#DEMOTIVATING thats the word

[mmyashas]

the actual purgatory event is fandom hate

[vhstown]

reminder that ppl who make stuff on the internet for free don't actually owe you anything at all like ... as sad as it is that ur fav comic / fanfic hasn't updated in god knows how long that person has a life 😭 can we not harass people and be compassionate and patient and understanding thanx

[ozymoron]

literally why am i a perfectionist i actually really dont give a shit

[drcloudtheclown]

Some small frustrations

[astralepus]

Hello! It's been a while since I used this tumblr blog (or any of my art accounts for that matter). I took a long break from posting my art on social media due to the stress that it was causing me, but since then I've refocused myself on why I create art and why I want to share it with the world.

I'm still in the same fandoms as before, but I'm going to be more selective about what I post (i.e. not posting every single drawing I make, and instead only posting the drawings I'm truly pleased with and want to share). I'm hoping this balance between personal art and tumblr-ready™️ art will help me stay motivated!!

Artsy rant about motivation beneath the cut:

When I first started posting my art online, I used Instagram and for the first few years I was truly excited about posting my art and sharing it with the world. Instagram worked differently back then, and was more focused on tags and the explore page. It was easy for me and other artists in fandoms to find one another's accounts, and I generally had a really good time on there. But then, Instagram started changing some things, and I found myself getting less attention than I had been.

I had promised myself that I wouldn't get caught up in numbers, but it still affected me. I would try researching ways to improve my reach, because I truthfully wanted to do art as a job and didn't know how else to reach an audience. I set up a weekly upload schedule for myself, but as those numbers dropped lower and lower, and Instagram implemented videos, and posts began to be shown to my friends and family less and less....with that dying ability to reach those who wanted to see my art, I also lost a lot of my passion. I felt like I was only drawing in order to post now, and if no one was seeing my art, even those who I knew irl, and even reels weren't working....what was the point of me forcing myself to draw?

And so, I took a much needed break.

I hadn't realized how much posting on social media had affected me, but once I released that stress of making perfect content every week just to be sad about likes, I slowly remembered why I loved to draw in the first place. I love creating art, as a visual medium to express my thoughts, my stories, and my love for certain series and characters. I started drawing for myself again, like I used to, and everything felt *fun* again.

On new year's eve, I found myself reflecting on my art accounts again, mainly because my Tumblr account was started on that day in 2022. I really want to share my art again, as a way to track my progress, to collect a portfolio, and to spread the fanart I've created for my fandoms (as well as my original art). Tumblr is the only social media where I feel like I can do this without focusing too hard on numbers, because *everyone* has fluctuating numbers. Tumblr is like an archive to me almost, someplace where I can throw words and drawings and see what happens to gain traction. I like that carefree feeling better than other socials. This is someplace where my art can just exist. And that's nice.

All this to say, I plan on returning to Tumblr this year. My other art accounts may remain untouched, however, until I feel like I can tackle those socials in a more healthy way.

I still have worries about posting online, but I want to share my works, and I've made it my resolution for this year to at least try on Tumblr again :)

[stxrvel]

something #1

guys, i know ive disappeared and im so sorry:(. ive been having trouble getting inspiration to write, bc there are a lot of things going on in my life right now that really demotivate me, butt today i was able to write this out of the blue and wanted to share it with you guys! so i hope you like this, whatever this is going to be a part of, and hope to see u soon! <3

warnings: an unfriendly and unlikeable reader thats most likely to anger you, bad words and lots of hate, friends to enemies to ?????? 1k words

“Are you supposed to be here at this hour?”

Y/N moved away from the locker where she had stowed her things that morning, blowing the strands of hair that had been left out of her hasty ponytail.

“Are you supposed to be my mom?”

James Barnes, from across the room, scowled at her. Y/N returned the gesture, watching him out of the corner of her eye move to the other end of her position to do God knows what.

It had been at least noon since they had returned from the mission and Y/N hadn't dared cross the shower area near the Complex hangar just to avoid that interaction with Barnes. The weights in the gym, the treadmill and all the objects she could hit were more appealing to her than having an ordinary conversation with another human being.

That's why she had waited hours to go back for her things, some clothes and items she usually left in that area to use after missions, but just that day they weren't needed because the frustration was bigger and the anger was eating her alive.

Especially the anger she felt against Barnes in those moments.

“And can you stop taking over the gym? There are recruits who have to train, but you scare them away with that dead face,” Barnes spoke again with his back to her, and Y/N had to resist the physical urge to throw the thermos in her hands at him.

“It's not my fault you train wimps.”

“They're not wimps,” Barnes turned away, sincerely offended. “You actively yell at them to go away.”

“They're my training hours, what do you want me to do? Be kind and let them pass?”

Barnes averted his gaze, slamming his locker with his black backpack over his shoulder, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe he was having this discussion with her.

“Is it even healthy for you to train so many hours in a row?”

Y/N pushed the small locker door as well, the sound of the impact silencing any thoughts of the two of them in the room. “Why the fuck do you care?”

“God,” Barnes raised his head, his face regretful that he'd prompted the conversation in the first place when he could have let it die. “You're impossible to talk to.”

“Then don't fucking do it.”

Their gazes met, each at either end of the room, Y/N closer to steaming out the door.

“You should've stayed with your fucking recruits instead of coming to shit all over my mission,” she couldn't help but spit out what had been rattling around in her head for hours, completely ignoring the grimace beginning to form on Barnes' face and grabbing the doorknob to get out of that cramped space as quickly as possible.

The led lights in the hallway blinded her for a moment, walking in a straight line down the path she already knew by heart to the rooms. Not all Avengers lived in the Complex, but Y/N preferred that to having to constantly run into Barnes in the Tower.

“Hey!” she heard the voice of the aforementioned, but only quickened her pace noticing the hurried pace his own were taking. “Is this all about the mission?”

Y/N stopped her steps in the middle of the hallway, near the stairs, where some agents were walking with dozens of papers in their hands and watching them out of the corner of their eyes. They already knew the routine. They all knew it.

“What, you think that's not enough?”

She turned, with that impossible-to-read expression they'd all grown accustomed to by now. She knew Barnes wanted to believe he could still read through her mask, but he could try to convince himself with fake words all he wanted, because that would never be the case again.

“It was mission impossible, Y/N. Steve agreed,” Barnes paused in front of her, barely casting a vague glance at the people passing them by. His right hand held the strap of the black suitcase so tightly that his veins bulged. Y/N barely snorted at his words.

“Just because you beat me by a majority doesn't mean you're right.”

“So the right thing to do was to go into the lion's den?”

“The right thing was to finish what we went to do, Barnes.”

“The right thing was to get out alive,” he determined, raising his voice. Y/N noticed his eyes red from the closeness they had adopted in the face of the heated discussion, and the faint thought crossed her mind that Barnes wasn't really doing anything productive to have run into her at that precise moment in the gym. She almost broke her expression to slap him.

“If you had followed my plan to the letter, we would've gotten that thing and gotten out alive. Do you really have a hard time accepting that my plan was a good one?”

“I have a hard time believing we would have made it out alive. There were too many of them. You saw them!”

“You know what? It makes sense that you have a bunch of stupid recruits. Like father, like son,” Y/N knew she was touching on a sore point, because one thing Barnes prided himself most on was having his own team look up to him as a role model after all he'd been through, but she'd stopped caring about such things quite some time ago.

“Y/N…” Barnes lowered his voice, taking a deep breath and looking at her through his eyelashes.

“If you show them your way, they're not going to survive a day in the field.”

“That's what you think.”

“That's what I know, because this job is who I am. Stop living like you're made of glass,” she looked him up and down one last time, his face contracting in an emotion she wouldn't allow herself to feel anymore. The memories that surfaced that melancholy face almost made her vomit in the middle of the hallway.

Maybe there was a time when Y/N thought she could have a good friendship with him; a time when he would've thought she could become a good friend. But none of those moments lasted long, rushing away like a shooting star, disappearing into space like smoke.

“We made the right decision,” Barnes wasn't going to budge and he was going to have the last word and she knew it because she just knew him so well. She almost laughed in his face at how predictable he had become. Emotions really did make people weak, and in this job that was a very big danger.

“Keep convincing yourself of that and you're going to end up dead.”

Y/N paced before Barnes could answer her, a bitter feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. She knew he would follow her with his eyes so she tried to pick up her pace without looking too much like she was trying to flee from his sight. It was torture to be around him after all.

[fayes-fics]

Hi I saw your post about interaction and it is not you at all. I think it’s s3 being a bit lacking and certain parts of the fandom. There has been a lot of drama across platforms including on twitter with benophie/kanthony fans being doxxed causing some people to leave the fandom entirely. I think as we get more s4 content it’ll be more alive but fans are definitely growing in numbers. I’m sorry you feel demotivated I just want to say I really enjoy your stories you’re an amazing writer Faye 🤍🤍

Hi Nonny!

Thank you for your kind words about my writing 🥹🫶 I’m sorry if it came off like I was fishing for compliments. That wasn’t my intention. I was just spitballing on possible reasons interactions might have gone down so much.

I agree that s3 was lacking. I have heard even devoted Polin fans were disappointed on the whole, despite it being Polin’s season.

I’m also sorry to hear about doxxing. Thats always terrible and a ridiculous thing to do over something so trivial as shipping. I guess because I’m older than a lot of folks, it just comes off as very immature to want to hurt people like that.

I must admit, I am slightly ignorant about all those goings on, unless someone informs me of them. I am not on other social media (I tend to side with LT on what places like Insta and Twitter do to my personal mental capacity, so I avoid them). As a result, I luckily miss a lot of fandom drama. To use a childish analogy, I’m just over here in my fics sandbox happily smashing Barbie and Ken dolls together while it appears there’s a boxing match happening over by the swings lol.

ANYWAY, I will stop wittering on. I hope s4 delivers for folks and does justice to Benedict’s arc. And if it doesn’t, well, it’s just a tv show and we have fanfic to fix-it imo 🫶

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you have a lovely week 😁🧡🧡

[talesofanautisticwoman]

Group work in university

Sooo we are having an exam prerequisite???? (Idk what its called, or if its the correct word for it) which is in groups... and everybody from my class seems to have made groups. We just got the assignment presented and quickly people made groups.. well besides me. And the assignment HAS to be turned in in groups.. I was like "well shit i'm fucked".

- The people in my class suck anyway.

I just wish I could make it alone or at least that it was an option. I might end up with somebody who is also in my study group, who is NEVER (and i dont really know her like at all) present. Besides for when we have duty to attend. It gets kinda hard to work with.

Group work in university SUCKS. I just hate being the leftover nobody wants to work with and not knowing how to socialize. Such a bad combo.

I tried to socialize a lot in 1st semester. However the groups were pretty much already formed after a few months. It drained me.

However I dont want to give up. I want to complete my uni education, as it is one of my special interests. Its just the social stuff thats draining and demotivating.

[youredreamingofroo]

Goodbye? I don't think so. I hope not. A very, very long rant about storage (🙄), simblr and whatever the fuck else I go on about for a few paragraphs. Skip to the end at the gold text for a more.... "definitive" answer. Especially if you want to skip the nitty gritty and sappy wappy.

i dont know what to do anymore, I freed up 18 GBs of space it all managed to go down the drain in literally an hour, Im moving my blender things to my external HDD, because that alone is 20 GBs (because of Scene sizes), I just hate to free up the space because I dont want it to go right back down. This all sucks cuz I really really enjoy being on Simblr, but sims 4 just continues to be a nuisance, whether its actual problems or its storage problems, it just always finds a way, every year, to get me to suddenly decide that im retiring until my next bout of Sims 4 hyperfixation. I love all of you guys and I love seeing how you all enjoy my work, and what I do, and I love seeing your stuff, you all make such amazing creations, granted if I stopped playing TS4, it wouldnt mean I have to stop interacting on simblr, it just wouldnt be the same. A pattern I notice anytime I start a social media platform, is that something always finds its way into completely demotivating me from posting, whether it's just literal lack of motivation, depression, realizing a project is too vast for me, storage problems, it's always something and it's always when I finally get comfortable or happy on a platform, especially after making friends, not that im saying my friends are one of the reasons I leave, thats far from it. I REALLY dont wanna take a break from Sims 4, I really really genuinely wanna start posting my story (W.A.S), but I'm not like a Sims 4 youtuber, I can't remain dedicated to one game, I play other games, I wanna play the Witcher games (or at least try to play them, I kinda suck rn), I wanna finish Detroit become human, I want to 100% Beyond two souls (and DBH), I wanna finish Disco elysium (started and never fucking finished 💀), I want to play Baldur's Gate 3, I mean, I purchased it at full price and I can't even play the game??... 😮‍💨 You get the point. At this point I wouldn't consider this a "goodbye," note, not... necessarily? I just get so frustrated having no storage, not to mention the fact that I need storage to literally do the stuff I do, like make edits, make poses, make renders, so the fact that I can't even do that, is just like... what's the point of even having Sims 4 anymore at that point? But I don't wanna leave simblr, I don't want to stop creating. It's funny, as I write this, I continue to give myself more and more of a reason to leave, the only real thing that's stopping me is just the fact that there's so many nice people here, I know that if I stopped playing the sims 4, I'd probably move onto another game (BG3................,,,,,..) and leave tumblr, or, at least leave Simblr. Which as I (think) said before, that's sad, I'd be sad, I'd miss people like Lori (groovetrys) and Lauren (miralure), June (circusjuney), Jade (gamyrmaiden), Anna (holocene-sims), butter (buttertrait), Fae (acuar-io), Verco (vercosims) and god, so many others, and sorry to break the atmosphere suddenly, but as I'm writing this, I'm listening to "In another life," from Everything everywhere all at once and it's making this very emotional for me, so if it gets sappy I apologize.

And I guess to be... insanely honest, as much as I want to release my story (trust me, I REALLY want to), I'm slowly beginning to realize more and more how not-easy it's gonna be to make scenes, writing it is fine for me, its just setting up the scenes feels like i'm forbidden to a life of staring at a bunch of words (pose names) trying to figure out what's what, where is what, what to do, where is where, who is who, who is what, how is what, how and why, need I continue. Storytelling is so insanely important to me, I believe that despite how little I read and despite how terrible of a student I have been, and despite how poor my literature skills are, that storytelling is still so important, fuck it, poetry has been such an inspiration for me, but I don't fucking know how to write poetry?? I can barely understand poetry at times, but it's still all so beautiful to me, the concept and the fact that people use metaphors so meticulously to create an allegory for something beautiful, or traumatic or sad, like in not so berry, the concept of an ocean being alexanders "love," and cataleya drowning in it, and her realizing she's drowning in his "love," but when she wants to leave, she really wonders if she actually wants to leave, to conceptualize and create this awful relationship in the means of an ocean is so... well, not beautiful in a reality sense, but in a technical/literary sense, it's beautiful, it's expression, and THATS what im passionate about. Remember what I said about getting sappy? Yea, sorry about that. After a while, I wonder what good repeating myself does, I've said about 5 or 6 times that I don't want to leave, yet here I am, with the mouse over the uninstall button like an idiot about to press the big "DON'T TOUCH" button, perhaps it's the idea that after repeating myself over and over again, that maybe I'll make up my mind, do I do a coin flip? I never listen anyways, I always continue to flip until it lands on what I like. So... why am I still writing? To be honest, I should've stopped by now, but you can only stop a dam so much before it all comes out. I do this with my friends, when I'm sad, I pour my heart out until it's a repetitive and overcooked version of "I'm sad." I write paragraph after paragraph and I literally could've just said "I don't have storage. Considering leaving simblr," and the same message would've gotten across, and I apologize, if you're still reading this, for making such a lengthy post, but I couldn't quite help spilling a bit of water everywhere, although I guess now my little puddle of water has become a flood. I use metaphors a lot, I apologize... again.

So what does all this bullshit that I typed out mean?

I don't know. I wonder the same myself, I'm fighting a battle more fierce than the one I had with my period last week, "Do I uninstall Sims 4 so I can have more freedom, and enjoy more content? or do I continue this rigorous battle of needing storage for the sake of a tumblr page, my enjoyment for writing and other shit I do in the sims 4?" I cannot say I will take a hiatus, because I will procrastinate, and I will forget completely about posting, and tumblr in general. I do still, at the very least, want to release my Official Teaser for my story, whether it be my last post or not, and at the very least, I want to introduce you to the characters, whether it be my last post(s) or not. Not to mention the fact that I want to continue sharing about Roo even if it's not about sims 4 anymore, I mean hell, I haven't even finished off the Leo and Roo part of his timeline.

For an INCREDIBLY watered down answer on whether or not this is goodbye, I say to you, not in this moment, not definitive enough for you yeah? Well, that's the thing, I don't have a definitive answer, you could fucking tear apart this entire college essay mat-pat style, and still not have a definitive fucking answer, and that's because I don't, sorry to all the people who don't want to listen to me rant or who want a clear answer, but I just don't have one. I've been known to make impulsive and on the whim (when I'm really emotional) decisions, and this is a situation where I don't want to do that, because I care about what I have here with ya'll.

If this ends up being one of my last posts, I bid you all adieu, I love you all, and I thank you so so so much for the laughs, and for the mutual connection we may or may not have had, I do not know if I'll make any actual posts for the next few days as I consider my decision, I will float around of course and continue reblogging this and that, and commenting and liking, etc etc. There's also a chance I may wake up tomorrow and look at this and think I was just being overly emotional about this stuff, and that now I look like an idiot, which is the case 9 times out of 10.

[problematicraccoon]

okay i dont know who needs to hear this right now, but PLEASE. FOR LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY. GET. OFF. OF. SHIFTTOK. DELETE that god forsaken app off your phone. do NOT listen to the people on that side of the internet. ignore any and all "advice" from shifttok creators. stop putting all your eggs in such a flimsy basket.

p l e a s e.

yes, in every online community there is both good and bad. every yang has a yin. but when it comes to shifttok, that hellsite is so damn convoluted you cant tell which way is up. there is such an abundance of misinformation still floating around and its so easy to get swept up in it. remember when that one shifttoker tried to convince us that if we shifted the "shifting police" would come get us and return us to our CRs? yeah. this is the shit im talking about. people lying about their experiences, people spreading misinformation for funzies, discouraging antis who just want to be a little bitch and ruin everybody else's day. its just such a breeding ground for negativity. this is why i stay tf off of that side of the internet anymore. and if i do go on shifttok, its for the occasional shifting story or scripting ideas, not for genuine advice or guidance. there is literally only like two creators there that have shifted that i still trust.

the key to shifting is your mindset. and idk about yall, but i am SO easily swayed by other people. im very sensitive to negativity, and if i see even one little comment from an anti thats like "you're just lucid dreaming :/" it knocks me off course and i feel insanely demotivated for weeks. and i know there's probably others like me who feel like they're not strong enough because of this or are embarrassed by this. dont be- its okay to be sensitive. allow yourself distance from things like this that demotivate you. surround yourself with other shifters and people of whom you can trust. shifttok is a total dumpsterfire and i HIGHLY recommend that yall stay tf off it. or, at the very least, stop taking every word that shifttok creators say as gospel.

[stateswscarlet]

I keep seeing videos “disproving” subliminals and manifesting and, god… I know they’re full of BS but I can’t help feeling demotivated. Makes me feel like everything I’ve worked so hard for has been a coincidence.

i mean subliminals just a placebo.. they dont help u manifest bc your inner man doesnr understand words so why would words repeated over and over behind pretty music mean or do anything? thats not how the law works. only feeling/acceptance changes identity, not some words😭 also would you be listening to them if you had exactly what you wanted?

also idk who is disproving the law but theyre prob just butthurt and upset and refuse to take accountability for their state ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also, using the law consciously shouldnt feel like hard work or work at all. if it is, youre in a state of trying/3d oriented.

[eraserheadadult]

when i was like 12 & learning html to customize my neopets bio adding the word gay got my acct flagged and set the page back to default deleting all my work which demotivated me from ever learning html again & thats the most homophobic thing thats ever happened

[simpingandprocrastinating]

Im so glad you got your files back! Thats awesome!!! Kissin your forehead and making you soup

MOOOMMMMMS, IMMA CRY! ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

God, I'm awful with words, but thank you love! I was so demotivated when I lost everything, luckily I got all of it back. I don't know what I would've done if it was lost forever...

[javisbutt]

aaaaah i have so many wips of this train mf doing stupid shit but im sooooo lazy dude lol

[katyspersonal]

Hiya!

Do ya read BB fan fiction? Would you ever consider writing any? Do you have any favorites? What do you wish to see in Bloodborne fan fic writing if anything? I’m curious!

Hahaha that's a funny question. I actually haven't read Bloodborne fanfics yet because I just usually don't read fanfics...? I am always too bouncy with my free time! 'Oh I need to work on my drawing oh I need to hang out with that friend oh I need to play a game oh I need to take a long walk while weather is still great oh I need to write that theory oh I need to figure that out' etc...

Just no way to organize my spare time. I create so many thoughts that I can't just stop, relax and consume thoughts instead. XD It is the curse of ADHD and overly rich imagination, man. But, I need to at least write my own fanfics. I have so many BB stories in my head that it'd be a shame if they never got told. Though learning how to draw/plot mangas so I can tell them visually seems like a way more efficient option for me! I don't like to describe places, but I like having solid "excuse" to draw this or that character.

However I'd be really interested in reading fanfics that have to do with Byrgenwerth or School of Mensis! And also... please, if you know genuinely high quality (and elaborate?) fanfics about Edgar x Micolash - share. Please this is my favorite ship but since I care about it so much I demand for it to be handled with GREAT care and GREAT psychology/context. Tbh the first fanfic I do want to write has to do with how they became a thing because I have one cool story based off my theory!

[clockworkcheetah]

despite the fact word online saves automatically it apparently decided not to save the latest chapter of ityw

which is :) fantastic :)))