no okkmmstill crazy abt the fuckign fic u dont understand my brain chemistry has been utterly scrambled
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MC sneaks into everyone's bedrooms in the middle of the night and paints their horns homestuck candy corn colors for a fun April Fool's day surprise.
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Realized I never posted about the sakuyama inverted aura things from Twitter here. Just... Look.
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hi everyone <3
I have a bit of a life update.
To make a long story short, last week I was diagnosed with PTSD. I have been having a... very hard time coming to terms with that. For most of my life I believed I just had a bad anxiety disorder, but I am now realizing that is unfortunately not the case. The past couple months I have been in a near constant state of fight or flight, fear, panic, whatever you want to call it- without really realizing it. and man. it has been exhausting, mentally, physically, spiritually. I just thought it was normal to feel like this all the time. i assumed everyone felt like this. my therapist has helped me realize I am in a lot of pain right now and it is not normal.
so. the good news is that there is an intensive trauma therapy that I will be doing for the next couple months that is going to really help me recover. i love and trust my therapist with my whole heart. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. i am finally getting the help i need.
so. unfortunately I am going to step away from tumblr for a bit. i dont really want to do this, i love being on here. i love interacting with all the friends i've made here. kink has become a very important and healing part of my life. but it is just a little too much for me at the moment. I'm not sure when I will return, could be a couple weeks, a couple months. I'll return when I feel right.
I feel like this may be a little odd to share here, but it's important to me to acknowledge and share that I have been having a really hard time. i tend to downplay when i'm in pain. i feel like people usually don't care about me (i know this is very very much not the case. im trying to convince my brain of that too.) its really hard for me to tell people when i am struggling, especially in my real life. so i am taking baby steps and starting here.
so, until I return- chase your tails for me, roll in the grass, bark at the squirrels. take care of yourselves. if you are struggling, know youre loved. get the help you need. i will be curling up in my dog bed and taking a nap in the sun. ruff ruff. wag wag. much love to all of you.
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Okay so my newest brain worm is kinda based around how after Zach comes out to Jon and Angel and they're like "omg bro thank you for telling us we love you" pretty much instantly Angel looks back between Zach and Ruben once or twice and is like "Shut the fuck up you're dating" and they're like "I mean like we haven't really talked about that but like-" and Angel essentially goes "Ooh friends with benefits? Based." And I kinda forgot how perceptive he is at times so I think it'd be really funny if he just straight up missed a lot of subtext but can clock any romantic/sexual developments/activities in any of them pretty much instantly. If Jon started dating someone he knew the next time he saw him without being told. He knew Zach and Ruben were gonna get engaged before it had even happened and sent them a congratulations text like the day after despite not being told, not seeing them in person for a hot second, and the fact that they didn't live together anymore.
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Physically, I'm here.
Mentally, I'm lying in the dark with all the friends I think about but have lost touch with, catching up and laughing, and just not missing them like I do. Lifetimes haven't passed. And I'm still with them in the heart of some of the most important times of my life.
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THINKIN ABOUT CHUCK AND SONIC IN THE PANDORA AU LADS
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lkjasdlkjf when dru is like oh hey everybody lookie ive made a new little guy! gonna call him willie and he has to be like 👉👈uh its actually uh, its actually william. and she makes the exact same face she does when harmony calls him booboo
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Will Pixelwish ever continue? I reread it on tapas recently and I’m dying to know what happens next :’>}
ohh thank u for still showing interest in it! <:'^)
I want to say yes. I keep trying to hype myself to work on it but its not working out all too well lol..
but the more time I spend on not doing it the further apart i drift from the person that started it x^) which has been my main problem with it... i really want to just remake it from the start but i recognize that that is an absolutely vicious cycle that webcomic makers get stuck in.
i really do hope i will finish it this year.. like i really want to but i cant. you know? only time will tell i suppose. no promises but do know that it is constantly gnawing at the back of my mind.
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