#Design Pattern course online

[skywalkerslvt]

Stop thinking about her- cheater!Ellie Williams x AFAB Reader

❥Pairing: cheater!Ellie Williams x AFAB!Reader

❥Summary: Your ex-best friend's girlfriend approaches you at a party. You don't have it in you to push her away.

❥CW: smut, fingering, tribbing, a bit of thigh grinding, drinking, top ellie, ellie cheats on her girlfriend with you, this is kinda really cliche but idc im having fun, 5.4k words

❥a/n: finals are over SO LETS CELEBRATE WITH A FIC! here's the long awaited cheater ellie fic hope u guys likeeee <3

You didn’t know how you ended up slightly drunk and under your ex-best friend’s girlfriend. That’s a lie—you knew exactly how it happened, and you didn’t feel nearly as guilty as you should have.

Ellie’s lips were on yours, hot and desperate, her calloused hand sliding up under your shirt like she couldn’t touch enough of you fast enough. The room spun slightly, whether from the tequila or the weight of her body pressing you into the mattress, you weren’t sure. Her knee nudged your legs apart, and you felt her breath hitch when you shifted under her, your thighs brushing against her hip.

You knew this was wrong—knew it deep in your gut—but the thought barely lingered, drowned out by the feel of Ellie’s tongue against yours, her teeth nipping at your bottom lip as if she wanted to devour you. Your cheeks were flushed, skin burning where her fingers traced slow, deliberate patterns along your side. You hadn’t even realized your hands had tangled in her hair, pulling her closer like you couldn’t bear for her to pull away.

The distant thrum of music from the party downstairs was barely audible now, muffled by the closed door and the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears. It was someone’s room—a stranger’s, you guessed—but the thought was fleeting, lost as Ellie’s lips trailed along your jaw, down the column of your neck, leaving a trail of heat in their wake.

This wasn’t where you expected the night to end. But if you were being honest, maybe some part of you had hoped it would.

Of course, this didn’t just happen. It had been building for weeks, months even—long before tonight, long before you found yourself pressed into this bed with her.

-

It started years ago, back when your ex-best friend was still your best friend.

The two of you had been inseparable once, the kind of friendship people envied. Late-night texts, inside jokes, and an unshakable bond that felt like it could survive anything. But it didn’t.

You could barely remember what the fight had been about—a crush, maybe, or something equally stupid. What you did remember were the words: sharp, angry, and designed to hurt. And they had. Even after the apologies, after the promises to move on, the cracks remained.

The friendship that followed wasn’t the same. You still saw each other, still caught up over coffee or at mutual friends’ gatherings, but it was stiff, polite. Surface-level. You held onto the good memories, but deep down, resentment lingered like a splinter you couldn’t quite remove.

When you heard about Ellie, it was almost a relief. It gave your ex-best friend something else to focus on—someone else. Ellie was different, not the type you’d have expected her to date. She was quiet but sharp, with a sarcastic edge and a disarming smirk that felt equal parts charming and dangerous.

You didn’t meet her at first, just saw glimpses of her online. Mutual friends posted photos, and then one day, Ellie’s name popped up in your Instagram notifications. She’d followed you. 

Sure you thought she was cute, and sure after creeping her account and finding out you two had very similar interests you thought that maybe if your ‘friend’ hadn’t gotten to her first, you would’ve made a move on her–but that didn’t matter. She was dating the girl who had broken your heart, your trust, and because of that, you and Ellie would never exist in the same world. You weren’t even sure you wanted to exist in her world if she could date someone who had hurt you with such ease. So, you accepted the request–just out of politeness for your sort-of-friend, and to occasionally creep. 

At first, you thought nothing of it. She followed plenty of people in your circle, after all. But then came the likes. It started innocently enough with Ellie occasionally liking music you’d repost on your story, or pictures of animals, but then it escalated. After a few months, the likes came in on everything–on your selfies, your random candid shots, even the pictures you posted to your story. Every time, there it was: a little heart from Ellie.

It was flattering, sure, but also…odd. You didn’t know each other, not really. Mutuals, at best. You debated bringing it up to her girlfriend, but the thought felt petty, paranoid. So you let it go.

Until tonight.

-

The party wasn’t your scene, but your friends had dragged you along anyway. “You’ll have fun,” they said. “Just a couple of drinks, some music, maybe you’ll meet someone.”

You didn’t. Instead, you spent the first hour nursing a drink and scrolling through your phone, trying to ignore the chaos around you. The house was packed, the music loud enough to rattle your skull, and the air heavy with sweat and spilled alcohol.

You’d just decided to slip out quietly when you felt it—a prickle at the back of your neck, like you were being watched. You turned, scanning the crowded room, and that’s when you saw her.

Ellie.

She was leaning against the far wall, a drink in one hand, her other tucked into her jeans pocket. Her hair was a mess, the way it always seemed to be, and her eyes—those sharp green eyes—were locked on you.

You tried to ignore the way your stomach flipped, the heat creeping up your neck. You didn’t owe her anything. And yet, when she started moving toward you, you couldn’t look away.

“Hey,” she said, her voice low and almost lazy, like she wasn’t fully aware of the effect it had on you.

“Hey,” you replied, forcing yourself to sound casual, though your pulse was anything but.

She smiled, slow and crooked, her gaze sweeping over you in a way that made your skin prickle. “Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“Didn’t know you even knew who I was,” you shot back, more defensive than you intended.

Her smirk widened, and she took a sip of her drink before answering. “Of course I do. Hard to miss someone like you.”

Your breath caught, but you covered it with a scoff. “Right.”

Ellie’s smile lingered, that knowing glint still dancing in her eyes, but she didn’t push. She leaned back just enough, but not far enough to give you space. It was a subtle move, like she was waiting for something, but you couldn’t tell what.

“Where you headed?” she asked, her tone light but with an edge of something that made you pause.

You glanced away, trying to keep your cool, your heart picking up pace for reasons you refused to acknowledge. “I was just about to leave,” you muttered, not entirely convinced you’d find the door anytime soon.

Ellie arched an eyebrow, as if considering the idea for a moment. “It’s so early, though,” she said, her voice smooth. “Stay a bit. What’s the rush?”

You bit back a groan. She was pushing, but not in a way that felt forceful. It was more like she was testing your boundaries, and you had no idea why you were so willing to entertain the idea.

You shook your head, trying to convince yourself this was all a bad idea. “There’s nothing to stay for. My friends have all gone off with other people. Here, I have nobody to talk to.”

Ellie leaned in just a little, her gaze never leaving yours. “Talk to me.”

It was simple, that invitation, but it hit you like a wave. Talk to her? About what? The last thing you wanted was to get caught up in her world, the world that had been woven into your ex-best friend’s life, but something about Ellie’s words softened the sharp edge of your hesitation.

The inner battle raged in your mind. You knew it was wrong. You shouldn’t even consider it. She was your ex-best friend’s girlfriend. And your ex had hurt you. She’d torn apart a friendship you’d once cherished and now was a distant stranger. There was so much bitterness, so much anger still brewing under the surface, that even thinking about this felt like a betrayal in itself.

But then, there was Ellie; Her confident, nonchalant way of speaking. The way her eyes never left you, pulling you in despite the walls you’d built.

You could say no. You should say no.

But somehow, you found yourself staying. The words slipped out before you could stop them. “Fine. One drink.” Your voice was quiet, guarded, but it was enough for Ellie to smile again, a smile that wasn’t as smug as before, but rather, almost… relieved?

She gestured to an empty corner, and you followed her, reluctantly, a part of you still wanting to walk away. You sat next to her, the air between you thick with unspoken tension. The hum of the party was still in the background, but it felt far away now, like it had no bearing on this moment.

Ellie poured you another drink, slower this time, like she was measuring each movement. Her fingers brushed against yours as she handed it to you, and the electricity that sparked between you was impossible to ignore. You held her gaze, trying to ignore the heat in your chest, the tightness in your stomach. You were overthinking it.

She’s not flirting with me, you told yourself silently. She’s just being friendly. Nothing wrong with that. She’s in a happy relationship, with someone I don’t even care about anymore. But even as you thought that, the doubts crept in.

Ellie raised her glass, giving you a small smile. “To new friends, I guess.”

You scoffed, not sure whether to laugh or roll your eyes. “Friends, huh?”

Her smile didn’t waver. “Why not? You never know.”

You took a sip, eyeing her over the rim of your glass. You weren’t sure if she was trying to be charming or if this was just how she was. Either way, you couldn’t seem to shake the strange feeling settling deep in your chest.

For a long moment, neither of you said anything. You were both too busy staring into your drinks. It was a strange kind of quiet, one that stretched longer than it should have.

Ellie was the first to break it. Her voice was low and warm, just a bit too casual. “So, you’re just gonna sit here, all quiet, or do you actually know how to have a conversation?”

You glanced over at her, eyebrow slightly raised, feeling a sudden tug of defensiveness. “Not much to say,” you muttered, your gaze flicking back down to your drink, as though the glass could somehow shield you from her attention.

She didn’t seem put off by your response, though. Ellie’s lips quirked, and she leaned in just a little, enough that her presence felt a bit too close. “I don’t know… I think you’ve got something interesting behind that quiet thing you’ve got going on.”

Your eyes flicked back to hers, finding her watching you with an intensity that wasn’t exactly friendly. But it wasn’t aggressive either. It was… curious, maybe? Like she was trying to figure you out. And for some reason, that made you a little nervous. You forced yourself to respond, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that she was picking apart every little thing about you.

“I don’t know about that,” you said, the words coming out a little more clipped than you meant. “Just don’t feel like talking much.”

Ellie didn’t take offense. Instead, her gaze lingered on you with that same focused intensity, and there was a playful glint in her eyes now, like she’d caught a glimpse of something beneath your defenses. She leaned back slightly, just enough to give you space, but not enough to make you feel like she was backing off.

After a beat, she asked, “So, what’s your deal? Why are you here?”

You shrugged a little, casting a glance around at the crowded party, the music pulsing in the background, the laughter of strangers bouncing off the walls. “Parties aren’t really my thing,” you admitted. “I was dragged here by my friends. They think I need to get out more.” You made a vague motion to the chaos around you. “And, well, here I am.”

Ellie’s smile softened a little, her gaze flicking from you to the crowd. “Yeah, I get that,” she said. “I’m not exactly the life of the party either. More of a people-watcher.”

You nodded, relieved to find some common ground. The tension between you had started to ease, but Ellie didn’t let the silence stretch too long.

“I mean,” she continued, leaning in just a little closer again, “I guess I can’t blame you for being here. There’s a certain kind of energy to the chaos, right? But, uh, it doesn’t seem like you’re soaking it in.”

“No,” you agreed with a small laugh, “I’m definitely more of a ‘watching from the sidelines’ kind of person.”

Ellie grinned, her eyes glinting with mischief. “Good. Makes you interesting.” She paused. “Most people here? They’re just noise. But you? You’ve got a vibe.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you tried not to let the compliment throw you off, but the way she said it, like she was really seeing you, made something warm unfurl inside you. “I don’t know about that,” you said, shifting awkwardly. “I think I’m just trying not to get caught in someone’s conversation I don’t want to be in.”

“Fair enough.” Ellie leaned back in her chair, giving you a little space. But she kept her eyes on you, observing. The quiet between you two felt comfortable now, and you couldn’t help but wonder how long this easy connection would last.

Before you knew it, Ellie was pouring you another drink, making conversation about your shared interests, your friends, family–anything and everything, really. You drifted from one topic to another, carried by Ellie’s easy charm and your hesitant curiosity. She had a way of drawing you in, her words casual but laced with something deeper, like every sentence was an invitation to unravel her. And you hated how much you wanted to take it.

She asked about your life—what you did, what you liked—and you answered in half-truths, skimming the surface but never diving too deep. You didn’t trust yourself to let her in, not when her very presence felt like a betrayal. But Ellie had a way of making you forget your reservations. She listened like every word mattered, her green eyes locked onto yours, her body angled toward you as if no one else in the room existed.

Somewhere between your third drink and Ellie’s story about a disastrous road trip she’d taken, you felt yourself relaxing. Laughing, even. You caught yourself leaning closer, your fingers brushing hers when you reached for your glass, and you knew you should pull back. But you didn’t.

The party had started to wind down. The music was softer now, the crowd thinning out as people either left or found places to crash. The room felt quieter, more intimate, and you were acutely aware of how close Ellie was sitting, her knee just barely brushing yours.

You know,” Ellie said, her voice quiet, almost thoughtful, “you’re different from what I’ve heard about you.”

Your stomach twisted at her words. She had heard about you through someone? Your ex best-friend must have been talking bad about you. You raised an eyebrow, confused. “What do you mean?”

Ellie’s lips curved into a sly grin, her voice dipping lower, a touch of mischief in her gaze. “I don’t know… I figured you’d be more, I don’t know, standoffish? Maybe a little harder to talk to.”

You tried not to let the thought of your ex-best friend—Ellie’s girlfriend—saying things about you to the admittedly attractive girl in front of you. But the old, familiar annoyance still simmered beneath the surface. Instead, you leaned in a little closer, your lips pulling into a teasing smile as your head buzzed from the alcohol. “Guess I’m full of surprises, huh?”

Ellie’s grin widened, but there was a flicker of something else in her eyes, something that made you wonder if she knew exactly what you were implying. “Yeah,” she said, her fingers brushing over the back of your hand where it rested on the table, sending a jolt of electricity up your arm. “You’re way more interesting than most people.”

Internally, you slapped yourself. What the hell are you doing? This was a mess—flirting with your ex-best friend’s girlfriend, someone you didn’t even know that well. But another part of you, the part that still held a grudge against your old friend, didn’t care. What’s one more mistake? You could blame it on the booze tomorrow. 

You shrugged, trying to play it cool. “Maybe I’m just good at keeping people on their toes.”

Ellie didn’t look away. She leaned in a little closer, and you could feel the heat radiating off her. The air around you seemed to hum with tension, thick and electric.

Ellie watched you for a moment, her lips curling into a slow, knowing smile. “It’s really crowded in here,” she said, her voice dropping to something quieter, more intimate. “I saw a quiet room upstairs. Wanna go?”

You froze, your breath catching in your throat. Was she—was she hitting on you?

No. I’m overthinking this. It’s just a quiet place. That’s all.

You forced a smile, trying to play it cool. “Sure, why not?”

You both stood up, and as you made your way upstairs, your mind was racing. Am I reading this wrong? She has a girlfriend. What am I doing? But then, in the back of your mind, you reminded yourself that you weren’t doing anything wrong—yet.

The room upstairs was quieter than the chaos downstairs. It was dimly lit, the soft hum of distant music floating up from below. You both settled on the bed, and Ellie’s proximity made the air feel heavy with tension.

You leaned back slightly, trying to shake the nervous energy crawling up your spine. “So, uh, what now?”

Ellie’s eyes never left you, her gaze intense, like she was trying to figure something out. She leaned in closer, close enough that you could feel the warmth of her breath against your skin. “We talk, I guess.” She gave you a half-smile, then added, “But I’m kinda tired of talking.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and your body tensed as she reached out, her fingers brushing your arm lightly. “What are you saying?” you asked, your voice a little shakier than you meant.

Ellie’s lips quirked up at the edges as she leaned even closer, her eyes darkening. “I’m saying you’re way more interesting than this room. And I think I want to know you better.”

You swallowed, trying to keep your composure. This is insane. She has a girlfriend. Why is she doing this?

“Ellie…” you breathed, unsure of what you wanted to say, your mind spinning.

She cut you off, her lips ghosting over yours as she whispered, “Tell me to stop.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and the words stuck in your mouth as her lips hovered just above yours, barely brushing against you.

You blinked, feeling a mix of confusion and desire. What about her girlfriend?

You pulled away just slightly, your voice shaking. “What about her?”

Ellie’s eyes flashed with something unreadable. “What about who?”

You hesitated, biting your lip, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “Your girlfriend.”

Ellie paused for a moment, her gaze flicking to the side, before meeting your eyes again. “You really want to talk about her right now?”

Your heart pounded in your chest. You looked at her for a moment, all the weight of the situation crashing down on you. Then, finally, you shook your head. “No… fuck it.”

And just like that, Ellie’s lips found yours, and everything else faded away.

Ellie kissed you with a desperation that made your head spin, her hands framing your face as if to keep you from slipping away. Every rational thought dissolved in the heat of her touch, leaving nothing but the electric hum of her lips on yours and the weight of her body pressing you into the bed.

Her hand trailed down your side, hesitating just briefly before slipping under your shirt. The warmth of her palm against your bare skin sent a shiver racing through you, and you arched into her touch despite yourself. This was wrong—every fibre of your being knew that—but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when Ellie kissed you like you were the only thing keeping her tethered to the ground.

She pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, her green eyes dark with something you couldn’t quite place. “Tell me to stop,” she murmured again, her voice low and almost pleading.

But you didn’t. Instead, you tangled your fingers in her hair and pulled her back down to you, your lips meeting hers in a kiss that left no room for hesitation. Ellie groaned softly against your mouth, her grip on you tightening as if she couldn’t get close enough. It was intoxicating, the way she touched you, the way she made you feel like you were on fire from the inside out.

The world outside that room ceased to exist. There was no party, no ex-best friend, no girlfriend—just Ellie and the dizzying, reckless pull of her. Your mind screamed at you to stop, to think, to pull away before this went any further, but your body betrayed you at every turn. When her hand slipped lower, fingertips grazing the waistband of your jeans, you gasped, your breath hitching in your throat.

Ellie paused, her forehead resting against yours as she caught her breath. “You okay?” she asked softly, her voice tinged with concern that made your chest ache.

You nodded, swallowing hard, though your heart was pounding so loudly you were sure she could hear it. “Yeah,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “I’m okay.”

Her lips brushed against yours again, softer this time, as if she were giving you the chance to stop her. But when your hands slid down to her waist, pulling her closer, she took it as the permission she’d been waiting for.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew this wouldn’t end well. This wasn’t a story with a happy ending—there was too much history, too many tangled emotions, too many people who would get hurt. But for now, with Ellie’s lips on yours and her body warm against you, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else.

For now, it was enough.

Ellie’s lips moved to your jaw, trailing kisses down to your neck, where her teeth scraped lightly against your skin, making you shiver. Your head tilted back instinctively, giving her more access, but even through the haze of alcohol and desire, a thought pushed its way to the surface.

“Ellie,” you whispered, your voice trembling. Her fingertips slipped under your waistband, her fingers grazing the bare skin of your hip, but you pressed your hands against her shoulders, trying to gather enough strength to speak. “Aren’t you—are you sure you're not worried about your girlfriend—?”

Before you could finish, Ellie’s teeth sank gently into the sensitive curve of your neck, drawing a gasp from your lips. She sucked at the spot, slow and deliberate, before pulling back to meet your gaze. Her green eyes burned with an intensity that made your breath catch, her lips brushing against your ear as she murmured, “Stop thinking about her.”

Your stomach twisted at her words, torn between the guilt gnawing at the edges of your conscience and the heat pooling low in your belly. Before you could respond, Ellie’s hands gripped your hips, pressing you firmly into the mattress as she kissed you again, hard and demanding. When she pulled back, her voice was low and rough, the hint of a smirk tugging at her lips.

“I’m only worried about getting your clothes off right now,” she said, her words sending a shiver down your spine.

Her teeth found your neck again, biting just hard enough to make your head spin. Each mark she left felt like a brand, a reminder of the line you’d already crossed and the point of no return you were hurtling toward. Her hands roamed over your body, her touch both possessive and reverent, and for the moment, you let yourself forget everything else.

Ellie’s lips found the edge of your jawline, trailing kisses down to your collarbone, where her teeth sank just hard enough to send a jolt of heat straight to your core. Her hands were everywhere at once, caressing, gripping, claiming you in ways that left you breathless. When her fingers hooked into the waistband of your jeans, tugging them down, you lifted your hips to help her, the denim peeling away like it was the last barrier between you and the inevitable.

She tossed your jeans aside, her gaze raking over your body with an intensity that made your skin flush. “Fuck,” Ellie all but groaned, her voice thick with desire as her hands found your thighs, her thumbs brushing over your skin in slow, teasing circles. She looked at you like she was savoring every inch of you, and it made your chest tighten in ways you didn’t fully understand.

Her hoodie and tank top were gone in the next heartbeat, revealing the lean, taut muscles of her torso. Your hands moved on their own, sliding up her stomach and over her chest, feeling the way her body tensed under your touch. Ellie groaned softly, leaning into your hands before claiming your lips again in a kiss that was all teeth and desperation. Her body pressed you into the mattress, her thigh slotting between your legs, and the friction made you gasp.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” she muttered, her voice low and rough as she shifted her hips, the pressure against you making your breath hitch. Ellie’s hands found your panties next, tugging them down slowly, her green eyes locked on yours as if daring you to stop her. You didn’t. You couldn’t. When you kicked them off, she followed, shoving her boxers and jeans off in a single, hurried motion until there was nothing left between you but skin and heat.

Ellie lowered herself onto you again, her thigh pressing between your legs with just enough pressure to make you moan as her wet pussy grinded against your thigh. She captured your moan with her lips, kissing you deeply as she began to move, her body grinding against yours in a rhythm that made your toes curl. Her skin was warm, slick with a thin sheen of sweat, and the way her muscles shifted and tensed against you was mesmerizing.

Her hand slipped down your torso, playing with your breasts before continuing their path between your thighs. Her deft fingers swept up your slit, collecting the wetness before circling your clit with just the right amount of pressure. You cried out at the touch, hips bucking wildly against her hand as she slid two fingers inside your tight heat while her thumb rubbed at your clit.

“You like that? Yeah you do–that’s a good girl. Take my fingers like a good girl,” Ellie praised as her fingers quickened their pace, the wet squelching of your cunt filling the room as her fingers pistoned in and out of you. The pressure between your legs was building fast–faster than it ever had with anyone else. God, was this girl some sort of sex god? 

Before you knew it, your orgasm washed over you, your pussy gushing and fluttering around Ellie’s fingers as you moaned out her name. Her fingers slowed, hips still moving against your thigh as your chest heaved in an attempt to catch your breath. 

After a beat of silence, Ellie cleared her throat. “Are–are you oka–”

You cut her off, pulling her face to yours and crashing your lips against hers in a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. “Want more, Els. Want you to ride me,” you mumbled against her lips, mind still hazy with the aftershocks of your orgasm. Ellie closed her eyes, resting her forehead against yours as a guttural moan left her lips. 

“Fuck. Y-yeah, alright. I’ll make you feel good, baby.”

And with that, her hand slipped under your back, lifting your hips to angle you just right as she lowered her dripping pussy onto yours, your slick aiding her as she slowly rocked her hips against yours–testing the waters. When you moaned and bucked upwards, grabbing her hips and pressing them harder against yours, she began to rock against you with more purpose. The friction was electric, the pressure building with each movement as her body pressed into yours. Your legs tangled with hers, pulling her closer, needing her in ways that felt both primal and impossible to articulate.

Ellie’s lips found your neck again, her teeth scraping and biting, leaving marks you knew would last for days. “You like that?” she murmured against your skin, her voice dripping with confidence and desire. When your hips bucked against hers in response, she chuckled darkly, her grip on your waist tightening as she thrust her cunt harder against yours, the friction on your clit all too much.

The sensation was overwhelming, her body perfectly aligned with yours as you moved together. The slick heat between you only made it easier, your bodies sliding and grinding in perfect sync. Each roll of her hips sent sparks racing through you, the pressure coiling tighter and tighter in your belly.

Ellie shifted slightly, one of her hands sliding down your side to cup your hip, guiding you against her. “Fuck, you feel so good,” she groaned, her voice cracking with need. Her other hand tangled in your hair, pulling your head back so she could kiss you deeply, her tongue sliding against yours in a way that made your head spin.

Your nails raked down her back, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as the tension in your core built to a breaking point. Ellie must have felt it too, her movements growing more erratic, her breath hot and uneven against your neck.

“Come for me,” she murmured, her voice low and commanding. “Let go, baby. I’ve got you.”

Her words sent you spiraling, the heat and pressure exploding all at once as your body arched against hers, a cry spilling from your lips that she silenced with a deep, searing kiss. Ellie followed moments later, her body shuddering against yours as her grip on you tightened, her breaths coming in harsh, uneven gasps.

For a long moment, neither of you moved, the room filled only with the sound of your labored breathing and the faint creak of the mattress beneath you. Ellie’s body was heavy and warm against yours, her skin slick with sweat, and you found yourself clinging to her, your fingers tangled in her hair as you tried to catch your breath.

When she finally lifted her head to look at you, her green eyes were soft, vulnerable in a way that made your chest ache. She didn’t say anything, just brushed a strand of hair from your face before leaning down to kiss you again, slower this time, as if savoring the moment. She pulled away, gazing up at you softly. 

Ellie’s fingers brushed your jaw, her touch softer now, almost hesitant. “Was it… good?”

You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head at the ridiculousness of the question. “You seriously asking me that right now?”

Ellie grinned, but the lightness didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Just making sure,” she said, voice softer this time.

A silence stretched between you, thick and heavy. You could still feel the heat of her against you, but the moment had shifted—tilted into something more fragile, more dangerous.

You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to sit up, the cool air biting at your skin. Ellie watched you, her expression guarded now, like she was waiting for you to say something. Maybe waiting for you to break the spell.

You ran a hand through your hair, trying to steady your thoughts. “We shouldn’t have—”

Ellie sighed, pushing herself up on her elbows. “I know.” But there was no regret in her voice, only something dangerously close to satisfaction.

You should have left it at that. You should have gathered your clothes, walked out of that room, and never looked back.

But then Ellie reached for you again, her fingers catching your wrist, her touch warm and grounding.

And despite everything—despite the guilt, despite the consequences waiting just outside that door—you didn’t pull away.

Not yet.

Tags: @sevyscoven

[sydneymykah]

☆MY FASHION ICONS☆

How to turn influence into originality

I think everyone should have at least 2 - 3 different fashion icons. Whether it's an artist, model, designer, fictional character or even cartoon. It's these influences that can help build upon your own fashion sense and style. Relating and gravitating towards certain people can help us decide how we want to present ourselves to the world. Help us find our inner confidence shine through to the physical. Taking bits and pieces from other influences to make something completely your own.

This post is in three sections

1. How finding your influences can help you find your style

2. My icons and their style

3. How I use their influence to find my own original style

(Also I use fashion icon and style icon interchangeably. The basis is just someone who’s fashionable and has a style you feel inspired by)

Lets get into it

FINDING INFLUENCE

Maybe you watched a movie when you were younger and a character dawned an outfit that has stuck with you forever. A specific show or movie has stayed with you simply because of the fashion alone. You discovered that you would give anything to dress like the people you grew up seeing on your screens. To a celebrity's iconic street style or a characters impeccable fashion choices. What we naturally gravitate towards is what inevitably ends up being our main influence. Knowing what we are inspired by helps us figure out how we want to represent ourselves. Today I'm focusing on fashion and style.

If you're someone who wants to figure out what inspires you I'd suggest to go explore all genres of films and tv. Regardless the decade I bet you, you will find a movie or show that resonates with you in terms of fashion/style and aesthetics. Pinterest of course is also an amazing place to look for inspo. Especially if you already have an idea of what you want but need expanding upon it. Environment also affects inspiration. I've seen people's style and how they express themselves completely change because they moved abroad or just simply to a new city. I hope people who read this who are in an environment who cant express themselves the way they want are able to find a place for them someday. If you cant find an environment physically, I'd suggest finding one online. Twitter communities, Tumblr and discord servers pertaining to your interests can help you extremely.

Now, people might struggle to take what inspires them and make something of their own without looking like a straight up carbon copy. Not knowing how to build a style and not look like they're wearing a costume. What I've found to be helpful is to start off by noticing patterns with how your influences dress. If one is a celebrity you can probably find interviews of them talking about the style you're trying to implicate. If it's a character(s) there's a high chance there are YouTube videos and even tiktoks dissecting their style. The best part about this is that you can pick and choose what you like and what you want to try out.

That is also how you eventually find your own style through influence. You have to do things through trial and error. I know that makes people wince because they don't want to look ridiculous but it's true. The main thing you need is confidence. And if you don’t have that fake it till you make it sis. I can think of many people and celebrities who started off one way and evolved into the icons they are today. To people like Rihanna, Bella Hadid, and Sabrina Carpenter. Even with them you can see what influences their style. Rihanna (who has gone through many fashion phases) once being very heavily influenced by 80's UK British punk rock style and Americana. Bella recently being influenced by vaquero and cowgirl chic fashion because of her current cowboy boyfriend Adan Banuelos. Sabrina being very influenced by baby doll aesthetics, lingerie, and 60's style of clothing. You can see with all of their influences they're able to make it theirs. Of course they have stylists to help them(not to take away from their own creativeness) but you can still find ways to help yourself.

Even I am in the trial and error stage. Finding out what I like and what my current influences wear that I want to try too. What helps me is making mood boards and finding pieces that look similar to the ones my inspirations wear. It’s important to note that just buying statement pieces won’t help you build style because it’s harder to create different outfits with them. Basics are VITAL. So don’t overlook them when dissecting your influences. Let me show you how I dissect the patterns and fashion sense my fashion icons have and how I use these as blueprints in figuring out how I want to style myself.

MY ICONS

FRAN FINE

Played by the fabulous Fran Dresher, Fran Fine was the main character in the extremely popular and iconic sitcom of the 90's "The Nanny". Fran being a flashy girl from Flushing Queens who stumbles into a nanny job taking care of rich bachelor Maxwell Sheffield's three kids. The shows main plot is the will they won't they dynamic between Fran and Mr. Sheffield and how unconventional of a nanny Fran is.

Her unconventional yet charming nature reflects in her many iconic outfits. Many pieces being traditionally sophisticated like blazers and turtlenecks are made more flirty and tempting with mini skirts. Frans style didn't shy away from any sort of color, texture or pattern. Wearing things that range from a brick pantsuit, a rainbow sequined strap dress, tiger print blazer and mini skirt set, many bright colored fur coats, and full vinyl and leather matching sets. Her main inspo to her fashion seems to take from 60’s and mod fashion trends. Especially with her big hair and headbands being her main choice of accessory.

Frans typical silhouette would consist of some sort of turtleneck or vest. If she wore a vest it'd usually would have some sort of blouse underneath (collared or another turtleneck). Her bottoms would either be fitted pants, a mini skirt, or a mini dress. Frans signature shoe was a classic pump heel and would usually wear some sort of stocking or tights with them. (usually black) Occasionally she'd switch out the pumps for a boot that would either be reminiscent of 60's mod or just a regular heeled boot. Fran loved a matching set so typically her skirts would usually match her jackets. Her jackets typically being cropped or regular sized blazers. A lot of them being fur trimmed.

CHER

Cher is a famous musician, actress and Tv host. She was the IT girl of the 70's deemed " Goddess of Pop" and was known muse for the incredible Bob Mackie, one of my favorite fashion designers.

Cher was known for her impeccable and ground breaking style. She was unique and was never afraid to dress outside the box. Proudly showing off her stomach and wearing very risqué mesh outfits. Cher's approach to fashion was like a hybrid of bohemian, Disco and old Hollywood glamour. The main thing I think of when it comes to Cher is how she was almost always decked out in sequins and diamonds. Forever sparkling and shining in the cameras. Looking like a colorful disco ball. Cher was also known to not shy away from feathers, furs, and metallics. Considering she can technically be considered a showgirl and had her own popular show filled with musical numbers it makes sense for her to wear that sort of fashion.

Cher's classic silhouette was usually some sort of form fitting, skin showing dress or two piece. She would start off covered in some sort of shawl or jacket that was usually fur or covered in feathers. Then she would reveal her outfit. Typically the outfit would show some a lot of skin, usually her stomach, chest and arms. She was almost aways wearing cross body dresses and tops. a top that would wrap around Chers chest but still show off her core and arms. If Cher wasn't wearing a dress with this type of top she was wearing flared disco pants/Bell bottoms. Similar to Fran, Cher never strayed from interesting patterns and designs. Both very flashy and fashion forward women who knew how to light up a room with just their style alone.

JEM

Jem, from the 80’s cartoon "Jem and the Holograms" is the lead singer of her pop rock band of the same name. Not only that but she’s also secretly Jerrica Benton, the groups manager and owner of her late father's record label starlight music. Jem's 80's fashion can only be described as truly outrageous along with her big pink hair.

Jem of the Holograms was a unique show not only for its premise but because the main cast almost always had a new outfit every episode. Jem didn’t have a consistent silhouette but her outfits were adjacent or the inverse to her alter self. Jerrica being more conservative and covered while jem was more flashy and glamourous. Like a rock star should. One thing consistent with jem were her colors. Pink being her iconic color along with purple, light blue, fuchsia, and yellow.

Jem wore everything from pant suits, bodycon dresses, ball gowns, evening gowns, trench coats, matching sets, and bodysuits. All with 80’s trends like shoulder pads, fingerless gloves, popped collars, patterns like polka dots, layered necklaces, and mini skirts (one reminiscent of tutus artists like Cyndi Lauper and Madonna would wear) The one accessory that stays consistent with her is her gem star earrings and if you notice in the show are the bands symbol. In many of her outfits she dawns a star shape or pattern

*Note that not just Jem inspires my fashion tastes in the show but other characters as well. The other person inspiring me second to her is her antagonist Pizzazz who I've opted as my alter ego. especially considering Jem wears pink and Pizzazz wears green, (opposite colors)

CREATING YOUR OWN STYLE

If it’s not obvious based off the three examples I gave, I like dressing like the brightest thing in the room. The star. The showgirl. The main character of you will. I like to be dressed up even if I’m the only one doing so. So naturally I gravitate to people (or characters) who dress like that. Showgirls like Lola Falana and Josephine Baker inspire me too. Now what I do is take the inspirations and make a mood board. You might've seen my "The Vibe I Bring to the Function" post. That is one example. I've created many moldboards of the type of style I want to have. By taking those influences I notice the similarities between them then make a base line. Here's what I've noticed with mine:

Sequins and rhinestones

Feathers and fur

Leather/Vinyl

Figure hugging

Skin showing

Bodysuits

Turtlenecks

Fitted Blazers/Suits

Flared pants/Bell Bottoms

Matching skirt/pants and jacket sets

Animal Print

Bold Prints/Patterns

Cross body/Halter tops

Bold and bright colors

Then I take this andattribute it to what I know looks good on me. Like certain accessories. for example headbands and bamboo hoops (usually in gold). Speaking of you should also learn your colors. Coincidentally Jems colors are actually some of mine. Especially the color pink. But like I said above trial and error is how you soon figure out what works for you and what doesn't. I used to have a romper body suit once that was baggy with spaghetti straps. The pants were hemmed with elastic so it looked like sweatpants… That's when I realized that if I wanna wear a bodysuit it looks better if its form fitting and flared at the leg lol. Asking people what looks good on you helps a lot too. A lot of the stuff I figured out looks good on me is because I consulted some good friends. When it comes to my environment I'm in an astrology discord chat with some close friends and long story short I'm associated with peacocks so I consider that into my style as well. I'm also from the south so southern inspired outfits also intrigue me. I take this all and experiment with it. I currently have a bunch of animal prints in my close to a peacock corset to an orange velvet bellbottoms. This is only the beginning.

At the end of it all it comes down to experimenting, finding what looks good and realizing that what you gravitate towards. Learning to style yourself is as easy as looking up the basics on YouTube and building on from there. Your icons in fashion will help you get to the direction you want and one day you’ll see how much you’ve developed.

Also ALWAYS remember that you’re in charge here. You can change whenever and whatever you want. You don’t have to find your style and stick with it forever. Like I mentioned before Rihanna has been through multiple different fashion phases, we’re seeing the same with Doja cat as well. Your influences now can be completely different later. Whether it’s your environment or tastes that change. Whatever you find in life that influences you. So today I might be dressing like a 70's showgirl the next a man-eater vampire. Still me at the end of the day. And whoever your icons are, or whatever your inspired by at the end of it all should be reflection of how you want to express yourself.

✧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Xoxo, Sydney Mykah -☆

[cherrychilli]

18+

Eddie Munson x AFAB reader, established relationship, lingerie, allusions to oral sex(F), PIV sex

a/n: I'm no seamstress by any means but I can do a decent enough job with a needle and thread and I love making my own lingerie from time to time so it got me thinking about dear sweet horny Eddie and what it might be like when you let him in on your little hobby.

You'd first told him about it a few months into your relationship, on a day when a press of his lips to the corner of your mouth had turned into open mouthed kisses, his tongue wrapped around yours. Eddie had pulled you closer to feel more of you then, settling you in his lap, pushing your skirt up to find the black, hand sewn lacy garters circling the thickness of your thighs, made dainty and pretty with ruching and bows.

He doesn't even know what they're called – all he knows is that he likes them, a lot and he tells you so between kisses, tracing the soft fabric with his fingers, pinching the delicate lace with a low whistle. He slips in a corny but sweet line about how it makes your thighs look like they've been giftwrapped just for him and that gets a giggle out of you, telling him you made them yourself.

"You serious?", he looks up at you, amazement shining bright in his deep mahogany eyes even when you try to downplay it, telling him it's not that hard. But your modesty does nothing to stop him from thinking you're the most talented person he's ever met and he reminds you of that mixed in with more praise when you change positions and he's down on his knees, slipping his fingers under each garter while he fits his head between your legs.

"Turning up in a pretty little outfit like this? that's begging to have my tongue on you, baby. You shoulda known that", he tuts against your clothed mound, licking a broad stripe up your panties, tasting the wetness that had gathered there on the black cotton.

He only pulled out the stitching on one garter that day – unintentional of course but unavoidable too given how tightly he had to hold you down in place as you writhed. It didn't trouble you though because it was nothing you couldn't mend with your needle and some thread back at home.

From then on, whenever you feel inspired to tackle a new design he's all sorts of encouraging, driving you and accompanying you to get all the things you need – all of the sewing supplies; fabric, thread, lace, ribbon, elastic and more. He helps you decide on which colors to get and he makes the gesture of paying for it all too, wanting to spoil you. Not to mention it's kind of like he's buying himself a present too, knowing you'll model the undergarments for him when you're done.

The most you let him help with after that is taking your measurements, letting him wrap the measuring tape around your hips and bust while you guide him on how to do it correctly but what that leads to is a lot of wandering touches and a few sneaky pinches on your ass, having to playfully swat his hands away if you hope to get anything done.

Eddie backs down with a little whine but all the faux pouting's just for show. He finds space on your bed while you look up DIY tutorials online at your desk before you get down to sewing, all of your supplies laid out neatly by your side, ready to be used.

While you're busy he spends his time strumming away on his guitar, pencil tucked behind his ear as he brainstorms lyrics for a new song. Both of you liked working on your own projects this way, in the same room because you appreciate having each other's company and presence to surround yourself with while you create.

Though Eddie had promised not to look too much he struggles to uphold that promise as he sneaks peaks at you cutting out patterns for a matching lace bra and panty set. He adores the cute way your brows scrunch together in concentration when you thread your needle and how you sometimes mirror him with your tongue pinched between your lips while you meticulously stitch all the individual cut outs together.

Somewhere between the time it takes you to get the panties finished and the bra started he approaches you, one hand clamped over his eyes so he can't see your progress – he knows how much you want to surprise him with the final result. Held out in the other is a mug of that tea you like, having made a quick trip to your kitchen and back, a bag of potato chips cradled in the crook of his elbow for you too.

You thank him and gladly take the offerings, cheeks growing warm when he plants a quick kiss on the top of your head. "Don't overwork yourself", he coos into your hair, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze before he heads back to your bed and picks up his guitar again.

The tune Eddie's playing carries you through the rest of your stitching and close to an hour later you swivel your desk chair around in his direction. "I'm done", you announce with a sunny smile and he grins back at you, fingers abandoning his guitar. "You gonna get changed right now?" he asks hopefully, eyes twinkling.

"Yup", you answer him, popping the 'P' with a little wink. You gather the set in your arms, stepping into the bathroom. "Wait here, I wanna do a reveal", you tell him before closing the door, all giddy with girlish excitement, proud of how the it all came out.

The wait isn't long but every second that passes has Eddie feeling like his head's full of fireworks, finding it impossible to remain still, fingers drumming on his knees, legs hung over the side of your bed, socked feet tapping away on your carpeted floor.

You don't announce yourself once you've changed, unlocking the bathroom door and letting it swing open as you lean against the doorframe, letting your boyfriend take in your newest creation.

You know you've succeeded when his lips part, jaw going slack and his eyes going wide to rake over every inch of you, stunned.

He makes grabby hands at you and its somehow made cuter given his age so you step forward to let him get a closer look, occupying the space between his spread legs, letting him place his warm hands on the bare skin of your waist.

It's always a rare moment when Eddie goes silent, words escaping him as he quietly admires the way the material wraps around your proportions perfectly and the the cheeky cut of your panties as you do a little spin for him, the front a soft lilac satin, the back a matching shade of lace to reveal your ass through the floral embroidery.

The bra is simple – nothing too elaborate like some of the designs you'd scrolled through but it compliments the underwear well. The straps are thin and rest comfortably on your shoulders, the rest sewn in a longline style. It's sheer with the same floral lace as your panties so your nipples show through, your breasts supported well even without padding or underwire for extra softness, all with a tiny, pretty ribbon bow stitched right in the middle to match the one on the front of your panties too.

"You're so fucking beautiful", me utters, pulling you closer to kiss you right above your belly button, making your chest flutter with a thousand beating wings, a hurricane of butterflies taking flight just beneath your skin.

You let him lay you down on the bed and he's far more gentle than he needs to be when he slips your panties to the side, not wanting to stretch or snag the lace and ruin all your hard work. Your belly feels warm like sunlight spilling through your window in the morning because he's so careful with the pretty underwear while he runs a finger through your wet folds, making you feel like something as delicate as porcelain, something to touched with care and worshiped. It makes you hunger for more, pulling him closer by his shoulders.

"Wanna feel you inside", you place your lips on his, hands helping him to unbuckle his belt as he leans over you. You pull not so gently at his clothing, a big contrast to how he's handling you, tossing each article to the side impatiently while you remain in your cute little ensemble. You wouldn't be ridding yourself of your underwear tonight and he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Can't believe I've got the prettiest doll in town all to myself", Eddie huffs a breath against the column of your neck at the same moment you suck one in, pressing his cock inside you, so thick and hard it makes the stretch that much better.

"And she's all dressed up just for me"

[forgingtheblade]

how do you keep your pants up when you’re performing? it’s incredible!

belt.

i started this with a sheet of upholstery vinyl that i laminated together front and back using heat-n-bond. i then cut out each of the pieces i needed and painted the edges with a black satin paint to create the illusion of burnished leather! i used riveting tools to cut out all of the holes on the belt, and of course, to install the rivets that hold the buckle in place.

the first belt accessory is the potion! i’ve had this bottle sitting around for like three and a half years now, empty, from the target dollar spot around halloween. it was finally time to put it to good use! the solution is water, acrylic inks for color, and gold and silver mics powder for the shimmer when agitated! i was trying to capture the nuances between the greyish color of the turtle master potion in recent updates, and the bluish purple of the enchantment glints prior. after mixing it up, i simply sealed it with some silicone. all of these materials were just things i had sitting around my studio already, which is awesome.

i cut and painted more strips, and modeled a potion holder after ones i’ve seen at every renfaire and convention vendor hall since i can remember. no use changing up a formula that works! i did end up adding a decorative cover to the snap here, and painting the rivets to match the belt’s hardware.

using the same processes, i made a loop to feed through the loop on the totem!

again modeled vaguely after another design for a sword frog i liked online, i sketched up a pattern for a weapon frog! i wanted it to be somewhat versatile since i’ll have more than one weapon i’ll want to put in it, so i opted for three snap straps to hold whatever weapon it is in place. again, i covered the snaps with decorative ones and painted all the rivets gold.

it fits toothpick with just a little give, so it can fit a weapon up to just a little bit bigger around than toothpick’s upper handle!

originally that was everything i had planned for the belt, faux leather wise, but I realized there was no way in hell i was carrying a bag with this cosplay, so I wanted a pouch for my phone. I made a couple mistakes while working on this. most notably, I chose a metallic cord for the thread. why did i do this. it took probably twice as long as it would have had i just used embroidery floss because of the nightmare challenges metallic threads pose.

I do think it ultimately turned out nice, though!

The only pictures I have with all of the finished pieces on the belt at once are on the next full costume sneak peek, so you’ll have to wait either for those to be ready or for me to finish the wither skull props, whichever comes first ;)

taglist under the cut, reply or send an ask to be added!

@too-much-alphabet-soup, @embers-archive , @nothing-to-see-around-here, @pluralphilza, @aleeaviancrowalt, @islib

[py-dreamer]

...um...hi?

so if anyone's concerned, no I'm not dead.

Thankfully the digital studio is intact this year (thank god I would've had another mental breakdown istg-)

to all my lovely marshiemallows, thank y'all so much for your patience omg!!!!

(and to all my mutuals, @furornocturna and @violetjedisylveon in particular I'm so sorry I haven't been responding or active online at all, I'm so sorry-)

But to sum it up:

I'm on holiday in my home country rn and have been having a blast personally. Meeting relatives, childhood friends, the food, familiar places ect.

and I'll admit I do have a lot of free time outside that but honestly I do feel a wee bit burnt out ngl.

And with my spare time, I've jumped down the demon slayer rabbit hole

(huh who would've guessed)

Basically it's all been a huge break for me.

But I will still post lmk stuff dw. Though don't be surprised if you see a kny thingy pop up somewhere in the dreamscape!!

And for those curious about the fic:

I'm sorry I haven't updated at all, the wips are still in my drafts. I have no formal posting schedule but after returning and getting some work sorted out I'll see what I can do! But no promises!

Regardless, about the pic then.

It is a WIP. It's a sketch for a shadowalkers piece (Wooh! Haven't heard of that au in a while eh?)

I have redesigned mostly Bai He's outfit and added a little pouch for Macaca. The change was mostly so I had more freedom to do different top designs for the new members of the fam!

If anyone has suggestions for outfit designs or accessories or jewelery, hair, anything! let me know pls!

This is just the WIP stage and I really want to achieve that semi-wild, untamed but mysterious and refined gypsy look.

(Also its a guilty pleasure of mine to dress up my characters in aus or just for the fun of it lol)

And fun fact: Wukong's the only one in the fam wearing shoes lol.

Another fun fact: That brick pattern rag he's wearing? Was once a part of tripitaka's cassock from their days on the mountain. (see shadowalkers lore summary for context)

I didn't forget their tails this time! Wheeee!!

Oooh! Ooooh! Also the top half of Wukong's body? I did that myself sans references!!! Woooooooh!!!

Not that there's anything wrong with references of course. Pros and beginners use them and I do recommend them for poses, ideas and such.

Though I am proud I could think of something off like memory and make it work! I think...you can tell me otherwise lol

(BTW this is the after of the main plot where shadowpeach reconciles, they escape the town and Bai He gains a new stepbrother!)

SH!T I REALIZED I FORGOT MEI!!!!

UM I'LL ADD HER IN!! PROMISE!!!!

[vombatuspiraticus]

I finally got this piece into a frame! It pleases me greatly. This dumb inane phrase serves as a weirdly soothing mantra for me.

Never forget. Mental is hocus. Health not pocus.

Cobbled the design together from various smaller designs I found here and there (listed at the bottom of this post).

Inspired, of course, by this gem:

The base for the rat came from a pattern on braceletbook.com, but I added some line work on top to really make them pop. I tried a reverse image search to figure out where that frog came from, but as far as I can tell the only place that image exists online is the pinterest pin where I found it, which links only to the image file itself. The cauldron is modified from a pattern which came from this blog post.

[zombidog]

✮ BIRTHDAY GIFTIDS FOR @rjtbot!! ✮

We hope you like these!! :D you're by no means obligated to use them, of course— we're just leavin em at your doorstep for you to take at will, mostly based on vibes and IDs you already have :3 this is in order from left to right, top to bottom!

-> gifttranspawpads

⋆ transpawpads is defined as "a term for those who feel as though they should have paw pads" (coin is here)

⋆ prompted by a recent conversation; we thought it was only fitting hehe

-> gifttranscuspid

⋆ transcuspid is defined as "feeling like your canine teeth should be pointier" (coin is here)

-> gifttrisadored

⋆ a variance on transadored, which is defined as "a term for individuals who feel as though they should be/should’ve been adored by everyone" (coin is here)

⋆ we thought the gold looked pretty as an alternative to the transID's pink as visual communication of differentiation!

⋆ :333

-> gifttransspiralpupil/giftspiralpupilbodic

⋆ transspiralpupil, or spiralpupilbodic, is defined as "a transbody identity where one identifies or desires as having spiral-shaped pupils" (coin is here)

-> gifttransinternetangel

⋆ transinternetangel is defined as "when someone is/desires to be an internet angel, whatever that may mean to you :3" (coin is here) (yes we're keeping the :3 in the definition, it'd be a sin not to /silly)

⋆ the definition we had in mind for this was simply someone who's online a lot, or possibly someone adored in specifically online spaces! (but ofc it can be used however you want if you wanna keep it!)

-> giftmercuryamian

⋆ mercuryamian is defined as "where one desires to have blood made of mercury" (coin is here)

-> gifttranshaunted

⋆ transhaunted is defined as "a transID identity where one wishes to be/identifies with being/feels like they should have been haunted" (coin is here) (okay this one's a little self-indulgent bc of our inmortui, sue me /silly)

-> gifttrans2000saesic

⋆ trans2000saesic is defined as "a transaesthetic subterm where one desires/identifies as being part of the 2000s aesthetic despite not currently being part of it" (coin is here)

-> all of these flags were designed from the original flags of the terms, with items taken from emojis, sites like pixabay, or directly from the flags! the patterns are made to look like wrapping paper :3

-> if any of the original coiners want these taken down, please let us know!!

[plor-bindery]

Bound: Kinkuary ‘23 by wolfpants

Next up in my tour of binds I made for wolf: Kinkuary ‘23 by @wolfpants

When I first reached out to wolf to ask permission to bind their fic, I asked if there was anything in their fic that they wished they had bound. They mentioned their Kinkuary fics but immediately said "oh but that's impractical because it's a whole collection" or something to that effect, which of course I took as a challenge. (Authors, be warned. I will almost certainly bind the thing you say I should not try to bind.)

Anyone who is wisely subscribed to wolf's works on AO3 probably had the same delightful experience as I did throughout February 2023: namely, waking daily to a little notification that there was a small kinky gem awaiting consumption at one's leisure. Wolf writes sex incredibly well: the viscerality and immediacy of it, but also the thoughts and turn-ons and how it lights up each character's brain differently. They have a gift for making me love tropes and kinks I might not ever think to read or write otherwise.

All that being said, I felt slightly weird about being like HERE IS A BOOK OF YOUR KINK THAT SAYS KINK ON THE SPINE so (as wolf has noted) I went all Victorian and made a dust jacket to cover up the bind if wolf ever wants to make it look a lot more innocent than it is.

So many firsts in this one for me: first dust jacket, first index, first collection of fics, first table of contents... It was a blast from start to finish and I learned SO MUCH.

Materials and process chat under the cut.

Materials:

Ye olde wooqu bookcloth off Amazon, HTV vinyl, 24 lb cream letter (wrong grain, forgive me) folios, machine-made endbands, black cardstock end papers.

The dust jacket is probably the only newish thing for me: I did a print using Staples' online service (which probably contributed to my choices because I also use this service for actual work things...) It was a poster print on matte paper.

Process:

This was a pretty straightforward bind but the typeset was full of learning curves. I use InDesign for typesetting and figured out how to set up a TOC and index. Wolf is a GREAT tagger so once I realized I'd either have a seven-page run of front matter listing the tags for each fic, or an index condensing them down, it was a no-brainer. And because wolf is so brilliant with tags, this led to my favorite index entries ever under Draco's listing (see photo.) I also figured out how to use styles to make every story have a header of its title, etc.

The great artwork of Eros is from rawpixel.

The other new thing for me was, of course, the dust jacket. I was disappointed to realize I'd messed up the measurements somehow once I printed, but it was close enough, so I went with it. I tried to rub some beeswax into the cover to help preserve it a bit but not sure it did much. If I were doing it again now, I'd use some Mod Podge matte aerosol fixative.

The dust jacket artwork is from the Smithsonian online collection of vintage seed catalogues. (S/O to my librarian spouse for the tip!) I created the spine matching the style as closely as I could, and then I went to town with silliness for the flaps. (This is probably a downside to having a fic writer also be a binder. I have trouble not writing something when the opportunity presents itself in the course of binding...)

The cover design is, of course, just a whole bunch of cursive X's. I'd hoped to have the title and author be a knockout from that pattern but it proved too hard to weed/read, so I ironed black HTV over the red pattern instead.

This is the only one of the set of four binds that I haven't (yet) bound for myself as a personal copy, but I think I will probably do so at some point! I was running out of black bookcloth at the time, so I prioritized wolf's copy for obvious reasons.

[antiporn-activist]

I thought y'all should read this

I have a free trial to News+ so I copy-pasted it for you here. I don't think Jonathan Haidt would object to more people having this info.

Tumblr wouldn't let me post it until i removed all the links to Haidt's sources. You'll have to take my word that everything is sourced.

End the Phone-Based Childhood Now

The environment in which kids grow up today is hostile to human development.

By Jonathan Haidt

Something went suddenly and horribly wrong for adolescents in the early 2010s. By now you’ve likely seen the statistics: Rates of depression and anxiety in the United States—fairly stable in the 2000s—rose by more than 50 percent in many studies from 2010 to 2019. The suicide rate rose 48 percent for adolescents ages 10 to 19. For girls ages 10 to 14, it rose 131 percent.

The problem was not limited to the U.S.: Similar patterns emerged around the same time in Canada, the U.K., Australia, New Zealand, the Nordic countries, and beyond. By a variety of measures and in a variety of countries, the members of Generation Z (born in and after 1996) are suffering from anxiety, depression, self-harm, and related disorders at levels higher than any other generation for which we have data.

The decline in mental health is just one of many signs that something went awry. Loneliness and friendlessness among American teens began to surge around 2012. Academic achievement went down, too. According to “The Nation’s Report Card,” scores in reading and math began to decline for U.S. students after 2012, reversing decades of slow but generally steady increase. PISA, the major international measure of educational trends, shows that declines in math, reading, and science happened globally, also beginning in the early 2010s.

As the oldest members of Gen Z reach their late 20s, their troubles are carrying over into adulthood. Young adults are dating less, having less sex, and showing less interest in ever having children than prior generations. They are more likelyto live with their parents. They were less likely to get jobs as teens, and managers say they are harder to work with. Many of these trends began with earlier generations, but most of them accelerated with Gen Z.

Surveys show that members of Gen Z are shyer and more risk averse than previous generations, too, and risk aversion may make them less ambitious. In an interview last May, OpenAI co-founder Sam Altman and Stripe co-founder Patrick Collison noted that, for the first time since the 1970s, none of Silicon Valley’s preeminent entrepreneurs are under 30. “Something has really gone wrong,” Altman said. In a famously young industry, he was baffled by the sudden absence of great founders in their 20s.

Generations are not monolithic, of course. Many young people are flourishing. Taken as a whole, however, Gen Z is in poor mental health and is lagging behind previous generations on many important metrics. And if a generation is doing poorly––if it is more anxious and depressed and is starting families, careers, and important companies at a substantially lower rate than previous generations––then the sociological and economic consequences will be profound for the entire society.

What happened in the early 2010s that altered adolescent development and worsened mental health? Theories abound, but the fact that similar trends are found in many countries worldwide means that events and trends that are specific to the United States cannot be the main story.

I think the answer can be stated simply, although the underlying psychology is complex: Those were the years when adolescents in rich countries traded in their flip phones for smartphones and moved much more of their social lives online—particularly onto social-media platforms designed for virality and addiction. Once young people began carrying the entire internet in their pockets, available to them day and night, it altered their daily experiences and developmental pathways across the board. Friendship, dating, sexuality, exercise, sleep, academics, politics, family dynamics, identity—all were affected. Life changed rapidly for younger children, too, as they began to get access to their parents’ smartphones and, later, got their own iPads, laptops, and even smartphones during elementary school.

As a social psychologist who has long studied social and moral development, I have been involved in debates about the effects of digital technology for years. Typically, the scientific questions have been framed somewhat narrowly, to make them easier to address with data. For example, do adolescents who consume more social media have higher levels of depression? Does using a smartphone just before bedtime interfere with sleep? The answer to these questions is usually found to be yes, although the size of the relationship is often statistically small, which has led some researchers to conclude that these new technologies are not responsible for the gigantic increases in mental illness that began in the early 2010s.

But before we can evaluate the evidence on any one potential avenue of harm, we need to step back and ask a broader question: What is childhood––including adolescence––and how did it change when smartphones moved to the center of it? If we take a more holistic view of what childhood is and what young children, tweens, and teens need to do to mature into competent adults, the picture becomes much clearer. Smartphone-based life, it turns out, alters or interferes with a great number of developmental processes.

The intrusion of smartphones and social media are not the only changes that have deformed childhood. There’s an important backstory, beginning as long ago as the 1980s, when we started systematically depriving children and adolescents of freedom, unsupervised play, responsibility, and opportunities for risk taking, all of which promote competence, maturity, and mental health. But the change in childhood accelerated in the early 2010s, when an already independence-deprived generation was lured into a new virtual universe that seemed safe to parents but in fact is more dangerous, in many respects, than the physical world.

My claim is that the new phone-based childhood that took shape roughly 12 years ago is making young people sick and blocking their progress to flourishing in adulthood. We need a dramatic cultural correction, and we need it now.

1. The Decline of Play and Independence 

Human brains are extraordinarily large compared with those of other primates, and human childhoods are extraordinarily long, too, to give those large brains time to wire up within a particular culture. A child’s brain is already 90 percent of its adult size by about age 6. The next 10 or 15 years are about learning norms and mastering skills—physical, analytical, creative, and social. As children and adolescents seek out experiences and practice a wide variety of behaviors, the synapses and neurons that are used frequently are retained while those that are used less often disappear. Neurons that fire together wire together, as brain researchers say.

Brain development is sometimes said to be “experience-expectant,” because specific parts of the brain show increased plasticity during periods of life when an animal’s brain can “expect” to have certain kinds of experiences. You can see this with baby geese, who will imprint on whatever mother-sized object moves in their vicinity just after they hatch. You can see it with human children, who are able to learn languages quickly and take on the local accent, but only through early puberty; after that, it’s hard to learn a language and sound like a native speaker. There is also some evidence of a sensitive period for cultural learning more generally. Japanese children who spent a few years in California in the 1970s came to feel “American” in their identity and ways of interacting only if they attended American schools for a few years between ages 9 and 15. If they left before age 9, there was no lasting impact. If they didn’t arrive until they were 15, it was too late; they didn’t come to feel American.

Human childhood is an extended cultural apprenticeship with different tasks at different ages all the way through puberty. Once we see it this way, we can identify factors that promote or impede the right kinds of learning at each age. For children of all ages, one of the most powerful drivers of learning is the strong motivation to play. Play is the work of childhood, and all young mammals have the same job: to wire up their brains by playing vigorously and often, practicing the moves and skills they’ll need as adults. Kittens will play-pounce on anything that looks like a mouse tail. Human children will play games such as tag and sharks and minnows, which let them practice both their predator skills and their escaping-from-predator skills. Adolescents will play sports with greater intensity, and will incorporate playfulness into their social interactions—flirting, teasing, and developing inside jokes that bond friends together. Hundreds of studies on young rats, monkeys, and humans show that young mammals want to play, need to play, and end up socially, cognitively, and emotionally impaired when they are deprived of play.

One crucial aspect of play is physical risk taking. Children and adolescents must take risks and fail—often—in environments in which failure is not very costly. This is how they extend their abilities, overcome their fears, learn to estimate risk, and learn to cooperate in order to take on larger challenges later. The ever-present possibility of getting hurt while running around, exploring, play-fighting, or getting into a real conflict with another group adds an element of thrill, and thrilling play appears to be the most effective kind for overcoming childhood anxieties and building social, emotional, and physical competence. The desire for risk and thrill increases in the teen years, when failure might carry more serious consequences. Children of all ages need to choose the risk they are ready for at a given moment. Young people who are deprived of opportunities for risk taking and independent exploration will, on average, develop into more anxious and risk-averse adults.

Human childhood and adolescence evolved outdoors, in a physical world full of dangers and opportunities. Its central activities––play, exploration, and intense socializing––were largely unsupervised by adults, allowing children to make their own choices, resolve their own conflicts, and take care of one another. Shared adventures and shared adversity bound young people together into strong friendship clusters within which they mastered the social dynamics of small groups, which prepared them to master bigger challenges and larger groups later on.

And then we changed childhood.

The changes started slowly in the late 1970s and ’80s, before the arrival of the internet, as many parents in the U.S. grew fearful that their children would be harmed or abducted if left unsupervised. Such crimes have always been extremely rare, but they loomed larger in parents’ minds thanks in part to rising levels of street crime combined with the arrival of cable TV, which enabled round-the-clock coverage of missing-children cases. A general decline in social capital––the degree to which people knew and trusted their neighbors and institutions––exacerbated parental fears. Meanwhile, rising competition for college admissions encouraged more intensive forms of parenting. In the 1990s, American parents began pulling their children indoors or insisting that afternoons be spent in adult-run enrichment activities. Free play, independent exploration, and teen-hangout time declined.

In recent decades, seeing unchaperoned children outdoors has become so novel that when one is spotted in the wild, some adults feel it is their duty to call the police. In 2015, the Pew Research Center found that parents, on average, believed that children should be at least 10 years old to play unsupervised in front of their house, and that kids should be 14 before being allowed to go unsupervised to a public park. Most of these same parents had enjoyed joyous and unsupervised outdoor play by the age of 7 or 8.

2. The Virtual World Arrives in Two Waves

The internet, which now dominates the lives of young people, arrived in two waves of linked technologies. The first one did little harm to Millennials. The second one swallowed Gen Z whole.

The first wave came ashore in the 1990s with the arrival of dial-up internet access, which made personal computers good for something beyond word processing and basic games. By 2003, 55 percent of American households had a computer with (slow) internet access. Rates of adolescent depression, loneliness, and other measures of poor mental health did not rise in this first wave. If anything, they went down a bit. Millennial teens (born 1981 through 1995), who were the first to go through puberty with access to the internet, were psychologically healthier and happier, on average, than their older siblings or parents in Generation X (born 1965 through 1980).

The second wave began to rise in the 2000s, though its full force didn’t hit until the early 2010s. It began rather innocently with the introduction of social-media platforms that helped people connect with their friends. Posting and sharing content became much easier with sites such as Friendster (launched in 2003), Myspace (2003), and Facebook (2004).

Teens embraced social media soon after it came out, but the time they could spend on these sites was limited in those early years because the sites could only be accessed from a computer, often the family computer in the living room. Young people couldn’t access social media (and the rest of the internet) from the school bus, during class time, or while hanging out with friends outdoors. Many teens in the early-to-mid-2000s had cellphones, but these were basic phones (many of them flip phones) that had no internet access. Typing on them was difficult––they had only number keys. Basic phones were tools that helped Millennials meet up with one another in person or talk with each other one-on-one. I have seen no evidence to suggest that basic cellphones harmed the mental health of Millennials.

It was not until the introduction of the iPhone (2007), the App Store (2008), and high-speed internet (which reached 50 percent of American homes in 2007)—and the corresponding pivot to mobile made by many providers of social media, video games, and porn—that it became possible for adolescents to spend nearly every waking moment online. The extraordinary synergy among these innovations was what powered the second technological wave. In 2011, only 23 percent of teens had a smartphone. By 2015, that number had risen to 73 percent, and a quarter of teens said they were online “almost constantly.” Their younger siblings in elementary school didn’t usually have their own smartphones, but after its release in 2010, the iPad quickly became a staple of young children’s daily lives. It was in this brief period, from 2010 to 2015, that childhood in America (and many other countries) was rewired into a form that was more sedentary, solitary, virtual, and incompatible with healthy human development.

3. Techno-optimism and the Birth of the Phone-Based Childhood

The phone-based childhood created by that second wave—including not just smartphones themselves, but all manner of internet-connected devices, such as tablets, laptops, video-game consoles, and smartwatches—arrived near the end of a period of enormous optimism about digital technology. The internet came into our lives in the mid-1990s, soon after the fall of the Soviet Union. By the end of that decade, it was widely thought that the web would be an ally of democracy and a slayer of tyrants. When people are connected to each other, and to all the information in the world, how could any dictator keep them down?

In the 2000s, Silicon Valley and its world-changing inventions were a source of pride and excitement in America. Smart and ambitious young people around the world wanted to move to the West Coast to be part of the digital revolution. Tech-company founders such as Steve Jobs and Sergey Brin were lauded as gods, or at least as modern Prometheans, bringing humans godlike powers. The Arab Spring bloomed in 2011 with the help of decentralized social platforms, including Twitter and Facebook. When pundits and entrepreneurs talked about the power of social media to transform society, it didn’t sound like a dark prophecy.

You have to put yourself back in this heady time to understand why adults acquiesced so readily to the rapid transformation of childhood. Many parents had concerns, even then, about what their children were doing online, especially because of the internet’s ability to put children in contact with strangers. But there was also a lot of excitement about the upsides of this new digital world. If computers and the internet were the vanguards of progress, and if young people––widely referred to as “digital natives”––were going to live their lives entwined with these technologies, then why not give them a head start? I remember how exciting it was to see my 2-year-old son master the touch-and-swipe interface of my first iPhone in 2008. I thought I could see his neurons being woven together faster as a result of the stimulation it brought to his brain, compared to the passivity of watching television or the slowness of building a block tower. I thought I could see his future job prospects improving.

Touchscreen devices were also a godsend for harried parents. Many of us discovered that we could have peace at a restaurant, on a long car trip, or at home while making dinner or replying to emails if we just gave our children what they most wanted: our smartphones and tablets. We saw that everyone else was doing it and figured it must be okay.

It was the same for older children, desperate to join their friends on social-media platforms, where the minimum age to open an account was set by law to 13, even though no research had been done to establish the safety of these products for minors. Because the platforms did nothing (and still do nothing) to verify the stated age of new-account applicants, any 10-year-old could open multiple accounts without parental permission or knowledge, and many did. Facebook and later Instagram became places where many sixth and seventh graders were hanging out and socializing. If parents did find out about these accounts, it was too late. Nobody wanted their child to be isolated and alone, so parents rarely forced their children to shut down their accounts.

We had no idea what we were doing.

4. The High Cost of a Phone-Based Childhood

In Walden, his 1854 reflection on simple living, Henry David Thoreau wrote, “The cost of a thing is the amount of … life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.” It’s an elegant formulation of what economists would later call the opportunity cost of any choice—all of the things you can no longer do with your money and time once you’ve committed them to something else. So it’s important that we grasp just how much of a young person’s day is now taken up by their devices.

The numbers are hard to believe. The most recent Gallup data show that American teens spend about five hours a day just on social-media platforms (including watching videos on TikTok and YouTube). Add in all the other phone- and screen-based activities, and the number rises to somewhere between seven and nine hours a day, on average. The numbers are even higher in single-parent and low-income families, and among Black, Hispanic, and Native American families.

In Thoreau’s terms, how much of life is exchanged for all this screen time? Arguably, most of it. Everything else in an adolescent’s day must get squeezed down or eliminated entirely to make room for the vast amount of content that is consumed, and for the hundreds of “friends,” “followers,” and other network connections that must be serviced with texts, posts, comments, likes, snaps, and direct messages. I recently surveyed my students at NYU, and most of them reported that the very first thing they do when they open their eyes in the morning is check their texts, direct messages, and social-media feeds. It’s also the last thing they do before they close their eyes at night. And it’s a lot of what they do in between.

The amount of time that adolescents spend sleeping declined in the early 2010s, and many studies tie sleep loss directly to the use of devices around bedtime, particularly when they’re used to scroll through social media. Exercise declined, too, which is unfortunate because exercise, like sleep, improves both mental and physical health. Book reading has been declining for decades, pushed aside by digital alternatives, but the decline, like so much else, sped up in the early 2010s. With passive entertainment always available, adolescent minds likely wander less than they used to; contemplation and imagination might be placed on the list of things winnowed down or crowded out.

But perhaps the most devastating cost of the new phone-based childhood was the collapse of time spent interacting with other people face-to-face. A study of how Americans spend their time found that, before 2010, young people (ages 15 to 24) reported spending far more time with their friends (about two hours a day, on average, not counting time together at school) than did older people (who spent just 30 to 60 minutes with friends). Time with friends began decreasing for young people in the 2000s, but the drop accelerated in the 2010s, while it barely changed for older people. By 2019, young people’s time with friends had dropped to just 67 minutes a day. It turns out that Gen Z had been socially distancing for many years and had mostly completed the project by the time COVID-19 struck.

You might question the importance of this decline. After all, isn’t much of this online time spent interacting with friends through texting, social media, and multiplayer video games? Isn’t that just as good?

Some of it surely is, and virtual interactions offer unique benefits too, especially for young people who are geographically or socially isolated. But in general, the virtual world lacks many of the features that make human interactions in the real world nutritious, as we might say, for physical, social, and emotional development. In particular, real-world relationships and social interactions are characterized by four features—typical for hundreds of thousands of years—that online interactions either distort or erase.

First, real-world interactions are embodied, meaning that we use our hands and facial expressions to communicate, and we learn to respond to the body language of others. Virtual interactions, in contrast, mostly rely on language alone. No matter how many emojis are offered as compensation, the elimination of communication channels for which we have eons of evolutionary programming is likely to produce adults who are less comfortable and less skilled at interacting in person.

Second, real-world interactions are synchronous; they happen at the same time. As a result, we learn subtle cues about timing and conversational turn taking. Synchronous interactions make us feel closer to the other person because that’s what getting “in sync” does. Texts, posts, and many other virtual interactions lack synchrony. There is less real laughter, more room for misinterpretation, and more stress after a comment that gets no immediate response.

Third, real-world interactions primarily involve one‐to‐one communication, or sometimes one-to-several. But many virtual communications are broadcast to a potentially huge audience. Online, each person can engage in dozens of asynchronous interactions in parallel, which interferes with the depth achieved in all of them. The sender’s motivations are different, too: With a large audience, one’s reputation is always on the line; an error or poor performance can damage social standing with large numbers of peers. These communications thus tend to be more performative and anxiety-inducing than one-to-one conversations.

Finally, real-world interactions usually take place within communities that have a high bar for entry and exit, so people are strongly motivated to invest in relationships and repair rifts when they happen. But in many virtual networks, people can easily block others or quit when they are displeased. Relationships within such networks are usually more disposable.

These unsatisfying and anxiety-producing features of life online should be recognizable to most adults. Online interactions can bring out antisocial behavior that people would never display in their offline communities. But if life online takes a toll on adults, just imagine what it does to adolescents in the early years of puberty, when their “experience expectant” brains are rewiring based on feedback from their social interactions.

Kids going through puberty online are likely to experience far more social comparison, self-consciousness, public shaming, and chronic anxiety than adolescents in previous generations, which could potentially set developing brains into a habitual state of defensiveness. The brain contains systems that are specialized for approach (when opportunities beckon) and withdrawal (when threats appear or seem likely). People can be in what we might call “discover mode” or “defend mode” at any moment, but generally not both. The two systems together form a mechanism for quickly adapting to changing conditions, like a thermostat that can activate either a heating system or a cooling system as the temperature fluctuates. Some people’s internal thermostats are generally set to discover mode, and they flip into defend mode only when clear threats arise. These people tend to see the world as full of opportunities. They are happier and less anxious. Other people’s internal thermostats are generally set to defend mode, and they flip into discover mode only when they feel unusually safe. They tend to see the world as full of threats and are more prone to anxiety and depressive disorders.

A simple way to understand the differences between Gen Z and previous generations is that people born in and after 1996 have internal thermostats that were shifted toward defend mode. This is why life on college campuses changed so suddenly when Gen Z arrived, beginning around 2014. Students began requesting “safe spaces” and trigger warnings. They were highly sensitive to “microaggressions” and sometimes claimed that words were “violence.” These trends mystified those of us in older generations at the time, but in hindsight, it all makes sense. Gen Z students found words, ideas, and ambiguous social encounters more threatening than had previous generations of students because we had fundamentally altered their psychological development.

5. So Many Harms

The debate around adolescents’ use of smartphones and social media typically revolves around mental health, and understandably so. But the harms that have resulted from transforming childhood so suddenly and heedlessly go far beyondmental health. I’ve touched on some of them—social awkwardness, reduced self-confidence, and a more sedentary childhood. Here are three additional harms.

Fragmented Attention, Disrupted Learning

Staying on task while sitting at a computer is hard enough for an adult with a fully developed prefrontal cortex. It is far more difficult for adolescents in front of their laptop trying to do homework. They are probably less intrinsically motivated to stay on task. They’re certainly less able, given their undeveloped prefrontal cortex, and hence it’s easy for any company with an app to lure them away with an offer of social validation or entertainment. Their phones are pinging constantly—one study found that the typical adolescent now gets 237 notifications a day, roughly 15 every waking hour. Sustained attention is essential for doing almost anything big, creative, or valuable, yet young people find their attention chopped up into little bits by notifications offering the possibility of high-pleasure, low-effort digital experiences.

It even happens in the classroom. Studies confirm that when students have access to their phones during class time, they use them, especially for texting and checking social media, and their grades and learning suffer. This might explain why benchmark test scores began to decline in the U.S. and around the world in the early 2010s—well before the pandemic hit.

Addiction and Social Withdrawal

The neural basis of behavioral addiction to social media or video games is not exactly the same as chemical addiction to cocaine or opioids. Nonetheless, they all involve abnormally heavy and sustained activation of dopamine neurons and reward pathways. Over time, the brain adapts to these high levels of dopamine; when the child is not engaged in digital activity, their brain doesn’t have enough dopamine, and the child experiences withdrawal symptoms. These generally include anxiety, insomnia, and intense irritability. Kids with these kinds of behavioral addictions often become surly and aggressive, and withdraw from their families into their bedrooms and devices.

Social-media and gaming platforms were designed to hook users. How successful are they? How many kids suffer from digital addictions?

The main addiction risks for boys seem to be video games and porn. “Internet gaming disorder,” which was added to the main diagnosis manual of psychiatry in 2013 as a condition for further study, describes “significant impairment or distress” in several aspects of life, along with many hallmarks of addiction, including an inability to reduce usage despite attempts to do so. Estimates for the prevalence of IGD range from 7 to 15 percent among adolescent boys and young men. As for porn, a nationally representative survey of American adults published in 2019 found that 7 percent of American men agreed or strongly agreed with the statement “I am addicted to pornography”—and the rates were higher for the youngest men.

Girls have much lower rates of addiction to video games and porn, but they use social media more intensely than boys do. A study of teens in 29 nations found that between 5 and 15 percent of adolescents engage in what is called “problematic social media use,” which includes symptoms such as preoccupation, withdrawal symptoms, neglect of other areas of life, and lying to parents and friends about time spent on social media. That study did not break down results by gender, but many others have found that rates of “problematic use” are higher for girls.

I don’t want to overstate the risks: Most teens do not become addicted to their phones and video games. But across multiple studies and across genders, rates of problematic use come out in the ballpark of 5 to 15 percent. Is there any other consumer product that parents would let their children use relatively freely if they knew that something like one in 10 kids would end up with a pattern of habitual and compulsive use that disrupted various domains of life and looked a lot like an addiction?

The Decay of Wisdom and the Loss of Meaning 

During that crucial sensitive period for cultural learning, from roughly ages 9 through 15, we should be especially thoughtful about who is socializing our children for adulthood. Instead, that’s when most kids get their first smartphone and sign themselves up (with or without parental permission) to consume rivers of content from random strangers. Much of that content is produced by other adolescents, in blocks of a few minutes or a few seconds.

This rerouting of enculturating content has created a generation that is largely cut off from older generations and, to some extent, from the accumulated wisdom of humankind, including knowledge about how to live a flourishing life. Adolescents spend less time steeped in their local or national culture. They are coming of age in a confusing, placeless, ahistorical maelstrom of 30-second stories curated by algorithms designed to mesmerize them. Without solid knowledge of the past and the filtering of good ideas from bad––a process that plays out over many generations––young people will be more prone to believe whatever terrible ideas become popular around them, which might explain why videos showing young people reacting positively to Osama bin Laden’s thoughts about America were trending on TikTok last fall.

All this is made worse by the fact that so much of digital public life is an unending supply of micro dramas about somebody somewhere in our country of 340 million people who did something that can fuel an outrage cycle, only to be pushed aside by the next. It doesn’t add up to anything and leaves behind only a distorted sense of human nature and affairs.

When our public life becomes fragmented, ephemeral, and incomprehensible, it is a recipe for anomie, or normlessness. The great French sociologist Émile Durkheim showed long ago that a society that fails to bind its people together with some shared sense of sacredness and common respect for rules and norms is not a society of great individual freedom; it is, rather, a place where disoriented individuals have difficulty setting goals and exerting themselves to achieve them. Durkheim argued that anomie was a major driver of suicide rates in European countries. Modern scholars continue to draw on his work to understand suicide rates today. 

Durkheim’s observations are crucial for understanding what happened in the early 2010s. A long-running survey of American teens found that, from 1990 to 2010, high-school seniors became slightly less likely to agree with statements such as “Life often feels meaningless.” But as soon as they adopted a phone-based life and many began to live in the whirlpool of social media, where no stability can be found, every measure of despair increased. From 2010 to 2019, the number who agreed that their lives felt “meaningless” increased by about 70 percent, to more than one in five.

6. Young People Don’t Like Their Phone-Based Lives

How can I be confident that the epidemic of adolescent mental illness was kicked off by the arrival of the phone-based childhood? Skeptics point to other events as possible culprits, including the 2008 global financial crisis, global warming, the 2012 Sandy Hook school shooting and the subsequent active-shooter drills, rising academic pressures, and the opioid epidemic. But while these events might have been contributing factors in some countries, none can explain both the timing and international scope of the disaster.

An additional source of evidence comes from Gen Z itself. With all the talk of regulating social media, raising age limits, and getting phones out of schools, you might expect to find many members of Gen Z writing and speaking out in opposition. I’ve looked for such arguments and found hardly any. In contrast, many young adults tell stories of devastation.

Freya India, a 24-year-old British essayist who writes about girls, explains how social-media sites carry girls off to unhealthy places: “It seems like your child is simply watching some makeup tutorials, following some mental health influencers, or experimenting with their identity. But let me tell you: they are on a conveyor belt to someplace bad. Whatever insecurity or vulnerability they are struggling with, they will be pushed further and further into it.” She continues:

Gen Z were the guinea pigs in this uncontrolled global social experiment. We were the first to have our vulnerabilities and insecurities fed into a machine that magnified and refracted them back at us, all the time, before we had any sense of who we were. We didn’t just grow up with algorithms. They raised us. They rearranged our faces. Shaped our identities. Convinced us we were sick.

Rikki Schlott, a 23-year-old American journalist and co-author of The Canceling of the American Mind, writes,

"The day-to-day life of a typical teen or tween today would be unrecognizable to someone who came of age before the smartphone arrived. Zoomers are spending an average of 9 hours daily in this screen-time doom loop—desperate to forget the gaping holes they’re bleeding out of, even if just for … 9 hours a day. Uncomfortable silence could be time to ponder why they’re so miserable in the first place. Drowning it out with algorithmic white noise is far easier."

A 27-year-old man who spent his adolescent years addicted (his word) to video games and pornography sent me this reflection on what that did to him:

I missed out on a lot of stuff in life—a lot of socialization. I feel the effects now: meeting new people, talking to people. I feel that my interactions are not as smooth and fluid as I want. My knowledge of the world (geography, politics, etc.) is lacking. I didn’t spend time having conversations or learning about sports. I often feel like a hollow operating system.

Or consider what Facebook found in a research project involving focus groups of young people, revealed in 2021 by the whistleblower Frances Haugen: “Teens blame Instagram for increases in the rates of anxiety and depression among teens,” an internal document said. “This reaction was unprompted and consistent across all groups.”

7. Collective-Action Problems

Social-media companies such as Meta, TikTok, and Snap are often compared to tobacco companies, but that’s not really fair to the tobacco industry. It’s true that companies in both industries marketed harmful products to children and tweaked their products for maximum customer retention (that is, addiction), but there’s a big difference: Teens could and did choose, in large numbers, not to smoke. Even at the peak of teen cigarette use, in 1997, nearly two-thirds of high-school students did not smoke.

Social media, in contrast, applies a lot more pressure on nonusers, at a much younger age and in a more insidious way. Once a few students in any middle school lie about their age and open accounts at age 11 or 12, they start posting photos and comments about themselves and other students. Drama ensues. The pressure on everyone else to join becomes intense. Even a girl who knows, consciously, that Instagram can foster beauty obsession, anxiety, and eating disorders might sooner take those risks than accept the seeming certainty of being out of the loop, clueless, and excluded. And indeed, if she resists while most of her classmates do not, she might, in fact, be marginalized, which puts her at risk for anxiety and depression, though via a different pathway than the one taken by those who use social media heavily. In this way, social media accomplishes a remarkable feat: It even harms adolescents who do not use it.

A recent study led by the University of Chicago economist Leonardo Bursztyn captured the dynamics of the social-media trap precisely. The researchers recruited more than 1,000 college students and asked them how much they’d need to be paid to deactivate their accounts on either Instagram or TikTok for four weeks. That’s a standard economist’s question to try to compute the net value of a product to society. On average, students said they’d need to be paid roughly $50 ($59 for TikTok, $47 for Instagram) to deactivate whichever platform they were asked about. Then the experimenters told the students that they were going to try to get most of the others in their school to deactivate that same platform, offering to pay them to do so as well, and asked, Now how much would you have to be paid to deactivate, if most others did so? The answer, on average, was less than zero. In each case, most students were willing to pay to have that happen.

Social media is all about network effects. Most students are only on it because everyone else is too. Most of them would prefer that nobody be on these platforms. Later in the study, students were asked directly, “Would you prefer to live in a world without Instagram [or TikTok]?” A majority of students said yes––58 percent for each app.

This is the textbook definition of what social scientists call a collective-action problem. It’s what happens when a group would be better off if everyone in the group took a particular action, but each actor is deterred from acting, because unless the others do the same, the personal cost outweighs the benefit. Fishermen considering limiting their catch to avoid wiping out the local fish population are caught in this same kind of trap. If no one else does it too, they just lose profit.

Cigarettes trapped individual smokers with a biological addiction. Social media has trapped an entire generation in a collective-action problem. Early app developers deliberately and knowingly exploited the psychological weaknesses and insecurities of young people to pressure them to consume a product that, upon reflection, many wish they could use less, or not at all.

8. Four Norms to Break Four Traps

Young people and their parents are stuck in at least four collective-action traps. Each is hard to escape for an individual family, but escape becomes much easier if families, schools, and communities coordinate and act together. Here are four norms that would roll back the phone-based childhood. I believe that any community that adopts all four will see substantial improvements in youth mental health within two years.

No smartphones before high school  

The trap here is that each child thinks they need a smartphone because “everyone else” has one, and many parents give in because they don’t want their child to feel excluded. But if no one else had a smartphone—or even if, say, only half of the child’s sixth-grade class had one—parents would feel more comfortable providing a basic flip phone (or no phone at all). Delaying round-the-clock internet access until ninth grade (around age 14) as a national or community norm would help to protect adolescents during the very vulnerable first few years of puberty. According to a 2022 British study, these are the years when social-media use is most correlated with poor mental health. Family policies about tablets, laptops, and video-game consoles should be aligned with smartphone restrictions to prevent overuse of other screen activities.

No social media before 16

The trap here, as with smartphones, is that each adolescent feels a strong need to open accounts on TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, and other platforms primarily because that’s where most of their peers are posting and gossiping. But if the majority of adolescents were not on these accounts until they were 16, families and adolescents could more easily resist the pressure to sign up. The delay would not mean that kids younger than 16 could never watch videos on TikTok or YouTube—only that they could not open accounts, give away their data, post their own content, and let algorithms get to know them and their preferences.

Phone‐free schools 

Most schools claim that they ban phones, but this usually just means that students aren’t supposed to take their phone out of their pocket during class. Research shows that most students do use their phones during class time. They also use them during lunchtime, free periods, and breaks between classes––times when students could and should be interacting with their classmates face-to-face. The only way to get students’ minds off their phones during the school day is to require all students to put their phones (and other devices that can send or receive texts) into a phone locker or locked pouch at the start of the day. Schools that have gone phone-free always seem to report that it has improved the culture, making students more attentive in class and more interactive with one another. Published studies back them up.

More independence, free play, and responsibility in the real world

Many parents are afraid to give their children the level of independence and responsibility they themselves enjoyed when they were young, even though rates of homicide, drunk driving, and other physical threats to children are way down in recent decades. Part of the fear comes from the fact that parents look at each other to determine what is normal and therefore safe, and they see few examples of families acting as if a 9-year-old can be trusted to walk to a store without a chaperone. But if many parents started sending their children out to play or run errands, then the norms of what is safe and accepted would change quickly. So would ideas about what constitutes “good parenting.” And if more parents trusted their children with more responsibility––for example, by asking their kids to do more to help out, or to care for others––then the pervasive sense of uselessness now found in surveys of high-school students might begin to dissipate.

It would be a mistake to overlook this fourth norm. If parents don’t replace screen time with real-world experiences involving friends and independent activity, then banning devices will feel like deprivation, not the opening up of a world of opportunities.

The main reason why the phone-based childhood is so harmful is because it pushes aside everything else. Smartphones are experience blockers. Our ultimate goal should not be to remove screens entirely, nor should it be to return childhood to exactly the way it was in 1960. Rather, it should be to create a version of childhood and adolescence that keeps young people anchored in the real world while flourishing in the digital age.

9. What Are We Waiting For?

An essential function of government is to solve collective-action problems. Congress could solve or help solve the ones I’ve highlighted—for instance, by raising the age of “internet adulthood” to 16 and requiring tech companies to keep underage children off their sites.

In recent decades, however, Congress has not been good at addressing public concerns when the solutions would displease a powerful and deep-pocketed industry. Governors and state legislators have been much more effective, and their successes might let us evaluate how well various reforms work. But the bottom line is that to change norms, we’re going to need to do most of the work ourselves, in neighborhood groups, schools, and other communities.

There are now hundreds of organizations––most of them started by mothers who saw what smartphones had done to their children––that are working to roll back the phone-based childhood or promote a more independent, real-world childhood. (I have assembled a list of many of them.) One that I co-founded, at LetGrow.org, suggests a variety of simple programs for parents or schools, such as play club (schools keep the playground open at least one day a week before or after school, and kids sign up for phone-free, mixed-age, unstructured play as a regular weekly activity) and the Let Grow Experience (a series of homework assignments in which students––with their parents’ consent––choose something to do on their own that they’ve never done before, such as walk the dog, climb a tree, walk to a store, or cook dinner).

Parents are fed up with what childhood has become. Many are tired of having daily arguments about technologies that were designed to grab hold of their children’s attention and not let go. But the phone-based childhood is not inevitable.

The four norms I have proposed cost almost nothing to implement, they cause no clear harm to anyone, and while they could be supported by new legislation, they can be instilled even without it. We can begin implementing all of them right away, this year, especially in communities with good cooperation between schools and parents. A single memo from a principal asking parents to delay smartphones and social media, in support of the school’s effort to improve mental health by going phone free, would catalyze collective action and reset the community’s norms.

We didn’t know what we were doing in the early 2010s. Now we do. It’s time to end the phone-based childhood.

This article is adapted from Jonathan Haidt’s forthcoming book, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.

[gaijinhunter]

I am writing this as a Tumblr post because I don't want to make a video, as I feel this person is just trying to engagement bait me so he can grow his channel. Looking at his videos, he has seen an increase in views for videos that have been clickbait or trying to "call out" something. I guess you gotta do what you gotta do to grow your channel, but I am not about that.

Iixxion recently made a video and for the third time already, is rambling on about how he has been annoyed that he ran into people that referred to the portable series of MH games as being developed by a different "B team" than the ones that make the non-portable game's "A team". Of course, that notion is incorrect, anyone with a brain knows that both lines of MH games are created by Division 2 in Capcom Osaka and that there is plenty of overlap between titles in terms of staff. He argues that this misconception is the cause of tribalism and animosity in the MH community and is the single most dangerous issue in terms of growing the user base. My perspective is that there is indeed a divide on people who like the portable series and those who don't (which is fine!), and released platforms also contributed to that division, but no one is writing off any mainline game (MH, MHF, MHG, MHF2, MH2, MHFU, MH3, MH3U, MHP3, MH4, MH4U, MHGen, MHGU, World, Iceborne, Rise, Sunbreak) because it was made by some separate unrelated team.

The issue is that he blames me for this apparent misconception and points to my video from 2020 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhpDnFU6lAo) where I cover the rich history of KH games and how each of the games and the portable series' games, have influenced the franchise as a whole and what features each entry introduced. He says that my video is one of the main sources of this division and that it is somehow my vague wording around the different teams on each MH title has caused horrible damage and that I am irresponsible and lazy for this. (BRUH)

Not only was my video just 4 years ago and focused on the development history and features of each title, if there was tribalism between console and portable games, that existed long before 2020. But he uses a Staw Man argument to "call me out" which is to argue against the notion of an A team and B team that are completely separate from each other, which isn't something I ever said in the first place. When i corrected him, he counters with "so you agree with me then" and that is when I realized it would be useless to discuss with him and took a look across his past videos and found a pattern of engagement farming, so I decided to just delete my comments on his videos and walk away from it.

If you want to make an argument against vague wording, it could be him saying the only consistent difference between the members that work on a "console" game versus the "portable series" games is the Director. That OFC is not true.

Some fun data looking at staff rolls.

Very natural overlap in the areas that you'd imagine with game design and programming being the main specialized fields.

Now if you want to argue semantics, then there isn't even a "monster hunter team"--it simply doesn't exist. Only Capcom developers exist and if you had to split them into distinct teams, that is Division 1 and 2.

He would likely say "see, he is supporting my argument, told you!" or "why weren't you this clear in your history video" but that is because he is making a false connection between some crap he read online, and my video and he sees me as the main cause of this "tribalism". A very disappointing conclusion he came to. My video wasn't about team compositions, it was about the franchise title history, and I pulled and used data all from official sources and interviews with the directors themselves.

I guess when you work hard across multiple years to make fun and hopefully informative videos on a franchise, the more you get targeted with bad faith arguments or engagement farming. Doesn't make it less tiring...

Stop worrying about reddit user tribalism over console/portable games, the games do have a different game design philosophy and on different consoles, so some division is to be expected, and we have so much cool news to focus on than to waste time creating drama for clicks. Be better.

-Gaijinhunter

[arsenicflame]

steddyhands modern au inspired by this post:

(1828 words, themes of kink but nothing explicit, established blackhands & gentlebeard-centric. Happy Pride!)

Stede picks up leatherworking in the wake of his divorce. He's not exactly sure how it ended up being such an important hobby for him, only that he had always admired the intricate designs on his horse's best bridles, and with little else to do with his time, he decides to give it a go.

It's rocky going at first, but he's having fun working with his hands for the first time in his life, and there's a sense of satisfaction in seeing the design come to life as he works. With practice, his skills improve, and he learns how to make things that are truly one of a kind.

He starts off posting his pieces online, as a way to reach fellow enthusiasts, but quickly finds himself with a rather large audience. Stede’s style is unique, and, after many requests from his followers, Lucius encourages him to make some more basic pieces he can sell. It's not about making money for Stede, but another way to meet new people who share his interests- as Lucius keeps telling him, it's sad that his personal assistant is the main person he talks to these days. 

So Stede sets out on a new adventure, and has quite the time designing a new range of patterns for the market. He makes purses, belts, bracelets, and, most importantly, dog collars- all still with his unique designs embossed into them, of course. He rents a booth at his towns monthly craft fair, and very quickly finds himself with a new group of friends in the other regulars- Pete, his usual neighbour, who sells an array of wooden figures he carves, Roach, who runs a stand for his bakery, and Frenchie, who isn't actually a stallholder, but is almost always busking near his friend Wee John’s stand of knitted goods, bringing life to the market even in the pouring rain. There's also Buttons, another regular at the market. Nobody is exactly sure what he does there- he doesn't sell things, or seem to buy anything either, but rain or shine, he's there with the birds.

Stede’s been doing this a few months by the time June rolls around. As he's setting up his stand, he notices that the area is much busier than it’d normally be at this time of morning. Lucius, who got roped into helping run Stede’s stall somewhere down the line (despite his protests that this is not what personal assistant means… But hey, he got a boyfriend out of it, at least), reminds him that there's the parade today, too- not realising that Stede had no clue there was a parade today, and especially not that it was pride. Stede immediately jumps to fretting about the amount of stock he’s brought, and Lucius takes the cue to escape, saying he’ll go and grab them coffee (but really, he's off to flirt with Pete)

Lucius is still missing when Ed stumbles across the little leather stall. Stede’s just ran back to his car to fetch his last boxes of inventory, and by the time he returns, Ed’s already begun to narrow down his choices. Stede greets him, starting to tell him that they're not actually open yet, but before he gets more than a couple of words out, Ed’s exclaiming “You're a Kiwi!!!”

The two of them smile at the shared recognition, and Stede says he’ll make an exception, just for Ed, and asks him what exactly he was interested in. Ed tells him that he's looking for a collar “for his boy”, and points out the particular design he was looking at. It happens to be one of Stede’s favourites from this latest run of work, a fact he mentions to Ed. It leads them into a discussion about Stede’s craft, and Ed’s Izzy, and then everything in between. Ed’s listening intently to the things Stede’s telling him, completely drawn in by the process, and by Stede himself. He watches as Stede stamps Izzy's name into the collar, and Stede even lets him have a go at one of the stamps. 

Lucius reappears sometime in the middle of this- only to immediately retreat again, seeing Stede engrossed with Ed. He sets up camp at Pete's booth opposite, watching this man flirt intensely with his boss- and Stede flirt back just as hard. Does Stede even realise he’s doing it? Lucius had known Stede was gay since before Stede even admitted it to himself, but this is on a whole other level.

The pair stand there so long that Izzy comes to look for Ed- the two of them are manning a float on the parade with their crew, and it's past time for them to get geared up. He's already worked up, frustrated to have been left to set up everything alone, when Ed had just gone to see if he could get them both coffee. So maybe he's a bit of a prick, approaching with a brash “where the fuck have you been, Edward”, to which Stede brings the same energy, giving a bitchy “Ed! Do you know this guy?” Izzy tenses, ready to snap, but then Ed cuts in, excitedly telling Stede that this is “his Izzy!” Which confuses the hell out of Stede. 

Forgetting his earlier attitude, he asks Ed if he “really named his dog after his friend”, only to be met with confusion right back from Ed at where the hell Stede got the idea he had a dog from. Stede gestures at the bag with the collar in it, to which Ed has to tell him, “oh, no, that's for him.” Ed tells Stede that they're here to run a float for their local leather society, and while Stede is certainly shocked by what Ed’s saying, he's not finding himself… uninterested. It's simply that he’s never even considered any of this before, especially not that people would use the things that he made for this, but Ed sounds so enthusiastic about it all. He tells him about how his friends would love to see Stede’s work, about how classic leather gear is always so fucking boring- but not Stede’s stuff, no, Stede’s stuff is “fresh” and “fascinating” and unlike anything Ed’s ever seen before. 

Ed's enthusiasm is incredibly infectious, so when he invites Stede to come back to see their float, he readily agrees. It’s a concept Izzy’s less than enthusiastic about. He doesn’t really want to bring this man who’s dressed like he just walked out of a HOA board meeting to their kinky little corner of the world, but he is having a lot of fun watching Stede squirm, so decides not to raise a protest. He does demand he gets his long-overdue coffee first, though (Stede pays for it- as “compensation for him distracting Ed from his job”, he says, not giving Izzy a second to process before he's tapping his card)

By the time they return to the float, Fang, Ivan & Jim are waiting for them, all already geared up. Stede is stunned silent at the sight for about 5 seconds, before he starts actually looking at the quality of Jim’s harness, and proceeds to go off about the poor quality of the craftsmanship, about how the hardware is tacky and completely the wrong choice with this leather, how his “ten year old daughter could do a better job!!!” 

There's complete silence from the group, until Izzy, of all people, bursts into laughter at Stede’s audacity (and, the fact he was staring at Jim's tits completely unabashedly, like he hadn't even noticed them in the first place). Izzy's laughter sets Ed off as he tells the group about Stede’s misunderstanding- “you didn't say he was a person!” “I mean, he's my dog”- and soon everyone's having a friendly giggle at Stede’s mistake.

It's somewhere in the middle of the retelling that Ed remembers that this whole thing happened because he was buying Izzy a gift. After a moments fumbling, he presents Izzy with the collar-  It's a rich, deep black, embossed with a rolling pattern that resembles waves. It’s made from a firm enough leather to take the tooling, and to remind Izzy that he’s owned while he’s wearing it, yet still soft enough for long term comfort. Izzy's eyes immediately lock on to it, an unreadable expression coming over his face, and Ed turns it; first so he can really see the design and Izzy’s name embossed into it, and then so he can see the small “Ed ♥” on the inside of the collar, right over his swallow tattoo. 

“I did the heart,” Ed says to him softly, intended only for Izzy’s ears. Izzy's eyes flick up to Ed’s, and he raises his chin to give Ed the room to put it on. Ed buckles the collar around his neck almost reverently, a test of the tightness turning into a caress of Izzy's neck. It's a perfect fit.

It's as though something comes over Izzy; so twitchy and abrasive earlier, now silent, staring at Ed with a look akin to worship in his eyes. He obediently tilts his head for a kiss as Ed's fingers move to his chin- It's a sight to behold, and one that has Stede intrigued. He wants to know more about this lifestyle, and these men in particular. He wants to be the one to put that expression on Izzy's face.

The moment breaks as Ed and Izzy pull apart, and Ed calls for the crew to finish the last bits of set up. Izzy shakes himself a little before running off to bark orders again, but even still, there remains a softness to him that wasn't there before. 

Ed turns back to Stede with an apologetic smile, already obvious that he has to get going. Before he can speak, however, Stede jumps in -“My business numbers on the card in the box… I'll be around all day”- Ed’s smile turns more genuine at that, promising to stop by if he gets a moment, and that he’ll send his friend's Stede’s way- “if he wants that kind of business.” Stede says that he does, actually- that he's seen a whole new world already today, and, while he was a little taken aback at first, he can feel the passion Ed and his friends have for this life. If there's one thing that's ever mattered to Stede, it's other people's enthusiasm. Maybe he doesn't completely understand yet, but he would like to try.

One year later, Stede’s back at the market on pride weekend again, far better stocked for the crowds this time around. Lucius is finally free to spend the day flirting with Fang & Pete to his heart's content, now that Stede’s roped his own boyfriends into helping him run the stall- and into modelling the merchandise. Ed loves that part, while Izzy needs a lot more convincing, but the puppy eyes Stede & Ed weaponise against him make a very good argument.

[karan-koron]

Genazo cheat sheet: Blink and you'll miss it edition

Another post where I try to list interesting details and tidbits about the movie, easter eggs, and such. I will try to follow the movie chronologically, but there might be some back-and-forth. Of course, this will include spoilers. If you're interested about Gegege no Nazo trivia and context, I wrote two more posts on the subject, here and here.

This movie is packed with little details that gives it insane rewatch value (I went to the theaters too many times...), either as references, easter eggs, or small touches that give not only historical accuracy, but also breathe more life into the characters and the world they inhabit. Let's go for another deep dive under the cut!

- Opening scene, present time

Yamada

His name and appearance evokes Salaryman Yamada, a character part of Mizuki Shigeru's star system. I won't go through all of them, but multiple characters in Genazo are part of that star system, like the section chief and the president of the blood bank, some of Osada's henchmen, etc. (here a star system refers to the use of a rotating cast of characters put into different roles through different stories but retaining key characteristics, either in design, personality, etc. Tezuka Osamu is known for this practice as well.) But specifically, Yamada reminds me of Joho-ya, "The informant", or "Hunter" (in Inka-subs), from Akuma-kun!

Ruins of Nagura village

As Kitaro's group and Yamada go through the village, you'll notice obvious items that played a part in the movie : the Sengoku-era armor, the hospital beds, Tokisada's ball form, etc. In the shot where Medama Oyaji says "The time has finally come, 70 years later...", Katsunori's car is in the foreground. Yamada stumbles upon the armor which I already mentioned, and is fairly obvious, but please notice the skull on the helmet: its left eye is worn-out! He then gets jump-scared by an Ichimatsu doll, which seems to have belonged to the little girl coughing in the train Mizuki and Gegero rode to Nagura village. Interestingly, though the patterns on the fabric are different, she shares the color of her kimono with Sayo, and both wear a bow in their hair. Finally, when Yamada points his flashlight at a window, a ghost appears for a frame or two, wearing a headdress making it looks like someone working for the Ryuga family. Which brings us to our next point... !

Hidden yokai and ghosts.

Mizuki Shigeru's daughter, Mizuki Etsuko, wrote the lyrics for Gegege no Kitaro 6th series' 3rd ending theme : "Mienkeredomo orundayo", "You can't see them, but they are here".

And indeed, if you look closely, or if you close one eye, you'll find that yokai have been present in the story way before Gegero made Mizuki notice them. Frankly, I don't know if I found them all, and what I can show you is mostly thanks to the joint effort of movie-goers who shared their findings online, but here are those I could spot and screenshot! (if you found more, Pleaaaaaase!!! Let me know!)

First, the ghost lady in the opening scene.

Mizuki casting two shadows in the blood bank office.

The tengu-like face appearing on a tree trunk as Mizuki enters Nagura village.

Kashabo, sitting on a tile as Mizuki enters Ryuga mansion grounds.

Probably Ikkenya no Yoju's paw, whom will appear again later in the movie, when Nezumi comes to give the diary to Mizuki in the storehouse.

The night after Tokimaro was appointed new family patriarch, Yuurei akago appear on the shelf in the back. (and these are actually pretty easy to spot, if you aren't so focused on Mizuki's cleavage. Yes. I know. Don't hide it.)

A soldier's helmet appearing next to Mizuki and disappearing a few frames after.

I read about more findings on social media, but it's all I collected myself for now!

Showa 31, Tokyo.

Or 1956.

Trash in the water, a cramped, shabby strict in the foreground, the blood bank, and in the background, factories releasing smoke. Far from the Tokyo that Tokiya and Sayo imagined, right?

As I mentioned in another post, the people waiting in the stairs came to sell their blood, and most of them probably do this for a living.

The celestial eye goldfish, or Choutengan, heavily bred in Japan and popular in art, are only found in captivity. They lack a dorsal fin, have limited vision, and can only be kept in aquarium on their own.

Train to Nagura Village

"...Tokisada is the man behind that success story." A script note I should have included in the previous post but I forgot, oops. Mizuki calls Tokisada "立志伝中", risshidenchu, conveying the idea that he is someone who worked harder than everyone in order to achieve great success.

Mizuki smokes "Peace" brand cigarettes. Its name was chosen with hope for the future after the war.

It seems Mizuki brought only one pack of cigarettes with him, as a pack of "Peace" contains 10 cigarettes, and he is seen smoking 10 times throughout the movie. The first time is in this scene, inside the train.

Tobacco's price in Japan has historically been exceptionally low, and at the time period Genazo takes place in a consequent percentage of people smoked - with a lack of awareness for safety, especially in closed spaces and around children, which was sadly not exclusive to Japan. Notice the girl holding the Ichimatsu doll and coughing : one of Osada's henchmen is sitting across from her, looking in her direction. Later in the movie, inside the underground factory, a smaller patient is on one of the hospital beds coughing, as a concerned patient turns to look at them. The doll is seen thrown in the trash, and of course, found again by Yamada in present time.

"Many people are following behind you." The silhouettes behind Mizuki are similar to the Japanese military uniform seen in his war flashbacks. So it's his war companions following him, and not the ghosts of enemies.

(a lot of points from the taxi drive to Mizuki's arrival in Naguramura I feel I already covered in other posts, so let's jump ahead a little bit.)

Reading Tokisada's will

Staff has cited The Inugami Family, movie adaptation of the novel The Inugami Curse as an inspiration for Gegege no Nazo. It's at the most explicit in this scene.

Tokimaro wears a sokutai outfit associated with noblemen of the Heian period. He also has teeth painted black, a practice called ohaguro, popular again between the Heian and Edo periods, mostly for cosmetic purpose ; and white makeup. Mizuki mentions how Tokimaro hasn't made public appearances in a long time due to poor health. Is the makeup for concealing his health...? In a previous post I mentioned how Toshiko, Hinoe and Otome share a motif reminiscent of the "inoshikachou" (boar, deer, butterfly) card combo in Hanafuda. Tokimaro's design is reminiscent of the Ono-no-Michikaze Hanafuda card.

Tokimaro mentions not being allowed to take a wife, surely not to dilute Tokisada's blood.

A maid places a zabuton cushion for Mizuki to sit on, just like everyone else in the room. However, during the entire scene, Mizuki keeps kneeling with his head low : Otome is already not pleased by his presence, but on top of that the maid placed the zabuton between two tatami. Tatami's edges are covered with cloth, and the fancier ones are embroidered with the family's emblem ; it would be considered rude to step and sit on it. He was also never invited to sit by any of the Ryuga, so he remains kneeling next to the zabuton.

Tokimaro's death, Gegero's arrival

"I really hate conflict, you know. How about it? Why don't we all take a bath together and relax ?" Kitaro's father's love for baths is well known as Medama Oyaji. In the Birth of Kitaro manga, he also mentions how the Ghost Tribe are peaceful people.

It's a rainy morning, and when Osada's men attempt to behead Gegero, Mizuki rushes outside shouting to stop them. He's only wearing socks in that scene, which is why he goes barefoot in the next scene when he's in the room where Gegero is locked in.

"This person has brought calamity upon the village..." In the shot where Osada says this line, he's drawn wearing a ring. I'm not sure if it's intentional or an animation mistake, but I think it's the only scene he's seen wearing it.

Night after the murder

Otome feels weak, and Osada doesn't just catch her as she falls, he tightens the embrace as if comforting her in a hug. In the following scene, it seems Hinoe got money from Otome, who is drinking red wine.

In the jail cell room, Mizuki is eating a classic meal of white rice, grilled fish, miso soup, and takuan (yellow pickled daikon radish). Gegero is eating a much lighter meal of brown rice and takuan sliced so thin it's see-through... In the previous scene where Osada, Otome and Hinoe are talking, Osada mentions that the room with the jail cell is in his quarters, which is why Tokiya was able to come in. Mizuki was also given a different yukata than when he was sleeping in the annex room of the Ryuga.

Gegero tells Mizuki that "Some people are not worth engaging in conversation." Indeed, he tried to warn Mizuki in the train that hell was awaiting him, but he didn't listen and came to Nagura Village anyways...

Asking Katsunori to let Gegero out

On the way, Mizuki passes by an old lady wearing a headdress and rubber gloves.

She's probably coming from or going to the underground factory where M is produced, and is also likely the ghost Yamada caught in his flashlight at the very beginning of the movie.

Hinoe is seen drinking alcohol as she peeks at Sayo and Mizuki from the window. In the room is a man in a futon, and a suitcase full of jewellery. The day before, in the scene where Otome, Osada and Hinoe were together, Hinoe was counting money she probably got from Otome, promising she wouldn't waste any of it. It seems she spent it in jewellery from the man in the futon, who is probably an outsider.

Hinoe is watching the scene from this balcony, and you can see two sets of tire tracks : the ones going straight is from Katsunori's car who just passed by. So the ones turning are probably from Hinoe's visitor, the jewellery seller, coming from outside the village. Had Mizuki paid a little bit more attention, he would have realized that Otome lied about the landslide at this point...!

In a previous post I talked about Tokimaro and Katsunori's placement in the succession scene, Katsunori sitting in front of a dragon, placed inside its maw.

This time, behind him are displays of his vanity : a replica of the "King" (osho) shogi piece, and peacock feathers matching the color of his cravat. He's drinking Grand Old Parr Scotch whiskey, contrasting with Otome drinking red wine a few scenes earlier.

First time on the forbidden island

In front of the well, "呪" (kashiri) "Curse" is written on the torii gate.

(lots of important things happening that I already covered in older posts, so let's flash forward again)

Back at Osada's house jail cell

Gegero is eating zaru soba. They are cold buckwheat noodles that you dip in tsuyu sauce before slurping. It's a great dish to have during the hot Japanese summer! There are two ozen (low dining table/trays) in front of him, one with the soba, and the other with an empty spoon and bowl. It seems that this time, Mizuki shared his dinner with Gegero.

Discussing next plans

"And as long as [the Kyokotsu] doesn't have a vessel in the village." Here, Gegero specifically uses the word yorishiro which I chose to replace with "vessel", but yorishiro is a word specific to shintoism. It refers to an item or body that can attract and host a kami (deity). You may have seen before shimenawa ropes tied around rocks or trees - they signify that a kami resides inside, making those yorishiro. It's possible that at this point in the story, Gegero might have already figured out Sayo.

After finishing his popsicle, Mizuki flips the stick and looks at it, then seems a little bit disappointed. Some popsicles have written on their stick either hazure (lose) or atari (win), on the end which is visible only after finishing the popsicle - had Mizuki gotten a win, he could have had another popsicle for free! Aww...

Sayo and Mizuki on the balcony

Sayo wears a fashionable, western dress. She may have gotten it from outside the village, possibly from Katsunori. From this point, she starts calling Mizuki "Mizuki-san" instead of "Mizuki-sama", closing the gap between them.

Moonlit talk in the graveyard

Throughout the movie, you can see many electric poles, but in this night scene, no lights are on at night except from Tsurubebi :

It's possible that most of the electricity is used in the underground factory.

"I saw it in the south..." When Mizuki mentions the south, he means Rabaul, New Guinea.

After lighting his cigarette with Tsurubebi, Mizuki notices he took his last one (the tenth) and crumple the empty cigarette pack in his pocket. It's why he shares it with Gegero instead of giving him a new one ; an interesting twist of fate right when Mizuki asks himself if he will have his own fateful encounter one day.

Gegero and his wife enjoyed "cream soda", which I left as is in the subs, but I realize that these are actually called soda floats in English, oops. Melon soda floats are heavily associated with the Showa era ; go to any vintage store, museum gift shop, etc and you'll find amongst retro goods something melon cream soda themed. (Pancakes and "pudding a la mode" are desserts with a similar iconic retro vibe) Cherries are also a known favourite of Medama Oyaji!

Their date spot is in Asakusa, Tokyo. You can see Sumida river in the background, with what I wrongly assumed to be Ryogoku bridge at first, but is actually Kototoi bridge. Starting from there you can find the exact spot : The rooftop amusement park "Sportsland", opened in 1931 in the Matsuya mall building. The mall remains nowadays, but not the park, sadly.

Picture source

flash forward to...

After Gegero's capture

In front of the shrine, when Otome reveals the role of women within the Ryuga family, Osada's shoulders slump, pained by the thought.

Inside the underground factory, you can see the same headdress and rubber gloves wearing old lady, grinning while at work.

As I stated earlier, we meet the coughing little girl from the train again here.

Sayo asks Mizuki, "Are you going to help that person from the Ghost tribe?" even though she has never met Gegero on screen - Either she was spying on Mizuki and Gegero, or she figured it out after reading Tokimaro's diary. "If I run away now, this guy will laugh at me." Mizuki says. Indeed, Gegero accepted to work with Mizuki on one condition : "Whatever you see, do not run away."

Bloodbath

Sayo's Kyokotsu releases more smaller Kyokotsu from its rounded stomach, as if giving birth.

During the bloodbath, one of the Urakido is not killed by Kyokotsu, but by one of his fellow man who accidentally slashed his throat while swinging his sword.

When Otome calls Osada for help, he shouts the usual okusan, "Madam!", followed by her name, "Otome!" in despair.

The anger Sayo feels for Mizuki is different than the grudge she bears towards the Ryuga and the villagers ; she chooses to strangle him with her own hands rather than through Kyokotsu. When Gegero said that he felt pity for Mizuki, Mizuki similarly went for Gegero's throat.

The bottom of the well

"By now, [Tokiya] must be bullied in hell in my place." "今頃 余に代わって 地獄で 獄卒どもに いじめられとるだろう" ima goro yo ni kawatte, jigoku de gokusotsudomo ni ijimeraretoru daro Literally, "by now, he must be bullied by the Gokusotsu in hell in my place." Gokusotsu are the guardians of Hell - they are seen in Gegege no Kitaro anime, working for Enma Daio. It's wrong of me to have omitted them in the subs, but I didn't know how to phrase it with proper length and timing. I'm sorry.

Mizuki climbing the stairs dragging the axe behind him mirrors Gegero's arrival in Nagura Village - the sound of the axe hitting the ground replacing the karan koron of Gegero's geta sandals.

Gegero places the chanchanko for protection on Mizuki's shoulders, but later Mizuki put it on Gegero's wife instead - Mizuki didn't hear Gegero says his "my friend, the future in which you live is something I wanted to see with my own eyes" line after all. At this point, Mizuki has nothing left to lose or look for himself, as highlighted in the shot where Gegero and his wife reunite, and Mizuki is lying as if dead on the foreground while Tokisada speaks of the bright future of Japan. He is ready to pay the price for his actions, even if it costs him his life.

When Gegero removes the seal on the pile of skulls, it's lodged in a skull's left eye socket.

Present time

Yamada promises that whatever happened in this village, he will "definitely write it down and pass it on." His article was printed in the pamphlet sold at the time of the movie's theatrical run.

Ok... phew! I think that's enough for now. If you've read this far...congratulations!! Unfortunately I may still have things to say in the future, but that post is way too long already. Thank you for reading! I hope this helped you notice a few things. Enjoy the movie!

[generalluxun]

So as to not step on toes I make my own post. Of course this means the folks who I might wish to engage in dialog with won't see this. We're just two people talking at opposite sides of a public square.

Social media etiquette is counterproductive.

Miraculous Ladybug is a show with lots of characters, characters we love. Characters with displayed wants and needs, who get put in situations that emotionally resonate. We latch onto these characters. We pick them up and draw them or write for them. We flesh them out. We connect the dots we are given, wether we are meant to or not. We are human, humans find patterns in chaos. We are human, humans often seek to make emotional connections with things. The online sci-fi tale of 'knifey and stabby' is spot on, if you know it.

This is a good thing and says a lot about us as people. I think the combination of this impulse with the ML characters has created amazing things.

ML is *not* a character driven show. The creator has said as much. The show bible says as much. The creator says it's his job to draw things out. If a character would make a choice that would resolve a plot too soon, they simply won't. It is written that Marinette *must* make a mistake every episode. It's written that Adrien will never find out his father was Hawkmoth. If it's a choice between catharsis and drama the choice will be drama, because as the creator has stated 'It is his job to give us what we need, not what we want.' That is, what we need to keep us coming back.

Miraculous is also a children's show. 'The moral of the episode' is a long standing tradition in children's shows and one ML honors for the most part. It keeps the funding coming in.

None of these things make ML bad, they're just how it works. They are what motivate choices in the narrative. Understanding this is the way to avoid a lot of character salt. Is a character acting strange and seemingly out of character? It's because they have to be for that episode to work. Is there a complete lack of communication between two people who should communicate regularly? That's because if they communicated the problems would be resolved. The writing room has decided the problems can't be resolved as long as more seasons are in the offing.

Now, nothing will be completely static. Eventually some problems are resolved, eventually new things must come up. If it feels like pulling teeth though, that is by design. It's not Marinette's fault she doesn't tell anyone. She's not *allowed* to make the right choice. Don't salt her for it.

It is possible to assemble a coherent narrative, if you cut and sew, to explain her actions even. However in doing so, you have to ignore some things in the narrative too. That's okay! You're allowed! Again- the ability to do that and produce copious amazing art and narrative is something that makes the ML fandom amazing. Just- know what you are doing. Know that the narrative comes from you and your connection to these characters. Make those connections! But, don't confuse a narrative you can divine character in from a character *driven* narrative.

It will be easier to set expectations from future installments.

[wingedfoolnearthesun]

a few ways I have been honoring Father Thanatos ♡

i was inspired by the lovely @namelessghost04 ‘s post and decided to try writing one in honor of Father Thanatos ♡

note: of course this does not apply to everyone and does not mean that every person who worships Thanatos should do/have done the same things. everyone’s experience is unique and special, make sure to embrace that ^^

drinking a lovely and relaxing tea every evening. i like to change the type of tea every night to make it even more special: sometimes black current, strawberry, raspberry, cardamom, early grey, or black thyme. it’s a lovely way of embracing your time with Him by inviting Him to join you.

my bed sheets currently have a butterfly pattern scattered across a beautiful dark blue background. it feels like an homage to both Lord Hypnos and Father Thanatos. i view this to be extremely fitting as i constantly feel Father Thanatos’ presence by my side during the day (and i spend most of my time in bed because that’s literally where i do all of my work and leisure), and i feel embraced by Lord Hypnos during the night.

i’ve designed the home screen of my iPad and to dedicated it to both Lord Hypnos and Father Thanatos. it always make it even more exciting when i have to turn on my iPad to study, research, or write. there’s a little picture and quote for each of Them as widgets :3

i’ve been allowing myself to take more risks in my life. even if they’re the smallest of things that most people might regard as silly. i’ve been allowing myself to talk to more people online without the worry of being judged by them as often. i’ve been a tad bit more lenient on myself when it comes to my studies (though i can definitely work to improve on that a lot more, since that’s my biggest anxiety currently and something i want to change).

engaging in media that brings me a sense of comfort. i’ve been watching a lot of childhood movies, playing a lot of childhood video games, and talking to friends and family about both those things. it helps me feel much more grounded in my current reality and offers a brief respite from the worries and thoughts that always flood my mind.

touching on the previous topic, dedicating more time to rest and devoting that as an act and offering to Father Thanatos. i’m the type of person to always think that if i’m not being productive, then i have absolutely no worth. it’s been lovely to take things a bit slower. to realize that you don’t always need to function at a 100% to give yourself any value. it’s something i want to work on even more by the day.

allowing myself to feel my emotions. i’ve been someone who’s always repressed their emotions since a very young age. that would lead to me lashing out on others who don’t deserve it. i’ve been allowing myself a brief window (30 minutes to even an hour, the length of that window doesn’t always matter) to sit by myself and simmer in those feelings and thoughts. this prevents me from taking out negative emotions on people who don’t deserve it, and i’ve been trying my best to communicate that to avoid any misunderstandings.

now, this is still something that i need to work on, because despite believing that i have done enough to move on from the people who hurt me, i still tend to think about them when i really shouldn’t. i would definitely like to honor Father Thanatos — as one of the main reasons He works with me now is to overcome the attachment to these people — by severing the mental connection to people who no longer exist in my life. honoring Him by allowing myself to mourn these people, mourn the person i once was, and mourn the person I could have become if i had just been a bit stronger.

most of these acts are more subtle and even psychological in nature. it’s mainly because of my current situation of not being able to be so open about my faith, my preference for more subtle devotional acts, and my mental capacities in my present moment. this is just to prove to everyone, especially newer hellenic polytheists, that you don’t always need to be extravagant or grand in your gestures towards the gods. you don’t need to spend absurd amounts of money if you are incapable of doing so. make sure to practice and devote within limits that you are comfortable in and capable of maintaining ♡

[the-indigo-symphony]

A Proposal for a Plural Symbol, of Sorts

A while ago, there was a discussion on plural rings (as in, specific jewelry to inform others that you're plural), but I don't think it's caught on much. I think part of the problem may be that it can be difficult to buy or make multicolored rings, as was the suggested symbol (although, for the record, I'm not saying it should just be abandoned if there are those who like and use it as a symbol, just that it's not a very accessible option for a fair amount of people). Therefore, I have thought it over, and I have a new idea for a way to subtly alert others to your plurality:

Make a pattern of colored beads – yellow, pink, blue, green – on a string. You can use just those four, or a multiple of those four, but you should have the same number of each colored bead in that repeating pattern; don't end on yellow, pink, or blue, just green. Then, use that string (with the beads still on it, of course) to make homemade jewelry, such as a bracelet or necklace. Alternatively, ask or commission someone (whether online or IRL) to make it for you.

Why these colors? They're the colors of Emmengard's Plural Rings in clockwise order! A subtle nod to a well-known plural symbol.

Why the simple design? This way, people can either DIY their plural merch or get it cheaply, without spending lots of time, money, or energy getting it.

They're also customizable to a small extent. If you choose to keep the number of beads low, then at the ends you could add symbols to represent your system, or other general plural symbols, with bracelet charms. It would be a great way to add a little personal touch to a community symbol.

After giving this some thought, I'd like to give it a try. Even if it doesn't catch on, it will be a plural symbol that I know the significance of, and that's good enough for me.

[the-universal-sun]

How do Little Ford and Stan handle bathtime? Do they have a favorite type of bath toy? I can personally see Little Stan loving plastic dinosaur figurines, and maybe Ford having one of those Crayola chemistry bath sets! I can also see them having their own towel with a hoodie!

I did briefly write something small about Stan and bathtime a couple of months ago, and this gave me the opportunity to expand on that! Thank you so much for your ask! And sorry it took so long to get to it, I hope you're still here.

I hope you like the head canons I created, that your vision was met. Please let me know!

I'm always open to helpful advice or to just chat!

Happy Holidays if you're the celebrating type!

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-Little Stan loves bathtime! You wouldn't think it, he hated bathing as a kid, but now that he gets unlimited bath time? With actual hot water? Ford has a hard time getting him out of the bath

-Stan likes his baths scalding hot. It soothes the aches of his joints and old scars and he gets cold easily and will shiver when the water goes lukewarm, so scalding hot water will make it so baths last longer and are all around more pleasant for both Stan and Ford

-Ford has to convince Stan that Poindexter will be safe sitting and keeping watch on the sink, that he can't be in the water with Stan because the he could get sick. The thought of his friend getting sick is what does it for Stan (though somewhere in his grown up mind, he knows it's because Poindexter is an old plush, so no matter how well maintained he is, he shouldn't be getting wet), compromising and letting him keep watch from the toilet, where he can see Stan better

-He has so many rubber duckies, and they're the kind with cool and novelty designs. Pirates, whales, mermaids, some that are just straight up fish shaped instead of patterned like a costume. He plays make believe with them while Ford's washes his hair, just making sound effects to their adventures

-I like your thought on dinosaur toys. Ford got him specific dinosaurs sets, one for bath time and the other for daily play. The daily play is just an assortment of all different kids of dinos from different periods; land, sea, air, bugs, just so many types of dinosaurs. His bathtime set is only marine dinosaurs; some are bought from online and some Ford made himself, those being the more obscure species that he's studied

-I mentioned this before, but Stan has a toy boat with a rudder that will paddle through the water when wound up. He deemed it the "S.S. Stan" and named Ford as his first mate. He loves splashing it through the water and getting Ford's sleeves wet, sometimes spraying him with the little cannon on the ship, giggling and looking away when Ford gives him that look

-The first time he accidentally splashed Ford, early on in Ford caring for him, he got upset and started apologizing with little murmured "sorry's", hoping he didn't upset Ford or ruin his sweater. Ford, of course, wasn't mad at all, and stuck his sweater clad arms all the way down in the water to prove so, showing Stan that it's okay to have fun and splash in the bath

-Ford learned very quickly that he shouldn't wear sweaters during his brother's bath time

-Stan has some of those crayons that can color on bath tub walls and come off easily with water. He'll draw his boat and his dinosaurs and the dinosaurs attacking his boat. He splashes at Ford to get him to see his pretty pictures on the wall

-The only way Ford can get Stan out of the bath is to let the water go cold so he doesn't want to stay in. When that happens, Ford is quick to wrap Stan in his special towel, drying him off before slipping the hood, adorned with lamb ears, over his head and drying off his hair. Ford ignores Stan's pouting about the lamb ears, he's just too cute!

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-As a kid, Ford used to love bathtime, it was his time away from the world around him. As an old man with the last 30 years having to go without being clean for weeks and taking short only 5-10 minute scrub downs? Stan has to basically bribe him to bathe when he's little

-Stan gets Ford multitudes of bath chemistry sets, from bathbombs to a water lab that isn't necessarily for the bath, but will work anyways. Anything so Stan can wash his stinky brother

-Like Stan, Ford has to have scalding hot water, it helps soothe the aches of his old body and helps him remember that he's home and with his Buddy, not in some scary dimension all alone. He's safe and warm and he's with his brother

-Ford will leave Dr. Mittens outside the door, terrified of getting his handmade plushy wet and having it fall apart. Stan has to reassure him throughout bathtime that Dr. Mittens is dry and okay and right outside the door, which is cracked open so the plush toy can peak inside

-Beyond all the science kits Ford has for bath time, he also has some aquatic animal replicas and he'll reenact the animals hunting rituals with them, pretend to hunt them himself, and tell Stan every detail he knows about each one. In that order. Every bathtime. And Stan is more than happy to sit there and listen to Ford talk, not only is he genuinely interested in hearing his thoughts, but it also distracts Ford enough for Stan to get him clean

-Unlike Stan, Ford will let him know he's finished bathing simply by stopping what he's doing and saying "I'm done now" and attempting to stand and get up

-Sometimes, Ford will most decidedly not be done, shampoo still in his hair. So when that happens, Stan will have to get Ford talking about something, the chemicals in his soap, the anatomical structure of Beluga Whale, anything so he can finish bathing Ford

-Ford has a towel with cat hears on the hood, matching Dr. Mittens, that he'll only wear after he's completely dried off. He wants to match with Dr. Mittens, but he can't get him wet, so Ford'll wear the hooded towel after Stan towel dries him and his hair, so he just sits in that hooded towel and relaxes after his bath

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Bathe these stinky boys