#DEI CAN KISS MY ASS

[theboredenby]

Any form of R*de Th* Cycl*ne is harmful. I like the show, the characters are charming, the music is nice and the story is there. But I cannot ignore RTC's blatant ableism in previous and current runs. In the original song for Ocean "Play to Win" the C slur is used. In 2016, What the World Needs contains ableist imagery, and most versions of the US Tour throw the disability off. People like Kholby Wardell who speak to characters they have never once played, minimising obviously problematic content because "it was a different time." RTC first premiered at the Atomic Vaudeville in 2008. Facebook, Twitter and YouTube were around. In 2011 (only 13 years ago) the tour of Canada began. It is now 2024. There is a script that replaces genuine character plot for cheap "humour" to mask the ableism that is underneath. Yes, 13 years is a long time, but YOU WERE STILL ABLEIST??? And you are STILL ABLEIST IN 2024!! SO LIKE YOU CANT SAY LIKE IT WAS A DIFF TIME BECAUSE, THE ACTION WAS STILL BIGOTED. FUCK RTC.

Stop Defending Ableists Challenge (Level: Impossible)

So the other day I made a post listing all the ableist things Jacob Richmond has included in Legoland and Ride the Cyclone.

And the response was abysmal - the amount of "well actually..." kind of responses I got was disgusting and I took down the post because I find it counterproductive to argue with teenagers on the internet. However, I stand by the belief that if you think you are old enough to post publicly on the internet, you are old enough to be held accountable for what you post.

But I think what I had to say was quite important, so I am going to reword it here.

TW here for the discussion of ableism and ableist slurs (they are all censored)

There is ZERO (0) justification for the use of THREE (3) ableist slurs across both works. I don't fucking care if it was the 2000's. The ADA predates both shows and disability activism had existed for decades before that (as yannick very kindly reminded me). So no, it was not ok for Richmond to use those slurs in his works, regardless of the time period. Because there is nothing "correct" (politically, or otherwise) about ableism.

And before you say "Oh, but it was the character who said it, not the writer..."

CHARACTERS ARE NOT SENTIENT BEINGS! They are not created in a vacuum. Their thoughts and actions are often a reflection of the author's own beliefs and morals.

It was not Ocean who decided to use the word cr*pple. It was Jacob Richmond who decided to use it. Same with the r word and sp*z in Legoland. It wasn't Penny and Ezra who decided to use those words, it was Jacob Richmond. Because each character's actions are dictated by the decisions that the author makes for that character. And in this case, the author decided to be an ableist asshole.

Yes, characters can be assholes. They can be complex and nuanced beings. But there are better ways to portray such experiences than being violently ableist (i.e.: without using slurs). And why does the ableist character get complexity and nuance, but the disabled character is simply the sad, disabled kid, with not much else in his personality until he magically becomes abled bodied. Like we deserve nuance and complexity as well, people!

In a 2022 interview with Curtain Call Bway (here), when asked who his favourite character to write was, Richmond responds with the following:

Ocean is definitely my favorite character to write because it’s based on certain people I’ve met and certain aspects of myself too.

Like he literally admits it himself, that his decisions when writing an ableist character were based off aspects of his own personality.

The reality is, disability has never been more than a comedic plot point to Richmond. He has never cared about portraying a realistic disabled experience. He has never cared about disabled people.

And the cherry on top is that his response to yannick-robin being hate-crimed was to rewrite Ricky so that he could be played by an abled and therefore production teams wouldn't have to give a shit about ensuring their spaces are safe and accessible for disabled performers. If he actually cared about disabled people and properly representing our experiences, he would have worked with a disability consultant and fixed the issues within the show. Instead, he doubles down and causes even more harm.

To add insult to injury, he then licensed that script to Sarah Rasmussen and her team of ableist cronies for the DC production. Because him choosing to continue working with Rasmussen and her team just shows that he shares the same ableist values as the McCarter/Arena team.

So by saying that "its the character, not the author", you are defending Richmond and his violent ableism. You are attempting to justify the harm he has done and CONTINUES TO DO to disabled people. YOU. ARE. A. PART. OF. THE. PROBLEM.

Ride the Cyclone and Legoland (in ALL its forms and versions) contains so much ableist violence. This violence has traumatised REAL PEOPLE, but yannick, myself, and other people speaking out are the ones ruining the vibe by calling it out? Be fucking for real people.

Now if only my university papers were this thorough...

[bengals-barnesbabe]

mrs. burrow blurb…

825 words for anyone wondering

◎ ｡ ﾟ ❁ ﾟ ｡ ◎ * You've been drooling at your phone for hours (10 minutes) just waiting for your stud of a husband to get home from practice.

All your social media has are pictures, videos and gifs of your man just owning his practice look- well his Bengals gear. But no one should look that damn good at work, unless they're getting paid to. And last time you checked he was getting paid to throw a ball and run away.

"Baby!"

You jolt up from the couch to the sound of Joe's voice coming in from the garage.

"Where are you gorgeous?"

"Living room!" You respond with a smile in your voice.

You see him before he sees you, of course considering he's 6 '4 and 220 lbs of fine ass man. He comes in decked out in his "lady killing" gray sweat shorts and a tie dye muscle shirt with his practice bag swung over his tan broad shoulders.

"Well don't you look comfy." He chuckles nodding at your current state of being wrapped in a blanket like a caterpillar in its cocoon.

You smile unwrapping yourself and standing to your much shorter stature, not that it's ever been a problem for him. "You look like you want every woman within 100 miles to start ovulating."

He snorts and rolls his eyes before pulling you into his arms for a strong yet soft, comforting hug.

"I missed you." He mumbles into your 3 day twist out.

"You smell heavenly, oh I missed you too." He pulls back a bit with a blush heating his cheeks.

You chuckle as he composes himself. "I don't know what's going on with you today, but I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."

Then dips his head to press his lips to yours. You hum sweetly into the kiss and rise to your tiptoes to reciprocate the gentle motions.

He pecks your lips once more before pulling back and smiling.

"I baked today." You beam.

His brows quirk up. "Oh yeah?" You nod and lead him to the kitchen. He sits at the counter as you place a cake plate in front of him, then lifts the translucent glass to reveal a sweet lemon Bundt cake.

"Wow."

You bite the bottom of your lip while cutting him a piece then handing it to him along with a fork.

"Thank you mamas." He says then takes a bite out of your homemade creation. You watch intently as he closes his eyes and throws his head back with a moan.

"Do you like it?"

"Oh yeah, fantastic. You did your thing baby." He responds, finishing the rest of his cake.

The joy you feel as the man you love cleans his plate is incomparable. Well you could compare it to the lust you feel when his body engulfs yours in any and every way.

Like when he walked in from an 8 hour practice looking like straight sex on legs. You'd never know how sexy a bleached buzz cut could be until he waltzed in that day.

There's nothing better than a man that just gets better with age.

"Babe?"

You shiver at the tone of his voice as he wakes you from your daydream. You lock eyes and let out a deep breath.

"Fuck, get me pregnant."

He steps down from the stool and smirks. "I think we already have that covered."

Still entranced in his beauty, you pout then feel a warmth around your midsection. You look down to see his hands rubbing on your bump, because you're 7 months pregnant. Which is why he said he was glad you were feeling better, because ever since your 3rd trimester started you've had more downs than anything.

"Babygirl must be having a quiet day if you somehow forgot about her." He jokes. You chuckle and place your hands on top of his.

"I didn't forget, I must've fallen asleep after baking. Then you walked in and I couldn't think of anything else." Then as if she was being summoned, your little girl starts to kick against his hands.

Joe kneels down and kisses your stomach. "I guess she was just trying to give her stunning mama a little break. Ain't that right Deya?"

"Deya?" You tilt your head amusingly.

"I've heard 'who dey' so much today, it's stuck in my head. I just wanted to try it out. What do you think?" He rose to his full height.

"Like Adeya Burrow? It's cute, we can put it on the list."

"Yeah?" He smiles. You nod.

"The list is getting pretty long though, we're gonna have to make a decision soon."

Your husband takes your hands in his and brings them up to kiss them. "We have time, but I think we have our two finalists."

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀

Turns out you didn't have as much time as you thought. At exactly 35 weeks, your twin girls Adeya and Ariel Burrow, were born. A surprise but the most loved and adored surprise they'd ever had.

Main Masterlist

[rupertgayes]

How would you pitch watching Due South to someone who doesn't know it?

THE PREMISE: mountie from the northern reaches of canada goes to chicago to avenge dead dad (also a mountie), gets into buddy-cop shenanigans with a detective. said detective leaves the show in season 3 and gets replaced by another detective, shenanigans continue to ensue. there's also a dog. he's very cute.

THE PITCH: honestly, after being in the spn fandom and having most of popular culture awash with prestige shows (that are not spn, but like spn are typically dark and gritty and like killing characters off too) and having most of the popular media landscape try to cover their collective asses by having an aloof, 'you-can't-make-fun-of-this-because-we're-not-taking-it-seriously-ourselves' air, it was truly refreshing to sit down with a close friend of mine and check out this show.

i'm being completely serious when i say there's a certain je ne sais quoi about this show. is it because it's from the 90s? perhaps. is it because it's canadian? maybe. i wasn't even alive when this show first started airing and i'm not a media analyst. it basically takes the premise of the dudeley do-right cartoon and asks 'okay, but what if that was like, a real guy?' and fucking runs with it to the wildest heights. it's a comedy, but it's also so bizarre in some ways that it makes it a truly unique treat to watch. i love psych and brooklyn 99 for having a comedic procedural aspect, and neither of them are comparable in whatever it is that due south is doing.

there's honestly a lot of heart and soul in the entire show, and it has the ability to shift from just being comedic to having drama, mystery, and moments that pull at your heartstrings. it's a show that you can enjoy on the surface as a fun episodic show with fun characters and fun moments, but it also lends itself quite well to extrapolating on the characters, their motivations, etc. (and by etc i'm also including any shipping you might want to do).

i won't say it's a paragon of DEI, but again, i think it has a level of earnestness which makes any slip-ups it does have something i can kinda view with indulgence, versus shows that are making the same (or worse) mistakes 20+ years after this show already ended. these characters are treated with a level of dignity and respect, and i think overall the characterization is pretty consistent - there are some shifts happening between seasons 1-2 and 3-4, but i feel like it has more to do with budgets, a change in creative team, etc., versus writers not 'getting' certain characters.

there's also a lot of memorable episodes, scenes, bits. i think the latter seasons are more campy (my favorite) and some eps from s1 and 2 make for legitimately some great television. even the more mid episodes have something worthwhile, too. some of my fave moments in no order:

fraser (the mountie) saving and talking to? a rat in a strip club

also him going to a leather club

twice

and meeting a mountie in a latex version of his red serge uniform

using a tarp as a parachute

mafia egg conspiracy

aliens??

due south but make it silence of the lambs a little bit

performance arsonist

lake pirates? ghost ship?

also why are most of the major bad guys here doing some form of environmental crime? get your captain planet on ig, i'm into it

also fellow cops can also be bad guys. acab ig??

sick muscle cars eric kripke himself would've enjoyed. sometimes they get set on fire tho

due south but make it to wong foo thanks for everything

fraser running away from women so he doesn't have to kiss or interact with them

way too much time in closets, in general.

fellas is it gay to ask your new partner of one week maybe to pretend he's a woman so he can decide if he finds you attractive

there are red ships and green ships but no ships like partnerships :)

and to reiterate about the dog: there's a dog who's half wolf and all deaf and fraser can talk to him 'because he (the dog) reads lips'

his dead dad shows up too sometimes

anyway, it was really nice to watch this show for the first time, there are still moment i scream-laugh at because they're just so ridiculous and i'd never catch any other moments like that in any other show. i definitely see why there's still active fans for it thirty years later. there's also some wild shipping fodder here, which is at least partially why there are still fics getting written for these guys today. destiel if the cw weren't cowards etc etc. when i watched the finale, i cried tears of joy because while i'd miss the characters, they got an ending that actually seemed to fit, instead of it being a rush job, which is not unique to spn but, you know.

also you can watch it for free on youtube rn.

[johaerys-writes]

Hello! I hope you're having a better week than the last. A WIP Wednesday, if you're okay? You can skip this ask so plz no pressure! Have a nice day and I luv u❤️

Hey anon!! This week has so far been slightly better than the last, and for that I am SO grateful lol. I've started working on yet another disasters!patrochilles one shot (shocking absolutely no one) which is basically The Break UpTM, from Achilles' POV:

"He did what?"

Dei is standing in front of him, fists on her hips, her dark eyes flashing. Achilles shakes his head, sniffling into his tissue.

"I cannot believe it. This is— This is just— the fucking nerve of him!" She angrily flips her sleek black hair over her shoulder and paces the living room, her mouth twisted in fury. "After all this time— all the chances you've given him!"

"I know," Achilles laments, and he can feel the tears coming again. He doesn't even bother dabbing at his eyes, letting them flow down his cheeks instead. There's no stopping them now; the wave of emotion that climbs up to his throat is thick and hot and all consuming, choking him. It’s pain and loss and heartbreak and frustration, all wrapped up in one, and he can’t unravel it.

The previous night, when Patroclus pulled him and held him close, is still fresh, searingly bright in his mind. He can still feel Patroclus’s hands on him, taste him on his lips; all those years and years of pent up longing and hoping and praying finally finding their release. And then he remembers how Patroclus had looked at him that morning, how he’d pushed him away without a second thought, and he wants to start screaming and never stop.

"What did he say to you? Tell me again, word for word."

"That he doesn’t know if we should do it again," Achilles sobs. "That it's not right, not… proper. That friends aren't supposed to do things like that, aren't supposed to—to sleep together."

"Friends, my ass. He's been throwing himself at you since you were fifteen!"

More like the other way around, Achilles thinks to himself, but he doesn’t have the heart to correct her. He takes a shaky, stuttered breath. "Then— then I asked him why he kissed me last night, why he let it all happen if he didn't think it was right."

"What did he say?"

"He didn't know-w-w," Achilles bleats pathetically, burying his face in the fistful of tissues he grabs from the box.

Dei huffs and shakes her head. "The fucking nerve of him!" she repeats, more emphatically than before. She throws her hands up and starts pacing the living room again, muttering and cursing to herself.

Rhea brings him a glass of water as Dei keeps ranting and talking with her hands. Achilles shakes his head at the water; he can’t drink anything, he can’t eat anything, so tight is the knot in his throat.

"Are you sure that's what he meant?" Rhea asks. "Maybe there's something else going on with him, maybe… you misunderstood him."

"There's nothing to misunderstand," he tells her. "He just— doesn’t want me. That's all."

"And that’s his loss. Okay?" Dei stops pacing to come sit next to him. She strokes his hair and gives him a new tissue from the box. "He doesn’t deserve you, sweetie. You're so much better than him."

Achilles shakes his head. He knows Dei means well, that she only wants to comfort him, but the notion is alien to him. How can Achilles be better than Patroclus, how can Patroclus be worse than him, when they've always been the same? One heart, one mind? He doesn’t know if there are words he could say to make Dei understand.

He shivers, his chest run through by a bout of fresh pain. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He wants to scream, and he wants to wail, and he wants to tear his hair out by the roots; he wants to curl up in a ball and crawl under the covers and never again come out. He wants to die. He simply wants to stop existing.

"It's over," he sobs on Dei's shoulder while Rhea holds his hand. "It's all over."

"Now, now," Rhea coos, patting his back. They both comfort him copiously as he empties their tissue box, and then some.

~~

Thank you so much for this ask!! I hope you're having a good week too 💙💙💙

[darkravens-blogs]

The deers big meal

I don’t even know what this title is but it just popped in to my mind

Alastor x black!reader

Summary:where you and your family are having family dinner and Alastor can’t keep his hands off the food or you

Word count:I have no clue

Notes: your Alastor wife and this does have black foods in it specifically the foods I cook wit my family also this is not the Alastor smut I’ve been working on I’m still working on dat oh and since I’m black imma just talk how I normally do only when da reader or her partners talk tho but if yall can understand it I can change it just let me know

•Y/N POV•

“Aight yall I just got off dat phone wit mah ma and her and my pa or going to be coming to both meet yall and to cook yall thanksgiving dinner wit dat help of me” i say while i walk into the lobby”really im my god I can’t wait to meet them when are they coming” Charlie asked in excitement. “Dey coming ta day since we gotta start coming da day befo thanksgiving” “WHAT!” Everyone yelled(besides husk and Alastor they already knew that because they already met your parents and had dinner with them before) “ye is dat a problem or somethin”i say while tilting your head. “ no no no not at all I just wish you told us sooner when will they be here?” Charlie ask nervously “oh Dey be her in bout three or fo hours so imma go out and buy everythang I need Alastor I need ya to find me a big pot and I medium pot and well das it cuz imma go buy Alda seasonings” I say as al gave me a bright smile and nod while going to get me what I need.

•ALASTOR POV•

I wave bye the my wife and walk into the kitchen and grab every thing she needed”hey Alastor?” I turn around and see Charlie”yes dear” “um um so what is y/n’s family nice like her” .I laugh “yes dear they are but just like her if you get in there bad side they can be the most scary people you will ever meet trust me do not get in there bad side trust me matter fact I almost didn’t marry her because I made her mom and dad mad”. I say and laugh as I remember that day like it was yesterday back then I was so sad they I might not marry her and I was scared of her parents I still am just a bit.”but don’t worry cuz I did marry her after all after she conceived her parents to give me a second chance but once you get to know them there so lovely and sweet you’ll love them”.I say and walk out of the kitchen and go to sit in the lobby”wait you almost don’t marry her why I wanna know please tell us” Charlie said “yea smiles tell us and also tell us how you score a hottest ass baddie like y/n” angle said as Charlie sat next to him” oh um that’s a story for another day” I say nervously.

•TIMESKIP TO WHEN YO PARENTS GET DER•

•NO ONES POV•

“Ok ok guy der here guys remember say yes mama no mama yes sir no sir only al and husk and me can call them well not dat and please angle tone down the horniness of you can cuz if you flirt with my dad my mom will swing on you no questions asked.” you say to everyone one as Alastor coke and stands next to you and puts his arm around your waist and gives you a kiss on the cheek and smiles at you to which you return. as vaggie opens the door”hi ma hi pa” you say and run to hug your parents and hug them”hi dear” “hey sweetie” they say and hug you back.”aye Alastor how ya been son” your dad says as he walks up and hugs alastor” “I’m doing good sir how have yall been doing” Alastor says as he hugs your dad back.” That’s nice and you better be treating my daughter right or I will kill you and it will be slow and agonizing I might not even kill you right away but cha wish you was” your dad says and he hugs Alastor tighter and his voice gets deeper and his aura is beyond scary. Alastor gulps hard”y-yes sir I have” “good and how many times have I told you call me y/d/n dang boi loosen up every once and a good while son” your dad say say he stops hugging Alastor” ok now introduced us to all your nice friends”

•TIMESKIP TO AFTER THE INTRODUCTIONS(of course angle said some horny shit to your dad you can choose what he said)

“ excuse me boi the fick you say to my husband son I don’t care who you is I will knock yo ass the fuck out nigga” your mom says and and starts to walk to him with her fist up.” “ I fuckjng told yo ass angle” you mouth to him before you go to your mom.” Mom chill this is a good place and-“ before you can finish your mom cuts you off” I don’t give a fuck this could be a funeral and I’d still fuck him up” she says “baby hunny it’s fine I only love you” your dad jumps in and says “but-“ “ma he only loves you angel just can’t help himself it’s fine lest just start to cook dinner aye” you say “ o-ok fine but he better not do dat shit again I will kill his palm tree yoga girl looking ass” your mom says and you and everyone start to laugh.”ok mom let’s go dad you stay here and have fun talkin and checking up wit al and husker” you say and walk to the kitchen “Wait no no I lied you gotta do da chitins”.

Your mom is washing the greens while you’re cutting and washing the hogmals and your dad is washing the chitlins and everybody else is dying to the stench of the chitlins.” So how are you and al doing he treating you right” your mom says while still washing the greens “ yes mom and actually me and al have been um trying fo a kid and um I have a feeling pretty soon you’ll be a grandma” you say happily but then get nervous but then happily again.” WHAT! Really oh my satan what are you pregnant right now” “ no no no no NO bit we have been trying it was Al’s idea he saw how I was with the little cannibal children in cannibal town and some other children and wanted some of his own” you say and smile happily and your mom looks at yo with so much love and happiness for you. “ ok I’m done wit da hogmals I just gotta season dem” you say with a large smile on your face “ actually I’ll season them and all but can you start cookin dem I wanna suprise al with his moms jambalaya” you say excited and happy with a bright smile in your face. “ sure yea I can do dat you really love him don’t you sweetie” “ mo den anythang not even words or actions can prove much I love him”

Authors note:Part 2 will be out shortly I apologize for any miss spelled words of y’all don’t like or can’t understand how da reader and her ma and pa are talkin I’m sorry I can fix dat(hah see wat I did it’s form holes I can fix dat anyways) part two might be smut idk I might make dis into a three parter other den dat hope yall like it request are open if yall wanna request you can request anything within reason love yall enjoy da fic

[mourning-again-in-america]

ginsberg might have seen the best minds of his generation helping the US bomb the everloving shit out of Indochina but i don't think that even compares to the number of man-hours spent weighing how to interpret the DEI responses on Target's psychometric applications. how much, i wonder, did they decide that one can effectively act in service of Target Corporation, if they like being with people of similar backgrounds?

please, for the love of the almighty God, just let me kiss ass in-person like a normal fucking person. why do i need to stick my tongue in the asshole of a fucking COMPUTER PROGRAM?

[thoughtsbeewild]

She won calling the shots for debate platform which is her Mainstream ABC platform to hold the debate location

We know orange wanted Fox news, but i get confused because sometimes he would say fox is fake or is thier certain sections of Fox that is fake. We need more clarity on that.

Knowing trump can handle the trenches of NBJ whatever, this will be thier turf. Its going be thier bullshit rules and they will not make it easy.

her comment by the plane just from a female perspective, she said she look forward to that ABC debate but will see for future debates after her first debate with you. That is sketchy, we women say that for a reason either you bomb or you don't. I know she trying save face and her ass , so thats why she probably said well see on Sept 10 debate. VERY SUSPICIOUS AS FUCK ...THEY ARE SO UNTRUSTWORTHY, LIKE SERIOUSLY.

Will will they have fair moderators?

Will the moderators give soft ball questions to Kamala the VP and nasty racist questions to orange, such as all the topics discussed?Expect every negative question to be thrown your way.. Also the questions that you struggle with, you have to ask yourself how can you answer better when its presented? Be prepared to answer in FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT but calm composed and don't ever show weakness or emotion that that she pushed your buttons. People see how intelligent you are from compassion to her about every topic/question thrown. That will be huge for voters to see that

Knowing they are VP/President- i wonder what kind of dirt will they air out. Joe biden in debate randomly said the pornstar. Is kamala going do the same, will they have an audience that will propose a question? Will they have liberal haters as audience to present Q&A questions to the debaters? Will they make Kamala look like America sweetheart as the presidential candidate or have questions make you look like bad person for being against queen kamala to whom they bow to? So many questions..

Please for the love of god... don't squeeze ill bet you ill beat you in a golf game, this is the president throne you want to win. Leader of the motherfucking free world, naw mean... Don't let this women puppet manhandle yo ass on national television..Not the time and place after all the effort, time etc. made. Entire WORLD wants to see you own her ass on national television so sweetly . but a great fuck you dumbass liar. make America great signoff

Mental note: Everyone is USA and other parts of the world are counting on you, if you lose all hope is lost..

its hard because i cant stand watching her, just hearing her voice, i cant but i do see clips from people reactions. She just so full of shit, everything that comes out of her mouth so untrue, unreal. how can people tolerate her being the next president? because we live in a world where these people exist and they want someone like that to vote for, despite the policy's, the make America great again. Those people want to feel like winners even though we know thier not and knowing that they can beat an intelligent educated person with little effort, lies, manipulation, kinda taking the short cut(instead of working hard or putting in the work, they don't have to like no interviews, barely rallies) makes them feel superior. Like haha in your face orange/vance, yall did all that work and my kamala ass just had to do this with my celebrity puppets . This is how we think, its female ego talking.

In Biden America, on THE WORKPLACE SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM , YOU SEE ALL THESE UN-DESERVING PROMOTIONS LIKE WTF. Your like i worked with her or him, they suck they are slackers and now they are manager, director, president. Because today leadership, in order to get promoted FOR THE JOB TITLE right now YA GOTTA KISS THAT ASS, KISS KISS MAD ASS, BOW DOWN, MAKE THOSE PUPPET CONNECTIONS AND THEY ARE UTILIZING DEI FOR PROMOTIONS FOR BLACK, LATINAS WORLD. ITS ALL WTF...

I WOULD WANT THAT CHANGED BACK TO MERIT, HARD WORK, DEVELOPMENT, STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM, NOW AT THE TOP. giving people back that feeling of accomplishment, being rewarded, and earning things along the way from bottom to the top..teach the kiddos if one decides to have kids, the value of a hardworking dollar. Money dont grow on trees son..

That's why people would vote , for kamala because easy way for them, makes the losers feel like winners..

Thinking, brainstorming....

[abstract-crossverse]

can I pretty plz get poly relationship headcannons for an s/o and Sanford/Deimos, and Hank/2Bdamned!

POLYCULES FOR THE WIN LES GOOOOOO

Long so it'll be under the cut!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sanford x Reader x Deimos [Poly relationship, headcanons]

I like to think Dei and San were already dating before they met you

And when they met you it was kind of like "yo they're really cute and kind and just so-" "I know right??" "...." "EY [NAME] YOU WANNA DATE US?-"

Ofc that last part was interrupted by Sanford covering Deimos's mouth and shrugging it off to you

San just wanted it to be more special, just like it was for him and Dei, you shouldn't be treated any lower

They would ask you out on multiple dates, and the big question came while you guys were stargazing one night

And they were absolutely overjoyed when you accepted their feelings

N e way we all know Deimos is the biggest simp in the polycule, no doubt

He may flirt and be confident in it but the moment you or San do the same he's a puddle

Do the thing we're you gently place your hand on his chin and make him look at you and he's redder than Hank's goggles while stuttering nonsense

I mean, Sanford's kinda the same, only he fights the urge to melt and flirts back

Cuddling with these two dorks is amazing, bc Sanford just puts his arms around you and Dei and makes you two lay on his chest, or you're in the middle while they stay on the sides

Dei doesn't like to stay in the middle, usually bc if he needs to get up and go to the bathroom or drink water he doesn't end up waking you two up

Yeah they're not leaving your side during missions, they want to protect you as much as you want to protect them

Deimos is kind of a jelly prick, so if you end up subconsciously giving Sanford more kisses than him, he goes dramatic and pouts until you give him the same amount as San

San just rolls his eyes bc he knows Dei is very a little affection starved, so he joins in and you and him give Deimos loads of kisses and attention until he turns into a little puddle of happy Deimos :]]

Deimos definitely found shirts that say "don't talk to me or my hot partners ever again" and "We're the hot partners" and makes you and San wear them when you go out for dates

You guys use them as pijamas

San got you guys matching hooks, and he gets so happy when you and Dei use the hooks on missions

San likes to play with your hair a lot, sometimes you be watching tv together and he just subconsciously put his hands on your and Deimos's hair and starts to play with it

Usually Deimos is knocked out after a minute, and if you aren't sleeping too, Sanford ends up falling asleep accidently while messing with you hair

Both are the type of pulling you by the waist if you need to get up in the morning, Sanford just shoves his face on your neck and Deimos mumbles "five more minutes..."

If they're in a silly goofy mood, they might slap your ass as a joke to see your red face, but they get super flustered when you do it back

---

Hank x Reader x 2BDamned [Poly relationship, headcanons]

Okay so let's be real, Hank probably started pinning first

Ik he's like a killer and brutal n shit but he just thinks you and 2B are so badass, he goes soft

2B was likely the last to realize his feelings for both you and Hank, he's too focused on work to really notice

But once he does notice he prepares the PERFECT date for you 3, aka he lets Hank(and you if you're into killing) go raid a AAHW warehouse while he grabs whatever is needed and then buy hotdogs and stargaze

Moving on cuz idk anything else to add

They're both very touch starved, hold them gentle and they melt like ice cream on a hot day

2B is surprisingly easily flustered, he sputters a bit before going "stop it you-" with a red face

Hank is just a giant cat, they will do anything for your attention, so just imagine you're sitting on the couch watching TV and 2B on the other side messing on his tablet and suddenly here comes Hank who just throws themselves on your laps and knows the breath out of you both

They purr like an engine, so sometimes you and doc will fuck around and make car gestures while Hank unknowingly purr, and you both have to hold yourselves from laughing

If you have any knowledge of medicine and tending to wounds then Doc let's you help him heal the others

Even though he doesn't want you to help, claiming he doesn't need help but let's be real this bitch barely sleeps and is running on 8 mugs of coffee a day you're insisting here

You and Hank have to drag doc to bed cuz this man will forget to sleep and have the audacity to say he doesn't need it

Though when he does sleep, god FORBID he wakes up for the rest of the day

And god have mercy on anyone's soul that dares try to wake him up, you and Hank will reck their shit

Cuddling with them is very nice, they both are very affectionate when they get the hang of it, though both of them are f r I d g e s

They're cold naturally, which is good when the nights are in high temperatures, and if you're warm, they hanging on you

You're not getting up, nope

Hank is a heavy son ova bitch and sleeps very lightly so if you try to move theyre waking up and hold you closer

Doc too, but he's a bit heavier

They're always a bit nervous of letting you on missions, they know you can take care of yourself and that you're very strong, they just don't wanna lose you

If you get hurt Hank will blame themselves and tries to do everything to make you feel better while doc helps the wound

Doc just gives you a light scolding to be more careful and gives you a kiss, and Hank also gets a kiss

If you start kissing them nonstop all over their faces they will be very flustered for a while, but they return it on the same amount or more

Kissing them for longer may be a little tricky since the other wants in so they alternate, and who's out just kisses your neck or anywhere else they can really

They would destroy the world for you, hands down

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[malderonadventures]

There was silence for a moment as Dei contemplated her options. He was right in that she couldn't hold him down. Nothing she knew of could. Perhaps her koala grip would work. She could cling to him and refuse to unlatch. But knowing him, he'd quickly find how ticklish she was and that too would be moot.

"Well, you're lucky I like you making breakfast. But don't loom. I'd much rather you just get in bed with me at that point. You may be a villain, but you don't have to be creepy about it," she pouted.

"I'm allowed to be dramatic. If you make me fall, you have to kiss whatever injury I get better. Them's the rules, Boyo. If you want to risk it with my accident prone ass, I'm all for it," she grinned deviously.

And just in time for a private invite. Dei's grin grew even wider.

"It's like you -do- have a mind reading quirk," she laughed. She knew he was playing, but he was never malicious. They always had fun no matter where they went.

"Sure! Let's go home so I can get injured in interesting places," she smirked as she stood, holding out a hand to Tomura. "Can we take the portal home? I like the butterfly feeling." At least, she was associated that it was the portal that gave it to her... surely not the person she traveled it with.

"I can agree with that. If I woke up and saw a muscley mass standing over my bed, I would freak the fuck out. Granted, I would probably be a bit freaked out if anyone was standing over my bed. That is -not- an invitation," she amended, pointing her cone at him before continuing to eat it.

"If you try to loom over my bed, so help me, I will commandeer you as a bodypillow and you won't be getting away until breakfast time." She probably wasn't joking about that one.

"You better not let me fall. It may bot be an earthquake, but it's not level ground. I'm accident prone enough as it is." She stuck her tongue out at her companion and finished up her ice cream.

[ladykissingfish]

what if the Akatsuki had Secret Santa but for Valentine’s Day, like …

Secret Valentine?

❤️ Itachi : Tobi ❤️

the brunette gets Tobi and … personally, he knows how “Tobi” feels about Valentine’s Day. Hell, Itachi knows how he himself feels about this day … and the thoughts aren’t good ones. but Itachi perhaps better than anybody knows the importance of keeping up a charade, so he gets “Tobi” something childish yet appropriate: a V-day themed coloring book … and a box of crayons. the others laugh; surely Tobi is the only one with the mental capacity to enjoy such a gift, right? however later on in the evening, Deidara passes by Tobi’s open door and glances inside to see both Tobi and Itachi, sitting at the little table, heads bent over Tobi’s gift, quietly coloring together. the blonde is intrigued … and perhaps a tiny bit jealous … after all, HE could create better art with crayons than those two.

❤️ Tobi : Kisame ❤️

Tobi gets Kisame, and as Obito he thinks, what does one tall-ass grown man look like getting a Valentine’s Day gift for another tall-ass grown man that he isn’t even dating?? the entire “holiday” seems puerile and ridiculous to him … but like Itachi, he knows the importance of putting on an act. so he gets Kisame a big bag of Goldfish crackers, which he sticks a ridiculously oversized pink bow on, telling him “Now the shark can catch the little fishies with his teeth!”. Kisame rolls his eyes; he wouldn’t have expected much else from this guy. but still, he has to admit … these little fish ARE quite tasty.

❤️ Kisame : Hidan ❤️

the half-shark ends up with Hidan, and he can’t think of what he’d like so he just buys him some good-smelling shampoo and conditioner. really this is a hint for him to wash his hair because lately it’s been all sticky and bloody from his sacrifices. Hidan doesn’t really know what to say so he just barks out something like “this better not make my hair fall out you fishy bastard” but that night he uses it and loves how soft it makes his tresses and yeah.

❤️ Hidan : Deidara ❤️

the Jashinist gets the artsy blonde, and he really doesn’t want to get him anything because they’re still carrying on a fight from three weeks ago about one eating the other’s cereal but Pein says he has to so he curses and grumbles but in the end he gets him a new pouch for his clay but the pouch has little red and pink hearts on it and Deidara says “geez are you gay for me now or what, hm” and Hidan blushes and screams at him about how EVERYTHING in the store had hearts on it, it’s Valentine’s ffs but nevertheless Deidara puts his clay in it and uses it all the time and whenever he sees Hidan after that he’ll point to his pouch and blow him a kiss and Hidan will blush and curse him out all over again.

❤️ Deidara : Konan ❤️

Dei gets the sole lady of the Akatsuki, and he thinks maybe this red lacy bra because it’s “artistic” but literally everyone tells him it’s a bad idea so he thinks chocolates but then he sees this new hairbrush that he HAS to have and it’s pricey and now he has no money to buy Konan a gift and he tries to ask Kakuzu for an advance on his pay but yeah it’s a No from the old guy he just grumbles to Dei to make her something and Dei sees they have the ingredients to make a simple chocolate cake so he does that with Itachi’s help even though he didn’t really ASK the damn Uchiha to help but the guy was just sitting in the kitchen anyway so why not make himself useful right? and the cake turns out slightly lopsided but still pretty tasty and Konan is happy Dei MADE her a gift because meaningful.

❤️ Konan : Kakuzu ❤️

the lady gets the nonagenarian. and she knows there’s nothing this guy values more than money, so she gets him a new wallet. to be funny she sticks in a group photo of the Akatsuki, and Kakuzu grumbles about this but secretly he loves the pic, and wants to take it out to show strangers the way an old man likes to show random people pictures of his grandkids. not that he thinks of the Akatsuki as his grandkids. or even as family, really. they’re just an annoying group of people he has the “privilege” of financially monitoring and/or occasionally “babysitting”. yep. that’s all it is.

❤️ Kakuzu : Nagato ❤️

Kakuzu gets the leader, and as anyone should be able to guess, Kakuzu doesn’t particularly look to spend money on him. Luckily he finds a coupon for dinner for two at a restaurant he doesn’t really like among his possessions. he gives them to the Leader and tells him to take Konan and enjoy a night away from the insanity of the hideout. also, really, this is the best possible gift for the redhead: all that skin and bones could definitely stand a good meal.

❤️ Nagato : Zetsu ❤️

Nagato gets the half plant half-something man(?), and he gets him a little cactus. but a cactus doesn’t seem too Valentine’s-like so he asks Konan to pick out a pot for him, one appropriately themed. she finds a small red one with hearts around the edges. a bit feminine, maybe, but Zetsu loves it and takes care of his new “child” like a proud papa.

❤️ Zetsu : Sasori ❤️

plant draws puppet, and this is disappointing because he’d rather get someone more into this interesting human holiday. but nevertheless he puts some thought into his gift, and in the end he gets him something that the puppet master would find useful: new polish for himself, and Hiroku. Sasori appreciates this, and he gives Zetsu one of his rare smiles as he accepts his gift.

❤️ Sasori : Itachi ❤️

the master of puppets gets the master of gengetsu, and he decides to go against his view of art being eternal and gets him something that is beautiful, but temporary: a yellow rose. yellow symbolizes friendship, and Itachi has proven to be a better friend to Sasori than most of the others in the Akatsuki. Itachi smiles as he inhales the sweet scent of his gift; it’s been so long since he’s taken the time to stop and smell the flowers. Sasori’s flower source is able to garner him many roses, of several colors, so he ends up leaving a yellow rose outside the door of every Akatsuki member … except Deidara. to Deidara, he leaves three: a red, a purple, and dark pink rose, which symbolize love, infatuation, and gratitude, respectively. Deidara is shocked that Sasori made the conscious choice to get him something, and he sticks the flowers in his hair and wears them until the petals wither and fall off.

or, you know, something like that 🤷🏽‍♀️

[yeoldontknow]

WIP tag game

RULES: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous they are. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips. (you can make your own post or reblog this one!)

tagged by the lovely @kookdiaries to do this fun wip game! thank you my love

im really about to show my ass with this here. is there a reason to have this many wips? no. but do i have them? yeah. i do. and i love them like theyre all my children TT anyway. come journey inside my notion and see what its like to be in my head for a little.

tagging: @jamaisjoons @yoonia @inkedtae @opaljm @kth1 @jeonjcngkook @amourtae @xjoonchildx @kyungseokie @jimilter @ressjeon @miscelunaaa @readyplayerhobi @kithtaehyung @taegularities @augustbutwinter @writtenwhalien @joheunsaram and anyone else who wants to do this. i know there are so many more people i want to tag but i havent seen them on my dash lately and i dont know if they changed URLS. im still playing catch up after being away for months so if you see this and you want to play just say i tagged you i am so so sorry for not knowing who anyone is anymore lmao 

and also. no one wants me to tag as many people as i have wips. when you see the amount you will understand.

WIPS - broken out by group and then member:

EXO ⁂ Junmyeon ⇀ An Abundance of Time ⇀ Silk City

⁂ Yixing ⇀ Joyride & Finesse  ⇀ Heretic

⁂ Baekhyun ⇀ Revenant

⁂ Chanyeol ⇀ Hero ⇀ Time Runner ⇀ As Still As Sound ⇀ Back To The Stars ⇀ Lupus Dei ⇀ Ouroboros ⇀ The Last Room In Paris ⇀ It Was The Night ⇀ Like Lightning ⇀ Beta Test ⇀ We Are Not Beasts ⇀ Ink Stains ⇀ You’ve Seen The Devil ⇀ In His Graces ⇀ A Lover’s Feast ⇀ First Time Caller

⁂ Kyungsoo ⇀ Appetite ⇀ Murmurations ⇀ In The Mood For Love

⁂ Sehun ⇀ Little Moons

BTS ⁂ Namjoon ⇀ Caine’s Finest Children ⇀ Kissing Vermilion ⇀ A Decent Happiness ⇀ Rhimdarr ⇀ Flowers On Wednesday ⇀ Midnight Connection ⇀ Debrief ⇀ My Love Is The Moon

⁂ Seokjin ⇀ Magnificat ⇀ The Vanishing

⁂ Yoongi ⇀ Leashed Demons

⁂ Hoseok ⇀ Your Emotions Are Imitations ⇀ Doomsick ⇀ Ala Morn ⇀ That New Hunger ⇀ Dies Irae ⇀ Meant To Be Yours ⇀ Manner of Man ⇀ Bone Taker ⇀ Second Skin ⇀ Vulgar & Divine ⇀ Casting Off ⇀ The Witch & The Wolf

⁂ Taehyung ⇀ Summoning Circles

⁂ Jungkook ⇀ 8:50AM

TVXQ ⁂ Yunho ⇀ The 16:50 Express

Stray Kids ⁂ Bang Chan ⇀ Vena Sera ⇀ A Taste Of You

⁂ Hyunjin ⇀ Collusive Perverson

[purrvaire]

*BLACKbonnet (?) and obikin 💙

HI MY BELOVED <3 RIGHT AWAY THANK YOU SO MUCH 💙💙💙💙

• Who's the cuddler?

Blackbonnet: they both are <3 i can picture them cuddling on stede's bed, curled up around each other and stede petting ed's hair <3

Obikin: Anakin, the ultimate jedi octopus eheh

• Who makes the bed?

Blackbonnet: I'd say Stede likes to keep things in order but realistically he was raised surrounded by servants, so I think he'd forgot that bed must be made at some point lmao no one makes the bed

Obikin: Obi-Wan duh

• Who wakes up first?

Blackbonnet: Ed!!

Obikin: Obi-Wan <3

• Who has the weird taste in music?

Blackbonnet: stede, absolutely, he thinks he got classical tastes but my man listens to some weird shit GOOD FOR HIM

Obikin: Anakin and he inflicts it to Obu-Wan whenever he can <3

• Who is more protective?

Blackbonnet/Obikin: THEY BOTH ARE SO PROTECTIVE OF EACH OTHER THESE RIDICULOUS DORKS WOULD GO APESHIT IF THE OTHER WAS IN DANGER 😭😭😭😭

• Who sings in the shower?

Blackbonnet: Ed!! My boy does a full concert <3

Obikin: I'd say they both sing but Anakin LOUDLY SHOUTS THE LYRICS while Obi sings more quietly, almost unconsciously, and has the bettee voice (thanks ewan <3)

• Who cries during movies?

Blackbonnet: They both do. One breaks down and the other follows.

Obikin: the super massive cry baby himself anibanani <3

• Who spends the most while shopping?

Blackbonnet: Stede duh dude doesn't know how to manage his money bless him and his wealthy ass

Obikin: I think they both would be careful to not to spend too much??? I think that between the jedi upbringing and Anakin's childhood they would spend only the necessary (but they would occasionally buy each other little gifts <3)

• Who kisses more roughly?

Blackbonnet: LOOK ILL DIE ON THIS HILL BUT I THINK STEDE DOES cos yeah ed is probably more experienced but have you seen how SOFTLY AND GENTLY he kisses and holds stede? * kicking my legs as I write * He thinks Stede deserve only gentleness otherwise he'd pull away MEANWHILE i think that once the shock has passed stede would go kiss ed HARD all the way to sunday THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

Obikin: Anakin cos he's desperate for it. He'd suck the air out of Obi-Wan's laugh, he'd kiss him like the world was going to end every single time bc he's terrified that there won't be a next time. If Anakin could, he'd devour his mouth in trying to keep him forever

(tw: italian // ama sai quella lyric dei ptn BACIAMI FORTE FINO AD INGHIOTTIRMI VIVRÒ PER SEMPRE ALL'INTERNO DI TE that's what im going for.)

Also if I think too long abt Obi-Wan kissing just as hard my legs will give out so uhm here's that

• Who is more dominant?

Blackbonnet: i... don't know. jury's still out honestly i have mixed feelings 👀👀

Obikin: Obi-Wan. I will not move from this hill.

• my rating of the ship from 1 - 10

Blackbonnet/Obikin: 100000000000000000000 WHAT A RIDICULOUS QUESTION THEY'RE MY EVERYTHING

send me a ship! <3

[shewhohangsoutincemeteries]

party favors

Peter Quill x Reader

Prompt:��“the noises you make are incredible”

Summary: the guardians are at a high-society party being held in their honor after ronan’s attack on xandar. quill is easily bored however, and issues you a challenge in the midst of it.

Warnings: smut, oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, sex in public, borderline/potential exhibitionism, adult language,

Word Count: 1,956

Got a Request? Prompt list for: tony | clint | quill

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“If I’d known it was gonna get you all dolled up and in a dress, I would have teamed up with a bunch of homicidal misfits and risked our lives to save an entire planet from a power-crazy warlord way sooner.”

You were surprised out of your relaxed reverie by Peter’s joking voice in your ear, smiling as you felt him wrap his arms around your middle. He rested his chin on your shoulder and pressed a quick kiss to the side of your neck. You breathed a quiet laugh as his stubble tickled your throat, taking a sip of your drink as you stepped out his embrace and turning to face him. You straightened his collar with your free hand.

“You make everything we went through seem so trivial.” you replied, rolling your eyes as he took your drink from your hand and finished it. “And I was drinking that.”

He set the empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray, stepping closer to you with a teasing smirk. “Fancy getting out of here?”

“It’s barely been two hours.” you pointed out, amused. The two of you were surrounded by the rich and powerful of Xandar and what seemed like every high-ranking official of the Nova Corps. It had been a month since the defeat of Ronan, and you’d all been invited back for a black-tie gala celebrating both the victory and Rhomann Dey’s resulting promotion.

The notion of free food and top shelf booze had been enough to convince the crew to return, and you’d spent the last two hours mingling and keeping a watchful eye on the more unpredictable members of the crew.

“So?”

“So, you’re supposed to be making sure Rocket doesn’t rob anybody.”

“Gamora can handle it,” he shrugged, reaching out to skim his fingertips down your arm to your hand and closing the remaining distance between you. “And Drax is busy tormenting Dey. We’re in the clear.”

You raised a brow with a smile, leaning into his touch as his hand claimed your hip. “What about the speeches?”

“Exactly.” he replied easily. He leaned in, brushing his lips over the sensitive skin below your ear. “If we leave now, we can spare ourselves the boredom.”

You wet your lips, eyelids fluttering closed briefly as his hand moved from your hip to grip at your backside, pulling you to him. You were standing towards the back of the room, all but sparing you any potential audience for the affectionate display. “And if they want the Milano’s captain to speak?”

He took hold of your hands with a cocky, reckless grin that promised mischief, dragging you playfully into a nearby alcove. He turned, pressing you against the wall and pinning your hands by your sides. He brought them up by your shoulders, fingers sliding down over your palms to wrap around your wrists. His body was flush against yours, the heat of him through the thin material of your dress sending shivers down your spine. “I guess we’ll just have to stay nearby, then. Won’t we, baby?”

“Peter—”

His lips met yours fiercely, and your protests melted into a moan, muffled against his mouth as his tongue met yours. You felt yourself melt into his embrace, arguments forgotten, and your fingers twitched, eager to wrap your arms around his neck. Your teeth grazed his bottom lip as he slung his hips into yours, and Quill chuckled against your lips at your sudden eagerness.

He only pulled away when your chest began to burn for air, and it heaved as you inhaled, your head spinning. You arched your neck to catch his lips again and he grinned, instead leaning in to trail his lips over your jaw and down the side of your neck. He released your wrists to take a possessive hold of your hips instead, and you gripped at the front of his jacket, holding him to you. Quill’s fingers bunched in your dress, sending the silky fabric gliding up your thighs. You hummed at the sensation, his lip tickling your throat as you cast a wary glance towards the main hall as music played on.

Quill had pulled you into a small alcove off the side of the main room, your bodies almost completely hidden by the large, ornamental floral arrangement beside you. Still, you could see people as they passed, dancing and talking. Any one of them could turn and notice the two of you, and yet you didn’t want to push him away. If anything, it spurred you on, and you urged him closer, kissing him again as he took hold of your thigh and brought it up to rest against his hip.

You hooked your leg around his, breath catching as Peter broke your kiss and instead pressed his lips to your sternum. His hand smoothed up your leg, your dress bunching with it, goosebumps following him as he bore your leg to the room. His fingers dug into your flesh, and his other hand cupping the side of your face as he pressed a fleeting kiss to your lips again.

He gave you a charming, arrogant smirk before moving to his knees in front of you, hooking your thigh over his shoulder instead. Your eyes widened, and you smacked his hand as it moved from your cheek down to your other leg, pausing to squeeze your breast teasingly. He snickered as you did, the sound muffled against your leg as he turned his head and bit your thigh teasingly.

“You can’t be serious!” you hissed, fisting your hand in his hair and glancing warily at a passing waiter. He was oblivious to the two of you, and you bit your lip to stop a whimper as Peter pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the inside of your thigh. His teeth grazed against the sensitive skin, his hand sliding up your other leg and hooking in your underwear. “Peter, if we get caught—”

“Better keep it quiet, then.” he said with a cocky wink, and your hips bucked as he tugged your underwear to the side and flicked his fingers over your clit. “The noises you make are incredible, but you might want to keep them to yourself just this once.”

A moan slipped from your lips as Peter slid his tongue over your clit, his arm wrapped possessively around the thigh hooked over his shoulder, holding you in place. You slapped a hand over your mouth, eyes rolling back as he sucked at your clit. He laughed quietly against your sex, fingers digging into your flesh and stubble tickling at your inner thigh as he ate you out.

You let your head fall back against the wall, fingers sliding through his curls as you rolled your hip against his mouth. You whined against the palm of your hand, struggling to keep your eyes open as you watched the crowd. He always made it obvious how much he enjoyed doing this, trying to see how loud he could make you cry out, and now the idea of working you undone while you desperately tried not to make a sound seemed to excite him all the more.

You bit into your palm, heedless of smearing lipstick, as Quill slid a finger into you, the heel of your shoe digging into his back. You arched into his hand, his tongue still teasing your clit, your moan muffled against your hand as you came.

You took a shuddering breath as he stood, your hand falling from your mouth. You gripped at his arm instead, and he grinned widely, bringing his finger to your lips. You parted them, holding his gaze as you sucked it clean slowly. He captured your lips in a hungry, consuming kiss as soon as he pulled his hand away, sliding his fingers into your hair. You wrapped your other arm around his neck, hand clinging to his shoulder as he kissed you. Your orgasm only seemed to spur you on, desperate for more.

You could feel his erection pressing against your thigh, and you untangled yourself from him without breaking the kiss, reaching between the two of you to unbuckle his belt. Quill broke the kiss with a sharp intake of breath as you palmed him roughly, his forehead resting against yours.

“You sure?” he murmured, eyes closed as you freed him from his pants and wrapped your hand around his cock. Even as his voice grew rough and husky with arousal, you could still hear a teasing lilt in his tone. “I mean, I’m all for it, but I thought—"

“Don’t care,” you muttered against his mouth, stroking him with one hand and pushing the skirt of your dress aside with the other. “I need you. Now.”

He kissed you again, fervently, as he took hold of your ass, lifting you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, taking hold of his shoulder, your other hand gripping at the hair at the nape of his neck. His breath was warm on your cheek, his nose bumping against yours. “Better keep it quiet then, sweets.”

“So, shut up.” you replied, kissing him hard as he thrust into you. You groaned into his mouth, tongue sliding against his as he began to fuck you steadily, one hand tightening almost painfully on your ass. The other gripped the base of his cock, not trusting himself not to fuck himself into you fully, trying to avoid the sound of flesh meeting flesh.

He buried his face in your neck, teeth digging into your shoulder. You whined, hand tightening in his hair. You turned your gaze to the main hall, the room falling quiet as Nova Prime took the stage to speak. You bit your lip, desperately trying to keep silent even as your back arched and Peter released the base of his cock and instead rolled his fingers over your clit.

“Fuck—” you smashed your lips to his again, moaning into it as your body tightened. Your orgasm crested as the crowd erupted in applause, your strangled moan drowned out. Quill thrust into you hard, grunting as he came, and you clung to his shoulders as the two of you caught your breath.

He lowered you to the ground, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he tucked himself back into his pants and buckled his belt. You smiled, straightening your underwear and dress. Quill smoothed a hand over your hip, and you rolled your eyes at his appearance, straightening the collar of his shirt before reaching up and running a hand through his disheveled hair.

“You’re a mess.”

“You can talk,” he shot back sarcastically, an amused smirk curving his lips. He ran his thumb over your bottom lip, showing you the smear of lipstick he’d just wiped off you. You rolled your eyes, smiling as he leaned in to kiss you again. You leaned up on your toes, his fingers sliding into the hair by your ear. His other hand took hold of your hip, sliding to the small of your back. “You look like—”

“I just got railed in public?”

He snickered. “God, you’re so classy.”

You grinned, touching a hand to the back of your head. You could only imagine the state it was in. “You love it. Now, any idea how I can get to the bathroom without being noticed.”

“Nope.” he shrugged, wrapping an arm around your waist. “But we can probably slip out the back and head back out the ship.”

“What about the party?”

“I can think of ways we can have our own…”

You scoffed, letting him pull you into his side. You leaned into him, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. “God, you’re such a cheeseball.”

.

.

.

tags: @lovely-dreamer19 @wittyforachange @wefracturedmotivation @january-echoes @glossyloner @capitalnineteen @youclickedthislink​ @s0ftness​ @castieltrash1​ @bombardia​ 

[valentines-mango]

Apprehended

This is a small prologue to my series I want to see if I can start called The Scorpion and the Frog. 

Warnings: vulgar language, violence

Summary: Hank has a violent outburst that leads to all the members of the anti-AAHW to get caught. 

Prologue

Bullets ricocheted off the ground and off every cover the mercenaries could find. The men were completely surrounded, and it was all because Hank got too impatient. He charged into the agent riddled lobby and didn’t want to stop himself. Or better said, he couldn’t stop himself. Hank was known for having sudden outbursts of rage, but it’s only become more and more frequent in recent times. And because of this, the members of the anti-AAHW found themselves out manned, out gunned, and in way over their heads. Hank had bitten way more than he could chew this time. 

“Hank, they aren’t backing down, bud! We need to get out of here!” Deimos screamed behind a riot shield he stole from a dead agent. 

“We can’t hold them for much longer like this, man! Do something!” Sanford spat towards the assassin while also shielding himself, back to back with the hacker.

“Wimbleton, either hurry up and neutralize these fuckers or cover your team! We need to fall back, jackass!” 2BDamned turned and shouted towards what could be considered a brick wall of a man at this point.

“Ack!” One moment of frustration earned the disgruntled Doc the grip of a pistol to the back of his head, causing the man to fall to the floor. A grimy boot came up and landed firmly on his head as a gun met his forehead. 

“2B!” Deimos shouted as he lowered his shield and took aim with a pistol leaving him open to catch a bullet in his left shoulder.

“Dei!” Sanford ducked to cover the mercenary with his own body and shield only to get three bullets to his right calf and a knife to the hand that was holding the shield. They were now all exposed to the enemy and at their mercy. 

“Wimbleton,” a new, deep voice barked amidst the chaos, “I’ll cut you a deal. New orders from the boss say to let you and your squad live if you surrender now; otherwise, you can kiss this one and the others goodbye,” the figure knelt down and teased Doc’s head with the barrel of a loaded gun. Gunfire from the agents ceased at the word of their leader, the air was disturbingly still. The injured mercenaries couldn’t do much other than hope that Hank didn’t do anything stupid, but they were in a way already prepared to that outcome.

Hank was a cold and stoic person who didn’t care for much outside violence and bloodshed. It was a new and intoxicating feeling he had discovered after that one incident with the bastard with the boombox. But, he had found himself time and time again worrying and actually caring for his teammates: the men who risked everything for him and his cause. What kind of person was he to not even consider returning the favor in some way? Hank slowly let his arms drop to his sides, unable to think of a way to get out of this situation without any team casualties, and he let his weapons clatter on the floor. 

“Every weapon, Wimbleton. Drop them.” The voice boomed again, emitting a dangerous tone. Hank reached in his jacket and pulled out several more weapons. Under different circumstances this would have been quite a funny sight seeing as he kept pulling weapon after weapon from his jacket, like how a clown would keep pulling handkerchiefs from their sleeve; however, given that his comrades’ lives were all at stake, this was no time to laugh. Hank’s bloodshot eyes never left the engineer that stood over 2B as he swiftly disarmed himself; even as he tossed the last concealed blade to the side, those vermillion goggles remained trained on him.

“Good boy. Now get on your knees and put your hands behind your head… or else.” Hank complied. To think that Hank J. Wimbleton, Nevada’s most notorious killer, on his knees for the sake of his team, they could almost laugh at the seemingly bitter irony. Suddenly, the sharp, burning sting of two bullets entering his legs made him growl in pain as he was rushed by agents who beat him until it was his blood that was being spilled.

“You bastard! Coward!” Deimos yelled. 

“Oh hush, runt. We earned this. Do you know just how much of a pain in the ass you shits have been for us?” the engineer flashed a wicked smile and cackled, “Okay now, calm down boys. Let's get these losers to the boss and tell ‘em the good news: Hank J. Wimbleton and the anti-AAHW have been all apprehended.” The remaining agents chuckled and started bounding the injured men. Blood ran from Hank’s face as one final thought crept in his mind before losing consciousness as he and his wounded team were dragged unceremoniously into an AAHW van: This was his fault. All of it. 

[toshio]

I personally do not want to be a white twink. babygirl I like having black Oreo cookie nipples and a dark Hershey kiss bussy tbh they can shove their 150$ Patagonia sweaters and organic granola up dey white ass. I am happy to keep my so called nappy hair instead of that fluffy ass tik Tok white boy hair that flops around everywhere like a dam middle class golden lab lookin ass with their fine facial features looking like a lil boy when dey be pushin 25 lmao that anon is wack af. Would you ever pay that much for a SWEATER????

you’re so LOUD and you’re so RIGHT

[thou-can-say-azrail]

Even More Akatsuki Headcanons

(yes i have more leave me alone)

they have a swear jar and it single-handedly finances most of akatsukis expenditure and the pile of property damage complaints they get every day (its also the only thing keeping kakuzu sane)

deidara is terrifying when he is angry and i dont mean the yelling and the bombs, no when he is really angry he gets polite and smiles pleasantly with the coldest look in his eyes and can work out cunning plans that work without fault, all of the others have learned to never make him that angry 

sasori did the owl head thing were he turns his head 180° the first time in deidaras presence when the other came in the room to ask him something and scared the shit out of him it went something like this: dei: “danna are you su-” sasori: *calmly turns around with just his head*  dei: “$%%#’$&&/&!!#%$/%§” (kakuzu cried tears of happiness that day and he could have kissed pein for the swear jar idea)

deidara called pein mom once, it was the first time they ever saw konan laugh (she almost cried, pein just stood there contemplating his life choices)

itachi and dei may be prodigy shinobi and hate each other but they also share one braincell that barely works itachi who had 30min of sleep for the last 2 days: “what if onions abused humanity centuries ago and thats why we instinctively cry every time we cut one?”  dei, also sleep deprived af: “oh i just thought they pulled the uno reverse card, feel my pain and stuff” (kisame sits next to them and looks at them mildly concerned while sasori knows that he would have a headache now if he could)

this conversation: pein: *says something to konan* konan, annoyed: “kami, are you a pain in the ass” pein: konan: there is muffled laughter two rooms away cause the others are one the floor laughing (thats it)

part 1 part 2 part 4