle. If it’s during a battle, like Capture the Flag, it’s when your blood is pumping and you’re on adrenaline high. You could be losing or winning, but you hit that point of state where you’re just so in the zone before you realize you’re covered in red. You decimate the other team, striking fear in their hearts as they see you running over their teammates, your weapon swinging like it’s your own limb. Everyone looks above your head as they see the floating red boar above your head and then you hear a roar of cheer from your now half–siblings. They let out whoops, howls, and cheers, slapping you on the back and some wrestling you if you’re still battle high, before they lift you up and carry you around. 

When you’re shown the cabin, you’re immediately nerved by the boar head posted above the door, its eyes following you…but you can’t focus on that because you’re immediately told and made to remember where the live mines are around the entrance. They didn’t clarify if they were actual mines or alternative mines…they said it was classified information and you didn’t have the clearance level yet. Either which you didn’t want to find out the hard way.

If the Hephaestus cabin is the forge, you bet you can imagine that the Ares cabin is their armoury. It's not on the scale as theirs, but its pretty close. Weapons galore. It's a weapon maniacs dream. You have equipment here to upkeep and maintain weapons and if you pick out a weapon that you're not sure how to maintain? You have siblings jumping up the chance to show you. 

You wanna try and wield different weapons? Go on ahead! Every Ares’ member has their own mini armoury and collection of weapons. 

Y'know how siblings like to push each other and get into play fights? Yeah, the Ares cabin is like that constantly. It goes from rough housing to actual sparring. If you're not a big fan of participating in it, you're going to learn how to redirect people's movements. Don't worry about it getting the heat off you, as long its not entirely personal, you have another Ares’ sibling ready to switch with you. 

You also begin to take on bets because with the amount of rough-housing and sparring, it's just too good of an opportunity. The currency ranges from actual dollars, drachmas, candy bars, or what have you. All currency is accepted.  

People often like talking with their fists, but it's mostly getting rid of the pent up emotions when you guys do some talk to talk. Got to be fair you know.

If you're not particularly looking for a fight, don't worry about it. While it is true, you're a war god child, you're also good at de-escalating. After all, there's a reason in the book, "The Art of War", Sun Tzu says "The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting".

Blood was roaring in your ears with eyes red as you gripped your weapon high. Your veins were pumping with adrenaline, almost making you shake but you never felt more alive. You had just won and you thrust up your weapon high in the air, and let out a yell. Immediately, a cacophony of cheers and yells joined you, sending another spike of adrenaline and you faintly saw the claim of Ares above your head. People swarmed you and in the zone, you attacked them which they gleefully returned back the favour. Then they lifted you up in the air, cheering that about another child of Ares as you were carried back to the Ares cabin where your siblings plopped you in front of it, and Clarisse at the head. 

She grinned at you, her figure imposing but you kept your chin high. 

“Not bad, but expected as a child of Ares. Don’t let it get to your head because there’s plenty coming” she said. 

“Bring it on” you fired back with a grin as she gave a smirk. 

“I’m Clarisse Rue, cabin leader of Cabin 5. Welcome to the Ares cabin.” 

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The health industry’s invisible hand is a fist

On June 21, I'm doing an ONLINE READING for the LOCUS AWARDS at 16hPT. On June 22, I'll be in OAKLAND, CA for a panel and a keynote at the LOCUS AWARDS.

The US has the rich world's most expensive health care system, and that system delivers the worst health outcomes of any country in the rich world. Also, the US is unique in relying on market forces as the primary regulator of its health care system. All of these facts are related!

Capitalism's most dogmatic zealots have a mystical belief in the power of markets to "efficiently allocate" goods and services. For them, the process by which goods and services are offered and purchased performs a kind of vast, distributed computation that "discovers the price" of everything. Our decisions to accept or refuse prices are the data that feeds this distributed computer, and the signals these decisions send about our desires triggers investment decisions by sellers, which guides the whole system to "equilibrium" in which we are all better off.

There's some truth to this: when demand for something exceeds the supply, prices tend to go up. These higher prices tempt new sellers into the market, until demand is met and prices fall and production is stabilized at the level that meets demand.

But this elegant, self-regulating system rarely survives contact with reality. It's the kind of simplified model that works when we're hypothesizing about perfectly spherical cows of uniform density on a frictionless surface, but ceases to be useful when it encounters a messy world of imperfect rationality, imperfect information, monopolization, regulatory capture, and other unavoidable properties of reality.

For members of the "efficient market" cult, reality's stubborn refusal to behave the way it does in their thought experiments is a personal affront. Panged by cognitive dissonance, the cult members insist that any market failures in the real world are illusions caused by not doing capitalism hard enough. When deregulation and markets fail, the answer is always more deregulation and more markets.

That's the story of the American health industry in a nutshell. Rather than accepting that people won't shop for the best emergency room while unconscious in an ambulance, or that the "clearing price" of "not dying of cancer" is "infinity," the cult insists that America's worst-in-class, most expensive health system just needs more capitalism to turn it into a world leader.

In the 1980s, Reagan's court sorcerers decreed that they could fix health care with something called "Prospective Payment Systems," which would pay hospitals a lump sum for treating conditions, rather than reimbursing them for each procedure, using competition and profit motives to drive "efficiency." The hospital system responded by "upcoding' patients: if you showed up with a broken leg and a history of coronary disease, they would code you as a heart patient and someone who needed a cast. They'd collect both lump sums, slap a cast on you, and wheel you out the door:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4195137/

As Robert Kuttner writes for The American Prospect, this kind of abuse was predictable from the outset, especially since Health and Human Services is starved of budget for auditors and can only hand out "slaps on the wrist" when they catch a hospital ripping off the system:

https://prospect.org/economy/2024-06-13-fantasyland-general/

Upcoding isn't limited to Medicare fraud, either. Hospitals and insurers are locked in a death-battle over payments, and hospitals' favorite scam is sending everyone to the ER, even when they don't have emergencies (some hospitals literally lock all the doors except for the ER entrance). That way, a normal, uncomplicated childbirth can be transformed into a "Level 5" emergency treatment (the highest severity of emergency) and generate a surprise bill of over $2,700:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/27/crossing-a-line/#zero-fucks-given

The US health industry is bad enough to generate a constant degree of political will for change, but the industry (and its captured politicians and regulators) is also canny enough to dream up an endless procession of useless gimmicks designed to temporarily bleed off the pressure for change. In 2018, HHS passed a rule requiring hospitals to publish their prices.

Hospitals responded to this with a shrewd gambit: they simply ignored the rule. So in 2021, HHS made another rule, creating penalties for ignoring the first rule:

https://www.cms.gov/priorities/key-initiatives/hospital-price-transparency/hospitals

The theory here was that publishing prices would create "market discipline." Again, this isn't wholly nonsensical. To the extent that patients have nonurgent conditions and the free time to shop around, being able to access prices will help them. Indeed, if the prices are in a standards-defined, machine-readable form, patients and their advocates could automatically import them, create price-comparison sites, leaderboards, etc. None of this addresses the core problem that health-care is a) a human right and b) not a discretionary expense, but it could help at the margins.

But there's another wrinkle here. The same people who claim that prices can solve all of our problems also insist that monopolies are impossible. They've presided over a decades-long assault on antitrust law that has seen hospitals, pharma companies, insurers, and a menagerie of obscure middlemen merge into gigantic companies that are too big to fail and too big to jail. When a single hospital system is responsible for the majority of care in a city or even a county, how much punishment can regulators realistically subject it to?

Not much, as it turns out. Kuttner describes how Mass Gen Brigham cornered the market on health-care in Boston, allowing it to flout the rules on pricing. In addition to standard tricks – like charging self-pay patients vastly more than insured payments (because individuals don't have the bargaining power of insurers), Mass Gen Brigham's price data is a sick joke.

See for yourself! The portal will send you giant, unstructured, ZIPped text files filled with cryptic garbage like:

ADJUSTABLE C TAPER NECK PLUS|1|UNITED HEALTHCARE [1016]|HB CH UNITED HMO / PPO / INDEMNITY [34]|UNITED HEALTHCARE HMO [101604]|75|Inv Loc: 1004203; from OR location 1004203|52.02|Inpatient PAF; 69.36% Billed|75|Inv Loc: 1004203; from OR location 1004203|56.87|Outpatient PAF; 75.83% Billed

https://www.massgeneralbrigham.org/en/patient-care/patient-visitor-information/billing/cms-required-hospital-charge-data

These files have tens of thousands of rows. As a patient, you are meant to parse through these in order to decide whether you're getting ripped off on that HIP STEM 16X203MM SIZE 4 FEMORAL PRESS FIT NEUTRAL REVISION TITANIUM you're in the market for (as it happens, I have two of these in my body).

Kuttner describes the surreal lengths he had to go through to prevent his mother from getting ripped off by Mass Gen through an upcoding hustle. By coding her as "admitted for observation," Mass Gen was able to turn her into an outpatient, with a 20% co-pay (this is down to a GW Bush policy that punishes hospitals that charge Medicare for inpatient care when they could be treated as outpatients – hospitals reflexively game the system to make every patient an outpatient, even if they have overnight hospital stays).

Kuttner's an expert on this: he was national policy correspondent for the New England Journal of Medicine and covers the health beat for the Prospect. Even so, it took him ten hours of phone calls to two doctors' offices and Blue Cross to resolve the discrepancy. The average person is not qualified to do this – indeed, the average person won't even know they've been upcoded.

Needless to say that people in other countries – countries where health care is cheaper and the outcomes are better – are baffled by this. Canadians, Britons, Australians, Germans, Finns, etc do not have to price-shop for their care. They don't have to hawkishly monitor their admission paperwork for sneaky upcodes. They don't have to spend ten hours on the phone arguing about esoteric billing practices.

In a rational world, we'd compare the American system to the rest of the world and say, "Well, they've figured it out, we should do what they're doing." But in good old U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!, the answer to this is more prices, more commercialization, more market forces. Just rub some capitalism on it!

That's where companies like Multiplan come in: this is a middleman that serves other middlemen. Multiplan negotiates prices on behalf of insurers, and splits the difference between the list price and the negotiated price with them:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/07/us/health-insurance-medical-bills.html

But – as the Arm and a Leg podcast points out – this provides the perverse incentive for Multiplan to drive list prices up. If the list price quintuples, and then Multiplan drives it back down to, say, double the old price, they collect more money. Meanwhile, your insurer sticks you with the bill, over and above your deductible and co-pay:

https://armandalegshow.com/episode/multiplan/

The Multiplan layer doesn't just allow insurers to rip you off (though boy does it allow insurers to rip you off), it also makes it literally impossible to know what the price is going to be before you get your procedure. As with any proposition bet, the added complexity is there to make it impossible for you to calculate the odds and figure out if you're getting robbed:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/04/house-always-wins/#are-you-on-drugs

Multiplan is the purest expression of market dynamics brainworms I've yet encountered: solving the inefficiencies created by the complexity of a system with too many middlemen by adding another middle-man who is even more complex.

No matter what the problem is with America's health industry, the answer is always the same: more markets! Are older voters getting pissed off at politicians for slashing Medicare? No problem: just create Medicare Advantage, where old people can surrender their right to government care and place themselves in the loving hands of a giant corporation that makes more money by denying them care.

The US health industry is a perfect parable about the dangers of trusting shareholder accountable markets to do the work of democratically accountable governments. Shareholders love monopolies, so they drove monopolization throughout the health supply chain. As David Dayen writes in his 2020 book Monopolized the pharma industry monopolized first, and put the screws to hospitals:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/29/fractal-bullshit/#dayenu

Hospitals formed regional monopolies to counter the seller power of consolidated Big Pharma. That's Mass Gen's story: tapping the capital markets to buy other hospitals in the region until it became too big to fail and too big to jail (and too big to care). Consolidated hospitals, in turn, put the screws to insurers, so they also consolidated, fighting Big Hospital's pricing power.

Monopoly at any point in a supply chain leads to monopoly throughout the supply chain. But patients can't consolidate (that's what governments are for – representing the diffuse interests of people). Neither can health workers (that's what unions are for). So the system screwed everyone: patients paid more for worse care. Health workers put in longer hours under worse conditions and got paid less.

Kuttner describes how his eye doctor races from patient to patient "as if he was on roller skates." When Kuttner wrote him a letter questioning the quality of care, the eye doctor answered that he understood that he was giving his patients short shrift, but explained that he had to, because his pay was half what he needed, relegating him to a small apartment and an old car. The hospital – which skims the payments he gets for care – sets his caseload, and he can't turn down patients.

The answers to this are obvious: get markets out of health care. Unionize health workers. Give regulators the budgets and power to hold health corporations to account.

But for market cultists, all of that can't work. Instead, we have to create more esoteric middlemen like "pharmacy benefit managers" and Multiplan. We need more prices to shovel into the market computer's data-hopper. If we just capitalism hard enough, surely the system will finally work…someday.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/13/a-punch-in-the-guts/#hayek-pilled

[yandereunsolved]

You're My Cult Leader - ,, yandere Kai Anderson

tw(s): yandere themes, Kai fuckery, graphic gore, suggestive themes, Kai threatening to cross your boundaries, descriptive depictions of anxiety and panic attacks, self harm, (Kai) glorification of self harm, talks of mental hospitals & mental illness, demonization of medication & mental health (influenced by Kai), baby trapping

ꨄ︎ He found you by pure accident. He was scrolling through Reddit on r/AITA when he found your account. You were asking if breaking up with your partner after they had a mental breakdown and pushed you down the stairs made you a bad person or not. Interest sparked in his mind. If you were this insecure that you had to get validation from others when your ex was clearly in the wrong, you must be easy to manipulate. He wanted to see more of who and what you were, so he hacked your accounts. He didn't do anything more than scroll through him and store your information and passwords marked 'Serpent' on a file put on a hard drive he keeps of all his cult members. He keeps it just in case they try to betray him. They wouldn't dare go against him if they knew he had all of their skeletons locked in his closet. 

ꨄ︎ He marks all of his files with the names of mythical animals. All cult members go under one large file named 'Serpent'. In his inner circle, he has another file named 'Sphinx'. As he learns more about you, he compiles an entirely separate file just for you. He names it 'Phoenix'—an immortal bird that cyclically regenerates, obtaining new life by rising from the ashes of its predecessor. He even begins referring to himself as Phoenix when around his other members. Of course you don't know him; you two haven't even had a conversation yet, but you are already part of his cult. It was just a matter of putting a few more things in place to have the perfect meeting.

ꨄ︎ What he didn't expect was to actually begin to form an attraction to you when he had his little 'excursions' with you, stalking you wherever you went. He resents this. You aren't worth his time and attention. He is the divine ruler, a being of divinity. You are just another lamb to be slaughtered within the confines of his cult. Yet he notices how wide your hips are, how good your medical history is, and how motherly you are. He stores it away in his mind. You'd be a good possible womb to store his messiah baby in. He does need the best genetics. It doesn't matter if you are afab or amab; you are having his baby.

ꨄ︎ He introduces himself to you after you had a shitty day at work. He invites you out to your favorite cafe. Huh, how did he know? He knows everything about you. Including what you do in the privacy of your bedroom when you think no one is looking. He speaks to you like an old friend or a lover. You two really seem to have a genuine connection. He's a smart guy, 135 IQ; he toured in Iraq; and he graduated with a double degree. Not to mention, when he stood up and stretched, you could see his muscular physique underneath his gray sweatshirt and joggers. Now you want to know more about him, see him more, and get the validation you crave because you have been starved by others. Just as he planned.

ꨄ︎ It's so strange that after that, the people you hated most started disappearing. It was all over the news. People started seeing you as bad luck. Some people thought you were just a serial killer who hadn't been caught yet. Others thought it was because of some twisted secret admirer of yours. They would both have reasons to think that. The bodies came up in parts. Each on the bed in their bedroom. They were cut into chunks and placed to make little hearts. First, there was nothing else. Then the killer got bolder with the weird smiley face drawn in blood. Eventually, the killer or killers had another collective sign off: 'From F.I.T.— your divine ruler.'

Not even the police would touch you. No one would. Only Kai was there for you in those trying times. He drove you deeper into his grasp. Not suffocating at first just so you wouldn't see it until it's too late—like a boa constrictor constricting around its sleeping prey.

ꨄ︎ He offered you a place to stay and promised to protect you from the evils of the world. He makes you as scared of the outside as possible. Think of all the horrors out there. Can you not see the killings all over the news? Can you not realize that the country is being flooded with dangerous people? Are you so unaware that someone could slit your throat if you so much as stepped outside the door? Kai is there to stoke your fears, like feeding an ever-growing flame by placing more wood in the pile. He makes you so paranoid that you aren't even sure if being around him is safe. He assures you being around him is the only safe place. He subtly threatens to take his protection away if you disobey him.

ꨄ︎ You don't interact with Winter. You actually aren't allowed to. Kai expressly forbids it because he's afraid his sister might make you queer. Sure, you are allowed to look at her and maybe make small talk if she is around you and Kai, but she isn't allowed alone with you—ever. Kai just can't risk it. He knows how tempting women can be, and he can't let his precious little lamb be tempted by his sister.

ꨄ︎ He begins integrating you into F.I.T. even though you are unaware. You don't exactly know what it's called, but everyone seems to treat you kindly. Not too kindly, though; Kai doesn't want your affections to be given to one of his ungrateful, pathetic followers. This is really the first touch of human interaction you have had in months, other than Kai, of course. It's like a new breath of fresh air. You may refuse to leave the house and Kai's side, but at least you have more people to talk to. It's like torture when Kai leaves you all alone. No one else is allowed around you, not that you know that. You only know that they seem to distance themselves almost purposefully, even methodically. It's like Kai is ripping your very heart out of your chest and taking it with him when he leaves.

ꨄ︎ Sometimes it's even worse when his 'friends' are around. He acts all aloof and distant with you. He calls you slut, whore, little one, and worst of all—sweetheart. Whenever he calls you sweetheart, you know you have messed up around the others. During their meetings, you are forced to sit in his lap. Most of the time, he forces you to straddle his waist. If you speak or even squeak, he'll scold you in front of everyone. You always end up having hickeys on you the day after. You always have some sort of hickey or bruise on you. He'll occasionally kiss you on the neck during these meetings. At first, you were uncomfortable. You tried to confront him about it, and he brushed you off.

"You like it, don't lie. You like all of the attention on you. You are my little slut after all."

You wanted to argue, but he had a way of making you speechless, so flustered that you became light-headed. After that, you didn't argue much on the subject.

He doesn't actually allow you to listen, either. He makes you wear these stupid ear plugs that make you feel so idiotic. You only know he scolds you because that's when he takes the earplugs out. He calls these meetings his 'private business'. You don't press him on it because he's already done so much for you. Someone out there is stalking you. Kai is keeping you safe. It's the least you can do to stay out of business; he doesn't want you in.

ꨄ︎ If you are good during these meetings, he rewards you with an outing. You have to stay by him the entire time. That is one of the unspoken rules of being with him. However, that's not really a problem for either of you. That's pretty much the only time that you are outside. He doesn't outright say it's a 'date', but that's what it is to him. You may not know it, but you two are practically married in his eyes. He just has to train you some more. You need to be entirely dependent on him—submissive, feminine, and motherly. That's all he wants. He has given you so much. He just needs to take a little from you. It isn't that big of a deal.

ꨄ︎ You first witnessed Kai's true cruelty when he stapled that poor man to death. You pinkie promised him that you would stay by his side. You pinkie promised that you wouldn't run. So you stood there and watched, and everyone took turns stapling him in the head. The blood gently dribbled down his face, almost peaceful—in complete contrast with the monstrous act being committed. 

He made you kneel before him. He swiped a strip of the oozing blood off of the man's face. He stuck his finger in your mouth and made you lick it off. He asked if you were truly devoted to him as he planted the last staple in the back of the guy's neck. He asked again, his voice more alluring than any song a siren could sing.

"Are you completely and utterly devoted to me?"

You said yes. Why wouldn't you?

"Prove it."

He stood above you with the staple gun discarded on the floor. That night was a lot different than all the other times you 'proved' yourself to Kai. It was much more passionate and tender. You were unable to even move from your spot. It was like nothing else existed except you and Kai. It was addicting. You needed more of him, even more than before. 

It was like that night he had cast a spell on you that stripped away any personality or ideals you had from your previous life. He had broken every part of you. You were now repurposed clay. You were made into a brand new clump for him to mold with his skilled and nimble fingers. You will be his greatest creation yet, for you are completely and utterly his—forever.

ꨄ︎ However, while molding, he's careful not to be too harsh with you. In a way, it's the gentlest and most honest part of Kai you will ever see. You see the moments when he has flashbacks to those times. You get to see when his shoulders heave due to the overwhelming anxiety he feels. You see the few tears that slip from his face. Part of him feels that you have earned this part of him. Another part wants to push those feelings so deep down into the darkness of his soul that they never have a chance of getting out.

ꨄ︎ You'll only see it in subtle ways. At night, he won't force you to snuggle with him, but he'll urge you to. He'll wrap his arms around you and gently whisper about how he'll protect you from all the bad things in this world. It's true on some level. All of this is truly for you. He just can't show his love like a normal man. One thing is for sure—he promises to never be a man like his father. He shakes when he thinks about him, his muscles tightening and his breath shortening. It makes him want to hold you in his embrace forever. To kiss you like it's the last thing he'll ever know. That small and hidden part of him craves your loving touch. That part just wants to be coddled and told he's a good boy. Just telling him you're proud of him is enough for him to drag you off to the bedroom.

ꨄ︎ He makes you pinkie promise. Naturally, you have to tell him everything first—your fears, your fantasies, and how much you love him. He finally speaks a bit of his past. It's the first time you see him breakdown. The first time he has a genuine emotional response. The mask slips only for a moment, but you're hesitant. You know, sometimes he manipulates you—maybe. That's what one of the others told you before they were killed. Still, it seems real, and it feels real. You can't imagine him telling anyone else such private things. He pulls you into a hug and rocks you back and forth. He sticks his face in the crook of your neck greedily. He treats you like you'll disappear with one blink of his eyes.

"You aren't ever allowed to leave me, darling."

He's gritting his teeth, and suddenly the Kai you know all too well is back. From time to time, you can't help but wonder: How much of old Kai influenced new Kai to be so helplessly entranced by your very presence?

ꨄ︎ No part of you is hidden from him. No part of your body is left unseen or explored. There is no part of your personality that he hasn't memorized. There isn't any memory that he hasn't plucked from your head already. If you remember anything, even the most mundane, you are under strict orders to allow the words to fall from your lips—no matter what you were doing before. There are no 'boundaries', in most cases. Kai is an asshole, but he isn't that much of an asshole. If you've been a good little lamb, then there's no need to bring up painful memories. He wouldn't want his obedient servant to be plagued with fear of others in their heart. However, act bratty, and he has no qualms of making himself a new set of memories for you to gain PTSD from.

ꨄ︎ The first time his hold on you loosened a bit is something you won't ever forget. You were looking for him when you heard moaning. Meadow had gone missing earlier, and you were worried. You found her partially tied up, and your heart broke in two. Kai looked back at you with no emotion in his eyes. He simply dismissed you with a 'get out'. 

You were so horrified that you quickly packed up and ran from the house. You snatched a stack of emergency bills that Kai always kept under his mattress. You slept in some shitty motel for a few nights. You planned on escaping to another state and starting anew. If you could just get a phone, you could call someone. Yet your heart was torn in two. Those tendrils of fear were wrapped so tightly around your mind that you were paralyzed with indecision. You love him, but he was cheating on you. He was supposed to protect you from the world! You forgot the most important lesson—to protect yourself from him.

You had multiple panic attacks each day while hiding in that motel. You feared stepping out of the door. You just couldn't do it. The 'what if' was too much. You knew that, rationally, no one was going to jump out and kill you. Right? Right...? RIGHT? You couldn't even open the door. Your hand reached the knob, and yet you couldn't open it. You just sank to the floor and continuously sobbed. You couldn't stop the feeling of dread and weakness.

What was he going to do when he found you? That thought had your head spinning. Your legs just gave out then and there. It was the one question that ran through your mind like a never-ending track carrying the train of your anxious thoughts. 

You had to get breakfast delivered to your room. You had to wear your clothes for multiple days. You didn't have any toiletries except the ones provided by the hotel. You were too paranoid to even take a shower. You needed Kai. You still needed him. You couldn't even breathe correctly without him!

ꨄ︎ You finally broke down. It was like he knew you would. You went to that campaign of his. You were barely able to step outside, but the promise of seeing him made you more than eager to leave. Once you spotted him, all your fears seemed to melt away. Then you saw Meadow shoot him. Your heart broke again—she fucks him, and then she shoots him? Who the hell does this woman think she is? 

You saw her turning the gun on herself, but you beat her to it. Another woman was screaming at the both of you. She took the gun. You just kept hitting Meadow. You don't know what came over you. All the bitter jealousy and hatred from that night just came up. You let it all out on her. Eventually, you heard a snap. That same woman was screaming at you and pointing the gun at your head. You killed Meadow. You snapped her neck. You felt good, in control. A part of you even liked it.

You didn't get to mull over it because the cops arrested that woman and led you away. You rushed up to Kai, who was on a stretcher. The emergency medical responders tried to push you away. Kai grabbed your hand and pulled you down onto him. With his other arm, he dug his nails into the side of your head. He sloppily made out with you until you were pulled away.

"It was all for you, baby. Come and ride in the ambulance with me. You've been bad—and you'll atone for your sins once I get better."

Those are the words he whispered in your ear. Your mixed emotions led you to feel so much, but how could you refuse? A moth is always drawn to a flame, just like you are always drawn to Kai. Hopefully, you won't get burned again by his lies and deceit.

ꨄ︎ Once he is home from the hospital and recovering, he chastises you. He screams, pushes things, and threatens you. He can feel actual tears filling his eyes at the fact that you tried to leave him. How dare you.

"Can't you see you worthless slut!? This has all been for you. I had to get Meadow out of the way for you and for us. Yet you run off to some shitty motel and hide there? You are pathetic."

Wait, he knew about the motel? Of course he did. He just wanted to allow you to make your own choice. Sure, he was going to drag you back to him anyway, but you coming back somewhat willingly just proves the control he has over you. It feels so good to have you twisted around his finger.

ꨄ︎ He makes you cut yourself because of this. It's a punishment that he often uses. He wants you to feel what he feels when you disobey him. Sometimes he cuts you himself. He teases the burning wounds and touches them. He kisses each one of them and licks the oozing blood leaving your veins.

He sees it as just another way for him to claim you. He feels that possessive urge inside of him cool when he sees the scars you have given yourself because of him. He enjoys cutting extra deep into your skin to hear those pained whimpers escape your sweet lips. He gets even happier when you get self-conscious about them. 'No, baby, you are so beautiful with those scars.' It's just another way to control you. You have to live off that praise from him, affirming your self-harming behaviors.

ꨄ︎ It evolves into a ritual. When he gets really pent-up, he cuts you up and drinks your blood. He tells you that's the most divine thing he's ever tasted. He kisses you and makes you taste yourself. He'll swirl your own blood around in your mouth with his tongue. He'll barely allow you to breathe. It's like it restarts his mind. He's calm after. He feels like a blank slate.

He once did it in front of his cult. You were sitting in his lap. You could feel him growing more livid and tense. He pulled out a pocket knife and gently knicked the side of your neck. He licked and kissed the blood away. He promised to give some of your blood to his inner circle if they all proved themselves to him. No, they aren't going to be allowed to touch your skin. They may drink from a vial. You are dreading the day that it becomes a normal practice within the cult.

ꨄ︎ That isn't the only punishment you'll get if you severely misbehave. He isn't against locking you in the basement and chaining you up. He'll deprive you of food and water and will only give his body to you as sustenance. Later on, he builds a metal cage in the basement. He uses it both for torture and to shove you in there if you are disobeying him. The cage is much worse than being chained to a wall. If you get chained to the wall, at least he'll let you near him. If you get caged, then some random follower of his just comes down and throws whatever shitty rations in between the bars. Most of the time the food isn't even edible—mold and other infectious diseases are tainting it. The little bit of water you get is wasted when they throw it on you.

By the time you are let out, you are malnourished and touch starved. Kai always makes sure to give the most heavenly aftercare. He whispers sweet nothings in your ear and tells you that this didn't have to happen; all you had to do was behave. He gives you a bath with rose petals, and he gets out the fancy lotions, oils, and shit that he can't even pronounce. He makes sure that you have a fresh pair of clothes and the best meal one can dine on. He even took it slow with you that night. He is passionate and loving.

It's a side of him you rarely get to see...

ꨄ︎ Sometimes you want to act bratty just to see if you can get brown-haired Kai to come out and play again. It's a treacherous game. One wrong behavior, and you may end up kneeling before him, cutting yourself up for his entertainment once again. You can just do little things to manipulate him just a tiny bit. You are his well-trained bitch that occasionally loosens their collar and nips at their owner playfully. You have learned how to manipulate from the best, after all. Most of the time, Kai understands your angle, but rarely can he be tricked into misunderstanding your true intentions. 

ꨄ︎ Accidentally getting hurt can be one way to possibly soften him up. Although you do have a half chance of just being called a clumsy bitch by him. If it is someone else, accidentally or not, hurting you, not even the deities from the highest of heavens can save that person. He'll either beat them to death in the moment or plan their slow torture and subsequent death in the cage downstairs. After taking care of the filth, you may see a little bit of brown-haired Kai. He'll take care of any cuts or bruises and kiss your temple. You may or may not have paid that asshole five bucks so they could push you on the pavement and threaten you. You were scared to death that Kai would realize what you were doing, but it was more than worth it.

That's just one way that you can manipulate him into letting brown-haired Kai come out and play. 

ꨄ︎ Another one is if you cook for him. If you make him a good manwich, dressed up all pretty with an apron on, he is melting inside. He has this starstruck and dopey expression on his features. It's quickly replaced by indifference, but he is elated internally. If you bake, then all bets are off for cult leader Kai. He's oddly sweet when tasting your sweets because it allows him to regress back to a state of almost childlike innocence. It reminds him of when his mom would bake things with him and teach him to bond with him. His father always thought it was making Kai soft and a sissy, but he refrained from making those comments most of the time.

When you bake those sweets, it's like a positive trigger for him. He'll take a bite and wrap you up in his arms. He'll gently pepper kisses on your face and compliment your skills. A little bit more of brown-haired Kai comes out. He almost seems shy, nervous, and unconfident. Kai doesn't even realize he is acting like this. He just feels safe, like he is home.

ꨄ︎ He puts tracking chips in all of your things after your first attempt to leave him. Anything and everything has some sort of chip in it. He secretly enjoys hand-sowing the chips into all of your clothes and undergarments. It feels so oddly intimate to him. It's just another way to claim you as his. It makes him feel all giddy inside. All the chips are waterproof and extremely durable. He has access codes to all of them and can connect to them through any device he has. If you try to escape one too many times, he will chip you on your inner thigh. That way, he can casually rub his hand over your plush thigh and press his thumb right over where he implanted the tracking chip. It's his favorite way of reminding you that you have no way out—no possible escape from his binding grasp.

ꨄ︎ It doesn't stop there, no. He puts cameras everywhere. Some are in hidden places; others are not. He enjoys just flipping through the cameras on his phone while listening to some idiotic citizen complain about something miniscule for the thousandth time. You were wearing his clothing, just sitting in your shared bed and watching your comfort show. You were enjoying yourself with that innocently lewd expression adorning your now placid features. You just seemed like such a cute house spouse. He may have to excuse himself and go take care of a problem. What? You're just being so good for him. It makes him swell with pride.

ꨄ︎ If you are good enough, then he may allow you the privilege of having internet access. Of course, he is monitoring it. When he is in a good mood, he will act like he is your sugar daddy. Which he technically is, because he pays for everything and you are physically incapable of stopping him. Your wishlist is his. He keeps a list in your file about the types of gifts you like. 

You may just occasionally be surprised with the same exact thing that you had favorited awhile ago. You know it's always Kai doing it because he always buys some lacy or risqué for you to wear. He gifts you; you gift him with your body. Lingerie is just human wrapping paper, after all. He enjoys the present under the wrapping the best. 

He also scrolls through the media you watch. Any political content has a parental lock on it. It has to be approved by him before he allows you to watch it. If there is something intriguing that you decided to watch when you thought you had privacy, Kai may just barge in and ask if you'd like to recreate it.

ꨄ︎ If you get a period... Kai will track it. He will always make sure you have the right period products, foods, and medication. No, nuh uh—he swears he isn't doing it because he just genuinely cares and doesn't want to see you in pain he didn't cause. He's doing it because he can't have the future parent of his messiah baby harming their womb. It wouldn't be responsible if the divine ruler didn't treat your fertility with the respect it deserves. 

You're probably a lot luckier if you are able to get a period. He's a lot more lenient with you. He'll allow you to have mood swings and crying fits. He'll let you eat all the chocolate and sweets you want, as long as you eat the balanced meals he provides. He'll treat you like a god(dess) during that time. When no one is around of course. He completely focuses on your happiness and pleasure during that time.

ꨄ︎ When he gets arrested, you have another panic attack. You had finally settled into a comfortable routine with him. You had succumbed to Stolkhome syndrome. You were just content with it. Your anxiety and fears were still higher than ever, but Kai protected you from all the bad things. Now, the bad men want to take him away from you? You get interviewed many times. You refuse to speak. They call you a victim of his manipulation. They see your scars, and after a doctor gives you a physical examination, they conclude that Kai is an absolute monster. They had to give you anesthesia for the physical examination. It was the only time you talked with any of the police or detectives. It was more like shouting than talking. You thrashed, twisted, and turned to escape them.

In this way, it just proved that Kai was right. They said you were brainwashed by him. No, you weren't. Kai saw the truth in the corrupt institutions. They violated your boundaries for no good reason. Kai violated your boundaries, but for good reasons. You deserved it when he crossed them.

ꨄ︎ They declared you mentally unwell and put you in a mental hospital. You went willingly only because you wanted to be away from the scary people. You only got newer and scarier people. They made you strip, and you had to be constantly watched. It made you yearn for Kai's safety and control.

You lied to get out of it. You said that you were scared to cooperate at first. You weren't brainwashed by him. You were only acting like it because you feared him. They believed you, and within a month, you were out of there. They put you on anxiety and anti-depressants. They urged you to also get a therapist to work through your trauma.

ꨄ︎ You disregarded them. You didn't need therapy! You didn't need some bullshit medication! That's what Kai always said. The medication and psychologists were just there to warp your mind. They aren't there to help you. They are there to make you conform into what society believes is 'mentally well'. You just have a little problem. It's all just fake. Kai would tell you if you had problems. He helps you out. He keeps you safe. He'll tell you what to do.

ꨄ︎ You helped him escape prison. Naturally, it was hard to get in to visit him because some of the guards had heard whispers of what Kai had done to you. With a little bribe, you managed to secure a monitored conversation with him. He threatened the guard, and suddenly your conversation wasn't monitored anymore. Kai was so unbelievably proud of you. He was so proud of how loyal you are. He rewarded you for such a good job. He remarked you with hickeys and bruises, so people know who you belong to once again. He possessively rubbed circles into your inner thigh over your tracking chip. You wouldn't let the bad men take it out, and because of a lot of red tape, they legally couldn't do it without your consent. It just made him ready for another round. How did he get so lucky to have a person like you who loves him so dearly? A lot of abuse, manipulation, and Stockholm syndrome.

ꨄ︎ As you sit on his lap in one of the visitation rooms, he formulates a plan with you. Soon enough, you are dressed in a guard's uniform and stressed out of your mind. You were barely able to help him escape. Your hands were shaking the entire time. You must have taken over half of the bottle of that stupid anxiety medication just to get through it. You were a little out of it and threw most of the pills up after. 

Kai had to punish you for taking medication you weren't allowed to. He just worries about you, okay? They almost got his little lamb. He couldn't have your personality numbed by any 'medication'.

ꨄ︎ It all climaxes when he confronts Ally while she is running for senator. It was all such a blur. One moment they were arguing, and the next Beverly tried to kill Kai. You managed to tackle her and wrestle the gun out of her hands before she shot him. You got shot instead, in the gut. The next few months are extremely hazy for you. You kept going in and out of a coma. When you awoke, a lot had changed in Kai's world, but you remained ever-present.

ꨄ︎ You learned that Winter was gone. You didn't feel much. You didn't get to learn the details of it. It could have been way before you were even aware. Kai always kept you out of the loop about those things. He said it was to protect your pretty little head. You listened to him. You'd always listen to your divine ruler. Kai managed to slander Ally and turn everyone's opinion around. Suddenly, Ally was the one who had abused you and fed you all these lies about Kai. She was arrested and sentenced to death. Beverly met a worse fate. She was brutally mutilated in the same way that your, you forget, you had a stalker once—didn't you? You can't exactly remember.

You know Kai had a hand in it. He always has a hand in everything.

You learned that he truly was a cult leader. Your memories were so repressed and damaged that you were unable to connect the dots. You were overjoyed that Kai won the senatorial seat. He was heading towards the presidential seat next. With that, he had you married. A ring on your finger, forever. A divine ruler did need his spouse. It is crucial.

ꨄ︎ He made sure that you recovered and were right by his side while campaigning. He had a book ghost written for you about how evil Ally Mayfair-Richards was and how a vile feminist cult twisted your mind. Most of it was just sugar-coated lies. Kai's abuses were in there, but they were all said to just be minute things that Ally spun into a defaming web of lies.

He campaigned with you and made sure that all of your clothing was appropriate. He only let you show your scars when it would win him polling points. He still wanted the cutting to be just a you and him thing. He didn't need the press to see the fresher scars and cuts and run a slander campaign against him.

His possessiveness did occasionally overpower his need to dominate the world. He would always keep a hand on your waist, have at least one eye on you, and scare anyone off that tried to get too close to you.

ꨄ︎ It climaxed when he realized he needed to push family values. So he announced your pregnancy during an interview on some right-wing news platforms. You were understandably confused. You aren't pregnant. Kai plans on fixing that. All day and night, he is trying to fill your womb. He is so desperately making it so you will have his heir. Part of it is just publicity. Another wants his messiah baby really badly. He needs to baby trap you so you don't ever leave him. He needs to ultimately mark you as his. What better way than a child? The miniscule brown-haired part of him just wants to be a better father than his own. He just wants to be a better husband for you than his father ever was. He wants to make his mama proud, wherever she is in the afterlife. You wouldn't deny him this, would you? You've already given him so much. Just a little more, and he'll be satisfied. To think this all started with your silly little Reddit post. 

.ೃ࿐ -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- .ೃ࿐

⟿ taglist: @coentinim @bluerthanvelvet444 @cxndiedvi0lets @doll3tt33 @lacucarachapisser @etheral-moon @fear-is-truth @slutforgarlogan @newwavesylviaplath @fuckedbykai @violet1737 @marchsfreakshow

.ೃ࿐ -ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- .ೃ࿐

[hero21us]

Gold Reigns Supreme

Brody, a dedicated member of the Golden Army soccer team, has always admired Trey’s track and field prowess. He follows Trey’s career closely, inspired by his relentless dedication and impressive achievements. However, recently, Brody heard unsettling rumors about Trey’s sudden disinterest in his sport and his peculiar obsession with a black rubber polo shirt. This strange behavior reminded Brody of his former teammate, Christian, who had disappeared soon after obtaining a similar shirt.

Brody decides to reach out to Trey.  Trey agrees to meet at a local outside gym.  Trey is sitting alone on a bench, lost in thought when Brody catches sight of him.  Taking a deep breath Brody walks over, his heart pounding with anxiety and anticipation.

“Hey, Bro,” Brody begins, trying to sound casual. “Thanks for meeting me.  I heard about your experience with a black polo shirt.  How are you doing?  Trey looks up, his eyes filled with a mixture of relief and apprehension. “Brody, thanks for reaching out.  It’s been tough but I’m okay.” 

“Trey, Brody begins, you may remember that the Golden Army brought on a new wingback, Christian #55, a few months ago.  Wanting to prove himself during his first game he did not stay in his position or listen to our captains’ instructions ultimately costing us the match.  His life became hell after that match.  One day he showed up to practice wearing a black rubber polo just like the one you described. 

He began handing out the polos to the team saying that we would win if we became one, obey and serve.  Some of the team seeing his focus and intensity accepted the shirts. They all quickly stopped caring about the team and our matches.  All they wanted was for everyone to start wearing the polos.  When no one else on the team would accept the polos, Christian and those who did all vanished.”

Brody continues, “Reading the stories about your experience I am hoping you might have some information or insight that can help me to find out what happened to Christian and the rest of my teammates.”

Trey takes a deep breath and begins to share his experience. “It all started when I received a package from 009, filled with advanced workout gear. Each outfit seemed to enhance my performance, but the last item was different—a black ‘Fred Perry’ rubber polo shirt. When I put it on, I felt an incredible surge of energy.  I was able to focus, increase the intensity of my workouts and be more synchronized with the team while running the 4x400 relay.

One night after a great workout two men in black came up from behind and put a gas mask on me.  The gas did something to change me.  I no longer had a will.  I existed to obey, serve, be one with my brother drones in the collective.  Our command was to make all men one, united in the black rubber polo.  I was specifically commanded to not wear the polo but to spread the love of all things rubber and polo.  I was to put the shirt on at night along with a gas mask.  The tight rubber shirt on my skin combined with the gas was intoxicating.  It was so powerful and overwhelming that it became impossible for me to act normal.  I needed the rubber and the gas.  I needed to be one with the collective at all times.” 

“I couldn’t have broken free without my friends.”  Trey continues.  “They physically tore the polo off of me and destroyed the gas mask.” 

As Trey and Brody talked a figure emerges from the shadows striding toward them.  Its movements are unnervingly precise, its body clad in black rubber with a black “Fred Perry” buttoned up polo with gold accents and a laurel leaf on its left pec.  Most striking of all was the gas mask obscuring its face, the lenses dark and impenetrable.

It carried another gas mask in its hand.

“Trey,” the figure states in a voice that is deep, monotone and eerily robotic, yet disturbingly human. It is less a voice and more a command programmed to sound alive. “You are required to wear this.”

Trey jumps up, a chill running down his spine, a look of terror on his face.  He remembers the nights he spent under the influence of the gas, how it clouded his mind and made him act against his will. "What the hell? No way! Never again!” "I won't go back," "I’m not a puppet, and I won’t let the collective control me."

But the drone persists; "Resistance is futile. The collective will prevail," he drones, reaching out to place the mask on Trey with mechanical precision.  "You must return to the collective. Your purpose is to spread the unity of the collective." “For your safety. Resistance is prohibited.” 

Brody steps forward; his tone confrontational. “Hey, back off! You’re not forcing anything on him.” 

The polo drone’s head tilts slightly, as if recalculating its approach. 

"Resistance is futile. The collective will prevail." It states matter-of-factly as it suddenly lunges at Brody, attempting to secure the mask over his face. Brody dodges, shoving the polo drone back. Trey joins the fray, grabbing the drone’s arm and pulling it away from Brody.  The gas mask it is holding falling to the ground.

The battle is fierce, each moment filled with tension and determination.  The polo drone displays remarkable force, but its movements seem pre‑programmed, predictable. Trey manages to lock its arms behind its back while Brody reaches for the polo drone’s mask.

The polo drone fights like an animal; its desperation palpable. It claws and thrashes, trying to reclaim the gas mask and put it on Trey. But Brody and Trey hold tight, their combined strength overpowering the drone's frantic attempts.

“If there’s someone under this, we’re pulling them out!” Brody yells, his fingers prying at the mask’s straps.

The polo drone’s muffled voice protests. “Unauthorized action. Cease immediately.”

“Yeah, no thanks,” Brody grunts. With a final tug, the mask comes free landing on the sidewalk, and the two friends stumble backward.

Beneath the mask is a pale, sweating face. The man looks disoriented, his eyes blinking rapidly as if waking from a nightmare.

“Who... where am I?” the man stammers, his voice trembling.

“Christian!” Brody snaps. “Is it really you?”  You just tried to force that gas mask on me!”

Christian looks at the two masks on the ground and begins to reach out for one before Trey stops him.  He reaches for it again becoming more agitated.  Brody holds him tight.  Christian’s attempts become more frantic, his addiction driving him wild. But Brody keeps an iron grip on him determined to keep him away from the mask.

"Look into my eyes Christian. “You will be okay,” Brody states, his eyes beginning to glow gold, while offering Christian a big hug.  “We are here for you!” 

Slowly Christian begins to calm down.  He stares at his own trembling fingers.

“Where have you been for the past few months?” Brody asks.

“I—I don’t remember. The last thing I recall, I was at Pulse waiting for Cap.  He arrived with someone else who I didn’t know. Then... nothing.” 

While explaining and continuing to stare into Brody's gold eyes and the aura of gold that now completely surrounds him, the gold begins to return to Christian’s eyes.  Slowly the black polo is absorbed into Christian’s skin as his gold jersey reemerges bringing a clarity to his mind. 

In a trance like state, Christian continues; “Bros, after I f*cked up during the match I went into a deep depression.  I lost all my confidence.  When cap put the polo on me, I felt my focus, intensity and ability to synchronize with the team return. It was empowering.  Then the gas mask was put on me and all that focus changed to obeying, serving and growing a collective. Nothing else mattered.”

“What are you saying?”  Brody asks.

“It was not the polo that made me fight for the collective but the gas.  I can still feel the polo within me.  It is now part of my being.  It has united itself to the gold within me to sharpen my focus and intensity in order to support the golden army.”

Impulsively Trey decides he must destroy the gas masks. Spotting two kids walking through the park on the way to baseball practice, he runs toward them and grabs a bat from one of them. Running back, he is about to smash the masks.

"Stop!" Brody yells. Trey freezes in place. "What?"

Without a word Brody grabs a mask, and to the horror of Trey and Christian, places it over his face. He becomes frozen and blank his individuality beginning to drain as the mask blacks out Brody's gold eyes. At that exact moment a group of polo drones emerges and surrounds the three men holding polos and gas masks repeating: "You will submit. You will obey."

Brody is standing frozen in place lost to the gas. The drones are approaching. Time seems to have stopped for Christian and Trey not knowing what to do.

Brody's head twitches slightly. It begins to shake. The back eye sockets start to glow. Brighter and brighter as a gold spiral appears. Brody's gold aura shines brighter than it ever had before. His jersey becomes metallic in nature and shine. The entire mask turns gold and a gold gas seeps out from the edges of the mask.

The polo drones freeze mid step.

After what seems an eternity to Christian and Trey, but is only a few seconds, Brody removes the gas mask as if nothing had happened.

The eye sockets of all the polo drones surrounding them have become gold spirals. A gold gas can be seen swirling behind the lenses. They stand erect facing Brody and in unison intone: "We are one. We obey gold. We serve gold. Gold is supreme. Awaiting commands."

"Gather all drones to the pitch where team management will provide instructions," Brody commands. The drones turn and walk away in unisan.

Brody, Christian and Trey, all exhausted and overwhelmed, leave the park supporting one another to find a place where they can rest and process all they have just experienced.

A few months later Trey wins Olympic gold in the 4X400 wearing his gold proudly wanting nothing to do with polos or drones. Christian rejoins Brody and the team on the pitch wearing his black rubber polo during the day filled with confidence, focus and intensity while easily shifting into his gold jersey which shines brighter and stronger than it ever had before. The polo drones remain mindless and obedient to every command of the collective which has become gold. The collective supports the Golden Army in all things. It only assimilating members of the golden family who willingly submit. The polos obedience being reinforced by wearing the black rubber polos and the gold gas flowing through their masks.

[jogetsobsessed]

Electricity - Paul Lahote x reader

This is a longer one, I plan on writing a small blurb based on the ending! -jo:)

The waves were crashing against the jagged rocks that stood above the waterline of the second beach. There were different groups walking along the coast, and a particular family, one that had stopped at the market before heading out to the beach, caught your eye. 

It was a younger couple with their two young children. A baby was strapped in a carrier to the woman's chest, happily kicking its legs as the mother cooed down at it. The father was a few steps ahead keeping up with the toddler. A little girl with bright blonde pigtails bounced as she ran ahead. Collecting seashells and stuffing them in the pockets of her pink polka dot raincoat as she went along, every once in a while turning back to show her dad the newest treasure that she had claimed. 

It was a picture-perfect image, one that made your heart swell. You had never had that as a child, your parents split just months after your birth. And in an unusual situation, they each took a child. You remained in the care of your father while your older sister was in the custody of your mother. 

But you never did mind, and you feared that you would never get to experience that with your future family. 

------------

You grew up in the woods. Running barefoot clad in jeans and second-hand t-shirts coming home when the street lights turned on, dirty like a feral child. The children that you were surrounded with when you were younger had the same spirit as you. All of you ran together, creating your own realities that didn't have anything to do with the real world. 

Growing up spending more time on the rez than in town was frowned upon for most non-members of the tribe. But you were one of the rare exceptions. After your father became a single father to an infant while also being the chief of police he turned to one of his longest friends asking for his help. 

This ended up being a best-case scenario because you were then placed into the care of an elder in the Quileute community. She ran an informal home daycare, helping out members of the community when they needed it. 

There you grew up alongside a group of kids who accepted you from day one, even though you weren't from the reservation. It didn't matter to them, children are not born with the biases that plague the minds of adults. 

The lot of you ran wild and were known all around the reservation for being thick as thieves. You all did everything together, one person's experience was everyone's experience. The ups and downs of living in a small community, family problems that no children should have to experience, and more. 

Many nights were spent jumping out of your bedroom window and riding your bike to the reservation crashing it in the front yard of whoever house you were spending the night at. Crawling into the dog-pile sleeping arrangements where you always had your best nights of sleep. 

The friendships that you made as a child filled the void of absent family members. You made time for your father but no matter how hard he tried you could never be his top priority, since the town you called home and the surrounding communities relied on him. The pain in his eyes was always present when duty called and he had to leave you, but you knew that he felt better when you spent time with your friends, he hated leaving you alone. 

-----------

The door crashing open tore you away from the window and brought your attention to the front of the store. The bodies quickly ran into the couple rows of shelves and you knew who it was immediately. 

Not wanting to rain on their parade you acted oblivious, shouting out your usual greeting for customers and rolling your eyes. 

There was some rattling and you heard hushed arguing before four bodies jumped out shouting. Not even caring at your lack of a reaction, all four doubled over in laughter. You could have sworn your eyes were going to roll into the back of your head but you were used to their stupidity by now. 

Slowly they all came out of the laughing fits and came up to the counter, Jacob hopped up on the counter and you gave him a quick shove off, Embry and Quil laughing at your actions. Paul leaned against the counter, opposite of where you stood, with Embry and Jacob mirroring his actions and Quil hopping on the counter this time. And when you didn't march over to push him off Jacob started to bitch, causing you to roll your eyes at him again while Embry was the one to shove him this time. 

“Come on Y/N what are we doing tonight, we were talking about driving into Forks and going to the drive-in?”, Quil said as he absentmindedly organized the postcards in the little display stand. 

“Yeah they are showing Dazed and Confused, way better than that romcom crap that they show all the damn time”, Embry laughed. 

“Why the hell do you even know what a romcom is?”Jacob teased. 

They began to argue and bitch at each other, Quil chiming in when he found it possible. You watched the argument waiting for them to be done when a rough hand tapped yours. 

Paul was still standing on the other side of the counter in front of you, one of his fingers was ever so slightly grazing your own. 

This was normal for both of you. The feelings that you had for him were mutual, though you would never admit it. Terrified at changing the dynamic of the group when you inevitably break up because the fairytale of high-school sweethearts doesn't work out more than it does. And staying friends with him was more important than the love that grew each time you saw him. 

You gazed at him, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding in. This always happened to him too. Sure you felt safe around any of the boys and trusted them all, but in the past year or so something changed about the way you felt towards Paul. And it wasn't because of your crush, since that had been around well since you entered your teenage years. 

Maybe it was because Paul had been the one tasked with explaining the existence of the shifters since you had accidentally found out when you witnessed Jared and Paul getting into it over something stupid one of them had said to the other one summer evening while you were sitting on the porch at Paul's dad's house. 

This was during the time when your friend group was split. 

-----------

Jared and Paul had been cast out, spending more and more time with Sam Uley after they underwent inhumane transformations at record speed. You had hardly recognized Paul when you saw him after a few weeks of not seeing him. His long hair was gone, and his physique was impressive, and a tattoo now decorated his arm. And when you saw Jared a few days later, he was the same. 

They both had given you the cold shoulder at first, but you weren't going to put up with their crap. They could have their little catfight with Quil, Embry, and Jacob but that was none of your business. Something must have happened that you had not been let in on, which pissed you off but you weren't going to lose friends over it. 

So you split your time between the two groups now, seeing them only on separate occasions, never telling the others that you were hanging out with the opposite group. 

So there you sat on Paul’s father's porch, it had been a normal day and then something was said and the day was ruined. 

You had watched in horror as both of their bodies contorted and spun and their human forms were gone and giant wolves appeared in their place. As they snapped and lunged at each other you stood up from the porch and sprinted to your bike. Pedaling as fast as you could all the way out of the reservation and to your house. 

Ignoring calls from both of them for a couple of days until Sam Uley showed up at your house. He held a bag of Harry Clearwater's famous fish fry that he was delivering to your father. No doubt running the errand for the old man to get the opportunity to talk to you. 

You didn't know him the best, only hearing more about him in the recent weeks when Embry was referring to him, Paul, and Jared as hall monitors on steroids. 

So as you tried to stick to your death glare towards him you relinquished after he asked several times for you to come by Emily’s, guilt-tripping you saying that Emily missed seeing you since you had stopped helping her out with working at the market.  

That night Paul had sat you down on the back porch and explained that the legends you had grown up hearing as you crashed the bonfires as children were in fact true. It was a hard pill to swallow but you felt a sense of importance being one of the few interested in the secret. 

Over the next few months, you watched as the rest of your friends went through the transformation as well, being able to comfort them when they wanted nothing to do with the other boys. 

-----------

“Y/N please tell Jacob that he's an idiot”, Embry pleaded. 

“Jake, you’re an idiot” 

“What the hell Y/N?”

“And Embry you're an idiot two, the both of you are idiots”, Paul and Quil both let out hoarse chuckles as they tried to stifle their laughter, at the two idiots with their jaws dropped. “And besides I can't do anything tonight, as soon as my shift’s over I’m out of here. My sister got here today. Charlie’s making me be there when he gets home from picking her up”. 

“Ah, that's right Isabella is making her grand return, how long has it been, four, five years?”. Quil wondered. 

“Try seven or eight”, Paul answered before you had the opportunity. You hummed in response and you began your end-of-shift duties, counting the money in the till since you were the closer. Greedy hands tried swiping some money as you counted and placed it all in the envelope. Handing the sealed envelope to the most responsible of the bunch which was Paul after he was given the strict instructions to hand it directly to Emily you bid your farewells as you hopped in your car and sped off towards town. 

-------------

The old wooden clock slowly tickled by as you sat on the worn-down couch waiting to hear the familiar sound of the worn-out brakes of your father's squad car pulling into the driveway. Your phone was lighting up every few seconds indicating new text messages coming in, no doubt from the boys and Leah begging you to meet them at the drive-in. 

There was no use in telling them no, none of them took the answer “no” very well. And even if you wanted to meet them, your dad had asked you to be there when your sister got here, and he hardly asked you to do anything so you felt like you couldn't bail this time. 

Picking at a loose string on the couch you were dozing off when finally the squeaky brakes could be heard signaling a sign of relief. 

Spend a few hours catching up with your sister and then meet the pack at the drive-in and catch whatever movie was playing after Dazed and Confused. 

The door pushed open and you pushed yourself off of the couch, preparing mentally for the awkwardness that was about to ensue. 

The last time that you had talked to your sister was over two years ago. A phone call that had ended sour, led to the two years of radio silence. Neither of you wanted it to go on that long but you both inherited the trait of being stubborn from your mother. 

“Bell’s I’m sure you remember your sister, It's been a while though”, your father laughed with a dry chuckle as he passed by you heading into the kitchen leaving you to stare at your older sister in complete silence, except for the distinct sound of a beer being cracked open. 

“Hey”, you cringed at your own voice, sounding so weak. 

“Hi”, she matched your tone, looking very uncomfortable, more than she usually looked. 

Luckily you were saved by your father who waltzed back into the living room and headed towards the stairs, calling out for Bella to follow him. He motioned for her to head up the stairs while he looked back at you, eyes pleading for you to follow them. It was awkward for all parties involved. Groaning you grabbed the handrail to head up, his hand patting your shoulder in thanks. 

---------------

A few weeks had passed since your sister had arrived in town, and luckily she had found a few friends in Forks to occupy her time, but most days you were still forced to spend some time with her and show her around at your father's request. 

She wasn't the biggest fan of the reservation, since she felt uncomfortable. However, it wasn't often that she joined you when you went since a particular pale boy took up most of her time. 

To say that you weren't Edward Cullen's biggest fan was an understatement. 

He was awkward and gave you the creeps. The way that he stared at you was like he knew something about you that you didn't even know yourself. Plus you found it slightly concerning that Bella was spending so much time with someone that she hadn't even known for a couple months. 

Plus whenever you brought up the reservation he instantly became rude and annoyed, even though he too had not been living in Forks long enough to truly have an opinion. 

Bella had dropped you off at Emily’s house since your car had puttered out on route 110 when you were driving to Port Angeles to pick up some groceries you couldn't get in Forks or on the rez. 

Being at Emily’s house was your own personal heaven. Everything there seemed perfect even when it wasn't. The smell of baked goods met your nose every time you pushed the door open and within seconds Emily would pull you into a bone-crushing hug. Many days were spent sitting at the old creaky dining room table. The grooves and scratches that decorated it and showed the years of wear were familiar under your fingertips. You could trace one line and know where the pattern was going to lead. 

Today was no exception, you were sitting at the table grazing on some of the goodies that Emily had been working on, talking about nonsense and listening to the soft melody that was floating out of the old radio that rested on one of the many cluttered shelves. 

None of the pack was in, Sam had sent them on various missions and errands to keep them busy and out of trouble, so it was one of the rare moments where it was almost silent. 

That was until a familiar orange truck came to a screeching halt outside. As soon as you caught a glimpse of it your anxiety spiked, your sister had no reason to be here. Emily shared a similar look of concern as she set down the bowl of muffins that she was mixing and came around to meet you at the table. 

Glancing out the window you saw your sister stumble out of the truck after Embry and Jared, looking like she had just seen a ghost, or maybe a werewolf. 

The boys ran into the house as if nothing was wrong, crashing into the table and snatching some goodies for themselves. Bella slowly made her way up the stairs. 

She had dropped you off and picked you up a few times, but she never left the driver's seat of her Chevy. 

“Who’s this?”, Emily asked in an attempt to break the ice since the two had never formally met. 

“Bella Swan, who else?”Jared mused smirking at you knowing that this whole situation had your skin crawling. 

Bella knew about vampires, you were sure of it. 

The amount of time that she was spending with Edward was inevitable. But you were trying your hardest to make sure she didn't find out about the wolves. She didn't need to be involved in both supernatural worlds. 

Vampires were not something that you knew much about, the basics were necessary since the legends of the tribe reference them. The questions that you had were extensive but you always played it smart and refrained from asking them since any mention of the leeches got the pack all worked up. 

But now you knew your weeks of trying to keep her in the shadows were for nothing. As you learned that your sister had stormed into the Black’s house demanding to see Jacob. 

He was trying to distance himself as well since Bella was getting more comfortable in Washington and was beginning to ask questions that Jacob couldn't answer due to Sam’s gag order and the looming threat that you placed…answers equal his murder. 

Bella had gotten pissed since one of her only friends was ignoring her and decided to find out why for herself after Jacob completely stopped returning her calls. 

This led to her finding Jake outside talking to the pack, and Bella inserted herself into the conversation and argued with Paul before punching him in the face. That led to Paul phasing and then Jacob phasing to protect her.

Bella had been traumatized, rightfully so but now you were in a predicament because she knew, and you were going to have to admit that you had been hiding something this big from her. 

Your sister moved closer towards you, standing next to your chair, taking the muffin that you were extending towards her. No words were exchanged between the two of you as Jared and Embry continued to spill the secrets of the Quileute tribe. 

You were so caught up in the bickering boys that you hadn't noticed Sam waltz in until he was all over Emily. The sight of true love made your heart swell. 

The sweet moment was quickly ruined by two pairs of feet stomping up the steps of Emily’s front porch, the two tanned boys shoving each other and pushing through the open front door. Paul strutted towards his usual seat at the worn table, right next to you. 

He looked past you and towards your sister, uttering a quick sorry. The tone of smugness made you want to gag at how idiotic he was and you could have sworn you heard Sam whisper a quick “oh my god”. 

Jacob was grinning as well, that was until he spotted Bella. You could have sworn your heart was going to pound out of your chest. The awkward tension in the air felt like it was going to strangle you. You didn't dare to look at your sister, even though you could feel her eyes staring at the back of your head. 

Luckily you were saved by the man of the hour after he motioned for Bella to follow him. As she pushed herself off the counter her hand found its way to your shoulder, and the look of anger and disappointment on her face affected you more than it should have.

She disappeared back the way she came and you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. Your head was now resting against your folded hand, trying to calm yourself down. A hand was immediately on your back, rubbing small circles. 

The electricity that you felt let you know immediately who it was. Paul was now standing behind you, even though you didn't even remember him standing from his seat next to you. You couldn't see it because of your closed eyes but no one else dared to speak in the room because of the anger that was displayed across Paul's face. 

-------------------

“What the hell are you saying?”. 

“Bella, will you just shut your mouth, you are throwing a fit for absolutely no reason. Last time I checked the world did not revolve around you”. 

“It's called common sense Y/N, you knew this secret about people that we grew up with”.

That was it. 

That comment was what had caused you to start charging across the front yard towards her. And if you hadn't been at Emily’s and the pack wasn't standing by you would have given her the punch to the face that was so deserved. 

But you hadn't been so lucky since the minute you took off charging Paul's arms slung around your waist and pulled you in tight. 

Jacob had moved Bella to the side, but it was for nothing since you quickly relented and held up your palms signaling that you were calm. Although you had calmed down, you weren't done laying into your sister. 

“Bella as much as I’d love to come over there and beat the shit out of you for thinking the world revolves around you I won't. You had no right to know, it not only puts you in danger but it puts the pack in danger as well. And also you didn't grow up here so you can shut your mouth with that nonsense”. 

It was silent for a second except for the soft sounds of the forest that blanketed Emily’s house. That was until Jared's voice broke through the air. 

“Woah”. 

Bella was at a loss for words, for once. Instead of bickering back with you she huffed and puffed for a second before saying something to Jacob. She hadn't whispered it but she was far enough away that you could only make out a few words, most of which were not in favor of you. 

But you didn't care, Bella meant nothing to you. You had found your own family and she had found hers. 

----------------

 Since Bella found out about the pack the two of you had been at each other's throats. 

At home, when the two of you were together it was only a matter of time before you began bickering. Charlie had picked up on it and asked you both what everything was about. But it wasn't like you could explain to your father that you were arguing because she had a supernatural boyfriend and you had a supernatural best friend of a different species and they happened to be mortal enemies. 

You know the usual teenage sister drama. 

More and more of your time was spent on the reservation. It got to the point where you were spending days on end at Emily’s or one of the boys not even going home to get more clothes. 

Quil’s grandma had offered for you to move in with them years ago and these days you were truly wondering if the offer stood. 

Because even though Emily offered you the guest room every night you were starting to feel bad, like you were a barnacle stuck to the side of a boat. 

“Do you want any help Em?”. Soft music was playing on the radio in the corner of the kitchen, the house decorated with beautiful flower arrangements that Emily had put together the night before. All of them had bloomed in her garden which she had been buzzing about since she planted them a couple months ago. 

“If you could make the salad that would be amazing my darling Y/N ''. There was a hint of teasing in her voice. Something that the two of you had picked up on, seeing how it amused the pack to see the two of you interact as a fake couple. 

Sam had been annoyed at first but Emily had straightened him out, lecturing him on how she knew he was strong enough in his masculinity for Emily to have fun and joke around with her friends. 

She made Sam apologize to you which was a sight that the entire pack was cruising around to see their leader do what his girlfriend said to do. 

“Of course dear, I will be right on it”, you replied giggling. 

Emily and you spent the next couple hours enjoying the silence before the pack burst through the door ready to eat the dinner that Emily had so graciously prepared. 

After the meal everyone migrated out back, most of the boys opting to play an impromptu game of soccer. 

Sam and Emily were snuggled together underneath a blanket on the old outdoor couch that sat on Emily’s porch. You sat on the porch swing, using your left left to slowly rock yourself back and forth as you watched the game. 

Unintentionally you found a thread sticking out of the cushion on the swing and started to absentmindedly pick at it. You were so caught up in it that you didn't notice the dip on the other side of the porch swing until an unnaturally hot arm was placed around your shoulder, 

“Destroying Em’s property over there are you?”Paul's tone was teasing and if that wasn't clear enough the smirk on his face spelled it out clearly. 

“Keep your voice down, you're gonna work Sam up”, your tone matched his. Both of you peering over at the happy couple lost in their own romance, they looked like a pair of high school kids, sneaking kisses and sharing giggles. 

Slowly you laid on Paul's bare chest and snuggled against him, gladly accepting his radiating body heat. 

This wasn't abnormal for the two of you, sharing such a vulnerable position. 

Sure, you snuggled against the other boys when you were cold, but never like this, never so intimate. 

With Paul, it was different, the connection that you felt with him allowed you to be so vulnerable and comfortable with him. It was an unspoken connection, neither of you acknowledging the sparks that you felt. No doubt the other boys had teased him about how soft he was when it came to you. 

-------------------

Months had gone by. 

Bella was practically living at the Cullens. 

And you were couch-surfing on the reservation. 

Charlie was dealing with his own mess at the department and you didn't want to risk running into your sister at the house for the sake of your own sanity. 

It was summer time so neither of you ever being home was a red flag to him, but you knew that you were going to have to come up with some excuse once the leaves started to change. 

It was a particularly hot day when you had drug out the kiddy pool from the back of your car. It had been stashed there all summer, something you impulsively bought on a trip to Port Angeles. Never really intended to use it, that was until temperatures soared into the hundreds. 

Emily’s house was kind of the home base for the pack and had become your home base too. That's why you didn't feel weird about dragging the inflatable pool to the backyard and setting up camp for the day, even if Emily was out of town visiting family for the weekend. 

The pack was all supposed to be doing jobs around the reservation, helping make sure everyone stayed cool, so you figured no one would bother you and you would be able to have an afternoon of peace. 

Which worked out for a couple hours where you were able to just float and relax in the tiny pool. 

That was until you got drenched by someone splashing you. 

Aggravated you tore your sunglasses off ready to tear someone a new one, stopping when you realized who it was. 

“You're lucky it's you Lahote”. 

“Yeah…yeah make some room”. Paul didn't wait for you to even react and start to scoot over, instead taking matters into his own hands, pushing you gently to the side so he could recline to the best of his ability in the tight space. 

“Your damn body heat is gonna turn this into a hot tub”. 

“There is literally no need to be so dramatic”. 

You were facing each other, his feat extended past the side of your body while yours was pulled towards your chest. It was a defense mechanism, you were fine being in close proximity with Paul. But for some reason being in the kiddy pool suddenly had you the most self-conscious you had ever been around him. 

And if it wasn't like he had not seen you in a swimsuit before, I mean at this point with your relationship with the pack all the guys including Paul had “accidently” walked in on you changing. 

This felt different. 

The tension was building between the two of you. 

Maybe it was because it was so hot outside or because of the difficult year you had experienced but you felt as if your judgment was a bit clouded. 

Because as Paul scooted closer you matched his actions. 

Suddenly the two of you were face to face. 

You were frozen, not sure of the next move. 

You wanted to kiss him, you really did. But you weren't sure of his feelings towards you. 

That was until he finally made the next move and his lips found yours. 

The rush of euphoria was instant, there was something so satisfying about the kiss. It was like the electric sparks that you had been feeling for the past year were now met with a constant electric current. 

You were the one to break the kiss, instantly hiding your face to conceal the blush that had spread across it. 

Paul stayed still. 

You gave him a few seconds waiting for him to say something…but he didn't. 

And when you moved your face to get a good look at him your heart sank. 

He looked angry. 

And he didn't just look at it, he was all worked up, trying to control his breathing, his shoulders moving up and down at a rapid pace. 

He was gonna transform. 

“Y/N get out of the pool”. 

You were frozen with fear, his tone was so icy. He never spoke to you like this.

“Y/N get out of the pool now”, he practically growled the words. 

It was as if some invisible force flung you backward, you couldn't even process what you were doing. 

One minute you were sitting staring at the man you were in love with and the next you were stepping backwards in horror as you watched his clothes shred and his tanned skin be replaced by silver fur and then he was gone. 

Leaving you all alone, destroyed. 

----------------

It had been five weeks since you had seen or talked to Paul. 

It was as if he completely disappeared, just vanished off the face of the earth. 

Although you knew this wasn't the case because none of the pack members seemed too concerned, dodging all your questions when you brought him up. 

It was unbearable, to spend any amount of time with any of them. 

You knew it was because they all had some big secret that they wanted to tell you, but couldn't. 

And frankly, it was just making you mad at this point. It's why you never wanted to get romantically involved with any of them, because of this. 

One day you had reached your breaking point though. 

It was early one weekend morning, one where you had actually slept at Charlie's for the night since you had been feeling awkward on the rez. And you had sent a text to Quil asking if he wanted to get breakfast at your shared favorite spot on the reservation. 

His text back simply contained one word; “Can’t”. 

And when you texted Jared and Embry you were met with the same response. 

So you did the unthinkable. 

Pulling your clothes on and making yourself look more presentable than normal you put your car in gear and drove to an unfamiliar house. 

The only reason you knew where to go was because you had been with your father once when he needed to stop by it really quickly. 

-------------

You had intended for the drive over to be a time to think about what you were going to say without having to say that all your friends were being assholes and you just don't want to be alone for the day. 

But instead, you cried when a song came on the radio that reminded you of your said asshole-ish friends. 

So now here you were fixing your makeup that had run down your face giving yourself a monitor pep talk to prepare yourself to be the bigger person. 

Finally getting out of the car and walking to the front door you reluctantly knocked.

Within a flash a ghostly person was standing in front of the glass door, looking at you at first with curiosity and then pity. 

Luckily you didn't have to say your friends sucked, he just knew. 

-----------

The Cullens had welcomed you into their home with open arms. 

Something you never would have suspected considering if they only had one hater in the world it was you and if there were no haters in the world then you must be dead. 

But that was before, you had put most of it behind you. 

Choosing to see their positive qualities and attributes and not focusing on the negative. 

Being in their home was such a stark contrast from being at Emily’s 

The atmosphere and the way everyone interacted, which was one of the downsides to the Cullens house, felt so formal compared to Emily’s and you felt so out of place. 

But regardless you made yourself as comfortable as possible, attempting to repair your relationship with your sister. 

On this day in particular most of you were upstairs, lounging in the living room, light conversations taking place, nothing too heavy to disrupt the calm environment. 

Until Edward shot up from his place next to Bella on the loveseat. His brothers followed immediately, his sisters following just moments later. Bella and you remained seated, unsure of what to do. 

She opened her mouth and started to speak but a loud snarl caught both of you off guard. Bella looked perplexed but you knew right away who it could belong to. Jumping off the couch you 

The Cullen-Hale siblings were crowded around their front porch, blocking your direct vision but it didn't matter you knew who it was. 

sprinted downstairs. 

“She doesn't want to see you”

“You need to leave” 

“Get off our territory mutt”

Pushing past the stone-cold bodies shielding your view felt like a mistake. Because there he was. You could see some of the anger leave his face the moment he saw you but it returned as soon as Emmett's hand found its way to your shoulder. 

“Get your hands off her”

“Not happening, you need to leave”

“I’m giving you three seconds” 

“He’s not gonna listen to you mutt” 

“Take your hands off my imprint right now or I am not going to have a care about whatever the treaty says” 

Time stopped still. 

Have you heard him correctly? 

Did he just call you his imprint, I mean there was no way. He had to have been lying. You had been around Paul practically every day since his genes kicked in, minus all the times you had been arguing. 

And not once did he tell you anything about you being his imprint, in fact, he got off the topic every time you brought it up. 

No one dared to move, besides Paul who was heaving his shoulders up and down, trying to fight off the impending shift. 

Carlisle moved to say something to Emmet, something you couldn't hear but whatever it was it made his hand swiftly retract from your shoulder. 

This time Carlise came up next to you whispering, “You better go with him Y/N”. 

----------------

How you wished to be a fly on the wall. You wished you could see what was going on right now in Emily’s backyard. 

Paul and you had decided it was neutral ground, and that way if Paul got worked up the pack could hopefully talk him off the ledge. They were all inside, on Sam’s order but you had no doubt that they were listening to every single word that was being said, or better yet the words that weren't being said. 

You had sat down on the porch swing almost five minutes ago, Paul leaning against the railing opposite of you. He had opened his mouth as if to speak within the first ten seconds of being outside but no sound came out. 

“Paul, are you going to say anything?” 

He fiddled with a loose piece of wood sticking out the front of the porch railing, clearly embarrassed by the whole situation. 

It was something new. 

All of your years of knowing Paul you had never seen him like this. Embarrassment actually looked good on him, it was such a stark contrast from his confident cocky self, this whole thing was truly a humbling experience for him. One that you no doubt would be teasing him for once you moved past this awkwardness. 

“I wanna start with I’m sorry” 

“Why did you do it?”, your tone was accusing. 

“Do what?” 

“Paul don't act stupid” 

“Y/N please this is what I didn't want. I didn't want you to find out and then everything we had…our friendship would be ruined”. 

“Is it because you don't like me like that, like the way that imprinters like their imprints?”. 

Your eyes fought to see him, but he refused to look at you. And with the slight nod of his head, you felt your heart shatter. 

Slowly you started to push off the swing, ready to collect your bag from inside, but you didn't make it off the chair. His hand was clamped around your wrist, stopping you. 

His other hand found its way to your cheek, guiding you to look at him, wiping the loose tears away. 

“No, no baby, I mean Y/N I didn't mean it like that”. The hand felt surprisingly soft on your cheek, giving you instant relief. Looking up at him all you saw was fireworks. 

Your childhood crush, the man that you have loved since you were a child, was meant to be yours. Even the universe agreed. 

“Y/N I have been in love with you since we were fourteen years old, but I never said anything because I didn't want to hurt you. I don't know how to be in a relationship. My mom left when I was a kid, you know that whole story. And I don't have a good track record with relationships so far. I messed all of them up, and I would never forgive myself if I messed this one up too. I don't know if I could physically take it”. 

He was crying now. 

They were soft tears, slowly sliding down his tanned skin. He was pouring his heart out to you, and you had never felt so special. Everything in your life had been leading up to this moment. The moment when the universe aligns for you. 

“We can go at your pace, you don't need to commit to anything you don't want. I will do anything and everything for you, I will move heaven and earth for you, I will walk to the East Coast and back to pick you up if you ask”. 

Now he was rambling. 

“Paul I love you too”.

[sophieinwonderland]

Hiveminds and Multiplicity

When thinking about Hiveminds, I realized that hivemind connection is a spectrum, with many plural or plural-like experiences across it.

At the same time, both the beginning and end of this spectrum are singlet experiences. I decided to represent this with my own horseshoe theory.

Unconnected Individuals

This is pretty self-explanatory. These are totally separate individuals with their totally separate bodies. These are not even the slightest bit plural. Or, at least, not for any hivemind related reasons.

Mind-Linked

Now we drift into plural territory.

At this point, the individuals have some sort of mental link to each other. Mind links can range in levels of complexity.

At a low level, this may mean feeling each other's emotions or sensing when something really bad happens with no words or other communication. The most basic form of this might be "twintuition" in shows, where twins can magically sense when something happens to another no matter where they are.

At high levels, this can come with full verbal communication and other hallucinatory experiences.

Mind-linked systems often have strong barriers between them, only being able to transfer limited information, and maybe only in specific circumstances.

But the mind-linked are having plural experiences. They have someone else feeling their emotions, hearing their thoughts. It's very similar to sharing your mind with headmates. As this connection grows, they may end up becoming...

The Multiple Hivemind

At the top most point of the horseshoe, all mental barriers have been torn down.

They're still multiple people. They still have their own individual identities. But the link has become so great that they can read each other's thoughts whenever they want. They can share memories and skills freely between them, being both multiple and completely connected at the same time.

The Median Hivemind

Having achieved perfect connection, identity starts to erode. The median hivemind starts becoming its own collective identity.

Individuals in the median hivemind still retain agency and sense of self, but are also blending together more now and feel less like separate people.

The True Hivemind

At this point, there is no distinction between identity of the members. The hivemind is now one singlet spread across multiple bodies. A contrast and opposite to traditional plurality, which is multiple agents in one body.

...

We Can Get Weird With This...

Okay, that's a basic overview of how hiveminds work and evolve with singlets. But... what if some members of the hivemind aren't singlets?

Now things are going to get weird because hiveminds and mental links enable a lot of peculiar things that wouldn't be possible otherwise.

What if an old headmate goes dormant for years. In that time, the system becomes linked to a hivemind and specifically become either a median or true hivemind where they all identify as the same thing? What if that headmate comes back to find everyone else in the system is part of this hivemind with their identities melded into it, but the new headmate is still separate?

Or what if a multiple hivemind enabled headmates originating in the same body to front in multiple bodies at once, essentially allowing system hopping as a thing in those specific circumstances? What one of the members of an in-sys relationship used someone else's body (consensually) to be with their partner?

Or what if, for whatever reason, only one member of the system had the connection to the hivemind while the rest didn't?

Or... imagine that there are two systems with a strong mental link. They become a multiple hivemind with headmates able to speak freely to each other and even share an inner world. Then two headmates, one from each system, interact more and end up fusing. What does this mean? Which body is theirs? What happens if the link is severed?

Or in the same vein, what if a hivemind starts out as existing between 5 singlets? They become connected and end up being a multiple hivemind, and share an inner world. What if the hivemind created a tulpa together in this inner world, and none of the members are sure whose tulpa it actually counts as?

...

Anyway, if there's any takeaway from this, it should be that plurality is weird. Hiveminds are weird. And put them together and you get a weird sandwich. 😁

[sopaprimordialy]

Warriors HC collection - 1st Edition

Hey boppers! How are you doing in this beautiful night? I have some head canons for each crew waving from the station! Keep your radios tuned, boppers, and enjoy~

THE WARRIORS

The gang was founded by Cleon and Cochise. The next members (lieutenants) to join were Ajax, Sawn, Rembrandt, Cowgirl and last but not least, Fox. After the events of the album, Mercy became a Warrior.

At the beginning, they used Cleon's apartment as headquarters, but since the gang begun to expand its territory, and therefore recruit more soldiers, they had to find somewhere bigger. After much consideration, small confrontations with the local population and the police, they decided on an abandoned warehouse at the amusement park.

The place is decorated with murals of all the gang members painted by Rembrandt, with a main mural representing Cleon. At first, Cleon didn't feel very comfortable with the idea of ​​having a giant drawing of her on the wall of the HQ, but Rembrandt and the others insisted.

There are *some* young men in the gang as soldiers, but "coincidentally" they are all queer. The girls and the gays, literally.

Now that I talked about them in general, individual head canons ahead

CLEON

She's the oldest, and because of that some of the younger members see her as a motherly figure, but she prefers to be addressed as a mentor rather than that.

She's straight, but she's an ally (duh) and supports a lot of the queer community movements in Coney.

She knows how to sew and knit.

Masai and her started to hang out a lot after the events of the album, becoming very close. There are even some rumors that they are dating! 👀

COCHISE

She knows Cleon from when they were both young affiliates of other Coney gang that now is mostly dissolved or part of the Warriors, since they took over the entire region.

She's also straight, but she definitely experimented before.

She designed the Warriors' vest. The first ones were all handmade by Cleon and her.

Most stylish member of the gang.

Knows how to break dance (I don't remember who told me this but, pal, I'm stealing it now)

She's a huge Michael Jackson fan

REMBRANDT

Tagged the Wonder Wheel as her initiation (read We Need A Tagger for more information, I'm just agreeing with the author)

She's a lesbian 100% never even tried boys. She used to be very much closeted at the beginning until she realized the amount of queer people that crew actually had.

I usually don't really like shipping people inside the same friend group but screw that the fanfics are too good you're winning me. Rem x Ajax.

She's very introspective. She could go an entire day without saying a word if no one talked to her.

FOX

The youngest and the prettiest (not even a HC I just like this part of the song)

She LOVED going to arcades, and she was very good at it, meaning she even got into fights because of it.

One day she caused such a mess with local bratty teenage boys the Warriors ended up involved, and that's how she met Swan, who recruited her.

She was very intelligent, had quick thinking and enviable reflexes, which made her a quite decent fighter, despite still being a beginner.

Ajax is was teaching her how to fight.

She died at 18.

She was always sneaking into 21+ clubs using false identities to drink with the others. (I have a lot of friends that did stuff like that back in the day. I never had the balls 😂)

Because of that, the Warriors only found out her real age when she got caught and expelled from one of those clubs. Since them, they didn't allow her to drink.

She was bissexual.

AJAX

She's a drummist, and a very good one.

She ended up fighting Cleon before being recruited. The match was a tie, and to this day the mystery of who would have won hadn't Cleon invited her into the crew still stands.

She doesn't label herself as anything but queer, and she's obviously very gender non conformant.

As I said earlier, I'm starting to like Ajax x Rembrandt

She's actually very disciplined, have a good diet and a constant workout routine. She's probably the healthiest Warrior.

Swings at Swan a lot, but they don't actually hate each other.

Her favorite band is Queen, and her favorite song is another one bites the dust (also this reminds me I need to make a theory post about when the events of this album take place)

After the events of the album, she was arrested for two months until the Warriors, in a partnership with the Riffs, broke her out of jail.

SWAN

Swercy. They stay together after the events of the album, and they work very well as a couple.

She's a lesbian, but she dealt with a lot of homofobia from her family growing up, so she ended up being very insecure about it. When she got into the Warriors, this started to change, and now with Mercy it's changing for good.

She knows how to play the piano, but doesn't play as regularly anymore.

Her favorite band is also Queen, so Ajax and her have all sorts of discussions about their favorite songs.

She was kicked out of her home in Queens, and for a long time she wandered around the city and was kicked out of various gang territories until she finally made it to the far south of the city, where she joined the Warriors.

Because of that she was so reluctant in making her way uptown.

MERCY

She was Sully's girlfriend, but never actually liked him.

When the Warriors, a full female gang, appeared out of nowhere that night, she had the realization she didn't need to run with those suckers to be protected.

And that's why she ran away with them.

She's a lesbian, but dealt with *severe* hetcomp, hence she getting into various unsuccessful relationships with men.

This unhealthy way of dealing with her own sexuality and lack of attention comes from the fact that it has always been left aside by her own parents.

All she did that night counted as initiation and she was jumped into the crew by Swan. After everything they went trough, Cleon really didn't feel the need to formally initiate her.

COWGIRL

Straightest girl in the gang, which is not that much, but still.

She actually knows how to ride (horses)

And the other things too but that's just canon .

I HC all the Bizzies as gays that were just trying to convince them to go with them trough seduction, so I can imagine the very funny scene of Cowgirl going back there to finish what she started with the Bizzie who bit her and receiving only a "honey, I have very bad news for you... 💅🌈"

She cried about it for a week.

She loves country music (shoutout to my girl she'd love to meet Ana Castela).

She's actually very chill, but fights well when she has to.

She was born in a small town in the countryside and her family moved to the big city to try to make a living when she was around 10. A series of tragedies happened and now she is alone, which is why she ended up in a gang.

[live-emotion]

Session Live Event Guide

Clear live event missions and collect points and rewards by playing the event song collaboratively with other players! Basic rundown:

Play the special event song to get the most event points.

Event points naturally unlock rewards.

Use received pink tickets from event points (not blue tickets from missions) to redeem permanent costume unlocks.

Accessing the Event:

When the event starts, the app will restart/return to the home screen and inform you that the event has begun. A popup with the event's logo will ask if you want to be taken to the event page. Hit confirm on the right if you do.

Otherwise, you can navigate to the event on the tab between the MiniPri and Live Buttons, or the scrolling banner on the bottom left corner. You can also play the event by going to the normal Live page and playing the event song from there.

Event Page:

On the top right of the main event screen are three buttons:

Event Missions/イベントミッション Event missions only visible after you play a live.

Event Bonus/イベントボーナス Shows which URs give a bonus during the event.

Event Item Exchange/アイテム交換 Will take you to the event exchange tab of the item exchange page. Here you can redeem Event Tickets for permanent costume unlocks (different to the costume rental/costume rental tickets on live setup.)

To the left of the Live/ライブ button is your total current event points. If you tap here you can see the rewards that are unlocked as you get more event points.

Event Song/Gameplay:

Chose a song to play. All songs will reward event points, but the event song and use of the 'Event Boost' penlight item will greatly boost the amount of event points gained.

During the event, the event song is set to the 'All' attribute, meaning that any attribute of Piece will be equally affective.

Additionally, all players' Song Rank for the event song to MAX at Rank S, meaning that during the event all item drops and EXP will be x1.2 for the event song.

It seems to be best to play on the difficulty that you can consistently get the best combo with.

*Make sure to play the event song version, not the regular version.

Select an eligible idol, an Emotional Piece of them, and a costume. Below the displayed costume, you can 'rent' an event costume using Costume Rental Tickets (white with blue rectangle, these are different to the ones used to get permanent costume unlocks). Wearing the event costume will give extra event points.

It's probably best to choose your strongest eligible Piece of an eligible member to play the song.

Make sure to set the best option of Piece and outfit for each eligible idol, not just the one you're using. I assume the game may not always use your chosen member depending on the random people you are matched with. Swipe left or right, or use the arrows on the sides of the white box to change between characters.

You can use your items to help you during the song at the bottom of the screen (Shield, drop rate UP, event boost) as well as change the amount of LP consumed.

If you choose to play in 2d mode, this popup will confirm that the outfit you chose will not be shown. Check the box and tap the button on the right to confirm.

Play the song as usual. You may want to set the BG to 2D if you are prone to lag.

You will be matched with other players and play the song normally, but perform as if your chosen Pieces are one unit. Meaning, you will get bonuses depending on how well you and other people play.

Scoring:

Here you can see I earned 525 event points. At the bottom is displayed the next event point reward. Event points are calculated by: Song Bonus / 楽曲ボーナス Event Skill Bonus / イベントスキルボーナス Event Boost / イベントブースト (from using the glowstick item) Contribution Bonus / 活躍ボーナス

You will also be shown some statistics, like if you were the top scorer or had the highest combo of your group.

General Tips/Info:

Set your helpers to your strongest Pieces of each character, and use the strongest one.

If youre about to rank up before an event, its best to wait until it begins so you can use the extra LP as a boost when it starts.

Costume rental tickets at this stage are mostly useless once you have redeemed your first permanent costume. Feel freeto sue them for every live early on in the event since you won't need them later.

Event points, event boost (glowstick) item, costume rental tickets, costume exchange tickets, and some items gained from event login bonus will expire after the event period.

Setting LP usage to 0 gives less event points, but it is better than nothing.

Setting LP usage to 0 does still count towards event missions.

If you want to clear the event missions as quick as possible: Set LP usage to 0, and use a full team of the eligible members and play a song other than the event song until all missions are cleared.

LP usage of 2 seems to be most efficient.

During the event you can set LP usage to 10LP, but generally 10 is not recommended unless you are very short on time and otherwise unable to play.

Using a Skip Ticket will get less event points than if you play on your own since you miss out on the contribution bonus.

Redeem the costume for the member you have the best Piece of that you're using in the event.

Aim for 190,000 event points during the event period to collect all event costumes. (Previous goal was 70,000 points.)

Play count, score, and combos on the event song will not count towards their equivalents for the regular version of the song.

Play every difficulty of the event song to earn extra wish tones for Score and Combo ranks. 40 wish tones per difficulty, possible total of 160 wish tones for S combo and score on Easy, Normal, Hard, and Expert. Playing on 0 LP counts towards these goals.

[wingzie]

BTS in the UK Part One: 2017- 2018

On 25th September 2017, BTS had its first play on UK Radio with DNA. The song was played by Olivia Jones on TheHitsRadio. This was followed on 2nd October, with the first play of DNA on BBC1 Radio with Adele Roberts, who would interview BTS later on.

Olivia interviewed Namjoon a month later, for their first UK interview. Namjoon was aware that UKArmy had sent her purple flowers as a “thank you” for playing DNA. He also mentioned chartings and wanting to go to the UK, which they were meant to do in 2017.

Adele Roberts interviewed BTS in South Korea and filmed some dance practice behinds.

The LG x BTS Advert was played at Piccadilly Circus during the summer of 2018.

The O2 Tube posted a photo of the board with BTS track names and lyrics. 

BTS performed at a sold out O2 Arena in October 2018. UKArmy were hyped up before the concert even began, by singing the songs playing out around the arena. 

Big Hit announced online that Jungkook had injured his heel and was advised to not dance on stage. At the venue, their interpreter relayed the same information. UKArmy responded by chanting Jungkook's name in support.

Backstage, Jungkook had indeed injured himself whilst warming up. The members and staff comforted him as they weighed up their options.

Jungkook went to get his stitches and the rest of the group discussed the adaptations that would need to be made. The members spoke to each other over the mics and then got into position as the concert began.

The concert continued with high energy and all the members did their best, whilst including Jungkook in the songs.

Full Link 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9igTbMrr8w

Full Link 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f-hSy_njlI

Full Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CVTW_YZ90I&list=PLYEZN69Ouffxi1ZkbHRNxBJnJMXVqRTiq

Jin tweeted after the concert

The next day, Jungkook tried to convince the members to let him walk around during the medley. Jin then wheeled him and the concert began. Showing their great teamwork as they continued to work hard on stage.

Full Concert Link

Hobi Tweeted “I enjoyed London.”

On 11th October, BTS were featured on the BBC News. In the background, we can see them talking amongst themselves 

In the interview, Jungkook talked about the concert and that they would come back to England. Clips of UKArmy were also used, with Namjoon talking about the importance of mental health/healing with music and Hobi talking about their dances as a team.

Another interview from the UK was Noisey’s Questionnaire of Life and Lorraine BTS Take on a British Quiz

Link 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpxmQMDahiU&t=144s

Link 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECqqi0C0w6w&t=258s

They also did two NME interviews Link 1:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L993jVyE1I4&t=1s Link 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2tUY95IzLc&t=4s

BTS was on the Graham Norton show whilst in the UK. Unfortunately, JImin was unable to join them due to muscle strain. In the behinds, the members talk about how to do the Idol performance. Later on, the members say how much the performance was a struggle.

Full Episode Link with interview:

The members posted some tweets as they were leaving London. Namjoon accidentally overlapped Tae’s and then apologised. 

On 21st October, BTS played the Award Box Challenge to collect their awards for Best International Group and Best Social Media Star.

On 15th November 2018, Burn the Stage was released in the UK. With BTS Love Yourself in Seoul being aired a few months later.

[the-s1lly-corner]

TADC cast x supportive!reader (platonic)

except its hyper specific and applies to my oc specifically because i need a little pick me up today reader is like the circus members anchor as well as a generally serving as a support system and has been in the circus for a while. havent decided on how long but definitely getting close to kinger in terms of how long theyve been stuck. kind of gives off dad energy have not shared the oc here on this blog but i have shared them elsewhere, wont say where because im embarrassed </3 this was originally gonna be a ship chart dynamic but im too tired to draw everyone plus this feels more fun using 'you/your' pronouns for the reader even though its an oc so you guys can at least like, insert yourself REMINDER requests are closed, this is a personal request from myself. any requests sent now will not be answered even after they reopen. please respect that and understand that requests are closed

CAINE:

saved caine for last (yes i know hes the first one in the list hush i dont actually write these in order) i think you and him would have friendly back and forth banter. youve accepted your place in the digital circus long ago so you dont see much point in trying to interrogate him for information on a possible exit. and sure, i dont know if caine can abstract, but i think he enjoys the conversations between the two of you... that said, given how accepting you are with everything as well as having a "roll with it" outlook on the digital world, he probably uses you as plot stuff and props for IHA; be it as a false hostage or as a means to progress the adventure... definitely has a soft spot for you, i think... jax and bubble have a dark bet on when you will finally abstract/j

RAGATHA:

ah yes the optimistic duo, the hopeful pals, the sillies. you two are probably the main reason why everyone else is... mostly... fine, i mean i think having someone be so friendly and open cane make things a little easier for other people. as well as this you two mutually lean on each other for support and uplift one another when things get tough. i mention it in kingers part, but you too are also afraid of bugs but you would help ragatha clear her room of centipedes in a heartbeat, even going as far as to collect them with your bare hands.. so uh... take that as a testament to yalls friendship

JAX:

now im a little stumped on this one because i really dont think the "reader" would be buddy buddy with jax... or maybe they would be... hmm.. on one hand i can see them scolding him for pushing his pranks 'too far' (ex. the ragatha centipede thing, assuming he actually did it), but i can also see a "supportive figure and rebellious kid" dynamic. except jax isnt a kid but you are old enough be his dad, probably.. i think ill just leave that here since i dont have any other ideas

POMNI:

youve been here for a while, so i think naturally pomni would gravitate towards you in order for possible solutions and escape routes, perhaps she would approach kinger, too... but this isnt about kinger </3. fine line between outright shattering their hope but also instilling it, neither are great options... one can lead to despair and the other to obsession; both will lead to abstraction... but theres also the fact none of your past attempts at escape had been successful, nor did you ever find any leads. as for actual potential friendship i think you would take the same route as ragatha in the pilot; show her around and explain things to her in a fairly digestible way. as well as this you tend to gravitate towards her during her first IHA until she gets the hang of them; typically making sure she doesnt get lost or hurt, as well as giving her pointers that could help with the task at hand

KINGER:

writing kinger first, you guys are like the dads of the circus. you more so because you still have a decent hold of yourself. you were there when queener/queenie abstracted, and you were there for kinger during the still on going grieving process. as for actually friendship ideas, you two just sit and talk to one another. thats it, really. i could go on about all the things you two do together, and i probably would since kinger is my favorite and this post is literally about my oc... but i truly dont see these two getting up to anything insane outside of IHA. kinger needs someone to help him fill the silence, and you would be there. and vice versa, i think... bonus, you dont like bugs but you still grin and bare it while listening to kinger rattle on about his cool bug facts... i think that would be nice..

ZOOBLE:

optimistic dad who likes fishing and moody teen who bullies kids on roblox. thats literally the dynamic, except again, zooble is an adult and the reader has no kids... but hey its the same energy. tries to get zooble to engage with IHA but not in a pushy way but more in like... an inviting them to pair with them for comfort and security kind of way. sure you understand that they dont like them because theyre just so over everything but you want them to be included, especially since the IHA are meant to stimulate your minds and keep you guys grounded

GANGLE:

honestly i think you just adopt half of the cast at this point, the only people who arent your kids are ragatha caine and kinger... everyone else gets passed around in split custody/j now onto gangle, you probably try to give her peptalks to make her feel better as well as fixing her comedy mask anytime it breaks. as well as this i think you and her sit down and do arts n crafts together, perhaps even making new masks altogether... i like to think gangle hears a few... things about the others and knows things since shes so quiet and in the background so theres definitely some 'gossip' between the two of you... but not in a shit talking way, no i dont think either of you are like that, rather more so just talking about the others

BONUS STUFF:

you call gangle, zooble, jax, and pomni generic 'dad nicknames' so like. think sport, champ, bud, pal. stuff like that, with varying reactions... i think gangle wouldnt fight it and actually appreciates it. zooble scoffs and rolls their eyes, jax plays into it while loudly and obnoxiously calling you dad. (whenever you ask him to do something he loudly goes like "okay DAAAAAAD" before likely not doing the thing that was asked of him), pomni is just confused really since shes not all that used to it. huh. guess youre a dad of 4 now

you and ragatha tend to clean up after the others, leaving you two alone and you guys just. talk as you clean. probably do impressions of the others in a really comical and dramatic as well as exchanging stories

you and kinger hunt for new pillows to add to his fort. you try to coax him into stepping out of the tent and explore the grounds, so far you're unsuccessful

touching on the gossip thing from gangles part caine probably tries to ask you for some "juicy drama" about the others. who is having issues with her, whos crushing on who, stuff like that... i think caine would try to play matchmaker if there actually is someone who has a crush on someone else... this goes for the current cast as well as those who have come and gone from the digital circus (cough cough abstracted)

[inamindfarfaraway]

I need to clarify that Duke Thomas did not start the We Are Robin movement. It was already up and running, albeit in its early days, when he joined. He was the last addition to his cell. This is their first appearance.

From left to right, not counting the guys who’ve been and are being knocked out: Duke, Izzy Ortiz, Troy Walker, Daxton Chill, Riko Sheridan and Andre Cipriani. They’re in the sewers. Duke is down here looking for his missing, Joker-gassed parents among the homeless. The others are here to foil a terrorist cult of homeless people, and also because their shadowy true leader has his eye on Duke and specifically sent them to give him the chance to sign up. Duke jumps into their dangerous mission like the hero he is. That same day, Troy dies. He stays behind to defuse a bomb and can’t, while his close friends and teammates, and Duke who just got here, escape on a train. In the wake of this trauma, Duke decides that he doesn’t care that that could happen to him. He wants to be a hero.

He goes on to be one of the network’s most influential and accomplished members, being a natural leader and impressing the official Robins the most (along with his friends, they’re the best team). The movement really takes off after he joins. Mostly due to exponential increase in numbers, but partly due to him. So I understand why fans think he started it, on top of him being the obvious choice as the one who becomes a proper Bat. But he didn’t.

We never learn the original amateur Robin’s name. It could have been anyone. An unknown, unremarkable background character lit a spark that set Gotham ablaze. I think that’s pretty beautiful. It definitely fits for the comic’s themes of community, being part of something greater than yourself and how ordinary people collectively can have a powerful impact that transcends their individual weakness. What’s important is that We Are Robin exists and endures. That we are all Robins together. It’s the “Anyone can be Spider-Man” idea from the Spider-Verse movies with no superpowers attached.

So who is the mysterious mastermind, the reason Duke enlisted in the first place?

Alfred Pennyworth. He either founded or cofounded We Are Robin himself or stepped in to organize and equip the very first wave of kids. He acts anonymously in disguises or online, using the handle the Nest. He gives his recruits special phones that connect them to him and each other, their armoured uniforms, information and weapons if they need them. Some, like Dax with his wrench and later handmade grappling hook guns, prefer their own tools. But he does tell Dax the key to making the grapple guns compact.

Stop joking about Duke founding a teen vigilante street gang. Alfred founding a teen vigilante street gang is much funnier. He should never hear the end of it. It’s implied that he did it all independently and kept it secret from the rest of the Batfamily, so they might not even know about it until Duke, who figured it out during his first meeting with Alfred out of disguise, informs them. And Duke’s real origin story needs no exaggeration. It shows him to be a proactive, altruistic menace with no regard for rules or his own safety just fine.