#Designated Goodguys

[cleocatrablossy]

SUPERHERO TIME

Okay so, obviously first civilian clothes based off their regular skins.

Scar does use a wheelchair, but for sake of the references he’s shown standing here.

Then we’ve got past identities:

Grian was Cuteguy up until about 4 years ago when he disappeared after a fight with Hotguy and was pronounced dead. He was part of the ‘Bad Boys’, a trio of vigilantes. About a month before his disappearance Stratos was killed. He was named Cuteguy by the public, having never given a name.

Good-Guy was another member of the ‘Bad Boys’, but with the apparent deaths of his fellow members it was decided for his own safety to distance himself from the role. And maybe get some amount of government oversight. Good-Guy’s last appearance was two weeks after Cuteguy was pronounced dead, as he said he was going into retirement form vigilante work.

The Jangler was a joke that lasted for a couple months 7 years ago. The Jangler mainly made TV appearances or would leave boxes behind, but would have the occasional appearance in person. He solely focused on disrupting the Jingler’s plans.

And finally, current day:

Poultry man has been out and about as a villain for just short of 4 years. Mostly either works with Hotguy or solo.

Sheriff is a hero, and opted to reveal his name to the public.

Hotguy has been around for 8 years now and one of the most feared villains. Probably because he has mechanical wings that can replace themselves if hit, and explosive arrows. Also an LED mask grinning at you while a guy is blowing shit up is somewhat scary. Mostly works with the Jingler, Poultry Man, or solo.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Dm Tip: Playing the Villain/ Guidelines for "Evil" Campaigns

I've never liked the idea of running an evil game, despite how often I've had people in my inbox asking how I'd go about it. I'm all about that zero-to-hero heroic fantasy not only because I'm a goodie twoshoes IRL but because the narrative-gameplay premise that d&d is built around falls apart if the party is a bunch of killhappy murder hobos. Not only would I get bored narrating such a game and indulging the sort of players who demands the freedom to kill and torture at will (I've had those before and they don't get invited back to my table), but the whole conceit of a party falls through when the obviously villainous player characters face their first real decision point and attempt to kill eachother because cooperation is a thing that goodguys do.

Then I realized I was going about it all wrong.

The problem was I had started out playing d&d with assholes, those "murder and torture" clowns who wanted to play grand-theft-auto in the worlds I'd created and ignore the story in favour of seeing how much unchallenged chaos they could create. They set my expectations for what an evil campaign was, and I spent the rest of my time developing as a dungeonmaster thinking " I Don't want any part of that"

But what would an evil campaign look like for my playgroup of emotionally healthy friends who understand character nuance? What would I need to change about the fundamental conceit of d&d adventures to refocus the game on the badguys while still following a similar enough narrative-gameplay premise to a hero game? How do we make that sort of game relatable? What sort of power/play fantasy can we indulge in without going off the deepend?

TLDR: In an evil campaign your players aren't playing the villains, they're the MINIONS, they're mooks, henchmen, goons, lackeys. They're the disposable underlings of uncaring overseers who have nothing but ill intent towards them and the world at large.

Where as in a hero game the party is given the freedom to challenge and overthrow corrupt systems, in an evil game the party is suck as part of that corrupt system, forced to bend and compromise and sacrifice in order to survive. The fantasy is one of escaping that corrupt system, of biding your time just long enough to find an opening, find the right leverage, then tossing a molitov behind you on the way out.

Fundamentally it's the fantasy of escaping a shitty job by bringing the whole company down and punching your asshole boss in the face for good measure.

Below the cut I'm going to get into more nuance about how to build these kinds of narratives, also feel free to check out my evil party tag for campaigns and adventures that fit with the theme.

Designing a campaign made to be played from the perspective of the badguys requires you to take a different angle on quest and narrative design. It’s not so simple as swapping out the traditionally good team for the traditionally bad team and vis versa, having your party cut through a dungeon filled with against angel worshiping holyfolk in place of demon worshipping cultists etc. 

Instead, the primary villain of the first arc of the campaign should be your party’s boss. Not their direct overseer mind you, more CEO compared to the middle managers your party will be dealing with for the first leg of their journey. We should know a bit about that boss villain’s goals and a few hints at their motivation, enough for the party to understand that their actions are directly contributing to that inevitable doom.

“Gee, everyone knows lord Heldred swore revenge after being banished from the king’s council for dabbling in dark magic. I don’t know WHY he has us searching for these buried ancient tablets, but I bet it’s not good”

Next, you need a manager, someone who’s a part of the evil organization that the party directly interfaces with. The manager should have something over the party, whether it be threats of force, blackmail, economic dependency… anything that keeps the antiheroes on the manager’s leash. Whether you make your manager an obvious asshole or manipulative charmer, its important to maintain this power imbalance:   The party arn’t going to be rewarded when the boss-villain’s plan goes off, the manager is, but the manager’s usefulness to the boss-villain is contingent on the work they’re getting the party to do.  This tension puts us on a collison course to our first big narrative beat: do the party get tired of the manager’s abuse and run away? Do they kill the manager and get the attention of the upper ranks of the villainous organization? Do they work really hard at their jobs despite the obvious warning signs and outlive their usefulness? Do they upstage their manager and end up getting promoted, becoming rivals for the boss-villain’s favor? 

Building this tension up and then seeing how it breaks makes for a great first arc, as it lets your party determine among themselves when enough is enough, and set their goals for what bettering the situation looks like. 

As for designing those adventures, you’ll doubtlessly realize that since the party arn’t playing heroes you’ll need to change how the setup, conflict, and payoff work. They’re still protagonists, we want them to succeed after all, but we want to hammer home that they’re doing bad things without expecting them to jump directly to warcrimes. 

Up to no good: The basic building block of any evil campaign, our party need to do something skullduggerous without alerting the authorities.  This of course is going to be easier said than done, especially when the task spins out of control or proves far more daunting than first expected. The best the party can hope for is to make a distraction and then escape in the chaos, but it will very likely end with them being pursued in some manner (bounties, hunters, vengeful npcs and the like).  Use this setup early in a campaign so you have an external force gunning for your party during the remainder of their adventures. 

Dog eat dog:  It’s sort of cheating to excuse your party’s villainous actions by having them go up against another villain who happens to be worse than they are. The trick is that we’re not going after this secondary group of outlaws because they’re bad, we’re doing it because they’ve either got something the boss wants, or they’re edging in on the boss’s turf.  This sort of plotline sees the party disrupting or taking advantage of a rival’s operation, then taking over that operation and risking becoming just as villainous as that rival happened to be. This can also be combined with an “Up to no good” plot where both groups of miscreants need to step carefully without alerting an outside threat. 

The lesser evil: This kind of plot sees your party sent out to deal with an antagonistic force that’s a threat not only to the boss’s plans but to everyone in general. In doing so they might end up fighting alongside some heroes, or accidentally doing good in the long run. This not only gives your party a taste of heroism, but gives them something in their back pocket that could be used to challenge the boss-villain in the future.  

The double cross: In order to get what they want, the party need to “play along” with a traditional heroic narrative long enough to get their goal and then ditch. You have them play along specifically so they can get a taste of what life would be like if they weren't bastards, as well as to make friends with the NPCs inevitably going to betray. This is to make it hurt when you have the manager yank the leash and force the party to decide between finishing the job , or risk striking out on their own and playing hero in the short term while having just made a long term enemy. This is sort of plot is best used an adventure or two into the campaign, as the party will have already committed some villainous deeds that one good act can’t blot out. 

Next, lets talk about the sort of scenarios you should be looking to avoid when writing an evil campaign:

Around the time I started playing d&d there was this trend of obtusely binary morality systems in videogames which claimed to offer choice but really only existed to let the player chose between the power fantasy of being traditionally virtuous or the power fantasy of being an edgy rebel. Early examples included:

Do you want to steal food from disaster victims? in Infamous

Do you as a space cop assault a reporter who’s being kind of annoying to you? in Mass Effect

Do you blow up an entire town of innocent people for the lols? in Fallout (no seriously check out hbomberguy’s teardowm on fallout 3’s morality system and how critics at the time ate it up)

I think these games, along with the generational backwash of 90s “edge” and 00s “grit” coloured a lot of people's expectations ( including mine) about what a "villain as protagonist" sort of narrative might look like. They're childish exaggerations, devoid of substance, made even worse by how blithely their narratives treat them.

Burn down an inn full of people is not a good quest objective for an evil party, because it forces the characters to reach cartoonish levels of villainy which dissociates them from their players. Force all the villagers into the inn so we can lock them inside and do our job uninterrupted lets the party be bad, but in a way that the players can see the reason behind it and stay synced up with their characters. The latter option also provides a great setup for when the party's actually monstrous overseer sets the inn on fire to get rid of any witnesses after the job is done. Now the party (and their players) are faced with a moral quandary, will they let themselves be accessories to a massacre or risk incurring their manager's wrath? Rather than jumping face first into cackling cruelty, these sorts of quandaries have them dance along the knife's edge between grim practicality and dangerous uncertainly; It brings the player and character closer together.

Finally, lets talk about ending the villain arc:

I don't think you can play a whole evil campaign. Both because the escalation required is narratively unsustainable, but also because the most interesting aspect of playing badguys is the breaking point. Just like heroes inevitably having doubts about whether or not they're doing the right thing, there's only so long that a group of antiheroes can go along KNOWING they're doing the wrong thing before they put their feet down and say "I'm out". I think you plan a evil campaign up until a specific "there's no coming back from this" storybeat, IE letting the Inn burn... whether or not the party allows it to happen, it's the lowest point the narrative will allow them to reach before they either fight back or allow themselves to be subsumed. If they rebel, you play out the rest of the arc dismantling the machine they helped to build, taking joy in its righteous destruction. If they keep going along, show them what they get for being cogs: inevitably betrayed, sacrificed, or used as canon fodder when the real heroes step in to do their jobs for them.

Art

[brokehorrorfan]

Two of Fright-Rags' Child's Play shirts are on sale for $15 today only with the coupon code GOODGUYS. They're designed by Matthew Skiff and Nik Holmes.

[awigglycultist]

HotGuy, CuteGuy, SpyGuy, and GoodGuy designs bc why not?

[bisthefairy]

Megaman's X themes: ahhh damn, ahhh fuck, the robots have FULL FREE WILL NOW, no directives!! You thought playing as an inherently pure hearted child incapable of sin, and being forced to fight your brothers, who were once good too, but have had their programming altered and now can't help being machines of war was edgy???? THAT WAS THE FUN GOOFY SIDE OF THE SERIES, NOW GET READY FOR MORAL AMBIGUITY ON A LEVEL YOU'VE NEVER ANTICIPATED BEFORE!! THESE REPLOIDS CAN SIMPLY CHOOSE TO NOT ALIGN THEMSELVES WITH LAW AND ORDER, AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE EM DOWN!! DO SOME OF THEM MAYBE HAVE A POINT EVEN?????? MAYBE!!!! IT'S POSSIBLE!!!! THIS IS A BOLD NEW AGE, ROBOT FREE WILL IS A PANDORA'S BOX AND UNTOLD CONFLICT AND SUFFERING IS IN STORE FOR HUMANITY AND THE MECHANICAL LIFE THEY'VE CREATED!!!!

Megaman X's Character Design: c: ok so this is what goodguys look like

Megaman X's Character Design: c: and this is the badguys who've chosen to be bad via their own free will

[octolingplush]

my take on hypno!marie because im normal

she’s not green because i can’t find a reason for the green version to make sense game wise. the deep pink has ALWAYS been the octarians. only time it hasn’t was OE.. but that’s because it was swapped to eight, who’s a GoodGuy

same ideas as callie’s design (opposite of main outfit yet keep similar silhouette) (hence the skirt)

as compensation you green marie fans get her eyes green

headpiece is an octopus mantle to be the opposite of the slice of callie’s octopus arm. if someone sees the vision you can attempt to execute it better idk

tattoo is the cross because it’s green (and represents octavio like callie’s tat does)

also maybe i just adjusted it weird but guys. this doesn’t look good im sorry

[vinxwatches]

my adventure's with superman

saw it, thought it had the save voice actor for Lois as played Luz in the owl house (it's not the same) and really liked her design. watching it, damn i like these personalities. i've also grown to like superman more then i did. is he OP? yea, but that's now the draw of him, and a more fun universe is needed to make him enjoyable.

also het get a magical girl transformation which is just hilarious. suit is a bit too armour plated for my liking.

ah, he's so sweat with his parents. i'd seen clips from them trying to do it in other cartoons but it was always a bit stilted, and of course it was shit in man of steel. here's it's just very nice.

i probably shouldn't sympathise so much with the villain.

nope, i think i was mend to sympathise with her. and now we have found the "goodguys". you know, just like how belos was the benevolent leader.

who the fuck uses a blimp these days?!

you should not make the villains fucking cute together if you want me to see them fail!

i really like the banshee. damn she's probably never coming back is she.

"oh, he's a liar" genuinely had my laughing out loud. sorry Clark, this problem isn't over yet.

"now, shut up. i'm about to be nice" great line.

wow, they really made this guy the most unlikeable. treatning people, misogonist, general elon musk and like. truly the biggest douche canoe possible.

standard equipment should come with some needle and treat... yea i really should add that to my handbag. won't need it often, but man will i feel stupid if i could ever need it but then don't have it with me even though i know how to use it. need to look into how to store some treat though.

you can't give superman the :3 face!

you call your product the parasite... bit on the nose for a tech company don't you think?

the bad tech tyrant claims he build the company himself, because of course he does. also it's a white straight man, because of course he is. yea, i got opinions. sure, this is made by an equally big company, but at least calling out bs like this is the popular/normal thing to do.

it really plays into the threat to superman is collateral damage. also fuck yea Lois will fucking suckerpunch a fucker. i really like her personality and that they gave her so much stuff to do.

damn, ep4? that's fast. also really neat as it allows things to continue instead of stagnate, i'm really interesting what she'll do with it.

wow, that's the laziest debumker ever. just going "nah"? you have to give some evidence.

ok, really like that people don't just have one body types. a lady can also be jacked as fuck.

oh, it's her, because of course it's her. it really is impressive how she's so recognizable across series and forms of media.

damn, that's one hell of a way to end the episode, truly tearing shit apart.

so, they're just doing this trope exactly https://www.tumblr.com/moringmark/724550083360718848?source=share (the trope it's making fun of, not the subversion)

the weirdest sweat gay romance ever.

[askmstau]

Can we perhaps get some more worldbuilding for the au? :]]]

Aka an accuse for you to ramble about the au :D

~Mezalea anon

(my motivation may have basically gone poof but my love of worldbuilding sure hasn't!!!!!)

uhhh i wont lie most of the actual worldbuilding is made up on the spot (example being bdubs' cafe -> sundial cafe) but i WILL talk abt some random fun facts. mostly about scar because he rotates in my brain like a microwave this post is long so heres a read more:

scars power is interesting to me bc like. alr this also applies to my normal hc scar but when he shapeshifts he not like. male. as a human, he's a cis man, but like. the animals/mobs he shifts into has attributes of all genders. my guy is inherently genderless and i love that. its inspired minecraft itself, since most of the mobs are genderless (like the cow both having udders and horns.) scott used to have a different design! he was originally wearing a tshirt, the same jacket he wears currently but off the shoulder, and shorts. but i ended up changing it bc he just looked like a highschooler whos starting youtube and i didnt like it LMAO jimmy's hero outfit is inspired by both his goodguy skin (main inspo) but i also had open his old captain america skin theres a noncanon event where scar fakes his death for his retirement as a villain (bc he managed to kill off the main ppl in charge) and like. it's set pretty early on. this still happens in canon, but farr down the road. like mst are together by that point (do know how they get together in that au is through scotts flower shop <3) joel has connections to like. everyone. he knows scott through lizzie, he knows jimmy by growing up with him, he knows scar by dating him in highschool- like hello?? another joel thing, he's not bias towards heroes or villains, despite literally dating a hero. it's very funny mumbo is a villain and i find that inherently hilarious. he is. so bad at being a villain. probably one of the most beloved as it turns out, outside of like. relationship stuff, grian actually has the most development. (you'll figure it out soon enough.) OKAY YOU KNOW THE XORNOTH SAGA RIGHT? funny bts: theres barely any plan for it. like. there's an idea here or there, but the entire thing is basically improv.

ive talked about it a lot, but scar is genuinely SMITTEN. he is down horrifically bad, and it's so funny to write relating to the above one, my doc name for the fic is "scar goodtimes. sir. you're down so bad you're digging your grave" i don't watch the people i write about on a regular basis. I've been watching scar a lot more as of late, and i've always binged grians content, but outside of them, i don't watch scott or jimmy that much? i mean i still watch em, but still. and i just. don't watch cubfan.

theres a reason scar got into archery and now: time for discord messages that i sent when initially making the au, and before this blog existed. most of these arent inherently pg

scotts old sketch:

and an unrelated meme that makes sense to me specifically:

enjoy the brain worms.

[crimsoncalamity]

I-No || Guilty Gear

♫ Time Traveling Heavy Metal Witch causes problems on purpose

♫ A sadistic, cold hearted, egotistical bitch who also happens to be the manifestation of mankind's desire for a "brighter tomorrow" put in the body of a regular human. It's kinda complicated, babe.

♫ Basically a badguy who is forced to be a goodguy by cosmic design

♫ The guitar's name is Marlene ♥

♫ Queen of innuendoes, especially of the musical and sexual variety.

♫ Horny as all hell. Will flirt with you as long as you're of age.

♫ Extremely under stimulated and disassociated from the rest of humanity after transversing and manipulating the timeline for so long. Believe it or not she started off a decent person.

♫ [Bleep] you, you [bleep]! I hope you [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]

♫ Recently had an existential crisis and quit her boss that she didn't really listen to anyway. Became God for a hot minute. Died on the inside before dying literally to her Freddy Mercury Fanboy arch nemesis.

♫ Remembered herself in her final moments. Well-maybe not her final moments anymore. She IS here in Isola after all. Sucks for you losers, huh?

[rpmtrish]

See Us at the 2023 Goodguys 25th Summit Racing Nationals

It has been a busy summer already for our team at Forgeline, but now, our favorite event of the year is almost here! We’re excited to be exhibiting at the 2023 Goodguys 25th Summit Racing Nationals Presented by PPG, at the Ohio Expo Center in Columbus, OH, over the July 7-9 weekend. Of course, we’ll be showing off some of our newest and coolest forged wheel designs and displaying our new Chevrolet C8 Corvette Z06 on Forgeline Carbon+Forged CF207 wheels and our famous 1970 “FN Camaro” on Forgeline forged three piece GX3 Open Lug wheels. You don’t want to miss your chance to enjoy this epic annual tradition, so if you’ll be at the 2023 25th Goodguys Summit Racing Nationals Presented by PPG in Columbus, then please stop by and see us! Read the full article

[tidxbit]

my reasons for each choice, and what the skins would majorly change/look like

optimus prime = orisa: both were rebuilt to become a strong protector, and with the selection of megatron as doomfist, they enemies in this version as well. the spear would be a long handle with an energon axe head, and their feet can be each of the 4 back tires from the truck.

ultra magnus = reinhardt: both are known for using hammers, both are huge and symbols of honor but are not the leader of the faction cause they more fit in the front line. earthshatter makes the autobot symbol in the impact, and i would give this skin that apon death the armor detaches to show ghost magnus like how bastion breaks apart if all the skins can't be set to break.

cybertron / alpha trion = wrecking ball / hamond: the only major ball based transformer, and tiny squeaky trion is a funny thought.

optimus primal = winston: a good leader but is usually works under the bigger leader. and monkey.

bulkhead / miko = dva: victory saber was considered but would end up looking too close to the academy and varsity skins already in game, victory saber and many human piloted helpers in transformers history were all to vague except one, miko from prime, and to avoid the kinda boring design of miko's mech just threw them inside bulkhead. and the ult line could be "get WRECKED!" as a nod to bulkhead being in the wreckers AND it being a gamer term for being a dva ult.

pyra magna = zarya: both are powerful ladies with a commanding presence. if volskaya industries was still a thing, the giant mechs could be victorion.

elita 1 = sojourn: both were rebuilt to be warriors for peace.

rodimus = soldier: more of a meta reason but rodimus was chosen for the "old days" of transformers and how rodimus is not used in favor of sticking with optimus as the major lead, an old soldier lost to time if you will. and please pay attention that this is not hot rod. hound and kup was considered but rodimus won from the idea of what soldier would look like being mixed with either a green jeep, a green/blue pickup truck, or a burning red racer trailer.

blurr = tracer: fastgoodguy.

transmutate = echo: both came from pods, results may very how they exited said pod. graceful and kind.

prowl = cassidy: both are symbols of law that will strike out on their own hunts for justice.

arcee = mei: both are kind and hopeful for others. and snowball can be a little daniel witwicky.

wheeljack = sym: both are creators of strange machines and devices.

maccadam = torb: both are old masters of their crafts just trying to lay low. and both can down a few pints.

bumblebee = genji: agile new warrior for the autobots.

drift = hanzo: both are samurai that have been on most sides.

nosecone = venture: drill. that's it.

strongarm = brig: both are about justice. both are sturdy and strong. and they would probably learn from magnus.

springer = pharah: one of the few autobots that can fly. they each are like action heroes, one liners and headstrong.

minerva = mercy: both are motherly medics. not powerful on their own but very important.

ratchet = ana: both are old medics.

jetfire = baptiste: both switched sides to the good guys.

blaster = lucio: music goodguy.

perceptor = zen: both don't like to fight. both soft spoken.

beachcomber = lifeweaver: percifics and loves life.

windblade = kiriko: both have connections to strong spiritual stuff.

wing saber = illari: both are able to empower others and something tragic has happened to them.

blitzwing = bastion: in a situation where the whole cast is transformers, how is someone who can transform stand out? triple changer!!

wreck gar = junkrat: junkion and the jokester one.

trashmaster = roadhog: specifically the concept art for trashmaster looks like it would perfectly match with roadhog. junkion.

megatron = doomfist: both have their weapon as pretty much their arm. both just took the name to become a successor. both think the strong are fit to rule.

starscream = reaper: both can't fully die. both are pretty cowardly when push comes to shove. for the skin i would not only remove the soul filter, but also add a higher pitch cause that oddly works.

shockwave = moira: both are crazy scientists that care only for results. the healing hand would be the gun hand because spray, and the melee would look really funny wacking people with it.

soundwave = sombra: both are sneaky spies. both have minions, weather they chose to join or were forced. i would have the virus be ravage and the translocator be laserbeak.

blackarachnia = widowmaker: spider.

astrotrain = sigma: space. and in some version astro train is just helping his friends but isn't that evil and is kind.

lugnut = mauga: every team needs muscle.

shadow striker = junker queen: specifically the cyberverse design where they are mixed together with random parts and angry all the time fits JQ pretty well.

flamewar = ashe: a decepticon fembot that ALSO has a fire connection? we got a winner!

nemesis prime / ultra magnus armored mode = ramattra: to add a connection to orisa with the nemesis prime part, and also just the nemesis joke.

Transformers X Overwatch ideas

optimus prime = orisa ultra magnus = reinhardt cybertron / alpha trion = wrecking ball / hamond optimus primal = winston

bulkhead / miko = dva pyra magna = zarya elita 1 = sojourn rodimus = soldier blurr = tracer transmutate = echo prowl = cassidy

arcee = mei wheeljack = sym maccadam = torb bumblebee = genji drift = hanzo nosecone = venture strongarm = brig springer = pharah minerva = mercy ratchet = ana jetfire = baptiste blaster = lucio perceptor = zen beachcomber = lifeweaver

windblade = kiriko wing saber = illari

blitzwing = bastion wreck gar = junkrat trashmaster = roadhog megatron = doomfist starscream = reaper shockwave = moira soundwave = sombra blackarachnia = widowmaker astrotrain = sigma lugnut = mauga shadow striker = junker queen flamewar = ashe nemesis prime / ultra magnus armored mode = ramattra

[forgeline]

Mind blowing. Michel’s Auto Design’s “Blu My Mind” 1966 Chevrolet Corvette graced the Forgeline booth at the 2022 Goodguys Summit Racing Nationals in Columbus, Ohio. It’s powered by a 755HP Chevrolet Performance LT5 mated at a 8L90 transmission and rides on a Roadster Shop SPEC chassis, Corvette ZR1 carbon ceramic brakes, 275/30ZR19 & 355/20ZR19 Continental Tire Extreme Contact Sport tires, and 19x9.5/19x12 Forgeline forged three piece AL304 wheels finished with Polished centers & Polished outers! See more at: https://forgeline.com/customer-gallery/michels-auto-design

[tsaddelira]

Good Guy Skullie This was mainly a material/surface and worlflow study on; metal, clear liquid, glass, etc. figured I can do most of those on a character for fun. Skullie is just being the good guy that he is wink

[timelessvehicles]

Pipes from #Offenhauser in #Kurtis #American #heritage #brand at #goodguys #SWNats #americandesign #American #Design #americanstyle #carculture #builders #custom #SEMA #build #driveable #unique #build #restoration #bestrestoration #historiccar #classiccar #vintageracecar #collectible #mostbeautiful #restoration #bestrestoration #historicallysignificant #restomod #thoroughbred #hotrod #authentic #classic #hagerty #penskemuseum #gmarchives #historic #carmemes #carsofinstagram #instacars #racecar #cargram #carphotos #carphotographer #classiccars #vintagecar #historicdesign #collectible #mostvaluable (at Goodguys Southwest Nats)

[haifischkivenchy]

INCOHERENT SCREAMING EARTHSPARK IS. IS THE DREAM.

THE COLORFUL VISUALS THE CHARACTER DESIGNS THE TONE AND HUMOR OF THE SHOW IS SO ROICORE CATBOY SOUDNWAVE???? GOODGUY MEGATRON????? LIKEABLE HUMAN COMPANIONS N ITS ALSO ELITA FUCKING ONE-INCLUSIVE IM LOSING EVERY SMIDGE OF CONTROL I HAVE LEFT

[revchainsaw]

Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Greeting my flock of film freaks and welcome again to the Cult of Cult. Todays offering is a bit more of the mainstream blockbuster variety, but as films based on Video Games are still actually quite niche and vastly underestimated I think we should open our hearts to Sonic: The Hedgehog and hope that we find it a pleasing tithe to the cult. I am your beloved minster, The Reverend Chainsaw, and welcome to today’s service.

The Message

I must confess to the congregation that I was drinking mighty heavily of the lord’s Tennessee sour mash when I was taking in this movie. That said, I think that this is a great movie to have a drink with and I mean that in the best possible way. 

Sonic: The Hedgehog is of course based on the Sega video game franchise and stars Ben Schwartz as the titular blue rat. Schwartz brings his brand of high energy enthusiastic comedy to the voice role. While Schwartz is particularly on brand for Schwartz, is he on brand for Sonic? I’m not entirely sure, but I’m also not entirely sure I was ever in love with the old ways. I am not an avid fan or consumer of Sonic media and perhaps that means I am in a poor position to say. I am most familiar with the Sega games and Sonic cartoons from the 90s, and from what I have grasped the more recent entries with their more anime centric and high lore plots still owe quite a bit to the attitude era of the 90s. Sonic was a hero but he was also a bit of a cross between Mickey Mouse, the Flash, and Bart Simpson. As an angsty 90s boy I wanted to eat chili dogs and go very fast that was very appealing to me, but I’m not so sure it would be appealing to a vast audience of older millennials, or even todays kids. And though I think it would be a fair criticism to say that Ben Schwartz is playing sonic as basically the superhero version of his Dewey Duck from the VERY VERY good DuckTales reboot, I don’t think that it’s necessarily a bad thing. 

Dewey Duck the Hedgehog is a small mammal (also not a rodent, I wanted to say rodent and apparently hedgehogs are not rodents, just googled it) from an alien planet where his adoptive mother, an owl named Long Claw, fears that he will be hunted for his special powers, which I think is just super speed but it might be other things. In line with these concerns after an attack by pursuers Longclaw gives Sonic the Moses treatment and floats the special blue boy down the metaphorical river. Unlike Moses, however, Sonic is not found by ultra rich ultra powerful extra special people but is instead alone. Sonic lives alone in exile outside a small American town as a sort of local cryptid.

Thus begins a charming adventure. Through a poor decision to use his powers while working out some personal issues, Sonic inadvertantly draws the attention of the U.S Government and their nasty big brain baddy Dr. Robotnik. Sonic recruits a small town police officer with big city dreams to assist him in finding his magic rings so that he might flee from earth to an uninhabited mushroom kingdom. 

Now about these two human characters. Officer Everyman is played by cyclops from the X-men franchise. The actors name escapes me and so does the characters, and while, yes, I just looked up if hedgehogs were rodents, I will not be looking up this information. I like the review better this way. It makes me laugh. And while I don’t remember his name, I do remember that he used to live In Mt. Juliet, TN.  Anyway, what you should know about Officer Goodguy is that he drives a Toyota Tacoma!

That Toyota Tacoma is also continuously abused by the mad machinations of our films biggest draw: Jim Carey as Dr. Robotnik. If we were to pitch a Sonic movie, I don’t think anyone would jump to Jim Carey as the must have for the role, but after seeing this film, boy was it the best choice. The way he chews the scenery and plays off the rest of the cast and situations is just so much fun to watch. It’s fantastic to see Jim Carey back in a larger than life role. The Decision to play Jim Carey as the kind of condescending nerd who has taken their lack of social skills and leaned in as opposed to working on themselves was a brilliant choice. We’ve all known that kind of guy who tries to play the misanthrope just because they are too egotistical to recognize their flaws. Here Dr. Robotnik has given up on human connection in favor of subordination. His intellect is his only value, and thus he demands everyone around him acknowledge intellect as the only quality that matters as he has. It was a great choice.

From the point the chase begins the film becomes a road trip flick, and despite the fact that Sonic could supposedly cover the distance required in the blink of an eye we watch the ins and outs of our heroes relationship as they learn what home, and being a hero mean to them. By the climax it is pretty by the numbers, Sonic has come to feel at home on Earth and now that he has friends who care for him they can begin to make a world from which neither will have to flee; and of course, they beat the bad guy. FOR NOW. we are treated to an even crazier Dr. Robotnik stranded in the Fungus Dimension bent on revenge.

The Benediction

Now for all things Holy and Profane in this film, please rise for the Benediction.

Best Scandal: Sonic the Cosmic Horror

The original look of this film was mired in dread when the early footage and trailers dropped revealing a hideously uncanny hedgehog monster in the form of sonic. The memes are amazing, the toys are unsettling, there’s still plenty of Quasimodo Sonic stuff out there floating on the web and I suggest that you search it out, the laughter is good for your heart. Also if anyone wants to send me any creepy sonic merch I’ll take it. 

Thanks to the work of online fans and internet harassments, the studio felt it was going to lose money on the project and reeled back the release allowing for the design department to give us a more cartoony but less frightening alien monster. I mean he’s a cartoon, it’s okay for him to look like a cartoon. 

Best Scene: Noodle Dance

It’s hard to choose, and it feels a bit biased, but there are a few scenes with Dr. Robotnik that are just what make the movie more than a forgettable IP adaptation. Not that Ben Schwartz wasn’t doing great as the character but I feel Sonic as a whole would be lost in the milieu of CG spectacles and Super Hero Origin stories that we are bombarded with every year if not for Jim Carey’s performances; and even with them Sonic: The Hedgehog is not completely out of those woods. That said, I think Dr. Robotnik’s Alone Time Dance Party has to be the stand out sequence in my memory. I can’t really speak to what makes it so enjoyable, but damn if it isn’t just the best scene in the movie.

Best Character: Silicon Valley Dr. Robotnik

Do I even need to say it? It’s Dr. Robotnik. I’m not a fan of this villain from any other media. I always found Dr. Robotniks look unappealing, I’m not a huge fan of his powers, or using robot henchman. it always struck me as pretty boring how Sonic didn’t have a cool rogues gallery (i’m talking about 90s sonic) the way Mario did. However, they did something with the design, characterization, and performance that just made him such a fun villain. Also, my friend Jacksons mom said I looked like him and it didn’t hurt my feelings so.

Best Actor: Jim Carey

Jim Carey. It really seems like he’s all I’m talking about in this movie. Once again, I think Ben Schwartz did great and Sonic IS basically Dewey Duck in this movie. Dewey Duck is my favorite part of the rebooted DuckTales series, BUT he is just outmaneuvered by Jim Carey in this role. I think it’s a compliment enough to say that Ben Schwartz was even able to keep up with his energy, let alone play his quicker perkier foil. 

Worst Scene: Toyota Tacoma Commercial

Sonic: the Hedgehog’s worst scene would probably have to be the forced friend fight between Sonic and Officer Wachowski  during the car chase. It’s an overproduced weightless car chase scene with a contrived buddy cop controversy meant to force apart our heroes so that they can ultimately grow a little and come back together later in the movie. Not that I mind a movie like this to be so by the numbers, but it just felt like two of the blandest things on this movies plate being forced into one scene. I do like the idea of giving me the crap part of the dish in one flavorless generic bite, but that still doesn’t save it from being the worst scene in the movie. 

That Toyota Tacoma took a beating though.

Worst Feature: Nothing Ventured/ Nothing Earned

I’m sure many fans would feel that the worst feature of the film is that it isn’t loyal to any previous lore laden version of the character, (probably the one they like the most). In the portrayals of both Sonic and Dr. Robotnik there were decisions made that drastically differed from the ways they have been portrayed before. Sonic is naïve and idealistic, a bit childish, Dr. Robotnik is driven by a lot of insecurity. Where are the Chaos Crystals and my original character Grindy the Wolf Cub?

But I think that these are over all positive choices in a film that otherwise chose to play it incredibly safe. In their cautious approach to appeal to the widest possible audience the film makers gave us a pleasant and appealing cartoon romp but we are left with little to hold on to. The worst feature of Sonic: The Hedgehog is it’s safety.

Summary:

Sonic: The Hedgehog is often touted as “the first good video game movie”. A label that I disagree with wholeheartedly. It is certainly a good video game movie, but it’s not the first, and it is not by leaps and bounds better than other video game movies as a whole. It’s a sub genre that gets a ton of disrespect, and in a world where the biggest criticism levied against the Super Mario Bros is that it’s not a faithful adaptation, I don’t understand how Sonic the Buddy Cop/ Road Trip comedy is escaping that attitude.

All that said, I had a good time with this movie. But it felt like playing on the playground as a toddler. You have fun and then you leave and you don’t really remember what you played or who with. I’ll think about Jim Carey and Dewey Duck, but I had a hard time hating or loving anything this movie did in any strong way. I usually feel that a movie that is “bad” or “corny” or “shlocky” is always better than a movie that is generic, or pointless, or boring. Sonics pleasantness and cheerful energy just barely save it from being another Transformers franchise. I get that origin stories are hard, so I’m eagerly awaiting the next installment, and hopefully it’s going to do something that sets it apart. Probably not. 

Overall Grade: C

James Marsden! I just remembered!