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ham1lton · 1 month

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WELCOME TO MIAMI

pairings: (platonic) oscar piastri x reader.

summary: after the miami grand prix, you and some of your fellow drivers go out for karaoke and drinks for ‘bonding’ according to a certain lando norris.

warnings: mentions of alcohol and strip clubs. also you pretend to be oscar’s wife and there is mentions of alleged infidelity but it’s obviously fake.

author’s note: this is slightly long but i promise you it’s worth the read. this is my apology for being inactive due to uni so let me know if you enjoyed! also i made the meme at the end and i’m proud of myself so cheer me on :D

— part of the maneater series ꕤ.

“i’m just not in the mood lando.” you throw yourself onto your very comfortable hotel bed. the sheets were soft and pillowy, are these thousand thread sheets? you don’t know what they were but they sound fancy. you flip yourself onto your back. “karaoke sounds awful right now. i need to be alone to drown my sorrows.”

“don’t be so dramatic y/n.” you can practically hear george’s eyeroll through the phone. he’s snatched lando’s phone for himself now. “this’ll be good for you.”

“i lost embarrassingly to max, it was the worst race of my entire career! i don’t deserve to celebrate or have fun.”

“you got p4.” george’s voice is deadpan. “get out of your hotel room, stop wallowing and i’ll get logan to pick you up.”

“why me?” logan asks in the background. “get an uber maneater!”

“she won’t come if no one forces her!” he’s right, you think bitterly. you would have ignored the uber even if the driver came up to your hotel room door and knocked five times. even if he opened the door and threw a bucket of cold water on your head and then threatened oscar’s life.

you knew why logan had to be the one to pick you up. it couldn’t be george. he’s annoyed you recently. he beat you to getting the podium today. it couldn’t be lando because he’s supporting george’s antics of dragging you out. it couldn’t be alex because he didn’t text his girlfriend to ask her about where she got her cute t-shirt that she wore on his recent instagram dump. you really liked that t-shirt. “logan is on his way. we’re giving you thirty minutes and if you’re not outside, i’m calling sebastian.”

“NO!”

“YES!” before you can try and rebuttal his statement, he’s hung up on you. well, there is no way you’re going out so george russell and his clique can shove that up their asses. you open netflix, and get yourself ready for a quiet night in.

one hour later, you found yourself at the karaoke bar that the guys had rented out for the night. logan running up to you, swinging the car’s rental keys around his fingers.

“i want you to know,” you breathed out, giving him the side-eye. “i hate this. i truly do.”

“i know.” logan nodded.

“i hate you.”

“know that too.” logan nodded again. “which isn’t fair really. this isn’t my fault.”

“fine. i hate you and all of them.” you gestured at the karaoke bar where lando had already gotten a few shots in his system and was belting out a britney song. “god. this is a bastardisation of a classic.”

“you know lando.” logan shrugged, opening the door for you. “after you.”

“since when were you a gentleman?”

“since i was about 76% sure that if you didn’t go before me, you’d order an uber and go straight back to the hotel.”

“i was thinking that.”

george is already slightly drunk when he spots you, opening his arms wide at your entrance. alex is sipping on a bottle of imported beer. very pretentious.

“maneater!” george grins. “the party don’t start till she walks in!”

oscar looks like he’s already regretting this. oscar and you had been best friends ever since you realised you both had a low tolerance for bullshit. you roll your eyes at george who pretends to pout but uses it as an excuse to order more shots.

“did they drag you out too?” oscar nods, like every movement pains him. “you want something to drink?”

“no. i’m hungry.”

“i think the only place open right now besides here is a strip club.”

“they have food?”

“let’s google.” after a few searches on your phone you find out the strip club has a menu. “apparently they serve chicken wings and fries.”

“let’s go.”

“wait!” you grab oscar’s arm. “you can’t go to a strip club! think about the optics or something. the media will spin it like ‘crazy f1 sex-addicted rookie’. is that what you want your legacy to be?”

“i won’t have a legacy if i starve to death.” oscar rolls his eyes. then he turns to logan. “throw me your rental keys logan, maneater and i are going to the drive-thru.”

“no.” george says sternly. as sternly as one can be while slightly drunk and a shirt that loses a button every ten minutes. how was it looser than it was two seconds ago? “you can’t leave. if you leave, you won’t come back.”

“okay?” oscar raised an eyebrow. “we’re grown george. you can’t keep us here.”

“one song and you can go.”

“that’s ridiculous.”

“one song. that’s all i’m asking.” george raises his hands. “then you can leave. unless, you’re too chicken.”

“i’m very much chicken. bye.” oscar gets up to leave before you stop him.

“c’mon. one song isn’t a bad compromise and we’re already here.” you shrug. “might as well.”

“you can do it. i’ll watch.” you stick your tongue out at oscar’s reluctance.

“lando, will you do it with me?”

“sure as long as i’m choosing the song!” lando grins as oscar gives you both the side eye. you weren’t much of an adrenaline junkie off the track and in private, you were very different to the maneater persona you would show in public. lando chooses nelly furtado’s ‘promiscuous’ but he sings her parts and you sing timbaland’s. you kill it, if you do say so yourself.

as soon as you’re done, oscar holds up the keys to the rental that logan had brought you in and you follow him out on your search for dinner. as you and oscar make your way to the car, you realise that the only place open for food at this hour is, unfortunately, that strip club down the street.

"you're kidding, right?" oscar gives you a disbelieving look.

you shrug. "hey, they serve food and you’re hungry. desperate times call for desperate measures."

with a reluctant sigh, oscar unlocks the car and you both climb in. you arrive at the strip club, the neon lights flashing in the night. as you enter, you can't help but feel a little out of place amidst the scantily clad dancers and dimly lit atmosphere.

“we're not staying for the show," you say firmly to oscar as you approach the bar.

"i wasn’t trying to," oscar looks around warily.

the smell of greasy food wafts over from the corner where a small kitchen is tucked away.

"we're really doing this," you mutter to oscar as you make your way to the bar.

"yep," he replies, already scanning the menu for chicken wings.

before you can order, a vivacious stripper saunters over, batting her eyelashes at oscar. "hey there, handsome. looking for some company?"

oscar looks taken aback for a moment before he quickly recovers. "uh, actually, we’re just here for the food. we heard you do… food?"

the stripper arches an eyebrow skeptically. "sure you are hun. what's your story, then?"

you jump in, trying to come up with a believable excuse. "we’re... celebrating our anniversary! yeah, that’s it. we wanted to do something wild, and crazy and spontaneous."

oscar nods, playing along. "exactly. seven years together, can you believe it?"

“you look so young.”

“she keeps me young.” oscar winks and then immediately regrets it. he turns slightly pink.

the stripper eyes you both suspiciously. "hmm, anniversary, huh? and you're at a strip club?"

you nod enthusiastically. "yep! we’re... adventurous like that."

the stripper shakes her head, clearly not buying it. "uh-huh."

you turn to oscar, a mischievous glint in your eye before turning and pouting at the stripper. "he cheated on me, you know."

oscar’s eyes widen in confusion. "wait, what?"

you nod solemnly. "yeah, with my yoga instructor. can you believe it? i guess that’s what happens when you let another girl bend your man over.”

the stripper scoffs, shaking her head. "honey, now why would you take a cheater to a strip club? that's like taking a carnivore to the butchers.”

oscar jumps in, eager to exonerate his fake persona. "actually, she cheated on me too!"

the stripper raises an eyebrow. "oh, really?"

"yeah, with my dentist," oscar deadpans. “imagine how i felt… lying on the chair getting my tooth drilled into while my wife was at home getting a different hole drilled.”

“well, you cheated with the milkman!”

“he gave me something you never could.” oscar sniffs.

“milk?”

“no. love.”

“i’ll get that order started for you.” she gives you both the side-eye. “i’ll leave you two lovebirds with your marriage issues. you need anything else give one of us a shout.”

you and oscar turn to each other and laugh.

“DENTIST?” you giggle. “couldn’t you have picked a sexier profession for me to cheat on you with?”

oscar chuckles, shaking his head. "hey, a cheating dentist is funny."

“fair point. but a milkman? really?"

"i had to think fast!" oscar defends himself. "i didn’t get time to prepare."

"true," you agree, wiping away tears of laughter. "i just hope our story doesn't end up in the tabloids."

oscar shrugs. "eh, if it does, at least it'll be entertaining."

you both continue to joke and laugh as you wait for your food.

"who knew a trip to a strip club could be so much fun?" you smile as you eat. the food was good at least.

oscar grins back. "only with you, y/n. only with you."

afterwards, you go back to meet with logan, lando, alex and george at the karaoke spot. george is singing a dramatic duet with alex to the tune of lady gaga and beyoncé’s ‘telephone’. lando is grinning while filming and logan is just staring, like he’s watching a car crash. too grotesque to look at but too insane to look away.

george spots you and points dramatically, motioning for you to join them. you exchange a look with oscar, both of you knowing that you can't resist the call of the karaoke stage.

as you approach the group, you can't help but notice the absence of one key ingredient: a one direction song.

"hey guys," you say, catching their attention. "this is fun and all, but i think it's time we mix things up a bit."

george raises an eyebrow. "oh yeah? and what did you have in mind?"

"a one direction song," you declare with a grin. “in front of everyone.”

the boys exchange skeptical glances, clearly not convinced.

"we can't do that," logan protests. "it's too... cheesy."

"come on, logan," you coax, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. "you owe me for dragging me here."

“that wasn’t even my decision!” logan sighs, knowing he's been cornered. "but i’ll do it, only if oscar does it too."

you turn to oscar, who looks less than thrilled at the prospect. "come on, oscar. remember that time you forgot my birthday?"

“i was in hospital! i had a reason!”

“still forgot it!”

oscar groans. "fine, i’ll do it. but this better not end up on the internet."

you turn to george and alex, who are watching the exchange with amusement. "you guys in?"

george grins. "i'm always up for a challenge."

alex nods in agreement. "sure, why not? carpe diem and all that.”

lando, of course, is already on board. "let's do it! who’s who?”

“i’ve already thought about it. here me out.” you start. “lando is harry, curly haired and british.”

lando fist-bumps you.

“alex is zayn.”

alex rolls his eyes. “because i’m an asian brit too?”

“okay i didn’t think about that but it kind of fits.” you think. “i meant it because zayn’s obviously the best.”

alex grins, obviously pleased with the flattery. george stares at you, impatiently tapping his foot.

“hurry it up y/n. who am i?”

“liam.” george thinks about it for a moment and then shrugs. “he’s the leader of the group and you created our groupchat and this meetup.”

“i can deal with that.”

“oscar is louis because he has the least amount of lines and i thought he’d appreciate that.” oscar smiles. “logan is niall because… blond.”

“how come they all got actual thought put in to theirs and i’m niall because i’m blond?” logan raises an eyebrow.

“blond was the best i could do on short-notice.” you shrug. “but hey, he’s irish! who doesn’t love the irish?”

“fair point.”

you move over to the machine and start to play ‘kiss you’ by one direction. as the familiar beats fill the karaoke bar, you can't help but feel a surge of excitement. this is going to be epic, whether oscar likes it or not.

oscar, looking less than thrilled, reluctantly takes his place on stage, shooting you a glare that says, "you owe me big time for this."

logan, standing awkwardly beside him, shifts uncomfortably, clearly not used to being the center of attention. you give him an encouraging smile, silently urging him to embrace the moment. you’re only a f1 driver/one direction cosplayer once, right?

lando, fully embracing his role as harry, struts to the front of the stage, oozing charisma and charm. alex, begrudgingly accepting his role as zayn, follows suit, trying his best to channel the brooding bad boy persona.

george, ever the showman, takes center stage as liam, belting out the lyrics with gusto. despite his initial reluctance, even oscar starts to get into the groove.

as for logan, well, he may not be the most enthusiastic performer, but he's giving it his all, his awkwardness somehow adding to the charm of the performance.

you, meanwhile, stand off to the side, phone in hand, filming the entire spectacle. this is going straight to your social media, no doubt about it.

as the song reaches its climax, the entire group comes together in perfect harmony, their voices blending seamlessly as they sing their hearts out. it may not be the most polished performance, but it's definitely one for the books. as the final notes fade away, the bar erupts into cheers and applause, and you can't help but feel a sense of joy as your friends amble off the stage and you all head out into the cool night.

liked by bestie1, logan.priv and 32 others.

maneater.priv: shoutout miami for having so many foreign babes 😋

view 34 comments.

bestie1: who are the foreign babes you speak of? i just see a bunch of white dudes and alex.

-> maneater.priv: um actually we have many 🤨 lando and george r british, alex is thai and british and oscar is aussie 😋 in america, they all foreign and logan may not be foreign but he’s a babe.

-> logan.priv: nicest y/n comment. possibly the y/n comment of all time actually.

oscar.priv: delete the last slide.

alex.priv: lily said she’s gonna text you the link to that shirt you liked.

-> maneater.priv: i knew i liked you for a reason.

oscar.priv: i know you see these (your full government name). DELETE.

lando.priv: how did you go to a strip club with oscar before me??

-> maneater.priv: me, u and vegas. we’ll go crazy.

-> lando.priv: YIPPEEE 😁😁

oscar.priv: blocking you btw.

george.priv: told u that you’d have fun!!!

-> maneater.priv: sorry i can’t agree with a man. ruins my street cred.

-> george.priv: what street cred?

-> maneater.priv: DELETE!!!!

-> oscar.priv: speaking of things that need to be deleted… delete the last slide 🙄

-> maneater.priv: no :D

oscar.priv: how would u feel if i shipped u with another driver?

-> maneater.priv: that depends… is he a hot one?

-> oscar.priv: no.

-> lando.priv: 😔

-> george.priv: stop being mean to lando oscar.priv.

-> oscar.priv: he deserves it.

-> george.priv: 213.40.205.53

-> oscar.priv: i hate it here.

#jayde’s works ☆#maneater ꕤ #formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 smau #formula one imagine #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri x reader #op81 imagine #op81 x reader #f1 grid x reader #just let me adore queue ♡ ྀ

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toosoontotellyouily · 2 months

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WERE YOU SENT BY SOMEONE WHO WANTED ME DEAD???? DID YOU SLEEP WITH A GUN UNDERNEATH OUR BED?????? WERE YOU WRITING A BOOK???? WERE YOU A SLEEPER CELL SPY??? IN 50 YEARS WILL ALL THIS BE DECLASSIFIED AND YOULL CONFESS WHY YOU DID IT. AND I'LL SAY G O O D R I D D A N C E !!!!! CAUSE ITS WASNT SEXY ONCE IT WASNT FORBIDDEN!!!!! I WOULDVE DIED FOR YOUR SINS INSTEAD I JUST DIED INSIDE!!!! AND YOU DESERVE PRISON BUT YOU WONT GET TIME. YOULL SLIDE INTO INBOXESSS AND SLIP THROUGH THE BARS. YOU CRASHED MY PARTY AND YOUR RENTAL CAR!!!! YOU SAID NORMAL GIRLS WERE "boring" BUT YOU WERE GONE BY THE MORNING?! YOU KICKED OUT THE STAGE LIGHTS BUT YOURE STILL PERFORMING AND IN PLAIN SIGHT YOU HID. BUT YOU ARE WHAT YOU DID. AND ILL FORGET YOU BUT ILL NEVER FORGIVE the smallest man who ever lived.

#the tortured poets department #the smallest man who ever lived

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rawritzrobin · 2 years

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Brooding Alpha

Characters: Derek Hale, Stilinski!Twin, Scott McCall, Stiles Silinski

Pairings: Derek Hale x Stilinski!Twin Reader

Summary: You already had a brother and dad who treated you like a baby. You didn’t need a boyfriend who did as well.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: None! Unless you count an overprotective wolf.

A/N: Winter break is here. :D Have some angst, with a happy ending.

“I can take care of myself Derek. You don’t always have to treat me like a porcelain doll.” Your eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

“Babe, there’s a group of alphas out for blood. It’s clear they have some vendetta against me. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have gone after my betas. They want to hurt me and the easiest way is through you.”

“They’re not going to do something in broad daylight! I can’t just skip school and stay here so you can watch all day like a little puppy.”

You were in Derek’s loft, waiting for Stiles to pick you up. Instead of going to Heather’s party, you decided you wanted to keep Derek and Isaac company for the night. You had grown to love Isaac like a third brother, Scott being number 2. It hurt to see him so scared.

You told Stiles you didn’t want to go to Heather’s party because you and Isaac had to work on a school project together. He was too busy thinking about Heather to care whether or not you were attending. You were hoping for a relaxing night with Derek and Isaac. Maybe a movie and some cuddles with your Alpha. That wasn’t the case.

“Besides, Scott and Stiles are with me 24/7. Isaac too! And you forget that Alison comes from a family of trained hunters! Also, my dad is still the sheriff!” You emphasized the last sentence by raising your hands up high and huffed in annoyance. You were sick of everyone around you treating you like a baby. Stiles and your dad were already so overprotective of you. You didn’t need another man in your life who saw you as a weak damsel in distress.

“You know I don’t think that Y/N/N. I just want to make sure you’re safe. And the safest place is here with me at the loft, not at school with a pair of twin alphas!”

“No means no Derek. I’m not staying here.” You said before storming out of the loft. Derek wasted no time chasing after you. Isaac stayed out of your lover's spat. Lucky him.

“Where are you going?” He asked with a hint of anger and annoyance in his voice.

“Stiles should be here soon. Or do you not trust me walking down the stairs to the entrance by myself? Do I need a big strong man to walk me to my brother's car too?” You said, not bothering to turn around.

“Y/N! Listen to yourself…”

“I am Derek. And unlike you I trust that I can take care of myself.” You spat back at him. A part of you knew he was just being a good boyfriend that was concerned about his girlfriend’s well being, but you were too angry at the moment to think logically.

“Don’t come by tonight.” You tried to say angrily. It only came out kind of sad.

Derek stopped in his tracks. Derek stopped by almost every night ever since he stayed over that first night. It was nice, for the both of you to have someone on those lonely nights. It had become a kind of routine for you both. Comfort when you both needed it.

You didn’t turn around to see his reaction. You pushed open the front door of the building, just in time to see the blue Jeep pull up. You quickly wiped the tears from your eyes and faked a smile.

“How was the party?” You asked as you quickly jumped in.

Stiles sighed in annoyance. “Don’t want to talk about it.” He said.

Bummer. Looks like we both had a rough night.

“Hey, let's stop by the movie rental place and grab a movie and some snacks?” You asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Stiles looked down at you and his eyes softened. It had been a while since you two spent some time together. Well some time together that didn’t involve a supernatural being. He kind of missed it. Though he would never outright tell you.

“Only if I get to pick the movie.”

You laughed. “Okay fine. But I get to pick the snacks!”

“Deal!” He said loudly and started making his way to the movie store.

*****

After watching Stiles’ horrible not so scary movie and eating your weight in ice cream and chips, you two said your goodnights, and went to bed. You kept looking at your window, part of you expecting Derek to still show up tonight. You watched the time go by in silence, sleep never catching you once.

1 AM became 2. 2 became 3. You sighed in annoyance when the clock finally hit 3:30. You don’t know what you were expecting. You told him not to come. Why would he come? You were the one who wanted to prove you were capable of taking care of yourself anyways. You didn’t need him to hold you to sleep. You have been sleeping by yourself for years now.

You finally turned off your desk lamp and plopped your head onto your pillow. Sleep didn’t come easy that night. But you finally gave in eventually.

What you didn’t know was that there was a certain someone waiting in the woods that night. Derek sat himself against one of the large trees near your neighbors yard and waited until your night turned off before sulking off back to his loft. He wanted to apologize, but he was afraid of what you would do if he showed up when you specifically asked him not to. He knew how you were sometimes. You just needed some time to cool off.

You didn’t wake up to a good morning text that morning.

You laid in bed a little longer than usual. Stiles had to knock on your door to ask if you were ready before you pushed yourself off of your bed. Part of you just wanted to skip school and go straight to Derek’s loft and apologize. He was right to some degree. You weren’t going to give up and stay at his loft all day. But you did need to stop sneaking out at night and away from the pack.

School went by in a blur. Stiles and Scott could tell there was something off about you. You hadn’t said a word all day and wasn’t actually glued to your phone for once.

“Everything okay?” Scott asked. Scott was one of the ones who knew about you and Derek. It was really hard to hide the fact that you always smelled like him. He had his suspicions, and confirmed his suspicions when he walked in on you kissing Derek the night you two rescued him from Kate.

“It’s nothing. Derek and I had a fight last night.” Stiles ran off to the library to do some research on something. It was just you and Isaac so it was a safe place for you and Scott to talk about Derek.

“Just so you know, Derek wasn’t all too happy this morning either Y/N.”

You just sank into your chair further. You shouldn’t have said what you said last night.

“Scott, I found it!” Stiles screamed, jumping onto the back of you and Scott. Clearly not sensing the mood around him. “Oh and Y/N, can you hitch a ride with Lydia after school today? I have to stay late today for detention.”

“Ugh Stiles. What did you do this time?”

“I had to borrow some books from a certain teacher’s collection. It happened to be locked in his desk and someone happened to catch me. But I found the info we need!”

Great. You thought to yourself. You knew Lydia didn’t drive today and that she had a date with Jackson after school.

“I can take you.” Isaac offered. You smiled. You loved Isaac. He was the closest thing to Derek you had right now.

After school Isaac and Scott walked with you to the parking lot. You were too distracted all day to realize Isaac didn’t have a car. Before you could say anything, you saw a very familiar black Camero sitting in the back of the parking lot. You looked up and glared at Isaac, fully aware of his scheme now.

“I can’t stand it when you and Derek fight. I have to deal with his moody self at home, and then your moody self at school. It’s too much brooding for me.”

You tried to turn around in the other direction, but Isaac quickly grabbed your shoulder before you could turn.

“Common. He’s just giving us a lift home.” He said pushing you forward. Scott opened the door for you and you stepped in, avoiding eye contact with Derek. You could feel his eyes on you though.

“Hey Isaac don’t we have that history project we need to work on?” Scott said suddenly.

“Oh I forgot about that! You go along first Y/N. Stiles can take me home when he's done with detention.” He said quickly, closing the door behind you. You huffed in annoyance and crossed your arms around your chest, frowning through the window. You tried your best to glare at the two boys walking away from the car, but to no avail.

“Y/N.” Derek said sadly.

You didn’t look at him, you crossed your arms tighter and turned away. You were still angry at the boys for tricking you.

“Y/N, i'm sorry. I-I shouldn’t have suggested that you couldn’t take care of yourself. Hell the one of the reasons I fell in love with you was because of the way you were able to handle yourself with those hunters that night. I know you’re strong enough to protect yourself. But I just.. Don’t want anything to happen to you because of me.” He said sadly.

You slowly looked in his direction. His hands were slumped to his side, and he held his head down. You noticed some dark bags under his eyes. You didn’t even know werewolves could get bags under their eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept a wink last night. You were starting to feel guilty.

“I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.” He said in a whisper.

Derek couldn’t look up at you. He felt so guilty. Everything he said last night was just his strange way of wanting to keep you safe. He didn’t sleep at all. He kept trying to think of ways to apologize to you. Thank god Isaac texted him when he did. He wasted no time getting here.

“Der.” You said, quietly.

Derek looked up at you with his big puppy dog eyes. You smiled at him and placed your hand on his thigh. He took your hand in his.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You said giving his hand a light squeeze. “You need to trust me though. I'm not just some stupid high schooler who goes looking for trouble.”

Derek raised his eyebrows at that one.

“Okay I am. But you also have to trust that I know what I’m doing and that I have a circle that is capable of keeping me safe. Let’s also not forget that my dad is the sheriff of the town and he made me take at least 50 self defense classes when I was little.” You said with a smirk.

“Okay fine. But only because I know Isaac, Erica, and Boyd are always with you. When I’m not around.”

“What about Stiles and Scott?”

Derek laughed. You chuckled too after realizing what you said. You leaned back into your chair and relaxed, never letting go of his hand.

“Let’s say we go home yeah? Well, your home. My dad might shoot you on sight if you show up at our place during the day.”

Derek laughed and quickly drove you two back to his place.

Later that night, Isaac walked in on you two cuddling and laughing on Derek’s couch. You gave him a thankful smile when he walked past you two.

He walked away smiling as well. It was always good to see papa and mama wolf in a good mood.

#Derek Hale x reader #Derek hale x y/n #teen wolf #derek hale #stiles stilinski #Teen Wolf x Reader #Derek Hale x You #Derek x Reader #Derek Hale Imagine #Derek Hale One Shot #Teen Wolf Fanfiction #stilinski!twin #iwritethings

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mostlysignssomeportents · 9 months

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Union pensions are funding private equity attacks on workers

On October 7–8, I'm in Milan to keynote Wired Nextfest.

If end-stage capitalism has a motto, it's this: "Stop hitting yourself." The great failure of "voting with your wallet" is that you're casting ballots in a one party system (The Capitalism Party), and the people with the thickest wallets get the most votes.

During the Cultural Revolution, the Chinese state would bill the families of executed dissidents for the ammunition used to execute their loved ones:

https://www.quora.com/Is-it-true-the-Chinese-government-makes-the-families-of-executed-people-pay-for-the-cost-of-bullets

In end-stage capitalism, the dollars we spend to feed ourselves are used to capture the food supply and corrupt our political process:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/04/dont-let-your-meat-loaf/#meaty-beaty-big-and-bouncy

And the dollars we save for retirement are flushed into the stock market casino, a game that is rigged against us, where we are always the suckers at the table:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/25/derechos-humanos/#are-there-no-poorhouses

Everywhere and always, we are financing our own destruction. It's quite a Mr Gotcha moment:

https://thenib.com/mister-gotcha/

Now, anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. We are living through a broad, multi-front counter-revolution to Reaganomics and neoliberal Democratic Party sellouts. The FTC and DOJ Antitrust Division are dragging Big Tech and Big Meat and Big Publishing into court. We're seeing bans on noncompete clauses, and high-profile government enforcers are publicly pledging never to work for corporate law-firms when they quit public service:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/09/nein-nein/#everything-is-miscellaneous

And of course, there's the reinvigoration of the labor movement! Hot Labor Summer is now Perpetual Labor September, with 75,000 Kaiser workers walking out alongside the UAW, SAG-AFTRA and 2,350 other groups of workers picketing, striking or protesting:

https://striketracker.ilr.cornell.edu/

But capitalism still gets a lick in. Union pension plans are some of the most important investors in private equity funds. Your union pension dollars are probably funding the union-busting, child-labor-employing, civilization-destroying Gordon Gecko LARPers who are also evicting you from the rental they bought and turned into a slum, and will then murder you in a hospice that they bought and turned into a slaughterhouse:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/26/death-panels/#what-the-heck-is-going-on-with-CMS

Writing for The American Prospect, Rachel Phua rounds up the past, present and future of union pension funds backing private equity monsters:

https://prospect.org/labor/2023-10-04-workers-funding-misery-private-equity-pension-funds/

Private equity and hedge funds have destroyed 1.3 million US jobs:

https://united4respect.org/press-release/people-who-work-at-walmart-sears-amazon-formerly-toys-r-us-more-join-forces-together-as-united-for-respect-2-2-2-2-5-3/

They buy companies and then illegally staff them with children:

https://www.dol.gov/newsroom/releases/whd/whd20230217-1

They lobby against the minimum wage:

https://pestakeholder.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Insire-Brands-memo-on-15-wage.pdf

They illegally retaliate against workers seeking to unionize their jobsite:

https://www.hoteldive.com/news/dc-hotel-workers-enlist-us-representatives-to-fight-sofitel-union-busting/650396/

And they couldn't do it without union pension funds. Public service union pensions have invested $650 million with PE funds. In 2001, the share of public union pensions invested in PE was 3.5%; today, it's 13%:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1B0vv26VEFmwtfw5ur6dSDMY8NftvZKij/

Giant public union funds like CalPERS are planning massive increases in their contributions to PE:

https://www.calpers.ca.gov/page/newsroom/calpers-news/2023/calpers-preliminary-investment-return-fiscal-year-2022-23

This results in some ghastly and ironic situations. Aramark used funds from a custodian's union to bid against that union's members for contracts, in an attempt to break the union and force the workers to take a paycut to $11/hour:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2012-11-20/pension-fund-gains-mean-worker-pain-as-aramark-cuts-pay

Blackstone's investors include the California State Teachers Retirement System (CalSTRS). The PE ghouls who sucked Toys R Us dry were funded by Texas teachers.

Then there's KKR, one of the most rapacious predators of the PE world. Half of the investors in KKR's Global Infrastructure Investors IV fund are public sector pension funds. Those workers' money were spent to buy up Refresco (Arizona Iced Tea, Tropicana juices, etc), a transaction that immediately precipitated a huge spike in on-the-job accidents as KKR cut safety and increased tempo:

https://www.osha.gov/ords/imis/establishment.inspection_detail?id=1675674.015

Petsmart is the poster-child for PE predation. The company uses TRAPs ("TrainingRepaymentAgreementProvision") clauses to recreate indentured servitude, forcing workers to pay thousands of dollars to quit their jobs:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/04/its-a-trap/#a-little-on-the-nose

Why would a Petsmart employee want to quit? Petsmart's PE owner is BC Partners, and under BC's management, workers have been forced to work impossible hours while overseeing cruel animal abuse, including starving sick animals to death rather than euthanizing them, and then being made to sneak them into dumpsters on the way home from work so Petsmart doesn't have to pay for cremation. 24 of BC Partners' backers are public pension funds, including CalSTRS and the NYC Employees' Retirement System:

https://prospect.org/culture/books/2023-06-02-days-of-plunder-morgenson-rosner-ballou-review/

PE buyouts are immediately followed by layoffs. One in five PE acquisitions goes bankrupt. Unions should not be investing in PE. But the managers of these funds defend the practice, saying they "facilitate dialog" with the PE bosses on workers' behalf.

This isn't total nonsense. Once upon a time, public pension fund managers put pressure on investees to force them to divest from Apartheid South Africa and tobacco companies. Even today, public pensions have successfully applied leverage to get fund managers to drop Russian investments after the invasion of Ukraine. And public pensions pulled out of the private prison sector, tanking the valuation of some of the largest players.

But there's no evidence that this leverage is being applied to pensions' PE billions. It's not like PE is a great deal for these pensions. PE funds don't reliably outperform the market, especially after PE bosses' sky-high fees are clawed back:

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3623820

Pension funds could match or beat their PE returns by sticking the money in a low-load Vanguard index tracker. What's more, PE is getting worse, pioneering new scams like inflating the value of companies after they buy and strip-mine them, even though there's no reason to think anyone would buy these hollow companies at the price that the PE companies assign to them for bookkeeping purposes:

https://www.institutionalinvestor.com/article/2bstqfcskz9o72ospzlds/opinion/why-does-private-equity-get-to-play-make-believe-with-prices

To inject a little verisimilitude into this obvious fantasy, PE companies sell their portfolio companies to themselves at inflated prices, in a patently fraudulent shell-game:

https://www.ft.com/content/646d00f4-af5d-4267-a436-54fb3bc1697b

What's more, PE funds aren't just bad bosses, they're also bad landlords. PE-backed funds have scooped up an appreciable fraction of America's housing stock, transforming good rentals into slums:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/27/extraordinary-popular-delusions/#wall-street-slumlords

PE is really pioneering a literal cradle-to-grave immiseration strategy. First, they gouge you on your kids' birth:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/27/crossing-a-line/#zero-fucks-given

Then, they slash your wages and steal from your paycheck:

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3465723

Then, they evict you from your home:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/05/vulture-capitalism/#distressed-assets

And then they murder you as part of a scam they're running on Medicare:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/05/any-metric-becomes-a-target/#hca

As the labor movement flexes its muscle, it needs to break this connection. Workers should not be paying for the bullet that their bosses put through their skulls.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/05/mr-gotcha/#no-ethical-consumption-under-capitalism

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

#pluralistic #labor #pensions #finance #private equity #toys r us #Rachel Phua #kkr #bain capital #calpers #aramark #Private Equity Stakeholder Project #RefrescoArizona Iced Tea #CalSTRS #Roark Capital #child labor #blackstone #PSSI

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gremlingottoosilly · 4 months

Note

Not a request just wanted to say I went to emerald city comic con and it was cool and there were lots of cool COD cosplayers. I only really told one I liked there cosplay but they all looked super cool!

Also if I may ask do you tend to buy or make cosplay? I’m an amateurish cosplayer and I’m planning on making a genshin cosplay but just figuring out how to get all the little pieces and details is difficult.(honestly I’m more making it for the validation of other cosplayer since most cosplays I’ve worn have been more or less pretty simple). Anyway thx for reading :D

(don't forget my insta - @captaingremlin) Hello!! I used to sew my own costumes(for Madoka and BlackCat!Diva), but I moved out of my parent's house and out of the country after I finished school, and I didn't want to bring a sewing machine to a rental apartment, so I'm buying costumes now. I usually just tailor them to my needs and do renovations that don't require a lot of manufactured stitching. For example, for my Kokomi dress from DokiDoki cosplay, I sewed another layer of sparkly fabric underneath to make it more sparkly, I reinstalled all the furniture(because the stitches from the seller tend to be kinda flimsy and you need to resew them so nothing would get lost) and added even more crystals and sparkles all around. I tend to be a maximalist cosplayer, so this is my style - as many jewels on the face as possible, ton of wig accessories and reusable details from other suits. It's easier when you have a ton, so if you're going for your first ever cosplay from Genshin, I'd recommend either getting a cheapest possible version(if you're on a budget) and do renovations on your own, OR go for Uwowo and DokiDoki. Uwowo is a bit cheaper if you're living in Europe, and it's much faster than DokiDoki. Just don't order Uwowo from their store at Aliexpress, they are usually 30-40 dollars more expensive there. Genshin is really hard to make on your own, with all tons of details, so you can invest in the wig instead. For wig styling, I just the tiny crimper and a hair straightener, and that's it. Just crimp the wig with tutorials and then decide if you want it to be super fluffy and curly or more canon. I go for curly and fluffy style, since it can cover a lot of imperfections in the wig material, and I cover it even more with accessories. I usually go for non-canon Genshin cosplays from Uwowo and DokiDoki since I don't really like canon designs, so I can only give advice on limited number of characters( I tend to buy every possible costume for the wig that I own, so now I have 5 Kokomi costumes in my closet and another 3 in plans. Also, don't be afraid of using tape!! For my Ganyu cosplays, since I'm barely a B size, I used a lot of push-ups just kinda sticking to the costumes with medical tape, so the costumes would fill up a bit. Also, about the sizes - if you're ordering from a Chinese brand, they tend to be smaller than American/European ones. I'm 47 kg and I usually go for S/M(even though I'm XS in European size) but if you're having doubts, it's better to buy a bit larger and just sew it yourself. Also - petticoats!! You don't have to but a fancy one, just buy some petticoat skirts from party shop, it's literally makes any dress better...and also, please don't forget safety shorts if you're wearing skirts. I was wearing a schoolgirl Kokomi with extremely short skirt while bending over an aerohockey stand and then I didn't understand why there was a line behind me made from teenage boys.... Also - just use lash glue for everything, even if you're sticking something on a wig. It's better than superglur if you want to restyle it later.

#cosplay #genshin impact #genshin cosplay #cosplayer

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trickphotography2 · 1 year

Text

D-Day by TrickPhotography | Chapter 5

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female!reader

Word count: 4.7k

Synopsis: After finding out his girlfriend is pregnant, Jake is ready to move in and get married. The last thing he expected was to be hit with a six-month deployment at sea and missing the birth of his first child.

18+, minors DNI

Chapter 4 | Master List | Ao3

---------------------------------------

Chapter 5

The car idled in Jake’s driveway as you took a moment to appreciate the relative quiet. His townhouse - a duplex - was surrounded by families in a subdivision. Kids ran in yards, yelling at one another, while their parents washed cars and mowed lawns.

It was worlds away from your complex, where the only greenery was a small patch of grass on the walkway and wilted potted plants. While you loved your actual apartment, the area left something to be desired, and the tenants skewed younger, which meant parties on the weekends and loud arguments. But it was a roof over your head, affordable, and had met the minimum criteria when you’d flown out to find a place over a weekend trip. A year later, staying put was easier than moving again as you saved up to buy your own place.

The front door opened. Jake stepped out onto the porch, a hint of a smile playing on his mouth as he walked closer. He wore a pair of grey shorts that hugged his thighs and an untucked white button-down, making you feel better about your casual shorts and teal t-shirt. Your lips curved in an answering smile as you turned off the car and opened the door before reaching for your purse and grocery bag in the passenger seat. “Hey,” you said, stepping out and shutting the door with a bump of your hip.

“Wasn’t sure if you were gonna come in or not,” he chuckled, reaching for the bag.

Smirking, you looked up at him. “Were you planning to run me down in your bare feet if I peeled out of here?”

“Nah,” he replied before tipping his head. “Would probably get the sheriff over there to issue you a speeding ticket, though. Speeding in a residential area is dangerous - all these kids playing? He might even slap some cuffs on you and take you straight to jail.”

“And what would that do for your reputation in the neighborhood?” you asked as he took your hand and led you towards the house.

“I’m a single guy surrounded by families - not sure how much more mixed my reputation can get.”

“What do you mean?” He opened the door and motioned you inside. You toed off your flats and put your purse on the side table before glancing at the living room. Jake shrugged, walking past you towards the kitchen.

“Some don’t care that I’m here. Others think I’m a creep around too many kids. Some of the military wives ask me for help when their husbands deploy, and I get side-eyed when they get back.”

“Oh.” He deposited the bag on the counter and turned to face you. His expression was one of forced nonchalance as he shrugged again. Stepping closer, you wrapped your arms around his neck; his hands fell to your waist.

“The revolving door of women parked in your driveway probably doesn’t help, either.”

“‘Revolving door’ is a bit of an exaggeration,” he said, leaning down to brush his lips over your cheek. “A couple of them were parked there a few times.” Scoffing playfully, you pushed away from him and turned. His hands shot out to wrap around your hips, threading his fingers through the belt loops of your shorts and tugging you back into his chest. “Gonna confuse the hell out of them when they see you parked there all the time.”

“Don’t worry - the rental will help keep up your playboy image once I get my car back,” you laughed.

“That mean you’re already planning on coming back?” Jake rested his chin on the top of your head.

“You never know. Play your cards right, and I just may.”

Though you couldn’t see it, you could hear the smile in his voice when he asked, “Can I get you anything to drink? Beer, soda, water, wine? I’ve got some stronger stuff too.”

“I grabbed some wine on my way,” you replied, tilting your head to glance up at him,” but if you have some open already, I’m not opposed.”

“Told you that you didn’t have to bring anything,” he playfully chided. Gently, he turned you and backed you up.

“It’s considered rude to show up empty-handed.” Shaking his head, Jake lifted you onto the counter and positioned himself between your legs, hands resting beside your hips. When he swayed closer, you smiled and raised an eyebrow. “Hi.”

“Hi. Red or white?”

“Depends. What are you making?”

“Figured I’d throw a couple of steaks on the grill with some vegetables.”

“Oh,” you said, leaning away and chewing your lower lip. “I, um… I’m a vegetarian.”

“Shit,” he groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “I should have asked. Darlin’, I’m sorry, I can order something and get it delivered, and next time I’ll…” His eyes narrowed as you pressed your lips together, eyes widening in faux innocence. “Didn’t you buy chicken yesterday?”

“Chicken is totally a vegetable.” You squeaked when he squeezed your side. His green eyes flashed, and he grinned, digging his fingers into your ticklish spots. Shrieking, you attempted to wiggle out of his grasp and bat away his hands as you both laughed. “Stop!” you gasped.

“Say uncle.”

“Uncle!” His hands stilled on your ribs, lightly pressing to draw you closer to the edge of the counter. Hiccuping a laugh, you swiped away the tears from your cheeks before gently shoving his chest. “You’re a bully, Seresin.”

“If I’m a bully, then you’re a liar.”

“I’m a fibber at most.”

“Then I’m not a bully, I’m a teaser.”

“We knew that,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

“Pot, meet kettle.”

“You started it with the fries.” His smirk was predatory when he leaned forward to whisper in your ear.

“You won when you told me you came in the shower.” His breath on your neck caused goosebumps to rise on your skin as your nipples tightened. Your face flushed when you took in how close he was, eyes dipping to his lips. Placing your hands on his shoulders, you drew him closer, head tilting.

“Good,” you whispered. At the last moment, you shifted to brush a kiss on his cheek before gently shoving him away. Jake shook his head, frustrated that you’d used his move against him. “I’ll have red.”

“Coming right up,” he replied, stepping away. You watched him move around his kitchen, opening a bottle of wine and pouring two glasses before returning to his spot between your thighs. When he handed you yours, you tapped the rim of your glasses together before taking a sip. “Gonna give me a tour of your place?”

“Sure.” Smiling, you placed your glass on the counter before sliding off, your body pressed against his. His head fell back as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Tease.”

“Pot, meet kettle.” When you stepped around him, he lightly swatted your ass. Whirling to face him, you pinned him with a look. “Pretty sure you’re supposed to take a girl on a date before touching her ass, Seresin.”

“Good thing this is our third date,” he shrugged, reaching for your hand and tangling your fingers.

“First,” you countered. Shaking his head, he pulled you into the living room and gave you a quick tour of the townhouse. There were three bedrooms - one was a home gym, the other a guest room. The walls were mostly bare, with a few pictures of him with friends or military awards hung up. You stopped in front of one and tapped it. “What’s this?”

“Got it for being first in my class at TOPGUN.”

“What’s TOPGUN?”

“Fighter Weapons School - advanced air-to-air combat training.”

“Is that where you got this?” you asked, lifting your clasped hands to gesture to the ring he always wore on his right hand.

“No - got that when I graduated the Academy. And that,” he said, nodding towards a picture of him getting a medal pinned on, “is when I got my air combat kill. Only active duty aviator with one of those.” When you raised an eyebrow, he winked. “Told you I was one of the Navy’s best.”

“All I’m hearing is that I’ll have to work harder to keep your ego in check.”

When he showed you his room, you let go of his hand to walk over to his bed and peeked under the comforter. “Hospital corners?” you mocked, looking over your shoulder to where he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. “Seriously? I thought you were joking.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you how to do them when you stay over.”

“You’ll be lucky if I throw the blanket back over the sheets in the morning.”

“Careful, darlin’ - that almost sounded like a promise to stay the night.” Fixing the comforter, you shook your head.

“Starting to sound a bit desperate there, Jacob.”

His chin dipped, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Just focused on what I want.” There wasn’t a hint of teasing in his expression. Your breath caught. His hands rested on your waist as you moved to stand in front of him. Eyes meeting, you cupped his jaw, gently drawing him down as you pushed onto your toes.

Jake held you steady when you hesitated for a moment before kissing the corner of his mouth. His grip tightened, taking you with him as he shifted to press his back flat against the doorframe. He buried a hand in your hair as your heels hit the floor, lightly tugging to tilt your head back. You stared at one another, silently daring the other to make the first move.

His lips grazed your temple. Your cheekbone. Another tug exposed your throat to his opened-mouth kisses, his tongue darting to taste your skin. You grabbed his hip, swaying closer, chest flattening against his as your thighs squeezed in an attempt to ease the pressure building there. A whimper escaped. Jake chuckled. “Shut up,” you groaned, forcing his head away.

His eyes were dark when they met yours, tongue darting out to wet his lips. Whispering your name, his mouth curved into a smile as he finally kissed you. Jake took his time, sipping from your lips as his hands drifted from your back to squeeze your ass and hips. When your arms wrapped around his neck, fingers running through his hair, he groaned and took a step forwards, slowly walking you toward his bed.

The back of your knees hit the mattress, and you grabbed his shoulders to steady yourself. “Fuck, darlin’,” he moaned, forcing himself to pull away and meet your eyes. “Didn’t invite you over for this.”

“If I promise to respect you in the morning, will you fuck me?”

“Jesus Christ,” Jake breathed. As he stared, a wave of nervousness washed over you, but you forced it down and raised an eyebrow. He shook his head. “Thought you’d be shy…fuckin’ dream girl.”

His lips crashed onto yours, hands grabbing your ass to rock you against his erection. When your lips parted with a sigh, his tongue slipped in, gliding against your own. Reaching between you, you quickly undid the button of his shorts and slowly dragged down the zipper before slipping your hand in to run your fingers up his clothed cock, lightly teasing him through the slit of his boxers. Jake let out a ragged breath as he rested his forehead against yours, thrusting into your cupped hand.

“You sure?” Rather than respond, you withdrew your hand and crossed your arms over your waist, pulling your shirt off and tossing it onto the floor. Smirking, you sat on the edge of the bed and curled your hands over his hips.

“Are you?” His answering smile made your thighs clench before he tore his shirt off. You scooted toward the middle of the bed as he kicked off his shorts. As you reached for the button of yours, he knelt on the bed, his black boxer briefs tented as he stared down at you. When you lifted your hips to slide your shorts off, he grinned.

“You plan this, darlin’?” he asked, eyes drifting over your matching bra and panty set.

“Gotta be prepared for third-date sex,” you replied. Jake laughed as he planted a knee between your thighs and hovered over you.

“Thought this was our first date.” Rolling your eyes, you pulled him down to lick into his mouth. With one hand by your head, his other slipped under you to flick open the clasp of your bra. When the band loosened, you quickly shrugged it off. His mouth left yours, trailing kisses down your neck and around the curve of your breast.

“Fuck,” you breathed when he sucked on your right nipple. When you reached for your left breast, he caught your hand and pinned it over your head. Your hips jerked, and Jake lifted his head to give you a cocky look.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, notching his thigh at your core and crossing your arms at the wrist above your head. Pressing down, he returned his attention to your nipples, his teeth closing over one and lightly tugging. Your hips ground down on his thigh, and he increased the pressure on your wrists when you tried to reach for him as he toyed with you. Slowly, he ran his fingers down your stomach, shifting his leg back as he traced the outline of your pussy through your underwear. Moaning, you lifted your hips to chase his touch as he pulled his hand away.

“They absolutely call you Hangman for teasing women,” you huffed. He chuckled, kissing up your chest to slip his tongue into your mouth. He muffled your gasp when his hand slid into your panties, fingers parting your folds.

“So wet. This all for me, baby?” Jake cooed, his middle finger lightly petting you. When you didn’t answer, he slipped his finger into you, smirking when you turned to hide your face in your arm. You whined when he wiggled his finger before withdrawing it, shifting so the only place he touched you was your wrists. When you looked at him, he held your gaze while putting his finger in his mouth, sucking off the taste of you. “Mmm, gonna let me have my dessert before dinner?” he asked.

“You don’t have to,” you said, cheeks flushing at his attention. Releasing your wrists, he shook his head, pressing his lips to your throat.

“Want to. One of my favorite things to do.” Closing your eyes, you nodded, mentally preparing to fake an orgasm. Your exes had treated oral as a box to tick before getting to the main event. You were more than happy to skip it. Sensing your hesitancy, Jake frowned and waited for you to look at him. “Talk to me.”

“I, um…” you swallowed hard, eyes lowering to his chin. “I’ve never gotten off from…” He groaned, ducking his head to rest his forehead against yours.

“Christ, darlin’. You really did date boys before, didn’t you?” He jerked when you pinched him. Rolling onto his side, he propped himself up on one elbow and cupped your face, running his thumb over your lower lip. “Lemme try? You don’t like it, and I’ll stop, but I wanna taste you and feel you cum on my tongue.” His cock twitched against your hip. When you nodded, he leaned down to kiss you sweetly and whispered against your lips, “Shift up to the pillows.”

You’d expected him to set to work right away, but Jake took his time as he made his way down your body, brushing his lips against your neck and the red indents your bra had made on your shoulders. When you lifted your hand to play with his hair, he turned to kiss the inside of your wrist. He paid special attention to your breasts, sucking and nibbling, before continuing his downward descent. Holding your gaze, he winked before dipping his tongue into your navel.

When he finally reached the juncture at your thighs, he sat back on his heels and slowly slid off your panties, dropping them off the edge of the bed. Taking your left leg, he brushed his lips to your ankle and trailed kisses up your calf and thigh before planting it on the bed and repeating the action with your right leg. Lying on his stomach, his shoulders forced you to spread wider to accommodate him. Swallowing hard, you tried not to think about him staring at the most intimate part of yourself as he looped his arms around your thighs to hold you in place. You squirmed when he scraped his stubbled cheek against your inner thigh before lightly kissing away the sting, inching closer and closer.

“Mmm,” he hummed, his breath hot against your core. “What a pretty pussy.” You blushed, covering your face with both hands. “Look at me, darlin’.” Jake’s eyes were molten when you forced yourself to meet his gaze, pupils blown wide. As you watched, he lowered his head, eyes locked on yours, and licked a broad stroke over you. Your hips lifted off the bed, and you felt his chuckle, hot and heavy against your heated skin, as he tightened his grip. When he repeated the motion, wiggling his tongue, you whimpered.

His hand left your right leg and reached up to grasp yours, pulling it closer. Placing it on his head, he said, “You tell me what you like.” You nodded, fingers curling into his hair as he ran his tongue around your clit. He raised an eyebrow at your whimper, and you nodded, teeth digging into your lower lip.

He settled into a pattern to ease you into it, alternating long licks with shorter ones, his nose nudging your clit. You relaxed, gently running your hand through his hair. It was nice, the slow build of arousal and his obvious enjoyment. When his tongue dipped into you, you gasped before it retreated, slowly working its way further into you with every pass. “Taste so fucking good,” Jake murmured, placing a kiss on your pussy. “Feelin’ okay?” When you hummed, he used his fingers to spread you wider. The sensation was more intense as he continued his lazy exploration.

Your breath caught as he shifted his focus to your clit and eased his middle finger into you. The dual sensation made you roll your hips and fingers tighten in his hair, and you felt him smile. His tongue moved over your clit in a figure-8 motion, and he added a second finger. You could feel his ring bumping against your heated flesh with every stroke. “So tight. Talk to me, baby.”

“Feels good,” you stuttered. When you glanced down, you saw him grinding his hips into the bed, and that sent a shot of arousal down your spine. Grasping his hair, you pulled him closer as you rocked your hips against his face. Jake groaned and redoubled his efforts. You felt a pleasant tightness in your stomach, breath catching when he curled his fingers to pet your g-spot. “Fuck,” you gasped, back bowing off the mattress and finger tugging on his hair when he closed his lips over your clit and sucked hard. Forcing your eyes open, you gazed down the length of your body to watch him, brushing the hair from his face. His hand left your thigh to catch yours, and he lifted his head. His chin glistened as he smiled sweetly and pressed a kiss to your fingertips.

“Play with your tits, darlin’.” Nodding, you reached up to cup your breasts, dragging your fingers along the curves before plucking your nipples. Jake groaned. Your legs started to shake, and you struggled to catch your breath as he sucked on the bundle of nerves again. When he withdrew his fingers, you whined. Jake dipped his thumb into you before rubbing tight circles on your clit as his tongue replaced his fingers. His breath was hot against you as he curled the muscle.

The tension inside you snapped. One of your hands darted to cover your mouth while the other grasped Jake’s hair, tugging as your thighs closed around his head. Your hips jerked, riding his face, his moan vibrating through your sensitive flesh as he tongue fucked you through your orgasm.

Chest heaving, you let your hand fall to the bed as Jake pried your legs apart. After placing a kiss on each thigh, he made sure you were watching as he licked the taste of you from his middle and ring fingers. Smirking, he crawled up your body and kissed you, making sure you tasted yourself. “Your pussy tastes so fucking good,” he groaned. “But next time, I want to hear you.”

“You have neighbors,” you sighed.

“Fuck the neighbors,” he replied. His hips rutted against your core, and you moaned, reaching to cup him. Jake grunted, grinding into your palm. “Can I fuck you?”

“Please.” He kissed your forehead before reaching into his bedside table and grabbing a condom. When he rolled onto his back, you knelt beside him. Dragging a hand down his chest and stomach, you watched the muscles tense under your touch and slowly pulled down his boxer briefs. Jake lifted his hips to help you. You licked your lips as his cock sprang back against his stomach, thick and heavy, precum beading at the tip. Abandoning the briefs on his thighs, you gathered your hair in one hand and leaned down to trace the thick vein with your tongue.

Jake groaned, hand darting out to squeeze your knee. “I’m not gonna last long, darlin’, and I’d rather cum in that tight pussy than your mouth this time.”

“I guess,” you sighed, plucking the condom from his hand and tearing it open as he kicked off his briefs. Taking him in hand, you bent to suck his tip in your mouth as you gave him a few firm strokes.

“Fuck,” he whimpered, hips thrusting shallowly. His hand wrapped around the back of your neck, squeezing gently. “Please.” Smiling, you swirled your tongue around his head before dipping your tongue into his slit and pulling away.

“Since you asked so nicely,” you cooed, rolling the condom down his length and letting your fingers glance over his balls. You shrieked with laughter as he flipped you, settling between your legs. “What’s the matter, Hangman? Don’t like being teased?” When he rolled his hips, his dick bumped your sensitive clit, and you gasped, digging your nails into his back.

“After I was so nice to you? Letting you cum on my face? Not very friendly of you.”

“Good thing we’re not friends.”

“Definitely not that,” he agreed, reaching between you to line himself up. Jake rocked back and forth, fucking you with just the tip. His fingers tangled with yours, and he drew your hand over your head, leaning his weight on it before wrapping his left hand around the back of your neck and leaning down. His lips crashed into yours as he thrust into your tight heat, forcing you to take all of him and swallowing your scream as your nails dug into his skin. You could still taste yourself on his tongue as he ground his pubic bone into you before withdrawing.

Jake set a brutal pace, the tendons of his neck straining as he fucked you. His breath was ragged in your ear, sweat beading on his forehead. “Wanna hear you, baby.”

You couldn’t hold in the choked moan. “Fuck - Jake!” You threw your head back into the pillows with a groan when he reached between you to stroke your clit, his fingers grasping yours as they pressed you hard into the mattress. Your nails raked into his back.

Stars burst behind your eyes as you struggled to catch your breath. Jake grunted when your pussy clamped around him, and he fucked you through your orgasm. He stilled with one final hard thrust, gasping into your neck as he spilled into the condom. Breathing hard, you flexed the hand that still held his while reaching up with your free one to stroke his hair. He lifted his head and brushed his lips over your cheek before meeting your gaze. A tired smile tugged at his lips as he kissed you, rolling onto his side and pulling you with him. He was still inside you as he guided your leg over his hip. When he gave a shallow thrust, you whined. “You okay?”

“Sensitive,” you breathed. Smiling, he tucked your hair behind your ear and lightly kissed your nose, continuing his thrusting.

“Think you’ve got one more?” You shook your head, and he stilled. “Maybe next time.” You closed your eyes as he brushed his fingers across your cheek and drifted until you felt him pull out. At your whimper, Jake kissed you. “Gonna clean up and start dinner. You relax.”

“Are you gonna make me remake your bed if I get under the sheets?”

“I’ll let you off easy this time,” he chuckled. “Gonna toss the comforter in the wash, though.” Nodding, you moved just enough to get under the sheets and watched through half-open eyes as Jake walked to the ensuite bathroom.

“Nice ass, Lieutenant." He laughed, pausing to grab his boxers and shorts from the floor. Nuzzling into his pillow, you closed your eyes and listened to him moving around the room. When he tugged the comforter off the bed, you groaned and flipped him off, which made him chuckle. Before going to the kitchen, Jake leaned down to kiss your temple. Knowing that you needed to clean up or risk a UTI, you forced yourself out of bed a few minutes later. Choosing to forgo your bra and underwear, you put on your shorts and Jake’s button-down shirt that fell to your thighs.

When you didn’t find him in the kitchen, you grabbed both of your wine glasses and followed the music. Jake closed the grill lid and turned towards you when you opened the back door, smiling at the sight of you in his clothes. Stepping out onto the patio, you glanced around the fenced-in backyard. He took the wine glass you handed him before wrapping an arm around your shoulders and drawing you into his bare chest. “Good thing you’ve got a fence, or you’d scandalize the neighbors,” you smirked, tracing your fingers down the scratches you’d placed on his back.

“Fuck the neighbors,” he shrugged, resting his chin on the top of your head. He held you until he had to check the steaks. You grabbed his phone from the table and scrolled through his playlists. The song changed, and Jake watched you dance while he cooked. After making sure things weren’t burning, he stepped in front of you and slid his hands into your back pockets, swaying while listening to how Brandy’s eyes could steal a sailor from the sea.

“Jake,” you whispered, flipping back the covers. “I need to go.”

“Stay,” he protested, half asleep as he tugged you closer.

“No sleepovers on work nights.”

“Didn’t agree to that.” His hand slid up your side to cup your breast, running his thumb over your nipple. You bit your lip, pointedly ignoring how his cock was pressing into your ass.

“Too bad. Now be a good boy, and let me go.” He hummed, releasing your breast to trail his fingers toward your core. You caught his hand - you were already going to be sore enough in the morning.

“Fine,” Jake grumbled, releasing you and rolling onto his back. He reached for his phone and blinked at the bright light as he checked the time. “‘S only midnight. Sure you can’t stay longer?”

“I’m sure.” Slipping out of bed, you tugged on your clothes while Jake pulled on his shorts. He took your hand before leaving his bedroom, reluctantly leading you through the dark house to the front door. Once your shoes were on, he followed you to the car and pressed you against the door to give you a lingering goodnight kiss.

Jake squinted as you pulled out of the driveway and turned on your headlights. You smiled to yourself at the sight of him half asleep, barefoot and shirtless, with hair a mess from your hands running through it all night.

‘Home,’ you texted while walking into your apartment. When you got out of the shower, there was a message waiting for you.

‘We’re doing sleepovers on work nights.’

----------------------------------------------

Author's Note: So this chapter was just supposed to be them flirting and having their first kiss. That... quickly spiraled.

Read Chapter 6

Tag list:

@memeorydotcom; @alldaysdreamers; @genius2050; @djs8891; @caitsymichelle13; @dempy; @midnightmagpiemama; @lovelyladymayyyy; @caidi-paris; @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby; @bellaireland1981; @lethargicluv

#hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #top gun fic #top gun maverick #jake seresin #Hangman top gun #soft!Jake Seresin #hangman fic #hangman smut #D-Day fic

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its-opheliasgarden · 1 year

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Fast Times At Copperdale High | ‘Road Trip!’ ⏮️ ◀️ ⏸️

Brent and Brant can sense how much Kya has been struggling with the move to Copperdale. Having finally settled at 180 Hillside Lane, they surprised her with an epic road trip back to Brindelton Bay! Brent even found a great rental near Cavalier Cove Beach. They are hopeful a few days back will help them all close the chapter on their old life in the Bay. Kya is beyond excited to celebrate all of her favorite Heckings’ summer traditions like rock climbing at Hound's Head National Park, eating lobster rolls at Salty Paws Saloon, and she can’t forget the Delgatos' annual summer party!

Wow I’ve made it to 3 posts...I’m amazed that I’m still going, lol! But genuinely having fun building out this story and gameplay for a change...now I just need to stack up my queue for once...

-d.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4mm #ts4 maxis match #ts4 copperdale #the heckings #ts4 high school years #its-opheliasgarden

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patibato · 5 days

Text

[Bitter Sweet Sixteen] 002-A12 - If Love Disappeared from the World

Nanaki: …What? Why'd you follow me all the way out here? You said we'd be free in the afternoon.

Momiji: I did, but…

(It's hard to bring up that he's acting weird… I know!)

I was thinking I'd invite you to look around the island together!

Nanaki: Together?

Momiji: C'mon, it's like they say, "companions are for travelling and feelings are for life"*, I feel like I want to deepen my friendship with you.

Nanaki: …

Momiji: (He looks troubled. Just one more push…! If I had any appealing lines or items to invite him with…)

Let's clear our minds with the rental bicycles!

Momiji: (And… so…)

Akuta: Wahoo~! This feels great~~~! Bikes rule! I feel like I can go anywhere~!

Ushio: Even an idiot can do it. Impressive.

Nanaki: The wind's different, huh.

Momiji: (There's Nanaki-kun, then Akuta-kun who said he wanted to come with, and-)

(Ushio-kun, who gave an uncharacteristic OK when I tried asking… and now we're all cycling together.)

Nanaki: …

Momiji: (His face is still a bit stiff, huh…)

Akuta: Hey hey hey! Let's play shiritori**! I'm actually something of a master at it~! Didja know?

Ushio: Why would we know that? Use your common sense.

Momiji: Ah, how about doing positive shiritori then? Where you can only say words that make you feel bright and cheerful?

Nanaki: … …

Akuta: Sounds good! Let's go~! Starting with me~! The "i" in shiritori~!

Nanaki: …"Incompatible".

Momiji: (That's not positive at all…!)

E, e… "Eco Touristry"!

Ushio: What, you expect me to play too? Don't just lump me in at your own convenience. It's a pain.

…"Yawns".

Akuta: Huh, are yawns positive? Ain't that wrong?

Ushio: Huh? Isn't that too close-minded?

You do them when waking up while thinking "let's do our best again today", and they can clear your mind, too. …Yaa…awn.

Momiji: (That yawn just sounds really bored, though…)

Akuta: Never thought of it like that. Alright, "Stylist"! I love the guy in charge there, he's fun to talk to!

Nanaki: …"Time to end".

Momiji: D…"Domestic Touristry"!

Ushio: Hey, Panda keeps being negative, and Chief is only talking about travel.

Momiji: Panda?

Ushio: His face is his only good point, so he's like a crowd-pulling panda***. Anyway, this is a waste of time, there's no point continuing-

UWAHP!

Momiji: Ushio-kun, what happ- aah!

Akuta: DHAAAAAA!

*tires squealing*

*bang*

Momiji: Are you two okay!?

Akuta: Owowowow…

Momiji: Are you injured!?

Ushio: It… was flying.

Momiji: Huh?

Ushio: A huge bug over five millimetres big was flying around! Let me take a break! To use the insect repellant!

*spray*

Ushio: Haa, haa… I wasn't told there'd be such huge insects here… I can't stand it…!

Momiji: (He's spraying with bloodshot eyes…)

Akuta: Spray me too, me too~

Ushio: I'd hate for bugs crowding around you to get near me. Just for today.

*spray*

Akuta: Yay!

Ushio: …You too.

Momiji: Ah, thank you!

*spray*

Momiji: Nanaki-kun, you too-

Nanaki: …

Momiji: (He's got earphones in… maybe he's shut down… Really, what happened?)

I wonder if something happened to Nanaki-kun?

Ushio: You think I know?

Momiji: …Sorry.

Ushio: Then don't ask in the first place.

Look, Idiotake's on the run again, is it fine to just let him go wherever by himself?

Momiji: He is…! Hey, Akuta-kun! Wait, wait! Don't go that way!

Ushio: Now then…

Nanaki: …

Ushio: ……

Nanaki: …Sigh…

Ushio: (Woah woah, is this what they call a pity party?)

(What does it matter that they kiiinda look alike? No, it's precisely because they look alike-)

Nanaki: ……Siiigh.

Ushio: Woah… that's completely OOC.****

Momiji: Wow, there's a thin road going to the island! Looks like we came here at just the right time!

Akuta: What what? Where is here~? What's that island?

Momiji: It's a place called Angel Road. The tide ebbs and flows, and look, that road appears and disappears.

And if you cross the road, you can arrive at that island.

Nanaki: …

Momiji: Angel Road is also known as the "Tenshi no Sanpomichi".*****

Tourist A: I see, I see…

Momiji: Legend says that if you cross it while holding hands with a loved one, an angel will swoop down between you and grant a wish, so it's known as a very romantic tourist location.

Tourist B: Huh…

Momiji: If you go up here you'll reach the "Promise Hill Observatory", and on the summit is the "Bell of Happiness"-

Tourist C: And? And?

Momiji: (Ah, oh… A lot of customers gathered before I knew it…)

Ushio: Do they think you're a free guide or something? What do we do about this? Gonna cause a panic soon.

Momiji: I fell into my usual habit…! Sorry, could you all help me out?

I can't just abandon treasured guests who are seeking hospitality, so…!

*omotenashi battle*

Momiji: Phew… looks like we satisfied them all, that's good! Thanks everyone. Good work!

Akuta: I mean, I'm a bit tired though?

Momiji: But, we got to go to the island when Angel Road was out, and see the angel route lights that are only lit up at this time of day, so that's nice, isn't it?

Akuta: More importantly, can I say just one thing~~~!?

There's WAAAY too many couples! WAAAY too many guys walking hand in hand!

Ushio: Aren't they stupid? Being led around by a legend with no proof.

Akuta: I'm so JEALOOOUS! I want to hold hands tooooo! Ushio, come on! Even though we aren't a couple!

Ushio: Absolutely not. Stay away from me. I'll catch your idiocy.

Akuta: Don't say that~~~! My hand is calling for you~! SATISFY MY HEART~~~!

Ah, there's a super huge tropical bug on your shoulder.

Ushio: HOGYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Akuta: Don't worry, I'll get it-

Ushio: -…! Don't touch me…!

Momiji: Aah! Ushio-kun, that's danger-

*splash*

Akuta: Wooow… Ushio's met a watery wave. Come on, I'll help you so hold out your hand. And I'll hold it.

Ushio: You're persistent… I absolutely don't want to. And it's watery grave.

Momiji: (Good thing I brought towels just in case. Still…)

Nanaki-kun sure is late. I wonder where he went.

Akuta: Just before the commotion started~ I think I mighta seen him getting swept away by people and doing hospitality near the island~

Momiji: (Could he still be over there!? If so, he's not gonna be able to get back soon…!)

Sorry! You two head back first! Just put the towel in the bag!

*running*

??: We've got to see this in theatres!

Nanaki: Yeah. Where should we go next Summer? An island or something sounds nice. It'd feel like a relaxing vacation.

??: Ooh, great idea! Let's do it. Don't go promising this to anyone else, okay?

Nanaki: Of course I won't. …I've decided to go with you.

Nanaki: This place is full of votive shell art hung up by couples…

…

(Holding hands with the person you like… I wonder how that feels.)

(Being liked back by the person you like must be amazing, like a miracle.)

(These are people who made a miracle. …They're different to me.)

… How enviable… it hurts.

(No matter how much I dwell on it, there's no point. No matter how many times I think it over, how many times I regret it.)

(Because no matter how much I wished… it didn't come true.)

I'll head back. …Hm?

(It's gotten darker than I thought. Nobody around, too- …crap. I'm completely alone.)

Does this mean the path is blocked now?

…Well, I don't care anymore. If I can't get back. Even I'm astonished with myself. Haha.

Momiji: Nanaki-kuuun!

Nanaki: …Huh?

Momiji: Nanaki-kun! Nanaki-ku- there you are!

*A Japanese saying defined as "just as it is reassuring to have a companion when travelling, it is important for us to care for each other as we pass through this life".

**Shiritori is a word game where each following word starts with the same character that the last word ended with, and it's a pain in the ass to translate. I did my best, but what they specifically say is "shiritori" - "breakup" - "tour" - "yawn" - "beautician" - "natural end" - "tourist".

***客寄せパンダ (kyakuyosepanda) refers to the star attraction of an event, named after pandas being popular at zoos.

****解釈違い, difference of opinion in regards to interpretation of a work.

*****"Angel Road" is always in English, meaning translating this would've just been "Angel Road is also known as Angel Road", so I kept that bit in Japanese. …Part of me wanted to replace it with a little factoid about why it's called that, but I'm struggling to find a proper source on it, and spent… far too much time doing that. So to not let that time be in vain; there are Some Sources on the Internet that Claim the name is Related to a story about two Kakure Kirishitan lovers separated by oppression and reunited by the parting tide.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

#18tlip #18trip #18trip translation #main story: bitter sweet sixteen #momiji hamasaki #akuta isotake #nanaki nanamegi #ushio kurama

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messycunt · 2 years

Text

":D! Thanks! I would love to see how the dorm heads interact with the vices! Or just more of how the whole savannaclaw octovilline (sorry if I spelt them wrong :<) ppl work out, cuz they can’t be milked? (Right? I mean other animals have milk ig but,,,,,) jamil and kalim s little dance routine together sounds so cute! And Ruggie is the secret third thing? :o (I don’t know what that is sorry if I’m being stupid lol!) and lilia and mal! Cute! Is it too much to ask if you could give a little description of what they would look like, like fur colors and stuff, also are they like, centaur like? Or like satyrs? Or like just have the animal parts? :)"

the ruggie thing wasn't anything deeper dw about it

cw: just a short ramble and some hcs so nothing rlly, I typed these on my phone so srry if they came out funny, not proof read

so first off for the nondairy farms(enclosures?) they work as follows:

Members of them still perform at shows and are rented out for parties and private occasions the same and their added exotic factor from not being as common as the more domestic hybrids makes them more lucrative to do so with.

but as far as looks I've stated before that I imagine them being a little taller and more built, around 5 or 6 inches specifically, and they just have tails, ears, horns and a patch of fur on their back!

ok here r some character by character hcs for their looks as well as some other miscellaneous stuff

Riddle:

Soft white and red pelt, small horns.

Small and delicate looking he's actually rather hot headed and hard to work with, wish good luck to his handler they need it.

Doesn't do shows often but when he does he shows up and shows out.

Trey:

Thick dark green pelt, large horns

Not one to enjoy the spotlight and therefore doesn't participate in shows

Would rather spend his time in the kitchen and the fields or showing kids around when they have scheduled field trips coming up.

Like I said he enjoys working with kids when he has the chance and his brotherly personality makes him perfect for it.

Cater:

Shaggy ginger and white pelt, his horns are smaller than treys but still big.

Get's rented out often and looooves having his picture taken, he's very photogenic you know

Amazing temperament, maybe too lenient at times, you could tug his tail and not get much of a negative reaction.

Ace:

Short full ginger pelt, medium sized horns.

A bit of a trouble maker and hasn't had the chance to feature in any shows yet

Deuce:

Short white and deep blue-black pelt, medium horns.

Likes helping out the best he can but between me and you.. he's not that good at it.

Trey has him help collect eggs from the chicken coop from time to time.

He just wants to make everyone around him proud!

Kalim:

Stark white pelt, stubby horns.

Popular as far as rentals for parties go

He prioritizes fun over everything else which usually gets him caught up especially when it comes to real work.

Jamil:

Corse black pelt, medium large horns the tips of which are black too.

Him and Kalim come as a packaged deal so you can't have one without the other as far as shows and the like goes.

Vil:

long blonde pelt the tips of which are purple, elegantly curved horns.

To put it nicely; he's a cunt.

Does shows often and barely anything else unless it's extremely high profile.

His time and effort are expensive you know.

Rook:

blonde pelt that is meticulously trimmer(under Vils request), large horns.

He is an enigma in every sense of the word, hard to read but overly friendly

Strongly attached to his handler regardless of if they feel the same.

Epel:

Shaggy but short pale lavender pelt, very small horns(HE'S STILL GROWIN' OK)

The prissy image vil forces him uphold makes him sick but playing quiet and polite when he isn't breathing down his neck isn't too hard.

Idia:

Yes his pelt is made up of unnaturally blue flames too, larger horns but they just make him clumsy.

Sorry I love him but no idea why they keep him around he truly is good for nothing.

Ortho:

you remember those zoomer robot cats and dogs from a few years back? he's like one of those but bigger! and also a cow.

he's all shiny black blue and white plastic baby

good temperament I'd say, Just don't talk shit about his brother.

Malleus:

Deep green tinted black pelt, HUGE fully black curled horns.

Very busy with shows and events.

He's elusive and seen as scary and untouchable to most but really a big sweetie for the most part.

Lilia:

Sporadically trimmed black pelt that has pink streaks like his hair, cute small horns that he probably paints pink to match(I imagine their being like horn polish of some kind yk).

In a word; Silly.

He's great with kids and treats Malleus like a big toddler sometimes.

Sebek:

Uneven pale green pelt, medium large horns.

Never gets booked for shows or contests, not that he's undesirable or anything he just refuses to put himself in a position where he will be Malleus' competition.

SIlver:

Mid length silver-white pelt, small horns.

Has been in a show or two and found they're not for him.

Prefers helping out around the farms when he can.

12.5.22 - more

#twst #req!#wrk!#hybrid au!#riddle x reader #twst trey x reader #cater x reader #ace x reader #deuce x reader #kalim x reader #jamil x reader #vil x reader #rook hunt x reader #epel x reader #idia x reader #malleus x reader #silver x reader #sebek x reader #hcs!

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dcpartyandcharterbusrental · 2 years

Photo

D – L Essential Oils for a Positive Wedding Info by Party Bus DC Rental

#D – L Essential Oils for a Positive Wedding Info by Party Bus DC Rental

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tommyssupercoolblog · 4 months

Text

HERE ARE 55 FANFIC IDEAS/PROMPTS (some detailed, some not) that i wrote down in google docs to make septicinnit fics for but never did actually made full fics of; some are short one sentence ideas and others are full plots!!!

I posted these because there was a time period where we were super hyperfixated on writing together (almost like a d&d roleplay but you're yourselves and also it's just text) as like our main bonding hobby and wrote down way too many fucking ideas- we don't rlly write like that anymore (we do other stuff when we hangout or have dates) and so most of these have been sitting in our google docs for a long time and i felt bad abt wasting them. now though!!! they won't rot away in the secret depths of google docs!!!

soulmates switch bodies, (through TIME) on a specific birthday. So, when tmy turns (age), he switches bodies with a s3án of the SAME age. Neither of them will remember the experience after, so it's their job to leave clues or enlist friends to help them track their Soulmate down. tmy's friends gather the night before his birthday and vow to figure out who his soulmate is and help him find them. (Past!s3án is very confused about all the things that have changed (tech, gay marriage being legal) and also very awkward because he's still an anxious bean.) (can you tell we wrote this one after a Your Name rewatch)

2. THEY MAKE A LONG FURBY TOGETHER!!!!! They both help design, scrap, sew and put it together by hand, and they decide on a name together, and it ends up becoming their sort of child and now they’re gay parents of a long furby (maybe they aren’t together when they decide to make it but they end up bonding over the furby and it helps them get together in a way??)

3. Coffee Shop AU where s3án is the owner and barista at T0p 0f Th3 M0rn1ng C0ff3e, which in the fic is an actual physical coffee shop. tmy becomes his first regular customer and also flirts with him over the counter a lot.

4. The five times tmy tries to hit on s3án and fails miserably (except shhh no he doesn't), and the one time he’s actually successful.

5. Sickfic again (I wrote one already) but it’s established relationship and S3án'S one who gets sick this time. Tmy is very determined to take good care of him, help walk him around the house when/if he needs it, make him soup, etc. Maybe he tries to cook but is kind of bad at it and S3án eats it anyway. Maybe tmy brushes his hair out of his face to check his temperature,,, hhhh fluff

6. tmy and s3án going to the movies and having a good time. That's it. That's the prompt.

7. s3án teaches tmy about The Wheel Of The Year and a bunch of celtic pagan traditions and stories (and some catholic ones, of course, bc he grew up in that too) and tmy EATS THAT SHIT UP bc anything remotely s3án-related is precious to him

8. Tmy finds out that there's services where you can just. Pay to go on a date with some guy (or other person), like a rental-boyfriend type thing. He’s like, “Yeah. I can go on a date with some guy to try it (being gay) out. Why not?” and while you can make requests, he decides, “fuck it, why browse the catalouge and make myself more anxious, I’ll just have them send some random guy”. Turns out, s3án works there part-time. Also turns out, he gets selected to go be tmy’s date. Oops.

9. ICE SKATING ICE SKATING ICE SKATING ICE SKATING BARKBARKBARK

10. tmy pretending to purr every time s3án shows him affection to be annoying

11. They keep fucking flirting on stream and everyone is so annoyed because they will NOT stop hitting on each other and playing it up and it’s like. “Get a fucking room ohh my god,,,”

12. S3án goes to a party with his friends and uses an ouija board, but this accidentally lets tmy into the human realm where he follows him home and haunts him!!!! Does silly shit like moving magnets on the fridge to spell penis or drinking all the milk or going just solid enough to throw a pillow at him and then becoming un-physical again so he can’t retaliate. (the pranks and haunting are actually just bc he thinks S3án is cute tho. And S3án ends up warming up to it.)

13. s3án is TRYING to make cookies but tmy keeps attempting to steal batter from the bowl, and it escalates into a food fight for the history books (ofc they have to clean up after)

14. MAKING 👏 PLAYLISTS👏 FOR 👏 EACH 👏 OTHER 👏👏

15. tmy’s anxiety gets out of hand and he starts overworking himself. s3án’s been there (I mean, he used to upload every day for christ’s sake) and so he does his best to help.

16. s3án is crushing on tmy and gets pretty upset about tmy flirting with…. every guy ever on twitter (and also on stream) but tries to hide it. tmy realizes he's jealous/pining and confronts him about his feelings.

17. Animal Hybrid Au where tmy's like. A Feral cat (or smthn like that. Maybe a vulture instead?) and keeps bringing s3án (human or more domestic animal) dead things and at first s3án’s very put off by it but he warms up to it over time

18. tmy wants to do a storytime vlog of his first kiss but realizes he's technically never kissed anyone on the lips, so tries to convince s3án to kiss him (on camera) for the clout.

19. s3án gets into an argument with someone who's saying mean shit about tmy, and they turn to insulting s3án instead (maybe even making threats). It is at this point that tmy conveniently stumbles upon the conversation and immediately tries to THROW HANDS

20. tmy going to a party, having a hangover, and then s3án caring for him and helping him get better.

21. s3án helping tmy when he wants to try painting his nails for the first time <<<3

22. tmy tries to be flirty/romantic to s3án in Irish bc. He’s irish. But conveniently forgets that even IN ireland everyone speaks english because the language is basically dead. s3án is. Confused. And only gets like half of the words

23. tmy being emberassed abt how he hordes things and s3án showing tmy his own little weird quirks so he feels better

24. They’re both autistic and adhd - tmy has internalized ableism like younger s3án did and s3án helps him slowly realize it’s ok that he needs extra help and stuff for things.

25. Another autism one- tmy helping s3án through a sensory overload!!!

26. ANOTHER another autism one- s3án slowly piecing together some of why tmy does stuff he does, like learning he likes routines and sameness and figuring out he genuine;y cant tell when someone is annoyed with him (cough cough… mr b34st hates me video…) and helps him out, supports him, just accommodates him and tries to explain to other ppl when they don’t get it. Also sees himself in some of these things to a lesser extent and ends up figuring out they’re both autistic as hell

27. They start flirting and calling each other their boyfriends as a bit and then uh oh! It's not a bit anymore !!!! because they’re literally cuddling wearing each others clothes and everyone just reads it as actually being gay and because the jokes aren’t really jokes anymore the flirting is beginning to hit different

28. (Based on the Time Source!tmy had a beard for like. A bit) s3án hyping tmy up when he grows a beard bc tmy's so happy with it and s3án wants to support his weird fashion choice

29. Snowed in :0000 ??!!!!! SNOWED IN???? And eventually the heater breaks and they have to huddle for warmth????

30. Since tmy can sing and play piano, he decides to give s3án a little private concert to subtly (or well, not that subtly) reveal his feelings and. It’s very cute

31. s3án kisses tmy at a con when they think no one's looking, but the next morning it's all over the internet. s3án is definitely terrified but tmy is feeling even worse, so he comforts him and they take care of each other, staying in the hotel to wait for things to blow over and trying not to go outside

32. Fic where tmy speaks a fluent second language, and a mutual friend of him and s3án speaks the same language- unknown to tmy. This friend hears tmy confess in this language and now has to cover for him, KNOWING he has a crush on s3án. This gets worse when they are out shopping and s3án, talking in korean w a cashier who speaks it, shyly admits to the cashier that he’s buying something for a crush, ALSO NOT KNOWING that this friend speaks THAT LANGUAGE TOO, before handing it over to tmy as a gift a few minutes after they leave. So NOW they have to live with the knowledge that both of these fuckers like each other, but they also don't wanna be a fucking snitch. Comedy.

33. s3án and tmy are chilling when Uh Oh, Religious Trauma!!!! tmy cuddles him and comforts him until he feels better. Major angst and hurt/comfort

34. one of them goes on some sort of podcast and when the hosts mention the other he almost immediately accidentally leaks that they're together lol

35. tmy’s drawing, and for background noise, starts listening to music he knows s3án likes to try and feel closer to him.

36. s3án and tmy TRY to watch a Generic Seasonal Movie ™ (Christmas or Halloween) On Netflix to try and get into the spirit, but they’re too hyperactive to pay attention and so they give up halfway through and go out to get fast food.

37. They're talking to a third party when s3án slips in conversation and calls tmy “his” tmy. tmy is ELATED

38. AQUARIUM DATE *foams at mouth*

39. tmy gets kinda nervous that no one takes him seriously bc of how extra™️ and loud and hyper he is and also because he likes pretty childish stuff and s3án helps out and it's pog

40. :00 showering together /nsx

41. Soulmate AU where the first time your soulmate kisses you (anywhere), it leaves colors on your skin for a bit

42. Obligatory beach episode; s3án is shirtless and tmy is GAY or vice versa

43. s3án helping tmy through a thunderstorm (bc those are scary as FUCK)

44. S3án trying to teach tmy how to play 3ld3n R1ng or D4rk S0uls and tmy is...bad at it

45. Delirious giggly all nighter softness. Maybe w snacks??? They’re so eepy and sleepy,,,,, they’re so uwu,,,,,

46. Meeting!! tmy’s!!! Parents!!! s3án already met them at tmy’s show but now he’s meeting them as tmy’s BOYFRIEND and he’s lowkey nervous as hell

47. s3án realizes he likes tmy, and because he’s a hopeless romantic he starts listening to embarrassingly cutesy generic love songs about it. That's it that's the prompt I just think it's funny to imagine Jck S3ptic Eye, heavy metal fan, listening to 3d Sh3eran or even kpop like Twic3 or some other cutesy kpop group LMAOOOOO. His headphones unplug on accident or some shit and it's T4yl0r Sw1ft’s “You Belong With Me” and he's cripplingly embarrassed. like. It's so funny to me.

48. tmy1nn1t starts sleeping with a jcks3pt1c3ye stuffed animal (like the t0tm coffee one) and tries to keep it a secret because he's emberassed, but he goes over to s3án's house and s3án forgets to his his own tmy1NN1T stuffed animal, which tmy sees very obviously in his bed next to his pillow when he comes over.

49. In which people's hearts/feelings can manifest physically if they ignore and repress them enough, so tmy gets stuck trying to wrangle another, tinier little nonverbal chibi tmy (like three to four inches tall) that is extremely obvious abt his feelings for s3án and VERY intent about getting his attention. One day, s3án comes over and tmy locks the smaller tmy in a drawer, but this mini tmy manages to escape, hitching a ride in s3án’s bag so he can be with him and follow him around. When tmy realizes what's happened, he's HORRIFIED and tries to figure out where s3án's going/been to try and get the his heart back before s3án figures it out, and of course at the same time s3án ends up slowly realizing he has a little hitchhiker and taking care of him. He thinks the little tmy is very cute and is endeared by him, and also figures out he has a crush because tiny tmy is the opposite of subtle and very obvious on purpose (kissing him where he can reach and stuff, begging for attention by whining like a puppy and making happy little noises when it is RECEIVED) By the time tmy catches up with him his little self is like. Hugging s3án’s hand/finger all affectionate and squeaking happily while s3án, petting the little guy, looks up to the actual tmy and is like. “i assume this is yours lol?”

50. S3án realizing he likes tmmy and then being really shy around him after and kind of caught off guard/embarrassed by it. That being said he cannot get it together and stop acting like a nervous little kid w a crush, he’s so shy and flustered and it's so painfully obvious how he feels that he’s kicking himself. Thankfully Tmy is immune to social cues so it’s only obvious to literally everyone else. Tmy is harem protagonist levels of dense to the point s3án would think it was on purpose if he didn’t know him well enough to know he is just Like That- and he only puts it together when he is told DIRECTLY and CLEARLY that s3án likes him, where upon he is super starstruck and confused (really??? For real??? U like me??? ME???? omg???) like it hasn’t been on a billboard in bold letters for months. (this is a very autistic prompt. Autism wins)

51. Classic “truth or dare kiss and whoopsies i liked it too much” but the twist?? It’s drunk and on a livestream so they have to have the internal panic afterwords live and mask it despite being too drunk to do it well at all

52. Secret admirer trope,,,,, woah,,,,,,

53. You get a specific task you have to complete to reveal who your soulmate is. Tmy's task is to fold a thousand paper cranes. He enlists s3án for help, they hang out and bond and have a fun time, and S3án is his soulmate yippee!!! (S3án couldn't complete his own task when he got it for whatever reason, so he is also surprised)

54. DOUBLE LIFE AU. DOUBLE LIFE AU. LOOK ME DEAD IN THE FUCKING EYES. DOUBLE LIFE AU

55. S3án is a shapeshifter/changeling and Tmmy is a bard type magic user who finds out about this mysterious shapeshifter a few towns over and is VERY intrigued and then he meets him and he's not only a shapeshifter but also this silly loud guy who's honestly very weird and pretty and tmy is like. "I am going to seduce this funky little magic creature if it litterally fucking kills me".

#i made a textpost #septicinnit #rpf youtube #youtube rpf #pro rpf #video blogging rpf #rpf rarepair #poppytwt #poppyblr

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kemetic-dreams · 1 year

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Robin Hughes Harris (August 30, 1953 – March 18, 1990) was an American comedian and actor, known for his recurring comic sketch about "Bé-bé's Kids". He was posthumously nominated for the Independent Spirit Award for Best Supporting Male for his performance in film House Party.

Robin Harris was born in Chicago, Illinois. In 1961, the family moved to Los Angeles, where he attended Manual Arts High School. Harris then attended Ottawa University in Kansas. According to The Washington Post, "...in the funeral program was a picture of him as a lean high school track star. He earned an athletic scholarship to Ottawa University in Kansas, and he never gave up playing basketball."

During this time, he began to hone his craft of comedy. He worked for Hughes Aircraft, a rental car company, and Security Pacific Bank to pay his bills. In 1980, he debuted at Los Angeles' Comedy Store.

During the mid-1980s, Harris worked as the master of ceremonies at the Comedy Act Theater. His "old school" brand of humor began to gain him a mainstream following. Harris made his acting debut playing a bartender in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988). Harris also had roles in 1989's Do the Right Thing and Harlem Nights. Harris played the father of Kid in House Party (1990). He followed up later that year with a small role as a jazz club MC in Mo' Better Blues.

In Harris' "Bé-bé's Kids" routines, Harris' girlfriend Jamika would insist that he take her son and her friend Bé-bé's three children with them on a date, as she continually agreed to babysit them. The children would regularly make a fool out of and/or annoy Harris. "We Bé-bé's kids", they would proclaim, "we don't die...we multiply."

The Hudlin Brothers had intended to make a feature film based upon the "Bé-bé's Kids" sketches, but Harris died while the film was in pre-production. Bébé's Kids instead became an animated feature. It was directed by Bruce W. Smith and featured the voices of Faizon Love (as Harris), Vanessa Bell Calloway, Marques Houston, Nell Carter, Jonell Green, Rich Little, and Tone Lōc.

In the early hours of March 18, 1990, Harris died in his sleep of a heart attack in the hotel room of his hometown Chicago's Four Season Hotel after performing for a sold out crowd at the Regal Theater, at the age of 36. At the time of Harris's death, his wife was pregnant with their son, Robin Harris, Jr., who was born six months later, in September 1990.

In 2006, a posthumous DVD, titled We Don't Die, We Multiply: The Robin Harris Story (2006), was released. The film features never-before seen performances by Harris and accolades from such contemporaries as Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac, Cedric the Entertainer, D. L. Hughley, Robert Townsend, and Joe Torry. The film features a rap performed and dedicated to Harris by his son, Robin, Jr.

#african #afrakan #kemetic dreams #africans #brownskin #brown skin #afrakans #robin hughes harris #bebe kids #rich little #dl hughley #martin lawrence #bernie aber

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 1 year

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The Tory Prom Parable: A Fix-It Fic in Polls: Part 3

Part 1: link

Part 2: link

And the winner is:

You walk out of the prom dress rental depot wearing this bombshell. Complete with a big scandalous slit in the side, just because you can! You have never felt more absolutely kickass in your entire life, not even when you nearly stabbed Samantha LaRusso to death with a spike bracelet that one time. Or tried to beat the crap out of her with nunchucks. Those are hard to top, but...well, this is a different kind of kickass. You sort of want to murder someone with poison lipstick tonight. How do the femme fatales in movies do it?

Robby is waiting for you in Sensei Silver's nice-ass rental car. God, this man has resources. Whatever the hell he was up to after the war, he made bank. But hey--who are you to complain? It's nice to get a taste of the good life now and again, even if you'd rather not know where all that cold hard cash is coming from.

Sensei Silver wouldn't like. Blackmail you something to do with your mom's dialysis, right? No, of course not. Sensei Kreese is a good guy. Really got you out of a fix. Any friend of his is also a good guy deep down, right?

As you strut over, Robby wolf whistles at you. He's just messing around, but you decide to play along a bit. This whole night is about pretending to be a dumb bougie rich kid who actually cares about shit like prom, so you might as well commit to the bit.

You do a dramatic spin, and show off some different angles:

WORK IT GIRL

Robby jokingly says you're a knockout. You jokingly ask if he brought any condoms. He jokingly says he did. You jokingly wonder how much you're actually joking.

***

Congrats--you have successfully made it to the prom! You park in an illegal spot because fuck the police. You link arms with Robby Keene and walk into the vapid, B.O.-scented high school dance in the power stance of the century. Maybe it's your egotism speaking, but you're pretty sure everyone turns to look at the both of you.

And there are fucking Miguel Diaz and Sam LaRusso, dancing all around the dance floor like they own the place. Having far too good a time. Fucken show offs. Ugh. Almost like they came here to participate in the popular teenage ritual of dressing up, drinking punch, and grooving to pop music! What losers.

But when you walk in and demand everyone else's attention...what choice do they have but to join in?

Oh nice!!! You already pissed them off!!! Well, that was easy. Should be all smooth sailing from here.

You decide to take a gander at the dance floor and get the lay of the land. Kyler, Piper, and some other Cobras came in a group. That's good--you can hit them up if Prince Traitor Boy and Princess LaRusso decide to start anything. Hawk is sulking in the corner with that lame-ass nerd kid he ditched y'all for. Hell yeah! He looks like he's already having a bad time, along with that Demetri loser. Karma for inconveniencing you, one of (if not the) most important people in the Valley. (Or at least you will be after you win the AVT.) Hawk's ex is also here, partying with a gaggle of girls. Good for her, honestly--she could do better than Hawk's backstabbing ass. Bitches with no dojo loyalty get no bitches.

Some generic Top 40s dance hit comes on. Robby offers you his hand, and you take the floor. Time to be the most obnoxious pair at the West Valley High Junior Prom!

And...damn. This kid can groove. He spins you like it's second nature. He waltzes to and fro with almost perfect rhythm. When you follow his lead, you manage to move in perfect sync, despite having practiced dancing maybe twice in your life and also wearing high heels longer than Hawk's d*ck.

You put your leg around him and yank him toward you, showing off your fine specimen of a leg to the dance floor. Damn right, everyone wishes they had legs like yours!

And--oh, shit! Now he's lifting you clean off the floor! This kid is stronger than he looks, damn. And now he's dipping you like he's been practicing dipping women every night for his entire life???

Okay, that was kinda hot.

No, no, bad Tory. This is a fake date meant to prove a point and aggravate Sam LaRusso and Miguel Diaz. You're doing evil petty revenge--the last thing you need to do is catch feelings for your partner in crime.

Remember what happened last time you caught feelings for a boy??? That's right--he got kicked off a balcony!

By...the same dude who is now your prom date, actually.

Huh. Now that is the height of irony.

Speaking of Miguel, though! It's around this time you decide to check up on what him and his snooty girlfriend are doing. Surely still watching your dance routine in aghast horror, disgusted but unable to look away, right?

Wait, where'd they go?

You notice Robby also scanning the room with a furrowed brow, apparently experiencing the same confusion. He looks at you for answers, but all you can do is give him an agitated shrug.

"Let's check the punch table," he says. Right, yeah. They're probably stuffing their faces with free snacks. How lame. People as rich as Moneybags LaRusso should never be allowed free snacks!

Off to the punch table you go! But alas, no sign of your least favorite couple of all time. You and Robby begin a thorough search and inspection of the prom venue, leaving no hallway unchecked, no storage closet unopened, and no tablecloth unlifted.

People really gotta learn it's useless to hide from you. LaRusso sure tried at the arcade, and how did that turn out for her?

Maybe if you can get that Demetri kid alone, you could totally team up with Robby and break his arm again. He'd just be the Broken Arm Kid forever and no one would ever hire him! Bonus points if you do it in front of Hawk like "hey, remember when you did this that one time? Good times, right?"

How those two boys swept all that shit under the rug is beyond you. If someone broke your arm, you'd probably just kill them as soon as you got better. Eh, you avoided juvie once--you can do it again.

"What are you smiling about?" Robby asks. A little teasing, but genuinely curious.

It suddenly occurs to you that fantasizing about re-breaking a kid's arm is probably...not a great look. Whoops.

Like Robby is down for evil prom revenge and all, but he might draw the line somewhere. Who knows.

"Oh, I'm just reveling in the fact we scared them into a corner somewhere," you tell Robby.

But you double-check and triple-check and quadruple-check every last corner, and...no sign of Cheater Diaz and Princess LaRusso.

It appears they bounced!!! Unfortunately, since this is a fix-it fic, other characters besides you will also be acting in-character and not like they were replaced by cheap imitation doppelgangers who behave completely fucking differently. Which means, of course, that when Sam and Miguel see the people who attempted murder on them twice and paralyzed and nearly killed them, respectively, they're going to want to haul ass out of there as quickly as possible. Since, you know, a panic response would realistically take over and overpower any desire Sam and Miguel have to "show you up."

Uh oh. You definitely forgot to account for the fact that your targets could just fucking leave. And now you're at a dumb high school dance with no one to harass. This is awkward.

But what can I say? Did you really think they were going to just stand around and glare at you all night, without even moving to the other side of the dance floor to try and avoid you? That wouldn't make any sense.

Well...if you want to know where they went, exactly, Hawk and Demetri might know. Except the one problem with asking them is that they both fucking hate you. And Robby. So that's not going to work.

You could try asking Hawk's ex, it's just be uh. Really fucking awkward, because Moon is friends with Sam and probably remembers the whole spike-bracelet-and-nunchucks ordeal. So it's doubtful she'll want to help you out either. But you've got a better chance with her than with Hawk and Demetri, that's for sure.

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