#DON'T BE THIS IS GREAT I LOVE IT
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πππππΒ Β ππΒ Β ππππΒ (iβm so sorry fjchch)
ππππ " πππππ ππ ππππ β π
ππ ππ ππππ ππ ππππππ ππππππππ πππππ πππππ. ππ πππππ πππππππ .
"... Pass."
#( ANSWERED. )#dosminius#ianto vc cont.: SO pass >:(((((((((((((((#KSDKSDLFXKCDLKDF;SDLKELKFD;LKC;LKDV;L#DON'T BE THIS IS GREAT I LOVE IT
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please help me- i used to be pretty smart but iβm having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!
gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.
SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:
diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.
non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.
the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.
now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.
if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.
if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematicβ’ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.
this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.
it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.
but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.
#I found their original stuff while I was researching various waterhorses and their folklore for no reason#because one of the characters in their original work happens to be an each uisge#and then it turned out it ALSO included a lot of figures from welsh folklore in general#so yknow if you happen to have my incredibly specific hyperfixations you'll love it but even if you don't it's great#I didn't mean to bring up phantom of the opera so much it just happens to be very relevant to a lot of my talking points#I haven't actually seen it in years
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terry: i used to make really poor choices about my life, so now I'm redeeming myself by being batman
dick, who is always five seconds away from killing himself when he has to be batman: what an... interesting way of seeing things
tim, who can not EVER be allowed to be batman: huh.
#dc#dc comics#batman#batman beyond#terry mcginnis#tim drake#red robin#dick grayson#nightwing#terry and cass are the only people who are allowed to be batman and that's the hill I'll die on#either them or no batman after bruce retires#and no the reason why i don't want damian to be batman is not because i think he'd make a bad batman#he'd be a GREAT batman#but he desperately needs to be his own person#if you know what i mean#for the love of god free damian wayne
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Max Deeds via IG/Tiktok July 31st, 2024
#Max Deeds#usermichi#userdylan#usersam#userjimholden#holesrus#pecs#hairy pecs#Mine#i'm a big fan of him and his works#not gonna say it here because i don't want this getting flagged but he's a great straight star and i love watching him#and it's really huge.
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it's because i wouldn't let you kill the bounty hunter isn't it
#he's so mean 2 me#bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#bg3 tav#these files were titled 'asstarion' on my computer#that'll show him#managed to redress my finger so i can draw#but seeing as this is my first time drawing asstarion i'm not gonna go full lineart and colour#it was fun though he's got a great face#hate drawing his hair though#sorry you don't want to fuck me astarion#sorry you don't have good taste π€#also i gave my tav pure black eyes and now every time he frowns it looks like he's got these big puppydog eyes i love him so much
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Thinking again about how Suzanne esentially subverted the "beloved famous man that is actually a horrible person in real life" with Finnick, who is the complete opposite of that.
Finnick has this whole image costructed around him by the people that abused him for years: the Capitol's darling, their golden boy, the sex symbol of Panem, the man that has countless lovers but leaves them constantly and doesn't look back etc. And you would expect, initially, to meet a man that retains at least a part of that persona in his day to day life. But Finnick doesn't, not even one bit.
You see instead a man that is deeply in love and completely devoted to the one woman he quite literally adores, a man that protects Mags, his old mentor and his mother figure, as much as he can, a man that wouldn't leave Johanna behind, a man that gathers whatever strenght he has left to speak publicly about the abuse inflicted upon him at the government's hands; the opposite of what the Capitol's media and reputation made him out to be.
#don't even get me started on beetee's line about how it's a miracle finnick is still with them giving all the abuse he suffered#that line is haunting#i just love him he's such a great character :((#finnick odair#annie cresta#odesta#mags flanagan#johanna mason#the hunger games#thg
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4 MINUTES (2024) I 1.02 "It's pretty deep. All the doctors in the ER are busy. I'll stitch it up for you."
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#bible wichapas#jes jespipat#great#tyme#greattyme#great x tyme#userfaiza#userrlaura#uservix#bl series#thai bl#this scene fucking ate#oh the creators know what they're doing#him getting so close to him in that specific way ;) he knows what's up#i love how shy bible's character gets#but imma say this.... i don't trust tyme - i think he's trying to lure great in#but joke's on him and he's gonna fall for him for real#blood tw#mywork
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watching gravity falls for the first time at the request of my little sister and i just watched a tale of two stans and CRIED
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#mabel pines#dipper pines#dipper and mabel#grunkle stan#stan pines#i LOVE grunkle stan sm#it's a great show!#i can feel it inscribing itself on my brain lol#art#illustration#digital art#fanart#artists on tumblr#clip studio paint#csp#bill cipher#i literally was like why is this triangle guy bothering the children?? and my sister was like uhhh he's the main villain lol#NO SPOILERS PLEASE I BEG i know the show came out like 10 yrs ago but i don't know how it ends#i viscerally remember my sister walking around going the author of the journals...my BROTHER and i was like what are you TALKING about
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This wine tastes like pigs blood!
[First]Β PrevΒ <β-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jin zixun#wei wuxian#su she#(Su She needs to have his carrie moment before he can have his Carrie Moment.#Which means he needs to exist as a punching bag before he can hit 'em with the rebound).#My first draft of this comic had WWX slurping LWJ's wine per actual scene canon#As it really is a great scene of how WWX is willing to absorb the scandal and harm that befalls others.#It had a lot less to do with it being LWJ and more so that WWX just happens to be the kind of person who refuses to turn a blind eye.#It could have been any Lan who was being pressured (inappropriately) to drink (do not pressure anyone to drink irl PLEASE).#Because this is a romance plot it of course *is* LWJ. But don't forget that in this moment they aren't on great terms.#It's not a knight in shining armor moment - it's a 'you were being treated unjustly and I have the power to absolve you from that.'#And as we are very soon about to see - WWX certainly cannot turn away from those who need aid he can provide.#And like Jin Guangyao; that kindness is also his downfall.#By the way - that you all for the amazing community commentary on the last comic. I really loved reading everyone's thoughts!#Suyao shippers...I get it now. You had me at 'wen ning and WWX parallels'. I'll be back with a treat for you soon.#And yes 'everyone' does include the ironically named tumblr user jin zixun.#Who blocked me right before the character makes his pd-mdzs debut.#I hope you are well. You seem like you were having a real bad time yesterday.
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local hylian literally too shy to revisit zora's domain
#my art#tears of the kingdom#totk#link#legend of zelda#listen. i am not a shy person. AND YET#I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF GOING TO ZORA'S DOMAIN#I CAN'T DO IT!#save hyrule? yeah sure give me a stick and a new arm and i'm off to the races#TALK TO A HANDSOME SHARK?#WHOM I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH FOR YEARS?#WOULD RATHER DIE#(y'all have been so great about not posting spoilers in the tags!!! please don't make me regret this π£π)
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Charles Rowland & Edwin Payne | Dead Boy Detectives 1.02
#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#jayden revri#edwin payne#george rexstrew#dbdagifs#mygifs#dbda102#ive already made this same set and it makes the rounds#(for good reason: there's some really great meta in the reblogs)#but its been a few months and i don't love the gifs i made originally#so i figured id challenge myself to remake it now in under 20 minutes (not counting screencapping)
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The tac net crash chapter is one of my favorites so far~
Ah and. Guess what. I just discovered that including this post, I made 50 pieces of fanart for Mistakes on mistakes until.. Iβm so sane and normal about this story can you tellπ
#maccadam#transformers#fic fanart#momu fanart#jazz#prowl#jazzprowl#considering the speed and the amount of fanart#β¦.yeah I can see why tumblr thought I was a bot lmao#also#I mostly read during night and then drawing from memory during day so uhhhhh the accuracy is questionable haha#mainly I feel like half of the time I donβt know how tf Jazz looks. The guy switching between his looks so often jdjfjfj#IM. SO GLAD THEY RESOLVED THEIR DRAMA EHEHBJGJ#The scene in medbay was so damn cute#oh my goddddd#the scene of the tac net crash#muah#loved it~#you know the thing is - I'm a biiiig fan of mutual feelings and actions#the scene of the kiss was absolutely great but it was a bit one sided#Jazz cared about Prowl but Prowl was far more concerned about information safety and strategy and stuff#but this?? mmmm~ Them caring for each other#Prowl using his last moments of consciousness to ask Jazz if he is mad at him#Prowl actually deeply caring of what Jazz thinks about him now when he knows Prowl killed his friends#i don't know how to explain#kisses are great but this (points) this is my favorite five star meal right here#also there is something so funny about Prowl slowly discovering fow fucked up Jazz is and just accepting it#but being so scared when Jazz discover how fucked up he is. Only for Jazz to be like βboo I knew about your fuckedupness from the startβ
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#this is great#i don't just sit at home googling you#dead#i love them#polin#penelope x colin#colin x penelope#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#love#queen of the pranks#king of the boyband#haha#luke newton#nicola coughlan#bridgerton
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I see why people do MS paint rage doodles this is really great
#*its Ishy because they seem to take her words to heart more than the others and because I can draw her hair from memory#**I am not actually mad#I need to make it clear that I am a Dante fan and I love them as dearly as the grass loves the spring rain but they need a punt#*gritting teeth* I love reoccurring character flaws soooo much. its especially great when the flaw is that they worry in their head more#than actually Performing Actions and you get to read it happening as you know it'll blow up in their face for the 93794324628th time#like manager. manager listen to me#wait till Fau dies. turn back everyone BUT HER and TELL THEM#I love you stupid clockhead but sometimes I mean the insults a lil more than usual.#does this count as canto spoilers? I don't think this counts as canto spoilers#limbus company#ishmael lcb#dante lcb#β°βͺ
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hey idk which anxious pre-t babe needs to hear this but i didn't get to when i was younger so. testosterone will not make you ugly. it won't make you a horrible person. it won't 'mutilate' or ruin your body. if you want to go on testosterone then literally all that happens is it makes you really fucking hot and REALLY fucking happy.
#ramble#literally very hot. like very hot#there is so much sweat#'oh you're just trying to paint a pretty picture that it's all fine' yeah i am!!! it's fucking great. i love it#trans people aren't sad clueless little babes who don't know what's going on. if you want to go on hormones you Know what it's going to do#and you WANT THAT WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE DOING IT#i hate hate hate seeing detransitioners like 'it destroyed and mutilated me'#*proceeds to list the normal effects of hormones*#it's all fearmongering and it's SICK#personally i think we should start glorifying transition more. because it's BEAUTIFUL
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