#Designer Bathrooms Melbourne
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Designer Bathroom Melbourne
For exceptional Melbourne luxury bathroom design, trust Metro Bathroom & Home Renovations. We specialize in creating elegant, high-end bathrooms that perfectly blend functionality and aesthetics. Our team of custom bathroom designers in Melbourne is dedicated to delivering bespoke bathroom solutions that cater to your unique style and needs. Whether you’re looking for designer bathroom…
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simplybathroomsolutions · 1 year ago
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What is the most expensive part of bathroom renovation?
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Discover the most expensive aspects of bathroom renovation, including labor, high-quality fixtures, custom cabinetry, and plumbing upgrades. Learn how materials and layout changes impact overall costs.
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arc-hus · 1 year ago
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Terrace House, Melbourne - Dreamer
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mehanizem · 3 months ago
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Egypt Meets Denmark in Melbourne: Mo Jacobsen by YSG Studio
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melbournetrustedtiling · 5 days ago
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Top-Notch Expert Tilers in Werribee: Transforming Your Space with Precision
When it comes to enhancing the aesthetic and functionality of your home or office, the right choice of tiles can make all the difference. If you’re on the hunt for expert tilers in Werribee, you’re in the right place. Werribee, a thriving suburb, is home to skilled professionals who bring life to your tiling visions. Whether it’s your bathroom, kitchen, or outdoor space, the perfect tiling job…
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smarterbathrooms · 6 days ago
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Bathroom Renovations in Melbourne: What You Need to Know Before Starting
Bathroom renovations in Melbourne can significantly enhance your home's value and your daily comfort. But it's a project that has to be carefully thought out and planned. Diving in without a clear roadmap can lead to costly mistakes and unnecessary stress. This blog post outlines essential factors to consider before you swing that first hammer.
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1. Define Your Goals and Needs:
Start by asking yourself some key questions:
• What are your primary reasons for renovating? Are you looking to update bathroom designs modern style, improve functionality, increase storage, or address maintenance issues?
• What are your must-haves versus nice-to-haves? Distinguish between essential changes and desirable upgrades to help prioritize your budget.
• Who will be using the bathroom? Consider the needs of all household members, including children, elderly individuals, or those with disabilities. This will influence design choices like grab bars, shower seats, and toilet height.
2. Set a Realistic Budget:
Bathroom renovations can range from minor cosmetic updates to complete overhauls, with costs varying accordingly with a bathroom renovation company. Establish a reasonable budget that fits within your means by researching the typical expenses of renovations in your region. Don't forget to account for unforeseen costs, which frequently arise during remodelling projects.
3. Plan Your Layout and Design:
Think carefully about how your new bathroom will be laid out. Consider storage options, fixture location, and traffic flow. Whenever feasible, make the most of the natural light and ventilation. Select finishes and materials that are easy to clean, long-lasting, and water-resistant. Choose a design that blends well with your home's general aesthetic.
4. Hire Qualified Professionals:
Unless you have extensive experience in plumbing, electrical work, and tiling, it's best to hire qualified professionals. Check their credentials, read reviews, and obtain multiple quotes before making a decision. Clear communication with your contractors is crucial throughout the renovation process.
5. Obtain Necessary Permits:
Permits may be required from your local building department, depending on the extent of the remodelling. This is especially important for projects that involve structural changes, plumbing modifications, or electrical work.
By carefully considering these factors before starting your bathroom renovation, you can ensure a smoother process, avoid costly mistakes, and create a beautiful and functional space that you'll enjoy for years to come.
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msakintechnicalservices · 19 days ago
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getadvanceinfo · 24 days ago
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Efficient bathroom design can have a massive impact on a home's overall appeal and functionality. Top Edge Kitchens & Bathroom Renovations are the most trusted place for it. Call us now!
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williamharvey · 1 month ago
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Quality Bathroom Vanities Melbourne: Go For It Without Delays 
Custom bathroom vanities in Melbourne are designed to suit your needs. You may want a double sink for an active household or small storage in a smaller bathroom, and through customization, you can fit the design to fit your bathroom perfectly.
Adjustable storage, unique dimensions, and bespoke features help you create a practical, user-friendly, and stylishly designed bathroom vanity. Are you someone who wants to gather more facts about the Quality Bathroom Vanities Melbourne, Custom Bathroom Vanities Melbourne? If Yes. This is the best place where people can gather more facts about the Quality Bathroom Vanities Melbourne, Custom Bathroom Vanities Melbourne.
Exquisite workmanship and high-quality materials
Quality bathroom vanities Melbourne are made to last. Not only do they survive the humid bathroom environment but also give the place a sense of class and sophistication. Melbourne's craftsmanship is highly expert and makes sure there is no detail left out and construction is flawless.
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You can have a custom vanity that suits your bathroom's overall theme. It could be minimalist modern, rustic charm, or even timeless elegance; your vanity can be something to show your personal style. With bespoke finishes, colors, and hardware options, it becomes the centerpiece of the room.
Custom  bathroom vanities Melbourne make the most of space in the available space even when bathroom areas have unusual layouts. Hidden compartments and integrated shelving and drawer organizers are included to minimize the clutter and bring essentials to hand level, thus ensuring functionality as well as an aesthetic look in a bathroom.
Installing quality or a customized bathroom vanity in your home increases the selling price of your house. A well-crafted piece, such as a high-end bathroom vanity, will greatly make a buyer appreciate the fine addition to the bathroom itself.
In Melbourne, having custom and quality bathroom vanities is a smart investment for creating a stylish yet durable and practical space, which reflects your unique tastes.
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Looking for a stunning bathroom renovation in Melbourne? At APD Design, we specialize in transforming your bathroom into a luxurious, functional space that suits your style and needs. Our expert team combines innovative design with high-quality materials to create beautiful bathrooms that elevate your home. Whether you're seeking a modern update or a complete redesign, APD Design ensures a seamless renovation experience from start to finish. Let us help you create the perfect bathroom retreat!
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oscarandcotiles · 1 year ago
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How do I maintain and clean designer tiles in the bathroom?
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In this guide, we'll explore effective ways to care for your designer tiles, enhancing the longevity of your bathroom's allure.
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Custom Home Design Melbourne
For those seeking exceptional custom home design in Melbourne, Metro Bathroom & Home Renovations is the trusted choice. We specialize in creating tailored homes that reflect your unique vision and lifestyle. Our experienced team of Melbourne custom home builders takes pride in delivering top-quality craftsmanship and attention to detail in every project. If you’re after a truly unique living…
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simplybathroomsolutions · 1 year ago
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vaastudesigners · 2 years ago
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Vaastu Designers understands that townhouse living offers a unique blend of convenience, functionality, and contemporary style. With their expertise in architectural design, Vaastu Designers offers an array of thoughtfully crafted townhouse plans that cater to the diverse needs and preferences of homeowners.
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smarterbathrooms · 1 year ago
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How Can Expert Bathroom Renovation Services and Designs in Melbourne Transform Spaces?
Well-known bathroom renovation services in Melbourne, have come up with some advantages including cost-effectiveness. These businesses specialise in delivering personalised services that cater to their client's tastes and lifestyle needs. 
With their knowledge, they may assist in making more space in the entire bathroom and kitchen according to the client's needs and desires. Regardless of the budget, reliable bathroom and kitchen remodelling businesses provide all-scale restoration services for both residential and commercial purposes. 
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Their experts in bathroom design in Melbourne, possess consist of strategic planning, design and style, location analysis, material delivery and installation. They also provide after-sales assistance to clients to keep them informed and involved at all times.
These renovators have years of experience and can provide wonderful and long-lasting improvements. They can create a space that can be used in better ways, increase energy efficiency, and improve aesthetic appeal.
Why Choose an Expert Renovation Service:
Hiring a skilled remodelling service for bathroom or kitchen renovation comes with various advantages. 
These specialists have the experience and skill set to bring client's visions to life while keeping their work at high standards of quality.
Their extensive knowledge of materials, layouts, and design trends assures a functional and visually beautiful space. 
With access to an array of manufacturers and suppliers for concrete and construction materials, tile, kitchen and bathroom accessories, and more, they acquire top-of-the-line goods at cheap prices, maximising the value of the investment. 
Their knowledge promotes the remodelling process, minimising accidents and potential errors. 
How to Choose a Reliable and Excellent Renovation Company?
First of all, people should know what exactly they want to do with their existing bathroom or kitchen space. Thereafter, they should search for a professional renovation service according to their needs. 
They can search in locals by using the traditional word of mouth from neighbours, friends, colleagues, or family members. Additionally, they can search online and visit reliable renovation services' websites to know them in detail. 
Check their reviews online on social media or other platforms and contact them to check their dedication, customer services, and transparency on pricing and communication about design, material, time and expenses. 
Finally, select a reliable service to get overall satisfaction, along with a cost-effective solution for better utilization of interior spaces.
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dreamy625 · 1 year ago
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This rockstar life - 4.2 On the road again
Words: 3580
Content: One scene is, um, smut-adjacent
This rockstar life master list
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After three days of trying to adjust to the time change while wandering bleary-eyed around the city, and several times phoning the hotel front desk to ask what time, and what day, and, on one particularly confusing… morning?… what year, it was, Steve and Alice meet the rest of the band in the Perth Entertainment Centre car park to begin their old-school touring experience.
“So it’s me and Karla, you two, and Phylis in that one,” Joe, who always loves a clipboard, waves it in the direction of one of the grey-with-blacked-out-windows buses parked behind them, “and the rhythm section in the other. And Menschy’s going in with you when we get to Melbourne…”
Karla raises her finely plucked eyebrows in surprise, “Peter’s slumming it on a bus?”
“Yeah, I said if we had to do it, there was no way he was getting to jet around and stay in swanky hotels!”
“Great, so we get the adult supervision,” mutters Rick, sharing an eye-rolling expression with Sav.
“…and Ross’ll come in with us, also from Melbourne. So make sure you leave him a bunk free.”
“Probably piss in the sink again,” mutters Phil under his breath.
“If you’re all quite done griping, grab your stuff and let’s get loaded up.”
“YES SIR. RIGHT AWAY SIR.” The two guitarists salute and high-step their way over to the van that has brought their luggage from the hotel.
Joe shakes his head as he watches most of the group straggle off behind them, with the exception of Rick who has wandered off in the opposite direction. It’s going to be a long ten days.
At the top of the steps, Karla stops and turns around, “So, bus rules…”
“No shitting! No singing! No garlic!” chant the three boys in unison.
“And no groupies!” adds Joe, pointedly in Phil’s direction.
“Hey, I’m a respectable married man I’ll have you know.”
“Yeah, but you’re unsupervised and we know what you’re like.” Phil attempts to adopt an angelic expression. It's not very convincing.
“Bagsy next to the lounge!” calls Joe, slinging his rucksack onto the upper of two stacked bunks.
“Bagsy far away from Joe’s snoring!” laughs Phil, springing up into the one diagonally opposite.
“Since Ross isn’t here to argue, we can give him the one next to the bathroom, so I guess these are ours.” Steve turns to Alice, “Do you want the top or bottom?”
“I don’t know. I’m an only child, I’ve never even slept in a bunk bed!”
“You get more swaying at the top, but more road noise at the bottom,” Phil chips in helpfully.
“Also obviously you have to climb up and down for the top one.”
“Would that be easier for you? As you’re tall?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Promise you won’t drop things on me though.”
“I’m promising nothing,” says Steve with a grin as he puts one foot on the steps and swings himself up with surprising grace. “Ahh, this brings back memories,” he muses, settling back on the pillow.
Alice ducks into the compartment designated her home for the duration. “Wow, they really are tiny.”
“You’re lucky we get the luxury ones these days. Back in the day, it was three bunks stacked up, not just two,” notes Phil.
“They were like actual coffins, you had to kind of slither in sideways.”
“It’s alright for you shortarses, I don’t fit in ’em whatever,” says Joe gloomily.
Everybody has now climbed in to test their chosen beds and have their heads poking out through the curtains, except for Joe who has his legs dangling out instead.
“Oh yeah, that’s another thing - watch out for Joe’s feet sticking out if you’re walking through at night.”
“I don’t want details, but how did you manage to, um, entertain groupies in these?” asks Alice.
“Ah, we were younger and bendier in those days,” reminisces Phil with a wistful expression.
“To be honest,” says Steve looking down at her with a serious expression, defending his honour, “it didn’t happen all that much. All of us crammed on the one bus, nobody wants an audience.”
“Except Phil!”
Phil flicks his middle finger in the direction of the dangling feet and disembodied voice.
Oblivious to the gesture, Joe groans, “Ugh, my back hurts already.” He drops down out of the bunk. “I’m going to find Sav, you coming?” This last part is directed at Karla, who nods and follows him out. “Soundcheck at three, don’t be late!” he calls behind him.
“And I’m going for a run,” says Phil, digging around in his duffel bag, “You’re welcome to join me?”
“Ha!” says Steve, and Alice just giggles.
Phil heads for the front of the bus, shaking his head at the laziness of his companions.
Alice twists her head to look up at Steve. “You going to be lonely up there on your own?”
Steve makes a sad puppydog face, “You can always visit for a cuddle.”
Phil’s voice comes from the front lounge, “If you’re gonna shag in there, the bottom bunk is usually less rattly. And missionary’s your best option. No room for any kinky stuff!”
“Thanks for the tip, mate." Looking back at Alice, Steve waggles his eyebrows suggestively.
“Haha, no thankyou.” She stands up and gives him a kiss. “Come on, let’s go do something Australian before soundcheck.”
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It’s 1am by the time the three artist buses (B.B. Steal’s vehicle crammed with not just the whole band and their manager, but also a number of fans of the female and scantily-clad variety) and the first of the crew buses set off on the long, long drive to Adelaide. It will be an even later departure, after completing a four-hour load-out, for the rest of the roadcrew and the eight equipment trucks. On the Joe-bus at least, with the aftereffects of jetlag and two hours of running around a sweaty stage, no one is really in the mood to party; once the shuffling up and down for teeth-cleaning and hair-brushing purposes is done, all is quiet.
Sometime later, Steve wakes from a confusing dream where he is on the High ‘n’ Dry tour but in Ozzy’s band instead of Leppard, to the muffled sound of fast breathing from somewhere on the bus. With his brain still half in 1981, his first thought is to wonder who got lucky. But then he recognises that those are not noises of ecstasy but of fear, and it’s coming from directly below him. Instantly wide-awake, he rolls out of his bunk, drops to a crouch, and yanks back the curtain of Alice’s bed. All he can see in the faint glow of the walkway lighting is a huge pair of frightened eyes above an open mouth gasping for air. He reaches in and cradles her head.
“What’s the matter?”
“Roof… too close… can’t breathe…” is all that Alice can manage.
“It’s okay. You’re okay. Just a panic attack.” With one hand each side of her face, he turns her head towards him. “Just focus on me. Now breathe in… and out… and in… and ooout… and in…” He hears someone stir and mutter in one of the other compartments, so he lowers his voice to a whisper “…aaand ooout…”
Gradually Alice’s breathing slows, and when he asks if she’s okay, she nods.
“I didn’t know you were claustrophobic.”
“Neither did I,” she replies with a wan smile. “I just woke up and felt like I was trapped, like the ceiling was coming down on me.”
“Do you want to swap? The top one might feel less of a box, because the roof slopes. Or you can share it with me?”
“Is there room?”
“Sure, you’re titchy.”
Trying to stay as quiet as possible, he helps her to climb into the upper compartment and, with a bit of shifting around, they find a way to fit around one another. Eventually Alice drifts off to sleep lulled by Steve’s steady heartbeat.
“Rise and shine matey! First stop’s in ten minutes.” Pulling back the curtain on Steve’s bunk, Joe is surprised to see not just the expected blond head but a brunette one as well. “Oops! Sorry guys, didn’t know you were… busy!” He gives a dirty chuckle.
Steve, not a morning person at the best of times, protests, “We were sleeping.”
Alice waves vaguely in Joe’s direction before putting the hand over her eyes. Lying with her head on Steve’s chest - so, given the size of the compartment, basically on top of him - had turned out to be the only arrangement that allayed the claustrophobia. It had been comforting but not exactly conducive to a good night’s sleep.
Still smirking, Joe rattles the curtain back into place and moves on to wake Phil.
“Sorry sweetie,” Alice whispers when Joe’s footsteps have receded down the bus, “this cannot have been comfy for you.”
“‘S fine. Nothing to do today but watch the scenery go by. Napping is part of the schedule. We’d better get up now though if you want to use the bathroom at the service station. Remember rule one!”
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“Why is it so fucking cold on this bus?”
Alice, who had been reading in their bunk until her boyfriend stomped into the sleeping quarters and started rifling through their luggage, answers, “Air conditioning. You’ve been complaining the last three days that it was too hot. Maybe they finally found the cold button?”
There is some unintelligible muttering from the depths of the 'junk bunk' and then, “And I can’t find a jumper.”
“Probably in the luggage bay. Didn’t think we’d need jumpers in a tin can in one of the hottest places on earth! Come on, come up here under the covers.”
Steve kicks his shoes off, clambers up into the bunk and settles into the narrow space, lying arms folded with the duvet pulled up to his chin.
“I’m so sick of being trapped in this bloody box. Flying’s bad enough, but at least it’s quicker.” He glances across at Alice, who is lying propped up on one elbow watching him with an amused expression. “What?”
Alice smiles, “You are such a spoiled brat!”
“I am not,” says Steve huffily.
“Look at you, all pouty.” She leans forward and kisses first the protruding lower lip, and then the little frowning crease between his eyebrows.
“They’re supposed to look after us properly,” he grumbles, but less vehemently.
“Because you are an artiste,” says Alice with mock seriousness.
Involuntarily, the corners of his mouth twitch up. “Yes, ackcherly.”
“Are you warmed up now?”
“Mmm? Yes, much better.” He wriggles into a slightly more relaxed position.
"And are you done being spiky?"
"Spiky? I'm not spiky. It was a justified complaint."
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Joe is woken by a loud thump and some swearing. “Everyone okay out there?” he calls.
“Yup, no problem,” comes back in an indistinct male voice. This is followed by giggling and shushing noises.
Joe squeezes his eyes shut and makes a concerted effort to ignore whatever’s going on. He needs sleep and does not have the patience for any shenanigans at this time of night.
The following morning while attempting to achieve full consciousness over cups of coffee, Joe notices Steve wincing and flexing his fingers.
“You alright there mate?”
“Fine, fine. I’ll be able to play, no problem.”
On closer examination, there is also a large bruise blooming on his right elbow. Joe sighs, “Go on, what happened?”
“I… fell out of my bunk.” Both he and Alice are looking distinctly sheepish, not looking at Joe or each other.
“What were you doing? Or do I not want to know?”
“Nothing like that!” Steve points an accusing finger at Alice, “She tickled me!”
“You started it!”
“Only because your hair was tickling my nose!”
“Not on purpose!”
Joe leans his head in his hands, “Oh god, as if the Terror Twins weren’t bad enough, now we’ve got the Tickle Twins. A whole new form of shared stupidity.”
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When Alice wakes it is still dark and the bus is purring along straight and smooth, so she surmises they must still be on the highway enroute to Melbourne. She’s used to the sound and the motion now, so it can’t have been that that disturbed her. Maybe just the discomfort of lying in one position, with her boyfriend’s bony chest as a pillow, for too long? After just one more night attempting to sleep in their separate beds, which resulted in Alice lying awake for hours worrying about having another panic attack, and Steve lying awake for hours listening for any signs of Alice having another panic attack, they had resigned themselves to sharing one bunk for the rest of the trip. It’s a tight fit for two people, even two skinny people, so they have not been the most restful of nights. Trying to ease the soreness in her hip, she wriggles the leg that is wrapped around Steve but encounters a slight… obstacle… and lets out a little ‘oops’ in surprise. There is a low chuckle in response - Steve is clearly awake too.
“You, um, okay there, sweetie?” she whispers.
“Feel like I’ve been trying to sleep with a hard-on for a week now!” he replies in a low gravelly voice.
Alice stifles a giggle.
“It’s not funny.” But she can tell from the flash of teeth visible in the low greyish light from the walkway lights showing through the curtain that he’s grinning as he says it.
“Poor baby,” she murmurs with her lips moving against the exposed skin just below his collarbone.
“Stoppit! You’re not helping!” hisses Steve.
“Am I not?” She flutters her fingers where they rest against his ribs just under the hem of his t-shirt, “Sorry.”
He makes a little frustrated growl in response.
“Sorrysorrysorry. I’ll stop.” After a minute of silent stillness she whispers conversationally, “Is this the longest we’ve ever not had sex?”
“No, because we’ve been apart for weeks at a time before. But this is definitely the longest we’ve laid on top of each other and not done it!”
“We’ll be in Sydney in… three days? Then we’ll have a hotel room. That’s not… so long… to wait?”
Steve is trailing his hand gently up and down her back, and three days actually, kinda, seems like a long time now she says it.
“I guess not,” he sighs.
There is another pause, and Steve tries to turn his mind to less interesting topics. Which is not easy with a warm, soft body pressed to his. He can smell her familiar scent, like incense and jasmine, now mixed with a hint of coconut from sunscreen. With effort he drags his reluctant brain away from matters of the flesh and on to chord progressions, trying to hear the music in his head. Now how does the bridge in ‘Have you ever needed someone so bad’ go? The song title is not helping either.
Alice pipes up again, “I’ve never done it on a bus.”
“Not much opportunity on the 414 to Hyde Park Corner.”
“But you have?”
“Long time ago. In my wild younger days.”
“How does it work? Logistically speaking?”
“Well, like this.”
He gently tips Alice over onto her side, reaching down to hook her leg over his hip.
Feeling his erection, poking out of his boxers, now nestled neatly between her thighs, Alice blows out a little puff of air in an ‘oh’ and murmurs, “Yes, I can see that… um… all fits nicely.” She rocks her hips back and forth, just as an experiment.
Steve’s breath catches and he mutters into her hair, “This is torture.”
“D’you think anyone else is awake?”
“I can’t hear anything…”
Alice tilts her face up to him and, warm breath tickling his neck, whispers, “We could be very, very, quiet?”
Stroking his hand up her thigh, he murmurs, “We shouldn’t…”
Sliding her hand further under his shirt and brushing a thumb across his nipple, she agrees, “We mustn’t…”
Steve lets out a breathy moan and Alice smothers it in a kiss.
Across the aisle, Phil pulls his pillow over his head and prays for a quick conclusion.
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Ross’s arrival to join the tour is announced by a sudden flash of light from the open door of the bus, which makes Joe jump and spill his cereal, followed by a cackle and the words ‘that’s a keeper’. The resulting picture - Steve, wearing boxers and sunglasses, with tufts of hair escaping from the plait Alice does for him every night, scratching his arse while staring into the fridge - surfaces some weeks later adorning Steve’s laminate for the Madison Square Garden gig, with the moniker ‘Sex symbol’.
“We ready then boys? I’ve scouted some great locations.”
Joe squints at his watch, “It’s nine-thirty?”
“I know.”
“In the morning?”
“We’ve already missed the best light, better get going pronto.”
Steve, until this point seemingly frozen in place in front of the fridge by the flashbulb, lets out a groan and flops into a seat, dropping his head onto the table.
Ross reaches over and pulls the sunglasses down the slumped man’s nose. After a moment considering the reddened eyes underneath, he pushes them back up, “Yeah, best keep those on.”
Joe stands and slings his bowl into the sink, “I’m gonna get my towel and go shower in the venue.” He disappears into the sleeping quarters, shouting “Phil-o! Shake a leg. Some weirdo wants to take photos of you!” as he walks past the still-closed bunk on his way out.
A few minutes later Phil, looking like a newly-hatched chick, emerges, rubbing his eyes. “Oh, hey Ross. Or should I say g’day?”
The photographer turns his camera from capturing the detritus scattered around the galley sink and focuses on the sleep-crumpled guitarist, “Ready for your closeup Mr Collen?”
“Absolutely, give me twenty seconds.”
Phil pops a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and removes the carton of orange juice from Steve’s unresisting hand to pour a glass for each of them and one for Ross. “So where we going then?”
“Well, there’s a national park quite near - the hills would make a dramatic backdrop…”
A groan emanates from the vicinity of the tabletop. “He doesn’t like hills,” translates Phil.
“…and obviously we have to do some beach shots to get the full Aussie atmosphere…”
Another groan. “He doesn’t like sand either. Or sunshine. It’s the freckles, he tends to blotch.”
“…and I’ve found a scrapyard that’ll be great for a really gritty nighttime shoot…”
They both turn expectantly to the grumbling blond head - silence.
“Apparently that one’s fine?” hazards Phil.
“Or he’s fallen asleep.”
Phil wafts a slice of the just-popped toast in front of Steve’s face. There is no reaction. “You could be right. I’ll get Alice. Steve-whispering is her job now.”
“Help yourself to toast,” he calls over his shoulder, “and there’s loads of beans…”
The shoot is the usual mix of shouted instructions and semi-successful attempts at following them. “Chin up, Joe.” “Stop pouting, Sav.” “Rick, turn to the left.” “No, your left.” “The other left.” “Get back here, Collen.” “Chin down, Joe.” “Clark, you look like your dog died.” “Less flirty, Sav.” “No, actually, more flirty!” “Chin up, Joe.” “Collen… where’s…? COLLEN! GET OUT OF THE SEA!”
Getting pictures of the show proves just as entertaining. Ross, quite understandably, refuses to hang from the lighting rig this time and instead scampers around the understage area, popping up out of the stairways like a gopher to snap whichever band member is passing at the time. Phil and Joe regard this as a giant game of photographer-whac-a-mole, aiming a kick, in jest of course, at the camera everytime it emerges in their vicinity. Sav, who doesn’t enjoy surprises, is less keen and all the photos taken of him look startled! And Steve’s habit of galloping around the stage without looking where he’s going almost spells disaster with a collision that sends the two artists and the tools of their trades flying! The show crashes to a halt as the rest of the band rush to help, finding, thank goodness, the two men lying in a tangled heap of limbs, strings, and scattered lenses, laughing too hard to get up! One camera down and a bruise the size of, he claims, a dinnerplate on his arse, Ross declares his assignment over and adds danger money to the Q Prime invoice.
Photos which were mysteriously rejected from inclusion in the behind-the-scenes tour booklet included:
Sav buying the entire stock of Tim Tams at a servo
Steve’s kangaroo impression
Karla and Stacy getting chatted up by two buff-looking surfer dudes
Rick flashing his arse in the bus window
Joe with curlers in his fringe
Steve drawing a moustache on Phil while he’s sleeping
Phil drawing a cock and balls on Steve’s forehead while he’s sleeping
Joe wearing a balaclava while he’s sleeping
Sav and Dara dancing to Achy Breaky Heart in the car park outside the National Tennis Centre
Alice sitting in Steve's lap, plucking his eyebrows with intense concentration
Rick balanced on one leg and using the other foot to hold a tomato while he slices it with a six-inch knife, entirely insouciant despite being stood in the galley of a bus moving at 70mph
Joe throwing Phil’s harmonica out of the window
Joe’s face when Phil pulls a second harmonica out of his pocket
Peter threatening to clout Ross with a didgeridoo if he takes any more stupid pictures
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