#Decided for more of an inbetween of those two

[chibigalaxies]

New potential au? Calling him Small Town Sonic!

[wolfies-toys]

I've been sitting on this pattern and tutorial for a while now! so time to finally share it with you! I was lamenting that the jellycat pip and sugar mice were long retired and difficult to get your hands on unless you are willing to pay much more than they retailed for each mouse, so i decided to try and eyeball a pattern and make some myself! they're not exact as i only used constructed visual references but they're close! please note that this pattern set is intended for personal use only. Rough tutorial under the cut!

This pattern is for printing onto A4 but you can check your scale with the measurements I've provided or just play around with how big or small you want to try and make them! i didn't really get any wip photos of pip mouse but it's method is largely the same with the nose being the major change, which i will detail in text in the instructions below.

for sugar mouse i would recommend using polar fleece as it will act the right way for the ears to do their squishy marshmallow looking thing. but minky should also work or other similar fabrics! for pip mouse if you can find a similar curly looking fabric with a thin backing that'll be ideal but fleece will also work well, you just wont get the furry texture, you want a fabric with a little bit of stretch to it. i however would not recommend fabrics like felt or non stretch cotton for these guys as it's likely to not take shape the same as there's no give to the fabric.

once you have printed out the pattern and cut the pieces in your fabric, you'll want to sew the ears up and turn them inside out, then put them aside for later. just leave them as is for now but here you can see i was playing around with pinching the turned through ear into shape.

Then moving on, sew the back pieces together along the spine and front of face. you then want pull the bottom open ends apart gently and place the open sides flat up against the base piece so that they're aligned, it can be good to pin this in place so it doesn't shift.

then, get your tail rope, and tie a knot at either end, placing the base of it inbetween the seam at the butt so that it'll sit in the right place, then sew the seam up directly with the tail in place, make sure you sew through the rope to secure it and make sure it doesnt shift. Sew around the bases seam leaving a hole in one side so that you can then turn your mouse through.

once turned through you will want to stuff your mouse with polyfill quite a bit so it takes shape! i like to put weighted beans in mine for extra effect, you can use dried rice or wheat too, just sew a little circle pouch a bit smaller that the mouses base with scrap fabric and fill and seal! then insert into the turning hole while you stuff. once stuffing is done you can sew the hole up with a ladder stitch. the weight from the beads will allow your mouse to sit up quite well.

next you will want to get those ears you put aside, take each corner and bring the ends together in the middle. then sew them gently together at the ends with one or two stitches in about the same spot. you want them to look 3d so dont sew the ends to the back of the ear, just end to end so they meet in the center.

Then pin the ears in place on the head

then you need to ladder stitch the ears in place while they're pinned so they dont shift around, go all the way around the outside edge of each.

now you're almost done! next they just need a face! sugar mouse only needs embroidery by way of a french knot for both the eyes and nose (you can find good video tutorials on how to sew a french knot online), pip mouse will also need a french knot for the eyes but has a separate process for it's nose. (for the pip mouses nose you will need to leave the marked nose hole open and then stitch the nose fabric to the square nose backing in line with the dotted direction on the pattern, (it should look kind of baggy when it's unstuffed) sew it up completley with no hole, then cut a tiny slit in the backing and add polyfill there before closing with a basic stitch, then you ladder stitch the nose directly to the marked nose hole)

in order to hide the embroidery anchor knots i find the best way is to start by going down through the middle of the ears and then coming back up where you want the eye to be, and then going back down and up through the ear for the finishing knot, as it creates a very easy cover for them and looks nice and clean!

then you have yourself a little buddy!

haha they're great to squish! if you use this pattern i'd love to see your results!

[backwardsbread]

Hazbin Hotel Characters:

~Marriage proposals~

Warnings‼️: genderneutral!reader, established relationship, characterxreader, lots of fluff, Valentino existing, mentions of cannibals/cannibalism, possessive behavior, pet names used, mentions of divorce, some swearing.

A/N: How would the Hazbin hotel characters propose! I might do a vise versa, where reader proposes. But this one is the characters proposing to YOU. Enjoy~!

This is pretty long- I don’t know how to find word count, but if anyone wants more, drop a request :))

?Semi proofread?

Lucifer:

This man is a NERVOUS WRECK.

When he realizes he wants to marry you, he lowkey panics. Starts acting like you guys just now started dating.

He’s super anxious, trying to impress you, and prove that he’s good enough for you.

(Whether he’s trying to prove that to you, or himself, is up for debate.)

The two of you met on a whim. You didn’t really know it was the king of hell you were talking to when you first met.

How could this be the king?? He was so goofy. His playful demeanor immediately drew you in.

With even learning about how Lucifer was, it didn’t stop those fuzzy feelings towards him that bubbled in your chest.

It took him a long time to even get into a relationship with you, due to him being caught up in his past with Lillith.

But overtime, your affection is what gets him through the tough days.

He gets all flustered and embarrassed at your sweet gestures, trying to hide the fact that he’s realizing he wants you to always only be his.

As we know, he had a previous marriage and that commitment failed him before. He had a right to feel nervous of the subject that once bruised his soul.

But in his heart, he truly knows this is what he wants. He wants to spend his eternity with you if you allowed him to.

When the thought has finally settled, and he knows he’s ready to try marriage again, it doesn’t settle his nerves.

This has to be PERFECT-

He needs the perfect ring, the perfect setting, the perfect outfit. All of which he had easy access to, he is the king afterall.

Yet, nothing seems to be perfect enough. Nothing is enough, nothing he can think of matches how strong his feelings are for you.

Once he thinks he’s decided on what will be perfect, he ditches the idea to try and come up with something better.

He consults Charlie on this issue a lot. Including her in this is very important to him. He makes sure she’s comfortable with the idea of him being married to someone who wasn’t her mother.

Charlie is a bit put off by the idea, it’s strange to think about. She never thought of her father getting remarried, but the thought doesn’t necessary upset her. She’s more worried about history repeating itself.

Overall, she wants her father to be happy, and helps him prepare for the proposal in any way she can.

(Mostly moral support because this guy is in emotional turmoil over this.)

He’s in a constant inbetween of if this was the right thing to do. Was it too soon in your guys relationship? Was it too soon after his divorce? Would you even want to spend the rest of your damnation with the one who started it all?

With heavy encouragement and reassurance from Charlie, he finally has the guts to ask you the big question.

But….. when he takes you out on the date where he meant to propose…

He chickens out. (Or ducks out haha)

“It is quite beautiful tonight.. you know I love you, right?……. Good! Yeah-! U-Uh-.. oh my golly! Look at the time! How that darn old thing does fly-Haha! W-We should head home!- boy am I tired-!”

Rinse and repeat this process a handful of times.

You do start to get a bit skeptical of your partners behavior. You guys had been going on extremely fancy dates at least once a week.

And while you had no complaints on spending time with Lucifer, you did notice his strange behavior.

The way his mood would incline before your guys’ date, and then suddenly decline when it was over. Then having to take the rest of the week to heal his pride.

It was just a big rollercoaster of emotions. You were starting to worry you were the cause of his stress.

(I mean. Technically you were)

During one of his many attempts in asking you, he had already internally given up when he stumbled over his words in the middle of dinner.

Your date was coming to a close, and like clockwork, Lucifer’s chipper mood deteriorated.

His shoulders slumped, he was pouty, and dragging his feet on the way back to the castle.

Before the two of you can enter, you grab Lucifer’s hand, stopping him. He gives you a confused look, posture straightening to look at you.

You give him small pecks all over his face, in hopes to cheer him up from whatever was troubling him.

Your actions have the affect you were hoping for, as he laughs and steals your lips into his own, a wide smile on his face as he rests his hands on your waist.

His nerves seemed to dissipate as he felt an overwhelming sense of security and love for you.

His body was moving before his mind could keep up. The moment just felt right.

He pulls away from your shared embrace, reaching into his pocket, and getting down on one knee. He opens the ring box, revealing the glimmering jewelry within it.

You look at him in shock and he returns the same look, surprised at his own actions. Well there was no backing out of it now- (saY SOMETHING LUCIFER-)

It takes him a few seconds to recover from the shock and he’s tempted to just pretend to tie his shoe. But you knew his intentions and watched the nerves wrack their way up his body once again.

Before he can even speak, give a speech he had rehearsed probably a hundred times in front of his mirror, you say yes.

And the relief that washes over this man— the weight that lifted off his shoulders in that moment— felt amazing.

You bend down with him, smiling ear to ear and chuckling as you realized this is why he was so worked up the past couple months.

Tears fill Lucifer’s eyes as he slides the piece of jewelry onto your ring finger.

You kiss away the tears that slip down his face and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

His tattered heart feeling stitched back together that day.

Alastor:

We all know Alastor isn’t the biggest on romance.

He’s a true gentleman, of course, but public displays of affection and intimate relationships weren’t his cup of tea.

The two of you had know each other for years in the afterlife, yet it was only recently you had put a label on your relationship.

Falling for you was never part of his plan.

He first saw you as an prey, only a possible soul he could claim for his ongoing collection.

But your sickening sweetness unfortunately grew on him over time. He once wanted to take advantage of it, but he became too fond of you to corrupt it.

You moved from his prey to his acquaintance.

You lived in cannibal town where he would frequently visit.

You join the gossip sessions with him and Rosie, indulging in their banter. It starts by you just walking by and throwing a comment towards their conversation you were listening in to. Eventually you had your own designated seat at their table.

Rosie definitely saw the potential the connection you and Alastor had, so she subtly pushes the two of you to hang out more.

This leads to your relationship advancing from mere acquaintances to good friends. The transition quick due to Rosie’s persistence.

Anytime Alastor would visit cannibal town, he would make effort to pay you a visit. He just felt so drawn to your company.

His smile felt less strained, his body would relax, and he could do what he wanted while you served up some fresh pinkie fingers.

There would be occasions of Alastor realizing he’s dropped his guard around you, and he would be snippy and aggressive those days. In fear of going soft and losing his mojo.

The first time he did this scared you,

(I mean obviously, the mans body grows two-ten times in his demon form)

But after a talk with Rosie about it, you tried to be understanding. Instead of falling away or distant with Alastor after his little tantrums, you simply waited it out. When he was back to normal asking softly if he wanted to talk about it or move on.

It wasn’t clear to you when you guys really started being affectionate towards one another. It just kind of happened.

You knew Alastor to be a gentleman before formally meeting him. So him linking arms with you, kissing your knuckles, holding open doors was nothing new.

It seemed like everyone besides the two of you knew the true feelings you two had for each other before you guys did.

You were holding hands, seeing each other everyday, Alastor would give you his coat to borrow on colder days, etc. Just small sweet gestures the two of you would share.

It took an incredible amount of time for Alastor to come to terms with his feelings. He hadn’t done this before and had no control of what his heart wanted. It was scary.

Putting a label on what you guys had didn’t seem necessary. The two of you knew what you meant to each other in an unspoken agreement.

(Rosie did eventually pressure him to actually ask you out however. It was the gentleman’s thing to do)

(But enough backstory)

More often than not, Alastor found himself spending his nights with you. Not to leave until the morning or midday after.

The two of you practically lived together when the overlord wasn’t too busy with other matters.

We already went over how the two of you weren’t big on labels. It wasn’t until Rosie asked that Alastor had even thought about marriage.

“Sooo… when are you going to put a rock on your pretty thang’s finger?”

“Hm? I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“What?? You’re kidding right? That darling and you have been together ages! You wouldn’t want someone else swiping them away from you, right?”

“Hah! Never going to happen. Who in their right mind would try that?”

“…”

“You do know where we are, right?”

It had never occurred to the Radio demon before. You guys had made your relationship official of course. Anyone else who would try and court you and take you away from him would be simply insane.

But the thought wormed itself into his brain and flourished.

The thought of not knowing what you were doing 24/7. The thought of someone possibly stealing you away without his knowledge.

The thought of some undeserving sinner having their hands on what belonged to him.

It irked him.

After that conversation with Rosie, say goodbye to your privacy. You’re not going anywhere alone. He can’t risk someone even attempting to steal you away.

It was irritating how he was always tracking you, keeping a shadow with you at all times.

If someone even dared to hold open a door for you that wasn’t him or his shadow, he’d show up at your side in an instant.

It made you anxious and overall, you felt your partner didn’t trust you.

You did express these feelings to Alastor, but your words seemed to phase right through him. You had no idea what had gotten into him to make him (even more) protective.

You joined him in bed one night, as he was stilling up, enjoying a book with jazz music emitting from his aura.

You cuddle close to him, the feeling of fuzzy static that enveloped you a comforter for your slumber.

Before you can let yourself drift off to sleep, your partner closes his book with one hand, the loud thump making you jolt.

“Say darling, what do you think of marriage?”

The sudden ask has you dumbfounded, giving him a deer in headlights stare. (Hah-)

He had never even mentioned marriage before yet here he was now, smiling at you as he waited for your response.

You give honesty, telling him you never really thought of it yourself and you were surprised to hear the idea from him.

You did mention how the subject didn’t draw you away. You knew you loved Alastor with your entire soul. Your heart and soul were his without one of his binding contracts.

Once he hears your approval he snaps his fingers making one of his shadows appear, holding out his signature red coat to him. He reaches into the pocket of his jacket, fishing out what he desired.

He pulled out a small box and handed it to you, his shadow dismissing itself from the scene.

You give him a confused look, before gently opening the box. Your eyes meeting the small band inside.

Oh- he was serious?????

You give him a puzzled look, while he just tilts his head at you, silently asking ‘too soon?’

Your eyes continue to track from the ring, to him, back to the ring, then back to him.

Your hesitation comes off as denial to Alastor, so he reaches out to take the box back. Before he can even lay a finger on it, you pull it to your chest protectively.

You give him a glare for even having the audacity to try and take this away from you. Your actions make him chuckle and hold his hands up defensively.

You slip the band onto your ring finger. Once it’s perfectly snug onto your digit, you pull your partner close to you, peppering his lips with small pecks. Scolding him in between your kisses for being so nonchalant.

He simply chuckles against your affections, telling you the ring will be a reminder you are always his.

And you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Vox:

Vox is not one for settling down. No shot in hell.

Have you seen this man?? Holy hell take a chill pill.

A lot of Vox’s priorities lie with his work. He’s always pushing the boundaries of tech, eager to create something new and be on the face of it.

He never thought of dating. Being tied down to one person made him cringe. So the thought of marriage never even entered his system.

Then there was you of course. Messing up his plans.

How could he not fall for you? You were charming, beautiful, and down right too good for him.

(According to him.)

Your presence and the feelings you gave him made him feel threatened. He tried to put him a wall between the two of you, avoiding you at all costs.

But when he would look at his phone, seeing your icon pop up with messages to him. His fans would kick into gear, his cold heart ticking rapidly in his chest.

Yeah he had it BAD.

When you became a priority to him as well, it kind of threw a wrench in the balance of his schedule.

Yes he loves you but that fact scares him. He wasn’t exactly the safest demon to be around.

So he found it better that the two of you keep your relationship secret. Mostly spending early mornings and late nights with you.

It was difficult to manage. You wanted nothing more than to try hang out with your partner all day but he was always busy.

You would visit him at work, but on very rare occasion. You still owned your soul, which meant Valentino saw it as up for grabs, despite Vox’s warnings (threats) to not lay a finger on you.

As much as you enjoyed visiting your partner at work, you understood his reasonings for being uncomfortable with it.

Besides that, the chance of others seeing the two of you in public was way too high. You guys didn’t usually go on dates.

Your partner was more comfortable having you stay at home, having a double life without him. You lived with Vox, but outside of the time you two spent together, you had your own things going on.

Vox knew about it of course, he cares about you more than anything. He needs to know what’s going on at all times. And what you had going on outside of him was important to him.

He always has a screen pulled up in his monitor room while working. Just to see what you were up to.

The screen usually tracked a camera on you whenever you went out, it displayed your phone screen whenever it was in use, and showed your vitals on the bottom corner of the screen.

He didn’t trust the sinners that roamed these streets, rightfully so. Being able to track you gave him a source of comfort when he couldn’t always be around.

As mentioned before, going out on dates wasn’t really a thing. But Vox would usually clear up one day a month in his schedule. Just to spend the entire day with you.

(Of course he occasionally shuts down, checking how everything is going at V headquarters while he’s not around. Cant take this man entirely away from his work)

You’d spend those days cuddling, ordering in some takeout, and just catching up with each other. Getting in as much affection as you could.

The nights were soft and intimate. It was what you always looked forward to.

Vox had some things to do early morning on the day designated for the two of you. You did pout and complain to him, but he promised to be back as soon as he could.

Hours passed and you started to get a little bit peeved that your partner had yet to return home. Checking the time, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

You get dolled up, pack up a small container of snacks, and head to V’s headquarters.

Making your way through the crowd of demons and sinners. You head up the elevator, but it stops on Valentinos floor.

And with just your luck, the lustful demon is standing there, waiting to get on. When he sees your face, he grins wide and enters the elevator. Standing uncomfortably close.

He blows out his pink slut smoke into the small space, making you cringe and try to waft the stench away from you.

Valentino is touchy and that’s an understatement.

So when he bends down at your level, once again offering a job to you, your heart rate spikes.

Meanwhile, Vox is having a one sided argument with Velvette, the young overlord scolding him as she changed his outfit several times.

It wasn’t often Vox was used as a model for Velvette, but he had actually asked her ahead of time to design something special for you and him.

By ahead of time, he asked yesterday, not giving Velvette nearly enough time.

While he tuned out of his teammate reprimanding him, his watch buzzed, alerting him of your abnormal heart rate.

He gives a confused look, his screen going black for a second as he brought up his home security camera on his screen. When seeing you weren’t at the house, his eye twitched.

Where the hell did you go??

He was brought back, his face glitching in and out as he pulled out his phone, bringing up your location.

He saw how close you were and immediately thought the worst.

He zaps himself into the nearest camera, zipping through the electronics to find where you are.

Within a minute, he’s found you in the elevator, practically cornered by Valentino who was literally drooling on you.

The lights flicker in the elevator as it comes to a screeching halt. Cue your partner showing up with a crack of blue electricity, yanking Valentino away from you by the moth’s wing.

He puts himself in front of you, acting as a shield so you don’t have to be near Valentino’s poison.

“W̵̰̻͍̉̔̅̀̐͐͒͆̒̚ḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝ǎ̴̯̀͠t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅ t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ f̵̢̻͈̫̬̻͔̘̞͈̆̇̍̈̌͊ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓c̵̛̥͊k̵̘̺̦͉͖̪̪͖͉͊̆̔́̈́̍̃̈́͒̂̑̀̚͜͝ d̶̡̲̗̼̮̤̤̳̲͖͓͍͔͓̓̎̽́̽̏̐͂̆͆͘͘͘ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅ y̶͔͗ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓ t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝i̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝k̵̘̺̦͉͖̪̪͖͉͊̆̔́̈́̍̃̈́͒̂̑̀̚͜͝ y̶͔͗ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓’r̵̡͕͈͚͍͍̼͕̍̀̈́̽̎̍͗̍́̏̚͜͠ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ d̶̡̲̗̼̮̤̤̳̲͖͓͍͔͓̓̎̽́̽̏̐͂̆͆͘͘͘ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅi̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝ǧ̷̡̟̲̹̩̱͉̮̭͇͚̮̖̟̽̓͊̔̓̕??”

(What the fuck do you think you’re doing??)

Vox’s voice glitched out, muted TV static layering his voice as the fans whirled in the back of his head. In a desperate attempt to cool him down.

Valentino doesn’t give much of a reaction, putting his hands up in feigned innocence.

“𝒟𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒱𝑜𝓍𝓍𝒾𝑒! 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻𝒻𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻-“

“You better watch your mouth.”

“𝒪𝒽𝒽, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝒶𝓈𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑒𝓉. 𝒲𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝒶𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓈𝓅𝑜𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝑔 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓈𝑒.”

Valentino speaks with sickening sarcasm. You look between the two, incredibly confused. Vox looks like he’s about to explode.

The lights flicker back on, and the door opens, Vox demanding his business partner leave.

The moth scowls at the both of you, before putting one set of hands on his hips, the other set of arms crossing across his chest. In the most sassy way possibly leave the two of you behind.

Vox waits for the elevator door to close before he can breath again. He’s muttering angrily to himself, one hand on either side of his screen as he tries not to blue screen.

You put your hand over his, his cold hand giving you a subtle shock of electricity as you touched him. You give him a concerned gaze, silently asking if he was okay.

Vox looks at you, shoulders relaxing just looking into your comforting eyes. Little bolts of electricity shoot out from the side of his screen as he tries to calm himself, his fans working overtime.

You set down the bag of treats you were bringing for him to hold his hands in your own. You give him a bright smile, concern not leaving your eyes.

You reassure him that whatever he had planned isn’t ruined. You could just pretend you didn’t know! You didn’t want this little run in to ruin your guys’ day.

You ramble on as he just stares at you, almost blankly, his screen fading from blue to a baby pink as he listened to you.

As you’re apologizing for causing trouble, he puts a hand up to stop your little speech.

He reaches into his pant pocket, pulling out a small halo shaped piece of jewelry. He holds your left hand in his own as he gets down on one knee in front of you.

I mean.. you knew he had a surprise planned, but seeing his actions didn’t fail to shock you.

He gives a little speech to you, stuttering and glitching over his words as he tries to explain himself.

For being a perfectionist overlord, this was one hell of a show.

He’s a blushing glitching mess, cursing to himself when he couldn’t find the exact words he wanted to say.

You grab the sides of his screen, looking him in the eyes and forcing him to meet your gaze. You’re saying yes before he can embarrass himself anymore.

He looks a bit shocked by your response, he can’t believe you said yes after that display he just put on. Before he can get the ring on your finger, he blue screens from shock and embarrassment.

You kind of chuckle and sit down beside your partner while you wait for him to reboot. Not like you could go anywhere with the elevator being stuck with the two of you inside. You do gently take the piece of jewlry, sliding it onto your finger and admiring its design.

Cuddling into Vox’s arm, you can’t help but smile brightly at the decorative piece snug on your ring finger.

It was perfect.

[cherubunie]

guess ! ~ sim jaehyun , kim sunoo x reader

ଓ ⋆˙⊹ [ 제이크 + 선우] ☆ You and your lovely boyfriend, Kim Sunoo have been together for just over three and a half years. you couldn't ask for a better lover, he was sweet, kind, gentle, and overall perfect. Sunoo knew that you were gorgeous, a lot of men came up to you on the daily. but he pays it no mind because at the end of the day, he's the one your screaming and writhing under. nothing could get in the way of your relationship, that was until your mutual best friend started to try and pry himself in your relationship. it started with small texts, and it led up to him listening to you and Sunoo having sex through the walls as Sunoo and him are roomies. you obviously tried to push Jake away, but all your attempts failed. so you decided to keep it a secret,, that was until Sunoo saw Jake trying to fill up on you at a party and decided to drag you home for some explanation.

Word count: 6000

bff! dom! Jake / bf! dom! Sunoo x sub! reader.

face sitting, face fucking, oral sex, fingering, rough sex, finger sucking, slight cnc, degrading, praise, manhandling, spanking, biting, threesome, humiliation, choking, voyeurism, dirty talk, cum eating, gagging, overstimulation, hints at double penetration (ohhh yesss). this is so fucking nasty I apologize..... I am absolutely shameless tehehe don't say I didn't warn you

you and your boyfriend, Kim Sunoo, have been together for the last three and a half years. the two of you met in college and were really good friends for two years before you decided to make it official. since then, your relationship has been nothing short of perfect. the two of you love each other more than anything and you couldn't ever ask for a better boyfriend. nothing could get inbetween the two of you...

...that was until your mutual best friend, sim jaehyun, or Jake as everyone else called him, started trying to make passes at you.

Jake was someone that Sunoo introduced you to when you became his friend, and ever since Jake laid eyes on you, he knew he was fucked because it was so unbelievably obvious that Sunoo had the biggest crush on you, and he obviously couldn't do that to his best friend. so for the last five and a half years, Jake kept quiet about his infatuation with you.

believe him, he really tried to keep quiet. That was until he heard you and Sunoo having a small disagreement out in the living room one night and Jake decided to drunkenly text you something that sparked everything that went down.

"if I was your boyfriend, I would never speak to you like that" the funny thing about that text was that you and your lover weren't even arguing, you were having a disagreement about something so insignificant you don't even remember it. of course Jake being under the influence took your guys' heated conversation and turned it into something it wasn't.

since then, he's been slowly sending you messages that range from "god you're so beautiful" to "I wish I was the one leaving those hickeys on your neck".

Jake ended up getting more bold with his actions. he would pretend to leave the building whenever you would come over and would would purposely sneak into the shared apartment around twenty minutes later because he knew there would be a chance that you and Sunoo were going at it. he found it sickening yet so blissful that he got to listen to your moans as Sunoo was tearing you apart. he loved it so much that when he would listen to your pretty sounds from the other side of the wall, he would often jerk himself off, imagining it was him fucking you instead of Sunoo. he felt disgusting and so fucking guilty he would think about his best friends girlfriend like that, but it was his dirty little secret.

So here you were now, at a party that one of Sunoo's friends, park jongseong, or jay, threw as an end of the semester celebration. His house was littered with sweaty people and alcohol, so you decided to stay attached to your boyfriend's side because you're not really one for parties, but you showed up anyways to support your lover.

"I'm going to go get another drink, you want something?" Sunoo looks at you with rosy cheeks and you can't help but kiss them. you shake your head with a smile.

"okay, ill be back in a sec, pretty" he compliments you before disappearing into the crowd. you feel someones eyes on you after a couple minutes of being left alone in the corner of the room.

your eyes dart around the crowded area, trying to find whoever it was that was causing you to shift uncomfortably.

"hi y/n" you hear from beside you. you jump at the sudden, deep whisper in your ear and turn to the side, your eyes finding jakes.

"oh hi Jake, I didn't know you were here" you smile up at him. he returns your kind gesture and leans on the wall next to you, taking a sip of his drink in the red plastic cup.

"where's Sunoo?" he asks, speaking into the cup. you shift uncomfortably at his words because you know he's not asking that out of curiosity.

"he went to go get another drink" you say shortly, praying that he would show up soon. you cross your arms over your stomach and look around trying to find your lover, but much to your dismay, you couldn't spot him anywhere.

"shame, he left such a pretty girl alone in a room full of men" he side eyes you before taking another drink.

"Jake please, ive tried telling you so many time to lea-" your words are cut short as Jake pushes you back against a wall, his tall frame leaning over yours. you look up at him, squirming under his gaze.

"what- what are you doing?" you asked, shock written all over your face. and to be honest, Jake doesn't even know what he's doing.

"you're so pretty..." he says, staring at you. you look for an escape, but his arms trap you against the wall and all you want to do is sink down onto the floor. you hope Sunoo comes back soon to help you.

"Jake pl-please leave me alone" your arms are still crossed as you look away from him. Jake doesn't like this and he moves his head at an angle where you have to look at him.

"Jake, you're going to ruin your friendship with Sunoo. I don't feel the same way." you tell him, trying to get him to catch your hints. Jake listens to your words, feeling guilty at the mention of his friend. maybe it was time to leave you alone.. hell he's been trying to chase someone he never had a chance of winning for the past couple years. he dips his head down, moving to the side with a sigh

"im sorr-" Jake is interrupted as Sunoo comes into his field of vision. he's standing across the room, his arms folded over his chest as he stares at the two of you with a harsh glare. you automatically freeze, not knowing what to do.

your mind goes into overdrive, knowing how bad it looked from his point of view.

Sunoo walks over to the two of you, grabbing your wrist harshly, ushering you out of the building. He looks at Jake before pulling you with him.

"We're leaving, now." is all he says before you're forced into the car, scared out of your mind at what's about to happen.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"Sunoo please, it's not what it looked like!" you beg him to listen, but he's not believing you.

"oh yeah? it looked like my best fucking friend was coming onto you in the middle of a party and you didn't even push him off of you." he said, his arms folded over his chest as he snaps back at you from across the room. you ball your hands into fists at your sides.

"sun, I promise you I would never do anything to hurt you..." you plea, and Sunoo clenches his jaw at your words.

"prove it." he says, holding his hand out. you stare at his hand, knowing exactly what he wants.

"Sunoo...-"

"give me your fucking phone, y/n." he snaps and you hurry to pull your phone out of your pocket and place it in his palm. its dead silent as Sunoo goes through yours and Jakes messages. he's reading every single text Jake has ever sent you. his jaw clenches, his fist tightens, and he tongues his cheek multiple times. he sets your phone down with an aggravated huff, sitting down on the couch with his legs pulled apart in a man spread. his forearms are pressed into his knees as he racks his hands through his hair.

"why didn't you tell me?" he says, not looking up at you. you can't find the right words, too nervous to speak to your boyfriend. he gives you a few seconds before speaking again.

"answer my question, y/n." he says in an even meaner tone.

"I was scared.." your voice is shaking and it breaks Sunoo's heart just a little. he saw in the texts that you weren't feeding into jakes delusions, but he finds it cute how obedient you are in this state, so he plays along.

"scared of what exactly?" he asks, tilting his head up to look at you.

"I was- was scared that your guys' friendship would be ruined and you would leave me..." you speak silently, telling the truth. Sunoo shakes his head and coos at you.

"oh baby, I know you weren't entertaining his games on purpose, but that still doesn't help the fact that you didn't tell me. its almost like you enjoyed the small amounts of attention he was giving you. are you that much of a little whore, y/n?" he stands up, looking down at you from across the room. you gasp at his mean words, not understanding where this side of your kind boyfriend came from, but a sick and twisted part of you isn't complaining. he tongues his cheek again before continuing.

"im not going to leave you, sweet. but I do have to punish you, understand?" you look up at him, dumb struck. he kicks the small coffee table to the side and manhandles you into the air, slinging you over his shoulder. you yelp in surprise at his strength. you struggle and kick in his grasp, begging him to put you down.

"s-sunoo what are you doing! put me down!" you plea, but he doesn't listen. he lifts his hand and lands a sharp "spank!" to your ass, and you whine in response.

suddenly, an idea pops into sunoo's head as he passes jakes bedroom door, halting his steps. he chuckles to himself as he spins you around, kicking Jakes door open with his foot before throwing you on the bed. you land with a yelp on top of the comfortable mattress. you scramble onto your knees to watch your boyfriends movements. he closes the door before unbuttoning his jeans followed by the zip of his zipper.

"what- what are we doing in jakes room?" your dumb question only makes Sunoo bite his lips with a smirk. he leaves his pants unzipped, peeling his shirt up and over his head and throwing it to the side of his room to be forgotten. your mouth instantly waters at his lean, tone figure and all you want to do is jump on him.

Sunoo slowly stalks towards you, gripping the base of your jaw and throat in his hand tightly, forcing you to look at him.

"I'm going to fuck you in Jake's bed until he comes home. I dont care how long it takes, im going to show him who you belong to." he says, leaning down to place a chaste kiss on the side of your mouth. the grip around you throat disappears as Sunoo backs away from the bed and sits in jakes gaming chair, watching you helplessly squirm.

"strip." is all he says to you. his tone of voice is demanding and you can't help but obey your boyfriend. you lift your shirt over your head and toss it to the side, doing the same thing with your jeans until you're wearing nothing besides your lacy pink panties that match your bra. Sunoo covers his mouth with his palm and chuckles into it.

"you're so fucking beautiful" he says staring at you. his words make a deep blush form on your cheeks as you move your hands to unclasp your bra, but Sunoo stops you before you can.

"nuhuh, keep it on love." you look at him in confusion as he stands up and walks towards you. one of his hands snakes behind your back, unclasping it in one, quick motion. he takes the flimsy fabric and throws it onto Jake's gaming desk on top of his keyboard.

you go to look over at it, but Sunoo places to fingers on your forehead and pushes your body down onto the blanket covering Jakes bed. when you arch your back to look behind you, your eyes face the closed door, so whoever was to walk in would get a view of the back of your head, and an even clearer view of Sunoo in front of you, facing your aching pussy.

you sit up on your forearms to watch your boyfriend as he gets down onto his stomach. he throws your legs over his shoulders as he settles between your thighs, his eyes locked onto yours as he does so. his hands massage your skin gently before one of them makes its way to your clothed clit. you sniffle back a whine at his actions and throw your head back.

Sunoo chuckles at your reaction and starts rubbing slow, concentrated circles on your clothed bundle of muscles. your hips grind into his hand, begging for more friction.

Your lover grants you your wish, pulling your panties to the side as his cold fingers slip through your wet folds with ease. you moan at the sensation of his digits massaging carefully up and down your slit, gathering your slick onto his fingers before he slides two of them in with ease.

you whimper into the air as your hips buck, causing Sunoo to chuckle at your reaction simply at his fingers. you can feel his breath fan your heat, he's so close to you.

"s-suunn please-" you whine, begging for him to move.

"patience baby.." he says before darting his tongue out to lick a small stripe up to your clit. your hands fly to his hair with a tug.

"you want me to eat you out sweet girl? want me to make you wet jakes bed so he know's you're mine?" he speaks into your cunt and his deep voice sends electric shocks through your pussy that ripple throughout your entire body

"y-yyes please sun, wan' you to make me cum all over Jakes bed please" you grind your hips up, signaling to him how needy you were. His fingers start to pump in and out of your gummy walls with a wet squelching sound that echoes off the walls in unison with your needy whines. His fingers curl up inside you at the same time his mouth latches around your clit, sucking on your nerves. he begins to eat you out, your pretty panties getting soaked in the process.

you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter as Sunoo sucks and bites at your clit, his fingers grazing your sweet spot over and over. your whines quickly turn into frantic moans as he picks up the pace. your grip in his hair turns into pulling as his mouth moves ruthlessly against you. your juices coming to coat his chin that drip down onto the blankets of jakes bed, soaking the material.

You feel a knot begin to form in your lower abdomen, it's achy and needing to unravel. Your moans turn into mewls as your legs begin to shake in sunoos hold.

suddenly, you hear the front door open and close, and you feel like you're about to fucking die. your back collapses onto the bed and your hands let go of sunoos hair, coming up to cover your mouth. your boyfriend doesn't like that very much, but lets you do so anyways.

"hmm, you hear that angel? seems as if the man of the hour has returned home" he says into your dripping cunt, continuing to lap up your juices with his tongue and sucking harshly on your clit.

The coil in your stomach quickly starts to come undone, but you aren't able to finish as a particular blonde haired man walks into his room, freezing in place with his hand on the doorknob.

you arch your back, looking behind you at the man in utter embarrassment as you feel Sunoo's mouth detach from your clit. Sunoo's breath fans you as he chuckles.

"don't be so shy now Jake. didn't you want to see her like this?" he sits up, but not before he takes one more, long lick up the slit of your cunt. your juices drip off his chin as you look at your boyfriend, your face as red as a tomato.

"what's going on.." Jake has never seen Sunoo so,,, dominant and bold, it honestly shocks him that he had enough confidence to fuck you in his bed.

"you wanna touch her?" Sunoo responds to Jake as you feel like you're about to explode, both men eye fucking you as you lay in the middle of their eyes almost completely naked. Jake's silence looms over the three of you, and all you want to do is scream and run out of the room, but you want to see where this leads... so you stay put in silence.

"y/n, how about we let jakey touch you for a while hmm? would you like that pretty?" your jaw slacks open in shock at your boyfriends words. Jake clenches his jaw and walks further into the room, closing the door behind him as he crosses his arms.

"b-but sunoo..." you lean on your forearms, looking at your boyfriend to make sure he's serious. he looks at Jake, and then at you.

"I don't mind sweet girl, I promise. you want Jake to touch you? wanna see who can fuck you better?" his hands rub gentle circles on your thighs waiting for your answer. you lean down so your back hits the mattress. you stretch your arm above your head as you reach out for Jake to grab your hand.

Jake eye balls the two of you with so many questions running through his mind. His jaw tightens as a smirk slowly creeps its way to his face.

"Jake..." you say breathlessly, making his cock tighten in his jeans.

"c'mon Jake, you wanted to fuck her so badly. nows your only opportunity because she's mine and I feel good enough to share." Sunoo has always wanted to watch you be fucked by someone else, but he's never really acted on it or said anything about it because you didn't seem like the type of person to want to share. But now that the opportunity is right in front of his face and you seem okay enough to let someone else, your best friend, touch you, he's gonna jump at it. especially since the person he's inviting in is someone you're

A. already comfortably with and

B. someone who's always wanted to fuck you,

Jake and him would both be morons to let something like this slide.

Jake cocks his head to the side and walks towards you, his hand slipping inside yours as the other unbuttons his jeans and unzips his zipper. the sound has you clenching around nothing. Sunoo sits back on his knees and watches your actions.

your body sits up and you begin to sit on your knees, facing Jake. you place your hands on the beltloops of his jeans and help him tug them down. the tent in his boxers prominent and huge. you then run your hands up his shirt, feeling his toned body underneath your fingers. you help Jake slide his shirt up as he takes it off and throws it somewhere in the room.

he's so strong as his arms are muscular and his abs are defined. Jake moves his hand to cup your cheek as he leans down, making direct eye contact with sunoo before he kisses you deeply. your arms reach up to wrap around jakes neck, pulling him onto the bed. he chuckles into your mouth at your impatience, his hands finding your waist as he sits down on the bed, pulling you into his lap.

you move your hips to grind down onto his hardening cock, a whine exiting your throat in the process. one of jakes hands moves to your throat with a squeeze, forcing you to break the kiss. Jake looks over at sunoo and all three of your faces are coated in a deep blush.

"wanna help me fuck this whore dumb?" normally, sunoo wouldn't let anyone talk about his girl like that, but the way you whine at his words makes him want to grab you and stuff you full in every one of your holes. sunoo smirks at Jake before standing up and pulling down his jeans to reveal his hard cock, springing up and slapping his abdomen in the process. Jake leans back so he's now laying completely down onto the bed, the back of his head facing sunoos body as you still sit pettily on his lap.

you dont know what's happening as sunoo grabs you roughly to stand up onto the floor. he forces your panties down below your ankles as he picks you up into the air again, sitting you back down on Jake but only this time, you're sat on his chest.

you put two and two together and look up at sunoo through your lashes. he grips your face, squishing your cheeks together as he coos at you.

"such a pretty girl, wouldn't you agree Jake?"

Jake cups your ass, moving your heat closer to his face as you frantically wrap your arms around sunoos body. your pussy hovers over jakes mouth as his hot breath fans you.

"the prettiest" he says before forcing your hips down. his tongue laps at your folds quickly and you moan rather loudly. sunoo lets go of your face and just as you're about to fall forward into him, he grabs your hair and forces you to lean backwards. you shriek in pain and you look up into your boyfriends eyes while you grind your hips into jakes face, moans spilling from your lips as you gently claw at sunoos back.

"you wanna suck my cock baby? wanna make a mess all over Jake's face as I make a mess all over yours?" he smiles at you and all you can do is nod your head as whines and whimpers drip off your tongue. sunoo steps closer to you, his dick now right in front of your face. you unwrap one of your hands from your boyfriend and grip the base of his cock, pumping it a couple times before you begin to kitten lick his pink tip.

Jake spanks your ass as you jolt in his hold as sunoo forces you to take his tip into your mouth. you hollow out your cheeks as you begin to suck him off, your moans vibrating sunoos cock which creates even more stimulation. sunoo begins to moan at your actions, the grip in your hair never leaving.

Jake moves his hand and slides two fingers into you, pumping his digits in and out of your slime coated, spongey walls. you groan at the new sensation and start sucking your boyfriend faster, your tongue swirling around his dick and rubbing up against the bottom of his shaft against one of his bigger veins. his tip hits the back of your throat as you moan and choke around him, and it sends sunoos head flying back as his Adams apple bobs up and down.

jakes fingers curl up inside you, kissing your sweet spot and you scream into sunoos dick, which causes you to pull off of him. but before you can fully release his cock from your mouth, Sunoo's hand in your hair stops you from doing so as his eyes snap to yours. you look into your boyfriends eyes through teary eyelashes as he speaks

"I don't think so" is all he says before he's forcing you onto his dick, his tip hitting the back of your throat again. your air supply limited to almost nothing as you breathe in slightly through your nose. you gulp the best you can and you run your tongue along the underside of sunoo's dick, moaning at Jake's tongue lapping at your abused cunt.

your legs begin to shake around Jakes head and his tongue works faster at you and his fingers split you open, your walls fluttering around his digits.

the previous knot from before begins to form in your tummy again and with another harsh slap to your ass from Jake, your hips buck down onto his mouth as you squirt all over him and his fingers, your moans helping sunoo come to his orgasm as well as he shoots ropes of cum deep into your throat. he throws his head back with a loud groan as he thrusts his hips into your face a couple times, making sure you get every single drop of his seed before forcing you to detach from his cock. you swallow his cum without him even telling you to do so, earning you a head pat.

"such a good girl for us yeah?" sunoo says as Jake slides out from underneath you. you collapse onto your knees and you feel a pair of hands on your hips from behind you. Jake pulls you into his lap, his hard cock pressed against your back and you lean into his chest. your eyes already feel heavy and Jake begins to trail feather light kisses down the skin of your neck

"such a tired girl hmm?" Jake coos and you nod your head at his words. sunoo makes eye contact with Jake, an idea running through his head. sunoo makes his way to jakes gaming chair and sits down, deciding to watch instead of join in until he feels a need to.

One of jakes hands makes its way to one of your perky boobs, pinching and twisting your sensitive nub as the other snakes its way to your swollen clit, rubbing slow, concentrated shapes on your wet folds. you lean your head back onto jakes shoulder as he sucks deep purple barks onto your skin, licking them after as if to soothe them. you whine and holt in his grasp as he does so, feeling yourself getting wetter and wetter as the most delicious tears start dripping down your thighs. your pussy clenches around nothing as Jake whispers into your ear

"want me to fuck you, sweetheart? use your body to my advantage" he licks and bites your lobe and you nod your head in pure ecstasy. he slaps your clit and you feel yourself approaching another orgasm. Your best friend takes note of your shaking and scoffs

"you're so fucking filthy" he lands another slap to your abused cunt, one after the other as you start whimpering. Jakes hand that's playing with your nipples makes its way to your throat and chokes you. your start to feel light headed as you push your back into Jake's front farther, his mouth still leaving love bruises on your skin.

"cum for me darling, let me know how weak I make you" One more harsh slap has you squirting all over the bed, you shakingly turn your head to bury yourself into jakes neck with a hushed scream.

Jakes fingers gently help you come down from your high, massaging kitten-soft patterns into your clit. Jaehyun then bites your neck roughly as you scream again, his hands grabbing you harshy, forcing your body into another position as a yelp exits your throat and bounces off the walls. Jake customs to his needs as he forces your chest and face down into the mattress with your ass in the air, contorting your body into a painful arch. you hear shuffling behind you as Jake moves to take off his boxers. his hard cock springs out of his boxers, leaking precum. You feel his fingers move up and down the slit of your inflamed pussys folds, coating his digits in your slick.

after a minute of him coaxing you, you feel his dick prod at your entrance before he forces his pale pick tip into your hole. there's a slight, painful stretch as you grind your hips backwards. Jake doesn't like this and decides to spank you even rougher than the times before. a harsh slap to your ass that leaves a red handprint on your skin.

"dont fucking move" you hear him say from behind you. you screech at the pain, but your hole clenches around his tip. Jake bites his lower lip with a groan as he smacks your ass again, and again, and again.

your walls flutter around him, your juices flowing down his cock and coat his balls.

He lands one more rough slap to your ass before forcing his entire length into your cunt. you choke out a sob as he fills you up completely, his balls hitting your clit as he bottoms out inside you. you go to sit up on your forearms but one of jakes hands tangles in your hair and forces your face down into the mattress as he begins thrusting inside of you at a rough, fast pace. your muffled cries fill the room and sunoo can't help but start fisting his cock as he watches his best friend fuck you senseless.

"oh my god ur'e so fuckin' tight" Jake says as he lands another slap to your ass before raking his nails down your back. you clench around him with a scream and your legs kick the bed as your arms thrash around the mattress before grabbing at the blankets beside your head.

jakes dick presses your cervix and you jump in his hold, trying to get him to slow down, but he doesn't budge. his arms wrap around your hips and force your body to stay in the arch, taking every single inch of his huge cock. you move your face from the sheets and you make direct eye contact with sunoo. you notice how he's pumping himself as hushed moans exit his mouth.

You reach for your boyfriend as your eyes start to roll into the back of your head, saliva dripping out of the corners of your mouth.

Sunoo takes note of your appearance and he feels like he's going to go insane. He stands up and makes his way towards you. Jake unwraps his arms from your waist to hold your hips in place as his pace never lets up, as a matter of fact, he fucks into you faster.

You push your hips back into him, meeting his every thrust as you sit up on your forearms. sunoo stands in front of you, watching as your face contorts into one of pleasure.

You look at your boyfriend and whimper towards him. you flutter around jakes cock as he keeps your hips steady, his nails digging into your skin, almost making you bleed. his hips snap against the plush of your now red ass, looking up at sunoo with a deep blush coating your cheeks and parted lips that have the most beautiful sounds coming from them.

"you close, sweetheart?" he asks you, his hand coming to ghost his fingertips across your cheek, tucking your stray hairs behind your ear. you nod your head as your whines and moans turn into desperate mewls that drip off your tongue so fucking sweetly. he pouts at you before he shoves two of his fingers down your throat, gagging you. you chock around his digits and suck harshly, your saliva coating his fingers as you close your eyes.

sunoo bites his lip as he watches you cream all over jakes cock, squirming in his hold as you fall apart in his hands. you thrash your legs around as overstimulation starts to cloud your senses. Sunoo takes his saliva coated fingers out of your mouth and laces them in your hair, yanking your head up roughly as you sit up on your knees and collapse into jakes chest as he lets go of your hair.

Jakes thrusts dont falter as sunoo crawls onto the bed facing you, his hand coming down to your clit and rubbing harshly on your mound of muscle. you scream and wrap your arms around sunoos figure, your clit and hole beginning to spasm as Jake feels his cock twitch before shooting ropes of his white seed deep inside of you, but that doesn't stop him from rutting his hips up into you.

Jakes hands wrap around your body and head towards your breasts, massaging your plump boobs and pinching your swollen nipples once again. sunoos free hand comes to your throat as he wraps his fingers around you, forcing your head back to the junction of jakes neck.

Jakes face moves down to your shoulder, his teeth creating dibbits into your skin that go perfectly with his previous paintings that litter your neck and shoulder. everything is so hot as the three of you exchange sweat, juices and moans.

the sight of you is disgusting, being sandwiched between your best friend and your boyfriend. you would have never guess that by the end of the day, the two closest men in your life would be fucking you absolutely stupid and you're enjoying

every. fucking. second of it.

Yours and Jake's mixed fluids drip down your thighs and pool onto the bedding.

"you're such a pretty little slut, you're squeezin' me so tight, babydoll" Jake whispers in your ear, your nails digging into sunoos back making him bleed. He chuckles at your reaction before letting go of your body completely, wrapping his arms around your frame and forcing you off of jakes cock so easily, like a tiny little doll.

Jake, as if he read your boyfriends mind, stands up off the bed as sunoo throws you onto your back, your head slightly hanging off the side of the bed. Your boyfriend throws your legs over his shoulders and forces his tip into your puffy, swollen cunt that's still pulsating, even without it being touched. you feel your brain begin to start hazing over as sunoo begins to slowly push his length inside you, the familiar shape of his cock making your head dizzy and your breathing unstable.

As his cock fully stuffs you, Jake's cum still seeping out of your hole, sunoo moves one of his hands to your nipple and starts twisting and tugging on it, the other making sure your legs dont fall from his shoulders. you see Jake come into your field of vision, the man lingering over you.

He takes the tip of his cock and taps it against your swollen lips, your lipgloss smeared on the corners of your mouth from earlier. you can't help yourself when you open your mouth for him, sticking your tongue out waiting. Jake lets out a stream of curses, taking his bottom lip between his teeth as he taps his sensitive tip to your warm tongue.

"ffuck, you're such a pretty girl y/n, wanna suck my cock, take my cum like a good little girl hmm?" you nod your head, gripping your last bit of sanity as Jake places his pink tip onto your tongue, slowly pushing his dick into your mouth.

Sunoo smacks one of your tits, a scream radiates from your body, sending electric shocks straight from your mouth right into jakes cock and through his body. without warning, they both start thrusting their hips. sunoo splitting you in half through your pussy, Jake doing so from your mouth.

You breathe in through your nose as Sunoo's hips ruthlessly smack against your ass, his fingers playing with your sensitive nubs on your breasts.

"oh my god" Jake mewls from above you, his abdomen gently hitting your chin as you close your eyes, sobbing around his length. your hands grip the soiled bedding below you, your knuckles turning white with how hard your clenching them in your fists.

Sunoo's cock kisses your sweet spot as you arch your back into the air. your moans are like a chant caused by the both of them. squelching noises radiate from your vagina and choked, gurgling moans babble from your mouth mixed with the sound of skin slapping and moans from the two fucking demons tearing your body apart fill the room- more like the entire god damn apartment.

sunoo lets go of your tit and shoves your legs off of his shoulders, falling on either side of him as he grabs your already bruised hips in a rough hold, lifting your ass into the air as he pounds into you. his dick twitches as your walls start to spasm around him, your orgasm approaching quickly.

"aww, my pretty little angel, you like it when Jake n' I split you apart dont you?" you nod at Sunoo's words, gurgling around Jake as he speaks next

"what a filthy fucking slut we have on our hands, hmm?" you swallow around him, making Jake fling his head back with a moan before pushing his whole length to the back of your throat and holding it there as you choke, hot tears spilling from your eyes as Jake shoots his seed deep into the back of your throat, not even giving you an opportunity to spit it out. his cum leaks from the corners of your mouth as you attempt to swallow his load.

"oh fuck, cum for me darling, sso fuck- n-ngh, good a-ah" sunoo talks you through your orgasm, squirting all over his abdomen as he cums deep inside of you. you can literally feel the warmth spread through your tummy as your back collapses onto the bed. Jake pulls his cock out of you as does sunoo and your eyes start to close.

Jake harshly picks you up and sets you on sunoos lap, setting you up for a cowgirl position on your boyfriend. you grab onto his shoulders as he lays down, your back arching against his body. Jake grabs your hips and forces your ass into the air, spreading your cheeks apart as your entrance hovering over sunoos- somehow- still hard shaft. you quickly look around in denial, frantic as to what is about to happen. sunoo notices your change of demeanor and grabs your face, forcing you to look at him.

"you're okay baby, its okay, take deep breaths" he says, instantly calming you down. you lay your head on his chest as he signals to Jake with a head nod.

Jake slaps your ass once more, the feeling of his dick prodding at your ass making you whine.

"you really didn't think we were done with you, did you doll?"

[pintrestgrl]

Ranchhand!rafe x Bambi!reader

Bambis parents are on vacation and they gave the whole ranch to themselves 👀

omg yes i love them sm !! also if 🪼 anon sees this pls send more asks !! i love when i get them. and anyone else who wants me to write any ideas they have ! also i apologize if this isn’t the best, i was tweaking while writing this. anyways hope u enjoy anon !!

farmhand!rafe x bambi!reader.

he’d see you walking into the barn with those same skimpy little outfits you always wear, your pigtails hanging by your displayed tits.

you two had been hooking up for a while behind your parents back, sneaking off anywhere you could to get his cock inside you.

“rafeyy, guess what?”

“yeah, angel?”

“my mama and pops are going somewhere. for a few days, i think.”

“yeah? gonna have the house all to ourselves, baby?”

“mhm. just you and me, ray.”

he’d raise his eyebrows at this idea, already knowing how much more he could make you cum with no other circumstances surrounding you two.

the next few days, consisted of sex. nothing but it.

he found himself cumming inside of you in the shower, eating your pretty pussy out by the deck, and finally getting to fuck you on your own bed.

but, he did have an idea. a bad one, probably. but an idea.

he’d start kissing down your neck as you were doing your hair, whispering nothing but unholy words in your ear.

he’d grope you all down your body, squeezing your tits probably a bit harder then he should’ve.

he’d convince you to let him try something with you, telling you that he just wanted to make you feel good.

“if you like me, then prove it to me, angel. just let me make you feel good, yeah?”

he’d put his hand over your eyes, using his free hand to tightly grip your wrists together behind your back.

finally, he’d lead you into your parents room, finally letting you open your eyes.

you finally understood what he was doing, and immediately wanted to protest.

but, he shut you up with a kiss, leading you over to the bed.

he’d fuck you like he absolutely hated you, while whispering words of the exact opposite through groans.

you’d lost count of how many times he’d came inside you, the thick white liquid dripping out of your sore hole and onto your parents sheets.

tears were streaming down your face, but he had absolutely no intention of stopping.

and waste this opportunity of getting to fuck you as loud as he wanted?

no. absolutely not.

every one of your senses was overwhelmed, the hand on your clit,

the deep feel of his cock in your guts, and the aching feeling in your bent up to your head legs.

finally, he decided you’d had enough. at this point he was afraid you’d pass out with his dick inside you.

he pulled out, eliciting a quiet sob and whimper at the sensitivity inbetween your legs.

you laid there, chest rising up and down as you recovered.

he’d make an effort to find your thrown panties on the floor, sliding them on your body to keep his cum against and inside your pretty cunt.

you did eventually fall asleep in his arms, your sweat covered bodies sticking to eachother as his warm cum grew sticky against his skin.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Can you do fizzaroli and asmodeus comforting their teenage adopted child after she/he/they had a rough day today?

Ooooh! My second Helluva Boss request, that’s so exciting! I can’t wait to work on some Helluva Boss! Let’s give some love to best Achillean couple!

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus- Ruby in the Rough

Fizzarolli is an energetic and somewhat crude man, that energy is also applied to his parenting style. He is caring and affectionate but also energetic and can accidentally be oblivious about his child’s problems with his jokester attitude. Though, he will make up for his mistake and unconditionally spoil his child rotten

Asmodeus, on the other hand, is the most doting and considerate parent of this pair. He’s more calm and a bit playful, though. He loves chatting and bonding with his child as often as he can, cuddling his child and can recognise every problem they may have instantaneously. He is one of the best comforters and huggers in Hell

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus, together as parents, as a married couple, as a father and father tag team, for their adoptive young teenage Hellhound daughter. You. A cute fluffy red fox-patterned and red fox-coloured Hellhound; Fizzarolli absolutely adores you and Asmodeus wants to squeeze your little cheeks

Asmodeus is the first one to notice his and his husband’s daughter’s distress. The way your fluffy tail is drooped and dragging on the floor, your voice is softer, your attention is averted. Fizzarolli, unintentionally, doesn’t notice your problems until his husband points it out

Then. As the usual wholesome doting couple they are, Fizzarolli and Asmodeus let you go to your bedroom and speak to one another in how they’ll approach comforting you. Of course, Fizzarolli offers buying you a gift whilst Asmodeus proclaims they should just raise up your self-esteem

And since they can’t decide inbetween each… they pick both

Fizzarolli barrages into your bedroom and basically throws a new phone case present into your lap whilst jumping up onto your bed to hug you as Asmodeus calmly sits down and hugs you right away after his husband, brushing through your hair gently with his mighty claws

After a bit, both fathers respond to hearing their precious fluffy Hellhound cry at her parents’ loving hugs. Crying in relief that both are immediately coming in to help you. You already feel so much better with both Fizzarolli and Asmodeus silently waiting for you to speak and hugging you

Of course… your problem is that people were mistreating you for being a Hellhound, a species of demons considered as meaningless animals, not as people. Asmodeus and Fizzarolli are already psychically speaking to one another on hiring assassins to kill the demons daring to harass their beloved little gemstone

“T-they… he was just so rude” You mumble out gently, long dog-like snout pressed into Asmodeus’ mighty big feathery chest whilst he holds both you and his husband, Fizzarolli to him whilst Fizzarolli keeps his thin but metallic robotic arms coiled around his hellhound baby girl like rope tied around your waist. His long imp tail wagging, Asmodeus couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath at seeing his imp lover so excited to hold their child, even when she is so upset

Asmodeus then whispers out, his dark blue beak slightly brushing over your soft hair, inbetween your tall fluffy red fox-like ears. Fizzarolli is mainly there for physical support, having the right as your upbeat and cheering up father whilst Asmodeus is the King of Lust and the king of Emotional Support, speaking for the both of the parents

“Darling. Whatever those fools said. They are wrong, you’re not ugly, you’re not a useless gross canine, you’re not a pet. You’re a beautiful, unique young lady that deserves all the love and admiration in the Lust Ring”

Just hearing Asmodeus’ smooth, silky and comforting voice alongside Fizzarolli’s warm big hugs is a one-two punch of extreme love to your heart and make all the dread, heartbreak and image problems wash away… well, mainly all of it. Though, both can sense when you’re not fully happy and both are still hugging you. The Sin holds both his husband and his daughter to his chest whilst the Imp snuggles his daughter in his husband’s hold

“I-I… I’m not a flea-ridden gross mangy mutt?” You ask gently, almost like a little child. Not even like a fourteen year old. It’s precious, both dads’ hearts are melting and Fizzarolli openly expressing how cute he finds their daughter with a soft ‘awww~!’ under his breath, even with his deep raspy voice. Asmodeus then nods and speaks gently again

It doesn’t take a big pep talk for this dads to cheer up their child from any problems she has

“Never, babygirl. You’re gorgeous, you’re talented, you’re filled with loveable joy and you have much ambition. You’ll slap down those fools when you become successful”

As soon as Asmodeus finished, Fizzarolli chimed in. Unable to stop himself from stating what’s on his mind and what he’d considered comfort. Asmodeus doesn’t really mind and your fluffy long tail flicks in curiosity at your Papa for what he wishes to add in to his husband’s truthful statements. As classic Fizzarolli fashion; it’s energetic, playful and a bit silly but passionate

Both promise they will make sure you’re successful, wealthy and beloved when you’re a fully grown adult

“You’re warm as well! People should be pouncing on you for snuggles and affection, rosydoll”

[diamond-champagne]

9. It'll Always Be You

Paige Beuckers x Azzi Fudd

Warnings: none :)

Summary: In which promises are made...and kept

a/n: The end is so close ya'll. Please let me know what yous want next. Also she's short but I love her.

It would be easier if they hated each other. It wouldn’t be this hard. The burning feeling ignited my anger so deep in them would be a welcomed relief of whatever this is. This a constant state of discontentment that has seemed to worm its way into their lives and settle down in their minds. 

It’s like being in a rocking chair and knowing you won’t fall but still feeling the panic that arises anyway. 

It’s like knowing you’re above the surface in the ocean and yet you feel like your lungs are filling with water

It’s like knowing everything is going to be okay but not knowing how.

-

Paige moves through the next couple of days the way the tide rolls in down the shore. She comes and she goes, day in and day out. 

To be fair, this is new to her. The blonde is used to fighting and then making up, or even fighting some more. However, this weird limbo of which they each hold a key to a lock they don’t have is scaringly unfamiliar. They used to be perfectly intertwined and now they’re chaotically tangled. Both pulling on random threads, having no clue if they want to be closer together or further apart. 

Paige is plagued with the will they, won’t they. Azzi and her are trapped playing this game of cat and mouse and she’s not sure who is who. The worst part is that she isn’t sure why they’re doing this because every time, since that conversation with Azzi, she feels like her forever is right in front of her. 

-

“I trust you with my life, just not my heart.”

“What does this mean for us?” Azzi whispers. Her body suddenly lags with defeat and upset clouds her eyes.

“It means,” Paige starts before letting out a sigh. “It means that maybe we need to figure out why we’re scared before we can face them.” She can see the protest rise in Azzi so the blonde is quick to keep speaking. “You said that sometimes my feelings were too much so maybe you need to figure out why that scares you. While you do that, I will figure out why I’m scared to trust you to love me.

“And once we do that?” 

“Once we get to the root of our fears, maybe we’ll be in a place where we can be more than friends.”

“Maybe?” Azzi sasses. The word might be the most offensive thing she’s ever heard.

“Maybe,” Paige confirms. “Because I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to be hurt. We can’t give each other the love we feel like the other deserves while being scared of said love.”

Azzi shakes her head in understanding. “And what if you decide this isn’t what you want anymore?” The question makes the brown-haired girl’s heart drum against her ribcage. 

It’ll always be you” Paige states. Despite the tears in both of their eyes, Azzi can see sincerity in her favorite pair of eyes. So, she smiles and counters with her own whispered promise. “It’ll always be us.”

So the two stand, facing each other, in this in-between space of friends and lovers. They bask in knowing there’s something yet mourn not having everything. It’s the definition of bittersweet. 

-

The memory is engraved into the blonde’s head the same those words are engraved into her heart. The spoken vowels play on repeat through her mind all day like her favorite song or the newest tik tok sound. She won’t forget these words though. They’ll always be hers to keep; always hers to love.

Until their day comes, Paige will savor the inbetween the best that she can. She’ll revel in the feeling of having Azzi’s eyes on her when they’re out with the team. She memorizes the feeling of their bodies pressed against each other when the pair sit next to each other. The blonde will make it a point to have their fingers touch in passing.

It’s the little things that make this worth it. It’s the little things that make Paige think that maybe they can rush this after all. But then, there’s a specific smile that Azzi has just for the blonde. And when Paige sees it, she knows that this is worth the wait.

But then she’s back to being restless and a little impatient. This much she tells Azzi in the bar bathroom at Ted’s when the girls are a little more free with their alcohol than usual. Tale as old as time and true as can be; Azzi and Paige will only want each other when a drop of liquor is involved. 

“I don’t remember why we’re doing this.” Paige mumbles. Azzi has got her trapped between her body and the sink. The curly-haired girl’s hands are tracing patterns on the blonde’s hip.

“You should. It was your idea.” Azzi answers smugly. The smirk on her face isn’t a result of their conversation but rather how the blonde is reacting to the mere feather touch by Azzi. Her blue eyes are low and hooded. Her body immediately pushes closer to Azzi’s upon contact. The voice that usually drips in confidence is breathy and broken. 

It’s a high that Azzi will never be free from. It’s her favorite version of Paige. The one she can ruin completely if you give her the opportunity. The brown-hair girl knows she should stop. They’re supposed to be taking things slow. But Paige is so perfect infront of her and neither one is sober at the moment so it’s easy to justify when their lips crash together. The kiss starts fast and desperate but ends being slow and passionate. It pulls small moans and whimpers from both girls as they indulge in each other.

When they finally pull apart, there is considerable distance between them. It’s like they both know that this is a bad idea. It’s like they both know they don’t care. But they stay separated at the whispered promise of “You” that Azzi lets out. 

“It’ll always be you.”

PREVIOUS | NEXT

[oh-katsuki]

The Inbetween (Tendou x Reader)

masterlist | ao3

Pairing: Tendou x Reader

Summary: You and Tendou have been best friends since before you can remember. You share everything with each other and over the years have fallen into a friendship with clear boundaries but intimate values. When you start to notice Tendou growing more distant, you begin to worry that he’s keeping more secrets than you thought. 

"Tendou gets like this sometimes. He grows quiet for a few moments as if he is weighing something in his mind. You can see the inquisitive look in his eyes and every now and then, his bottom lip will bounce and it will tell you that he’s thinking about something. In these moments, you’re never quite sure what he’s thinking. You’ve never been able to tell and you’ve reserved yourself to thinking that it is not meant for you or for anyone else."

Content Warnings:  fem!reader (gender neutral pronouns but there is a line that references you as his girlfriend), it does include manga spoilers since this takes place after they graduate high school, slow burn, childhood friends to lovers, angst in the middle,  miscommunication, smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving), orgasm denial (just once), teasing, minor minor cockwarming (he lets it sit there for a little lol), there's no real mention of protection

Word Count: 25.8k (lol)

A/N: I decided not to break this fic up because I wrote it intending for it to be one piece. It ended up way longer than i thought it would be. I'm posting it all here, but I would def recommend reading it on ao3 if you prefer!!! i'm a little nervous about this one. i really struggled while i was writing it. i love him so bad tho... he's always a joy to write <333 hopefully i didn't miss too many typos. anyway, its finally here lol so i hope u enjoy <3

You think that there are periods of your life where growing pains become impossible to ignore. The change tends to hurt. Like rebreaking a bone to help it heal correctly. When you’re 8 and in bed, unable to sleep because your legs ache somewhere deep in your bones. When you’re 16 and you can’t seem to ever feel like something really fits, like you’re not doing a good enough job at being good enough. 

Sometimes, they’re agonizing. The steady roll of dull pain that you can’t quite pinpoint, sending you anxious and aching in a way you can’t quite verbalize. 

Sa-to-ri: U wanna get drunk tonight? 

You: Not particularly. 

Sa-to-ri: k

Tendou shows up at your apartment forty-five minutes later with two bottles of wine. He lets himself in, holding the both of them in one hand, his long fingers curled around the necks of the bottles. It looks assured but precarious and you watch as he shoves his keys back into his pocket, takes a bottle in each hand, and kicks your front door shut with a flat foot. 

“Thought I told you I didn’t wanna drink tonight?” You call from the couch, craning your neck to face him. 

Tendou is looking at his shoes as he slips them off, watching as he goes heel to toe and slides them past the curve of his foot. Then, he tilts his head up and looks at you with a lazy grin. He’s at ease here, padding into your house. 

He has a particular gait about him. When Tendou walks, he sways side to side as if the length of his limbs is too much to control and his head tends to follow. He leans one way and then the other, confident in his step but wobbling nonetheless. If you had to compare him to anything, it would be a more confident version of one of those floppy blue pillars that jerk back and forth at car sales on TV. You’re not sure what they’re called, but Tendou’s step reminds you of them. 

“I know you well enough to know that you’re a liar, you borderline alcoholic, you.” He smiles, sitting down on the couch beside you with a grunt and passing you one of the bottles. 

“No glasses?” You quirk a brow. 

“Absolutely not.” He twists the lid of the wine bottle off and tilts the spout towards you. Tendou always buys cheap wine so that you never have to worry about uncorking it. “Cheers.” 

You roll your eyes, twisting the lid off of your own bottle and clink the neck of it against his. It gives a high-pitched click when you do, the sound short and succinct with how full the bottles are. 

“Cheers.” 

“Can we watch Evangelion?” He asks almost immediately, leaning forward to reach for the remote in your hand. 

“Jesus, what on earth makes you want to get drunk and watch Evangelion?” You hold it away from his grabbing hand. “Are you insane?” 

Tendou chuckles, “I think it would be interesting.” 

“I think it sounds stupid. You’re just asking for an identity crisis.” You roll your eyes, setting the remote down on the other side of you. 

You bring the bottle of wine to your lips. It’s a Moscato, overly sweet and the slightest bit fizzy. Tendou likes these kinds of wines. The ones that don’t taste like alcohol at all. He watches as you sip it before bringing his own bottle to his lips, curling them around the spout of it and taking a long pull from the bottle. 

You’ve known Tendou since you were 13 and he’s always been like this. He likes sweets, anything with enough sugar to make a normal person pull a face. He likes weird music, the kind that makes him the least eligible person to be in control of music on long car rides. He hates tomatoes but forces himself to eat them anyway because it “builds character” and he never fails to treat it like he’s suffering through some great trauma.

Tendou, for as long as you’ve known him, has always been like a breath of fresh air after a long day inside. Either that or loud music emanating from a comically small car. 

“How’s your boyfriend?” He asks, taking another sip. 

“Dead.” 

“For real?” 

“To me,” you finish, rolling your head to the side and looking at him. 

Tendou huffs, leaning further back into the seat. “Need a shoulder to cry on?” 

“No, he was a cunt.” 

“I’ll drink to that,” he raises his bottle as if to salute someone far away and brings it to his mouth again. “How long did this one last?” 

“A month,” you heave a sigh. 

“New record,” Tendou chuckles to himself. 

“What is wrong with me?” You swallow a large sip, exhaling as you do. “It’s like- It’s like I’m just dicking around!” 

“Well, are you?” 

“No!” You rub your palms into your eyes. “I mean, I find a guy, I go out with him, and then… I lose interest or he turns out to be a total tool.” 

“Or married,” Tendou adds, taking another sip. 

“Or married,” You confirm, following suit. 

“I knew you wanted to drink.” Tendou gives you a wry grin. The corners of his lips pull up pleasantly and his voice takes on a lower and more knowing tone. 

“Shush, it’s only ‘cause you’re doing it.” 

“Peer pressure really works wonders.” 

You smile, scoffing lightly as you pull the bottle from your lips. It pops when you do, pressure releasing from how you’d been sipping.

Tendou offers you a smile, the kind that you’re so familiar with that it aches. He rolls his head across his shoulders, letting it rest on the back of the couch cushions. 

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right person for you.” He says, half to himself as he lifts the bottle. 

“Maybe.” You agree, “or maybe I’m just eternally cursed. Maybe I’ve got a rotten bloodline.” 

His eyes slink across his lower waterline to look at you. 

“I doubt that.” He laughs and you can’t help but smile. 

Tendou has a certain way about him. If you know him well enough, he is reassuring to the point of relaxation. He never fails to comfort you in moments of need, winding you down on days you feel particularly tight. 

He seems like someone who knows everything. Tendou feels like he’s got it all figured out and when you talk to him he maintains a certain confident air that is pleasant to be around. Sometimes it feels like Tendou knows you better than you know yourself and you’re grateful that at least someone does. He maintains that particular aura about him and you think that it belongs to him like it does no other. 

Tonight he seems particularly mellow, lounging comfortably on your couch. You eventually give in to Tendou, resigning yourself to watching Evangelion with him, and he seems content to just sit beside you and watch. 

His arm is tossed over the back of the couch, the other nursing the half-empty bottle of wine. You follow the line of it with your eyes, lingering for a moment on the curve of his knuckles, flushed pink against the pale color of his skin. 

You follow his fingers, admiring the ways his skin is pulled taut over them. They’re long like he is, spanning the entire top of the couch cushion short ways. His wrists are thinner, the bones of his fingers coming to connect nicely where his lower arm meets his hand. You admire the even quality of his skin, following the lines of lean muscle up to his shoulder. Muscle and sinew form a trail up his arm, tucking itself away under the sleeve of his sweatshirt where it hides until the fabric meets the delicate skin of his collarbones. You watch his neck, his pronounced Adam’s apple bobbing slightly when he swallows at particularly nerve-wracking scenes. Still, he keeps a slight smirk on his face. It’s like he’s glad to just be here, eyes low-lidded as he peers at the TV.

By the top hem of his sweatshirt, you can see the beginnings of his collarbones and you know that beneath it, he is hiding an evenly toned chest. You can imagine the familiar dip and curve of his abdomen, his pale, almost sallow, skin stretched evenly over it. Tendou is all lean muscle. He’s built tall and long and you’ve seen the somewhat toned physique he hides beneath the thick cloth of the red sweatshirt. Still, you know that to the touch he is soft. Tendou has some give to him from the sweets he eats so regularly but, like the rest of him, you think it is beautiful. 

You follow the trail to his neck where he has a few freckles, three to be exact. One sits above his collarbone, the other on the tendon that connects his neck to his head, and the third just below his ear, covered right now by his dark red hair which collects around his neck. It’s as if the sun deliberately placed them there, dotting up the fine muscle as if it were Orion’s Belt glimmering across the winter and spring sky. 

His hair is at his shoulders now, unruly and almost unmanageable on most mornings. At the moment, it sits delicately just above his shoulders, collecting in what looks like pools on either side of them. Normally, Tendou ties it up to keep it out of his face. Tonight, he’s keeping it down, letting the wavy tufts of dark hair hide the blushing nape of his neck from you, red from the wine. 

Tendou’s face is long, you follow the trail his neck makes to his cheekbones. They’re high, complimenting his somewhat soft jaw nicely. His cheeks maintain a delicate pink tone, barely visible unless you look closer but aided tonight by the flush of wine. When he’s embarrassed, this quality shines red regardless. Tendou, in his more shy moments, lights up like a switchboard. 

Just above his cheekbones, Tendou sports light under eye bags. They are partially from being tired, but you also know that they are owed simply to the quality of his face. Tendou has distinct upper eyelids. They crease heavily when his eyes are open and you’d almost describe them as somewhat hawk-like if it weren’t for their round nature. 

Tendou stays up late at night. His job as a bartender keeps him working until the early hours of the morning and you know from texts he’s sent you that he takes a few hours after to unwind before going to bed. Sometimes he’ll play games, spurred on by Kenma’s gaming channel, but he always loses interest in them after a few weeks. Tendou keeps his interests and hobbies short and sweet, though you don’t think that diminishes their value to him. No, in fact, you think that it means that Satori has a lot of things that he loves. Still, this latest love of his has contributed to the dark under eyes he seems to sport around the clock. 

Part of you knows that’s just how he looks, but the other part thinks that if he went to bed earlier, that quality would lessen. You’ll never tell him that though. You quite like that quality of his. It’s distinctive, as most of his features are. 

Then, you shift your gaze down to his mouth. Tendou has a thin upper lip which—when combined with his all-knowing eyes—makes him look a little scary. His bottom lip, however, is full and pink. When he’s thinking, it moves slightly. It bounces as if Tendou is rehearsing what he wants to say, running through his thoughts at a mile a minute. You believe it to be endearing and Tendou, who has never been particularly vain, thinks that if you think so, it must be. 

All of these things are things you’ve come to know about Tendou since you met him. You’re accustomed to his body language, comfortable (unlike so many others) with his gait and the way he moves. You think that there is only one other person in the world who is as comfortable with him as you are and that is Ushijima Wakatoshi, someone you both met in high school. He, like you, is someone that Tendou clicks with like a piece of a puzzle. 

He talks to Wakatoshi every night on the phone. They talk about their lives, maybe about girls. Wakatoshi usually just listens though. What Tendou cannot say to you, he says to him and you’re not nosy enough to pry. You’re positive that whatever you need to know, Tendou will tell. When you finally stand and go to the other room to get ready for bed, you can hear him through the thin wall, talking quietly into the phone so as to not disturb your nighttime routine.

You pad between your bedroom and the bathroom, occasionally passing close enough for Tendou to catch you in the corner of his eye. He raises his hand or his eyebrows when that happens, swiveling his head to acknowledge you as he leans back against the couch cushions, one arm thrown over the back and the other holding his phone to his ear. 

The fan hums to life when you flip the light switch in the bathroom. Sometimes you wish they’d be separate switches because when the apartment is quiet the noise is jarring and disorienting, but today the sound is just another addition to the symphony of noise in your home. It whirs softly as you put on a headband and run the sink, letting the water get warm before splashing it up onto your face. 

You take your cleanser, pumping some of it into your hand, and slather it onto your skin in soft circles. The motion is familiar and you feel the way your shoulders relax a little as the cleanser turns white with foam against your skin. When you are ready to rinse, you dip your head down, cupping water in your hands and splashing it onto your face. 

“You always do that so messily,” Tendou chimes from beside you. 

You jump, flinching to the side as you wipe the cleanser from your eyes quickly, “Jesus, you scared me.” 

“Sorry,” he chuckles, leaning against the doorway. 

Tendou is lithe like a cat. He’s long and slender, his body nearly dwarfing the doorway he stands in. His shoulder presses against the white wood and he crosses his arms pleasantly over his chest, hovering just outside of your space. 

He watches with a content smile, eyes half closed as sleep starts to take over him. The corners of his mouth pull up curiously and his eyes follow the movements of your face as you gently rinse it with warm water. Occasionally, he will act like you’ve flicked water on him, raising his shoulder lightly as if to shield himself from it, and you scowl in response. 

“Move over,” he says as he steps around you and nudges your hip with his own. 

Tendou slides in front of the sink beside you, grabbing one of your headbands and using it to push his hair back. It swishes when he does, revealing the rest of his forehead before he takes some water and wets his face. Then, he takes your cleanser and copies your previous movements, scrubbing his face lightly before dipping down and rinsing it. You watch, fighting the heat that bullies its way to your cheeks. 

He’s a lot cleaner at this than you are, cupping the water in his big hands and lowering his face to rinse it. His eyes flutter closed, lashes batting slightly before he pushes his fingers against his skin and then wipes downwards. A few stray drops of water roll down his forearms, following the path his lean muscles make until they drop onto your bathroom counter. For how lanky he is, the movement is strangely graceful and you watch with a tilted head as he repeats the process. It keeps the counters relatively dry and when he’s done, the only evidence of his having washed it at all are the few drops of water on the counter and the clean quality of his skin. 

Tendou peers at you through the corner of his eye, smiling lightly as he stands to his full height and grabs his toothbrush from the holder. He keeps one here now. Given the amount of time he spends here, it only makes sense. 

Sometimes you think that the intimacy the two of you share is too much. Sometimes it is difficult to reconcile that you could be this close to a person but Tendou is someone who begs closeness. No, he demands it. Tendou is as affectionate as he is adoring. Intimacy, be it platonic or romantic, becomes him and though you sometimes worry if things can continue like this, you quickly forget it in favor of simply being close. 

To an outsider, Tendou has the feel of someone very far away. You’ve heard from acquaintances that he seems aloof and somewhat cocky, though you think that only the latter half is true. Tendou is particularly involved, however distanced he may seem. It comes with intimacy. He remembers almost every little thing about the people he loves. Should you visit the same restaurant twice, Tendou remembers what you ordered and if you enjoyed it. Should you be deciding between one shirt or the other, Tendou will recall what you already own and suggest the best possible option. He’s attentive like that. 

“This face wash is new,” he comments, running a knuckle along the side of his cheek as if to feel how effective it is. 

“Yeah, my skin got used to the other,” you shrug your shoulders, popping your toothbrush into your mouth. 

“What does that even mean?” He laughs. Tendou’s voice is warbled through his toothpaste. It sounds thick, the tenor ring of it dropping to a baritone hum through the thick white foam. 

“Dunno,” you shrug, “pretty sure it’s just a wives tale or something but I still believe it.” 

Tendou laughs again, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he leans forward and spits into the sink. You follow suit, waiting for him to pick his head up and continue brushing. The toothbrush looks smaller than usual in his hand, his long fingers curled around it as he guides it over his teeth, spitting for a second time and then reaching for your mouthwash. 

“You sleeping over?” You ask, taking the bottle when he hands it to you. 

Tendou nods his response, swishing the liquid back and forth in his mouth. Then he leans forward and the smell of winter mint hits your nose. Honestly, you don’t much like the taste or smell of it, but you’ve found that it keeps your mouth feeling fresh for the longest. Besides, you don’t mind it as much when it’s on Tendou. For some reason, the smell suits him. 

You’re relieved to find the reprieve of your bed. It hasn’t been a particularly busy day, but the wine is getting to your head. It makes you sleepy and your duvet cover feels far more comfortable than usual. 

Tendou usually sleeps on the bed with you. It’s another facet of the intimacy you share with him. Your bed is large enough to fit the both of you comfortably with a pillow between you, though it almost never stays there the entire night. Both you and Tendou tend to toss around in your sleep and more than once have you woken up with either yours or his body splayed across the other. 

Still, you’re only like this when neither of you is in a relationship. Your friendship has always maintained very clear boundaries. There are unspoken dos and don’ts that accompany the closeness of your friendship. If either of you is dating someone, you wordlessly agree that Tendou sleeps on the couch. It’s a respect thing for both of your sakes, as well as the sakes of your partners. 

“Are you bummed about your breakup?” Tendou asks, facing the ceiling. He’s no doubt watching the fan spin in circles in the dark. You know because you’re doing the same. 

“Not really,” you sigh, “I mean, this might be shitty to say but I really wasn’t all that attached.” 

Tendou shakes his head against the pillow, lacing his fingers together over his chest as he lets out a deep exhale. “Nah, it’s not shitty. That’s natural.” 

“I guess.” 

“Let me know if you do get sad about it, kay?” He says, tilting his head sideways to look at you. 

“You’ll be the first to know.”

You smile lightly at him and Tendou hums his satisfaction. He rolls over in bed with a soft goodnight before the room falls silent. You listen to the sound of his breathing and when it finally comes to an even pace, you smile. Sometimes Tendou struggles to sleep but tonight is not one of those nights. 

You drift off after you are certain that he’s asleep, lamenting to yourself about the potential loss of his characteristic under eyes. Man, Tendou would really rip you a new one for thinking that. 

—

“I like your hair like this,” you comment, reaching up to flip a piece that sits across his cheek. 

Tendou turns to you, watching the way your fingers play with the soft end of it before giving a small laugh and a smile.

“Yeah? I feel like it’s too long,” he hums, looking at you and then to the coffee maker as it hums from its place on the counter. “Think m’gonna cut it soon.” 

“Nah, don’t. It suits you. Kinda devil-may-care, ya know?”

Tendou’s hair is too long by normal standards. It comes down just below his shoulders, falling in thickly layered wisps that frame his face and make it look delicate. Somehow, having his hair around his face softens his features. It gives him a more gentle, off-beat look. 

“Oh? If it makes me look so cool then maybe I won’t,” he glances at you through the corner of his eye, smiling a cat-like smile. 

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you snort, bumping him out of the way as soon as he takes his coffee from the coffee maker. 

Tendou feigns an offended look before leaning against the counter beside him. He looks sleepy, still somewhat tired as he raises his mug to his lips and loudly sips his coffee. It’s always too hot when he takes the first sip but he does every time nonetheless. Tendou says it tastes better that way. 

“By the way,” he starts, pulling the mug to his chest and partially resting it in the dip in his stomach, “I gotta leave right after I finish this.” 

“Work?” 

Behind you, Tendou shifts a little and furrows his brows. “Nah, got some errands to take care of.” 

“‘Kay,” you turn to him, leaning against the counter opposite him. 

Despite Tendou’s affinity for skinship and attention, he is surprisingly independent. 

That’s something you admire about him. Tendou’s actions are sure and calculated and he’s comfortable going off and doing his own thing more often than not. Sure, he’ll invite you with him, but should you opt not to go, Tendou doesn’t let it stop him. He’s fiercely independent and it balances out well in your friendship.

He doesn’t really say anything about where he’s going and you figure that he doesn’t have to. He’ll go off and do his own thing and you will go do yours. 

You and Tendou are quite like-minded, as is Wakatoshi. Perhaps that’s why you all get along so well. When you interact with people, they tend to understand the three of you as independent beings who just so happen to choose to be around the other two. You’ve heard from others that looking at the three of you is like looking at a gaggle of oddities that somehow found themselves magnetic to only each other. Since Wakatoshi moved away though, it has just been you and Tendou and you’re content to be perceived as an odd pair. 

The living room is littered with evidence of your evening with him and you peer out at it from the kitchen, the sunlight from your curtains filtering in and casting a warm glow over the light-colored wood. The more than half-empty bottles of wine sit on the coffee table, their lids placed randomly on the countertop from when you’d tossed them down after opening them. The bottles catch the light from the small glass patio door and the white Moscato inside glimmers in the morning glow. 

When Tendou leaves, he grabs his keys from your kitchen table. They jingle in his grasp and he shakes them to get your attention. 

“I’m leaving now!” He calls even though you’re only a few feet away. 

“Have the day you deserve!” You laugh. 

Tendou swings your apartment door open, his legs leading the way as he keeps his head around the corner so that  he can look at you. You watch as he cracks a smile that spreads from one side of his face to the other, upper lip curling. 

“Sour old bat.” 

“I’m only 24!” You protest as he chuckles and shuts the door behind him. 

You walk to the door, locking it behind him and shaking your head lightly. Briefly, you think about what he might be doing. It could be groceries, though he usually brings you with him, or maybe he needs to service his shitty old car. He never uses it which means that when he does it breaks down easily, but he keeps fixing it nonetheless. Tendou can’t bear to part with the characteristic hunk of junk. 

Tendou works as a bartender. He stands behind the counter in a black dress shirt and black slacks, fixing customers' drinks before pressuring them into buying more. He’s good at selling things because Tendou is a notoriously difficult person to say no to, whether you know him or not. Sometimes you’ll go in and see him, sliding into a seat at the bar and waiting for him to notice you’re there. You usually don’t even make it to the counter before he spots you, giving you an easy smile and tilting his head to the side. 

You suspect that he is only working to make ends meet while he decides what he really wants to do. You always figured it would be volleyball given his gift for it but he told you in the third year of high school that he’d be quitting. It had never been something he was particularly set on doing and though he enjoys the sport, he thought the constant rigor of its training to be tiresome. You understand to a degree. It is very like Tendou to do things only because he wants to. Even Wakatoshi accepted it after a little while, though—in a fashion that is much like Ushijima—he still pushed for Tendou to further his gift with the sport. It was to no avail though, that’s just the way Satori is. 

Still, you’re not sure if there is something in particular that Tendou wants to do. He doesn’t talk much about the future and lately whenever you ask, he waves the question off like he can’t be bothered to think about it. 

He has a plethora of interests and for now, his job suits him. He spends his time talking to people and though he works late into the night, you think that he enjoys the time he gets in the hours after his shift. Besides, during the day it means that Satori gets to bake. It’s an odd hobby for him but he does it regularly enough that it has started to make sense, though you’re not sure if it is a fleeting hobby or one that will stick. Tendou likes to play around with flavor. His eye for new combinations is admirable and it’s not a rare occurrence for you to go over to his place and immediately be fed a new recipe he’s been testing out. 

He is, in general, a hard person to pin down but once you do, you’ve got him memorized for life. It’s not unusual for you to be able to guess what he’s doing, though sometimes he will surprise you and be doing something entirely different. Still, you’re confident enough in what you know about him to know that once he does choose, it will be good for him. Tendou is someone who begets a good and honest future. 

You spend the day tidying around your apartment. You’ve got no particular plans today and with your recent breakup, you’ve no one to really make plans with. In high school, when Tendou was busy without you, you’d often sit with Wakatoshi and watch him practice. You’d listen to the sounds of the ball hitting his palm and then the slap of them on the smooth linoleum of the gym floor. That, or you’d spend your time with the other people you met with the both of them at Nationals, goofing off on the phone while you waited for Tendou to wrap up whatever it was he’s doing and walk home with you.

You’ve been to see them at nationals every year that the two of them have gone. In your third year, Tendou and Wakatoshi did not attend the tournament as players nor spectators, but the three of you sat in Wakatoshi’s room and watched the games together. You recall watching Karasuno fight their way through the ranks until they tasted a bitter loss once the promising first year, Hinata Shoyo, fell ill. Tendou had chided early on into the tournament that he was pushing himself past his limit and Wakatoshi agreed but you didn’t have the eye to see it until he had collapsed on his hands and knees on the court. Still, the three of you sat shoulder to shoulder in front of Wakatoshi’s computer screen, knuckles tight against your thighs. 

Sa-to-ri: shall we grub tonight? 

Your phone lights up sometime around 3 pm and you open it to see Tendou’s distinct contact name light up across the screen. 

You: u miss me? lol

Sa-to-ri: nah

You: what’s on the menu? 

Sa-to-ri: ramen

You: then yeah okay

Tendou has one particular ramen shop that he likes to frequent with you. It’s a bit of a tradition and when you both go there, it is either in work uniforms that make you look silly or house clothes so comfortable they could hardly be considered outfits at all. 

Some nights, you both trudge into the shop, you in the remnants of your work uniform and Tendou fully dressed in his, ready to attend his shift once you finish eating. Tendou wears his black slacks but rolls them to the knees and his black dress shirt is untucked in the front. He looks silly, but you know from visiting him that he always fixes it before he clocks in. You usually wear something business casual to suit your desk job, dress pants and a white shirt of sorts. On other nights, you both will come in wearing whatever it is you were wearing around the house. 

The shop is a few blocks from his place and if you weren’t looking for it, you would miss it. It is tucked behind two brightly lit shops in a back alley. Still, when you’re hungry for a particularly good bowl of ramen, you can smell it from down the block. The aroma of garlic and miso wafts through the streets from the alley it sits in and both you and Tendou find that you would know it by smell alone. It beckons to you both in a homely manner. 

“You’re so late,” Tendou comments as he meets you at the bottom of his stairwell. 

“Were you tracking me?” You furrow your eyebrows. You hadn’t agreed to meet him outside his place, so to see his lanky figure descending the outdoor steps is a bit of a shock. Still, you wouldn’t put it past him to check your location for where you are. In fact, you suspect he does it often and for fun. You don’t mind though. After all, you do the same to him. 

“Yeah,” he shrugs, putting his hands in the pockets of his sweats. Tendou leans forward, shifting his weight onto his hips and letting his shoulders droop. 

“Eugh, creepy,” you shiver slightly and smile at him. 

Tendou tilts his head to the side and gives you an affectionate grin. It spreads across his face and his eyes narrow in a familiar way. For a moment, you think he is about to say something that makes you want to cross one of your well-defined boundaries but instead, he comes out with, “if you were on time, I wouldn’t have to.” 

You shove him to the side plainly and turn to stride down the sidewalk before you can watch him wobble back and forth like a card house. Your heart hammers lightly in your chest. This happens sometimes. You find yourself getting tripped up on the familiarity of his expressions and the way his smile curls like dry paper. Then, you hear the sound of his sneakers against the floor as he jogs to catch up with you in the direction of the restaurant. 

“Wooaaahhh, so hostile tonight, huh? What happened to my nice BFF from this morning?” He leans forward as he walks so that he’s in your eye line, trying to catch your avoidant gaze as you suppress a smile. 

“They remembered that you’re an irritating little shit,” you huff, pretending to be mad. 

“Harsh.” 

The two of you walk the short distance to the restaurant in near silence. It’s nearing 9 pm and the streets have gone dark, illuminated only by the streetlights and sign shops that stay on through the evening. Their electric glow casts the sidewalk pavement in artificial blues and yellows, elongating your shadows until they dip into the street where cars and cyclists zip by on their way home. You watch people bustle through the street, their lively chatter creating a city soundscape that you’re familiar with. Groups of men in business suits walk into nearby restaurants and bars, finally off the clock for the night but not quite ready to return home. Girls wearing colorful spring clothes move in gaggles as they head into a new and trendy spot that recently popped up. 

Some of these girls stare at Tendou as he passes. They watch the lazy nature of his eyes and the way he hunches over himself slightly. They marvel at his height and the cool exterior he wears as he looks somewhere past them at the buildings lining the somewhat busy street. These girls giggle into their mouths when he passes because, for every person who has ever called him creepy, there are an equal number of people who call him handsome. They glance behind them as they walk, asking each other if you are his girlfriend to which you chuckle internally. Tendou pretends not to notice, though you know from the way that he is careful not to look at them that he does. 

Every now and then when this happens, Tendou’s gaze will slink over to look at you. You can feel the way he watches your expression, his gaze fixed on you through the corners of his eyes. Sometimes you will look back at him and raise your eyebrows and he’ll shake his head. Other times, you will keep staring straight ahead just to see how long he will look at you for. You’ve learned that it will be until he needs to look ahead for fear of running into someone. 

When you reach the door of the small ramen shop, which consists of a blue curtain with kanji lettering, Tendou holds it to the side for you with his forearm. He reaches ahead of himself and puts it against the doorframe, pinning it against the wood frame to keep the cloth out of your way before ducking his head to follow you in. When you look behind you, Tendou is straightening himself up again to his full height. 

The chef inside calls a welcome to you before he asks how you’re doing. He knows you both well by now and whenever you enter, it seems that he’s pleased to see you. He’s an older man with heavy wrinkles beside his eyes and between his eyebrows. He’s expressive and the lines of age on his face demonstrate that very clearly. The chef has sharp features that soften considerably when he smiles and a low, gruff voice that seems to somehow match the interior decoration of his hole-in-the-wall shop. 

“You together yet?” He leans onto the counter after asking which particular bowl of ramen you’d like. 

The chef is an old man and far too cheeky for his own good. Every time you come in, he never fails to ask if you’re dating each other yet. Through a tenacious grin, he poses the question you both have been asked countless times over. Tendou’s response is different every time. 

“Oh yeah, we’re so in love now.” You take the liberty of responding and Tendou leans his cheek onto his hand and raises his eyebrows at you. 

“Yeah?” He questions, the fat of his cheek smushing his lips into a slight pout. 

“No.” You turn to the chef and shake your head. “It’s not gonna happen.” 

The chef clicks his tongue and shakes his head with a small laugh and Tendou sits up and drums his fingers on the table as he leans back in a stretch. 

“Aw, never?” He teases. 

You nod at him, exaggerating the movement. 

Tendou closes his eyes and laughs, his fingers still drumming against the surface of the table before he reaches a resting position. You hear him mumble bummer as you look away and when you look back at him, you find that he is staring blankly at the drink menu in front of him. His expression is unreadable. 

Tendou gets like this sometimes. He grows quiet for a few moments as if he is weighing something in his mind. You can see the inquisitive look in his eyes and every now and then, his bottom lip will bounce and it will tell you that he’s thinking about something. In these moments, you’re never quite sure what he’s thinking. You’ve never been able to tell and you’ve reserved yourself to thinking that it is not meant for you or for anyone else. 

Then, just as quickly as he falls into the slight moment of silence, he pulls himself out in his same usual manner. Tonight, he remarks on how hungry he is and how he doesn’t want to work tomorrow night. Then, he’ll let you talk until you’ve nothing left to say. Whereas Tendou does most of the talking with Wakatoshi, you do most of the talking with Tendou. You can appreciate the way he just wants to listen, his eyes trained sleepily on your face as he listens to you chatter on about something mundane. He knows you would and have done the same for him and you imagine that he feels the same about listening to you talk that you do listening to him. 

You both slurp at your noodles through idle conversation. He talks about work and you converse about what it is that you want to do next. Sometimes, in moments like these where you are both discussing your precarious futures, it feels like you’re in your third year again getting food after evening practice. The only difference now is that Wakatoshi is not with you and you are no longer 17. Instead, both you and Tendou are 24 and in the inbetween of life, floating between present and future in a perpetual cycle of uncertainty. Somehow, the only thing that seems to quell it is the familiar presence of one another. The small ramen shop, with its sounds of boiling water and conversation, grows smaller still. 

—

Tendou is weird. He’s always been weird. He somehow manages to seem like he knows everything. He has wide, unsettling eyes that look like they have x-ray vision. He can guess what just about any of his friends are doing at any given moment and he’s open about it. All of it is weird. It’s not as if he’s been particularly normal up until now because there is truly nothing normal about Tendou and you like him that way but recently… he’s been weirder. 

You can’t exactly pin what could be off because he hasn’t done anything in particular. He still texts you to hang out, he still wears that familiar smile that you adore, he is still as attentive as usual, but he’s weird. Something is weird. 

You imagine that what you’re sensing is a radar you have only for Tendou. The feeling comes to you as more of a sixth sense rather than anything based on evidence. You know him like the back of your hand. You’re likely to notice even the smallest new detail. That’s how it is with Tendou. Hand in hand with the particular closeness you share, is the ability to tell when he’s off.

Tendou lately has been spending more time on his phone. He stares and clicks it on and off like he’s waiting for something. The screen will occasionally light up his features before he clicks it off again upon seeing nothing. Occasionally he will swipe his phone open and check whatever it is he’s waiting on directly, though you can’t tell if it’s news or a conversation. You watch the way he holds the sleek rectangle in his long fingers, drumming them against the smooth side of it and waiting for it to vibrate in his grasp. More often than usual, while he drums his fingers across the back of his phone, he will wear that blank look and stare into space, thinking about something you’re not privy to. 

The thought pops into your mind that it could be a girl, though you’re not sure that’s the case. If it were a girl, you think Tendou would tell you and if he didn’t… well, that thought makes you more uncomfortable than you’d like to admit for reasons you can’t quite pinpoint. Tendou is his own person, as are you, but if there is one thing you pride yourselves on it is the way you share openly with each other. You inhale, letting your gaze slink from where he fiddles with his phone to the television screen. You won’t dwell on it. You’re not nosy enough to dwell. 

The feeling isn’t particularly uneasy and any anxiety that may have manifested while you were considering Tendou’s predicament quickly melts away once Tendou begins talking to you. You find yourself at ease while he chats, telling you that his job wants him to pick up more hours but he’s not sure if he wants to. It’s so boring, but it’s not. This topic is such a mundane one but you feel that familiar fondness bloom through you as he speaks. Nothing seems boring when you’re with him.

Then, the phone in his hand begins to vibrate. It hums to life in his somewhat limp grip and Tendou, in one smooth and slow motion, checks who exactly it is. There’s no rush to it. In fact, Tendou finishes his sentence before shifting his eyes down to look as he flips the screen up to face him but you can tell that he’s eager. He tilts his head, reading the words across the screen as the jingle of his ringtone plays softly from the muffled speakers. Tendou dropped his phone in water once and as a result, his ringtone sounds like it is playing through glass. His expression shifts from one of barely readable anxiety, to disappointment, to happiness.

His gaze slinks over to you and he gives you a lopsided and lazy grin.

“It’s Wakatoshi.”

“Yeah?” You peer over his thumb, looking at the familiar name across the screen, “can I say hi?” 

“Duh,” he sticks his tongue out like you’ve said something stupid before answering the call, “Wa-ka-to-shi! I’ve got _____ here,” he holds the phone out to your mouth, “say hello!” 

“Hi Wakatoshi.” You speak and you can hear the gruff sound of his acknowledgement before Ushijima’s rich baritone spills through the speaker. 

“Hello,” he says your name, even across his tongue, “it’s been a while since we last spoke.” 

“Yeah, well, you never call!” You fake a pout and you’re certain Ushijima can hear it through the phone. 

Ushijima gives a soft exhale, “I could say the same about you.” 

You roll your eyes even though he can’t see it and Tendou fakes being hurt on your friend’s behalf. 

“But don’t worry,” he starts, “I’ll be back in Japan in a few weeks.” 

“No way! Really?” You feel the excitement bubble in your chest before it shows on your face and Tendou tilts his head at your expression. You watch the way his eyes slink across your features, soaking in your joy through his skin like the sun until he is kissed with it. 

“Yeah, visiting family,” the response is short, much like the way Ushijima usually talks. 

“Man, the off season works wonders,” Tendou hums from beside you, wiggling a little in his seat. 

“You know there’s no off season, Tendou. We train year round,” Wakatoshi states. 

“Minor details,” he says, waving his wrist back and forth as if he were erasing the sound of the words from the air around him. 

Tendou gives you a wry grin before pulling the phone back and switching off speaker mode. Vaguely you can hear the sound of Ushijima giving a brief apology about not calling you, but you’re not actually mad enough to warrant it. In fact, you’re elated that he’s coming to visit. You and Wakatoshi are very good at clicking right back into place, so worrying over why he doesn’t call isn’t exactly in the front of your mind. Besides, you figure he still thinks about you because every morning you receive an influx of tiktoks and new articles that he’s sent you through the night. So thoughtful, that one. 

“So what’s up?” Tendou speaks, placing the phone against his ear and pinching it there with his shoulder. 

He reaches in front of him, unscrewing the top of his water bottle and taking a sip as he listens somewhat intently to what Ushijima has to say. Tendou leans back, extending his arm over the back of his couch and leaning deeply into the cushions with a sigh and mumble of confirmation. 

He looks like he’s at his leisure here. The lean muscle of his neck is relaxed and the tilt of his head makes him look like he’s scheming something. A small smile plays at the corners of his lips as he gazes thoughtlessly at the table in front of him. It tugs the ends of his mouth upwards and you recognize it as one that is entirely subconscious. Satori doesn’t even realize he’s doing it and the thought sends a fond flood of warmth through your chest, honeyed and heavy. 

You stand, exhaling deeply when you do. It’s best to leave them to their chats. Satori and Wakatoshi’s time together is limited, so when the other calls each night, it fulfills a certain (and private) routine which you know they both value. 

Tendou’s eyes slink over to you as you move. His eyebrow quirks up as he pinches the phone between his ear and shoulder, pulling the bottom of his phone from his mouth as if he’s ready to respond to whatever you say. You opt to mouth at him, as you can still hear the baritone hum of Ushijima’s voice on the other end of the line.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” You point behind you to his bathroom. 

Tendou makes the OK symbol with his hand before he smiles at you. Then, he turns his attention back to his phone and you can hear him start the sentence ‘it’s going okay’. You watch as the smile falls and his face returns to a somewhat pointed resting position. He glances sideways at you one more time, his eyes tracking over your figure as you eavesdrop in a somewhat obvious way. All he offers is the slight upturn of his lips, but you can’t shake the eerie feeling the smile gives you. It looks like it’s made out of glass and as you step away, you hear the way his voice drops to a hushed whisper before it fades entirely through the thick wood of his bathroom door.

You start the shower, turning the knob in Satori’s bathroom. It’s familiar here and you don’t need to pause to think about which way is hot and which way is cold. Coming to his home is like walking into your own and part of your relishes in getting to use his shampoo and conditioner. 

It smells like him, somewhat rich and musky, with a sharp and clean aspect to it. You think that his shampoo smells a bit like men’s deodorant, but far more gentle. It’s less masculine than that, somewhat sweet, but it still retains this aspect to it that maintains whatever it is Tendou has going on. You like wearing that smell. It’s like a homecoming and sends your stomach flipping. 

His bathroom is decidedly western. Blue tile decorates the shower wall, it’s white grout somewhat tinged with age. The tiles are clean though. You know because Satori reminds you constantly to go over it with the squeegee when you’ve finished. It gives his bathroom this particularly polished quality. 

You lather his shampoo into your hair, inhaling deeply as you do. It smells like him. It smells like Tendou after an evening practice, coming out of his mother’s bathroom as he rubs at his then-shorter hair. It smells like the way he does when he’s at home and you feel it in your lungs when you take a breath. 

You think of his strangeness. You think of the odd way he carries himself, the way he walks, the way his eyes slink back and forth in a decidedly lazy way. You imagine the cadence of his voice, the soft tenor hum of it when he speaks and the pointed way he says what he means while simultaneously saying the opposite. 

Then, you think about his recent behavior. You think about how tense he is, the way he clicks his phone on and off like he’s waiting for something. 

You’re not particularly sure why the concept of it rubs you the wrong way. It’s a particular feeling of uneasiness and one you haven’t felt with him before. It’s new—somewhat exciting—and dreadful. As you shower, rinsing his body wash from the planes of your own, you ponder on the feeling of it. Weighted in your gut, it sits like poison. You feel like you’re watching an anvil hang from a fraying rope, the weight too much to bear, though why you feel it, you don’t know.

When you leave the bathroom, Tendou is still seated on his couch. He doesn’t seem to hear you leave, and if he did, his body language doesn’t betray it. He sits, his legs extended out onto the coffee table in front of him, one ankle crossed over the other. The phone is still pressed to his head with one hand, his long finger holding the back of it to the shell of his ear. 

“I haven’t,” he says quietly.

There’s a pause and you can only presume that Ushijima is talking. 

“Yeah, it’s just-” he rubs a hand up under his hair, scratching at the back of his head, “it’s a hard thing to bring up.” 

Another pause, except in this one, he stares distantly into the space in front of him. You recognize that look, the one that tells you he’s somewhere far away. The corners of his lips pull flat and you watch as his eyes cloud over with a consuming thought. It’s the same as the night in the ramen shop, placid and somewhat melancholy. Tendou wears this look often lately, though it’s meaning is one that you can’t figure out. 

It casts over his face like a mask and even now, as he nods into the phone as if Wakatoshi can see it, you wonder what runs through his mind. You have Satori figured out but this expression is an anomaly, one that you can’t place your finger on. 

“What is?” You pipe up, walking around the side of the couch and plopping down. 

Tendou jumps with a start, his hand coming up over his chest before he gives a short laugh.

“Jesus, someone needs to put a bell on you,” he breathes. 

“I wasn’t even that quiet,” you laugh a little, “what’s so hard to bring up?” 

Tendou gives you a wry smile, dispelling the expression he wore a moment ago and donning another. You see it tug at the corner of his mouth before answers, “it’s a secret.” 

You roll your eyes, huffing a little. “C’mon, thought we didn’t have any?” 

“None that I want to share,” he says, giving you a lopsided grin. 

“I really hate you.” 

Tendou puts his head on your shoulder, peering up at you. “You promise?” 

You bark a small laugh and Tendou turns back toward his phone, his head still resting on your shoulder. You can feel his tufts of dark red hair at your neck, tickling your skin through the fabric of your pajama shirt and you lean into the touch absentmindedly. His free hand fiddles absentmindedly with a stray thread on the hem of your shirt and he mumbles to Wakatoshi that you just got out of the shower. Their conversation, now that you’re present, feels much slower than it previously was, like they’re deliberately trying to change the subject. 

Despite the touch, despite Satori’s blatant affection, the prospect of a secret tastes bad on your tongue. You’ve never been the type to pry. You’ve always believed that whatever you need to know, Tendou will tell. So why is it that you’re so uneasy right now? Distrust sews itself into your skin like a badge and you furrow your eyebrows a little as you watch the planes of Tendou’s face twist with lively expressions through his conversation, the lamp on the side table casting him in a faint orange glow that feels homely and somewhat eerie. 

You and Tendou head to bed together a short while later, dragging your feet across the carpeted floors before collapsing into bed. Tendou rolls over quickly, mumbling an absent-minded goodnight and while you stare at the ceiling and wait for his breathing to slow and steady itself, you ponder the inbetween. You’re not so sure which inbetween you’re thinking about though— whether you’re thinking about the inbetween of youth and stability—or something else entirely. 

— 

“Did you get the text?” Tendou calls from your living room. He’s posted himself up in there today, his laptop open as he clicks away at something he won’t show you. 

The text he’s talking about is one from none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi himself, telling you and Tendou that the three of you should meet up for dinner tonight. He suggested a restaurant downtown, near the station and you were thrilled to receive the text. 

“Yeah, I did,” you call, leaning back on your heels to peer around the corner at him. “Wanna meet up here first?” 

Tendou is quiet for a moment in the other room before he agrees, telling you that he’s going to send a message to Wakatoshi and let him know. You thank him briefly, returning to whatever it was that you were doing on your phone. 

You must admit, you have ulterior motives for wanting to go to dinner. It’s not that you aren’t thrilled to have the three of you back together. You are, deeply so. But secretly, you are hoping that it will bring back a sense of normalcy you’ve lost in the recent month. To you, it feels like the last normal night was a month ago in your apartment when Satori brought over wine after your break up. That was the last time he felt the way he always has. 

Recently, he’s been stranger than usual. You can’t help the rot that rises in your throat when you think about it. It’s an uneasy little bug, sending you queasy and anxious over the smallest changes, though you aren’t quite sure when it started happening. It’s hard to place, especially because it is about Tendou of all people. Until now, you’ve always felt comfortable telling him everything but for some reason, you worry that bringing this up will make him vanish altogether. Still, you hope that attending something nostalgic like this with him the way you always have will fix it somehow. You hope that maybe you’ve just been too sensitive and that after seeing Wakatoshi and eating a meal together, things will just click back into place. 

Maybe that’s just wishful thinking though. 

—

Sa-to-ri: u ready? I’m downstairs 

You check your phone, seeing it light up on the top of your bed through your mirror. You’d been checking something irrelevant about what you are wearing, fiddling with the waistband of your bottoms or the way your hair falls on your forehead. Nerves rise in your throat as you put on your shoes and lock your apartment door behind you, hopping down the stairs. 

“Well, don’t you look pretty,” Tendou hums, smiling up at you.

He’s wearing an oversized t-shirt and joggers. They cut off just above his ankles, revealing a worn pair of black high top sneakers. The sleeves of his shirt rest against his upper arms nicely and his hands are tucked into his pockets as he shifts his weight forward. It bunches up around his forearms, creating big, sloping pockets across the front of his abdomen where the hem of his shirt covers his waistband. You roll your eyes, catching the unusual heat rising to your cheeks and swallowing it down. 

“Thanks,” you exhale, “you trying to butter me up or something?” 

Tendou gives you a wry grin. “How’d you know?” 

You sneer lightly at him, “because you’re awful at hiding shit.” 

Tendou presses his lips into a small line. His eyes glass over a little as he starts to walk, keeping his hands in his pockets. 

“Anyway, what is it?” 

“What’s what?” Tendou raises an eyebrow. 

“The thing you want to butter me up for?” You furrow your eyebrows, laughing a little. 

“Huh? Oh, nothing. I just want to be on your good side.” 

“Scared or something?” 

“A little,” he hums, looking at his shoes before glancing sideways at you as he raises his chin to peer at the tops of the buildings lining your walk to the station. 

The restaurant is a few stops away in a newly painted building. It’s a few blocks from the station, lit up by electric blue lights characteristic of Kokubunchô. The crowds, which you should be used to, overwhelm you a little and you’re grateful for Tendou, whose height makes him impossible to lose. You’re surprised that Wakatoshi would suggest a place downtown, just off from the izakaya and clubs that make Kokubunchô such a popular destination for people our age. After all, he’s never been much of a partier, often choosing to abstain and stay in shape. 

It’s been a long while since you’ve seen him. Wakatoshi spends most of his time traveling around Japan and Asia, playing volleyball in countries you’ve never even thought to visit. He competes in global competitions and will most likely be recruited for the Japan National team for the Olympics. 

When you arrive at your designated meeting spot, Wakatoshi is standing outside. You know that before you even see him because people round the corner he stands behind while glazing backwards over their shoulders. They mutter about how big that man was, if they’ve seen him somewhere before, if he’s a celebrity. Tendou snickers under his breath, his head tilting a little like it’s on a spring, and you smile in response. 

You run ahead of Tendou and round the corner, greeted by Ushijima’s tall figure standing outside of the entrance to the building, lit up by the neon sign above him. 

“Finally!” You shout, bounding over to him and embracing him into a hug. 

“You should really announce who you are before you hug someone,” he says, his voice low and baritone as he wraps his thick arms around you. 

“I did,” you laugh a little, your excitement at finally being able to see him again climbing in your throat. 

“I wouldn’t consider that enough warning.” 

You pull away, pouting a little at him before cracking a wide smile. 

“How are you?” he continues. 

“I’m good,” you exhale, “Jesus, look at you. I think you got taller.” 

“I didn’t,” he says matter of factly, “they measure me a lot for the team. I would know.” 

“Still straightforward as ever,” you huff a little and Wakatoshi gives you a gentle smile. It’s barely there, but you’ve known him long enough to be able to notice it now. 

“No greeting for Satori?” Tendou feigns injury behind you, shrugging his shoulders and scuffing his heel against the floor. 

Wakatoshi scoffs lightly before stepping close. Then, the two boys hug each other, clutching tightly around the other’s shoulders as they mumble about how long it’s been since they’ve spoken in person. Satori makes an off-handed comment about Wakatoshi getting more handsome and Wakatoshi jostles his shoulder in response, saying something about Tendou being smoother around the edges too.

You watch, stomach swimming with a familiar feeling you get only when the three of you are together. It’s like you are all 17 again and nothing has changed. The way you speak, the way you feel, the uniquely comfortable atmosphere the three of you set with each other, blankets you like snow. 

Tendou walks into the restaurant first, followed by you, and then Wakatoshi behind you. People inside of the restaurant turn and stare when they duck under the doorway, standing to their full height in the restaurant. Even among people with similar heights, the two of them stand out. Tendou with his knowing eyes and Wakatoshi with his undeniably good looks. You are in the middle, caught between two magnetic forces that you’ve spent the majority of your life around. 

You settle at a small table in the back. It’s clean and hardly has enough room to fit the three of you around it comfortably. It’s a trendy restaurant, mostly famous for its matcha desserts which mix western cooking with Japanese flavors. The majority of the menu are smaller appetizers, but there are sandwiches as well as seafood options which you hungrily stare down. When the time comes, you settle on a salmon dish with miso seasoning, Satori decides on a spicy curry, and Wakatoshi orders the same thing you do but with a small side of tempura. Looking at the place now, you figure that it’s probably closer to an izakaya than any other type of restaurant. You look forward to dessert. 

“Are either of you getting drinks?” Tendou leans forward on the table on his elbows, giving a wry grin. 

You peer at him from the side, smiling slightly. “And you say I’m the alcoholic.” 

“You are,” he states, leaning forward and smiling at you. 

“I’m not,” Wakatoshi adds. 

“Well spotted, Ushiwaka,” Tendou snickers. 

“Yeah, you’re a regular Sherlock Holmes,” you laugh. 

“I meant that I’m not getting a drink,” he says flatly, pressing the ghost of a smile between his lips. 

You and Tendou glance at each other before bursting into a fit of giggles. Then, Wakatoshi follows with a laugh that’s deep seated in his chest. 

“I don’t know. Are you?” You ask Tendou, exhaling deeply. 

“I want one,” he shrugs. 

“Of course you do,” you chuckle a little. “Then, I’ll have a beer too.” 

Tendou tilts his chin upwards, his eyes narrowing as he gives you a little smile. It’s like he expected you to do the same, an affectionate and knowing little curl of his lips that sends heat rippling through your stomach. It takes a lot of strength to tear your eyes from him and when you do, you find yourself trying to shake the new feeling from your stomach as you inhale. 

“So Wakatoshi, how’s the team?” You ask as Tendou flags down the server and orders two beers and a glass of water. 

“They’re fine,” he says, smiling a little. “Team practices still happen even in the off season, but what’s important is weight training to make sure we stay strong.” 

“Is that why you were able to come back to Sendai for a bit?”

“Mhm, though I still train every day,” he offers, leaning back so that the server can set down the drinks on the table. 

“So driven…” Tendou smiles. 

“You should be playing, you know,” Wakatoshi says to Tendou. 

He waves his hand in response, dispelling the thought. “Me? Go pro? Nah, I think I’d be miserable. Volleyball was just a high school thing for me.” 

Wakatoshi shrugs his shoulders. 

“You gonna be on the Olympic team, ‘Toshi?” You pry a little, leaning forward. 

“I don’t know yet. We’ll find out next year.” His expression doesn’t betray anything, but you can hear the excitement in his voice. It makes the sound feel tight, like he’s trying to keep from shouting about it. You smile to yourself. 

“Look at you, you’ve got a whole career. Meanwhile, Satori and I have no clue what we’re gonna do in the future,” you chuckle, taking a sip of your drink. The condensation sticks to your hand. 

Then, Wakatoshi furrows his eyebrows and looks to Tendou. He looks back at him and for a moment, they sit there like that, communicating telepathically (most likely). It makes you uneasy, like there is something about Tendou that you’re not allowed to know. The uneasy feeling that’s made itself scarce the entire evening bullies its way to the base of your throat. You try to swallow it down, but to no avail. 

Tendou inhales and the moment is broken. The two boys settle back into their seats and glide past the strange occurrence. 

“I’m sure you’ll both figure it out,” Wakatoshi offers, smiling gently at you. “You’re very capable.” 

“I applied to a temp agency a week ago, so hopefully something comes of that,” you take another big sip of your drink. 

“Temp agency? Why didn’t you tell me?” Tendou pouts a little. 

“I mean, it’s not a sure thing. Just an application. Didn’t want to get ahead of myself.” You laugh. 

“Awww but I wanna hear about your life,” Tendou whines lightly. 

“Bro, you are literally in my house five days a week. You know just about everything.” 

Tendou shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair, mood shifting from the false sadness into something of realization. Has he only just now realized how much time the two of you spend together. 

“_____, Satori told me you and your boyfriend broke up.” Wakatoshi says. 

“Damn, seriously dude?” You shrink into your chair, letting the server place your food in front of you. It looks good and your cut of fish steams on the bed of rice it sits on. Your mouth waters. 

“Sorry, he asked about it,” Tendou shrugs his shoulders, picking up his chopsticks to start eating. 

You wave off the apology. It’s not like you weren’t going to tell Wakatoshi anyway. 

“Yeah, we did,” you say, swallowing the first bite of fish. 

“What happened?” he pushes. 

You shrug your shoulders, sitting back in your chair a little and pushing the fish around your plate. “We just weren’t compatible. I didn’t like him the way I thought I should and he clearly didn’t like me very much. He was kinda mean.” 

Tendou swallows his bite of food beside you and Wakatoshi glances up toward him. They exchange another look and Satori shakes his head, returning his gaze to the food. 

“That’s terrible. I’m sorry,” Wakatoshi offers. 

“Nah, don’t worry. I’m not all too beat up about it,” you laugh a little. “It might sound twisted, but when we broke up I didn’t really care all that much.” 

“I can vouch for that. They called him a cunt.” Tendou adds, smiling over his drink. 

“I did do that,” you confirm. 

“Sounds like them,” Wakatoshi gives a small laugh. 

The rest of your meal is spent in idle chatter. You and Satori have a few more drinks, trying to get Wakatoshi to order one in the later half of the evening, to which he dutifully shakes his head. You blather on about how much you miss him and when the next time he’ll be in Japan is while he smiles fondly and tosses sideways glances to Tendou who just shrugs because he knows you get like this. 

You realize, at some point, that unlike you and Tendou, Ushijima is not in the inbetween. He’s got a well-established career with a clear future path. He is not stumbling around blindly, but rather taking deliberate steps towards his future. You and Tendou, it seems, are caught in that particular place, walking yourselves in circles until you finally find the courage to walk in a line. You’re relieved to know that someone is in the circle with you. 

Briefly, you think about the looks Satori and Wakatoshi exchanged. Pointed, deliberate looks that exchanged information between the two of them. You’re not sure why it bothers you the way it does. It’s not as if they’ve never had secrets between the two of them before. This one, however, feels somehow heavier. It feels like it’s an elephant in the room between the two of them. You hate the inflated feeling it gives off. It swells and presses you against the wall, stealing the air from your lungs and sending panic to rise up through your throat. 

You’re sad to part with Wakatoshi, offering him a long hug and doing your best to squeeze the air out of him. He pats your back, laughing lightly about how he’ll be back eventually. You whine, telling him that he needs to call more. He promises that he will, though you know it will probably remain the same. The two of you have engaged in this perpetual cycle for years now. 

Satori hugs his friend goodbye as well, mumbling something to Wakatoshi that you don’t catch, to which he says that they can talk about it later. 

You scuff your feet against the floor the whole way home, trying to pretend that your plan to make things feel normal worked. 

—

You and Satori have clear boundaries. You always have. There are things you can and can’t do with each other that you both follow religiously. It’s not as if you’ve ever actually discussed it with him. The two of you have never sat down and actually talked about these rules you have in place. They are unspoken but mutually understood. 

You suppose that drawing those types of lines started in high school. Before then, it had never even crossed your mind that skinship or your particular ways of showing affection to each other could be taken as anything but platonic. Satori was the first of the two of you to get a partner. In your second year of high school, he’d started going out with a girl in his class. You’d never met her before then in earnest, though you’d certainly seen her around, mostly out of the corner of your eye. 

Tendou wasn’t all that popular in high school. Not just because of the way he looked (which you’ve always thought to be above average), but because of the somewhat aloof attitude he maintained. Between snide comments and a generally over-confident demeanor, most people found him off-putting. It didn’t take long though for a few girls to notice his better qualities. They noticed his fingers, long and lithe and wrapped in bandages. They noticed his smile, the coy kind that affects one side of his mouth before it affects the other. They noticed his height and stature, the lazy way he carries himself so that he always seems a little off kilter. 

To you, these things have always been obvious. His good looks have always been something that you’re keenly aware of. Whatever unique qualities he has only seem to add to them. 

Still, when he started seeing her, you and Satori seemed to fall in sync about these unspoken boundaries. One day, the line in the sand between you both was drawn into being, separating your friendship from anything beyond that. 

You’ve always been grateful for that little line, you think. It keeps things from getting confusing. It protects yours and Satori’s platonic relationship as much as it protects your romantic ones. You don’t read too much into things. Your heart doesn’t flutter when he touches you (or does it). You keep your pesky emotions at bay. It’s all thanks to that lovely little line. 

Sometimes though, like now, that line stares at you. For some reason, it feels like whatever is going on with Tendou is on the other side of it. You feel like he’s moved the line farther away from him, drawing a bubble and preventing you from stepping close. His situation, whatever it may be, is now beyond your grasp and you feel as if asking would be stepping over it. 

It’s the first time in your friendship, you think, that Satori has drawn a line all on his own. 

He’s back in your house today, lounging on your bed with his head hanging off the end. You can see the way his neck protrudes and bobs each time he swallows. It’s got a lovely angle to it and you can see the lines of lean muscle running up the sides of his neck. 

When he’d walked in, you’d found yourself shocked to see that he’d not only decided to get a haircut, but to buzz off all of his hair entirely. You’d gaped at him, reaching up to touch his head and lamenting the loss of his shoulder length hair. 

“What? You don’t like it?” he’d asked through a coy smile. 

“It’s not that it’s just… why?” you’d questioned, unable to shake the feeling that it has something to do with his secretiveness. 

Tendou adopted that familiar far off look and shrugged. “Needed the change. Kinda felt like I was going in a circle.” 

Then, he’d brushed past you and into your house, asking about something to drink. 

Satori’s looking at his phone now, scrolling through social media like he’s a robot stuck on repeat. Every now and then, his lips will quirk up a bit when he sees something funny, but otherwise, the only thing that moves are his thumbs and the gentle bob of his neck. 

You stand facing the mirror in your room, watching him through it as you busy yourself with something on the shelf adjacent. You’d been looking for a book to read but had been quickly distracted by your train of thoughts after seeing a photo of you and Satori from high school.

You keep it framed on your nightstand in a cheap wooden frame you bought from a thrift store before going to college. It was taken a few weeks before your graduation, standing in front of the school gym. Satori is in his volleyball uniform after playing a final skirmish with his team before he passed down his jersey. His hair is spiked up and his forehead is slick with sweat. He’s pulling you close to his body in the photo, his arm wrapped around your shoulder and his fingers secured on the other end of you. You can almost recall the feeling of his jersey, damp with sweat, and your smile in the photo betrays a slight grimace at the feeling of it. 

Satori, however, is beaming. His smile is radiant and his eyes are half closed in what looks like the beginning of a genuine laugh. He’d found it amusing to pull you close to him that day, relishing in the way you whined a little about how gross he was. Not that you really minded. You don’t mind much of anything if it’s Satori doing it. He’s special that way. 

A notification on Satori’s phone draws you from your thoughts and your eyes wander habitually to the reflection of his screen in the mirror. It looks like an email and Satori shifts when he gets the notification, sucking in a quiet breath as he quickly reads over it. Then, he closes the application. 

“Why are you staring?” He speaks abruptly, satisfied at the way you jump at being caught. 

“I was just wondering what you’ve been waiting for on your phone lately,” you admit, toeing the line he’s drawn. 

“Mmmmmmm,” he hums, not turning to look at you as a smile creeps up his features, “you curious?” 

“Mhm,” you answer, turning to face him properly. “Is it a girl?” 

At this, Tendou’s eyes slink backward to look at you over the crest of his eyebrows. His lips quirk up in a wry grin. It smooths across his features like liquid metal. 

“Why? You wanna date me?” 

You’re not sure why the teasing question flusters you so much, but it does. Heat bubbles in your stomach and rises to your face just as quickly and you chide yourself for the way you turn away from him. 

“I was just curious,” you huff, rolling your eyes to try and dispel the new sensation rising in you. 

Tendou gives you a cat’s smile through the mirror before he stretches his arms above his head and lets them hang over the side of the bed. 

“It’s not a girl,” he answers, laughing a little. Then, he pauses like he’s debating something before growing quiet and adopting the strange look he’s been wearing. “Nothing important really.” 

You furrow your eyebrows and eye the line in the sand. 

It’s killing you, not knowing. This melancholy and secretive facade Tendou has adopted is making him feel like a stranger and it’s eating you up inside. But you trust him. You trust Satori with your life and more, so you swallow down the uncertainty. It’s coming from somewhere unfamiliar. Somewhere possessive and needy. You ignore the fact that the feeling is coming from a place you previously thought your feelings for Satori didn’t come from. 

“You sure?” you press, clenching your jaw after the words leave your lips. 

“Yeah.” Tendou doesn’t look at you in the mirror, stretching his arms above his head. You think about growing pains. 

Lukewarm. The inbetween. You know what this off feeling is. That subtle space in which your lives have been in for the better part of the last five years. A delicate balance between present and future. A delicate balance between friends and something more. This feeling is different. You worry that it is the inbetween of affection and indifference. It’s going to eat you alive.

—

Tendou’s apartment is pleasantly disorganized. It is one of those spaces in which everything looks out of place, but never really is. Tendou knows where each thing is, even if you’ve always had trouble learning. While this is true for all of the places that Satori inhabits, you think it is especially true for his bedroom and the office. 

His room is littered with small boxes for little items he’s collected over the years. His shelves are stocked with manga he’s liked enough to collect. They aren’t organized in any particular way except by series, but the pattern seems to make sense only to Tendou. His nightstand always has a half drank glass of water on it and on nights when you stay over, there is one beside it for you.

In the corner, there’s a tall dark oak dresser full of his clothes, all of them folded neatly in drawers and tucked away until he needs them. On top of it, there are framed photos of his childhood, as well as one singular nationals trophy that he didn’t have the heart to throw out. You think all of it is endearing. There’s something lovely about entering this space and feeling him all around you. Any stress seems to melt directly off of your shoulders. 

“Wanna order in?” You pad into the living room where Satori is posted in front of the television playing some rendition of the Legend of Zelda games. 

“Huh?” He says before quickly interrupting himself. “Oh, yeah sure. What did you want?” 

Tendou glances at you over the couch, his eyes catching yours for a moment. He grins, his lips curling up in a delightful way, before he turns his focus back to the TV. 

“I dunno, chicken?” 

He chuckles, pausing his game and putting his arm over the couch cushion. Tendou tilts his head to the side and smiles. “You always want chicken. Same place, I assume?” 

You shrug. “Yeah well, I like their spice blend.” You lean your weight against the wall beside you. “So can we order chicken or not?” 

Tendou tilts his head up, pressing his lips together in a smirk and narrowing his all-seeing eyes. 

“Spice blend,” he chuckles, humming pleasantly like he’s mulling something over. Then, he clicks his teeth and you wonder briefly about the motion of his tongue when he does. “Yeah, let’s do it.” Then, he turns back to the TV and presses play. 

“Kay, I’m gonna order from my phone then,” you hum, rolling your eyes and unlocking the screen. 

“Sure,” he says and you pad over to his bedroom to sit down as you pick out what you want. “Oh! ____!” 

“Huh?” 

“If you’re ordering from the place down the street, I’m pretty sure I have a voucher for a free plate.” He calls.

“Oh, where?” 

“Office, I think. Somewhere on the desk.” 

You chuckle to yourself, walking down the hall and into the small makeshift office Tendou has set up. It’s in what should be a closet, with only enough space for a light and a small desk set up. When he’d moved into this place, he’d proudly told you about his plans, to which you told him that if it makes him happy, he should do it. 

“Who even keeps physical coupons anymore?” 

“Me, bro,” he laughs. “Just use it though, I’m pretty sure it’s gonna expire.” 

“Kay!” 

His desk is littered with paper. Most of them are things he’ll never use again; flyers he was handed on the street, takeout menus he usually looks at online, printed receipts for things he bought years ago. Only a few things are actually useful; printed recipes from the internet, a small booklet full of drinks from his job, and a thick recipe book with papers and post-its sticking out of it. 

You shuffle through the papers, looking for the coupon. You’re expecting something bright red and gaudy. Something that feels like it’s trying too hard to get your attention. When you find it tucked beneath the thick book of recipes, you almost just grab it and go. If it hadn’t been for the way your eyes lingered on the spot where it was for a moment, you never would have seen it. 

Underneath the coupon, is a clipped together stack of papers. A wax-covered yellow paper clip holds them together and at the top, it reads Le Cordon Bleu and then Diplôme de Pâtisserie. It’s been hastily translated into Japanese and you can’t beat the curiosity or the way dread begins to swirl in your stomach.

It’s an enrollment confirmation and clipped underneath it, there is a confirmation for the rent of a studio apartment in Paris. The date for the enrollment is two months from now and you grimace at the paper, making out what you can of the sloppy translation and French writing. 

In your hand, clipped with the yellow-paperclip, is all of the evidence of Tendou’s intention to leave. Worse yet, his intention to leave without telling you in advance. An inky black substance rises in your through, swelling there like lead before realization rounds the corner. In your head, the ball that’s been looming over your head for months now finally drops and you manage to make sense of his behavior the last few months. It wasn’t a girl, it’s never been a girl. It was this.

It’s hard to tell exactly what thoughts run through your mind as you register what you’re looking at. The first is that he’s been keeping this secret for longer than three months judging from the paperwork, the second is that he deliberately chose not to tell you, and the third is the phrase you’ve repeated to yourself since high school. Everything you need to know, Tendou will tell. 

You try not to spiral. You try to keep your feet rooted on the ground at the idea of this person you’ve known since adolescence simply going away so suddenly. None of it works. The secrecy of it cuts you like a slow-dragging knife, pressing into your skin and cutting a fine line from your stomach to your forehead. 

“_____!” Tendou calls. His voice startles you from your thoughts. “If you haven’t ordered yet, can you get me extra hot sauce please?” 

You don’t answer, instead starting to make the short walk from the office to the living room. 

Tendou says your name. When you don’t answer, you hear him pause his game and stand up, calling your name again. 

By the time he’s turned to start walking in your direction, eyebrows furrowed, you have reached the entrance to the living space. The papers are clutched in your hand and you can feel the edge of them pressing into your palm. 

“What are these?” You ask, attempting to keep your voice steady. 

“What’s what?” He tilts his head, smiling before he glances down to your hand. 

You hold it up so that he can see. 

When his gaze settles and he registers what you’re holding, his smile falls. You see the blood rush to his face and a look of shock cover his usually calm features. The expression is foreign on him and it sends a pang of dread through your chest. You had hoped that you were wrong. You had hoped that maybe he was going to tell you, that you’d show him and he’d laugh casually about how he just found out and wanted to tell you once it was settled. 

“What is it?” You say softly and Tendou struggles to find the words. 

He opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again. You watch as he scrambles, your lips pulling deeper and deeper into the frown that you can feel taking over your face. 

“Are you going away?” 

He nods. 

“When?” 

“September.” 

The air is knocked from your lungs and your voice comes out as barely a whisper. “That’s in two months, Satori.” 

“I know.” 

“How long have you known?” 

He doesn’t answer and when you look up at him, you can see the way that his eyes are growing red. 

“How long?” You say, a little more forcefully. 

“Since March.” 

“Jesus,” you scoff, “March? That’s nearly five months.” 

He nods, slightly defeated. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Tendou scrambles for the words again, and suddenly you feel like you’ve been poisoned. Your stomach turns and your vision goes a little dizzy and you consider the type of sickness that this will bring to your friendship. How sick will it make the both of you? How long will it be until you are well again? Tendou, whose face has fallen into something of dread and uncertainty, clearly feels it too. You blink, staring at him with wide eyes to give him the opportunity to salvage what small bits of your trust remain. 

Somehow, the expression he wears looks like he’s been about to form it for months. Like that blank expression he adopted was somehow an early version of this and it’s with a heavy heart that you realize that what you’d been seeing on him was the expression of keeping an awkward secret. 

“Why didn’t you tell me, Satori?” 

“I wasn’t-” he swallows. “I didn’t-” 

“You didn’t know how?” You frown, finishing his sentence. You feel the way your brows press in the middle. “You’re my best friend, Satori. There’s nothing you can’t tell me.” 

It hurts to know that he didn’t trust you with this. Unlike the secrets he keeps with Ushijima, this feels like a secret he’s deliberately kept from you. It wounds you to know that there is something Satori didn’t want to tell you, especially something this huge. You feel yourself bleed out onto his floor, though you’re not sure what the other emotions that come with this are. Something adjacent to hurt, like heartbreak. 

“You didn’t know how to tell me, so your solution was to just fuck off to France one day without warning?” You raise your voice a little and Tendou, who is usually so fearless, flinches back from it. You press your lips into a line.

It feels selfish and you can’t figure out why. None of this makes any sense at all to you. 

“You’ve kept secrets before too,” he says like he’s just thought of the justification. Satori scrambles like a young boy caught in the act, clamoring for a way out of the hole he’s dug himself. The more he reaches for his footing, the worse it hurts you.

You furrow your eyebrows. “Sure! I’ve kept secrets about who I fucked in high school. You kept secrets about your entire fucking future!” The words sting the front of your tongue. “Does Wakatoshi know?” 

Tendou doesn’t answer. 

“Does Wakatoshi know?” You say again, forcefully this time. Hurt makes its way into your lungs like a fever. 

“Yeah,” he says quietly, shoulders slumping forward. “He does.” 

You let out a laugh, reaching up to your face and wiping away the tears that have started to well up. When Tendou sees this, his eyes go wide and he takes a step towards you. Instead of letting him take you into his arms the way he always has, you step back. Then, you walk to the entrance of his apartment, grab your bag, slip your shoes on, and open the front door. 

“Congratulations. On the school,” you muster, though it feels spoiled. 

You want to mean it, but you don’t and the realization sends you out of the door and down the street. When you get on the train home, you finally allow yourself to cry, trying to put together why all of this hurts so much. Why are you spiraling the way you are? You wipe hot tears from your face with the backs of your hands, sniffling quietly while people struggle not to stare. The summer heat in the train car is stifling, clinging to your skin and making your face sticky with tears and sweat. 

—

You’ve never fought with Tendou like this before. Sure, you’ve had small spats that lead to a few days of not talking, but this feels bigger than that. This feels like the earth has somehow cracked between you both and opened a deep rift. You’re not sure how long it’s been forming, but you know it isn’t sudden. Pressure builds behind you both like a damn fit to burst. 

It’s not as if it’s only the move that’s doing this. You think it’s more. You think it has something to do with that line in the sand or whatever these new feelings for Tendou are. All of it has been somehow funneled into this one secret, spilling out in a messy and jumbled way that confuses you about feelings (or lack thereof) that you’d been certain about for over 10 years. 

The floor of your apartment is cool like glass. It’s always colder on the floor than it is standing. You lay down to escape the heat, clinging to the wood like a seastar to a rock. Humidity clings to your skin and makes you sticky. You grimace, rolling over slightly. 

It may seem dramatic to lay on the floor and think about Satori, but you often find yourself on the ground when you need to think about something important. The energy flows better down here. There have been several times in which Tendou has laid down on the floor with you to think. He did it when you needed to decide where to go to high school, he did it when you needed to think about saying yes or no to a confession, he did it when you were deciding where to take the entrance exams for at 17. Come to think of it, all of the major decisions in your life were made on the floor. Satori had been there for all of them. 

You breathe out an exhale and more heat sticks to your skin. Even the breeze coming in through the window is unbearably hot, though you suppose that’s just the nature of July. 

It’s been almost a week since you last saw Tendou, which isn’t too long in the grand scheme of things, but feels like a lifetime because it’s him. You can’t remember the last time you went so long without seeing or speaking to him. You can’t bring yourself to respond to his texts. He’s left four of them, each asking to talk to you about it. Every time you try to respond, you lose the courage to do it, sputtering to a stop just before you start to type. 

He’s been with you for all of the major decisions in your life, but you weren’t privy to even know about this one. Sure, Satori is allowed to do what he wants. You know that he’s not obligated to tell you everything, that he doesn’t have to inform you of every small change in his life, but you wouldn’t consider this a small change. Shit, this is bigger than any decision he’s ever made and he didn’t tell you about it. 

You’re not sure what’s worse, the idea that he kept it from you all this time or the idea that had you not stumbled upon those papers, he might have just vanished one day. It’s difficult for you to wrap your head around, the idea of Tendou just going away. For you, he’s been a constant presence in your life. Even when you went to college in Kyoto, he’d come to visit. The train ride was never more than a few hours and he would stay through the weekends or you’d make your way back up to Sendai where he attended the local university. 

Paris is thousands of kilometers away. Forget visiting on weekends, you might not even be able to visit him on holidays. Then comes the question of if he would even want you to visit. If he didn’t tell you he was leaving, maybe he wouldn’t want to have you there. It could be that Tendou’s closeness with you was too much and it had reached a boiling point you’d never noticed. 

It’s hard to believe that the boy you’ve known since 13 could think to go so far away from you. It’s difficult for you to wrap your head around, almost like the thought is presented to you in another language. It’s vaguely familiar, but deeply confusing, so much so that it sends you reeling. You’ve been reeling for the past few days, spun like a top and left to settle on your own. 

This summer is hotter than most and the air doesn’t aid your thinking. It leaves you feeling stagnant, distracted by the sound of cicadas outside your balcony. Heat and anger cling to your skin like sticky black tar and the more you think about you and Tendou, the more you feel the poison in your bloodstream. You wonder briefly if Tendou is feeling it too, though of course he’s brought it on himself. Even through your anger, it hurts you to know that he might also be hurting. 

When you met Satori, he was only an inch or so taller than you. He sprouted up around your second year of middle school, turning into the beanpole that he is today. He didn’t have a lot of friends when he was younger, not until halfway through your first year of middle school when he became a regular on the volleyball team. 

You suppose that he didn’t have many friends because of his name, or maybe it was because of the way he looked. Before Satori grew up, his big eyes and thin upper lip were even more pronounced than they are now and when he was 13, he hadn’t yet grown out of that awkward, middling phase all children go through. You never minded but the other kids certainly did. 

In fact, you always liked that Tendou matched his given name so well. Satori, referring to a yokai that can read minds. His all seeing eyes. The way he seems to know everything about you before you know it yourself. It all suits him so nicely. You’ve always liked that about him, those qualities which he’s owned from a young age and maintained throughout the majority of his life. 

They’re as dear to you as he is, and you know that they’ve become dear to him as well. 

When you were young, you never cared much for the gossip of other children, so when Satori joined your middle school class and was greeted with the whispers of your classmates, you paid them no mind. It seemed that Satori didn’t either, instead focusing on volleyball, which allowed him to realize a certain twisted kind of satisfaction he craved. Your friendship unfolded quickly, moving through the awkward acquaintance stage and into the friend stage quickly. 

The first summer you both spent together was one of the most memorable. Come to think of it, you and Satori had somehow managed to skip over the awkward part of making friends at 13, barrelling into the summer season together as comfortable friends. He’d sat out on your back porch with you often, eating cut watermelon your mother had prepared for you both. She was just glad to see you’d made a friend. As a young child, people found you unapproachable, as you’d always had an agency over yourself which other kids didn’t have. 

Satori was the same, though he was always more immature in his teasing. Tendou has always gotten a kick out of toying with others and in high school it half-way earned him his nickname of Guess Monster, which plays on the word “gesu” meaning “low-life”. You always thought it was mean, but it would be a lie to say that Tendou didn’t earn that name with his opponents. He always somehow managed to come across as somewhat sleezy to them, even if you know he’s anything but. 

It happens to be another part of him that you adore deeply. The way he makes you squirm has always been an enjoyable aspect of your neatly kept friendship. 

Still, that first summer and all the summers after, went the same way. On the porch or balcony with a plate of fresh watermelon, laying across the slightly-cooler floor and debating through bored slurs what to do next. You can recall every version of him. 13 and immature, grinning over the tops of sunburnt cheeks. 17 and laidback, with a cheshire-like grin and a penchant for teasing. 20 and in college, with long hair and an easy, attractive grin. 24, with freshly buzzed hair, sitting between the past and the future, getting ready to leave you behind. 

You know it’s unfair to think that way. He’s not leaving you behind. Not really. Satori is just moving forward. He’s taking another step towards his future and that’s supposed to be a good thing. It’s supposed to be good that he knows what he wants next. But you can’t find it in you to be happy for him. 

You think it’s selfish. It’s selfish of him to not tell you. It’s selfish to want to go so far away. It’s selfish to want to be somewhere that you aren’t. Most of all though, it hurts that you didn’t know. It aches somewhere deep and ancient in your chest, a kind of pain you’re unfamiliar with. Foreign and dull, pressing right up against your sternum from the inside. It feels like heartbreak, as alarming as that is. 

Satori has a side to him that you didn’t know. A secretive one. One that allows him to just slowly withdraw if he wants to. It makes you wonder what else he keeps from you. Everything you need to know, Tendou will tell. How far does that extend? What other things don’t you know? 

While the ache is there, you can also feel confusion. It’s a deep, skin-tingling sensation, like something not quite realized. You have no idea why you’re reacting as adversely to this as you are. It’s not as if him not telling you this yet means anything that you’ve spiraled into believing. It’s not like it means he doesn’t care about you, it just means that he was as tongue tied as you feel right now. 

Your friendship has always had clear rules and boundaries and you think that feeling the way you are and Tendou keeping this secret has somehow broken them. It’s like, in breaking your unspoken rule somewhere else, Tendou set off a chain reaction that caused you to break another. Now, all you can think about are the inbetween moments. The liminal space between friends and something more that you and Satori have occasionally crossed into. 

It’s not because you are fantasizing about it, nor is it because you necessarily want it to mean something, but it is because they mean the most to you. Those little moments are when you’ve felt the closest to him, as if your relationship were strengthened by your physical proximity and the feel of his hands on your arms or face. 

You think about those easy summers. About the way girls pass him on the street and giggle into their mouths when he glances at them. About the way he looks at you when he walks. All of it piles up like sand, heavy and easy to sink into. You could get lost in these feelings and it terrifies you. 

You’re so deeply uncomfortable with the change, both in Tendou’s life and in your steadily rounding realization. Why is that? You’ve separated from plenty of friends before just like this and never felt so hopeless. Leaving for college was no different. Even when Wakatoshi moved away permanently, you weren’t half so torn up. You didn’t mourn the loss of some unplacable thing that had yet to exist. But here you are now, laying down on the floor of your apartment and thinking about what it means that he’s going away and what it means that he didn’t tell you. What makes Satori so different? 

You’ve never had to do this before. Thinking about how to respond to Satori feels so strange that it’s making you sick. You used to always know what to say. What’s making this any different? Why does it feel like there’s a lump in your chest that’s going to make you sick? 

Maybe it’s because you can’t figure out his motivations. There are very few instances in which you can’t tell what Satori is thinking. After all, he’s the person you spend the most time with, of course you’re able to tell what he’s probably thinking about. You wonder what you could have done to hurt him, rolling onto your back and clenching your fists to quell the crack you feel forming across your chest. 

There’s so much anxiety, so much uncertainty. All you can smell is that first summer. All you can hear is that hot and humid day when you were 13. You wonder why it comes to you so clearly now. Is it because this is the last? Is it because you both have already been poisoned beyond healing? Or maybe it’s simply because that is when these feelings started to take root. 

Maybe they started to take shape a long time ago, this uncertain, swelling ache in your chest that feels so adjacent to love you could have mistaken it for exactly that. The only reason you haven’t is because you know better. You know better than to break the rules, than to love him like that when your friendship has never been anything more. 

You’ve been staving it off for so long, you think. This unplaceable desire has been curbed time and time again. You think back to all of the times it’s felt like Satori was about to cross a boundary and you wonder if he ever actually was or if you’d just imagined it because you wanted it so badly. Even now you’re not sure. You think about your past boyfriends, why it never worked. Had you ever actually cared about them or were you just seeking out traits you thought you saw in Tendou? 

Even if it is more than friendship, even if he does mean more to you than you thought, all you know is how angry you are. It swells in your chest, ballooning until it presses against the inside of your ribcage and makes you ache. You know this can’t be fixed alone. You could run yourself in circles and none of it would make any difference. None of this introspection will matter until you can talk to him, until you can be in his presence again. 

The threat of loss looms heavy over you, like an anvil tied to a string, it swings precariously above your head. Satori, even after keeping the monumental secret, is still your best friend and losing him, distance be damned, is unfathomable. He’s everything to you and the situation, its precariousness, makes you afraid. How long have you been in the space between loving him and losing him? 

—

Sa-to-ri: hey i won’t text you anymore after this, but please come by when you’re feeling up to it. i can explain. 

You read the text over and over in front of his apartment. There’s a thrumming in your chest, like nerves come alive, and you can’t seem to just open the door. 

Satori opens it first, swinging it open with one sharp pull and staring at you. 

“Were you tracking me?” you ask softly. 

“Yeah,” he admits. 

He steps to the side to let you in and you quickly remove your shoes, stepping into his apartment. 

Satori looks like the Satori he always has. Tall and lanky, with big, heavily creased eyes and his thin upper lip. His bottom lip, full and round, bounces slightly as you turn to face him. You rake your eyes over his buzzed hair, still not quite used to the way it looks on him. You remember running your hand over it a few weeks ago and feeling the soft, spiky texture of it. Part of you misses the long hair, though you think this suits him more somehow. 

His eyes, which are usually low-lidded and laidback, look swollen, and the bags under his eyes which you admire so secretly, are more pronounced. Satori looks tired and as soon as you register that it’s probably your fault, you let your shoulders fall. 

“How are you?” he questions softly, the familiar tenor ring of his voice tentative and needy as he follows it with your name. 

You shrug. “I’m okay. How are you?” 

“Been better,” he says, giving you a lopsided grin that you struggle to return. 

You nod at him, swallowing thick, and Satori lets out a shaky exhale and runs a hand over his buzzed red hair.

“I can explain what’s happening, if you want,” he offers. 

“It seems pretty straight forward,” you say. “You applied to a school in France, got in, and it spiraled out before you got the chance to tell me. Right?” 

Satori tilts his head, surprised. You’ve hit the nail on the head. 

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “I didn’t mean- I didn’t think that-” 

You nod, biting back the familiar sting of bile rising up your chest. “I know. I’m trying not to be mad.” 

“Are you?” he asks. “Mad, I mean.” 

You nod. 

“Why?” 

“What do you mean why?” you say, giving an incredulous snort. “You’re going away and you were going to do it without telling me.” 

Satori tosses his arms up a little, beginning to grow frustrated. “I thought you just said you understood what happened?” 

“I do!” you shout back. “Do you expect me to leap for joy because you’re going 9,000 kilometers away?” 

Tendou tries to step towards you, reaching out with his lithe fingers to attempt to soothe the anger he can feel rising in you. 

“I have no real idea why you didn’t tell me,” you admit, crumbling a bit. “I think I could go over it a million times in my head and never really understand. But I think the worst part is that I don’t even know what I’m mad at. I’m just mad.” 

He falters, opening and closing his mouth in an attempt to find something to say. You feel your eyes grow wet with tears. 

“Why is it so easy for you to just leave me behind?” You question quietly, your voice cracking as tears start to spill. You feel silly and selfish for asking him this, but it’s what comes up. That unfamiliar swell of emotions you’ve been experiencing for the past week all bring you here. “How can you just up and leave just like that without even asking me about it? Didn’t you ever consider that I’d want to know and celebrate with you?” 

“____,” he says quietly. 

“And I feel so dumb because I know I should be happy,” you cry, wiping your eyes. “I know I should be happy that you’re taking the first steps toward your future, but I can’t be. I’m so hurt, Satori and I’m so sorry that I am.” 

You shake your head a little when Tendou steps close to you, unable to lift your head to look at him. 

“I know you have your own life and your own future,” you say, nodding your head. “I know. But I don’t know how you could ever want to go so far away from me. I don’t think I could ever do that.” 

It’s not accusatory, but uncertain, like you’re weighing the words on your tongue. It almost sounds as if you’re questioning your own feelings. It even surprises you and you stare at the floor between your feet to try and ground yourself. You can hear Satori breathing. It’s a steady sound, occasionally hitching and giving away his emotions. 

“Do you love me?” he speaks up quietly. You raise your head, eyebrows furrowed. “Do you love me like that?” 

You don’t know what to say or how to answer. The question has forced your gaze back up to him. His small eyebrows are pulled together in the center and his lips, usually tinged with a small grin, are pulled downwards. You ache at seeing him like this. 

“Because I do,” he adds, staring at you. 

“You what?” It shocks you, and you shake your head a little as if that would clear up the misunderstanding. You watch as he breaks every boundary you both have ever created. 

“I have for a long time. I love you and I’m not leaving because I don’t,” Satori looks almost unrecognizable, so deeply passionate and emotional, but there’s something familiar in it. There’s an emotion that you’ve seen somewhere before. “I didn’t keep it from you because I don’t.” 

“What are you saying?” You can hardly hear your own voice over the sound of your heartbeat. 

“Do you love me?” He steps towards you, adamant in receiving an answer. “Because I really need to know, man. I can’t do this without knowing.” 

You try to gather your thoughts. All of the teasing, all of the little lost glances Satori would adopt, all of the secrecy. It was because he loved you? It was because he loves you? Even the thought feels heavy, like it’s coated in lead. The idea drops into the pit of your stomach, weighing you down and for a moment you think you may be sick. 

Do you love him? Do you love him the way he wants you to? You look at him, fingers trembling. 

“I don’t know,” you swallow. 

“Come with me,” he pleads, “just come with me.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I don’t know,” he says, running a hand forward on his head. “Because I love you. Because you drive me insane. Because I didn’t even realize I was hiding it until it was too late to not be hiding it. I never meant to let it get this far I never- I never meant to make you cry,” he says, stepping forward and taking your hands in his. “You’re my best friend. I never wanted- I never wanted to lose you and I was so scared and I didn’t- I didn’t know what to do.” 

You take in his explanation, nodding slowly. “So your solution was to say nothing?” You frown at him. 

Satori stares at you. “I’m sorry,” he squeezes your knuckles, “come with me anyway. Even though I didn’t tell you. Come with me.” 

You stare at him for a second, attempting to process the speed at which your brain is moving.

“I can’t do this without you,” he admits, letting his shoulders fall forward and casting his eyes toward the floor of his apartment. 

This sends you reeling more than anything he’s said yet. Satori, by nature, is fiercely independent. He’s fiercely driven and internally motivated. Most people, when they meet him, can recognize this instantly. It makes the admittance heavy, like it’s waterlogged. You gape at him. 

Your eyes follow the familiar planes of his body. His round, double-lidded eyes which are so familiar to you that you would know he’s watching you without even looking. The sharpness of his cheekbones. The undereye bags that you love so deeply. You follow the trail his cheeks make to his mouth, slightly parted and glossy with spit. His neck, leading down to his collarbone. The exposed parts of the muscles, now visible to you from any angle since he cut his hair. 

He’s looking at you with a desperate, wild look. It would be frightening if it were anyone else, but it’s Satori. It’s your most loved person. The one person you could do anything with and be okay. 

The boundaries which you’d relied on so often in times like this, don’t exist anymore. There’s no inbetween to fall back on, no safety net to keep you from falling completely. If you want you, you could give into this entirely. You don’t have to catch yourself. You don’t have to sleep on the couch. There’d be no more side-stepping and avoiding and wondering if you wish it or if you dread it. 

“Okay,” you say quietly, inhaling. “Okay.” 

Tendou looks at you for a minute, blinking. His face is so familiar and being able to look at it like this is like a homecoming. 

“Are you still mad?” he asks quietly, his hands still gripping yours. 

“Yeah,” you admit. 

“Can I kiss you?” He breathes out. 

“Yeah.” 

Satori leans forward, bringing his hand to the side of your cheek gently. He’s so close. The boy you’ve known since 13. You can feel his breath on your face, trembling slightly as he draws closer. You screw your eyes shut as his lips meet yours. Familiar is the word that comes to mind. You’ve never done this with him before, but you can map out the way they look from the feeling of them alone.  

You inhale sharply and Satori leans in closer, bringing his other hand to your face and deepening the kiss. He cups your face firmly with both hands, pulling you close to him as his shoulders drop and he lifts your face to get a nice angle. Everything about his touch is different, but somehow deeply familiar. It’s like you’re meant to be here like this with him. Like you’re meant to be in his arms, which your face cupped between his long, lithe hands. 

He pulls away from you, leaving you dazed and breathless. Looking at him from this close feels like a privilege. It’s like you can see every single detail about him that you’ve ever loved. You reach up to touch his face, running your thumb across his under-eye bag. 

“I’m sorry,” he says again, his lips swollen. 

You shake your head. “I should have been happier for you.”

“Mmm, you always worry about other people like that,” he says softly. “I’m the one who acted like an asshole.” 

“I still don’t want you to go away.” 

“I know,” he leans forward, pecking your lips. “But it’s not for a little while. We’ve got time.” 

You kiss him first this time, pressing forward until your lips find his. Tendou immediately licks into your mouth, deepening it with a groan and pulling your body flush against his. 

There’s so much relief in touching him like this, in feeling the slip and slide of your skin against his. It feels right, so right that all of your previous experiences begin to pale in comparison.

He is so dear to you that it is overwhelming. All of it comes at once as he lays you on the bed, hovering over you with his eyebrows pulled together. Everything that he is is so dear. His hair, his smile, his low-lidded and heavy creased eyes. Oh, how you love him. Any anger slips away in the realization. 

You’ve never seen him look quite so shy, nor so hesitant. His hands, which are usually so sure, run up your sides at an awkward pace, like he can’t quite get a hold of what’s happening. You feel that your expression mirrors his, that the pace of your breath betrays the nerves you’re feeling. 

Satori hovers over you, his shirt pulled off to reveal the pale expanse of chest you’ve seen a million times. His chest heaves, like he’s out of breath, his round shoulders supporting the weight of him as he looks at you. His eyes betray a sense of adoration. It’s an emotion you’ve seen in him a few times, similar to the expression he wears when he plays volleyball. It looks like he’s being consumed. Then, he tilts his head at you and smiles. You smile back at him, reaching to hesitantly touch the back of his head and pull him close to you. 

His buzz cut feels soft to the touch and Tendou gives in when he feels the warm pads of your fingers at the back of his neck. He lowers himself closer to you, shifting onto his forearms and then dipping his neck down to kiss you, beckoned by your gentle touch. You feel his knee press into the mattress between your legs and gasp when he moves it up to brush against your center. 

There’s a strangeness to being touched there by him. Along with the relief of friction, comes the oddness of who. That’s not to say that it doesn’t feel right. It does, though to ignore the years of history between you two would be a disservice. That strangeness, however, only fans the flames of your desire. This is a part of him you’ve never seen before. 

Satori’s fingers snake down your abdomen where your shirt has ridden up. They’re cold and you can almost imagine the round and somewhat pointed look of them. You glance between you both, admiring the knobby curve of his knuckles and the way he toys lightly with the elastic of your waistband. 

“Can I?” he breathes out, barely above a whisper and so laced with desire that you almost think he might whine. 

“Go ahead,” you exhale and he gives you a little smile before dipping two fingers between the folds of your cunt and pressing lightly on your clit. 

You gasp, arching your back up at the cool sensation of it, slowly relaxing as he starts to move his fingers in a steady circle. When you open your eyes, you see that he’s watching you, his neck craned down to peer at the expression you’re wearing. 

“Stop that…” you laugh lightly. 

“Stop what?” he croons, pressing lightly at your entrance with the pad of his finger. 

“Staring…” 

Satori leans down and kisses you while sliding one finger in. You feel him smile against your mouth when you gasp, the corners of his mouth curling up delicately as his mouth leaves yours. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to touch you like this,” he says quietly, still against your mouth. Then, with that lovely upward lilt to his voice, “let me stare a little longer.” 

You huff a little, fighting the heat rising to your cheeks and he laughs a little bit, kissing down the exposed parts of your neck. 

“I could do this instead,” he hums, teasing a little as he pushes your shirt up and places a kiss between your breasts. 

His lithe fingers cup up to cup your chest, pinching your nipple over your bra with two fingers as he smears his lips down your stomach. You don’t know how to respond, instead watching the rise and fall of his head with your breathing as he leaves a trail of kisses down your abdomen. 

When Satori reaches your waistband, he pulls his hand from you and hooks two fingers around it, shimmying it down your legs. 

It’s not as if you haven’t undressed in front of him before. Satori has seen you at your best, your worst, and all of your inbetweens. You’ve changed in front of him more times than you can count, even going so far as to skinny dip together the summer before college. Still, this time is different. This time, when Satori undresses, he’s looking at you with his eyes that see everything. He’s watching the expanse of your body, gaze crawling up each inch of exposed skin until his gaze rests on your now exposed cunt. 

You let out a subconscious whine when his breath hits you and his lips curl up a little when you do. He rests his head on the inside of your thigh, looking up at you from between your legs. 

“Feeling shy?” 

“Obviously,” you force out, covering your face with your forearms. 

“Aw, what?” he pouts. “Don’t hide from me.” 

His voice is so sincere and so fond that it draws you out from behind your arms. He’s still looking at you, smiling from where he lays between your legs. 

“There ya are,” he says, a lopsided grin spreading across his features. “I’m gonna touch you now.” 

Then, he spreads you open with two fingers and licks one long stripe between your legs. You shiver, your hand instinctively flying up to his head where you grow frustrated that his long hair isn’t there to hold onto anymore. He gives you a small smile from between your legs, holding your pussy open, before dipping back down and securing his mouth around your sensitive clit. 

Something about this is so deeply embarrassing. Maybe it's the fact that it’s Tendou, or maybe it’s because you haven’t had someone go down on you this well in a long time. Either way, you feel the humiliation in your teeth like sugar, your knees knocking inward every now and then when he hits a particularly sensitive spot. 

Satori hums into your cunt every now and then, tongue lathing over your sensitive bundle of nerves. Everytime you twitch or gasp, he gives a pleasant little hum that you feel buzz through you, then he looks up to check on your reactions. His hands, which are so familiar you think you’d know them only by touch, wander over your thighs and up your stomach to your breasts. They don’t stay in one place for long, instead running all over your skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake. 

You’ve always liked Satori’s hands. Ever since you met him, you’ve thought they were nice. They’ve got a gentle look to them. They’re big and his fingers are long, but they’re thin, with smooth and somewhat knobby knuckles from injuring them so often in volleyball. They’ve always been hands that you wanted to be touched by and now that they’re running softly over your skin, you find yourself shivering at the overload of sensitive touches. 

Every one of Satori’s touches are gentle. Even his tongue between your legs, which winds the coil in your stomach tighter and tighter, is gentle in his appreciation for you. It’s like he’s experimenting ever so slightly, like he’s cherishing you while simultaneously figuring out what makes you tick. He already knows everything about you in a platonic sense, now he gets to learn in a sexual sense. 

Still, despite the gentleness of his touches, it is all too much. His hands, his mouth, the feel of his tongue as he sucks on your clit. Even just the way he looks, eyes closed and brows pulling upwards, is overwhelming. He moves his face side to side slowly, smearing you across his face, before he looks at you with low lidded eyes. 

The knot in your stomach tightens and you begin to swelter. Your face grows hot, lightheadedness flooding the space between your ears as you’re worked closer and closer to your high. You gasp, reaching to run a hand over his buzzed hair. 

He reaches up behind his head and knots his fingers with yours at either of your sides. You squirm against him, desperate as you build higher and higher. Satori groans lightly as you choke out a light warning, trying your best to not sound as broken as you feel. He nods, lapping at your cunt with a flat tongue until you feel you are fit to burst. Your chest heaves, your head spins, you begin to peak and then, Satori stops. 

Your voice catches in your throat. It’s a feeble, pitiful sound that catches and tapers into a low whine. You buck your hips forward, legs feeling like white-hot sandbags as your climax slips steadily away from you. 

Satori tilts his head at you, giving a wry grin. His signature smile is coated in you and his mouth and chin glistens in a way that feels incredibly vulgar. You tremble lightly as he wipes his face with the back of his arm and sits back on his heels. You watch the heave of his chest, lean muscle shifting underneath pleasantly warm skin. Starry freckles dot pleasantly across his chest and you briefly wonder where on earth he got them. 

As the frustration wanes, you find yourself wanting to be closer to him, desperate to build your high back up. 

“I kind of liked that reaction,” he drones lightly, leaning over you as you beckon him. 

“You’re such an asshole,” you breathe out, catching his mouth with yours. 

He hums into it, lips curling as he kisses you softly. 

“Uh oh,” he says against your mouth, “am I on your bad side now?” 

“Yeah,” you respond, reaching down between you both to run your hand lightly over the bulge in his boxers, “the worst of it.” 

Your response is absent-minded and quiet, not retaining your usually snarky attitude. Right now, the only thing you’re thinking about are the points of contact between you and Satori. There’s only touch. 

Satori doesn’t respond, instead letting his head hang between you both as you reach under his waistband and wrap your hands around him for the first time. He’s long and not particularly thick and you drag your hand up the length of him just to test his size. Satori’s so hard that you think it must hurt him, his tip wet with precum. 

He shudders over you, his shoulders tightening as you run your thumb over the tip of him. He’s more sensitive than you would have expected and you tilt your head slightly to watch the way he screws his eyes shut. 

He looks so new to you like this. Everything is new. It’s so new, in fact, that you can push aside your own desperation in favor of witnessing it. Though the person is familiar, the situation is not. It makes you feel like a virgin. Well, it makes you feel like a virgin and not a virgin at the same time. You’re having fun just playing with him, running your fingers along the length of him. It’s like getting to show him what you know, all with the butterflies of a virgin. 

You suppose he feels the same. Maybe that’s why he’s got his head tilted down, only looking up to give you a strained smile whenever the head of his cock brushes your slick cunt. 

There’s so much feeling. That’s the only way you can describe it. There is so much feeling between you both, humming and shifting and pressing against your sternums from the outside, begging to be let in. It’s tangible between the two of you, so present that you think you could grab it with your hand, but neither of you move to take it. Instead, you press closer, letting it sit heavy in the air between your faces. 

Satori doesn’t move to push himself inside of you and you don’t move to guide him there. Instead, you let the tip of him press lightly against you, running your fingers up and down it. The tension, made up of your frustration and feelings, balloons until you are certain it will burst. Your lower stomach winds and coils despite how gentle the touches are and desire makes its way into your throat where it sits leaded and heavy. 

He groans lightly over you, his hips shaking lightly with how long he’s been holding himself there. You run one hand over the curve of his shoulders, feeling the way the lean muscle shifts as he tenses and untenses. 

Finally, he pushes past the tight ring of your cunt with a low whine and you move to wrap your hands around him. The pads of your fingers press into his back, leaving marks in skin that you’ve seen a hundred times over. He trembles over you and your focus is pulled between your legs where you feel the pressure of Satori there. He presses forward until his hips are flush with yours and you’re made breathless by the sticky pressure of his pelvis against yours. 

He stays still for a while, tilting his head to the side to catch your mouth. You feel his breath come in quick bursts, but he never moves to fully kiss you, instead brushing his lips against yours as if to draw the desperation from it. You grow antsier by the moment, pushed to frustration quickly by the stillness of his hips and the distance of his mouth from you. When a low whine escapes your mouth, Satori smiles silently and flicks his hips forward once. 

You tip your head back and Satori chases your mouth, finally kissing you lightly as he starts to rock back and forth. 

He finds a slow rhythm. It’s deep and overwhelming, each thrust pushing deep into you until you feel the press of pressure in your stomach. He doesn’t so much thrust his hips as he does roll them at steady intervals, pressing the tip of himself up and into that gummy spot inside of you. 

You’re sticky between the legs. You can feel it each time he pushes into you, dripping from your pussy down to the mattress. Satori smears it with his hips on purpose. You can tell from his expression that he’s enjoying the mess, his familiar face watching for your reactions as he experiments with you. 

“You’re so fucking pretty,” he says through gritted teeth. His hand comes up to brush the side of your cheek. 

You don’t know how to answer, cut open by the affection in his voice and the way pleasure sews itself through. 

“You’ve always been so pretty,” he says again, bending down to kiss your neck. “But you’re even prettier like this. I don’t want to share it.” 

You shiver, “Then don’t.” 

Satori hums lightly, dragging his mouth down your chest to take a nipple in his mouth. He speaks around it. “I like the way you sound when you try and talk while I’m fucking you. Talk s’more.” 

The sentence is so dirty that it feels like your face is lit on fire, “No.” 

“Come on,” he teases, popping your nipple from his mouth and sitting up completely. He hits you deeper like this and you feel him twitch inside of you. “Just a little?” 

“Satori,” you whine a little, breathless. “I’m embarrassed.” 

“Of what?” He questions, reaching to take your hand and press it to your stomach. 

“I don’t know,” you grunt, gasping when he adds pressure to your stomach. 

“Of that?” he grins, fucking his hips into you sharply. You can hear the sound of your wetness. 

“Yeah,” you gasp, “that.” 

“Don’t be,” he mumbles, leaning over you again to speak against your mouth. “It’s really hot.” 

Your stomach flips, turning over as the pressure and his words come to a head in the space between your ears. Your cheeks heat and your stomach seems to roll beneath your skin. You’ve heard Tendou say all sorts of things about all sorts of people, but for some reason, the idea that he finds you hot sends you syrupy. 

“Satori,” you breathe out, tipping your head back to let him nip again at the sink on your neck. 

“Hm?” 

“Nothing,” you sigh. “Just wanted to say it.” 

“Again,” he says, punctuating his sentence with his hips. 

“Satori.” 

He groans, laughing a little. “Sounds different when you say it now.” 

He’s right. You’ve said his name a million times, but it sounds different now. There’s more intimacy to it, like you’re not just calling to him, but for him. The distinction to you is important and the sharp sound of the syllables leaving your mouth only serve to heighten your desire. 

Pressure mounts in your gut like water against a dam. You feel it build there while Satori presses his hips deeper. You repeat his name, embarrassed but calling out for him nonetheless. He obliges every time, meeting your pleas with heavy sighs that give away the closeness of his peak. 

“I’m gonna-” you choke, grabbing at his shoulders. 

“Yeah, baby,” he breathes, “me too. Whenever you’re ready, okay?” 

You nod, meeting your high with a dizzy head. Satori holds you still while your hips buck and your knees buckle beneath him. He follows not long after, spurred on by the press of your thighs around his hips. 

It takes a long while to come down. The haziness fades away but even after several long minutes, the glow does not. It sticks you to both like summer heat, inescapable and rich. Satori plays with the small baby hairs by your forehead and you let him, resting your cheek on his sticky chest. You’re not sure of what to say. It’s difficult to orient yourself. 

“Shit,” he mutters softly. 

“What?” Your stomach drops. 

“Nothing,” he says, running a hand down his face. “I think I’ve just got it way worse for you than I thought.” 

“Oh,” you say, nodding, letting silence settle over both of you before you break it once again. “I think I love you.” 

“Yeah?” he says quietly, lifting his head from the pillow a little. 

“Mhm,” you say softly. 

Satori presses his smile into the side of your head. 

“I’m a little nervous,” you say, laughing quietly. 

“Of what?” He grins. “That you’re gonna like me too much?” 

You slap his chest lightly, “Definitely not.” 

“Harsh,” he laughs a little. 

“I’m nervous because what if things don’t work?” you admit quietly. “We’ve known each other for so long, Satori, but what if one day we can’t stand each other? What if in the future we don’t even talk anymore?” 

“You trying to jinx it?” he laughs a little. 

“No,” you pout. 

“Well, look,” he says, lips curling in the corners, “there’s no way in hell I could ever get tired of you and I’d never let you get rid of me. I’ve been haunting you since we were 13 and I don’t really plan to stop.” 

“Haunting?” You scoff. “You know, Satori, you’re really fucking weird.” 

“That right, baby?” 

“Eugh,” you laugh a little. “Gross.” 

Satori shrugs. 

“I’m still upset you didn’t tell me about France either.” 

“I know,” he says a little softer. “I really-”

“You don’t have to defend yourself,” you say. “I think I’m just going to be mad about it for a while. You’ll just have to put up with me.” 

“Okay,” his voice sounds small and you turn over onto your stomach and press your forehead to his chest. 

“Everything feels so complicated now,” you say softly.

“Hey,” he tilts your chin up. “Do you love me?” 

“Yeah,” you answer, fighting the heat rising to your cheeks. 

“Good,” he says, giving you a boyish grin. “I love you too. That’s not so complicated, right?” 

The words of affection feel strange in the same way new shoes do. They fit, but they’re foreign. You have to orient yourself to the way they make you feel, but the joy of wearing them hums to life in your chest like a stringed instrument. Satori’s lips curl into a cheeky grin and the expression is so familiar that it makes you ache. It’s mischievous, like he’s not quite being serious and if you didn’t know him better, it would make you nervous. But you do know him better. You nod lightly and let his smile infect you the same way it has since you were 13. 

The glow remains. 

—

Sa-to-ri <3: you ready? 

You: ya coming now. 

Sa-to-ri <3: kk i’m outside. 

Your heart leaps into your chest. It swells there, heavy and affection filled. When you step outside, Satori looks up at you, pressing his palm to the wall behind him and pushing forward in one fluid motion. You watch recognition flash across his face the same way you feel it flash across yours and then, his eyes soften. His lips melt into an affectionate and easy going grin as you approach him. 

You fly down the steps, unable to choke back the small laugh bubbling at the back of your throat. 

“Satori,” you breathe as he takes you into his arms. You bury your face in the extra fabric of his sweatshirt, inhaling his familiar smell.

“Hi,” he chimes softly. You feel him rest his head on yours then, he sways a little bit. 

“I really missed you,” you sigh, unwilling to let go. 

“I missed you too,” he laughs a little and you feel his fingers come up to cradle the back of your head. 

How long has it been since you’ve seen him? Four months? Maybe five? Since moving to France, he’s come back to visit once for only a few days and though you talk to him on the phone almost every day, it’s not enough. It’s never enough unless he’s here. 

When you pull away, he takes your face in both of his hands and looks at you like he’s cataloging everything that’s changed about you since you were separated. His eyes trace the lines of your face and yours do the same to his. 

“You got prettier,” he smiles lightly. 

“Liar,” you laugh a little.

“Nope.” 

Satori leans forward and places his mouth on yours gently. You suck in a sharp inhale, heart racing against your ribcage. Even a year later, he still makes your heart leap out of your chest. You missed the way he tastes, relieved to finally be able to taste him again. 

“You buzzed your hair short again, baldy,” you laugh, reaching up to run your hand over the spiked surface of it. 

Satori rolls his eyes, They glide upwards as his head follows the motion of them and then, he scuffs the tip of his shoe against the floor. He’s wearing a pair of worn black high top converse. You’ve seen them many times before in the entryway of his old apartment, but in his time away they’ve become so well worn that they’re gray in certain areas. 

Tendou gives you a wry smile. It’s a ghost across his face as he narrows his eyes a bit in a familiar way. “Easier to manage this way at school.” 

“Mm, I bet. You sure you’re not just losing hair?” You tease. 

“Even if I were, I think you’d date me anyway.” 

“You got me,” you laugh, turning to walk down the street with him. 

Satori’s fingers automatically tangle with yours. You feel his knuckles slide past your own, the tips of his fingers cool but his palm warm and wide. Your mind runs at a mile a minute and you realize that you have no idea what to say to him. Right now, his familiarity and your longing for it are overwhelming. All of your thoughts are abstract and the warm, fuzzy feelings are unplaceable. They live in your throat. 

Instead of talking, you look over at him. The hair he’s just recently buzzed again highlights the delightful round shape of his head and you think it suits him. He looks clean and trimmed, something unusual for Satori, but you don’t find yourself missing his shoulder length hair. Instead, you like this metamorphosed version of him, somehow grown from the man he was when he left. You resist the urge to reach up and run your hand over the top of it again. 

It’s nearly 9pm and, as usual, the sidewalk is littered with people on their way home or out with friends. Girls pass Tendou in the street with little glances. They peek to the side as he walks past them, admiring the sway in his step and the alluring way he slouches forward the way they always have. These same girls giggle into their mouths the same way they always do. It’s easier to see now that you know how to feel about him, that Tendou is attractive. He’s always been that way, but now, as these girls whisper about you being his girlfriend, you find yourself giddy to be able to say that you are. 

You take stock of him beside you. He’s long and lean, staring ahead at the building just beyond the sidewalk in its seemingly endless stretch into the sky. His eyes slink back and forth between the screens illuminating the street with ads and every now and then, his gaze will stop on one he finds interesting and he will squeeze your hand. You watch him through the corner of your eye until you have to look away. 

The walk to the ramen shop is longer from your apartment than Tendou’s old one, but it’s familiar. You’ve not been back there since Tendou first moved to France last September. Still, each step that you take feels so natural that you could do it blind. 

When you reach the familiar ramen shop by Tendou’s old apartment, you notice that the blue curtains in front of the door have been replaced. The kanji is cleaner now and the bottom isn’t fraying quite the same way it used to. Tendou still holds them to the side for you, unlacing your fingers and ducking through the doorway after you. When you walk in, you find that now there are two ramen chefs behind the counter. The old chef, the one you grew up with, is toward the back of the bar and in front is a young man with features like his. 

You settle evenly into the bar, smiling softly at Tendou when he looks at you. When the old ramen chef sees you, the corners of his eyes crinkle in a welcoming smile. 

“It’s been a long time since you two have been here! What’s been keeping you away?” he exclaims, placing his hands on the bar. “The same usual orders?” 

“Oh, this and that,” Satori hums. “I moved to France and they hate coming here alone.” 

“That so?” The chef smiles. 

You both nod and Tendou slips into an easygoing rapport with the man, leaning his chin onto his hand as he talks. You watch the way the muscles in his arm flex and the way the corners of his mouth curl into a smile, sinking quickly into the comfort of the space. 

“You two together yet?” The chef glances between the both of you. 

Satori leans back lightly, looking sideways at you before he shrugs his shoulders. He doesn’t offer a verbal answer and you find yourself following suit in his shrug. 

“Yup, we’re in love,” you say, leaning forward and fighting the heat that rises to your cheeks. 

The chef waits for your subsequent denial but when it never comes, he smiles knowingly and pats the counter softly. He doesn’t offer his usual chiding remark. There’s no reason to anymore and instead he turns to fix your bowls. The soup will take 8 minutes to prepare. You have 8 minutes to sit here with Tendou and ask him everything you want to ask before you both become inevitably engrossed in your meals the way you always have. Tendou no longer adopts that signature spacey look he would have at times like these.

“How’s Paris?” you ask. 

Tendou’s eyes slink along his lower water line and he turns his head—still resting on his cheek—to look at you. “It’s good. Kinda cold. Make sure you bring lots of jackets.” 

You nod and think back to your apartment, filled with boxes that will be moved out and shipped ahead to Tendou’s Parisian apartment. All of your things, your life, are packed into those boxes. Scores of memories and matter, evidence of the years spent with him, neatly organized to be transplanted somewhere else. The apartment itself doesn’t matter much though, your home, you’ve found, is wherever he is. 

“Yeah? How’s school?” You lean forward to be closer to him. 

“Really good,” he sighs a little. “I’m really happy. Gonna be happier when you’re out there to see me graduate though.” 

“I’ll be there to see the other stuff too, like when you open your own shop.” 

“Mhm,” he laughs a little. “Did I send you the picture of the new place I was thinking of?” 

You shake your head a little. “Not yet, show me now.” 

Satori gives you an excited grin before he pulls out his phone to show you. The tab is already open on his phone, like he’d been staring at it only moments earlier and daydreaming about his future there. It’s on a street corner with big glass windows. The space looks empty from the photos, already cleared out and ready for him to move in. 

You can just barely see past the clear glass door into the cozy space inside. In fact, it looks to be only a little larger than the ramen shop you’re in now. 

“It’s got an apartment upstairs,” he says, a little quieter now. “I was thinking we could tour it once you get out there. I’ve already put in an application.” 

You bite back a giddy smile, the prospect of living with him becoming more real as he talks to you about it. There are several things you’re grateful for since you started seeing him, though perhaps one of your favorites is his continued openness with his wants and feelings. Even this small conversation makes you feel loved in a way that you have trouble describing. It’s so full that you have trouble swallowing it. 

“‘Course, you’ll stay with me in my old apartment till it’s all squared away,” he smiles a little. “I’ve got enough room, though it might be a little tight.” 

“I hope so,” you laugh a little, rolling your eyes. “I’m really relieved.” 

“Relieved? Why?” He gives you a small laugh. “You like being that close to me?” 

You shrug a little, rolling your eyes at his gentle tease. “I was worried you’d get out there and realize everything was wrong… or something.” 

“Weird of you, but okay,” he laughs a little, playing with your hand on the table. 

“Though you’d really be fine anywhere,” you laugh a little. “I think you’re just that kind of person, Satori.” 

“Only if you’re in my corner,” he says, giving you a sly grin. You shove his arm at the cheesy remark. Despite dating for a little over a year now, things like that catch you off guard. After all, in hindsight, being with him like this was the next natural step, you’d just been too stubborn to see it. 

It’s been a long while since the two of you have spoken in person and you soak him up like sunshine. He seeps into your skin through proximity alone. The distance made you nervous at first. Though you’ve gotten over the initial lie that separated and then brought you together, for some reason there was still some part of you that felt that when Satori left for Paris, he was leaving forever. You know now that that feeling was just your affection for him, but it doesn’t make the relief any less sweet. 

You can recall the teary-eyed confession he made like it was yesterday. The image of him with his hands at his side, asking if you loved him is burned into your brain. If you could go back, you don’t think you would change a thing. Your only regret was not being able to formulate those vague feelings which became so overpowering earlier. If you’d known earlier, you’d have been able to have loved him longer. You’d have been able to consciously love him the way you do now, the way you think you always have. Loving Satori comes easily, like breathing, up until that summer you’d just been too young and dumb to see it, your head underwater. It’s only been a little over a year, but hindsight is 20/20. 

When silence falls over the two of you, you lean close and let him scroll through the pictures from his time in France. You’re so deeply content. You’re so prepared to move to be near him, so ready to take that next leap and follow where he goes. It’s a secure feeling, one that grounds you in the moment. 

The chef places two bowls in front of you and Satori perks up, sliding his phone away and moving to crack garlic into his soup. He hands you the chili oil, remembering how you like yours and you smile warmly when his eyes meet yours. If you could, you’d kiss him right now just for remembering. The smell of ramen wafts up in thick clouds of steam, hitting your face with warm and heavy moisture as you lean over it and inhale. 

“It’s none of my business but,” the chef says, clearing his throat a little, “you both have been coming here for a long time and I think you’ve grown into fine young people. Take care of each other.” 

You’re too emotional to find the words, but the chef looks at you with something of a fond stare. He’s known you both long enough to understand to some degree how long it’s taken to get where you are. You stare with a childlike wonder, unable to say anything to this man who created the space you found so inviting through your adolescence, but Satori finds the words easily.

“It’ll be my privilege,” he smiles, the corners of his mouth turning. 

It’s such a simple statement, but it’s definitive and somewhat serious for Tendou. It implies longevity, the kind that lasts a lifetime. He sounds so certain of himself that you find yourself nodding firmly beside him, heat rushing to your cheeks. 

“Eat up, kids,” the chef smiles, glancing between you both and patting the counter with a smile. 

Tendou thanks him and you stare at the noodles in your bowl, feeling oddly introspective. What you’re feeling now is not quite elation, nor is it indifference. The best you could describe it is as a hopeful nostalgia. Beside you, Tendou begins to slurp at his noodles and when you glance sideways at him, he meets you in the middle. You can’t help but mirror him when he smiles around his chopsticks. 

You eat your ramen through idle conversation. Tendou talks about his future shop and you talk about the job you’ve managed to secure overseas with your previous experience from the company you’ve worked at the past year. You both have stable jobs now and it’s strange to talk about your future together as if it has already arrived. 

Suddenly, you are in your third year again, discussing futures that have long passed after an evening practice. Satori is in his volleyball sweater, concealing a sweat-drenched uniform, and you are wearing your skirt with sweatpants underneath it. That’s what this feels like. You’re no longer in the in-between. There is no precarious balance between past and present. There is only future. There’s only the future that you’re living in and the one you’ve both begun to make with each other. The in-between, that space between adulthood and adolescence where present and future find their middle ground, is finally beyond you. Though you can sit here and glance behind to recall all of those little choices, you’re here now, already arrived at the place where all of it has always led you. 

Two people, two collections of memories, each winding and twisting in their own individual ways. They’re what makes you both, the decisions that have brought you to this inevitable finish and this endless beginning. You remember the choice to say yes and it is with a nostalgic fondness that you realize, in all of your future glory, that there are more choices to come.

In this little ramen shop where your past meets your future, you and Tendou Satori, the boy you’ve known since 13, in the after. 

[reareaotaku]

Please Love Me

Summary: You don't drink, because you know you always make stupid choices and that's what you did tonight Word Count: 3,449 Pairings: Yandere! Tom Hanson x Reader TW: Cock Warming, Dry Humping, Tease Tom, Thigh Riding [Male Receiving], Orgasm Denial, Slight Angst, Blowjobs/Handjobs, Creampie, Drunk Reader, Friends w/ Benefits [I know I have a 21 Jumpstreet account, [@21jumpstreet-x-reader] but it's not very popular :( which is sad, because I love the show]

At first, you declined the drinks, but there was nothing worse than being the only sober person with a bunch of drunk people. One drink turned into two and two turned into five. You didn't know when it hit, but after taking a shot, your mind started to gush.

The room was spinning and you couldn't make out faces. You could hear people talking to you, but you weren't listening to them. In fact, your mind was else where. You were thinking about visiting someone.

You knew you shouldn't, you were co-workers, but you knew you wouldn't be able to make it home. Not in the condition you were in. He was close, you had been to his apartment before. In those fleeting moments where you both were more than co-workers. You didn't want anything committed, in fear of it getting inbetween your job, but it was hard to keep away.

He made it hard to leave or stay away, because everytime he touched you, your skin burned. You loved the way he felt against you and his breath down you neck. He must have liked the arrangement too, because he suggested you both be friends with benefits. When the bedroom door closed, you could have fun, but when they open, you're just co-workers again. On paper it was nice, until he decided that he didn't actually like it and gave you an ultimatum.

'If you want to keep messing around, I want to date you. I really like you, Y/n and I want our relationship to be something outside of sex.'

You shivered when his words came back to you. You liked Tom, but you didn't want to put yourself out there for a pretty boy. You didn't know if he was home or if he was still at the office, but it was worth a shot. The voice telling you this was a bad idea was getting lighter and lighter, until you could no longer hear it.

You lightly knocked on his door, a part of hoping you he wouldn't answer. You knew if he didn't you would just go home. There was silence and you turned to leave, but the door opened.

"Y/n."

You froze, your mind not agreeing with your body.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine-" You quickly swished around to see him.

He was hanging outside of his door, looking at you concerned. You looked down at your hands, your eyes dropping and your body slouches. He quickly caught you before you fell and brought you into his apartment. He lays you on the couch, before laying a hand on your forehead. His frown deepened, before you push your way to sit up.

"I'm fine." You grab his hand, pulling him in, "You're so pretty-"

He chuckles and you frown, letting go of him.

"I should go home. I shouldn't be here," You tried to get up, but he pushes you down. You glare up on him, "What the hell-"

"Oh, don't be like that, Y/n." He scoots your body back, so he can sit on the edge. "Are you thirsty?"

You giggle, grabbing his arm and pulling yourself up, leaning your chin on his shoulder, "Extremely~."

"What do you want to drink?" He was either a really good actor or he was clueless on your intentions. He was probably just ignoring your advances in fear of falling into your seductive nature and regretting it tomorrow.

"You," You walk your pointer and middle finger across his chest.

"Oh, yeah?" He decides to humor you a little. "Maybe if you're good, you can get some."

You pull yourself onto your knees, leaning on him, "I can be good."

He smirks, pushing some hair out of your face, "Oh, can you?"

"Mhmm," You hum, closing your eyes, before yawning.

"Tired, yeah?"

"No, I can go-" You look towards the door, your mind trying to convince you to leave so you don't not only embarrass yourself further, but also so you don't do something you'll regret.

"No." He grabs your wrist, pulling your chin to look him in the eyes, "Stay. Here, lay down. I'll be right back."

He forces you down and you decide to take the time to look around his living room. It wasn't anything special; It was definitely a room of a bachelor male. It was rather plain and boring when you thought about it.

He hadn't changed it since the last time you had been here. You looked over at the coffee table, your mind going to when he had you pounded up against it as he pounded into you. You remember the sound of his balls smacking against you and the sound of your cum mixing and swishing. You blushed a dark red, trying to rid yourself of those thoughts.

You feel your eyes slowly start to close, before a bottle is thrown at you.

"Catch."

You glare at Tom, as he sheepishly smiles, realizing he said it to soon. He sits at the edge by your feet, looking up at you.

"So."

"So." You look away from him, trying not to let the slutty thoughts consume your mind. You wanted him to do dirty things to you, but you knew he wanted more than that. More than sex. You guessed you should be greatful that he wanted you for more than sex. Grateful that he has fucked you all around his apartment and he wants to be in a relationship with you, but you were scared of being vulnerable.

"I'm sorry."

He looked over at you confused. You were worried that maybe your words were to slurred and he didn't understand you, but he did hear you.

"You're sorry? For what?"

"For leaving... You know- When you said it's either me or you have to leave." You push yourself up in a sitting position, avoiding eye contact with him. "I guess I'm scared."

"Scared? Of what? Me?"

You sigh, "No! Well," You bite your lip, "No... I'm not scared of you persay... I'm scared.... you'll you know." You finally looked at him and he was looking at you, expecting you to finish your statement. You groaned, rubbing your forehead. You tense up and look away from him again, "of being..... uh, vulnerable?"

You hear him chuckle and you blush out of embarrassment and glare at him.

"What's so funny?"

"I mean... Well, I'm vulnerable with you and yet you ignore me at work, go out of your way to avoid me-"

"Okay. I get it, I'm a terrible person."

"I'm not saying that." He pulls in closer to you, "But- I love you, Y/n and nothing you do will ever destroy these feelings. Even if you are a bitch to me."

You make eye contact with him. He's so close and that's when it happens. He kisses you. Well, you wouldn't really call it a kiss, but your lips were touching. When he finally pulled away, there was saliva connecting your mouths together. He was quick to kiss you again, his tongue invading your mouth. Your hands went to the back of his hair, tangling into his hair.

He could kiss you forever. He loved you more than anything and god he wished you shared those feelings. He enjoyed when you both went undercover together, especially if you posing as a couple. Though, when you went undercover, but not 'together' he'd get so angry when seeing guys hit on you.

You were to pretty for guys like that. Also, they were just immature high school boys who could never please you like he does. He wanted to bash their heads in with a brick; Thankfully, he was always able to shake those thoughts off before they got too loud. He just wanted you so bad and sometimes he was willing to do anything to have you.

You were his air and he needed you to breath. But, even went those thoughts, he needed to back off so you could breath. You leaned back, your stomach twirling and your legs squeezing tighter. Your breathing was heavy, but Tom was ready to go again, so he shoved his head into your neck and started to kiss your neck to your shoulders.

You groaned, tightening your fingers into his hair. You push him in forward, as he groans in your ear. You pull up your leg, your thigh dragging on his crotch and you can feel him harden.

"God, you're already hard? Were you hard before or after I showed up?" You tease, brushing his hair with your fingers. God, it was so soft and pretty.

You hear him laugh, but he doesn't answer you. Instead, he continues to push his crotch into your thigh and he slowly rocks back and forth. You smirk to yourself, before deciding to help him out; You move your leg up and down, causing him to loudly moan. It made you excited that such a pretty boy was so turned on by you. It was empowering.

You felt him speed up his thrusting and you knew he was about to cum and you pulled your leg back. He quickly glares up at you, a heavy frown overtaking his face.

"What the hell, Y/n."

"What? You thought you could get off before me? That's not fair."

"Oh, you want to get off? I'll get you off." He quickly picks you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. He opens a door, before slamming your back against the door, slamming it shut; His lips are quick to connect with yours. The kiss is sloppy and messy, feeling rushed, like he's kissing you for the last time.

You're thrown onto his bed, bouncing back a little. You hear some clothes russle and you can only assume he's stripping. You freeze for a second, realizing that you were really about to have sex with him, again. Just a few weeks ago, he was telling you he wasn't having sex with you if you didn't want to commit.

"Are you going to strip or do you want me to help you?"

You roll your eyes, but slowly unbuttoning your blouse, before throwing it across the room. You turn around, arching your back, "Can you get my bra, Thomas?"

You feel the bed dip, before feeling his fingers lightly graze your back and then a click. He then snakes his arms around your back, squeezing your now free tits and leaning his chin on your shoulder. You bite your lip as he squeezes and gropes your breast. One of his hands plays with your nipple, pinching and flicking it.

You lean into his chest, moaning, your hands gripping into his shoulders. You hear him chuckle as your nails dig into his skin and you just wanted him to fuck you already. Although, he seemed intent on teasing you.

"Tom- Please," You lightly beg, pushing your ass against his crotch.

"What baby? What do you want?"

You groaned, not knowing how to tell him what you wanted. You knew he would tease you if you asked him to fuck you.

"Well, if you don't want to tell me what you want, why don't you put that mouth to use and suck me off?"

Your brought down to his knees, his cock smacking against your cheek. You looked up at him, his hair messy and all over, some of the strands covering his face. God, if he wasn't so hot, you wouldn't be on your knees for him.

His dick was nice, thick and lean. It curved at the tip, which was once a nice pink, but now was a painful red. He had some light blue veins running up his cock, but they were probably showing because he was painfully hard. He had a nice brown, almost black, bush covering his balls that was groomed enough where you could still see said balls.

You pushed your hand up and down his cock, before lightly licking his tip. His slit was already leaking precum and you dragged your finger across it before sticking your finger in your mouth. You look up at him, as you suck on it, before popping it out of your mouth.

"Oh, come on. I know you can do more than that."

You smirk, thrusting your hand up and down his shaft, before finally stick his cock in your mouth. You lightly bobbed your head up and down, slurping up the precum that leaked out through his tip. You swirled your tongue around his cock, dragging it up and down, before popping his cock down your throat.

Your hand continued to work on the base of his cock, moving quickly. He was loudly groaning as you stuck his dick back inside your mouth. Your hands went to his balls, playing and feeling them up. You lightly massaged them, which caused Tom's eyes to roll back. God, moments like this enabled his delusions of dating you. You were to good and there was no way he was going to let another man have you.

He was a pretty man and you had told him that multiple times. Why, woman had been at his feet for as long as he can remember. He always fought with his exs, but he would never fight with you. He might get mad at you, but then he'd remember how good the sex is and he would get over it. Don't get him wrong, he loves you for multiple other things, [Ex. personality, your passion, etc] but god the sex was definitely a plus.

He's brought back to reality when he hears the slurping of you sucking his cock like a lollipop. His groans turn into moans as his hands grip the back of your head and he thrusts deeply inside of you, hitting the back of your throat. You were quick to grab his thighs, hoping to control the speed, but Tom was to far gone.

He quickly thrusted, before his legs began to spasm and he pulled out his cock, cumming all over your face and into your throat. His cum covered your face and when you touched your face, it stretched out. God, you felt so sticky and gross. Saliva dripped down your chin, mixing with his pasty, translucent cum. Some of the cum leaked out of your mouth, dripping down your chin and Tom couldn't imagine anything hotter. It really instilled in his mind that you were his and no other man could take you like this. They could try over his dead body, but they would never be him.

You swallowed what you could, still trying not to choke on the massive load. You look up at him, glaring, upset that he had gotten off before you, especially when you denied him before. Though, if there was one thing about Tom, is that he always got what he wanted. Maybe that's why you were with him now.

Tom helped you up, before pushing you on the bed. You groaned as he crawled on top of you.

"God, Tom, you're already hard again?" You taunt, not expecting him to respond.

"With your body it's hard not to."

You blush at his words, quickly looking away from him, but he grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"Aww, don't be embarrassed. Well, actually, you look really pretty when you're blushing, but I might be bias." He kisses your cheek, before reaching down to his cock and grabbing it, before slowly grazing your entrance.

He grabbed your thighs, pushing them up, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist, as he goes down to your ass. He slowly pushes his tip inside of your pussy, painfully slow.

"Oh, don't tease me Tom, please-"

Did you know you made him crazy? Did you know that you made him want to do bad things to you. God, you filled his mind like a drug and he couldn't stop himself and he couldn't let you down.

He thrusted into you deeply, causing you to moan, surprised. His nails dig into your ass as he slowly thrusts inside you, creating a nice rhythm. His room filled with the echos of his heavy balls smacking your ass. He looked down, which he shouldn't have done, nearly cumming right then when seeing his dick imprint filling your stomach. Not to mention when he pulled out, a thin ring of cum covered his base.

Your stomach twisted and turned as he quickened his pace, causing the bed the shake and hit the wall. You could hear the squeak of the wall, barely covering up your moans.

"Uh, yeah, yeah- Uh!"

"Oh, Y/n~ Y/n~ Ugh. Mmm, mmm, ugh."

"Fuck- Oh, fuck yeah! Ahh! Yes Yes YES!"

The twist inside of you finally popped. He could feel your gummy walls squeezing him, before finally feeling your walls gushing as you cum all over his dick. He begins to quickly thrust inside of you, chasing his high, as it slowly becomes sloppy, until he finally cums inside of you.

When you felt him cum inside, your eyes widened when realizing you hadn't asked him to not cum inside or to even put on a condom. You groaned, mad that you let your lust cloud your judgement. It was fine, you'd just get some plan B tomorrow.

Tom watches as his cum, along with yours, leaks out of you. He could feel himself slowly harden again inside of your warm pussy, but when he saw your tired face, he knew that he wasn't about to get a round two. So instead, he pulls you in close, big spooning you, while still keep his cock inside of you.

You groaned, feeling him harden, but then his dick softens inside of you. You had been scared for a few seconds that he was going to go again, but when he pulls you into a cuddle, your fear quickly diminished. You leaned into him, accepting his affectionate, even though you knew you'd regret not leaving tomorrow.

---

You awoke with a banging headache. You didn't remember what had happened last night, but you were sure it wasn't good. You turned your head, your eyes going wide when seeing a familiar face. He looked surreal in his sleep and you wanted to reach out to touch him, but you were scared you were going to wake him. You slowly got out of the bed, only to be startled when seeing yourself naked.

You rushed to pick up your clothes, trying not to wake him. It must have been your unlucky day, because he was staring at you, confused when you had your back turned.

"Where are you going?"

You practically froze, hoping that maybe he would go back to sleep or he'd pretend he doesn't see you.

"You know I can see you, right?"

God, could he read your mind? You put on a smile, before turning towards him. "I'm hungry."

He hums, pulling off the blankets, before stretching out his back. There's a few cracks and he pushes himself out of his bed. He scratches the back of his neck and looked over at you with hooded eyes.

It was weird to you that he was butt ass naked, yet he was acting like he was fully clothed. It almost made you think he was narcissistic or maybe egotistical.

"Yeah... I'll make something. What do you want?"

"It's fine-"

"No. Don't leave." He goes towards his dresser, grabbing some clothes and you watch him, feeling strange, "I can't believe you were going to leave before I woke up. Not even a 'Fuck You'."

You feel a sting of guilt at the pain in his voice. "I just wanted to get something to eat."

"Sure... If you say so. Like I said, I'll make something."

You go to the bed, sitting at the edge, "Okay. I'll wait here."

You were lying. You were going to leave, but you weren't about to admit it. And the way he looked back at you, his eyes a little sadden at waking up to you trying to leave broke your heart.

"You won't leave?"

"Not until you kick me out."

[macravishedbymactavish]

First "I love you" (TF141 x GN!Reader Headcanons)

Since I literally can't focus on writing the series I have started, have some headcanons instead

TW: Swearing, typical COD violence and themes (mild spoilers in Price's bit), some clichè themes

Blog HQ

Ghost

Saying I love you...

You told him the first time he returned to your shared home following deployment

Sure the two of you had been together for a fair while before this, but its the first time you were alone in your shared space. It was the first time you really felt how empty home was without him.

You didn't want to distract him prior to leaving for the mission, so you whispered those 3 little words to him mid-kiss when he was home with you.

Heart full, and the breath you didn't realize you were holding all this time released. He was back in your arms. Your home was back with you.

Hearing I love you...

As with the other headcanons I write, I'm a firm believer that Simon isn't as emotionally unavailable or closed off due to past trauma as much as so much time in solitude. The last meaningful connection he had ended not the greatest, so he wasn't keen on seeking this out. It's been a while, our man is pretty uneducated in the modern romance department.

With his "lack of experience due to time alone" he is honestly a bit overwhelmed and terrified of this. He loves you, all of his heart. He loves you with the same amount of his heart as he loved them.

Sure, it's a different love altogether (familial vs romantic), but the feelings are overwhelming no less.

He clearly doesn't say it back right away (even though God he wants to). He wants to make sure he means it and portrays just how much he means it before diving right in. He wants it to be as close to perfect for you as possible.

Surprisingly, the perfect moment comes when you're falling asleep one night. You're snuggled into his chest, warm, content. Mumble a soft I love you, Simon.

His response comes naturally, a soft I love you too whispered into the darkness. Then everything just seemed to fall into place.

That night was the best sleep either of you ever had.

Gaz

Saying I love you...

I feel like with Kyle it would happen at the exact same time. Like....literally the same time. So imma just:

Saying I love you/Hearing I love you...

It would definitely come when the two of you are most comfortable around one another. Probably during a lazy night at home.

Cooking together perhaps? Little bit of teamwork, mixed with teasing comments and stolen kisses as you manuever around one another.

Or maybe playing video games (cozy couch co-op or fiercely competitive. No inbetween. Take your pick).

Flip side of the coin: you're getting wound down from a night out. Stripping out of the stupid fancy clothes you decided were a good idea to wear out. Spoiler: it wasn't a good idea. Next time let's do something more casual.

No matter what the situation is, you're doing it together and your hearts couldn't be fuller. Happily in the apartment you two share, just enjoying one another.

"I could live like this forever without complaint" you'd start, smiling over at him (even if he beat your ass at whatever game you were playing with no mercy)

"Didn't know I was dating an immortal" he'd tease back. "Share your secrets with me"

"No!"

"Why not????"

"I simply cannot share my secrets with a doof like you"

Your play argument ending in him trying to tickle you, or play wrestle you, or just anything that results in the two of you (INNOCENTLY) tangled up together. Like super clichè looking into the others eyes as you lay/sit there. Lost in the moment and realizing it's no longer "I like like you" but rather:

"I love you"

Said, by the two of you, at the exact same time.

Queue laughter, shared kisses and full hearts.

Soap

Saying I love you...

My mind automatically went to lost on a road trip trope. Like you two would plan out an entire day, wanting to visit the spot you two would hang out at all the time pre-relationship.

Except you're both too distracted by conversation and jamming to whatever playlist you had in the background to realize: your turn is well into the rear view.

By the time he realizes he's now driving on roads he doesn't recognize, it's too late. You're pretty far out of the way, and the clouds in the sky don't look super promising.

"T'hell with it! We have our lunch here" he'd propose, finding a small hill in the distance. "Our new spot™️"

So that'd exactly what you do. An improvised little lunch, in your new trademarked spot.

It was after lunch, when you both were full and ready for a food coma. You don't know what overtook you to say it. You didn't even realize you were saying it until his eyes dialted and a small smirk crossed his lips.

"You love me, aye?"

Hearing I love you...

He would have no hesitation saying it back, except for you playfully smacking him while yelling his name.

He'd be so in shock that someone as lovely as you would feel that way toward someone like him.

You!! Loving him!!

The next time he'd try to say it back, it would be interrupted by thunder in the distance, and the urgency to start packing up your things and getting home before too long.

It was when you make the journey from the vehicle to the house through the pouring rain when he decided now was the time. Watching you laugh, try and fail to keep yourself dry that it came out.

"I love you too"

"That's nice. But it's raining fucking hard so can we go inside and be cute after?"

You two were 100% cute inside after that. Lots of "I love yous" shared back and forth that night.

Price

Saying I love you...

Hear me out though, what if it were you captured with Kate (in that one mission, the one that solidified that Gaz shouldn't be in aircrafts anymore).

No matter how you feel in that moment (terrified, oddly calm, pissed to high hell) one thought would be in the front of your mind:

You've never said I love you.

Sure, you've told him the various things that you love about him. But never told him straight out that you love him in his entirety.

So as you sit, guns pointed at you. Ready to cause harm and death if needed. You find yourself reflecting on your relationship.

The ups, the downs, the victories and hardships. The way that you used to find his overbearing nature to be insufferable at times...you're now viewing it in a new light.

Maybe that's just because you're standing on death's doorstep wondering if he's going to answer today.

The crash, the chaos. You truly wonder if it's the end. Until you're pulled away from eternities grasp and brought back to reality. Face to face with your boyfriend who is clearly fighting back his own emotions. Still convincing himself that you're alive.

"I love you, John" comes out so naturally as you launch yourself at him. Ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of his gear pressing into you. He was here, he had you.

Hearing I love you...

John would 110% be beside himself. Trying to figure out how he let this happen, concerned that he won't get to you in time, letting his mind run wild with worse case scenarios.

Whether you work in the military or not -- you were never supposed to be in this type of situation.

Getting the call that you were MIA and now a POW caused his heart to stop. To grow a shade colder as he reminded himself he needs to breathe.

Won't do you a whole lot of good if he's passed out.

While he wants to call the shots and lead the charge to get you back safe, he does step back and let his teammates take point. Considering it's a glaring conflict of interest for him to be there, captain or not.

The entire time they're fighting to get to you, all he can think of is how this is inadvertently his fault. Running through everything to figure out where he went wrong. Where did he slack off? What could he have done differently?

He also vowed in this moment to keep you safe for the rest of your lives. Even if you hated him, if you never wanted to see him again because of this. He would never, ever anything like this happen to you again.

When they finally reach the front of the convoy, he's ready to pass out or punch someone out if they don't move out of his way. Much like a mama bear and her cub, you don't get between John and his love in this moment.

His team makes quick work of the enemies, as he approaches one of the doors. Heart hammering inside his chest, hands shaking slightly as tears burn the back of his eyes. Pleading to anyone listening that you be alive.

When you barreled into him and whispered those words to him he could've fallen over. His legs almost not supporting him. You were alive, you love him. You were alive. You love him. He repeated this over in his head as he held you close.

Whispering the words back, cursing himself for how his voice broke halfway through.

You were alive. You love him.

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @v1naco @bowtruckleninja

[taste-of-the-divine]

ꕤ | Cumposure | Konig

— CODMW2 : masturbating!konig x femtease!reader

✩ 𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙉𝙀: ​you tease konig a little too much, and he has to go take care of himself.

✩ 𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙏 𝙄𝙉𝙁𝙊: 1k words ✩ 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙉𝙏 𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂: objectification (of reader by konig only), slight konig bullying, mention of breeding kink, konig masturbation

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀𝙎 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝘿𝙄𝙑𝙄𝙉𝙀: the world needs more konig masturbation fics fr. share some w/ me if u have some :')

♡ REBLOGS + LIKES ARE APPRECIATED ♡ 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛 & 𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘖𝘙𝘒𝘚 | 𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘈𝘎𝘌

he felt so dirty for thinking about you that way– you were the new recruit, barely a month on the job, and yet he couldn’t help himself. somewhere between the hem of your shirt and the edge of your belt is where his eyes lingered when you did your training. You were too focused, the rest of the room around you forgotten as you practiced– and Konig too distracted, staring at the toned midsection of yours that revealed itself when you moved a certain way, trying to pry his eyes away from the curve of your ass when you forced your way into a position that he’d do anything to be pinned under.

konig was always nervous, but nowadays, he’s visible more so around you, specifically. no one raised an eyebrow when you first met— his stuttering while you were calm and collected considered normal. but now others, like soap, can’t help but crack a joke or two, flung your way and his, sometimes in conjunction. like gradeschool, almost– everyone knew he had some sort of a crush on you, even you did. but it was work, and work was professional, and you’d barely spoken enough words to konig to feel the same. he kept his distance, anyway, admiring from afar being the most daring thing he did, because talking to you required more courage than he could have in a lifetime.

sometimes you’d tease him though, because for a man of his looming stature, it was undeniable how satisfying it was to see him blush and his mind go blank by a mere change of clothes, or a touch of the arm. taking off your t-shirt to reveal a skin-tight tank underneath drove him wild– you noticed that he would purposefully take apart his pistols to put back together whenever you did this, attempting to offer his brain a distraction instead of staring. and on those very rare occassions, you’d be daring enough to make his life a living hell– sitting on his lap inbetween training at the cafeteria when there wasn’t enough seats to sit with those you were actually friends with —price and soap.

konig, an embarrassed, blushing mess, would excuse himself after only a few minutes of enduring your teasing, leaving you and the others to giggle at his reaction as he fled to the barracks, and to his corner of the room. no one typically was in the barracks during meal time– so he had enough privacy to compose himself. 

and composing meant taking care of the problem that you had decided to invent in his pants, under those boxes, big and throbbing.

a zip followed the sounds of jangling belt buckles, his tactical pants falling to only his mid thigh in case someone entered. he was needy, and before he could even get himself out of his boxers, he had to grip himself over the grey cloth to satiate the tension in his cock. it then met the cool air, his own callused hand from training wrapped around it, jerking quickly from the start. 

it wasn’t wet enough, not that he wasn’t leaking any precum– but he was just so big, so it didn’t matter how much precum he leaked, he always needed to dribble some spit into his hands to get the slippery friction he craved. his entire body jerked suddenly when his wet palm dragged over the sensitive tip, his eyes rolling as he threw his head back against the wall. 

if you exclude the fact that he was humping his cock into his hands, konig was fully clothed, masked and all. he sat on the ground, one leg relaxed and laid straight, the other bent and doing most of the work pumping up into his fingers that he so desperately wished was you instead. his mind replayed everytime he’s seen you bent over, everytime he’s seen a sliver of side boob or the faint poke of your nipples when you were wearing less due to the heat, everytime you deliberately sat your ass on his cock and all that was stopping him from putting it inside was his dignity and some camo fabric. 

his panting got heavier, more desperate, more sensitive, because he was teasing himself now, fucking just the tip into a tight fist with his hips. thank god he had a mask on– it nulled the possibility of anyone seeing him mindnumb with his drool dripping down his chin and his lips parted in heavy breathing as he pathetically jerked off to you. at most, they’d just see his eyes crossing when he jerked himself just right, or when his horny fuck-for-brains gave him a thought that was too satisfying.

he hated that you didn’t even need to be naked in the slightest to get him like this, head filled with nothing but thoughts of cumming inside you in front of everyone else at the cafeteria table. he thought about how tight you’d feel, pussy stretched right over his cock, balls pressed up against the inner of your thigh. what really made him tip over the edge, though, was the wish that you’d beg him to breed you, pump you full–sink his big cock inside and burst, and then keep it there until he finished. every last drop.

so when he cums, it’s a few groans that comes first, followed by ceaseless whimpering as he continued to grip his cock. he wanted to milk his orgasm for as long as he could, it felt so fucking good, and for the entire climax he basically couldn’t see with how crossed his eyes were and how blurry his vision became. his mind went numb with pleasure, beads and beads of semen dribbling nonstop out of the tip for longer than he could hold his breath. 

and like that, it was over. sometimes he could go twice, but it’s too risky– someone was due to walk in any second. but he laid there, anyway, still and with his hand loosely holding his cock, catching his breath for only a minute. and then, he’d rejoin you and the others for the second half of the day’s training, composed and a little less anxious.

© copyright @taste-of-the-divine 2023 ♡ REBLOGS + LIKES ARE APPRECIATED ♡ 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛 & 𝘖𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘖𝘙𝘒𝘚 | 𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘈𝘎𝘌

[casually-salad]

The time is ticking, for the both of them.

bonus content below :3

this is the layout of the room zecora is staying in!!!! inside of celestias castle there is a wing with some rooms for diplomats from other parts of the world to stay in, most notably cadence has a bedroom in the castle in that part of the wing. this was a sketch i did of her room to decide how i wanted to lay out the one celestia is in.

now for zecoras gear, its based off this cuuute dark red hazmat suit i had found that i cant find the image of again but i saved the one i based the rest off of, dosent it look kinda dumb? i love it

ANYWAY so with her experiments i planned on drawing a total of THREE????? pannels gruesomely describing it. but i decided it was showing too much and cut it, although i dont have those sketches anymore :/ it was one long poem basically and i think i was just having too much fun rhyming her speech. and SPEAKING of speech, i do try to give every pony a bit of differentiating speech patterns but these two (( three for discord )) so i had a lot of fun writing them. for luna i had to really simplify her speech because she would be talking like this "inlēten ich gī" and that might be more annoying to read than not. i decided to include fluttershy and discords sheets here because. you already know theyre there theres no point in waiting. and yeaaaaaah i changed fluttershy, the colors on my computer screen were so off id be coloring in neons when i thought it was pastels thats why the text was so hard to read for a while. i plan on shifting it around a bit more.

Fluttershy's infection is not able to spread because her cutie marks were removed, frozen in time so that they cannot progress. They eat away at the magic in a corner of the dimension where they can't damage anything or get any worse.

now as for something ive been asked to clarify about before! Lunas dreaming powers! how is she killing the ponies? as how is it works, she has a physical form and a dream form she can switch inbetween unlike most ponies who can only be in their dream form while dreaming, and awake form while awake. because she is in charge of keeping every pony from having nightmares - usually a ponys dream form never ends up dying, and if theres an accident luna can bring them back. but what happens to their physical bodies? usually they wont be able to dream anymore because they dont have a dream body, but if their dream form is purposefully killed.. both die. So as luna passes from dream to dream shes leaving behind a pile of corpses in the dream and waking world

also! because you read this far im doing an AMA, lemme know youre questions, theories, and what you wanna see!! you can send asks or reply to this post - if you send me an ask tho ill probably do a little doodle. ok thank you byebye

[thegettingbyp2]

Hi, can I request a late 70s Elvis (or big daddy elvis) in which he and female reader are in Vegas and they have a passionate night of mirror sex with the mirror in the ceiling. I was thinking about those stories of him and his suite full of mirrors, specially on the ceiling. Detailed smut if you want. Thanks

Reflection

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You and Elvis had decided to stay for a couple more nights after he finished his residency in Vegas; your way of having a second honeymoon as Elvis put it. In order to keep under the radar, you’d checked out of the International hotel and booked into another one and as you walked through the door into your new room, you could see why Elvis was so excited about it.

Looking around the room, it didn’t look much different from any of the other hotel rooms you’d stay in. It was only when you looked up at the ceiling and saw your own reflection in the mirror that you understood why your husband had been so eager to stay in this room in particular.

‘I wondered why you wanted this room in particular,’ you said with a smirk on your lips.

Elvis wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and spun you around you face him, grinning cheekily at you. ‘I only wanted the best for our second honeymoon,’ he said, leaning in to peck your lips gently.

‘And the best thing is, no one knows you’re here,’ you replied, savouring the rare time the two of you were able to go undetected.

‘Not for long,’ he replied lowly.

‘What do you mean?’

---

‘Elvis!’ you cried out, your fingers tangled in his hair as you lay flat on your back, your head tipped back into the pillows and your eyes squeezed tightly closed. Elvis was laying inbetween your thighs, his tongue dancing on your clit.

‘Open your eyes, baby,’ he mumbled against your pussy before his lips wrapped around your clit and began to suck gently, making your thighs twitch around his head.

You opened your eyes and found yourself staring right back at your reflection in the mirror on the ceiling. You saw how your chest was flushed and how your hips tried to move against Elvis, failing when he threw an arm across your hips to keep you pinned to the bed. It was only from the reflection that you could see Elvis’ hips moving slightly against the bed; a sight that had you crying out as you fell over the edge, Elvis’ lips not stopping until your fingers swapped from tugging on his hair to pushing his head away due to oversensitivity.

Pressing one more gentle kiss to your clit, Elvis kissed his way back up your body before reconnecting your lips. You couldn’t help the shiver that ran through your body as you tasted yourself on his tongue, an action that made Elvis smirk against your lips. ‘That was,’ you began, still struggling to catch your breath.

‘I take it you like the mirror now?’ Elvis asked, pulling back slightly to look at you. Instead of replying, you nodded quickly and pulled him back down into another kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck as his slipped underneath you, keeping your chest pressed firmly against his. ‘You liked watching yourself cum on my tongue, sweetheart?’

His words had a whimper falling from your lips, making Elvis let out a low chuckle. The both of you began to grind your hips together as his hand moved down your body to line his cock up at your entrance. ‘Wait!’ you exclaimed, as you felt his tip push into you.

Elvis stopped instantly, pulling out and sitting up slightly. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, reaching out to cup your cheek in his palm. ‘Do you want to stop?’

‘No,’ you were quick to reassure him, turning your head to press a kiss to the palm of his hand before moving out from underneath him and turning around, pushing him gently until he was laying on his back. ‘I just thought you’d like to have a look in the mirror.’

You began to pepper kisses across his face, making him smile that carefree, uninhibited smile of his that you loved so much. Moving from his face, you trailed kisses down his body, nipping at his skin, making sure to leave marks in the places you knew would be hidden by his jumpsuits. However, just before your lips touched his cock, you sat back up, grinning at the way his head was thrown back.

‘Why’d you stop, doll?’ he groaned, opening his eyes to look at you. Instead of replying, you looked him dead in the eye, a cheeky smile on your lips as you reached down to line him up at your entrance before you sank down on him slowly. The feeling of your walls surrounding him had Elvis throwing his head back again and a low growl coming from his chest. Once your hips were flush with each others, you leaned over and tapped a finger lightly on his cheek.

‘Open your eyes, baby,’ you repeated him from earlier and Elvis gave you a lazy grin before slowly opening his eyes and looking at you.

‘You’re so beautiful,’ he murmured, his hand coming up to stroke your cheek.

‘You’re not meant to be looking at me,’ you said, your voice quiet as the mood changed to a more peaceful, sensual atmosphere in the room. When Elvis frowned at you in confusion, you simply reached out and placing two fingers underneath his chin and tilted his head up until he was looking at the mirror. Once you were satisfied that he wasn’t going to look away, you began to move.

Your hips began a slow pace, rising up until just the tip was buried in you before sinking back down again. Every time your hips would meet, Elvis let out a quiet moan. Your hands were resting on his chest, keeping you upright as you rode him and his hands moved to your hips, helping you bounce up and down on him, grinding your clit against his pelvis every time you sank down on him.

‘Elvis,’ you whined brokenly as you felt your legs beginning to grow tired.

‘You look so beautiful like this, baby,’ he said, still looking in the mirror. You tilted your head back to stare into the mirror and were greeted by the sight of your small frame straddling his larger one, both of your skin glistening with sweat and both of you wearing blissed out expressions.

‘I can’t,’ you whimpered as you felt your legs trembling beneath you. You tried to lift yourself back of, only for your legs to give out and to slam yourself back onto his cock, causing both of you to let out loud moans.

‘I’ve got you, baby girl,’ Elvis mumbled, tightening his grip on your hips and planting his feet on the bed to give him leverage to thrust up into you. You let yourself collapse onto his chest, content to let Elvis take control.

Elvis could have came then and there just by looking at the view in the mirror. You were draped across his chest, your entire body trembling with pleasure as his hips thrust into you underneath and your head buried in his neck. One of your hands remained on his chest whilst the other found its way into his hair, your fingers toying with the jet black strands. ‘Close, Elvis,’ you mumbled quietly into his ear and he sped up his pace slightly.

‘Yeah? Me too, baby girl,’ he replied, turning his head to press a kiss to your cheek before thrusting into you three more times, the two of you surrendering to your orgasms simultaneously.

Gently, Elvis pulled out of you, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you balanced on his chest as you sleepily nuzzled into his jaw. ‘I love you,’ you murmured, pressing a barely there kiss to his jawline.

‘I love you too,’ he replied, his heart full and his eyes filling with tears at how much he loved you. ‘Do you need anything?’

Smiling softly, you shook your head, burying your head even further into his neck and closing your eyes, surrounded by the feel and smell of your husband. ‘I just want to sleep.’

Kissing the side of your head, Elvis tightened his arm around you and made sure he was comfortable before letting his own eyes slip shut, grateful for some time alone with the love of his life.

[90s-suplex]

NSFW alphabet Stone Cold Steve Austin

I am tired of pretending that this man isn't hot

nsfw below the cut! Don‘t like, don‘t read :)

Minors don‘t interact!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Will depend on his partner and relationship status! Generally speaking, he isn't one to 'hit it and quit it' - he'll help you clean up and will check up on you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Since Austin works out a lot, he is proud of his physique as a whole, he does not have a favourite body part. However, if he notices there's a specific body part of his that you have a great liking for (i.e. his chest) this will secretly become his favourite body part.

His favourite body parts of his partner are boobs and thighs.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He has a thing for creampies. He loves to cum deep inside you (with your permission of course) and watch his cum drip out of you. Just the thought of it alone will get him going.

Sometimes he will pull out in the last second to finish on your pussy.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

When you weren't looking, he sneakiliy stashed away some pairs of used panties of yours. He stores them in his bag for whenever you can't travel with him for... reasons.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Let's just say he knows what he's doing.. he's been around the block.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary and cowgirl!

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He loves making you laugh, but once you two are fucking he is serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He will trim his hair down there every once in a while when it gets too long for his own liking, but won't shave.

He won't expect his partner to shave downstairs, he's happy with how ever you feel the most comfortable.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Austin isn't one to say 'I love you' easily. Once you're in a committed relationship, those words still won't leave his lips regularly.

But he has lots of 'southern' pet names he loves to use for you :) Sweet cheeks, doll, doll face, hon', sugar ...

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He has a high sex drive, so he when you're spending time apart, he's masturbating one to two times a day.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

This man has a degradation kink (2001 heel run hello??) - if you're into it, he loves to explore this with you. The same applys to impact play.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Being on the road constantly, it's safe to say he's had sex outside his home more often than inside. If you travel with him you'd usually end up doing it in your hotel room bed, since it's the easiest option and you wouldn't always get assigned the most spacious hotel rooms with lots of room to experiment either. (..or you would end up doing it in the car on the way to your hotel, if he can't keep his hands to himself beforehand..)

If you decide to join him to the arena, he wouldn't say no to doing the deed in his locker room. Though he is a private man, so he'd prefer to not get caught in the act.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Austin has a high sex drive, you in his presence alone will get him going ;)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never do something unconsensual.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves giving oral! If it was up to him, he could spend hours inbetween your legs.

Since Austin's knees aren't in the best condition (hence his knee braces) he enjoys to just lie flat on his back and have you sit on his face. He'd find it cute if you're shy about doing so and he'd soon prove to you that you won't hurt his jaw/face and he can more than handle it.

Holding your hips/pinning them down and eating you out invokes something primal in him. He'd be moaning into your pussy and hearing you moan back in response would go straight to his cock (and feed his ego).

He's truly the happiest when he can go down on his partner.

Of course, he won't turn down the opportunity for a blow job ;) BUT he doesn't expect one in return for eating you out.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

When you are not running low on time, he likes to start slow and work up the pace ;)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Yes to quickies! He lives a pretty fast paced live, so sometimes this is all that is managable.

But he prefers to take his sweet time with you >:) he is big on foreplay!!

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

As mentioned before, he is a private man. He isn't too fond of the idea of sex out in public unless it's in the middle of nowhere.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Stone Cold does have quite the stamina. Usually he can go for two rounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Austin doesn't own toys besides maybe some handcuffs. He likes to keep it basic! If his partner owns toys he might try incorporating them, but he will be sceptic at first. He likes to believe he can make you cum on his own without any help juuust fine.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, he is really big on teasing, he never stops. You thought he's only talkative in the ring? No!

He is big on dirty talk and never shuts up during sex - Austin will talk you through it and praise you for how good you're doing for him. During the day, he loves to watch you get flustered when he squeezes your body and tells you all the things he'll be doing to you later in the day once he gets ahold of you.

Sometimes he will truly make you work for his cock and for getting your release...

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Austin is vocal and appreciates it if his partner is as well. He enjoys hearing all the sounds he's able to drive out of you during sex. He pays close attention to what makes you respond and your body ache for more.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Considering all the beers he's drinking when wrestling/after the matches, you two would end up having drunk sex a lot.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is well-endowed. 7 inches when hard and thick/girthy

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very high.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He has trouble falling asleep and is usually sleepdeprived to some extent because of it. Sleeping pills and/or sex will help him getting some rest though.

[comfortless]

okay so. König in love or any thoughts rlly i need to crawl into your brain and live there. ;v; you have made me love him 10x more

i can’t decide on whether or not he would be very passive or very aggressive when in the pursuit of someone (let’s be honest with ourselves: there is no inbetween)!

in situations where you’re perhaps working together, it must kick in some sort of urgency. you’re toying with your gun, missing cues, a bit too flighty… as if it isn’t life or death here. his approach is certainly more aggressive, then: you have to be kept safe and away from all of the horrible filth in the world. a battlefield is no place for a princess, and the thought of you getting hurt or worse before you’re able to have a bunch of cute kids or live out on that vast expanse of land with the cozy cabin he’s promised you is horrifying for him.

you don’t get much of an option here. he isn’t retiring his weapons any time soon, but you must. he’s losing sleep, lashing out at any other operator who comes a hair too close. he’s heard rumors of women who sleep around the barracks and those men ogling you must have those things in mind for you. he wouldn’t allow that. he’s seen men come back from torture and he won’t allow that, either. a proposal is rushed, but it’s sincere. he’ll take you on all the nice dates you didn’t get to share prior when he’s on leave. just stay home, send him letters, call him often, and you’ll get the world and then some.

König is only passive when he’s out of his element. meeting an angel on earth in some rundown shop where he’s unprepared and feeling utterly naked without a knife or a big gun on his person is harrowing. he thinks back on those times from high school: the faked confessions, his first kiss only stolen away out of pity rather than love. he has no fucking idea how to approach a woman that he will likely never see again. so, he just doesn’t.

the beast at the corner of the shop flicking through packages of subpar snacks only offers a few subtle glances your way, silently praying you don’t detect the way he openly stares when your back is turned. he follows at a distance, innocuously pretending he’s also interested in the flour down the baking aisle you’re on. he can bake, sure, would happily spend hours in his lonely kitchen preparing you strudel or something more to your liking if you asked, but what’s the point of doing any of that for himself?

if, for some reason he can’t quite comprehend, you decide to approach him… batting your eyelashes and pointing up at something on the top shelf, requesting his assistance, he might try to shove back the thought that you’re only being kind because you need something. he’ll make small talk while passing you the package of semisweet chocolate chips, huff something akin to a laugh when you make a quip about how quiet this store is when it’s your favorite. the flirtations come naturally for you, saying that you wished he could give you an inch or two (as to not heckle anyone taller for help in the future), and damn his loose tongue because he’s quick to respond then. telling you he could give you nine, actually.

silly relationship thoughts…?

he definitely falls into the realm of men that send you the most cringy “couple goals” videos. you know the ones that are like “five reasons your man is not cheating!” followed by a slideshow of a home cooked meal, a soft looking bed, a photo of a couple holding hands and all giddy smiles, a nice clean home, then… a picture of a woman in some cute lacy lingerie. has the worst grin on his face when your expression sours, but he promises to scour the internet until he finds something lovely and strappy for you to wear for him.

sleepy König is a menace!! he snores. loudly. sometimes talks absolute nonsense. it’s impossible to push him away because he’s so big and it’s all dead weight when he’s knocked out. if you’re trying to wriggle out of bed because the birds are chirping outside and the sunlight is peeking at you through the curtains, his grip around you only tightens. he likes to hold your hand while you’re sleeping, too. even when his get a bit clammy. it’s cute until you desperately long for a shower and he still won’t wake up.

his significant other is the perfect comfort to him. even when things are bad: an argument or an entire ocean between you two. your voice whether infuriated or in love, the smell of your perfume or even your sweat, the feeling of your soft skin or the bite of your teeth, your taste whether from your mouth or skin, the view of you’re messy bedhead or dressed to utter perfection. all of you is a comfort. he isn’t just a lover, he’s a horribly obsessed devotee in every way. logs in some mental list what perfume you wear on what day, how you choose to dress depending on what you’re doing, mundane things like how you wring your hands after washing them or just how you position yourself when standing or sitting. every detail has its importance, and he wants to memorize everything about you for those long nights when he’s deployed and you can’t be there with him.

he knows what a meme is, yes, he isn’t that old, but his sense of humor more aligns with whatever is dark or perverse and historical jokes (those “me if i were in medieval Europe” videos might make him grin). if you’re sent one and it goes over your head, he’s happy to explain to you the time period, what role you and he might play in such a scenario, all in so much detail you wonder if he’s actually some sort of genius. only… he would casually tell you he wouldn’t mind going down on you even if you were some maiden from a time long past that hadn’t bathed in weeks.

probably likes to mark you up a bit when he knows he’ll be away for a while. bite marks on your inner thighs, a necklace of hickies on your neck and along your clavicle. it’s embarrassing, trying to explain why you’re wearing a scarf or a thick choker in the middle of the warmer months. he doesn’t do it out of fear that you’ll run off to another (though, maybe that is part of it), but ultimately so you won’t forget. not about the way he made you feel, about the little whines that left your mouth or the way you gripped at his hair, who you belong to just as much as he belongs to you.

[bengals-ix]

Snooze • part two

Summary: The next day after your late night drive with Tee. Let’s just say the poor kitchen counter saw some things. A spicy part two to "Snooze.”

Warnings: SMUT of course, 18+, but also fluffy be it's Tee, obviously.

It was very hard to write this bc Tee is...sweet baby Tee. And I love and respect that man with my whole heart. But he’s also fine and we must respect that as well. Not saying that this is disrespectful but I shall say it is respectfully raunchy. It took me way too long but here ya go. Enjoy😅

So much for that day off. You spent all day cleaning the house, considering you haven’t had time to do it in almost a week. You did multiple loads of laundry, some of Tee’s clothes included from when he stays over. You went grocery shopping since your fridge and cabinets were borderline BARE. You also take some time for self care; shaving, skincare, showering with exfoliating scrubs and washing your hair with your fancy shampoo and conditioner.

You finally finish everything for the day, feeling better about yourself now that everything is clean, including yourself. Especially since your man was about to come home and lay you out, you hoped he would remember anyway.

You decided to get ready for him, make him remember if he doesn’t already.

You curl your hair a little bit, fluffing it up. Leaving the makeup to a bare minimum and the outfit as well, making it just one of his t-shirts and nothing underneath. Tee is going to be, hopefully, pleasantly surprised, you thought.

You sat on the counter in the kitchen, eating cotton candy grapes when he comes home from a long day of practice and meetings.

“Hey you”

“Hey baby girl” he smiles his perfect smile at you, one that you couldn’t help but smile back. He sets his bag down and makes his way over to you. He was dressed in a black long sleeve Bengals tee and black sweatpants and his fancy purple slippers. He looked so good, as usual. You love this man and his slippers.

He grabs a grape and pops it into his mouth. He was close enough to you for you to wrap your legs around his hips and pull him into you.

“Damn” his eyebrows shoot up towards his hair line as he chews on the grape. “What was that all about?” He asks, gripping onto your hips.

“Missed you is all” you shrug, your face saying you missed him a lot more than your voice led on.

“Yeah?” He smirks, picking up what you’re putting down. He pulls you closer to him, your arms coming up to wrap around his neck.

“I’ve missed you too” he pulls his bottom lip inbetween his teeth, giving your hips a squeeze.

“Stop biting that lip” you warn him and his lip turns up in a smirk once again. Those dark brown eyes boring into yours.

“Make me” He cocks an eyebrow, his lips come dangerously close to yours.

You smash your lips against his, him moaning instantly. You take that opportunity to slip your tongue into his mouth, swirling your tongue around his before bringing his plump bottom lip inbetween your teeth, tugging on it slightly. He moans again, bringing your lips back together, and deepening the kiss even more.

You two make our for a few minutes before he starts to make his way down your body. Starting at your jaw, spending some special time on your neck, making you squirm in his grasp. You wanted more, you wanted him everywhere.

He pulls down the collar of your his shirt and sucks on your collarbone. Your body was on fire. Every place his lips touched, your skin burned. His hand slid under your shirt and held onto your hips, his lips immediately detaching from your skin to look at you.

“No panties huh?” He cocks an eyebrow at you.

“Thought I’d make it easier on you” you wink and he smiles and shakes his hands pulling your hips forward to the edge of the counter and dropping to his knees.

“You know it wasn’t hard for me to begin with, baby” he smirks, kissing on the inside of your thigh before sucking on it. You couldn’t help but whimper. Tee loved your thighs. They were plushy and he loved to grab them with his large hands and especially loved when they were wrapped around his head.

“I know” you breathe out as he lifts your legs and places your feet on his shoulders and lifts your his shirt up to reveal your dripping core.

“You’re so wet for me already” he says looking up at you, nipping the inside of your thigh.

“Before you even walked in” you squirm in anticipation.

“Thinking about me?”

“Always-“ you let out a loud gasp as he dips his tongue inbetween your folds.

He wasted no time tasting you and feeling you with his time. You were already slightly sensitive just thinking about him, being so turned on by your man. And rightfully so. You couldn’t help but let out little whimpers.

“Gonna talk to me baby? Tell me how I make you feel?” He asks, sucking on your clit.

“Oh shit, Tee” you gasp, “Don’t stop”

He switches between sucking your clit and flicking his tongue against it. Your eyes screwed shut, you chest heaving as he reaches up with one of his hands under your (his) shirt and massages your breast.

“Look at me, baby” he pulls away for a moment before continuing his movements.

“I can’t” you whine.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m gonna cum if I do”

“More of a reason to look at me” his deep voice vibrates against your folds.

You look down at Tee licking into you and you feel that rubber band in the lower part of your tummy snap and you let out a pornographic moan, not being able to contain it anymore and releasing all over his face and into his mouth as your legs shake.

Tee sucks and licks you dry, not wanting to waste a single drop of you. Your cheeks flood instantly with a red tint and you hide your face as you try to catch your breath. You’ve NEVER done that. EVER. You were honestly embarrassed.

Tee stands up straight and presses his lips to yours, pulling your hands away from your face. You could taste yourself on him, you couldn’t help but let a soft moan escape from your throat, tasting yourself on him.

“I almost embarrassingly came in my pants just now. Holy shit, that was so fucking hot, (Y/N)” he breathes out against your lips.

“Really?” You ask, muffled as he gently kisses your lips.

“Really” he grabs your face with his hands, deepening the kiss.

It was now his turn. You reach down inbetween your bodies and slip your hand into his sweats and undies, grabbing onto his erection and giving him a tight squeeze.

“Shit” he hisses against your lips.

You push his shorts and undies down as much as you can, beginning to squeeze and give him a slow pull. You pull away to spit in your hand and bring your hand back down to his dick, continuing to stroke him. Picking up your speed, Tee becomes a moaning mess, your name spilling out of his lips inbetween curses.

“Fuck me” he grunts, his forehead coming down to your shoulder. You give him a couple more strokes before you feel him harden even more in your hand.

“Shit baby- I’m gonna-“ he grunts and whimpers your name.

“Kiss me” you tell him. He lifts his head and captures your lips with his, your tongue swirling around his as he moans and releases all over your hand and thighs.

“Okay now that, was hot as fuck Tee” you say, heat flooding down to your core all over again.

“That was kinda embarrassing” he nuzzles his face into your neck, “I tried to hold out” he mumbles.

“That was anything but embarrassing. You just shot my self esteem through the roof and into the stratosphere” you smile, running your fingers over his back.

“It’s what you do to me, baby girl” he presses a kiss to your neck.

He takes one more deep breath before wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the counter, making you squeal, and taking you to your bedroom.

“You didn’t think I was done did you?” He asks laying you down on your bed.

“I know better than that” you wink.

He slips his shirt off, revealing his tattooed arms and torso. Good god. You can’t ever get enough of this view. He presses a sweet kiss to your lips before pulling your shirt up and over your head, throwing it off to the side.

He takes his sweet time enjoying your body, all of what you would call “imperfections” but what he calls “perfect.” You were perfectly sexy. His eyes were full of love and adoration towards you. He loved you something awful.

“What?” You ask, your cheeks starting to turn pink. He slips his pants and undies down and he crawls on top of you, bringing his face down to yours.

“I love you” his lips turning up slightly, his dark eyes boring into yours.

“I love you too, lover”

His smile becomes brighter and he lowers his lips to yours, your lips molding together perfectly. He reaches down and guides his tip between your folds, gathering some of your wetness before pushing into you slowly but not all the way.

“Oh my god” you gasp, your walls clenching around him at the sudden intrusion.

“Shit. You’ve gotta relax a little, baby. Or this is gonna be over a lot quicker than we both want” his forehead rests against yours, trying to concentrate without letting go immediately.

“I can’t help it, Tee, you’re so big” you whine

“Well thank you” he smirks and you shake your head at him.

“Shut up” you giggle and he laughs with you. You two can never stay serious for too long.

He pushes in more and that shuts you both up in an instant. He eventually pushes all the way in, making you feel sol full. The feeling was dizzying.

“You feel so good, (Y/N). Fuck” Tee breathes out. He pulls out most of the way, leaving just his tip in before you reach your hands down, squeezing his plump ass and pushing him back into you.

He continues to thrust in and out of you, working you up more and more. He then grips onto your left leg, lifting it onto his shoulder, allowing him to go even deeper if that was even possible. He started to pick up the pace, your walls fluttering around him, not going to last much longer.

“I’m close, babe” he moans, rolling his hips so that he perfectly hits the soft spot inside of you.

“Me t- oh god” you whimper, that feeling once again building up in your tummy. A couple more thrusts and you were gone, Tee not far behind you, coating your walls.

He rolls off of you and grabs onto your hand next to him as you both try to catch your breath.

“I’m very lucky, huh?” Tee asks, looking over at you.

*yesterday*

“As much as I want to continue this, it’s so late and you’re gonna hate yourself in the morning if you don’t go to sleep” you breathe out.

“You right. Tomorrow, after I get back?” He smirks.

“If you’re lucky” you shrug, giggling at his expression.

“I’m very lucky, damn it” he says nuzzling his face into your neck making you laugh.

*present*

“You are indeed, Tee” you giggle, rolling into him as he laughs with you.

You were the lucky one.