#Damian better fuck him up and win clean

[lifeatthebottomofthesea]

Tonight's RAW MVP is clearly Damian Priest. Baby girl laughed, trolled, was deeply messy, started AND finished some shit (clean!)

But really, it's Triple H and the creative team. Because last week when they were running the Priest and Gunther video packages, I literally said, out loud, I love Damian, but I don't care about this match and I don't know how you're gonna make me care.

Then Trips said bet, hold my beer. He showcased Damian being funny, charming, trolling and handsome, and when we were all giggled up and high on El Campión, he let Gunther TEAR INTO HIM. Then, unlike my bae Drew who would have enacted violence immediately, Damian held back (mostly). They let it simmer. And in the space of 90 minutes, I went from utter ambivalence to ready to throw hands.

Hats off, good sirs.

[confused-wanderer]

Alfred is badass and has unuasual skills even for a batfam member.

Inspired by pandaredd’s skit where Alfred says “Bond wishes he was me”

The man is the caretaker of the bat family, he has raised every damn member, and has seen more than his fair share of wars, doomsdays and worse. He is a butler. And god knows what else in the spare time. All I imagine is that if a teenage Bruce looks up at Alfred and whispers he wants to train, Alfred might be the one who gives him contacts.

Alfred:

Bruce:

Alfred: .. wait here master Bruce, I know you won’t even listen to what I’m saying so I will let you learn the arts. Only under one condition though, I choose your trainers

Teenage Bruce: Alfred, whom would you-

Alfred *already on the phone* : Hello there Lee

Teenage Bruce *wide eyes* *mouthing* : Rock Lee??

Alfred *scoffing* : what world do you think we live in! Be more realistic Master Bruce.

Bruce: .. so who is it?

Alfred: Bruce Lee.

The scariest thing about the butler is that he will take you apart in less than a blow, and he doesn’t even need weapons. He will however use them just for fun.He can still hear if Bruce or any of the batfamily sneaks around, he’s been the only one who somehow knew Cass was in the room and offered her snacks while she was hanging upside down from the ceiling in the pitch black and overall has better instincts to locate any of them in the mansion than a GPS tracking system.

When supervillains, nosy reporters or even crooks try to break into the Manor, the fact that no one installed a security system should’ve really been a warning point that the Waynes had other.. deadlier security.

By the time Jason comes home he sees Alfred cleaning up the carpet, but doesn’t miss the wrinkled edge of the sleeve. It is only then when he looks to the other room and the criminals are all sitting in time out, each a truly remarkable shade of blue, black purple and green he’s never seen in real life. And none of them were even bleeding.

Alfred also has insanely fast reflexes. And to everyone surprise, he is an bloody good shot. Green arrow was once testing out a new arrow and it accidentally whizzed past the target and almost hit the cat when out of nowhere Alfred caught it and snapped it with one hand. And then proceeded to borrow a pistol and shoot the target while walking to the other side of the room, not even sparing a glance at the bullseye he had hit. All the while holding a tray of glass bottles that hadn’t moved a single inch.

He’s given advice to Jason on how to make explosives out of everything and nothing, taught Dick how to cut a tree in half with one kick, showed Stephanie how to always win Russian Roulette, guided Damian on how to break bones without ever leaving traces, taught Tim how to mimic someone’s voice and be scarily accurate, and so much more. Once on live television the world saw Alfred eat three cookies and refuse to pass them to Bruce Wayne before saying “They’ve been poisoned” and throwing them away. A few people swear they heard him mouth “bloody amateurs” afterwards and he insisted he was fine, stating that he was already “used to it.”

Whatever the fuck that meant.

And that is why the bat cave is a safer option for batman’s enemies than the mansion. Because if you were caught by the butler, just know that god has already forsaken you.

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Jason knows

Before he died Dick didn't give him the time of day Nevermind when he came back.

He won't ever voice it how scared he was when Dick found him how years later he still wakes up tasting burning flesh and blood on his tongue.

How when he dragged himself home sobbing terrified his pants were damp. Fear was only half the reason he kept his mouth shut shame more so.

He learned though never went after Tim again.

He might consider Dick his brother but it's no secret how the hierarchy goes. Bruce hasn't decided shit for a long time Dick is the one who decides has favor. Who can sleep at the manor or who can hide under his wings. The only exception is Tim.

Jason might be more mad if he didn't regret what he had done if he didn't think he deserved the burns. 

When he found out Damian had went after the third Robin he expected the same another Robin taken down by the first.

Unlike he there wasn't a consequence issued but he saw the anger in Dicks face knew Damian was right along him with none of Dicks trust.

How Tim could do anything.

Breaks Dicks shit fights with Bruce drop out of fucking school hell even killed people. Dick just cleaned up the mess.

He's safe as long as he leaves Tim alone could do whatever and expect Nightwing to cover. As long as he doesn't touch the actual brother.

He wants to be mad maybe even green but he gets it. Knows his choice if it was between Tim or Dick.

The brother who threw him away or the one who sends cases and cleans up his mess.

The one who when he found out about the scar on his throat gave him contingencies. He loves Dick even the demon Brat most days but they aren't Tim.

"Really Dickhead cause I would trade you all in for a fucking penny"

Tim and Dick look he never was the best liar but only Tim knows.

Because unlike Dick he doesn't hide it and at the end of the day he knows where to put his money.

The better Detective. The better Robin.

If shit goes down he wants to win and who better than Tim Drake.

[to-the-stars8]

Learning to Love Slowly

Jason Todd x Reader All Chapters AO3

55- Circus Acts and Stitches

You clapped when Dick landed on his feet effortlessly, showing you that even though he was taken out of the circus there was no taking the circus out of him. Jason threw a sly comment across the Batcave about how his tricks were what tipped Tim off, and that, at the end of the day, would probably be the source of uncovering all their identities. Dick didn’t pay any attention to him, instead going back onto the uneven bars, while you turned back to Jason. 

He was sitting in the med bay with Bruce stitching up a cut he had gotten on his arm while sparring with Damian—Jason wasn’t ashamed of getting cut by his younger brother, and even complimented Damian’s growth after he had told him off. 

“How’s he doin’, Mr. Wayne,” You asked, getting up from your spot to wander over. 

Bruce chuckled, “He’ll live.” He turned to his youngest son who was sitting nearby cleaning his blade. “Any deeper, though, Damian, and you would have cut an artery. You need to be more careful when sparring.”

“You can’t blame me for his lack of speed,” The little boy said nonchalantly. “The bigger ones move slower.” 

“You better watch that fuckin' mouth—” Jason started to say before Bruce gave him a pointed look. 

You finally managed to reach Jason before he could get up to return the favor when Damian stuck his tongue out tauntingly, pressing a kiss to his temple to calm him. “Let’s see the damage.” 

Peering over, you could see a long cut on Jason’s arm that would no doubt turn into a scar, no matter how well Bruce could stitch up an arm. The sight made your stomach churn, but you made sure to not let Jason know by smiling up at him.

Your eyes then flickered over to Damian. It was a bit obvious to you that he felt bad about hurting his brother and that he was trying to cover up just how much he cared. Damian was sitting too close for someone who supposedly was proud of his win and his eyes kept looking at Jason’s arm with flashes of guilt, though his face was motionless as he kept his facade of indifference. 

“You got ‘em pretty good, Dami,” You said. 

Damian only nonchalantly said, “Yeah.”

Jason’s eyes looked to you before Damian. He tried to jokingly say, “When I brush up on my stealth, kid, watch your ass.” 

“Jay…” Bruce said, tone thick with a readied reprimand, as he finished up on his son's arm. 

When Jason was all wrapped up and looking as he did before sparring, Damian seemed to relax a little. You reached over and ruffled his hair, whispering that it was okay. All the while, Bruce told Jason the same tale of how to take care of his wound, it sounding more like another lecture than advice. 

“Fuck, it’s hot as hell down here,” He said suddenly, wanting to just stop his endless talking. “Wanna go for ice cream, babe?”

“I wanna go for ice cream,” Dick said as he swung upside-down from one of the bars.  

Jason opened his mouth before closing it again, taking a second to think about what he wanted to say before finally coming out with it. “As long as you’re not gonna do any circus acts, you can come.”

The amount of joy and surprise on Dick’s face told you that it must have been the first time in a while that Jason had willingly let him accompany him anywhere. When he turned to Damian and invited him, the look reflected Dick’s. Surprise, though with a hint of underlying suspicion that sparkled in his green eyes. 

Cooly, he responded, “You’re not planning on some sort of retaliation, hm? This has to be a trick.”

You looked up at Jason, “You better not be.”

“No! No. I just want some fucking ice cream, I swear on my own grave,” He said, mumbling an apology afterward to Bruce who grimaced. 

Damian finally relented, sliding off his chair after putting his sword to the side, though not without a threat that if it was a trick the cut would be worse than before. Jason looked to you for strength before thinning his lips to keep an insult from passing through them. That little boy had a thing for testing every nerve. It gave him pause for a moment, wondering if he had been the same way as Robin.

Dick, overjoyed, hopped off the bars with an extravagant flip. Clapping again, you went over to him to ask him about it, leaving Jason with Bruce and Damian. 

Jay sighed before looking down at his younger brother. “Damian, you don’t have to worry about hurting me. There are no hard feelings. If there were, I’d let you know. And, I...I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier, too. I’m too grown to be talking to you like that.”

Jason surprised himself with his apology and consolation toward his younger brother. It left him to wonder if what he had said to Damian was your influence or something he wished had been said to him when he was younger.

Damian was quiet for a moment, not sure how to respond before finally mumbling something about how he wasn’t worried about Jason being hurt and that his words had little effect on him. Still, his words must have had some effect since his little brother was now sticking around a little closer with more comfort. 

“Are you coming, too,” Jay asked Bruce. 

As quick as Catwoman’s whip, he turned around, “Me?” 

“I mean, who else? You should know that if you come you’re paying, so…” Jason looked down, expecting Bruce to decline with some poor excuse. Instead, the words that hit Jason’s ears sounded so different.

No, not different, he quickly decided, familiar. 

Bruce sounded like Dad again. “I think we can squeeze it into the budget. Let me get my keys and wallet.”

Jason nodded, watching his father walk away before looking over to see Dick attempting to get you to grab onto the uneven bars, to which he was threatened with no ice cream if he continued. Dick pulled away, mumbling about how his little brother was no fun, as you hopped away talking about how excited you were for ice cream. Damian was quick to show off his skills of flips and tricks, all of them Dick’s old moves, which impressed you immensely. 

Jason found himself liking the way you were immersing yourself into his family—better yet, into this life. You acted as if all of this was normal, taking it all with the love and acceptance you could muster. He realized that you were unintentionally reminding him that this life wasn’t always black and blue bruises with bloody cuts. It was family—love.  

[fadelion]

Things like that, that's the gateway!

Him putting Jason on to that Southern hip hop because he was dead for a lot of it and now Red Hood and Signal done been spotted beating the brakes off a bad pimp and speeding off in his Pimpmobile bumping Two Dope Boyz in a Cadillac.

Or when they've all decided to clean the Manor themselves as a nice surprise for Alfred to come back to after his vacation, and Steph wins the right to the AUX in a game of high stakes high rock paper scissors, so now the entire mansion is waking up to "MUSIC MAKE YOU LOSE CONTROL. MUSIC MAKE YOU LOSE CONTROL. LETS GO!!!" At 5AM. The whole first hour is just Missy Elliot songs to counter the mere two and a half hours of sleep everybody got.

Him and Izzy hitting duets off of the Acid Rap mixtape at the top of their lungs while Duke is riding his bike on patrol.

Duke put some variance on it, gave everybody both past and future. He put Damian on a couple Spillage Village hits and is getting kidnapped for an Earthgang pop-up show while Bruce playing Mowtown on his dates with Selina across town.

Duke was humming some Earth, Wind, and Fire with one of his rare night meetings with Jim Gordon and got the old detective feeling nostalgic.

He gave Luke Fox on to 1999 by Big K.R.I.T and Lloyd and told him "This one's for your after afterparty playlist."

And you just know he's spreading it around outside the Batfam too.

Duke blasting Back That Azz Up at the Justice League function just to see what happen and got Rocket looking for somewhere to put her drink and doing that black auntie high heeled hustle to the dance floor because her song just came on. Then he spin back by the DJ table to put on Get Low by Lil John and the Eastside Boyz and now everybody understands the assignment.

Martian Manhunter said he ain’t really get the sample like that because he don't know no better and now he got Steel, Black Lightning, Mr. Terrific, and Green Lantern John Stewart giving him the barbershop rundown hip hop history for the next four hours. Icon just shakes his head like he didn't get the exact same rundown back in Dakota when they all met Hardware.

Somebody accidentally started playing the Titans Playlist on the coms during a mission, and nobody knows how Knuck If You Buck got on there, but Connor Kent suddenly remembers that stealth is optional for this one and leads the Titans in clearing out a whole bunker full of goons.

Tim now typing out reports to A Tribe Called Quest lo-fi jams and Dick now understands why people miss the Old Kanye. Cass has heard the old hip hop jams, tracked down what a lot of them sampled, and now she's building up a vinyl collection. Duke done fucked up everybody's algorithms and is not apologizing.

Duke putting the batfam onto 90s and 2000s R&B

Like him bringing the seasoning to the Batfam’s music taste

Now you got Tim hacking whole overseas Government Agencies while humming Replay by Iyaz.

Red hood going 110 mph on his bike blasting Bust the Windows by Jasmine Sullivan.

Duke got Alfred cooking Sunday morning breakfast to Golden by Jill Scott (He’s ironically already a huge fan of neo soul?)

Bruce taking the long way home and listening to Ex Factor by Lauren Hill after an argument with Selina.

Just for him to be FLOORING it to Selina’s apartment to Faith Evans’s As Soon As I Get Home, to in fact, “make it up” to her a weekend later.

Duke has put on Bartender by T-Pain at a Wanye hosted gala at least once. Hired DJ was taking a bathroom break and Duke seen a opportunity.

Steph going around the Wayne manor talking about, “I remember when you laughed when I cut my perm off and you rated me a 6 😐💔..” to everyone for a straight week.

(And out of all the songs Duke tried to put Steph onto, It was Jeanelle Monaé’s Like That, that strangely stuck??)

Duke introduces Damian to Michael Jackson and now he’s having the canon MJ fixation all 2000’s kids had growing up.

Everyone’s spying on him from behind the stair railing (Bruce and Barb through surveillance storing this away for his graduation) while he plays the Michael Jackson Experience dance game in the living room. Duke couldn’t be prouder.

Human nature’s on loop at max volume he’s in the shower because it “relaxes his nerves” Not even Tim’s cruel enough to tell him MJ’s passed on years ago.

and EACH and EVERYTIME Duke catches them listening to something of his taste he MUST hit ‘em with the “AYE, NOW WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT 🤨??”

But his greatest influence would be on Cass

He has Cass wearing matching Soulja Boy fits with him to spirit week at school for 90’s day.

The two of them come down the staircase that morning. Boombox on Duke’s shoulder blaring Turn My Swag On for their grand entrance. Alfred does not approve.

And while Dick tests Duke’s ability to truly “Crank That” over breakfast.. Jason hovers over Cass.

Inspecting the ensemble of the polo, baggy jorts-that are basically pants-, and a sideways fitted cap all hanging off her. And upon the realization that it’s all his clothes; Jason’s frown becomes completely forced.

He also snorts a little after noting Cass’s unlaced shoes are actually Tim’s dunks with socks stuffed at toe box for a more comfortable fit. Tim who had already clocked that almost immediately on her way down the stairs doesn’t hide his amusement at this whole situation.

Bruce, hading already witnessed the giggling pair sneak into his closet the night before on the Manor’s surveillance. Watching Duke insist they “gotta be iced out” before picking a few very expensive pieces of jewelry to borrow. He sips his coffee without a word; their smiles are worth more.

Alfred draws the line at “bumping�� Pretty Boy Swag while in the car riding line at school drop off

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[anothertimdrakestan]

2 Times Jason Todd Took Your Breath Away (Jason Todd x Reader)

this is for the ppl who requested jason todd x super!reader fics!

words: 1.4k 

1.

“I thought we were city heroes, why the hell am I trekking through a forest?” you whisper-yelled into your comm, but Tim was having none of it. 

“You know as well as I do that we’ve gotta win this shit, best team remember?” you rolled your eyes, but agreed nonetheless. It was the once-every-three-years trip when the supers and bats were forced to go on a “family” trip. The term family is used quite loosely by the bats but your family was quick to coin it as the family trip even against Bruce’s disgust. 

“Um, I think I’ve got sight of a flag, oh- yup! Blue flag spotted let’s fuck ‘em up.” Kon came over the comm, you’d gotten paired with the love birds for capture the flag, but it was fine because your team was way overpowered, which meant when you won you’d get the pick of the night's dinner. The goal was to capture as many flags as possible without losing your own. 

“Okay, stealth mode get the flag, y/n head back to base, if there’s no one at blue it means they’re going for the rest of us which is a code 2 alarm, especially with Todd and Dami on the blue team.” you suppressed a laugh at the literal make-believe codes Tim had decided on for this game, for the bats this game held some sort of bragging rights, but for you Kon it was just a chance to stretch your legs. 

As Kon secured the blue flag you knew your team had won, Tim was at home base sitting on 2 other flags, and there was no shot anyone was getting past him. Strolling back through the woods you picked up on the light breathing on someone to your left. Whipping your head to the side you saw your own green flag waving in a pair of gloved hands. 

“What the fuck?” you paced up to the tree. “Little birdie forgot to watch their own nest!” Jason’s laughter bubbled up as he twirled the little green cloth on it’s wooden stick. 

“I- I wasn’t even at base? Isn’t Tim there?” you tried to play innocent, knowing if you got close enough you could snatch the flag and run. “Mhm he was, but he was too busy talking to Kon to notice me,” you inched closer, trying to look upset, “No fair! They’re always distracted.” you pouted, looking up at Jason who nodded in agreement. “So distracted,”

In what felt like a flash you were suddenly pinned to the ground, the air knocked clean out of your lungs. “GO GO GO!” Jason shouted; from your position flat on the ground you tilted your head to the side, watching Damian and Jon book it from your base towards theirs, a blue flag in Jon’s hands. 

“Brats!” you called after them. With a breathless sign you brought your head up, face to face with Jason. There were black lines on each of his cheeks, and his hair was pushed back by a makeshift blue cloth he’d clearly ripped from the collar of his shirt, as it was ragged and ribbed from where he’d ripped it apart.

His face was just an inch from yours, warm breath fluttering on your lips. “Always too distracted y/n” he whispered with a grin, eyes flitting down to your lips which were parted, gasping for air. 

You knew you could overpower him and stand up, his weight wasn’t fully crushing you, like he wanted to know if you’d stand up and leave.

You didn’t. There were far more fun things to do on the forest floor.

2.  

You used to be scared of heights. It was the dumbest thing too, a superhero with the ability to fly scared of falling? Your brothers had given you the most shit, especially when Jon was up in the clouds before you were flying above three story buildings. But you proved time and time again that you can be a damn good superhero and not fly like a plane- or whatever the old saying was. 

You’d gotten better, months of forcing yourself to jump off varying heights just to prove you could fly, sometimes even hitting the ground just to assert that you wouldn’t even go splat if you tried, but it wasn’t ever really rational was it? Most fears aren’t.

Jason knew too, you guys weren’t exactly “dating” more like just being friends that do whatever friends do, it was easier that way. You’d gotten into a rhythm of visiting Jason after the sun set in Metropolis, swiftly sailing through city streets once all the lights were off. That’s how you’d landed perched on a lower roof in Gotham, sharing milkshakes and trying to point out stars through the Gotham haze. 

“So this isn’t scary? We aren’t too high up?” Jason sat up, scooting forwards to dangle his feet off the ledge of the building. You sat up, letting your own feet hang, “not terrifying, there’s like butterflies in the stomach at the thought of falling, but I guess I know I’ve tested my ability to catch myself from here,” you explained, looking down at the sidewalk as your stomach did somersaults. 

“Well, okay. Look at that building, how high up could you got before it’s too much?” he pointed to a Gotham skyscraper. Taking a gulp you assessed its height, “right there, sixth story, god that’s only like halfway up.” you mused, shaking your head at the thought.

“Cool, let's go then.” Jason snatched your drink out of your hands and grappled towards the top story of the building with light-hearted laugh. Your first reaction was to stand up, starting after Jason as he grappled higher, and higher, and higher, focussing solely on the familiar frame of one of your closest friends, and- suddenly you were standing at the top of a Gotham skyscraper. 

“How the fuck am I up here right now,” you felt your knees buckling, your breath was staggered. Jason was at your side, letting you lean on him while he tilted your chin up to the sky. 

As you looked up you leaned more into his embrace, your head resting on his shoulder as you looked at the stars. 

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, unable to fathom how beautiful they looked up close, god you were so high up you felt like you could reach out and touch the stars. But it wasn’t scary, because you had your rock there to ground you. 

“There is so much more to see up here, so much beauty, why not fly a little higher?” Jason’s voice was deep and full, as you met his eyes you realized they’d been solely on you. With your face getting increasingly warm you let yourself hover just a little bit, trying to swallow the nerves as Jason took your hand, leading you to the very edge of the building. 

“I’ve gotcha, look I won’t let go, just go a little further.” Jason was smiling, taking both your hands in his as he spun you towards the air. Letting yourself float with his support you focused on his eyes, trying to breathe as you know the only thing beneath your feet was air. “You’re doing so good, I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, letting the silence of your achievement soak into your soul. 

You could feel your hands shaking in his, but you mustered your strength to look down, noticing just how far you were from the ground. 

“I’m doing it.” you said, almost astonished at your own feat. “No one ever doubted you except yourself.” Jason replied, letting go of one of your hands to twirl you in the air. With a giggle you allowed yourself to spin, it felt like power was soaking into you, you’d gone from feeling the air sucked out of you to truly breathing for what felt like the first time in your life. 

Confident with your power, you let go of his hand, steadying yourself with a grin. Jason’s hands covered his mouth as he let out a strangled noise of pride as you began to twirl around in the sky. 

Rushing up to him you crushed him in a hug, unable to show your gratitude. He hadn’t fully cured you, your hands were still shaking, but it felt so good to know you could fly as high as you wanted and there was always a person to turn to, a person to call home.

~

short n sweet! hope you enjoyed :) 

[pricetagofficial]

Twister Fun -D.G.

Warnings: Fluff, language, light hints of the sex

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader

A/N: I had this idea one night and ran with it. Hope you guys enjoy it!

It was game night once again, and everyone was the living room of the apartment you shared with Dick. By everyone, it was just the batkids. It was a weekly affair that you all gathered at someone’s place and played games. Since you and Dick were hosting, the two of you got to pick the games that were going to be played that night.

You had chosen a simple game, Phase 10, thinking that it would avoid any fights between you guys. That didn’t go to plan. By the sixth round, Tim and Cass were ahead on the sixth phase, Steph was right behind them with her and Damian tied for second. The rest of you were straggling behind in the first three phases as Jason was constantly yelling at Tim and Cass for cheating even though they weren’t. 

“Stop fucking cheating you two!” 

“We are not cheating you undead zombie!” 

“Take that back Replacement!” 

“Make me!” 

Needless to say, no one finished the game before cards were thrown across the room and you and Dick had to pry Tim out of Jason’s headlock. Thinking the worst was behind you, everyone agreed to play Dick’s choice.

That was until you noticed what it was that he picked.

“Alright (y/n), spin the wheel.” Dick said, his voice laced with laughter. You tried to turn your gaze to look at him, but with your current position it was quite hard. You had split up into teams of four and was currently playing a game of Twister, in the beginning the voice had told you that it was a bad idea and now with Dick’s body practically wrapped around yours on the mat, while Steph and Damian were a tangle of limbs underneath you, it had really sunk in how bad of an idea it was.

“I would love to spin it, if I could fucking reach it Grayson.” you snapped. Your arms were crisscrossed across your upper body as you held yourself up off the floor. Dick grew up in the circus, that was common knowledge but you did not have the same background. Sure you were flexible, but your body was meant for more mediocre things like yoga not twisting your body into weird positions like your boyfriend.

Dick let out a laugh and you watched as he flawlessly reached a hand to spin the wheel for you, “Don’t worry babe, I’ve got it.” he spun the wheel and you listened for him to call out what you were meant to do. 

“Right hand yellow.”

You let out a sigh, your hand was currently on the other side of mat on a red circle so it was a relief when you could get your arms in a better position as you twisted your body to fit with his, Steph’s and Damian’s.

Dick watched as your hand brushed his waist, making him bite his lip. Twister was never a hard game to play, but watching you bend into odd positions as your body pressed into his? He was worried that if you made a wrong move, he would lose it and collapse, falling on the three of you.

With your new found freedom, you were able to spin the wheel for Damian. The poor kid was under you, almost in a crab walking position. Of course, he had to stretch his hand further across the mat making himself shake a little. It was Stephanie’s turn, and she was sprawled on top of Damian and under Dick’s legs. She didn’t even get to spin the wheel before she collapsed and dragged Damian down with her. They hit the mat, both you and Dick managing to keep your balance.

Carefully, the two of them slid out from under you. Jason, Tim, Cass and Babs were currently winning because they had lasted the longest time. If you and Dick managed to make it a couple more turns, then you guys would win. Looking at Dick, you saw he was in something similar to a superhero pose with his feet spread across the mat and a hand behind his back and the other in front of him. You had a leg going under him, between his legs and the other next to his. Your hands were now positioned next to his and you were face to face.

You gave it a spun and looked at the wheel, and you grinned. “Right hand red, Big Bird.” 

Dick looked at the mat to see where he could possibly fit his hands. Carefully, he adjusted his weight so he could move the hand that was behind him and shifted it over to the closest red circle he could. Doing this, put his face right in front of yours.

He was so close, you could smell the toothpaste he used on his breath and his bright blue eyes were full of mischief. After knowing Dick for years, you could see that he was planning something but you were unsure to what it was. But would he try something with his family there?

His eyes glanced down to your lips and back to yours, oh yeah. Dick was totally planning something. You looked around for the wheel and you noticed that you had placed it behind you. 

Reaching to grab it, Dick stopped you. “Let me get it.” He reached over, his body practically leaning over yours as he grabbed the wheel. He was close enough that your lips would touch if either one of you spoke. 

You felt your heart rate pick up at his closeness, and your arms were trembling. Watching as Dick spun the wheel, your eyes widening at the color it landed on. Your right leg had to go to a blue circle, and the only way you were able to get it there was to slide it over from the green dot it rested on. 

“I don’t think this could get any worse.” you muttered under your breath. 

“But I thought you liked being this close to me?” Dick grinned, leaning over and pecking your lips softly.

Jason let out a groan, “Would you two stop flirting and play the game?” 

His outburst made you jump and you lost your balance and fell, causing Dick to fall on you with a groan. “Ow, next time do not let the acrobat pick a Twister or anything like it again.” 

Dick let out a laugh and got up, pulling you along with him. He wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you pressed into his side. The others got up, each of them grabbing a box of pizza.

“Same time next week?” Steph called, with Tim following her out the door. 

“Yeah, next week we’ll be at the manor.” You answered.

You and Dick waved goodbye to everyone as they left, feeling Dick’s grip tighten on your waist. “You alright sweetheart?”

“Yeah, you are just very distracting.” 

Dick leaned himself over you again, the mischievous glint in his eyes present once more. “I’m distracting? (Y/n), you were driving me crazy.” 

Before you could respond, Dick pressed you onto the mat and kissed you deeply. Your hands wound themselves into his dark hair as one of your legs hooked itself around his waist. The two of you were so tangled up, neither new where he began and you ended. 

His hands slid to your waist and slowly pushed the shirt you were wearing up your stomach, your back arching off the mat from the cold feeling of it on your bare skin. Dick’s lips trailed from yours, down to your pulse and placed soft kisses there causing a soft moan to slip from your lips.

“I-I think we should clean up the mess. But I would rather do something else.” You breathed. 

Dick chuckled against your throat, biting softly on the skin. “I know a great way to pass the time.” 

His hands gripped your thighs as he lifted you up from the ground, not removing his lips from your skin biting and sucking wherever he could reach. You moaned his name softly at the feeling, and the way you ached for him as he carried you to your shared bedroom. 

Setting you on the bed, you grabbed the edge of his shirt and threw it off him. “We should play Twister more often.” you grabbed his face and pulled him down to kiss you once more. 

[redhoodieone]

Destroyed by Each Other

A/N: Hi everyone! This fic isn’t new, but the link to this story isn’t working so I’m posting it again. Hope you enjoy it again!

Warning: Unprotected sex, Oral sex, birth control, condom talk, language, and happy ending!

 It’s happening so quick. Before I can even say a word, Jason’s head is already lowered down, and his mouth contacts my overly-sensitive pussy. He licks an agonizingly slow lick up my slit and to my clit. “Oh! Fuck!” I cry out. The touch of his tongue is wonderful. I can hear him smirk and repeat the same actions. But it’s torturing me more and more. I reach out to tug on his dark hair; and gain some stability because I know I’ll be falling apart soon. “Fuck Y/N...you taste so fucking good. I think I wanna stay here and eat you all day long,” Jason moans against me. The vibrations send heat throughout my body. He begins to suck my clit gently and then furiously. The long torturous circular licks around my clit has me whining beneath him. His patterns, techniques, and patience prove how much this means to him. How in the fucking world can Jason Todd be the master of eating pussy? I’ve never felt this way during oral sex. Maybe my ex-boyfriend’s never knew what to do and never took in consideration how to build me up, and instead just fuck me without giving me an orgasm first. Jason Todd is the perfect fucking gentleman. It’s like he knew what my body was dying for. He knew the sensitive spots and knew how to work me up instead of just ramming fingers and fists inside me. Jason moves away for a second to quickly kiss to my thigh. I whine and try to grip the tile beneath me. He returns to my clit and licks it slowly but runs his tongue faster now and looks up at me to see my face flushed and sweaty. My moans must be boosting his self-esteem. He chuckles when I try to move my hips against his mouth. I need more now!  

Jason becomes protective in a sense to hold me, but since he’s eating me out, he uses his hands to hold my legs down, but one hand continues to rub my thigh.

I’m gasping and whimpering pathetically, Jason has me under his spell. One of my hands is holding myself up in a sitting position, while the other is pulling Jason’s hair. My hips move against his mouth, I need more constant friction and touching.

A long finger enters me.

“Jason! Oh my God!” I pant, as he moves it inside and out of me. It’s not enough. “I need more! Please!”

Jason glances up at me. His mouth is wet from my arousal, but the shit-eating grin is there again. “What’s that doll? You want more than that? How about this instead?”

Another finger, and the curling motion to rub against that sensitive but perfect spot has me a moaning and gasping mess. My body feels like I’m on fire, and I’m only going to keep burning and burning until the last spark.

“Oh fuck, Y/N. You’re so fucking beautiful. I wanna see you cum so bad. I wanna taste your cum. And to think it’s all because of me would make it so fucking delicious,” Jason pants. His fingers continue working their magic inside me; stroking my g-spot, as his thumb rubs relentlessly against my clit.

It’s all too much. The overwhelming pleasure has me gasping for air, and tears are running down my reddish cheeks. I remove my hand from his hair and reach out to move him up to where I’m sitting.

Jason’s eyes are focused on me. The pupils are dilated to where the blueish, gray eyes are vanishing for a moment. His mouth is parted, and he’s breathing heavily too.

Instinct takes over. I grab Jason’s face to kiss him. The second our lips touch, an electric spark shoots from my toes and to my stomach. I can taste myself on him, which triggers another moan from me. Our tongues are battling for dominance, he wins as usual and licks and searches throughout my mouth until I’m whimpering for more.

And then I clench and unclench around his fingers; gushing all over his fingers as the dam has been broken. I break away from his mouth and scream, the searing pleasure has me gasping for air.

Jason quickly moves back down and licks up my juices. Moaning and savoring the taste he helped me make shows me what kind of man he really is.

It’s like Jason Todd takes pleasure in making girls cum that he might actually get off on just that.

He raises his head back up and licks around his lips. I stare at him and wonder what’s in those mischievous eyes.

“Holy fuck, doll. That was fucking hot, wasn’t it? And better yet, there’s still more.”

I shake my head no. I don’t think my pussy can handle more. The thought of more pleasure makes my thighs clench to shield my pussy. “No, I don’t think so, Jason. I-I don’t think I can do anything else.”

“Oh, come on baby girl. I need a release too! And since I made you cum, I think I deserve to cum as well, right?” Jason practically whines. He frees his thick cock from his boxers, and hastily parts my legs. He rubs the tip against my juices for lubricant. “And besides, I don’t think I’ll last much longer considering your orgasm was like foreplay for me. Just seeing you moaning and cumming on my fingers is enough to bring me on the edge. I don’t think this’ll be very long.”

With one more kiss from Jason, he thrusts himself into me; stretching me to the point where it hurt a bit but was pleasurable enough to want him more. He begins to thrust slowly and deeply, before my nails on his shoulders and chest scratch him to pick up the pace.

The sounds of skin on skin slapping is loud; I immediately wonder if Bruce and Dick can hear us. Dick must have already heard me during oral sex, and I wonder why if he’s still out there and listening to us.

It’s as if Jason knew I was thinking about Bruce and Dick. He snarls and slams his cock deeper and harder into me. I release a long overdue moan and scratch his back once more. He then lifts me up a bit, to the point where he’s holding me up and fucking me upwards to where he can hit that spot he knows so well.

“There...I-I found it...How many fuckers can say that when they’re fucking you, Y/N?” Jason pants, breathing heavily from his nose. He’s struggling to speak, but he wants to do much.

“N-not many!” I choke out. Jason’s cock is deliciously rubbing hard against the spot, and I know I’ll be coming undone any second.

“Good! Because this spot is MINE! Only I can find it and make you cum! You’re my cum queen now, Y/N!”

And Jason isn’t even quiet during sex; he’s very vocal. He often drops his head beside mine to groan loudly. Between our panting bodies, his hand slips down and rubs my clit hastily to get me to the edge where he’s waiting for release.

But Jason is still that guy who needs reassurance; who needs compliments because the guy has never been praised for much in his life.

“Oh Y/N. You’re so fucking good! You’re taking my cock so well in that beautiful pussy of yours. P-please tell me I’m good, too. P-please tell me I’m fucking you good, too,” Jason pleads, the look in his eyes breaks my heart.

“Y-you’re fucking me so good, Jason! You’re doing so good! I-I need more of your cock!” I shout uncontrollably.

Jason smiles sweetly. He kisses me harder which shows the confidence is back, and his thrusts are deeper, faster, and harder now.

I kiss him back harshly. Our lips must be red and chapped from sucking and biting each other’s moans. I bite his bottom lip once more, and I gasp into his mouth. My pussy clenches and unclenches around Jason’s, and my juices soak his cock.

“Fuck! Y/N! I’m fucking you so good! I’m gonna cum in you!” Jason groans loudly. His thrusts are getting sloppy.

“Jason, don’t cum in me! Pull out!” I warn him.

Jason thrusts a few more times, and then he shuts his eyes. His mouth is open, and he chokes back on his gasps. His orgasm must have been strong, and it takes a moment for him to open his eyes and breathe again.

He pulls his cock out, and he grimaced. “Oops.”

“J-Jason! Did you cum inside me?” I demand.

“Yeah...but you’re kinda ruining the sexy sex glow. It was hot, wasn’t it?” Jason breathes out.

“But you came inside me! Why? Why would you do that, Jason? It’s not exactly safe!”

“Yeah, but you’re on the pill, right?”

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter! It’s not a hundred percent effective! Oh my God! Do you do this with your other girlfriends?” I panic. Pushing him far away from me, I begin to get dressed, despite my legs shaking and my breathing uneven. I’ll have to tell Bruce. He’ll know what to do.

Jason quickly gets dressed and stops me from walking around him. “Look, I-I know what I did was stupid, but I don’t go around fucking girls without protection. I don’t trust any of them, and I’m obviously clean. So, you don’t have to worry about me giving you STD’s and shit,” he explains worriedly.

“I know you’re clean! I didn’t think you were a manwhore or anything. I just hope I don’t get pregnant because of one unprotected fucking!” I cry out.

“You let Bruce pull out. Isn’t pulling out just as dangerous as me cumming inside you?” Jason argues back.

I frown. I’m being a hypocrite. Jason’s right. Maybe I should be more careful and have better judgment. But truth be told, I don’t think I really regret anything.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just...well, you can go ahead and call me a whore too, but all I want is to have fun. I don’t want to settle down, have kids, and do the whole ‘family thing’ yet. After everything that has happened, I just...want to have fun and not worry. So, I guess in a way I’m only looking for sex and nothing serious right now,” I confess. I hope Jason goes easy on me and my confession.

Jason’s tall as fuck, he towers over me to where I must look up at him. He sighs, and then smiles at me.

“I get it. It doesn’t make you a whore unless you just fuck one person from now on. So, I guess you have to pick someone and just stick with them until you figure yourself out. The question is...” Jason says, before he tilts his head to the side. “Is it me?”

Before I can say anything, Tim and Damian come into the kitchen. The smell of sex is still strong and evident, and the paper towel with Bruce’s cum is still on the counter (which I believed I threw it away earlier, but I guess I never did). They raise their eyebrows at us, before Tim clears his throat.

“Wow, kitchen’s crowded. So, um...we’re going to leave now and see you guys soon,” Tim says anxiously before he turns away first to leave.

Damian raises an eyebrow at me. “Don’t even think Drake and I are next for your sexually active sessions, sister. If I had to support one of them for your sexual activities, choose the one man who really makes you feel special and worth it. But believe me when I say I’m just shocked and relieved you didn’t resort to male prostitution for your strong urges. Carry on then.”

With Damian gone, I exhale. Maybe it had been too long since I’ve been intimate and loved. And even though I’m not biologically related to anyone here, it just makes it more difficult to understand how I feel.

Never once has any guy here used me and thrown me to the side.

Never once has any guy here ignored me and abandoned me when I needed him the most.

Never once has any guy here made me feel unloved and alone.

I’m drowning in these thoughts when I barely notice Jason has been staring at me the whole time.

I wonder why he’s even staring at me. We just fucked, so shouldn’t he be off bragging about it to Bruce and Dick?

Because even now, I don’t know what he wants from me. I don’t even know what I want.

It’s as if he’s read my mind again. Jason wraps his arms around me and brings me into a bear hug I’ve seen and heard so much about. With a kiss on the forehead, he lowers his head to where our foreheads almost touch.

“Stop thinking so negative, Y/N. I really like you, and I’m not going to stop anytime soon.”

“We just had sex. So, shouldn’t we be done with each other?” I ask curiously.

Jason manages to look down at me. He frowns. “Why would we be done with each other? What we had was the most fucking hottest sex ever, and you don’t want me now?”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you. I just figured you wouldn’t want me now after you’ve had your taste and fun,” I defend myself.

Jason looks destroyed. Pained, heartbroken, and rejected. The natural glow of happiness in his smile and eyes are gone. He releases me and takes a step backwards away from me.

“So...that’s what this is all about. You think I would just use you for sex, Y/N? You think Bruce and Dick are better than me, and would want you after a good fucking? Bruce and Dick may be more emotionally stable than me and have their shit figured out but look who’s still here after the good fucking! I’m the only one here, doll!” Jason snaps. He raises his voice and his fists are clenched at his sides, but I know that he wouldn’t hurt me. “What do I have to do for you to believe in me and see that maybe I’m worth it, too?!”

“You made Dick leave,” I point out.

“If he was man enough, he would have taken me out of the kitchen instead of just leaving you here!”

I feel like total shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have said what I said. Maybe Jason has grown up since I’ve known him. “I-I’m sorry...Jason. I just...well, I can’t make excuses for what I’ve said and done, but maybe I have shit I have to work on, as well. I really need to work on self-esteem issues and having more faith in those I love. I guess I’m not exactly on Bruce and Dick’s level.”

Jason sighs, and then looks back down at me. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I guess we’re more alike than what we thought.”

“I guess so,” I agree.

“Let’s just...start over. Can we?” he asks softly. Looking at me with hope in his beautiful and strong eyes.

“I don’t think I can have any more sex today, Jason.”

He laughs hard. “I was thinking of maybe getting food or something, and then just sit and talk,” Jason suggests. “That sounds much better,” I accept excitedly. “But I should probably point out, I can’t exactly walk right now.” Jason smirks, and throws me over his shoulder. With one slap on my ass, he walks us to the front door. “Then that means I did my job well.”

“That you did!” I approve. “You’re one lucky girl, Y/N.” “You’re one lucky son of a bitch, Jason.” “I am, but just remember, Y/N: you’re mine from now on. No more fucking other guys.” “Same to you, Jaybird. I mean, other girls though.” I laugh and receive another spanking from Jason.

[1000roughdrafts]

Criminal

DeanxReader request from @rileynicole1967 based on the song Criminal by Britney Spears

A/N: I watched the music video to get an idea for how to go about this, so this fic is similar to that story line :) AND I HAVE A COMPUTER NOW, so I can finally post and write! <3

Warnings: mention of spousal abuse in the beginning, lots of fluff, eludes to sex, some swearing, violence, somewhat of an OOC Dean at the end, you’ll see why

Word Count:2.2k

Something people commonly say about a reason someone might stay with their abusers is that after the bad, the abuser will buy them flowers and jam them into a vase as empty as their apologies. But it's not always flowers. It's surprising them with lunch at their job, or taking them to dinner on a night they least expect, or they clean the house because they just know they've been working extra hard lately.

Y/N hid the bruises well under long sleeve shirts, hooded jackets, and she always wore pants. If eyes really are windows to the soul, how does one hide those kinds of injuries? Luckily these are more difficult to spot than marks on the skin, but sometimes someone will pop up who can read one's eyes like a book they've flipped through so many times the ink is smudged on the edges.

Y/N thanked her lucky stars that both happened in one night. Flowers came in the form of a trip to the bar she initially met Damian in, the man she spent six miserable yet wonderful years of her life with, and the latter came in the form of Dean Winchester.

In the back corner of the bar, at a table with a fake candle, she sat cradling a drink in her hands. Strings of lights hung on the walls and ceilings above five pool tables, four of which were occupied by loud, though respectful, groups of people. Damian droned on about something regarding work, a story he'd told about five times already, but she hadn't the spoons to bring that up.

She kept herself entertained by watching and listening to the people around her, noticing right away as two men walked through the door. The first man's eyes shot straight to the bar, his feet following suit. That's a man with a purpose, she thought. The other let his eyes scan the entire building along with the people in it before he'd even set foot inside. When his eyes ping ponged back to center, they landed on Y/N's, and in an instant, they read her story.

The man smiled, following the tall one to the bar. They ordered and sat to talk for a while, the man's eyes floating from the pool tables to the man in front of him and on occasion, her. She couldn't be sure what Damian was saying, but she was certain about the sneaky glances she shared with the mysterious man in the leather jacket.

"Dean," she heard the other say in an attempt to gain his attention. Dean, she thought, how fitting.

"Are you listening?" Damian hissed, waving a hand so close to her face she thought he might hit her.

Her eyes darted and narrowed at him, body jerking back. "Of course I am," she glared.

Dean's eyes burned like lasers into her until she returned the glance, his brows turned down in worry.

"Bullshit," Damian scoffed. His voice raised, "what did I just say then?"

She looked back to him, "something about work," she said and sighed.

He scooted the chair back, the metal scraping against the floor in a shriek. His shoulder tensed as he mildly shouted, "you know, I was fucking right about you. You have absolutely no respect whatsoever, do you? I oughta teach you a fucking lesson."

Dean, overhearing the conversation, shook his head and gulped down the last of his beer. He let the glass slam against the table on it's way down and when that wasn't enough to get that asshole to step back, he walked over to the vacant pool table, dramatically clearing his throat. He looked overa t her table, and then at the groups around him.

In a tone of authority he attracted the attention of the nearby groups, asking for one brave enough to take him in a bet. Sneaking a glance at her table, he hid his gaze by scratching his jaw as his head turned.

Damian distractedly looked over at the table, making eye contact with Dean before scoffing. Dean nodded at him with a smile, but Damian turned his attention towards Y/N. He relaxed his upper body, leaning his elbows on the table. Shaking his head, he muttered under his breath, "what a tool."

She masked her chuckle in a scoff, uttering a soft, "yeah."

He began talking about something unrelated, as if the last five minutes simply vanished into thin air, but she was just grateful the heat of his words were taken off of her. She looked over at the pool table, Dean's eyes already on her. His eyebrow raised in a question, and she flashed a quick, small smile in response.

He nodded, slipping the pool stick between his fingers to line up a shot. His eyes remained on hers as he bent down, aiming and missing. The group bellowed a laugh, and Dean's opponent lined up to make quite a few shots, ending the game with a sunken 8-ball. The men cheered, gaining the attention of Dean's main goal for an opponent, Damian.

"Ah, better luck next time," one of the men said to Dean through laughter, patting him on the back.

"Guess so," Dean smiled, looking at his feet.

Damian chuckled smugly, leaning forward to pull his wallet from his pocket. Y/N looked him over as he counted the wad. Stuffing the wallet back into his pocket, he gulped some of his beer, eyebrows hopping as he told her to "watch this", and set the drink down. She jumped a bit, gripping onto his wrist to pull him back into the chair.

She knew a hustler when she saw one. Damian didn’t like to be wrong, and he certainly didn’t like to lose. He ripped his arm away and leaned down.

His pitch was high and voice soft, as if he was talking to a toddler, “this is easy money, baby. Did you not see that guy just get his ass kicked?” he laughed again, licking his lips before looking over at Dean. Looking back at Y/N he spoke even quieter, winking, “drinks are on him tonight.”

“But,” she protested, but he was already halfway to Dean who stood chalking the tip of his pool stick.

“You up for a game?” he asked, "500."

“Oh, I don’t know,” Dean said, patting his wallet. “I just lost a good chunk of change, I-”

Y/N playfully rolled her eyes, resting her chin in her hand to watch the game.

“Tell you what,” Damian said, a tight, smug grin on his face, “you win, it’s double,” he shrugged, “I win, it’s just 300.”

Dean looked up at the ceiling for a split second, tilting his head while he contemplated the offer. His lips swished from side to side and then he smiled, “deal,” he said, holding out his hand.

-

By the time solids were wiped out and the 8 ball was left, Dean smiled at Y/N when Damian's back turned, slipping the pool stick between his fingers to line up a shot.

Eyes moving to Damian, he grinned, “8 ball, corner pocket,” then glanced over at Y/N. Damian just stood with his arms crossed. Dean kept his eyes on her as he bent down to aim and sunk the 8 ball.

He stood slowly, barely concealing his smile. Y/N felt a smile creep onto her face as well, dropping it when Damian threw the pool stick onto the table in a tantrum.

“This is bullshit,” he grunted, flipping around and marching over to Y/N. Stunned, Dean froze until Damian gripped her wrist, digging his nails into her skin as he yanked her so hard she nearly tripped over her own steps.

“Let’s get out of here,” he grumbled, taking his anger out on her wrist as he tugged.

“Hey!” Dean shouts, waving a hand as he shuffled sideways to get out from behind the pool table, “wait!”

Damian’s grip felt like a growing fire the more she tried to wriggle free. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Dean running up at them just as Damian whirled around.

He yanked her into him. "Stop fighting me,” he said through his teeth, bearing down on each word.

She loosened up, letting him keep his firm grip on her arm, but she was knocked back by Dean shoving Damian. He stood between them. Only surprised by the interaction, he charged at Dean, which only served as more of a pack to the punch Dean threw at him. He was knocked back with another punch, landing on the floor.

Dean shook out his fist, taking a few breaths before turning to face her. With his hand resting on her shoulder, he bowed his head to look into her eyes, “you okay?”

Shocked, she just nodded, her mouth agape as she looked at Damian. She looked back at Dean with next to no expression before running over and falling at Damian’s side.

Dean felt his insides squirm and weaken, like he’d just reached the end of a rollercoaster. He was sickened by the thought of how he treated her, and for her to just run to his side hurt him. But she surprised him when she reached into Damian’s pocket for his wallet, ripping out the 600 in bills before throwing the wallet onto his back. Dean chuckled a bit, but stowed it when she turned around to jog back to him.

"I believe he owes you this,” she shrugged, handing it over.

He laughed, looking down as he grabbed it. Stuffing it into his back pocket, he looked up at her, head tilted. “Dean,” he smiled, holding his hand out.

“Y/N,” she said, shaking his hand.

--

Dean rolled over, wrapping his arm around Y/N in the bed of his motel room. She flinched a bit, but hummed when she came to her senses. Smiling, she rotated to face him, tracing the outline of his tattoo with her fingers.

"Nice tat," she cooed, and he couldn't quite tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

"Thanks," he said, banking on sarcasm being the safest bet, "it's to keep me from being possessed by demons," he said with a lift of his eyebrows.

Her eyes bounced between his before she busted out in a laugh, "right," she played along. Her attention shifted, "and the gun is for?"

Confused, he glanced over to the nightstand, gun placed next to the clock.

He chuckled, "you don't want to know."

She pulled her head back a bit, but half of her lips turned into a smile, "mysterious," she laughed. "What are you, a drifter with a gun collection?"

"Something like that," he smiled, dipping his head to her neck, pecking small, soft kisses.

She'd never felt like she was the focus of another's attention until her time with Dean, and perhaps that was dangerous, but in the moment it was everything to her. He kissed her like he'd been kissing her for years, like he knew just how to get her going. She didn't want the night to come to an end, but with the sun bleeding through the curtains of his motel room, she knew she'd have to say goodbye soon.

"Are you a criminal?" she blurted out. In a laugh, she added, "I just can't take the suspense anymore."

He laughed, "in some states," with a small nod before rolling over to sit at the edge of the bed.

It was hard to keep up with him, to tell when he was being serious and when he was being sarcastic. She just smiled, sitting up to gather her clothes.

When dressed, she found a pen. Reaching for his arm, she rolled up the sleeve to his flannel, smiling before writing her name and phone number on his forearm.

"When you're in town next, or not too far away, call me."

---

Dean had never done this for anyone before, but something with this connection was different. It was like she saw him for what he really is under everything on the outside. They'd met up at least fifteen times since the first night, and he had yet to figure out what exactly drew him to her.

She knew exactly what she liked about him, though. The bad boy, criminal type that treated her like she should be treated, even if they were just hooking up. The kind with a soft side that bled from him in moments he least expected it to, moments where he was really trying to show just how ‘bad’ of a guy he is. 

"Let me come with you," she said in a rushed breath, gripping onto his arm before he could turn for the car, "whatever you do, I want to join. I don't have a life here," she relaxed her arms, letting her hand fall from his and back to her side. "Not anymore, at least," she said, softly shaking her head.

"Y/N, it's not safe," he said softly. Taking her with him meant confessing to all the lies he's told her, unraveling the truth about what he does; saving people, hunting things, the family business. He rolled his eyes at himself.

She gripped onto his arm again, "I'm serious, Dean," she said firmly, her eyes piercing into his, "please." 

Dean glanced at Sam, who gave him a look she could only translate to meaning ‘no’, but then it softened, and he looked at her. Dean just nodded, opening the door for her. Dean knew that she would learn soon enough why tagging along was a bad idea, and she’d leave when she knew what was good for her. He’d learn to never let anyone in the way he let her in, but until then he’d enjoy the company of anyone other than Sam. Y/N was just excited for a new adventure, whatever that may come with. Her mama would be disappointed, but all reason aside, she just loved the guy.

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[awhitehead17]

For the prompts: how about Jay taking care of Tim when he’s having a rough day?

Thank you for the prompt! So this turned out longer than I planned for it too and also a lot more angsty than expected but that’s balanced out with comfort and fluff! I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! :D

As he taps the pen rhythmically against a piece of paper, Jason stares at the laptop in front of him, trying to make sense on what he’s looking at. He’s got multiple police reports up on the screen as he tries to cross reference notes on a recent case he’s tied up in as the Red Hood.

While his reputation says otherwise, Jason does in fact do his homework on cases before he dives into beating the bad guys asses. He was raised by the world’s greatest detective after all.

A sudden bang snaps Jason out of his thoughts and he looks away from the computer with a frown. When a second bang sounds out, shortly after the first, Jason gets up to his feet in order to go and investigate the sounds which he thinks were coming from the hallway.

As he crosses the living room and gets closer to the hallway he hears someone mumbling underneath their breath. Whoever it is they were using many different swear words and curses and were very clearly pissed at something.

Bracing himself for the worst, Jason steps out into the hallway and freezes at the unexpected sight. Tim’s standing at the door, angrily swearing to himself as he roughly yanks off his tie and as he kicks off his shoes. He looks awful and if the angry vibe was anything to go by, he hasn’t had a great day either.

“Tim?” He speaks up getting the attention of his younger brother.

The kid instantly stops his stream of curses and snaps his head up, his eyes go wide as he spots Jason standing somewhat awkwardly in the doorway to the living room.

“Jason? What are you doing here?” His tone was sharp and if Jason didn’t know him better he would think that Tim is accusing him of something. But he does know Tim and he knows that the tone is the result of a long and exhausting day. Jason doesn’t take any offense but it does cause his concern to grow.

“I’m working on a case and this apartment is the closest to the base of operations – are you okay?” Jason starts explaining but gives up halfway through, he needs to know what’s going on with Tim. “What’s with all the swearing? That isn’t like you.”

A heavy silence falls between them and all Tim does is unsettlingly blinks at him. Before Jason could push for an answer Tim is huffing and throwing his bag down on the ground. As if that treatment wasn’t enough, he kicks the thing and pins Jason with a hard and furious look.

“You want to know what’s wrong Jason? Everything! That’s what! Everything is wrong and I’m just done with it.”

Jason only has a second to register the words before his brother is storming past him and further into the apartment. Currently unsure on what to do, Jason wordlessly follows Tim as they go through the living room and into the kitchen.

He stares as Tim unnecessarily slams cupboard doors shut and aggressively goes through the process of making a coffee. Jason’s surprised the mug doesn’t smash with how hard Tim slams it onto the counter.

This certainly wasn’t expected. He had been expecting Tim to turn up at some point during the evening, it’s his apartment after all, but he hadn’t been prepared for Tim to come home in a bad temper. It’s not often that Tim gets into bad moods like this. It takes a lot to rile up his usually level-headed brother so the fact that Tim is like this means that something major has happened which has placed him in this mood.

As far as he knows, no one has died so that’s not a reason behind the mood. Could it be work related? Tim’s in a suit meaning he’s been to the office that day so that’s a protentional explanation. It may be family related? Either Damian, Dick or Bruce may have pissed him off recently. Or perhaps it’s a mixture of things that have been building up over time and today just happens to be his final breaking point.

While Jason would like to know the reason behind this mood, he also knows that it’s not really his business and that he shouldn’t push the issue. What he does know is that he needs to make sure Tim stays safe and looks after himself. Jason needs to get him calmed down and maybe talk about what’s happened. Talking helps, or so he’s told. He’s never been one to listen to that advice himself but it may help Tim out.

“Why are you still here?”

Jason’s line of thoughts are broken when Tim snaps at him. His brother is now glaring at him while he leans against the counter with a mug of coffee in his hands. Jason feels himself bristle at Tim’s tone, he hasn’t done anything to deserve the snappiness. He knows he shouldn’t put up with the attitude but instead of retaliating he takes a deep breath and gets his emotions under control. Something has happened and Tim’s current way of coping with it is by lashing out and Jason just happens to be there.

Knowing that Tim isn’t likely to talk about whatever is up with him, Jason decides on a different approach. Ignoring the tension in the atmosphere, he wonders over to the fridge and starts browsing its contents.

“Have you eaten today? It’s about dinner time and I’m starving.” He says conversationally but isn’t expecting a response. He spots some cheese in the fridge and gets an idea. “How about pasta with a cheese sauce? Hopefully you have all of the ingredients needed.”

He grabs a few items and places them on the side and starts rummaging through the cupboards looking for the things needed. The entire time he ignores the death glare Tim is sending him from his place against the counter.

By the time Tim next speaks up, Jason had found everything he needed and has started to prep the ingredients.

“Jason, what the hell are you doing? What makes you think you have the right to come in here and prance around like you own the place!”

Telling himself to not fall for the bait, Jason hums to himself and continues with the prep. “Making dinner Timmy, what does it look like?”

A loud thump gets his attention and Jason peers over at Tim to find that he had slammed his mug down onto the side. Jason knows he’s pushing his luck but he’s hoping if he puts Tim’s stubbornness to the test his attitude will break and then Jason will be able to have a civil conversation with him. Call it tough love if you will.

His brother opens his mouth to say something else but Jason stops him from doing so. He places the knife down on the cutting board and stalks over to Tim, placing his hands on his shoulder’s Jason steers him out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

“While I get dinner ready, you go and have a shower and dress into some comfy clothes. I’ll have this ready by the time you’re finished.”

“Absolutely not! You can’t tell me what to do, this is fucking ridiculous. You’re-”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jason interrupts firmly, lowering his tone so Tim gets the message, “and the longer we stand here arguing about it the longer it’s going to complete dinner.”

Tim’s face scrunches up in obvious distaste. His lips pull back in a snarl and in an uncharacteristic action he shoves Jason backwards before storming away, screaming over his shoulder “I hate you!”

Jason takes another breath and reminds himself to not take it to heart, Tim doesn’t mean it. In the distance he hears another door slam shut and figures Tim must have gone to the bedroom or bathroom. With not a lot of other options Jason turns back to the kitchen, he has a pasta dish to finish after all.

----

“I’m sorry.”

Jason glances up from where he was placing two plates full of pasta on the table in the living room. He spots Tim standing in the doorway and Jason instantly notices the difference in his stance compared to earlier.

Tim’s shoulders were hunched over, he had his arms wrapped around himself, he’s looking everywhere but at Jason and his voice was quiet and sounded defeated. It’s like all of the fight has finally drained out of him, leaving him feeling exhausted and depleted. It’s not surprising because it’s exactly what Jason had been after, even if it does break his heart to see his brother look so withdrawn.

Instead of pointing it out, he gestures to the table. “Just in time, foods ready.”

Tim shakes his head. “Look Jason you don’t have to-”

Jason cuts him off. “I know I don’t have to but I want to. Now eat and then we can talk properly.”

Understanding that he isn’t going to win Tim trudges over to the table and slumps into a chair. They don’t converse while they eat but to fill the silence they put the TV on which makes good background noise.

Once they were finished Jason gathers up the dishes and takes them into the kitchen before heading back to the living room, he’ll clean them up later. Tim hadn’t moved in that short time so what Jason does is grab a chair and places it backwards in front of Tim. He sits down and leans his arms on the back of the chair and looks at his brother.

In a gentle tone he prods Tim carefully. “Have you calmed down now?” Tim mutely nods, still refusing to look at him. “Okay good. Now you don’t have to but would you like to talk about what all that attitude was about? What happened Tim, it isn’t like you to snap like that.”

He sees Tim visibly swallow and take a deep breath, clearly preparing himself to talk. Jason doesn’t push him, he patiently waits for Tim to open up himself.

“I’m sorry.” Tim says again. “I – it just. Jesus I don’t even know. It’s been a shitty day, a shitty week, and today I just snapped and then I took it out on you which you really didn’t deserve so I apologize for that and for what I said. I don’t hate you and you know you’re more than welcome at any of my apartments.”

Jason couldn’t help but frown as Tim rambles on explaining his week and the events leading up to the boiling point. He tells Jason it had gotten to the point where any little thing had begun to piss him off, even the sound of the coffee machine at work was annoying him.

Tim ends his explanation by burying his head in his arms on top of the table.

Sighing Jason stands up from the chair and steps towards Tim, wordlessly he pulls his brother up to his feet and gathers him into a tight hug. Tim doesn’t fight it, his arms immediately wrap around Jason and he buries his face into his chest. To his surprise Tim doesn’t cry but he does cling onto him like a lifeline, all Jason can do is hug him back just as tight.

Resting his cheek on top of Tim’s slightly damp hair he says, “You are not going on patrol tonight. You may be calmer than earlier but you’re still not in the right frame of mind to go out. Instead what we’re going to do is stick a film on and then do absolutely nothing. Tomorrow is a new day and things will be better. We can work out all the details leading up to this later on.”

It takes a moment but Tim nods his understanding into Jason’s chest. It proves Jason’s point that Tim needs the rest because he didn’t even try to protest against the idea. He squeezes Tim one more time before letting him go.

“Okay, now go choose a film while I clear the dishes then I’ll join you.”

Tim nods again but before Jason could leave the room his brother is speaking up. “Again Jason, thank you. I don’t know why you put up with that shit I gave you but I really appreciate you not lashing out and putting your foot down. So thank you, I’ll make it up to you.”

Jason snorts. “No thanks needed Timbers. You’ve done just as much, if not more, for me in the past. It’s time to live up to the big brother title.” That gets Tim to crack a smile. With that achieved Jason finally leaves the room, telling Tim a second time to choose a film.

He hopes he can help Tim further than what he’s done so that night. He hadn’t even known if his chosen method would work or not but he’s glad it somewhat has. He’ll have another talk with the kid in the morning when they’ve rested and had more time to reflect on what’s happened.

[danwhobrowses]

WWE Summerslam 2021 - Initial Reaction and Review

It's been a big week for wrestling in general, and now we have the Biggest Party of the Summer in the books, uncharacteristically airing on a Saturday.

It's been a while since I've run down a WWE PPV, time and apathy does have a bit to do with it, but since this is a big 4 and given what happened in Chicago there's definitely curiosity over how WWE would respond

Spoilers for Summerslam 2021 Below, I will be discussing the winners and moments so watch the PPV first

As usual I will indicate in the title who was the person I expected to win before the match started, but instead of Bold this time I'll put them in Italics with the whole match card being in bold

Kick-off

A long-ass kickoff was majority promo and interviews, not any contrarion drabble this time which was good. It was kinda sad to see Asuka on the packages but nowhere to be seen on the card.

I did like the sign guy of 'McAfee = Ratings' because he's kinda right, he has been great on commentary. I did not miss that dude in the Fiend Mask though, or the Lily Doll.

I will reiterate though that Sonya Deville is wasted right now, let her back in the goddamn ring, SD's Women's Division does need it and they make her look like a goof as Assistant GM.

Also apparently the Mysterios vs Usos aren't good enough for a promo package, not like it's a title match or anything... plus the disrespect still there, 'I wouldn't wanna work with my dad' they say like Rey isn't a multi time world champion with a huge wealth of experience.

The Miz and Morrison came in with a water truck to a mixed pop of cheers and boos, this moist gimmick ain't great but props for both guys being dedicated to it, it was short enough not to overstay its welcome too.

Ugh, Logan Paul is here...

Big E def. Baron Corbin (Pinfall via Big Ending) We had a new announcer from a Tiktok competition winner called Raine, and you know she was really good at it.

Corbin entered to boos hugging the MITB briefcase he stole, unable to afford entrance music it seems even though he's getting a PPV paycheck. To his credit he looks ultra disheveled, and when the ref had to pry the briefcase from him he looked super forlorn. I dunno why he's wrestling in a shirt though wouldn't that make it dirtier?

When the bell rings E does basically go right at Corbin, Corbin got a shoulder block in but then got caught in a belly to belly - despite protests - then a belly to backp. E missing the apron splash as Corbin senses a countout win, at 7 he leaves the ring to hit E against the ring post to try and eke out more time, demanding that the timekeeper keep the briefcase in his sights. E does return to the ring but his spear goes right is sidestepped into the ringpost, then thrown into them two more times, but only gets 2.

Corbin continues with some momentum with a sidewalk slam for 2, but his chokeslam is reversed into a rollup for 2 then a stretch muffler. He escapes and hits the Deep Six for 2, then 1.8, Corbin then stumbles to the briefcase, considering an exit before being hit with a lariat. E throws Corbin into the ring, but Corbin rolls right out, grabs the briefcase and tries to run around the ring only to be pounced into the barricade by Big E. The cat and mouse chase comes to an end, Corbin elbows E to get some room to roll to the other side of the ring but E catches him with that suicide spear he does, the briefcase is dropped and the straps are off: Big Ending for 3.

Shots of Logan Paul are hilariously met with huge boos as Big E finally reclaims his briefcase to a pop.

It was a nice little match, good palette cleanser and a nice and clean competition, Corbin had no chance in winning but it was a solid way to warm up the crowd for the main ppv.

Our final bit of the kick-off was discussing the UNI main event, though I feel like losing your job is a higher stake than winning your 17th world title. Also they had to force in the shucky ducky which was dumb.

Main Show

Raw Tag Team Championship: RK-Bro [Randy Orton & Riddle] def AJ Styles & Omos (c) [TITLE CHANGE] (Pinfall on Styles by Orton via RKO) Starting the night with some fun as Riddle comes out in a garish snake print outfit with a cerise pink lining, Orton didn't get the fashion memo thankfully but his hologram snake was cheesy. Riddle interacted with the crowd and had the multicoloured holo-doves while Orton mainly kept to himself. AJ and Omos came out together, though Omos had no theatrics, looking like a bouncer being invited to dinner still.

Orton and AJ started the match, Orton with the early advantage and tagging Riddle in for an assisted backflip for a 1 count, AJ rolls out the ring frustrated then tags in Omos, who just ragdolls Riddle; Shoulder Block, big clubbing blow then a delayed powerslam - an interesting glance over to Orton as well as they smile at each other, almost like Orton approved. Omos tries to deadlift Riddle with a wristlock but Riddle scrambles into a sleeper, but is flipped off then flattened in the corner. AJ tags in, platforming Omos for a Tornado DDT for 2, Riddle tries to fight out but runs into a backbreaker as AJ tells Orton 'you're next'.

During the rest hold, the crowd rallies Riddle back into the fight, AJ looks to have reclaimed an advantage and throws Riddle to his corner, but Riddle turns it into a dropkick on Omos, then dumps AJ out the ring. Riddle tries to tag Orton but AJ grabs him, enzugiri by Riddle allows Orton to make the hot tag. Clotheslines on AJ, a forearm to Omos - but it only stuns him, doesn't even fall to the floor, backdrop and another forearm to Omos that again fails to drop him. Clothesline to corner and a powerslam, this time Orton drops Omos out the ring by dropkicking the knees, draping DDT gets Orton feeling the RKO, but Omos drags AJ out the ring, then catches Riddle's dive to chokeslam him onto the apron. AJ stuns Orton with a jawbreaker on the ropes and gestures Omos to finish Riddle, but Riddle escapes the lawn dart and pushes Omos into the ring post. AJ though catches Riddle with his backflip reverse DDT on the outside, he misses the Phenomenal Forearm, but stands his ground against the RKO attempt, he rolls up for 2 and then lands into an RKO for 3.

It didn't last long but it was a fun opener, it was time for a title change and RK-Bro was a good choice. It's a shame Styles has to be the weak link but you can't be surprised that WWE continue to protect Omos.

Alexa Bliss (w/Lily) def. Eva Marie (w/ Doudrop) (Pinfall via DDT) The Lily hologram was fucking horrifying as Bliss carries the doll and puts it on the corner turnbuckle. Bliss weaves Eva effortlessly, she tries a waistlock but gets elbowed off. Eva gets a punch and a hair yank then...poses. She grabs Lily and starts slapping the doll, then slapping Alexa with the doll. Alexa then goes on the attack, clotheslines then a senton for 2, she puts Lily back as Eva argues with Doudrop. Alexa misses the Twisted Bliss and Eva gets 2 twice, a kick to the gut and a DDT finishes off Eva.

Post-match, Doudrop only looks smugly at Eva and grabs a microphone, announcing Eva as the loser, stealing her gown and walking away as Eva insists she made Doudrop.

This match didn't need to happen, in fact it could've just been a segment, but at least WWE were sensible in not having Eva Marie win against a former women's champion. They also didn't do any spooky shit and put the narrative mainly on Doudrop being free to hopefully be Piper Niven again, once again it didn't overstay its welcome.

Mario Lopez (who?) interviews RK-Bro on their title win, Orton cuts his normal promo but gets stumbled by trying to fit 'Bro' into his '3 most deadly letters in wrestling' catchphrase.

US Championship: Damian Priest def. Sheamus (c) [TITLE CHANGE] (Pinfall via Recknoning) Immediately after the interview Priest was already on the ramp, in blue gear with the USA and Puerto Rico flag on his tights, he did his archer pose to set off his tron. The Tron had a bit of an issue with Sheamus' opening, Sheamus wandered in with his face guard and coat. Sidebar, I still don't like the US Title design, it's better than the old one but not by much.

The two start by locking up, some solid chain wrestling shows that Sheamus has the power but Priest has the agility. After a pump kick, Priest hits a Falcon Arrow for 1, he has a bit of a nasty landing with his mid-rope flip senton out the ring, his heel clipped Sheamus' head but Priest's back had a hard landing on the floor, not easy to get distance when you step off the middle rope. Despite a flurry of kicks, Sheamus focuses on the back by throwing him into the ring post, belly to back and also an Irish Curse lead to a Camel Clutch, but Priest escapes that, Sheamus picks him up but Priest elbows out, so then he tries to powerbomb and Priest rana's out of that. Momentum is short though as Sheamus gets a powerslam for 2, a Dublin Smile and a Beats of the Bodhrán but he cuts the count short to slight the crowd's chant. His timewasting is punished by a Tornado DDT from Priest, they trade blows and a lariat floors Sheamus, a spinning leg lariat from the top rope only gets him 2.

Priest sets up the Reckoning, but is picked up for a rolling fireman's carry slam, Sheamus slowly climbs the turnbuckle, giving Priest time to look for a chokeslam, but Sheamus shimmies along the ropes and gets a massive rope-assisted jawbreaker, top turnbuckle clothesline and an Alabama Slam only gets 2. Sheamus angrily talks shit at Priest, Priest slaps him but Sheamus headbutts him back. He sets up the Brogue Kick but Priest gets the Big Boot and the South of Heaven, but it only gets 2. Priest tries the Reckoning but his back won't handle the weight, he tries a Disaster Kick but runs into a knee to the face, it's only a 2. After being furious with the ref Sheamus tries the Cloverleaf, but gets rolled up for 2, he catches Priest in a heel hook in the middle of the ring, with no ropes to reach, Priest reaches for the face guard, ripping it off of Sheamus. Madness in his eyes, Priest unloads on Sheamus' face, causing Sheamus to cover up and release the hold, a flapjack into the top turnbuckle stuns Sheamus for another spinning Leg Lariat and then a Recknoning for 3.

A nice technical match, had some creative spots in there and Priest winning was nice to see after the Miz/Morrison feud lasted forever. I do dislike that they said it was his first title 'in WWE' though, because he was NA Champion in NXT, which is still WWE Cole. I don't think I liked that the face guard is what undid Sheamus, the dude who likes to fight shouldn't really lose to insecurity. But third time's the charm with the Reckoning.

Afterwards we had a promo for NXT TakeOver. We got a backstage talk between Rey and Dom, Dom apologizing to Rey for the SD incident and Rey forgiving it immediately, noting to stay focused on the match right now.

SD Tag Championship: The Usos (c) def. The Mysterios (Pinfall on Rey by Jey via Splash) Immediately after the promo they left the curtain to their entrance, the yellow, white and pink was...a choice, kinda miss the comic book attires. The Usos came out with the Leis and their regular gear.

Rey and Jimmy started lightning quick, Rey setting up a 619 with a rana but Jimmy rolling out of the ring, eating a basement dropkick. Jey's intervening is stopped by Dom who drops him sluggishly into his brother before he's tagged in, Rey hits the baseball slide splash and Dom the crossbody. In the ring Dom's second crossbody gets 2, three amigos by Dom but he shifted Jimmy too close to Jey, who managed to tag a leg, meaning that Jey throws Dom off the turnbuckle when he tries a Frog Splash. Jey taunts Dom after hitting him into the ring post (who has had a lot of mileage already), gesturing him to try and tag his father before cinching a headlock, Dom tries to fight back but is thrown to the other corner, Jimmy is tagged in and they hit a Backbreaker/Ax Handle combo. Jimmy taunts Dom the same way, diving headbutt for 2, the Usos spend too much time taunting Dom in their corner as the younger Mysterio staggers the twins with elbows, his rush for his father is cut off by a very nonchalant uppercut by Jey (McAfee literally yelling HADOUKEN was amazing). Jey continues to posture after suplexes and more taunting, they look for the third suplex but Dom hooks his leg, reversing it into a twisting neckbeaker.

Rey gets the hot tag as Jey tags Jimmy, planting the Uso with a tornado DDT for 2. Seated Senton and a forearm to Jey on the Apron leads to Rey walking into a Superkick for 2. Both Usos stalk Rey, looking to do a pop-up Powerbomb, but Rey ranas Jimmy out the ring, Jey gets him with a superkick to the gut, then a superkick to counter Rey's springboard crossbody, he hits the Splash but it only gets 2. Jey looks frustrated and tags Jimmy to set up the double splash, but Dom cuts Jey off, he tries to suplex Jey onto the apron but Jey drops him with a front-facing suplex instead. The delay is sufficient though since Rey rolls away from Jimmy's splash, headscissors setup, 619 for a big pop, he goes for the Frog Splash but Jimmy gets the knees up. Superkick by Jimmy, tags in Jey, double Superkick, splash by Jey and 3.

*sigh* Can Rey stop being pinned? It's not like Dom doesn't know how to take a pin. It's, it's sucky really, I've said it enough times but Rey deserves more than this given his popularity and past title wins, WWE would not do this to the likes of Edge or Cena, Angle or Goldberg, hell they wouldn't even do this to Eddie and yet Rey gets this treatment as thanks for being full time. Granted, it took like 3 finishers to down him but come on, compare the light pop this match got when everyone knew the Usos were winning with the pop Rey's hot tag and his 619 got, he still has it and they won over the crowd, with more time and narrative to their match it could've been a classic. I'm just sick of seeing one of my faves lose so much you know, if the story is Dom's inexperience then surely he would be the reason for defeat, rather than Rey being ganged up on.

Tiffany Haddish (who??) interviews Priest on his title win, apparently Priest hates bullies and he's happy...not as cool as his NA title win in the hot tub though. Summerslam could've fit in a hot tub

Rick Boogs then shreds the guitar as he welcomes King Nakamura. McAfee is dancing like a goof again on the table and Nakamura's crown falls off, but he makes up for it by playing the IC title like a guitar with Pat. He's disappeared after the Belair/Sasha package though...kinda confusing why that was there.

SD Women's Championship: Bianca BelAir (c) vs Sasha Banks CANCELLED As Bianca enters with SD Women's Title prints on her gear, the announcer says that Sasha is unable to compete, so Carmella is fighting in her stead. A shame but obviously not intended.

Bianca BelAir (c) vs Carmella INTERRUPTED Props to McAfee for noting the collective disappointment. BelAir looks disappointed too and tells Carmella that she's gonna dish out her frustration on Carmella. The title is aloft but then

Becky Lynch is here

Cameras are not showing enough of her on her return as Bianca buzzes, the crowd is on their feet. Becky's got a thicker mane than I remember, maybe it's the curls, a new shirt of 'The Man's back in Vegas' is worn by Becky too as she soaks in her pop. When the cameras stop long enough to focus on Becky she is looking extra lean. She attacks Carmella and dumps her out of the ring, she tells Bianca she'll be right back and throws Carmella into the steps, before standing off with Bianca. She grabs a microphone and asks for a title match, BelAir mulls it, but eventually accepts.

Becky Lynch def. Bianca BelAir (c) [TITLE CHANGE] (Pinfall via Manhandle Slam) Both women are amped up, Lynch offers a handshake but the moment they touch, she socks Bianca, Manhandle Slam and 3. Becky celebrates as BelAir looks stunned and a little shafted, Becky does gesture no hard feelings but, BelAir does have hard feelings.

It's a big pop for Becky's return, though I would've rather seen you know, a match. I love Becky, she's been one of my favourite women's wrestlers in WWE before she was even The Man, and I am psyched she's back, but BelAir vs Becky could've been a good match. we didn't need the Carmella stuff either just have BelAir call an open challenge in Sasha's absence. Also as thin as the SD Women's Division was Becky probably would've fit more for the Raw Women's Title situation, since we last saw her vacating it and that shit's on heavy life support, plus I was kinda hoping that Bianca could beat Sasha but Sasha would win later down the line so we could build Liv Morgan for a title win, I guess October's draft could still open it up. But yeah, happy to see Becky back.

Wrestling Olympic Gold Medalists Tamyra Mensah-Stock and Gable Stevenson come out next, I know WWE have been hot on Gable but after the scripts' comments on Simone Biles it feels forced. Tamyra was at least happy to be here.

Extreme Rules promo is next.

Drew McIntyre def. Jinder Mahal (Pinfall via Claymore) Jinder comes out first, Veer and Shanky only able to stand at the ramp and go to the back. Drew comes with his sword to summon...smoke? You can see how dull that sword is too.

Drew starts the match strong by throwing Jinder in the corner, kicks and chops followed by throws, he motions for Claymore but Jinder rolls out the ring, cutting him at the legs. Jinder's attempt to regain momentum is countered with a belly to belly, so next he tries to appeal to their past friendship but Drew isn't having it. He tries the Futureshock but Jinder kicks him in the face, stunning him for 2. Knee drops and knee chokes are followed by clubs to Drew's head and a choke, but Drew powers out and hits a Glasgow Kiss (which they called a Glaz-gao kiss, it's not that hard to say Glasgow), some more Belly to Bellies leads to a Futureshock and a kip up, 3, 2, 1, Claymore, 1, 2, 3.

McIntyre stepped over Jinder as he celebrated, Veer and Shanky tended to Jinder and then Drew grabbed his sword and started swinging...like the face he is trying to murder these dudes for tending to their boss.

Okay. Easy pop having squashed Jinder, did this need to be on PPV? Probably not, this and Bliss/Eva could've been done on Raw, rather than steal time from Usos/Mysterios and a potential Becky/BelAir banger. Nobody really got over or elevated with this.

Raw Women's Championship: Charlotte Flair def. Nikki A.S.H. (c) and Rhea Ripley [TITLE CHANGE] (Submission on Nikki by Charlotte via Figure Eight) Uncharacteristically, Nikki came out first to nothing, not a pop or a boo, it kinda sounded like fake crowd noises when we had one pop. Rhea got a mini pop next, but loud woos for Charlotte? Don't buy that especially given how she's meant to be the heel. She's in kinda Thanos gear too. The pops were louder for Rhea when her name was announced, Nikki's was mixed and Charlotte had some boos.

The bell rings as Charlotte shoves Nikki, telling her to get out the ring. Rhea shoves Charlotte but Nikki dumps Rhea out the ring, a Monkey Flip to Charlotte then a Rollup on Rhea for 1. Charlotte dumps Rhea as the two tussle, Nikki coming back to boot Charlotte off the apron as part of a bulldog on Rhea. Rhea keeps trying to keep a hold of Nikki but Nikki keeps rolling her up. Charlotte throws Nikki into Rhea like a spear then lariats Rhea and exploder's Nikki. Rhea and Charlotte trade advantages around the turnbuckle, Charlotte fights off a Nikki crossbody and powerslams Nikki onto Rhea, she tries the moonsault but Rhea gets her feet up, Nikki rolls her up but Rhea pulls her off, tries the Riptide but Nikki shifts her weight to splash her. Nikki headscissors Charlotte but is booted by Rhea, Charlotte then boots Rhea and taunts her, Rhea then starts finding energy, a Northern Lights for 1 but Charlotte then regains momentum, a huge big boot to dump Rhea out the ring, but Nikki then tornado DDTs Charlotte for 2. Basement Dropkick to Rhea gives Charlotte time to catch Nikki but Rhea german's them both, Missile Dropkick to Charlotte by Rhea only gets 2 as Charlotte flees to the outside. The two trade blows on the outside, to be flattened by Nikki's crossbody.

Pulling Charlotte in the ring, Charlotte resists the suplex, but Rhea comes in to double up on Charlotte, only for Charlotte to reverse it to a double DDT, Flair chops are suppressed but Charlotte still manages to fend off Nikki and Rhea, Corkscrew Moonsault on the outside takes the two out. She drags Rhea in but Rhea gets a boot, Nikki tries to roll up Rhea but only gets 2. Rhea's limping a bit but still kicks Nikki and cinches in her Inverted Cloverleaf, she dodges the Big Boot from Charlotte (perhaps inadvertently) and locks it into Charlotte, but she rolls through and gets the Figure 8, which is broken by Nikki's knee drop. Nikki hits a Purge but it's broken up by Rhea, she sets another Riptide but again Nikki counters this time with a Reverse Tornado DDT, dumping Rhea out the ring. Nikki sees Charlotte prone, setting up the Crossbody, but she misses, Charlotte locks the Figure 8 and taps.

Abrupt finish, it was a really well-worked match selling the chaos of the triple threat. But I never felt like Charlotte was in danger of losing, Nikki wasn't working because they rushed her new character without getting her over, so of course WWE were gonna fall back to ye olde Charlotte title win. The narrative didn't help either, she seemed like the babyface and again, didn't feel threatened, I never saw the opening for Charlotte to lose. In a vacuum it was a good match, as a whole though, since Rhea won the title at mania nobody's gotten over, they made an absolute hash of the Charlotte feud to the point where we didn't even feel invested in Rhea getting a win back, then we fast tracked a cash in. The only one who profited here was Charlotte, who got to add 2 more title reigns to her name on paper, had Becky came here to make it a 4-Way and won, it'd probably have been more hopeful because now, who is next? Asuka's AWOL, Shayna's buried, Alexa's on spooky shits, Rhea's broken, Nikki isn't getting over, who can Charlotte face at this point?

Edge def. Seth Rollins (Submission via Crossface) Dressed like some aristocrat, Seth entered first half smug half focused, it may've dragged on a bit long. Edge didn't come out to Metalingus, but instead he came out in the fires of the Brood, with the dark sunglasses, fire and the elevated platform to boot, but then Metalingus came out to give the people what they want.

The bell rings but there's a long pause to soak in the crowd investment. Edge has the early advantage with a swift punch, every time Seth tries to lock in on Edge he hits back, annoying Seth as he mulls outside the ring. He tries the Pedigree but is again dumped out the ring, this time Edge follows and throws him around the barriaces, Rollins returns to the ring but is knee'd out, but gets some advantage by dodging the Baseball Slide and driving Edge into ye olde Ring Post, then against the steps. Neckbreaker only gets 2 as he continues to focus on the neck with chokes, stomps and slingblades, another neckbreaker leads to another 2 as Seth taunts Edge about it.

A diving knee by Rollins gets 2 as Seth kicks around Edge, he tries another neckbreaker but Edge reverses into a backslide for 2, Flapjack and a tackle into the turnbuckle, Seth fends off Edge at the turnbuckle though and hits the Frog Splash for 2 but for the second time Edge rolls into the corner to avoid the stomp. Rollins pulls Edge to the turnbuckle, but Edge hits him with a top turnbuckle spinning neckbreaker, Flapjack onto the top rope, Edgecution for 2, Rollins stuns Edge by driving him into the Turnbuckle, but he misses his knee strike into an Head Yank for 2. Edge goes up top but Rollins turns it into his Superplex/Falcon Arrow combo for 2, he sets up the Stomp but misses, tries the Pedigree but Edge wriggles out, Glam Slam by Edge for 2, nice homage for Beth there. Seth gets back the momentum though, Jawbreaker on the ropes then a neckbreaker on the ropes, Edge dodges the stomp on the apron though and throws Seth into the ring post (not ye olde ringpost though it's a different one) and then a spear through the ropes into the outside. A bulldog into the apron LED only gets 2, but now Edge is setting up the spear, but Rollins counters into a Pedigree (Pat mustn't have watched Roman vs Seth before because he said he has never seen that counter) but it only gets 2.

Rollins climbs up top looking for the Phoenix Splash, he lands on his feet and rolls away but walks into a spear, 1, 2, No. Edge now looking for the Killswitch but Rollins clubs then kicks Edge in the back of the head, he tries the Stomp but Edge rolls and catches the boot, turning it into an Edgecator, Seth reaches for the ropes so Edge tries to pull him back, but in releasing the hold he gets rolled up for 2. Edge then tries the Crossface, rolling to the center of the ring, but Edge slams his head into the mat and reapplies it for the tapout.

A nicely worked match again that managed to showcase a lot of Edge's past bag of tricks. The second I was wrong about too, I expected Seth to get some momentum to try and challenge Roman like he had been teasing before this feud (on that note, where's Cesaro? Miss that dude), but it was definitely something for the fans to cheer about. The narrative of avoiding the Stomp was also good for the storytelling, Seth doesn't lose anything in defeat either, he's took 2 spears, 2 crossfaces, Edgecator and the Edgecution.

MITB 22 is announced on 4th July at the Allegiant Stadium, Vegas (the same venue as tonight). Expect there to be a Murica match in there. In addition attendance today is 51k. We scope back around to Miz and Morrison's kickoff thing, mostly getting a jobber entrance. The moist jokes were worst this time around as they marketed the 'Drip Stick 2000' which neither had. Who did have it? A very wet and long-haired Xavier Woods with a cocktail stick in their mouth and a 'New Day Order' shirt. Woods convinces the crowd to rally into shooting them with a water gun, though it didn't really get a pop in the act, dumb shit really but whatever Woods' new look is I dig it.

WWE Championship: Bobby Lashley (w/MVP) (c) def. Goldberg (via Ref Stoppage) Lashers out first...no sanctity it seems. He's walking into the ring with purpose, his pose has no pyro though, kinda a lukewarm smoke that'd make Revolution 2020's explosion smirk. Goldberg does his usual entrance, lots of quick camera switching again. Dude looks a bit top-heavy tbh, skipping those leg days. Lashley paces across Goldberg's periphery, it doesn't look like there'll be underestimation in this fight.

They lock up first, a bit of strength testing, Goldberg tanks a shoulder block, grounding Lashley with a flying shoulder block, then a body slam. Goldberg is keeping the advantage with corner attacks and clotheslines but Lashley clubs at the back. He sets up a Jackhammer for insult to injury, but Goldberg keeps his leg hooked, he tries to lift Lashley but can't follow through and gets hit with a flatliner. No sympathy from Lashley as he clubs at the back of the head before uncharacteristically going up top, which Goldberg punishes by throwing him down, Goldberg looks for the Spear but MVP yanks Lashley outside, only for Goldberg to spear him on the outside anyway.

Goldberg sets up a second spear, but as the ref focuses on Lashley rolling out the other side, MVP thwacks Goldberg's knee with his cane, distracting Goldberg long enough to be chop blocked. Chokeslam makes Lashley look for the Hurt Lock, but he can't connect the fingers, as Goldberg escapes though he gets chop blocked again, causing Goldberg to leave the ring. Lashley follows, lifting him up and charging him knee first into the ring post twice. Struggling to stand, the Ref throws the match.

The match is over but Lashley continues to attack the leg with a steel chair. Gage Goldberg attempts to jump but gets wrenched with a Hurt Lock. MVP tries to assure that Lashley wouldn't have known that he was attacking Goldberg's son but it means little, Goldberg insisting he's gonna kill Lashley, meaning this feud isn't over.

The heat was right, the delivery was wrong. We've seen people beat Goldberg clean, I don't see why Lashley, who has beaten people who have beaten Goldberg clean, couldn't do that himself? Needing MVP's help flattens the statement made.

Camera work got a bit wonky there when promoting the Main Event

Universal Championship: Roman Reigns (c) def. John Cena (Pinfall via Spear) Cena's the first to come out, sporting a Super Mario-esque shirt showing his 16 world title reigns, the reigns also shown on the tron, they actually mentioned Ric Flair this time. The Bronze Statue hologram for Roman is still tacky, but he comes out flanked with his cousins and Paul, smoke again instead of pyro - I wonder if they weren't allowed to pyro. Heyman whispers the Usos to leave Roman to walk the ramp. I spotted an 'Anyone but you Roman' sign in the crowd, before McAfee makes me smirk again by calling Roman an 'absolute stud'.

Roman's a little ginger about locking up with Cena, but is goaded into it, winning the shoulder block. A second lock up leads to a Cena roll up for 1, trying to call back to the go home smackdown, another schoolboy for 2 but Roman laughs it off. Roman doesn't lock up again, kicking and clubbing at Cena while mocking the crowd, a lariat is reversed into another rollup for 2 but gets him back with a reverse lariat (he used the back of his arm, like a chop lariat), a Suplex by Roman leads to a 2 count, then the rest hold. Cena tries to break but Roman smacks him, another suplex for 2 then he dumps Cena out the ring, Cena blocks the punch and tries to flurry back, but is whipped into the steel steps. After some posturing Roman smacks Cena headfirst into the steps again, then posing with the belt as he claims that the crowd needs him, he saunters to the ring but walks into another schoolboy for 2, leading to another punch.

Roman insists that Cena can't win like this, but in his gloating Cena almost lifts him for the AA, which Roman counters into a DDT for 2. Roman almost looks bored, telling the hard cam that he's not apologetic about hurting Cena, Cena once again tries the forearms but when he tries the flying shoulder block he runs into an uppercut. Roman mocks Cena for having only five moves, but again it's a rollup for 2, this time Roman counters with a sleeper, Cena tries to fight but Roman puts his body weight on him, he tries again and Roman uses his weight again, only this time Cena launches him into the corner and follows up with a clothesline. Then come the shoulder tackles, the twisting front drop, but as he tiredly goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, Roman snaps in the Guillotine, Cena tries the Jackknife pin for 2, the hold is broken but this time it's a Superman Punch. Roman wastes too much time though and his spear is countered with a kick, this time the 5 Knuckle Shuffle hits, AA, 1, 2, No. Heyman's having heart palpitations ringside but Cena's locked in the STF, Roman makes the rope to break the hold and leaves the ring, but as Cena looks to follow he's hit by a Drive By.

Roman looks to put Cena away with a Spear on the outside, but Cena counters it with an AA through the Announcer's Table, he drags Roman back into the ring but only gets the 2. Cena goes up top, looking for a dropkick maybe, but he's caught into a powerbomb for 2. Roman seems to be prepping his Superman Punch, but Cena rolls for 2, picks up for the AA but can't lift him all the way, allowing Roman to hit the Superman Punch for another 2. Roman is getting irritated now, Cena's been in his head after all, he goes for the Spear but meets ye olde ring post. Cena pulls Roman up for the Avalanche AA, he lands it, 1, 2, No! Cena taunts Roman this time, quoting his entrance theme then mocking the Oooowaaah, the Spear is cut off though, instead they trade blows, one Superman Punch, two Superman Punch, Roman declares he is WWE and lands the Spear, 1, 2, 3.

Roman stands over the prone Cena, but then the noise is heard. Brock Lesnar is in the building, and he still has the hipster look. Cameras lose control again as Heyman finds a conflict in interest, dude is absolutely jacked though. He approaches Roman in a staredown, but Roman just leaves the ring to close the night. Apparently off-air Lesnar then attacked Cena.

You know what would've made this match better? If the conclusion wasn't so forgone after Smackdown. Did anyone actually think that WWE would let Roman quit? At least before Roman's career was at stake there was a 10% chance Cena could leave as the winner, which would've made the nearfalls much more believable.

As for Lesnar, well, Vince always wanted Roman/Brock to be the main level feud and he's always getting his way. It'll draw, but it only puts paper over the submarine window that is the problem.

Conclusion

A good PPV though. I don't think there was any match that was awful. And that's kinda saying something with Eva Marie involved. Some segments and matches were, legless perhaps, stuff you could've be done with or even just put on Raw which is a shame because that took time from matches, as I said I would've liked to actually see Becky and Bianca wrestle and the Mysterios get more time.

The returns were good, I suppose Chicago definitely had nothing to do with that. But I'm not gonna be sad about seeing Becky Lynch again.

My main problem is probably how despite the big card, there was no doubt, I mean I got all but a couple of matches right on this card and it was because the matches were all built so obviously, those two frankly I predicted because I expected a bit more swerve. Part of it could be the fatigue of all the good wrestling we've seen so far but compared to other PPVs where I've felt on the edge of my seat or shaking in my ribs I just felt cosy, like it was a casual watch.

It was certainly not bad, definitely a good outing with good wrestling, but there is room still to improve on the narrative, and camera work like seriously learn to linger, immediate snap cuts throw people off. New directions are ahead to fulfill that so hopefully WWE can find a course to get back on.

[tired-college-student-writing]

#WayneAngel: Chapter 2

The Maribat AU by @ozmav and @maribat-archive is all I can think about atm, so enjoy more of this

Summary- After Grayson posts a video on the wrong twitter, Damian feels like he should lose his social media privileges, and possibly his hand. 

Part 1

Part 2 (HERE)

Part 3

______________________________________________________________________

Wayne’s Angel @FashionableInGotham

Thanks for outing my relationship, Dick, now I owe Tim money. 

Marinette paused realizing that no one was going to believe the lone tweet, even as she hit send on the first post of her new twitter account. There were probably a hundred fake accounts popping up already in light of the news. Thousands of theories on her were already flying around the net. 

She probably had a zillion texts from her classmates about the video, but she had taken one look at the group chat and missed calls she had gotten from Alya and turned her phone onto do not disturb. She’d check for texts from her actual friends later. 

She sighed and stuck her head outside, and was only mildly surprised seeing the two middle Wayne boys stilling sitting on the patio. 

“You guys are still out here?” She asked, only for Jason to flip her off and Tim just bleary lifted his head up, having been taking a nap in the sun like a cat.

“Easy boy,” She soothed Jason, “I’ve just come to tell you the kitchen is no longer off-limits, and that Damian is attempting to murder Dick.”

“What did Dickie do?” 

Instead of answering Jason’s question she held up a blue bill between two fingers, “Oh I also owe Tim this,” 

She watched Tim pause mid-yawn and eyes flash to her before his eyes grow large and he cracked up laughing.  

Jason slipped into a cheeky smirk, “No…” 

“Oh yes,” Marinette sighed, “Dick accidentally uploaded the video he took earlier to his public twitter, instead of his private one. #WayneAngel and #MariDami are both trending right now.”  

“The demon spawn might actually succeed in killing him this time,” Tim gasped out, snatching the bill from her.

“Not on Alfred’s birthday, he won’t,” She giggled back before holding up her phone, “Either way, mind helping me enter the celebrity Twitter scene? I feel there’s going to be lots of clean up involved, but I figured the sooner I’m officially introduced the better, but I need someone to confirm I’m me on there.” 

Tim pulled out his phone, “One introduction tweet coming right up.” 

Tim Drake Offical @TJDrake

Thanks, @AFlyingGrayson for fucking up and winning me the bet with on who would out The Demon spawn’s relationship! 

Anyways, Just wanted to introduce @FashionableInGotham as my actual favorite sibling and the Demon spawn’s real, flesh and blood, girlfriend, Marinette.

With the tweet was a picture that Tim had snapped of the three of them chilling on the porch, Marinette perched on the armrest of Tim’s chair as the boy waved the banknote in front of the lens, Jason smirking as he gave the young girl bunny ears. 

It’s a very endearing picture, in her opinion and was ranking in retweets in a heartbeat. Her follower count was climbing from the seven Waynes. Marinette wasn’t going to ask how Tim managed to hack twitter to make the missing Waynes follow her, she really didn’t want to know. 

Plausible Deniability and all that.

The tweet was followed quickly by one from Jason. 

Jason Todd Lives @BestTodd

Yes the brat has a girlfriend

Yes I lost the bet on if he’d follow in Bruce’s footsteps 

Yes that’s my real reaction to her picking me up

Yes she’s is that adorable irl, Proof vvv

Yes @FashionableInGotham is my unofficial baby sister and I will fuck up anyone that upsets her

The picture he attached as proof of her being adorable was of her working on a piece, her tongue sticking out between her teeth as she concentrated. The reds and purple laying in pieces around her as she snipped and sewed them together. Behind her, you could barely make out Tim and Damian arguing on her chaise. 

There was a sudden bang as the patio door was hung open and Dick tumbled through, phone in hand, with Damian still following him, but the knife had been replaced with his sword. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were introducing Marinette on twitter!” The eldest whined as he continued to dodge Damian’s strikes. Damian stilled, turning to his other brothers. 

“You what!” 

Marinette rolled her eyes, “Easy Damian. It was my idea. Get a good image out there before people have too much time to theorize about how I wormed my way into the elusive Waynes.” 

Tim just snorted, “Ah yes, Marinette the masterful gold digger who had no idea she was dating the Damian Wayne for the first two months of their relationship.” 

The other boys laughed as Marinette’s face turned bright red. 

“You promised not to bring that up again,” SHe whined as her boyfriend came up behind her and wrapped an arm around her. 

“You know you love us, Angel,” He mumbled as he pressed a kiss into her hair, pointily ignoring the fake gagging from Jason and Tim. 

“Sooooo” Dick drawled, bringing everyone attention to him, “We have about an hour we need to start dinner, and two before he and B get back. Who’s up for a little twitter QnA?” 

_______________________________________________________________________

 The group chat was too hectic to keep up with anymore, no one was sure what was happening, until Chloe texted each of them individually and offered up a conference room at her family’s hotel for them to gather and go over what was happening. 

She was a little surprised that they all agreed, especially Lila. The gig was up, there wasn’t a way for her to convincingly spin this turn of events, not when the Wayne’s were already rushing to social media to defend the girl after the video accidentally went up, introducing her under a brand new twitter. 

If anyone saw that the blonde was already following said twitter, she’d claim it was to keep up with any drama that unfolded from little miss no one dating a Wayne. 

After all, she had an image to keep up, she couldn’t just... 

“Chloe?” 

Her head snapped up to see Adrian standing in the doorway. 

“How on earth did you get here so fast?” She asked with a raised brow. 

He glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck, “I... might of snuck out...” 

She laughed, “Knew school would be good for you.” 

He grinned sliding into the seat next to her, making her relax. 

Their relationship had been rocky for a while, but after Queen Bee made her official debut, they were working through it. She couldn’t deny the fact that his eyes glowed as she tried her best to be a better person made everything easier

“So have you abandoned your ridiculous high road principle?” She questioned, watching him flinch slightly. 

“You know I didn’t...” 

“Yeah, Yeah,” She sighed waving her hand, knowing it was still a sore spot to him that Marinette had taken the advice so poorly before Chloe stepped up and explained what he had meant. 

Keep your head down, don’t draw attention to yourself. Messages that had been instilled into Adrian for years, both to keep out of the media spotlight and, after his mother disappeared, to stay at of his father's way. Lies had never been an issue to him since rumors were always flying around the model and the people he worked with, so while it took him a while to see that the lies that Lila told were different than those written in the gossip columns and were actually doing harm. 

Let’s just say the boy was still beating himself up for that, even if Marinette forgave him. Sadly it was too late to have Adrian come forward on his own to out Lila without it looking like Marinette had just gotten him under her thumb so they had been waiting for their chance.

Chloe was glad to say that that day had finally come. 

“Did you know Damian was the boy Mari talked about?”  He asked quietly. 

“No,” She sighed, “Luka and Kagami had no idea either, you’d know this if you bothered looking at your phone.” 

He shrugged, leaning over her shoulder, “I left it at home, Dad tracked me last time I snuck out with it.”  

She huffed a laugh handing over the phone so he could see the... colorful texts from the pair. 

“I didn’t know Kagami knew any swears in French,” He confessed after scrolling through the group chat. 

“My money’s on her learning them from Ms. Couffaine,” Chloe offered lazily, “That woman swears like a sailor.” 

“She lives on a boat,” Adrian counters, “I think that qualifies her as a sailor.” 

“Whatever,” 

They lapsed into silence as Adrian clicked over to the entire group chat to see if he could make any sense out of it now that the flow of incoming texts has trickled off. 

“Are you okay?” She suddenly asks making him arch a brow, gazing up from the phone. 

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Your lady is in love with someone else.” 

Adrian smiled softly.

 “I accepted that awhile ago Chlo,” He reminded her, back to the day they were all too close when time ran out, when the five of them could no longer hide, “I’m very happy to be her best friend, plus I’ve been thinking that I might look what the cat can drag-in” 

She groaned, whacking him, “You’re ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.” 

“Like you weren’t wondering if you’d be a good snake charmer.”

She squeaked, swatting him again harder as he fell off his chair with laughter.

“I told you that in confidence, not so you can make stupid puns!” 

“Oh come on Chloe, don’t throw a hissssy hit,” 

“I’m a bee, so buzz off!” 

They stared at each other before breaking down into giggles. 

“I hate you,” She whines through the pearls of laughter. 

“No you don’t,” He waggled his eyebrow making her laugh harder. 

Knowing he won he glanced back at her phone only for his smile to twist into a wicked grin. 

“Tone down the Chat in that grin or people will put it together,” She warned, poking his cheek. 

“Marinette and the Wayne boys just said they’re doing a QnA under #Daminette.”  

Chloe blinked a few times before her smile twisted to match his, “There’s a projector in here and we have about five minutes until anyone else gets here.” 

“I’ll grab your laptop and make sure Plagg and Pollen come down from your room,” Adrian said, climbing to his feet. 

“I’ll call Luka and Kagami and ask them to be prepared, and then get Jean to get refreshments and inform Jagged Stone of what’s happening,” She assigned to herself before he nodded and took off. 

Operation Dethrone Lila was officially underway. 

About fucking time

_______________________________________________________________________

Taglist: @kceedraws @northernbluetongue @starry-bi-sky @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @lexysama @vincentvangoose

[thesunshinebunny]

Idk if your taking requests right nowww buuut can you do Erik and Damian fighting over s/o? Ahhh sorry if I’m weird nahsjshjd I love ur writing btw❤️💕💖

Oh boy…ohhhhhhh boooy!!! The house is on FIRE

Thank u so much for your sweet comment ❤️❤️❤️❤️

PD: I maaaaaaaaaaaaayyy have used as reference The Prince vs The Brute episode (maybe, it’s a big maybe)

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The day started like any other, a normal day. The sun rising at the horizon, one or two birds singing, the wind hitting lightly on the window and the heat of spring entering through the pores of the skin. Except that, in a normal life, you don't have five incubi sleeping under your same roof, waiting like any mortal for the first rays of the sun to start a productive day. Nor on a normal day is the slight knock on the door, knowing that one of the incubros awaits your response on the other side of it.

But these were normal days for you.

With a hoarse voice you allowed to enter the incubus who was waiting patiently, ignoring the reason for his morning awakening.

"I'm sorry it's too early, I couldn't go back to sleep and ... well, I made you breakfast"

Ahh, Damien, as thoughtful as ever. Even in your sleepy state you could feel the sweetness in his voice and how his feet moved on the carpet, avoiding making any noise that could bother you.

"This is the best way to wake up, thanks Damien." You felt the sheets sink to the empty side of the bed. Damien put the tray on the nightstand and waited for you to straighten up and be able to calmly open your eyes.

It took a few seconds, but when you were finally able to take your eyes off, your sight was rewarded with the warm orange-haired smile. But when your nose unconsciously smelled the aroma of toast with Nutella, your stomach growled with hunger. What a shame.

"Pff- hahaha, I'm glad to hear that you're hungry. I did a lot of things to tell the truth ”

He was right. On the tray you could see the pair of toasts, a cup of freshly made black coffee, a glass with orange juice, a bowl with small slices of fruits and some mini waffles in the shape of a bear.

"How adorable Damien, thank you very much."

"Sorry to disturb you, Your Highness, but ... oh, I see you've already been awakened." Erik was standing under the doorway, holding a huge bouquet of red roses. His gaze however didn’t find yours but his younger brother.

"Good morning Erik, the flowers look beautiful"

"Ah yes! These flowers are fresh from the gazebo, I hope they’re for your delight, your Highness ”

He put the bouquet down on my nightstand and gave you a nice smile before heading back to the door. "I was going to say that breakfast was going to be ready in a few minutes, but apparently my brother went ahead"

And with that he closed the door, leaving you and Damien alone in the room again.

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During the noon and afternoon, having the mansion almost empty, you devoted yourself to review notes and books that were left in virtual classes. But still spending boring hours just reading, you also had the time to teach Damien. For weeks you was teaching him to read and write and now he can write the whole alphabet and read kids short stories. Sometimes you can see the frustrated face when he try to read your books and don't succeed. 

And that's where you come to the rescue! (baby steps Damien, baby steps)

“The audi… audio-visual montage is a process of uniting… uniting…”

"Uniting pieces of film to create sequences, ending in a final tape"

You appeared discreetly in the library doorframe. Damien was trying again to read a book from one of your subjects and from what you could hear, he had improved, but he had problems him a few words.

"You know the whole book backwards?" Damien scoffed slightly, setting the book down on the small coffee table.

"More or less, I mean, they are going to take an exam soon, it’s better to learn it as soon as possible"

You sat next to him on the sofa, leaving some children's stories on the table. A friend of your parents, who had become a father few years ago, lent them to you for a certain time.

"Thank you for helping me, but you shouldn't waste your time on me." He put his hand over yours and gave you a slight yet sad smile.

"No problem Damien, I like to help you and spend time with you" His eyes began to shine, but not because he’s about to cry, on the contrary, you could see a slight happiness in them. Which disappeared when a melody began to sound from the living room. 

Someone was playing the piano. 

The tune was slow and smooth, I would say even romantic. You and Damien went down the stairs to the source of the sound. In the living room, sitting at the piano, was Erik with a small glass pot with a red rose on it.

"Good afternoon, Your Highness, Damien. I'm sorry for the sound, but it had been days since I played a little ballad and seeing this little rose when I returned from work gave me the necessary energy ”

His slow voice accompanied the notes of the melody, as if he’s singing. As you went down the big stairs, Damien stayed behind you, watching as his older brother used his boring compliments. Perhaps the evening sunrays made the scene more romantic than Damien wanted to accept.

He watched how your gaze was lost between Erik's skillful fingers on the piano and how his gaze was lost on your innocent and happy smile. Damien's eyes flashed with determination; determination of not to let his brother win your heart.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!"

"I'm trying to make us dinner, I don't know what you are trying to do"

A great uproar could be heard coming from the kitchen. Damien and Erik were apparently trying to cook in unison, but they couldn't get along with each other, much less make a decently cooked meal.

"Erik, it should be impossible to say this, but you are burning the water."

"And you Damien, dear little brother, you don't know how to clean a fish bone"

"Do you think you can do better?!"

"What The Hell Is Going On Here?!?!" James stormed into the kitchen to find his two younger brothers barely making a pitched battle in it. Pots scattered on the countertops, small puddles of water and bits of scales on the floor. You didn't have to have the ability to read minds to know that James wasn’t just fucking them up and down, but that he was counting from 0 to 1000 in milliseconds so as not to kill them right now.

“Both of you. OUT. NOW ” Both brothers left the sight of James with their heads down and when they were about to cross the threshold the brunette spoke again “If you have something to fix or just want to have a real fight, go outside to the gazeboo”

When they went out to the dining room they could hear their brother talking on the phone, apparently ordering Chinese food since the food had been spoiled.

"If you end up destroying the plants I will kill you"

A minute later, loud screams could be heard from outside the mansion.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's going on outside? Who is fighting?” You ran downstars to the dining room trying to understand the situation. You had heard a few small screams a few minutes ago, but didn’t understood a word, not even the context.

"Miss / Mister, you better stay out of this..."

"James? What do you mean?" The incubus was standing in front of the front door holding two bags, apparently of Chinese food. Weird coming from James, who was always willing to cook.

“Well… let's say… Erik and Damien have some business to settle. I don't think it's a good idea that you get involved. ”

You understood very well the fighting between brothers, it was something that an outsider to that bond couldn’t fully involve. You’re about to help James bring the food to the table when the screaming from outside increased.

"YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW TO SEDUCE ?!"

"WITH OR WITHOUT MY GIFTS OF SEDUCTION I WILL MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME"

What? What they were fighting about? Or… maybe… for WHO were they fighting?

"I LOVE THEM. I LOVE (Y/N) AS I NEVER LOVED BEFORE”

Oh no. They were fighting over you. 

That’s not good.

"I LOVE THEM TOO, AND I WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE THEIR HEART WITHOUT FIGHTING"

You bolted out the door of the gazebo and opened it wide. Even before opening it, you could feel a slight charge of their powers, they were about to transform into their original form and it was better to stop this.

"You better stop that RIGHT NOW"

Both brothers were frozen in their places. Damien's skin tattoos peeked over the collar of his shirt and Erik's eyes shone with that golden color characteristic of his race. They stared at you for a long time, so long it made it uncomfortable. You were about to speak again when Erik cut you off.

“You heard our fight, we have nothing to hide" His eyes returned to normal and he gave Damien and you a sad look.

"I don't want to continue fighting anymore" Damien instead tried to avoid your gaze, like a sad and wet dog, but something in the environment prevented him from avoiding it for a long time.

"Me neither" Erik looked you straight in the eyes while giving off an intense aura "The decision is yours, your Highness"

"Erik! You can't ask them like that out of nowhere”

"It’s not our place to decide who is best for them. It’s their heart”

"In that ... you're right" Damien walked to position himself in front of you "The decision is yours"

.

.

Support me on Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/abrightsunshine

[maxdark158]

Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3

Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Ao3

Fanart for AiG: Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman

Please tag me in any fanart you draw for this guys ^^

hi. it’s been a while. let’s get into the actual chapter then.

oooOOOooo

Marinette wasn’t used to houses as large as the Wayne Manor – that much was clear. Her eyes were wide when she first took everything in. He didn’t take her on a tour, he knew Todd and Drake were somewhere in the mansion and he didn’t want her meeting them until she was ready.

Her jaw did drop when Alfred showed her their kitchen though. Her expression almost made him regret his decision to not give her a tour. The faces she would have possibly made looking at the grand halls and rooms or would have been- not worth Todd and Drake.

Hence the almost.

Marinette seemed to adjust to her surroundings quickly enough. Perhaps the food Alfred managed to make quickly helped with that. She seemed delighted by the taste.

“My parents don’t make these often,” she mumbled, munching on her blondie. “White chocolate is usually used for decoration.”

“I’m glad the daughter of bakers can enjoy my desserts,” Alfred seemed to like her, which was good. He wouldn’t do anything to keep the other two away from her though. Alfred did little to mitigate possible damage done by siblings.

He left after that, though Marinette kept asking if he wanted to eat with them. Damian wasn’t sure why Alfred was so hell-bent on leaving them alone. Unlike Marinette, he didn’t buy that, “I already ate,” bullshit.

However his glare didn’t exactly work through walls, so he instead talked to his an- Marinette.

They talked about a lot of things. What she was planning to do with the fabrics she bought while they were out, she had designs based off Gotham’s superheroes, based off him and his family too but they aren’t as important, then how much free time she would have given where her field trip would be taking her over the course of the rest of her days here, he took a mental note of locations and times she mentioned so he could possibly spend more ti- spring her from spending time with that awful class, which led into what she liked about Gotham so far and what she wanted to see before leaving, which he also made note of. For other reasons- not those reasons though, just other reasons in general. To make sure they were safe.

She seemed happy.

It was a good look for her.

Wait, what the fu-

“Can you help me clean up?” she asked, startling Damian out of his own mental interrogation. He’ll return to it later, it seems.

“Sure,” he picked up his empty plate. Alfred happened to choose that moment to return and help clean up, so the mother fucker was clearly fucking listening in. Bitch.

They cleaned for a few wordless moments before Marinette spoke again.

“Do your brothers know we’re here?” she asked Damian while she took the glasses to the kitchen. Damian trailed after her with the plates.

“No, and we can leave before they find out if we’re quick about it,” maybe she changed her mind about meeting them. He wouldn’t blame her.

“What if I’d like to meet them?” she teased. “They sound fun!”

Fucking fuck fuck.

“Alright Angel, if you’re sure,” he pursed his lips, “but if you want to leave for any reason, just tell me.”

“Master Damian, I do believe that Miss Marinette is capable of taking care of herself,” Alfred almost seemed to be chiding him.

This just in, Alfred is fucking dead to him now.

He began putting the plates in the dishwasher, because unlike fucking Todd, he doesn’t just drop them in the fucking sink and walk away like a heathen.

“What he said, Damian,” Marinette giggled. “I’ll be fine. They can’t be worse than the Riddler or Hawkmoth, and I survived those two.”

Is that how she approaches every situation? Well, it can’t be worse than the fucking Butterfly Terrorist in Paris or the Green Guy with Deadly Riddles! He realized he was gripping the plate in his hands too hard and forced himself to relax.

Then he saw who was behind hi- Marinette.

“Todd,” he didn’t growl, which is a point to him. Todd fucking smirked too, and Damian didn’t murder him. Another point.

“Demon Spawn! I thought you went somewhere else!” He glanced down at Marinette. “Timmy! The Riddler girl is here!”

Of fucking course Drake wanted to talk to Marinette. Of fucking course.

Drake ran in like a fucking lunatic. He is a fucking lunatic but that doesn’t mean he has to run like one. He can run like a normal person just fucking fine. Damian heard him break something on his way to the kitchen, adding to the needlessness of his theatrics. He fought back a sigh and put the last plate away.

“Holy sh-

“Language,” Alfred tutted. Like he fucking cared about fucking language after the Swear Jar Incident.

“You’re actually here! I didn’t think Damian would let you near us!” Damian almost grabbed the dirty plate out of the dishwasher and smashed it against Drake’s head. “I’m Tim Drake-Wayne!”

“Jason Todd-Wayne,” Damian’s least favorite brother said.

No, that wasn’t fair to Drake. They were both his least favorite family member.

Marinette seemed to hesitate for a moment. Her eyes widened briefly, like she had come to a realization. Damian mentally screamed when he found the expression cute. She isn’t cute she’s just his friend who is attractive but he isn’t attracted to her he can just acknowledge the fucking fact-

Then, she smiled. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng! A pleasure to meet you!”

Drake practically fell over himself trying to get the words out. “So you solved The Riddler’s riddle, right?” Tim asked. “Like, knew what the answer was?”

Marinette nodded. “He probably googled it. A toddler could do better.”

Damian frowned. Did… did she not consider the Riddler a serious villain? Did she not realize that his riddles were meant to be difficult…

Did she not realize how impressive it was that she solved it, especially since it was a play on a language that isn’t her first?

Drake lit up at her nonchalance, likely excited that she considered an intelligent adversary easy to defeat. Fuck that shit.

“Drake, don’t harass her with your questions!” he snapped. Because what the fuck. She was his friend first anyway she doesn’t have to be interrogated.

“I’m not!”

“You are!”

“She isn’t uncomfortable-”

“You’re asking about her first and only encounter with a villain of course she is-”

“Are you even looking at her she isn’t-”

“So fucking what if she doesn’t look uncomfortable? You can’t demand the details of something like that for no good god damn reason-”

“You know I have a good reason, you motherfucking asshole-”

“Sure!” he heard Marinette practically shout and-

Wait what?

“What?” Damian asked, interrupting Tim during their argument.

Marinette turned toward him while Todd slung an arm over her shoulder like they were best fucking friends or something. No they fuck they’re not. “Freckles here just agreed to spar with me!”

What.

She turned her head to look at him. “Freckles?”

What.

“It’s your nickname. ’Cause you’ve got Freckles.”

What the fuck is this fuckery?

Damian heard Drake stifle a laugh behind him. The bitch. Damian opened his mouth to argue or say something or stop this because what the fuck Todd but Drake beat him to it.

“Do you seriously want to duel her because she beat The Riddler?” Drake scoffed.

Damian wasn’t sure what he expected but that was disappointing regardless. What the fuck, Drake? Argue better than that!

“You wanted to question her because she solved his riddles!” Todd continued to try and defend the indefensible. “Plus-”

“Todd,” Damian hissed, because they needed to have a talk about not hurting hi- Marinette, it seemed.

“Yeah demon spawn?” Todd sounded fucking bored of all things.

Damian opened his mouth to start his argument when he was interrupted again – was it shit on Damian day today? – wait Marinette is talking-

“-I agreed to it,” she told him, her own beautiful eyes meeting his. “Plus, akuma are typically much larger than me anyway. It’s not like I’m going to break from someone as small as Jason!”

Damian blinked. His brothers laughed but he blinked and tensed a bit. What the hell does she mean akuma are typically bigger than- what are they? He assumed it was some type of gang and while it isn’t that hard to be bigger than his an- Marinette are they all as large as Jason? Larger? How many akuma are there? How much bigger are they? He forced his body to relax. He needed to focus on the now, research this akuma gang headed by a butterfly loving lunatic later.

“We have a gym down the hall,” Drake helpfully said. Todd was still giggling because he thought it was so fucking funny haha bitch. Damian continued to glare. It wouldn’t technically be murder if Todd were killed by a glare, right? Damian didn’t even have powers, so clearly it couldn’t have been him…

“Do you know your IQ?” Tim asked. Like a fucking creep with no concept of personal space or privacy Drake what the ever-loving fuck.

His a- Marinette was rightfully confused by the invasive question but instead of telling Drake to fuck off she was nicer and answered his question. “No, I don’t think I ever took the test.”

Damian was walking ahead of them with Todd to make sure he didn’t pull any funny business but seriously, bitch, mind your own business- “Do you have any measurement of your problem-solving skills?”

Damian didn’t murder anymore. Especially his brothers. Especially especially in front of his- an ang- Marinette. He was tense though, Todd gave him a *look* and he just glared more.

“My parents don’t like playing strategy games with me,” she seemed to be reminiscing something.

“You always win?” Drake asked. She nodded.

“Hey Timmy, stop holding Freckles up!” Todd called from where they were at the gym door.

“Alright, alright,” Drake grumbled. The other two sped up and soon entered the gym.

It was standard, smaller than the one he grew up using. The sparring mat was in the center, which was what Damian assumed Todd planned to use for this unnecessary battle.

Todd took off his jacket and took a position on the mat. Hi- Marinette followed suit, setting her purse near his jacket. When she took a position, it was off slightly.

Todd lunged, Marinette ducked his punch and maneuvered behind him, driving an elbow into his back. He dodged, barely, and went for a swipe under her feet.

She tripped, but he saw her maneuvering her fall so she wasn’t hurt.

Seems she wanted to end this early too.

“Well, that was fu-”

“You can do better than that!” Drake cried. “There’s no way that’s it.”

“Drake,” Damian grumbled. He should just let her lose if she wants! He knows Jason isn’t really trying either, none of them would really try on a civilian. He was still wor- god damn it.

Todd seemed to pause as if his brain needed to process the information like a slow computer. “Wait, you weren’t really trying?”

“I-” she hesitated, “What makes you think that wasn’t my best?”

“The Riddler is bad at combat,” Drake leaned against the wall acting like a fucking know it all bitch and seriously? “But he’s better than that. Why are you holding back?”

“She can hold back if she wants to,” Damian would really appreciate someone not being an idiot here.

“Jason wanted to see how good she is,” Drake retorted. “If she’s holding back, it’s like purposefully failing a test or losing a game!”

“No, it’s not!” Marinette responded hotly, almost… competitive?

“Why are you not trying to win, Freckles?” Todd asked. “This is sort of a competition.”

Damian saw something shift in his Angel’s demeanor… Seems she’s competitive too. He filed that information away.

She got up and assumed a better position. “Fine then,” she huffed.

Todd got into position and this time, she attacked first.

She went for a fake punch to the throat. He grabbed her fist to block and she grabbed onto his other hand to swing onto his shoulders. He attempted to pull her down with the hand she grabbed but she managed to remove it from his grip and grab it with her own.

“What the hell!”

Todd’s wrists were held by her. He didn’t shake her grip off him, though he could if he were trying. He was attempted to buck her off his shoulders, but Marinette’s legs wrapped around him too tight to be shaken off. As he struggled to get her to let go, she began to swing around to make him lose balance.

He didn’t have his arms to stabilize him or catch his fall. His bucking made his lack of balance worse, and with several curses, he began falling backward. Marinette let go of his trapped hands mid-fall flipped off him, somehow dodging his head.

When Todd landed face-first on the mat looking incredibly pathetic even if he could still win, she was there quick as lightning, pinning his arms behind him and his legs with her weight.

“I win,” she grinned.

Todd responded with more muffled curses.

She got off of him and helped him up. After he was standing, she glanced at him and Drake.

Drake’s mouth was open, being overdramatic again for no fucking reason, really it was cool to see a civilian do that though but that doesn’t mean Drake gets to be impressed!

“Holy hell what are they teaching you in Paris?” Todd grumbled, pupping his back.

Marinette bit her lip. “I’m sorry-”

“Why?” Todd asked. “I asked for you to fight me. This was fun even if I got a mouthful of matt.”

“Do you work out?” Drake asked, again with the questions!

“Not regularly,” she responded. “But my parents own a bakery and the flour bags are heavy. Plus, sometimes someone orders a huge cake, and those can get heavy too!”

Drake nodded, likely filing that information away to write some fucking biography on her because she’s oh so impressive for a civilian- she *is* but Drake can fucking leave her alone!

Todd spoke up because since he died he had a death wish. “Hey Demon Spawn, are you rebooting or something?”

Damian scrambled for an excuse, as I’m mentally murdering you and Drake is typically an unacceptable answer. No it wasn’t but he wouldn’t say that around his Ang- Marinette. “Apologies. I’m a bit surprised, as I didn’t see Marinette actually fight The Riddler, I didn’t know what she was capable of.”

“What?” Marinette seemed to snap out of a train of thought suddenly, “I’m sorry I zoned out.”

“You-“ are really impressive.

“He said you did a good job, Freckles,” Todd fucking interrupted him how dare he. But also thank you- god, this was all because of that fucking worry wasn’t it? Fucking god damn worry was poisoning his every thought and action.

“Thank you,” Marinette smiled.

“Okay since that’s over now,” Drake rubbed his hands together. “Marinette-”

“Please tell me none of you died,” Father walked in, surveying the room. “Huh. I’m surprised there isn’t any blood. Alfred told me you were sparring.”

“Jason decided to spar Damian’s girl-”

“Marinette,” Damian interrupted, she’s not his *girl* what the fuck, she’s his friend- “My friend Marinette.”

Bruce Wayne sees her for the first time and Marinette has to shake off the feeling of being analyzed.

“She’s the girl that punched Riddler in the throat,” Drake says unhelpfully.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” she goes to shake his hand. He takes it and shakes. Good, his father isn’t dead to him then. Alfred still has to make up for some shit.

“She won against Todd by the way,” Damian decided to add. Father stiffened a bit. They both knew Todd was going easy on her, but it was still interesting.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Father says. “Alfred wanted to invite you to stay for dinner.”

Since when was that a fucking thing? And *why*? What was Alfred’s fucking angle? Damian’s eyes narrowed. If he thought this would make it up to hi- shit she’s talking.

“-ze, but I must be returned to my class by five-thirty pm.”

“Uh, it’s four forty now,” Todd points out, “How long is the drive, Freckles?”

Marinette pales. “I should probably head back-”

“I’ll go with you,” Damian didn’t want to be around his brothers, he knew they’d find something to tease him about regarding Marinette. “Alfred can drive us if that is alright with you.” He was still the most trusted driver even if he’s currently dead to him right now.

“Thanks for inviting me over,” she smiled and Damian felt… oddly warm. Was he sick?. She turned to his brothers and father, “It was wonderful to meet you guys!”

“I’ll win the sparring match next time, Freckles,” Todd told her. Was he going to hold back less or something? He better fucking not.

Drake said something about another invasive idea for a test that Damian would deal with later, when he could use his sword. “You better come back,” he said out loud. Why the hell would he demand things of her?

“I’d love to return if I’m invited.”

“When,” he told her.

She managed to smile again. “When.”

At this rate, there wouldn’t be a fucking when if this shit happens every time.

They left the room and Alfred led them to the car. He allowed the silence as she didn’t appear to want to talk. Maybe she wanted to relax? He wasn’t sure, so he didn’t start a conversation. Was he overthinking things? Weedkiller, he’d get the fucking weedkiller soon...

“The brothers I met were nice,” she began to talk suddenly, she must want a conversation. “They seem annoying-”

“You can say that again,” he grumbled automatically.

“-but they seem like decent brothers,” she finished. “They’re fun people too.”

Damian shrugged. “Sometimes.” Like when he’s using them for target practice.

There was more silence. But now he’s thinking, well wondering? He’s thinking and wondering and-

“Do you have secrets?” he asked suddenly and Fucking fuck fuck he shouldn’t ask that what the fuck he was mad at Drake for the invasive questions real fucking hypocritical of him huh- “You don’t have to tell me, obviously, but you’re aware that there are things I’m not comfortable telling you yet and-”

“I have secrets,” she interrupted his fucking worried rambling he would kill the worry he swears. “Maybe I’ll tell you someday.”

Oh. That… To earn enough of her trust like that… Damian smiled slightly, even if it felt foreign on his face. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wish to, Angel. It’s only fair that I give you what you’re giving me.”

Marinette grinned wide. “Thank you.”

Maybe he could get a bit more used to smiling, seeing a smile like that…

“We have arrived,” Alfred said from the front seat. Damian was shocked, glanced out the window and- oh, they have arrived… he was disappointed, but only in his inability to realize himself. Nothing else. Nothing. At all. Nothing.

He got out with her, and a moment of clumsiness seemed to overtake her. She tripped over Damian’s feet.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry,” her accent was heavier, she must be struggling to speak a second language while… embarrassed?

“It’s alright Angel,” he should try to soothe the embarrassment, right? Is that how that worked? She seemed tense as he helped her up, and she turned to face him and- is she alright?

“Is something wrong?” he was worried.

“I’m okay,” she said, brushing off her knees. “I used to fall like that all the time, but I’m okay, I promise.”

“If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“I won’t.”

After some hesitation, she left. She walked back into the building, safe and unharmed. He got back into the car and Alfred drove them back to the manor.

oooOOOooo

It was easy to slip into the building unnoticed. Well, not unnoticed, the jester did kill the man behind the desk and leave him there. But he died with a smile on his face. They’d all die with a smile on their faces. And this would be fun for the jester too. the jester would have a lot of fun, so much fun, so much fun, a lot of so much fun you see…

The jester waited behind the desk with the lights off. Another girl was there. Not the one the jester wanted, no no not yet. But perhaps she’d join her little friend. The jester would get two. Have even more fun.

The jester grinned, hidden by the dark. But soon the jester wouldn’t be. And it would be so, so much fun.

[vikingpoteto]

Red Robin under the spotlight

Read on AO3 

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Relationships:  GEN. Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake

Summary: Red Robin and Red hood are basically urban legends, no one is sure they're real. That is, until there is a picture of the two of them grinning at each other on Gotham Gazette's front page.

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Tim Drake is having… a day. 

Stuck in his office for the afternoon, he is praying for nightime to come soon so he can put on his suit and vent his frustration by beating up some unsuspecting criminal. He’d known being a CEO wasn’t particularly fun, but he didn’t expect the board of directors to be babies for so long. 

He skims his proposal for what feels like the hundredth time unsure of how to make it clearer that that is the best course of action for their investments. The fact that he is only 18 should not trump his very solid, data-based arguments. 

So he’s already in a bad mood and praying for a distraction when his office door swings open and Tam Fox storms in.

“Timothy!” she shouts. 

He feels like he's about to learn he should be careful with what he wishes.

“Hey, Tam, I missed you too?” He tries.

Behind her, his secretary makes a helpless gesture as if trying to communicate she tried to stop Tam. Tim gives the woman a tired smile and makes a dismissive gesture.

Ignoring that, Tam slams the door closed and repeats for emphasis: “Timothy.” She pushes an iPad into Tim’s chest. “What is the meaning of this?”

Raising an eyebrow, he takes the iPad and looks at the screen, noticing he’s staring at a Gotham Gazette article and… Tim’s heart stops.

The headline screaming at his face says RED DYNAMIC DUO? by Vicki Vale and beneath it…

“Oh god,” Tim whimpers.

Beneath the headline there’s a picture of him and the Red Hood. 

Or, well, Red Robin and Red Hood. They’re sitting on the fire escape of one of the abandoned buildings in Jason’s territory and both are seemingly at ease. Too at ease. There are two BatBurger bags at their side and their fingers are intertwined. Red Robin is staring at their joined hands with a wide smile. Fucking hell. Tim always makes a point of never smiling in front of anyone when he’s in his suit, he has a reputation to protect. He doesn’t know if it’s better or worse that Red Hood isn’t wearing his helmet, because it emans his open grin is visible as well - and thank god  Jason has the habit of wearing a domino under his helmet. 

Who the hell took that picture? How the hell did they go unnoticed by both Tim and Jason?

He then starts reading the article, every word feeling like a punch to the gut. 

Gotham City has seen its share of vigilantes over the years and, unlike public figures such as Superman, they prefer to keep to themselves, making many people wonder whether they’re even human. As a shot captured by an amateur photographer that chose to remain anonymous, we find out at least a pair of the many Gotham “heroes” are closer to us than we thought. 

The vigilante known as Red Robin Gotham's patheon of heroes a couple of months ago and little is known about him. He’s been seen working with the likes of Batman, Robin and even Batgirl, making us all think he’s one of the good guys. It seems like Red Robin’s circle of friendships doesn’t include only Justice League members, though.

The Red Hood, the man so tenderly smiling at Red Robin, is a notorious mob boss whose territory's size, GCPD especulates, rivals Black Mask’s. Red Hood wanders between both criminal activities and a violent brand of justice and, while he's been seen working side-by-side with heroes like Nightwing, a hero that since has only been seen in Bludhaven, no one can claim to have seen the Red Hood so comfortable around one of the bats of Gotham

The two young men were pictured in a tender moment. Could this mean that Red Robin is straying towards villany? Is the Red Hood is considering changing his ways? Or, perhaps, are we facing a pair of starcrossed lovers, separated by different set of morals, but still unable to stay away from one another? 

Tim makes an inhumane sound. The words  star crossed lovers  jump from the screen, burning his eyes and making him wish he was going over a dumb business proposal still.

“Well?” Tam demands. “What is that, Tim?”

“I don’t know, Tam,” he answers, his voice weak. “What on earth- How the hell… Oh, god .”

“Why were you hanging out with the Red Hood?”

“Stakeout,” Tim says simply.

“Why were you on a stakeout with the freaking Red Hood?”

At that, Tim recovers enough to feel a bit miffed. That’s the same tone she had last year when Tim was working with assassins and he gets offended on his brother’s behalf. Even if, you know, said brother had also been somewhat related to the assassins in question. In the past.

“Hey, Hood is not as bad as the news make him look. Sure, he’s not exactly clean, but he’s a valuable undercover agent and…”

Tam makes sounds of a woman whose white Valentino bag had liquid lipstick spilled in. “Does that mean you  are  dating the Red Hood?”

“What? NO!”

Tim pinches the bridge of his nose. God, what a mess. 

“He’s my brother,” he says. 

Tam looks like she goes through the 7 stages of grief in a very short time and, honestly, Tim feels for her. He likes Tam a lot. She is smart and strong and the poor girl has had to deal with so much since she and Tim became friends.

“Are you telling me… that Dick Grayson…”

“No, Dick’s not the Red Hood.”

She stares at the picture again and then at him. “This isn’t Duke or Damian, Tim.”

“You’re right. It’s a long story. I can’t tell you, though. I trust you but Hood’s identity isn’t my secret to share.” 

Tam closes her eyes and breathes in and out slowly. After all the crap she had to deal as one of Red Robin’s friends, a stranged brother that happened to be a crime lord (an anti-hero, really) wasn’t that far fetched. She didn’t know much about the Drakes because Tim didn’t talked about them, so, for all she knows, Red Hood could be Jack’s or Janet’s bastard child. Although Tim can figure her theories, he doesn’t try to explain anything. Whatever she works out is better than letting her know Red Hood is Bruce Wayne’s son brought back from the dead.

“Fine. You’re not dating a criminal. You’re a criminal’s brother.”

“I mean… if you think about it, I’m a criminal too.” He smiles sheepishly under her glare. “Being a vigilante isn’t exactly something I can put on my resume.” 

Shaking her head, Tam checks the picture again. “What were you even doing? Because it looks like you’re holding hands and finding it hilarious.”

“We… hm. We were thumb wrestling.”

She stares at him, her expression empty of any emotion. Tim cringes.

“Look, not everything is death traps and high risks, alright? Sometimes stakeouts get boring!”

“You were laughing your head off because you were having a thumb war with the Red Hood,” Tam deadpans.

“Hm. Actually the thumb war wasn't that funny, that was him cheating. I was winning so he kept talking shit about Dick’s past to make me laugh and lose focus.”

Tam finally sits down and she looks at ceiling as if she’s considering all the life decisions that lead her to this moment. At this point, Tim knows she’s just being dramatic, because knowing Red Hood cheats at thumb war for certain isn’t more shocking than the time she met Tim. 

“The thumb was isn’t important now, though,” Tim says. “ This  is a huge problem. Hood’s gonna be in hot water if people think he’s  friends  with a hero.”

He refuses to use the word lovers, because ew. Sure they’re not related by blood, but… ew. Tim  sees  him as a brother, damn it.

“Well, I’m afraid there’s not a lot we can do now,” Tam says apologetically. “The article’s been up since this morning. Even if we have them take it down, it’s already out there. #RedDynamicDuo is trending on Twitter.”

Oof. That’s… oof.

Tim intertwines his fingers and glares at the tablet in front of him as if waiting for the puzzle to solve itself. He knows it won’t, so it’s up to him to fix this. His burnt out brain suggests calling Bart and asking him to run back in time and stop that cursed thumb war. His practical brain has half a mind to call Oracle and see how much online evidence she can get rid of. He has to contact Gotham Gazette and threaten them into not putting vigilante’s identities at risk by posting such pictures, although he doesn’t hold high hopes for that course of action. What he needs now is a bigger scandal, although he fails to think of something more dramatic than Red Robin and Red Hood being buddies…

Right as he’s starting to feel a bit forlorn, his phone buzzes on the table. A picture of Dick smiling flashes on the screen and Tim allows himself to perk up for a moment. Dick for sure will be able to help him.

“Dick!” He picks up, full of hope.

Tim is greeted with cackling. Dick’s cackling.

He groans. “Richard.”

“AHAHAHAHA O-oh god, you… aha... b-baby bird, you… HAHAHAHA--”

Tim isn’t paid enough for this. He hangs up.

“Can you help me with this?” He asks.

“Don’t I always?” Tam quirks an eyebrow.

Smiling tiredly, he stands. “I’m taking the rest of the afternoon off. Can you take care of… you know… day job stuff?”

“I guess. Good luck with your… your family thing.”

 THE BIRDNEST

spoiler alert: *insert game of thrones joke here*

In the hood: Go fuck yourself, Stephanie

spoiler alert: not judging u bro he hella cute

WonderWing: steph please

cassandra cain-wayne: ?

send me a Signal: they’re talking about that picture of Hood and Red holding hands cass

yumm: were NOT holding hands

cassandra cain-wayne: I print that picture.

In the hood: W H Y ! ?

cassandra cain-wayne: cute :) 

spoiler alert: she right and she should say it

In the hood: Steph, turn on your location. I just want to talk.

yumm: stephanie I hv pics of u sleep drooling on me from that that 1 patrol dnt test me

spoiler alert: shut up red dynamic duo

 Tim hates the internet.

Barbara is kindly trying her best to muffle the online reaction, but there is only so much she can do without outright deleting people’s tweets. Tim knows for a fact that that would only cause a bigger uproar, so he asks her to settle for burying mentions of them under a fake algorithm. 

He has yet to think of gossip hot enough to top the rumors, but he doesn’t think even his fake engagement to Tam last year received so much attention. A glimpse into Gotham’s elusive heroes’ personal lives was too exciting to let go quickly.

When he walks into his apartment, he wants nothing but to take a hot shower and a nap. He knows he can’t, though. 

As well as he knows he isn’t alone. 

He plays it cool, walking in as though he doesn’t notice the person in the shadows. He drops his keys and phone on the nearest table as he would normally and turns around too abruptly to allow a reaction, his fist connecting to… someone’s palm.

“Nice reflexes, Baby Bird,” Jason says, quirking an eyebrow as though mildly impressed.

Tim groans. “Would it kill you to use the door?”

“It might, better not risk it.”

“It shaves five years of my life span every time I come home and you’re waiting in the shadows. Of all of Bruce’s habits to pick up…”

Jason simply shrugs. “So… what’s up,  honey? ”

“Ew, don’t say that,” Tim groans.

Keeping his nonchalant facade, Jason lets himself fall into Tim’s couch as though he belongs there. Tim heads to his room to change into more humane clothes.

“I’m assuming Dickie shared the news already,” Jason says.

“He couldn’t stop laughing long enough to say anything,” Tim replies from his closet. “Tam was kind enough to show me, though.”

“Tam… is that your ex-fiancée? Hmm… The news sure keep shipping you with everyone, speaking of which.”

Grumbling the whole time, Tim puts on a purple hoodie he might or might not have stolen from Stephanie and that he wears whenever he’s stressed. He wears that hoodie a lot. Heading back to the living room barefoot and feeling slightly more prepared to deal with the situation, he says:

“I’m assuming you aren’t here just to hang out.”

Jason gives him an unimpressed look. “I’ll give you three guesses.”

Tim blinks once. Twice.  No, it can’t be that… “ Everyone thinks you’re a rat.”

“Bingo.”

And this situation keeps getting better and better. Red Hood is feared enough that he can get away with hanging out with the goody two shoes every now and again and keep his rep. Being caught eating burgers and giggling with a hero was a whole new animal. 

They have to assume Hood’s safe houses were compromised as well. The point of having many hideouts is that you’re never left with nowhere to go, but even Jason wasn’t prepared to have everyone in his territory turn on him. That and they all had been raised and trained to be paranoid. It was too big of a risk to assume he’d be safe in a known place.

“Crap,” Tim mutters. 

“I considered ditching Gotham and spending some time with Roy instead…”

“But that would be as good as a confession. You’d never gain their respect again,” Tim completes for him.

Jason nods. 

The only silver-lining about this situation is that this is Jason. Granted he isn’t too angry to think, Jason is practical and willing to do what’s needed, even if it’s annoying or if it makes him uncomfortable. Tim likes working with him because of that.

“You know where the extra blankets are,” Tim says. 

Because, of course, if Jason can’t be at his own place and he can’t be with Roy and Kory, he’d crash Tim’s place. The manor isn’t really an option for him and Tim doesn’t blame him for that. 

“The plan of action?”

“I’ll let you know as soon as I figure out.”

Jason sighs. “I’m going to punch something in your Red Robin cave.”

“Be my guest.”

 Damage control is necessary, of course, especially for Red Hood’s safety, but there is something bothering Tim more. He opens the news and studies the picture. It’s a damn good shot, almost looks like it was staged. He closes his eyes and tries to remember that night. In order to take that picture, the photographer would have to be in of of the buildings across the street and they’d have to be good enough to go unnoticed not by one, but by two highly trained vigilantes, one of which had his senses enhanced by the Lazarus pit. 

He messages Babs quickly for more info on whoever sent those pictures to the news, but not even Oracle had managed to track them yet. It sounds like the photographer walked into Vicki Vale on the street and handed her the picture, because there was no digital footprint of such interaction.

Without any more ideas, he puts on his suit and heads out, glad that is patrol night. Perhaps punching criminals will give him some clarity.

Tim is nowhere near closing any of his cases and Gotham is unusually quiet because of course the criminals would choose tonight of all nights to be chill. The night Tim needs a crime. That’s why he’s more than a little thankful when a crackling sound in his comm lets him know someone’s trying to send him a message.

“Hey, hot stuff,” a familiar voice calls, “I have an underground gambling den to dismantle tonight, you want in?”

Red Robin smiles. “Is that a date?”

“I don’t know, is it? I don’t want Red Hood coming after me.”

“Batgirl.”

She laughs shamelessly. He hopes Barbara isn’t listening. Although the alternative would be Wendy listening, and he doesn’t know which one would be worse. Steph’s sense of humor isn’t for everyone and while, Tim doesn’t mind their inside jokes and got used to her eternal flirting, he feels as though those should remain between the two of them only.

“I’m serious, though,” Steph continues. “I don’t think backup is needed per se, but I miss fighting criminals with you. Plus I figured you could use a punching bag or two.”

He grins. He just  really  loves Steph. 

“Send me the details. I’ll meet you there.”

Turns out it’s a pretty standard burst for them. Gambling den covering a massive drug operation, because this is Gotham. Why wouldn’t they use an illegal thing to cover another more illegal thing? That sounded like a great idea. 

He finds Batgirl waiting for him on top of a building. She simply smiles and points at the shady alley down the street. 

“Gentlemen first?” she offers. 

“It’s your case.”

With a nod, she dives towards the ground and Red Robin follows her closely, frowning in confusion when she doesn’t dropkicks any windows. Instead, she casually strolls towards the back of the alley where a suspicious metal door that could easily go unnoticed if it didn’t scream CRIMINAL ACTIVITY HERE. Batgirl knocks at the door and gestures at Red Robin to stay away.

A slit on the door slides open and a confused crook tries unsuccessfully to see who’s there. With both vigilantes’ out of his line of sight, the poor bastard has no option other than opening the door to check. Batgirl swiftly pulls him into a headlock as soon as he walks into view and Red Robin’s grinning face is the last thing the man sees before the pressured applied makes him pass out.

Red Robin doesn’t figure what Steph’s plan is until she cuffs the unconscious bouncer and stands straight, offering her arm.

“You’re so dramatic.” He rolls his eyes, even as he takes it.

“Shush, you think I’m awesome.”

That he does. Especially when the two of them climb down into the basement turned illegal cassino with their arms locked as if they’re a couple. It’s cartoonishly comic how long it takes everyone to realize Red Robin and Batgirl are standing on the entrance, looking around at the 50 different illegal activities happening at once. 

Not as comic as when Batgirl shouts over the music: “Please, don’t stop on our account!”

The gamblers sober enough to freeze in horror. 

“Before we start, anyone wants to just give themselves in?” Red Robin offers.

That’s when guns start firing and all hell breaks loose. 

 The night ends, as it would, with Batgirl and Red Robin walking home a trio of strippers. The women weren’t to blame that their work environment was less than ideal and they certainly didn’t need to be left tied up waiting for the GCPD like the mobsters Steph and Tim beat up tonight.

Red Robin wanted to just watch them from the top ot the buildings and make sure they got home safe, but Batgirl insisted they walked alongside the women. Their costumes don’t look completely out of place near them and Red Robin doesn’t know what to think of that.

For a second, he thinks he hears someone behind them. Everytime he turns around, he finds nothing but an empty alley, so he shrugs if off as him getting hit tooo many times.

While Batgirl excitedly chats with two of the women about their future employment - one of them is in this line of work just to get by, the other genuinely enjoys sensual dancing as a form of art but wishes she could work somewhere better - when the third of them discreetly detaches herself from the group to walk closer to Red Robin.

She still looks tense and guarded, her arms tightly wrapped around herself and Tim wishes he had a jacket to offer her. The way she sideeyes him says she wants to say something, but is too nervous to start. Not wanting to betray his persona, he simply waits, trying to appear as non threatening as possible.

“Thanks a lot for savin’ us, Red Robin,” the woman says finally. “I can’t believe I’m meetin’ ya.”

He gives her a small smile. “I’m just glad you’re safe, ma’am, there’s no need to thank me.”

“I just wanted ta say… I get ya.”

Red Robin tilts his head to the side. “Ma’am?”

“The thing with your man. Must ta’ be hard dating the Red Hood. I know how it is.”

He was… He was getting sympathy from a stripper with bad taste in men.

“There’s nothing gross between Hood and I!” He lets out before he can help himself, his voice a little louder than intended.

The other women startle at his outburst and turn to him, wary. One of them reaches for what is clearly a pocket knife that she thinks is cleverly hidden in her bra.

He sighs. “I’m sorry, ma’am, just… Batgirl, I believe you’ve got things from here. I’m taking off.”

She gives him a concerned look, but ultimately nods. Under Batgirl’s and the three strippers perplexed glares, Red Robin grapples his way out of there.

 Tim wakes up around noon feeling as though he was hit by a truck, as he does when he sleeps longer than three hours a night. He slowly sits up and looks around his messy room, wondering how come he’s feeling so miserable. The smell of food stirs him into some sort of alertness.

Right. He’s not home alone today.

Yawning and scratching his belly, he forces himself to get out of bed. He know that the longer he stays the more likely he is to slip into a coma, his body demanding compensation for years of sleep deprivation. Tim drags his feet towards his kitchen where he finds one of Gotham’s most dangerous vigilantes humming to himself as he makes breakfast. Or Lunch. Brunch. Whatever.

“And here I thought I was the family’s zombie,” Jason says in lieu of good morning.

Tim grumbles something about his brother being too comfortable in Tim’s kitchen, but he doesn’t dare complain. Jason is probably the only person that uses Tim’s stove and one of the perks of having him over is that he does cook. A lot. 

The one disadvantage about having Jason over is…

A knife lodges itself on the counter in front of Tim when he tries to reach for the coffee pot. Tim didn’t even see him throwing it. He glares at his brother.

“Food first. Coffee after,” Jason says. 

“I’m too nauseous to eat, I just woke up.”

Again without breaking eye contact with the pot he’s stirring, Jason blindly reaches for a package of crackers casually left on the counter and hands it to Tim.

Tim makes sure to give him his best rebellious teenager glare before grabbing the stupid crackers and sitting down to eat them. Stupid Jason with his stupid boredom. Tim had forgotten Jason goes into full mom mode when he has nothing else to do and that he’s particularly obnoxious about Tim’s eating habits.

“I consume the necessary calories,” Tim mumbles over his cracker.

“Okay, Damian.”

Tim throws a cracker at him. Jason easily dodges without looking, which is kind of annoying.

After that, the two brothers fall into comfortable silence. Tim knows Jason wants to talk about their plan of action, but he knows Tim is nowhere near awake enough to hold a conversation. Besides, Jason doesn’t like being bothered while he’s cooking anyway.

By the time the food is ready, the crackers worked their magic and Tim no longer feels as though his stomach is ready to puke out its emptiness. He grabs dishes he hadn’t used in quite a while and sets the table for the two of them. The brothers start eating in silence, Tim slowly recovering his sense of self - no wonder he goes for so long without sleeping, he takes too long to reboot when he does - and Jason mindlessly scrolling through his phone. 

Then something on the small screen makes Jason choke on his food. 

Tim quirks an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Hm… Timmy, you may wanna take a look at this.”

“What?” Tim takes Jason’s phone. “Oh, for fuck’s sake !” 

It’s another news article. The picture is fortunately less detailed, just a red and black silhouette against Gotham’s sky that may or may not be Red Robin standing over one of the many gargoyles. The text, however.  

RED ROBIN MAKES HOMOPHOBIC REMARK AND SHOCKS ADMIRER

Gotham’s newest vigilante busted an underground gambling den last night. Despite his heroic deed, his words after the fact were less than commendable. When questioned about his relationship with the Red Hood by one of the women he rescued, the hero allegedly said that there’s “Nothing gross between him and Hood.”

“Personally, I was shocked,” said the woman in question, Krystal Math, 25  years old. “Red Robin became my favorite hero when I heard he also has a dead-beat boyfriend. I was starting to finally see myself in one of those bats, you know? I couldn’t believe when he said being gay is gross. Never meet your heroes, I guess.”

   THE BIRDNEST

WonderWing sent a screenshot.

WonderWing: red robin is cancelled for homophobia, pass it on

Robin: Good. It’s about time we rid ourselves of him.

Cassandra Cain: Little brother does not approve gay rights? :(

yumm: im literally bisexual

spoiler alert: he avoiding the question

in the hood: #redrobinisoverparty

yumm: I hate this fucking family

 Tim hasn’t stopped pacing around the room since he read the most recent article. Those were his exact words by the letter, meaning someone had been listening. He doubts Krystal, bless her heart, was the one going to the news with his “homophobic remark”. 

Having basically given up on getting Tim to calm down, Jason is the one to get the porch door open for Steph. Because apparently she’s been learning from Jason and acquired his hatred for front doors. Steph knows how Tim gets, so she promptly ignores him and gets comfortable on the reading chair to check the article fully.

“This is nuts,” Steph says. “We were being careful. I made sure of it.”

Tim believes her. Batman and Robin are basically public figures at this point, even if they don’t interact with civilians if they can help it. Red Robin and the Signal were heard of and spotted around the city, but not a lot of people really  know  of them. Red Hood was basically a urban legend until recently and Black Bat sill is. Batgirl, however, is known for being a people hero. 

She was, back in Barbara’s time, stopped for a bit with Cass, but Steph embraced the old tradition whole heartedly. She would walk people home late at night to make sure they were safe, wave at little girls in the bus, talk to kidnapping victims until they were under heavy blankets handed by the police. Steph was extroverted and charming and she used that fully as Batgirl like she never could as Spoiler. That being said, she and Barbara always made a point to avoid pictures, security cameras and whatnot. If there was a hero good at hanging with civilians while unnoticed by the media, that hero was Stephanie Brown.

Tim’s phone is buzzing. He ignores it in favor of stomping around some more. 

“Well, something must have slipped your watchful eye,” Jason says, shrugging.

Steph glares at him. “Mine, perhaps, but are you implying someone went unnoticed by Oracle?”

“Well, someone obviously did,” Tim snaps, tossing his phone at the couch in frustration. “What happened after I left, Steph?”

“Nothing,” she says honestly. “I walked the ladies home. Krystal was a bit miffed but she didn’t say anything, so I thought she was just a shipper upset that her OTP wasn’t canon.”

“You think she went to the news after?” Jason suggests.

Steph frowns. “Why would she? She didn’t look like she had media connections exactly.”  

Tim’s phone, that bounced off the couch and fell with a soft thud on the carpet, continues to explode with texts. He sighs and stops to pick it up and finally answer them.

“Appearances can be deceiving,” Jason argues. Then turns to Tim: “You should look into her. I’m gonna check other possible sources.”

“Hm-hum, just a second,” Tim mumbles, typing furiously. “Damian is being a nightmare and asking for help on a case.”

“Wack. Are you telling him to solve his own cases instead of using your intell to impress Bruce?”

Tim glares at Jason.

“Really? C’mon, Timmy, we’ve been over this.”

Stephanie gives them a puzzled look. “You’ve been over… Dami being a nightmare?”

“Jason says that whenever someone is mean to me I should reply by attacking them where hurts the most,” Tim explains.

“He knows all of our weaknesses and he has the quickest thinking,” Jason says, frustrated. “The least he should do is stand up for himself with that knowledge!”

"Kinda rich coming from the guy that tried to kill him," Steph says, quirking an eyebrow.

"Steph," Tim scowls. "He didn't know me then and the pit rage--"

"Timmy," Jason cuts him off. 

Tim sighs. "Besides now I could off him in 20 different ways if he tried any of that shit again. There. Happy, Jason?"

"That's my baby brother."

Steph smiles at him. “You know what? You’re onto something, Jaybird.”

Tim interrupts his walk of worry again to smile a bit. Something about Stephanie and Jason agreeing on something is immensely satisfying.

Still, on the matter at hand, Tim says, “If I go off on Damian, Dick’s gonna get mad…”

“Then go off on Dick as well,” Steph promptly suggests.

Jason high-fives her. “Atta girl. Besides if Dick doesn’t want us to tell Damian to fuck off he has to work harder on teaching him not to be a little shit. Everyone here has a tragic backstory here and we all know Damian goes too far sometimes.”

Tim shakes his head again. “Regardless, Damian’s case will have to wait. We’re gonna go with your plan, Jay. And Steph…”

“Wow, no way, José. I’m just here as an eyewitness. I don’t want to get involved with homophobes and end up shipped with Jason or some shit.”

Tim glares at her. “I was going to offer you some of our leftovers, but since you’re not interested, that’s fine.”

While Jason laughs and Steph protests, he proceeds to look for his laptop, hoping this isn’t going to be a dead end. 

 “This is a dead end,” Tim declares.

From what he can find, Krystal wasn’t even paid for her impromptu interview. Apparently Vicki Vale showed up at her place to confirm the veracity of a story that she heard God knows where. 

Dick is in Bludhaven, but he insisted on facetiming them when he realized his brothers were struggling, even if he mostly just made worried faces from Tim’s phone as Tim, Jason and Steph exchanged notes. As a rule of thumb, Tim doesn’t involve his siblings in his cases since he became Red Robin, but this is definitely an all hands on deck situation. Tim isn’t desperate enough to get Bruce involved, but he’s getting there. Especially when Dick says:

“Babs couldn’t find anything in Vicki’s email or phone. She’s double checking all of Vicki's sources, but so far it’s been no good.”

“We could always get Vale and hang her by the ankles on top of some building until she talks,” Jason suggests. "Let's go old school on her."

Everyone ignores Jason. Tim stands for another mug of coffee. Dick lets out a frustrated sigh. Steph keeps watching all of them from the couch, where she’s been lying down and tossing gummy bears into her mouth for the past half-hour. 

When no one acknowledges him, Jason sighs and stands. “Alright, this’ been fun. I’m going to patrol.”

Dick frowns. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“He can’t vanish,” Steph says. “One thing is crashing Tim’s place to make sure he won’t get ambushed in his down time. If Red Hood goes AWOL he might as well admit he’s working with the Batclan.”

Jason nods. “If I don’t do my job, next thing I know Black Mask takes over my stuff.” 

“Can’t have Black Mask taking over his stuff,” Steph agrees.

Dick glances at Tim as though expecting him to disagree with the plan. Tim lets out a defeated sigh. “He’s right. Just… make sure to find a safe place to change into your gear so no one sees you. If there are any safe places, that is…”

Jason rolls his eyes. Tim knows he’s going full Robbie Downer mode, as Jason likes to call it, but he can’t help it. It’s not often that he finds himself without any ideas. He  should  have been able to solve this already. Since nothing comes to mind, he starts imagining unrealistic scenarios in hopes that they’ll give him some insight outside of the box.  AU in which I was never shipped with my brother by some nosey reporter. AU in which I went out Damian instead of Jason that night.

Tim groans in frustration. “Why did it have to be Jason? We could get away with me having a thumb war with literally anyone. If it was Batman out there, this wouldn’t be that much of a problem.”

“Maybe if you hung out with all your brothers and not just Jason there wouldn’t be as many rumors about you and Red Hood,” Dick mumbles.

Tim glares at the phone. 

“Really? You wanna go there? You wanna talk favoritism, Richard? Because you’ve been favoring Damian for-freaking-ever.”

“Drag him!” Jason cheers. 

“Tim,” Dick says, looking genuinely upset, “I love all-”

“Save it,” Steph cuts in. “We all have favorites Dick, there is no use denying it.”

Because Dick’s eyebrows are knitted in confusion, Tim clarifies: “Bruce’s favorite is Cass, yours is Damian, Jason’s is… I don’t know, his guns. Steph is my favorite, unfortunately. Steph’s favorite is Cass, Cass’ favorite is Duke, Duke doesn’t have favorites, he’s the only good person in this family, and Damian’s is also you.”

Steph nods. “You did it! You broke the Bat Family dynamics to its bare essentials!”

“And that is why Tim is my favorite. After my guns,” Jason adds.

“Jason, we do not rate our siblings.”

“That’s why you’re in last place, Dick.”

Ignoring Dick’s enraged noises, Tim sets his mug aside. “I’m going patrolling, even if today isn't my turn. Solo this time. Hopefully Red Hood and Red Robin being separate out there will help the rumors die down a bit.”

No one has a better idea - Tim’s least favorite sentence - so that’s what they do. 

 It’s another infuriatingly quiet night.

Red Robin stops a couple of muggings, scares the crap out of some drug dealers. At some point, he considers contacting Poison Ivy and asking if she has any corrupt CEO she wants help with. He could, you know. It’d stop Ivy from killing someone and on his last run with Harley Quinn she did let slip that Tim was Ivy’s favorite Robin. 

He almost falls mid swing at the memory, thinking he might be onto something, but then he remembers Harley hadn’t particularly recognized Red Robin as the third Robin. She was just ranting about how the new tiny Robin had no sense of humor and Ivy missed the last one. Besides of course Harley Quinn wasn’t feeding Vicki Vale some BatFanfic. Tim’s brain must be really burnt out if that’s the best hot take it can come up with. 

It’s almost 3am and he’s taking a pair of muggers that can’t be much older than Tim to the police. He’s about ready to call if a night when someone shouts:

“Red Robin!” 

He looks on instinct and his stomach drops when he sees Vicki Vale running towards him.  Crap.

“Red Robin, can I get a statement?”

He keeps walking. He’s just one dirty alley away from GCPD, otherwise he’d just tie the stupid muggers to his back and would use his grappling hook to get out of the situation, grapple safety be damned. The muggers gingerly attempt to hide their faces as the reporter runs to them swinging a digital recorder. Vicki acts as though she can’t see them.

“Red Robin, what do you have to say about the rumors of your relationship with the Red Hood?”

The rumors you created?  Red Robin quickens his pace and the muggers trip over themselves. He stares straight ahead, pretending he doesn’t notice the woman basically running in heels to keep up with him. 

“Are you ashamed of it? Is it because he’s a criminal or because he’s a man?”

Red Robin wonders if the muggers would walk the rest of the way and turn themselves in if he asked nicely.

“Don’t bother, lady,” one of the muggers says. “He’s a nasty bigot.”

The other mugger  nods and the two of them are wearing matching pouty expressions. Now Tim just feels bad. He didn’t become a hero for the recognition and he’s not in the business of doing PSAs like Superman, but he doesn’t want the strange socially woke criminal youth of Gotham to think they’re being arrested by a homophobe.

“I have no problem with two men in a relationship, I’m bisexual,” he tells the muggers. “Still, I’m not dating Red Hood. Just because I’m bi it doesn’t mean I’m dating every male vigilante I run into.”

At that, the two crooks look mildly surprised and suddenly they seem to feel a bit better about being arrested. Would you look at that. 

Red Robin delivers them to the police, painfully aware that Vicki Vale is nowhere to be found anymore. He feels like he’s going to pay dearly for being too prideful to let himself be mistaken for a heterosexual person. 

 Lo and behold, Twitter, on that very same morning.

@Gotham_Gazette:

Red Robin hints that he might be bisexual. “No, I’m not dating the Red Hood, just because I’m bi it doesn’t mean I’m dating every male vigilante,” said the hero on the rumors about his relationship.

        @dgraysonman hints??? he literally said he’s bi smh

        @stephssss wow only the male vigilantes? biphobic. let red robin date batgirl too

        @babsgeez be gay do crime, be bi serve justice

        @thomascommaduke no cops at pride, only Red Robin using a bi flag as cape.

“Timmy…” Jason starts.

“Don’t. Just leave me alone to die.”

“That’s fair, have a nice day.”

 At this point, Tim is surprised Bruce hasn’t intervened. As unaware of social media as Bruce can be, he’s always on the look for anything that might compromise their secret identities. Tim pulls two all-nighters in a row doing detective work and still makes no progress on his search for the person that sent Vicki that picture and overheard his conversation with Krystal. He fully expects Batman to jump him on his next patrol and give him a lecture.

When he comments that to Jason, he gets a confused look in response.

“You didn’t get a lecture? Bruce was the one that told me first. I had to hear about being careless for 20 minutes before I got home and could take off my comm.”

Tim frowns in confusion. Bruce had talked to him once or twice after the news got out and he didn’t comment anything on it. 

“That’s Batman’s psychological profiling,” someone suggests. 

Tim almost jumps out of his skin when Steph casually walks into the living room with a bowl of chips. 

“What are you doing here? And are those my clothes?”

Steph shrugs in the sweater that clearly doesn’t belong to her. “Jason and I are doing movie night.”

“Movie night,” Jason mocks. “She’s been here for the past two days. Did you seriously not notice, Tim?”

Tim’s jaw drops. 

Steph sighs and her expression turns guilty. “Fine. My mom is out of town for the week and Jason is a better cook than I am. Is it a crime to bum off your ex-boyfriend and his bizarrely talented in the kitchen brother?”

Before Tim can say anything, Jason interrupts: “What were you saying about Batman, Steph?”

She heads to the couch and starts looking for the remote, her feet propped on the coffee table. “B knows Jay will just shrug it off and deal with the consequences, hence the need of a lecture. If he annoys Jason, he’ll stop and reflect on it, even if out of rage. He knows Tim’s already overthinking and working his butt off to fix it, so he doesn’t want to add any pressure.”

Both Jason and Tim stand in dumbfounded silence.  Since when does Steph know Bruce so well?

She raises her gaze when the quietness stretches and quirks an eyebrow at them. “What? Am I wrong?”

“Hm. No. That’s pretty much what we’ve been doing,” Jason admits, if a big begrudgingly. “That’s annoying though.”

Steph simply makes a dismissive gesture and pats the sit beside her. “Tim, you need a break. Wanna join us?”

Tim hesitates. On one hand, the fact that Bruce trusts him that much is a tad touching… and knowing it makes him feel he has to solve this as soon as possible. On another… it’s kind of annoying that Bruce knows him so well and yet doesn’t think about offering any assistance. Tim is not stubborn enough to refuse a helping hand when he’s on a pinch.

“You’re not going to solve anything if you’re hallucinating from sleep deprivation, Timbers,” Jason points. “Besides we’re watching Avatar.”

“Fine,” Tim says.

If for nothing else, just to prove to Bruce that he’s  not an overworker and he can slack off in the absence of a parental figure.

Tim falls asleep in the middle of the second episode. Steph and Jason vow to take him to bed once they’re sure he’s completely out, but they only last until the end of the first season. The three sleep soundly on the couch for good eight hours and regret dearly when they wake up with necks too sore to fight crime for at least a day.

 Consequences. They always come.

Almost a week goes by in which the rumors are but an annoyance to Jason and a source of stress to Tim - but almost anything can stress Tim if he tries hard enough, so that’s not saying anything. Jason is still staying at Tim’s, but he’s considering going back to his own place when they go for three days with no new article and nothing unusual has happened. 

Until it does. 

It’ a rainy night Tim is going over reports for the next WE meeting when he hears a noise coming from the balcony. His stomach gives a familiar twist when he recognizes Batgirl hunched over the weight of one Red Hood. 

He rushes to her aid, already feeling nauseous. There’s no blood in sight but whatever happened must be serious if Jason is willing to let Batgirl give him a piggyback ride. Tim lets them drip water all over the floor and, in his panic, has half a mind to appreciate that Batgirl’s boots have enough traction that she doesn’t slip.

“What on Earth…”

“The most ridiculous thing,” Steph bables as she and Tim drag a very dizzy Jason to the couch. She then starts ranting so fast Bart Allen would be proud. “He was doing his thing as usual, but some of his people turned on him and there was an ambush and so many flipping people against one poor Hood and good god that guy shot his helmet at point-blank which,  damn , that was so stupid, of course the freaking helmet is bullet proof, it just ricocheted and…”

“Steph, calm down,” Tim interrupts. “Jason, can you report?”

When he gingerly attempts to take off his helmet, Steph takes over and undoes the safety measures before carefully removing it. There is a dent on the back part where he had been presumably shot. 

“Hm,” Jason grunts, squinting even behind his domino mask. “Ambush. Shot. Concussion. Very concussion. Ankle hurts? Prolly not broken, tho. Also stabbed?”

Tim nods. “Steph, get the medical supplies. Where’s the stab wound, Jay?”

Jason points to his thigh and there is an improvised bandage keeping him from losing too much blood. Considering how well done it is, Tim figures it’s Steph’s work. He nods and starts checking his brother’s vitals and making sure there aren’t other serious wounds.

When she comes back with the supplies Tim needs, Steph has her cowl down and a somber expression. She turns off the lights for Jason’s sake, the only source of light left on being the lamp near where Tim is already ripping off a piece of Jason’s pants to have better access to his wound. Steph sits by Jason’s side and grabs his hand, much to Tim’s surprise. He’s too busy taking care of the stab wound to ask, but he doesn’t have to. Steph breaks the silence:

“I’m so sorry, Jason.”

Jason gives her a confused look. “You saved my ass?”

“Yes, but…” Steph sighs and turns to Tim. “Babs is with the Birds of Prey tonight, so I was on my own. I was messing around with my comm frequency when I accidentally got into Jason’s. I heard the mess and it sounded like he was in trouble so I panicked. I went to get him and… Well, if there was any doubt that he’s working with the Bats, there isn’t now. It was too obvious that I was protecting him.”

Jason squeezes her hand. “Hm. Pigs.”

“Right. Then the police arrived and instead of leaving right away I stopped to make sure Jason wasn’t bleeding to death. More than a few cops saw me patching him up.”

Tim sighs. Well, shit. 

“It’s not your fault, Steph,” Tim says. “I mean… he literally wears a bat on his chest. People were bound to find out it isn’t just to stick it to Batman.”

“Is too,” Jason mumbles.

Tim ignores him. “The situation isn’t ideal, but we all prefer people knowing Red Hood is associated with the Bats than him being dead.”

“I died before.”

“We know, Jay.”

“Do not recommend.”

“We know, Jay.”

Steph fidgets a bit, still looking guilty, but ultimately nods. Tim is about to start stitching Jason’s wound closed when she says: “There’s more. You, hm, you know Renee Montoya?”

“The one valid pig,” Jason says. “I like her.”

“She was there. She helped a ton keep the other cops away from us before we could escape,” Steph says. “I think she wanted to check on Jason and…”

Tim stops moving. He knows Montoya, worked with her before and she’s a nice woman. That being said, she doesn’t have any connections to Hood. Why would she… Oh. The gay rumors. Damn wlw/mlm solidarity.

“What happened?” Tim asks, already fearing the worst.

“Hmmm, we’ll tell you, but I’m concussed, so you have to promise you won’t be mad.”

“Jason.”

Jason sighs. “Well. She asked about our relationship and… Hm. I might have told her we’re brothers.”

Tim stares at them. Steph is cringing and Jason is too out of it to care. At this point… Tim starts laughing, making the other two - even the concussed one - frown in worry.

“Aw, man,” Tim says between chuckles.  “What the fuck, am I right? I’m too old for this. Who cares? Not me! Fuck it. Fuckety fuck fucky-fuck.”

“I think we broke him,” Steph whispers even as Tim resumes stitching his brother.

They went from not-sure-if-real to a freaking cop knowing about their family in the span of a week. Tomorrow #TimDrakeIsRedRobin could be trending on Twitter and Tim wouldn’t care. Not anymore. Let them come.Literally everyone in his friend circle is a vigilante, a hero or a criminal at this point, he doesn’t even care about endangering anyone.

 It takes actually two days for it to hit the news. He’s alone in his office when Tam texts him a link to Gotham Gazette online. Judging by the lack of other words, Tim figures she’s cutting ties with him again.  

The newest article has no actual pictures, but a sketch of Red Hood standing with his guns pointed at the viewer and Red Robin standing behind him, his face only partially turned. The thing looks more like superhero fanart than an official sketch, but that never stopped Vicki Vale before.

 VIGILANTE FAMILY? by Vicki Vale

Red Robin, one of Gotham’s many masked vigilantes, was cause of intrigue recently. Many  people noticed the hero doing his work around Red Hood’s territory, something not even Batman dares on the regular. Speculation turned into a craze of theories when both red-themed vigilantes were caught sitting on a roof sharing a meal from Batburger and many thought perhaps there was more than your regular vigilante team up. 

Turns out the hero and the mob boss aren’t lovers, against popular belief. When questioned about the nature of their relationship, Red Hood snapped and confirmed one of the less popular theories: the two men are, in fact, related. “Red is right and he should say it,” said Red Hood to a bewildered policewoman. “Of course he’d say it’s [REDACTED] gross, he’s my little brother.” When asked about the conversation overheard by our reporter, the policewoman in question refused to give any more details and requested to remain anonymous.

It’s hard to be sure how such development came to be. The Red Hood has been active in Gotham for years as a mob boss and, more recently, a vigilante and ally to Gotham’s bats. While Red Robin is a newer vigilante, could it be that he was trained by the Red Hood? And how do the two brothers fit with Gotham’s oldest vigilantes? Unlike his older counterpart, Red Robin has been often spotted working side-by-side with the likes of Batgirl and Robin, making some question whether Red Robin is distancing himself from his criminal brother. However, sources spotted Hood being aided by Batgirl more recently. Could it be that his former sidekick is bringing Red Hood closer to the side of justice? More on the Red Twins as the story develops.

 THE BIRDNEST

spoiler alert: RED TWINS

WonderWing: R E D  T W I N S

send me a Signal: ~ * R E D T W I N S * ~

in the hood: uhhhh my bad?

yumm: dis is great

yumm: now im hoods stranged sidekick

yumm: i fucking hate u jason.

in the hood: hey, if you didn't want to be my sidekick you should've picked another color

yumm: screw u u dont own the color red

in the hood: I was born first

yumm: u died first 2

WonderWing: Tim!

spoiler alert: oof 

send me a Signal: wow Tim that was too far

in the hood: I’ve never been prouder to be your brother I taught you so well Timmy

send me a Signal: … I stand corrected. I sometimes forget everyone in this family is clinically insane

 “Hey Tim. There is discourse about you and Jason now.”

Tim lets out a whimper. 

“So apparently some people still ship you two. But those people are being cancelled because shipping incest is problematic.”

“Steph, are you planning on going home? I noticed you took one of my drawers.”

“There’s fanart of you two.”

“I don’t want to see it. That'll scar me for life."

“I’m DMing it to you. By the way there is civilian Red Robin fanart and for some reason they made you blonde.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I guess it’s more fun to ship people with different hair colors. Should we dye your hair?”

“Why.”

“That way when you finally hook up with Co-”

“Finish that sentence and I kick you out of this apartment for good.”

 With the cat out of the bag, they start doing different damage control. 

Red Hood is now openly working with the Bats, so Steph and Cass dismantle Hood’s former safehouses around Gotham which mostly means getting Jason’s books and bringing them to Tim’s place. Jason suggests the places should be converted into something useful for the neighborhood, such as libraries or a community center of sorts, so Tim starts working on what needs to be done by WE to make that reality. Tim also makes sure Bruce pretends not to know Jason is using a lot of money illegally acquired to getting himself new hideouts.

They dance around the topic a lot and nothing is really said until Steph brings it up. Steph, whose mother returned days ago. Steph, that definitely doesn’t want Jason to leave, because apparently she suddenly has a new favorite ex-Robin. Steph, that is currently eating homemade waffles in Tim’s kitchen, even though Tim is 83% sure she didn’t sleep over last night.

“Why doesn’t Jason just moves in?” she asks.

When neither boy replies immediately, she continues:

“I mean, it’s more practical, isn’t it? Tim’s place is already secure, he has a hero hideout downstairs and you two already work together all the damn time. Tim’s office can be converted into a room for Jason, because, let’s face it, I spend most of my free time here and Tim never uses it. I once saw him take his laptop with him to the bathroom and then return to the kitchen table instead of using the office. We wouldn’t even have to take the shelves, because Jason would fill them.”

They exchange a look. 

“You know, she’s right,” Tim says. He shrugs like it’s no big deal, really.

He isn’t nervous at all while Jason stands there, his expression unreadable. It’s not like he enjoys way too much having his brother around and got way too comfortable with having a roommate and a half (if you count Steph) on the past weeks. Tim doesn’t care, he’s cool like that.

“I mean. I guess having you as a roommate beats living alone,” Jason finally says.

Tim fails to hide his grin. “We can start working in turning the office into a room this weekend.”

Jason smiles back and messes his hair. 

Tim’s first theory is that Steph wants Jason off the couch so she has an official place to sleep, because apparently Jason’s cooking is that good.

His second theory is that she noticed how happy Tim is to finally share a house with family. The Wayne Manor had been home for a while, sure, but despite Alfred’s best efforts the place wasn’t the coziest. It wasn’t the same as sharing an apartment with a brother, bickering about sharing chores and openly discussing their night jobs before shifting the conversation to a video game they want to buy. Sharing actual meals and making sure one another wouldn’t end up dead in a ditch.

Tim decides to stick with his first theory, after all it’s easier for Steph to make Red Twins jokes if Jason and Tim are under the same roof. 

 Even without new gossip, the idea of vigilante brothers is too interesting for the general public to let go. Tim and Jason start acting mostly in the shadows and having no interaction with civilians at all and they’re still the topic of Gotham’s variety shows and online discussions from time to time.

Because they don’t slip again, Bruce has yet to bring up the subject with Tim, but the mystery remains. Who listened to all those conversations and how? Tim keeps expecting the other shoe to drop, to get a message demanding ransom for their secret identities, something,  anything , but nothing happens. Nothing freaking happens and he’s never been this frustrated.

That is, until, it happens. The ultimate betrayal. 

Dick’s next visit coincides with the time Cass is over for the week. Because Bruce is secretly a sap in the wrongest way, he suggests they all go patrolling together. Such great family time. 

Despite their initial protests, they must all be the same kind of freak, because they all agree. They split up soon to cover more ground, but keep their comms on so it still feels they’re all in a big menacing group. 

Red Robin is somewhere near the crime alley when Nightwing announces he noticed some of Two Face’s goons getting into a building. He checks his wrist pad for their locations and notices Nightwing isn’t that far from where he is. The next closest person is Red Hood.

“I’ll take care of it,” Nightwing says over the comms.

“Negative. Two Face himself might be there,” Batman intervenes. “Wait for backup. The Red Twins--” And he stops himself as though realizing what he’s saying.

“Batman!?” Red Robin gasps in a betrayed voice. 

Nightwing is already having a laughter fit over the comms almost drowning the sound of Bruce’s disappointed sigh.

“I’m sorry, Red,” his father says and he even forgets to use Batman’s scary voice. “Nightwing and Batgirl have been saying it so much that-”

“Save it,” Hood groans. “And stop laughing, Jerkwing!”

The worst part is knowing that, even if he solves the mystery, the Red Twins thing is probably going to follow him to his untimely death. 

 Tim all but lost hope when he gets an email from Barbara. “To my favorite Red Twin” says the subject. He groans, but opens the email, because one does not simply ignore a message from Oracle. Then he almost drops his phone. 

Attached there is a grainy picture of a young woman talking to Vicki Vale. The image had certainly been enhanced digitally as it’s probably from a shitty security camera, but you can still see the woman’s face clear as day. She looks like she’s handing Vicki something, her shoulders tense and her expression wary. The body of the message is, most likely, the woman’s personal info. Her name is Lisa Harris. She is 27 years old. She lives somewhat close to Jason’s territory. And, most importantly, Babs added to the end of the message:

The picture is from the night before the Red Twins article ;) Vicki didn’t talk to anyone other than her coworkers and our pal Lisa on that night.

Jason comes out of his room when Tim trips on the coffee table in his hurry to stand. “What’s up?”

Tim hands him the phone. Jason’s eyes grow wide. “I don’t care about subtlety. We’re both going after this chick.”

“Agreed.”

“Should we wait for Steph? She’s gonna be mad that we went when she’s in class.”

“Jason, Steph doesn’t live here.”

“Doesn’t she, though?”

“We’re not waiting for Steph. She’s not involved.”

“Aight, but when she’s bitching I’m gonna say I remembered her and you said no.”

 They leave their bikes behind first for stealth sake, but mostly because the place they’re going isn’t that far from their place. Tim shivers at the thought of someone so dangerous living near him. He wonders what kind of information Lisa might have gathered and for how long she’d been watching them. Is she a new enemy? Perhaps a member of the league?

The shitty building she lives in doesn’t suggest that. It’s just another grimy Gotham apartment complex that didn’t age well. The place they’re looking for doesn’t have a balcony, only a useless fire escape so rusty it would probably crumble under any sign of flames. It’s a perfect hiding spot, because nothing suggests a villain lives there. It’s just a building, home to many underpaid bachelors, nothing too suspicious about it.

Red Robin reminds Hood of that before they nod to each other and split. Jason goes into the building with a ton of confidence, for such a big guy trying to go unnoticed. Tim uses his grapple to reach the right window, not trusting that fire escape for even a second. 

The window is open and he finds himself looking at a place not that different from the one Jason lived before moving in with Tim. Mismatched furniture of the living suggests whoever lives there didn’t have money for fancy decor or that they don’t mind how the place looks. However, something about the place looks… well, lived in. It doesn’t look like a criminal temporary hideout, but rather someone’s place.

As he hesitates, a woman walks in. The woman of the picture, Lisa Harris. Her long blonde hair had been tied in a knot on top of her head and she’s getting ready for bed, if her oversized T-shirt and pajama pants say anything. She’s holding a bowl of cereal.

She reminds him of Steph and that causes him to hesitate for a second. What if this girl is innocent? Their evidence is circumstantial. Maybe she just happened to talk to Vicki Vale at the wrong time.

That hesitation costs him dearly. The woman appears to feel his eyes burning the back of her head. She glances at the window and their gazes meet.

Crap. 

Lisa inhales sharply and drops her cereal bowl. Before he can reassure her of anything, she’s bolting for the door. He pats himself in the back for his backup plan, because just as she opens the door she runs right into Red Hood’s chest. Lisa stumbles backwards, her expression horrified.

“Knock knock?” Hood quips.

She lets out a squeak and guilt makes Tim wince. Once again he opens his mouth to tell her they’re not here to hurt her when she… vanishes. 

She simply disappears right in front of their eyes.

“Shit, she’s a meta,” Hood hisses. 

Red Robin’s thoughts fly a thousand miles per hour, finally making the conexions he stupidly missed for so long. Of  freaking course.  He was so used to dealing with a bunch of idiots in colorful costumes and assassins and whatnot he hadn’t taken in consideration that ninjas aren’t the only exceptional enemies they face. And if his theory is correct. 

“She’s still here,” he says. “If I’m right, she can turn invisible. That’s how she’s been listening to private conversations.”

A soft gasp follows his statement and Hood is moving almost as fast as Red Robin’s insights. An invisible woman is still solid and her clumsy footsteps are still audible, so on the moment that follows Jason seems to embrace air. 

“No!” She cries out, flashing in and out of sight for a few seconds.

“Careful,” Red Robin warns.

Hood is wearing his helmet, but Tim knows him well enough to know his brother is glaring at him as if saying  duh?  

Lisa tries to stomp on Hood’s feet, she squirms and grunts, but he doesn't budge. Apparently invisibility is her only power and she looks terrified.

“It’s okay!” Red Robin hurries to say. “We’re not going to hurt you!”

She turns her frantic gaze to him. Her brown eyes suddenly become watery. 

Shit.

“Hood, let her go,” Red Robin says. 

“Seriously?”

“Yes. You’re not going to try to escape again, are you, Lisa? We just want to ask a few questions.”

He wishes they had waited for Steph.

Lisa hesitates, paralysed, but slowly nods. Her eyes never leave Red Robin once their gazes met, not even to check whether Hood is going to let her go or not.

“Hood,” he calls again. 

Groaning something about being too trusting, Jason lets her go. He is gentle about it, too, making sure to let her feet touch the floor carefully instead of simply dropping her. Regardless, as soon as she’s left to stand on her own legs, her knees give in and she drops on the floor. At that, Tim can tell even Jason is hiding guilt behind his helmet.

He shakes his head to regain focus and crouches in front of the woman. If at this point they just apologize and leave, they’ll have traumatizes this poor woman for nothing.

“Lisa Harris,” he starts. “That’s your name, right?”

She trembles when he says her name and that should have been the first red flag. He blames it on the stressful situation and moves on.

“I’m sorry for startling you,” he says. He keeps his expression empty, even if he again can tell Jason is cringing at the understatement. “No one here is going to hurt you. We just want some answers. Is that alright?”

Her hands are balled tightly on her lap as though she’s making a lot of effort not to move them - perhaps to punch them, defend herself? But again she doesn’t look prone to start a fight.

“You’re him,” she whispers, her voice heavy with… something. It almost sounds like affection. “You’re really the Red Robin. In my room.”

That  red flag is harder to ignore. He is about to check for other shock symptoms when Hood calls.

“Hmm… Red? Are you seeing that?”

He follows his brother’s gaze… and his chin drops. On the wall opposite to the door hangs a giant corkboard. On the corkboard, held by black and red tacks there are dozens of Red Robin pictures. Some blurry, some taken from so far that you can barely be sure it’s really Red Robin or not, the infamous picture of the thumb war (demon horns had been disturbingly scribbled on Jason on that one) and… He doesn’t have words. 

“You’re my hero!” Lisa claims.

“Is he? I couldn’t tell,” Hood says.

Red Robin punches his knee, which is all he can reach from where he is, and turns his attention to the woman in front of him.

“Lisa, for how long have you been following me?”

“Since you saved me,” she says. “Well… Hm. You didn’t save me. But you stopped a heist at the Central Bank a couple of months ago and I was there. I could've died without you.”

Aw, crap on a stick.

“Do you… do you know who I am?”

“You’re Red Robin,” she repeats.

“He’s asking about his identity behind the mask.”

The way she glares at Jason doesn’t suggest she had been shaking in fear moments ago. “He’s Red Robin,” she insists. “I don’t need anything else.”

“If you don’t know… how do you have so many…” Hood gestures vaguely at her creepy corkboard.

“I did detective work,” she says and glances at Red Robin as if expecting a pat on the back. “I noticed you always go on patrol on mondays, wednesdays, fridays and saturdays. Then if I wandered around long enough… It was just a matter of hard work and bit of luck, really.”

Damn. Now that Tim thinks about it, the one time he went on patrol spontaneously was also the night Vicki Vale found him by coincidence rather than magically knowing what happened. 

“Fuuuuck,” Hood groans. “I told B patrol schedule was a dumb idea!” Then, in a deep growly voice, “ It’s a matter of efficiency Hood, don’t be paranoid. Who’s paranoid now, Batloser?”

“Not the time, Hood.”

“Right. Proceed.”

Red Robin sighs. “Why did you sell my pictures to Vicki Vale?”

At that, Lisa looks suddenly ashamed. “I.. I’m sorry. I thought… I thought you were  involved  with  him  and I panicked. I thought… I thought seeing what it would do to your reputation would make you see that he’s not good enough for you.”

“Rude.”

“Hood.”

“What? She is.”

“I was trying to learn more about him, you know? I was. When I found out he was your brother, I realized you had no option, right? Family is family. I even told the news again to clean your record.”

So he had a stalker. A stalker concerned about his love life, no less, that’s… great. Just great. Of all the scenarios he considered they’d have to face, this is not one of them. Before he decides what to do, however, Lisa speaks up again. 

“You sound so… nice.”

Tim stares at her in confusion, unsure whether to thank her or not. Regardless, she didn’t sound like she was complimenting him.

“I mean… aren’t I supposed to be?”

“No! I mean… you’re… you’re dark and brooding and serious and you don’t waste time with civilians unless forced…” She frowns and Tim figures she’s thinking about the night with the strippers. “You’re… the night.”

Jason snorts. Tim punches his knee again. “Lisa, I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Batman, not me.”

Her expression twists in such fury both vigilantes prepare to restrain her, but instead of directing her anger at them, Lisa scoffs.

“Don’t  get me started on Batman! All that crap about being mysterious and working alone? Then he joins the freaking Justice League? Just… Batman, in the middle of a bunch of rainbow wearing clowns. And then… all those freaking kids. Why does he have so many kids?”

“Lady, we ask ourselves that everyday,” Tim admits.

Lisa is wearing the same expression Krystal had when Red Robin denied his relationship with Hood.

“I’m sorry, Lisa, I’m grateful that you admire me, but you can’t keep following me like this.”

Her eyes teary again, Lisa swallows dry. “Clearly, if you’re  sorry  about it.”

They can’t exactly take her to Arkham for taking pictures. Tim feels less bad about the whole thing when the woman stands and starts telling them in a  very loud voice  to get the hell out of her house.

“Fine,” Jason says, heading to the corkboard. “But I’m taking this.”

“Take it,” she shouts. “I don’t need it anymore. You’re  just like Batman!”

And that’s how Red Hood and Red Robin find themselves standing in the middle of a dusty hallway, Hood with a conspiracy board under his arm. 

Well, that happened. 

 In the end, Steph  was  furious about them going to the stalker’s house by themselves, but there was not a lot she could do except doodle on every picture of the stalker board. 

There must be something very wrong with their sense of humor, because their text group becomes a mess of jokes about the stalker Robin being stalked. At that Tim has no problem exercising Jason’s lessons in holding grudges and refuses to help them with any of their cases unless they stop it. The thing is that all of them find the whole thing hilarious.

All of them except Duke.

“Give it a while,” Tim tells him. “You’re the most recent acquisition to the family. In due time your idea of funny will be just as warped as ours.”

“Hm. When was the last time you slept, Timmy?” Duke asks.

“Tuesday.”

“Today is Tuesday.”

“Hahahaha yeah.”

“... Jaaaaasooon! Come over here! Tim is going into The Ring territory! Do something about it!”

Bruce doesn’t find it funny either. He isn’t happy that there’s a deranged meta he didn’t know about, but Tim thinks that was the least surprising part of the whole ordeal. He reckons a lot of metas doesn’t want to be a hero or a villain, they’re just regular people that live regular lives and happened to win in the metagene lottery. 

Or… well. In Lisa’s case, not so regular.

And that’s why upon hearing the story for the first time, Bruce  completely freaks out. He starts considering possibilities from scaring the woman as Batman - “That’s a terrible idea, dad, you heard she likes that shit,” says Dick over facetime - or having her arrested - “Father, having bad taste in men is hardly a crime. She has yet to do anything to harm Timothy” Damian helpfully reminds him - and finally to fill out a restraining order - “For who, Karen?” Jason snaps. “Red Robin? Or you want to walk into that nut job and tell her she’s not allowed near Tim Drake-Wayne?”

Long story short, it’s chaos. Tim has had enough of a crazy night, so he sits back near the training area of the cave and sips the tea Alfred made him. Bruce is doing Tim’s stressed out circuit, pacing back and forth around the cave while his children follow him - Damian is holding the phone higher than his head so Dick can talk to Bruce at eye level - and they try to talk him out of doing anything stupid.

Most of them, anyway. It looks like Duke is definitely looking into the possibility of a restraining order.

Cass detaches herself from the mess and heads towards Tim. She looks calm, as Cass always does, and some of that calm transfers to him. When she takes a seat by his side, he smiles at her.

“Okay?” she asks. 

Tim shrugs. “Weirded out, mostly. I’ll be fine.”

She points at her then signs Tim’s house as a question. She’s asking him if he wants her to come over.

While Cass is one hell of a bodyguard, Tim thinks of Steph, who’s most definitely playing with his video games back at home, and of Jason, whose schedule mostly matches Tim’s, hence he is, more often than not, at one shout of distance. Tim can’t think of any place that feels safer than his home right now.

“I’m fine. Jay and Steph are taking care of me. I’ll just have to be twice as careful during patrol,” he says.

Cass nods, satisfied. She gives him a forehead kiss and leans against his side. The two of them watch their family yell at each other for the next ten minutes, matching serene smiles on their faces.

 Bruce settles for keeping Lisa under occasional watch. 

Barbara stalks her online and finds that Lisa has left a Red Robin fanclub (Tim did not know those existed) and closed all of her threads on the Red Robin subreddit (Tim knew about those, but kept his distance), making it seem that learning that Red Robin is just a polite-ish kid really killed her love. 

Bruce says he’ll keep tabs on her because he know she’s a meta, it’s not like he’s being overprotective, he totally knows Tim can take care of himself, really. 

Other than that, Bruce is way too happy about Jason’s new living arrangement. He even  almost smiles. 

 Tim… is fine. The whole thing is creepy, for sure, but he finds out that his siblings making so many jokes about it makes it easier to handle. Yay for their unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

He doesn’t think he will ever be okay with media, though. It’s annoying enough that he has to deal with reporters as Tim Drake-Wayne, he definitely doesn’t need the attention as Red Robin. 

Luckily for him, his siblings help him with that too. One time he’s wrapping a gang bust with Nightwing when a reporter comes running towards them, begging for a few answers. Red Robin cringes inwardly realizing there are no close buildings to use his grapple, but before he can say anything, Nightwing squeezes his shoulder. 

“Go, Timmy. I’ve got this.”

Tim smile. “Thanks, Dick.”

And he leaves the silent and swift way only a Bat can do. 

 Things are great. As great as they can be in Gotham, at least. Tim wakes up at 9am - an early time for a vigilante, but he got at least 5 hours of sleep, so that’s something - and heads to the kitchen. He finds Steph (who still swears she doesn’t live with them) and Jason bickering over pancakes they’re making. Smiling to himself, Tim mumbles a good morning and starts washing the dirty dishes from last night.

The peaceful morning is interrupted by Steph’s phone buzzing. She use a paper towel to clean her hands before checking it and…

“Uh… Timbers?” she calls.

He freezes, the pan he’s washing suddenly forgotten. “What now?”

Steph is trembling with contained laughter when she hands him the phone. Duke just sent her a link to a news article. Tim clicks and finds himself staring at the headline RIVALRY BETWEEN HEROES? followed by a clear picture of Nightwing and a blurry shot of Red Robin.

The article follows:

After dealing with an infamous gang of contrabandists that operated near Gotham’s harbor, Nightwing and Red Robin went their separate ways without much courtesy. Despite the short collab, it appears that Red Robin didn’t appreciate Nighwing’s help, his farewell words being a sarcastic “thanks” followed by calling Bludhaven’s hero a “dick”.

Tim raises his eyes to the other two. Steph is hiding her face into the crook of Jason’s neck, her shoulders still trembling a bit. Having read the article over Steph’s shoulder, Jason is biting his lip.

Tim deadpans: “This is the funniest shit that ever happened to me.”

The three of them explode in laughter and they cackle for a good minute, until the three of them are breathless and their cheeks hurt.

“I-I want to print that and frame it,” Steph manages between giggles. “Let’s hang it on the living room.”

“Good… ahaha… Good work, Timbers,” Jason says, smiling wide. “For that, you can have extra pancakes.”

Tim is still grinning when he goes back to his dish duty. Maybe being under the media attention isn't so bad after all.