#Deidara: I regret the day I met you.

[ladykissingfish]

Tobi: Senpai, can we get a horse?

Deidara: A horse?? For what?

Tobi: So that we could name him “Mayo”!

Deidara: First of all, you KNOW that Kakuzu would have a heart attack if we asked him for the money to buy a horse, hm. He had a fit when I asked him for a kitten! And second, why the hell would we name a horse “Mayo”?

Tobi: Because it’ll be cute when Mayo neighs.

Deidara: 

Tobi:

Deidara:

Tobi, in Obito voice: Just so you know, we’re not leaving this room until you laugh.

[missnobodymadness]

Ayo hope you are having a great day! Im no good in asks but i had one in mind, and an oc interaction question:

I see that Myline survives. Did she had any reaction to losing any of the Akatsuki members? Or she didnt react at all?

Also if she were to meet Rinto as a fellow member, and get to know him, what would she think of him??

Hiii!

First of all I'd like to thank you for the ask, it really means a lot to me to see people showing some interest on my characters. ♥

And no worries! Your asks were actually very interesting and I am happy to answer them as best as I can!

Yes, Myline survives and is still alive in Boruto! While she can be seen as a stoic person, Myline actually feels a bit too much, she was just forced to oppress her emotions all her life. Despite being hard to approach, she actually had some very strong bonds within the Akatsuki organization, such as Konan, Nagato, Itachi, Deidara and Kisame. Itachi death destroyed her, she had lost her soul mate after all. Unfortunately for her, she had no time to rest and proccess his loss properly because she had to focus on her pregnancy as she was very close to give birth at the time, she tried to keep going as best as she could, for both of them and her child.

Since these two deaths happened pretty close to each other, she only finds out about Deidara's death when she gets back looking for Obito. She took it badly and got really mad as she felt that Deidara's death was totally unnecessary and could have been avoided if he wasn't so petty, she then remembered their fights and how she always used to tell him that his stubbornness and spiteful nature would be his demise and finally allowed herself to cry a bit.

Shortly after she loses Nagato, Kisame and then Konan, her bond with Nagato and Konan, especially the latter, was really strong, possibly as strong as Itachi's. Once again she felt like she was being punished for everything bad she had done in her life, she couldn't believe she had just lost her best friend Konan, her inspiration Nagato and the guy she loved to have deeper conversations with, aka Kisame, but little did she know that Konan had met her demise at Obito's hands. As always, she directed her growing hate towards the wrong person and village because she unfortunately does that a lot, she didn't do anything to aveng due to her current vulnerability state and she regrets it because her hate still consumes her sometimes.

Also, Obito, he pretty much raised her after Madara's death, so she had a bond with him, a toxic one because of how abusive he was to her, but still a bond. Their bond was very fragile at the time, as she had found out what truly happened to her best friend very recently. At the time of his death she was already trapped under the Infinite Tsukuyomi genjutsu, she didn't saw it happen but eventually felt some grief for him once everything ended, mostly because she still felt she owed him her life.

Overall we can see by her actions in Boruto that she has somehow developed some sort of a traumatic response to all these losses (example: Avoiding interacting with people, running away even though she was finally starting to be more welcome in Konoha, etc), she surely needed time to proccess everything, it was all too fast and during her most vulnerable moment (aka pregnancy and motherhood), because of that and the inability to mourn, everything accumulated, building anger, frustration and loneliness inside her.

As for her interaction with Rinto if they ever met, I feel like at first she wouldn't be very friendly, but that's not Rinto's fault at all, she just has too many layers to peel and it takes some time to get under them. It also depends on the situation, but Rinto has a big advantage with Myline: His relationship with Itachi and Kisame. I feel like his bond with them would help making their interactions easier as they would have a common ground for starters. Myline would certainly appreciate the fact that Rinto cares about them enough to get protective over them. Something that I am sure Myline would be amazed to see is Rinto's shapeshifting abilities!

According to the information you once gave me, Rinto seems to be a respectful person, or at least respectful towards his Akatsuki fellow members, which is something Myline really appreciates so I feel like they'd respect each other mutually and get along even if only casually, bonus points if Rinto is into deep conversations and books, then she'd probably love him and spend some time discussing interesting topics and perspectives. xD The good thing about Myline is that if Rinto manages to get under her layers, he will have a very loyal friend for the rest of his or her life (depending on who would die first of course eheh) as Myline is extremely loyal to the ones she cares about.

They are both driven by something in common though: Protecting the ones they care and love. Myline would certainly respect that.

ALSOOO, if I remember right, Rinto doesn't get along with Hidan either, right? Because I can already imagine Myline and Rinto reforcing each other stances about him during the Akatsuki reunions/meetings just to get on his nerves and then blame him when things escalate. LMAO

Thank you so so much once again, I had lots of fun answering these questions! :D

[theacevampire]

Kakuzu Doesn't Get Paid Enough For This Shit

Pairing: Kind of SasoDei?

Genre: Crack

Wordcount: ~2.7k

Warnings: language, canon-typical violence

A/N: This is based on this post (and my headcanons to it). @ladykissingfish You say you like people making fics out of your scenarios/quotes, but because I'm not really a writer for ships, I never did it until this post. I laughed so much at it and because there's only a hint of SasoDei, I felt confident I could put out something good, so I hope you like it! Also, please note that this is my first time trying a crack fic and writing for SasoDei.

It was a rare occurrence. Every member of the Akatsuki was present in the Akatsuki’s main hideout and with great foresightedness this was a once in a blue moon occasion, their Leader Pain had asked everyone for a meeting in the kitchen. Some of the members were clearly annoyed, most notably Deidara and Hidan – though he didn’t expect anything else from two of the youngest members –, others were rather curious, like Itachi and Kisame.

“Thank you for coming everyone”, Pain opened the meeting. “I called you here today because I’d like for everyone to give Sasori a visit in his lab once a month from today on. He will do a full-scale medical check-up. I want all of us to be as healthy as a horse, since our all strength is crucial for this organization’s success and we can’t risk one of us having issues.”

As expected, a snort came from no other than Hidan, but it was Zetsu who spoke up – or rather Black Zetsu, “Bold coming from the person who could be blown away by a heavy breath.”

Deidara flipped his hair, throwing a questioning glare. “What do you even know about breathing? All you do is reverse-breathing!”

Black Zetsu hissed at the youngest member, “It’s called photosynthesis, brat!”

“Isn’t your physical condition objectively the worst from all of us?”, Kisame interjected, essentially putting an end to the bickering.

Hidan was quick to agree, “Yeah! You’re hiding behind that corpse, but we all know what you look like, Nagato.”

Kakuzu sighed deeply, already regretting to agree to play Sasori’s assistant in this whole ordeal, but he had to admit he was the most fitting for this role since he had some medical knowledge and was able to keep all of the others under control.

-

“Thank you for helping me with this”, Sasori said as he gathered his tools for the examination. “I wouldn’t want to deal with Hidan alone.”

Kakuzu took of his scowl and mask, before removing his shirt as well. “I feel like I’m gonna regret this – especially if we do this every month, but Pain’s right. While I don’t consider it necessary in my case I won’t resist, since I suspect we will have enough trouble later anyway.”

The red-haired grabbed his stethoscope and placed one end right above one of Kakuzu’s hearts. “Considering your age, I don’t think it’s inappropriate to have regular examinations.”

He was met with a snort as an answer. “That I have spent nine decades on this earth doesn’t mean my mind or my body are old.”

“Spoken like a grumpy old man”, he chuckled while checking up on Kakuzu’s next heart. “Though at least in regard to your hearts, I suppose you’re not wrong since you obtain new one’s regularly. Fortunately, they all seem fine currently. Turn around.” Checking the masks on Kakuzu’s back, he noticed a small scratch in the raiton mask. “Is this from battle or because the heart is getting weaker?”

The other man growled, before pressing a single word through gritted teeth, “Hidan.”

“That doesn’t answer my question”, Sasori joked. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he caused you to have a heart attack one day.” Putting his things back he motioned Kakuzu he could dress again. “I think you’re better at judging your stitching, so I’ll leave this to you. Alright?”

Kakuzu nodded. “Thank you. Do you need help with your own examination? Or someone to oil your hinges?”

Sasori chuckled. “I’m fine, thanks for asking.” He looked around the room for a second. I think we can call in the first patient, what do you think?”

“Sure, let’s get over with this, I got money to count.”

-

Nagato as the leader was the first one aside from them to go through the check-up to set a good example. It was his idea after all and he wouldn’t be a coward by sending one of his Pain bodies.

Knowing how fragile he looked, Konan insisted on bringing him and waiting in front of the door. “Please be careful, okay?”, she asked them, her voice small.

“I won’t break that easily”, he joked, convincing neither Sasori nor Kakuzu.

After checking his single heart and blood pressure, Sasori grabbed his little hammer to check Nagato’s reflexes. He tried to hide his hesitation, being afraid of hurting the man who was more bones than anything else, but this was all on Nagato’s insistence. The tap on the knee was light, but Nagato cried out in pain as if he had been stabbed, before falling off the stretcher, lifelessly.

“What the fuck, puppet?”

Sasori turned to the man who was supposed to assist him with a frown. “He himself said he would be fine! It was a light tap!”

The door to Sasori’s lab was ripped open suddenly and a panicking, wide-eyed Konan appeared, running towards the body lying on the floor. “Nagato!”

Kakuzu and Sasori were exchanging panicked glances, both worried they just killed their organization’s leader and not noticing the corner of Nagato’s lips turning upwards. “Just kidding!”

Rolling her eyes, Konan pulled him up and dragged him towards the door. After the door shut behind the two, Kakuzu and Sasori could hear her hiss, “Scare us like that ever again and I’ll break every single bone in your body.” Though her words were harsh, her voice was filled with worry and genuine concern. After all, Nagato was Konan’s closest friend.

-

Next up was Hidan. While Kakuzu wanted to prolong this examination as long as he could, he also agreed with Sasori’s approach to just get over and done with what would by far be the worst examination of them all.

And dirtiest. Drops of blood dripping from Hidan’s body were already scattered all across the hall in front of the lab, making a mess.

“Oi, old fuck. You gonna fix my arm? Since this was your fault”, he demanded as soon as Sasori had opened the door, throwing his left arm in pieces on the table and splashing blood across the whole lab.

Resisting the urge to sew the gray-haired man’s mouth shut forever, Kakuzu’s threads worked on setting the puzzle that was an arm back in place. “If you had kept your dirty fingers off my property, I wouldn’t have felt the need for this measure.” He didn’t get paid enough for this shit.

Deep down in his mind, he wished Hidan would end up in pieces buried somewhere, still alive and conscious, rotting in the ground forever with his mouth stuffed with dirt still cleaner than everything he had ever said. Admittedly, Kakuzu used foul language as well, but Hidan carried it too far regularly.

“Hidan. You’re gonna clean this when we’re through with all the examination.” Sasori’s tone left no space for negotiations, but that hardly stopped him.

“Can’t you just leave it to Zetsu? I bet that bastard would enjoy licking my blood off the floor and–”

Kakuzu interrupted the protest by rutting one of his threads with way more force than necessary into the skin. “Shut up before I turn you into sushi and refrain from sewing you back together ever again.”

Silently Hidan endured the rest of the procedure before leaving the lab with a grumble.

-

Even with his glasses, Sasori as well as Kakuzu were a little surprised Itachi found his way to the lab. The Uchiha consistently denied his eyesight was worsening despite the evidence being obvious. Just a few weeks ago, Kisame had told a story about Itachi mistaking Tobi’s orange mask for Pain’s hair and calling him ‘Leader’. The masked man had flinched and hurriedly bailed.

“I’m fine.” A coughing fit following his words undermined the truthfulness of these.

Kakuzu sighed. “You’re not fooling us, Uchiha. You’re paler than Konan’s paper.”

Sasori got up and walked over to one of his drawers. “He’s right. Unfortunately, there isn’t much I can do for you. You yourself know the illness is incurable and I can only try to ease the pain and treat the symptoms in hopes of dragging out the inevitable.”

“I know.”

Taking out three different cans with vitamins and medication he himself discovered while developing poisons, he handed them to Itachi. “Here, take one of the white ones each morning, one of the red ones each evening and the blue ones whenever you overused your sharingan, alright?”

Itachi gave him a sad smile, taking the pills from Sasori. “Thank you for trying anyway.”

Both men looked after Itachi when he left the lab, not moving and letting silence take over. “I wish I could do more for him”, Sasori broke the silence after a while.

Kakuzu only let out an agreeing grumble.

-

After she had probably lectured Nagato enough about the incident earlier, it was Konan’s turn to get checked. Neither of them had ever seen her without her cloak, so when she took it off, Kakuzu gulped.

He hadn’t known what to expect but it sure wasn’t something revealing like this. Never before had he been more thankful for his mask which was now covering his evident blush. Clearing his throat, he hoped to cover up his flustered state. “If you’d excuse me for a moment. There are some things I’d like to get for the upcoming members.”

Sasori said nothing and Konan gave him a smile, at least acknowledging what he had said and internally appreciating him respecting her personal space as she looked right through the charade.

“They are a little uneven”, Sasori remarked when palpating her breasts. “I could fix it in case you’d like me to.”

Not knowing what to respond, she looked at the puppet puzzled, before remembering he was just that – a puppet with no attractions to her body. There were no ill intentions behind this offer, as this examination was for him just like looking at one of his creations and noticing a little aesthetic flaw.

Though she was about to punch him when he told her, he could also ‘remove some of that abdominal fat’. She would apologize to Nagato later for lecturing him. Sasori definitely deserved that now.

She left the lab and shut the door a little stronger than necessary, meeting Kakuzu who was waiting around the next corner for her to leave. The red crept up her neck – now fortunately covered by her cloak again – and she was even more thankful he had left, because had he witnessed the scene earlier, she was sure she would’ve died of embarrassment.

-

Kisame entered the room just a minute after Kakuzu, a big grin showing all his teeth on his lips. “Y’all ready?”

Though it wasn’t visible, Kakuzu smirked. “Yeah, I got these”, he returned, holding up two books about goldfish anatomy.

“That’s a good one, old man”, Kisame let out between laughs.

A jingle coming from Sasori attracted the men’s attention. “We are. Are you?”, he asked while holding up multiple dental tools. “With that number of teeth, I hope you know how to stay still for a while.”

It turned out that ‘a while’ meant almost an hour, since Kisame had not only one or two rows of teeth, but three. At least he took great care of them so it was only a check and nothing had to be done – God knows how long that would’ve taken.

Meanwhile Kakuzu went on and scrutinized Kisame’s gills. “Make sure to properly clean your gills. Sasori might not be able to smell anymore, but the rest of us is and your fishy smell is already enough.”

“Whatever you say, man.”

-

Examining Zetsu was weird in another sense. Not necessarily because he was more plant than human – most of the members weren’t entirely human after all – but because Zetsu wasn’t a single entity. Shiro Zetsu and Kuro Zetsu were like day and night – not only by appearance but by personality too. For example, while Shiro Zetsu laughed when Kakuzu pulled out the book about daisies, Kuro Zetsu threatened to eat him.

“Try me”, Kakuzu had challenged him, knowing fully well Kuro Zetsu wouldn’t as he was too valuable for the Akatsuki.

Sasori took a sample from their Venus flytrap-like extensions, which Kakuzu insisted on calling ‘leaves’. “Your chlorophyll levels are fine and the others look fine too. Make sure you get enough sun as the days are getting shorter lately.”

Zetsu nodded. “We will do that”, Kuro Zetsu said, before their joined body disappeared into the floor – because why use doors like everyone else?

-

Deidara’s turn made up for everything Kakuzu had to endure until that point – even Hidan’s mess. With amusement, he watched the young man desperately offering Sasori to carry heavy things just to show off his strength, but the desired man remained oblivious and confused as there were no things that need to be carried or moved.

“And if there was, Kakuzu can do it just fine. He’s taller and stronger than you, anyway.” His tone was nonchalant and indifferent, causing Deidara to visibly slump down, clearly disappointed. Sasori, of course, didn’t notice because he had his back to the blonde, but Kakuzu noticed and covered up his snicker with a cough, though apparently not good enough since Deidara shot him a glare.

When Sasori turned to Deidara, the latter straightened up and put a smile on his face. “What’s up next, Danna?”

“I’ll check your vitals and take a blood sample. Could you please take off your cloak and shirt?”

Deidara did as told, sweat forming on his forehead and nervousness evident on his features. Sasori furrowed his eyebrows, noticing the sweat, but proceeded without saying anything. Only when he checked Deidara’s heartbeat, he spoke up, “Did you exercise before this check-up?” Deidara shook his head. “I think you should lay down and rest for a bit, your heartrate is a little increased and you’re sweating.”

Kakuzu tried his best to hold in his laughter as watching Deidara yearn for Sasori who doesn’t notice anything was just peak comedy for him. Though his discipline was almost gone when Deidara’s face turned as red as a tomato when Sasori mumbled something about Deidara having a really great body. He contemplated telling the blonde for what exactly Sasori had meant, but he refrained – telling him then and there would’ve ruined the fun of the next examinations, so he leaned back against one of the tables and watched the spectacle. Maybe he did get paid enough for this shit.

-

“The last one’s Tobi, right?”, Kakuzu asked with a frown. He really didn’t want to examine Tobi. Sasori nodded, looking just as excited as Kakuzu. “Shit. Something about that guy rubs me the wrong way, like something’s wrong with him.”

“Bold coming from you, but I can’t say I disagree.”

Before they could continue their conversation, the door was ripped open and an exciting Tobi came in. “Is it finally Tobi’s turn? Tobi is very excited!”

Sasori as well as Kakuzu suppressed a rolling of their eyes and instead ordered him to do ten jumping jacks and one push-up which he failed. There was a crease appearing on Sasori’s forehead – something Kakuzu didn’t think was possible – when he checked for Tobi’s heartbeat, but the red-haired only sighed deeply, before telling Tobi, “Everything’s fine. You’re in great shape and your vitals are all perfect. You can leave.”

Examining Tobi felt like playing pediatrician, so Kakuzu gave him a chocolate bar, shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s great! Thank you, senpai!”

The two men watched Tobi hopping out the door, neither of them knowing what exactly just happened. “Nothing”, Sasori broke the silence after a moment. Kakuzu looked at him questioning, so he added, “There was no heartbeat, no breathing, nothing.”

“I was curious what he’s hiding behind that mask, but I guess now I don’t want to find out anymore. I think it’s for the better if we know as little as possible about that guy.” Sasori said nothing, but nodded.

Kakuzu sighed. He didn’t get paid enough for this shit – and neither did Sasori.

[ladytheoris]

Deidara as a boyfriend headcanons

The type who teases you a lot, both NSFW and SFW

Would be having great chemistry with s/o

"In the end, it somehow works" kind of dynamics

If s/o is an Akatsuki member, he'd have a lot of fun doing missions.

If not, then he'd promise s/o always that he would come back soon, before going for missions.

They probably either met s/o on a mission, or early days connection.

I don't see him as a type who gets jealous that easily, but if someone is forgetting their boundaries, he'd make sure to remind them of that.

Let's say, he and s/o is on a mission, and somehow s/o gets injured (badly, but not deadly) he would show them the true form of art as destruction. It would be safe to say, Sasori saved a few unwanted asses from being roasted.

Or if s/o is not an Akatsuki member, and gets kidnapped or is being held by any of the Kages to know about his location, he'd personally come in, burn down the place, which again will include Sasori saving few asses from being roasted, and takes s/o with him.

He would be the kind who knows how to respect s/o. Let's say his childish nature at times irks s/o, but he knows when to stop it.

Most probably gives the name "idiot" to s/o as an endearment, and will mercilessly kill/ makes regret life decisions to anyone else who calls them that.

So he can be quite possessive, now who is not. But jealous Deidara is a big no. He'd probably see that as s/o trying to get his attention, which he will give.

Kisses with him would be mostly quick but filled with passion type. It holds a lot of promises, and he will surely be kissing s/o before going on missions. Safe to say, it is his energy pills.

His love language would probably be physical touch and quality time.

Dates with him will include clay modeling, origami, and crafts.

And I feel, his love type would be Eros: Passionate love. He gives off a passionate lover vibe.

[excitedlysuffering]

Hey y’all back at it again :p I’m living for the picture below🤣😭 (but it’s not mine!)

Meeting Again

Naruto~

After that fateful meeting with Naruto (who’d emptied your wallet), you two had agreed to go out again a week later. Of course, you told Naruto that he had to pay since there was no way you were paying for him to eat six bowls of ramen ever again.

That brings you to the present, as you sat down next to the blonde ninja. “I hate that guy! He thinks he’s so great with his duck butt hair and tragic backstory.” Naruto whined sullenly. You laughed at his antics, wondering if this Sasuke was as bad as he sounded.

“Well, you guys are on a team now, you have to get along or else your team will fall apart.” He crossed his arms with a huff. “Tell him that! He’s always trying to make me look bad, believe it!” You stifled a laugh, you felt bad at the genuinely upset expression he had.

You placed a hand on his shoulder. “Forget about him, you’re eating ramen! You can’t be upset while eating ramen, it just doesn’t make sense.”

He snickered, digging into his third bowl. “You’re right! Now tell me about your team!” You had skipped the last year of the academy, so even though you were the same age, you were a year ahead.

“My teammates are (guy friend name) and (other guy friend name). We make a pretty great team, even though they can be total idiots.” I finished my bowl of ramen, completely full.

“Lucky,” he pouted, thinking, “I have an idea! How about we hang out a few times a week so we can relax after a long day of dealing with idiots?” I giggled, but that actually sounded like a great idea.

Even though the two of you had a lot in common, you balanced each other out perfectly. He was impulsive and loud, while you was more level headed and quiet.

“Sounds good to me! Say, after this, we should prank Sasuke. Are you up for it?” His evil grin matched yours. “Definitely! Should we dye his hair pink?”

Sasuke~

You and Sasuke had easily fallen into a routine. You’d spar and train together as the sun begins to leave the sky, then the two of you would watch the stars for a while. Sometimes you would talk about things that neither told anyone else and other times you would spend it in silence. Today was not one of those days. Sasuke had asked you to tell a story of when you ad Deidara were young. He didn’t give you a reason but you were happy to indulge.

“Deidara and I didn’t really have a happy childhood, our parents made sure of that… but sometimes, when he would earn enough money by selling sculptures, he would take me places.” You smiled wistfully at the memory.

“Where?” You shrugged. “Anywhere I wanted. Out for dinner, a candy store… he bought me a kitten once. Tell me a good memory of your brother.” For once Sasuke’s face didn’t harden at the mention of Itachi if anything, it softened.

“He used to do this thing, a forehead poke… I’d ask him something and if he couldn’t answer or was too busy he’d say sorry, poke me and say next time.” You turned to him, curiously. “He would just… poke your forehead?” Sasuke chuckled quietly.

“Just like this.” He took his middle and index fingers and all but jabbed them into your forehead. You grunted, rubbing your head. “Ow,” You pouted. The Uchiha just shrugged. “Yep, it used to bother me too.”

It was quiet for a moment, the two of you just watching the stars. “You said your parents didn’t want you guys to have a childhood. Why?” You looked at him for a long second. “They hated us. Hated Dei’s hand mouths, hated my forehead tattoo, hated our need to blow things up…” He scrutinized you for a second. “Forehead tattoo?” You nodded but didn’t move to show him. You just weren’t ready yet. Luckily, he seemed to understand that.

The two of you didn’t stay for much longer, but it had been a good night. Sasuke and you had a lot in common, and it seemed to form a bond between the two of you.

Neji~

Somehow you’d let Ino and Hinata drag you to the mall. They had assured you it’d be fun, light shopping and then you’d all go out for sushi afterward. You knew you’d regret it, but you loved hanging out with your friends, so you agreed. You were right, of course, the second Ino and Hinata stepped into the first store they had made it clear they were going for a whole new wardrobe.

You, on the other hand, had a specific agenda in mind. You just wanted to purchase a few hair accessories. Hairbands, clips, and the like. But, no, the girls insisted on dragging you everywhere.

“(Y/N), we’re going to try these on, we’ll be right back, ok?” Ino grinned, already halfway in the dressing room. “Yep…” They were already gone as you sat down knowing you had to wait. This was the sixth store and you were already more than a little irritated.

“Bored, (Y/N)?” You whipped around, already knowing who the smooth voice belonged to. “Neji? What are you doing here?” You didn’t even try to hide your smile. It’d been a week since you’d met him ad you were hoping you’d get to see him again.

“Hinata dragged me here, but I escaped. I didn’t know you would be here though.” You sighed. “Lucky. This is the sixth store they’ve dragged me to! I don’t think I can handle much more.” You whined dramatically.

Neji smirked, holding a hand out to you. “Let’s escape. I know the perfect place to go.” You looked back towards the dressing rooms. “You don’t think they’ll be mad?” He shrugged, as you put your hand in his. “They’ll get over it. Now let’s go before they catch us!”

~~~~~~~~~Time Skip Sponsored By Neji’s L’oreal Commercial~~~~~~~~~~

The two of you found yourselves at the food court, surrounded by vendors with tons of different kinds of food. “Neji, you read my mind.” He smirked. “They bribed you with the promise of food too, didn’t they.” You laughed. “It was the only way.”

The two of you looked around, the number of options overwhelming you. “That sushi place sounds good, what do you think?” Neji suggested. You grabbed his hand, dragging him over. “Sounds perfect to me!”

After ordering, the two of you find a seat away from all the other patrons. “So, how’d the shampoo work out for you?” Your eyes lit up as you thought of the way it practically rejuvenated your hair. “It was amazing! I’m so glad I ran into you. Is that the one you use to?” He nodded, putting his chopsticks down. “Yes, it’s my favorite of all the ones I’ve used.”

“Neji?! (Y/N)?! Why’d you leave?!” You saw an angry Ino and Hinata rushing after you. “Uh oh, time to dip!” Grabbing Neji’s hand you pulled him out of the mall, both of you laughing all the way.

Shikamaru~

Despite your plans to meet up with Shikamaru, it’d been about a week since you’d seen him and you’d spent a lot of time at the spot you’d met him. You brought your notebook every time, but you never ended up using it. You just watched the clouds, although it wasn’t as enjoyable without him.

You began to feel a little foolish, staring at the sky by yourself. Dejected, you stood up, grabbed your stuff and prepared to leave. “Leaving so soon?” You stood up from where you’d bent down to grab your things and was met with the boy you’d been waiting for.

“Shikamaru? You came!” He grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, it took so long, I had to go on a mission, but I’m glad you waited.” You giggled. “It’s alright, I’m just happy you’re here now.”

You both sat down next to each other, just like the first day you met. “We agreed that you’d show me the wonders of writing… what better way than by reading to me?” You instantly flushed at the suggestion.

“The stories not even finished yet…” You mumbled. He shrugged. “Oh, c’mon! Just show me what you have. If you don’t read it to me, I’ll just have to look at it myself and that’d be a drag.” You laughed at him despite yourself at his catchphrase.

“Okay… I’ll read some. But don’t laugh!” He gave you a small smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” You began to read your story, the tale of a girl named (name of protagonist) who only dreamed of two things; freedom and power. She ran away from her town, with enough supplies to last her few days-

“Why would she do that? Her parents loved her, she had friends and… everything was great…” Shikamaru interrupted quietly. You smiled softly. “Sometimes our goals can drive us to do foolish things. Now listen!” He pouted. “Geesh, woman, so demanding.” You snickered before starting where you left off.

As you finished your story, Shikamaru looked disappointed. “That’s it?” You gave him a look. “I told you it wasn’t done yet.” He groaned. “How troublesome. When you finish it, I want to hear the rest of it.” You smiled, flattered that he had liked it. “You’ll be the first one to know. Doesn’t that cloud kinda look like a pineapple?” He gave you a weird look before looking at the cloud. “Um, I guess so-” You smirked mischievously.

“It reminds me of you!” He scowled. “How mature, (Y/N),” He muttered, but you kept laughing. “Okay, it’s not that funny, geez, woman!” You only laughed harder.

Kiba~

Ever since that movie night, Kiba seemed to frequent the Nara home; not that either of you minded, he was great company. Per usual, the three of you were in Shikamaru’s room, bored out of your mind. You were laid out on the bed, your head dangling off the edge, while Kiba sat on the floor, his head next to yours, and Shikamaru sat at his desk chair, staring at nothing.

“Guys, I’m bored.” You groaned. Shikamaru sighed. “How about I go grab some things from the basement. I’ll be back.”

He immediately rushed off, effectively stunning you both. “Was that really our Shika? Cause, he would’ve complained about you being troublesome and a drag and would’ve made us go.” Kiba stated in shock. You nodded dumbly. “Yeah… he’s up to something.” You didn’t miss the cute smirk on his face, nor did you miss his eyes full of mischief. “Wanna prank him?” You grinned deviously. “Let’s do it.” The two of you scrambled to your feet, going straight to the closet to grab supplies. “So what’s the plan, dog boy?” Clearly choosing to ignore your nicknames, he handed you a button. “What’s this? Wait a second, you’ve been planning this?!”

He grinned. “I wanted it to work. It’ll beep every time it’s pressed, but it’s not very loud, just shrill. Go ahead and try it.” You did and immediately winced at the high pitched whine.

“We’re going to put it under his pillow.” A slow grin spread across your lips. “A tired Shika is a Shika who won’t bother to check his pillow. This is genius!” I regretted the words as soon as they left my lips. There was no way Kiba’s smug expression was going anywhere now.

“C’mon! We don’t know how long he’ll be gone. We have to hurry.” You dragged him back to Shikamaru’s room, snickering as you imagined your best friend’s reaction.

“You can play it cool right? You won’t be laughing all night or something?” You huffed at the question. “Of course not, I’ve played plenty of pranks on him. But this is a pretty good one.” Kiba chuckled as he stuffed the small button inside the pillowcase.

“Perfect. Now act natural before he gets here.” You both laid on the bed, playing with Akamaru, who barked, excited at all the attention he was receiving. Just as you were about to mention his pillow, you heard the door slam.

“Hey, guys, come down here.” You and Kiba shared a look before rushing downstairs. “Blankets and pillows…? What’re you doing?” Kiba asked. “You two are watching a movie in a pillow fort, so I can take a nap!” You and Kiba sighed. “He’s such a chivalrous host, isn’t he?” Both guys laughed, but Shika was already up the stairs.

We both watched as he left, excited our plan was working so well. “Do you think he’ll fid it?” You asked. Kiba grabbed a blanket. “Nah, he’ll be pissed though.” Snickering you guys built the pillow fort. Five minutes later you heard Shikamaru yell a few… obscenities.

Gaara~

You walked up to the sand sibling’s door, excited to meet up with your friends for a day of shopping. You knocked on the mahogany door, hoping all three of them were up and ready. They told you 8:30 and you were perfectly on time.

The door opened revealing their redheaded brother. “Hey, Gaara! Are you guys ready?” He sighed opening the door for you. “Hello, (Y/N). I am, but when I came down, Temari and Kankuro were still sleeping.” You facepalmed. “I really should’ve expected this… this is the fourth time!” Gaara smirked. “Want to wake them up? I’m sure we can find something loud.”

You rubbed your hands evilly. “Can I play the piano?” You pointed to the grand piano in the corner, already forming a devious plan. “Yes, of course. I didn’t know you played.” You blushed, sitting down on the bench. “I don’t usually tell people… but this is one of my hobbies.” He flashed you a small smile, as he sat down next to you. “What are you going to play?” I placed my fingers over the keys. “Dissonant chords. They’re harsh and loud and will surely wake them up!” He nodded once in approval and you began.

Your fingers flew over the keys, the sounds of a jarring and mournful wail poured out. You both winced as you played the notes as loud as possible. It took a few minutes, but you heard the stomping of footsteps.

“What is going on?!” Temari and Kankuro, both looking half asleep. “Oh, hey (Y/N), what’re you doing here today?” Kankuro asked, yawning. Both you and Gaara stared at them, unimpressed. “We were supposed to go shopping today.” Temari blanched. “Shoot! You’re right!” They rushed back up the stairs, leaving you and Gaara alone once again.

“Can you play me something else?” Gaara whispered, awkwardly. You were beaming as you positioned your hands over the keys. “I’d love to! I’ll play Swan Lake, it’s my favorite.” (A/N Yes I know it’s not anywhere near the era or location but just bear with me XD) The familiar tune wafted all through the room and you smiled at the calming music.

“Would you ever be willing to teach me to play?” You paused, a delighted smile on your face. “Next time I come over, I’ll teach you everything I know.” His cheeks reddened slightly, matching yours.

“Thank you… I’m looking forward to it.”

Kakashi~

After your spar three days ago, which you had very nearly won, you and Kakashi had decided to take a stroll around the park. You were both outdoorsy types so it worked perfectly for both of you.

“So you were ANBU Black Ops Captain before you got a Genin team right?” You nodded thinking of your team, Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru (screw Kurenai no one needs her). “Yeah, it’s been quite the transition,” You laughed.

“What made you change?” You sighed. “It was great being in ANBU, but I’ve been doing that since I was 15. I… guess I wanted to pass on my own ninja way if that makes sense.”

He gave you a closed eye smile. “That makes perfect sense, in fact-“

“Kakashi-sensei!” Three teens that you recognized as Team 7, Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto, ambushed the silverette, with angry expressions.

“You were supposed to be at training four hours ago! That’s late even for you, Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura exclaimed. You gave the man a look. “We could’ve hung out another time, Kakashi. Go train your team.”

Three pairs of eyes settled on you. “Heyy… you’re Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji’s sensei! What are you doing here?!” You flushed as Naruto pointed at you. “Ah, yes I am. I didn’t know he had somewhere to be, sorry guys.” Sasuke gave Kakashi a sly glance before addressing you.

“Tch. It’s not a problem. Kakashi should’ve just invited you to our training session. I’m sure you could help.”

Both you and Kakashi blushed, but you smirked right back at the Uchiha. “That’s a good idea! I’ve heard great things about you guys!” The masked man groaned but didn’t protest.

~~~Time Skip Brought By Team 7 Reading The Icha Icha Books~~~

That’s how you ended up watching Naruto and Sasuke spar, while Sakura practiced her medical skills. “You know, you never did get to finish your sentence earlier.” He thought back to the moment for a second.

“Ah, yes. I was saying I felt the same way when I left ANBU… it’s a great position, and very important, but there’s more to being a shinobi- to life- than endless missions and the like.” You watched the Naruto narrowly dodge a kunai. “Couldn’t have said it better myself. Plus I wouldn’t have gotten to meet you, and even though we haven’t been talking long, I enjoy your company.”

You could just ake out the grin under his mask. “Same for me. We should hang out more often. Preferably when our students aren’t around to bother us.” You giggled. “Well, actually you were supposed to be with them four hours ago!” He waved a hand. “Technicalities.” You both laughed, silently agreeing that Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura could handle their training for a day.

~Akatsuki~

Pein~

“That’s the girl? She looks pretty harmless, Leader-sama…” Your eyes opened a bit, hearing voices not far from you. “I didn’t bring you here so you can tell me what she looks like, Kakuzu. She stole my ring and I need it back.”

Your blood ran cold. That Pein guy was back for you and he had brought help. You had been sleeping in the corner of an alleyway. As of now, there was only one way to escape. There was a hole that you fit through perfectly that led down to catacombs you could hide in.

You stood up, leaping for the entrance. “Oh, no you don’t kid.” Just as you reached the hole, something wrapped around your waist, restraining you. Stitches? The man, who you assumed was ‘Kakuzu’ had grabbed you with the stitches that encircled his body.

“We ought to kill you, but had I not wiped off my hand, I wouldn’t have noticed you’d even stole my ring- enough Kakuzu, stop laughing- and then you’d already disappeared. Your expertise could come in handy.”

Just then you noticed their cloaks. Oh god. You had stolen from the Akatsuki. Your blood ran cold. “Y-you want me t-to join?” Pein nodded walking closer. He roughly grabbed your wrist and snatched his ring back. “Tch. Stealing from a God.” His hand struck out, hitting your pressure point, causing you to go limp.

~~~Le Time Skip Brought By An Akatsuki Outing To The Nail Salon~~~

You woke up with a splitting headache and with itchy wrists. Your eyes blinked open, trying to rub your head, but your wrists were restrained in shackles. “W-what? Hello?! You can’t keep me here!” The orange-haired jerk came into view, causing your eyes to narrow.

“You’re right. You can’t stay here; that’s why I’m giving you two choices. Become a member of the Akatsuki or die.” Your jaw dropped. “I’m not even a shinobi! What-” He held up a hand.

“You will be a spy and gather information for our organization. Now, what is your choice?” You hung your head, knowing you had no choice but to accept your new fate. “I’ll join.”

Deidara~

You searched the shelves of the art shop, looking for very specific items. The blonde artist you had met the day before had inspired you to try something new. You were going to do something of an explosion exhibit. You had already bought mini fireworks, now you just needed (favorite color) spray paint and colorful smoke bombs.

“Fancy seeing you here, (Y/N), un,” Chuckled a low voice from behind you. You spun around, coming face to face with the very man you were thinking of. “D-Deidara! What are you doing here?” Your surprised face turned into one of happiness. It’d been less than a week since you’d seen him, you weren’t expecting him to visit so soon, not that you were complaining.

“Well, I needed more clay, and I heard this place had good quality materials, yeah.” You nodded eagerly. “They do, this is the only place I’ll shop at.” His head tilted to the side a bit, and you glimpsed a piece of metal where his eye should be. Before you could ask, he was peering into your basket. “What are you doing here, un?” Heat colored your cheeks as you explained.

“Well… you kinda inspired me the other night…” His eye lit up. “What are you planning and can I help, hmm?” You grabbed his arm, pulling him along. “That’d be great! I just need two more things. While I do that go grab your clay and we’ll meet up front so I can explain everything!”

It didn’t take long for either of you to find your supplies and you hurriedly paid. “Okay, so I had the idea to plant colored smoke bombs all over town square and set them all off, along with some flares.” He was beaming at you as you both left the store. “Spoken like a true artist, un! I can set off the mini bombs while you do the flares, hmm?” He suggested.

“That’s perfect, we can do one at a time, one bomb for every flare?” You two quickly finished planning and agreed to meet up in front of the store at dusk so you had time to set up.

~~~Time Skip Brought To You By Deidara, Sasori, and Hidan Having A Fashion Show~~~

(PIC BELOW)

The sun was just starting its descent when you snuck back to your and Deidara’s rendezvous spot, flares and matches in hand. “Psst, (Y/N), psst!” You looked to your left to see Deidara dragging a clearly unwilling Sasori toward you. “Hey! You guys ready?” Sasori crossed his arms. “I didn’t agree to this.” You pouted. “Please?”

He rolled his eyes with a huff. “Fine.” You cheered quietly. “Okay, here’s the plan. The square will become real busy with night activities in the next fifteen minutes. We need to set up the bombs three per corner.” Sasori looked at all the different colors.

“Should we mismatch them?” You shrugged. “I’m not picky, whatever you guys decide you like to do. I’ll set up the flares.” The time flew as you guys hurriedly set up all your explosive materials.

A small bird landed at your feet, signaling that Deidara and Sasori were ready. You let out a shrill whistle and the first three bombs went off in a small pop! Purple, red, and blue smoke drawing the attention of bystanders. You set off a flare that lot up into the night sky in response.

The ‘show’ had been a huge success, drawing crowds from all over. It had lasted a good amount of time as well.

“That was beautiful, un.” You threw your arms around the blonde, startling him. “I couldn’t have done this without you, thank you!” His arms wrapped around your waist.

“You’re welcome… maybe we can do this again sometime, yeah.”

[nyasukee]

about my au ^^

this is just a bunch of headcanons goodngijth

the uchiha clan

because i think them living together as a big family is really, really funny to me.

they’re all alive and well, even Indra. Though, he’s the relative that rarely ever shows up or lives with them because.. why would he. Instead, everyone has to deal with grandpa Madara. 

In this au, the uchihas run a restaurant instead of being military police. because fuck Tobirama <3 *side note, the Senjus run a store directly in front of them so .. local beef. 

Sasuke started working there when he was 11, just helping out by cleaning and such. He met Obito through there and to this day he regrets ever finding out Obito is his cousin. He’s embarrassing. Obito’s the type of relative to tell embarrassing stories to strangers. Sasuke tried fighting him over it but Itachi was there so there wasn’t much he could do.

The only uchiha that can’t cook is Sasuke. So he’s usually on dish washer duty LMAO. No matter how many times Itachi tells him the measurements this boy will eyeball it because he think’s he can do better. 

Madara, Izuna and Obito all live together, much to Obito’s expense. there isn’t a day where Obito doesn’t wish Madara would die in his sleep.

Itachi and Sasuke both used to live with their parents until,, an accident occurred that got them both killed. by then, Itachi was still 17 and with Sasuke being 12, they had to move in with Shisui, he didn’t mind it that much though ^^

Though, Shisui lives near Madara and them so they had to deal with his bullshit as well. Every year or so, during the holidays Itachi, Sasuke and Shisui were all invited over to Madara’s house. They never want to go there because Madara always finds creative ways to ruin everyone’s day.

The only pro about Madara is that he’ll willingly give you his ID and credit card and make you buy booze for him. Sasuke and Obito usually just spend his money on random shit. Madara knows and only punishes Obito. 

When the time came and Itachi had to move out for college, because of what he wanted to pursue, he couldn’t go to the school Shisui went too. Instead, he attended the same one as Obito. 

college // Itadei 

it’s literally just Itadei. the main focus of this au lmfaooo.

Before Itachi became Deidara’s roommate, he was paired up with Sasori. Due to them being in the same major it sort of made sense? They didn’t co-exist well though, they usually got into arguments over petty shit because, Deidara is very very petty. Though, they’re always seen together so nobody can tell if they’re friends or not??? 

The only reason why Sasori left is because he graduated early. Which left a vacant space for him. At first, Deidara didn’t mind. It was finally quiet... too quiet. He lowkey missed the bickering and things were getting boring so he set out to look for a roommate. Which didn’t exactly work out in his favor so for a while he had to live alone.

Eventually, the same thing happened to Itachi, his roommate ended up leaving because they wanted to live off campus which left an empty space. 

not getting into logistics, but they ended up becoming roommates with each other. which, was hell.

Deidara is 19. He’s literally fresh out of high school and still has most of his bad habits from then. He’s loud, messy, unorganized, stays up all night blasting music, spends all his money on food, has terrible eating habits because he’s an art student. He’s the typical college kid who’s in debt lmao.

Itachi was much more mature. He was an excellent student, always on time, always got his work done in a timely manner, he was neat and clean, never caused problems, was somewhat popular with the people there even if he didn’t talk much. To Deidara, Itachi seemed so arrogant. So obviously he didn’t like him, which caused Deidara to pick small arguments with him over little stuff. It was honestly just a little bit of jealousy.

Itachi doesn’t entertain shit like that so he didn’t even bother arguing back with him which set off Deidara even more lmaooo. Itachi thought he was annoying though, which it’s arguably hard to annoy Itachi like that so.... laughsj

Anyywayyy, after a while the two got used to each others presence and after a certain night where they started to drink together. they spent some time talking with each other and ever since that night, they’ve gotten closer. yes, Deidara is technically under drinking age but does he really care??? not really. Itachi advised him not too but who is he to tell Deidara what he can and cannot do???

Itachi ended up becoming really helpful for Deidara, doing little things for him like, cooking so he doesn’t have to eat out so much, taking small responsibilities off of Deidara’s shoulders so he has more time to work on his projects. 

Deidara realized what he was doing and wanted to do something back in return?? Now, Dei isn’t always the best person to talk too, since he’s young lol.. but He’s a good listener and comforter. If he sees that Itachi is having some problems, he doesn’t force him to tell him about it, instead he sits by his side with a hand on his back which just means “whatever it may be, I’ll be here for you.” Itachi greatly appreciates this, much more than spilling out his feelings just like that.

Eventually, this lead to an on and off relationship between the two. Only because both were extremely busy and Deidara has... uh commitment issues and commitment scares him. Itachi understands, he knows Dei’s feelings towards him are genuine and is more than willing to wait until Dei is ready to be more serious. 

Despite their relationship being more relaxed, the two don't actively seek out other people. They both have something the other needs.

i’ll add stuff about the other characters, cough konoha 11 and the rest of the akatsuki cough, later because this au is still a major wip... and was created impusively. 

[thatwritingho]

I gotchu anon. This one hits close to home😔but tbh was pretty therapeutic to write

If you ever need someone to talk to about it, my dms are always open.

⚠️Obvious trigger warning for child abuse below the cut⚠️

You hated it, how even after all these years, just a string of words, a smell, a nightmare, anything that reminded you even slightly of that time could send you spiraling; amp up your heart rate, disrupt your breathing, force tears to your eyes, and steal your ability to speak. 

It was rarer, these days, for that all consuming feeling of dread and fear to overtake you. Time would never heal this, but it was easier to push it to the back of your mind, to go through the motions of your day to day like a semi-functional human being, with the trauma of days long gone buried securely behind multiple thick walls.

So rare, in fact, that you had never brought it up to your lover. Its not that you didn't trust them, far from it. Your conversations had merely never turned in that direction, and there was never a right time to just bring that up. You kept telling yourself that it didn't matter, that it was long in the past and you hadn't even had an anxiety attack in ages anyway. 

But now, here you were, curled up in your bed, blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders in an attempt to hold yourself together.

Your door opened and fear shot through you like cold fire, for the briefest of seconds you were that same scared little child again, expecting to see your abuser as your eyes shot to the source of footsteps. Relief washed over you like a warm wave as you saw it was not them, but your lover, their eyes full of barely concealed concern as they rushed to your side, taking your hands in theirs and searching your eyes.

"Whats wrong?"

You opened your mouth, but no words came, only a choked sob as tears spilled down your face. Your tongue felt like lead in your mouth, your jaw wired together by anxiety. Their grip on your hands tightened. 

It was time. You needed to tell them. You wanted to tell them. And so you took a deep breath, and told your story as best as you could.

Itachi:

Listens to you calmly and patiently, though inside his heart is breaking for you. 

He's almost relieved, in a way, that you're opening up to him

It explains so much, and he's kicking himself for not realizing sooner, for not seeing the signs, certain aspects of your behavior, for what they were and putting two and two together

Feels like a terrible boyfriend for not noticing and leaving you to deal with this on your own

But you're not on your own anymore

he may not totally understand your situation, but he's no stranger to traumatic childhood events himself

Makes it clear that he is going to support you and support you hard, making sure you know you can talk to him about this any time

He never brings it up first, but is always ready to listen

All in all yall already know he's perfect boyfriend material and this is no exception

Kisame:

Similar to itachi tbh

But even better

A great listener but also somehow knows exactly what to say???

"You have every right to be upset." 

"You're not defined by this."

"I'm proud of you for being so strong, but you're not alone anymore. I'm here to support you now."

Here king you dropped your crown👑

You will feel so much better after opening up to this man I swear it

He has def had to comfort someone close to him in this way before, maybe a sister or team mate

He's just too good to not have

But we all know his heart is just as big as his sword so its no surprise that he's like this

Has always been understanding when you're having a more difficult day, but now that he knows the cause of some of your actions is trauma, he knows just how to calm you down and ground you

100/10 marry this man or I will

Deidara:

Is stunned, tbh

Like he never fucking suspected

Feels like shit honestly, what kind of boyfriend is he that he couldn't even tell his lover was struggling with something so big?

Knows he shouldn't be making this conversation about himself, though, so he doesn't say any of that

His hand mouths kiss your palms to try to comfort you

Pulls you into a giant hug when you finish speaking and kisses your tears away

Oh shit but wait maybe you don't want to be touched right now? Thats a thing right?

Doesn't have any knowledge on this but he's trying ok

Is very open to any changes that come to your dynamics because of the new found news

Maybe a bit too open

Like completely stops initiating sex because he doesn't want you to feel pressured

And just all in all starts treating you like you're fragile

Its sweet, his heart is in the right place, but that isn't what you want of course

So you have to sit him down and tell him that you're still you, and he's still him, and that you don't want your relationship to change because of something that happened before you even met

That finally makes it click for him, and he goes back to his normal self pretty quickly

And he is always, always there if you want to talk about it. He may not understand, but he loves you and will do whatever he can to help you feel less alone

Sasori:

He done been knew

Well, he heavily suspected. I head canon him as an abuse survivor himself, and he recognized the signs

Knows how difficult it is to talk about, so he was just waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to bring it up

Lowkey relieved, because even though its horrible, having someone else who understands that particular brand of trauma is rare

Especially for him since he's never opened up to anyone else like he has you

But he's also fucking furious

We all know Sasori views people as possessions 

And even though he loves you more than anything else in the world, he still feels that way about you too, to a smaller extent, but its there

So the thought that someone did that to something of his?

Oh he mad

But he has enough wherewithal to not let you see that burning rage while you're upset and confiding in him

He listens attentively, and gives you as much comfort as he can until you calm down

Finds some way to weasel out the identity of your abuser without upsetting you(ya boi is manipulative af)

Later has one of his spies hunt the person down and capture them, and then sneaks off and takes his sweet time to make them regret ever even looking at you

Might tell you about his own abuse sometime in the future. Maybe. 

Kakazu:

Its not often that Kakazu feels the need to put effort into holding back his anger

But this is one of those times

Because he is livid

He has always taken extra joy in collecting the heads of child rapists for bounties

He may be immoral in regards to most things, but that is a line that should not be crossed

And to think about that happening to you makes him want to kill

Makes a vow to himself as soon as the words leave your lips, that he will find the scum that did this and destroy them. Slowly. Painfully.

But for now he listens, holding you hands with as much gentle care as he can muster 

Kakuzu is at a loss for how to handle delicate, emotional situations like this. But he tries, for you.

Wiping away your tears and holding you softly, allowing far more cuddles and gentle affection than he normally would that night 

He feels that acting different around you after would be an insult to your ability to handle a problem you've been dealing with for years

But he can't help but be a little easier on you, letting you get away with more back talk or general acts of affection than usual

He may even surprise you with a few small gifts

That necklace you were eyeing in the last town? That new album by that group you like that just dropped? A collectors edition of your favorite book? 

As much as he hates spending money, he just can't help himself

Afterall, the fact that you trusted him, him, with this information makes him feel a bit squishy inside

Hidan:

Another one for team "I'll fucking kill them!"

But much more upfront about it

Unlike Sasori and Kakuzu, he does not have the sense to not let his rage be know to you while you're telling him

But then he sees how you shrink, how you curl further into yourself, how you start crying that much harder

"Fuck, baby, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you."

Once you calm down, you have to explain that him being angry and aggressive does not help when you're fighting off these memories

He feels like shit for upsetting you further

Go easy on him. You're the first person he's ever cared about. He's emotionally stunted but hes trying

Kind of just shuts up and let's you talk after that

Is lowkey amazed that you were hiding all these awful feelings this whole time

Is also lowkey amazed that you were able to function and seem so normal with them

Holds you close when you finish, and in the most serious, calm tone you've ever heard from him, promises that no one will ever hurt you like that again, and that he will make this person pay

They aren't worthy of being a sacrifice to Lord Jashin.

But you best believe Hidan will make them suffer 

Konan:

Sad girl is sad

Also not surprised, she knows how common it is for these things to happen

She's dealt with sexual harassment hersef

But her heart aches for you

Holds you tight, letting you cry into her shoulder and cling to her as much as you want

Soothingly stroking your back or arm or petting your hair as you let it all out

She can relate to many of the feelings you share

Is literally the only one who thinks to ask if you have any triggers

Not quite as supportive as Kisame, but still validates your feelings

"Its ok to be angry."

"You've been so strong."

"Be gentle with yourself."

Doesn’t let it affect your relationship 

But she is more understanding if you get in a mood

If you're being especially irritable or pushing her away, she may ask, "are you ok?" and give you a look

Its frustrating but also helps ground you

10/10 wifey I love her

Nagato/Pain:

Poor baby is devastated 

Also concerned

You've been hiding this pain from him all this time… why?

Do you not trust him?

Do you not think he could handle knowing?

All he wants is to take your heart ache from you, even if it means it becomes his

Lovers should share everything, including pain

And so you tell him, though teary eyes, that no, no, of course not, that's not it

Its just that every time you wanted to tell him, you just…  couldn't

How the trauma would cause your body to physically prevent you from speaking about it, even when you wanted to

You both end up crying 

He wants to know everything about how it affects you, physically, emotionally, all of it

The more he knows, the more he can do to help

Lowkey might have Konan pick him up a book or two on the subject, just to get a better understanding 

You already know he’s gonna obliterate the person who did this to you

Obito:

This man i swear

He's worse than Deidara

Finding out something so terrible happened to you, seeing how deeply its hurt you, has him crying right along with you

Feels helpless that he can't make it better

"I should have been there to protect you."

"Obito, we didn't even know each other."

"That's irrelevant."

Is super comforting though, kisses your fingers and plays with your hair and tells you how much he loves you

Very eager to do anything in his power to make you smile

"Is there anything I can get you, baby? Do you want a glass of water? Tea? Sake? How about some ice cream? A foot massage? New kunai? A private island? Want me to kill all the world leaders tomorrow?"

He's excessive but its cute and makes you laugh

Is the only one considerate enough to actually ask if you're OK with him killing your abuser

If you say yes, he'll also ask if you want to watch

There won't be anything left of the person after Obito is done with them. No blood. Not a scorch mark. Not even a stray skin cell. Nothing. He completely erases them from existence.

If you say no though, he's probably still gonna do it anyway, but make it look like an accident. He just can't let that person live after what they did to you. 

But hey, at least he asked first right?

[faceless-dude]

10 Fav Fandoms Ch2

Name your top 10 fav character from 10 different fandoms.

Thanks for the tag, @subdee and @hxhhasmysoul !

Well, since i was tagged twice, i can write about 20 i guess?

But to choose a favourite character is extremely difficult for me - most likely i love several characters equally...

Ofc my obsession with Gon is obvious but mostly because i can see a lot of myself in this character, especially when i remember my awful acts i still regret about.

So i write about my favourite characters dynamics instead!

And since for now I'm obsessed with HxH fandom (funny thing one of the russian translated versions is XxX), i will reffer to it a lot!

So here the ch 2:

11) Hiccup - Toothless (How to Train your dragon) dynamic

The most adorable thing in their relationship is that they accept each other's personalities just how are they are.

Hiccup felt himself not belonging to his world, Toothless is the last of his kind. They helped to each other to be themselves and that was the thing that helped them to start belonging to the world.

12) Deidara - Tobi (Naruto) dynamic

Deidara is probably my favourite character from "Naruto" and the way Tobi acts while being his comrade leds me to the thoughts that Tobi actually is that part of Obito that wasn't affected by all those terrible things that happened to him and turned him into Madara's minion. Tobi is a "real Obito".

13) Ahsoka - Anakin ("Star Wars: the Clone Wars" and "Star Wars: the Rebels") dynamic

There're no favourite characters in CW (except Kenobi, he's way better here than Kenobi in the actual movies) but these two's dynamic is the best for me here.

They're not just master and apprentice, they are brother and sister, they are best friends here. For me Ahsoka and Gon are really similar (to be more specific, 14 years old Ahsoka and Gon, they act and behave similar way, so i guess older Gon will be much more calm and gentle just like 16, 18 and 30 years old Ahsoka).

And of course the moment Ahsoka and Darth Vader met in the "Rebels" is one of the most painfull for fans.

*I hope our favourite boys won't reunite like this lol*

14) Kappa - Siren (Castle Swimmer) dynamic

They're just my favourite gay fishie dorks who wants to start living for themselves at last. They deserve happiness.

15) Milo Thatch - Kida Gagash (Atlantis: the lost empire) dynamic

This is one of the rarest moments when i do ship characters. These two are just perfect for each other, they could feel for each other from the very beginning.

16) Harry Potter - Draco Malfoy (all HP books and movies) dynamic

I was hoping till the very end that they would be friends one day :"((((((

17) Jim Hawkins - John Silver (Treasure Planet) dynamic

That's obvious, they're like father and son to each other.

18) Chiro - Antauri (Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go!) dynamic

I WAIT FOR HIATUS TO END AS MUCH AS FOR HXH DAMMIT

Well, another father&son relationship. The whole monkey team become Chiro's family, not only his mentors. (Especially when creator confirms that Chiro's parents are actually alive, so it seems that they abandoned him just like Gon's parents????)

19) Saitama - Speed o' Sound Sonic (One Punch Man) dynamic

Damn, i look forward for each their meeting in manga.

20) Jack - Aku (Samurai Jack) dynamic

That's the whole story plot actually. So if you don't like their dynamic - you don't like the story.

And now i remembered a lot of different favourite dynamics whyyyyyy did you tag me 😂😂😂😂😂

[evartandadam]

🎉🎉🌸🌼🌻🌷🌺*parades around your blog throwing confetti and flowers* Pein headcanons pls!🌼🌻🌷🌺🌸🎉🎉

Hmmm well I will put the childhood hcs first, then the adult Nagato/Pain hcs.

Nagato liked to sing a lot as a child, but he’s not very good at it. Not that he cares. You go, Nagato!

Nagato used to be somewhat disappointed with his life. He wished something big would happen to him. Then his parents were killed, and he regretted those past thoughts ever since. And sadly he ended up at the opposite end of the spectrum, weighing a lot of his personality on the sole fact that he’s special, he’s big, he’s god.

Though Nagato was always outwardly kind to everyone he met as a child, it took a lot to earn his respect. Now, it is even harder.

Nagato had acne on his forehead as a teenager, but nobody ever knew.

When Nagato was in school, kids often asked him if he was feeling ok, since he is so pale. He would always grin sheepishly and say “yes”

Nagato could tell that Yahiko and Konan liked each other way before either of them did.

He was always sensitive about his personality. He got hurt whenever people brought up his introverted nature. As he aged, he grew less timid. Kind of like being afraid of answering the phone as a kid, but totally owning it when you are an adult.

(Now getting into older Nagato/Pain hcs) He loves politics. Political nerd. Also loves philosophy and theology. 

He uses a Pain body as much as possible, because he can forget his bad health and trauma.

He is also much more confident as Pain, and Konan almost forgets it’s the same person. He is also more demanding as Pain. 

Nagato sometimes loses himself in Pain, and forgets who he is. Like being in a virtual reality game all the time. 

Pain pays his ninja very well. He cares little about his own fortune, and wants to share success with his people. In this area, he has not lost sight of his original goal. He pays close attention to how Ame is run, with Konan’s help.

He doesn’t really realize it, but he guilt trips Konan. He regrets it, but feels this is irreparable. How could he ever even begin to apologize. 

He has trouble sleeping, and will often wander around Ame as himself. This is when he grounds himself with the reality of his sins, and weighs on his life. He is a private person. 

He likes animals, so he picks up exotic summon animals as he discovers them. 

He loves dogs most of all! Very exciting! 

Konan is his care-taker but Nagato dislikes being taken care of quite a lot, his self-destructive behavior is his own, his burden, and he hates that he has to put that on Konan of all people.

He forgets to take care of himself, and Konan is like “please eat something”. 

He takes ice baths to soothe the pain he feels in day to day life.

He likes poetry.

He is a big reader in general. Will reference books often, and is a master of quotes. 

Since he sings and likes poetry you’d be surprised to see that he’s actually a cheesy romantic (love poems).

He is very responsible and independent. And after his incident, he can no longer be as independent as he was. This frustrates him greatly. 

His foreign politics are downright brutal, but he will do anything for his own people. 

He has a long fuse when it comes to the Akatsuki’s antics and is entertained when they don’t get along. He is a bit of a troll, and will sometimes mess with them.

Nagato admires Itachi. He thinks they are like-minded people. 

He also respects Kakuzu and Sasori, despite some of their ideology differences. 

He thinks Deidara is very eager and finds him to be funny. 

Pain respects his Akatsuki members as ninja. But he distances himself from them emotionally. He is more emotionally distant as Pain than as Nagato. (He mourns Deidara’s death in private). This is because Pain is God. 

Nagato is not God. Nagato is a weak, frail human who could not save his own friend. Pain is everything he wants to be. Pain is perfect. 

Co written by me and the amazing @rcris123 , who has way more knowledge and hcs on Nagato than me! She came up with a lot of these, and they are now also my hcs haha! 

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Itachi Uchiha

Name:Uzumaki Shana Age:19

-Primary role:Assassin,Intel Gathering -Secondary:Ninjutsu/Support -Kekkei Genkai:Rinnegan -Was in Itachi's year at the Academy  -Was in Itachi's team -Long red hair,fringe covering her eye -Average height

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since the destruction of Konohagakure and the death of the 3rd Hokage,things haven't been too...nice. I was sitting on a roof top,watching the training field where Yamato was training his team,consisting of Sakura,Naruto and Sai.

Sasuke...Itachi's younger brother, who was once their teammate was now training under Orochimaru,aiming to one day kill his older brother.   I still remember the days when we'd look after him together,after we've finished with training. Those were the good old days,when we didn't have to worry about anything in this world,except what new jutsu to learn or improve. But now,Itachi and I bear the burden of the Uchiha Clan slaughter,that had to be done,ordered by Danzo Shimura,and the one and only 3rd Hokage...since they were planning a coup d'etat...which would greatly endanger the good of the village.

Konohagakure...our home...our refuge...

But the peaceful atmosphere had to change,since I've been called by the higher ups to deal with the Akatsuki. I easily found them,and just as they  were about to leave the scene of the crime,I jump in front of the raven haired male.

me:Greetings. Itachi:Shana. me:Itachi. Kisame:You two know each other? me:Well enough.How is it going? Itachi:Just fine. Kisame:I will go ahead.Don’t take too long. Itachi:*nods*Danzo had to be made aware of my existence. me:Danzo is not your main problem anymore,you know that.  Itachi:He is with the snake now. me:Not for long. Itachi:I am aware. me:I think we both should stop hiding behind this ridiculous facade,and say what we mean to say. Itachi:That is not the wisest decision. Me:Itachi,please,see reason.Everything could be solved with the aid of communication.All you need is show honesty,not deceit.  Itachi:It cannot be done.For the goal of this objective to be achieved,one must sacrifice everything,in the shadows.  Me:*sighs*You are aware that I can solve this...inconvenience.All of this.  Itachi:Shana...*touches my cheek*I am thankful for your affections towards me,however I couldn't reciprocate,while in the situation that I am facing.It would only be cruel to you,and unfair.  Me:Then take me with you.To the Akatsuki.I could-  Itachi:Please.You have done too much for me already.It's enough.Take care of yourself for once.  Me:Itachi,please,see reason-  Itachi:Farewell,my dear. 

 However,before I could reach out to him,he vanished in a flock of ravens.  Dammit all... 

 --- 

The Hokage,Tsunade,is a powerful,open-minded person,with a great gambling addiction.  And it's my time to act.  Unknown to most,the 3rd Hokage,during the night of the Uchiha massacre,had written a decree,in which the innocence of Itachi,and the reason behind the slaughter was explained in detail.  This is the utmost truth and the only thing that could possibly prove his innocence.  And with this,I must create a plan with the Hokage,so I could get Itachi back.  The plan was simple,but not for me.  With the document,we managed to scheme something,along with the most higher up shinobi in the village,and a copy of it was delivered,personally by me,to each kage of the other 4 major countries.  They must also know of this plan,if something is to happen.  And it worked...more or less.  So,I am supposed to feign being a Rogue-nin,so that Pein would want to recruit me.  This way,I could be closer to Itachi and make him cooperate with me.  Sasuke can become a hero with the aid of his older brother too.  And he wouldn't want to hear that his beloved younger brother is a revengeful,hateful person,who's willing to sacrifice everything for power.  This is going to work...somehow.   We faked some assassinations of some important personalities,added myself high on the Bingo Book,and so,I was met with Deidara and Sasori,who came to recruit me.  It was hilarious when Deidara saw me.He was shocked beyond measure,for seeing another Rinnegan-user,like his Leader,and challenged me to a duel,which I easily won,with Genjutsu.  Hope he doesn't hate me...too much. 

I scratched the Konoha headband and put it back on my forehead,as we walked to the base,where I was greeted by the other members,and a shocked Itachi.  Since I was from Konohagakure too,Pein made the said male and I room together,which couldn't be any better.   As I lay in bed,in my light sleepwear,reading a book,I notice the raven-haired male enter the room. 

Itachi:Why?  Me:Why what?  Itachi:Why did you do it?  Me:Do what?  Itachi:Go through all of this,just to join us.  Me:Oh,dear,but it was easier than you could expect.  Itachi:Was it,now?*sits on the bed*  Me:It was.  Itachi:What are you planning,Shana?  Me:Plan something?Nothing.I was just fed up with being underappreciated.You know very well how I am.  Itachi:It is because I know how you are,that I know you wouldn't have done anything of the sort,without a hidden reason.So,which is it?  Me:You will find out in due time,my dear.  Itachi:I must know now.  Me:I cannot.You wouldn't understand.You wouldn't accept it.  Itachi:And why wouldn't I?I thought I was quite the understanding person.I was under the impression that you had the same idea of me.  Me:It's not that...I just...  Itachi:Shana.Don't make me force it out of you.You know what I'm capable of. Me:You're not the only Dojutsu user,Itachi.  Itachi:I don't need the Sharingan for that.  Me:What do you- 

 He then pinned me on the bed,his face so close to mine that I could feel his breathe on my face as he was looking at me gently with his onyx eyes. 

Me:*soft smile*We haven't been this close in quite a while...I missed it.  Itachi:*holds my hands*It has,hasn't it.I apologize.   Taking off his hair tie,his pitch black hair fell in waves over his shoulder,draping over both our faces. The look on his face held sorrow and regret. I traced my hands over his bare arms,and rolled us on the side,so I could hold him in a warm embrace,playing with his hair.  He closed his eyes,with a peaceful expression on his face and a gentle,thankful smile. 

Itachi:If there is anything in this world that I desire most,is to stay like this with you,forever and know that both you and Sasuke are safe and sound.�� Me:I wish the same.So let's work for this goal.Together.You don't have to do this alone.You are not alone,and you will never be.  Itachi:Are you positive this plan won't be reckless enough to put you in danger?  Me:Positive enough.  Itachi:*smiles*I could never win an argument with your stubbornness.  Me:And you never will. 

 ------- 

How to talk...what to say...how do I convince him...  Maybe...if I persuade Konan,she could help me.She is his closest friend,so it might work.  She just wants peace,and all this damage and death they are creating might not be to her liking.  And I was right.  When I told her of the Peace Plan,she seemed intrigued.  The power of the Tailed Beasts must stay preserved withing their vessels. Nevertheless,we have to create a great havoc against all 5 of the countries,until they realize they stand no chance alone,and they must work together. Of course,I haven't told Konan and the Kage the same thing. It had to be...sugar-coated.  But it worked at least. So Konan talked to Pein,Pein had second thoughts,and together,we started 'Fake War' plan.  Gathering adepts.  And with Illusionary Jutsus and Powerful Genjutsu,we'll be able to trick everyone.

 --- 

The midnight moonlight was shining over us,as we were leaning on a Sakura tree,fingers intertwined,a peaceful atmosphere having settled. 

Itachi:Shana...  Me:Yes,Itachi?  Itachi:I have something to confess to you.  Me:What is it?  Itachi:The reason why I chose this path.A path of disgrace.  Me:Wasn't it so you could have Sasuke become the village hero?  Itachi:Indeed,but not only.  Me:Then?  Itachi:I have been overusing my Mangekyo too much...so much that I have been plagued by an unknown disease that is not only blinding me,but also killing me.  Me:*shocked*No way...  Itachi:I am sorry that I kept it a secret.But I wished to die,by my little brother's hand,knowing both of you are okay.  Me:You should have told me.You don't have to die!This can be cured.  Itachi:I highly doubt that-  Me:Our Hokage is the best medical-nin in history,what are you talking about?I don't want to hear it.  Itachi:Shana...  Me:You will come with me back to Konoha,and you will be cured.Don't ever think otherwise.  Itachi:Your optimism always helped me through my darkest times.I should have listened to you.  Me:Well,you better be thankful I told the Hokage to write that decree,otherwise none of this would have been possible.  Itachi:*soft chuckle*Then,would I be allowed to confess something else as well? Me:What?Another suicide self-mission?  Itachi:No.It's more of a...dream that I've had for a while.  Me:Fine then.Tell me,if that's what will make you happy.  Itachi:If your plan succeeds,and this Age of Wars is over,hopefully sooner...would you wish to marry me?  Me:R-Really?  Itachi:There is nothing else in this world that would make me happier.  Me:*hugs him*I could say the same.Yes,Itachi,I will marry you.At any time,in any life or world.I will.  Itachi:I'm glad there can still be happiness during times like these. 

 He kissed my forehead,smiling,holding me close to him,and we stayed there in a calming silence,bathing in the light of the Moon. 

 #####

The War was much more than anyone expected,especially because of the zounds of White Zetsus that kept attacking.  Honestly,I wasn't expecting any of this,but what was even worse...  Was the apparition of a reanimated Madara Uchiha. Nobody expected it. It couldn't have been the Kages OR The Akatsuki...so could it mean...Orochimaru? Damn that snake...messing everything up...  But I never thought he'd actually want to destroy the world?Didn't he want to become immortal or something?  Ridiculous... 

Madara:You puny humans think you can win against me and the Ultimate Plan?You think you will get Peace from this silly war planned by a silly girl?What did you tell them?How did you lie to them,to create this War?  Shana:What?!How are you even alive?!And why do you interfere even?!The world of the living is none of your business!Begone back to your eternal slumber!  Madara:What did you promise this idiots that they all decided to take up their arms and fight each other?Just as before,the other 3 Shinobi Wars,even the littlest reason could irked an entire Nation.  Shana:The plan was to create peace between the 5 Nations!Here,everyone united and fought as one for the same cause-Peace!So it IS possible!  Madara:Then,girl,I am the only obstacle against your sought objective.Eliminate me,and it is the end of the war.  Itachi:Shana,don't!You don't know what could happen-  Tsunade:Shana,I forbid you to fight Uchiha Madara on your own!We found no way to defeat him yet-  Shana:And what do you propose I do?!I cannot let all of you die here!I created this mondial mess,and somehow,I have to untangle all these knots of Despair that keep us tied in the same place.  Itachi:Uzumaki Shana,if you think I'm going to let you just go and get yourself killed like that-  Shana:You're not the only one who goes on suicide missions,Itachi.  Itachi:Shana,don't you dare-  Shana:Itachi,I love you,but shut up.You are one of the smartest people I've ever met in my life,so I know you,together with Shikaku,Shikamaru and the rest of the intelligence team,you'll be able to find a way to get rid of this reanimated demon once and for all.  Itachi:Please,don't do this to me.Don't just give me hope of a brighter future,then snatch it away right in front of my almost blind eyes. Shana:Make sure Sasuke forgives you.I'm sure he will,after the situation will be explained.The Uchiha brother have to be reunited.  Itachi:Shana- 

The girl cupped her lover's face,then jumped next to Madara,ready to die for what she believes in.  Countless hand-signs were thrown here and there,clones,paths,jutsus,and many perfectly aimed hits hit them both,however,only the girl seemed to receive any damage,and the reanimated man would recover in the blink of an eye.  She fought valiantly,but it was in vain,for her powers was draining at a fast pace,and no matter how strong she was,she couldn't keep up with a never-ending stamina.  The latest hit left her lying in a crater,unmoving and unblinking,much to everyone's dismay,but thankfully,her fiancé was not yet there to witness her fall.  Madara:Is that all?Easily.Hardly a challenge.Is this how fragile your Peace is,people?Is that how little you desire it?If so,then you are a bunch of submissive sheep meant to obey the laws imposed by the Supreme Ruler. 

His mocking words dripped with poison,as he took the girl by the neck and kept holding tighter and tighter,trying to break her wind pipe and not allowing her to breathe,despite her struggling.  To his confusion,the girl smirked,and raising an arm above her head,her other 5 hiding Paths managed to make the man let go of Shana,distracting him,as Itachi and Sasuke were approaching at the speed of light,preparing a joint sealing jutsu. It took the eldest Uchiha by surprise,and caught in the Elemental Ropes,TenTen used a Transportation scroll and took out a Sealing recipient,where Madara was to be forever sealed.  At the obvious success,everyone started cheering in glee and happiness at the beginning of a new era of Peace in the Shinobi World,where the Tyranny of Uchiha Madara was no more. 

As the girl was struggling to get back to her feet,her fiancé immediately rushed to her side and hugged the life out of her. 

Itachi:Never scare me like that again,Uzumaki Shana!  Shana:*soft smile*I'm sorry,love.  Itachi:You were right.I was never alone,and I shouldn't have tried to take everything on by myself.  Shana:Is it the right tine to say "I told you so"?  Itachi:*sighs*It is never the right time to say that.  Shana:I told you so~!  Itachi:*chuckles*I hope Tsunade is as good as you say she is,because she'll need to give us both our health.  Shana:I can vouch for her skills,my dear.  Itachi:Then,let's get home,after all this time.  Shana:Home...huh.It sounds like an eternity since we've last been home together.All three of us.  Itachi:All three of us...  Shana:Better train Sasuke next time he asks you to show him how to throw shurikens~.  Itachi:Shana,don't be ridiculous.  Shana:*smiles*You know I love you.  Itachi:I know,and I love you dearly as well.  Shana:*winks*The Wedding is in Spring,got it?  Itachi:So it shall be.All the sakura petals will flow in the wind and we will be happy together,after all this time kept apart.  Shana:We finally get our happy ever after. 

[ladykissingfish]

Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Eight // Kakuzu

What is with this group and wasting their free time doing such inane and pointless things? The old guy can think of at least 50 other activities (the majority of which involve making money) that everyone could be doing, rather than lining up to kiss each under a little green plant. When it’s his turn in the spotlight, he tries as hard as he can to back out of his “obligation” ... but Pein (and Kakuzu’s own persistent partner, Hidan) insist that Kakuzu participate. Kakuzu sighs and nods; he’s smart enough to know when he’s been defeated. However, Pein should know that Kakuzu will be adding a little extra money to his paycheck that week, for “hazard pay”.

Pein

Nagato was more interested in Kakuzu joining his group than any of the others. Immortality, money-sense, expertise and wisdom ... this is the man who survived the wars of the past. This is the man who survived the mighty Hashirama, God of all shinobi. Still, Nagato is no fool; he realizes that Kakuzu’s number one priority in life isn’t the Akatsuki, but money. Kakuzu would probably (and had likely thought about) betray them all in exchange for a tidy sum. So Nagato (as Pein) works to keep Kakuzu content enough to remain loyal, including making him the group’s treasurer and giving him complete control over everyone’s finances. And Kakuzu remains highly useful; strategizing, completing missions twice as fast (and ten times as efficient) as his younger teammates. Pein approaches Kakuzu and gives him a light kiss on the forehead, before returning to his room. He reminds himself to speak to Kakuzu later; he has some ideas about weapons he’d like to procure for the group, and needs to see if it would be financially feasible to do so.

Konan

Kakuzu genuinely likes Konan, and appreciates her company. Many men of Kakuzu’s generation were raised on the belief system that women were solely meant to be wives, child-bearers, and home-makers; to call a female a ninja was deemed unthinkable. But Kakuzu was a rarity in that he never saw this as being the case; man or woman, one’s inner strength was all that mattered in regards to being a shinobi. He’s spoken with Konan at length about her childhood, and the trauma she endured, and he knows that this little blue-haired lady is a sight tougher than a LOT of people (and Kakuzu’s met quite a few in his long life). Konan walks up to him and he smiles; it’s rare for Kakuzu to smile, but Konan brings it out of him. “Good evening, Kakuzu-san. I think it’s my turn.” He nods, and slips off his mask so that his lips are exposed. He leans down and very, very gently kisses her cheek. Her blushing skin is soft and her smile is beautiful as she thanks him and steps away, to let the next person go.

Kisame

Nobody knows this about Kakuzu (and he fears he would be mocked if they did), but the old guy puts a lot of emphasis on the idea of exercise. Five hearts is a lot of responsibility, and staying healthy is how Kakuzu intends to keep living forever. So every night, when the others are asleep and after he’s done with his reading, he’ll spend some time in his room exercising. One night Kisame passed by his open door and saw him using a pair of heavy books as make-shift weights. The next evening Kisame came to Kakuzu’s room with a set of real barbells , which he casually gave to Kakuzu with the admonition not to overdo it. Kakuzu greatly appreciated the gesture (and the unspoken support), and the two have been good friends ever since. But ... a kiss between them would just be too strange, so Kisame comes up with a better option: an arm-wrestling match, Kisame grabs the kitchen table and two chairs and sets them up under the mistletoe. Of course the rest of the Akatsuki gathers to watch, hooting and hollering and placing bets on who will win. Kisame and Kakuzu are both fairly evenly matched, so that challenge goes on for a while. Finally, with a final grunt of exertion, Kakuzu is able to slam Kisame’s hand into the table. Everyone claps, and Kisame laughs and tells Kakuzu that he’s “one tough son of a bitch”; high compliment coming from a man who was half-shark.

Itachi

Out of all the members of the Akatsuki, Itachi was by far the least problematic of the younger ones. Quiet, thoughtful, quick and efficient in completing missions. And polite; always forthcoming with “please” and “thank you”, and never failing to use honorifics with the others, even though some of them (ie Deidara and Hidan) don’t show him that same respect back. One time Kakuzu had caught a cold that stubbornly hung on for several days. Itachi came to his room every day with a cup of congestion-easing tea, something that Kakuzu didn’t ask for, but greatly appreciated nonetheless. Itachi comes up to him and nods. “Kakuzu-san.” “Itachi-san.” Itachi leans up and gives him a light kiss to the cheek, and Kakuzu is struck by a particular urge — to hug this kid. Something about him, perhaps everything about him, seems like a cry for parental love and affection. Kakuzu resists this odd impulse, but Itachi seems to sense that it’s something he wanted, because he leans over again and very briefly puts his arms around the older man. “Thank you,” he murmurs, before walking away. Kakuzu watches him go, slightly shaking his head.

Tobi

Tobi gives Kakuzu an uneasy feeling deep within his heart(s). Running around, speaking loudly, eating nothing but candy and sweets, acting like a complete fool — it’s an act. Kakuzu has never been more convinced of anything in his life. The only question is, why is Tobi putting on this act? To deceive them all into a false sense of security, before striking? Kakuzu has hunted bounties a good deal of his life, and a lot of the more difficult ones to catch have acted EXACTLY the way Tobi does, in order to throw off potential bounty hunters. Kakuzu learned to see through them, the same way he sees through Tobi. But to tip one’s hand and give away what you know is unthinkable in the chase and capture game, so Kakuzu never lets on what he actually believes. “Oh boy Kakuzu-san; does Tobi get a kissy now?!” Kakuzu nods, and Tobi slides his mask halfway off (Kakuzu notes the lines on the side of his face; accident, most likely. Possibly a disfiguring one) and the strange glint of his eye. Before Tobi can act, Kakuzu puts a hand on his face and kisses his forehead. “There. Now go.” Tobi slides the mask back on and hurries away with his usual chatter and giggling, and Kakuzu reminds himself to loom through the bingo book later for bounties with visible scarring on the left side of the face.

Zetsu

Five hearts means more blood needed to sustain said hearts. More blood means a stronger scent. A stronger scent means ... Kakuzu smells delicious to someone like Zetsu. Zetsu approaches him and looks around quickly; the two are alone. His brain runs through every possible scenario in which he could successfully kill and eat Kakuzu. He’s victorious in a few ... but most end with him mutilated by the man’s tentacles, and having to face the wrath of Pein on top of everything else. So he simply sighs, flicks out his tongue to taste the saltiness of Kakuzu’s cheek, and walks away again. Just that one taste was almost enough to make zetsu throw restraint to the wind and eat his fill, so he leaves before he can do anything he’ll regret. Kakuzu wipes off his cheek in mild disgust ... in a group full of freaks, Zetsu certainly seemed to take the cake.

Deidara

Kakuzu still remembers the day they brought this kid into the group. And that’s exactly what he was; a kid. Barely 15 years old, with a powerful “gift”, and full of anger at a village he felt betrayed him in not trying to understand his unique sense of ‘art’. Fast forward several years later and Deidara had changed, and most of that change was the better. Kakuzu could only surmise that the kid matured due to the constant council and guidance of his older and wiser partner Sasori; Kakuzu feels mildly jealous that Sasori was able to reign some measure of improvement over HIS young partner, but Kakuzu couldn’t do a thing with Hidan. Still, though, even Sasori hadn’t been able to completely tame the kid, as evidenced by Deidara managing to get BOTH arms blown off in a tussle with some Konoha nin. Kakuzu had been tasked with sewing his new arms back on, but to the kids credit, despite his painful the procedure had been, he didn’t utter a sound. Had even thanked Kakuzu, twice, afterwards. Deidara walks up to him and looks almost shy; 19 years old now and still with the face of a child. Kakuzu leans down and kisses the kid’s forehead, again noting his soft and smooth — and LONG — his hair was. It sways as Deidara walks away, and Kakuzu wonders how much he could get for those luscious locks, from the right buyer.

Sasori

Respect. Out of all the words that Kakuzu could use to describe how he felt about Sasori, Respect was at the top of the list. And the funny thing was, Kakuzu hadn’t even met the REAL Sasori until almost a year of being in the Akatsuki. The two had been sent on a mission, and at night, near the campfire, a soft metal sound made Kakuzu turn his head. It was a small, slender redhead, emerging from the being that Kakuzu had THOUGHT was a real person. The two had looked at each other for a while, and then started a game of cards as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As time went on, the two became closer. They both shared an interest in/knowledge of medical jutsu and procedures, and would often come to one another with questions or with articles on different medicines. Kakuzu nods at him as he walks up, and Sasori does the same. He thinks about it, bends down and kisses Sasori’s left cheek, and Sasori smiles at him, bidding him a quiet Good Evening before going back to his room.

Hidan

“Hey old fuck; you’ve been dying to get your hands on my sexy body all day, haven’t ya, pervert?” Kakuzu would roll his eyes at Hidan’s comment, but at this point, he’s ridiculously used to the things his partner says and does. As he looks at Hidan’s face, he wonders, and not for the first time, whether this is a punishment of sorts. Gaining five hearts and creating a kind of immortality only came for Kakuzu at the end of a long and bloody road, one paved with the unwilling sacrifices of other people. Was it Fate, that the Gods had put THIS man, this loud, overbearing, foul-mouthed heathen, into his path? And as the one person who just might be immortal, too? Hidan often joked about “When all these other assholes bite the big one, me and you might as well get married, bastard.” But what in the world was he saying? Surely he was joking; why would someone as young and attractive as Hidan want to be with Kakuzu? Kakuzu who was heaven knows how many times Hidan’s age, and — “So we gonna slobber each other or what?” “You’ve got a big mouth, brat. Learn to shut up once in a while.” “MAKE me shut up, fuck-face.” So Kakuzu grabs Hidan around the waist, tilts him back, and sinks into his lips. Kakuzu’s mouth is rough and scarred but Hidan’s is smooth and soft, and the contrast creates a dizzying effect for both men. Hidan grasps Kakuzu’s shoulders tighter, leaving slight nail-prints in Kakuzu’s flesh. Their lips are touching but in this moment it feels like everything is touching, even their very souls (if either of them still had one, that is). When Kakuzu finally breaks the kiss and pulls Hidan back up, the white-haired immortal seems fairly disorientated ... but that doesn’t stop his mouth. “You’re an even bigger pervert than I thought, old fuck. Who the hell said you could stick your tongue in my mouth?? And why —” Kakuzu suddenly reaches out and grabs Hidan’s face with both hands, this time pulling him forward into a very soft, closed-mouth kiss. “Better?” Instead of a smartass answer, Hidan simply nods; and now he’s smiling as he walks away. If he were to turn around at any point, he’d surely gasp; because Kakuzu’s smile was even bigger than Hidan’s own. “Stupid kid,” Kakuzu mutters to himself, still smiling as he makes his way back to his room.

[ayazuri]

Routine

I think I can call this piece sort of a “thank you” gift to amazing @actuallydeglace, who introduced me to DeiIno and inspired the awakening of my will to create (partly because I became DeiIno trash and I’m not pleased with the amount of DeiIno content. So I participate in creating it!). Sooo, thank you for the I-don’t-know-which time because I’m enormously grateful and I hope you enjoy your little gift ;)

Sometimes you find love in the most unlike place. Sometimes you fall for a person you weren’t supposed to fall for. But sometimes it just feels right.

DeiIno modern!AU

She really had no idea how their relationship worked. To be honest, she wasn’t even sure if she could call it a relationship.

Ever since their first encounter all interactions they shared went – more or less – by following pattern: on Friday night they met at a club, danced like mad drinking their heads out in between songs. Then, they usually started yelling at each other without any particular reason and their fight (in nine cases out of ten) ended in somebody’s apartament (usually her apartement). They spent weekend together, rarely doing anything more than having sex. On Monday morning she always woke up alone in bed. As the week went by, they exchanged tons of sarcastic, pissy text messages in which they called each other names. And the cycle repeated on and on, endlessly.

It was more than convenient at the beginning. She had been in multiple relationships before and had gone through a whole lot nasty break-ups, and she really wasn’t looking for anything which involved commitment. ‘’Friends with benefits’’ seemed to be the best way out of this situation. Although they never once spoke about their expectations towards each other (if there were any), she was almost sure he perceived things the very same way.

She only realized that there actually might be something more to this, when  their little routine was interrupted. It happened some time around after Christmas. He didn’t show up at the club as usual. Not on Friday, nor Saturday, nor Sunday (before that she had never gone there at any other day than Friday). She found herself waiting for any sign from him. But none came, not even during the week. In her mind she painted the most frightening scenarios.

‘You should have ended this earlier. Now you will only get hurt’ was all her best friend had to say.

But she couldn’t care less. She clung to her belief, that there was no way he could have left. Deep down inside she knew he had no reason to stay as well – they never really established, what was that they actually shared. And when she was on her way to the club next Friday, she felt her heart ache at the very thought he might not be there. But he was and everyhting was as always. He mentioned nothing about his absence and she didn’t ask. There was no point in asking anyway.

Even though everything went on unchanged after that, she knew that nothing would be the same, at least not for her. But she couldn’t find the courage to speak up her mind. She was afraid, thet everything would fall to pieces. She was too afraid to lose him, even if he never was hers. So she continued on with their routine, pretending that there was nothing wrong.

And as the sleep was slowly washing away on another Monday morning, she knew she would wake up to the empty space beside her. But after a while she found herself wrapped in comforting warmth. Her heart skipped a beat, sleepiness left her immediately. With her eyes wide open, she tried to shift ever so slightly. Strong arms that were embracing her, tightened. She felt herself trembling.

‘Well, well, looks like Ino the sleeping beauty is awake at last, hn.’ she heard him chuckle. She inhaled deeply before she spoke, afraid that her voice would break.

‘Deidara’ she started, then swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘What are you doing here? Don’t you have work or something?’

He snorted.

‘Oh, shut up before I really regret I stayed here.’

There was a long silence, before Ino gathered a courage to ask this one question that was racing through her head.

‘So… Are you going to stay here for… for a longer time?’

‘Yeah...yeah, I suppose so, hn.’

And she was perfectly fine with that.

[tomato-x-ramen]

RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME

Tagged by: @offansandflames​ 

1- If would be a fantasy character, what class would you have?

A mage? I’ve always been curious about magic <3.

2- Your outfit style? Depends on the mood. It’s hot here in the Philippines... so a good comfy shirt and shorts for casual. A little bit of smart-casual if needed... like dress or skirts. We have uniforms for work <3

3- What in people you are attracted and what in people you are repelled? I actually don’t know? I usually don’t talk to people first unless they talk to me... but if we have something in common... then it could be the bridge between us. I usually stay if you’re neither an asshole nor a perv.

4- Describe a perfect date for you.

Uhmmmmm... coffee date? Art date?

5- Which Naruto clan would you want to be in if you were in Naruto? Uzumaki. Definitely Uzumaki. I want the red hair.

6- Describe yourself in three noun-words. This is difficulttttt uhhh........ Listener, Dreamer... Believer

7- Your favorite fastfood? Wendy’s? It’s fast food, right?

8- If we met with you in the real life, what would we do?^___^ Uhmmm... talk about life? Hahaha. I’m a boring person in real life. I’m the type to sit inside a coffee shop for 7 hours just day dreaming, thinking of what to draw next... think of headcanons that will never find the light of day. So... if you’re in for that... then maybe we can do that. HAHA.

I’m not the leader-type... I tend to go with the flow... depending to what people like to do. haha.

9- Which category do/did you consider yourself to be in when in school? eg: Sporty/Artistic/Nerd ect. Sporty and Nerd. Haha. I used to play in Taekwondo Nationals. I was a pretty good player back then. I get good grades too.

10- What is your favourite (or top 3) fandoms you’re in? And do you regret joining them? SasuNaruSasu, Touken Ranbu... and Haikyuu. FINANCIALLY SPEAKING I DO REGRET IT.

11- How and when did you get into Naruto? Maybe around 2005ish or 2006ish? My cousins like it and they told me to watch it. It became our bonding moment when we were young.

12- Top 5 Naruto couples or characters? Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, Deidara and Karin.

13- What was the best compliment you’ve received? I don’t know. HAHAHAHA. Honestly speaking... I really don’t know.

14- What’s something horrible that everyone should try at least once? uhhhhh......?????? I do not like doing horrible and scary things. I don’t even like rollercoasters <///3

15- What fictional place would you most like to go? Definitely Hogwarts... and the Shire....

16- What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? I GOT PANCAKES. Despite the fact that I was stuck in the hospital. I still got pancakes.

17- Do you hate pineapple on pizza? Or hate any other foods? Dude that’s my fave <3 I’m not fond of sweets.... <//3

18- Who are your top heroes? My parents? I love them... they’re so cool.... I hope to make them proud someday.

19- What do you love about yourself most? Physically...? My hair. HAHAHA. Other than that... I don’t know... I think of myself as a kind person tho...? I like that I have faith in life... and that I believe that something good will always happen to us.

20- Do you have any personal mottos? "Everything happens for a reason”

[aprito]

SasoSaku Xmas Collab

notes modern college au bc im a sucker for cute couple holidays and cringy refs to social media. sasori and sakura have a 2 yr age difference. collab with the amazingly talented and super sweet friend YakumoDT!! you can find them on Pixiv and Twitter and they are definitely worth checking out!!!

AO3 || FFnet

…

…

…

“Wait, keep the door open!” Sakura shouts from the other side of the subway entrance towards an elderly man planning to enter the transport, dragging a very, very out-of-breath Sasori behind her. She enters into a sprint, and successfully manages to close in on the door before it could close in on them.

Sakura quickly thanks the man before sitting down in the relatively empty wagon, and Sasori plops into the seat beside her, struggling to breathe properly through the stitches he must undoubtedly be suffering through right now. Looking around, Sasori concludes that no one of knowledge was around to see him in - what he loved to say - this despicable state, and he lays his head on her shoulder to continue his recovery from near death.

“We wouldn’t have to run if you had told me earlier you wanted to go to the park, y’kno.” Sakura crosses one of her legs over the other, taking out her smartphone in a course of habit.   The startup sound is loud, and she briefly flinches at the echo in the wagon. Damn, forgot the headphones, again. “It’s on the other side of the bridge, after all.”

Sasori doesn’t reply through his irregular breathing – but he probably would if he could.

Sakura was feeling less exhausted than she should, considering they’ve been walking around the city for hours now, stuffed to the brim with dinner and the cakes after, and she hasn’t visited the gym in a good while this season.

Sasori, well–

Let’s just say that Sasori wasn’t enthusiastic about any sport clubs at their University.

“I mean,” Sakura punches the password combination in with one hand while Sasori worms his hand around her other, his eyes glued to a poster about a famous drama stuck to the wall across from the duo. “I wouldn’t have guessed you to be so spontaneous twice in the span of-” A brief calculation of the time between the end of November and today. ”Three weeks.”

In fact, Sasori was the exact opposite of spontaneous, planning all of his projects and events so thoroughly in advance it even kind of helped Sakura improve on her procrastination habits; not that she was all that bad on waiting for deadlines, but she snuck in breaks more often than she likes to admit here and there. Needless to say, she was surprised when he brought up the idea of a date around Christmas, right after she informed him of such event.

The only sound cutting through the quiet was the intercom, informing them that they’re five stops away from their destination, and Sakura opts for silence for the rest of the ride. It wasn’t that she particularly enjoyed the peace  - especially when she was around friends; her need to fill empty spaces with new bits of conversation was an equally stubborn habit of hers -, but the streets of Tokyo just loved to blast whatever fits the mood in this season as loudly as they can over speakers – and on a long term, sometimes a free day at home alone was a needed luxury. The subway in comparison is almost like a liminal space, save for the occasional robotic announcements and opening of doors.  

Sasori doesn’t seem to mind either – but that was expected of his person, anyways.

He nudges her shoulder when their respective stop is announced, and the station is completely devoid of any living souls when they exit the Subway, no doubt that everyone was to be found on the other side of the bridge. Sakura takes the time to shoot a picture of the ghost scenery, and Sasori scoffs.

“Instagram?”

“Duh.”

The park isn’t any better in that regards, but the few streetlights and beautiful scenery of the city across from the river they were near at make up for it.

“Thank you for the dinner, by the way. That was really sweet of you.” Sakura says, scrolling through her social media feed not touched in approximately two days. Pictures of her friends amongst cakes and pets, some choosing to stay inside while others were spending time with their significant others. “Will you let me brag?”

“I don’t even look as presentable as you do in this state.” Sasori huffs beside her, puffs of air disappearing into the dark night, his face reddening from the biting frost. He’s always been more prone to colder temperatures than her, which was no surprise when you knew the south was currently sporting 20°C and above in December. “So, no.”

“Aw, you think I look good.” Sakura doesn’t look up from her phone, but she can clearly imagine the frown adorning her boyfriend’s face.

“Quiet.” His gloved hand around her tightens, and she smiles. Her humor is short lived, however, when Sasori grabs her pink beanie in a swift moment of distraction.

“Hey-” she cuts in, being surprised at all, but her complaint is muted when she sees how utterly ridiculous it looks poorly adjusted on his head, seeing as he was only using one hand to put it on.  She huffs, putting her phone away to help him put the beanie on, properly. They’re nearly the same height to begin with, so it poses less of a problem.

Sasori’s warm breath fans against her face, and she’s aware that protesting his theft is futile.  “Pink really suits you. You’re cute.”

“I’m cold.” Sasori corrects when she pats her hand on his head, beanie successfully covering those red ears of his. She can make out vague mutterings of ‘didn’t bring mine’ when they close their hands back together, and she rolls her eyes at his antics.

“You mean you keep forgetting to bring the ones you stole from me.”

“That is such a harsh wording.”  His lips twitch into what almost passes for a smile. “I borrowed them because pink looks good on me, obviously. I fail to understand your lack of empathy in that situation.”

“Uh-huh.” Her tone is laced with sarcasm, but his silly reply makes her smile all the same. “I can’t believe you’re already graduating in a few months with that attitude.”

“And I-” He nods towards a path that lead a bit astray from the riverside, and they continue their walk into that direction. “Cannot fathom how you still have two years ahead of you.”

Far more if she decided to specialise further, but for now becoming a surgeon was a pretty good plan to accomplish within six years. She squeezes his hand, and he turns his head to look at her.

“Well, if you hadn’t quit medical school.” And didn’t need the money to from tutoring freshmen, like me. “We probably wouldn’t have met in the first place.”

Sasori hums, but his expression doesn’t seem all that regretful. “It just wasn’t the thing for me.”

“I still remember the campus headline about the star student who poisoned cadavers and openly shit-talked my professor in front of everyone just to get kicked off the program. I still wonder who that was?”

Knowing Sasori for a good while now, the culprit didn’t seem to be that far off the mark. She laughs as he shoves her half-heartedly to the side, him being banned from her campus surely a fine reminder of his stint. That didn’t stop him from picking her up once in a while, of course.

“I have to admit, if my mother ever found out I quit medical school for art, she’d surely kick me out of the house. Remember how horrified she was when you admitted it to her?”

“She called me a low life and a freeloader.” His face turns grim at the memory, and she can’t blame him for it, the utter hostility her mother radiated at the dinner table a sight in itself.

“Mom barely missed you with the butter knife, too.”

Sasori shrugs, and Sakura wishes the memory of that humiliating evening would eventually escape her mind as quickly as possible. But hey, at least Dad likes him and his tragically bad puns.

They come to stop before a bench that seemed to not have been used at all, today, and Sasori uses his foot to kick the powdery snow off the surface. It remains as quiet as when they entered the park, streetlamps being the only source of light, and the absence of any curious glances feels vaguely foreign to her.

“To be fair” Sasori begins, their hands still clasped together, their bodies squished close for a tiny bit of shared warmth. “I didn’t expect us to work out either, at the beginning.”

His comment completely throws her out of the loop, and she’s ready to question his line of logic, when he cuts into her own thought before it can escape her mouth. “I’m not ungrateful, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I don’t think we didn’t turn out to be that different from each other, if that’s what you assumed.” She replies, her eyes focused on a streetlamp in front of her instead of the man beside her, but she can see the brief confusion crossing his face, out of the corner of her eye. “I mean, you rubbed off on me a lot, too. Take the sarcasm, for example.”

Sasori snorts. “Bad example.”

“You’re right, we’re also both prone to get cold feet whenever I suggest love hotels.”

“That is even worse.”

“You’re right, how about that one time Deidara nearly walked in on us and we-”

“How did I survive this for four years, again?”

She moves to tap his nose, and he sticks out the tip of his tongue in response. “You deserve four medals of honor, soldier.”

“I deserve a lifetime supply of medals.” He mimics her movements, but opts to pinch her cheek instead, and when he draws his hand back, there’s small chunks of highlighter on his dark gloves. So much for that wonder setting spray.

The past few months flash before her, and as if on cue, she feels oddly melancholic.

“It’s been nearly four years already, huh.” She rests her head on his shoulder, knowing that the mere thought of it shouldn’t be making her depressed, but here it is, crawling it’s way into her mind on restless nights. “I can’t believe you’re going to New York, after this. I always wanted to go there.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to see it, someday.” Sasori is tracing her gloved knuckles with his fingers, but he doesn’t look at her.

She would love to punch herself for her moods, sometimes.

“Promise me you’ll call me at least once a day.” A beat. “Facetime. On Skype.”

“Is American Internet even good enough to sustain the distance?” Sasori’s tone is light, and she’s tempted to box him just for that horrible implication.

She’s glad that he isn’t able to see her from this angle, but she can feel the familiar sting of tears swelling her eyes. Shit.

“I’ll miss you.”

“Sakura, are you crying?” He’s probably heard the irregularity in her voice, damn it.

“I’m just” She separates their hands to wipe her eyes before they can expose her any further. “I’m just really happy for you, that’s all.”

“Ah, about that, actually.” Sasori’s blank expression is mostly in place, of course, but he avoids her gaze, and she’s rarely seen him nervous around her. “I contacted my manager the other day, and called the deal off.”

Sakura’s eyes widen, and she’s utterly dumbfounded at the statement.

…

“What?!” She has to get up just to process her thoughts, because she can’t believe what she just heard. “Why?!”

Sasori looks equally caught off by her reaction, and he buries his hand in the pockets of his outer coat, his body leaning against the bench, relaxed. “I didn’t want to do it.”

It’s not sadness that’s ruling the forefront of her mind right now, but indignation.

“What are you, 12?!” She says, her nails digging into her palms, her loud voice cutting sharp through the quiet, empty environment. “You can’t just call off your future!”

“The decisions mine to make, Sakura.” A beat. “I’m an adult as much as you are.”  

She’s not angry at his attitude – tries not to be – but it’s hard when Sasori looks so completely detached from it. He grabs her wrist, suddenly, and she’s back on the bench, fuming.

“I just turned 24.” He begins, brushing a strand of pink hair that’s hanging flat in front of her face to the side. “I have a good amount of sponsors and commissioners in Japan to begin with. Throwing that away would be just as pointless. Besides” He meets her gaze, and his eyes are devoid of any hesitance. “I wouldn’t want to go where you can’t follow.”

A sense of guilt washes over her anger, and she breaks the eye contact to watch the fresh fall of snow.

He can’t leave because I’m stuck here.

“But…didn’t you say yourself how hard these opportunities were to even come by?”

“They’ll come by again.” He huffs. “You’re more important than my paycheck.”

A drag. You’re a drag, Sakura.  

“Why don’t you just break up with me then?” She can’t believe she’s even blurted that out now, but her mouth has always it’s way of getting her into regretful decisions. “That way you don’t have to-” She’s getting teary again. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

Sasori doesn’t seem stunned by her suggestion, however, and the thing’s said faster than her ability to jump into worse confessions. “I believe a proposal would be the complete opposite intention, though.”

“You can call your manager and- wait-”

Did he just-

“What?”

Sasori’s answer is just as elegant as her’s. “Uh, yeah. I-” He seems to fumble for words, almost as if he was flustered. “I want to get married. To you.” He tacks on, like she required a clarification.

The snowflakes are uncaring to the deafening silence around them, and several catch in strands of red hair that poke out of his beanie. Sasori’s pretty brown eyes are glued to her, and she’s sure he’s actually waiting for some sort of response.

Sakura’s face feels warm, and she’s sure that she must be looking like a tomato. The tears she’s been holding back, however, flow freely, grazing her chin and ending in her scarf.

“I hate you so much, right now.” She sniffs, her vision blurring. That’s the last thing she expected to happen, god.

Sasori’s regarding her with worry, and his hands freeze in mid-air, unsure if he should grant her comfort or distance; but her tears weren’t rooted in anger, or sadness, not at all.

“I….I guess if you don’t want to-”

But before he knows it, Sakura buries her face into the crook of his neck and wraps her arms around his shoulders, her voice coming out muffled.

“Of course I want to.”

Arms rest around her torso, and she feels his breath tickling her ear. When she’s calmed her own breathing, he speaks. “Let’s do this properly, then.”

Sasori moves to stand before her while she blows her nose with a tissue, and when he feels that she’s fully  back on track, he coughs into his hand to get her attention. Her eyes are straining to keep themselves open in the biting cold, but something inside of her cracking and bleeding warmth is making her even more jittery.

Sakura hasn’t been this nervous since entering medical school.

Slowly, in all his grace, Sasori – the ever so bashful, arrogant, proud Sasori – lowers his legs until he’s kneeling  front of her, one foot propped on the ground to give him balance in the snow, resembling nothing less but a prince from a distant kingdom wishing to whisk her away in the dead of the night.

He takes her gloved hand with both of his, gently, and she blushes.

“Will you, Sakura Haruno, marry me?” he says, and the words are melodic to her ears – this was her fairytale story.

“A thousand times” She surely must look awful, her makeup smeared and her smile reaching from ear to ear, but there wasn’t anything in this world that would ruin her mood. “Yes.”

He gestures her not to move, fumbling for something in the pockets of his coat, and she patiently waits in anticipation, her hands propped on her knees. He narrows his eyes as he pats around his body impatiently, before realisation finally hits him. He swears quietly, and she’s already knowing what must have happened.

“I… left the ring in the wrong coat, in my Apartment. We have to go back right n-” Sasori is interrupted as Sakura tackles him into the snow, effectively knocking all air out of his lungs. Sakura doesn’t let him collect his bearings as she moves on her own accord, lowering her face until their lips touch.  He hugs her, and they embrace each other, there, in the snow, without a care in the world. It’s not until they run out of air that they part, and she speaks.

“I truly hate you so much, right now.”

There are no fireworks, no grande festival, no masses to share this moment with, but Sasori’s smiling at her, and she wouldn’t trade this view for anything else in this life.

“And I love you, you absolute mess.”

She laughs, teary, and sweeps in for another kiss.

When they’re back on the subway, having caught the last train, Sakura stares at the red string tied around her finger, Sasori’s temporary alternative, said hand intertwined back with Sasori’s and she’s longing to squish the last of her doubts.

“Is this really okay? Not going abroad, I mean.”

“Hey, I surely won’t starve if I were to marry the brilliant future doctor and show-off, Sakura Haruno.”

“Oh, shush you.”