#Danny commit to the bit Fenton

[unfortunatelyphoenix]

Since I noticed a couple Ghost Prince Danny things I decided to make my own, even if I don't know much about the series.

Vlad being the ever stupid fruitloop he is decided to try and steal Pariah's things again and woke him up again. Wanting a rematch he immediately stormed back to Amity Park, but before he dragged it back into the Infinite Realms for round 2 he overheard Danny talking to his friends about how he got summoned by the Justice League and through some hilarious misunderstandings on their part now think that Phantom is Pariah Dark's son and in turn the Ghost Prince.

Pariah, who surprisingly is ALSO a little shit at times (and is pretty much being called a little baby ghost's dad), immediately jumps at the idea of actually doing this hilarious prank and steals the group for sometime and manage to strike a deal that as long as he doesn't do anything horrible he won't be stuffed back into his coffin and they can do the bit. This ends up leading to Pariah Dark acting like Phantom's less than good of a person dad who actually starts to reform because he's too committed to the bit. This ends up leading to him, and everyone else, discovering he has surprisingly good parental instincts, having caused everyone to stop and look at him in confusion the first few (hundred) times he instinctively did a good parent thing.

Eventually though, something happens where Danny needs help but can't go to his friends or family, he can't go to the JL for help since he doesn't trust them and he's made it instinct to never go to Vlad, so he goes to the one ghost he does trust with this, Pariah Dark. It's at this point that Pariah realizes that it's no longer a bit and that he's become the closest thing Danny has to an actual parent, because let's be honest here, even if Jack and Maddie are good here they're still severely neglective of Danny and there's only so much Jazz can do while being 2-3 years older than him, and all the other ghosts who help him are more like mentors than actual parental figures.

Usually a ghost would have their parents to teach them if they're there as well, but Danny doesn't have good human parents and he died before they did, pretty much leaving him an orphaned baby, and no Justice League, JL Dark, or GIW will stop Pariah Dark from being the parent Danny desperately needs.

[rainpunk07]

hear me out, danny speaking russian (dc x dp hc)

so i was just watching a video about space, right? allegedly, turns out if you (an american) wanna board the international space station you must speak russian fluently since the only way to get there is by a russian shuttle and pilot (nasa apparently ended their own shuttle program way back when??) (don’t quote me on this)

so picture danny learning russian at a relatively young age for the sole hope of going to space and such, and it coming out every once in a while when he’s mumbling or something like that (it’s basically second nature to him)

so danny ends up at gotham for whatever reason (demon twins, reveal gone wrong, idc, they’re all cool) and he wants to start anew, so he pretends to only speak russian?? ig?? it’d make for some funny/interesting BatFam interactions i suppose

i don’t know where i was going with this but i want to read prompts of danny speaking russian

[methoughtsphantom]

Danny fake guardian angel au

You know how sometimes it’s highlighted how you have to be very careful on what you say in the presence of a spirit because they can twist your words and end up bidding yourself to it?? well uno-reverse-card the spirit also has to be careful on what he says because when Danny had said he owed the dude one for coming to his rescue in a gala Vlad had dragged him to, he didn’t expect that to be taken literally.

danny: wait seriously?? i literally say that all the time!

cw: not after being crowned ghost king, you haven’t

danny: but—but I was also human when I said it. doesn’t that protect me or smth

cw: *shakes his head*

danny:

danny: omg this is a nightmare

cue timmy’s brucequest period (cuz he’s the guy) being so high strung and tired, he just wants some company, which is a so low stakes thing to want the deal Danny unintentionally goes sure we can do that and pulls him towards the guy, despite Timmy never outright saying he wants company. (tim always speaks in the sanctity of his own mind, not out loud)

So. random spirit manifesting. Tim going all who the fuck are u

and Danny panicking and saying your guardian angel

Tim not being impressed while Danny promptly blushes like a moron because that did not come off as he wanted it to.

Yes accidental dead tired where the dynamic goes from Tim trying to shake this probably demon that somehow latched to him being all like ??? dude leave me alone, and Danny being there like bitch i’m trying

to

huh. im actually being protected by a spirit like he said he would. he’s strangely an idiot but also he’s overpowered and just never leaves my side which he says it’s an angel obligation but I think it’s bullshit but also hoping it’s not because it appeals to my crippling fear of abandonment (anyways he really seems to take after those little cartoon angels that poof into your shoulder to keep from me doing wrong decisions) translate into my future boyfriend seems increasingly appalled to what i am up to

meanwhile danny

Bitch you better thank your god I’m dead because otherwise I would already been killed. I did not sign up for a assassins what the fuck I thought you were a normal civilian not a literal superhero and omg that is a fruitloop. no no back off you wrinkly raisin this is my emotional support idiot you can’t have him and what do you mean you’re messing with time whatever this way I can get back to clockwork—

[garbagewith-a-cherryontop]

Do gothamites know about the Waynes’ weird cat? Like I feel like with the fact that people go to their house for Gala’s there’s a big chance of at the very least rich socialites running into Snitches. Idk how you picture Danny but I can imagine him just pranking random rich people at a Gala held at Wayne manor.

Like at first the Waynes try to keep him in a certain part of the house but they look away for a literal second and he’s just, gone. Meanwhile elsewhere in the manor some poor unfortunate, unprepared soul is having an Encounter with a capital E while looking for the bathroom.

'News About The Waynes' New Demon Cat' has definitely showed up in the headlines more than once, what with Steph regularly terrorizing the local Cat Lovers Community. Those that arn't busy questioning Vicki Vales' sanity either think it's all a very alaborate (and weirdly specific joke), or they full heartedly belive it. Gotham's already weird, a demon cat or two is to be excepted at this point.

Pets arn't allowed at Galas, so very few people have actually seen Snitches in person. Though not for a lack of trying on Dannys' part.

The first ever Gala hosted with Snitches in the manor ended with at least half the guests needing therapy. And Bruce had to bribe the press into blaming it all on fear toxin. (Scarecrow was very confused by the sudden spike in notoriety but he wasn't complaining.) Now there is at least one person keeping an eye on Snitches at all times whenever there's a sosial gathering. Not that it helps. All you have to do is blink and the damn thing vanishes.

Witnessing a Wayne jogging out of the room, holding a partly hairless cat, is almost expected at this point.

Whoever Danny decides to terrorize is mostly random. Tripping people, walking through solid objects with only one witness, eating off of plates while invisible. Anything that will make them look suspiciously at their drinks and than discreetly pour the rest out into a vase or potted plant.

Old creeps on the other hand... as well as young creeps, nosy reporters, assholes, or just anyone who acts/looks a bit too much like Vlad don't leave the Gala unscathed. Bit in the ankle, clawed in the face, tumbled down the stairs, saw something unspeakable in the bathroom that wasn't just their own bland reflection, the list goes on.

People don't go looking for the bathrooms anymore. And on more than one occasion has someone brought a priest as their plus one. Some have even tried handing Bruce the business cards/phone numbers of exorcists or others within the occult who can help. In fact, Steph has started collecting them! It's Snitches victory wall! :D

[hypewinter]

DP x DC prompts

Just a couple of ideas that have me by the choke hold right now

Danny is Jason's older brother who died and got reincarnated. After circumstances force him to Gotham, he finds out that his beloved little brother is now a crime lord

As all the others leave the league of assassins, Danny is left behind to be molded by Ra's Al Ghul. One day Ra's decides to unleash his prized assassin on Gotham

Danny moves to Gotham and starts helping out at a local pet shelter (mainly so cujo can make friends). It is there where he runs into one Damian Wayne who is setting off his must protect senses

Danny becomes a back door engineer. He fixes things for cheap no questions asked. No one can beat him when it comes to using whatever you have laying around to build something from scratch. That's why he's Red Hood's personal mechanic

Danny is a clone of Batman and Superman. Superman is grateful that he can finally do right by his clone. Conner is exceedingly jealous of Danny's treatment. Batman is contemplating taking his friend to court for custody. And Danny is just vibing because now he has two powerful dads who won't let the giw get their hands on him.

And the final one that is really rotating around in my head:

Danny is Batman's informant. He can get any info the bat needs in record time. Batman is the only one who knows about Danny and his abilities so whenever anyone else catches a glimpse of him, they think it's Bruce's secret love child. Damian is not happy about this.

[sarcasticslytherin-sassyserpent]

Harry Potter x DC x Danny Phantom prompt idea

Okay so I haven't seen Danny Phantom in years but I've gotten big into Danny Phantom x DC crossovers lately thanks to tiktok (r.i.p), anyways before that I'd gotten big into Harry Potter x DC crossovers. I've even written a couple myself on ao3.

Anyways, last night, I got this idea for a 3 way crossover with Harry, Jason, and Danny. Harry would be the Master of Death, and Danny would be the Ghost King. Both of them would, for some reason or another, end up in Gotham and come across Jason, whether when he's a civilian or as Red Hood would be up to you. Whether Danny and Harry met first and then become friends before Jason comes in, it's up to you, but I do like the idea.

Maybe they're roommates at university and then are dancing around the sexual tension between them or something when Jason or Red Hood appears, and both are sold instantly. They need to drag Jason in and make themselves a throuple. Bonus points for both Harry and Danny looking like unassuming small twinks while Jason is the absolute tank of a man utterly besotted with two guys who honestly look a bit like drowned wet rats or something compared to him.

Danny, of course, would be doing a degree with aerospace engineering or any other space related degree you want to give him. I'm not sure on Harry, but I also want to throw out like over half of the bullshit from the series. He'd actually be smart and, for one, not have taken divination. I personally prefer the fics where he's in runes and arthimancy too but especially runes. Honestly, come up with whatever degree you want but I'd have it where he'd also managed to get his muggle education along with Wizarding one, he could do that after the war and before coming to Gotham if you want.

Honestly, I just really want a Harry, Danny, and Jason fic of three fucking nerds in love and stressing out Bruce because what do you mean his other son has two boyfriends as well as both of them are fucking eldritch beings that scare John Constantine who does everything in his power to avoid the two. Bonus points if you have Tim, Kon, and Bernard decide that it has become some sort of game between the two throuples to cause Bruce so much stress and panic. Oh, even more bonus points if both Alfred and Damian are aware of the Wizarding world so Alfred ends up dotting a little extra on Harry while Damian tries to work out how Harry ended up with an idiot but at least it's not Tim.

Just an idea. If you happen to write it, tag me and let me know. I'd love to read it.

[starry-bi-sky]

Another Danyal Al Ghul art dump! Minor compared to other ones but I quite like these ones.

[frayazicat]

what if Triplets Dan, Danny, and Ellie?

like, people like to make at least Dan and Danny twins, but why not all three?? i never see that happen.

here's what i'm thinking. Reveal Gone Good, but Danny now has to tell his parents about the OTHER TWO biggest secrets he's kept from them; Dan and Ellie. he's a little hesitant cause this is not Phantom Planet compliant so they don't know about Vlad.

Dan's still in his thermos timeout thinking about what he's done and Ellie is...somewhere.

so, he tells them about his clone and his future self. this includes what Vlad has done to him. does it include who did this? maybe, i don't know. dealer's choice. anyways, the Fenton parents want to meet their new kids.

Team Phantom gets in touch with Ellie to get to FentonWorks as soon as possible while Danny introduces them to Dan.

it..might not go as planned, might end up fine, that's also dealer's choice. but! in the end, they somehow redeem Dan. Ellie arrives and the duo are welcomed into the family!

but, there are two problems now.

1) how do they explain away their new children?

and 2) Dan is full ghost (and adult-sized, i'm not sure the parents are old enough for a kid his age) and Ellie is an unstable clone - both half Vlad, and really not wanting to be half Vlad.

their solution to the second problem? make new bodies for them! they made two fully stable Halfa clone bodies from Danny, had Ellie and Dan fuse their cores inside these clones near the end of making them, and waited for them to pop out of the tubes at the same age as Danny! this might take some help from Clockwork and Danny to pull off without more melting clones..

anyways! now, they have three Halfa children. all they have to do at this point is find a way to explain the sudden appearance of TWO MORE KIDS!

their solution for THAT problem? hack into the database and change the medical files so it showed that THREE kids were birthed instead of one; Danail Jack, Daniel Jackson, and Dannielle Jacklyn Fenton. Dan, Danny, and Ellie.

but the parents take it SO MUCH FURTHER. they bribe the local schools and hospitals, they make fake receipts of things bought for them and fake records of government child support, and they even photoshop younger versions of Ellie and Dan into the family photos to make it legit. heck, they might have even gone back in time via Clockwork to add the birth certificates! they're THAT committed!

so, we got a new family of six gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing their way into legitimacy.

"What do you mean we only had two kids this entire time? Look at these records! Look at how similar they are to their triplet brother! The evidence says otherwise!"

"Listen, if you just play along and say nothing contrary to anybody who asks, we'll stop ghost hunting or driving for one month every time you do so. Sound good? We'll even put in some money to sweeten the deal."

"If we never had these children before, then why do we have memories of Dan viciously beating up Danny and Ellie's bullies at school?"

that sort of thing.

they're COMMITTED. it's INSANE. the town is going CRAZY.

where did these kids come from?? did we seriously forget about two teen kids for sixteen years??

(things go off the rails when Sam and Tucker get in on the action.)

now, i'm putting this under DCxDP, cause of just ONE little detail. Ellie's obsession involves moving, right?

well, what if the Fenton family becomes a wandering family of crime-fighters/mad scientists with an interest in the occult?

what if they get on the JL's radar because of one too many supernatural cases being solved by the Fentons in the JL's local cities?

they're at Gotham? suddenly, it feels as if the air is lighter and that it's not as drenched in evil and insanity as before. what did they do? fought the curses in the local Lazurus Pit like someone wrestling a pig in their mudpen.

they're in Metropolis? Lex woke up one day to find his entire stash of Kryptonite was missing with no trace. what did they do? the triplets broke in after sensing the gems and ate them like candy, their natural ghostliness shorting out the security feed as they do so.

they're in D.C.? all of the ghost relics in the local museums have been stolen with only a note saying, "Sorry for the disturbance! These were too dangerous for the living, so we put them somewhere safe! Don't worry! :)" left behind. what did they do? they took them and chucked them into the ghost portal where some allies on that side put them in safe places.

and that's all i got.

TL,DR; Fenton family goes full mad scientist in order to welcome Dan and Ellie into the family before packing up and wandering the states, effectively gaining the JL's attention with their suspicious and crazy appearances.

(i hope i didn't accidentally steal this idea from another. if i did, i'm sorry. feel free to smack me or something if that's the case.)

[garbagewith-a-cherryontop]

Wait in your opinion how would the battam reaction would be if Snitches is not a cat but something of uncanny valley monster you see in analog horror?

So sorry i haven't seen this before now! My ability to function took a hike and has yet to return. But to answer your question, albeit 20 years later:

I think they'd all be pretty apprehensive at first (except for Damain, the little shit), but after a few hundred failed attempts at getting rid of the damned thing (with no help from Damian whatsoever), they'd have gotten used to the constant feeling of forboding that follows the cat everywhere and just accepted their new "normal". They are gothamites after all.

Tim absolutely HATES the fact that the cat doesn't let him go more than 16 hours without sleeping and he is mourning the loss of several coffee mugs. But the cats speciel ability to get anyone into any situation DOES make for good blackmail material. He just wishes it would stop crawling out of his laptop screen whenever he hits the 16-hour mark.

Steph on the other hand, has learned to love her new partner in crime. Sending pictures of Snitches to unsuspecting cat lovers has become a favorite pastime of hers. Snitches is also helping Cass amp up the horror factor whenever she is sneaking up on someone. Either by staring directly into someones eyes for an extended period of time (literally, the clock goes slower) or screaming at a random corner unpromted.

Snitches makes for a pretty good cuddlebuddy as well, once Dick learns to ignore the feeling of tendons and bones that definently don't belong to a cat moving right under the cats skin even though Snitches is lying perfectly still.

Duke has taken to wearing sunglasses inside and never looking directly at the cat. The little guy is pretty alright once you ignore the horrors.

Jason has started showing up to family gatherings on time, because if he doesn't the cat hurls him through a portal. (Though sometimes it just does that anyway. Snitches has made it pretty clear he does not respect him.) The rest of the family has learned to abuse this and regularly invite him to things since he literally can't refuse. Although Snitches has started to bite him less, now that the pit has calmed down. Still though, getting your blood sucked out by a cat is not a fun experiance. The two keep a professional distance.

Bruce resently discovered that John Constantine (and any other magic user for that matter) is absolutly TERRIFIED of Snitches and has started using the cat as leverage in meetings with the JLD.

Damian is feeling very smug that Snitches got to stay (not that they had a choise). And although he won't ever admit it to anyone with opposable thumbs (unless they're a monkey or ape) he is really relieved that there is someone looking after his family when they are being stupid. Alfred can't be everywhere at once (ulike Snitches, who seems to have learned the art of duplication).

Danny thinks they're all morons (he is pointedly ignoring the hipocrisy) but watching Vlad get chased off the property was hilarious.

[bet-on-me-13]

The Summoner

So! Danny is not the Ghost King.

But he still has a good relationship with a LOT of Powerful and not-so-powerful Ghosts in the Zone. So much so that they have given him their Summoning Circle's with a blanket permission to Summon them any time. Not like they have much else going on...

This all leads to a hilarious situation where Danny can't use his Powers for whatever reason and is forced to Summon his friends for help. In front of a group of Heroes.

He has to explain everything to them, but accidentally convinces them that he has Summoning Magic and the Ghosts are all on his Contract. He also mentions Saving people from Ghosts and the JLA realize that he is a child Hero.

They ask him if he wants to join Young Justice, and Danny hesitantly agrees.

Now Danny is on Young Justice and the entire team thinks that he is a Hero with Ghost Summoning Magic.

And his name isn't Daniel "Commit to the Bit" Fenton for no reason.

[evilminji]

I just thought of something?

What if... Ghost King? Is Danny's JOB.

Like, full on, haunted house scare actor type job. Because? NO BODY Rules The Zone. That was the FUCKING POINT, Pariah.

That was WHY he had to go in nappy time. The ZONE? Has a strict Anarchy ruling system. So sayth [REDACTED] (probably God? But you are not authorized to hold this knowledge). But! Will that STOP crazy lil dudes from trying to control the infinte between?

NOPE!

And it's getting to be a PROBLEM. JLA Dark is running themselves ragged, playing whack-a-mole. Heck, Morningstar! Had to step in! He does NOT want to have to BABYSIT this! Then Pariah yoinks this lil town, BLASTING everyone with a fuck ton of undeath radiation, and? Like?

REALLY?! You couldn't wait for their coffee to brew?!

So they come with magical hazmat. And.... wait a minute. *teen hero spotted noises*

A child!

A COMMIT TO THE BIT, FENTON child! Reveal? With competent Superhero supervision to make sure it goes well? More likely then you think! Have some tutoring. Get your grades back up. Let's ward that portal.

.....wanna play Ghost King? We'll pay you.

(Deal. Ember can help with the dramatic musical entrance music. They can do outfits. Pyrotechnics. It'll be a group project!)

@the-witchhunter @hdgnj @babbling-babull

[orittsu]

Thread

The Viewers

Danny and Tucker move in together for college in Gotham

Tucker decided to make tiktoks just for fun, he could teach people about technology and help give tips.

He didn't realize that his viewers could see Danny in the background in some clips.

Danny being Danny was never caught doing something normal instead it was always something weird.

~

Tucker: "So you just switch this piece here-"

Danny in the background more than half his body in the fridge, the fridge is very noticeably growling

Tucker who is so used to it, it doesn't even register in his mind that it's not normal.

~

Tucker fan-boying about the new Wayne tech

His viewers looking behind him at Danny

Danny running around fighting his food which is also growling & flying

~

Tucker modifying his tech for the viewers

Danny's voice in the distance: "Bye Tuck, I need to go soup this guy real quick!"

Viewers: "Cannibalism?!"

~

Tucker: "Ah yes a very normal video!"

His viewers watching Danny:

~

Just an Idea

[garbagewith-a-cherryontop]

Thank you for answering my cat Danny ask about the battam having an analog horror of a cat

Now I thought something funny since my cat can be demanding every morning for something or two now imagine that their horror Eldritch cat refuses to listen unless Danny gets dressed in either a sweater or a bowtie collar ( space theme ) to start the day and it rotates who gets to dress the cat for the day

Thank you for the analog horror asks! If you're commiting to the bit, you gotta commit in style!

They found out about the cats Space Obsession™️ by accident. They were rotating between different pet costumes one halloween and someone got Snitches a space suit. It quickly became a problem when no-one could hold the cat down long enough to take it off.

Snitches ran around in it for days. Still eating off of their plates despite the helmet, much to their shared confusion and irritation. Someone eventually found out you could bribe him out of it with other space themed clothing. It's the first time they manage to get him in a collar.

Playing space themed dress-up with the family cat is now a valid excuse to leave work early.

[stars-obsession-pit]

Danny’s parents hear about him having some sort of other identity that he’s trying to keep a secret, so they approach him about it.

And he blurts out the first lie that pops into his head.

“I’m working on being a drag queen.”

And. Well. He ain’t called Danny “commit to the bit” Fenton for nothing.

[numinous-scribe]

Siblings by trial and choice

So @noir-renard posted a prompt in Haunting Heroes a little while ago that's had me in a perpetual choke hold ever since.

When the Portal ZAPS Danny, he doesn't just get turned into a half ghost; he gets catapulted halfway across the galaxy. So now he's stuck on an alien ship, trying to deal with new powers, and desperately searching for a way home.

And my immediate thought was "How can I make this about Starfire?", from which everything spiraled.

[Click the pictures for better quality!]

Having assumed that the portal wasn't even supposed to be functional, Danny had absolutely no basis for anything that was happening to him. Not his new look or powers, not for wherever he was, and certainly not for the predicament of where he landed-- A ship he would later come to know as belonging to the slavers known as the Gordanians.

For all Danny knew, he certainly wasn't human anymore, and he might not have even been in the same dimension either; while Earth had been seeing more and more interactions with aliens, he'd never seen any quiet like these, and his parents had said that the portal was designed to view a whole other world.

And that was terrifying! He was Danny Fenton, just fourteen, and so far out of his depth it wasn't even funny. If it weren't for Koriand'r then Danny didn't know how he would have kept it all together.

As it were, Kor'i had already been enslaved for four years by this point. She knew what it was like to suddenly be cut off from everything she'd ever known, and the torment that was awaiting this strange boy that had appeared in a flash of green light. So even though she had nothing to give, Kor'i stuck by Danny's side.

Together, for the next two years, they fed each other hope.

Naturally, returning to Earth was a big ordeal for Danny, and by proxy for Kor'i as well. Over the two years they spent enduring harsh labor and torture from both their Gordanian captors and the Psions, Danny had confided in all sorts of stories about his home world and vice versa Kor'i about Tamaran. After confirming that he hadn't been transported to another reality, and that this was his Earth, Danny had been so excited to return home and to introduce Kor'i to his friends and family.

But while Earth was still the same, home... was not.

His parents were in jail; not only for their unethical and code violating lab, but because they were so neglectful to the point that minors were able to get into the lab unsupervised and one of them— Danny —was able to access their faulty machine and, presumably, died.

Jazz got picked up by the state, but quickly managed to get herself emancipated and now lived in some other state attending college.

The Manson's moved. Sam was a wreck and not coping well at all; her parents were considering having her committed to an institution for a bit to help her last anyone had heard.

The Foley's couldn't afford to move, so Tucker had to carry on with life as well as he could. He's quiet now, not as verbose and shameless as before, more of a hermit than anything.

And since he's been presumed dead, and can't figure out how to disprove that, honestly, Danny doesn't know how to pick back up where he left off. He can't. Because everything, including him, has changed as well.

But, like she's always done since the moment they met, Kor'i was there for him. And now they have a new family in the Teen Titans as well.

Bonus:

Close ups of Phantom and Starfire. Danny's suit design is a mixture of some of his original concept art and @the-stove-is-on-fire's designs :)

[orittsu]

Thread

In every (most) fics. Danny figures out the batfams identities, via Jason and his being ead aftereffects or just figuring out, which is cool and all. But what if he didn't.

Like what if Danny got adopted by the Waynes and just didn't realize how weird they were and vigilante like they were, he was just obvious to it. Insane amounts of obviousness. It could go one of two ways. Him genuinely not realizing.

Danny: hey, you look a lot like someone i know *suspicious eye squint* Nightwing: Ehm, do I? most be some good-looking person, *nervous laughter* Danny: Hmmm *Shrugs* ah well, must a freaky coincidence. Nightwing: Ha, ha...Yeah...that's it. Or denial. Him not wanting to have any semblance of a normal life be destroyed to denies it desperately. Tim: Look Danny, there's something you gotta know *pulls out red robin suit for proof* Danny: Oh, cool cosplay! looks almost like the real thing. Tim: What? No, it's- Danny: *grabs Tim by the shirt* It's not the real thing because this is a totally normal family, right? This totally normal family who has no deep dark secrets, who has no portal to the afterlife in the basement, right? Tim: eh, right.