#DYING LMFAOOOO

[general-kalani]

"Hate to be Vincent right about now."

[general-kalani]

"Oh me working with a bird I tamed since they were a fledgling is not comparable to you working alongside Angel? What a double-standard."

"I did not just hear what I think I just heard. Don't try and deep throat it or stick it up your ass. If you want to be turned into a kebab that's how you do it... What am I doing with my life arguing with a ten year old."

general-kalani​:

“We’ve been working alongside each other for years and I’m the one with a weird ‘relationship’ while you publicly called yourself ‘daddy’? Yeah I’m definitely the one with issues.”

“You could’ve but you didn’t that means I’m better than you. Hope you’re not looking at a tentacle though I don’t want to know what you’d do with that in your free time.”

“You can’t stand there and tell me that you work alongside a bird, with a straight face, and not expect me to laugh at you. 

And there aren’t really any official applications that those tentacles were good for. Personal use, though? Whole ‘nother story.”

[slvttyplum]

No bc female porn got me feeling a different type of way too and I’m straight 😭

y’all are NOT straight LMFAOOO. cause why does two women fucking get you wet 😭

[jungkook97]

fingers 🫠

[bugbrains]

being a horror fan when i had long hair: horrible. awful. constantly hit on and quizzed as if i was lying

being a horror fan after i impulsively gave myself the billy loomis cut: peaceful. beautiful. no one will talk to me except other queers and men with daddy issues who look a little scared to make eye contact with me because they think they’ll get medusa’d

[moe-broey]

Men only want ONE THING and it's DISGUSTING (Guy who's uour best friend who's always happy to see you who visibly lights up and sparkles when you enter the room who's comstantly looking out for you and doting on yiu just a little bit and making sure you're taken care of and who you trust so mucj so completely that you can share a bath and sleep side by side amd you'rw. Best Friwneds...)

AND YET. AND YET. Moe has something Worse than self-loathing going on. Like this is just denial at this point. And for WHAT (PSYCHOLOGICAL REASONS. IT'S SO DIRE)

[sungbeam]

no wait... hear me out.

you take the sung away from minsung and keep han jisung locked in ur basement, and i kidnap minho and seal him off in my garage, then we both leave them to rest ☺️🎀

and we go on a cute little platonic date together and make new plans + scenarios 😍🙏🏻⁉️

/j

STOP AHHAHAHAHAH WAIT U MEAN /WE/ WILL GO ON CUTE PLATONIC DATES OR WE'LL GO ON DATES W THEM??? either way im down 😼 (fbi agent, this is a joke, i swear!!)

[radiaking]

Lucy: expresses interest in fucking him

Coop: oh this bitch’ll fuck anything

[stardustsea]

my sister literally just completely 100% seriously asked me how I can have adhd if I can spend so long on tumblr 💀

[emblazons]

not me literally guessing the entire plot of Millie’s book after 60 pages omfg ( @magentamee can confirm 😂)

also: no spoiler review? the book is the quainter, pinned up English version of what this song feels like. iykyk

[general-kalani]

"You know what, I think I've had too much internet today I did not need to read the whole 'grazing teeth' thing and I'd be much better off if I hadn't seen it at all. I really need to purge my memory, I'll be blowing up civilisations if anyone needs me."

[cornrowsandcornbread]

watching the series finale of a show (and it’s actually a good series finale) you are fully and deeply emotionally invested in can be oh so beautiful yet oh so painful

[vuulpecula]

*pees* 💧

✖ i can't believe you've done this.

[ovenstavern]

omg i checked the wattpad i made when i was ten WHAT WAS THIS LMFAOOOO

theres sm more im CACKLING

[hirokiyuu]

42. Sol/Dys 😳

42. things you said when you asked me to marry you

"I mean, we don't have to or anything," says Sol; his thumb is tapping relentlessly on the back of Dys's hand and he's not meeting Dys's eyes, still staring out at the forest below with his other hand rubbing at the back of his neck. "Just, um. Y'know. I thought it might be nice?"

It takes him two swallows to push the word out of his mouth: "Nice," Dys repeats, voice cracking.

"I mean, yeah!" Sol's gone a little red, biting a bit at the corner of his mouth in an expression that's half a smile. "Like I said, we don't have to, and I don't wanna make you feel like, caged or trapped or anything, either. And like, I am crazy in love with you, and you love me too --" Dys can't help it, he has to squeeze Sol's hand for that one, and in return Sol's grin sparks a little more brilliant than before, "--so.... I dunno, I thought it'd be cool?"

"Cool."

"This went so much better in my head," says Sol. Finally he looks over at Dys, smile rueful. "Like, I swear, I was gonna sound super romantic and like, really sell you on it, y'know? You were gonna swoon and everything."

Somehow that startles a laugh out of Dys. "I was not going to swoon, no matter what you said."

"You could've! Like, maybe I would've said something that'd totally knock you off your feet, and you'd totally swoon right into my arms."

"That was never going to happen, babe."

It's Sol's turn to laugh now. At some point he's leaned in close enough they're touching from shoulder to hip; he hooks an ankle around Dys's and gives Dys's hand a squeeze. "Hey, I can be romantic," he says, voice low, and he's still smiling but it's small and private, for Dys and Dys alone. "I took you to the very first secret place we ever shared to do this, isn't that romantic?"

Dys blinks, looks around. Somehow he hadn't even realized. "You...." he starts to say, before he gives up and presses his face in Sol's shoulder to hide whatever dumb expression he's making.

"See?" Even without looking he knows exactly what expression Sol's making, too pleased in a way that makes his eyes crinkle. "I'm romantic."

"Shut the fuck up."

Sol does, thank fuck, but not before pressing a kiss to the top of Dys's head that makes Dys shudder like he's eighteen still.

They sit there for a while, legs dangling over the cliff, hands intertwined, before Dys finally manages, "Let me think about it. The... the thing you mentioned."

He can't bring himself to say it. The word's too big to fit in his mouth, even as it ping-pongs wildly in his skull, the fact that Sol wants to.... "Okay," says Sol, squeezing Dys's hand. "Take your time. And like I said, if you don't want to, that's fine. But...."

"You want to."

"...Yeah."

Not a surprise. Sol's kind of always been that way, daydreaming about knights and princesses and happily-ever-afters. No wonder, then, that he wants.... "Okay," says Dys, quietly, tilting his head so he can look out at Vertumna once more, at the first place he ever felt at home, before Sol. "I'll let you know."

In return Sol just squeezes Dys's hand again, tilts his own head to rest on Dys's, and like that they set and watch the horizon.

[bitegore]

when i based Rex's features (loosely) off old pictures of my grandpa i played a really strange trick on myself because then I grew up and started looking like my one oc who i kept doing awful things to. except like, I may have kind of wanted to look like him but I've never wanted to be him so for a good like year and a half running it freaked me the fuck out to look in the mirror and see a traumatized lizardman looking back at me