#DNA kit

[hepbaestus]

I did a DNA kit about a month or so back and I've received the results and my god my family did not go very far.

I have a whopping total of five ancestral regions, with two of them being in England.

I mean, I was expecting something like this, not gonna lie, but to see it on my laptop screen is something else.

[loreeebee]

SelfDecode to Personalize Your Healthcare

Are you frustrated with your healthcare or lack of it? I stumbled upon SelfDecode recently in my attempts to organize and investigate my own health issues. Previously I’ve used the services of a naturopath to determine a significant food sensitivity and most recently a nutritional deficiency. This DNA kit includes these tests and more. What DNA Offers DNA kits can be the beginning of your…

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

Is it bad that I want to see more of that Were-Doc Au?

the people love mad scientist turned big wet dog

[little-bumblebeeee]

Steve's mom having an affair a few months after Steve was born and gave up the kid that came from it so nobody would know.

Fast forward years later when Robin finds out she was actually adopted and she has a half brother she doesn't know about (but jk, she does know about him because he's right there trying to figure out this mystery with her)

[fjordfolk]

the next sheltie/collie breeder i see make grand claims about their dogs' eye health despite only having done DNA and not actual ophtho, I'm going to hit with a shovel

[d4rkshad0w]

how long do y’all think Kit will stay mad after Ty once they’re together, by that i mean once they’re reunited. he’s been mad at him for 3 years how many more days do y’all think he can last?? i’d say 4-5 at most

[villainanders]

I think in a week when my dna results get back and I do a week free trial I’m going to get big into my ancestry.com era I’m kind of really pumped to see the results from my dad’s bio family. Have always been curious but he is pretty firmly not interested + didn’t seem like my place to push him. But soon I’ll be able to snoop on my own

[galway-bae]

re: david lynch what a bummer :( ik he'd been in poor health (and basically housebound) for a while now and also. yknow. 78 years old. but man. his work has been super influential for my general Art Sensibilities for a long time. going to need to make many more eraserhead baby pez dispensers in his honor

[ikram1909]

That's his dad frfr 😭😭

[kitthew]

genealogy is suuuuuch a boring and confusing and stressful hobby until all of a sudden u find something that makes soooooo much sense and all the dumb weird pieces start fitting together and u feel like ur meeting urself for the very first time!

[hepbaestus]

just when i need a bynch of saliva for a dna kit, of course that's when my mouth goes completely dry.

[loreeebee]

SelfDecode to Personalize Your Healthcare

Are you frustrated with your healthcare or lack of it? I stumbled upon SelfDecode recently in my attempts to organize and investigate my own health issues. Previously I’ve used the services of a naturopath to determine a significant food sensitivity and most recently a nutritional deficiency. This DNA kit includes these tests and more. What DNA Offers DNA kits can be the beginning of your…

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

please draw werewolf doc when u have the chance

stick to physics, doc

transcript, bc my handwriting is shoddy but i'm too lazy to fix it:

DOC: duhuhhhh- Marty! MARTY: Yeah Doc what's up? DOC: You know that thing I was working on with Einstein? MARTY: Yeah, what about it? DOC: Well, uhhhh. How do I put this- MARTY: Oh my god, Einstein! MARTY: He's not- DOC: No, no, Einstein's perfectly alright, don't worry. It's just- DOC: There's been a... recent development. As you can see. MARTY: MARTY: (the floor calls to him.) DOC: Marty-

bonus doodles:

[crispyliza]

Those people that buy everyone in their family ancestry DNA kits as gifts have to know some shit right? Otherwise what's the point of paying all these money to examine the same DNA? All my family members just use my own to figure out theirs. Especially my sister who would logically have the same results as me.

Moral of the story: if a family member buys you a DNA kit your world is about to turn upside down.

[wxndswept]

"Hmm... Well, it's a good thing you are so adept at destroying the Swarm, right Yuuki?"

"Don't use my victory against your clone as something to view as an easy victory. I barely survived that fight, Mei."

"You weren't as close to death as you believe, Yuuki. Besides, that creation was enhanced by your own power, remember? The original one, as well as the one Stelle held off, the unstable one, are both far weaker in comparison. Unless the Swarm got a hold of your DNA, it's unlikely they could replicate the same results."

"..... Right."

[siremasterlawrence]

The Love Spell Kit

My friend sent me a love spell kit for free that he created unfortunately and well shall I say unforgettably I happen to touch it upon opening it.

My hand hits a spark as I scrape it lightly with my finger instinctively the spark ignites me in excitement sending a chill down my spine.

My body shook vibrating throughout all of my body my vision loses it bearing with it winding in and out of the area I feel stuck in it.

My balance starts to go off under my feet I can feel eyes staring at me with one move and I go tumbling to the group because I am no longer in control.

Once in the safety my house I can hear the front door open up as four people we enter in a haste and my anger surges with utter rage.

I have a deep hate fueling contempt for any other human except members of my family so when another dears to pick me up and we are a go.

The next thing I know I am in the back of a trunk and then door is shut as we are driven to a secret location leading us in to a new area.

I awoke in a strange room my body spread on to a clean and cold floor the heavy eat crushing sounds of a my enemy pitter patter away.

It’s quite an unreal experience as essentially I am literally caught between a rock and hard place since I am immobile for one and there is no exit anyway.

If I wanted some out of worldly existential Godly experience I would have reread No Exit by John Paul Sartre but this is not his book.

Nor is this hell in fact it’s a way station in another realm the sounds of a feet come to a head meeting the pounding of my own struggle.

A man stood over me with a phony smirk and a even haughtier attitude reminiscent of a old European opulence and wealth it’s so passé.

He helps me up with utter disgust in his eyes I am more annoyed than anything even in a world so different the population is still so putrid.

On the desk behind him plainly decorated he lifts up a wooden box inside are three golden eggs with vibrational signature sound hitting me.

He laughs throwing one in the air with intent to it he proceeds to catch it with his mouth and then throws the box at me then leaves the room.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” I ask.

“You will figure it out “ he howls.

“Asshole” I say under my breath.

“The eggs….nnnnoooo” I should as they fell to the floor:

“Shall we begin”

“Who said?”

“You have triggered me”

“To do what “

“I am sentient way station”

“Home to all mortals”

“This cannot be”

“You cracked the eggs “

“Indeed I did “

“I am the love spell”

“We can create the love spell”

“Love spell?”

“I didn’t ask for this”

“You earned it”

“Whatever! I am out of here “

“Not without a soulmate “

“Damn it!”

“Fine! Make it happen “

“Typically human “

“Always in a rush “

“Sorry”

“To freaky”

“It’s not in my wheel house “

“Nothing is “

“You are unique in one way “

“Fucking Alive”

“I am saving you “

“From what or who?”

“Life”

“Press your hand on the bar”

“It will scan you “

“Take a sample “

“Do a dna taste “

“It will configure everything “

“In mere minutes “

“ A man of your ilk”

“Well…well..well”

“You have fine taste”

“Can we commence?”

“You are no fun”

“So I have been told “

“Open that door walking in”

“Then what”

“Be in for a surprise”

“Wait!”

“A shock to your system “

“Yep”

The end