#DYING LMFAOOOO

[general-kalani]

"Hate to be Vincent right about now."

[dragonanon]

I feel like Satan, if his and his S/O were to get married, would not so subtly hold that over Lucifer's head

Like yeah sure, Lucifer rules hell, but at least Satan's marriage isn't on the rocks. Lucifer can rule hell all he wants, Satan can at least hold his own marriage together

Lucifer: “I am the king of Hell! Not you! YOU obey ME!”

Satan: “Lol at least MY wife didn’t divorce me and go MIA.”

Lucifer:

[general-kalani]

"Oh me working with a bird I tamed since they were a fledgling is not comparable to you working alongside Angel? What a double-standard."

"I did not just hear what I think I just heard. Don't try and deep throat it or stick it up your ass. If you want to be turned into a kebab that's how you do it... What am I doing with my life arguing with a ten year old."

general-kalani​:

“We’ve been working alongside each other for years and I’m the one with a weird ‘relationship’ while you publicly called yourself ‘daddy’? Yeah I’m definitely the one with issues.”

“You could’ve but you didn’t that means I’m better than you. Hope you’re not looking at a tentacle though I don’t want to know what you’d do with that in your free time.”

“You can’t stand there and tell me that you work alongside a bird, with a straight face, and not expect me to laugh at you. 

And there aren’t really any official applications that those tentacles were good for. Personal use, though? Whole ‘nother story.”

[heretyc]

Tips for Barbi trials

Barbi's hot but he's also a major fucking douche and I'm here to save y'all from his clutches that we call "trials". Both of his trials are most disliked or described as hard, so here are some tips from your certified Whore™.

Not really accounting for perfect grades, so if you're fond of speedrunning and getting a good grade, this probably isn't for you lol

Poison the Medicine -

It's long and annoying as fuck. We all know this. You THINK it's gonna be easy, but nooooo. He's EXTRA.

Keep an adrenaline on hand for when you need to push the cart. It occupies a spot, but pushing it is easy as pie and the ex-pops aren't too much of a concern. You can outrun a large grunt easily (assuming they're a decent distance away from you BEFORE you push).

There will always be a large grunt at the spawn. Like fucking clockwork. There are two spawn points for them, and there are two entrances you can take if they spawn right in front of the main entrance (with the metal door). If they spawn on the docks underneath, just be cautious and crouch the whole way. Three in total spawn on this map; one at the start, one after waking Barbi and one after you get all of the drugs from the train station.

When you get to the machine, open all of the doors and walk to and from depositing the drugs. The ex-pops are hella annoying but walking will make sure they don't hear you as much.

The symbols can be hard as shit to spot. The decoder will go off if you're near one. Make sure you're not near the symbol right at the beginning because that, too, will make it go off.

Franco loves chilling in the upstairs after he first spawns. Let him spawn, then let him fuck off to the upstairs before you begin your search. Another ex-pop will be present, so just stay cautious. Barbi's much worse than an ex-pop, though.

I say this with love but Franco's kinda stupid in the dark. I've stood in place for 3 minutes one time because the symbol wasn't lining up and all he did was run back and forth...back and forth...back and forth. If you're in the dark, don't worry too much about hiding from him. He does, however, shoot behind him if he hears noise. Stay motionless until he's in another room or around the corner.

The gas chamber is lowkey the worst part and nobody likes it. Make sure you have the door bashing amp and run and break amp. You have 20 seconds in the room before you start taking damage; the room has hiding spots, so take advantage of those. Quickly hop in and hop out to reset the timer. The canisters aren't always in the gas chamber. There's a few doors you can open to other areas that DON'T have vapours in them [hence why I recommend the door bashing amps above] and you'll be given a notification if there's a canister nearby. Once you have one, place it in the chamber so you don't get lost. When you get both, simultaneously carry them both to the machine. Carry one for 10 seconds, carry the other for 10 seconds.

The worst part, in all of this trial, is the end where you need to stuff the drugs. Barbi will shoot the glass and run into the room. Best thing to do is jump out after him, but DON'T immediately go down into the ship as he'll run in and fuck up your time with the mules. Let him get lost and begin to search the area ABOVE SHIP before you go down there. Cutting the mules makes no noise, but Barbi just LOVES running in and out of the room if he thinks you're down there. Because his dumbass is a mouth breather, you can pretty much hear him coming. Keep your inventory completely clear so you can cut and go. Best way to do this is cut one mule, stuff him, then go back and get more drugs to lead Barbi away from the room itself. Assuming you don't have the amp that silences your running, he'll be lead elsewhere. You need 6 drug bags, and even with the extra slot, you'll only have 5 in total, so you'll need to go back anyway. Once the mules are full, now's the time to leave the trial. He spawns at the shuttle doors, so go UNDER the docks and try to trigger a soundtrap.

Pleasure the Prosecutor -

...Yes, he's literally jacking it right in front of you. Lupara's on the table, see?

This isn't a tip, I just thought I'd mention it. For no reason. [Also would you believe me if I told you I wrote "lord have mercy" with a mouse? Why the fuck is that so clean...for a MOUSE.]

Not as annoying as Poison the Medicine but still extremely hella annoying. Best way to hide is to stick to the shadows and use hiding spots whenever possible. Remember the lights will come on after you flick the switches, so quickly make your way into a hiding spot or dark corners. THE EX-POP'S AI HAVE BEEN MODIFIED, so they will IMMEDIATELY search the area for you after breaking chase. That's why this trial is insufferable. If you can, try not to reuse the same hiding spot. Keep moving around the area to prevent them from catching you.

Mannequin locations vary. One may spawn in the dining area, one may spawn in the clothing store. The clothing store is the best and the worst; it's big. And it's...big, which means more switches to keep an eye on.

There are two mannequin spawns where large grunts will be present; in these, keep a bottle or a defensive rig on hand if they spot you.

BARBI WILL ALWAYS BE PRESENT ON THE MAP. Unlike Poison the Medicine, he will NOT despawn. After you trigger the first mannequin, he will spawn and stay on the map until the sequence near the end. In my experience [and the millions of times playing this trial], he'll linger in the motel area UNLESS you lead him away from there. You can hear him breathing and everything so avoiding him is disgustingly easy. He can, and WILL, fuck up a mannequin for you if you let him and lead him to where you need to sit and wait. He will also scare the Scapegoat if you're not careful.

There are three Scapegoats; one you will need to trigger !!THREE!! times and the other two will only need a trigger once. For the hard one, keep an eye on the tracker as he can spawn in the same area, just a bit further away. If you can, move in a way to make him attack you; it's possible to trigger him twice if you time it just right.

The sequence at the end will always end in blue. The blue mannequin is what kills the DA off by decapitating him. If you're not the best at remembering sequences, just remember the first four colours. I hope this helps! If he makes the trials hard for you just fling Yo Mama jokes at him 💕🤭 what's he gonna do, tell his mom??

[jungkook97]

fingers 🫠

[dontgofarfromme]

Watched Anyone But You and I just think if ur gonna do Much Ado About Nothing its rude to just adapt the fun bits and ignore all the themes and social commentary and an entire half of the plot. Like I don't think u get to make Claudio a lesbian for diversity points and then wriggle out of thinking about how the fuck you actually make the story MEAN something after youve made that change by just not adapting the claudio/hero plot at all come onnnnnn

[bugbrains]

being a horror fan when i had long hair: horrible. awful. constantly hit on and quizzed as if i was lying

being a horror fan after i impulsively gave myself the billy loomis cut: peaceful. beautiful. no one will talk to me except other queers and men with daddy issues who look a little scared to make eye contact with me because they think they’ll get medusa’d

[moe-broey]

Men only want ONE THING and it's DISGUSTING (Guy who's uour best friend who's always happy to see you who visibly lights up and sparkles when you enter the room who's comstantly looking out for you and doting on yiu just a little bit and making sure you're taken care of and who you trust so mucj so completely that you can share a bath and sleep side by side amd you'rw. Best Friwneds...)

AND YET. AND YET. Moe has something Worse than self-loathing going on. Like this is just denial at this point. And for WHAT (PSYCHOLOGICAL REASONS. IT'S SO DIRE)

[general-kalani]

"You know what, I think I've had too much internet today I did not need to read the whole 'grazing teeth' thing and I'd be much better off if I hadn't seen it at all. I really need to purge my memory, I'll be blowing up civilisations if anyone needs me."

[sungbeam]

no wait... hear me out.

you take the sung away from minsung and keep han jisung locked in ur basement, and i kidnap minho and seal him off in my garage, then we both leave them to rest ☺️��

and we go on a cute little platonic date together and make new plans + scenarios 😍🙏🏻⁉️

/j

STOP AHHAHAHAHAH WAIT U MEAN /WE/ WILL GO ON CUTE PLATONIC DATES OR WE'LL GO ON DATES W THEM??? either way im down 😼 (fbi agent, this is a joke, i swear!!)

[sweetmoonbeam17]

I inherited my friend’s old Wii and found the HTTYD2 game at a discount store so I’ve been having some fun with that

The best part is obviously when the riders go flying off their dragons if you hit a wall. But my second favorite thing is if you play as Stormfly/Astrid and do a bunch of epic flying maneuvers, Astrid’s like having the time of her life and cheering. Whereas if you do the same stuff as Toothless/Hiccup, Hiccup is like TOOTHLESS STOP TOOTHLESS STOP TOOTHLESS STOP

[stardustsea]

my sister literally just completely 100% seriously asked me how I can have adhd if I can spend so long on tumblr 💀

[cornrowsandcornbread]

watching the series finale of a show (and it’s actually a good series finale) you are fully and deeply emotionally invested in can be oh so beautiful yet oh so painful

[vuulpecula]

*pees* 💧

✖ i can't believe you've done this.

[ovenstavern]

omg i checked the wattpad i made when i was ten WHAT WAS THIS LMFAOOOO

theres sm more im CACKLING

[bitegore]

when i based Rex's features (loosely) off old pictures of my grandpa i played a really strange trick on myself because then I grew up and started looking like my one oc who i kept doing awful things to. except like, I may have kind of wanted to look like him but I've never wanted to be him so for a good like year and a half running it freaked me the fuck out to look in the mirror and see a traumatized lizardman looking back at me