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kaktus-tajam · 10 months ago

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Cara Terbaik Membalas Jasa Guru

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh dr. Detty.. apa kabar dok? semoga dalam keadaan sehat dokter & keluarga🙏🏻

Terima kasih banyak inspirasi dokter selama ini, terutama percakapan dengan dokter di Melbourne saat 2019. Mungkin dokter lupa namun bagi saya sangat berkesan, sebagai murid yang saat itu sedang exchange namun berkesempatan berdialog bahkan jalan-jalan dengan dokter Detty.. belajar banyaak hal saat itu.

Saya hendak memberi kabar baik dokter, insyaAllah saya akan melanjutkan studi S2. Alhamdulillah saat ini sudah diterima di Harvard Medical School dengan beasiswa LPDP. Mohon doa restu dan nasehat dokter..

Setelah beberapa hari lalu mendapat letter of acceptance dari Harvard, aku mengabari beberapa guru dan dosen. Salah satu dosenku yang kuhubungi adalah dr. Detty Siti Nurdiati, MPH, PhD, SpOG(K).

Beberapa jam kemudian, ada pesan masuk.

Ternyata beliau sedang berada di tanah para Nabi, bumi yang diberkahi Allah. Tanah Syams: Palestina.

“MasyaAllah Tabarakallah. Saya merinding membacanya. Doa terbaik saya untuk dr. Habibah dari tanah para nabi yg diberkahi Allah, Palestina”

Beliau kemudian menambahkan:

Aku yang jadi merinding.

Kilas balik ke 2019 ketika dirizqikan berjumpa beliau di Melbourne tanpa sengaja. Allah memang pembuat skenario terbaik. Saat jauh di negeri seberang justru bisa bertemu secara eksklusif, karena di kampus kami terpisah oleh kesibukan. Hanya dapat mengagumi Director of Cochrane Indonesia ini di kelas, saat lecture-lecture beliau.

"Dulu saya bela-belain menjadi asisten dosen untuk 3 departemen, demi menghidupi diri saat kuliah."

Sore itu, sambil menysuri St. Hilda Beach diiringi angin kencang, Allah mengajarkanku tentang kegigihan.

Kegigihan dr. Detty meniti pendidikan. Dengan latar belakang keluarga beliau yang kurang mampu, dokter Obgyn ini harus berjuang dengan beasiswa sejak bangku sekolah.. hingga S3.

Jadi asdos satu departemen aja berat, ini tiga. Batinku.

Setelah lulus menjadi dokter, beliau mendapat beasiswa dari Dikti untuk studi S2 di Swedia. Maka setelah menyelesaikan program wajib kerja 5 tahun sebagai obsgyn, beliau berangkat. Ternyata, setelah lulus.. beliau ditawarkan melanjutkan S3 oleh pemerintah Swedia.

Wah semangat sekali ya beliau sekolah terus.. MasyaAllah..

Awalnya beliau enggan karena harus meninggalkan anak-anak di Indonesia untuk periode waktu yang panjang. Namun berbekal ridha suami, beliau akhirnya mengambil tawaran tersebut.

Suami saya justru yang memotivasi saya. Kata suami saya: kesempatan tidak datang dua kali.

Alhamdulillah selama perkuliahan beliau diizinkan untuk pulang ke Indonesia dan menemui keluarga. Tidak hanya sekali, dua kali: 4x! dan itu semua dibiayai.

Beliau tersenyum sambil berkata,

Mungkin jarang yaa saat itu, ada seorang wanita, berjilbab pula, yang mau sekolah jauh-jauh (di tempat yang musim dinginnya -44 derajat Celsius).

Maka saya disekolahkan, tanpa harus ada tanggung jawab moral dan syarat mengabdi ke pemerintahan Swedia. Alhamdulillah.

Ternyata dengan niat yang baik, Allah mudahkan beliau mengikuti banyak courses di kota lain di Eropa (Geneva, London, dll.) secara cuma-cuma, selama studi S3 tersebut.

Kami terus mengobrol bahkan ketika di atas tram (kereta listrik di Melbourne). Aku sungkan dan canggung. Maklum, ini kali pertama aku belajar networking. Hehe. Apalagi dengan prestasi dr. Detty yang luar biasa. Minder sekali.

Namun.. beliau adalah dokter yang keibuan, rendah hati dan bersahaja. Terbukti dari hangatnya beliau menyimak cerita-cerita recehku tentang exchange hehe..

Wah, alhamdulillah ya dek masih muda sudah bisa dapat banyak pengalaman di luar negeri. Saya jadi ingat, pertama kali saya berangkat ke luar negeri. Saat itu saya kuliah semester 3. Saya diminta mewakili Indonesia untuk konferensi di Bangkok. Saat berangkat di bandara Adisucipto, saya diiringi seakan saya hendak berangkat haji.

dr. Detty tertawa mengenang ramainya keluarga dan dosen (dosen-dosen legendarisnya FK UGM) yang melepas kepergian beliau saat itu ke bandara. Memang di era tersebut, masih sedikit sekali orang Indonesia yang dapat berangkat ke luar negeri. Apalagi dengan ekonomi keluarganya saat itu.

Pertemuan itu membekas sekali. Aku terharu, juga tertampar. Ya Allah, banyak hal yang perlu kusyukuri. Banyak privilege yang Allah berikan padaku. Hari itu aku membatin, ingin mensyukuri nikmat ini dengan terus menuntut ilmu. Dengan terus mencari ladang amal yang bermanfaat untuk ummat. Hari itu terbersit di hati (dari Allah): semoga bisa bersekolah lagi, jika memang studi tinggi dapat meluaskan kebermanfaatan diriku.

Beliau satu dari sekian banyak guru-guru yang berjasa dalam hidupku.

Seorang kakak dulu mengingatkanku: jasa guru dan dosen tidak akan dapat terbayar,

Maka cara terbaik membalas jasanya adalah dengan mengamalkan ilmu yang diberikannya. Cara terbaik membalas jasanya adalah dengan mendoakannya. Doa agar Allah melipatgandakan kebaikan untuknya dan keluarganya.

Maka jika sekarang aku berdiri di titik ini, tidak lain dan bukan adalah akumulasi dari jasa banyak sekali manusia. Hanya Allah-lah yang dapat membalas kebaikan mereka, keikhlasan mereka.

Selamat terus bertumbuh, merely standing on the shoulders of giants.

-h.a.

Saya tidak pintar, namun saya dibiasakan dan dimudahkan mengamalkan satu amalan ketika saya belajar. Dari kecil, saya selalu belajar dalam keadaan berwudhu.

-dr. Detty Siti Nurdiati, MPH, PhD, SpOG(K)

Mohon doa untuk guru-guru kami..

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mj-102009 · 10 months ago

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Unnecessary Backup (Midoriya Izuku x oc)

Rose

I tore along the rooftops in glee, my lungs took in as much air as possible to keep me up. It was nearing the witching hour, in the slums of Japan that meant trouble was close and as far as I was aware, I was the only one with the balls to come down here, only one willing to get her hands dirty.

Stopping on my usual spot, I sat on a ledge and sighed, readjusting my mask. Below me, very few cars would go by and even fewer people, most of which were doing their best to walk. I helped around when I could, donated to fundraisers, made food to give out, and brought kids who needed medical attention to the hospital, but it was never enough. I’ve received thousands of emails from Aizawa telling me about a missing persons case, an assault, or just a family in need of help. Of course I try my best but there are thousands and I’m just one person.

Mr. Grumpy: South tunnel, four men, I’ve sent someone down there but just be on watch if possible

Me: Copy that

The south tunnel was only a block away, I made quick time in racing down there and hiding in the cover of the shadows.

“Listen kids, we’re not here to hurt you, just give us the bag and we can all go home,” A soft gravelly voice whispered, followed by some low chuckles.

I peaked around the corner, a boy, maybe 13, was only inches away from several men with his back turned, in his arms was a girl with shaking shoulders. From his posture and the way he clung to her, I knew he was scared. My eyes darkened when I saw the confirming glare of a knife, this could get messy.

Wait for Aizawa’s backup or step in?

Screw it-

I’d just made the decision to walk into the fight when a bright flash of green blocked me, I stumbled back and quickly balanced myself with a swear.

“WHO THE FU-”

“ITS DEK-”

I heard a series of grunts, my eyes widened and I looked in the tunnel. A tall man, about 5 '9, maybe 5' 10, with dark green hair and a green hero suit, I recognised him instantly.

Fucking Aizawa, this bitch gonna compromise my whole mission.

“Hey there kiddos!” He chirped, bouncing over to the kids and kneeling down. “Anyone hurt?”

The boy rapidly shook his head, staring at the hero with stars in his eyes, the girl had the same look but with a smile. I exhaled and began to pull out my phone to message Aizawa.

“Aye dare’ Mista’ ‘ero man.” (pronounced exactly as written)

I frowned deeply at the voice, just about to turn and look again.

“Stay back-” He was cut off with a gasp of pain as a knife found home in his abdomen.

My turn.

I whipped around the corner with a grin, my eyes darted around the scene, the kids were backed up behind Deku, he was trying to stay up and keep them safe. Idiot. The man was standing with a grim look as the blood ran down his blade.

“Numba’ one ‘ero and ya can’t keep…” He trailed off as he noticed my swiftly approaching figure. “Who the fuck-”

I pulled back my fist and let it sail with a faint whistle in the air, he flew back a good five feet coiling up into a ball, nose most likely broken. The children shrieked in fear, the hero did his best to drop into a fighting stance.

“Who are you?” He croaked.

I smiled. “Question of the day isn’t it?”

He tripped on himself in an attempt to attack me, yet I ended up having to catch him gently with a chuckle, his eyes slowly fluttering closed. “Rest Hero, I mean you no harm.”

The children watched me curiously as I laid him down gently, not threatened but simply watching me. I surveyed the area then took down my hood revealing a soft smile and warm gray eyes. “Hello.”

The boy’s breath hitched. “You’re Her,” he whispered awestruck.

I chuckled and held a finger to my lips. “Careful,” I stood up. “C’mon, we gotta get you and broccoli over here safe.”

Aizawa came quickly, dressed in his usual attire, he took in the sight with a sigh. I had a strip of cloth tied firmly against the hero’s wound effectively keeping him stable, the children wrapped under my cloak, I grinned at him under my mask.

“Hiya.”

He lightly hit me on the back of the head for that. “We need to get him-”

“No,” I hummed lightly. “You need to get those two to a safe place, I’ll handle the hero.”

I saw the hesitation on his face. “I trust you Rose, but we’re talking about our best hero, this could bring up some speculation.”

“Then I’ll lay low until it dies down, but right now I’m far more concerned with getting this stitched,” I gestured to his wound. “Trust that I won’t hurt him.”

After brief consideration, he turned to the kids and began ushering them out of the tunnel. I nodded to him once and turned to the hero with a sigh.

“Well, just you and me for the moment.”

My car would make it fairly easy to move him, the hard part was staying out of sight. I had no time to exhale once we entered my apartment, quickly setting (dragging) him on my table and rushing to get my med kit.

I’d used my cloak to keep the blood down, I’d had it made for situations like this, and for the time being it was helping but that rather deep cut would be troublesome if not treated.

Quickly and skillfully, I disinfected everything necessary and pulled back my hair. The wound was about two inches long and deep enough to keep an oozing blood flow. I moved the cloth and quickly applied pressure to the wound. The hero subconsciously bucked his hips under my hold. I moved to push him down, whispering apologies as I lightly straddled his hips. I moved fast, holding the gash closed and snatching up the prepared needle.

“Don’t activate your quirk, please… Mr. Pro-hero?” I whispered not looking up.

The needle gently slid into his skin, no green sparks, I took that as an okay to continue. I finished the stitches with a tie, slowly getting off him and moving to get antiseptic.

Mr. Grumpy: All good?

Me: He’s alive

Me: Hospital?

Mr. Grumpy: Not now, your cover

could get blown

Me: Copy that

Deku

I’m on a couch.

That was my first thought waking up, my next one was concern for those children I’d rescued.

Wait.

I remember a figure in black, they stopped that man from hurting me further than he had. My hands were on my abdomen before I could fully register that I’d been stabbed.

Goddamnit, Kacchan’s gonna kill me.

A well wrapped white bandage was around my waist, upon closer inspection I realized someone had stitched me up.

I took this time to study my surroundings. It was a beautiful studio apartment, all organized and tidy, even the colors match, mostly gray and black but in picture frames and books there was a splash of color.

Who brought me here?

“Water?”

I jumped at the voice, nearly activating All for One, gazing at me confused, was a girl. She was rather short with long brown hair tied back into a braid, the first thing I noticed however was her mask. It was a simple black cloth, tied behind her head only covering her mouth, yet I could see her non-threatening, almost welcoming expression in her eyes.

“Um…” I continued to stare.

“Sorry,” She said, blinking innocently. “Does the cut hurt? I have painkillers if it does.”

I blinked at her then nodded slowly. “Yes, please, that would be great.”

She walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a pill bottle, then walked over to him with a glass of water. Then sat on an armchair across from me. “Number One hero should be more careful down in the slums.”

“Well usually I know what I’m dealing with,” Something about this girl's alluring demeanor made me want to tell her everything.

“Aizawa didn’t tell you?” She hummed casually.

I paused and looked at her again. “Sorry, who are you?”

She tilted her head at him. “Oh! Forgot to introduce myself, I’m Rosemary.”

The name fit her well. “How do you know Aizawa?”

“We work together,” Rosemary told me. “He tells me where to go and I help the people there.”

My eyes widened. “You’re the girl everyone reports to be saving people in the slums.”

She nodded. “That would be me.”

I struggled to sit up. “You could be a hero! Why are you down here when you could be-”

“No thank you,” Rosemary hummed. “I’ve done so much more down here than any of you have ever given the effort to do, these people depend on me.” I snapped my mouth shut and pouted, she chuckled warmly and stood. “I’ll call Aizawa to pick you up.”

I nodded and she retreated into a bedroom.

Rosemary

“Hey,” I said into the receiver.

Aizawa hummed a greeting into the phone. “Is he okay?”

I peaked around the door at the hero, he was happily drinking his water muttering to himself. “I believe so, well enough to get back to wherever need be.”

“And he’s okay with…you?”

My eyebrows furrowed and I shut my door leaning against the wall. “What do you mean?”

He hesitated. “Your profession.”

“Oh,” I realized. “Well the first thing he did was beg me to be a hero but other than that he hasn’t called the police yet.”

“Ask him when he’s able to leave.”

“Copy that,” I hung up and turned out the door.

The hero turned to me with a question already on his lips. “What did-”

“He’d like to know if you’re well enough to leave,” I cut him off, not in a rude tone, just polite and quiet. I wanted him out of my apartment as soon as possible.

He blinked at me before nodding slowly. “But-”

“Would you like me to have him pick you up?”

“Sure, just-”

I pulled out my phone and shot him a text. “I’ll notify him no-”

“Would you stop that?” His tone was gentle but annoyed.

Slowly I nodded. “What would you like to ask?”

“Who are you?”

“My name is Rose,” I said honestly.

“Why did you save me?”

“You were hurt.”

“How did you meet Aizawa?”

“He helped me save a family from a burning building.”

“What’s your quirk?”

I rocked back on my heels with a bashful look. “I, uh, I don’t have one.”

He looked at me in confusion then awe crept into his gaze. “You don’t have a quirk?”

“Nope,” I shook my head.

“And you do all this?”

“Mhm,” I push back my hair and step into the kitchen. “Anything else?”

He shook his head.

Mr. Grumpy: I’m outside, cover him up with a blanket or something.

I tossed him a black blanket which he quickly caught. “Aizawa’s waiting.”

I walked him out to a black car where two men leaned against the door. Aizawa and-

“Kaccha- I mean- Pro-hero Dynamight!” Deku chirped, bounding over to the car.

I chuckled and crossed my arms standing off to the side as he limped over, the blonde’s eyes went from annoyed to concerned very quickly. Aizawa nodded at me and I went to turn around.

“Wait!” Deku called, he loosely grabbed my wrist and I turned around with a confused look.

“Yes?”

“I-uh-just wanted to thank you,” He said, rocking back on his heels, Dynamite and Aizawa exchanged looks.

I blinked several times before smiling under my mask and holding out my hand for him to shake. “Any time, pleasure to meet you, Deku.”

He blushed furiously and shook my hand, I watched as he limped back over to the car. Aizawa walked over to me and handed me my blanket.

“I can’t thank you enough, Rose,” He sighed.

I folded the cloth over my arm with a shrug. “Least I could do, are the kids okay?”

He nodded. “Turned them into safer hands, good work by the way, two more off the streets.”

“Mhm,” Before he could walk away I spoke up. “I very much appreciate you sending heroes to help but next time maybe prepare him at least a little bit?”

He nodded solemnly. “I’ll be sure to teach him a bit more on what to expect. They’re usually expecting quirks and not knives.”

“Well it nearly cost him his life,” I told him, not condescending, just informative. “Be careful.”

“Will do.”

I scaled down the walls without a sound, the two men shouted and charged toward my swiftly approaching figure.

“WATCH HE-” He was cut off by my hard right hook, the other dropped his gun to the ground and fell to his knees.

“Giving up so easily?” I said amused, yet alert.

He shrugged and met me with a firm glare. “What’s the point in trying?”

I studied his expression but he never faltered from his cocky gaze. “Suit yourself,” His face finally changed as he grinned when I grabbed his wrist.

Pain struck through me and I clutched my hand with a muffled scream. The man chuckled darkly and stood over my trembling form, his eyes crazed as my veins filled with poison and my mind went numb.

“The fuck did you do to me?” I hissed, voice rough with agony.

“My quirk, it fills those who touch my skin with heart stopping poison,” He gripped my hair. “I’m sure you feel like your being torn from the inside out right-”

A burst of green light erupted from behind him and I watched as a glowing figure grabbed the back of his neck and threw him back. I collapsed back down with a yell.

The man fell into a heap of gray and black and Deku proceeded to dash toward me.

“Rose?” He panicked. I groaned in response, he was fast to drag me up and prop me against the wall. My skin was quickly paling and my head sagged on my neck. “You need a hospital now,” He reached for me and I allowed him to carry me bridal style. “What did he do?”

“Poison,” I mumbled. “Wait…need to take ‘em in,” I tried to move but quickly found that my body was in paralyzing pain.

He shook his head. “I already called Aizawa.”

‘He did?’ I thought. ‘When?’

I looked up at him and found that we were already in a white building.

‘How did we get to Might Tower?’ I thought. ‘I could swear we were just in an alley?’

“Recovery Girl!” Deku shouted, bringing attention to my limp form.

She hobbled over, took one look at me, then suddenly I was in a bed with people in white lab coats poking me with needles.

“C’mon…Hun…losing…with me…Rosemary!”

I didn’t wake up for another week.

I tried to sit up but the thousands of needles in my arms were holding me down. My frustration only grew and I kicked my feet. A nurse from outside poked her head in and frowned at me.

“Hey!” She scolded and came to my side, gently holding me down. “You need those, Miss.”

I opened my mouth to argue but a tube was cutting off my words and doing my breathing for me. She reached over to me and pressed a button. “Easy, Miss. Your doctor should come in soon.”

True to her words a few minutes went by and a tall woman with black hair walked in and started firing off yes or no questions.

“Good, I’ll have Recovery Girl come in and give you a quick final check up before we get some of those IV’s out,” She turned to leave before turning around with an ‘Oh!’ “Mr. Deku asked to be notified when you woke up so I’m sure he’ll be around.”

I nodded and looked at my phone.

Mr. Grumpy: Just sent Deku down to you.

Mr. Grumpy: Copy?

Mr. Grumpy: Rose

Mr. Grumpy: Deku just called for backup I swear if either one of you die I’ll make you clean my house for months

Mr. Grumpy: I’ll be having Dynamight and Deku take over for you until you’re well. Call when you can, please get better.

Recovery Girl was the next to come in, she smiled at me and asked more questions.

As she unhooked me from my ropes of plastic we chatted quietly to get my voice up. “Ya know that boy of yours was nearly attached to your hip this whole time.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “Who?”

She glanced at my confused expression. “Deku, he was so worried I thought he would burst.”

“Ohhhhh,” I nod. “Yeah Aizawa’s sent us on quite a few missions together recently.”

She smiled. “Have you texted either of them yet?”

“No, I thought I’d be better to wait until I don’t look like-”

“-Shit?” Deku finished leaning on the door frame. “S’not that bad.”

I didn’t take my eyes off him as he took like my face without the mask, I wiggled and Recovery Girl whispered out a scold. The black piece of cloth wasn’t in the room and it was making me feel enclosed.

“Alright,” She hummed, rubbing my wrist on the spot she had just pecked. “You should be poison free, no notes other than start wearing gloves.”

“Will do,” I smiled softly as she hobbled past Deku.

“Hi,” He said, walking fully into the room.

“Hello,” I greeted.

It was silent for a moment. “Are you feeling better?”

“Much.”

“Okay.”

Another long silence, I broke eye contact. “I apologize for the trouble I may have caused you during my time unconscious, I should have-”

“Rose,” He stopped me walking to look down on me. “You don’t have to apologize for being injured, I was just repaying the favor.”

“Okay,” I smiled down to my lap and fiddled with my nails.

“Hey Rose?”

“Hm?”

“Would you-” He cleared my throat and I giggled at his high squeak. “Sorry- Would you maybe like to go out with me? Like dinner? Or lunch is fine- even breakfast!”

I chuckled at his blush and increasingly high voice. “I’d love to.”

He visibly relaxed and nodded aggressively. “I, uh, so…okay to be completely honest my friends told me to ask you out and that’s how far I got because I didn’t think this through. Oh gosh-Sorry, I’m such an idiot I should’ve thought more about this. If you don’t want to anymore I under-”

I laughed and kissed his check softly. “I’m still going, I’ll take a shower then we can drive down to Aizawa’s.”

He nodded dumbly, still reeling from my light kiss. “Yuh huh.”

Requests are always open and appreciated!

#oc #izuku midoriya #bnha izuku #mha #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya izuku x oc

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snarkymonkeyprime · 1 year ago

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@magic-ramen*all the cuddles*

Ethan flexed his hand again, wincing at the stiffness. Fuck, what a shit night. Coming back to the force wasn't has difficult as he'd expected until tonight. It was as if anything that could go wrong, did. A suspect in a murder they'd had under surveillance had slipped the net, another one had lawyered up so tightly they likely wouldn't get word out until court started, and then a junkie had lost his mind in the holding cells.

In an effort to subdue the wiry idiot, Ethan had tried to lock him into a chokehold only to get pen rammed into his palm for the effort. He hadn't even noticed the injury until they'd shot the guy with three different tasers. By then, he'd lost feeling in most of his hand and had reluctantly gone to the hospital under Chernov's direction.

No permanent damage but plenty of pain medication for the next week or so and a required week of rest. If it had been anyone else requesting it, Ethan would have shrugged off the demand but it was Chernov and Chernov knew Kai and Chernov would tell Kai.

There were worse things, he supposed. He barely registered the few stitches he got, instead focusing on getting out and getting home. He'd told Kai he'd be home at a normal time and here it was, three in the morning as he was pulling to a stop in front of the garage.

He shut off the car with a sigh. He supposed he should have expected this. There hadn't been anything remotely normal in their relationship from the start. Why not get stabbed with a pen by a junkie screeching in the precinct.

It was late enough (early enough?) that he likely wouldn't wake Kai walking in, but even so, he slipped in as quietly as he could, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. He frowned as he realized he could hear noise in the living room.

He sighed. Dek likely left the tv on again. He still wasn't sure if he believed Kai's assurances that Dek was a demon but he certainly wasn't human. With terrible taste in entertainment, by Ethan's opinion.

He slipped into the living room, surprised to find Kai bundled up on the couch, snoring softly, arms wrapped around a cushion and face squashed awkwardly. The tv was on, quiet and flickering in the dark room. He crouched down by Kai's head, brushing the dark brown curls off the man's forehead.

"Baby?" he murmured.

Kai sighed in his sleep, scrunching his nose in a familiar wrinkle.

Ethan smiled at that. Waking Kai was akin to moving mountains some days. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to Kai's head. "Baby," he nudged, "you should be in bed."

"s waiting for your," he slurred, speech muffled by his folded arms.

He winced at that, carding his fingers through the man's hair. "Yeah, sorry. Shit went haywire."

One eye cracked open, blurry with sleep. "You okay?"

Ethan waved his hand, belatedly realizing it was his bandaged one when Kai's visible eye widened.

He sat up then, yawning. He took Ethan's wrist, examining the bandage. Still half-awake, he blinked at Ethan in obvious question.

Ethan sat back on his heels. "Someone in lockup had an episode and stabbed me with a pen."

To his surprise, Kai cooed in sympathy, lifting Ethan's hand and pressing a kiss to the covered palm. "'m sorry," he murmured, yawning again." Still holding Ethan's hand, he pressed it gently to his cheek. "Hurt?"

Ethan's heart stuttered. He swallowed, and shook his head. After a moment, he cleared his throat and rasped, "Chernov told me to take the next two days off. Pretty sure he'll write me up if I try to show for my shift tomorrow." He glanced at Kai, the amber eyes drifting shut again. "So. I can make up for tonight that way."

Kai breathed out, his eyes fully shut. He kissed Ethan's hand again and said, "Nothing to make up for." His eyes half-opened, a sleepy smile curling his lips. "Happy you're home, though."

Ethan retrieved his hand, cupping Kai's cheek as he did, thumb stroking the warm skin. "Me too, baby." He leaned in, kissing Kai, tasting the other man's soft sigh as he did. When he pulled back, he didn't fight the grin at Kai's dazed look.

He stood, tugging Kai up with him as he did. "All right. Bed."

Kai made a nonsensical noise of protest but followed along, leaning into Ethan as they headed to the bedroom.

Exhaustion finally sank in as he watched Kai pull back the covers, slipping under the blankets with a tiny, happy sound. He changed clothes, eager to do the same. By the time he returned the bed, Kai was fast asleep, curled up on his side.

He crouched down by Kai's die, reaching out to stroke his lover's face. How the hell had this become his life? He'd fully expected Kai to cut him off completely. Carve him out like a cancer. Instead, here he was, the one place he knew he'd die without.

He took a shuddering breath, hand trembling. He would do anything for Kai. Anything. He didn't think he'd ever find anyone to fit that hole in his life. Figured he'd end up dead alone, a string of anonymous lovers his only proof he'd existed. He certainly believed he'd fucked up with Kai once the reality of his role came to light. That had burned his heart with the same pain as the night his mother had died.

He never wanted that to happen again. Couldn't bear the idea of never touching Kai again. Of not waking up next to him. Of not seeing him. That deep-seated fear threatened to steal his breath an he bit his lip, grounding himself.

"I'll always come home to you, baby," he whispered. "Nothing will keep me away from you. Never again." His eyes burned with emotion and he shut them tight, gritting his teeth.

With a quick breath, he composed himself, rising from the floor. His hand throbbed and he turned to the medication at his bedside, tossing back two with a slug of water. He slid under the covers, wrapping his arms around Kai, pressing his lips to that familiar neck as he did. He placed a kiss over the man's sleep-slow pulse and murmured, "I'm gonna marry you, one day." He tightened his arms around Kai, smiling at the contented murmur it elicited. He yawned, sleep stealing over him quickly as he laced his uninjured fingers with Kai's.

"Gonna keep you forever."

#kaithan #fluff #sleepy Kai is sleepy #Kai hunter walker #detective Ethan oakes #hhnf

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olko71 · 2 years ago

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New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on http://yaroreviews.info/2023/02/cvs-nearing-10-5-billion-deal-for-primary-care-provider-oak-street-health

CVS Nearing $10.5 Billion Deal for Primary-Care Provider Oak Street Health

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WSJ News Exclusive

.css-chtxzh-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumbdisplay:inline;color:var(--interactive-text-color);@media only screen and (min-width: 0px) and (max-width: 639px).css-chtxzh-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb:beforecolor:var(--secondary-text-color);content:'@media only screen and (min-width: 640px) and (max-width: 979px).css-chtxzh-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb:beforecolor:var(--secondary-text-color);content:'@media only screen and (min-width: 980px) and (max-width: 1299px).css-chtxzh-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb:beforecolor:var(--secondary-text-color);content:'@media only screen and (min-width: 1300px).css-chtxzh-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb-Breadcrumb:beforecolor:var(--secondary-text-color);content:'

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Health

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The deal would expand the health insurer and pharmacy chain’s role in medical care

#PAID

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lothricknightgirl · 3 years ago

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Logs of IGTUS Horizon (PT-4)

Another chapter of my space groupchat. There are a lot of words under the thing

>>>>> System Start

>>>>> Settings Access

>>>>> Run Loggroupchatupdate.exe

>>>>> Update Successful!

>>>>> CHATLOG CREATED - 1 USERS

--------

> U1/A - Kraken - Created Chatlog “Drunken Spacers”

>>> U1 Invited <DATA EXPUNGED> Users!

U2: Kraken, it is 6:00 A-fucking-M, what the hell is this?

U1/A: I got really fracking tired with using the cargo logs as a groupchat so I made a separate menu to use instead

U2: Why the hell are you doing it at 6 in the goddamn morning?????

U16: GROUPCHAT POG

U3: I am really starting to regret teaching you earth lingo

U16: Shut your fucking trap cook

U3: My fucking trap you say?

U2: Don’t you two start, I haven’t had enough stims for this yet, damnit it all to hells

U1/A: Alright, roll call!

U2: Cap here

U3: Cook present

U16: De’kyre at attention

U2: that everyone?

U16: Everybody else is asleep for now

U3: Thank the suns grace

U1/A: Alright, now that that’s done with -

>>> U1/A - Kraken accessed admin settings

>>> U16 changed their name to De’kyre!

>>> U2 changed their name to Captain Cocksauce!

Captain Cocksauce: You are such an arse

>>> U3 changed their name to cook!

De’kyre: Oooh new names

De’kyre: Hey krakey can I have admin?

>>> U1/A changed their name to Kraken

Kraken: Absolutely not

De’kyre: Bellend

Cook: Do you even know what that word means?

Captain Cocksauce: Oi, krak, give admin

Kraken: Fine

>>> Captain Cocksauce has been granted admin privileges!

>>> Captain Cocksauce has changed their name to Cap’n!

Cap’n: There, much better

De’kyre: So you give it to cap and not me?

Kraken: Considering she is literally the captain, yeah

Kraken: SO, Cap, Dek, update on repairs?

Cook: Ditto on that

Cap’n: Good. Ship should be out soon enough, if there aren’t any fuck ups

De’kyre: You wound us cap, you know my crew’s the best!

Cap’n: When they aren’t rigging the medics office with “Glitter Bombs”, sure

Kraken: I’m going to fucking get you and southpaw for that one of these days Dek, just you wait

De’kyre: Oh noes I’m sos scawed, the big bad medics all scawy and mad!!!!

>>> User Kraken has accessed admin settings

>>> User De’kyre has been muted for 6 hours standard terran

Cap’n: Thank you krak

Cook: What’re we feelin’ for breakfast 2day folks?

Kraken: Remember the bowls of glutinous white grains with sauce and meat you made one time?

Cook: Rice pork bowls?

Kraken: YES! That!

Cap’n: Do we got anymore of those weird earth eggs?

Cook: I currently have an abundance in the deep cold storage

Cap’n: Can I have that over some rice?

Cook: Can do mate

Cook: Krak, unmute Dek so I can get what he wants for foo

Kraken: Do I have to?

Cook: Kraken.

Kraken: Fine

>>> User Kraken has accessed admin settings

>>> User De’kyre unmuted

De’kyre: Thx cook

Cook: What do you want for early cycle?

De’kyre: Just tea pls

Cook: Earl or Peach?

De’kyre: Peach

Cook: alright then

Cook: I’ll get started on that, and you lot meet me in the galley

> Cap’n/Kraken/De’kyre responded with AFFIRMATION

Cook: Also, tell southpaw to quit pinching my bloody potatoes!

#my writing #humans are space pirates #humans are space orcs #HASO #Bis rants

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patsuantv · 3 years ago

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Sims 4 - Doktorluk Kariyeri İncelemesi

Sims 4’te 24 Ekim 2020 – 19 Haziran 2021 arası haftalık olarak Youtube kanalım PatsuanTV’de yayınladığım Doktorculuk serisinde Doktorluk kariyerini incelemiş ve 10. seviye olan en üst seviyeye ulaşmıştım. Bu yazıda kariyerlerle ilgili aldığım notları bulabilirsiniz. Güncel oyunda Doktorluk kariyerinden bekleyebileceklerinizi kaleme aldım, videosunu da çektim.

Seri videolarına buradan ulaşabilirsiniz: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2i6tT4jJd0Zi5EilpjKM9UZFXMX-mUzX Bu notları anlattığım videoma da buradan ulaşabilirsiniz: https://youtu.be/8sq2rXskVwE

Genel Bakış:

Oyunda tüm paketlerim vardı videoları çekerken, bu nedenle başka paketlerin de özelliklerini kullandım ancak aktif Doktorluk kariyeri yalnızca Get to Work genişleme paketi sahibiyseniz oynanabiliyor.

Kariyere girdikten sonra iş saati geldiğinde “Join” diyerek siminizle beraber hastaneye gidiyorsunuz. Burda sol üstteki barda verilen görevleri yerine getirmeniz gerekiyor gün içinde. Bunları tamamladıkça çıkan tıp sembolü bronzdan gümüşe, gümüşten altına (8) geçiyor. Buna göre aldığınız para (-/+ %30) ve performansınız değişiyor. Bu her aktif kariyerde aynı, sadece sembol değişiyor.

İş gününün süresi bitmek üzereyken sol üstteki barın sağındaki saat sembolü kırmızı yanıp sönmeye başlıyor. Bu durumda o işarete tıklayıp 1 saat daha fazladan iş yerinde kalabiliyorsunuz. Hastaları iyileştirme garantiniz olmadığı için bu her zaman iyi bir seçenek olmayabilir; özellikle siminizin ihtiyaç barları çok düşmüşse. Bu durumda iyi tanı koyamıyorlar anladığım kadarıyla.

Her kariyerde olduğu gibi sağ alttaki çanta sembolünden gördüğünüz iş özelliklerinde kariyer seviyesine has görevi tamamlamanız ve performans barını, sağ tarafındaki tick işareti yanıncaya dek ilerletmeniz gerekiyor seviye atmanız için.

Hasta iyileştirme süreci: Önce hastayı yatağa davet etmeniz gerekiyor ve bundan sonra oturan hastayla etkileşime geçiyorsunuz (Examine Patient). Hastaya genel sağlığını sorabilir, gözlerine, kulaklarına vs. bakabilirsiniz bir sorun var mı diye. Daha sonra eğer seviyeniz 1’se hastanızı daha üst seviye bir doktora aktarmanız gerekiyor. Eğer seviyeniz 2-6 arasıysa çoğu hastalığı iyileştirebiliyorsunuz. 7. Seviye sonrası ameliyat bile yapabiliyorsunuz. 8. seviye sonrasında da doğum yaptırabilir hale geliyorsunuz. Tanıları koymak için belli belirtiler oluyor hasta simlerde ve bunları yavaş modda simlerin animasyonlarını izleyerek anlayabiliyorsunuz. Kırmızı kaplan çizgileri (5) çıkan bir hastada genelde “Gas and Giggles” hastalığı oluyor mesela.

Örnek alma (Swap sample) etkileşimi tek özel muayene yöntemi. Bunu yaptıktan sonra siminiz düzgün bir şekilde doku örneği alabildiyse Chemical Analyzer (kimyasal analiz cihazı) ile bu örneği incelemeniz gerekiyor. Siminiz yorgunsa doku alması (7) da analizden sonuç çıkarması da zorlaşıyor.

Hastayla çok etkileşime geçtikten sonra koyabildiğiniz tanılar gittikçe azalıyor ve tanı koyarken bazı hastalıkların yanında tıp sembolü çıkıyor. Bu doğru tanı o hastalık demek zannetmiştim ama öyle olmadığı çok durumla karşılaştım. Benim için tam bir bilinmezlik bu durum.

38 bölümün 9 bölümü canlı yayınlarda, 2 bölümü ön gösterim şeklinde yapıldı. 3 bölüm de ev inşası/renovasyonlarıyla ilgiliydi.

Uzun yaşam modunda oynadığım için ana karakterim young adult (genç erişkin) olarak başlayıp bitirdi seriyi.

Canlı yayınlarda 1 veya 2 saat oynadığım bölümler dışında haftalık video olan bölümlere de 40-50 dk arası zaman harcayarak bölümleri çektim. Toplamda ortalama olarak 36 saat kadar sürdü ve hiç kayıt dışı oynamadım. Bittikten sonra kayıt dışı birkaç saat oynadıktan sonra bu sürenin %10’unun videonun çekimleri ve canlı yayındaki yazışmalarla etkileşim sırasında harcandığını düşünüyorum. Ev arkadaşları, köpekler ve çocukla evde geçirilen zamanı çok arttırdığım için serinin %40’ının kariyer dışında geçtiğini düşünebiliriz. Dolayısıyla içerik üretmeyen biri için hile yapmadan kariyerde en üst seviyeye ulaşmanın 18 saat kadar süreceğini tahmin ediyorum. Bu hesaba kullandığım kolaylaştırma yöntemleri dahil değil. Bu yüzden sizin oyununuzda doktorluğun daha uzun süreli bir kariyer olması olası.

Hastanedeki diğer simler hastalarla hiç ilgilenmiyorlar (4. seviyeden sonra) siz tüm hastalara tanı koyabilmeye başlayınca. Bu yüzden ha0073tanede sıra bekleyen hastalar siz birilerini iyileştirmeye uğraşırken hastaneyi terk edip performansınızı düşürebiliyorlar. Aman dikkat!

House Call (eve çağrı), Work Emergency (analiz için acil durum) ve doğumlar özel etkinlikler. Bunlar kolay etkinlikler olduğundan performansınızı arttırmak için yapılmalarını tavsiye ederim kesinlikle. Elinizdeki işi bir kenara koyup hemen bunları yapmaya koyulun çünkü oyunda 1 saat kadar sonra yapılamaz hale geliyorlar.

Çok etkisini hissetmemiş olsam da evdeki veya hastanedeki bilgisayarda doktorluk kariyeriyle ilgili ekstra işler çıkıyor, tıpla ilgili araştırma yapmak, gibi. Bunları yapınca odaklı hale geliyorsunuz ancak iş performansınızı veya mantık yeteneğinizi etkilemiyor gibi. Hastanedeyken günlük görev olarak çıktığında elbette ki performansınızı arttıracak bir aktivite oluyor, bu yüzden atlamayın derim.

Resepsiyonda oturan simin ne işe yaradığını çözemedim. Ondan beklentiniz olmasın.

Gereken Yetenekler:

Logic (mantık) – Testlerden doğru sonuç çıkarma olasılığını arttırıyor ama bu ihtimal daha çok işte seviye atlayınca artan bir şey aslında.

Kolaylaştırma:

Quick Learner (çabuk öğrenen) reward trait (ödül karakter özelliği) yetenekleri hızlı geliştirmek açısından etkili. Ben Nerd Brain (dahi beyni) hayat amacını seçerek bu özelliğe sahip hale getirmiştim ana karakteri.

Evde bozulan eşyalar ve yangınlar tamamen zaman ve para kaybı olduğundan siminize tamir etmeyi öğrettiğinize emin olun. Handiness (el becerisi) yeteneği yeterince geliştiğinde de evdeki eşyaları bozulmaz, pislenmez hale getirebilirsiniz.

Aspiration (hayat amacı) için yapılan görevleri tamamladıkça gelen puanlarla alabileceğiniz birçok reward trait (ödül karakter özelliği) var. Örneğin, seri boyunca enerji seviyesinin düşüşünü çok yavaşlatan “Seldom Sleepy” (Nadiren Uykulu) özelliğini seçtim ben ve 1,5-2 günde bir uyumak yeterli hale geldi.

Get to Work ile gelen Chemical Analyzer eşyasını eve koyup evde analiz çalışmaları yapabilirsiniz. Bu şekilde hem mantık yeteneğiniz gelişiyor hem de odaklı hale geliyorsunuz ama satranç oynamaktan farklı olarak bu aletle yanınızda taşıyabileceğiniz elementler bulmanız mümkün oluyor. Bu elementler ortalık yere koyabileceğiniz ve “Enable Emotinal Aura” (duygu aurasını aktifleştir) deyip koyduğunuz odada odaklı aura yaymasını sağlayabileceğiniz çok yararlı eşyalar. Bu şekilde simleriniz bu elementlerin olduğu odada muhtemelen odaklı duruma geçeceklerdir. İhtimali arttırmak için ben 2 veya 3 element koyuyordum odaya, mutlaka veriyordu odaklı hali bu şekilde. Hastanede de kullanabiliyor olmanız büyük bir artı, bu yüzden erkenden birçok element toplayıp hastanenin köşelerine yerleştirmeniz işinizi çok kolaylaştıracaktır.

Hastaneye gittiğinizde klavyenizden ctrl+shift+c’ye basıp “bb.freebuildmode on” şifresi ile hastaneyi yeniden düzenleyebiliyorsunuz. Bu şekilde hastaneyi düzenleyin ya da benim galerimden (yibikun34) optimal hastane inşasını indirin. Sizin için seriyi düşünerek en etkin hastaneyi inşa etmeye çalıştım. Böylelikle kariyeri daha kısa sürede tamamlamanız mümkün olacaktır. İnşa videosuna burdan göz atabilirsiniz:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmlA9clIBIQ

Kariyerde 7. seviyeye gelmeden önce koşu bandı ve X-ray makinasını kullanmayın. Siminizin buradan tanıyla ilgili iyi bir karar verme olasılığı 7. seviyeye kadar çok düşük olduğu için bu aktivite sadece zaman kaybı oluyor. Günlük görevleriniz arasındalarsa diğer görevlere odaklanın.

Ek paketlerle yapılabilenler:

Evi tiny home (ufak ev) yapmanız evdeyken yetenekleri geliştirmeniz için çok faydalı olacaktır. (Tiny Living)

Kulüp kurup ev işlerini arkadaşlarınıza yaptırabilirsiniz. Rastgele bir kulüp oluşturun ve taşındığınızda sizi ziyarete gelen insanları bu gruba ekleyin. Daha sonra grupta yapılması önerilen aktivite olarak temizlik, tamir gibi ev işleriyle ilgili aktiviteleri seçerseniz grup buluşması sırasında simler bunları yapmaya yönelecektir. (Get Together)

Siminize herhangi bir anda eğlence ihtiyacını arttırmak için kulaklıkla müzik dinletebilirsiniz. Normalde “Focusing” music dinleyen sim odaklı hale gelirken nedense kulaklıktan dinlediklerinde bu işe yaramıyor. Bu yüzden sadece eğlence ihtiyacını gidermek için güçlü bir araç diyebiliriz kulaklıklara. Oyunda ev halkına ilk gün içinde kulaklıkları ücretsiz veriliyor ama bu bazen çalışmayabiliyor. Bu durumda bilgisayardan “purchase earbuds” diyerek sipariş verebilirsiniz. (Fitness Stuff)

Bust the Dust kitini aldıysanız ve evinizde hayvan varsa ev daha hızlı kirlenecektir. Temizlik işleri çok zaman kaybettirebildiği için iki yöntem var gibi buna karşı: Ayarlardan kiti etkisiz hale getirebilir veya Cats & Dogs genişleme paketiniz varsa rumba alıp otomatik olarak evin temizlenmesini sağlayabilirsiniz. Rumbalar platformlu evlerde çok takılıyorlar şu an (Temmuz 2021), o yüzden bu kararı ona göre verebilirsiniz. (Bust the Dust ve Cats & Dogs) – Ek: 21 Temmuz güncellemesiyle bu sorunun çözüldüğünü söylediler, henüz test etme fırsatım olmadı.

Seviye seviye irdeleme: Bazı bölümlerde ana karakterin hayatıyla ilgili kısımlar olduğundan hiç hastaneye gitmemişliğim bile var. Bu nedenle her seviyeyi kaçıncı bölümde görebileceğiniz parantez içinde yorumlarımın sonuna ekledim.

Medical Intern (Stajyer Doktor): El yıkama, hastalarla/hastane çalışanlarıyla konuşma, yemekhaneden atıştırmalık alma gibi hastaneyi ve ortamı tanıtan bir seviye. Bu aşamada tanıyı koyması için üst seviye doktorları hastaya yönlendirmeniz gerekiyor. (Bölüm 1-2)

Orderly (Hasta Bakıcı): Yatakları düzeltebilir, hastaları muayene edebilir ve hastalardan aldığınız doku örneklerini analiz makinesinde inceleyebilirsiniz. Bu aşamada çoğu hastalığa tanı koyup hastaları tedavi edebilir hale geliyorsunuz. Üst seviyelere göre çok basit hastalıklarla geliyor simler. (Bölüm 3-5)

Medical Assistant (Asistan Doktor): Hâlâ arada sırada yer silmeniz gerekebiliyor bu seviyede. Hastalıklar kolay denk geldiği için 3 hasta iyileştirme görevinde zorlanmıyorsunuz. (Bölüm 7)

Medical Technologist (Tıp Teknisyeni): Bu seviyede hastalıklara tanı koyabilir hale geliyorsunuz. Bundan öncekilerde basit hastalıkları doğrudan tedavi edebilirken artık hastalıkları algılayıp doğru tanı koyduktan sonra tedavi uygulayabiliyor hale geliyorsunuz. Bu seviyede doğru tanı + iyileştirme kombinasyonunu bir kere yapmak kolaydı benim için. Ayrıca acil durum olarak başka bir hastaneden gelen analizleri yapmanız istenebiliyor. (Bölüm 8)

Assistant Nurse (Asistan Hemşire): Bu seviyede yaptığım analizler ve testlerdeki başarı oranım birden çok düşmüş gibi hissettim. Mantık seviyesiyle veya evde tıp çalışmayla ilgisi olmuş olabilir diye düşünüyorum. Bu yüzden 2 tane seviyede doğru tanı + iyileştirme kombinasyonu görevi epey terletti. Ev çağrıları ve ameliyatlar da bu seviyede başlıyor. (Bölüm 9-12, 14-16)

R.N. (Lisanslı Hemşire): Hamile bir simin bebeğinin cinsiyetini söylebiliyor hale geliyoruz burda. Bence hoş bir ayrıntı. Ayrıca hastaneye acil ameliyatlık simler gelmeye başlıyor ek etkinlik olarak. (Bölüm 17-20)

Doctor - General Practitioner (Doktor – Pratisyen Hekim): 3 tane ameliyat yapmanız gerekiyor bu seviyede ve birden ameliyatlık sim pek denk gelmez oldu. Doğru tanı koymanın iyice zorlaştığı kısımlardı bu. Bu seviyeden itibaren hangi hastalığın göstergesi neymiş diye arada internetten bakmam gerekti. Yine de bazı durumlarda tek tanı ihtimaline düşmüyorsunuz. Bu yüzden performansınız sürekli iyi gidemiyor ne kadar zorlasanız zorlayın. Çocuklar nispeten iyileştirmesi daha kolay ama ameliyat edilemediklerinden bu seviyede yatağa kabul ettikten sonra görmezden gelebilirsiniz. (Bölüm 21-28)

Medical Specialist (Uzman Doktor): Bu seviyeden sonra ödül karakter özelliği olarak hastalık direnci geliyor karakterinize. Bu seviyeden sonraki seviyelerde doktor karakterim sadece bir kez hasta oldu. Etkisini çok fazla hissetmediğim bir özellik açıkçası. Seviyenin görevi olan bir kez doğum yaptırma çok kolay, sadece doğuma simin gelmesi için epey bir hastaneye gidip gelmem gerekti. Nadiren doğuma gelen oluyor çünkü. (Bölüm 29-33)

Surgeon (Cerrah): Bu seviye de 5 tane doğru tanı + iyileştirme kombinasyonu görevi veriyor ve hiçbir yenilik yok aslında. Arada internetten araştırarak ve çocukları iyileştirmeye odaklanarak 5. seviyeye göre biraz daha hızlı halledebildim bu seviyeyi. (Bölüm 34-38)

Chief of Staff (Ekip Şefi): Bu seviyeyi aktif olarak oynamadım seri bittiği için. Garip bir şekilde simi işe gönderdiğimde performansının artmadığını gördüm. Bu seviyeye geldiğinizde açılan doktor odasını evinizde kullanmanızın bir anlamı yok. Sanıyorum hastanede kendinize oda yaratmak isteyebilirsiniz diye tasarlanmış bir özellik. Bunu görünce önceki seviyelerde hediye gelen ve fonksiyonel gibi görünen hastane eşyalarını satmanın daha yerinde olacağını düşündüm. (Kayıt dışı)

#sims4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 medic #sims 4 doktor #sims 4 kariyer #inceleme #oyun #simülasyon #patsuantv #youtube

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valinakhiarinnisa · 5 years ago

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Kebaikan yang Mengalir Sampai Akhirat

“Gimana dik Ina sekarang di Surabaya? sudah mulai ngajar?”

“Ehm, kadang-kadang menggantikan dosen tetap untuk ngajar, Pakdhe.”

“Oh ya ngga apa-apa, memang prosesnya butuh waktu ya Dik. Pakde sama Budhe dulu juga gitu”

“Enjih, Pakdhe... dik Ina juga masih mau menyesuaikan sistem dulu. Kayaknya ada yang berubah prosedur, penilaian, dan beberapa hal lain. Kayaknya sekarang kampus mintanya lulusan S3 Pakdhe”

“Oh, ya ngga apa-apa dicoba dulu aja dik Ina. Sekolah lagi dek. Mumpung masih muda. Dik Ina sekarang usianya berapa dik”

“Alhamdulillah hari ini tepat 27, Pakdhe”

“Lho, selamat ulang tahun dik Ina. Budhe, dik ina ulang tahun iki lho”

Yogyakarta, 27 Oktober 2019, adalah pertemuan pertama dengan Pakde Yon setelah saya pulang dari Belanda, sekaligus pertemuan terakhir saya. Pakde yang mewanti-wanti saya untuk menunggu di Stasiun Tugu, karena sudah tengah malam. Yang bersikukuh mengantar saya pulang juga. Bahkan percakapan terakhir sepanjang perjalanan dari rumah Sapen ke Stasiun Tugu, Pakde mengkhawatirkan kesehatan Bapak.

“dik, Bapak sekarang kurusan ya. Kalau Mama kan dari dulu. hehehehe” ujarnya tenang diselipi canda.

“Iya Pakde. Kayaknya agak kecapean karena sekarang 3 hari di Pasuruan, 3 hari di Gresik.”

“Sudah pernah diajak medical check up, dik?”

“Sudah Pakdhe, sebulan lalu. Katanya alhamdulillah sehat”

“Dik Ina lihat hasil medical check upnya?”

Jleb. Begitulah Pakde Yon. Mengejar sampai titik yang menurut beliau valid, tapi tetap dengan nada yang tenang dan fokus mengendarai mobilnya.

“....Enggak, Pakdhe”

“Besok besok Bapak diantar Medical Check Up aja dik, sambil dilihat hasilnya, khawatirnya kalau laki-laki suka nggak dirasa kalau sakit atau capek.”

“Iya Pakdhe Yon, insya Allah, matur nuwun sanget Pakdhe...”

Dua pesan terakhir Pakdhe Yon di ulang tahun saya yang ke dua puluh tujuh adalah, sekolah dan menemani Bapak medical check up sekaligus melihat hasilnya.

Minggu, 8 Desember 2019.

Pagi itu saya berangkat ke Jogjakarta, tidak ada tujuan lain selain mengikuti Workshop yang diadakan UGM, diselenggarakan di Hotel Saphir, Yogkayarta, dimana jarak hotel ke rumah Pakdhe tinggal jalan kaki. Saya memang sudah menyewa penginapan, karena tidak mau terlalu merepotkan Pakde Bude, sekaligus ingin belajar intensif karena workshopnya mendatangkan Profesor Bouman, dosen saya di Belanda. Beberapa menit saya menginjakkan kaki di Stasiun Lempuyangan, tetiba saya membuka group WhatsApp dan membaca sebuah pesan dari Mas Roy,

“Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un, telah meninggal dunia Bapak kami tersayang di UGD RS. Sarjito. Mohon bantuan Om dan Tante untuk membantu mengurus proses pemakaman Bapak/ Pakdhe Yon”

Tangisku pecah di stasiun. Lututku lemas rasanya belum sanggup melangkah. Tapi, saya harus bergegas. Setelah mempertimbangkan beberapa hal, saya tidak menuju rumah sakit, melainkan menuju rumah Sapen (rumah Pakde Yon-Bude Tut), membantu mempersiapkan apapun yang bisa saya kerjakan bersama tetangga.

khawatirnya laki-laki kalau sakit atau capek suka ngga dirasa.

Frasa ini juga melekat dalam ingatan. Betapa, betapa kalimat Pakde ini nyata sekali di sekelilingku, bahkan mungkin termasuk Pakdhe Yon. Beberapa hari terakhir bahkan beliau masih berkutat dengan lembaran-lembaran seleksi calon profesor.

Budhe Tut (istri Pakde Yon) cerita ke saya, mengajak beliau untuk istirahat dulu. Tapi apa kata beliau?

“Iki nyangkut nasib e wong akeh lho, Bu” (ini menyangkut nasib banyak orang lho, Bu). Seketika aku teringat Rasulullah di detik-detik akhir hidupnya memikirkan umatnya.

Ya, beliau bukan hanya menjadi figur “Bapak” bagi keluarga besar kami, tapi juga menjadi role model bagi kami, ponakan-ponakan-nya, untuk melanjutkan pendidikan tinggi, mendedikasikan hidup sebagai penebar ilmu.

Saya pun jadi teringat momen-momen lain yang membuat saya terenyuh haru. Momen di bulan Mei 2011, Pakde menelepon saya begitu tahu saya tidak lolos SNMPTN Undangan dan harus tes SNMPTN Tulis. Pakde (dan Budhe) tak henti-hentinya memberikan dukungan lewat telepon.

Begitu juga menjelang pernikahan saya. Pakde Yon menjadi perwakilan keluarga yang memberikan sambutan. Semalam sebelumnya, beliau sempat keluar dari kamar dan menyuruh saya untuk leren.

“istirahat dik. besok pasti capek. jadi mending sekarang dipakai istirahat.”

Hebatnya Pakde, beliau selalu bisa membuat semua orang merasa spesial. Ternyata, Ibu saya pun punya cerita yang sama, bahkan lebih berkesan. Sewaktu Mama mau mengikuti Sipenmaru (seleksi penerimaan mahasiswa baru), Mama belajar ditemani Pakde dan Budhe. Pakde sengaja mengeraskan volume siaran pertandingan sepak bola agar Mama tidak tertidur.

“Ayo Tik, sinau Tik.” Begitu kata Mama menirukan Pakdhe. Pakde Yon juga yang mengantarkan Mama ikut seleksi sipenmaru 1983, naik bus panas-panas. Ya, menurut cerita Mama, Pakde menganggap Mama sudah seperti anak sendiri. Mungkin karena jarak usia Pakde dan Mama yang cukup jauh. Pakde adalah suami kakak pertama Mama, sementara Mama adalah anak bungsu dari tujuh bersaudara.

Begitu pula ketika Mama dinyatakan lolos Sipenmaru di IPB, Pakde berlari memanggil Mama sambil membawa koran pengumuman.

“Tik selamat Tik, lulus Tik” (nama ibu saya: Titi)

Mama cerita, kegirangan beliau menunjukkan nama Mama sebagai peserta yang lolos, bahkan melebihi kebahagiaan Mama sendiri. Ya, semua itu menunjukkan ketulus-ikhlasan Pakde. Jujur di titik menuliskan bagian ini, air mata saya tidak bisa saya tahan lagi. Pakde, terima kasih untuk segalanya.

Tak hanya kami keluarganya, yang sangat terinspirasi dari semangat beliau, terutama dalam hal mengabdi dalam dunia pendidikan, semangat meng-upgrade ilmu. Sepanjang takziyah, saya bertemu dengan salah satu mahasiswa Pakdhe yang juga mendapatkan pengalaman yang serupa dengan saya. Bahkan ia sampai memanggil dengan sebutan “Pakde” juga, karena Pakde tak henti-hentinya memberikan support kepada mahasiswa tersebut ketika belum lolos seleksi masuk program spesialis. Pakde tetap menyemangatinya untuk mengikuti seleksi di periode berikutnya.

Pakde kembali, Pakde menemui waktunya, pulang kampung menemui panggilan Allah. Allah begitu sayang padaNya, hingga kepergian beliau begitu tenang. Allahummaghfirlahu warhamhu wa ‘aafihi wa’fu anhu.

Pakde Supargiyono, terima kasih atas segala kebaikan yang Pakde ukir. Tulisan ini tentu sangat tidak mampu merepresentasikan semua kenangan dan memotret semua ketulusan Pakde, tapi dek Ina yakin, amal jariyah Pakde melangit hingga akhirat insyaAllah, Pakde. :’) Semoga kami bisa meneruskan estafet perjuangan Pakde. Dua pesan terakhir Pakde insyaAllah akan dek Ina laksanakan. Sekali lagi, terima kasih Pakde. Allah, kumohon tempatkan beliau disebaik-baiknya tempat di sisi-Mu :”)

Surabaya, 18 Desember 2019

ponakan terbungsu.

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flashthescalesian-art · 2 months ago

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Dek, in bed with Ollie: Your knees are on my side of the bed!

Ollie, barely awake: Oh, I misplaced them.

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starlightsoulwriting · 5 years ago

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L’appel du Vide

Cliff Unger x Reader

L'appel du Vide (n.) The unexplainable desire to jump when on the edge of a cliff Call of The Void AO3 Link

Porters are going missing. You and Fragile are at each other’s throats, and you’re still reeling from your incident ten months ago. And, on top of all your shit, life decides to drop a Cliff on you.

[Prologue][x][2]

Part One

Eight Months Later

It started with one.

One porter going missing on his way back to Mountain Knot Waystation.

It wasn’t uncommon - bad things happened to people out on the mountains. Even a small injury could turn deadly out there. What was strange, however, was that GPS and communications went dark in the middle of a call. He’d been cut off mid-sentence with a scream. A search call had been issued as soon as his team lost contact - there’d been no time to waste. Whether he was alive or dead, they were on a clock.

They searched for a week and a half.

There was no Voidout, no BTs, no crater - no porter. Bridges had even swept through with whole teams of people to make sure the MULEs weren’t up to something more shady than usual. There was nothing there either.

He had just vanished.

You couldn’t find him, either - and you’d tried. Even with all the Bridges cameras you hacked into borrowed and every facial recognition software the world had salvaged. The last trace of him was at his delivery. As soon as he stepped out sight, he was a ghost.

Then came the next two.

A small-town medicine runner in Capital Knot vanished a month later, and then only a week later it was a civilian. No-one had heard from any of them since they vanished. Some were theorizing it was something new - some new DOOMS phobia, or even theories of BTs that wouldn’t cause Void-outs. Others thought they had been taken by some psycho group like the now disbanded Homo Demens. There were lots of bad people out there.

But then a boy from your town went missing, and you were faced with the task of joining a search party.

Rami was a teenager with dreams of saving the world by making sure everyone had what they needed; he practically idolized Sam, and asked for an autograph every time he saw you. You didn’t have any, of course, but you could tell him what an amazing job he was doing, and that people like him were the backbone of the UCA.

He’d liked it when you told him that.

You hated the thought of him being stranded somewhere alone, with the threat of timefall and BTs still looming, no matter how rare. Even without that it would be hard - it was a long way from a Bridges medical center from here. Everyone in town had emergency medical training - but there was only so far that would go without more equipment - equipment Bridges hasn’t let you print because you’re independent, and only UCA gets high-level printing privileges.

The team of doctors was a few days out, minimum.

So if Rami was hurt, he would be dead soon, terrified and alone. Winter was closing in fast. Nighttime would bring hypothermia, and with it a trip to the beach. And if he was already dead? It was a sure thing Voidout - one that would catch you and your family. Either way, bad news.

It wasn’t often you poked your head out of the shelter for anything but your greenhouse, but you scrambled into your timefall gear and strapped on your (fav color) Odradek nonetheless. Anxiety writhed in your chest, a pit gnawing its way through to your stomach. He was such a nice kid. You wanted desperately to find him, but were also all too aware that you probably wouldn’t - twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. He was probably just as disappeared as the others. You went out hoping you were wrong.

Others in your group scattered, too. There were only about twenty of you out there - one person missing was a huge deal.

You tried not to think of how lonely he must be out there. Your hands shook in your gloves, warmth beginning to flood your system. Your eyes watered as you remembered yourself growing cold on the back of Sam’s bike. Almost dying.

But now wasn’t the time to think about that.

At the edge of your sensor line you paused and stared at the thin holographic strip that separated you and the rest of the world. It kept you safe - kept out intruders. Outside, all you had was yourself and your Odradek. This would be the first time in three months you stepped outside the comforting watch of your security system.

You were terrified.

But you had checked the security feeds this morning. There was nothing out here but your home group, a few MULE Camps and some BTs. Nothing that you hadn’t dealt with before. You’d been wandering like a porter by the time you were ten. But outside… was not looking very friendly at the moment. Not with people going missing. Not with Higgs still alive.

Cool wind on your face. Fall mountain air. The plastic crinkle of your suit. The soft ping of your Odradek. You focused on these things instead of your thoughts. He couldn’t get you out here. He had no reason to.

You stepped over the line.

Now for the hard part. You were out of shape, but the terrain was the same you’ve been scrambling on since you were young. You knew which ridges were steeper than they looked, or which caves made the best shelter from the rain. You knew which ones led to cliffs, or which were best treated like a slide on the way down. Your breath came out as puffs of mist and your lungs were cold but you felt home for the first time in months. If only it would last for more than just the day. But as soon as you found Rami reality would settle back in and you would hide again, this much you knew for certain.

Sometimes you could see people searching in the distance, but a quick ping said they were just other members of the search team. Even the MULEs were looking for him - you saw a few wandering - they knew just as well as anyone they were fucked if he necrotized. You wondered idly if your old friend Gurao was out searching with his band of gremlins. Probably. He was a thief but he kept his people safe.

Although maybe he would just want to jack the cargo Rami was carrying. Who knows. Probably both.

Either way, more people was a good thing.

You huffed up over a particularly annoying ridge - one you’d broken your leg on when you were twelve - and you paused, straightening.

Something was wrong here. Like someone had just repatriated - DOOMS wriggled around your senses, like a bunch of worms made home in your stomach and then took LSD.

This particular type of warning wasn’t like the one for BTs. No, this felt like the rippling waves that ran through the beach when Sam died and forced his way back. A pit opened up in your chest, and you started pinging your Odradek faster than was useful. It wasn’t picking up anything, but someone was out here! You could feel it. It wasn’t Rami - he wasn’t a repatriate - but it was still somebody who’d just died. Someone confused and hurt.

Well, if your Dek couldn’t cut it, then you would just have to find them yourself.

You sat down, closing your eyes. There was no sign of anyone, at least that you could see. But you could find them, you knew it. You just had to be fast before you lost the thread. It was like knowing where someone was speaking from, even with a blindfold on - except much fainter, harder to discern. You made a face, eyebrows furrowing, trying to find where it was the strongest…

There!

You shot to your feet, almost toppling over, and jogged-stumbled down the slope, catching yourself on rocks as you let gravity do the work for you. But it didn’t matter, you were running as fast as was safe. Repatriation was a horror show on a good day and literal, actual hell on a bad one.

You hoped today was a good day.

You turned a corner and into a shallow cave, heart racing. There he was, in mismatched protective gear, with no Odradek to be seen. He had containers of food and medicine with him, ID chips torn off the side.

You knew of these types. Desperate souls not in association with anyone - MULEs or Bridges. No permanent shelter, always moving. The type of people that ended up either dead or a villain with a tragic backstory, taking what lost cargo they could find and surviving. Of course he wouldn’t have an ID ping on your Dek, he didn’t have an ID to begin with.

He was still unconscious when you got close to him. He had obviously been here a while. There was blood puddled on the floor. His hood was up and he was just soaked in blood. So… so much blood. Blood on your hands, on the floor, it was everywhere…

You swallowed and pushed those thoughts away. That wasn’t helpful now. You could have a nervous breakdown later. (You also ignored your thoughts of the stories you’d heard about repatriates getting caught in death loops.)

You knelt next to him, pulling a med scanner from your belt with shaking hands. It wasn’t as accurate or comprehensive as the Bridges kit, but it would do. There was obviously a lot of blood loss, which you looked steadfastly away from - but it was in survivable range now. The magic of repatriation, you supposed. There were no open wounds or internal bleeding. Bones were fine.

It was when you lowered his hood that you had the shock of the year.

It was Cliff!

How the fuck had that happened? He’d been dead for forty years!

Was there a time limit on repatriation? You didn’t know. Shit, you needed to call Heartman and ask.

You hesitated to touch his face to see if he had any lingering scalp damage - a lot of the blood had come from his head. Your awkwardness got the best of you and you went back to the scanner, mind going about a hundred thousand miles an hour, and your heart going about three times that. Who would you call first? Sam or Heartman? Sam deserved to know - but wouldn’t it be better to talk to Heartman first and get a grip on the situation before involving Sam and risk upsetting him if this was just some cosmic “fuck you”?

You stood up and walked out of the cave, taking a deep breath of the crisp, foggy, miserable fresh air. This was so fucked up. You pressed your hands to your face and forced yourself to calm down. Fucked up afterlife shenanigans or not, you would help him get back to wherever he set up his camp. You could do that. You helped randos out every once in a while, why would this be any different?

You ignored the voices that told you all the reasons this was stupidly, horribly different.

So you sat down opposite Cliff in the cave, fiddling with your comm after you had made a call to the search captain. You tried to push down your nerves and guilt. You really hoped they found Rami okay.

You tried to call Heartman, but it fell through. After waiting four minutes, you tried again. Still no dice. So, then you went to Sam’s contact… You hovered your thumb over the call button for a good five minutes, of two minds over calling him.

In the end, Cliff woke up violently before you made a decision, rolling onto his hands and vomiting slimy, black beach sludge everywhere. Euch. Smelled like rotting seaweed. Now this cave was double-gross.

You backed up from him, just to give him space, but as soon as you shifted and made a noise, you were met with a pistol in your face. You shrieked and recoiled, falling clumsily onto your ass.

He was in perfect shooting posture, still as a statue.

You didn’t move, heartbeat pounding in your ears and drowning out the wind outside. You blinked hard to keep yourself from seeing a mask instead of a bloody, confused face. There was a long, tense pause, before recognition bloomed in his eyes and he slowly lowered the gun to his side.

He didn’t let it go, though.

And you were crying.

“What are you doing here?” He rasped, disbelief coloring his voice. You weren’t sure if he was quiet because his throat was sore or if he didn’t want anyone to hear the two of you. You found you didn’t really care one way or another, you felt like were were going to shake yourself apart.

You swallowed, still eyeing the gun and not answering. He finally holstered it after ejecting a round from the chamber. Had it been racked the whole time? You hadn’t even noticed it on his belt! You were such an idiot!

“I’m sorry for the gun. I thought you were the thieves that shot me.” He held out his hands in a placating manner. “Are you alright?”

Yes, you were safe and you should be the one asking him if he was alright.

No, you were on the verge of a massive fucking panic attack.

You were both okay and not okay.

But you nod anyway, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “Never. Do that. Again.” You said in the most authoritative voice you could muster. It was still pathetic and shaky, but the point got through nonetheless. You were freaking the fuck out.

He looked sorry, though, he really did. And when he spoke, his voice was soft. “I would never dream of it.” He held out a hand to help you up. You took it. “I don’t make a habit of pointing guns at friends.”

“Good,” You gave him a wobbly smile. “‘Cause then I would have to kick your ass.”

That got a laugh from him, at least. “So, what are you doing here? I didn’t think you’re the type to steal from random, unconscious men.” If he noticed his legs were wracked with tremors, he didn’t act like it. He’d lost a lot of blood - not everything was back to normal yet. You didn’t like the thought of leaving him alone like this.

“I was looking for a lost porter when I found you. Made sure you weren’t bleeding out or something.” You said, trying to keep your voice light.

It was funny, that was how you’d met on the beach, too.

“I thought I had hidden myself rather well, but I guess blood loss will do that.” He looked down.

There was an awkward moment.

“You’re lucky it was me that found you and not someone else,” You look outside again, anything else but his face. “Anyone else would have stolen your cargo.” You licked your lips awkwardly. “Do you have a base camp set up or do you need to crash somewhere?”

He started gathering his things. “No thank you, I really have to be moving on,” He glances at you for a moment with a sad smile. “Thank you for caring, though.”

Oh no, he wasn’t. You had to stop him from leaving. You knew to the core of your soul that if you let him go now, you would never see him again.

“I’m a friend of Sam’s.” You blurt out, before immediately flushing. You’d sounded a lot more panicked than you meant to.

It worked, though, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around with a heartbreakingly soft look on his face, like he was afraid to get his hopes up. You could feel the relief come off him all at once from where you stood. “You know my son?”

God, that sappy look on his face was going to kill you. You nodded and looked away, hugging yourself. You felt like someone else was ten times more qualified to tell him all this, like you were intruding on something private. But you were the one there.

“He lives out by Mountain Knot City with Louise.” You looked back at him for a moment before looking away again. “His daughter he adopted in spring.”

He broke out into a grin, entire face lighting up. “Really?”

This was too much, seriously. If he started crying then you would start crying and there were more important things you had to do than cry.

You were already blinking back tears when you answered him. But that smile was contagious, and you started smiling, too. You felt like you couldn’t help yourself. “Yeah, really. She was his BB. Saved his life, too. And he saved her right back. He’s been keeping a low profile, though.” You double checked no one was listening, and turned off your comm just to be safe. “He disobeyed an executive order to do it, too. Die-Hardman has ignored it for now, but if other people knew and started asking questions…” You shook your head and sighed. You didn’t need to elaborate on bad PR forcing Sam to be arrested or something. Can’t show preferential treatment to people committing treason or whatever. “I can call him, if you want.”

Cliff nodded and looked out at the landscape, looking somewhere between wistful and upset. “Yes, please.” Both of you ignored the way his voice broke.

He levels you with a calculating gaze suddenly, as if just now thinking of something. “You’re not with Bridges, are you?”

“No, I’m not. I try to stay away from them, actually.” You shrugged, acting more relaxed than you were. “They have a bad habit of listening in on conversations.”

It seemed like that was the answer he wanted. “Can you call Sam, then?”

You nodded and pulled up the call.

And it went straight to voicemail. Were he and Heartman messing with you?

Damnit.

You sigh and put your hands on your hips. “Listen, Cliff. Sam doesn’t answer unregistered IDs. I can leave him a message and try calling him back later, but if you try to call him yourself he probably won’t answer.”

“I don’t have a comm, anyway. But I can go find him now. And meet my grand-daughter. Thank you.” He rested a hand on your shoulder for a moment, before turning away.

Was he seriously trying to leave again?

“Are you seriously just going to leave and walk there all by yourself?” You speed-walked after him - he was way ahead of you already. You cursed his long legs. “You don’t have and Odradek! Or supplies, or even a tent!”

“I’ve been fine so far, y/n.” His tone was dismissive, like he was a teenager waving of his mom’s concerns. The nerve of him! You weren’t going to be waved off! There were easier and faster ways across the continent than walking off by yourself with almost no supplies.

You planted your feet and crossed your arms. He wasn’t going to be this stupid, was he? You knew he knew better than this. “Can you tell where BTs are? Do you know where to hide and how to avoid them? Have a weather map? Know the locals and how to negotiate with MULE camps - which ones even can be negotiated with? Do you know the mountains like you know yourself? Because I do. And going out alone without GPS and comms is just stupid.”

“No,” He stopped, turning to you. He didn’t even look insulted! Did this guy fancy himself invincible just because he’s a repatriate? “But it doesn’t matter; I’m going to see my son. I’m not stopping now that I finally know where my family is.”

“I’m not trying to stop you,” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’m suggesting that you could stay for a few hours. I can call Sam as many times as I need to to get through to him. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been looking for so long, but if you rush into this you could cause a Voidout, even if you repatriate, and people will end up dead because you were impatient. So either you cool your jets and wait while I make dinner, or I follow you across the damn Rockies and be a general nuisance.” . You really didn’t want to follow through with that threat, but whatever. You would do it. “Besides, there’s a friend of mine that can take us there almost instantly, if she has the time to visit. Then you wouldn’t even have to risk the trip.”

It only took a moment’s hesitation before he looked away, seeming miffed, but he relented anyway. “How could I say no to a warm meal.” He said, as if the food was what convinced him to stay and not the possibility that the month-long trip through the mountains could be completely skipped.

It took the rest of the hike back home to work up your nerve and speak. “Look, Cliff…” You sigh as you approach your shelter. “Do you like. Need to crash on my couch for a few days? I have plenty of food, you can use my shower, I can get some clothes that aren’t, like. Super bloody. I keep supplies on hand for wanderers that might need them.”

You focused or unlocking your crazy number of locks instead of looking at him, a flush taking over your face and ears. You tried not to make assumptions, and it would be really embarrassing if he took your offer as an insult, but Cliff looked… rough. Judging by how Sam handles things, he would refuse you out of politeness alone. Something about not wanting to be a burden. You looked back at him, your lips pursed in thought.

You opened the door, speaking up again. “You’re definitely changing your clothes, actually. I traded a lot of good shit for my furniture and I don’t need blood on it.” There was no room for argument here.

At least now he was laughing. “You’re too kind, thank you. I promise I’ll be just the one night, really, I’d hate to impose.”

Called it.

You showed him the bathroom and pulled out some simple, soft, black clothes for him. You were paranoid, yes, but you always made a point to keep extra everything in case anyone nearby was injured or needed help. You hadn’t used them since you made your new shelter, though. “It’s no imposition, really. My nickname with porters is the Innkeeper,” You rolled your eyes at the nickname. “Stiched up a good number of folks in my time and sat through blizzards with a few more.” You smiled at him, hoping to make him feel welcome. “Besides, Sam would kill me if he got here and you were already gone.”

You would have pat him on the shoulder on your way out, but he was still covered in an obscene amount of blood, and you didn’t need that on you. Especially not on your hands. Ich. So instead you settled for a simple “Don’t use all the hot water,” as you left.

In the hallway back to the main room, Rocky came up to you, chirruping impatiently. You scooped him up and held on to him for a minute, letting him calm you down. His soft fur and rhythmic purring grounded you. You knew you were being silly, but you were a rubber band ball of anxiety, threatening to snap. Cliff was a good man. You knew that. Sam had told you about his memories when you had brought gifts for Lou. You knew this. He had died saving him. He was a goofy dancer who loved christmas and space and sang lullabies.

Didn’t stop your hands from shaking, though.

You didn’t let people in your shelter anymore, not even your parents.

But for Sam, you would deal with your shitty mind for the night.

So you sat down at your computer, opening up your usual programs. There was only way you would calm down anytime soon and you knew it.

You checked your own video feeds first. No-one outside your local shelter group was in the area. Everyone’s phone pinged back with the normal list of IDs. Your perimeter was fine - It had only seen you for the past week, and then Cliff this afternoon.

Next was the Bridges security feeds. You tapped into the full network of cameras and ran a facial recognition search for about the hundred millionth time in eight months. Higgs, last time the cameras had seen him, was still just hanging out past the tar belt with a bunch of MULEs two weeks ago. Yukking it up with a bunch of thieves.

He didn’t look miserable, which made your blood boil. But he wasn’t anywhere near you and that’s the important part. You were safe for now. There was no way he could make it across the tar belt and all the way out here in that time, right? And besides, his beef wouldn’t be with you. He had no reason to ever come back here.

But your gut churned even in the presence of cold hard facts. You felt like you were gonna puke.

Trauma was a real son of a bitch.

Still, the probably-unhealthy surveillance had reassured your safety. That was what mattered. Your trembling hand hovered over your scar for a moment, not daring to touch it.

Making dinner would be a welcome distraction. Guests always were.

Cliff was hesitant to accept your offer, at first.

He knew this was the smart way to go about things. Getting to Sam was his priority, even if he had to risk trusting you. Which was hard, even if he considered you a friend.

Friends had stabbed him in the back before.

He hadn’t trusted anybody since he woke up next to the lake, freezing in the early spring winds, with nothing, not even clothes on his back.

Going to Bridges had been out of the picture - it didn’t matter who was in charge now. He had no idea what to expect of them - if they were just as untrustworthy as before. He wasn’t willing to stake his life on the chance that the company had changed. He wasn’t trusting them a second time.

So he stayed alone, chasing rumors of his legendary son and where he had disappeared off to. But he was a ghost. As soon as he came across someone who knew him, they just as quickly told him they had no idea where he was. With the UCA you would think these people would know how to find each other, but apparently the public didn’t have access to location records, and Sam had kept himself off the map.

He had been close to caving and finding John when you had found him, roughed up and shot at by MULEs after his measly supplies. He was a good soldier and knew how to pick his battles, but they’d had a truck and a seemingly endless amount of bullets.

He’d only had a handgun.

So he would stay with you, for now, and find is son, and then everything would be okay. You didn’t seem the type to betray him. (But then again, neither had Bridget, until she had.)

But he had enjoyed your visits when he was trapped on the beach. He had been so desperately lonely and then you were there, with soft smiles and corny jokes and you let him tell you about the stars. You kept him sane in purgatory.

And here you were again, saving him, and he was still just trying to find his son.

And he was still horribly, terribly alone.

A/N:

Cliff’s Alive! Yay! Get ready for a wild ride guys, cause I’m just getting started! Who knew a Kojima game would end up being my muse, huh? I sure didn’t. This was my first week of the new semester so I didn’t get to write as much as I wanted but I’ve gotten at least some more stuff on the master doc. I hope you guys enjoyed it, don’t forget to R&R!

Edit:Removed mention of M/C’s parents.

@paanchu786

#cliff unger #death stranding #death stranding cliff #death stranding x reader #mads mikkelsen #x reader #l'appel du vide #longfic

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sl-walker · 5 years ago

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Preview

"Don't look at me, I don't know what's going on, either," Brody said, scratching at his now-trimmed beard, his other hand wrapped around a big mug of caf. To their right, rain sheeted down the giant palace windows in the gray morning light, and up ahead was the conference room where they had been requested to attend a meeting.

Shiv grunted back an agreement; he was more awake than Brody because Dani was sticking around for the rest of their time on Alderaan, and waking up with her was both a pleasure and an athletic experience, but he was definitely feeling that ground-in exhaustion that came with piled-up crises. He wasn't sure why they had been summoned -- and why it wasn't the whole squad -- but he had a feeling it probably had to do with Maul, and as such, Shiv would most definitely be attending.

It had been two days since they buried Rabbit, and those two days had been largely spent trying to realign their view of the universe around the death of one of their own and the transfer of another. Tally spent a lot of it with Zan, and with Queen Breha's nephew Dek; Castle, Husk, Misty, Brody and Smarty had gone out the night before to explore Aldera. Tango, surprisingly, spent time with the Queen, kind of camping in her office when he wasn't busy; Raze, too, though he was also pretty glued to Maul's side otherwise.

And Shiv spent it around the palace, bouncing between Dani, his squad and Maul.

(Dani had gotten a hug from Castle. And from Raze. And several questions from Smarty about Zeltron culture and her empathic resonance, which she answered with humor and grace. It had made Shiv smile and feel proud, though he wasn't sure why.)

Rancor's transfer orders -- still within Croft's 332nd, but a different unit -- had come through and he was leaving the next morning. In the end, Shiv had helped Maul handle that part of things, but Maul had done most of the work requesting it himself; they had sat with a datapad, Shiv keeping their shoulders together, and when it was done and they transmitted it, he pressed his brow to Maul's temple for long moments, a silent reminder that whatever happened, they were in it together.

He still knew that it hurt; Maul was so quiet that it was worrying everyone, but he was healing and he was still breathing, so Shiv refused to let go of the faith he would continue to. And in the meantime, he himself found as many moments as he could to remind Maul that he wasn't alone in this, and knew everyone else was doing the same.

Now, they rounded a slow curve and found Tally waiting outside of the conference room, looking annoyingly awake. "It's a good thing there's a caf maker in there, isn't it?" he asked, smirking at them in their drowsy state.

"Yep," Brody just answered, saluting with his mug as he passed Tally and headed into the room.

Tally looked back over his shoulder, the smirk softening to a smile, then looked back at Shiv, who had paused there in an attempt to mentally prepare himself for whatever was coming. "Bail's going to comm in when we ping him. Did you hear that the Military Leave Act passed? It was closer than anyone sane is comfortable with, but it finally passed late last night on the second try."

"Yeah, Dani told me," Shiv said, rubbing his eyes and finally straightening up. "I'm guessing this is gonna be about Bail's plan?"

"Yeah." Tally's look went pensive anew, and he fidgeted there; Shiv wondered if his sharp-eyed alertness was him taking stims again, but figured it was probably just nerves. "I don't know how I feel about Maul not being here, because even though we're only talking chances and possibilities, it's about him, but--"

"But you're worried that it's too much to put on him right now," Shiv finished, after Tally trailed off.

Tally nodded, mouth going straight.

"I think that if we feel the need to, we can always call him," Shiv said, after several moments where he thought about it. He tended to have a pretty high amount of faith in Maul's ability to stand up under even a nigh-impossible burden, but he also knew that Tally had his own reasons to worry and they were informed and legitimate. "We won't know right now, anyway, so--"

Tally blew a breath out, then nodded. "Yeah," he said, turning back to head into the room. "Well, c'mon, Smarty's been practically gnawing on the table since he got here."

Shiv followed; he was definitely curious about the roster attending. Smarty was their research genius and Brody was their slicer, and what both of those had to do with this yet-unknown plan wasn't hard to get a feel for, but it implied a pretty wide effort. Sitting at the table was Tally's crush -- even if Tally hadn't figured it out yet -- and Queen Breha's nephew, who looked to be no older than Rabbit had been, and unsurprisingly, Frayus was there, too.

Medical and technical. And me, he thought wryly, as he found a chair and settled into it, looking around and offering a bit of a grin. "This everyone?"

"Yeah." Tally sat down again, picking up the datapad he had sitting on the table and taking another deep breath as he interfaced it with the holoprojector on the table. Immediately, the crest of House Organa popped up, and Tally asked, "Have you guys ever heard of Spaarti Creations?"

Shiv hadn't. And apparently Brody hadn't.

But it seemed Smarty had, because his eyes went saucer wide and he breathed out, "Oh shit."

#shiv #tally #blackbirds: year one #witness me

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japaneseapple · 5 years ago

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tweentynineteen.

the last year of 10′s decade.

The last rotation kept me busy, got no time to write a recap, but Ive plenty of time now, here I go.

I started this year by a Bali trip with my friends. that trip was one of a kind for, the last vacation I had before handling koas life, it was the best one. 4 days 3 nights to remember for a lifetime. The kind of experience being young and dumb. Whenever we reminiscence those Bali days theres just laughter of heartwarming yet dumb memories we made, the reaction will remain the same until we’re old and being a specialist/konsulen in the future.

One perfect word to describe this year: koas/clinical year. This phase shall pass. Good to be memorized but not to be repeated as they said. I’ve learned a lot. not only medical knowledge, but also life lessons. Here’s a few moments:

Surgery: I will forever remember my first nightshift ever as a medical student who never touched a patient in her lifetime. It was 2 a.m, I was scared when I was told to insert an iv line on a severe head injury patient with seizure, can you imagine?! finally the patient was quite stable and sedated, but still it was my first time so i was scared as hell. I was doing it slowly, the neurosurgery residents were impatient with my slowmotion move so they told me “dek panggil perawat ya, perawat, suster, S-U-S-T-E-R!” after the nurse came, the resident come to me and he said “dek, kita ini kerjanya harus cepet. kita dikejer sama waktu, urusannya nyawa.”. I learned that, I have to move fast, think fast, do no harm, otherwise might lose the patient. If it were me today, I would have been braver to face the patient.

Anesthesia: my first time ever perform CPR on a real patient then witness someone died with my own eyes. It was weird and frustating as I watched the family members crying by the patient side, so I realized as a doctor we tried our best to treat our patient but death is an unavoidable fate.

There some moments when I feel that “I’m so dumb, there’s so much that I don’t know”. As time goes by instead of feeling down because of feeling dumb, I learn that I’d rather make mistakes in front of preceptors and look dumb infront of them as my teachers, instead of make those stupid mistake in front of my patient.

About love, still no luck, same as always. wont write a long paragraph about this, cause i wrote in the last 2 posts, pretty much sums it up, speaking about love + faith and fate and mr. secret admirer.

2020 simple wish for this year: I want everyone to be healthy. Finish my study and be a good doctor.

xo, N

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queen-of-lazuroth · 5 years ago

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Gemini

[ @dib-adrift @chances-r-high @son-of-an-invader @zimerstellar ]

Midge and Dib were cuddled up watching a movie, enjoying rare lazy day. They were happy to have their mates and son back, and glad they’d managed to complete that mission without some sort of intergalactic incident. Interdimensional? Eh, who knew really.

Midge hadn’t been feeling particularly well that day. Her lower back was killing her and felt just altogether run down. She hoped she wasn’t getting sick. With the pregnancy that was definitely not something she needed right now.

Then it happened. A sharp pain like someone had suddenly stabbed her lower abdomen. She cried out a little, surprised by the sudden jolt.

“Midge?” Dib asked, giving her a look of concern.

Midge was about to brush off his concern. They’d had several false alarms, so it wouldn’t surprise her if this was one of them. But then the pain happened again. worse this time. Already she felt like something was different from her other pregnancies. Something...something was wrong.

Midge took hold of Dib’s hand, looking at him seriously. “Call Chance.” There was no hesitation, no thought about what he could be doing.

Dib didn’t ask questions. His gold eye shone with extreme concern and he leaned over and kissed her. “Okay. I’ll call him. Just...just hold on, okay?”

“Tell him to teleport immediately,” Midge added on as Dib pulled away. She cried out again, this time the feeling making her eyes water. “Please.”

“You got it. Right away.”

000000000000

Chance was about to slam his face into the desk in front of him. If he had to listen to this person drone anymore about budget increases that didn’t need to happen by any means, he was going to lose his mind. He felt his communicator buzz, his brow furrowing. It was from one of his father-in-laws.

Stellar Dib: Call me. Midge needs you. I think the babies are coming.

His eyes widened as he gasped. That seemed to gain the room’s attention, effectively cutting off the boring speaker. He stood up. “I’m sorry this meeting will have to be postponed.”

“High Chancellor this is an important fiscal meeting,” one of the other senators spoke up.

Chance glared at her. “And I have a family emergency. We’ll continue this another day.” And with that made his way out of the room, rushing to a nearby teleporter. He’d tell Addie later. No need to worry her.

He arrived at the Palace of Lazuroth soon after that, only to be accosted by Dek upon arrival.

“Do you know what’s going on?” the hybrid asked, looking completely frantic. “She’s in pain. Well, she’s in labor, but she says this feels worse. Much worse.”

“Dek,” Chance said, adopting a calming demeanor. “I have to check her over first to know what’s going on. Okay?”

Dek nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

Chance made his way to the master bedroom, finding Midge practically curled on herself. This most definitely didn’t look like how she was with Drun. “Midge?”

“Oh. Fancy meeting you here, High Chancellor,” Midge said, forcing a smile right before nearly screeching in pain. “I think these buppies hate me.”

Dib would’ve made a comment if he weren’t so worried. He looked up at Chance. “I’m guessing she’s in labor? I’m...what’s happening.”

Chance pulled out his scanner, waving over the other doctor. His brow furrowed. Well, shit. “You’re blood pressure is dangerously high. Also one of the twins is breech. You appear to suffering almost severe preeclampsia.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Midge...we need to do a C-section. It’s the safest route.”

“No,” Dek suddenly blurted.

Zim squinted at him. “What do you mean ‘no?’”

Dek shuffled for a moment his eyes meeting Midge’s. Midge, of course, knew what his reservations were. His mother had had a difficult birth with him and had needed a C-section. There was a complication that caused her to bleed out. So, it wasn’t too out there for Dek to feel the way he did.

“It’s fine, Dek,” Midge told him, offering a reassuring smile.

Chance nodded. “I’ll take good care of her. Where’s your medical team?”

“I’ll get them going,” Zim said. He then walked over to Midge and kissed her forehead. “Be strong, me rietna.” And then he rushed out of the room.

“Thank you,” Chance said. “I’ll get prepped for surgery.”

“Are you sure?” Midge asked, wincing. “I know you’re busy.”

“I wouldn’t have come if I wasn’t,” Chance told her, taking one of her hands and kissing it. “I’m not too busy for this.”

The medical team came swiftly, loading Midge onto a stretcher. Everyone winced at her sounds of pain. It was obvious she was trying not to cry. They followed her up until she was in the medical wing, where Chance made to excuse himself to prep but stopped. He turned and looked at all three of Midge’s mates. Dib had moved to wrap his arms around Dek from behind, burying his face in the hybrid’s shoulder. Zim stood close as well, taking one of Dek’s hands into his own.

“They’ll be fine,” he reassured them. “All three of them.”

Zim nodded. “Thank you, Chance.” Dib nodded in agreement.

Dek said nothing, simply giving Chance a pleading look. Don’t fail us. Please don’t fail us.

Chance gave one last nod. Before proceeding prep for the surgery.

000000000

The first part of the C-section went fairly routine and simply. The breech smeet was taken out first, the boy it seemed. He looked a little like Drun had, with a tuft of white hair and antennae. When he opened his eyes Chance took note that they were bright bubblegum pink. He’d seen pictures on Dek’s Vortian mother. He must have gotten them that way.

“Welp, there’s Rían Miguel,” Chance announced over the sound the smeets loud cries.

Midge laughed, feeling a little better now that there was a epidural in her and she was feeling none of the pain she was before. “Why do I feel like he’s gonna be trouble?”

“They probably both are. You named them after the Glitters,” Chance said, going in for the girl. It almost seemed like she didn’t want to come out, and when she finally did she screamed as if Chance had actually hurt her in some way. She looked a little like Addie and Ada, with the tiniest horns sticking out of her hair, until Chance also notice antennae as well. Huh. Interesting. Her eyes were also surprising. One was a dark emerald green while the other was a bold cerulean blue. “And there’s baby number two. Ruby, right?”

“Ruby Amaranthe,” Midge answered. She sounded almost out of breath. Weird. She blinked. The room was spinning. “Chance...I’m dizzy.”

Chance’s brow furrowed as he handed Ruby to one of the attendants. He then looked back at the incision. That...was not the amount of blood he was expecting.

“Her BP is dropping!” One of the other doctors shouted.

Chance barely heard the beeps, a panic suddenly setting in. Midge had lost consciousness, she was bleeding out. She was...no. Focus. Breathe. “Get me a blood transfusion ready to go as soon as possible,” he ordered as he searched for the source of the hemorrhage.

Don’t give up on us, Midge. Don’t do this.

0000000000

Meanwhile, Dek, Dib and Zim were waiting out in the hall for whatever news they could come by. Dek hadn’t stop pacing since Midge had been wheeled into the Med Bay. Zim had given up trying to get him to sit down. Dib sat next to Zim, his knee bouncing up and down.

Chance came out into the hall. He was shaking, but trying to keep some sort of composure. He swallowed hard as he faced the three men in front of him.

Dek immediately stopped pacing, grabbing Chance by the shoulders and shaking him. “How is she? What’s going on? Where are our smeets.”

Dib took a moment to gently pull Dek back. “What’s the update.”

Chance swallowed. “The smeets are fine. For the most part the C-section went of without a hitch-.”

“For the most part?” Dek asked, panic coloring his tone.

Chance sighed. “She started hemorrhaging. We’ve stopped the bleeding and secured a blood transfusion but she’s still being heavily monitored. But...so far so good.”

Dek frowned. “...You’re saying she’s not out of the woods yet.”

"I’m saying...we’re not taking an chances.” He wouldn’t admit that Dek’s words were probably more accurate.

Dib wrapped his arms around Dek, a gesture to give comfort as much as receive it. His chest felt tight. “She’ll get through this, Dek,” Dib told him. “She’s the toughest gal we know.”

Zim also gave Dek’s forearm a comforting squeeze. The hybrid had told them why he was so worried, and it was completely understandable. He also gave Dek’s arm a little nuzzle before turning back to Chance. “May we see her?”

Chance shook his head. “Not yet. Maybe once she’s in a better state. However, if you want, you can see you smeets.”

The three of them exchanged looks before seeming to come to a consensus. They most definitely wanted to see the new smeets. Chance led them down the hall to another room. There were a couple of cribs in there with attendants hovering over them. They then took the smeets out, hand them to the fathers. Dek held Rían first, smiling when he say his eye color. “He has my mother’s eyes.”

Dib nodded as he took Ruby, who immediately wanted to grab at his goggles and hair. “Hey, watch it, mija,” he said playfully.

Zim scooted closer, holding out his hand for little Rían to hold. He smiled. “They are beautiful, Dek. They are every bit yours and Midge’s.”

Dek shook his head. “They’re all of ours,” he said, leaning down and kissing Zim softly. He then gave Dib a quick kiss on the cheek as well. “Blood does not make a family after all.”

Zim nodded. They had seen that first hand with Fox, as he had come back with them instead of staying with his biological parents.

Chance couldn’t agree more. “Ain’t that the truth,” he said. “We’ll leave you alone for a bit. I’m going to check on Midge.”

As he left Dek looked back down at the twins. Their children. He couldn’t help how he tensed. There was no question that he loved both Dib and Zim dearly, that he would do anything for them. Losing any of the would kill him, but Midge...

“She will be fine, Dek,” Zim reassured his mate, noticing the look on his face. “She will return to us.”

Dib nodded in agreement, nuzzling against Dek’s face. He then smiled at Zim. “Here, hold this wild rascal.”

Before Zim could protest, Ruby was practically shoved into his arms. He managed to get a hold of himself and the smeet., bouncing the child up down. “Are you a rascal, kismek? Is your Pápa correct.”

Ruby simply cooed in reply.

Dek watched the display with a small smile. He looked back down at Rían, leaning down and touching his forehead to the smeet’s. Rían grabbed Dek’s face with both his little hands, grunting curiously.

He had to have faith. Midge had been through far worst than this. She would come through like she always did.

He had to have faith.

#|Gemini|#tw blood #tw blood loss #tw childbirth #tw medical #tw surgery

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son-of-an-invader · 6 years ago

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[ @son-of-an-invader @queen-of-lazuroth @dib-adrift @zimerstellar ]

It didn’t take long for Zim to figure out how to get around the Metallah. It was a large ship, rivalling the size of the Massive, but the set up was just a bit different and there were more rooms. But once he’d figured out where the important places were - the food court, the Med Bay, his quarters, which wasn’t far from Midge and Dek’s. He’d also come familiar with one particular computer room, where he’d find himself helping Dek with tracking the missing Glitterverse. It had become almost routine by now. Wake up. Go visit Dib. Talk to Midge about medical updates. And also other nonsense (like how they both enjoyed sweets and how Midge loved to cook and bake). Go help Dek for a bit. Go hang out with Dib for lunch. Back to chatting with Midge. Returning to Dek and staying until dinner, when he’d typically have to drag the hybrid out so he would eat and go spend time with his wife. However, after a day or two Zim began to wonder if Dek was eating and sleeping at all. He wasn’t sure why he felt so concerned for him ( for both of the Denivars, really) but he wasn’t one to question his instincts. They had gotten him this far in life, no? So today Zim showed up to the tracking room with a plate of food, enough for two people. He sat it down on a counter near Dek. “Zim has brought food stuffs, Captain,” he announced proudly. “You should eat something.” Dek gave a shrug. “I’m not hungry.” Zim frowned. “Midge-thing says she has not seen you eat since the Glitterverse disappeared. You cannot track them on an empty stomach.” He got closer and observed the hybrids features, seeing dark circles already under his eyes. Just as he feared. “Are you even sleeping at all?” “What are you, my mother?” Dek huffed. “I’m fine. Are you going to sit down and help me today or not?” Zim gave an irritated chitter before stomping over to the hybrid. “Captain, do not make Zim shove this food down your throat,” he threatened. And he had every intention of following through. Dek looked up at him, his mouth drawn into a thin line. He shouldn’t be taking breaks. He shouldn’t be sleeping. He needed to be right here, in front of this screen searching for their friends. His family… However one look at the food that Zim had brought had his stomach growling. It looked like Midge had made his favorite. “…Fine. Just for a bit.” Zim grinned victoriously, moving the tray to a place where they could sit down and eat comfortably. He dug in first, his eyes widening like saucers. “Your Midge is…rather impressive in the kitchen.” Dek didn’t miss the expression, how Zim looked so surprised and enamored with the food so quickly. He would admit to himself - but never out loud - that it was rather cute. “She is. Best cook in the galaxy, honestly.” Zim nodded, continuing to eat. There was a silence that dragged on for a bit. It was unpleasant or uncomfortable. It was just…there… Then, finally, Zim could help his curiosity no longer. “Will you tell me about him?” Dek rose a brow. “Who?” “Zim,” Zim replied tentatively. “Your Zim. Your brother.” Dek froze for a moment at the question. He almost wondered why Stellar Zim wanted to know, but quickly brushed that away. It wasn’t the first time one Zim was curious about another. “He’s…possibly the epitome of an annoying little brother,” Dek explained, a fond smile playing on his features. “He likes to fill my desk draws with glitter or leave me shiny stickers on my computer consoles. But he’s also…sweet. And brave.” He looked up sheepishly. “And, no offense, but he is my favorite Zim.” Dek pointed at the Irken in front of him with his fork. “Don’t tell him I said that.” Zim snorted. “I supposed that is fair. He is your brother, after all.” Then, he smirked. “But for your offense, rest assured I will tell him what you said.” “Jerk,” Dek said, but there was no heat behind his voice. There was a small pause, not as long as before. When Dek spoke again he was nervous. “Technically…he’s not my Zim. I mean if…your Dib is…mine and Midge’s Dib. That would mean you’re our Zim, right?” Zim hummed. “I suppose that makes sense.” He honestly wasn’t sure why that really mattered. It was obvious that this Glitter Zim - all the Glitters really - meant a great deal to Dek. Why else would he skip on eating and sleeping to try to find them? Then again, perhaps Dek was like that for anyone he cared about. He did risk quite a bit to go after Dib. And Zim was certain he would have done that even if Addie hadn’t been a factor. “All the same, he sounds like a lot of fun. But perhaps Zim is biased.” Dek snorted, nibbling a bit more on his food. His brow furrowed for just a moment and he looked up at Zim. “You’re…rather different, you know that?” Dek explained. “I mean…the same in many ways, still a Zim by all means. But…you’re also very…calm.” “What are you talking about? Zim is always calm,” Zim argued. “Now if you mean to say I am far more SUPERIOR and AMAZING compared to other Zims, that is simply because I have perfected my me.” He grinned a little. “Tch. What caused that, I have to wonder,” Dek said. “Couldn’t possibly be your mate or anything.” Zim blushed a little, but tried to keep up his bravado. “No, of course not. Don’t be silly, Captain. And it sounds like it won’t be long until Dib is your mate as well. If he is not already.” Even in the hybrid, Zim could tell the Irken instincts were strong. And once Irkens wanted something, it was as good as theirs. Dek flushed. He had to admit that was a great counter. “I…I wouldn’t use that word just yet. I don’t want him to feel pressured or anything.” He was now poking at his food. He’d been careful about that word with Midge, too. At least until she accepted her Orok. Zim shrugged. “I don’t think he feels any of those things. He seems very taken with both of you. And I can speak from experience that Dib is as loyal as they come. He does not let go of what he cares for easily.” “I know,” Dek said, looking right at Zim. “He was still searching for you after he found us, by the way. Or at least for an explanation as to what happened to your universe.” “And now he would do the same for you and the Midge-doctor,” Zim replied with a nod. “He is the best Dib ever. But, again, I am quite biased.” Dek managed a small chuckle. “I think we all have our favorites. I think the only situation I don’t is with my children. Can’t bring myself to do that.” Zim had only met one of the Denivar offspring, but if the rest of them were just as extreme as Addie, he wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. He would also wonder how Midge and Dek handled such children. “…They just became parents,” Dek suddenly said. He’d stop touching his food, simply staring at it. The look in his eyes was comparable to disgust. “Purple and Mika had just had Alexx. And then there’s Miguel…he wasn’t…isn’t that old. Dib and Red were so excited. Keef, too. He loved that kid like he was his own. He was his own. And Zim…he was still getting used to the idea of being a father but…he loves his son. He loves him.” Dek suddenly set his utensils down and pushed the remaining food away. “I should get back to work.” Zim sighed. Well, a few minutes was better than nothing. He, too, took a moment to push his food away so he could take his place to help. He honestly hoped beyond hope that he was wrong. That the Glitterverse was just…missing. Something that could be found. But deep in this spooch he knew. He knew the truth that was glaring them right in the face. The truth that Dek refused to grasp. “You didn’t have to stop on my account,” Dek told Zim. “Zim doesn’t need much nourishment. My PAK still needs some upgrades, but it is not as defective as it once was.” No thanks to his own Tallests. “Two heads are better than one, yes?” Dek stared at him for a moment, but then nodded. “Yeah. Thank you.” “You helped save my…our Dib’s life, Captain. And you and the Midge have been very kind to Zim. So Zim will pay that back in any way he can.”

00000000

“Zim?” Zim didn’t sleep. Sometimes he would go into a deep stasis to recharge, but he was always aware of his surroundings when it happened. Still vulnerable. But not as much as the human who typically slept beside him. Who, apparently, was not sleeping. “Yes, my Dib.” “…I can’t sleep,” Dib said, his voice sounding hesitant. “That is obvious, my Dib. But Zim wishes to know why.” He had a feeling as to why, but he wanted Dib to say it. Dib snuggled close to Zim, burying his face in the Irken’s shoulder. “Do you mind if we…go sleep with Dek and Midge? I’ve just…I’ve been so worried about them. I know they have each other but I can’t help but feel like they need other people, too.” Zim gave Dib a confused look. “Zim does not mind you staying with Midge and Dek tonight, but aren’t you bound to the Med Bay? And why are you inviting Zim?” “They took my I.V’s out today. And I honestly don’t think Midge and Dek would kick me out. Also, as for you, I don’t think they would mind. They seem to like you.” Zim gave him a skeptical look. “I do not believe the Captain likes Zim very much.” “Nah. He likes you. He’s just a tsundere.” Zim rose a brow. “Eh?” “A tsundere.” “Dib what has Zim said about making up words?” “You’re PAK automatically translates everything for you so you know they’re not made up words. Actually all words are made up, if you really think about it.” “You are doing the rambles again, my Dib.” Not that he really minded. “Look. He likes you. He just has a habit of pretending not to like people he cares about. Midge said when he was courting her that one minute he would be helping her clean up a room or something and the next he was starting arguments over whether a rug was orange or pink.” “…Are you suggesting that Dek is attempting to court me?” Zim’s stomach gave a flip at the thought. Which he completely ignored. “No? Wait…I don’t know. Listen my point is that he does like you. He’s just dumb about showing his softer side.” A goofy grin appeared on Dib’s face. “You should see him with his kids. He’s so soft and sweet and gentle with them.” Zim gave Dib a sweet smile. A long time ago he never thought he’d be okay with Did being in love with someone else, but seeing him so happy made Zim feel so warm inside. Dib was just full of love to give, and of course Zim knew that Dib didn’t love him any less. “I’m sure it is a sight to behold, my Dib.” “It really is,” said Dib. He reached for Zim’s hand and began tugging him along. “Now, come on, Space Boy.” Zim sighed. Of course he wished to be around Dib as much as possible - he’d hardly left his side since they were reunited - but he didn’t wish to intrude on him and his new mates (at this point he refused to believe it wouldn’t come to that). However, he followed Dib across the hall to the Denivar’s quarters, linger at the door once they had quietly entered. “You should be in bed,” Midge mumbled, her voice heavy with sleep. Zim was happy to see Dek here as well, though he didn’t speak nor move from his spot . Neither of them asked why Zim was here, yet he still didn’t come forward. “Figured you wouldn’t mind more company,” Dib said, wasting no time crawling into the bed and snuggling next to Midge’s other side.He looked back at Zim with a bright smile. “Come on, Zim.” Zim was usually very good at hiding his insecurities, but right now he felt like he was forcing himself into somewhere he didn’t belong. “Zim isn’t sure…” “Zim,” Dek said, finally speaking for the first time since Dib and Zim had entered the room. “Just come here.” He scooted over just a bit, making a space between him and Midge. Zim hesitated for just a bit longer before slowly making his way to the spot. Midge offered him a big smile as Dek wrapped his arms around all three of them. Or at least tried, his hand stopping at Dib’s arm which was also wrapped around the two smaller ones. Zim shifted, but it wasn’t long before he felt comfortable. Content even. As if…this was something he hadn’t even known he’d been looking for. It wasn’t long until they were all peacefully asleep.

#✨ the Stellars ✨

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