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aothotties · 8 months ago

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Church Boy!Armin as your sneaky link

Since we did JJK men as your sneaky link, we've decide to do the same with AOT!

Warnings: MDNI, swearing, mentions of Christianity, mention of masturbation, unprotected sex, squirting, creampie.

Word Count: 945

________

You had no intentions of ever fucking this man. You’ve known him for years and never once thought of him in that way

Ever since you were younger Armin has been a good boy. Always following the rules and never getting in trouble

In college he started going to church, and before you knew it, he was a goody-two-shoes church boy. He was always trying to convince everyone to go to church with him

He would often send out bible verses, and would even bring his bible to outings with everyone.

You loved Armin, but church wasn’t for you. With your many tattoos and piercings, you felt out of place. So you never went.

Armin would always try and convince you to go, saying things like, “God says come as you are.” and things like that; but like i said, it just wasn't for you.

Out of nowhere, Armin stopped nagging you to go. You thought you were finally off the hook. That is, until he started showing up to your door saying he wanted to have bible study with you.

At first, you repeatedly told him no but eventually gave in. You would sit and listen to him read. Explaining everything to you and then moving on with your day. You thought nothing of it… but Armin? It meant a whole lot to him. Not just because he was so into the bible, but because he was so turned on by you.

He couldn't explain it. The way you sat there and listened, the tattoos on your body, the piercings, the way your lips glistened from the gloss; it was too much for him.

He couldn't understand how he could let himself be provoked to sin, but he couldn't stop.

He started touching himself to the thought of you, he was ashamed but he was so enamored he refused to stop.

One day he came to your house, and as you peaked over his shoulder to read he leaned in to kiss you.

You were beyond shocked.

Armin?? Good boy, church-loving Armin had his tongue in your mouth right now? You couldn’t believe it, but that one kiss lead to him pushing you against the wall and fucking you, and ever since, your bible studies turned into body studies

“y/n, fuck”, he whined as he kissed you

Today the bible didn't even get opened before he pounced on you. He climbed on top of you and started kissing you passionately. His tongue was intertwined with yours. He was grinding his hard dick against your core.

Today you got curious and decided to ask him what he was doing

“Wait Armin”, you said.

He stopped, fearing he did something wrong.

“Is everything okay? Did I do too much?” he questioned, with worry present in his eyes.

“No, you didn't do anything wrong, but… what are we doing? Aren't you super religious? Why do you keep coming over here to have sex with me”, you questioned

He stared at you, shocked by your question, but also feeling guilty.

“I dont know. Y/N you just do something to me”, he said as he moved closer to you.

“Something about you drives me insane. You're like a vixen, I think about you constantly.” He leaned over and started kissing you again.

“If this sends me to hell, so be it.” he said between kisses, “You're my favorite sin.”

Armin started removing your clothes and his kisses trailed down to your neck. He bit on your sweet spot causing you to moan.

He got both of your clothes off and lined his cock up to your cunt. He kissed you passionately before sliding in.

“Fuck- feels so good.” he whispered in your ear.

He pressed his body weight onto you and continuously slammed his hips into yours.

As sweet and fragile as he was, you couldn't lie. Armin had a big dick and knows how to use it.

His tip was hitting your g-spot causing you to moan.

He took one of your legs and lifted it over his shoulder, causing his dick to reach deeper inside you.

“A-armin-” you moaned out.

Hearing you moan his name made him go even harder, bullying his cock deep inside you.

The wet squelching noises were filling the room, and both of your bodies were covered in sweat. The whole time Armin never took his eyes off you.

He was completely enamored by you; the way your eyes glazed over, the way your breasts bounced, the way your mouth looked while you moaned his name, he couldn't get enough of you.

He placed your other leg on his shoulder and pushed your knees to your chest. The new angle caused tears to form in your eyes.

“Right there-fuck I’m gonna cum!” you whined.

Armin picked up the pace.

“Yeah baby, cum for me!” he responded.

He threw his head back from your walls squeezing him, and Armin approached his own high.

“Fuck!” he groaned out.

His thrust got sloppy, and you knew he was close.

“Yeah baby, cum with me!” you said to him.

Your legs shook and your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your whole body got warm, and your orgasm washed over you.

You came on his dick, soaking his thighs and abdomen, and seconds later you felt his warm seed fill you to the brim.

He laid there on top of you for a few seconds before finally getting off.

“That um- that was great.” he said.

“I know.” you said, as you slipped your clothes back on, and he did the same.

“So-” he said, “...um yeah 1st Corinthians, chapter 3, verse 6.”

Rachel

#aot smut #aot x black reader #aot scenarios #aot x reader #aot imagines #armin x black reader #armin arlet x reader #armin arlert smut #armin smut #armin x reader #armin

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supreme-leader-stoat · 2 months ago

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Where does "turn the other cheek" leave Christians in terms of self-defense?

Alright, so, big asterisk up front: we've been arguing about this among ourselves for about two millennia and it shows no signs of stopping. A Quaker is liable to give you a much different answer than a raised-Baptist.

First, some context. The "turn the other cheek" verse is specifically part of the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus takes Old Testament law and raises the ante. The law says not to murder, He tells them not to let their anger overtake and control them to begin with. The law says not to commit adultery, He says not to even look at people with lustful intentions (this is the poke out your eye, cut off your hand passage). The law says that a man divorcing his wife has to give her the legal protections of a certificate of divorce, He says that anything short of cheating isn't valid grounds for divorce to begin with (this has a lot to do with the protections or lack thereof for unmarried women at the time, but that's a whole tangent I won't go into here). The law says to keep your oaths, He says to be such a straightforward and honest person that you don't even need to give your oath to begin with. And so on.

Now, with all that in mind; "turn the other cheek" is Him upping the ante on the segment of Mosaic law that literally gives us the phrase "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." It was half legal prescription on the just punishments for certain crimes, and half laying down the rules and restrictions of what constituted acceptable proportionate retaliation. If someone punches you, you can punch him back. Someone kills your brother, you can execute him. What you can't do is go and slaughter his entire family, because that's how you get blood feuds, and that doesn't end well for anybody.

Looking at it from that angle, "turn the other cheek" is a commandment against retaliation and vengeance, and this is the interpretation I've grown up around most of my life. Someone hits you and you've got the opportunity to walk away, then you take your lumps and go, and you don't stew and think about what you're gonna do to get back at him the next time you see him.

Active and immediate self-preservation is another matter. To the best of my knowledge, there is no clear prohibition in the Bible against such actions; even "he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword" is immediately followed by "Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels? But how then should the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must be so?" The rebuke isn't for acting in the defense of others, it's for getting trigger-happy when Jesus isn't in any true (immediate) danger and because it's ultimately a pointless fight; Jesus has to go to the cross.

If you'll pardon an older example, let's take a look at Esther Chapter 8. King Ahasuerus gives the Jews leave to form militias to protect themselves and their property against the lynch mobs that would be attacking them as part of Haman's genocide plot, and this is presented to us as an inherently just and sensible course of action.

So, to answer the original question, I don't believe that there's anything wrong with Christians practicing self-defense, "turn the other cheek" notwithstanding.

But.

There's one more thorny patch to consider in this whole argument, and that's the one bit of Matthew 5 that comes after "turn the other cheek": "Love your enemy, and pray for those who persecute you." The safety that Christians enjoy in the modern west is an anomaly both geographically and historically. Christianity is, at its very root, a religion of martyrs. Many and maybe even most of those martyrs have gone to their deaths, if not willingly, then at least peaceably. It's worth noting that we don't tell the story of Stephen, who made a valiant last stand against the mob that tried to stone him. We tell the story of Stephen the martyr. "Lord, do not hold this sin against them."

Honestly, I don't know that I'd have the courage to die like they did. If there's someone who's trying to hurt you, trying to hurt your family, I won't be the one to look you in the eyes and say you have to stand down; I'm already well aware of the decision I'd make in that situation. But from the moment we accept eternal life, our old lives here on Earth are forfeit. Any time that could be taken from us with our death is on loan to begin with. A hypothetical attacker in a self-defense situation isn't guaranteed that same benefit. They might very well have far, far more to lose than we do.

I don't believe Christians are forbidden self-defense, but I think we are expected to weigh the costs.

#Christianity

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ashwhowrites · 4 months ago

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Hi my love!! Hope you’re well 😊 I’ve never sent a request before so I hope this is intelligible.

So Older!Eddie and reader have a relationship she’s hiding from her strict religious parents because Eddie is of course a Metalhead and his appearance and such, whereas she’s younger (about 21) and has always been brought up surrounded by bible verses, hymns and the belief that anything impure will send her to Hell. However, when she begins her relationship with Eddie, she begins to break away from her parents beliefs and has all her firsts with Eddie.

They have this beautiful relationship where he’s completely enamoured and soft with her, all patient and understanding because he knows she’s new to it all. And one day, her mother sees her car parked outside of Eddie’s trailer (I imagine him to live in his own, still in the trailer park) when driving past and confronts reader when she’s home. It’s all angsty, telling her she’ll never get to have kids with him, he’ll never stick around and she won’t want to spend the rest of her life trailing along behind him as he grows old, not living her life or making anything of herself because of it. Her parents do nothing but ignore her presence around the house, even going as far to take down the pictures of her from the walls

Her mom’s words stay on her mind and she pulls away from Eddie, leaving him terrified of what’s happened and if she’s leaving him. She goes there a couple days after, repeating it all to Eddie and trying to convince herself that her mother was right in the process. She doesn’t budge when Eddie tries convincing her whilst crying from her harsh words to him. So it’s a big emotional argument with Eddie grasping her arm as she tries to leave, crying as he kisses her skin all over, murmuring about how much he loves her.

As she goes to leave his trailer for the last time once he’s stopped begging her not to, they stare at each other tearfully before she begins sobbing, running into his arms and she explains everything and ends up leaving her parents and moving in with Eddie. Happy Ending???

Sorry this was so long 😅

Fair warning- I did not grow up religious, and it was never taught to me, so my description of it might be totally off. And I hope that does not offend anyone

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

To believe in him

Y/N lived in a structured home, with structured parents. She was taught to pray before she rests her head, pray before every meal, and be a girl God would have been proud of. She lived in a cloud, her eyes and ears shut off how the world truly was. Her parents had her in a bubble where perfection was the standard and she better not be a dash less.

She didn't know any better, raised in her parents' ways that she never knew there was so much more to the world. Then she met Eddie, tall dark, and handsome. He was mysterious, alternative, had long hair, and listened to the devil's music. He used absurd language and had the mind of a sinner. But Y/N swore whenever she saw him, she saw what a true angel looked like.

His smile beamed and he had this glow. Warm brown eyes that made her feel lost, and arms that grounded her. She didn't know what love would feel like, but she knew that this was it.

He was older, had seen the world, and made it back. He was a survivor who got his hands dirty in the soil. He lived alone and made his own money to feed and shelter himself. Everything a man was supposed to be in the books she grew up reading. But she knew he could never go home to her parents. One look at him and they'd shun him down to hell. That was the sad part about her parent's religion, it masked their eyes to people who weren't afraid to live freely in the world.

Once their relationship took off, she came clean about everything. About the religion, her parents, and that she was new to everything. Eddie was slow, and patient, and held her hand through everything. He showed her the ropes of being in a relationship. Teaching her that she didn't have to be sorry for not doing everything perfectly on the first try. He allowed her to fail, to try again, and to feel pride in herself.

He showed her the world. She listened to music her parents would hate. She watched inappropriate movies. She wore new clothes and pieces that made her feel sexy. She kissed and kissed. She went further, having sex with a man without a ring on her finger.

"Are you sure?" Eddie whispered, his naked body on top of hers as his long hair dangled around her face. His eyes stayed on hers, his left hand on her hip, and right on her face.

"Yes"

She whined in pain as he slowly slid in, pressing kisses all over her face as he rubbed her hip with his thumb. Sweet words fell from his lips as her body welcomed him in.

He talked her through the pain, the anxiety washing away as she looked into the eyes of the only man she had ever loved. The pain turned to bliss as he moved inside of her. His lips and hands were on her skin, and the warm feeling of him was inside of her. She cried out as she felt things she had never felt before, clawing at Eddie's skin.

And she didn't regret any of it.

Eddie loved her more than anything in the world. He understood her fear of the world around her and breaking away from everything she had learned. He didn't ruin her or make her damaged goods. He didn't believe in the same beliefs as her, but he would always respect it.

After a year of being together, he was amazed at her growth. He knew she couldn't bring him home and he was okay with that. He had a trailer all to himself and he loved adding her in. He loved her things in his shower and room. Her favorite snacks are in his pantry and drinks are in his fridge.

He wanted the next step. He wanted her home to be his home.

~~~

"Smells amazing in here," Y/N said softly, wrapping her arms around Eddie's waist as he stood by the stove. The smell of chicken filled his small home, and she could feel her stomach growling.

"I think," he started, turning around so he could face her. He pushed her hair away from her neck, leaning down as his nose tickled her skin. "You smell amazing."

She shivered as his lips kissed her neck, and his strong hands held her hips. He pulled back and captured her lips in a kiss. His warm lips pressed against hers as she felt her body float. Every kiss made her head spin in the clouds.

She pulled away with a blush and a smile

"I love you" he whispered

"I love you too"

They had a romantic dinner and then she was heading home. A smile on her face as she walked through the front door. Her body buzzed as she felt the ghost of his hands on her.

She smiled at her mother, preparing to walk past her but her mother stopped her.

"I prayed you would be smart enough to not disappoint God, but I seem to be wrong."

Y/N gulped as she looked into her mother's angry eyes. Her stomach turned in miserable ways.

"What do you mean?" She asked nervously

"You cannot be with that...that devil of a man!" Her mother seethed, standing up as her chair scraped against the floor.

"He's not the devil, Mom." She said quietly, "he's a good guy"

"Oh my, he has already brainwashed you!" Her mother argued

"Brainwashed me? How?" Y/N asked, feeling anger rushing through her bones

"He has taken advantage of your young age! He is a grown man and doing what knows what with a naive and stupid young girl. That man is heading to hell and I will not let you go there with him. You hear me, young lady?" Her mother got closer as her words got louder

Y/N felt backed against a wall, tears in her eyes

"I'm not stupid! I love him and he loves me. There is nothing wrong with that. He did not take advantage of me and I have a full say in our relationship. I do the things I want to do and he never forces anything. I'm not shunned to hell simply because I am in love." Y/N argued, standing up for herself and Eddie. Something she would have never done if Eddie didn't teach her.

"A relationship? Do you think your little fun is a relationship? You are far more stupid than I thought. You cannot marry a man who is over ten years older than you. You cannot stop living your life, in your prime years, simply because he is growing old. Do you realize that? Do you want kids? Not going to happen when the father is in his forties. He isn't going to be tied down to that. Your life will be put on hold, and you will never make something of yourself." Her mother spoke the words right in her face.

And Y/N hated the way the words affected her body

"You will not be my daughter for as long as you walk hand in hand with the devil."

The last words her mother ever said to her.

Y/N truly believed it would get better as each day passed, but it didn't. Her parents ignored her around the house. Never turning their eyes her way, never speaking towards her. They never talked about her and went as far as to take her pictures off the walls. It was like she was a ghost and watching her family live without her.

She tried to ignore it. Live her life like nothing changed. She didn't say anything to Eddie because she believed she could handle it. But she couldn't. Whenever she saw him, her mother's words haunted her brain.

So she began to pull away, staying locked in her room as she felt unworthy of being anywhere else. Was she a bad person? Would God shame her for the decisions she made? Would she ever be forgiven? Did she want to be forgiven?

~~~

A week passed after she pulled away from Eddie and he panicked. He had no idea what happened and what changed. All he knew was that he hated it more than anything. He wanted her back and to love each other as easily as it always was.

Y/N felt like Eddie deserved a goodbye, and she could at least give him that.

She left her house, without a word. Her heart was heavy as she knocked on his door.

She tucked herself in her arms when he opened the door. She held back the gasp when she took in his state. His hair was wild and messy, eyes so red and puffy. His cheeks were raw and his lips bruised, probably from biting them so hard.

"Baby" he breathed out in relief, his arms went to wrap around her but she stepped back.

Eddie bit his lip as he also stepped back. A new rush of tears was already falling down his face. She looked tired and sad, and he hated it.

"What happened?" He asked, letting her walk inside as he closed the door.

"I think we need to break up, Eddie." She said. Eddie felt his heart stop as the words left her lips.

"What? Why?"

"It's just...in the long run, this relationship isn't going to work. I want a marriage and I want kids. We can't have that. You are only getting older and I'm still so young. There's so much of the world I need to see."

"Who says we can't do that all together? I'll marry you, I'll have all the kids you want. I'll fly you anywhere you want to go. Age has never been an issue, and it doesn't have to be. We can stay together and I'll give you everything you want." Eddie fought, his hands reaching out to clench over hers.

She hiccupped as she tried to keep her sobs hidden. But he stood with his tears flying freely and his heart on his sleeve.

"You don't want that Eddie! You've left this town and always came right back. You aren't going to leave for some random girl" she snapped

Eddie wasn't sure what happened but he knew it was something he needed to fix. He hated that she seemed so mad and already made up her mind.

"You aren't a random girl! I'm in love with you. Maybe I always came back to this town because you were here." He cried, moving his hands up to her shoulders as he gripped onto her for life.

"That's bullshit, Eddie. This wasn't an act of faith from the universe. You wanted fun with someone young, and naive enough to believe it could have been love." Her eyes were hard as she glared at him. Almost like she blamed him for the relationship ever starting.

"Stop it! This is love! It's always been love. You can't say this shit and act like it's common knowledge. I'd do anything for you. Just please, let us fix this." He begged. No shame as he showed just how vulnerable he was.

"EDDIE STOP! THIS ISN'T LOVE," she screamed as she pushed him away.

"YES IT IS!" he screamed back but allowed her to push him away.

"IT'S NOT! WE CAN'T HAVE KIDS! I NEED TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MYSELF BEFORE I START A FAMILY. We can't wait for that, Eddie. We can't have kids when you are fifty, I'll be stuck raising them alone I don't wanna just be someone's wife! I offer more to the world" she argued

"What can I say to change your mind?" He whispered, "What can I say to make you believe me? I don't care what age I am when we have kids. And you'd never be alone!" His hands held her face as she sniffled. "I've been here and I always will be. Right next to you through everything. You are more than just a wife, and I will watch you conquer the world but please let me be there with you."

"I'm sorry, but you can't" she sobbed, softly taking his hands off her face. "This is the end, Eddie." She ran past him, throwing open the door as she ran out. Running from him and running from all the pain she caused.

But Eddie wasn't one to give up. He ran after her. He grabbed her arm and twisted her right into his body. The impact of her body smashing into his caused the breath to leave her lungs.

"I love you. I love everything about you" he cried. His lips were wet from tears as he pressed kisses to her skin. He kissed up her arms, neck, and face. Kissing everything as he mumbled all the love he had for her. "No one will ever love you the way I do. Believe me. Trust me and stay with me."

She sobbed as his words hit her skin. She bit her lip as she tried to pull away. Crying harder as his grip got tighter.

"Eddie, let me go"

"No" he cried

"Eddie, you need to let me go"

"Baby, I can't do that"

"EDDIE, LET ME GO!" she sobbed

"You really want to end this?" He asked

She didn't say a word but nodded. She felt a whimper leave her throat when he let her go. Distance between them and it killed her to know there would be so much more once she got in her car and drove away.

"I won't stop you. But, what's your plan? Leave me and move on? Find someone your age to fall in love with? Like everything we've done together is gonna just be a memory? Am I just going to be a memory?" His voice cracked as more tears fell. But he stood still, allowing her to leave.

"I...I don't know"

"You are okay with ending this for an I don't know? I know that I will never move on and I will never fall in love with anyone else. Can you?" He asked, holding his breath as he waited for her to answer.

"No," she said without a beat. She knew once she left, all she would do was think about him. Wish that every man she'd ever meet was him.

They stared at each other in silence. Tears down their faces as they soaked in each other for one last time.

He refused to move first, he refused to walk away. But she felt frozen in the dirt. Visions of her future life and she saw him in every part. If she left, all it would do would please her parents. It would leave her heartbroken and filled with regret. It was clear this man loved her. The way he was fighting for her was a sign that she was right where she was supposed to be.

Neither were sure of how long they stood there. Seconds, minutes, or even hours. Time didn't seem to exist.

Y/N felt a huge sob coming up her throat, the sob was loud as she choked on her own tears. And she ran again, but this time straight into his arms. He sobbed into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry. My mom got in my head but I love you so much. I can't leave you. I want you. I want us." She sobbed, her words coming out broken but Eddie understood. He held her tighter as he cradled her head into his chest. "They hate me. I don't even have a home anymore. But I'll never be happy if I leave you."

"Home is right here. Right here with me." He said into her hair, kissing her head as he embraced the feeling of her in his arms.

He was right. Home was never that house. Home was everything she felt while being in his arms.

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hamliet · 9 months ago

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Hazbin Hotel Has Better Theology Than Most Modern "Christian" Stories

As a Christian who was raised in a fundie cult and escaped to now have a far healthier and vital faith, I genuinely really like this show. The songs are bops. The characters are well crafted and interesting, and likable too. The art design is bizarre but appealing.

And, as a theology nerd who studied theology as part leaving said cult and also has since gotten papers published in theology, I'm actually fairly impressed by the show's handling of theology.

No, I'm not expecting the story to preach or even like, be explicitly Christian in a lot of ways. But it's taking a lot of the really beautiful aspects of Christian theology and re-contextualizing them in a way designed to provoke thought: by juxtaposing them with the antithesis of what you would think, by making demons heroes. In my opinion, this makes the beauty shine brighter.

Yeah, yeah, it's designed to be offensive and obscene in a lot of ways. Yet, it's never (thus far) mean-spirited. On the contrary, it seems to have a big, beating heart at its core that is perhaps best embodied by Charlie Morningstar, its protagonist and the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith.

Critique of the Church, with Caveats

The story works best with an interpretation that heaven isn't actually heaven or God (who has been conspicuously absent), but instead as a critique of the church. Specifically, the evangelical American church, and specifically, white evangelicals. (Same as She-Ra's premise, actually).

God's absence therefore makes sense, because while Christians do believe God is present as a living reality among us, we also can't like, see him physically now. So, God being not even mentioned in HH makes it seem more like a mortal reality rather than an immortal one. Honestly I kinda hope God doesn't appear in the story, not only because I think it could cross some lines (which is admittedly personal), but also because I don't see that the story really needs it.

Adam in particular reminds me of every "theobro" on Twitter (I'm not calling it what you want me to, El*n). Basically a dudebro coopting his supposed salvation to flex in an often misogynistic way, who doesn't realize that he has absolutely no love in him and therefore is actually a worse human being than everyone he condemns on the regular.

(Which is kind of why I'm expecting Adam to wake up in hell next season...)

Think red hats. And Mark Driscoll. And, I have a list of pastors. Sigh. They advocate for how "simple" Christianity is, except they themselves make it ridiculously complicated and don't even examine what they suppose is "simple" if it requires them to take the planks out of their own eyes. "Shallow" is a better description of what they actually preach.

But what sends people to hell or heaven anyways?

Eschatology and Atonement Theory

Hazbin Hotel combines a lot of theories, throwing not only the idea of a physical hell (albeit mixed with Dante's idea of what hell is the Inferno, but to be fair a lot of the church has adopted that idea too) but the idea of annihilation, which HH calls "extermination."

See, in Christianity, there's a lot of debate about hell. Like, since 2000 years ago. The reason is because a lot of Bible verses seem to indicate hell, but others indicate the eventual redemption and salvation of absolutely everything in the universe, so you have Christian universalism tracing itself back just as long. But, setting aside universalism, people who do believe in hell tend to fall into one of two camps:

Physical hell, aka suffering for eternity, or annihilation: the idea that souls that aren't saved end up annihilated, or snuffed from existence. HH combines both of them, wherein everyone lives in hell but then every so often heaven "exterminates" a certain number of sinners.

And then you also have Catholic purgatory, which is also adapted in HH in that... for most Christians, physical hell doesn't offer the ability to redeem yourself. Chance over, you're dead. But, Catholic Christianity, which draws on ideas of praying for the dead, has the idea that people can improve themselves or be prayed out of it and into heaven. This seems to be somewhat similar to the idea of Charlie's hotel, in that sinners can improve, redeem themselves, and rise to heaven.

And, I mean, it's already kinda worked. Sir Pentious acted out Jesus' words: Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).

But anyways, the branch of theology that deals with the afterlife is eschatology. And Hazbin Hotel takes on a related form of theology as well, a type of theology I've only seen covered in stories once before (The House in Fata Morgana): atonement theory.

Atonement theory is something I remember well from my theology 101 class, as in I remember sitting with a friend and her turning to me and being like, "okay, so we know Jesus' death and resurrection give us eternal life, but we have no idea how or why?" To which the answer was "basically, yeah."

Most of the white, American evangelical church is very "penal substitutionary atonement," but the reality is that this theory has only been popular for the past few hundred years. It's also, imo, somewhat scripturally unsound. But there are a lot of other theories, and sometimes the theories overlap. Here's a fairly decent summary. (I'm in general a believer in Christus Victor.)

So how does atonement theory tie into Hazbin Hotel? Well, essentially the scene where Charlie and Vaggie are debating with Emily, Sera, Adam, Lute, and others in heaven is them going over various atonement theories and realizing that they actually know nothing at all. How does one get to heaven? How is one saved? They don't know.

Sera criticizing Emily for asking questions was also very relatable, and I feel for Sera. She's genuinely scared but the truth will set you free, Sera. John 8:32. Anyways, the point is like... the angels are an organized religion, an evangelical church, that preaches about simplicity but mistakes shallowness for simplicity and discourages depth and discovery.

Anyways, the whole crux of theological study and atonement theories is that they should promote humility. We don't know for certain on this side of the curtain. That's okay. So what do we have to guide us?

Love. After all, God is love (1 John 4:8).

Charlie is Jesus

"Why would you endanger your immortal life for these sinners?"

Adam, the absolute worst, says the above to Charlie in the finale.

I mean... look. That's literally the premise of Christianity. That the immortal son of God comes down to earth, lives with sinners, loves us, and dies to save us. However that happens. Charlie even responds:

"They're my family!"

In other words, she loves them. Yeah, sure, they're destined for extermination, but they are going to be exterminated over her dead body.

In a lot of branches of Christianity, and even in some creeds--though I'm going to give into my pet peeves here and state that it is NOT Scriptural and relies on the faulty assumption that God is bound by time, when I think God exists outside of it--state that Jesus descended into hell after his death and took all the souls of people who were saved prior to his coming to earth to heaven. Again, I think that's small-minded at best. But, the idea that Charlie is working among them to bring them to heaven is pretty reminiscent of this idea. And I don't hate it lol.

Charlie sees worth inherent in everyone, and no matter what they've done, thinks there's a future for them. Honestly we need people like her on this earth.

Angel Dust

Angel Dust is clearly my favorite character. Bite back your shock, I know (I have a type). But his name is also a fascinating multi-layered pun.

Angel is clearly foreshadowing his endgame. Let's be real, we all know Angel is ending up as an angel. And "angeldust" is of course a name for PCP, and considering Angel's drug habits, yeah.

But, dust also has another meaning to it. See, when Adam was created in Genesis 2:7, the words in Hebrew are "apar min ha'adamah," which is translated literally as "dust of the ground." So the dust is what creates Adam, literally "ground."

In other words, I very much expect Angel Dust to end up being foiled with Adam even more so. Adam might be the first man, but Angel is the first sinner working towards redemption. And let's be real, for all Angel's flaws, he's already a better person than Adam. And if there's any hope for Adam (not that I particularly care if there is but) it'd be through realizing that he and Angel aren't actually different after all. Conversely (and not necessarily mutually exclusively), Angel might serve as a more symbolic "adam" in that he becomes the person all sinners look to for hope. Which, y'know, since "the last Adam" is also a Scriptural term for Jesus...

And so it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being.” The last Adam became a life-giving spirit. (1 Corinthians 15:45).

I fully expect Angel's arc, alongside Charlie's, to bring life and redemption for everyone around them. Maybe, maybe even the dramatic "all" of Colossians 1:20 (which means, literally, all, everything, everywhere, in the entire universe).

Closing Thoughts

But honestly, regardless of how the story ends--besides that it will presumably end happily because HH is at its core feel-good despite being profane--season one at least has got good theology. Why? Because it's digging into the questions that theology is concerned with. It's digging into the ideas of human nature, of what it means to be a good person, of what it means to redeem oneself, of affirming how precious each individual human soul is.

It doesn't offer cheap answers, and it specifically calls out the white American evangelical church for how it purports to be simple but actually just confuses people and punishes them for things they can't help, that creates more stumbling blocks than it does shine a light. And it does it in a way that is scandalous. Offensive to many religious people.

But, y'know, Jesus was pretty scandalous too.

So I really love the story so far because it emphasizes what I find so beautiful about my religion, and criticizes the parts that have also hurt me. I don't think it's remotely aiming to be a Christian allegory or anything like that, and I don't at all think anyone has to be religious to enjoy it or gain the core message of it, but I do think that it's doing a hell of a lot more good in the world message-wise than most evangelical movies of the past 30 years.

#hazbin hotel #hamliet reviews #theology #christianity #charlie morningstar #jesus #angel dust #angel hazbin hotel

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profoundbondfanfic · 4 months ago

Note

Do you have any recs for Reallyyy long fics? Like 200-300k+ words? That isn't 91W... avoiding that one because I feel like it will hurt me... preferably fix-its? Oh and no a/b/o pls :) thanksss

Here are a few:

Angel's Wild by riseofthefallenone (Explicit, 389k words)

But that’s the whole reason he’s here, isn’t it? He’s not out here hunting Humans. He’s not even hunting deer, or bears, or anything else that featured in Bambi. He’s out here, freezing his nuts off every night, because he’s hunting Angels. Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right? That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.

Bitch Better Have My Money by Duckyboos (Explicit, 256k words)

How Dean Winchester - mechanic, shitty cook, single father - became the power behind the throne in one of the biggest crime syndicates in the Midwest.

Computer Safety Verse by followthattardis (Explicit, 232k words)

On the day of his 29th birthday, Dean receives an email from his old nemesis: Michael Milton, the guy who got him kicked out of college and stole his girlfriend. The email contains encoded images with top secret CIA/NSA intelligence – and now their only copy is in Dean’s brain. Both agencies send their best operatives – Castiel Novak and Victor Henriksen respectively – to handle their accidental asset and protect the invaluable data in his head. To justify their sudden appearance in Dean’s life, they adopt covers: Victor as Dean’s new co-worker and neighbor, Cas as his new boyfriend. Needless to say, Dean’s brother and his girlfriend are thrilled to see him in a relationship they believe to be real. Clearly, there’s no way this could go wrong.

Four Letter Word For Intercourse by bendingsignpost (Explicit, 228k words)

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties. What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right? (It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

Light me up by tricia_16 (Explicit, 218k words)

Five years after participating in a life-changing threesome with his then-girlfriend and her friend Cas, Dean's single, comfortably bisexual, and has everything he's ever wanted except for that special someone to share his life with. When tragedy strikes, he and Cas are reunited in an unexpected way, and a split-second decision entangles their lives in ways neither of them could have predicted…

Not Part of the Plan by Annie D (scaramouche) (Explicit, 337k words)

Castiel's spent most of his adult life keeping his head down and staying out of trouble. This is a deliberate choice on his part, because as a cousin of the King, he'd rather stay unimportant and forgotten. This changes abruptly when King Michael decides that he has a better use for Castiel: he is to be wed to a noble member of the neighboring Republic, as part of an agreement between their two nations. Castiel knows he has to obey, but that doesn't mean he won't rebel in what small ways he can. Unexpectedly, his actions end up having far-reaching consequences.

one million fires burning by dothraki_shieldmaiden (Explicit, 248k words)

Dean Winchester teaches three classes a day, tutors after school, and chairs the English Department for Lawrence High School. He does enough. Unfortunately, his boss doesn't feel the same and informs him that he has a new job: co-coaching the school's trivia team. His co-coach? None other than the school's golden boy, Castiel Milton. Who Dean can't stand, for various reasons, all of which are valid, thank you very much. And the fact that Dean can't stop talking about the stick up Cas's, sorry, Milton's ass? Completely irrelevant.

Redux by emmbrancsxx0 (Explicit, 386k words)

Dean Winchester is dead. For decades, he, along with Castiel and Sam, has led a peaceful afterlife in heaven. He has everything he’s ever wanted: a home, his family and friends surrounding him, and a relationship with Cas—and he’s bored as hell. Until, one day, Chuck escapes heaven’s lock up and begins capturing souls to regain power. To stop him, Jack sends Dean, Cas, and Sam back to Earth. After so long away from hunting, will they be able to once again find their place in the family business?

Talk Some Sense To Me (Kenopsia) by ImYourHoneyBee (Explicit, 244k words)

Scrambling to his knees Castiel hugs back, burying his face in Dean’s neck, breath coming in fast little pants against his skin. Dean closes his eyes and just breathes him in, barely able to believe that this is real. At any other time in his life, closing his eyes against a threat like Death would be an inexcusable lapse in his hunter’s judgement. Right now, he doesn’t give a single fuck. Death can reap him for all he cares, he’ll die knowing Cas is going to be ok. Alive. “I will see you soon, Dean,” Death tells him, that deliberate voice of his soft enough not to intrude on the intimacy of the moment, “Raincheck on that grilled cheese.” “Thank you,” Dean croaks, propping his chin up on Cas’s shoulder, unmindful of the tears trickling down his cheeks, “Thank you.”

The Closest Thing We Have To Magic by EllenOfOz, TrenchcoatBaby (Explicit, 221k words)

Dean Winchester is a graduate student at Stanford University’s School of the Occult. A naturally-talented mage but a lazy professor and student, he figures he’ll coast through his final year the way he always has: with charisma, charm, and a natural aptitude for magic. All that changes when his thesis advisor, Dr. Castiel Novak, turns out to be the strictest and most challenging educator on-campus. Unfortunately for Dean, the uptight professor is nearly his age and infuriatingly gorgeous. But Castiel is keeping a secret, a powerful talent that’s more a curse than a blessing when he’s targeted by seditious parts of magical society. Can Dean and Cas put aside their animosity—and undeniable chemistry—long enough to instill real change in the magical community? Or will sinister plots and hidden agendas keep them apart?

To Build a Home by intothesilentland (Mature, 383k words)

Twenty-three years of head-over-heels, devastating devotion and love, love, love for the man with bright eyes and dark hair. Fourteen years of friends, best friends, of always together. One moment of rejection. Nine years of apart. Nine years of heartbreak, nine years of continents away, of not speaking, of no acknowledgement, no interaction, no closure, no peace. No happiness. Nine years of Dean’s life entering motions, going through them, constant, cold and mechanic, like clockwork. Nine years of alone. God. Nine years. A lot has changed. And yet Dean still loves Cas just the same. Even if his heart hurts all kinds of different.

Under The Midnight Sun by NorthernSparrow (Explicit, 232k words)

Dean Winchester’s been camp manager of a science research station on the Alaskan tundra for thirteen years. Dean likes his job; fixing the camp trucks, troubleshooting the generators, keeping clueless undergrads and NSF bigwigs from walking into grizzly bears or getting lost in snowstorms — it’s all in a day’s work. It keeps him pretty busy, and this year his brother Sam's visiting too, so he's even busier. So it’s really not any of Dean’s business when some weirdo antisocial ornithologist sets up a tent a few miles away, a dark-haired blue-eyed guy who’s doing a “very long-term" study on birds or wings or something, and who never, ever takes off his big lumpy backpack. But then the new guy starts dropping by camp for coffee and… well, he’s not officially part of camp; he's not Dean’s responsibility; he’s really not Dean’s problem at all, but when a strange blizzard comes sweeping in, Dean gets worried and goes to check. Thing is, Dean's spent years in the sweeping vistas of the Arctic. He knows all about the midnight sun and the northern lights, the ice caves and avalanches, the rough-and-ready Haul Road truckers and the even rougher-and-readier wild animals. But even so, what he finds is much more than he bargained for.

With Interest by everandanon (Explicit, 296k words)

Eighteen, bored, and not quite able to turn down the money, Cas agrees to an ill-advised bet, and Dean's heart isn't the only one that gets broken. Eleven years later, grieving his twin brother and struggling to take care of his niece, Cas finally returns home — only to meet Dean again and discover that the boy he left behind has grown up a lot. And now, Dean seems to have every intention of getting him back — with interest.

You can also check our >100k tag for all the longer fics we rec.

#asks #group rec #>100k

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sunlightandsuffering · 4 months ago

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I'm not sure if this is long enough for me to bother posting it as a chapter, BUT MORE SACRILEGE FOR THE PPL AND BC THEY'RE SO CUTE AND UNHINGED !!

Does Eren feel great about corrupting the local church’s youth group leader and shining example of chastity? No, not really, in fact, his mother would probably murder him for it if she ever found out.

But in the meantime, he’s sure stories of his ‘new girlfriend’ and possible marriage prospect will mollify her.

Or at least he hopes so, but regardless, that is the least of Eren’s problems. His biggest problem is the pain in the ass cadet he’s been assigned as a partner for the last week and a half of Armin’s paternity leave and said local churchgoing sweetheart’s ex-boyfriend. All in all, Eren has embroiled himself in a plot quite fitting for the church. He can see the headline now, ‘Local Cop Seduces Innocent Church Girl, Leaves Hopeful Cadet Destitute’.

“I hate him,” Jean is muttering darkly from Armin’s desk across from him, fidgeting with his pen in agitation. If only Jean knew that Eren is the ‘him’ he’s referring to. Instead, he’s simply been subjected to a singular break up text, and several quotes about the bible and forgiveness splashed across Mikasa’s instagram story.

If Eren weren’t in the middle of it he’d find the entire plot amusing, but he doesn’t want Jean to become more irritating than he already is.

The rhythmic click, click, click of Jean’s pen clicking is what finally sets Eren over the edge. “Leave your personal shit at home, Kirstchein, we have a job to do and that paperwork isn’t going to complete itself.” Jean looks like a kicked puppy as he turns back towards his paperwork, appropriately chastised by his superior, and for a split second Eren almost feels bad for the man.

But then Mikasa sends him a nude, and he doesn’t feel so bad for the asshole anymore.

Shoving his phone into one of the many deep pockets of his standard-issue cargo pants Eren stands up, imposing compared the heartbroken cadet in front of him.

“We have shit to do Kirschtein, we’ve got a drug bust in an hour and you’re fucking moping. Get it together.”

Jean glowers for a moment before booting up his now sleeping computer again and Eren sighs, heading towards the break room to grab a snack, he truly does not get paid enough for this shit.

How old is he? Seventeen? Because that’s the kind of teenaged nonsense he’s dealing with from his cadet, it’s ridiculous. He grumbles mostly to himself as he snatches a pre-packaged rice krispy treat from the communal bowl on the counter, this is how bad it is, he’s actually fucking eating carbs and sugary ones at that. Whereas Eren is typically infamous for following his regimented diet, continually topping the leaderboards at every physical training camp, Jean’s drama has stressed him out so much that he’s actually fucking eating sugar.

Eren tears the blue wrapper apart with his teeth before ripping into the sweet treat with dark intent, stupid fucking cadets and overdramatic church girls. Stocking back into the main office space Eren promises himself no more bullshit, from here one it’s police work only. He doesn’t get paid enough to deal with this shit on the job. He’s about to give Jean another lecture, hoping this time it’ll stick, but as he approaches their desk clump he finds Jean on his phone, a looking of absolute betrayal on his face. “Jean what the fuck are you looking at I thought I said–” Eren snatches the phone from his hands only to find Mikasa’s god-damned Instagram story. The cute little icon of her face lighting up the corner of the screen along with a large pink background and some sort of cursive looking font splashed across the screen. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

James 1:5

Fuck. The pink image switches as the story runs out, and suddenly the screen is black, lit up with pink writing as another bible verse is proudly proclaimed across her story.

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalms 37:4

The screen changes again and Eren groans, handing the phone back to Jean who can only be describes as looking utterly betrayed. His pain in the ass little churchgoer has been posting passive-aggressive bible verses on her story all morning from the looks of it, splashes across her social media in varying shades of pink.

Eren checks his own phone curiously, only to find there’s another notification from said little churchgoer, and from the looks of it, it’s probably another nude.

God what the fuck has he gotten himself into. “I’m sorry Eren, I just - I can’t, we were together for four years! She was going to give me her virginity, we were going to be each other’s firsts.” Eren winces at that particular comment, because he’d taken Mikasa’s virginity rather spiritedly on the altar of their church, had actually fucked the lord right out of her he’d like to think. Although, judging by the mess of bible verses painted across her social media, there’s at least a little bit of religious insanity left in her. “I have to make a call,” Eren tells Jean abruptly, leaving the cadet to wallow, “Get your shit together by the time I come back.”

Eren barely makes it outside the precinct before he’s holding the phone to his ear, Mikasa’s number dialed already and ringing insistently.

She answers on the third ring, sounding breathless, “Eren–” “The bible verses Mikasa? Really?” He’s utterly exasperated and he’s sure she can tell by the way she sighs on the other end of the line, “I just think it’s important that the rest of my community knows that breaking up with Jean was God’s will Eren.” “Mikasa I fucked you on the altar okay, that wasn’t God’s will, I was horny and that was good fucking weed.” He can practically feel her scowl on the other end of the line, “God never gives us more than we can handle Eren, and now I have my ring, it was all his will. The congregation just needs to understand that, and so does my youth group.”

“You couldn’t just tell them you found someone else?”

Mikasa gasps in affront over the line, “He gave me a promise ring Eren, it’s highly frowned upon within the community to rescind commitment so easily.”

“You rescinded it pretty easily for me.”

“Because I knew God sent you to me, to put me on the right path.” “You’re absolutely unhinged, you know that, right?” There's silence for a moment, and then there's a breathier quality to her voice as she taunts him,“I’m also not wearing panties.”

“Did God tell you not to?” Eren quips right back, and Mikasa chuckles throatily on the other end of the line, “Can you come home on your lunch break?”

Eren glances at the clock, cursing at the time, he’s spent far too long talking to his pain in the ass girlfriend. “No, I have to get back now, stop posting bible verses on your story and keep looking at your other university options Mika, I want you to get in on time.” At this, he can feel her wilt through the phone, she’s been stressed as hell since her falling out with her parents and subsequent break up with Jean. As a consequence she no longer has a full ride scholarship to Shiganshina bible college and she’s been stressed about schooling ever since. Not that Eren had any desire to encourage that particular path of schooling, but he doesn’t want to derail her entire life, doesn’t want to be the mistake she looks back on as the reason she doesn’t have a career or didn’t go to college.

Since accidentally stealing Jean’s girlfriend Eren has found he more than cares about the religious spitfire, might even love her, just a little. She may be unhinged as all hell, and devout to the point of delusion, but at heart, she’s a good person, if not a brat. His girlfriend had just been a little… misguided.

She’d worked hard to get into nursing school, and Eren will be damned if he’s the reason she doesn’t get into another one. “Baby,” He intones and Mikasa sighs loudly, “Fine, I’ll work on my cover letter again.” He catches himself as a smile quirks at his lips, “Stop sending me nudes and send me the rough draft, I’ll look at it after my drug bust.” “Oh my God, you’re so boring.” “Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain Mikasa,” He sing songs, and she growls on the other end of the line before hanging up. Maybe God really doesn’t give people more than they can handle, who is to say? Whatever, Eren doesn’t believe in any of that bullshit anyway. He turns back towards the precinct, phone tucked into his pants, “Kirschtein you’d better not still be mooning over that crazy religious nut you call an ex-girlfriend.”

He is so totally going to hell.

She shows up at around dinner time, eight hours into his twelve-hour shift, and firmly destroying any hopes of having a peaceful Wednesday night catching up on paperwork.

She’s balanced delicately on the edge of his desk, glowering at Jean like he’s the one who’s wronged her.

And even at eleven on a Wednesday night, she’s scantily clad, dressed in ripped jeans and a low cut scoop-neck sweater that catches Eren’s attention immediately. Because just like the first time he met her, her cleavage is eye-catching, his girlfriend’s tits are the stuff of wet dreams, the kind of breasts you show to plastic surgeons as inspo pics.

And Jean is fucking staring at them.

Was Mikasa Jean’s girlfriend first? Yes, yes she definitely was, and he has no doubt that despite her previous virginal status that Jean has ample experience with her rack. Doesn’t stop Eren from being pissed off that his douche canoe cadet is staring at his girlfriend’s rack.

Jean is looking at her with simply too much interest, lust shining in his eyes as he looks her up and down, unable to look away from the plump milky tops of her breasts.

Eren won’t have it.

They’re arguing as he approaches them, half-assed insults on Jean’s part and scathing words from Mikasa that have Eren biting back a grin.

“You’re a boy Jean, I needed a man, and God finally sent him to me.” This is Eren’s cue to make an entrance, and he sure does, barely sparing Jean a glance, instead wrapping a hand around Mikasa’s waist, blocking Jean’s view of her lithe little body. Without an ounce of hesitation, Eren dips his head into a low bow, worshipful as he places a kiss on each breast, wet, sloppy and leaving a sheen of saliva in his wake. Mikasa squeaks at the contact, not expecting the touch, and at her sweet little noise he can’t help but press one more loving kiss to the creamy flesh, his hands skating up over her waist to give her beautiful tits a squeeze. It’s quick, fleeting, just enough to make her smile turn dopey, eyes fogging over with desire, and he’s sure her sweet nipples are hard already, wants nothing more than to kiss her tits all day, but alas he has things to do. He completes his greeting with a kiss to her lips, long and slow with plenty of tongue, a hello that has Mikasa sighing into his mouth, melting in his arms. When he finally pulls back she is utterly dazed, his sweet little church girl the picture of debauchery, lips swollen with his kisses, and her sweater now slightly askew. Eren doesn’t acknowledge Jean at all as he greets her, one last squeeze to her hip as he gets her settled against his desk, “Hi baby.” This is what finally causes Jean to explode.

“Baby? Mikasa this is the man you’re dating?” Eren glances back at him curiously, lying through his teeth as he asks, “Problem Kirschtein?” As if he didn’t steal the little spitfire right out from under his useless cadet.

Mikasa continues to say nothing, looking up at Eren adoringly and finally Jean snaps, gesturing towards the little pixie in his arms, “Eren, this is my ex-girlfriend.” “The one who dumped you for a better guy?” Jean growls in irritation, “That’s the one.”

Eren shrugs, pressing his cheek against the soft strands of her hair, inhaling her sweet vanilla scent, “Oops.” Jean looks like he’s about to commit murder in the middle of the precinct but Eren is unconcerned, only tugs Mikasa a little bit closer, “Sorry cadet, it just kind of happened.”

“How?” Jean grits out and Mikasa answers for him this time, snapping out of her kiss-induced daze, “Jean I told you I wasn’t feeling fulfilled in our relationship, it wasn’t what the lord wanted for me. But Eren–” She turns to look up at him lovingly, “He’s what I need, I just know it.”

“What exactly is it that you need that I can’t provide, Mikasa?” A firm fucking hand that’s what but Eren refrains from that particular comment, knowing it will start world war three when he would much rather leave in a few hours.

Mikasa reaches out at that, taking Jean’s hand, looking up at him so seriously, Eren would almost think that God was speaking through her, if he believed in God that is. “Guidance,” She tells Jean firmly, and Eren has to hold back a laugh because yeah, sexual guidance maybe, how the fuck did he end up in bed with this crazy little lunatic?

“What about our pastor, what about our parents–” “Shh,” Mikasa quiets Jean, “My decision has been made, and I made it in the eyes of the lord,” she spares a glance back at Eren that secretive little smile on her face, and he almost groans, because they sure did fucking make that decision in the eyes of the lord, right in front of his fucking salad actually, front and centre, no escape.

Jean is looking at them both in complete and utter affront, a vein standing out prominently on his forehead, “Adultery is a sin you know.” Mikasa scoffs, “So is pride Jean, now if you would be so kind as to swallow yours I would like to spend the last ten minutes of my fiancée’s break with him.” This proves to be the wrong thing to say because Jean gasps, “There’s no way he’s going to marry you Mikasa, Officer Yeager doesn’t seem like the committed type.”

Mikasa levels a murderous glare at his cadet and Eren continues to enjoy the show, smoothing a hand over her hip to keep the little heathen from leaping over their desks to claw his eyes out. “We’ve already set a date,” Mikasa tells him primly, before turning her back to his cadet dismissively. She’s pouting now as she looks up at him, her hand clutched in the folds of his uniform just a little too tightly for her to be totally okay.

Eren presses a light kiss to her forehead before leaning down to her ear, a playful nip to the lobe before he suggests they take a breather, “You wanna hang out in my patrol car for the rest of my break.” She nods, leaning into him a little more, pressing the full weight of her delicate little body against him, “Yeah, I’d like that.” Eren leads her out by the elbow, Jean still fuming behind them, and fuck he knows exactly what he’s going to have to deal with later and it’s not good.

But something occurs to him as they edge out the doors of the precinct, keys jingling in his hand, “Mikasa, baby?” “Yeah?” She turns back, the picture-perfect scene of beauty, her hair falling in silky waves down her back, stunning as ever with that pretty face, and her tits trying to steal all his attention. “Did the Lord tell you to wear panties with that little outfit?” A mischievous smile blooms on her face before she’s sprinting towards his car, her reply caught in the wind of the night, “No!”

Fucking bratty church girls, now he has to fuck her in his patrol car, it’s just good sense.

#lys's drabbles

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tookthe-405 · 6 months ago

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VBS

Chapter 2 (part 2)

Love me Anyway ~Chappell roan

DAILY CLICK🇵🇸 DONATE ON

LINKS🍉🍉 GOFUND.ME!

rebel!ellie x fem!reader

a/n: i just really wanted to show what happens after the "prank"

summary: you grew up religious without questions adn in summer you would get send to vacation bible school. The camp felt like prison to you, until a very interesting girl appeared.

The night was very stressful, for you and for Ellie. While you couldn't sleep because guilt was eating you up from the inside, Ellie couldn't sleep because because the excitement of seeing the pastor's face kept her brain up. You'd be lying if you said you didn't regret anything, because you do. Just not enough to tell anyone.

If you could have ratted out Ellie, everyone would know that it was done out of manipulation, even if that's really not the case.

Ellie isn't manipulating you, you're just under her spell. And you're pretty sure she doesn't know anything about it, so how manipulative can it be?

This morning you got up earlier than everyone else. you hardly slept at all and only listened your heartbeat getting faster and faster. Around 4 a.m. you dozed off, but it was more of an uncomfortable half-sleep. You looked at yourself in the mirror and thought about the many years before, where you would´ve been scared of Ellie, afraid of being thrown out of camp and losing the respect of the church.

That fear still exists, but you no longer felt it in your blood, because no matter what happened you would find a place, maybe even the one where you belong. It would also be nice if Ellie would be part of this place.

After the sermon in the morning, buses arrived at the youth hostel to take you to the small town that was half an hour away. Hood River was a small town in Oregon and you visit it at least twice a year to talk to people about God. In fact, there are already many believers there, but Pastor Toby is never really satisfied with this small town, as if he has a private dispute with the pretty place.

You were still outside and waiting for the bus with Ellie and the others, when you saw the many group leader loading the candied apples into a separate car. The reality of the prank hit you again.

But Ellie calmed you down and told you and the girls about the many crazy pranks that the middle school students had pulled at her school.

She seemed to be fitting into the group more and more, changing parts and information about herself to fit into the picture and it made you a little sad to know it. Having to watch it.

Ellie is great exactly the way she is, she shouldn't have to change. In no world she should ever feel out of place.

After the trip, the organization started. The town is a bit big, but you already know where Christians live and you only go to the houses where non-religious people opened the door last year, or closed it again very quickly.

"We're taking over the lover lane and we´ll just move forward to the eugene street," announces Louisa, who has completely prepared for today.

She goes ahead with a city map and lots of candied apples in her cloth bag.

"Ellie, I have such a bad feeling about this"

"It's all good, we haven't been anywhere yet."

When you arrived on the quiet street, the mid-20-year-old explained that it would be smarter if everyone answered the doors one at a time, as it would be quicker that way.

"Does everyone know their sayings and verses?" Sometimes, Hazel seems more professional than Louisa herself.

"Yes Hazel, how dare we forget it" ellie sighs

the curly haired girl almost hisses at Ellie.

"We'll meet everyone here again when you're done with your houses."

You all split up into parts and the thought of being separated from Ellie makes you incredibly nervous.

The first house is house number 10.

The house itself looks peaceful. Blue painted, with the American flag proudly hoisted and a car parked in front yard.

You go through all the steps again.

ask if they believe in the lord

if not, try to demonstrate that god can help in every situation

help through bible verses

distribute the message of the church

deliver the (poisoned) apples

Great.

Your fist hits the brown wooden door, not too quietly and not too loud. You could see Ellie grinning in front of you and talking about God whether she really meant it or not.

“Hello?”

you quickly put on a smile.

“Hello, sorry to bother you, I’m part of the community a little further south of here and wanted to ask if you’ve already found your way to jesus?"

You notice that Christians always talk in "Not yet" Terms.

As if we expect every person to find god one day, and the ones that haven´t already are just behind in life.

How annoying it must be to have a stranger to dictate your future.

"ok sweetie i have, but i still worry daily"

That suprises you, normaly the answer is just yes or no. But this lady is ready for a whole conversation on her foot step.

"What kind of worries?"

"i always did what god told me to do and i think i did a good job, but my poor son just doesn´t follow him. I swear i thaught him better! Now he has children who don´t belive and follow jesus path and i dont want them to go to hell!"

The older woman sighs sadly, at the edge of tears.

You´re not really sure what to say to her.

"well i´m positive that god will show himself to every human at some point. Maybe that just hasn´t happened to you family yet?"

The woman turns back slightly and screams a boys name into the house.

"im sorry young lady, but my grandchild is over for the summer and i really want him to hear this"

She squeals in delight, but your blood freezes. It feels as if the child's entire future is in your hands and you briefly thought about handing out the apple now so that she would just throw you out.

"Oh God, this child! Please come in, miss."

That's not on your list of things to do, but something makes your legs wander in anyway.

You can hardly say no now.

"Just sit down, sweetie, I'll get him out of the garden for a moment."

You nod to her and turn your head around the room. Everything looks very… old and religious.

Out of respect, you take off your shoes in the hallway and see that the old woman has slippers just like your grandparents. Large, heavy leather slippers.

The house was definitely old and you wonder if maybe her husband built it. The wallpaper is new, or at least in very good condition, but the old wood on the door frame shows the true age of the house.

You hesitantly sit down on an old chair at the round dining table and peek into the old woman´s kitchen.

Overall, a beautiful house, made for a child's summer, but looks can be deceiving.

You're just staring at the little cross on the wall. For a moment you feel very watched, but you shake the anxious thoughts out of your mind and concentrate again on the here and now.

"Come on! It won't take long, darling."

A young boy sits down on the opposite end of the table, probably not older than 10.

He doesn't feel like being here. Ellie would like him.

You quickly unpack your little Bible and introduce yourself to the boy. He doesn't say anything and just stares at you silently.

His grandma snorts. "unbelieveble, his name is Marcus"

You nod slowly and realize how uncomfortable this situation is.

How are you supposed to convince Marcus, who would rather play outside, to believe in God? The fuck thinks his grandma who you are.

"Well Marcus, your grandma wanted me to tell you about how much God loves you and how much he wants you to be with him at the end of your life-"

"I don't care"

"what"

"I don't want to hear it, grandma!"

His grandmother looks at you forgivingly, but you can also see a desperate pleading.

"Young man-"

"What is that?"

You follow his, finger pointing to the floor where the basket full of garnished apples lies.

"Oh that-"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Now would actually be a good time to die, or at least to be dragged out of this house, by someone who finally realized how cursed this whole mission was from the start

"cool! can i have one"

Marcus suddenly seemed to have found his concentration and respect again. His grandmother also looks at you expectantly.

"Sure."

you slowly take out a wrapped apple, silently hoping that Ellie will breaks into the building and tells you that it's all over. You hand him the apple on a stick and just hope that he isn't hungry yet.

"What the dear lady wants to say is that you should give the lord a chance. He loves you very much and absolutely doesn't want you to end up in eternal fire for-."

You nod very slowly and stare at that damn apple. Poor Marcus. The old woman drives forward.

"What your father taught you is-"

The boy bites into the apple with a grin and it takes exactly 2 seconds until he spits it out again.

You grimace with a sigh.

"Fuck"

"excuse you!"

The Grandma stares at you in disbelief, you worry for a moment whether her old googly eyes might fall out and you imagine how she looks at her grandson like that, every day when he forgets to say amen at the end of a prayer.

Luckily for you, he also starts crying and you probably underestimated his age a bit, or he's just way too dramatic

"what's wrong honey?"

"um i need to go, have a good day"

like a reflex you get up, put your church's contact details on the table and run down the narrow, old but young hallway, put your shoes back on and run out of the house.

Summer air blows through your hair. You seem to have lost all control over your legs because you run and run and run, even when the American flag is nothing more than a small mixture of red, white and blue.

For some reason you suddenly think about a summer with oranges and ellie, another world who is so possible but yet so far away from reality, it almost makes you cry.

The many colors of the houses fly past you and you just grab your bag tighter, so that those shitty apples don't fall out and someone else has to eat them.

You don't even notice where you are until you find the roundabout who lead to the many streets.

"God.." You take a breath over and over again, resting your arms on your knees, but your lungs seem to be allergic to air because it feels like nothing is getting in.

"Hey…"

A hand on your shoulder and you jump back, a small scream leaving your lips, worried that the old lady might have followed you.

Red hair, green eyes and freckles.

Your hand is on your chest and you are breathing deeply and quickly.

Your eyes eat each other up and you are sure that you have never had such an intimate relationship with anyone else in the world.

Thank you so much for being here, for playing a role in my life and for not just being a nameless girl.

She looks at you, the sweat on your forehead and your loose shoes that you probably didn't even tie.

God, does she even know how precious she is to you?

"You scared me"

"I noticed, sorry…"

After a few moments you feel like there was enough eye contact, even though you're pushing for more, so you look away. Pay attention to anything else, the birds in the background, the lake that you can almost see from here or all those American flags.

"Sit down first, you're about to fall over"

Ellie gently grabs your hand. Your hands aren't really linked, she just grabs yours and leads you both to the side of the street, to a small bench.

"It worked, by the way. The apples taste really bad."

Ellie chuckles next to you and lets go of your hand, why does she have to do that?

"I know, a guy almost set his dog on me when he tried one. He was such a disgusting creep, who probably hasn’t showered in days and he was standing in front of me in my bathrobe."

That makes you laugh.

"Those are always the worst. They made little boy cry… he was really mean, but I still feel kinda bad. He didn’t want to listen to anything I said about god”

"Funny guy" Ellie replies and you smile shamelessly at her from the side.

Then she clears her throat and looks forward again.

"I'm sorry if I… dragged you into this. I didn't mean to force you to do anything."

You're now holding her hand, that's resting on her knee.

"You didn't force me to do anything Ellie, you gave me something I always wanted as a child"

"To make a boy cry?"

“Freedom,” you correct her, grinning.

She smiles shyly back and you watch intently as her cheeks become redder and redder. How beautiful this life is!

"Hey guys!"

as quickly as it happened, you take your hand away again and even Ellie slips a little further away from you, still red.

Kate walks down the street towards you with a weak body.

"There's something wrong with these apples"

Thanks for reading and for all the sweet comments and reposts!! Somehow I can’t comment anywhere, not even in my own posts and tumblr won’t help me fix this 😭

by the way, i realised that "tobi" (the pastors name) is fucking german and that in english its toby, so i changed that so sorry guys.

But it means "god is good" which i find pretty fitting

But a biggg thank you to anyone who reads and enjoys my story’s it means a lot to me🫶🫶

Don’t forget to interact with the links!!!!

Taglist: @elliewilliamgfooc @bready101 @a-little-bit-of-everybody @vqxen @hersuniverse @nelzooo @shiimer @bellaramseysgirlfriend @sonthingwithl @vi0lentb3rry @elliewilliamsblunt @be3flow3r @adelaide013 @abbysbraids @liasxeatt @jungkook-37

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ilovewritingsm · 2 months ago

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Omg please please pleaseeeeeee write something with Thomas Hewitt I’ve been rewatching tcm the beginning. Could it be something playing on how he was raised “a good Christian boy” other than ya know….. killing people and ya know Luda Mae always told him not to sin….

anyway ignore my weird brain but if ya can

First time posting my writing. I'm so nervous 😭

Tws!!: slightly suggestive, mentions of bulges, kidnapping, religion, mentions canablism and killing (obv), Tommy feeling guilty about being intimate

Thomas Hewitt Hc's:

• He had always followed the Bible and its teachings, Luda Mae had been teaching him about the Bible since the day she took him in.

• He never sinned (except canablism and murder...) he wouldn't dare lie to his family or disobey them. It's a sin!

• He didn't really experience many urges past puberty. He suppressed them as much as possible. Ignoring how his body begged his hand to just slip past the hem of his old tattered pants.

• that is ofcourse until he saw you.

• He tried his best to make sense of it just telling himself that it was nothing more than a small crush.

• But he knew that was a lie. He could hardly stop his staring at you. In his mind he was being bad for having these feelings.

• He felt so guilty for even thinking of kissing you. He'd have to get married first!

• once you guys finally began to date (he kidnapped you and your friends) his urges only grew stronger.

• Occasionally running a finger down your lips, upset you were still so scared of him. :(

• after a few months it'd became apparent that you weren't leaving anytime soon. What better to do than entertain him and try your best to gain him and his family's trust.

• small things like talking a little to him or maybe not flinching every time he touched you. He was ecstatic

• But ofcourse anytime you guys held hands or touched he felt a little guilty or like he was betraying his family :((

• Until the guilt got to him and he didn't touch you or hold hands. Of course you asked him about it. And he showed you the Bible pointing out certain verses while nervously playing with his hands

• He hesitantly gives slightly sloppy kisses through his mask and ... oh.. there's something hard pressing into your stomach...

• You thankfully understood him and started to explain that holding hands (and occasionally kissing) isn't bad without teling him his religion is wrong or trying to convince maybe confess that you like him too

• He feels comfortable and calms down asking a few questions (by writing them down). I mean, of course he's a little skeptical, this is what he's been taught his whole life. Once he fully understands he completely relaxes.

•He's so happy that you like him back even if it's probably just stock Holm syndrome he hugs you so tight that you swear you could almost hear your spine crack.

(Please let me know how I did! I wanted to make it a little fluffy with him getting comfortable being affectionate/ intimate with the reader I hope that's what you were asking me for 😭. I appreciate you sending in a ask!)

#thomas hewitt #suggestive #new writer boost #tw: religious themes #cutie patootie #slashers #tcm #texas chainsaw massacre #short writing #hcs

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richiesnotaloserguyscmon · 6 months ago

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My favourite parts of…

WORKIN BOYS GIRLS A NEW MUSICAL

As I watch it a second time…

Football-But-For-Girls

Hidgens’ six boyfriends

Jeff looking like Colonel Sanders if he was a stressed movie critic

A shameless gender swap

“Alright boys-“ “Girls.” “Right right right, ALRIGHT BOYS!”

Hailey just being Angela in the Hatchetfield Universe

Cameos of my faves: Ted, Richie, Grace and Linda

Ruth being adorable but also a perverted creep

“Do you… want to direct… my show?…”

Ruth finally getting her acting debut… and fucking it up entirely

The fact that there was a whole song about balls

The entire rehearsal montage

“I think all the actresses are dead.” “Good.”

Richie and Grace going to watch the show for their friend… but no sign of Pete? :( not even Nick’s Abstinence Camp Pete??? :((

Hidgens’ trauma dumping and then saying it’s lesser than his failed show

“Those tight little college boys with their long legs and those hourglass figures.” *Enter Ted absolutely dying of laughter.*

LINDA LINDA LINDA and her little look to Gerald made me cry

Ted seeing a show he thinks are about hookers is so Ted even after all the character development he’s had in every show

Richie definitely went for a more natural look

Curt’s Cop and Miss Mulberry at the theatre together

MARIA’S VOCALS

“Fuck me with a goal post.” I will be saying that every day now

BRYCE MY WIFE

Jon as Greg

To be honest any of Jon’s characters just send me into a spiral

Fucking transcendent

How can you play a corpse and still look good

DYLAN AS LEIGHTON?! WHAT?!

Grace reciting a verse from the bible before shooting the shit out of Henry

“I’ve decided to make some last minute… cuts.” 🤝 “I shot a Charlotte-ton!”

I love Hidge’s shitty puns

I love the idea that the whole audience thought it was an ironic statement on gender norms and then everyone is murdered

“ITS DISTRACTING!”

The wow after Grace shot him

I didn’t know whether to cry or be happy when Hidgens died… “A standing ovation” LIKE YOU CANT DO THAT TO ME?!

Linda clapping as everyone screams

The whole film was magnificent really

I think I did list the whole film 😭

#richieisnotaloserguyscmon #workin boys a new musical #workin boys #workin girls #starkid productions #starkid #henry hidgens #richie lipschitz #linda monroe #gerald monroe #ted spankoffski #grace chasity #stephanie lauter #bill woodward #jeff blim

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girlactionfigure · 3 months ago

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Debunking the antisemitic Talmud quotes meme promoted by @DanBilzerian and boosted by @RealCandaceO and her ilk

A thread.

Preface: None of this is new; most of these fake quotes originate from a couple of antisemitic German books that are over a hundred years old and they've been debunked over and over in many places. Sadly, most of them are not so accessible so I'll go over them myself.

As far as my credentials, I'm a Rabbi who is in his second decade teaching Talmud for a living. This is something that occupies a large part of my day.

It's truly an eye-rolling moment whenever I see these quoted. Let me show you why:

1) Soferim 15

Mistranslation + taken out of context.

In a discussion about generalities, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai said that even the best members of your enemy nation, you should kill in a time of war instead of having mercy on them. This is rooted in the exodus from Egypt:

It says that after the plagues, when the Jews were in the midst of the sea, they were pursued by Pharoh and the rest of the egyptians on chariots. Now, how could they have chariots if all of their animals died in a plague?

Those who feared G-d brought them inside as per Moshe.

So, they believed in the words of Moshe, they believed that G-d was sending those plagues on Egypt, and yet they still decided after seeing everything all the miracles they saw and knowing what they put the Jewish people through, to pursue them at sea in order to kill them.

This is why Rabbi Shimon says that, in a time of war, don't have mercy on 'the best' of your enemies but rather kill them. We can see from this that they might have been the best members of their society but they still ultimately wanted to go through with their murderous intents.

Yevamot 98a

Fake translation, and out of context.

There's a discussion about what happens when identical twin brothers converted, one marries a Jewish woman and he dies without having an heir: does his existing brother perform levirate marriage, or give her a form of divorce.

There's a whole debate about whether or not he's permitted to do a levirate marriage.

One of the arguments that is brought is that since there's so much licentiousness in the non-Jewishness nation at the time, we don't know who is anyone's father as such, we don't allow it.

To back this opinion, a verse from Ezekiel about the licentiousness of the Egyptians that compares their views on relationships with the way animals mate with each others without caring about who they mate with.

So, in no way does it say that "children of non-Jews are animals."

3) Bava Metzia 114b

Fake translation, and completely out of context.

In short, there's a discussion about the idea of ritual purity, and whether the corpse of a non-Jew renders you impure if you touch their grave or not. According to Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel, no. Here's why:

He quotes a verse in relation to ritual purity that says that only Jews are called "Adam."

Now, antisemites translate this as meaning man. Except, there are four terms that define man: Adam, Ish, Enosh and Gever. They all have different spiritual meanings.

So, Rabbi Shimon is not saying here that "non-Jews are not human", there's nothing about how non-Jews are beast at all mentioned there. In fact, the ones being compared to animals here are Jews (sheep).

4) Gad Shas 2:2

This is a fake quote. There's no such thing as Gad Shas.

In fact, both the Bible & Talmud prescribe lashes for a Jewish man who engages in relations with a non-Jewish girl whether for pleasure or "marriage" (such unions are not legally recognized as marriage).

5) Avodah Zara 36b

Fake translation and out of context.

Yes, non-Jewish girls are considered niddah from birth. So is the status of any non-Jewish woman who is unmarried as well. And married women for nearly half a month.

It has nothing to do with "filth" at all.

In fact, the reason why the Rabbis decreed that non-Jewish women are considered to be in a state of niddah from birth is to make it an even worse punishment if a Jew were to stay and have relations with one of them.

The Torah is really big into not intermarriage. Lots of verses.

6) Sanhedrin 54b

Fake translation & wildly out of context.

This is a discussion specifically about *forbidden relationships* and whether it makes you susceptible to the death penalty. What's debated here is whether a person who engages in such horrible actions is put to death.

The Sages determined that before the age of 9, children are completely unaware & don't understand what relations are. Between the ages of 9 & 13, while they do understand, they are not considered guilty whether passive or active.

The whole discussion is about their victimizer.

So here, the Jewish that is codified is that if a man forces someone between the ages of 9 & 13 to engage with him, that person gets the death penalty (and his victim does not) and under the age of 9, he does not get the death penalty but rather he gets lashes in public.

The fact that he gets lashes for it instead of the death penalty doesn't mean that it's less than a crime. It's because it's considered something other than having relations, because a child that age is unable to understand what is happening and as such it's a different crime.

For the record, Halacha also permits you to straight up kill this victmizer if you catch him in the act and it's necessary to stop, so it's not like he's being protected or we don't believe his crime is not something heinous.

7) Sanhedrin 58b

Fake translation

The opinion of Rabbi Chanina is that if a non-Jew strikes a Jew, he is worthy of receiving the death penalty, as we saw when an Egyptian struck a Jew and Moshe killed him.

Jewish law, however, says that a non-Jew is not executed for this.

This is why so many of these are infuriating. This is one opinion talking about how someone "ought to" get something for doing something, but somehow it becomes transformed as "This is what Judaism believes."

8) Sanhedrin 57a

Fake translation, plus out of context.

Here, there is a whole discussion about the 7 Laws of Noach and whether a non-Jew who transgresses them is liable to the death penalty or not.

Here the Talmud states that laws against murder are stronger for non-Jews.

As is codified in Halacha, a non-Jew who kills a fetus for example is going to be put to death, while it might not be the case for a Jew depending on the case. Same if he killed someone who was dying, or put them in a situation where they died indirectly because of him.

So, if a non-Jew hired a hitman, locked someone and left them to starve to death or pushed them in front of a lion, they will be put to death while a Jew might not be in this situation.

That doesn't mean that a Jew is allowed to do such a thing; the Jew will in fact be punished.

The only distinction here is that "7 mitsvot you can't violate, you can do whatever you want but otherwise you deserve the death penalty if you violate them."

Think of it like Adam in the Garden being told he has one thing to do, and one thing only. Breaking it is much worse.

Since for Jews there are 613, there are more punishments than just the death penalty/nothing, which means that in certain cases, a Jew might be punished with lashes or spend the rest of his life in prison versus being put to death. Doesn't mean that non-Jewish lives don't matter.

9) Tosfot Yevamot 84b

Fake quote.

I mean, I went through the Tosafot on that page twice and there's absolutely nothing even close.

It's also confusing, because why with a dog specifically? That has no meaning to us, dogs aren't seen as particularly bad in Judaism.

10) Bava Metzia 24a

Out of context.

This is the closest one to being accurate, and yet at the same time wildly out of context. We start by discussing a case where a man saves a lost object from a wild animal, at sea, the flooding of a river, or finds it in a public place.

There's a debate: did the owner despair of finding the object and, as a result, it is considered ownerless so the person who saved it is permitted to keep it, or does it still belong to his original owner who still hopes to retrieve it eventually.

"Is the item owned or ownerless?" is the basic gist, and the answer is that if you find it in a place where it's a majority of non-Jewish inhabitants, it is considered ownerless (even if it belonged to a Jew in the first place) because it is not the way of people to get them back

So it has nothing to do whether the owner of the object isn't Jewish (so you can keep it) but if he was Jewish you'd give it back.

It has to do with whether the majority there are likely to give back such lost items or not, and it simply was not the case in those societies.

11) Bava Kamma 113a

Fake quote, and out of context.

This is a discussion that has to do with tax collectors who were ripping off people at the time and enriching themselves on the back of citizens by claiming taxes that didn't belong to them. Doesn't matter if Jewish or not.

So there is a discussion about whether you are allowed to lie in order to protect yourself and your money from those thieves.

The same way you'd be allowed to lie to "circumvent" a non-Jew about whether you were hiding a Jew in your attic during the Second World War.

12) Avodah Zara 22a-22b

Mistranslation, and out of context.

Basically, it says that you're not allowed to leave your animals alone in the inns of non-Jews at the time since you're putting a stumbling block in front of the blind as they commonly engaged in bestiality back then.

I mean I don't think there's much to say about this, it's clear that in many places in the world this is just as common today as it was back then, and even in the more rural areas of the "developed" world it's still something that happens.

The less said, the better.

Conclusion:

This wraps up this ridiculous piece of propaganda. None of the quotes were 1) accurate, 2) complete and 3) in context. Some of them, straight up lies.

Don't learn theology from memes, people.

#antisemitism #Talmud quotes

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ohtheewhorer · 1 month ago

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Imagine you’re Dale “Longlegs” Kobble’s Chubby!Virgin!FWB whom he slowly corrupts (3.3k words)

So here’s what I’m thinking—follow me on this…

Warnings: Graphic Description, Shameless Smut, little bit of fluff, Desperate Sex, Passionate Sex Loss of Virginity w/ Blood, if you squint incubus!Dale, Religious Guilt, Blasphemy, stalker longlegs, yandere longlegs, Horny Reader, Loss of Innocence, Dark themes, Chubby Reader

A/N: I wrote a lot more than I expected as I always do 😩. Please enjoy my long ass blurb/fic about this hot evil old man. You can also read my fic on ao3 (I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE IMAGES USED)

You’re the preacher’s daughter who just wants some freedom from your overbearing, shotgun-toting, bible-wielding father. You’re innocent in appearance but if people really got to know you they’d know that you’re really a mischievous, horny little minx with a yearning for something dangerous; anything opposite to your sheltered life.

Then, one day, you run into Dale while visiting the local hardware store with your father. At first, you’re unnerved by his presence. After all, Dale is…unique-looking to say the least; his graying thin long hair, his filler plumped lips and face with skin that has an unnatural blotchy alabaster coloring to it which made him appear quite ghoulish yet somehow ethereal. But then there are those intense blue eyes of his that seemed to sparkle with joy the moment you entered his line of sight.

Dale made the bold move to approach you knowing your Paw was only a few distances away—something no man ever had the guts of doing in this small town—only to simply congratulate you on your upcoming 20-something birthday. You shrunk under his towering stature, eyes darting anxiously around in search of your dad. You weren’t sure whether you should be afraid of the fact that—regardless of it being a small town—how did some random stranger know your birthday? Or maybe you should be afraid for him considering he could very well be a victim of your father’s wrath. And all because the strange man dared to do the kind gesture of wishing the preacher’s precious girl an early birthday.

You even pitied the man enough to throw many discreet hints that he needed to back the fuck away from you before it got ugly. But the ever eccentric and bizarre Dale didn’t take any hints and ended up singing to you an old classic rock song that your worldly uncle would probably be able to identify.

Your father came around the corner and he had questioned Dale of his intentions while speaking to you, very well aware that his pretty princess had many suitors who vied for your hand in marriage. And you knew your father well enough to read his judging eyes as they scanned Dale’s entire presentation, scowling that a man like him would ever think he might have a chance regardless of if Dale ever had the thought to pursue you.

And Dale, oh, Dale…he’d speak broken sentences and barely audible words, euphemisms and epithets, riddles and rhyme and your increasingly frustrated father would curse him in biblical verses and claim that he’d spoken the ‘devil’s tongue’. And the moment your Paw calls out the lanky male as a ‘satanist’ instead of disproving his claim—preventing any potential small town witch hunt—Dale, instead, sends him a botched-lipped cheshire cat grin ending the interaction with a chilling line, “Your ignorance won't save you when the shadows you've denied finally come to claim you."

Goosebumps arise on your supple skin, staring up at the man with both fear and admiration. No one’s ever stood up to your father that way. Everyone’s always having to walk on eggshells around him, not wanting to be seen as a delinquent in the eyes of the lord’s appointed servant. But Dale has done it with that high-pitched playful lilt in his tone and that bright smile on his face. His courage alone was enough to spark your interest in him. He was dangerous and you wanted nothing more than to experience him.

And sure you could find plenty of pretty boys and bad boys in town that would happily sneak around with you and give you a taste of the wild side that you so craved. But you didn’t want just “a taste” nor did you wish to hide your deeds. You want to be very loud and proud with your degeneracy.

And so you made the effort to see him again, going to the hardware store within the next few days because it’s all you knew of him. You’d gone at least 5 times already, at varying times in the day; all alone, too, much to your father’s chagrin. Just when you planned to give up on your 6th visit, while turning to leave you could hear the familiar flowery voice from behind you that has you swiveling in his direction in elation.

He’d found you and so the rest was history. It didn’t take long after to build an intense bond with him that teetered the line of being sexual at times, especially once you got past the stage of learning each other’s name. He doesn’t usually leave his shabby house much so it made sense that you’ve not seen him around before. Though by his own horrifying admission he’d been observing (stalking) you for a while now and had already known about you. You’re just grateful to have met him; a man unafraid to push boundaries.

With him, you didn’t have to feel guilty for wanting to do things beyond what is appropriate within your conservative community. For one, you got to hold his hand that’s a lot more than you’ve ever done even while attending college. And when you asked to go even further like hugging…he lets you hug all over him (though mostly for his own selfish reasons since he’s as touch-starved as you). To most outsiders, doing these things aren’t much of a big deal but to you, a beginner hedonist, it meant everything. You want fun and Dale promised you this with every interaction; upping the ‘depravity’ as you went.

But then one day, Dale suggests to you that he could show you fun beyond the tantalizing ‘indirect kisses’ via sharing lollipops or the occasional lap sitting with added knee bounces for effect.

“You want to take my virginity…on my birthday…as a gift to me?” You ask incredulously. It was scummy of him to even think such a thing would ever be considered a gift. And from a man like him no less; much too old for you and quite terrifying to look at from certain angles. And yet…you felt a gush of your slick soak your panties. You needed therapy. You need to find God again. This is sick!

But it’s sooo damn tempting.

“I only want to open your mind to many great pleasures, Angel. Is that not what you told me you’ve been seeking?” Dale says, reaching a hand over the console of his car to rub one of your nylon-clad voluptuous thighs. “Be a good girl for me, just two more days… and it’ll be an even special day for the birthday girl.”

You tense a little, feeling his hand traveling higher up your thigh. “Do you think I’m ready?”

“That’s for you to decide, silly.” He giggles.

“I think I’m ready. I-I’m ready.” You repeat, giving him a struggling smile that falters when your breath hitches again. His hand is kneading the meat of your thigh.

“Oh, I’d bet these legs around my head would feel like just the loveliest hug.” He sighs dreamily.

You tilt your head in confusion. “I couldn’t. I wouldn’t want to hurt you like that.”

He laughs some more, running a calloused hand down your cheek and admiring its youthful elasticity. “You could never hurt me, angel. But I get the impression you have no idea what I’m talking about, don’t you?”

“I don’t think I do. I’m sorry,” You say, batting your long lashes and flashing your alluring doe eyes up at him. “Could you show me what you mean? I’d really like to know, pretty please.”

“In due time, love. You’ll have to first show me you can be a good girl when I ask you to be.”

“How do I do that?” You nudge your face deeper into his open palm, sliding his fingers over the edges of your jaw until they’re close enough to your pouty lips. Using your tongue you drag one long nimble digit into your mouth, suckling lightly on the tip. He has an earthy taste to him that you quickly grow addicted to.

Dale pulls his finger from your lips, webs of saliva connecting your lips to it. He smiles, wagging his finger side to side. “Tsk, Tsk. That was very naughty, angel. Being a good girl means you’ll have to listen to the sky father’s rules again. That means no premarital activities. You’re not allowed to touch yourself either. Wouldn’t want you to be a sinner before the big day? I’ll give you a pass for today although with some limitations. But then it’s 2 days of being on the nice list, missy. You’ve got 3 strikes if you lose them…you’ll be punished. And I beg you not to get on the naughty list or I won’t be making you sing pretty for me like the sweet birdie you are.”

“Why? Why should I go through all that trouble for you?” You hate having to bottle up your desires again when the excitement’s only just begun.

“Because it’ll make your blood much more pure for the sacrificial ceremony,” He jokes, then frowns when you place his hands away from you, turning in your seat so you’re not facing him. Dale leans into your ear, whispering. “You’ll know what real freedom is once you’ve had a taste of it and then it’s ripped from you like an anticipated treat stolen right out of a dog’s mouth. And if you cower from the dark side, back to your sheltered life, you’ll always feel as if you’re on the brink of going…FERAL!” His hand slaps against the window beside your face making you jolt up and stare back at him in terror. Your chest rises and falls, hyperventilating as he stares intensely into your eyes, his face is only a few inches from yours.

“So…I give myself to you and I’ll be free?” You question timidly. “Like you?”

Though he wears a big crooked smile, his eyes betray him as a tear runs down one plump cheek. “Why, of course, angel. You’ll be free…like me.”

You cup his cheeks, swiping your thumbs over the lumpy skin before placing your mouth over his. Your first real kiss! With a man you knew, at most, for a week. It’s a tender yet short kiss as you relish in the feeling while you can. His lips are slightly chapped and uneven in texture yet you moan into it because it felt so right. You pull away before you get too carried away and do something devilishly sensual like sticking your tongue down his throat.

You anxiously gauge his reaction. Is this strike one?

His eyelids slowly flutter open before looking back into your eyes again. He hasn’t experienced this kind of softness in forever. People are usually afraid of him and he’s used to being alone but having such a young beauty as yourself having just an inkling of interest in him blows his mind farther than any fucked up shit he’s seen and/or done.

But Dale’s just not capable of understanding these intense feelings he has for you and it makes him feel as if he’s losing the little control he has in his life. So he’s always jumping to the default of trying to creep you out as some sort of power move he possesses; proud that he can make people fear him by his actions aside from just his bizarre appearance. So now he’s just running his thick wet tongue along his puffy lips after your shared kiss, playing up the perverted gesture which should’ve been enough to make your skin crawl but you always match his freak.

Leaning over the console to invade his space once again, you touch the tip of his tongue faintly against yours just before he darts it back into his mouth. And if he were to give you a strike for that wicked move, it’d be so worth it.

Dale’s such a little shit, though, because he’d for sure make you watch some vintage porn that he owns and it’s not at all vanilla. It’s rough, dirty, pearl-clutching, thigh-clenching stuff. Choking, spitting, biting, bondage… it’s all so violent to a wide-eyed beginner as yourself. Your heart’s pounding a mile a minute, squeezing Dale’s arm and willing yourself not to look away or he’d consider it a strike.

And the next two days are even worse with little devil Dale making sure he tortures you through the agonizing march of time. He’d refrain from touching you at all, avoiding you like the plague. You’d feel like you’re going crazy like he’s some form of drug to you because all you can think of is him. Even while you sleep at night it’s as if his presence lingers around you. Now you’re beginning to understand why your father says that lust is a poison to a god-fearing mind. You’re convinced that Dale has sunken his gnarly sharp teeth into you, infecting you with his toxic venom so that you’ll never come out the same again.

When your birthday finally arrives, Dale knows for sure that you’ve officially surrendered yourself to him. He could tell it in the way you waited on his words hand and foot, wanting to follow whatever it is he asked of you with no question. He could make you up and break you down into the perfect little subservient minion of the dark side and you’d gladly sign away your life. It would be that easy.

He’ll take you to his special place, down in his dimly-lit basement, where there’s no chance of anyone hearing you scream. He’d start by making you cum with his mouth first just as he’d promised and you’re seeing fucking stars! The man feeds on you like he’s been starved for centuries. He didn’t even have the decency to pull off your cute lacy pink thong you’d carefully selected at some lingerie store for him to marvel at. He just flips up your pleated skirt, pushes your panties to the side and just digs in with an eager mouth and even eager tongue. Those same puffy lips you’d kissed the other day now sucking and making out with your own puffy lips while he gets his wish of you wrapping your pillowy thighs around him.

You’d offer to get on your knees and suck his cock the way you’d seen in one of his films but he’s too wired, wanting to fuck you right then and there on his dingy worn couch.

When he pushes into you, it’s as if you’re being split in two; surprising because, based on what you saw in those nudie films, Dale’s isn’t as big as those ones. It’s actually quite short, deliciously veiny with a hook. Girthy, too. As thick as coke can. Dale Kobble proves the theory of girth over length by a long shot.

He’s positioned you on your back to where your legs are pressed deep into your shoulders and now-exposed chest since Dale, in his impatience, lifted your shirt over your ample breasts and pulling them out of the cups of your bra to watch them jiggle and knock against one another other with each drive of his hips.

This man has zero patience for anything actually. He’d just push into your tight heat in one fell swoop and you’d gasp out loud, feeling the faint tearing within you. He’d pull himself out a little to marvel at the blood and cream coating his dick, gathering some on his finger to paint your sweet lips. And you’d flick your tongue between the spaces of his fingers wanting to drink in the essence and you feel so fucking powerful.

Once he begins his pace, it’s erractic, unrhythmic, desperate, and awkward but you fucking love it so much that it has you whimpering and clawing at his back. You don’t care how little experience he has, you never want him apart from you.

Dale would want to be as close to you as he could, falling over your masterpiece of a body with his full weight. He’s penetrating DEEP. He wants to give you all that dick no matter if it isn’t much. He’s all sweaty, his belly sticking to yours from all the worked up perspiration. You enjoy the feeling of his softness against yours, appreciating his torso (when you could at least) for the ‘dad bod’ built that it was.

He’s hoarsely gasping, whispering the dirty filth in your ear, caging you between his arms. You can’t push him away even if you tried but you’d be crazy to ever want to, squeezing your legs around his body in a death grip.

He’ll let his face fall in between the valley of your breasts, inhaling you. He doesn’t care to breathe anything else so to suffocate this way, would be an honor. High-pitched sobs and breathless whispers against your skin indicates to you that it’s been so long for him since he’s felt a warm body against his own. The more he thinks about how lucky he is to fuck such a tight, greedy cunt as yours it make him turn into an inconsolable mess; crying, spitting, and kissing all over you.

You’re no better, whining and mewling with reckless abandon. Your hands are anywhere clawing at his boringly pastel colored shirt, running your hands up his shirt to sink your nails into the sides of his ribs until you're settling on his long hair. With every bruising thrust, you tug hard on his hair earning pathetic “unh”’s and “ah”’s from him.

Whenever either of you muster up the strength to pull away from each other for just a few centimeters, you’d sloppily crash your lips together, swapping spit or devouring each other’s tongues then swallowing down your moans from each other’s mouths like passionate lovers who’ve known each other for years.

Dale feels like just as much of a virgin as you with how much you’ve reduced him to a sniveling lovestruck fool. He can already sense his approaching climax, not wanting to blow his load before you get a chance to experience bliss.

He’ll bring a finger to your clit, specifically the finger that dons that fucking ring so you could feel the cool metal against your sensitive button. And obviously, he won’t be nice about it, rubbing harsh, rapid circles on it until you fall apart. He’s not stopping until you’re sobbing—begging…you’re absolutely delirious. Your back arches off the couch cushions, eyes rolling into the back of your skull like it’s an exorcism. You can hardly breathe. This is exactly why orgasms are called ‘little deaths’ because you must’ve died and now you’re reborn again offering yourself to the soulless world.

Before you could protest he spills his sticky, hot cum inside of you. Your hands would instinctively try to push away but your legs keep him there, wanting every last fucking drop of Dale’s seed. The man’s got some big kahunas so you’re going to overflow with his essence.

And without a doubt, for all the money in the bank, Dale will scream “I love you” as he cums until he’s just whispering it while shuddering against you.

After it all, you’ll both lay together in an entanglement of limbs, cuddling in the afterglow while seesawing between either cleaning up or going for another round. Though considering you could feel him stirring up inside you again, you think it’ll definitely be the latter.

He’ll truly surprise you with your actual gift. A beautiful gold necklace with an amethyst pendant (and a secret tracker you don’t so that he’ll always find you everywhere even if you ever try to run away from him). And, of course, he wouldn’t forget to gift Paw something for having his part in the creation of you, so he mails him your bloodied lacy underwear as a reminder of the lost innocence of his precious girl.

Oh, and aftercare definitely involves those large hands of his giving you nice belly rubs and soft scratches along your skin with the occasional peppered kisses along the pudge. Then, you’ll eventually both come to the conclusion that you're each other’s anchor whether for better or much, much worse.

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