#DO NOT try that shit under my posts
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Redraw of my Obimaul minicomic “Confidant”
I’m trying to put the timeline more in order, so I’m actually kind of fleshing out the way they look while growing up. Here Obi-Wan is around 18-19 while Maul is 15-16
Here is the original post!
#ahhhhhh every time I draw mace he gets sexier#I swear if ANYONE comes for my dude mace I’m gonna delete and block instantly#DO NOT try that shit under my posts#star wars#obimaul#obi wan kenobi#maul#darth maul#jedi maul#obi wan#qui gon jinn#mace windu#jedi!maul#jedi obimaul au#milks artsies
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fireworks show 🎆
material preview version is very cute also :)
i struggled with the lighting on this one so badly, but it turned out alright in the end.
i actually started it last year for new years 2023 but never got around to finishing it, hence no progress pictures this time sadly lol. i do have a very low-res, first draft, test gif though
stills 🥳
#first post of 2024 hi happy new years 👋🎉#ts4#ts4 render#tw flashing#flash warning#< please let me know if i need to put any other tags#it took me a whole 90 minutes to jump through every loophole possible and make this gif under 10mb....#and now the qualitys shit#for the love of all things good please do not look at this on mobile#thanks for stickin with me through 2023 :)#i know i don't respond to comments or asks half the time but i read every single one and they make my day#sorry#haven't even started gameplay with them yet and i'm already making renders#spoilers for what relationships may form 👀#the urge to design the bands first album and photoshoot and everything is strong#but calm down girl you haven't even given them a name yet#i'll try make a sim dump for anon in the next 2 weeks some time#edits#for now goodnight
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what remnant does to a mf
#fnaf#michael afton#me doods#look away people! this one's just for me and myself only#(despite maintagging yes i know but its for organization purposes) anyways#i am a big fan of remnant mutating the shit out of a person#pair that w michael's unique death and continued exposure to the spirits it ends up doing pretty fucked up stuff lol#post scoop michael looks like a purple titan 💀#i'm literally just making fun of my own design atp lmaooo#whatever's the opposite of same face syndrome i have that w michael#just recently added the bolts to the jaw and i love it sm i'm keeping it#post scoop michael is 6'7 so i just want yall to imagine this absolute unit of a cryptid losing his mind managing the pizzeria#he's out there sobbing shitting rolling on the floor trying to mute the fucking ads absolutely flooding his monitors#i drew what his neck looks like but its usually covered in bandages or a turtleneck#you do not want to see what's under his shirt btw. its a whole circus in there AHAHAHAHAHA
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reminder that anyone telling you not to vote is either an idiot or trying to strip away your rights 😊
#twelves rambles#us politics#serious posting time baby!#'im not voting for biden-' well then. either youre not voting (bad) or voting for trump (really bad)#so. you dont care.#biden isnt good by any means#but do you know how bad trump would be?#no really. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKING WORSE TRUMP WOULD BE?#i would literally flee the us if trump was elected. not kidding at all here.#i would uproot my whole fucking life rather than live under trump again#'biden doesnt care about palestine or poc or-' NEITHER DOES TRUMP!#at least biden gives half a shit about bodily autonomy and queer rights and clean energy etc etc#if you are not voting blue in america this election i do not trust you. full stop#(not including those who cant vote obvs)#not voting is worse than voting. the fascists try to strip away voting rights for a reason.#voting is important#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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so so so glad ur art has been taking off lately... i've loved ur dol art for ages now, so it's fun to see things with a wider appeal blow up! nwn
ty for sticking with me for so long !!!! it's honestly so surreal tbh,, im just kinda doing whatever comes to mind / whatever i want to do, im glad people seem to like it :33
#idkk its kinda lowkey scary in a way a part of me wants to gatekeep my stuff#NOT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL it just feels like im kinda put under a spotlight and im expected to keep drawing the same shit and idkkk#and idkkkkkk i dont want to say its for a wider appeal its kinda giving me the vibes of calling my drawings content and idkkkkkkkkkkkkkk#like ohh you have to know who ur target audience is oh you have to stop posting that bc no one cares and like who gives a shit#if i like it then i like it#i mean its why i dont put so many main tags in my stuff i just put the general fandom tag and character tag for organization purposes#except for like... that one mouthwashing drawing i think i wanted to add the character tags but it ended up looking like i was trying to#add every single tag under the sun 😭#which isnt bad btw !!!! i think every art/writing/project etc etc deserves to be seen and tags help with that#personally i dont like doing it so much unless i put a considerate amount of effort into a drawing bc i earned it or smthn#shit most of my stuff just has my personal tags in it i really didnt expect for them to suddenly be shared around#its that whole 'fear of being percieved vs that need for validation' i have going on. it kinda annoying tbh#sorry i got so rambly in the tags i overthink a lot can u tell LMAO#franswers
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can i be honest. i am so over one piece posts because of oversaturation, i block the tag, but i will always visit your tumblr every so often because i love the idea and content of bepolaw so much. theyre so good and hot and wonderful. your content specifically. bepolaw real, even if idk jack shit about the series
anon's one piece:
maybe the real treasure were the bear best friends we kissed along the way
thank you so much for the message ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ makes me super happy that you check my stuff specifically and its an exception :)))))) thats very very nice ♥
#anonymous#oversaturation is real even to me and im a fan#used to be more invested in the wank and the whole community hype part of it#when i first got in it in 2014 (?)#because i love communities and i was dumber and wasted myself more on arguing and whining lol#i try to do less of that now#anyway#i returned now thanks to epic bepo chan crumbs but i catch myself returning to old habits#like getting mad at fucking posts#and im like oh my god.....this shit again. not going back to tha old me#like i see that tidal wave of bullshit#like opening reply section under a popular post and see all the screeching#and woah mama that makes me wanna RUN#and i dont mean just the ''dudebro'' (i dont use that term seriously anymore its crap) part of it#fujo side is not much better#bigger fandom more people more annoying people#it all scales up
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my rewatch got to season 8
#house md#screenshot#THERE WAS NO WAY I'M NOT POSTING AT LEAST ONE OKAY#my obsession never went away#and knowing me it never will#wentworth miller#and shit i just realized#are there coldflash fics with len under the sleeping beauty curse?...#i know there are with barry#and now i look at this screenshot and can't help thinking about 'hit by the sleeping curse' len#and rogues all go in what the fuck do we do now mode because len is their collective brain cell#most of the time#when it's not about the flash#anyway the brain cell#they need their brain cell#after a week they'll send lisa to team flash#and no one except for mick is suicidal enough to try the kissing thing#lisa tried too#to check if sibling's love will work#it didn't#to team flash it was#and honestly all the rogues were sure (and not very silent about it) that the flash should just kiss the boss#and release all of them from their misery#they had time to make their peace with the concept#they had working eyes and ears okay#team flash was in the same boat#as it appeared#or they were pissed and against it and tried to stop barry from helping#or lisa went to ask for 'len's cute csi friend's contact because she was sure len had hots for the guy#cisco and the flash almost choked on air for very different reasons
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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend
my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.
but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)
on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.
and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(
you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth
and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!
#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened#my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda#ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game#because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something#normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have#when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think#i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing#others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie#but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy#and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him#and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me#i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder#this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for#literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND#i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better#yapping#diary#loz#pokemon
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new character page wip
#i edited the shit out of this code ngl#idk what i'm gonna put under the music section yet#the picture is just a place holder#i definitely like this layout better. not looking forward to having to do new pictures of everyone. again.#i'm also rewriting everyone's bios. again. bc i want them to reflect their current selves more#rn they're like a weird mix of their canon & post-canon selves & they just don't feel very. cohesive. ig#like. most of my edits take place in post-canon so i think their pages should match that?#they're not accurate to the versions of them that i share on here. that's what i mean#mm i just confused myself trying to think about it#ok. i'm gonna go have lunch & then i guess i'll write or something#i had something else i was gonna say but i forgot lol#rainyrambles
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Hypothetically, how do you think Mark would turn out if he never got his powers? What would he be doing? How would it change the original story? If the original Mark met this version of himself, how would they react to each other?
This took me a min to respond to because I am extra and had to draw something about this, but thay just means I was so delighted to take this ask, holy shit. I love thinking about AU's, tysm fo the ask, anon! :)
I don't know of the comics add any details about Mark's interests other than being a hero like his Dad (ex. even comic hobby seems to go right back to that). Nothing about school life stands out either, (besides struggling with geography, a detail I love sm), so he's probably an average student who fumbled hard when he started to get busy with Invincible stuff! So, while I can see the possibility of him working hard and striving for career that also helps saves lives ergo paramedic, fireman, emergency dispatcher, etc I actually adore the idea of him interning at the GDA???
(Okay, note, while I do see him training or getting experience in random roles, Cecil would not EVER let Mark actually be a GDA solider because imagine telling Omni-Man his son got killed. Yikes! So, intern/trainer uniform and not the official solider one.)
I can see him diving into it wholeheartedly, eager to not only prove himself, but help people like his Dad does, kinda trying to get as close to his dream as he can be. And honestly, Nolan would probably be thrilled the last reminder for Colonization Time is permanently delayed (ergo Mark never getting his powers), so I can see him either encouraging this, or being slightly conflicted? I don't know how much he actually trusts the GDA or Cecil, so it could just be bittersweet?
But, I love the idea of GDA!Mark for the potential strain in their dynamic. See, while we can't have the kind of unfolding drama in s1 considering Nolan's slaughter spree might not necessarily happen, the idea of Mark having to process the weight of his own idolization, unable to stand side by side with him on the field, feeling like Nolan feed into the idea he'd get powers, only to end up disappointed year after year could foster some bitterness and/or desperate need to prove himself. He would see Nolan slightly more, but maybe that's just a reminder of what he can't do. Where he can't reach. Nolan having doubts in GDA, would only worsen the strain, how exciting!
Plus, GDA seems to be the classic kind of trust nobody type of government agency that may to try detach Mark's (almost) unshakable faith in his Dad, and could push him to look into what exactly his Dad's past/planet/history is exactly like for documentation, as Mark tries to grasp how much he trusts Nolan and the GDA. If Slaughter Time does happen, then that's incredible drama!!! As Mark, who feels aligned with both the GDA and his Dad, now has to work to find the truth, probably to prove his Dad's innocence, only to find the horrible news instead.
Does Nolan tell Mark and Debbie at the same time, who both already know, haven't told the others, and you got family drama of the fucking century again? Ideally? Yes. I love dramatic irony a normal amount.
I think GDA!Mark and Canon!Mark wouldn't get along tbh. While C!Mark is relieved by the lack of maliciousness, GDA!Mark is literally seeing where his entire life could have been if he'd only gotten powers. 'Cause, while I do think Mark is a fundamentally kind person, it's also clear he's incredible hard on himself which I think crosses over to alternate selves. So, he'd be bitter as fuck. Yeah, they both suffered, but I think the envy would go crazy. GDA!Mark would start questioning everything, like if that Nolan loved his son more for having powers, and if C!Mark just fucked it up somehow, so if GDA!Mark got powers maybe he could've done something different? Said the right thing? Like there's this desperation to know could it have turned out any other way? Was it truly his fault? Was it something he should've said better? I think there's a quiet spiraling despair in seeing the distorted mirror version of oneself and still seeing them suffering. Was there really no other ending? It had to be this way?
Thanks for the ask tho :D !!! Currently trying to remember I have this blog while I fight art block fjgkfg.
Oh! And Bonus idea of interning at GDA still means he hangs out with Teen Team!!! Maybe he helps log injuries, reviews battles, handles reports, memorizing villain weaknesses as base support, but there's this underlying part of him that still feels so useless next to them? I can see Rex and Mark getting off on the wrong foot immediately, but Kate and Mark bonding? Mostly because I want Kate and Mark bonding like please.
#invincible rotating in my mind#asks#mark grayson#I LOVE STRAINED FATHER SON DYNAMICSSSSS#I LOVE EVERY MARK BEING TRAPPED UNDER THEIR FATHER'S SHADOW#i can't tell if mark's peers/coworkers KNOW if he's omni-man's son but like mentor cecil hoursssssssssss#oh and cecil does absolutely try to use mark to know more about omni-man under the guise of finding the truth or something#if im being super indulgent mark still has like slight invulnerability#cant fly cant be super strong cant do jack shit but be hard to kill#which he finds out post-nolan flying away / end of s1#and it just adds to the mounting mental spiral of anguish#but i love the idea of it haha imagine knowing you did have a power all along but its so fucking subtle it didn't even matter#the bitterness would go CRAZYYYYYYYYY#anyways also if the eyes look slightly funky im trying to be better about keeping distinct features!!! mark looked white as hell before djf#i need to practice !!!#invincible au
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trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1
wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)
bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:
#my art lol#synth v yuma#yuma synthv#synth v#synthv fanart#synthesizer v#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#YES I KNOW ITS DIFFERENT but at this rate its the umbrella tag. all vsynth shit goes under there just like on main 😔#sorry for the annoyign watermarks i just dont want this to get stolennn/traced it'll b my joker arc. is2g#like thats never happened to me before as far as i know but now that my art is getting 'better' i begin to get scared that it will happen#if my fanart got stolen i'd def sting a little yeah but not hurt AS bad as if someone stole my original shit. THAT would hurt#one of many reasons why i post less personal oc stuffs. although as mentioned above i AM in an oc mood so i wanna draw em maybe...#and stuff like this is a step to develop a PROPER FUCKING REF STYLE bc i SUCKKKK AT MAKING REFS LOL 😭 BUT I SHOULD GIT GUD#i have a few other refs planned for vocaloid au (i guess???) related shit but they're not done yet. this one was also a wip that i just??#impulsively decided to redo & finish bc i wanted to draw but nothing else i was trying to draw came out right. advantages of many wips#i have SOOO many things i could say abt some of the things that went into this redesign but i dont wanna come off as pretentious 😔💔#obviously it was primarily inspired by the vimalion yuma design but. there's moreeee that i can't explain here bc tag limits and im shy#i do think i want to try and be more intentional with my character designs now so i'm seeing how that goes as i redesign some old ocs#man though this kind of stuff makes me remember i used to LOVEE doing this stuff. and now its even crazierr given art improvement#uaurhghh my head is buzzing w/. so many thoughts. THIS ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS I GET SO MANY IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY GFD#this is actually from today though unlike some other things i might eventually post. that'll make more sense soon#and fuckkk i forgot the chain necklace thing on the chibi yeah but i couldnt get it to look good. whatever
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yagami, WHY do you have to be such a bitch around kuwana. i'm going to strangle you.
(P.S.: he didn't tell kuwana that tesso said not to feel bad about it. obviously.)
#kuwagami#judge eyes#nah the best thing here is that yagami fucking KNOWS already that kuwana is not a piece of shit#he can admit to other people that yeah kuwana really cares about people. he knows that kuwana probably feels bad AND he is correct about it#and when he. when he fucking. SEES him. he starts being a bitch. amazing.#yagami stop being a little hater challenge FAILED!!!#damn you know we all see that kuwana annoys yagami out of spite and while it CAN be true under some circumstances>#(like. trying to weasle his way into yagami's investigation. you know. and the flirting. obviously.)#but as i see it yagami is no better. his default state is being a bitch so of course he is bitchy to kuwana as well#but he can't switch it off and just. acts so immature that kuwana has no other option than to do the same#guess who's having more common sense out of these two actually. the answer may shock you#anyway if you're interested why my fics are being written so slow it's because i'm picking apart canon events to see if i missed something#uhm I GUESS!#this one i've thought about for a while but it's now relevant for the update so i came back here and just. just had to post it you know.#also yeah i kinda dug my own grave with picking yagami's disguise here because i haven't stopped laughing until he took it off#“no kuwana of course i made sure rk wouldn't know it's me i had THE BEST disguise even my friends wouldn't know it's me”#though who's kuwana to judge. he just changed his jacket and went eehhh good enough#these two idiots deserve each other. fucking hate them#putting letters together one word at a time
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my ultimate wish for this next era is they finally let Ryan go like they did Andy. I'm so sick of not getting the content we deserve. All the gatekeeping of tour diaries and now the crumbs of concert footage in that "documentary" yesterday. he was working for months on that? that's why we didn't get tour diaries? all that footage just goes in his vault now? Please.
Hello! I'm sorry to hear you felt disappointed by yesterday's special. However, I feel compelled to comment on a few objective points in your ask.
- "Live & Backstage in Amsterdam" was directed by James Tonkin, the same director (and production team, Hangman) they worked with on "The Feeling of Falling Upwards" (and the unreleased "Live in Brixton" special). Ryan was credited as director of the documentary footage and as a contributing editor (1 of 3) but the live footage and overall final program was not his work.
- Regardless of the particular creatives involved here (or in any given project for that matter), the fact remains that any directors, producers, photographers, etc are all hired hands operating with full input and specific direction from the band. The band chose to make this a hybrid concert film/documentary. The band chose to condense the setlist the way they did. The band chose this format over the traditional tour diaries. What happens to the unused footage will be determined by the band. Ryan is a friend but he is first and foremost an employee and the band owns that footage. (Likewise, the MYT diaries are not sitting on Andy Deluca's hard drive because he's "gatekeeping" or too lazy to edit it. If the band wanted them released, they'd be released.) All this to say, of course you don't have to agree with the decisions but it's important to clarify who your complaint is with.
- This concept of the band or their collaborators "gatekeeping" and fans not getting what we "deserve" is, to be blunt, entitled and immature. Being a fan does not make an artist indebted to you. They make music, if you feel so inclined, you listen. That's it. That's the extent of the contract. Anything beyond that is optional for both parties. Any content an artist chooses to release is not out of obligation or generosity, it's part business strategy, part artistic vision. Artists do not owe you anything. This band does not owe you anything.
#apologies for the long answer but clearly i had a lot to say (still do tbh)#i didn't link it bc it hit a lot of the same points but i answered an ask with similar sentiments last year about the CM promo era aesthetic#bottom line is at the end of the day these dudes are not our friends shit posting they are professional artists#artists trying to fulfill not just a creative vision but also business obligations#the people they work with are tools in the toolbox hired to help accomplish those goals#they don't get raw footage and do whatever they want with it - the band will always get final say#the hate their collaborators get is always so bizarre to me-whether it be their signature style or the manner in which they deliver content#the band hired these people for a reason 🤷🏻♀️#also just bc I have the time: Andy was not 'let go'#thru their work with 5sos andy & sarah have become quite prolific mv directors both individually and as a team#as well as continuing to be in demand live music photographers - andy literally shot depeche mode last week#ryan has also had a number of high profile ad campaigns he's shot this year#what I'm saying is they don't need 5sos lol#the band likes their work and is lucky to have access to collaborators that make them feel understood#i just... can't reconcile this 'we deserve' bit#this was the third concert special in as many years... we only had to pay for one... bc it was a global livestream#it's ok to be disappointed if it wasn't what you expected and i don't mean to invalidate that#but this concept of 'deserving' is a different thing especially in the context of this fandom where entitlement is an ongoing issue#so that's where this long ass answer is coming from lol#anyways that's my rant for the year - just in under the wire!#ask#anon
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i had a conversation with my aunt today about how the system and politics and basically everything is fucked at the moment (which is true) and she was SO CLOSE to so many points but she never acknowledged that capitalism is the root of so many of those problems... Bestie you're So Close...
#and then she was like “I'm not voting anymore because all patties are bad”#And like she has a point#but don't you think it's more important to stop literal fascists who wanna take people's rights away from coming into power#instead of just Not Participating At All#I didn't wanna say it out loud but that's a very privileged thing to do#idc that you feel discriminated against because you're antivax#there are people literally trying to outlaw gay couples from adopting kids and shit#i'm sorry that i can't simplify be ✨above things✨ that effect me and my friends personally#and I feel like she's coming from a good place because she's not actively bigoted in any way that I know of#but she's so ignorant under the guise of ✨being above political labels and camps✨#??? that doesn't mean you can just ignore problems because “the other side has issues too”#especially if you say you care so much about everyone??? what the fuck#we're always so close to agreeing#but#my post#politics (not american)#vent (sorta)
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Mom come pick me up the voices are loud again (the image of the poster children of Creepypasta in. Slender's Mansion again. All as one big fuck ass family. Fucked up one with issues abroad. But also one of mutual understanding and what if I want them to heal and grow as people. Forever changed by the events or even what they are fundamentally but still being able to live in this world as who they are now with a support group of beings similar yet so distant from themselves. They can never go back or completely change who they are without damaging themselves or there's nothing else to go back to anymore, so all they can do is move forward. And kill people, that's always a bonus)
#nebula rambles#creepypasta#i like to think that the fucking. creepypasta found family is the beginning of me really#liking found family tropes#im gonna fucking lose it man#there's a whole comic i did back in october of jeff and slendy actually like. talking it out#bc in my mind for these fuckers it's less of 'this one's the brother figure this one's the sister'#and while it. still is there minorly#it's more of like#a bunch of fucked up people (mainly arriving/being found as kids/teens)#coming together under one household with all their problems#and like. are we not going to take advantage of how jeff isn't. exactly mentally sound post fire#like. that's the whole reason for killing his family (or just his parents if we really go ham with homicidal liu) aside from the moment he-#killed randy but that's besides the point#i need to catch up and finish the ben arg so i can't say too much on ben's side#but the general shit of how it is before the arg got put on hiatus. oughgh#do you fuckers have any idea how hard i think of them once the floodgates open#and thinking of them as like. a rowdy bunch just trying to get by with what they have#with the house they have with a fuck ass Thing that brought them here#and the house slowly becomes more like a home the longer theyre here#the older they get#im. oughgh#anyways hiii ask me my creepypasta headcanons /nsrs /j
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.
#cassy bitches#i am. so fucking tired and annoyed and stressed#our fucking shower hasn't worked in two weeks bc my parter decided to remodel and then didnt finish the job!#and now her fucking sibling fucked up our dishwasher and it leaked water EVERYWHERE including apparently under the floorboards#and im pretty sure i can smell black mold in the kitchen now which! great! another nightmare we're gonna have to fix ourselves#since we cant afford to get a contractor and even if we could no one ever returns our calls when we do try to hire someone#AND my friend went to surgery for appendicitis and that's freaking me out#and ON TOP of that ive been creatively juiced out and feeling like shit about the things i make and my ocs and like. me#like everyone's just been secretly tolerating me all this time and if i disappear no one's going to notice#i feel like nothing i make or am doing is worthwhile and im just GROSS and ANGRY and ANNOYING#and even complaining in tags on a post makes me feel like a whiny baby like. there are wars etc why am i complaining boo hoo#so i cant even talk to people about how i feel bc it makes me so ashamed that im feeling this way to begin with#ive been resisting the urge to just delete everything at this point bc then at least i wont have the urge to check everything and feel wors#why does awful shit always happen right around my birthday. why am i cursed like this
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