#Dark needs therapy
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Tired: Tav that’s good for Astarion cause they play therapist and give him support and space to heal
Wired: Tav that’s good for Astarion cause they’re such a disaster he has to get his shit together cause gods above one of them needs to be a functional adult
#I know it’s coming from a good place#but if I read one more fic where Tav walk Astarion through cognitive behavioral therapy I’ll scream#why I only read durge content#durge enjoyers get it#personally I think he’d be more comfortable in a relationship with some one with they’re own issues#wouldn’t have to feel like such a burden to them#and feel more secure that they need him just as much as he needs them#bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate astarion#bg3 dark urge#bg3 durge#astarion x tav#tavstarion#baldurs gate#baldurs gate 3 astarion
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Durgetash with redemption arc never works for me. Especially resisting Durge trying to redeem Gortash. And it's not even because I don't believe that one can write plausible redemption arc while staying true to their character. But the presence of it, the motivation for it, it just removes one of the main appeals of the ship for me.
Because I love durgetash because of the trope of "I love you the way you are, not despite of it! I don't have to look past anything to love, I'm fully accepting you." and it work both ways, it's two terrible evil people with deep admiration for each other, that's the appeal of the ship for me.
I'm just not particularly interested in any "I can fix you" narrative. Because resist!Durge trying to make Gortash better is just "I think I still feel something towards you and so I'm going to change you to what I now perceive to be the good and correct way to see the world and behave." Which might objectively be a good thing but it takes away the initial appeal for me.
#I'm sorry I'm villian apologist I just love unconditional acceptance#They might both need therapy but they are not getting one from me#durgetash#enver gortash#the dark urge#bg3#baldur's gate 3#mEye post
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Another thing about Baby Girl is that Harris Dickinson's character is a blank slate. He very easily could be just the hot intern, and in a lot of ways, he is. We don't learn much about him or his motivations, but there's a part in the film where he (Samuel) tells Romy (NK) that sometimes he scares himself, and Romy tells him she's not scared of him, and all I could think was...well, I am!
He's so deliciously mysterious and almost unhinged? I was lowkey like Romy maybe you should run away from this man. Fuck the fact that he's half your age and your subordinate, this man is volatile lmao.
But I think part of what makes me feel better about the lack of communication between the two (about kink, safewords, or what tf they're doing sexually in general) is that neither of these people knows what the fuck they're doing. They understand each other in ways their other partners don't, but Samuel is flying by the seat of his pants, and Romy is as confused as hell. Bless her heart.
#babygirl movie#harris dickinson#nicole kidman#i think this movie could've been much better if it was an actual exploration of sex and kink because Romy had some dark ass thoughts!#but instead im just like girl you just need a vacation and sex therapy with your husband not a whole new man!#it didn't even really feel like she was trying to feel sexually liberated. she just needed a break from capitalism.#spoilers#i guess
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Dark Choco canonically being an alcoholic (or at least, according to the promo art) is sending me 💀💀
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I think there was also one from the CN server promo images of him drinking while in front of a volcano or something too, like good grief—
#this man needs therapy AND rehabilitation or something#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#dark choco cookie#milk is here too but we're not talking about him#🌌❔#cookie run ovenbreak
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Why are you running?! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?!
#crk#cookie run kingdom#pure vanilla cookie#golden cheese cookie#dark cacao cookie#hollyberry cookie#white lily cookie#ancient heroes#shadow milk cookie#mystic flour cookie#burning spice cookie#they need a therapy right now-
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Shadow is going through a ringer this 2024...
Movie
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Manga
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Anime
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Game
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#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#sonic x shadow generations#sonic movie 3#sonic x shadow dark beginnings#jet black hedgehog manga#man someone needs to send Shadow to therapy asap
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business idea: support group for older siblings who do NOT know how to fix the plot
#🙏putting this out there#older siblings#maybe i do need to try group therapy#eldest daughter#eldest sibling#desiblr#desi#humor#memes#dark academia
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Speculative Biology of Euclydeans (and Bill Cipher) part 4
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Euclydean society and Bill Cipher's disability
Reading the first part is highly recommended before reading this one, since in that part I explained how Euclydia functions as a dimension.
This part is going to talk about disability, discrimination and eugenics of geometric shapes, so tw if you're sensitive to that.
Society
Euclydeans were intelligent, sapient organisms that lived in a complex society. From Bill directly, we find out that they had schools, jobs, families, social structure and developed medicine. This makes them seem very much like humans here on Earth.
We know that Bill had a family, his mother and father, however, we don't know whether those two were married. So I can't tell you whether the institution of marriage even existed in Euclydia. Bill never talks about marriage, so I'm inclined to believe that they didn't really have wedding vows, but rather, a pair would stay together because they loved each other and for their children.
However, Bill does talk about divorce. He sees his falling out with Stanford as divorcing, so it's pretty clear that Euclydean "marriage" consisted of a pair being together and deciding to spend their life together, but if they wanted to break up, that was called a divorce and they probably had disputes over who gets house and kids.
And when we're speaking of love, Bill claims that he can't see the difference between love and fear in humans. This is kind of true: both intense feelings of love and fear activate the sympathetic nervous system which causes the heart to beat faster, deepens and quickens the breathing and makes us all sweaty and flushed. Love in humans causes the same things to happen as fight or flight response and Bill is too dense to accept that there is a difference.
This, however, tells us that in Euclydeans, feelings of love do not activate their equivalent of fight or flight. Bill is a person very prone to angry outbursts at slightest provocation. But Ford can do a lot more to him than any other person before he gets angry. This means that love in Euclydeans is a soothing feeling. Love makes them feel calmer and safer. Hell, Stanford's mindscape was Bill's safe space. Now, of course, love in Euclydeans isn't all about calm - they also get excited. Excitement upon seeing the one you love, but expressed as happiness, with most likely slower heartbeat. Again, loved ones in Euclydeans are seen as a safe space, a little lighthouse in a stormy sea to hang onto.
Euclydeans also express love in a similar way to mammals: they bring gifts (Bill catching rats and arranging them to form Ford's name), they want attention from the other person and their affection, they share food and drinks and overall want to spend time and have fun with their companion.
But when it comes to anger, fear and joy I don't see any significant differences between humans and Euclydeans. Sadness is a tough one, because Bill expresses it by not expressing it. This man is in so much denial that he could flood the Nile. However, distress in Bill is more or less the same as in humans. He also gets drunk after break up and acts as a drunk person would. This tells me that sadness is expressed somewhat similarly in Euclydeans as in humans with maybe some tweaks here and there.
Bill is obsessed with The Great Gatsby, so much so that he dedicated a chunk of his book to literally citing the second chapter of it. This is a very concerning behavior (but, to be fair, most of his behaviors are). However, I believe that his obsession comes from a feeling of nostalgia and familiarity. When I look at Bill's attire I see a guy wearing a fancy hat and a bow tie which were a staple for evening dress of 1920s gentlemen. He also sports a cane, which they also wore. I can't remember much from The Great Gatsby and I'm too lazy to read it again, but it does take place in 1920s America. So, maybe the society Bill was born into resembled that time period.
If that was the case, the societal structures and certain expectations would have been rigid. Euclydia is very much based on Abbott's Flatland and, while that world is a critique of 1800s Britain, it depicts a very sad and bleak society where everyone has to fit in a role that was determined by their shape. In Flatland, Triangles were the lowest class, with isosceles being the lowest of the low and used as slaves and soldiers, while equilateral Triangles (like Bill) could rise in the society and perform the roles of merchants. Scalene Triangles were considered abominations and were killed as kids.
I don't think that Euclydia was exactly as Flatland. However, some Gravity Falls material point towards triangles being lower class citizens. I sadly don't have Journal 3, but I know about the page where Stanford goes to a second dimension and he talks about how Triangle people are low class citizens and Circle people are high class citizens. This is very similar to Flatland, but what about Bill?
Well, Bill was probably from a lower middle class family. Him wearing oversized shoes that were probably bought on sale or given by someone whose child had grown out of them, speaks about them being kinda poor. Bill was also bullied by his peers at school, but notably by rhombuses and trapezoids. These shapes were one class above him, because they had four sides. Better off kids bullying a poorer, disabled kid is a tale as old as time.
The eugenics policies in Euclydia were probably much less strict than in Flatland. However, if they were anything like laws controlling disabled people in 1920s USA, then Bill and his mother were probably forcibly sterilized because of his mutation.
2. Bill Cipher's disability
Bill was born with a disability - well, to be fair it was more akin to superpower - of being able to see into the "third dimension". Bill could see outside of Euclydean borders because he had his eye placed on the front of his face and not on the side, like other Euclydeans. This allowed him to see the stars of the surrounding universes. (please check part 1 of this analysis where you have detailed sketch of Euclydia in relation to other universes).
However, because of his mutation, even though he had much broader view of the universe, Bill was considered legally blind by his peers. Because his eye was on the front and he could move only sideways, Bill was seeing his home dimension only with his peripheral vision. He could make out basic shapes and colors, but not the details. He probably draws his parents as blue and red triangles because that's how he saw them. He could never see the details of their faces. He could, of course, recognize them by touch, smell and voice, but he could never see them as they could see him.
Bill also behaves a lot like a person with ADHD. Now, I have ADHD and I got that diagnosis when I was SEVENTEEN. My early school years were hell. If Bill does have ADHD, he was probably a problematic child at school and that just added more fuel for his bullies. The lack of control over his emotions and his special interest in stars were definitely a reason for him to get bullied, maybe even more than his disability. There were no schools for special needs children in 1920s USA, which doesn't mean that they didn't exist in Euclydia. But, since little Bill was from a poor family, he didn't get to go those schools if they existed.
Another quirk of his mutation in Euclydia meant that Bill had problems feeding himself. Since Euclydeans use their eye as a mouth, Bill had to eat sideways. Imagine if your mouth was on your back and you had to reach behind to feed. Bill was lucky that his eye was much bigger than other Euclydeans which made his mouth bigger as well. His parents also accommodated his needs - his mom was removing crust from his bread and he was also given his medicine in liquid form.
I made art to explain this more easily:
So, with Bill being bullied and rejected by his society because of his disability (and likely neurodivergency), there was no wonder he wanted to somehow prove himself. Talking about stars and the existence of something outside of Euclydia was considered illegal, but why? Well... stick around for part 5, where I will explain how I believe Bill Cipher accidentally destroyed his entire dimension. It will be fun ;P
@ok1237 and @unoriginal-starwalker I hope you'll enjoy this =D
PS: I hid Dipper and Mabel in the art! Can you find them?
#so this one isn't really biology but who cares#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#baby bill cipher#he's so cute i'm gonna need therapy#sorry for all the dark stuff in here#but 1920s were wild#fan art#long post
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CACAO ART DUMP.
all from today teehee :3
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e2389881b4cf27bc7078abf59a63aace/bfea5446d0cbe5c6-22/s540x810/849a0cd7bfbb5964b442080ebcaa5886dffb229d.jpg)
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#cookie run kingdom#crk#cookie run#cookie run fanart#dark cacao cookie#pure vanilla crk#purecacao#dark choco cookie#everyone needs therapy#cacao they could never make me hate you 🫶
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͏𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 ❤︎ me vs. the 2D men i simp for who could also run a train on me and i'd thank them
#going through this and i see i have a type...#and by type i mean bad boy with dark hair#aki excluded??#LMFAOOOOOO i need therapy i think!#or to be fucked through a bed by all 8 of them at the same time#my coochie wrote that sorry
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Zuma's Expressions
I was going out of my MIND struggling with character likenesses, which is a REAL PROBLEM when you plan on drawing tons of comics about them.
After banging my head on the table and tearing my hair out didn't seem to work, I doodled practice sketches of @gelly-art's queen bitch– I mean, Drow Sorceress instead, about to gauge someone's eyes out for stepping on their toe or something.
Or maybe for just existing.
I dunno.
Girl's got issues.
#sakart#bg3#dungeons and dragons#drow#dark elf#gelly#zumara#other tavs#sketches#girl needs to take an ambien#or anger management courses#or both#probably both#someone get her some therapy STAT
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analysing the (heartbreaking) kitty letter bc i will never get over it <\3
Ty, Ty, Ty.
kit repeating his name so many times bc he is physically incapable of stopping oh i want to cry
Your name looks strange written out like that. Like an abbreviation. But Tiberius would be so formal. I never think of you that way. Or, I suppose I should say, I never thought of you that way. Tenses matter in these situations, I guess.
he spends so much time thinking about everything related to ty, even his name and how it’a pronounced. it's like he has a little box in the back of his mind reserved for all things ty and he only allows himself to open it sometimes, when he can't help himself any longer. and he does it, despite the pain it causes him.
It’s late, past midnight, and I’m sitting on the windowsill in my bedroom at Cirenworth.
late at night, all kit can think about is ty and everything he lost. in the darkness, he can allow himself to feel and remember.
Jem and Tessa gave me one of the best rooms. Of course they did. It has a view out over the gardens. Sometimes I see the ghost of a dog there, a golden retriever I’m pretty sure, running in and out of the flowerbeds. He seems like a pretty happy ghost.
this is one of the only happy parts in the whole letter. i love how it shows how much jem and tessa care about kit, how much they have made him a part of their home, their family. they truly want only the best for him and love him so much, they want him to have all of the things he never had with johnny (+ we have further confirmation that kit can definitely see oscar wilde which is simply adorable).
I think about how much you like animals and how much they love you, because of course they do. But it’s too late; this dog passed away a long time ago. You probably couldn’t even see him. It’s too late for a lot of things, now.
it's giving "of course animals also love you, it's hard not to love you" and the way he says it with such ease… like loving ty is natural and not surprising at all bc it's just the way things are. but then he goes back to his toxic mindset that it's too late now, it's too late for that love to grow because they're not together anymore, it's too late to take back everything that happened between them.
I’m still mad at you, and I don’t feel good about that. Maybe if I could forget, I could forgive. But I can’t forget that night you brought Livvy back. I’ll suddenly remember even when I’m thinking about something else. I’ll be in the middle of helping Tessa in the garden and suddenly I’ll turn around and I’m back in Idris.
he doesn't like being angry, he wants to move on, but he can't because it's ty. maybe if it was anyone other than ty. but it's not. no matter how hard he tries, he can't forget everything that happened at the lake. even when he's doing normal ordinary things, it will hit him that he's not okay, even after all this time. kit is struggling to forgive but he's really trying.
I remember I told you I loved you. I remember I told you I would help you, but not if you raised Livvy from the dead. Not if you did necromancy. But you wanted that more than you wanted me.
the reason why it's so hard to forgive is because of all the memories which are still so fresh in his mind. he can remember every detail, he can remember the pain it caused him to open himself up like that and then be broken apart. he was truly honest with someone for once and took a chance only for it all to come crashing down, for it to be clear that ty never wanted any of that and he certainly never wanted him (what a bunch of bs, kit, c'mon bffr) :(
And I understand that. I’m not angry about that. Here’s what I’m angry about: when you brought Livvy back, you changed yourself. You made yourself a different person than the one I loved. I don’t know the person you are now. You took yourself away from me. I can’t forgive that.
the way he says he understands it has my throat tying up bc kit genuinely believes it - that ty could never love him. and more so, that he has good reason for it. nobody has ever loved him so why should ty be any different? kit isn't angry about not being loved (he's never been loved), it's that ty changed himself. ty became someone kit never thought he could be, someone he can’t recognise. all of kit's anger is directed towards ty and what he did to himself, it was never about kit's hurt feelings. kit knows hurt, he's dealt with it his whole life. his concern is ty.
And you made me someone who has to keep a secret I never wanted to keep. I was raised by someone who had so many awful secrets, and when I started my life as a Shadowhunter I wanted to do it openly, and honestly. But now I’m just someone else with secrets I can never tell. Just like my dad.
i think kit’s greatest fear is turning into johnny. turning into someone who has so little love to give, someone who lies and cheats their way through life, makes kit terrified that he could end up like johnny. (but i also really love the fact that johnny was brought up at all bc it shows kit still thinks about him and that his death did impact him. i can't wait to see more of what kit thinks about him in twp).
It makes me angry, so angry. I want to yell at you. I wish you were here so I could yell at you.
and still, despite his anger; despite him not being able to forgive; despite feeling betrayed; he still loves ty. he still wants ty by his side. he wants to tell him everything that he wrote on paper, he wants ty to hear his words and be angry at him. he just wants ty.
and the yelling bit… like michi said, i hope the mutual yelling at each other will end in an angry kiss ehem
Kit
oh how painful it is to sign a letter he will never send
#in conclusion i need fucking help#bc i did NOT just sit here for ages analysing a freaking letter#(and yet i did)#oh gosh im gonna need therapy after reading twp im afraid#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#kit x ty#kitty#seasons of shadowhunters#cassandra clare#the last king of faerie#the dark artifices#the wicked powers#tlkof#tda#twp#tsc
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pt.3 of my horror au! you can find pt.1 here and pt.2 here!
cw mild horror, fear
johnny opens his eyes
or- he thinks he does
it’s completely black, not a speck of light to be found anywhere; certainly not the lantern he’s started keeping on by his bed or the moonlight that should be coming through the curtains
he remembers falling asleep on the couch; he was exhausted after ripping out the fresh carpet from the sitting room, the pristine thing at odds with the smoke stained walls. it didn’t match any of the carpets or rugs in the rest of the house, too modern compared the vintage fittings and, new or not, that bothered him so it had to go
he just hadn’t been expecting the giant brown stain embedded in the hardwood underneath
he was turning over the pros and cons of buying a floor sander if he ever stopped foot off the property again, promising himself he was only resting his eyes for a moment, and before he knew it, he was out
now he doesn’t even know if he’s awake
“ghost?” johnny whispers. his voice echoes strangely; muted like he’s an in enclosed but long space and bouncing off things he can’t even hope to see
he has no idea where he is. he’s not in the basement, not with how dark it is; even the little cloudy window would be a wellspring of light compared to this. it smells damp too; musty with stillness, like not much air gets to it
johnny sets a hand in the soft dirt beneath him and sits up, some kind of cloth falling off his shoulders. he reaches out with shaking hands, searching for any kind of balance - a wall, furniture, something - and slowly gets to his feet
“ghost, you here?”
his fingers meet nothing but open air and he almost tips over. he has no equilibrium, nothing grounding him; the dark so all-consuming, he might as well have not moved at all
air dances over his cheek and he gasps and spins around when a large hand latches around his wrist and johnny hisses as he’s tugged blindly forward
“ghost?” he asks and the hand tightens
he doesn’t know what to do with the relief trying to warm his belly
“hey, slow- slow down, i can’t see,” he gasps, stumbling over the uneven ground. the whole thing bowed and curved, gravel flicking out into the depths with every step like it was carved out by hand and never smoothed out
johnny swallows hard and clutches at ghost’s arm with his other hand
“ghost, can… can we go back upstairs?” he whispers, futilely pulling at his sleeve. something old and animal in him claws at the inside of his skull, baying and screaming that he not raise his voice; to not break this unnatural still darkness too harshly. “please?”
ghost just leads him deeper into the void
until he suddenly stops and johnny covers his mouth to mute the beginnings of the scream ripping from his throat when he runs into his back. he digs his fingers into his cheek, forcing a slow breath through his nose
“…you want to show me something?” he guesses and flinches as the air in front of him rushes like ghost’s moving very quickly. something scratches, like rock on rock, and he flinches as he takes his other wrist and cups his hands around something big
ghost’s hands fall away and johnny reflexively clutches the thing to his chest
“don’t leave,” he begs. “please don’t leave me down here.”
silence
he runs his dry tongue over his lips. “ghost?”
those same hands close around his biceps and johnny all but melts into the body-warmth at his back. ghost smooths down his arms, covering his hands with his, and pulls the thing away from his chest to eye-level
like he expects johnny to be able to see it
the way he can
johnny frowns, rubbing over the thing with his thumb. it’s heavier than he expected from the sound it made along the ground; smoother than the rocks he’s seen around the property and the gravel he kicked around down here
ghost’s chin drops on his shoulder and he jumps, pausing as he rolls into his neck and he can clearly feel the wide grin on his face
he blinks and something makes him press back into him, to try and see him with his body. there’s a cleft in his top lip he’s never noticed before and he’s practically shaking, rocking against his back like he’s trying to urge him to go quicker
johnny spins the rock around in his hands, trying to feel what it is, what would make ghost so - almost childishly - excited. his fingers catch on a crater, shallow and smooth like it’s been carved away. he drags his fingers down and feels another, around the same size. his frown deepens and his fingers slow as he finds another hole, this one going straight into the rock
ghost shifts behind him, his grin widening against his skin and something in johnny curdles, his hair standing on end
it feels like he’s not breathing, the dark so complete it’s stealing the air from his very lungs as he works his fingers down the rock; stuttering when the texture suddenly changes. he hits a fissure, then another, another; curls his fingers underneath and feels it flatten out. strangely familiar grooves run along it before it changes and becomes thinner, becomes sharp-
johnny screams
johnny screams and drops the human skull ghost placed in his hands
he throws himself away from ghost and runs blindly into an earth wall. he scratches at the uneven surface, screams still ripping from his throat and feels wet heat on his fingers as his nails scrape and break. his voice cracks, almost shrieking when ghost’s arms suddenly wrap around his waist and pull him back into his chest
“let me out!” johnny screams, fighting his arms, trying to run but run where it’s too dark- “please, let me out, let me out, please!”
ghost’s body curls over his, effortlessly holding him in place as he wrenches in his grip and wails and /screams/. he presses his face into the side of his head and johnny strains to get away, to stop touching him, to run-
and falters when he feels the contours of his face
ghost isn’t smiling anymore
“please,” johnny sobs brokenly, his legs going out from under him. but ghost tightens his grip and doesn’t let him fall. “let me out… please, i wanna get out. please, please…”
he keeps begging, mindless and panicked and almost screams again when ghost tugs him back a step, his fingers digging into his clothes. he doesn’t want to touch the skull again, he doesn’t want ghost to leave him, he doesn’t want to be lost in the dark-
ghost’s giant hands grip under his thighs, pulling him up and he slings his legs around his waist, burying his face in his throat as he sobs
his weight tilts and johnny flinches as his back suddenly touches dirt, arching up into ghost’s body to get away from it- he doesn’t want to be underground anymore, he doesn’t want to be buried anymore-
ghost wraps an arm under his back, holding him tight to his body, and johnny shrinks even more at the scrape of dirt and brick against the outside of their shoulders as he crawls them through some kind of hole
his weight shifts again, falling into the cradle of ghost’s hips, and he sobs at the feeling of going up
the arm crawling them forward presses against his armpit and johnny cringes at the screech of metal on concrete as ghost shoves something out of the way, involuntarily peeking out behind him
and gasps in pure relief at the moonlight streaming through the basement window; the dim yet powerful light making his eyes ache after so long in such total darkness
he can’t bear to look away from it, even as his eyes twitch and squint, still clinging to ghost as he crawls them across the basement to the stairs. he gets to his feet, not even stumbling with johnny’s added weight, and he strains to keep looking out the window as he climbs up. only when they reach the top step does he wrench his eyes away, desperately searching for the nearest window
and ghost seems to know it; angling him to look out the dining room into the backyard as he carries him to the couch he fell asleep on
johnny keeps his fingers tangled in his hood as he sets him down, holding him close. he doesn’t even try to pull back and he feels him drop to kneel between his legs, compressing himself down the way a man of his size shouldn’t be able to
his breath stutters on an inhale and johnny forces himself to drag his eyes away from the light, to take his first real look at the source of all his terror; the ghost in his walls…
and he’s just a man
his hair has been hacked at, patches ripped out and uneven, too fine to dread but matted together all the same. thinner patches struggle to grow through shiny scar tissue; some blunt and wide, others looking like burns. but beneath the caked in dirt and years of grease… it might be blonde
his hoodie and jeans sit tight and loose in turn like they were bought for the build of a very different man, hiding dirty skin so pale he didn’t even know it was possible, almost /translucent/; veins bright and bulging beneath his skin like he’s never seen sunlight
and with the size and complexity of the cavern under the basement… maybe he hasn’t
but it’s his face johnny gets caught on
his light lashes do nothing to hide the fine scars dug around his eyes, like he scratched at them with his fingernails and after only his short time in the dark, he can guess why he did it. his pupils look permanently dilated, forcing away the deep brown of his irises; unblinking, desperate to take in as much light as possible. more scars cut through his skin, so old and light they almost blend in, difficult to see through the dirt staining his skin
but none of it, the scars, the filth, the uncanny wrongness…
none of it hides how beautiful he is
ghost slowly reaches up and johnny freezes as he brings his thumb to his cheek, wiping through the sticky tear tracks on his skin. it makes his sleeve fall back and his heart seizes at the thick, ragged band of scarring ringing his wrist
he swallows heavily as ghost brings it back to his mouth, sucking his tears from his skin. it splits the cleft in his upper lip wider, splaying over his thumb. ghost doesn’t look away and johnny’s heart beats loud in his ears as he reaches for his hand, tangling his fingers through his own, and lifts it to his mouth
his hand shakes as he gently runs his thumb over his bottom lip, catching on his chapped skin and the smaller scars splitting it, but ghost stops his hand; moving his thumb up to his top lip
the cleft matches up to a thick scar running up his cheek, just skirting his nose and almost meeting his eye and johnny’s violently reminded of the body’s worth of blood stained into the floor of the sitting room
“the sk-…” he falters, a shudder creeping up his spine as he remembers the feel of it in his hands. “the person downstairs; did they do this to you?”
ghost cocks his head and johnny’s thumb slips into his mouth, caressing his inner lip
“did… did they put you down there? in the dark?” he tries again
he sucks at his thumb, a gentle self-soothing pressure
“the couple who used to live here…” johnny breathes, slow with realisation. the couple who lived here for thirty years. the couple the realtor refused to tell him anything about…
“they were your parents.”
but she never said anything about a child
“your parents put you down there,” he repeats and feels sick with grief for a boy he’ll never know. “was… was it your mother?”
ghost rears up on his knees, crawling above him and caging him in against the couch and johnny gasps as he lets out an animalistic snarl in his face, spittle flying onto his cheek
“sorry, i’m sorry, it wasn’t her- it wasn’t her, i know she didn’t do it,” johnny rushes out, flattening himself against the couch and tries to pull his hand away when he presses into it even harder, his thumb pressed to his eye tooth
ghost pants, teeth still bared in a deranged snarl. his mouth twitches, lips slowly falling to cover his teeth. his tongue runs over his lips, gathering the spit from them and tickling the edges of his thumb
“y-your father…?” he tries and his breath catches as he nods
johnny slowly copies him, still pressed back into the couch
ghost’s eyes flicker up at him like he’s checking his reaction and keeps lapping at his thumb, long almost apologetic passes of his tongue as he works down to his palm. he leans in and johnny’s breath stutters as he laves his tongue up his cheek, cleaning up the spit. ghost lets out a low groan, nibbling along his cheekbone and goosebumps prickle his skin
he sinks back down, mouthing a trail down his throat and he shivers as he bites at his collar, tugging it away with his teeth to expose his collarbone
“ghost…” johnny sighs and he pauses
ghost noses at his sternum and sits back on his heels, nuzzling his forehead into his belly as he pulls something from the front pocket of his hoodie
something heavy tumbles out with it but he ignores it in favour of the bundle of cloth ghost pushes into his hands, wrapping his arms around his hips and sinking his chin into his thigh. johnny’s heart sinks as he gently unfolds it, careful of the unthreading edges and torn holes and has to bite his lip hard
it’s a ragged patchwork blanket; hardly big enough to cover a child. and hand embroidered onto it, in faded and dirtied gold thread is a single word
“simon,” he reads, tracing the once-loved letters
simon perks up in his lap, making a gurgling almost purr in the back of his throat; the closest thing to speech he’s heard from him in the month he’s lived here
“your name is simon,” johnny breathes
he thought he considered everything about how he ended up a prisoner in his own house; a serial killer toying with his food, a stalker he never noticed, a random psychopath chomping at the bit for his next victim and johnny was just unlucky enough to draw his attention
but if this is the only thing simon has left, his only proof of before… he’s been down there, left alone in the rotting dark, for decades
since he was a child
“i’m so sorry, simon,” johnny whispers thickly
but simon just frowns
like he’s never heard an apology in his life
johnny presses his eyes shut for a moment, just for a moment; to let himself feel the pain and the fear and the grief, then refolds the blanket just as tenderly as he opened it. he presses it into simon’s chest and his heart catches at the way he hugs it tight, dropping his chin to nuzzle into the fabric
he flinches as he takes his hand in his, jerking back, but johnny keeps hold of him; gently tangling their fingers together and rises to his feet
“come on,” he beckons, walking backwards towards the stairs
simon’s grip tightens around his blanket. but he follows him, up the stairs johnny sprinted down the morning after he first saw him, across the landing with the vents he counted and dreaded walking past, into his bedroom
where it all began
johnny pushes the door wider and riley pops his head up from his dog bed, tensing and about to jump up when he sees simon behind him
“back to sleep, riley-boy,” he soothes and riley droops and burrows straight back under his blanket, nosing it up over his face until only his ears stick out
he smiles and turns back to simon- but it drops when he sees how he’s frozen in the doorway; quick, wide eyes darting around the room. around the master bedroom, clutching his blanket to his chest like he’s afraid of it being stolen
“it’s okay, simon,” johnny promises, rounding him and takes his other hand in his. “he’s not here anymore; you can come in.”
he slowly steps backwards and with the gentlest tug on his hands, simon follows
but lets out an almost involuntary sounding hiss, squeezing his eyes shut and twisting away from the automatic lantern set up on his bedside table
johnny looks between them, at the warm light that’s been his beacon for the last few weeks, and the man he needed that safety from
he holds his breath
and flicks off the lantern
chills immediately creep up his spine; the encroaching shadows smothering him like waves and it’s only simon’s hand in his, the gleam of moonlight catching his eyes, that keeps him above water
johnny squeezes his hand and brings him to the bed, silently coaxing him under the covers. he’s stiff, holding himself so rigid it almost looks painful, and he leaves the covers around his waist, not wanting to make him feel restricted when he’s already so visually unsure
“just like you did for me,” he murmurs, remembering the scrap cloth of a blanket he woke under
simon’s most prized possession
his only possession
simon cocks his head, that same primitive yet studious look in his eyes as he watches him climb in next to him and tug the covers up to his shoulder. he looks at it then the side over his waist, and pulls it up until it covers him up to the neck
johnny can’t help the smile tugging at his lips and sinks deeper into the bed, the blanket riding up higher
until they match
“we’re safe here, simon,” he promises
simon’s wide brown eyes stare back at him and it’s all to easy to lose himself in them
💀🧼
when johnny wakes up, simon is gone; only a dirt-stained imprint of him left on the sheet and pillowcase
and his phone sitting innocently on the side table, beside the lit lantern
#how many times did little simon scream and beg to be let out of the dark? how long did cry out apologies?#how long did it take before he finally gave up?#simon cant speak. theres a lot of words he doesnt know. but he remembers every single word that came out of johnnys mouth#because they came out of his#this ended up so much longer than i intended it to be lmaoo#simon being so excited to show johnny the bones of his father; to show off how he killed him and can protect them both#just for johnny to be terrified and poor simon just doesnt understand#i need that spongbob WAIT!! meme where hes about to get crushed#i know this ends on a cliffhanger#however… i genuinely dont know if ill write more#and im sure about that this time!!#the moment in the basement was really the only other thing i wanted to write and if anything it would just be more of this#johnny slowly getting less and less scared and rehabilitating simon until he spends more time in the house than in the walls#simons always going to be fucked up#hes spent nearly 30 hears in a basement that cant get therapied away#and johnnys already unhealthily attached to him bc simon is so instinctual that hes just dedicated himself to him#and hes just messed up enough to like that#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghoap#soapghost#ghostsoap#john soap mactavish#soap call of duty#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#cod mw2#cod mwii
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d8199c39a448ac5e3e3a9fff517c2969/974d6fd123c0b854-ee/s640x960/5af6e585d259d7d742c2bbee96a782b81e6e503a.jpg)
OH MY GOD
COMEDY MASK GANGLE HAS BEEN SPOTTED
#MY!!! GIRL!!!!!#Other stuff happened to but MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!#I am so unbelievably excited tho#Especially for the (seemingly) more dark stuff#Also zooble is going to have a veryyy interesting time#They probably all need therapy but I feel like having Caine as your therapist would probably do more harm then good#TADC#The Amazing Digital Circus#The Amazing Digital Circus episode 3#TADC spoilers
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Carson Family Dinner—
Killian: I poisoned someone’s drink, but I forgot whose.
Asher: sighs Killian, for the love of God—
Reina: YOU DID WHAT?!
Gareth: With how this dinner is going, I almost hope it’s mine.
Kayden: shrugs and casually sips his drink
Gareth: panicking KAYDEN?!
Kayden: calmly If it’s mine, it’s mine.
Killian: grinning Now that’s the spirit! I might actually consider you family now.
#I can't decide if they need therapy#a reality show#or both. Probably both.#kiss the villain#nikolai sokolov#jeremy volkov#gareth carson#rina kent#kayden lockwood#killian carson#rinaverse#booklr#cecily knight#ashercarson#reinaellis#legacy of gods#god of wrath#god of fury#god of war#god of pain#glyndon king#mm books#book memes#booklover#lgbtq#dark romance#gay romance#fanfic#fandom#books
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Britney was so real for singing ‘that man's a snitch and unpredictable, he's got no conscience, he lies and bluffs and he's unreliable but ykw HE GOT MY NAME TATTOOED ON HIS ARM so it's okay. hehe🎀’
#we need therapy on a mass level lol#just girly things#girlblogging#aesthetic#thoughts#spilled ink#writers on tumblr#words#light academia#quotes#text#dark academia#life quotes#life#soft aesthetic#soft feminine#poets on tumblr#writers#writing#artists on tumblr#songs#lyrics#britney spears#desiblr#desi#relatable#memes#quoteoftheday#quote#mental health
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