#Dean Barker

[a-solitary-sea-rover-backup]

Another year cancer-free, thank goodness.

[a-solitary-sea-rover-backup]

#aroace & he's my blorbo#enamored with his suffering

As that one lady said on Twitter back during AC 34, I want to be six years old again, adopted by Dean Barker, and lovingly taught to sail P-Classes.

not sexually attracted to this guy not aesthetically attracted to him but a secret third thing

[like-the-cut-of-your-jib]

Alinghi has bought more coaching talent…

Kiwi and Aussie know how.

Jason Waterhouse and Phil Robertson joining Dean Barker. None of them can sail due to nationality rules, but it will be interesting to see if this trio can transmit their know-how.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Omens

Arkasha Stevenson: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the first omen Stevenson: it's about a plot to breed the antichrist King: wait this sounds familiar Stevenson: yeah it's based on The Omen King: no that's not it

King: wait! i've got it! King: this is totally ripping off Good Omens! King: it's the same set up! Lovecraft: you're right! even the name is similar! Barker: wow, i hope someone gets fired for THAT blunder

King: neil! Neil! did you know that the omen is ripping off your book? Neil Gaiman: steve, good omens is a parody of the omen King: King: what Gaiman: i mean, even the name is similar Gaiman: that should have been a clue

Gaiman: you must understand, steve, that once the omen was the biggest thing in horror Gaiman: we believed its grip on man's imagination would last the ages! But alas... it is forgotten! Gaiman: forgotten like the fading filaments of a dream in the morning light! King: oh ok

Gaiman: now, like the great ozymandias,king of kings, memory of the omen has scattered to the howling winds of the glittering desert of oblivion Gaiman: and like prometheus the titan of old my torment knows no bounds Koontz: neil! did you know the first omen ripped off your book?

Gaiman: no young dean for you see the omen actually predates good omens Koontz: huh? but it just came out! Gaiman: no see the original omen came our before the good omens book Koontz: original omen? book? Koontz: i don't understand

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Shelley: so neil i hear they ripped off your book Gaiman: no i Shelley: i'd be real pissed if someone ripped off my book Gaiman: they didn't Shelley: i'd give em one of these [pantomimes shivving]

Gaiman: please! no one ripped off good omens Barker: oh they definitely ripped off good omens Poe: seems pretty obvious, yeah Gaiman: edgar! he's just stirring up shit! Gaiman: you know that! Gaiman: why are you believing him now? Poe: no he's right, it's an open and shut case

Neil Gaiman: it's not a rip off! good omens was literally an omen parody! Gaiman: if you won't believe me, ask terry! Terry Pratchett: hey is anyone hungry? i could really go for some soup right now

[noonecanhearyouscreen]

Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals Season 2!

Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals is a fiction podcast based on The Hugo Award Winning microfiction series "Midnight Pals" originally posted on Twitter by Bitter Karella https://twitter.com/midnight_pals. The series stars classic horror authors Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, Mary Shelley, Clive Barker, H.P. Lovecraft, and Dean Koontz all gathering around a campfire to tell their stories like in the classic kids horror anthology "Are You Afraid of the Dark?".

Our first season premiered last year to much success and all of our episodes are currently available at http://www.midnightpals.com/ or wherever you like to get your podcasts.

We are currently crowdfunding our Season 2 which will feature parodies of Hellraiser, Angela Carter's Red Riding Hood variations from The Bloody Chamber, The Watchers, Interview with the Vampire, "A Shadow over Insmouth", Richard Bachman, and Rebecca. If you like a healthy dose of laughs with your horror, we just might be your jam.

[a-solitary-sea-rover-backup]

Over the past few years the legend had grown, as legends tend to do. On the eve of the gala honoring the Louis Vuitton Cup winners there was hardly a soul in New Zealand who didn't know it, and much of the sailing community abroad could say the same.

It went something like this: Dean Barker, the skipper of the defending Team New Zealand, was living a modern fairy tale. A millionaire's son and Olympic hopeful, a driver of fast cars, he was clean-cut and handsome. Just a few months shy of thirty, Barker had been considered one of Auckland's most eligible bachelors until his recent engagement to field hockey player Mandy Smith, a fellow Olympic athlete. Three years before, at the turn of the millennium, he had made his America's Cup debut as the protege of the brilliant Russell Coutts, the skipper responsible for New Zealand's first, near-flawless victory in 1995. At first just Coutts' understudy and assistant, in the final race with the Italians, the old master had stepped aside, leaving his apprentice Barker at the helm to cinch the final win– and he had, resoundingly, giving Team New Zealand another flawless 5-0 victory to ring in the century.

A few months later the bombshell had dropped that the sailors who had made up the core of the 1995 and 2000 crews were becoming free agents and signing up with a new team being put together in Switzerland, led by Coutts and tactician Brad Butterworth. Barker, suddenly the new skipper and in charge of repairing a hollowed-out team, had been thrust into an even more mythic light. The noble prince carrying the pride of a nation, preparing for a showdown with his former colleagues, now revealed as wicked traitors– this was the stuff of romance and chivalry. But surely he was more than up to the task– after all, for such a golden boy, surely everything must come easily.

Well, that was the legend. But the trouble with legends is, they don't leave much room for the human behind them.

And at the moment, things were not going easily for Dean Barker. Far from it.

[x]

Constantly obsessed with the concept of a man forced to be a myth. What do you do when every step you take is embedded into the text. Every word you say prose to read. You're part of something bigger than yourself. The narrative tugs you along like water currents. There is no time to rest, to be human. You must be great, you must be legend

[lou-iz-stat]

I think I just really like stories where a couple is killing people together. For example-

Interview with the Vampire, Heathers, Lisa Frankenstein, Sweeney Todd, Santa Clarita Diet etc…

I just realized this after seeing Lisa Frankenstein and loving it.

[jt1674]

[lab-trash]

So, uh... I may, or may not, be writing a Midam college fic about Adam's friends slowly thinking he's crazy and then learning he's bodying with an archangel.

And it might include Clark Barker, because I'm a huge sucker for that dumbass.

And I was wondering if you would maybe be interested in maybe reading that?

[wutbju]

Did you ever get a gem like this from the Dean of Women?

January 30, 1992

Dear Camille:

It has been brought to my attention that some students feel that you have consistently worn short skirts. I know you will want to make sure that everything you wear does come to the bottom of the knee, especially since you will be going out on an ensemble. I realize the ensemble outfits are probably taken care of by the University, but as you may know, it is important that students not feel faculty and staff members do not adhere to the dress regulations that are required of them. No doubt this is an oversight on your part, and I know we can count on your cooperation.

If you want to discuss this with me, feel free to contact me.

[a-solitary-sea-rover-backup]

[hitchell-mope]

It’s time for a new poll.

[spn-mediabigbang]

Supernatural Become Human || Mature || 48802 words Author: @maggiemaybe160 Artist: @LeafZelindor

Three stories that start apart become linked in this story of social justice, love, and fighting for the right to both. Freedom and equality in life is at stake for all. It’s a race to break free and embrace life, even if that means becoming a deviant. Dean Winchester is an old cop who works homicide and is paired with an android, Castiel. They have to work together to find out what is happening to androids and why some are killing their human owners. Weems is an Imaginary Friend model android who takes care of a little boy named Fletcher and rescues Fletcher from an abusive parent. Jack enjoyed their android life working for Bobby Singer until they were violently attacked by Bobby’s drug-addicted, jealous daughter, Bela.

Source Material: Detroit Become Human (video game)

Link to Fic Link to Art Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Weems/Nicky (Imaginary Friends Episode), Jack Kline/Clark Barker Warnings: Major Character Death and Graphic Depictions of Violence Tags: Minor Character Death Angst Age Difference Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human) Android Gore (Detroit: Become Human) Implied/Referenced Drug Use Torture Blood Hurt/Comfort Police Sex Work Murder Abuse Child Neglect Falling In Love Enemies to Lovers Running Away Russian Roulette Suicidal Dean Winchester

[aokuro-san]

Hi! I'm curious about your 5 favorite books 👀

I apologize for the delay. It's been a crazy day...

Anyway, here are my top 5 favorite books! 📔📚

Without more explanations than the title, a song with which I identify the book and a phrase from it.

"BURN THIS BOOK. Go on. Quickly, while there's still time. Burn it. Don't look another word. Did you hear me? Not. One. More. Word."

"What immediately disturbed Jamie was the look in the clown's eyes, a bewildered glaze which suggested the clown was completely new to the world, that's Jamie's car was the very first it had ever seen"

"The terror, which would not end for another twenty-eight years -if it ever did end- began, so far as I know or can tell, with a boat made from a sheet of newspaper floating down a gutter swollen with rain"

“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita."

"[…] You demand sincerity when your codes demand servitude. You offer freedom when in reality you are extending a prison with rings. […] I am doomed to lose. I could expand on many more reasons, but I think one will suffice: I can't jump out the window and leave you because I'm a woman."

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Imagination

Neil Gaiman: [inhaling fresh morning air] ahhhh what a great day for a race! Clive Barker: what race? Gaiman: the HUMAN race Gaiman: i was just thinking of the awesome potential of the human mind Gaiman: and the limitless vista of the human imagination

Gaiman: just imagine! with the awesome power of imagination, YOU are in control of your own fantasies Gaiman: all you need is a pinch of curiosity, a dash of wonder Gaiman: and an ounce of whimsy!! Gaiman: butterfly in the skyyyy Gaiman: i can fly twice as hiiiigh

Gaiman: why, you could imagine anything! Gaiman: you could imagine a clockwork alligator as big as the sky! Gaiman: you could imagine a railroad conductor made of lemon drops! Gaiman: you could even imagine Gaiman: a boy who wears glasses and goes to a wizard school

Rowling: hello children Rowling: my lawyersss inform me there'sss some copyright infringement happening here Gaiman: ah but joanne Gaiman: if you check the time stamps, i'm sure you'll find that Tim Hunter actually PREDATES harry potter Rowling: Rowling: curssse you gaiman Rowling: you win thisss round

Rowling: curssse you gaiman Rowling: not even i am rich enough to overcome the limitsss of chronological time! Rowling: not yet Rowling: but sssomeday Rowling: if only i hadn't ssspent sso much on that fence

Alan Moore: [appearing in a clap of thunder] Behold! The Arch magus! King: the arch magus! Koontz: the arch magus! Lovecraft: the arch magus! Barker: the arch magus! Poe: the arch magus!

Alan Moore: behold! the story of the boy wizard antichrist! Rowling: ALRIGHT i can definitely sssue over this Moore: ah foolish mortal, observe and know... i never specifically SAID harry potter Rowling: Moore: i just said the boy wizard named [mumbles] who goes to school at [mumbles] school of witchcraft and wizardry and fights [mumbles]

Rowling: curse you moore! Rowling: alwayssss one ssstep ahead of the game! Rowling: curssse your plausssible deniability! Rowling: hmmm "plaussible deniability" huh? Rowling: well TWO can play that game...

Rowling: so anyway the nazis didn't actually commit those documented crimes King: gosh joanne that uh kinda sounds- Rowling: oh but you'll notice i never said the word "holocaust" Rowling: haha i'm too sslippery for you! Rowling: johnny law can't keep up! Rowling: they'll never catch JK Rowling with her molted ssskin around her anklesss!

[doctorloup]

Psst. Kids.... you want more funky little dudes hanging out around a campfire being weirdly horny and taking the piss out of JK Rowling? Chuck us a dolla?

Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals Season 2!

Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals is a fiction podcast based on The Hugo Award Winning microfiction series "Midnight Pals" originally posted on Twitter by Bitter Karella https://twitter.com/midnight_pals. The series stars classic horror authors Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, Mary Shelley, Clive Barker, H.P. Lovecraft, and Dean Koontz all gathering around a campfire to tell their stories like in the classic kids horror anthology "Are You Afraid of the Dark?".

Our first season premiered last year to much success and all of our episodes are currently available at http://www.midnightpals.com/ or wherever you like to get your podcasts.

We are currently crowdfunding our Season 2 which will feature parodies of Hellraiser, Angela Carter's Red Riding Hood variations from The Bloody Chamber, The Watchers, Interview with the Vampire, "A Shadow over Insmouth", Richard Bachman, and Rebecca. If you like a healthy dose of laughs with your horror, we just might be your jam.