#Dazai is so real

[ohhcinnybuns]

Dazai is such a gremlin, fr

Must be recalling his anthology twin

He’s so real though. Chuuya is hella pretty.

[originalartblog]

Have you ever seen Scott Sterling Best Volleyball Blocks Ever? I think the ADA should make use of Dazai even when he's incapacitated.

[yaolmao]

simp

[iwantmochisoup]

chuuya & kitty!dazai for @ohhcinnybuns

[caelanglang]

The O(ccasionally)samu D(runk)azai

[evilkaeya]

This is the funniest and most relatable bsd panel ever

[pleucas]

fate

[yayll]

omg PLSPLSPLS GIVE US GIRLDAD!DAZAI!!! Im literally so obsessed w ur work and luv luv luv reading it <3

just wanna say thank u so much anon for sending in the CUTEST request ever i have never thought abt it this way and when i finally did it was over for me. it wrote itself. THANK U FOR LIKING MY WORK THATS SO SWEET AHHH :') i keep getting ill so srry it's a lil late but i am so thankful for you trusting me w ur concept. mwahhhh.

~ a little something about girldad!Dazai simply trying his best, and loving it ~

Dazai never thought the day would come when his life finally felt complete. First, you happened to him and that was something he couldn't even fathom in a million lifetimes. It wasn't meant for him, and letting love into his heart felt like going against the nature of things. He struggled with it for a long time, pushing you away and making sure you realized this wasn't something worth pursuing... but you never relented, and he stopped fighting the longing for something more. You made him feel it was okay to want, to yearn, to need. And so came along every single repressed desire he had ever had. The love between you bloomed, and he thought this was the height of it all; The bandages he wore over his body were no longer grim reminders of his lack of humanity and the masks he wore on the daily. Those frayed wraps of fabric were symbols of love returning, of patience, of a lived in soul, and he no longer had to maintain them alone. He had you.

And then one day, he suddenly had a little girl in his life.

Another life to nurture and to start anew with, and his fear was that he yet again could not redeem himself from his past, but he was determined for her, for you and for himself to not let that be the case. When you gave him the most precious thing he didn't think he ever wanted nor could ever have, that was the day he vowed to be the epitome of a true figure worth looking up to. Osamu Dazai, the family man! Dad of the year!

... Except today, when he woke up late to take the apple of his eye to preschool. You were out of town, and though you eventually claimed to have faith in his solo parenting skills, it was a complete leap of faith. He comforted you for hours, how hard could it be? He can be both parents at once! How cruel of you to even doubt him. He remembers the look on your face when he slammed the door on you while holding your precious angel in his arms, both of them giggling while they waved you off as if they rehearsed it.

Aaaand now he realized why you were so worried. He looks at the time and he springs out of bed, running off to her bedroom. She even sleeps like a little lamb, he thinks to himself. He rushes at her side and softly turns her over.

"Little love, wake uuupppp..."

She pouts, shaking her head as she shifts in her sleep. He sighs and tries again a little more desperately.

"If you wake up, that will be really good for daddy, otherwise mommy will kill me! Up we go!"

He picks her up, and she rubs her eyes as Dazai does the most rushed morning routine ever.

He gets her dressed, though the socks don't match, and when he does her pigtails, they're lopsided. How do you do it?! And now he has to FEED her?! He stuffs a few handfuls of cereal into his mouth while giving her a proper bowl, but they're so late he thinks they should just start walking now.

"Take the bowl with you, we can do this thing called eat and walk! Yes?"

"'Kay, daddy!"

She simply giggles, not understanding how dire it is for her to make it today. She holds onto her cereal bowl as he grabs her backpack, both of them walking out into the street. Dazai's fast walking and her bowl sloshes a bit as she tries to match his pace and eat at the same time.

She's waddling adorably, and he gets lost in watching her carefully while also literally getting lost finding the school. He stops at the crosswalk, and thinks to himself. She looks up at him with a milk mustache, and her soft melodic voice rings once more like a voice of reason. She points to the right.

"That way! hehe."

Dazai has no time to fact check this, and at this point she's parenting him. You'd pass out of laughter if you could see him right now. They rush towards the school, and when he drops her off at the gate, he gives her a big kiss on her forehead.

"I love you, okay? Now give daddy the cereal bowl. How yum was that?"

She cheers, smiling wide.

"Yum!!!!"

He smirks, and takes the bowl. At least he got that right, that smile alone is worth every late start to his mornings. He waves at her as she enters the school, and forgets he's holding the bowl still, her teacher looking at him like he's deranged. You were so proud to hear that his first time parenting alone went so smooth! What you didn't know was that your little girl did most of the work keeping him on track. Still counts, right?

Another time he was exemplary was when he had just given her a bath and you were supervising to make sure he got her routine down.

"Osamu, that's the conditioner. The shampoo is over there."

You laugh while pointing at the clearly marked bottle. He rolls his eyes, smirking as he continues to rub it in her little swirl of dark hair.

"Oh please, I knew that. This makes it soft! And all detangled... It's a better routine, trust me. This is so much better."

He was totally bullshitting, he had no idea there was more than one hair product ever. This is the same man who used to find showers foreign and eat canned crab for every meal. You simply nodded, seeing right through his facade. But it was all so endearing watching your daughter splash the water on his face and play with rubber duckies, it was a dream come true. It was a dream you knew was more precious to him than anything, so you let him have his fun.

Once bath time is over, he places her on the bed in her diaper and walks out to grab her a change of clothes. Uh oh, he forgot today was laundry day! He walks back into the room a few moments later, thinking of how to pivot without having to bother you when he sees his little angel wrapped head to toe in a full roll of his bandages. His eyes go wide at the sight of the wrapped up toddler, and he laughs nervously as he rushes over while she has the time of her life squealing and rolling around the bed. He pretends to be mad.

"Little love! That's not clothes, silly! That's for daddy only, you have your own."

She simply disregards this, her mind focusing on how hilarious it would be if she just started making bubbles with her saliva instead. Dazai chuckles again, and puts his hands on his hips.

"Oh, such attitude! You know, l'm gonna have to do it... Remember when I told you about daddy's old job? I'm gonna have to get mean againnn..~"

He immediately launches himself onto the bed, tickling her through the thick fabric, and when you rush over you find them both just collapsed on the bed, Dazai counting her fingers and toes in order to distract her enough to unwrap her. Luckily, you had a spare onesie for her to save the day... even if it took the both of you to get her out of her improvised outfit. What a strong willed little one! You hoped this wasn't a special abillity developing...

It's no surprise she's a daddy's girl either, a mini Dazai at her core with your balancing characteristics on the surface. She was a little menace, sticking her tongue out at dogs every time she saw them because Dazai would do the same. He would even go as far as to help her dress like her hero! Of course you both had a stroke when you saw how tightly she wore that bolo tie, but the laugh after was worth the worry... After you scolded both of them... but it proved useless against two of the most experienced charmers you've ever met. You just couldn't win.

You especially could never get used to the sight after a long day of existing in the real world, simply watching her climb up to the couch and playing with Dazai's hair as she nuzzles herself into his shoulder, right in the crook of his neck. It was just as intense for his poor little heart as well. The way she'd yank on a strand while he pretended to be asleep was priceless, or when she'd stick her finger in his nose, causing him to have a sneezing fit soon after. It was almost karmic the way she both adored him and put him in his place, just like you.

"Daddy has brown hair because he drinks chocolate milk."

"Daddy stinks today. Throw him away!"

"Daddy looks like a mummy. Do you like mummies?"

"Who's Kunikida? He yelled at daddy today, it was funny!"

She'd babble on about all kinds of curious nonsense. You'd simply nod and agree. She was never wrong!

But what really got to you was watching her pass out on his head after hours of playtime, and the way Dazai would finally open his eyes with that smug smile of his, scooping her up and carefully taking her to bed. He tucks her in, whispering about all the adventures they'll have tomorrow and the days after. About all the rules they'll break together, and mysteries they'll solve when he takes her to work with him. He doesn't tell bedtime stories per se, but he spends all his time having actual conversations with her until she dozes off because he cannot believe this is a little extension of him and he's just as fascinated with knowing her the way she is with him. With life.

She's full of it, something he wasn't for a long time, and it brings him to tears when he sometimes thinks about it too long in private.

You're both his life and he didn't realize he could still feel regret like he does when he thinks of all the times he spent trying to end his own existence. It's a whole different world, and sure, he also loves to use her as an excuse to continue to slack off at work, and maaaybe he likes to sometimes force Atsushi to turn so she can pet him like the giant cat he is out of both their own entertainment, but dying is no longer the priority. It hasn't been for a long time, and he thinks he's doing an okay job... At being a dad, at being a human, at belonging in this world.

When he finally gets in bed with you, he feels whole. He also feels impish when he turns over and whispers.

"Maybe it's time for another, hm?~"

Oops!

[anticidic]

Dazai "I think about killing Chuuya all the time and can't stand him" Osamu who still has Chuuya's phone number after leaving the mafia. Just the fact they still have each other's numbers. But it actually makes me side-eye them more because Dazai got a new phone at some point between when he defected and while he was lying low before joining the agency, which likely means new number, and Chuuya has it and Dazai saved Chuuya's number.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

dazai is actually the realest guy in bsd for considering love a vital part of the human experience and falling a little in love with everyone around him and basing his plans on his understandings of people and being excited about his friends and dragging them to wherever he is and always believing wholeheartedly in the power of allies and teamwork

[yumaisbored]

dazai has been openly down bad for chuuya since before day one, mans couldn’t even wait twenty-four hours to literally declare his love for this kid he just met

[zaerxa]

Why do you, as a man, have a massive height difference between your “rival” — for my twt comm sheet !!!

[st4rd0lly]

𝐂’𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐏𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐘!

cw: dog!reader (as in ears and tail) , ruts / heat , SMUT , written with AFAB reader in mind but no established genitalia or gendered pronouns/words regarding reader, slightttt corruption kink? if u squint, dom dazai, sub reader, obvi MDNI 

just imagining being dazai’s puppydog coworker and oh is he so mean. 

dazai, who teases you relentlessly at work, playing with your ears and messing with your tail till you turn around and start scolding him only for him to say he only hears barking right now

dazai, who riles you up on purpose just to hear you slightly growl at him but not miss a chance to poke fun at you for your tail giving you away by wagging it ! he takes it just as a sign of excitement and endearment 

dazai, who leans down really close to your ears and whispers the most suggestive sentences ever to watch you freeze and squirm slightly but then pull back like he said nothing 

dazai, who learns about your rut / heat cycles through “accidentally” eavesdropping on yosano speaking to you about them and how she might not have the meds to suppress them in time

dazai, who jumpstarts your rut / heat cycle early just because of this ! He amps up the teasing and flirty words and he watches how you squirm under any of his touches, how you breathe a little more heavy when he’s near, how you keep having your eyes wander to him. how they keep trailing from his eyes, to his neck, to his hands and sometimes his crotch

dazai, who watches you excuse yourself from work in a hurry much to the office’s surprise ! he offers to go check in on you like the good coworker and friend he is

dazai, who stands in front of your door with his ear pressed up against it. hearing you whine out desperately, and judging by the sounds of moving fabric, he assumes you’re humping a pillow. his hand wraps around the door knob and twists it, knowing that you were distracted and knowing that you forgot to lock the door

dazai, who knocks on the door and asks you if you’re alright which makes your hips stutter slightly. you try to tell him that you’re alright and that you just need some time to rest

dazai, who enters your apartment and sees you on the couch with your knees sinking into the cushions as you rut against the pillow. your tail was wagging and your ears were twitching

dazai, who helps you through your rut / heat like a good coworker and friend <3

“Oh f-fuck ! i-i’m sorry dazai—” You tried to apologize, your head was too dazed to even think properly but you were too focused on catching your pleasure. You figured you’d catch embarrassment pretty soon regardless, you couldn’t even continue to look him in the eye after turning your head around to see him.

“Now isn’t that a sight to see… My, it must be my birthday because this feels like a gift more than anything.” He cooed out loud, shutting the door behind him and locking it. Though, the idea of leaving it unlocked and having the possibility of a person walking in did leave him tempted. 

He walked over behind you, his hands firmly stopping your hips abruptly. The feeling of his touch felt cold compared to the heat you were feeling. You had stripped yourself bare, only leaving your underwear on, soaked with slick. You let out a whimper at this action, lowering your head in defeat and embarrassment with your hands in front of the cushion to support you. Your tail kept thumping against the couch. 

“Poor little puppy…” He chuckled, one of his hands traveled up your body before brushing your shoulder and then lifting your chin up to look at him with a gentle force. He couldn’t rough you up just yet. “Look at you, your skin feels so warm. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve assumed you were sick-“

“Dazai…” You whined, blinking slowly. God how you wanted him to fuck you right now. Treating you like a little toy, pressing your face down into the mattress while pounding into you. The ache between your legs was fucking unbearable, everything felt too hot and he was the only source of coldness. 

“You want me to help you?”

Those words felt like cold water splashed to your face. Your eyes widen in eagerness and your body heats up more with shame and arousal. A smirk tugs at his lips, seeing even your ears perking up at this offer. You were too cute for him to handle. 

“I-I’ve never…done it before.” You admitted, and he swore his heart was about to cave in. You really were too cute for him to handle. Regardless of whether or not you’ve slept with someone, it didn’t matter to him. But the thought of him being the first and only one to make you mess?

His hardened cock strained against his pants uncomfortably even more now.

“And yet you’re humping a pillow like you’ve fucked yourself on a dick before.” The brunette teased, looking closely as you get shy.

“Why don’t you tell me everything you’ve been thinking about when you looked at me today? Trust me, I could tell.” Dazai grinned, his hand trailing down to your neck and rubbing the skin beneath his thumb. He leaned down closer. 

“I guess I have to take responsibility for putting you in this predicament in the first place… so just tell me everything you’ve thought of me doing to you ‘kay? And I promise I’ll be better than what you imagined, oh-

—and keep your pretty eyes on me pup.”

[telephonedear]

i see your “naomi is an illusion” theory and raise you: what if tanizaki is the illusion?

[esmiara]

The cute highschool boys with romantic feelings issues~

[philzokman]

NO FUCKING SHOT PENGUIN CLASSICS MENTIONED AND I QUOTE 'HIT ANIME SERIES BUNGO STRAY DOGS' IN THE DESCRIPTION OF THEIR UPCOMING TRANSLATION OF NO LONGER HUMAN NONE OF US ARE SEEING HEAVEN