#DO YOU ALL EVEN FUCKING KNOW ABOUT THE SHIT I WENT THRU TO FIND THIS DOCUMENT

[carcinized]

feeling of growing into my body is so nice too. god puberty sucked

[whimsicmimic]

once again thinking about my post-trimax legato somehow miraculously survives despite everything au and vashgato agenda aka The Worlds Most Miserable Roadtrip

[pjackk]

Yep another miesrable "F my life" moment just hapened to me i basicaly walked 10 miles up the mountain to get to behind to the gas station to see my plug to buy me my with my favorite delta 8 pipe rocks and grab another 6er of tall boy steelies and i forgot i had my lit pre roll from brunch at the Country Grocerys buffet and i tripped on a congom on they away out and fell directly into a puddle of oil which normaly is fine when i fall and hurt myself ebcause nobody gives a fuck about me but the pants got stained wich is not unusual for me either but this time with motor guel or some shit but my pre roll was smoldering still and it set my ptants on fire so i dive in to the muddy ditch to put wet mut on my body to estinguish the fire and it and it shook the fuck up out of my steelos and the bursted all over me and it put out the fire but now i dont have any booze at all and my delta 7 "Fuck n chill" rocks burned tf up and i dont got nothgin left and my pants were all fucked up so i had to go home thru the woods wihtout them and it was so dark out and my peice of shit phone died even thouhg it was at 27% and i couldnt see shit and i was lost for along time so i decide to go to sleep in the woods to find my way back in day time + the animals sounds were high key scary as fuck so i cover myself in leafs and dirt and sticks and mud and other shit to hide from them and i woke up in the adfternoon still tired as fuck cuz i dont sleep good without some shit to put me asleep like my medicidne prescribed from Dr Maltlikker if U catch my drift lol or Dr thc Gummy lol if u get what im saying and these stupid little cunts with 22 rifles were plinking at me and tlaking about how they wanted to shoot my big ugly rusty head right in the head or to shoot a hole in my nippels so i got up and trioed to get them to stop i begged but htey just kept lauhging at me and shooting at me and it realy hurt my feelings so i pick one up and threw it into the sky then they all ran away screaming which is a classic "Dont fuck with honest joe,because he might try to hurt you or kill you if u piss him of moment" but the miracle of the story if that i went to walk 20 feet to findm y way out and i found my busted as shit old as fuck camry with a litle gas left ive been looking for it for a few days cuz i did a lil cruising when i was blackout and did lots of crazy shit i didnt remember at all but it was all on my story and 100 ppl were snaping and whatsapping me telling me to kill myself when i checked my huwawai thats how u know u had a crazy fcking night when u get that shit!!😂😂 but it had a litle gas left and it wasnt super busted so i was able do get back on I81 and soem stupid fcking crazy ass north carolina motha fuckas are driving insanly as fuck as usual and they keep almost hiting me while im just trying to read my fukcking phone to get rid of all these stupid messages and shit i still dont know how to use the app and its hard to type shit with my hands but eventualy i got back to my fuck buddys houe im crashing there even though he hates me now but i have nowehre left since ive been down on my luck and im realy not able to pay the bills no more with my online black jack/DarkRp trial moderator gigs and basicaly he owes me cuaz i got him 1 pack of menthols back when he was 19 and Sleepy Joe Brnadon banned them since "Freedom to do real shit" was aparently removed from the costitution when he was elected😂 but anywas now im sitting here bored as fuck with nothign at all do do cuz i got nothing to get fucked up wthi and i spent the rest of my meony on shit thats burned and blasted im realy worried i wont be able to sleep tongith since i cant get fucked up and thats when the demons starts to flow in my head i might do something realy bad to myself like pluck out my screws or some shit if u care abotu my which u probably dont my cashuapp is $pjack9 im desprate for another bottle to numb my p[ain away

Pic of my ride when i found it thankuly it still had gas😋

[billskeis]

ᡣ𐭩 bus shenanigans w bill

it was mid day into the summer where you and the band were on world tour, travelling from place to place as the exhausting schedules had you all working to the bone.

of course, as part of their management team, you did everything in your power to keep the band in check.

water? done. snacks? already given. towels? passed around.

not to mention, the constant words of affirmation and reassurance that everything will be okay.

you were their escape of solace in the midst of youthful chaos.

“tomtom! where’s bill? i don’t think i’ve seen him at all today,” you pout.

“hmph, little cunt must still be sleeping. you know how he gets on tour,”

that’s right. when given the day off bill will not do anything but sleep. sleep until late evening, as unhealthy as it is, you understand from a rockstar point of view.

“ah.. okay! ‘m gonna go check up on him, see if he needs anything.”

“i don’t think that’s a good idea y/n,”

“huh?”

“ask georg or gustav, whenever we bother him during his nap time he throws a fit. gets all moody nd shit,”

“i find that hard to believe,” you cross your arms.

“alright, go see for yourself,”

“y’know what i will!”

tom clicks his tongue and sips on his coke, smirking as your figure disappears from within the bus foyer to go to where bill’s bunk was.

since you made it your mission to prove tom wrong due to your stubborn persona, it was only natural that you went to go see bill. little did you know about what bill had in store for you specifically if you had woken him.

“you’re in deep trouble, y/n.”

as you open the door to the even more cramped space, you see a figure adorned in all black under the thin fabric of a blanket covering the figure.

his body moves up and down as he breaths. sound asleep eh? you make small tip-toed steps towards the bunk bed.

“billy..? you sleeping in?”

you sit down on the hard mattress and couch under to fit yourself within the tiny space. patting bill’s still body, you attempt to wake him up.

“c’monnn you gotta wake up half the day is over and we have stuff to do—”

everything happened in a flash you don’t even know how you ended up in such a position.

bill is on top of you.

THE bill fucking kaulitz has you pinned down on the bunk bed. the grip he has on each of your wrists tighten and you wince at the pain. you don’t remember bill ever being that strong but he has been working out a bit more for their comeback.

his locs fall a down to tickle your cheeks. he looks down at you, pitiful. eyelids lowered as he gazes into yours with absolute darkness and lust. you feel yourself getting hot.

what the hell did you get yourself into?

“y/n. i was napping.”

“i-i know, but i figured that we have a lot on our plate we needed our lead singer,”

“did you? or did you wanna just come here and bother me because you just wanted to see me, hm?”

“u-um..”

he leans his face closer to yours, eyes never breaking contact as he slightly grins. he enjoys how worked out and shy you’re getting as you begin to get the cold sweats, shaking a bit.

“oh you little slut, you’re in big trouble now schatzi,”

bill begins to claw at your pants to take them off, thank god you didn’t wear anything that had any buttons or zippers because he would get so frustrated he’d rip the whole thing off of you.

“bill! there’s people on the b-bus..!”

“and? you were warned,”

“s-stop, please..”

“betcha tom already warned ya, but your pretty little head thought it was okay anyway..”

with the undressing of your pants came with your panties, that hid how coated your cunt was with slick.

truthfully and shamelessly, you were turned the fuck on.

bill wastes no time as he freed his hardened cock from his pyjama pants, already leaking with precum. as he rubs the tip up and down your slit, you whine at how sensitive you were. bill knew how to rile you up sensually or not, and it drove you nuts.

“please..”

“hmmm? can’t hear you mein maus.. gonna have to speak up.”

“please..! j-just get it over with—ah!”

you yelp at the sudden thrust of bill’s cock into your entrance. already balls deep, bill cannot help but let out a wanton moan as you clasp one of your hands on his mouth.

“fuuuck you drive me nuts..”

“q-quiet..!”

he licks at your hand playfully to which you immediately pull it away.

“b-bill!?”

chuckling, a smile is plastered on bill’s face as he sheaths his cock in and out of your pussy slowly.

“mm.. you’re so warm nd tight,” he moans as he uses both hands to caress the curves of your waist, hands exploring what’s his. he needed you, and craved you.

hey, at least he’s awake now.

bracing yourself, both his hands stop all movements as they now hold onto your waist tightly. with rhythmic thrusts, bill keeps a steady pace fucking into you as if it were his last time to.

he’s in a frenzy. bill cannot stop moving his hips. the loud squelching of how wet and slick your cunt furthered this need to fuck you into an oblivion.

bill doesn’t hear your pleads to ‘s-stop!’ or ‘slow down..’ he doesn’t notice the pool of cum and squirt mixed between where the two of you were joined on the bed sheets growing. he doesn’t notice your cunt tightening by the second and how you’ve already came.

words fall onto dead ears, your now babbling for him to stop as the pressure of his cock in your cunt makes pushes you further into ecstasy.

“b-billy! a-ah! i already came! i know now not to wake you up s-so p-pleaseeepleasepleaseplease slow down—ungggghhh..!” you attempt to whisper, but they come out as quiet screams instead.

as he snaps out of it, he takes a good look down at your body on top of him, eyes widening for a second but never stilling his movements.

“f-fuck y/n.. look at you, such a whore f’me.. me, and me only..”

“i—ugh—i can’t do this anymore.. they’re gonna hear us..,”

“pft, whatever. let them hear how much of a slut you become for my cock. you deserve this.”

you just want this to end. with a pussy all sore and sensitive from how big bill is, not to mention how with each thrust bill’s cock hits your cervix balls deep, you’re bound to not walk the next day.

bill places a kiss on your mouth, tongue assaulting every nook and cranny of your mouth as you try to keep up with him.

as his mouth leaves yours, you attempt to catch a breath from not only him kissing you but how his tip hits your g spot every single time he presses his dick into you.

“h-hahh.. bill..” you wrap your arms around his neck.

“mein schatz.. these visits better become a daily thing, wanna punish you over and over again till’ you pass out from how good i fuck you.”

georg walks into the shaking tour bus with gustav after their smoke break.

tom is sitting on the couch eating his skittles and watching the small television propped up on one of the bus walls.

“didn’t you warn her?” georg asks as he hands tom back his lighter.

your moans can be heard from the opposite side of the bus. seems as though you stopped caring about the noise.

“i did, holy shit they been at it for like an hour now..”

“EW GUSTAV YOU’RE HARD.”

“shut the fuck up.” as he covers his lap with a pillow.

[peachyfnaf]

sun and moon show tumblr dashboard simulator. because i find these hilarious and this fandom needs one. assume this takes place in a "bad shit happens, but everyone's still on speaking terms" au for it to make the most sense kfjhsfd

0 notes

🌠 worldrecordnutellaeater Follow

when the nightmare goes so hard when you wake up you have to walk into the ocean just to make sure

🌎 princessandthepaupersupreme Follow

Lunar, are you okay..?

�� worldrecordnutellaeater Follow

guess

22 notes

👤 sunsthirdfingerjoint Follow

ok but the creator is kind of a dilf tho

🦙 TSAJSwillprevail Follow

he's killed hundreds

👤sunsthirdfingerjoint Follow

is a man not allowed to be a manic pixie dream girl in this day and age

🛸 moonenjoyer9315 Follow

guys are we just ignoring op's url

536 notes

☣️ mellorinefuega Follow

coming across montgomery gator in the wild is crazy. like i was just trying to make a deposit at the bank one time and he came up behind me and punched the teller in the face

🐩 hottodoggors Follow

op my girlfriend went thru a similar experience a few months ago. this dude sounds like a menace, fr. so happy hes not near me.

🐊 trustmewithyourinformation Follow

182.62.250.90

🐩 hottodoggors Follow

is that my fukcign ip address

1,102 notes

🌎 princessandthepaupersupreme Follow

This is a gentle reminder that everything will be okay, you just have to give it time!!!

🌎 princessandthepaupersupreme Follow

im seriously at my limit

🌎 princessandthepaupersupreme Follow

Just give it time, everyone!!!

🔧 applejackenjoyer Follow

earth are you okay

🌎 princessandthepaupersupreme Follow

guess

🌑 twilightsparkleno1fan Follow

🔧 applejackenjoyer Follow

nexus NO

179 notes

🪔 cloudandloud Follow

eclipse v2 and nexus are one in the same. hit post. and go to bed

🪔 cloudandloud Follow

i just woke up. ive never been this scared to look at notes in my life

979 notes

💡 ballogmore Follow

i love going to the pizzaplex with my little sister bc she's there for the glamrocks. i'm there to see if i can get my hands on that twinky little jester

🔋 buttonsandbatterypacks Follow

Which twinky little jester op

💡 ballogmore Follow

the daycare attendant model??? whomst the fuck else?????

🔋 buttonsandbatterypacks Follow

You'd be surprised how little that narrows it down, actually

34,343 notes

🧛🏿‍♀️ horseonabeach-man Follow

🗡️ leavethatlittleguyalone Follow

bro what did v2 do to you

🧛🏿‍♀️ horseonabeach-man Follow

exist

557 notes

☀️ catdadofthedecade Follow

every day i try to not let my brother rob a bank, and then every day he provides me good reasons as to why i should let him

🌕 ricksanchezreborn Follow

sun do yuo know what you could do with the money

☀️ catdadofthedecade Follow

i dont want to know, moon

🌕 ricksanchezreborn Follow

☀️ catdadofthedecade Follow

do you need a getaway diver

52 notes

🌊 themagicwawa Follow

"sun is so cute!! solar's such a dilf. nexus being insane is so ho-"

absolutely none of you can handle what i have to say about him

99 notes

👾 certifiedrobotfracker

god help me, hes so fine

🏝 chronicappleeater-deactiaved062324

yeah, him and all 5 pixels

👾 certifiedrobotfracker

i see god smited you for this one

😈 itsme-fromthebible

wrong deity, but appreciate it regardless

👾 certifiedrobotfracker

THE DEVIL FROM THE BIBLE??!?!

823,383 notes

🦌 dailydazzledeer Follow

☀️ catdadofthedecade Follow

if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope taurus destroys the planet

55,932 notes

🦫 elchipichipichapachapa Follow

it's taken months, but i've finally finished it. the document explaining everything wrong with the sun and moon show

here's the link. enjoy

732 notes

☀️ catdadofthedecade Follow

every time one of us makes them mad, moon and nexus get closer to becoming the Hitachiin twins from ohshc to retaliate, and i fear the day they decide to just do it

🌕 ricksanchezreborn Follow

even the thought of doing that is stupid

🌑 twilightsparkleno1fan Follow

even the thought of doing that is stupid

☀️ catdadofthedecade Follow

HOW DID YOU BOTH REBLOG AT THE EXACT SAME TIME THIS POST HAS BEEN UP FOR 4 MINUTES

18 notes

🟦 woobificationofthesillies Follow

"we need more evil women in the world!!!" you people cant even handle miku

932,382 notes

🌠 worldrecordnutellaeater Follow

starting a conspiracy theory that we're all just puppets in a youtube show's script and that's why our lives are so miserable

🌠 worldrecordnutellaeater Follow

hey guys why was i shadowbanned after posting this

8 notes

[madockisser]

cardan/nicasia: why they’ll never happen again analysis/speculation

a while back i saw someone (or rather, a thread of ppl saying that they hope cardan and nicasia don’t get it on in the next book which is supposed to be nicasias book (supposedly) and i even saw someone say they WISH THEY DO ?!

so here’s your fun reminder of what nicasia put cardan through!

I’ve gathered together all the shit nicasia did to cardan: being the first girl he loved then breaking his heart w his friend, allowing cardan to catch them ON HIS BEDROOM FLOOR. (not entirely her fault but she totally had shits and giggles abt it when cardan confronted her) then when Locke screwed her over, she got CARDAN and his power as prince, to harass the girl(s) locke chose over her, one of which cardan liked, then later on was trying to manipulate him to marry her (which i think is when cardan realized they weren’t rly even friends anymore), THEN kidnapping and torturing the girl she knew cardan loved, AND befriending his abusive neglectful mother!

like damn. how u even fumble that bad, not just romantically but as a friend.

also I’d like to add her consistent entitlement, not just the whole “i bully girls bc I’m a princess and i can!” but the “cardan take me back even after i emotionally ruined you multiple times!” 😐

poor cardan

anyway, I’ve read lots of holly black books, and she is VERY mindful w abusive sort of relationships. and cheating relationships. she writes about them a LOT and each time they are pretty irredeemable.

note(the only exceptions):Taryn and hazel (darkest part of the forest) who sorta cheated on accident/ it wasn’t their fault-> but didn’t end well

add on note sorry: “but nicasia cheated on cardan on accident bc Locke was a gancanagh!” false! nicasia admitted that what her and Locke were doing was prolonged, the scene that cardan finds them is not their first time screwing around. nicasia KNOWINGLY cheated on cardan. then she was like “ok but i still care abt u! take me back” ?

now you can say that it could sorta be classified as an accident due to lockes natures (which are actually really disturbing if u think abt it) and that’s true, i never blamed nicasia for that relationship, but i do blame her for all the utter dogshit she not only put cardan thru, but Jude.

and this is cardan we are talking about. he who killed half an army for Jude when madoc tried taking his daughter back (sounds funny out of context).

we must remember that cardan does not want Jude hurt and humiliated and that’s exactly what nicasia went and did to Jude. through all the books bro. nicasia literally kidnapped and tortured Jude in the undersea so there’s 0 chance of cardan touching nicasia unless maybe to turn her into a tree again (but he can always just do that at a distance 😛)

anyway back to the cheating:

which is why i know that holly would never pull any sort of bull w cardan and nicasia, and you may be thinking (well that’s bullshit what do u know?) 3 separate books w cheating tropes, and 5+ diff relationships that involve cheating w no redemption. LOL

anyway black and i certainly agree on that front, and the way she uses the trope so consistently, and makes it so the cheaters are never endgame, or have a horrible death (Locke AND his mom, also Eva Duarte 😭the dude Ben dated from dpotf, and Kaye and that guy Janet was dating, Val and Tom and dave and lolli (modern faerie tales)) is pretty telling!

holly is great at writing healthy relationships, and she knows that tcp is her biggest hit w the media, so she won’t go and fuck that, not just bc she would never and it’s out of her writing style and character and literally moral compass when it comes to writing relationships, but also bc her publishers/editors would NEVER let that slide.

but i can’t wait for her book! i love knowing that nicasia will never have a chance w cardan again, it’s no less than what she deserves 😋

anyway sorry for ranting! I just feel so strongly abt this topic, cardan would never cheat on Jude, since he’s been cheated on before, and it was heart wrenching, and bc of his upbringing, he would never. if you haven’t, go thru my masterlist in my pinned and find the cardan /nicasia thing where i explain why he wouldn’t cheat far better there!

But feel free to add on, i probably missed a few things so lmk!! 🫶

[tirfpikachu]

sometimes i feel like, in certain cases, "detrans woman" and "nonbinary woman" ain't too different. and could even be used simultaneously by the same person without much issue. after all, isn't processing internalized misogyny and escaping the gender roles box for womanhood also a way someone can at the same time not feel like a binary man, not feel like a binary woman, but not feel like a not-woman either? after unlearning all the bullshit male society taught us, it can be destabilizing and create distance between us and other women. we might no longer feel like a normie woman. we've been awakened. we're no longer a gender roled woman, rolled up in everything she was taught she needed to be or she would fail at womanhood. we're an unfailible woman, we can't get a bad grade in womanhood bc we don't care about gender grades. we know it's all bullshit. we took back the power patriarchal society had over us. in that sense, we're not willingly binary anymore. and i think, over time, it's only going to get harder and harder to find women who are happily into the gender roles, the gender box assigned to them.

people fucking hate that, ofc. especially male people, and doubly so cis/bio men. they hate that we're awakened women. they hate that we found feminism and sisterhood and go detrans or use nonbinary in addition to woman, bc we reconnect with our body type and our upbringing. and by they, i mean both sides btw. the patriarchy hates that we found our power, of course. non-feminists scoff at us.

and... mainstream trans activists hate that our journey got us here, and hate how we make dysphoria seem curable in unmedical ways and transness more complex than they like to think. we complicate things. they hate that they found power in changing themselves (whatever makes them feel at peace ofc), while we tried to as well, but in the process we found our power was within us all along. we found that just being neutrally sexed animals, just female humans, female animals, girls the way that one calls a cat a sweet girl, cat first girl second, human first girl second... our bodies, our gender category, don't define us. anymore, anyways. anyone who defines us by our womanhood is a bigot, and we scrubbed our brains free of all the shit patriarchal brainwashing left in us. and for us, personally, it was enough to free us. that's not the case for anymore. some folks need more than that. some folks need to modify themselves beyond recognition to feel at peace with themselves. but i do hope they know that deep down, they were always good beings all along. i hope they know that gender is bullshit and sex says nothing about anyone's worth, personality, goals, interests, etc. it says fuckall about any of that. i don't care if i get a male or female rabbit. a rabbit is a rabbit. if i feel affection for a new pet, our connection is what matters [*]. i would never assign someone gender roles based on their sex. but it's sadly done way too often by parents and male society. if you're trans, temporarily or forever, you gotta clean up all your internalized misogyny and sexism/gncphobia. find kinship with other female people, or male gnc people if you're male. just check off some boxes. clean everything up. deep-clean your mind and your heart first.

[*] insert tras here being like, "why can't you be like that about dating? you dirty close-minded terfy homo dyke? why can't you love beyond genitals? beyond just bodies?" and these days i laugh and laugh and laugh at that shit because wow they have zero clue!! they don't know the sense of peace at having my female/afab body against another female/afab body, at knowing we were born the same, at knowing we went thru the same growing up, at knowing we understand eachother so, so deeply without saying a word bc she is what i am, she is where i have been, and i have suffered as she has suffered, and we are a love born of the connection all female beings share, the connection of bio dick havers treating us as prey. not knowing we're more powerful than they could ever dream of. do bodies like ours not hold the godly powers of creation itself? are we not gods in the literal sense, born creators, who get to choose if a new life should be made? do we not hold the future in the palm of our hand? to the dismay of penised beings? and do me and my beloved not love eachother only the way two gods could love one another, knowing the struggle, knowing the power? is the patriarchy not fighting tooth and nail to control us, wrestle us into submission before their phallic altar? do they not know it's impossible, for everything in us would dry up at the sight? do they not know that we can rely on sisterhood to get us through fucking anything? do they not know we masculinized ourselves and found ourselves happily female anyway? do they not know that i'd love her with a beard and five eyes, but if she was reborn male we would not be the same people to begin with (tho ofc i like to think the bodyswapped versions of us would have a love story too, we would not be us anymore, not this timeline's love story, she would be a different version of her and i would miss our og love)? because what is anyone without memories, and aren't childhood memories, puberty memories, some of the experiences most affected by one's body type (under the patriarchy), some of the most developmentally significant memories of all? is female just genitalia and estrogen puberty to tras, to "hearts not parts" type folks?

is female just a meat suit and not also the life experiences linked to it, our upbringing, a rich female culture one is born into? trans women might be immigrants into this female culture if they pass post-transition, they might get the exact body, but they just don't know the culture the way born into it do. any transfem will admit being transfem is hard, it's hard to merge into female culture when they self-admittedly don't know much about it. anyone not having been born into this culture, not being fluent the way only a native resident of femaleness can be, will show signs of it even if it's been 50+ years. you can't just wipe someone's upbringing clean, your past always leaves traces, and a transfem wouldn't be able to bond with other female4female lesbians on basic female upbringing things... when those are the things that make being into other female ppl so attractive for many of us! we just get eachother. we understand without even saying anything. we understand female body issues. there's a warm sense of peace emanating from that knowledge in my heart, knowing me and my girlfriend were born the same. we went through so many of the same things, all the good and the bad sides of growing up female. and i find that attractive as hell, and it brings me immense joy in life. there's so many inside jokes a transfem just wouldn't get the way my gf can. and i unfortunately need to add, since people get defensive, that this isn't shaming the transfem for not having those experiences. i hope the transfem will come to terms with not being female too. she can be a woman in society, but she's not born this way, she's an immigrant into womanhood, and that's okay. she still needs to let lesbians who are only into people raised female enjoy our unique sexuality that she just can't understand. i can't understand the transfem4transfem experience either. so what? isn't lgbt or 2slgbtqia+ or whatever culture all about inclusion and diversity in sexuality and gender expression? what about those who are girls the way animals are girls? we hate gender roles but we're personally definining cis womanhood as being female animals, female humans? what's so twisted about that? what about female4female lesbians? transmasc4transmasc can exist, why not us? why make everything so stupidly complicated for no reason? why shame us for how we were born, for being into others like ourselves?

i pity them, honestly. watch them bring girldick and male upbringing experiences to female4female lesbians, watch as we'll all dry up like the dying succulents on our windowsills and sip drinks laughing at the naked male bodies before us because they're so unsexual to us homodykes. watch as we raise eyebrows at the male's lack of misogyny in her upbringing, her lack of expertise on female culture, and just... everything that's so fundamentally unappealing to us. we can be friends. we can be allies. thankfully though, sex and marriage isn't activism. you can't play woke in the sheets. if you do, that's honestly sad. love isn't political. heteros made it political, but love is just love. and the love between two female people is normal. boring at times, even. we're normies. and if mainstream tras can't see that, well, maybe they have issues to work through in therapy. idk.

if two dysphoric ppl working through really hard shit end up feeling at peace with being female animals, female humans, and loving one another, if that's threatening, if that's bigoted, if that's twisted, well...

we detrans chicks and homodykes will find our own place to hangout. and we'll be nice to your faces, of course, but behind doors we're having a blast with others like ourselves. people like us have done this for as long as humanity has been alive, anyways. we always go underground and make it work anyhow. radblr is proof of that. idc if i have to go door to door checking if any homodyke is there, or if i have to comb thru tra spaces to find cool detrans folks, i will find others like me. that's what the marginalized have always done.

we're like lizards. we'll just find a cooler rock to party under🦎✌️

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Avengers AU where Thanos never happened.

Chapter 9

Warnings: swearing, angst

Radar tossed and turned all night, the session with Raynor had brought back so many memories that she had worked for years to bury.

Even Bucky didn't know many of the details of her past, just the major plot points.

She still believed deep down that she bore some responsibility for all of her troubles. That she could have done something different, or not done something, to have a better outcome.

Bucky didn't know that either and Dr Raynor had only reinforced that belief, making her feel like she was weak and a coward for leaving when things went bad.

At 3am she gave up and took a shower before going to the kitchen for something warm to drink, hoping it would help her relax. Of course, Bucky was already there.

Without a word he poured some of the cocoa he made into a mug for her, topping it off with some whipped cream.

Once she sat down and took a sip, he broke the silence "Are you ok, doll?"

Radar looked at him sadly, shrugging as she nodded "Sure. I'm still here, sometimes that's the best I can do."

Bucky nodded in understanding "Nightmares?"

"Yeah, your shrink is kind of a bitch and brought back a lot of memories I've tried to force down."

"I'm sorry, doll. She's got some tough love act that seems to make things worse before they get better. I shouldn't have asked you to come with me so soon."

Radar shook her head "It's not entirely on her, I have a lot of baggage. Most that you don't even know about."

She sighed "I don't know, it's stuff I've never told anyone else about but maybe that's part of my problem."

He nodded, "I understand, I'm not good at sharing my shit either, don't want to be a burden. But I'm here and I'll listen, anytime you need me. I know I fucked up taking John and Sharon's word about what I thought happened and I won't let that happen again."

She gave him a small smile "Yeah? I guess that's a start."

Then proceeded to fill in all the blanks that he didn't know about her past.

***Flashback***

Her father died in a terrible car accident when she was 7, or so they said. When she got older she realized there was something off about the whole situation, they said his brakes failed but he'd just had his car serviced.

It didn't take long for her mother to finish mourning him and find someone new. Not even a month.

Her half brother, Christopher, was born less than 6 months later. Y/N didn't understand the implications of the details until she was older.

The abuse from her stepfather, Rick, was just as much emotional as it was physical. Until she was 14 and it all came to a head.

It was a Friday night, her mother having a girls night out with her drinking buddies. Rick was working, he was a bartender at the local police watering hole. Her little brother, Christopher- 4 years old, was asleep in his room.

Y/N had a friend sleeping over, Diana, and they were hanging out, listening to music and talking about the boys they liked, Dave and his friend Will. When there was a knock at the front door, Y/N looked thru the peephole and saw the boys in question, making her giggle. She looked over at Diana, nodding with a grin on her face before opening the door.

The boys entered the house, hugging both girls.

"I'm not supposed to have boys over when my mom isn't home but you guys can hang out for a little bit."

They talked and Y/N danced with Dave while Diana and Will chatted on the couch. Dave leaned in to kiss Y/N when the front door slammed open, making her jump. It was Rick, spoiling things like he always did.

Rick looked at them and started yelling at Y/N before chasing Will and Dave out of the house.

When he came back inside, he pushed her up against the wall "Just wait, you little bitch. I'll tell your mom about this and you'll be grounded until you graduate."

He then went into a rant, telling her how awful her father was and how she'd be a loser like him.

Y/N was near tears as Rick threw every vile name and insult he could think of, at her "Why can't you just leave me alone, Rick?"

Rick laughed "I'll leave you alone when you get the fuck out of my house."

She shook her head "It's not your house, my dad bought this house!"

He scoffed "Details. I'm the man of this house now and you goddamn well better listen when I gave you an order. Now. Get. Out! Or I'll pick your ass up and throw you out."

She went to her room and filled her duffle bag with her clothes and her favorite items from the bathroom, she didn't have much. A plush Winnie the Pooh that her father had given her when she was little and a few pictures of him were the most precious. Then she drew a crayon stick figure picture of her and her brother with a heart around it and hid it in his favorite toy truck.

Diana's dad was waiting out front for them, having hurried over when his daughter called him.

Y/N spent the night at her friends house and woke up to hear Rick yelling at Diana's dad, Ernie. Ernie let Y/Ns mom inside to talk but stayed outside with Rick. An hour later her mother left with Rick, after telling Y/N that she wasn't welcome in her home anymore.

After that, Diana's parents took her in and took care of her until she finished school. She graduated high school and completed an associates degree online before enlisting at 19.

She hadn't told Bucky the whole story. He knew she had an abusive stepfather and enabler mother and that she enlisted to get away. She had told him bits and pieces of her childhood but said they had all died in the crash that killed her little brother, Christopher.

Her mother and Rick were still alive, still together to this day. His drinking and cheating were all out in the open because after he had served almost 10 years for DUI manslaughter in Christopher's death and her mother had been waiting for him he knew she would stay no matter what he did. Besides she had a decent job and it was hard for an ex-con to find work. He stayed home drinking and watching TV except when he was out drinking and taking random women to cheap motels. Often returning home reeking of alcohol and other women but his wife said nothing.

Radar's friends back home always gave her the local gossip and her parents were always one of the top 10 subjects.

Her dreams had been full of her little brother and the accident that killed him.

Her mother had been holding Christopher in her lap in the front seat, no car seat, and the airbag broke his neck, killing him instantly. Somehow her mother and stepfather had survived barely harmed but she only hated them more. There had been charges filed and her mother spent a short time in jail but nowhere near what Radar thought she deserved. The jury fell for her crocodile tears, even though Rick went down for it.

It would have been bad enough if the trauma ended there but she often felt like it followed her around, her own black cloud.

Y/N hadn't told Bucky all of the cruel and humiliating things John had done that lead to her leaving the Army. Drugging her wasn't a new thing for John when he helped destroy her relationship with Bucky, except it had been worse.

When they were together, he would drug her, then take advantage of her and let his friends have a turn. She didn't know until she found the pictures, that were so much worse than what Sharon showed Bucky.

John insisted that if she loved him, she would do whatever it took to make him happy.

Their C.O. had waved it all off as normal couple issues that were being exaggerated by a hysterical woman.

Then Radar had been passed over for a promotion that was promised and past due, and another, making her realize that making a complaint about her unit's golden boy had put a target on her back.

After they broke up, she received orders for her new assignment in the Arizona desert and had enough. As soon as she moved there, she spoke to the C.O. about resigning when her current enlistment term ended in 18 months. Her new C.O. was a woman and understood, regretfully accepting her letter of resignation and writing a recommendation for the CIA.

The CIA had been great for her, feeling like she was still serving the people and being useful, until her back injury. She wasn't made for desk duty and hadn't intended for her friendship to become romantic but the thrill of keeping an affair with her supervisor secret gave a similar rush to putting herself in danger in the field. Until they were discovered.

Of course her supervisor was given the opportunity to keep her job and title but Radar, being lower in the pecking order was let go.

Looking back she knew she was lucky that her service record kept them from blackballing her completely and she was recruited by Nick Fury to help rebuild SHIELD into SWORD.

***END Flashback***

Radar was exhausted after spilling the details of her past but she felt somehow lighter for having shared that burden.

Bucky held her as she cried, rubbing her back and murmuring softly into her hair "its ok, doll. I've gotchu. I'm right here."

He pushed down the rage inside him, wishing Steve hadn't pulled him away from Walker. He didn't want Rader to feel it and put it aside to deal with later.

When her crying calmed, Radar looked up at Bucky with red eyes "You see? Raynor is right. I'm a coward who runs away when things get rough."

Bucky shook his head "No! That's not true. You tried to fix things, make them better and when it didn't work you were brave enough to walk away and start over. Sounds like real courage to me."

They talked for a short while longer until Radar fell asleep against his shoulder. He tried not to chuckle when he heard her soft snores and stretched his legs out before falling asleep himself.

@unaxv @calwitch @buckitostan @cjand10 . @vicmc624 @sandrab02

[sugar-omi]

bro that teen pregnancy shit fucked me upppp 😭 I fr am in tears and rolling around my bed lol

my brain went on a tangent halfway thru the moms section I was like damn okay what if mc and cove just ran away huh then what

AND THEN I remembered they’ve already ran away before which is part of why mom is so worried about cove’s influence and hellooooo???? full circle moment 🫢 made myself gasp fr

ya u make me think so many thoughts on this one good lordddd

-🗑️

LOL AWW I DIDN'T THINK EVERYONE WOULD GET SO EMOTIONAL </3 AND LMAOOO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT ABT RUNNING AWAY AGAIN, PLEASE IS THIS GONNA BE A TRADITION LOL anyway, well good morning!!!! here's more angst n food for thought🤭🤭

tags : Angst / Hurt/Comfort, headcanons, fem/afab reader, pregnancy

[part 1: "everyone finding out cove and MC got engaged because they're pregnant"]

his whole world stops. his ears feel like they've been stuffed with cotton and his world is spinning outta control.

now lets assume the rubber broke, just for, simplicity n lore sake.

it's not that he wasn't already worried about this happening, he had been worrying about this for weeks since you realized what happened.

but even then, he already had the fear of god in him about this happening. both because his mom and dad were on him about safe sex, but also because he has a lot of feelings about being an accident n child to teen parents... and he really didn't want to recreate that situation or put feelings like that onto another life, another human with complex emotions and many many thoughts. a human and life he's responsible for.

it shocks him so much, because he's very worried about repeating of his childhood on his child, and his kid feeling the same way he did/does.

he already knows that either way, the babe will probably have mixed feelings on being a accident, and essentially being a bump in road of his young parents lives

but it's also everything he had been worrying about, finally coming to fruition.

even though he's very, very stressed and scared for your futures, he's long since decided to make it work. he really wants to make it work. he wants to do the best by you, and the babe. and he wants to give his kid what he didn't have.

but anyway...

you're very worried about dropping the news on him

and i bought you aren't surprised at how pale cove gets when you drop the news...

and if he's not sitting down already, he is now. (he might just faint, like forreal this time too from the looks of it...)

he's very emotional, and super nervous, but what scares you is that he's very quiet...

when he does speak though, his first question is "what're.. what are you gonna do?"

because before he gets too emotional, he wants to know what you want first. you're carrying the baby and you're the one who'd go through all the changes, and you're the one who has the most intense feelings and being pregnant makes your emotions n hormones even crazier and more intensified.

all that plus how young you two are? and all the plans you two had? yeah, it's a lot, and regardless of how he feels, he wants to do whatever you want and he'd understand if you decide not to keep it.

but if you say right then and there, you wanna keep it, cove says he'll take care of you, and the babe, comforts you and hugs you. then he says wants to get married..

or if you say you dont know... cove says you two will work through these emotions, and that no matter what, he'll take care of you, and the baby if you want it.

when you do eventually say you want to keep it, even if you say this a couple minutes after, or a few days after, cove comforts you again and promises you'll work through this, and that it'll be okay.

then he brings up getting married...

of course it's more emotional, and maybe even a bit romantic!

so imagine this, you're sitting on your bed, and you and cove are hugging each other, you're wrapped up in his arms and it's a great comfort.

you're both really emotional, and calming down after crying and having a moment.

cove pulls away, takes your hands in his and even with glassy, red eyes he has a determined expression. goes on about how much he loves you, and how much he treasures you, and that he's going to do his best for you, and take care of everything.

his speech probably draws you back to tears, even brings him to tears but he keeps going because he needs to tell you all this!!

"y/n... i want to marry you, i want us to be a family.. i know i don't have a ring and this isn't very romantic but.. will you marry me?"

doesn't matter if you say yes right away or if you ask him if he's sure he wants to get married, he reassures you he's not just doing this because he thinks it is what you and/or your or his family would want.

he wants to marry you anyway, why wait?

now about telling your parents.

regardless of if you have cove there while you tell them, or you do it alone, lets say cove finds out what your mom said about him being a bad influence.

i also think your moms are a bit icy with cove too, so even if he has to force out all the details of your conversation, he already knows your moms aren't happy

but to know your mom thought, maybe even thinks so still especially with the news, that he was/is a bad influence on you.

it makes him sad. because what if she, or even both your parents, thinks that cove is dragging your life down with marriage and a baby?

well, like i said in the first post, this totally opens up a new can of insecurities and doubts, and he kinda spirals into his own mind.

he even starts thinking about what if you regret marrying him, and/or having his baby. what if you decide you hate being a parent, or being married, or being a family all together?

what if this holds you back so much that you start to resent him. god he's so afraid of you resenting him.

and your moms being short with him doesn't make him feel better because now he just had a thought, what if your family hates him so much that they start talking to you about how much of a mess this is, and then you realize how they're right, and decide to leave him, or even worse, leave him and the baby?

it's all very irrational thoughts, and when he wakes up (after maybe 3 hours sleep), he realizes it is a bit.. ridiculous. just a bit. he knows you wouldn't abandon him so easily, and you certainly wouldn't be swayed by your family

but he also wouldn't blame you if you had, or have (now or in the future), any resentments. he just really wants it to work.

i think this is also the time when he realizes exactly how much his parents divorce fucked him up.

he very determined for you two to make it work as a family. not co-parents.

he wants to see his kid every day, he wants to see you everyday, he wants to celebrate every milestone as a family and he definitely doesn't want to fight with you like his parents did. and even more so doesn't want to make your kid hear or see all of it.

he doesn't wanna fight, and then you or him walk out for hours or days. doesn't wanna sleep in separate rooms, doesn't wanna sleep by the crib to comfort himself with the presence of his darling baby, or because you two fought, like his dad used to.

doesn't wanna have to explain why mommy* and daddy are fighting, or why they don't sleep in the same room, or why they aren't talking to each other, or why they aren't living together anymore.

definitely doesn't want to explain what divorce is and what that means for them.

(*just saying mommy for simplicity sake)

but he also doesn't want to repeat what his dad did, and take on all the burden by himself.

it's hard to find a balance too, because he's torn between working his ass off to provide and prove that he can do it, that you aren't making a mistake... and accepting help, or letting himself relax sometimes.

but i think wanting to be there for you during the pregnancy, forces him to leave his days more open.

of course he still works more than usual, but he also makes sure to carve out time to see you, and be there to comfort you or bring you food, flowers, or go on a date.

remember i mentioned therapy in the last post?

please encourage him to start it. because this is a very big transition in your lives, and you both want the best for yourselves and the baby, so lets do the work before they get here, okay?

fighting with his dad

now he definitely appreciates his parents concern, and their support and words of wisdom, all that stuff...

but when his dad says something like "you don't want to end up like me and your mom." or "you shouldn't mess up your future." or even if he insistently tells cove, "think about your future! y/n's future!"

cove gets upset, just because does that mean his dad is projecting onto him, and telling him that they're fucking up just like he and mom did? or is he telling him that he's dragging your future and his into the mud?

either way, that's what makes him say something mean, just like i said in the last post:

cove would probably end up saying something (a bit) hurtful like "i would never end up like you and mom." , "i would never marry MC if i didn't know it'd work. unlike some people, i'm not gonna make my kid listen to us argue and then try to play happy family." , or "trust me, my kid won't end up with a childhood like mine." / "trust me, my marriage won't end up like yours."

he definitely hangs up the call or walks away from his dad immediately afterward, shaking with anger and anxiety. he's so stressed. and he's worked up.

after the argument, there's only 2 places cove could go at this moment. to you, or to work.

and if he's at work, he's distracted, but tries to focus on his job. he's still mad at his dad, and he already feels like crying. he really didn't need his dad to doubt him.

he gets it. he gets it, he really really does. but he feels so fragile, that he'd really appreciate a little faith.

now if he's with you, which he'd probably run to you after work anyway just so he doesn't have to face his dad yet. he's like a big baby

he's holding you, arms around your waist and his head on your stomach or lap, or you're laying on your side and he has his hand on your belly, as if he's waiting for the baby to reach for his hand through your tummy.

when he tells you what happened, and why he's so somber, please run your fingers through his hair and just listen to him for a bit... eventually he'll start rambling about all the things he's been holding onto, including his fears about you resenting him

it'll probably be a long talk, but once you reassure him that you wanna make it work too, and that you know cove will be a good dad (and vice versa), and that your moms don't hate him, they're just... upset. and worked up about the turn of events.

and you talk about his dad too, and the argument, you both realize it comes from a place of concern.

he doesn't wanna see you two try to be a family and fail. he doesn't want you to make mistakes he did while raising cove...

conclusion, it's a very fruitful conversation. and cove goes back home, teary eyed and a bit like a lost puppy, and that night he doesn't find his dad waiting for him (cliff tries to work as late as possible, both because he wanted to give cove some space, but also because he has a bad habit of avoiding situations... so when he does get home, he spends the night in his room)

of course they can't avoid each other forever, and the next day cove actually makes the effort to find his dad during his lunch break to apologize.

he said something really hurtful, that i don't think cove could live with if he didn't apologize.

his dad definitely laughs when cove mentions that you said that cove should try therapy, and even if you don't say that his dad should consider it too, cove does say to his dad that a family therapist sounds like a good idea.

[quyqyart]

This scene suffered from the pace being rushed which makes it hard to understand what Kabru is going on about if you didn't piece together the story through his POV. This is unfortunate cuz this moment is so realistically messy yet is the satisfying moment when the leading and supporting characters finally come into an understanding.

Kabru's antagonism makes perfect sense only if the readers remove themselves from their favoritism to Laios.

I see some confusion over why he thinks Laios is an enemy of humanity. Firstly, Laios thinks the things that killed all of his family and community are cool. This alone to me is at least sympathetic enough to see why he harbors subconscious prejudice against Laios. It doesn't make him right, but it's logical enough.

Secondly, yeah he's in over his head with his own judgment and thinks too highly of his own motive*. Thirdly, he's bit of a dick to Laios I won't even lie here (I do blame stress for the punch) . But like everyone except Falin is a fucking dick to Laios when you think about it.

And to be completely fair, ever since he knew of Laios' interest till even here still Kabru's been flip-flopping between "This man might save us all" and "He would choose monsters over humanity, we are doomed if he got the power which he is very close to getting rn, let kill him". It's not like he went 100% antagonistic.

This is getting long so,,,My breakdown of Kabru's pov, which explains his actions regarding Laios, under the readmore.

Let see thru Kabru's pov in chronological order:

Taking it from the start, Kabru has a bit of a savior complex no doubt stems from his survival guilt. Being the sole survivor of a massacre by monsters it's understandable he feel that it's his duty to find out why it happened and prevent it from happening again. We saw him and his crew talking shit about how good he is at reading people, and he totally gonna topple the greedy governor and save this place. Then they continuously got their asses handed to them by monsters cuz while Kabru read people well, he can't handle monsters. So yeah he admitted deep down he's not making it to the deep.

So now Kabru wants to find someone he can trust to save the island. He got his eyes on Laios bc he can't read him. Laios is a damn good dungeon explorer and isn't motivated by greed while almost everyone is, so what gives?

Here we see Kabru reveals he had failed to get Laios attention while trying to get to know his mysterious party. This is my interpretation only but he was definitely pissed about it too. Kabru is a bit over his head about his own charm so Laios ignoring him probably stunk.

Even after knowing Laios' special interest he was like "huh so that's how he is" until the matter of dungeon master's power come up and it occurred to him "wait would this guy who loves monsters use the power to make the dungeon full of powerful monsters that will destroy people?" He definitely did not decide Laios was humanity emeny right there, it's a possibility. As much as Laios pulling through and save the island from becoming another Utaya tragedy is a possibility.

Here, we see him desperately clinging to the former possibility until the latter took over "It's too late to get through to him i have to kill him." But did it take over? In that panic, his true feeling comes out. He still wants to understand Laios as a person, he still wants to believe in Laios after all.

Wgile it's easy to get pissed at Kabru just as we did the the Shuro/Toshiro vs Laios fight scene. Fellow autistics know how much it fucking hurt to get your social ineptitude get dragged out like that. I do think Kabru's rant here is good for Laios. This is the first time somebody has admitted to want to get to know why he like monsters despite them hating the creatures. It's not the solidarity like what he and his sister has, but it's not total rejection. Again, his own party members who care about him want nothing to do with his interest (minus Senshi)

Tldr: Kabru's alright and his actions make complete sense even if it's flawed

[dragonridernoobie]

How Optimus, Ratchet, and Megatron act when they meet someone that is forgetful but good with swords

Request open still!!!

I'm not gonna lie. I never watched Demon Slayer, but I appreciate you telling the characteristics for S/O!

Optimus

When he first met you, you where practicing you're sword attacks in the forest.

He watched you and was impressed by the sword skills.

But like all good/cool things had to come to an end.

The decepticons found optimus (somehow) and attacked him.

He wasted no time picking you up and calling for a ground bridge.

There, he interduced you to everyone and told you the story why he was here, just he did with miko, Jack, and Raph.

He decided that he will be you're gurdien and this is where you're friendship bloomed.

It came clear very FUCKING quickly to optimus that you where forgetful.

Most times he had to remind you to go grab you're backpack, lunch, homework, and even you're sword.

It never bothers him. He enjoys it since it's always different, and it always keeps him on his toes.

He confess his feelings for you and you guys became a thing.

He was 100000% more protective of you.

He understands you are great with a sword but it'd a sword.

Oh boy, did you prove him wrong.

Miko pulled, well, a miko, and dragged you into the portal with her.

You where attacked by decepticons and optimus was fearing the worse when he went thru the portal to get you.

Expect to find you missing but just finds you beating the living SHIT out of the drones.

He is amazed that you where able to fight somone almost 200x you're size but saw that you truly can hold you're own

You forgot about the fight 2 hours later.

Ratchet

Ratchet was asked to open a ground bridge for Optimus.

When he did, he wasn't so happy to see ANOTHER human.

Tho, he did notice the sword you had.

He was assigned to be you're guardian as much as he protested.

He learns really quickly how forgetful you are and it annoys him.

Always reminding you to get you're bag, eat something, drink some water, To FUCKING BREATH!

(Yes there was a time you forgot to breath)

He gets more and more annoyed with you but somehow you manged to get into this old bots spark.

As much as he hated the fact that he fell for you, you always made him laugh when you forget what you are doing or anything really.

The sword tho, he wasn't so sure about.

He was worried that you would hurt yourself because of how forgetful you are.

Tho, you proved him wrong when the tables have turned and you where the one protecting him.

He was driving you home from (work/school) and he was attacked by Knockout.

He was thrown to the ground, hurt.

He told you to run but you did no such thing, you stood you're ground and held out you're sword.

He saw how you took on knockout and won.

You definitely got a ear full about safety and how reckless you where but he also made sure to tell you how proud he is of you.

That night he confess his feelings and you returned them.

If you don't return his feelings, you are a monster

Megatron

He met you when you where taken from the forest by one of his vicons and brought to you.

He noticed that you had a sword, but he still let you keep it when he thru you into a little cage.

Thinking you won't be able to do anything with that dinky little thing.

Even tho you where assigned to Soundwave he still came by to ask you for information about the autobots.

You kept telling him you don't know who they are.

He notices very quickly that you forget alot.

He tries to use this in his advantage but fails.

After weeks being kept in that cage, he took you out and he shrunk down to you're size.

Or at lest you're size, since he was still a whole 4 ft. Taller then you.

He was impressed by you're sword skills, to the point he actually had fun fighting you.

You reminded him of his old days.

He watched how you fought and actually gave you tips on how to fight.

(No the lord scary megatron ain't being soft.)

Eventually you gained his friendship that he let's you sit on his shoulder alot.

He loves your poor memory, just like optimus. It's always exciting to see what you forget next.

He confessed his love to you when you invited you to the roof of the warship.

You return you're feelings.

Hope you enjoyed! Please remember to request any character on my list! I'm always open!!!

[herejusttosufferalong]

Y'all, I've been glued to this saga because L and R are so similar to what I went thru with my ex, like down to the sleeping on the couch thing, only reversed, that I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A and S don't know what they're in for.

Storytime: My ex's Rory is called Mike and they met playing a sport in college when X was a freshman and M was a super senior, so he's ~4 years older. M took X under his wing and they became bros for life I guess. M is super nice and goofy but a hot mess as a person, can't be trusted with the simplest of tasks but gets by by being beloved by everyone. X has consistently thrown him bones, brought him on to projects and recommended him for gigs at the expense of his own career and reputation. You can't make this shit up.

X and I were long distance for the first ~year of the relationship, I moved out to him to a small ass town an hour away from anywhere because of his job and because it was cheap. We were in a 1bd apartment and the first little while was bliss, hot and heavy, amazing. It was my first time living with a partner. Maybe a few months in, M calls X - he got a job in the city an hour away and he's moving down. X gets the brilliant idea to invite him to stay on our couch until he finds a place. I was fine with it at first because he was a super nice guy but I had no idea what I was getting into. Ladies, when I tell you I became the 3rd wheel in my own relationship and a ghost in my own home, I'm not being dramatic.

I was working from home so I was alone all day in a town where I knew no one who wasn't connected to X in some way and when the two of them would get home, they'd bro out with each other and I basically had to compete for my bf's attention. We stopped doing anything that didn't include him and constantly had to be mindful about how loud we were in the bedroom because he was on the fucking couch. I couldn't relax in my own home that I was paying rent and bills for. Mind you, M at this point was further along in his career than X and making way more money. Two months pass, he still hasn't found a place and instead commutes an hour each way to work. Then the fucking pandemic hits. I was the only one working initially and I was at home with the two of them playing video games, working out, watching TV, yelling, laughing, on TT, on Zoom with their other buddies 24/7 while I was trying to work. We'd constantly end up doing whatever they wanted to do. Dude stayed on our couch for like 10 1/2 months, only paying for groceries, takeout and activities here and there. I kinda snapped during the holidays, I drove across the country alone to be with my family and didn't go back, my dad then made a round trip to go get my stuff because I just couldn't even look at X. Only then did it occur to X and M that maybe M should move out. But you know what the narrative in his friend group is about me? That I'm a cold bitch who broke his heart.

I look back on it now and I'm angry at myself for being such a dummy, I was a total pushover. My X wasn't a bad dude, he was just too much of a bro to know how to be a bf. He always felt a need to include everyone but that cut into the little time we had together. In my defense, he was really hot lol.

It's crazy to think how different my life is now with my fiance, we just bought a house earlier this spring, which wouldn't have been possible with my X because he spends all his money on his hobbies. X literally did the same HBS thing L did after I dumped him, hit the gym like crazy, he follows like a thousand half naked girls on IG, likes all their posts and thirsts in the comments, it's beyond cringe. This is also on his fully public IG account that he also uses for work. He hasn't been in a serious relationship since, I'm told he's become quite the fboy, but he's collected a seemingly infinite amount of new bros judging by his posts. M is still in the picture, of course, although he has his own place and a serious gf now, while my ex has a new roommate who he plays an expensive, niche equipment sport with that he spends every penny he earns on. My ex was a Leo, so I'm not surprised L has it prominently in his chart.

This stuff is not uncommon among younger Millennial men. My now fiance is 5 years older and he is a Man. He shows up for me the way I show up for him, he doesn't make plans without considering me and he's on top of his finances. He's a serious person. I never knew I could be at peace like this. I know what I'm building towards with him. A and S are just sidepieces to the main love story that is L and R and if/when one of them gets dumped, the other one will as well. They're there because they go along with what L and R want. It'll come back to bite them in the ass but they'll learn an invaluable lesson the way that I did - don't date a manchild who won't prioritize you over his friends.

some good advice for the youngins

thank you for sharing 💜🥃

[rosewaterandivy]

9. part-time soulmate, full-time problem

Summary: Rumor has it, that hometown hero-turned-teacher Steve Harrington is hot for teacher. The English teacher next door to him at Hawkins High, who also happens to be his childhood friend, that is.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x chaotic!dumbass reader

Warnings: No use of y/n - reader goes by the nickname Trouble instead, cursing, sexual situations - SMUT & idolatry (my usual bullshit), we think we’re ~prank Sinatra~ to disastrous effect i.e. a fake elopement, Modern!Teacher AU, English teacher reader, History teacher Steve, slow burn, friends to lovers, romance.

A/N: hey girl, u up? lemme come thru 💦💦💦 🥵🥵🥵 *slaps roof of fic* You can fit so much reverence and smut in this bad boy. Here’s 5.1K of pure filth and debauchery, holy water can’t help me now! Poetry excerpt from Sue Zhao. 18+ mature content (minors dni). Reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated, please let me know what you thought; enjoy & thanks for reading! 💜

series masterlist | playlist - newly updated!

Steve's playlist for Trouble: trouble will find me

previous || next

Now, Spring Break, Joshua Tree, CA ➡️ Las Vegas, NV 

“You did what?”

And it’s not a question, not by a long shot. 

If Nancy Wheeler wasn’t some 1,800 miles from you, you’d be seeing the patented snarl right now. The one that says ‘you’ll be dead by my hand and my hand alone.’

There’s a very real possibility that you’ve overplayed your hand this time. What started as a prank, a harmless lark, had devolved into one screeching phone call from Steve’s mother for him and a blistering series rapid-fire of texts for you, followed by a phone call during which Nancy was going to rip you a new asshole.

She didn’t appreciate your texts as you’d hoped.

Trouble 👁️👄👁️: so BDE is not *just* an energy with Steve. got it, good to know.

Natty light 💯: She lives! We haven’t heard from you in days. Wtf did you idiots do?

Trouble 👁️👄👁️: nothing to be concerned about! on an unrelated note, before you check insta remember that i am your BESTIE and you would miss me terribly(!!!) if i died, even if it was at your own hand

Natty light 💯: … I’m going to kill you, and resurrect your dessicated corpse so I can strangle you … slowly and painfully

Trouble 👁️👄👁️: pls mother, no, i’m scared

But hey, it’s not like you woke up and decided to potentially fuck up your life today.

So, yeah. Definitely went too far with it this time, but in your defense, it’s not like anyone was there to reign you in. Steve was just as liable to go on with your half-cocked schemes, even more so now that you could sit back on your heels, all pretty smiles and wide, sweet eyes as your hands unbuckle his belt, still supplicated with chin on his knee, “You said anything...”

Folded like a house of cards the second you got your mouth on him. Shudders when you begin with your tongue first before eager lips stretch to fit him, guiding until he’s nestled in your mouth. And then you move, deliberately measured, building a lazy pace, sluicing him up with spit.

“Ah, shit…” Steve’s words are already betraying him. You smile as his cock pops out of your mouth.

“How’s that? Still wanna make that dinner reservation?” Thick lashes framing glittering doe-eyes peer up at him. Purposely coy. “Or do you want to stay here?”

He returns to himself. Dazed, he blinks at the bright lights and the glossy tiled floor. The marble countertop of the sink where he grips like a lifeline.

The restroom down the hall of the restaurant. Turn a corner and twenty people are sitting at tables, drinking cocktails and cajoling. Your mouth back on him wipes the thoughts from his brain.

Squelching when you push him back past your molars, crushing your tongue.

You slide him out, voice hoarse and breathy and it chills him to the bone the way you whisper, “C’mon baby, let’s have some fun.”

The second day in California runs a lot more smoothly, and the third day is as easy as a breeze. Granted, it’s a hot, humid, sticky type of desert breeze as you wipe a hand across your forehead in the heat of the day.

Steve hums a patient tune, leans back on both palms and you watch the sunlight drape his bare chest in a warm flare. Glowing gold and bronze as if it’s transmuted from the hue in his very eyes.

He is hard and hot when your bare skin touches his. Steve lies down on his side to face you, panting slightly as you glide your hand up and down his arm. Oh fuck, it’s been months and the first man you touch is more like something carved by a master sculptor of Renaissance than any other man. It should be illegal for someone to look this good.

Trembling, you touch the hard planes of his torso, the ridges in his abdomen, the swell of his chest taking hard breaths. You shut your eyes and imagine the way he looks right now—breathless and wild. His knee parts your legs easily and one hand descends to feel your center, saturating your underwear.

“Jesus, baby,” Steve sighs into your neck. “You’re makin’ me crazy. This–” He begins to slide his digits up and down, getting the slippery wetness all over his fingers, “Already…”

A shudder rolls through your body upon hearing his words and you arch into his touch, moaning when he rubs your clit in perfect pulsing circles. He moves forward, kissing the tops of your breasts through your bra, nipping at the soft flesh spilling from the cups.

“Steve, you’ll make me come.” You admit, a little shyly even as your hips rock consciously into his hand. You paw at his arms, squeezing the ridges of muscles.

And you’re abruptly startled awake by the sound your own moans. It’s past four in the morning when you rouse from sleep, frustrated to leave behind the pleasant escape the dream provided.

Damn it all to hell.

A creak of the wood door alerts you to his arrival. Steve is quiet when he sits on your bed, one knee pulled up to his chest while the other leg slinks down by your side, thigh brushing yours where your legs kicked off the covers. A sigh rolls through him at the early hour.

There is discomfort. His body retreats with the shift of your atmosphere. Always too itchy in your own skin. Afraid of being seen, noticed, thought about. He’s good at hearing your silence. Good at reading your language.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

He glistens like a god come to drown you in the sweetest of dreams. It makes your heart plummet to its death at the thought of his departure when you shake your head.

“Me neither.”

He lays back on your bed with a tired sigh, close enough to touch. Your own personal wonder.

“C’mere then,” you tug him to your side. Steve presses his lips to your neck, smiles into the wispy hair at the nape, nuzzles your locks aside to reveal more shoulder. Breathing soft and slow with his face against your neck, chest to your chest. He’s folded and tucked against you, all his strength and gravity nestled to your side.

“Honey—” Steve murmurs, more purposefully now, rasps your name, so soft and reverent you almost don’t hear it.

A confused noise, a second of readjustment to a new position, to his touch, and then you stir and purr.

“Hey, you.” Voice like warm fire, even with disrupted sleep from past few days.

A heavy silence falls between you.

Tell me what you’re thinking. If it was a mistake, tell me. If it wasn’t, tell me. You’ve been avoiding me and look—I want your goddamn babies, but c’mon. You gotta throw me a bone, I’m shit at reading signs.

He wants to take you to pieces, eyes roving your sleep-drowsy form, shorts rucked up on your thighs, shirt askew. Would devour you whole if you’d let him, savor your cries and moans at his capable hands. Make a ruin you only to build you right back up, unable to think of anyone else save him.

Steve arches, brushing the tip of his nose against your chin, up to your own nose, mouth hovering but not quite touching, just feeling each other’s atmosphere. You cross the distance and kiss him, grip tighter now like he could collapse right into you and god, you wish he could. Let you keep every last bit of him forever.

“Can we—”

You savor his lips, caressing the line of his cupid’s bow with your own, tongue flicking over the corners of his mouth, punctuating it chastely like a ritual. He moans, hand on the plane of your back moving, fingers scrambling at your spine before he palms your thigh and slots you flush against his torso with one leg hooked around his waist.

“God yes. Lemme just—”

He tugs at the waistband of your sleeping shorts before he changes his mind and his hands slip into the leg opening of the silk instead, keeping you right where you are. He rucks his own sweats down, just enough to spring himself free, shushing your whines, never letting you get too far, slipping upward, finding your heat.

“Eyes on me, baby.”

“Okay, Steve—ah—”

Right. So this is happening. Like, right the fuck now. 

Oh god.

You’re both surprised and terrified, blinking at his urgency, and then you start scrambling, too. A beatific grin blooms on your lips before you tip forward and slowly glide yourself down his considerable size, rubbing back and forth, hips moving easily.

Steve stutters breathlessly like he might go into shock. “You’re all fucking— oh fuckin’ hell.”

You only arch into it, holding his chin between your thumb and forefinger, kissing the bristles of his jaw. You’re soft and warm and he’s utterly overcome. Little noises fall from one mouth to another. An awkward shift and your thighs slip off his, head knocking into him, but neither of you are bothered.

A half-hearted cluck of your tongue gives way to a low moan and you shuffle, flush against his chest, bare bodies warm and growing hotter now. Your palm rubs down his chest, savoring the rougher feel of his hairs there, contrasting your own skin, grasping his jutting hipbones, the strong plane of his abdomen.

Eager fingers slip between flesh. Velvet and surprisingly slick and wrapping around his digits like syrupy flower petals. “Baby girl,” Steve hums at the way you sigh. “Pretty girl.”

Shudders. You’re weak and boneless, slack and supple, pliant to his fingers and words. Little sweet-talker, you never knew he had such a clever tongue until he first slid it against yours in that fevered kiss in December. Now he’ll know all your weaknesses, know every lock and how to pick them until you’re all the way opened up for him.

It’s hard to focus when he’s like this. Perfectly warm. Perfectly adoring. Perfectly fitted. So, so bright with the faintest pink bursting over his cheeks.

You whimper with his every stroke. Every plunge. His other hand runs itself up the nape of your neck, fingertips in your scalp and you arch like a cat for more. 

“So good,” Steve praises, “Nice and tight, squeezin’ around me. All wet for me, aren’t you?” 

“Uh— mhm.” Inarticulate noises. Woozy and wrapped in his affection.

His eyes– pupils blown wide, half-hooded with lust and love– immobilize you, memorizing every inch of your face. He smiles. Christ, a smile that could launch a thousand ships. That could blind the whole world.

You curse quietly, blood pounding in your ears, your chest, your throat where he latches on with his perfect mouth, marking you up with his spit quickly followed by his teeth.

“Keep going—oh, don’t stop–“

“You want it like this, honey?” He sucks on your collar, on your shoulder, taking every whimper and cry as a command to continue.

They flower all over your chest. Red and purple and swollen bright for everyone to see—just like him. And the very thought of him, of you, lost to it takes you over the edge, calling his name like you’re at an altar in supplication.

“That’s it, honey. Be a good girl and come for me.”

With a tremble that vibrates all the way to into Steve’s soul, you obey. Onto his hips and abdomen, gushing a little, and with some embarrassment that it happened all so quickly. 

Your lids flutter open and you see as Steve hitches himself deeper, grinding his hips, gripping your thighs, and fills you all the way up until the stars behind your eyes whites out your vision, making you stutter and keen as you continue to fall apart.

Then he stills, pulling you even closer, body slick with dew in the early morning light. The two of you lie in perfect symmetry, trembling in each other’s arms.

And because you’re a sap with too much poetry rattling around your brain, all that pops into your head is:

In my dreams I am kissing your mouth and you’re whispering ‘where have you been?’ I say, ‘I’ve been lost but I’m here now. You’re the only person who has ever been able to find me.’

You allow yourself to sink into the feeling, expecting the tight fit of something new but finding that not to be the case at all. But rather brushing against something well-worn, as if it had been waiting for you all this time. 

“God, Steve—” you rasp. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

Steve laughs low, kisses the blooming bruises up and down your neck, makes you whine again, sensitive and aching. His clever tongue wonders sweetly, “How’s staying in bed all day sound?”

You laugh. He’ll learn everything you like. Know all your weaknesses. How can you say no to something like that?

It’s different, almost tender in the afternoon. 

His abs clench in time with his fists, wet fingers digging into his palms, bit-back groans barely contained. You keep going, marveling at the way he’s sensitive, kissing his neck, letting him feel good. Steve begins to protest, embarrassed at the way you’re moving, at how he’s powerless against you.

“S-slow—hold on—“

“Let me do it, Stevie.” He’s so hard it hurts. “I wanna learn everything you like.”

Jesus. Fucking. Christ. Steve holds himself to calm down, other hand steadying your teasing. Nothing’s happened yet, you just started back up again after a late breakfast, having slept soundly through the morning, and he might already blow his whole fucking load.

“Okay—just—will you give me a second–”

Using the position you’re already in, he pushes you up against the mattress and guides you back down, hitching your thighs around his hips, sinking a bit at a time until you’re landing on him with a gasp. He eases into you with what he hopes is restraint, letting you have it slow, feeling you shudder from inside your goddamn bones with every further inch until he takes it away and you shimmy down to the hilt.

Your eyes roll back. And you look perfect.

“Was it good?” He blurts, “With Eddie?”

He doesn’t know why it slips out; he never thinks about it, honest. It was a series of hook ups. A few times over the years—and he’s not jealous like that because you’re all adults, and it’s not like he’s a virgin or an ascetic, either. You freeze, but he really is an idiot because instead of apologizing or rectifying that outburst, he cuts you off.

“I can give it to you better.”

Because Steve wants to. He really does.

He presses onward before you can respond, taking hold of what little courage he has, making you whimper, feeling prouder as he goes. Another one and you’re meeting him with a roll of your own hips. Another one, harder now, and you’re shaking down below him, tipping back into the pillows, grinding recklessly with that exhilaration he adores.

“Baby, you feel amazing.” Tongue-tied like a schoolboy, he’s keening after your words. “Can I have you all the time?” And Jesus wept who knew you could talk so sweet and filthy.

“Yeah, sweetheart,” Steve promises, his jaw hanging open in awe, “I’m yours. You can have me as much as you want— anytime.”

You bite your lip, skin of it pulled taut and snapping back bruised, light-headed and reeling. Glistening across your collarbones with his spit, body trembling like a high note. He feels it— just a little more— god, you look incredible— he’s gotta hold out for this— and then—fuck. 

It’s wet and divine when you come. Slick and tight, dragging him under as you ride out your orgasm, pulling him in like he belongs in you forever.

And he knows. He knows, he knows, he knows.

Steve could die happy seeing your face like this every day.

Two weeks prior…

“Eddie…tell me the truth,” You ask slowly, folding clothes (well, that’s a generous term— it’s more haphazardly tossing and bundling laundry into your open suitcase). “It’s good, isn’t it? Shawty, tell me what that thang do!” 

You waggle your brows, make a V-shape with your fingers, and lewdly run your tongue up and down between them. Steve thinks he sees you looking at him, but he feels himself flushing at your comment and pretends like he’s enthralled with the most recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Half-keeping an eye on you to make sure you actually pack actual pajamas and pants for this trip. 

“Dude. Stop it.” Eddie groans, knowing you’re all too familiar with his endowments and prowess from previous experience.

Whomever currently was getting the Eddie Munson midnight special was having a helluva time. 

You lob a pair of leggings toward your suitcase, “Kobe!”

You miss.

Eddie cackles, “How’re you gonna disrespect a legend like that, and miss?!”

“Okay!” Steve yells, pushing you off the couch in the living room, “That’s enough of that. I’m going for a run.”

Landing on your shoulder with a grunt, you brush away the rough sting of the carpet and catch the last second of his shadow before he’s gone from the room.

“What?” You call, projecting your voice and hoping he hears, “What’d I do? Steve!”

The scrape of the chair legs signals Eddie standing up, too. A shake of his head and he crosses his arms over his chest.

“You know,” he starts, “For all your insight, you’re pretty dense.”

There’s nothing in your head but sawdust and thoughts about his… activities under the sheets his flavor of the month. You shake it out of your brain before it lingers too long. Eddie points sharply down the hall to where Steve’s shadow has slipped out of view and hearing-distance.  

“You know he likes you, right?”

Uh? Your brain is the mac loading wheel, just spinning. “Of course he does? We’re buddies?”

Eddie cuffs you in the back of the head, “Get it together. Like is putting it lightly, too. Love is closer to the truth.”  

“Now,” Eddie leans over you, menacing you with his height. “How about you go listen to the record he gave you and think about what you’ve done, hmm?”

Then, he saunters off, shaking his head all the while, leaving you to gape down the hall like a fish. Steve? In love? With you?  

Flashes explode in your brain like fireworks. His jacket over your shoulders—not the first time. Sitting underneath your legs— nearly tradition. Morning errand runs even though he hates them. The banter—him, scolding your motor-mouth, you— never stopping. Circles he rubs on your knees— the laughter—damn it, so much laughter.

Steve? In love? With you? It’s more likely than you think.

Back in your bedroom and chastened, you wait until the front door closes signaling Steve’s exit. Turning to the wall dedicated to your impassioned analytical skills, you eye the various colors of yarn showing the various connections that could be drawn from the song choice and order in which they were placed. 

Printed out pages of lyrics have been annotated to death, some phrases scrawled more largely than others for importance. You stare at the wall for the better part of an hour, long enough to come to the end of the playlist. Sufjan Stevens rhapsodizes on the mystery of love and fades into Matt Berninger singing how he needs his girl.

A gasp. A choke and a wail somewhere deep inside your chest as you slowly, methodically begin removing the pins and pages from your wall. Realization settling on you heavy with mood. 

Clearly, this was not some bush-league bullshit.  

Hesitant, but growing in the knowledge that Steve, your best friend whom you annoy to no end, is irrefutably and undeniably in love with you. You’d have seen it sooner if you weren’t such a dumbass, all the signs had been there just lying in wait. The front door opens once more, his voice calling out to Robin in the kitchen about dinner. 

“Steve.” You light out of your room, tearing down the hallway. “Stevie! Steve! I’m sorry! Steve oh my god! I’m a fuckup!”  

You trip on the corner of the floor runner, as he turns, slightly confused, one hand reaching out to catch you as you careen into his chest with a thunk.

You must look a wreck, hair in disarray and panting hard, him sweat-slick, bearing your weight as he sets you right on your feet.  

Steve raises an eyebrow, blinks at the way the front of your shirt slides from your shoulder and takes his ear buds out, looking at you like you’re a first-rate idiot.

And well ... he’s not wrong.

The flight to Vegas is painless, though you are put out at having to leave the love nest that bloomed like a night flower in the Californian desert. A lazy, slow start to the day. Sticky and sweet like biting into a ripe peach, juices flowing down against sun-warmed skin. 

His hand pulling at yours, guiding you through the crowds of the airport, looking back to you frequently, as if he can’t bring himself not to. One hour later and viva, Las Vegas!

As it turns out, it’s fairly easy to fake a Vegas elopement. Just a matter of subterfuge and a wedding chapel, which are a plenty in Clark County. Steve in a suit (“You weren’t even wearing a tie, Steven! Who gets married looking like that!?”), rotating the signet of his ring out of sight, the ‘H’ resiting against the underside of his ring finger so just the band was visible. 

You in a dress, something white and off the rack from Neiman’s, your ring, courtesy of Steve, moved from your right hand to your left. Sapphire earrings as your something blue, Manolo Blahnik pumps in your favorite color, a gift from Steve, as your something new.

A well-timed call to Jonathan, he was in town for a shoot and just so happened to have a few hours to kill. An appointment at the Graceland Wedding Chapel and 250 dollars later, you have yourself a believable elopement, no marriage certificate required. 

Even drove out to the Red Rock Mojave desert outside of town for a photoshoot courtesy of one Jonathan Byers, professional photographer. By the time you’d made it back to your room at the Wynn that night, he’d already done a rough edit of a few photos for you to post to the ‘gram. Piece of cake, really.

It was all well and good. Steve even let you tag him and posted his favorite images himself, miracle of miracles. The man does jack shit with social media, claims he only has the account for the groupchats and memes. Captioned it something like ‘married AF’ because he’s a dork; first photo in the carousel was a shot of your hands, showing off the new bling with the wedding chapel sign in the background.

You opted for the more truthful, ‘ew, boy. you’re, like, obsessed with me’ and selected a photo where your legs wrapped around Steve’s hips after he’d told you to ‘time to giddy-up, yeah?’ with a wink and caught you in his arms before kissing you stupid. You were quite pleased with yourself until the phones began to ring.

“Jus’ ignore it, honey.” His teeth pull against your bottom lip, bringing your attention back to him. You screw your eyes shut, hand falling to cup the nape of his neck as his lips continue their mapping of your skin. Purposefully, he plays with a lock of your hair, tucks it behind your ear, and lets his finger ghost over your neck. “Gonna kiss you now,” you murmurs, “Doin’ some of my best work here and you’re missing it.”

He pouts.

Your throat clenches, bobbing with a thick swallow and Steve thinks if this wasn’t so tender and sweet, he’d be latching onto that pulse instead. “Okay…” Your mouth parts expectantly, eyes fluttering closed, hand coming up to caress his jaw.

It’s sublime. It’s perfect. It’s the biggest relief he’s ever felt when you return his touch—parting your lips to receive the tip of his tongue against yours. Thirst. Desperation. Enthusiastic limbs scrambling to feel more of him. A bucking of your hips against his thigh and he’s soaring up into heaven with the sensation.

Except the damn phone won’t stop ringing. 

“Steve,” you pant, hand reaching up to fist his hair and pull him from your the sensitive spot he’s located behind your ear. As you tangle your fingers in his mane of hair, securing your grip with a tug, he breaks contact with your slick skin with a strangled moan.

Oh.

You file that particular reaction away for further investigation and direct his attention to the loudly ringing phone on the nightstand. He rolls off of you with an exasperated noise and answers the call in a sulk. “Hi, Ma.”

His expression changes so quickly you nearly have whiplash; lazy and pouty one moment to shocked silent in the next while his mother lectures him, a mile a minute. Eyes cutting to you, he grabs your phone from the same table and holds it in font of you to unlock it via Face ID. You roll your eyes and bat him away, taking a slug of water from the glass on your bedside table.

“Shit,” Steve mutters, putting himself on mute and his mom on speaker as he scrolls through your phone. “Holy fucking shit, nonono.”

You lean over and take a peek. He’s thumbing through Facebook, pupils blown wide in shock at the sheer number of notifications on his accidental post. Because yes, Steve accidentally cross-posted the photos from Instagram to Facebook as an update, like genius. 

“Are you fucking kidding me!?”

He drops your phone on the bed when it starts to ring, like it’s a venomous thing that could take him down in one strike. 

Sheepishly, he looks to you and mouths ‘I’m so sorry’ as he returns to his mother’s raging diatribe. 

After checking the caller ID, you answer, voice flat. “Hello.”

“You little scamp,” Eddie tuts, “Stole my idea of eloping in Vegas and everything, I hate you.”

In spite of yourself, you crack a smile. “It’s a prank, babe.” A sigh as you pull your hair up and off of your shoulders. “Not legally binding at all. Having Byers on deck really sold the idea though.”

“You are the absolute worst, Trouble.” You warm at his soft laughter, “What’d you do to get Steve to agree? Drop to you knees all nice and pretty?”

A swell of pride accompanies the rush of heat at the thought of your earlier rendezvous. “Y’know Eds, I did exactly that. How perceptive of you.”

He cackles. “It’s tried and true for a reason, babe.” Steve is nodding furiously at whatever his mother is yammering on about, bare back toward you as he sits on the edge of the bed. 

A push and a slide across the rumpled sheets and you’ve wrapped around him like a vine. His thumb rubs at your ankle, pulling your leg to envelop his hip. Opposite arm dangling across his chest as you press your face into his neck, revelling in his scent—cypress, vetiver, and something slight musky tinged with salt. All warm and pliable.

“Nance may have called in some reinforcements.” Eddie says carefully. “I told her to fuck off, but she’s beyond reason at this point.”

“Whaddya mean?”

He sighs, “Just be on the lookout for an angry lesbian, alright?”

You snort, drawing Steve’s attention. He twists in your hold, phone discarded on the table finally, fingers trailing tantalizingly up and down your sides. Pushes you back against the bed, chin resting on your sternum as you talk with Eddie, head tilted as he listens.

Begging off the phone call, you say your goodbyes. “Hey,” Eddie says before you go, voice soft and warm, “You happy babe? You sound it.”

“Yeah,” you turn your head and grin at the ridiculousness of your life. Steve follows your lips, his own blazing a trail across your chest and up to meet your shoulder. “I’m really happy, Eds.”

Steve plucks the phone from your hand, “Bye Munson!” He sings before ending the call and unceremoniously dropping your phone on the floor.

And Steve never thought a person was supposed to laugh so hard during sex, or maybe that’s just your own brand of love, but he doesn’t want to find out with anyone else.

It’s the fifth time, and Steve’s dick is about to fall off—how are you still doing this—just a few thrusts in when the banging on the door frightens the both of you into your clothes.

Robin swings it open and Steve is desperately tucking himself into his pants before—please, no.

“It smells like ass in here!” She hollers, “The hell have you two been—oh my god.”

“Shut up, Rob!” You respond from the corner of the room, head ripping through the neck hole of a shirt, legs wiggling into a pair shorts. Steve is still shirtless, hoping he might spontaneously combust.

“Oh my god,” Robin whispers again, “Oh… my god.” She sputters on the verge of either eruption or death.

“You freaky little—” she hisses, before screaming, “Oh fuck no! I’m here picking your asses up. Got on a flight at ass o'clock from Indy— you're butt-ass-naked in here—” She stands ram-rod straight, hands on her hips angrily. “I’m tellin’ on you.”

“Telling on?! What are you, five!? You’re so annoying, Rob!”

“Annoying? What’s annoying is—I’m exhausted! And well— you're exhausted too, huh?”

“I hate you.”

She snickers, high-fiving herself before crossing her arms, “Now get your freaky asses outside so I can go home and drink myself into forgetting I ever saw Harrington’s dick.”

You pat her on the shoulder, “It’s nice, huh?”

Robin dry-heaves, “Uh-uh. That’s enough. Go wash your damn hands.”

A few minutes later, Steve closes the door to the now-silent hotel room, damp with sweat and the lingering aroma of musk. Robin trots on ahead, leading the pair of you through the lobby and out into the dry desert heat.

His hand pulls at yours, reassuring and warm. A small smile blooms across your face and you allow yourself to revel in it for a moment: heading home with Steve, can't even bring yourself to be all that mad at Robin's antics.

Not when he turns back to check on you, all tan skin and that devastating smile. Tugs you closer as Robin flags down the Uber, lays his lips against yours, and kisses you with a sweetness only he could bring.

Oh yeah, you think tangling your free hand in his shirt. This'll do just fine.

[elliespeach]

fantasizing about protective festival!ellie

warnings: 18+ explicit sexual descriptions, drug use, alcohol use, very Very brief choking kink, implied homophobia, mild possession, pet names

an: an offering until i finish part 2 of you belong to me i thought of this at work and knew she would be a festival girlie okokenjoy

she def tried to convince u to let her buy an airtag and stick it in ur outfit just in case she lost you in the crowd “you could just call me els” “what if ur phone dies” she pouted

she wore a simple button up that was unbuttoned with a sports bra underneath, her abs showing which made ur toes curl and loose basketball shorts. meanwhile u had to spend hours trying to find what to wear, always earning a “everything looks so good on you baby” as ellie watched u change for the 8th time

“absolutely not” she protested one of the more scandalous outfits u tried on, typically she wouldn’t care and actually liked ur skin showing to be able to flaunt you around “you know how these people are there, i don’t need you being ogled all night”

no bc watching her dance at the actual festival was intoxicating, grinding up behind you going with the beat of the music, grabbing ur ass and feeling u up in a way that felt hungry

also note she had a blunt resting in her mouth while she danced on u AHH

im also picturing her in a backwards worn out ball cap do with that what u will,, ok carrying on

u were only crossed, as when u suggested trying something a bit harder ellie def had something to say "idk babe u dont even take well to being too high sometimes" "fine but were doing shots!"

so u both were wasted, she guided ur hips with her hands to spin you around to face her the strobe lights started going crazy for the drop of the song that was playing

ellie hit the blunt while u watched not even questioning it bc she was so fucking fine while doing

she inhaled slightly and leaned in, grabbed ur neck face and blew the smoke into your mouth for u after u exhaled she wrapped her free arm around ur waist pulling u closer in

this time she kissed u and kissed u hard, still grinding to the music while doing so ofc

her hand wandering around ur back down to ur ass and when the kiss ended u continued dancing and ellie took a quick glance around

she saw a guy poking at his friend then pointing to u and her and immediately protective mode was activated

"cmon, i gotta go to the bathroom" grabbing ur hand and not even giving u the chance to respond "ellieeeeeeeee"

u guys were towards the back because "i dont wanna lose u in the crowd plus i think i would suffocate"

"els we just went to the bathroom" "i saw some guys staring at us, i didn't like the looks of it" she was very occasionally glancing in the direction where u guys came from, obviously worried

"lets go finish this and then go back" she suggested and brought u to the back of one of the food stands,, holding ur hand the entire time of course kinda too tight like she was white knuckling that shit

u guys passed it back and forth a few times before the redness of your perfect eyes, being crossed, and full on craving u overwhelmed her

"els!" u giggled as she sucked on ur exposed neck, marking every single square inch she possibly could before moving to ur jaw

ellie being ellie she lightly bit ur earlobe sending shockwaves thru u n feeling the surge of confidence ((and bc shes a cocky shit)) she goes "let those try guys come near you, you're mine"

immediate butterflies. immediate pulsing in ur pussy like oh my GOD and being so horrendously down bad u say "i'm yours"

instinctively u stretched ur arms over her shoulders and as soon as u started to move ur hands thru her hair in pleasure she threw the remaining blunt to the ground and literally picked u up

like hoisted u up so that ur legs were around her waist, one of her hands placed itself on ur back the other firmly on ur ass

this was all mid kiss btw

she spun around and crashed ur back into the back of the food stand and bc shes so strong she could hold you there basically by holding herself so close to you

she reached a hand down feeling ur pussy thru the very light shorts u had on "no underwear, huh baby?" all u could do was shake ur head the feeling of her touching u was overwhelming to say the least "and already so wet, tsk tsk"

u blushed but thank god it was dark bc she wouldve teased u about it and u wanted so badly for her to just kiss u again u leaned in slightly as if asking permission

"and so needy" "please, els" "what was that?" she paused her fingers on ur core and u whined "words princess, i need words"

sigh, anyway

leaving the festival she knew u were drained and let u piggy back most of the way to the car, she drove back home letting u sleep peacefully in the passenger seat

when u guys got back home she was fully prepared to carry u in but u woke up

but u were way to tired to get ready for bed so she undressed u, showered u, and put u in one of her tee shirts and ultimately put u to bed only to be interrupted by her coming to cuddle only a short time later

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

[NSFW AU prompt] Bunny Prince Ouma and His Guard Saihara

Apollo: Thought of two more royal aus Either Prince Shuichi x Personal Assistant (or really any servant) Kokichi Or Bratty Prince Kokichi x Personal Guard fed up with his shit Shuichi

[I asked about the first one, but literally everyone else picked the second, and I am glad we went with it]

Apollo: I read a story for a different fandom ages ago where the guard got so fed up that in the middle of the night, they dragged the prince to the empty throne room and fucked him on his throne so whenever he had to sit in there, all he'd be able to think of is the time he got fucked by his secret boyfriend I think they were planning to marry once he became King or something

Bunny: see the thing is kokichi is not actually even close to a spoilt, utterly out-of-touch, silver spoon little princeling. but i am not thinking with my first head here okay put him in ruffles

Apollo: He's not out of touch but sometimes he acts like it and Shuichi has to put him back in his place because how the fuck are you meant to run a kingdom when you're acting like that?

Bunny: consider: he keeps running away to Shenanigan in the village near the castle and shuuichi has to chase him down i love when shuuichi grows enough of a spine to be someone's rock

Dra: Help he pretends to be a commoner,,

Bunny: he wears the silly vampire cloak all hooded and creeping thru the commoner alleyways

Apollo: He tries to act all innocent after running off so when they're alone in Kokichi's room, Shuichi spanks him as punishment before walking out to stand guard because he's not fucking Kokichi as part of the punishment

Hina: Is he out of touch or acting?

Bunny: see i think it would be interesting if he THOUGHT he wasn't out of touch he could also be adopted by the king and queen as a pr move, if you want to give him a more canon-adjacent backstory

Apollo: Yes. He's just some kid they adopted and he KNOWS it was nothing more than a PR stunt so screw it. He's gonna be a dick when possible then get dicked down by his sassy guard boyfriend

Bunny: adopt him as a pr move?? he'll be nice long enough to cement his place and then become a pr nightmare better get a personal guard to reign him in and keep him from shenaniganizing… sure that'll work……

Hina: What if they caught him stealing from the castle or SMTH? And they were just so generous and recognized a “soul in need” that they took him under their wing themselves

Bunny: i need shuuichi to say "your highness" in the most disrespectful way possible points if he's in front of the king and queen and saying it ostensibly respectfully but all kokichi can hear is the way he said it last night he knows he doesn't mean it squirming in his lil throne

Apollo: They ask if he's okay and he has to lie. Shuichi is just smirking because no one is looking at him anymore other than Kokichi. The only other people who know about them is DICE and the other staff. Kokichi is actively destroying any hope of his parents hooking him up with someone from another kingdom

Hina: Are they trying to marry him off

Bunny: how sex-positive is this kingdom? is kokichi's virginity cared about

Apollo: I mean a lot of kingdoms try to marry off their kids for stronger connections and shit so I think it'd be funny if Kokichi's ruining all of their attempts to he can stay with the hot guard I find both options hilarious. Either they want him 'pure' for when he eventually gets married or they don't care he's slept around as long as he behaves damn it!

Hina: Do they care about homosexual couples or nah?

Apollo: Nah they're chill with that if they weren't Kokichi would ruin them

Bunny: 'kokichi' and 'purity' in the same sentence are already so fucking funny but yeah i can go for some good Defilement™ just be SUBTLE about being a whore jesus christ STOP EYEING UP THAT DUKE YOU'RE EMBARRASSING US

Apollo: "Now honey we know you're…Exploring yourself but please try to behave." "Uh huh sure…Anyway, you reckon he'd be down to fuck?" "Kokichi!" "What? I'm just asking!"

Dra: Are we allowed to angst in here/hj

Bunny: chanting ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, ASS-

Dra: I can't believe I'm bringing Islam here again but Fun fact when they tried to kill the prophet someone else slept in his bed and they almost cut his head off Saioucoded methinks

Bunny: maybe someone's a royal purist and mad he got adopted?

Apollo: Maki is the assassin which hurts because both Kokichi and Shuichi knew her growing up. Kokichi from the orphanage and Shuichi via Kaito. So now Shuichi is forced to fight one of his friends

Bunny: why did shuuichi get hired. how did he gain a reputation as a brat tamer

Hina: Remember how he wrestled an alligator?

Apollo: NEW IDEA: Kokichi's parents are Nagito and Hajime who are just pretending they don't know that their son is a fucking whore for his guard. They're supportive but are still trying to figure out a way to bring it up.

Bunny: awww but i wanted them to suck nagito and hajime would be actually decent parents how am i meant to cheer for their banishment like this the idea of them just. trying to figure out how to breach the subject is SO funny though

Hina: You see. I love the idea of Hajime fucking hating Shuichi in this context, so.

Apollo: Hajime being the dad to rant about Shuichi not getting permission to date let alone have sex with their son while Nagito is just sitting there like Isn't young love adorable?

Mauri: something something kokichi watching shuichi train and getting horny bc of how easily he could throw him across the room (but wouldn’t bc shuichi is a sweetheart) Apollo: YES! Kokichi keeps sneaking away from his lessons because god DAMN his boyfriend is hot and can do whatever the fuck he wants to him

Mauri: “your parents will have my head if anything happens to you, especially with your own guard-“ “shuichi beloved shut up and let me give YOU head”

Dra: How petty do we want Shu in this

Bunny: extremely wait, toward who?

Apollo: OKAY BUT NAGITO IS THE ROYAL BORN WHO DATED THE 'COMMONER' WHICH PISSED OFF HIS PARENTS AND THEY KEEP TRYING TO PRESSURE THE PAIR TO AT LEAST MARRY KOKICHI OFF TO SOMEONE OF 'DECENT' BLOOD AND THEY KEEP GOING TO HIM WITH PHOTOS OF PRINCESSES AND (EVENTUALLY) PRINCES BUT KOKICHI IS TURNING THEM ALL DOWN BECAUSE FUCK HIS HOMOPHOBIC CLASSEST GRANDPARENTS!

Mauri: ,,,can fantasy elements be introduced bc i want kokichi helping tenko woo the royal mage himiko [I cut out a portion when an arranged marriage was suggested between him and Tenko]

Dra: Can we creature the characters [pleading face emoji] just slightly Maybe not straight up critters but some small traits sjfjd

Apollo: Himiko is Kokichi's magic teacher and he spends the whole time trying to hook her up with Tenko

Bunny: THAT DOESN;T SPECIFY WHETHER I CAN PULL OUT THE BUNKICHI PARTY POPPER YET DRA /SILLY his ears flattened under the cloak hood,, shuuichi yanks it off and they just ! straight up

[ideas for Shuichi] Sini: Half elf? Dra: Pointy ears,,,, Sini: To match bf in a way Apollo: Kokichi keeps poking his ears so Shuichi just gently tugs on his Lulu: Shu high elf. Intense parental pressure to be confident and proper. <- doesn’t know what the conversation is about Dra: That or he should get a tail that can also drag Kokichi when wrapped around him/hj

Bunny: aww shuuichi can't drag kokichi around by his ear like this huh…sacrifices must be made for bnuy i suppose did we ever decide what DICE are to him?

Apollo: Ooooo what if Nagito brought all of them back with him after learning they knew Kokichi before he was adopted and brings them all to Hajime like Babe can we keep them? Look at them! They're adorable and Kichi's friends! [pleading face emoji]

Bunny: (hajime vc) YOU ALREADY GAVE ALL OUR ROOMS TO THOSE LITTLE CANDY-COLORED HEATHENS JUST BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A CASTLE DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE INFINITE ORPHAN SPACE

Sini:Nagito stop adopting strays challenge

Apollo: Hajime loves his stupid husband but damn does he wish he had more impulse control

Bunny: the castle was so cold and quiet when he was young. never again it's full of laughing children now. if they steal all his food then that price must be paid sndsbjfgsf the kitchens are TERRORIZED they could just ask but they like theft. it's funny

Apollo: Kokichi hugs his parents and mumbles a thank you before running off to play with his friends (when they're not working at least the ones old enough. The only catch was they needed to work which none of them minded because it's easy and fun work)

Hina: Nagito’s parents like. “Y’all need an heir” and Nagito is like, “I’ve got twenty.”

Bunny: "they'll just bite each other for the crown. it's fine" "togami's parents did that i'm pretty sure" "they'll prove the strength of their hope" ok so that's the Lore established. what's the third act conflict and why is it grandpa and grandma hiring an assassin

Apollo: Can't deal with all the poors 'dirting' the castle and it started with the purple brat. If it weren't for him, they might have been able to convince Nagito to dump Hajime and find someone else (it wouldn't have worked) so now they want the twink gone

Bunny: psssst shuuichi i found a way for you to endear urself to the parents you may or may not have to get stabbed

Apollo: Want to know how to get the Kings to approve of you constantly fucking the Prince? Just get stabbed!

Bunny: okay but for real kokichi not moving an inch from his bedside,,,

Apollo: He starts arguing with whoever tries to get him leave and says they'll have to drag him kicking and screaming from the damn room if they want him out

Bunny: shuuichi's gonna drag him kicking and screaming when he wakes up cracks an eye open like hm i sense poor self care kokichi's fucked in more ways than one! he ties kokichi down and it's NOT EVEN SEXY. the BETRAYAL it's the best nap he's had in years though

Mauri: consider: shuichi gets stabbed and its the first time he's seen kokichi genuinely cry everyones worrying over kokichi bc assassination attempt and hes just screaming at everyone to help shuichi, dammit

Apollo: Nagito tries to pick him up to take him to safety but Kokichi is struggling and screaming that Shuichi needs help. Shuichi's the one in danger not him

Bunny: shuuichi would be [uno reverse emoji] were he not mostly unconscious at this point kokichi feels Cripplingly guilty for every time he's ever bothered shuuichi. if he weren't such a brat shuuichi wouldn't even have to be here

Mauri: hajime sends a reluctant kokichi out to talk w shuichi alone and shuichi is Panickign n then hajime gives him the most awkward blessing to court his son in history

Beez: kokichi not leaving shuichis side until he recovers. . .. . . augh

Bunny: bunny ears drooped all the way down :(((

Mauri: someone tries to get kokichi to leave and he does the thump

Bunny: you can't see his face bc it's buried in shuuichi's torso but if you even suggest leaving you hear a muffled thump

Apollo: He starts crying because he wants to hug Shuichi but he doesn't know how to without hurting him and what's worse is that Shuichi got hurt because of him

Mauri: the first thing shuichi does when he wakes up and is lucid is ask if kokichi is unhurt and kokichi just starts Sobbing

Bunny: SADDEST BNUY OF ALL TIME shuuichi gently scooting over so kokichi can wiggle into the hospital bed

Mauri: shuichi uses all his strength to provide ear scritches so kokichi will forgive him (kokichi forgave him a while ago hes just sad and needs physical comfort)

Bunny: back on the thumping. mikan is flashing back to every time she's heard a distant DON'T YOU THUMP AT ME from down the hall and Understanding YES!!! pet the boy tender kissies except shuuichi tastes SO FUCKING BAD from not brushing his teeth for several days oops

Mauri: baby bunkichi where hajime tries to give him carrots and nagito just does the most offended horrified gasp bc THOSE ARENT GOOD FOR THE BABY

Bunny: baby bunkichi seeing some bright colorful candy, eating it immediately, and getting sick bc it turned out to have gelatin in it

Hina: How did Kokichi become bunny

Bunny: beastfolk just Exist in this world and he's adopted remember

Apollo: Hajime being clueless is so hilarious. He wasn't prepared for kids and now he has a hybrid for one. He's so confused but he's trying

Bunny: nagito bans all non-vegetarian candy from the castle FOREVER tiny kokichi wailing like he's DYING from a tummyache nagito is this close to making gelatin ILLEGAL FOREVER it's less that he has an allergy and more than he literally can't digest it bc. yknow. herbivore

Mauri: derailing back to horny bc i just think tail scritches during sex

Bunny: kokichi doing these jerky excited little bunny thrusts that are not satisfying at All. shuuichi thinks he's adorable but he does grab his hips and make him slow down still

Beez: will never be over the fact that bunny tails r lengthy shuichi gives it a lil tug n it just stretches out n he goes [eyes but fast emoji]

Apollo: Okay but I adore when Shuichi has to slow Kokichi down and remind him that they have all the time in the world so there's no need to rush through anything

Mauri: kokichi bottoming and he gets too excited and starts thumping except hes basically just kicking shuichis back really hard

Bunny: counterpoint: shuuichi forcing him to go slow and steady and getting little angry thumps if he's edging his prince in the name of royal virtues like restraint and patience that's his business

Apollo: Hajime tells Kokichi he has to learn patience and Shuichi's like Bet

Bunny: the funniest part is that it works shuuichi gives him the Look and he gets so polite and patient all of a sudden

Apollo: Hajime just dies inside when he realises the guard he hired to protect Kokichi, basically trained him to be kind and obedient and there's only one way that could have happened

Bunny: shuuichi walks by with kokichi slung over his shoulder and hajime is just what have i done

Apollo: Nagito is just trying not to laugh because now that Hajime has given Shuichi the go ahead to court their son, everything is about to get worse

Bunny: a couple nights after shuuichi is hired as a guard, kokichi gives him the slip and runs down into the city. he's far from the first guard hajime has hired to keep him under control; he's confident shuuichi will either quit or be fired like all the rest. shuuichi tracks him down with ease, sneaks up behind him, and yanks his hood off, bc i still think his ears doing the ! is adorable. kokichi nervous-laughs - none of the guards have actually caught him before - and tries to charm his way out of it. shuuichi tells him firmly that he's going home, NOW. (kokichi discovers he may have a bit of a thing for authority). kokichi runs for it, and shuuichi gives chase. they're evenly matched at least in brains, and the race goes on for quite a while. (kokichi discovers he may have a bit of a thing for predator/prey). shuuichi slings him over his shoulder (kokichi discovers he may have a bit of a thing for strength) and carries him back to his rooms. (kokichi discovers he needs to lay the fuck down). (shuuichi discovers that Brat Prince Cute Oh Fuck) he is laying flat on his back on his big round prince bed trying to breathe normally

Hina: Is it just bunny ears and a tail he’s got or anything else?

Bunny: just ears and a tail, physically well that's not quite true i suppose a herbivorous digestive system counts as does a mildly rabbity brain/instincts but he hasn't got any other externally physical traits

Mauri: twitchy nose but that can be a regular human thing tbh

Apollo: He's just a flustered mess because holy shit not only did this guard catch him, he's hot as fuck and now Kokichi knows a lot more about himself than he thought he ever would Wait Don't rabbits go into heat or something?

Mauri: quietly holds up breeding kink

Me: yeag, finally something catering to me

Apollo: Hajime awkwardly warns Shuichi that during his heat, there's a chance Kokichi will try to run again but this time to find a partner…He's unaware that the two are already are fucking. Nagito already knows that the two got together. He hasn't told anyone. He just picked up on the looks so he tells his husband that he won't have to worry about him finding a stranger to fuck Shuichi didn't know he had a thing for breeding until a horny ass Kokichi begged him to

Mauri: would condoms have been invented in this time period

Me: irrelevant <3 cream pie time

Mauri: bc i can see nagito lecturing kokichi and shuichi on safe sex bc he wants to be a good responsible parent shuichi is Slowly Dying

Apollo: Nagito is explaining safe sex while Shuichi is sitting there pretending he didn't fuck his son that morning Kokichi, mid heat: Breed me damn it Shuichi: Oh fuck why am I so into that?

Bunny: shuuichi doesn't even have a dick (and wouldn't be able to impregnate kokichi if he did) but kokichi is. a lil stupid rn he's heatdrunk no one tell him that's a strap

Me: fuck it, this is a fantasy au with creatures, there are potions for it (probably ones that would have to be regularly consumed like how taking hormones works, but for Everything and Instant bc it's Magic)

Beez: himiko casts whatever the opposite of penis explosion is on him

Apollo: Himiko finding out Shuichi is trans: Skidaddle skidoodle your pussy is now a noodle!

Me: or that

Bunny: damn i LIKED the pussy /lh she magics his strap into connecting with his nerves, best of both worlds Me: we've all thought of detachable boobs before, now get ready for the sequel: detachable schlong, you know you want it, call now for a discount-

Apollo: Shuichi: Awkwardly trying to explain what happened Kokichi: So you have both now? Cool! Hajime: I saw Saihara down herre ealier…Everything okay? Himiko: Yeah he just wanted a spell to help with his junk when he fucks Kokichi Hajime: WHAT? Himiko: I mean he wanted a cleaning spell for when Kokichi drops something and fucks it up!!! Nagito just smiles because so helpful! while Hajime is trying not to cry because he did NOT need to hear that

Bunny: hajime is also trans nagito is having Scheming Thoughts

Apollo: Okay but Kokichi knows he can talk to Nagito about anything so when he's asked if the spell works, he says yes (naturally he doesn't go into detail about it) so Nagito now knows what he's getting Hajime for his birthday! Okay but Nagito's parents show up and at some point see Kokichi kissing Shuichi on the cheek (who lightly hit his ass for it) and rush of to report it to their son and Hajime just stares at them blankly and says Be glad that's all you saw. I walked in on them making out yesterday. He just doesn't care anymore As long as they don't fuck where he can see/hear it, he'll turn a blind eye

Kai: dexterous tails are underutilized in saiouma porn

Apollo: Kokichi would enjoy that a lot tbh

Me: Would he be demon-ish and leathery or furry like Kokichi? But tbh I just jump to tentacles when it comes to extra dexterous limbs Tail is good but they're more bunny prince and his bodyguard switch

Bunny: OKAY IM LISTENING

Me: https://www.tumblr.com/vespertin-y/730446928861626368?source=share you put the post on my dash

Bunny: I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT THEM

Me: and you're going to be held responisble we have to cook now

Bunny: shuuichi deserves to be taken care of too,,,, a relaxation day BY ROYAL DECREE [knife emoji]

Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B5NkVqfIVo getting in the top Ouma mindset [LIZ - When I Rule the World] but also the post got me by thinking about devotion so I am not sure what direction to take it like I said, I love service-y, worship level devotion vibes, but in a service top Shu & demanding pillow princess Ko but with the whole vibe of this, I want to up this to 11, have a staright up dominant Kokichi? with the twist that I added the song for, it's a switch making a threat out of explaining what they'll do when they will "rule the world" (aka dominate)

Bunny: EITHER IS SO GOOD thinking about the first time shuuichi is healed enough for sex n kokichi taking care of him,,

Me: omg, like after the assassination attempt right? they go gentle for once nice and slow

Bunny: shuuichi goes to dominate him like usual and kokichi is just NO >:( LAY DOWN UR GETTING A MASSAGE YESSS…scar worship <333

Me: Kokichi can deal with a role reversal and pamper him a little, he earned it

Bunny: both of them did it just slowly devolves into lazy cuddlefucking,,

Me: Kokichi discovers that he actually enjoys being on the other side of servicing quite a lot, providing and caring tickles the same itch in his brain as the breeding kink bossy but in a "It's my turn to take care of you"

Bunny: it starts as just repayment but then he realizes he Likes it and it's nice to see shuuichi fall apart for once. he didn't realize he'd get so flustered sndsdsjbf local stoic guard melts into a puddle of goo over neck kisses

Me: (cw corny)"It's a ruler's responsibility to care for his people. Now let me give you your reward for serving the country" you know what would make this better? pregnancy (just kidding.. unless?)

Hina: How would you add that

Me: via cream pie?

Bunny: oh they're gonna be in so much trouble

Dra: Didn't they say Shu was afab dkfjd

Me: yeah, when it's Kokichi bottoming breeding is just a kink, when Shuichi is bottoming it's an option

Bunny: they wouldn't do it on PURPOSE at this point imo but. birth control fails sometimes! hinata trying to breach why kokichi's fave guard looks suspiciously round

Me: they keep it a secret?! not again what, is he matching with a horse? [inside joke, I might explain one day] just get quickly married so the child isn't born a bastard smh

Bunny: they're not SUPPOSED to get married class differences remember they'd have to fight for it

Me: love wins, the assassination was foiled, they can do what they want

Bunny: OHHHH yeah i forgot who hired the assassin oops SHOTGUN WEDDING TIME I GUESS shuuichi getting his suit tailored in an extremely suspicious way

Me: one day tho, one day the kid is going to do the math

Bunny: sorry ur parents are whores allister. it happens

Me: he's like: you said you wanted me [face holding back tears emoji] and one of them replies: planned and wanted is not the same

Bunny: does shuuichi stay as his guard after marriage?? he probably can't huh the other guards call him when they need someone to actually go get kokichi sndhbkshfg hello mr your majesty sir can you go get your husband he's bothering the kitchen again

Dra: Help they just mix words in there

Bunny: they're new okay theyre a lil nervous the other guards may be hazing them a little bit. it's fine

Me: Thinking of komahina reactions too They announce the engagement And Nagito is like "why so sudden?" Knowingly They say it's because of the assassination, their enemies are gone, something about realizing they could lose each other

Bunny: knowingly [sob emoji] i mean, that's not a lie

Dra: Yknow how the "I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing"

Bunny: butcha didn't BD and hinata just sighs

Dra: He did not and now they have a heir djfjd

Apollo: Kokichi 100% skips out on his duties to watch Shu train and then they make out and/or fuck in a hidden corner because Kokichi gets so turned on

Bunny: little bunny face peeking up over the training ground barriers [sob emoji] i need him to have a bunny nose. for my own mental health

Apollo: People quickly figure out he's there but never say anything because well he is the prince. Plus it makes Shu work harder to impress him

Bunny: kokichi, after seeing shuuichi decapitate a training dummy: CAN YOU DO THAT TO ME shuuichi's showing off now

Apollo: Kokichi's internally whispering Don't jerk off don't jerk off because he's gotten too horny

Bunny: just absolutely Dying seeing shuuichi's back muscles flex NSJDNSJFH

Apollo: It's a pain to his poor teachers because he skips out on his lessons to watch Shuichi then get fucked. They end up rescheduling to make sure he has the time free

Bunny: they've gotta reschedule around him being able to walk shuuichi's training opponent seeing bunny ears out of the corner of their eye and immediately knowing they're gonna Die

Apollo: They see him limping and sigh

Bunny: he fake cries until shuuichi agrees to carry him

Apollo: The idea of moving Kokichi's lessons to his room is quickly shut down because no one wants to go in there knowing the prince is either getting railed or is railing his boyfriend practically every night

Bunny: bold of them to think they can find a room where they haven;t fucked

Apollo: Exactly. They just like to pretend there's untouched areas Love how Kokichi's og disappearances were to escape his guard to go fuck around in town but now his disappearances are so he can fuck his guard

Bunny: he still disappears into town but it's partially so his guard will find him and fuck him

Apollo: "You can just ask" "I'm a bunny. I like the chase." "No you're just a whore." "Only for you babe."

Apollo: Once again thinking of Prince Kokichi and Guard Shuichi.

Imagine getting assigned to the Prince (nerve wracking enough) who's known to run away and piss off all his guards until they quit or do something that ends up getting them fired (or Kokichi might actually lies).

You're nervous, you chase him down when he escapes and all of a sudden, he starts trying to seduce you.

Is this a test? Is he trying to get you fired?

What are you meant to do? You accidently flirt back once and you get pulled aside by one of the Kings.

You think you're about to be fired. You failed somehow and now you're gonna be fired…But the King just says you're a good fit for his son and sends you on your way.

Like Kokichi is known to fuck with people and give them little 'tests' and has also flirted with his guards in the past so poor Shuichi is just screaming inside because he doesn't want to lose his job but Kokichi just wants to kiss him and maybe get fucked

Dra: Is that one of the reasons Shu was kinda cold/stoic at first djfjd

Apollo: Yeah. It's an important job to watch the Prince and others keep failing but god damn Kokichi is cute and flirting with him??? What's he meant to do?

He accidently calls him cute once and freaks out because Ko just bluescreens Kokichi meanwhile is annoyed because the hell is he meant to do? Just kiss him? Without consent? He tries to get it through Shu's thick skull by like feeling his arms and stuff and telling him how strong he is It's not working

He trips like a dumbass or something and Shuichi asks if he's okay only to get a I'd feel better with a kiss from you handsome and just doesn't know how to react He's trying his best and it's just not working

springbug: stoic/quiet guy getting flustered by little shit sunshine is my favorite trope and reading this au makes my heart happy

Me: I was thinking about them too, but the time period around when Allister is born, people in the castle start thinking it was a good thing, Kokichi seems to have mellowed out, became responsible and careful, but after a few months the fresh-baby phase that lowers horny hormones ends and the newfound mutuality of protectiveness saiou have now turns from a blessing to a boost effect on the nightmare that they returned to being they thought Kokichi was bad when all he thought about was getting fucked

he just enters a phase when he's so over-protective it's downright possessive, Shuichi has to make him calm down, tone it down, it was nice getting a little spoilt, but he can take care of himself he just got carried away with the whole thing, but Shuichi put his foot down and put Kokichi back in his place

it was escalating for a while tho, he was letting him at first, thinking that Kokichi can just get that anxious energy out, but he was only getting more intense about it, nearly losing Shuichi, and then the pregnancy, and then planning a wedding, and then birth (he was holding Shuichi's hand through it, and it's a shock he hasn't fainted, he was horrified), and it sinking in that they're parents, taking more responsibility, he just sinks really deep into the Protecting & Caring mindset, it's hard for him to let Shuichi do something on his own without hovering

and it gets bad enough for Shuichi to stop it at that point, because sex is a huge outlet for this & Kokichi latched onto that right away, but in their sex life this far Shuichi has been mostly dominant so he gets tired of this pretty quickly he doesn't mind Kokichi being clingy but being treated like glass in bed is where he draws the line

Ves: kokichi being anxiously overprotective is Good Stuff this saiou r just constantly bullying the other into selfcare huh kokichi bullied Too Hard and had to be bullied himself kokichi almost fainting during the birth [sob emoji] he was more scared than shuuichi fr

[days later] Me: art corner reminded me of the bunny prince au because Shuichi's easy temporary transitions with potions, and Kokichi's breeding kink bc he's a hybrid, and the genuine confusion just got me like Shuichi believed they could both be pregnant, and you know what? I want to believe too [it was a joke comic, Kokichi tried to tell Shuichi he's pregnant, and Shuichi went "I'm pregnant?"] tired: getting pregnant at the same time as your friend so the kids will become friends too wired: getting pregnant at the same time as your husband so you're experiencing everything together something something equal distribution of responsibilities in a relationship this is after Allister and their shotgun wedding and the whole mess is sorted out, they healed from the assassination attempt Shallot and Scallion time they talked about wanting a second kid & Kokichi maybe half-joked about it being his turn (he is into the idea. but doing it for real is… intimidating), so they have more in-depth conversation about pregnancy & when Shuichi talks about it, he doesn't omit how overbearing Kokichi became (he needs to keep on reminding him, it won't happen again) and basically after going over how different their experience & perspective on that time is brings them to the conclusion that it'd be best for them to experience it together this time, instead of just switching roles

Bunny: god help the castle servants there's Two Of Them now

Me: most of them are veterans atp, but imagine being new and not expecting anything like this on your new job cleaning the castle they're def more careful about privacy than when they were younger tho, cause Allister is running around

Bunny: how old is allister?

Me: a toddler ig? circa 3-4?

Bunny: and is it old enough to understand his dads' feet are too swollen to play with him - OH NO ye that's gonna result in some growing pains poor kiddo

Me: I just had him in mind little enough not to be too used to being a single child, just big enough to be running and not crawling so older than that is a no, bc 6yo is a mental only child apparently, and I want to avoid giving kid the angst about it as widely as possible

Bunny: i was two when my first brother was born and i asked my parents to send him back but allister's sweet, i think he'd get over the jealousy bump fast enough he's the type of kid to spend a really long time peering over the edge of the crib i think hes curious

Me: yeah, he's just ["many thought, head full" creature reaction image] his dads both think "he has it after me" he's looking with those big eyes it's a family trait (it's autism)

Bunny: they show him how to hold a bottle and he feels like it's Magic

Me: wait I just had the best idea I had in weeks the babies are going to inherit some of Kokichi's bunny traits

Bunny: INCREDIBLE BEAUTIFUL POWERFUL SHOWSTOPPING AMAZING- TINY ITTY BITTY BUNNY BABIES. IM GONNA EXPLODE AND DIE they're gonna be fucking terrors they can get away with anything-

Dra: Poor palace workers,, Saiou's pda was already horrible for them and now there are more of them

Bunny: god bless the kitchen workers

Dra: Are the kids picky [sob emoji]

Bunny: i imagine they're obligate vegetarians like their dad, so kinda - but i meant they're gonna be raiding the kitchen constantly do yall remember the triplets from brave

Beez: instead of bears theyre bnnuys

Dra: They get byunnier when given greens/silly

Apollo: Thinking again of Kings Hajime and Nagito being disappointed because instead of focusing on his lessons, their stupid bunny son is too busy fucking his personal guard.

Shuichi just feels awkward because yeah they're dating and all but please babe I think your dad is ready to explode because you skipped a math exam to suck my dick

Kokichi like always, does not care

springbug: nagito just sighs and tells them to be safe meanwhile hajime is staring off into space, questioning his entire existence

Apollo: He adopted this kid, hired his gremlin friends, finally found a guard said adopted brat hasn't scared off and that's because he wants to get into his pants and actually managed to succeed in that goal I mean…He is a rabbit hybrid though so they can't really blame him for wanting to fuck his guard a lot…That's the only reason. It's pure instincts. Totally nothing else

Bunny: when they realize shuuichi is the in, kokichi is DOOMED they just have to mention the exam being important and shuuichi will give kokichi the Eyes hes the chink in the armor that is kokichi being a shithead Apollo: Basically he's the ticket to get Kokichi to actually do shit because of how whipped the prince is His dads? Kokichi whines and complains, dragging his feet to do the task Shuichi? Well, he might whine and stuff but with a look (and possibly like a finger snap or something) he's off to do it

Bunny: shuuichi holds both carrot and stick tremble before his power Flaire: Oh Shuichi has a 'carrot' and 'stick' alright Bunny: kokichi does enjoy the rewards of getting good scores i mean he is trans here so he probably does have multiple dicks laying around, actually… kokichi tries to name them shuuichi wants to die Flaire: Kokichi does name them The only question is, is one colored like a carrot and is it Kokichi's favorite? Bunny: YES he pretends to be offended at first won't use it he is genuinely a little mad when it turns out to be Very Good Flaire: He gets back at Shuichi by incredibly Playing It Up once he gets over it and making Shuichi the embarrassed and cringing one Bunny: the dirty talk is actually fucking insufferable shuuichi wants to throw the thing out a window after a while Flaire: …but it is a little bit hot And Kokichi's clearly having a great time So Shuichi can… tolerate it

Me: anyway, the side of Kokichi being distracted by Shuichi was covered before, yeah, he ogles him training, whatever but what about the side of Kokichi being a brat testing Shuichi's limits in the early days, he's figuring out what can he still get away with and how exactly he can get away with it, now that he knows Shuichi can chase him down He Is Going To Find Those Buttons And He Will Push Them Can he distract Shuichi by acting sexy? Can he bribe him? Can he get the punishment that's actually a treat to him if he plays his cards right? Apollo: He messes with Shuichi's room hoping to get punished for not only breaking in but for messing with his stuff springbug: he can and he will Me: I think it takes at most a few weeks for Shuichi to figure out the punishment thing and start punishing him by blueballing him instead, telling him that he has to earn a reward, but he remains the master of being distracting as for bribery… Sometimes Shuichi is willing to be bribed, it doesn't hurt, he can entertain him, but other times it only gets him in more trouble, because if it's serious Shuichi is going to be pissed off

can't solve all his problems by being submissive and breedable, sometimes has to do his job [pensive emoji]

Also. The very beginning. When Kokichi was teasing and hinting. Back when Shuichi was nervous about the job. Everything to me. Yeah, he can chase him down and put him in his place, but why can't he get in the place where he should be, between Kokichi's legs? Why so shy, mr. bodyguard? I just think. The thing where he points a finger at Shuichi's chest and runs it in a little pattern while flirting, is that anything? Bunny: it is not anything it is Everything Me: Lots of cringe attention grabs like bending over & various stretching while Shuichi is looking And you know Ouma's flirting is corny af Flaire: It sure is, Source: I can write it Me: full of puns, he's making insinuations about how Shuichi should be under him because of status Flaire: Oh god Shuichi thinks Kokichi is just insulting him at first doesn't he Me: sure, why not Flaire: Kokichi says one(1) thing about Shuichi being beneath him and Shuichi immediately internalizes it as proof Me: but can't have this Saihara be too dense, he's already been catching on the other hints Kokichi's been giving, but the bad flirting throws him off for a bit, because it slots into reaffirming the worries he had, seeing it as the reason why he shouldn't pursue anything with Kokichi so Kokichi shot himself in the knee with this but it's okay, Nagito's "accidental" meddling will fix it, it's just a small comment from him, but being told he's good for Kokichi means a lot to shu he totally thought they were already together, he didn't mean to meddle, he would never Bunny: of course not!! Apollo: He would never meddle in the love life of the weird gremlin he's grown attached to!

[cherry1sblog]

{my collage roommate pt3}

!!YJW!!

Summary:u entered collage everything was going amazing u had your bs with u but there was one problem ur collage roommate... (also there is a plot twist about heeseung and jungwon there not as close as u think)

Warnings: cussing bad grammar 💀 smut‼️‼️‼️‼️

Don’t read if u don’t like smuts 💀 and yuh I think that’s it

Recap:

“What are you doing “

“Dw about it you couldn’t give a fuck less right”

Jungwon held u back locked the door and pinned you to the wall

“What makes u think your going over there princess “

U just looked at him in shock mouth opening to say saying yet nothing came out u got shivers down your spine when u felt his hands go down more to your waist

“What’s wrong your not as potty anymore”

He looked at you and then got close to your ear you could hear him breath against you you felt him nibble on your ear a little before he faced you again

“You should sleep it’s getting late princess “

He just left you there stunned completely stunned and you did what he told you but you just couldn’t sleep not after that so did u get any sleep like how he told you no not at all not one but if sleep

//TIME SKIP TO 2 WEEKS LATER \\

After that party and your interaction with heeseung and jungwon it was awkward kinda but with jungwon he was more flirty now and so when another party came up you knew you had to find the sexy ist dress ever

{at the party}

Jungwon had been eyeing you up and down all night while on the other hand heeseung had been avoiding you all night u were a bit upset at the fact u and heeseung couldn’t be normal anymore so u trired to go up to him that’s until someone tapped u and u saw three girls staring one wearing they exact same black short bidazeld dress

“Hey u must be y/n right “u don’t recognize her at all so u just look up and down and nod “that’s wonderful to know your the ugly-”and right then and there she takes her cup and pores it all over you and now everyone is looking “bitch Jungwons been sleeping with””WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM “u scream seeing jungwon rush thru the crowed looking at u with eyes of sadness and worry but turned to Yuji and got pissed off

“Idk WTF is your problem but even if I am fucking jungwon so what “ everyone’s gasps going around now phones out recording Jungwons just smirking but you find heeseung looking unamused and leaving “ha I knew you were a slut” then jungwon starts to step up to help you “yk what Yuji I think your just posted at the fact jungwon caught you sleeping with his best friend and now he’s fucking me someone’s who’s not actually a fucking whore bag “ she picks her arm up to slap you jungwon stoping her and throwing her hand away while making her stumble a back “ofc the hero comes in to save the day but not what’s in his pants right cause he can never keep it up right “ he gets visibly angry pushing her back “ you know what Yuji say stupid shit like but just cause you didn’t want people to know your a cheating whore who got stds and just likes to use guys for a quick fuck I mean cmon now we both know I’m the best dick you’ve ever had and the girls I did sleep with they all know I left them fucked dumb after “

She looked completely stunned everyone whispering calling her gross a whore a liar a skank a thot a slut but as for jungwon he grabed you and drove you guys both home the entire way you guys said nothing but when u guys did get home he told you to shower and then we could watch a movie as he grabed your alcohol covered hair and kissed your forehead softly

//AFTER //

after your shower so you stepped out but without thinking you got dressed up wearing a see thru tank top and botty shorts you went out to the living room seeing jungwon he was focused on the tv then tired his head slowly “hey y/-“ his eyes were wide looking at you skating every pice of you immediately getting a hard on and it didnt help the fact the your nipples were also hard cause you it was cold “u-um w-w-what movie do you want to watch” he said awkwardly smiling “

After awhile you ended up choosing a horro movie and everyone u would jump letting jungwon see your boobs bounce and close together was not making it easy at all but he finally had had enough so he paused the tv looking at you “what the fuck won why’d you pau-“ he grabbed your hair in a bunch pulling it a little but not to much where it would hurt “you think I wouldn’t notice you wearing something so slutty huh would you u probably wanted me to look and you and you boobs right you slut “he said and started to lower the strap on you tank top letting go of your hair”ju-jungwon idk what your talking ab-“he stuffed your hole boob in his mouth sucking and nibbleing hitting and starting to leave hickys.”tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop tell me you don’t want me to fuck you sensless and fill your little pussy huh”you didn’t say anything but squirming and moaning under his touch “that’s what I thought now why don’t we see your pretty little cunt “he took off your shorts and liked a thin strip on your underwear making you moan and grab his hair “Wonnie please””please what baby mm I barley did anything yet” you didn’t say anything just wined “I need to know what you want baby or I can’t give it to you okay” you just stared at him but gave in cause how could you not “p-please won need you need you to fuck me “ he removed your panties looking at your dripping cunt making you embarrassed closing your legs while looking away “ah ah ah keep them open princess don’t ever feel like you need to hide this pretty Pussy from me “ he opend your legs about to go down on you but you couldn’t wait you didn’t know why you were so impatient “no w-wait”. “What is if baby” “I DONT wanna be probed please just fuck me please jungwon I need you so bad please wonnie “ he took his grey sweats off and his white t Lilly out his dick and he wasn’t wrong but Yuji was he had the prettiest dick ever he was thick and long and pretty so pretty you needed it so bad “what my princess wants she gets “he took his dick out lining up his tip pushing in little by little he stretched you out so you definitely needed some time but your wetness was making it super easy for the both of you “baby I’m gonna move now okay tell me if it hurts “he started thrusting in you feeling so good “ah jungwon omg so good please faster “he cupped your tits in his handing pumping in and out of you playing with your nipples and ther going to you big leaving hickys on you you were on cloud 9 “ugh baby your pussy feels so g-good this pussy is mine only mine “y-yes omg don’t stop please “ he was going harder making you a moaning mess atp you didn’t care if the neighbors heard you cause this was they best fuck of your life ever “no one’s g-gonna fuck this tight little pussy like I can huh” “all mine no one else is “ you could tell he was close and so were you you were so close if all felt to good “o-omg wonnie i CANT hold it f-Fels to good I-I’m gonna cum “ he kissed you sticking your forwards together intertwining fingers “it’s okay baby cum for me and with that you came undon leaving u speechless you swear you saw white feeling your cum gushing out of you but jungwon still hadn’t came leaving you starting to get a bit senator but you could tell he was so close to “ah y/n I’m so close where do you want me to come “ “please cum in me please “ you were getting close to your second orgasam hearing jungwon moan was sending you “ah ah I’m gonn- and with that you and him both came you for you second time and leaving you both outta breath panting and sweating he pulled out and sat next to you giggling a little “what’s so funny “you said outta breath “ nothing just that we have to go clean up now “”ughhhh I don’t wanna can we js go cuddle “ “it’s okay I’ll clean up my baby “ “ I love you jungwon “ “ me too y/n I love you so much “

//after shower//

You and jungwon just spent the rest of the night cuddling while you fell asleep on his chest as he drew shapes on your skin ……………….

**************

LET ME KNOW IF YOU GUYS WANT A PART FOR FINAL FOR THIS OR IF YOU GUYS WANNA END IT LIKE THIS SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT ITS EXAMS I HOPE EVERYONE LIKES THIS TYYY