#D.I. where are you

[carnagebleda]

anyways i'm not up to s6 of lost in my rewatch but who's gonna gimme an au where instead of s.ayid it's nat that gets i.nfected with the island's sickness and gonna gimme mother!nat in her flash-sideways verse?

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

In order to turn a very embarrassing moment of my life into something funny have this stupid Timbern au:

The Drakes are alive so Tim is still on track for being the heir of D.I. but is interning at W.E. for the summer because Bruce offered a position

Bernard has been interning at W.E. as well, for volunteering hours

The both work in a small, newer branch of W.E. that focuses on cultivating more information about Gotham’s history

Bernard’s there because it's the most teen focused thing and Tim’s there because he wants to figure where exactly the Lazarus pit is under Gotham so he can mess with Ra’s

They are currently stationed at an old house that was made into a museum which is managed by Wayne Enterprises, but since most of it is a museum there are only a few rooms to actually work, however it being a teen thing it’s very much choose your own hours so that prevents too many people from being there at once

Tim, who doesn’t want someone to come in a see the fact that he’s already finished cataloging all of the 2023 Donations to the museum and is instead using the time to further research the numerous curses in Gotham and/or watch Demon Slayer, is very happy about this fact and only comes at either the earliest or latest times so he gets a room to himself and only has to pretend to be going through boxes when someone checks on him

Bernard immediately messes up Tim’s plan

He’s always there- morning, night, even when Tim changes up his schedule

And no matter how many how many empty rooms there might be he always finds Tim and sits with him, even the time Tim tried to hide in the attic under the guise of organizing a couple boxes up there

Being the paranoid idiot that he is Tim assume that Bernard is a from the League of Assassins and enacts a 46-step plan to figure out what he’s planning (read: stalks him) and in the course of it ends up falling in love

Meanwhile on Bernard’s side, the first week of the internship he walked into the room Tim was in and wanted to be friends with the cute boy

The reason that he kept finding Tim was that he was talking to Dick Grayson, his gymnastics instructor, and Dick had realized that the boy in question was his honorary little brother and told Bernard that “Timmy’s shy, you just have to break down his walls to get to know him” and tells him when Tim’s going to the museum

Dick is well aware of what Tim thinks the situation is because he’s the one Tim rants to, but he thinks it’s funny and will make for a great story to tell at their wedding

[zedweek]

Zedweek 2024 Prompts!!!!!!!

Day 1: Dec 2

ZSMA:  It’s the anniversary of the series that started it all! Spanning four years, Zedaph’s Super Minecraft Adventure showcases Zed’s growth as a creator and contains countless silly moments! Farms and western villages, breakups and singing and time travel! Whether you embrace a younger Zedaph, a best build, or a favorite moment, it’s a blast from the past!

Free space: We know that Zed’s earliest series is also one that many haven’t seen, so this day is also open to anything that anyone wants to make! Get crazy with it! The only limit is your own imagination!

Day 2: Dec 3

Hermitcraft 5-6: Caves of crystal and bases galore, we’re going back in time! Featuring lovely characters such as Worm Man and Zedeath, season 5 and 6 give a lot to work with! The rise of the gaming district and the iconic Is That Sheep Looking At Me? entertained the Hermits, and our hero still found time to try his hand at aerial livestock delivery! The following season saw a Jack (Er. Zed?) of all bases, with 5 in total, but no one official base to call his own. Truly, the season of embodying what it means to be a hermit!

Hels: From the mind of Hermitcraft’s own Welsknight, Hels has taken the fandom by storm with its intrigue and possibilities. Explore what Zed’s own Hels could be like, create an elaborate theory where he is a Hels, or where he doesn’t have one at all! If anyone would transcend the rules of the universe to relax and simply share a meal with Evil Xisuma in the most dismal part of the universe, it’s surely the birthday boy.

Day 3: Dec 4

Hermitcraft 7-8: Settling into the Hermitcraft server, seasons 7 and 8 pushed our existing knowledge of Minecraft! From the Cave of Contraptions to the Sciscraper, Zedaph made it his mission to discover the secrets of Hermit psychology as well as some of the most useless functions in the game! Hang out for a round of golf or come up with an even less efficient contraption! There’s plenty of time for a new completely ethical experiment; the moon isn’t getting any bigger…Right?

Oddity:  Zed’s brain and body don’t quite work like anyone else’s, but that’s all the more reason to love him! This is a day to embrace everything that makes Zed peculiar, or to enjoy the peculiarities that he loves right back!

Day 4: Dec 5

Hermitcraft 9-10: Up for a challenge? This pair of seasons has plenty! Try your hand at an advancement or gamification, or design one for our guy! From falling at world height to cheeky spying to getting his friends caught on fire by an angry furnace, these seasons bring plenty of fun! Maybe get a little meta yourself and add a sneaky game to whatever you create!

Death: It’s a well-known fact that Zedaph toys with the cycle of death and life! To me, this seems like a great day to celebrate the way Zedaph celebrates death, whether it be his hundredth demise, making a game of ushering souls, or testing the limits of respawn! 

Day 5: Dec 6

Create: It’s important to properly enrich your Zedaph by letting him play with wrenches and gears with his eccentric friend every so often. Bite into a honeyed apple and feel the rush of being catapulted! Or catapulting your friends! Catapult everything!

Alternate Universe: Put this boy in a situation!!! Get creative and share the role another Zedaph plays (heh) in your story, whatever it may be! Alternatively, try and stop Zed from falling into another universe all on his own. He’s got portal technology, you know!

Day 6: Dec 7

Kris & Jack:  As long as I, Ell Cillpiines, am running this event, there will be always be a KnJ day. This is a day to appreciate Zed’s second channel in all of its filmy frenzied goodness and cast of characters! (D.I.)Why? Because a world without Kris & Jack isn’t a world I would want to be in!

Kris & Jack but in Minecraft this time: oooh you wanna think about them so bad

Day 7: Dec 8

Birthday!!!!!:  It’s a Zelebration! Grab a noise-maker and join the party however you see fit! Happy birthday, Kristopher Zedaph Plays!

[starkraivennemad]

The Last Friday

Greg stood at the window looking out at London lit in its holiday glory. “Last Friday of the year.”

It felt so incredibly right. Yet it felt so incredibly strange.

He could not help but smile slightly as he heard the peal of bells from the church a block over in the quiet room.

“For whom the bell tolls, eh?” Sally Donovan gave him a bittersweet smile.

“It tolls for me.”  Greg returned the smile.

It was time.

He looked around the room and handed Sally a small gift box as he headed for the door.

She teasingly jiggled the box and jokingly guessed its contents. Looking at Greg's face, she knew it was not a joke. She ripped into the box and gasped at the verification in her hands.

"Really? For me? Thank you!" There were tears in her eyes. “I surely thought the chief…”

“Oh, I threatened him with Sherlock, or I’m sure he would have denied it.” Greg laughed. There is no one more deserving, and he knows it.”

“Thank you!” She beamed but then demurred. “It’s all so…”

“It is…” Greg agreed and hugged her, “Stay, take it all in. Happy New Year, D.I. Donovan.”

“Happy New Year, Greg.”

Greg grinned upon seeing the black sedan and the now-former occupant of an office in the British Government who awaited within.

“What a difference a day makes, my good man?” Mycroft read his mood. “Ready?”

“Where were you, New Year’s Eve?” Mycroft Holmes had asked Greg some 360+ days ago. “Wishing I was kissing you.” Lestrade, sleep-deprived after a grueling serial killer case, accidentally but truthfully answered. “I’m getting too old for his shite.” “Same.” Mycroft concurred, then blinked, “What did you say?”

That began a most unexpected conversation that kicked off a chain of events culminating today.

The ending of one life and the beginning of another – together.

Detective Chief Inspector-Retired Gregory Lestrade-Holmes took a final look at the New Scotland Yard sign and stepped into the sedan with Mycroft Holmes-Lestrade.

“A day? Try nearly a year of them,” Greg kissed him, “And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m ready, my good man.”

-----------------------------------------------

Read/Comment on AO3

@mystradepromptsandscenarios

@flashfictionfridayofficial

@notjustamom

[brucewaynehater101]

What are some of your favorite hcs/aus on your blog? And what hcs/aus have you thought about/encountered outside your blog but wanted to explore more?

Hello 👋 Great ask!

My favorite AUs/HCs on my blog are the ones that other people join in to help. I just love seeing folks become inspired and what cool ideas they have to contribute.

Here are some:

Kon being able to hear Tim's heartbeat is a representation of Tim's ability to trust others

Tim as a doofenshmirtz villain for therapy

Tim as Bruce's parent

Tim keeps a weapon on him at all times when he returns from the BruceQuest because he's lost his sense of home/safety

Any time traveler AU with Tim where he doesn't join the Batfam again

Any Tim joins the Batfam late AUs

That one AU where Tim's parents lived and were decent folks

AUs where Tim uses D.I. to help folks and take over the world

Some other HCs/AUs I love:

An entire work during Jason's run as Robin that keeps hinting to his end/what happens after he dies

The batkids break into each others' safehouses/apartments even when the sibling is out of town

Tim periodically goes on vacation as a fake identity for the hell of it. He sometimes takes others to play pretend at roles (and create drama)

Babs finds ableist or sexist people online and either destroys them herself or sends Steph/Cass their address

Alfred polishes his guns and stands watch with them the entire time Joker is out of Arkham Asylum

Jason has another crime empire in another country. It was an accident, but it helps out the people there

Helena and Jason chat about policies Jason can implement in his gang/Crime Alley to help people

Duke gets up to YJ level chaos behind Bruce's back as well. He somehow manages to hide it due to him working the dayshift (since he doesn't leave Gotham as much as Tim)

I'm sure there's more, but here's a few!

[fellshish]

Broadchurch should have done glee style recaps where they read alec hardy to filth before each episode like d.i. hardy got turned down by a woman who shagged mark latimer and was finally able to relax when he lost consciousness due to heart arrhythmia and that’s what you missed on broadchurch <3

[akwolfgrl]

Of fur and fangs part 11

<part 10

Sherlock stared at the blond man standing before him. Only his family had ever praised him for his detections and never as enthusiastically or often as John did. It was odd but extremely pleasant, something he could become addicted to. He had to concentrate on the case and not on the blond who was already proving to be interesting. Which was harder than it had any right to be.

"Why'd you keep saying ‘suitcase’?” Lestrade asked.

"Yes, now where is it? She must have had a phone or an organiser. Also, find out who Rachel is." Sherlock demanded the raccoon shifter.

"She was writing ‘Rachel’?” The D.I. asked, slow as always.

"No, she was leaving an angry note in German," Sherlock snapped, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, "Of course she was writing Rachel; no other word works. The question is: why did she wait until she was dying to write it? And where is the suitcase now?" Sherlock snapped back, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Why didn't people just do as he asked? It would save so much time. He wouldn't need to berate them nearly as often if only they cooperated more.

"There wasn’t a case.” The silver haired man shook his head.

"What do you mean there wasn't a case? There had to be a case. She wouldn't have left looking like that," Sherlock said, gesturing towards the human women laying dead. She was a woman who cared greatly for her appearance. Her coat was damp, her lipstick worn down, her hair was mussed, and wind swept.

"Sherlock, there was never a case."

"Suitcase! Did anyone find a suitcase? Was there a suitcase in this house?” Sherlock called out after opening the door, hoping one of the other idiots had spotted it since Leatade was proving to be useless.

“Sherlock!” Lestrade snapped. “There was no suitcase. I already told you that."

"Maybe she left it behind in the car?" John asked.

Left in the car! Then the killer would have to dispose of it right away, can't be seen with a pink suitcase, it would draw unwanted attention. The killer made a mistake!

“Oh yes! I love serial killers. They always make mistakes. All of these are murders made to look like suicide. They take the poison themselves; they chew and swallow the pills themselves. There are clear signs. Even you lot couldn’t miss them. But there's someone else there with them every time, and they have just made their first mistake!” Sherlock needed to find the case. He quickly ran down the stairs. Giddy and eager to find the next clue.

“Oi! Where are you going!” Lestrade called out.

“Pink!” Sherlock yelled back in reply as he headed out the door.

He ran to where the dumpsters were nearby. He would start there. They must’ve dumped the case somewhere. It was the most logical dump sight. No one would notice if a pink case was in the garbage. At most, a homeless person might take it if it looked salvageable. Sherlock began rummaging through bins on every backstreet wide enough for a car to fit. He would find it even if it took all night. He almost didn't hear someone joining him.

“Need any help?”

Sherlock looked at John. With his nose, John might be able to find it first. Shifters had a better sense of smell than vampires. Between the two of them, it would go by much faster. After all, not even he could deduce the exact location of the case.

“Yes, start looking over there. I already checked the last couple of streets. You search ahead, any backstreet wide enough for a car to fit, though. He can't be seen with a pink case," Sherlock gestured towards the bins behind him with one hand and the other pointing ahead.

“Alright, no problem.” Sherlock watched John’s eyes turn to a silvery blue, different from his usual dark blue with a hazel ring. That was the second time today.

It was something to figure out. Sherlock wanted to deduce what John was. He already told him he wasn't a coyote-shifter. But before he got a good look at his eyes, John was off, headed for a street a couple minutes away from Sherlock. He refocused on the street next to him. Just in case the killer decided to dump the contents of the case into separate bins. It would have been what he would have done.

“Sherlock!” A voice three streets down called out

Sherlock quickly headed over to where John was standing, a trap pushed aside. He was standing in the dumpster holding up a pink case. Sherlock double-checked the tag.

Name: Jennifer Wilson

Address: 73 Wentloog Road, Cardiff, CF3 3HD

Phone & email: 07565 996385, jennie.pink@mephone.org.uk .

“Yes!” Sherlock was eager to look inside. He started to unzip it when a warm calloused hand covered his.

“It might be safer to take it back to Baker Street. Also cleaner, don't want to contaminate evidence,” John suggested.

Sherlock looked up at John, who was still standing in the dumpster. His eyes were darting around, keeping an eye out for any potential danger. He was definitely a soldier, a bit paranoid, but he had a point. That attention to his surroundings, always on guard, could be useful to him, John kept showing his worth without even trying to. This man would be someone to watch his back. However, he would need to find out if the good doctor would stick around. If he or his brother would scare him off. Clearly, the cases wouldn't put the man off, nor the fact he was a vampire. But with the case occupying his attention, that mystery would have to wait. Sherlock zipped the case back up.

“Fine. We will wait till we're back at the flat."

[freddie-221b]

That Scene From Broadchurch

but i wrote it :D (months ago)

The bench was damp through Hardy’s suit trousers, reminding him again of why he hated this bloody town. Water, everywhere. He couldn’t escape it here, everything, even the case, led back to the sea. There, under the shelter on the pier, the noise of the crashing waves was inescapable, the whistling of the wind through the sails of the boats docked in the harbour eerie, even to the D.I.

“You’re the last person I expected a phone call from,” said Dr. Baxter, a dark chuckle shadowing his voice.

Hardy’s tone of voice very much implied that he was the last person he expected to be calling. “You’re the first friendly face I’ve seen in months,” he said, accent thickening unconsciously in the presence of a fellow Scot. Finally a break from the relentless Dorset accents he seemed to be surrounded with.

“If I’m the friendly face, God knows what the rest of them are like.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Hardy responded, briefly turning his head to look at Dr. Baxter, before returning his gaze to the sea and the cliffs ahead of him. “It is another world.”

There was a pause during which Hardy fought the urge to brush his fringe out of his eyes as the wind tousled it. 

“It's a bit…cloak n’ dagger, Alec,” the doctor said, a questioning edge to the statement. Hardy never liked the hidden emotion in people’s voices. It bugged him. “Meeting me out here? What’s wrong with the office?”

Hardy grimaced and looked away, off towards where the station sat on the waterfront. “Small town, everyone’s eyes on ya.” He swallowed thickly, shaking his head. “Don’t like it.”

The way that everybody knew everybody made him almost miss working in a city, where the only people who knew you were the ones who knew you. He liked anonymity, anonymity was safe. Well, until everyone knew him, that was.

Baxter hesitated before saying his next words, fiddling absently with the zip of his windbreaker. Hardy still couldn’t fathom how this town somehow managed to be both swelteringly hot and near icy cold all in the same day. Bloody sea air, he thought grumpily. “I, er…went through all the results you sent me.”

“So?”

Dr. Baxter turned to him, face grim. “It’s not good, Alec.”

“No,” he sighed, shifting in his seat, leaning forwards slightly to rest his forearms on his thighs, not looking at him.

“You’ve got to change all of this! No stress, no pressure, nothing that’ll cause unnecessary exertion,” Baxter listed, for what Hardy was sure was the five hundredth time in the last year.

“I can’t,” he said bluntly, shaking his head again.

“You have teh!” He felt the doctor’s eyes on him as he stared at the cliffs. “If you don’t… you’ll end up dead.”

Hardy bared his teeth as he growled distastefully at his words. “Ah, you bloody doctors!” he said, drawing out the word ‘doctors’ mockingly as he glared at Baxter. “Always ‘do as I say or you’ll end up dead.’”

“I’m serious! Look,” Baxter pressed, and Hardy knew what was coming next. “I’ll make sure all the paperwork gets filled in, you can be invalided out.”

He flicked his eyes over to the station again. He knew Baxter was right. “Not ‘till I’m done here,” he argued flatly.

“You like it that much?” Dr. Baxter asked in disbelief.

Shooting him a glance and shaking his head, he gritted out: “No, I hate it! I hate the air, I hate the sand!” This place had genuinely been his worst nightmare to live in. Too much water, too much surveillance, too much…everything. It reminded him much more than he liked of his childhood, that visit to the seaside as a kid when his parents fought incessantly the whole time. “I hate the stupid people, I hate their bloody smiley bloody faces,” he spat, glaring up at the sky, pink and blue in the sunset. “I hate the ne’er ending sky…”

“Well…why be here at all?”

Hardy thought for a moment, rubbing his palms over his legs. He stared up at the sky, remembering the state he left the Sandbrook family in before coming here, the little girl whose photograph he kept in his wallet to remind him. He thought of poor Danny Latimer, lying on a slab in the Broadchurch morgue, his parents whose marriage was being torn apart by this investigation, things that would have been left happily undiscovered dragged out for the world to see. He thought of his wife and daughter, far away from him and his cursed life.

“It’s penance.” 

@princeloww

[detective-luca-montoya]

D.I. Sonata smooths down the front of their waistcoat before stepping into the grand doors of The Agency, their head held high and their step cautious but unfaltering as their eyes wander, taking in everything from the interior design to the type of light filling the room. After a month of wanting to visit The Agency but with no proper professional reason to do so and not knowing anyone working at there, they had finally gotten their hands on a case requiring special assistance their upstairs neighbour couldn't help them with.

Their eyes land on the person behind the large receptionist desk before roaming across its shiny surface to find a name placard and, after finding one and seeing the receptionist notice them, Sonata approaches and offers a polite smile as they hold up their badge.

"Pardon me Jacob, but I'm D.I. Sonata, and I've come across a bit of a snag regarding a case I'm working on." Their smile morphs into something sheepish as they quickly add, "And now, I gathered from y'all's site that regarding the supernatural y'all seem to specialise in hauntings and the like but well, is there any chance y'all also might be familiar with the supernatural community as a whole 'round here? Specifically vampires?"

@tenantof221c

“Well, that depends on the type of vampire we’re talking about here? Your true bloods and your twilights are really pretty harmless so long as they practice harm reduction techniques and avoid hunting people. You can leave them alone to just be hot and hook up with humans. Now as for your Draculas they’re a bit more dangerous. But infinitely more huntable. Find out what religion your vampire used in their human life and trap them in with its symbols (Pray they aren’t a diehard atheist). Also running water and salt circles will keep them off of you while you run to your house where they can’t get in. A stake through the heart or a decapitation will kill anything. Also maybe try and find a big window to open."

[aziraphales-library]

Hello,

I was wondering if you know any fics with A and/or C as detectives? Preferably in a historic setting but I’d be fine with any time period if that’s what’s available.

Thank you for all your hard work!

Hi. You might be interested in the kind of fics on our #spies and #murder mystery tags. Here are some detective fics...

You'll (have to) do. by Beautyandlove (T)

In light of the murder of six UK nationals at a resort in Calais, France, D.I Fell and D.I Crowley are sent there to catch the seemingly invisible killer.

The only pickle, really, is that they have to pretend to be married.

Which is fine. It’s not like Aziraphale sometimes wants to smother Crowley with a pillow or kiss him senseless, or anything.

Tadfield Heat by Shampain (M)

The scene is Tadfield, at the beginning of another perfect autumn. The cast? Two surly detectives, one MI-5 analyst, and a trigger happy CIA agent. The problem? Sergeant A. Michael won't shut up about the graffiti the village just can't seem to get rid of.

If you're looking for intelligent people doing intelligent things, maybe don't click here. For the Good Omens Big Bang!

yours in black lace by okapi (E)

Hardboiled, hell-fried private investigator Anthony J. Crowley is just trying to survive a hot, boring August, but a new case and a series of anonymous naughty letters signed only 'yours in black lace' are about to make things interesting.

Chapters 1-3 are case fic. Chapter 4 is smut.

For the 2020 DW Unconventional Courtship challenge based on a summary of the Mills & Boon novel Yours in Black Lace by Mia Zachary.

the many-venomed earth by curtaincall (T)

It’s the trial of the century: bestselling mystery author Anthony Crowley stands accused of poisoning his former lover. He’s got means (arsenic), motive (the breakup), and opportunity (a meeting the night of the murder); his guilt seems certain.

Certain, that is, to everyone except Lord Aziraphale Eastgate, rare book collector and amateur detective. Aziraphale’s not sure why he’s so convinced of Crowley’s innocence, but he’s determined to save him from the gallows--by finding the real murderer before it’s too late.

Tadfield's Finest by angelsnuffbox (E)

The sleepy town of Tadfield is thoroughly shaken by the arrival of DI Crowley. Where barely anything ever happened before, there is now a bustle of low grade criminal activity, and everyone knows where to point the blame. Gabriel thinks he's a bad omen for the town, many others are quick to agree. Meanwhile, Aziraphale from SOCO just thinks he's hot. Ridiculously so.

It's A Hard Life by Krisdaughter_of_Athena (M)

“Crawly” was the best delivery man in the whole city of London, and everyone knew it. Whether it be books and flowers, or narcotics and guns, Crawly was the one for the job. Easy enough for Crawly to slip in and out of tight spaces, and easy enough to keep his real name off the police radar.

Detective Constable Aziraphale Pritchard is used to being told he is not very good at his job. He is as surprised as everyone else when he is the officer to catch Crawly, the Devil’s infamous delivery driver, in the act. He is the only officer to figure out Crawly’s real name. But no one else knows that, otherwise they’d also know that the DC tends to get drunk with this particular member of the notorious Demons every other Thursday, and would also know of the fragile Arrangement between the two. Aziraphale knew it couldn’t last.

However, what are the two to do when Crowley is given an extra special delivery, one which places the two unlikely allies alongside each other for the long haul? How will they keep the delicate balance of their arrangement from their respective sides? And how will they keep one boy from bringing destruction to the entirety of London?

- Mod D

[softsnzstuff]

Thinking about an overworked detective who just caught a big break in the case having to stand out in the rain at night overseeing a crime scene investigation (or something) when he’s already got a bad cold 🤤🤤

——

I’m here to request this!! 🤭

Ask and you shall receive!! Getting back to my roots with some classic M/ystrade goodness.

Summary - D.I. Lestrade has caught the worst cold in a long time but he’s stuck working a new lead in the case thanks to Sherlock. Mycroft stops by and fusses. As per usual. 🥰

Dedicated to @snzagaba for encouraging me to write it and also to my lovely Anon for requesting 💕

The winter rain hammered the pavement all over London, icy winter chill freezing people to the bones. Most people were inside their warm homes at this time of night, but Detective Inspector Lestrade was out near a construction site.

Sherlock had informed him earlier that they needed to go to the site immediately and search for the discarded backpack that would lock up the suspects for good - nasty fellas involved in a brutal child murder.

Greg wasn’t sure how Sherlock always managed to do it, but he hadn’t been wrong yet. This time he was on about the way the suspect wore his belt. Had to give away that he worked construction in the side.

The consulting detective and his partner were standing under two umbrellas, Sherlock barking orders at the dog team. Greg was without umbrella, soaked to his shoes.

“HURRRDSH!!”

He snapped forward, water droplets flying off the soggy whisps of hair.

Sherlock shot him a glare that said ‘you’re interrupting my thinking’.

“Bless you.” John offered before turning back to face the scene with sherlock.

With Mycroft away on business this week, no one was around to tell him to get some rest. The DI had been working late nights at Scotland Yard every day this week, running himself ragged. By Wednesday he’d already started coming down with one hell of a cold. Donovan and Anderson avoiding him by Thursday.

The silver haired man used a wet hand to try and wipe the rain out of his eyes - an effort that was futile. He pulled an already damp tissue from his pocket and coughed harshly into it.

The cough sounded worse than it was - two decades of smoking seemed to have that effect on Greg whenever he fell ill.

“You’ll catch your death out here, Gregory.”

The man in question turned around and was met with none other than the British government himself holding an umbrella over them both.

“ii’GSHHH! Heh’RRRDSHUH!”

Mycroft huffed a sigh, always startled by how loud his partner could be.

“I thi’gk I already have…” Greg mumbled from behind the tissue. He blew his nose, practically turning it to confetti.

“For heavens sake Gregory, do throw that useless napkin away.” The younger man removed a clean and pressed handkerchief from his suit’s breast pocket and handed it to the detective who was already putting it to good use.

“H’eTCHiew!”

“Bless.” Mycroft pursed his lips as he strode over to Sherlock and John.

“Ah, brother. You’ve gained weight.” Sherlock quipped.

Mycroft rolled his eyes, “Could you perhaps hurry this up, brother dear. Detective Inspector Lestrade is unwell.”

“What Grant?”

“You know his name, Sherlock.”

The younger of the Holmes’ brothers shouted at the crime scene investigators who were digging in ponchos.

“Not there you idiots. Your other left!! For Christ’s sake Anderson, didn’t anyone teach you directions?? THERE!”

Right where sherlock pointed, someone hit something solid. After a couple people joined in the digging, it was unearthed as a backpack. THE backpack needed to crack the case.

“Detective, I think you’ll find the backpack was exactly where I’d thought. Inside you’ll found damning evidence that the banker did it all along for the insurance claim. We’ll be on our way now.”

Sherlock turned on his heels, John apologizing but following after him.

“Is that enough to get you home and into some dry clothes then?” Mycroft asked. “Anthea has the car ready to go.”

“Erm… let me make sure Donovan can handle this before I just snfff leave them…”

Mycroft made a note of his partner’s growing congestion. He’d prepare the humidifier later that night.

A few moments later, Greg was trotting back over through the rain.

“Alright, she’s got it. Don’t suppose the British government can summon me a towel?” He teased.

The window of the car rolled down and Anthea handed one over. It was warm as if it had just come out of the dryer.

“How did you-? Nevermind…”

“Don’t mumble, Gregory.” Mycroft ushered him into the back of the car. “Let’s tend to that cold of yours, shall we?”

[yesyourstalker]

Neta: ok everything is set up. Just a couple interviews. Warabi!

Warabie: hmmmmmm

Neta: warabie

Warabie: hmmm what?

Neta: I need you to manage for a little until Mahi comes in. I forgot they had orientation today and they had no time to reschedule everyone. (Clap clap) [Signing] Seth, I know you have four clients scheduled today for piercing. Help warabie when you're able to.

Seth: cool

Warabie: hmmm My stomach still hurts from the tattoo and it's still healing.

Neta: *sigh* then sit down or lean across the counter. I don't know what you want me to do. You shouldn't have gotten that if you can't handle the pain yet.

Seth: I told you it wasn't good to do it all in one sitting, I could have scheduled you for another session. But I have to say you did take it like a champ

Neta: I have no time to argue with you I have interviews I have to get to. If someone asks for an interview to send them to the back of the office.........

___________________ interview one_______________

Neta: so what would be your greatest strength?

Naomi [inkling]: uhhhhh...ummm.... I ....I'm regsijtfh

Neta:....I'm sorry can you repeat that.....

Naomi: uh.....I'm.........................hm

Neta: take your time I'm in no rush.......... It says here on your resume that you're an artist you intern at inkpin publishing you worked on several mangas. That's pretty impressive want to tell me about that?

Naomi: uh....uhhhhh..........I'm sorry......[ Leaves]

Neta: oh.... wait! Uh...ok...*sigh* She left her phone. She'll be back maybe she calms down.. we can get somewhere.

_________________Interview two__________________

Neta: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Vinny [betta fish] definitely not in prison again hahaha! Uhh ohh shit ummm.... Being serious in 5 years? Maybe a manager or an assistant manager of this store.

Neta: really? Ok.... You used to work in a kitchen

Vinny: it was more like a cafeteria but yeah I used to prepare the food I actually made the menus for the week. See I used to tell the corrections offic-uhhhh- I mean my head manager what they needed to order for the week so I can get my team to learn the recipes and to make them meals.

Neta: so you like cooking?

Vinny: not necessarily. I kind of got into it because I just wanted to belong and be a part of something and I didn't want to join a gang..so.....uh.....

Neta: uh huh

Vinny: I just really like that kind of busy work environment. It keeps me on my toes and keeps me preoccupied. I really work well in high stake environments and I like being involved with people who also enjoy that environment. I also really like music and I used to be in a punk band back in the day it was called D.I. DIE.... Kind of sounds like DIY like do it yourself-You get it.

Neta: That's interesting... What did you play?

Vinny: drums, I used to play drums. It was really good at it never played in a while. I hope Betty didn't sell my set after I got locked up

Neta: ok ........ All right. Here's the thing this interview was pretty decent..... Once the background check is complete. Expect a phone call.... Next week around Tuesday okay?

Vinny: really?

Neta: yep... We just need to do the background check and you're set

Vinny: ..... Right, my background check...uhhhhh about that

Neta: listen man... I don't judge. What you've done in the past I probably did worse. You came here, you applied for a job you passed the interview. It's very obvious that you want to turn over a new leaf. I'm willing to help you with that... Just expect the phone call and an email and will be....SET AHH

Vinny: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! HAHAHA

Neta: ah ha ok ok you can put me down now....hehe cod you're strong....

Vinny: I also took up weightlifting when I was inside.

_______________ interview three__________________

anemone:...........................

Neta:.................................... So.... What would you consider to be your greatest strengths

anemone:...ehhhh ...... I don't know...... My honesty I'm very honest person

Neta: ok ...... That's good.... Resume seems fine.... You said that you play guitar and you're in a band. Tell me about that

anemone: ugh..... I'm in a band and I play guitar That's it.

Neta:...................*sigh* shit he's one of those.......ok. in a group setting, how well do you work with-

anemone: okay let me just lay it straight to you. I'm available Monday through Thursday. I do not work Fridays. I'm available in the mid shift and closing shifts. I don't do mornings I never have and never will. You have my resume and my phone number you can call me on weekdays around 12 to 5 . After that I'm not picking up see Tuesday. Bye.

Neta:................................ .*sigh*........ We need more closers anyway.

__________________ interview four________________

Neta: what would you consider your biggest achievement

Fugue [puffer fish] My great is achievement? I would say I was one of the few to be picked to play at the scuba dome during the rainbow night symphony orchestra. I was one of the youngest only 15 at the time.

Neta: Yes That's very impressive. I actually read that in the paper you used to Seiche high of the arts. I'm trying to get my daughter into that school next year.

Fugue: yes that was me. Played the tuba It's a wonderful school. I'm sure she'd love it.

Neta: That's very impressive. So why do you want to work here?

Fugue: well I'm trying to save up to go to college I'm trying to get into Brackish University they have a really good music program.

Neta: Brackish!! get out of here! My fiance goes Brackish!

Fugue: oh I'm well aware, ikkan right? That's very impressive, he must have a good reputation. They don't really take back many people once they drop out. If it's too much to ask, what instrument did he play for his audition? I'm assuming it was a bass an upright one right?

Neta: you'd think that but he actually did play the bassoon. He's actually the only one in his marching band in high school to play the bassoon

Fugue: He must have been very skilled. You don't see that many bassoons in band.

Neta: yeah.. he's very talented and hard-working. Most of it was self-taught you know outside of school and everything

Fugue: yeah.... Are you self- taught?

Neta: yeah.. I taught myself... I used to watch music videos and I used to copy their- oh Man we're out of time. I'm sorry we trailed off. I didn't even get to finish the interview

Fugue: oh I'm sorry so do I reschedule or

Neta: nah... you have the job kid. You seem like a really good kid and you have a lot of head of you. I'll send you an email and call you Tuesday okay?

Fugue: thank you sir.

Neta: aw what fine young man. We need more kids like that in this world.

_______________________________________________

Neta: it seems to be everyone... I still need to do the baristas but I have to wait for AHhhhhhh.....uhhh Stefan, you're here..... Great.... You could have said something

Stefan [betta]: sorry.... I didn't mean to startle you.....so...... Let's talk I'm thrilled to be a part of this store expansion

Neta: right.... First, how are you doing? How's business?

Stefan: business is great. I finally have my coffee in Mako March. I never thought I'd seen my brand...................in a discount chain store...............umm

Neta: I mean hey! If it makes you feel better It's the most expensive one in there.

Stefan: well of course it is. It's the best quality coffee out there. It should be the most expensive........ Anyway, did you hire me a barista for the shop

Neta: yes.....well I do have a candidate for that store. They are my last interview. They should be here in........ Maybe 30 minutes ......

Stefan: um...

Neta:..........so............. How's your father?

Stefan: he passed finally

Neta: oh.... I'm sorry to hear that.

Stefan: don't be. Its what we all wanted.

Neta: Was it peaceful?

Stefan: it was. he went in his sleep.... We were all prepared for it to happen so we had everything ready.

Neta: yeah that's how my mom passed. My aunt told me she just closed her eyes, dozed off and just never woke up

Stefan: and that's all we can ask for, no pain no suffering just go, when you're ready, you're ready...... I buried him with his prize possession

Neta: let me guess a coffee machine-

Stefan: A stove top espresso and coffee maker

Neta: of course

Stefan: it was his first ever coffee maker and used to make My mother and I coffee with that every day till the day he died. He cherished it like it was a child, Unlike how he cherished me.

Neta: oh...ok that's uh

Toguni: excuse me. I'm here for the interview for the barista job

Stefan: he's early..... Very Punctual

Neta: Right you must be ehhhhhhhh.......... Toguni!! You're the one I sent the email to!

Stefan: hello you must be my apprentice

Toguni: oh uh...wow your...

Stefan: Stefan the reinventor of coffee. Yes I know. Nice to meet you. sit down please I insist make yourself come through right next to me.

Toguni: Yes sir

Neta: well thank you for showing up today the interview will be short and simple I just want to get to know you and you're just going to answer some questions-

Stefan: Tell me what's your relationship with coffee?

Neta: Stefan

Toguni: un-

Stefan: what is your favorite type of coffee?

Toguni: I love coffee

Stefan: what is your opinion on cold brew

Toguni: hu-

Stefan: if I give you three cups dark roast, medium roast and light roast, how fast could you tell them apart? And if abel can you tell me what brand of coffee I give you?

Toguni: iiiiiii

Neta: Stefan, you're making him nervous

Stefan: what is an Americano?. Huh what is that? That's a genuine question. What is an Americano like what is that? What does that even mean? Neta you know history? What is that?

Neta: the Americano is named after a location during the mammalian period it was the first to be destroyed during world war-

Stefan: I don't need to hear one of your history lectures!!!!

Neta: your the one who asked

Stefan: what is the difference between a cortado and a flat white

Toguni: oh! I can actually answer this-

Stefan: quiet! be quiet, shut your mouth and I've had enough.......................

Toguni: ..........

Stefan:........................ I like you.... You don't sound like you're from here. Where are you from?..... Don't answer that.... I like you. I really do

Tagami: * gasp* really so I'm hired

Stefan: no. Not yet. You need to make me a single cup of coffee. Your choice.

Neta: We have a coffee maker in the break room but it only uses K-Cups

Stefan: no, he's not making that type of coffee. That's what you call coffee is an insult and abomination and you need to be ashamed of yourself for even suggesting that we use that coffee machine!!... *Sigh*.... here's my house address. You shall show up to my house at 7:00 a.m. I have all the materials needed. You make me one cup of coffee and if I like it........ You're hired.

Toguni:.........uh.................yes sir you said 7?

Stefan: Great! Be there at 7:00. I'll see you then. I see a lot of potential in you. Good bye....

Toguni: ......... .. ......

Neta: I'm .....so sorry. He's a fucking weirdo I don't know why I agreed to work with him. Listen you don't have to do any of that if you don't want to... I can

Toguni: I can't believe I'm going to his house. I'm going to Stefan's you make him a cup of coffee. I thought this was just going to be like a crappy part-time job

Neta: hurtful

Toguni: I have to. I have to go home. I have to practice I have to .. Make coffee....bye thank you for the interview!

_______________________________________________

Neta:* inhale* * exhale*.......

anemone: that guy was a fucking weirdo

Neta: ...... yeah he is ....... Why are you still here?

anemone: I just wanted to see all the other freaks I have to work with....... And they're definitely freaks *huff*

Neta: well, you're going to have to tolerate them.... Hey, maybe after a couple days you might actually like some..... Maybe you can let go of this mean facade you have on and actually make friends.

anemone: I have friends

Neta: ehhhh I don't believe you ... Trust me this whole 'thing' that you have going on, that's how I wasted my teenage years. Trust me.

anemone: *humpf*

Neta: *sigh* I still have that Naomi girls phone wonder if she's-

Naomi: I'm back! I'm sorry I panicked....uhhhhh I uh i.........

Neta:...........

anemone: heh...

Naomi [faces away. Eyes closed] .....*sigh* One of my greatest strengths. I like to show up early and on time I don't like being late. I know that I didn't show it today, but I am actually very reliable............ I don't really have a uh......uh...... Life..... outside of work so I am available whenever you need me. Just call me at any time and I will show up.

Neta: what did you choose this job?

Naomi: Truth is that.. My therapist wants me to go outside and interact with people... .... and suggest getting a part-time job...... to further improve my social skills....... I decided on rockshock because I like music. ........ and I like the alternative community and that it caters to.... People in the alternative community, though they look scary. They are actually very welcoming and patient and I feel like that would be a good environment to start my journey in to social interaction

Neta: well I must say you were right on that......... You forgot your cell phone on the table...... I'll call you next week for orientation okay?

Naomi: ok .....*huff* ok. ..... I'll be going. Thank you... he's so nice.

Neta: It's no problem.

anemone: I gave give her a week

Neta: shut up

anemone belongs to @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

And Toguni belongs to @conkreetmonkey

And neta belongs to...oh me he belongs to me nvm

[piraticaltwit]

d.i chandler + brainstorming session / 3.02 ↳ where do you go to be in the dark in the daytime where everyone can see you but no one can see you?

[apocalypticwafflekitten]

I think you’re the person I follow who likes him so I wanted to make sure you saw these

Yessss!!!! Thats me! Hi!!! Thank you so so much for blessing my inbox with Sacha’s face! 💗 These pictures have me going feral and I’m so excited to watch The Wolf! I’ve seen gifs from the show and let me tell you, I am obsessed. Sacha looks so good as D.I.Honey and I adore the yellow rose robe look. It’s everything to me. I don’t have a way to watch The Wolf where I’m at but hopefully I’ll be available to me soon and I’ll be able to properly fawn over D.I. Honey.

But yeah! I’m super excited for The Wolf and thank you so so much for sending me pictures of Sacha!!!

[starkraivennemad]

The Cold Detail

Being security detail for Mycroft Holmes was both an honor and a horror show.

All of Holmes’ security detail must run the minimum two-year gauntlet of the horror show of being on the detail for Sherlock Holmes before being rewarded to protect Mycroft and Anthea as space opened.

But Sherlock is not the problem for Agents Marcus Derrico, Anand Sajjadul and the others on their rotation. They were the part of the secrete security of someone else important to Mr. Holmes.

Detective Inspector  Gregory Michael Lestrade.

Their orders simple: do not interfere or help with his job, and above all do not let Lestrade see you.

So complete is their noninterference, there were a few times where Lestrade had lost a suspect who outran him. Twice with Sherlock on the chase as well - that is not their job. Lestrade may never learn how they kept a criminal’s accomplice from nearly getting the drop on and assassinate him – that is their job.

It was fine until someone slipped up. Derrico and Sajjadul heard about the dressing down the discovered detail received before they were shipped somewhere to chill for their failure to remain invisible. It did not stop Mr. Holmes from keeping Lestrade protected. After a year, it was with a resigned détente that Lestrade accepted they were a secret part of his life to the point the guards now on rotation were certain Lestrade had forgotten they exist which was perfect.

Until tonight.

Accustomed to waiting on Lestrade as he chased leads, the two agents followed him to a warehouse. The old brick and concrete structure was abandoned, the ceiling had caved in places and had no power. One of the rooms had been the scene of a grisly crime. Forensic had documented everything and the scene released nearly a week ago. Neither agent knew why Lestrade would want to enter the building on a freezing cold day, this close to sunset, but there they were. They could not drive into the lot and maintain their illusion of invisibility. Thus, Sajjadul drew the short straw and followed Lestrade to the front entrance only while Derrico waited in their nice warm car a block away.

Sajjadul had heard Lestrade muttering to himself as a door closed loudly. Yes, Lestrade had his phone and his torch, but Sajjadul really wished he had not gone into an abandoned building at nightfall alone. It had been cold earlier and little warmth provided by the sun vanished with its setting and it was now bitter cold. Sajjadul knew Lestrade’s natural body temp ran hot and was envied how the D.I. was walking around bare headed when he himself would kill for another layer of warmth on his head.  

“God! It’s gold as a witch’s tit out here! What the bloody hell is he doing?” Sajjadul pushed his earpiece in more, pulling his hat down further over his ears. The temperature had dropped to the point that awning that had dripped in the sun when he first stood at the entrance had refrozen into stalactites.

“Fuck all if I know. He’s no Holmes, but he is damned smart copper. Probably following some obscure hunch.” Derrico responded.  “Let’s hope he does it quickly get somewhere warm!”

“I haven’t heard anything, not even walking around. Somethings not right.” Sajjadul said after a while of much too quiet. “I should go in…”

“We’re not supposed to interfere …”

“We’re not, we’re confirming he’s okay.”

“Sajjadul, wait! Remember Naer and Corley?”

Sajjadul gave a moment’s pause at the reminder of the two agents banished to a location that would make their current local feel balmy.

“YOU want to tell Holmes something happened to the man while  we were debating Schrodinger’s Lestrade?”

“Christ no!”

“Establishing a visual wellness check...” Sajjadul pulled a torch from his coat pocket and went in.

It was as he feared– oh so cold, very dark, and much too quiet except for an odd thud as he walked.

“Wait… I think I hear somethi …” Sajjadul started to speak, then stopped. “Derrico…? Anand..?”  He heard nothing but silence and realized the concrete and brick obstructed even their communications. A quick check verified that his cellphone was also useless.

The thuds he heard before, now silent.

He began to worry as he carefully made his way to the crime scene.  

“He’s not here?” He flashed his torch around the room. “Shite!”

The thud he heard earlier began anew. It was louder, and faster, yet weaker. He knew it was Lestrade.

He followed it to a room with a stuck door. The thudding stopped when Sajjadul slammed his body into it. It took a couple of tries before it finally opened.

The room’s ceiling was too high for Lestrade to reach. With no windows and no mobile reception even with the hole in the partially caved in roof, Lestrade had been trapped in the freezing room with no cell phone reception and no heat source. There was little chance he would have survived the night.

“This is going to hurt.” Lestrade moaned painfully as he unfolded his chilled bones to stand.

Even so, Sajjadul did not enter the room. He slipped back into the shadows and pretended he did not hear the barely audible “Thanks…” whispered as Lestrade painfully made his way out of the room.

He silently followed Lestrade out of the warehouse, where Derrico had also broken protocol. Their sedan awaited them at the entrance.

A very grateful Lestrade climbed into its empty warmth and was taken home by Derrico while Sajjadul drove Lestrade’s car to be found in its parking spot when he awakened in the morning.

“I can’t tell…” Sajjadul sighed before their shift’s end. “Should we tell him?”

“I’m not…”

Neither Sajjadul nor Derrico reported the incident.

They realized Lestrade himself must have informed Mr. Holmes when each had received an unexpected increase in their pay and a month’s holiday in the nice warm Caribbean.   ------ Read on AO3

[wulfs-book-reviews]

Blood Lines (D.I. Kim Stone #5), by Angela Marsons

Blood Lines by Angela Marsons My rating: 3 of 5 stars "Blood Lines" by Angela Marsons initially grabbed my attention with its suspenseful and gripping story. It certainly is a page-turner, and for a while, I was convinced that this was a solid four-star read. The premise was intriguing, and the pacing kept me engaged, making it easy reading at first. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm waned as the story progressed. »She was not as surprised as she should have been that Alex had come crashing back into her life.« The return of Alex Thorne, an old foe, felt contrived, and Alex’ actions seemed almost universally outlandish. Why resurrect old villains when you can create new, compelling antagonists? And let’s be honest, she's unbelievably manipulative and cartoonish. It severely impacted my enjoyment to see such a lazy plot device used. It’s just more of the same, nothing new—and, of course, Kim fell for it almost every time… If you—like me—didn’t enjoy “Evil Games” (Kim Stone #2) all that much, be prepared for more “blasts from the past”—including a dying scene so utterly clichéd to the extent that it induced secondhand embarrassment. Then we have the storyline itself: the plot became increasingly contrived, and some connections Kim made were thread-bare. On a more positive note, the dynamics within Kim’s team are as engaging as ever. One of the team members, though, made several mistakes to the point where it became difficult to suspend disbelief; these errors had no real consequences – a "good bollocking" seemed to suffice, rather than any meaningful repercussions. »Emotion. Because you have none you can’t even begin to understand how they affect people’s actions.« This gross oversimplification of a sociopath's abilities, especially given that Alex had demonstrably understood emotions, and used them to great success throughout the novel, was grating to say the least. This also reflects badly on Kim’s understanding of her foe. Overall, "Blood Lines" had the potential to be a brilliant crime thriller. It started promisingly but ultimately failed to deliver on its initial appeal. Three stars out of five. Ceterum censeo Putin esse delendam View all my reviews