#Cw: American politician mention

[tfdtreasurer]

hi sooo i have very very VERYYY intense eridan x yn brainrot happening and its all i can post about and think about, can you please tell me how the actual fuck do i cope with the ampora brainrot TEACH ME UR SECRETS /hj (funnily enough i found ur blog through you liking one of my eridan posts, soo yk)

It is not a total exaggeration to say that Eridan brainrot has taken over the entirety of my creative thinking capabilities. Some would see this as a negative, but I believe I have achieved zen mastery over my brainrot, which I think is the best case scenario, very possibly enlightenment. So in short, embrace the Eridan and channel it creatively. This also applies to literally any character that you form brain rot over, so I hope the rest of this ask may be universal to other people too.

The long and universal answer is that you have to start by forming an in depth interpretation of the character that you can creatively work with. Research everything you possibly can about them and when you're done research more until you're so wrapped up in thoughts and ideas you want to spin into yarns you're not sure what are spurious connections or load bearing columns. Link your thoughts about the character to your own personal philosophy on nothing less grand than life itself. From there, anything you will want to say will steadily become clearer, and you'll be better equipped to express it in artistic and creative medium.

For me with Eridan I can spend hours in Wiki holes and esoteric and specialist websites for the strangest things. I know the symbolism of the water carrier and the shoulder yoke. I know the myth of Ganymede, cup bearing and drinking poison. I know the exact names and manufacturers of 1800s whaling equipment, their mechanisms and specifications. I know that Starbuck is the name of a significant whaling dynasty. I know the scents of lightning. I know the instruments of the apocalypse and armies. I know the complicated etymology of romance. I know emperors and conquerors. I know of biblically wicked kings. Think of nothing that you research or notice shallowly. Look for deeper meaning because even if you determine it's not intended in that case, you can create something with it where it is. Do that and your repertoire of symbols and devices will become infinite.

At every step and revelation about Eridan as a character I related it to my own worldview and practiced endless self inquiry like a fucked up fandom fueled Socratic dialogue. And as my worldview refined, without meaning to sound ridiculous, I came to view things through the lens of Eridan goddamn Ampora. Does that sound ridiculous? Yes, absolutely. Would I admit in person? Maybe on my deathbed or in a criminal confession. Is it the truth? Yeah. Sorry to get all hippie communist all of a sudden but I can seriously link Eridan to my thoughts on capitalism and class struggle, on anarchism and anti-authoritarianism, the status quo and revolution, on psychology and how to relate to our fellow human beings. Not because she's instrumental in getting to those beliefs, but because the art I want to create to express myself and consequently the beliefs that form myself will inexorably use my ultra brairot powers to do so. Even if you don't seek to create art, training yourself to look deeper and analyze at that level about anything will help you consuming art in a way that will give you so much satisfaction in the long run.

For me personally, I have written works of art that are just channels for all my complicated thoughts on Eridan. I've written my own version of orphaners, of kids that wanted different lives than the one they ended up with, allegories of the Aquarius zodiac, magicians and scientists, punks and soldiers, bespectacled and pinstripe-wearing villains. I've entered them into contests and to literary journals. On small scales, I've won money and gotten published.

Yes I realize that it's mostly plain ol brain rot but at the same time a part of me is always wondering if this is just the nature of how we're influenced by art. The way that Homestuck is written feels like it's somebody's own experience with an obsession with something in particular that spiraled outward into all these esoteric sources that were then synthesized into a singular creative work. Gnosticism and genetics and Internet culture and video games and music, but also little its and bits of things like lovecraftian horror, anime, chess, Peter Pan. To borrow the words of a recently relevant political figure,

"You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? [...] You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.”

It's the same thing with art. I came to understand at some point in my life that I am less merely effected by my influences, and more possessed by them. In writing, I find myself acting irrationally, random impulses to include depths of symbolic comparison that nobody but myself could possibly hope to understand. I try to tame these impulses when they arise, make them more accessible, but my subconscious psyche is a pair of invisible hands perpetually at the wheel. So, I really just wish that someone eventually reads into my writing and is just as possessed by my words as I was by something else writing them. Even if it's not what I intended or the ghosts possessing me even intended, because writing is strange like that, in how we leave so much in the hands of the audience to interpret their own way. Like, I don't know if the cup-bearer-zodiac-Eridan drinking something later linked to an allusion of poison was intentional, but it will be for my own art. I don't know if Eridan's scare-everyone-away personality was connected to the skunk stripe-like hair, but for the characters I write it will. And I hope my legacy is like a legion of weird eridan-like ghosts haunting others' writing everlasting into eternity.

So, yeah, how do you cope with Eridan Ampora brainrot? Learn to love it, and learn to use it. Most of all, learn to love using it.

[tacticalvalor]

«────── « HEADCANON » ──────»

The Resident Evil brainrot has been real lately, but especially for Ashley. She's such an underrated character in my opinion, and it's sad we don't see her again after RE4. That said, we also don't know a lot about her prior to the events of RE4, and I'd like to tune y'all into my thought process regarding her characterization on the blog.

TW/CW for: Kidnapping, Emotional Neglect, Brief Mentions of Rape

These thoughts come from interpreting both the og RE4 dossiers and the RE4RE dossiers, as the former gives a clear cut explanation to things, and the latter gives a more in-depth expansion on these notes.

One thing that I really think is a huge part of Ashley's characterization is the fact that she comes from a privileged background.

Considering her father was able to secure a seat as the POTUS for two back-to-back terms, we can assume he's had an extensive political career prior. And, if we look at most American politicians, they tend to have privileged backgrounds. Familial wealth, access to higher education, etc. As for Graham himself, his backstory is giving… George W. Bush. I mean:

Quite literally, both served terms from 2000 to 2004.

Both assumed the presidency during a slew of domestic and foreign challenges.

Both were in the presidency when 9/11 happened (yes, that is canon to the RE verse).

Both kick started the "War on Terror" as a result, though Graham's focus shifted to BOWs instead (which that being said, it's still bullshit because we know the WoT was just an excuse for acquiring oil and slaughtering Islamic people).

Then, on top of that, Graham was actively covering up the Raccoon City incident and working WITH the Umbrella Corporation during the Raccoon Trials (striking deals with Wesker for information). And I'm sure similar happened during the Bush presidency, but I'm not versed in that too much… outside the WoT.

But anyway, back to Ashley.

Her father is a career politician. Her mother is… dead, and he never remarried, so I don't imagine she's had a lot of emotional support entering her teen years. And coming from a background like hers, it's not unlikely that when she has opened up about how she feels, she's met with adversity. The whole "You have wealth/everything, you literally have nothing to complain about" argument. Which I get, as someone who's like… very much barely making end's meet. And as a result of that, I'm sure she's developed this mindset where she feels guilty for having these "weaknesses" (which I use the term loosely, because wanting meaningful emotional connections is not a weakness).

Then, on top of that… Kind of examining the fanbase's reactions to her appearance (which is meta and outside of universe, but still), and the fact it was the early 2000s, it's probably also not a stretch to assume that Ashley had to mature quickly as a conventionally attractive person in a position of status. Any attempts at establishing a meaningful emotional connection, outside of being met with adversity, were most likely met with manipulation. An expectation that she had to give herself (re: her body) to men to make up for her sensitivity. She was mature because she had "appeal" to give. And that's just a reality for so many women, back then and to this day. We see that mentality both in RE4 and RE4RE, because Ashley's like… go-to in response to Leon's efforts to help her is to flirt. To play it up a bit and make moves that she thinks he would like (to which he leans into a bit, but ultimately sets that boundary with her that he doesn't want or expect that from her).

So with that in mind… I want to shift to the actual kickstarting event of this all: The kidnapping.

We know from both RE4 and RE4RE that Jack Krauser was the one to kidnap Ashley, and that they (the government) considered the event an inside job.

File on Ashley (RE4)

She was kidnapped by an unidentified group while on her way home from university. The kidnapper's motives are still unknown. Although there's reliable information that the perpetrator is an insider. Only a handful of people know about this kidnapping. It's been kept under wraps mostly due to the fact that we can't determine who the traitor is. The guys in intelligence say they have reliable information that Ashley's been sighted somewhere in Europe. But until we find out who the insider is, I don't know what to believe. It could be a ploy. We have very few leads as to the whereabouts of Ashley. But members of the Secret Service and anyone related to Ashley are being questioned by an investigative team. Even active agents are being investigated for any information. It's just a matter [of time] before the kidnapper is exposed.

File on Ashley (RE4RE)

Contact was suddenly lost with the subject as she made her way home from campus. Soon after, she along with her ex-military bodyguards were reported missing. Upon further investigation, it was determined that she was kidnapped by an organized group and a team was convened. Our intelligence department has confirmed several sightings of the subject in a remote village located in a mountainous region of Europe. One agent was specifically chosen for the task.

Additional Info:

- We have confirmed that the perpetrators received help from an insider. To prevent leaks, this operation will be kept strictly confidential. - Local law enforcement have been brought on board and are providing assistance.

What's implied with these notes, and what we know, is that Krauser himself was the insider.

Which would make sense considering Krauser's position in the military, and his proximity work with Leon prior to the Los Illuminados Incident (re: Operation Javier, which happened in 2002). It's likely he's met Ashley before when being briefed on these missions (considering he was a part of USSOCOM and was the one to train Leon). He would be one of few people to have the ability to gain classified information on her routines and whereabouts if he really needed, and it's entirely possible he might have done prep work prior to faking his death and employing himself with Wesker (that, or he had unnamed contacts who could slide him that information when the task was assigned).

Either way, Krauser had a thought out plan and very easy access to Ashley.

Ashley Graham's Abduction (Jack's Dossier; RE4RE)

Phase 1: Depart from campus with the target. Escort the target as usual until the start of Phase 2. There should be three others inside the vehicle, including Baker. Able's unit will follow behind you in a separate vehicle. Continue to drive your normal route.

Phase 2: Stop the vehicle under pretense of engine trouble. Transfer the target to Able's vehicle.

Phase 3: Able's unit will change course. Subdue and restrain the target. Place the target in a large container.

Phase 4: Baker's unit will create a diversion. Henry's unit will infiltrate the investigation's database and disable their network.

Phase 5: Meet at point K9 and transfer the cargo onto the ship.

And that shit hurts to think about, especially if Ashley was someone who could recognize Krauser (and potentially find security in him). Like. Setting the scene here:

It's probably evening or sometime at night (that's one of the best times to make a move; fewer witnesses and more cover). Ashley's a young woman walking back to her dorm. She's not alone per se, because she does have bodyguards, but are they visible? Or are they tailing? How much attention does someone like Ashley have on her during times like this? Either way, it's scary. We all know what happens to women just trying to exist in public spaces (especially if they're perceived as being alone)… So she sees Krauser, and probably feels a wave of relief! He's a familiar face. He wouldn't hurt her, right? Wrong. He would. He probably made a casual approach to avoid raising suspicion, then grabbed her.

What is the first thing you think went through Ash's mind? Probably the all too common scenario. 'Oh God, I'm about to be sexually assaulted'.

Except she isn't. And for that, there's probably a bit of relief before a nauseating pit of panic sets in. If that's not what he wants, then what the fuck is going on? There's suddenly more men around her. She's being shoved into a vehicle. She doesn't know where they're going. Her team was (probably) killed. And then that realization hits that she can't call for help, and nobody is coming for her. Nobody saw it.

Then, everything with Los Illuminados happens. That shit is TRAUMATIC. She has no idea where she is or who she's with. She has no idea what they want with her, besides talks of infecting her with… God knows what. She's constantly disrespected and insulted, and she has her autonomy violated (again, barring sexual assault, it's more so regarding being moved around like some sort of trophy).

That's why she has that initial reaction that she does to Leon. Sure, he MIGHT be a familiar face to some extent, but she's learned quick that she cannot trust that. If she's seen him, she still doesn't know his intentions. And then, when she does learn them, she feels like she has to overcompensate for her own inabilities (re: the previous points about emotional neglect, sensitivity, and flirtations).

Ashley is just… such a fascinating character. She deserves the world after everything.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

RE: this ask... yeah, it would've been nice if in some way, Tony was called out more for dehumanizing Wanda. There's so many ways they could've done this. I mean, it could be through:

When Vision provides Wanda with Tony's reason ("Mr. Stark would like to avoid the possibility of another public incident") for interning her in the Compound with Vision as her jailer, have Wanda respond, "So you and Stark don't want people to see me at all. How does that make you any different from politicians in third world countries like Sokovia who lock up those who don't agree with them?" and then immediately leave the Compound at that moment, travel to Germany, and yell at Tony in front of everyone there at the JCTC. I bet even Natasha would be on Wanda's side here.

Have Wanda and the rest of Team Cap get to Siberia with Steve and Bucky, and she calls out Tony here.

Have Steve call out Tony when he makes the "WMD" remark about her and point out that by saying that, Tony is saying that he shares the same views Thaddeus Ross has of Thor and Bruce (that they aren't people, but things to be controlled).

I wholeheartedly agree with you. They had more than enough opportunities to do something like that and call him out because the things Stark is defending in CW are basically that the enhanced are not people, that once the government decides something you better follow it or expect illegal imprisonment with no right to lawyer or trial, and he wants to be granted the permission to act and not face any consequences for his actions (like Steve says, the Accords shift the blame).

Not to mention he finally gets the perfect excuse to admit he just wanted to defend his country and screw everyone else (the Accords state that heroes can act freely in their country of origin. Oh look what a coincidence, most of the Avengers are American! And Wanda could technically defend Sokovia but oh, surprise, she's interned and arrested.).

And then of course the movie that's meant to give some form of closure to CW is EG where Stark says this:

But once again no one is allowed to say anything back not even when he's spouting Hydra rhetoric.

In Wanda's case it's even worse since her parents were murdered by Stark's weapons (and was he ever made accountable for it by the authorities? nope!), her brother was killed after Stark went behind the team to build Ultron (again, any accountability or consequences for him after that? nope!) and in CW he's keeping her interned in the compound for no damn reason.

If this wasn't the Stark Cinematic Universe she would have said something but we all know he can never be called out for his ideas or beliefs since I'm pretty sure Disney agrees with them...

[i-watch-too-many-movies]

5 Favorite First Viewings of July 2021

Quick note: Hi everyone, I'm back, things have honestly been getting better for me, and I'm glad to be on this site full of cinephiles, people that are too horny, and cinephiles that are too horny. I'll be more active on here. But anyway, let's talk about some movies.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) (dir. Russ Meyer)

CW: Abortion mention

What a picture. What a gorgeous, sexy, horrifying slice of what Hollywood and star life can do to a bunch of bright-eyed young people looking for success. Also is a critique of how macho nature can ruin friendships and romantic relationships with total ease. I was obsessed with the scene transitions, like Pet pouring pancake mix onto a plate after the abortion scene, or Kelly singing after someone screams before their murder in the opening scene.

Great, campy flick with exceptional music too.

Deep Cover (1992) (dir. Bill Duke)

Laurence Fishburne plays Russell Stevens, a Cincinnati police officer who hopes to do well by the community, to make a difference. He’s traumatized by the death of his substance-abusing father, and wants to make sure that he can help the people of his own town. He goes undercover on assignment as a drug dealer, where his boss orders him to take down the kingpin. Stevens realizes the police’s own failings while on assignment. The racist abuse he takes from Agent Carver, and the realization that the police department is protecting drug kingpins like Gallegos and Barbossa. Giving drugs to Black kids and Latinx kids so there will be less of them. The cops are no different than the drug kingpins looking to make filthy amounts of money.

Fishburne’s performance is excellent, as Stevens feels he has to maintain a stone face so he doesn’t get caught by Jason or Barbossa or any of his cronies, but also he maintains a stone face to try and hide his emotion, his trauma. But when he gets pissed, Fishburne acts it beautifully, as is when he has to deliver a funny quip to counter Jason’s douchebaggery. And the production design, holy fuck, the sets and the lighting.

A perfect neo-noir for the HW Bush years, arguably one of the most timeless commentaries on the era, as well as the police as a whole.

Fast Five (2011) (dir. Justin Lin)

I was torn between including this or Furious 7, but I ultimately went with Fast Five because it felt like an important turning point in the series, it's a great heist film, and it reached the same chaotic highs and genuinely excellent filmmaking that I had been waiting for since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift.

Fast Five opens where Fast & 4ious left off. Dom is hauled away to prison on a bus. Mia and Brian drive in their high-tech cars and knock the bus over, helping Dom escape. The title drops. Fast Five. It’s such an intense yet short action scene, and dropping the title immediately after it lets the viewer know that this movie is not fucking around. It’s arguably gonna be more intense and insane than the previous one.

And it is. The filmmakers made the decision to use a lot more practical stunt work for the film, and as a result, it leads to, so far, the best action in the entire series, since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift. It’s not just how it’s shot or edited, it’s the geography of the locations, the rooftop chase echoes the rooftop chase of Jackie Chan’s masterwork Police Story, particularly the way each character bounces from top to top.

And of course, there’s the silliest moment in the movie, the one that matches the intensity and kineticism of a film like 2 Fast, which is driving the Reyes’ bank vault throughout the street, getting chased by corrupt cops.

I know we make fun of Vin Diesel for saying “family” all the time in these films, but there’s a reason we remember him saying all of these impassioned monologues. Because he’s unbelievably sincere, and has so much love in his heart for every single person in the room. Anytime he delivers a speech to any of them, it’s genuinely heartwarming.

This is the film that finally shows La Familia in their best environment, which is working together, in a movie genre that allows them to work together, which is a heist film. And a great one at that.

Last Days (2005) (dir. Gus Van Sant)

CW: Mention of suicide

Several films have been made about legendary rock artist Kurt Cobain, and for good reason. He is one of the most tragic figures in rock and roll. A tortured genius who has written and performed classic song after classic song with his band Nirvana. He was called the voice of a generation, and helped change the face of mainstream alternative rock music as we know it. But with that fame, and all of those expectations came a worsening depression and further drug abuse, and his eventual death. But most of the films about Kurt Cobain ask one question which gets under my skin way too much:

“Who REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY killed Kurt Cobain?”

It was him. He did. And it’s okay, I’m sad too. Thinking that Kurt Cobain was murdered is completely ignoring the depression that he faced. And despite Last Days being more inspired by the death of Cobain rather than actually about it, it feels much more honest than the conspiracy documentaries on his death, wanting to leech off of his dead body.

This is the last installment of Gus Van Sant’s “Death Trilogy”, the previous two installments being Gerry (2001), and Elephant (2003). While I have not seen Gerry, I have seen Elephant though, and love that film for its minimalist, raw nature, and its boldness for not romanticizing the school shooter or the lives they had taken. Last Days falls into that trap once, as I don’t agree with the shot of Blake’s soul climbing up a ladder, that always struck me as cheesy in a film that is anything but.

Last Days is similar to Elephant in terms of the way it is filmed. Its usage of long takes, and still shots of characters doing various things, such as Blake playing his guitar behind a drum set. The way these moments are shot is similar to a Chantal Akerman film, particularly Jeanne Dielman. Where the acts of the mundane are the stars of the film. Blake wanders around an empty house, and the viewer can feel the pain, not just through Michael Pitt’s acting, but from the house itself. Its decay, its paint peeling from the walls, from the soft glow of the lamp that lights his face.

I say this is the most honest film about Kurt Cobain, because, despite the characters technically being fictional (the main character who looks, walks, and acts like Cobain is named Blake), this film focuses on the mental state of a person before they eventually take their own life. They’re still working, still making music, still trying to talk to friends and bandmates, but the depression lingers on. Not once does this film try to make you believe that someone else killed him, because you can see the signs of his own suicide taking place just through the film’s excellent cinematography by Harris Savides, showing his mental state only growing worse through the production design.

And it’s empathetic with him. There’s no judgement for leaving rehab, there’s no finger-wagging at him or the people he was with, there’s just a silent prayer at the end of the film, hoping that he is in a better place than he was.

Sometimes you don’t need to show every event that led you to where you are, all you can show is the moment, which also makes this better than most biopics as well, as it never feels messy or muddled, just showing one moment of Blake/Kurt’s life.

I really loved this film, and I’ll be writing about it in full soon.

The Village (2004) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

The Cracked.com/Channel Awesome audience stuck in 2012 will tell you that this was the beginning of the end for Shyamalan. That this was when people stopped taking him seriously, that this was when he became more of a punchline because of his twist endings.

But why?

The Village was released in 2004, deep in the Bush administration, during the early stages of the Iraq War. The leaders of the time were talking about imaginary boogeymen, terrorists that would attack the civilians if they could. Because of 9/11, politicians could get away with these false ideas with the majority of Americans fully believing them. The boogeymen in The Village are “The People We Don’t Speak Of”, monsters attracted by the color red. Yet we find out that they are all costumes made by the Elders of the land, designed to prevent people from going outside the land. They rule by fear disguised as love. They’ve gone through their own traumas through the deaths of their family members, but they’ve decided to completely abandon the lives that they’ve had and have their children living lies.

9/11 impacted American life by teaching citizens to live primarily by fear, to not trust anyone but their own people. And yet, post-9/11, all that increased was not “coming together”, but hate crimes against South Asian people. The rage white Americans had felt led to conservative politicians pushing fear-mongering agendas, and said white Americans blindly accepted. The outside world was progressing, but too many people were fine with living with further conservative politics only regressing American life further and further back, all for the illusion of safety. Meanwhile, the only threats to them were not the brown citizens outside of America they were so afraid of, but the white elders, the white politicians.

The Village explores these fears so eloquently, all while having a terrifying atmosphere, an enchanting score, and brilliant sound design. I enjoyed this movie very much.

Other viewings I enjoyed:

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996) (dir. Mike Judge) (re-watch)

Blow Out (1981) (dir. Brian de Palma) (re-watch)

Clueless (1995) (dir. Amy Heckerling) (re-watch)

Furious 7 (2015) (dir. James Wan)

The Long Goodbye (1973) (dir. Robert Altman)

Lupin III: The First (2019) (dir. Takashi Yamazaki)

Unbreakable (2000) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan) (re-watch)

Velvet Goldmine (1998) (dir. Todd Haynes)

The Visit (2015) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

[parentsnevertoldus]

Who Started the War on Drugs?

Part 1

The Drug War was started by a man who said “Doctors could not treat addicts if they wished to” and that judges should not be afraid to toss “killer-pushers into prison and throw away the key.” Beginning under president hoover, Harry Anslinger’s racism and xenophobia as head of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics shaped drug policy for over 30 years.

After talking with my community elders, I found out that “The War on Drugs” is not how the legacy of Anslinger’s work is understood in the Black collective imagination. My father, a retired gang member and baseball player, scrunched his face up in confusion at the mention of the War on Drugs. “Is it really a war on drugs?” he asked. He was right, “The War on Drugs” is a euphemism. “It’s really a war on us.”

Under the system of racial capitalism in the united states, power is expressed as control and exploitation of non-white bodies. I say “bodies” instead of “people” because u.s. White Supremacy culture dehumanizes people who aren’t white and only values us for the labor our bodies can do. With that in mind, Harry Anslinger was a perfectly american man. His success was directly tied to how much his policies legally restricted and punished people of color (specifically Black people, because racial capitalism came from the race-based enslavement of African peoples). The developing united states depended on the economic value of Black people and their forced labor to create wealth for white americans. The result: Black slaves and their labor equal the almighty american dollar. In the united states and those under u.s. influence, Black people are the currency of power.

Harry Anslinger hated jazz music. Under his direction, the Federal Bureau of Narcotics (once the Department of Prohibition) kept a steady focus on cocaine and heroin. The bureau honed its sight on Billie Holiday, “Lady Day,” who was rumored to favor heroin and alcohol over the other drugs she used. She was coping. Lady Day grieved the dead of the Black Holocaust* using music and drugs.

Each performance was a protest. She sang in a beautiful and haunted voice:

“Southern trees bearing strange fruit

Blood on the leaves and blood at the roots

Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze

Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees

“Pastoral scene of the gallant south

Them big bulging eyes and the twisted mouth

Scent of magnolia, clean and fresh

Then the sudden smell of burning flesh

“Here is fruit for the crows to pluck

For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck

For the sun to rot, for the leaves to drop

Here is a strange and bitter crop”

cw// lynching

Ms. Holiday had witnessed the painful aftermath of lynchings before. She was from Louisiana, after all. Each time she sang Strange Fruit, maybe she was brought back there, smelling the pepper that mamas put in their boys’ shoes to keep dogs away, smelling charred flesh left in the sun too long.

Before she could bring herself to sing about Southern White Supremacy to integrated Northern audiences, she had to steel herself. Because each time Ms. Holiday began to sing Strange Fruit, Harry Anslinger and his legal lynch mob rushed the stage from their front-row seats to arrest her before she could finish. Anslinger’s favorite agent, a sadist named George White, “whole-heartedly” harassed (even planted evidence on) Ms. Holiday unto her death at age 44 because she was a rich Black woman who didn't know her place. White was a “red-blooded American” man known to spike women’s drinks at bars with LSD just for fun. Backed by the Bureau, he lied, killed, cheated, stole, raped, and pillaged “with the sanction and blessing of the All-Highest” [1].

The Federal Bureau of Narcotics justified ripping apart families and communities because Black americans were “10 percent of the total population, but 60 percent of the addicts” [1]. After Harry Anslinger heard about white actress Judy Garland’s dependence on heroin, he gave her some friendly advice and a letter of recommendation. For a white socialite in D.C., he refused to taint her reputation with an arrest and helped decrease her substance dependence. Harry Anslinger hunted and tortured (yes, actually!) Billie Holiday like an animal for daring to drugs while Black. Punishing Black people was and is a business. From slave-catching to the prison-industrial complex, money is Black bodies. Power can be measured by who controls Black bodies and their labor. With $o few u$er$ of heroin and cocaine, the Federal Bureau of Narcotic$ increa$ed their power by expanding drug law$ to target cannabi$ user$.

Anslinger’s office, backed by powerful politicians and the pharmaceutical industry, publicized pseudoscience from “experts” which associated cannabis and violence. He ramped up prison sentences and implemented harsh drug laws to keep america clean during the radically free Jazz Age. He campaigned to white Protestants to convince them of the dangers of drug use:

"Reefer makes darkies think they’re as good as white men... There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the U.S., and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz and swing result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers and any others."

–Harry Anslinger

Like I said, Harry Anslinger hated jazz music. The free-form sounds and improvisation somehow proved that drugs made people crazy. The jazz community was tight-knit; sistas and brothas rarely snitched. More than that, he hated “jazz musicians” (which was code for Black men) and jazz concerts that “reeked of filth” [1]. Famous jazz musicians like Louis Armstrong promoted cannabis to Black folks as a relaxant that makes “you forget all the bad things that happen to a Negro” [2]. Armstrong was arrested in 1930 for possession.

“Black Holocaust” broadly refers to the 400-year enslavement and oppression of Black people in the u.s. “Black Genocide” refers to the murders of Black people by lynch mobs or police. In 1951, the Civil Rights Congress used this term to campaign for the government of the united states to be held accountable for genocide against Black Americans.

Sources

Hari, Johann. “The Hunting of Billie Holiday: How Lady Day was in the middle of a Federal Bureau of Narcotics Fight.” From https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/01/drug-war-the-hunting-of-billie-holiday-114298/

Smith, Laura. “How a racist hate-monger masterminded America’s War on Drugs.” Timeline. Feb 2018. https://timeline.com/harry-anslinger-racist-war-on-drugs-prison-industrial-complex-fb5cbc281189

[highlandflower]

cw: mentions of rehab. tw: mental health, war, violence, death (as pertaining to the greek gods)

the bakers come from old money, think the kennedy’s but the west cost version. their ancestor made a killing in the stock market a long time ago and some good business deals and ever since they’ve been popping up in different areas of notoriety, from politicians to movie stars. they come from big families and they have big families. 

they may not always get along like two peas in a pod, but they always have each others backs no matter what. they appear as a happy quintessential american family from the outside but appearances can be deceiving, all the drama just happens behind closed doors. anything that doesnt fit with their brand can and will be brushed under the rug away from the publics eyes. from stints in rehab to secret children. 

the family is loosely based on the greek gods. you’re free to interpret their personalities/occupations as you’d like. ages are open so are genders. names should be classic/vintage-y vibe, but can be discussed for different branches. 

i’m thinking my romee’s family tree has only four or five kids (also please feel free to make the parents) but that leaves quite a few other ‘gods’ so if that gets filled or you’d like to go a head and make other branches of cousins/aunts/uncles/secret kids no one knows about please go for it. so tbh they all dont need to have the last name baker or can be adopted/not look alike. ive just listed the gods in all for right now, but will separate them as needed based on who their parent is/ put them into family trees. please dm me on discord moonchild#1127 to snag one or discuss.

*  also if all the gods get taken we can move on to lesser/minor gods too.

Zeus [ ruler, protector, and father, thunder, lightning, wisdom and awareness]

 ---- ---- / age / fc / open

Hades [wealth, death, underworld, stern, precious metals,“the unseen one”]

 ---- ---- / age / fc / open

Poseidon [sea, storms, earthquakes, moody, either peaceful or raging, horses]

---- ---- / age / annie murphy  / reserved for liv

Demeter [agriculture, harvest, growth, plants, the seasons]

 ---- ---- / age / fc / open

Athena [wisdom, courage, inspiration, law and justice,  strategy, the arts]

 ---- ---- / age / scarlett johansson / reserved for zoe

Dionysus [wine, orchards and fruit, insanity, festivity and theatre]

 ---- ---- / age / fc / open

Apollo [archery, music and dance, prophecy, healing, the sun, poetry]

 ---- ---- / age / fc / open (twin to artemis?)

Artemis [animals, the hunt, vegetation, chastity, childbirth]

 ---- ---- / age / fc / open (twin to apollo?)

Ares [war, courage, battlelust, violent and physical]

 ---- ---- / age / fc / open

Hephaestus [fire, metalworking, stone masonry, forges,  sculpture]

 ---- ---- / age / fc / open

Aphrodite [love, beauty, pleasure, passion and procreation]

 ---- ---- / age / fc / open

Hestia [hearth, constant, calm, gentle, and supportive of the family and home]

---- ---- / age / fc / open

the bakers

Hera [marriage and the family, jealous and vengeful nature]

---- ---- / age / Vanessa Kirby / reserved for cassibod

Hermes [trade, wealth, luck, sleep, language, thieves, and travel]

josephine ‘joey’ baker / 25 / romee strijd / taken by kel

[reeltoreal-cl]

Black TV Shows & BGLOs

In 2020, the United States is finally confronting its issues with racism in society as well as the entertainment industry. With that, there has been a surge in black content on various streaming platforms.

Television shows with predominantly African-American casts often feature a glimpse at special pockets of black culture. One pocket often featured is the cultural experience of pledging historically black fraternities and sororities, otherwise known as Black Greek Letter Organizations (BGLOs). The five fraternities and four sororities that comprise BGLOs, affectionately called “The Divine Nine,” are officially known as the National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC).

Feature films tend to focus either on stepping, as with Stomp The Yard and Step Sisters, or the issue of pledging vs. hazing, as with School Daze and Burning Sands. Black sitcoms and other small screen productions, however, tend to explore BGLO issues with more nuance and humor.

A Different World - Ep. #216 - “It’s Greek to Me” - 1989 - NBC

Hillman College best friends Dwayne and Ron are in the midst of pledging fictional fraternity Kappa Lambda Nu. As time goes on, Dwayne becomes disillusioned with the process and argues with Ron over whether what they’re enduring is worth the benefits of the frat. Dwayne eventually drops line while Ron crosses into the brotherhood, and they see that their friendship can survive different paths. The matter is handled amicably and respectfully, and Ron is seen in future episodes as an active member.

Season 2 is when A Different World found its identity within the HBCU experience, as Debbie Allen took over the direction of the series after Denise’s character departed. Debbie and sister Phylicia Rashad are both Howard University alumnae, and Phylicia is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha.

A Different World - Ep. #421 - “Sister to Sister, Sister” - 1991 - NBC

Though no episodes depicted Whitley pledging, in this one Whitley oversees Kim’s pledge process for fictional sorority Alpha Delta Rho. Like its predecessor, the episode questions the pledge process itself, and further, the ethics of whether someone should pledge a friend. While Whitley defends her actions, Kim ultimately gets revenge when she over-seasons Whitley’s eggs with pepper. Whitley realizes she was being harder on Kim because they were friends, and learns how to be a better sister overall.

You can watch A Different World with a subscription to Amazon Prime Video.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - Ep. #408 - “Blood is Thicker Than Mud” - 1993 - NBC

Once Will and Carlton matriculate to University of Los Angeles, they decide to pledge fictional fraternity Phi Beta Gamma. However, things take a turn for the worst when Will finds out he made the cut, but Carlton didn’t because he doesn’t “fit their image.” When Carlton finds out the truth, he reads them for filth in an iconic speech that defends his authenticity. There is no mention of the fraternity in the rest of their college experience.

You can watch The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air with a subscription to HBO Max.

Moesha - Ep. #224 - “Prom Fright” - 1997 - UPN

The episode begins with Frank reminiscing about Kappa Alpha Psi with his frat brother, complete with cane twirling and chanting, “I'm pretty on my left, I'm pretty on my right, I'm so damn pretty I can't sleep at night!” Frank believes his frat brother’s Harvard-bound son would be a good fit to date Moesha as an alternative to Q, but later finds out the boy isn’t interested in Kappa or anything Frank had hoped for. The boy even says he isn’t interested in organizations that perpetuate a “herd mentality,” a rarity in depictions of children with parents in BGLOs.

Moesha - Ep. #401 - “Moesha Meets Brandy” - 1998 - UPN

There is no discussion about Greek life in this episode, however, Moesha’s new college boyfriend Aaron and his frat brother show up wearing Kappa Alpha Psi shirts for their weekend trip to Big Bear.

Moesha - Ep. #407 - “A Terrible Thing Happened on My Tour of College” - 1998 - UPN

Moesha and her friends take a campus tour for prospective student weekend of Maynard University. Part of their introduction to campus is a step show featuring Omega Psi Phi, Kappa Alpha Psi (and Moesha’s ex Aaron from #401), and Delta Sigma Theta. This episode centers on Moesha grappling with the betrayal of a college student named Melvin drugging her drink at a college party, but thankfully Aaron comes to her rescue.

One of the writers on Moesha was Mara Brock Akil, who pledged Delta Sigma Theta at Northwestern University.

You can watch Moesha with a subscription to Netflix.

Sister, Sister - Ep. #608 - “Greek to Me” - 1998 - The WB

Like the transition from ABC to The WB, the show saw Tia and Tamera transition from high school to University of Michigan. As the twins are exposed to Greek life, Tamera finds her anniversary dinner plans interrupted when Jordan goes undercover for student newspaper to investigate hazing. Meanwhile, Ray tries to convince Tia to pledge Alpha Kappa Alpha, while Lisa tries to sway her towards Delta Sigma Theta.

Lead actor Tim Reid wore an Alpha Phi Alpha sweatshirt in this episode, as he pledged the fraternity at Norfolk Stage College.

You can watch Sister, Sister with a subscription to Netflix.

The Parkers - Ep. #101 - “Grape Nuts” - 1999 - UPN

As Nikki and Kim start Santa Monica Community College, they also decide to pledge the fictional Alpha Alpha Alpha, or “Triple A’s.” As they continue in the pledge process, however, Nikki becomes increasingly fed up, which leads her to tell off the sorority sisters. She drops the line while Kim goes on to cross.

This is a rare depiction of a mother and daughter on the same line, as well as an extreme age gap in pledges for a collegiate one.

The Parkers - Ep. #404 - “Meter Maids Need Love, Too” - 2002 - UPM

Kim and Stevie are troubled by three ex-cons pledging their same sorority. Meanwhile, a fictional fraternity pledge bothers Professor Oglevee and T. While some sororities have clauses against criminal records, this is a rare depiction of one in which women who’ve traded prison for college are able to participate.

You can watch The Parkers with subscriptions to Netflix and YouTube TV.

Girlfriends - Ep. #616 - “Game Over” - 2006 - UPN / The CW

The show’s transition from UPN to The CW coincided with Joan’s transition to “It Girl” with the success of her restaurant The J-Spot. In this episode she mentions that she will be honored at a gala for business women thrown by Delta Sigma Theta, and needs to ask one of her potential suitors to be her date.

With this show being set post-college, this reference is a reminder that sororities and fraternities continue to be involved in their communities well beyond the collegiate pledge process and for good causes.

Girlfriends creator Mara Brock Akil pledged Delta Sigma Theta at Northwestern University, and previously wrote on Moesha.

You can watch Girlfriends with a subscription to Netflix.

Luke Cage - Ep. #108 - “Blowin’ Up The Spot” - 2016 - Netflix

When the police bring in Mariah for questioning, Misty jokes with Priscilla, “Look, I was just about to compel her to make a statement before you let your little soror Skee-Wee on out of here.” This is a reference to Alpha Kappa Alpha, but Priscilla corrects Misty with, “Oo-Oop,” indicating that she and Mariah are members of Delta Sigma Theta instead.

Similar to Girlfriends, the show exists outside of the collegiate realm. Mariah is a politician and Prisicilla is an inspector, showing that women in these organizations go on to have prolific careers, in which they are often expected to have each other’s backs in various situations.

You can watch Luke Cage with a subscription to Netflix.

Dear White People - Ep. #104 - “Chapter IV” - 2017 - Netflix

With a blast from the past, this episode sheds light on Coco and Sam’s friendship as freshmen and how their different experiences affected it. Coco is eager to join fictional sorority Alpha Delta Rho, while Sam wants to join the Black Student Union. Alpha Delta Rho is more interested in Sam than Coco due to colorism, and when Coco finds out, she drops. When the sorority sisters later attempt to enter the Pegasus Party that Coco is in, she denies them access.

Colorism is a topic that many in the African-American community are finally beginning to have open conversations about. This is another rare depiction among portrayals of BGLOs, as it is a controversial part of the culture that speaks to issues of elitism.

Alpha Delta Rho may be a callback to A Different World, as it bears the same name and similar colors to Whitley’s fictional sorority. Early on in the episode, Sam even describes their historically black dorm “like a mini Hillman College.”

You can watch Dear White People with a subscription to Netflix.

Marlon - Ep. #208 - “Homecoming” - 2018 - Netflix

When Marlon and Stevie return to Howell University, Marlon is reunited with his frat brothers, with whom he founded a fictional fraternity for those rejected by the more popular ones on campus. Marlon looks forward to overseeing the latest line of pledges, until he realizes that Stevie is on line as an alumnus. It is later revealed that Marlon was the one who blocked Stevie from joining while they were in college, and Stevie becomes determined to prove his worth. Stevie ultimately completes the process, and the episode is punctuated by a step show.

You can watch Marlon with a subscription to Netflix.

While popular 90s sitcoms and TV shows in the late 2010s feature similar references to BGLO experiences, they often were able to host more complex conversations about them in the span of an episode, especially in regards to character values and relationship dynamics. Here’s hoping that as the new renaissance of black television takes place, we see even more diverse perspectives on these fraternities and sororities in relation to issues at large.

[finallymothman]

So it’s 5am and I haven’t slept yet because I have election anxiety.

CW: cursing/foul language, mentions of sexual assault, Nazi mention, politics

TLDR: Fuck Donald Trump, and I only voted for Biden because he’s not Trump. I called Trump being a fascist in 2016 and had a nightmare about what he’d do to America and most people in my life told me I was overreacting and the only thing that my dream got wrong was who Trumps punching bags were going to be, and boy howdy do I hate being right.

I’m pretty sure Biden’s gonna get it, but Trump is calling fraud (because he said he would. And I was worried about how that was gonna go down. And everyone was like “oh he doesn’t mean that he just says things” And now he’s doing it and I feel vindicated in the worst possible way. But hey, at least this one time I don’t get gaslighted by the whole fucking country because even Ben Dry Ass Pussy Shapiro thinks he’s full of shit now) and his base, of course, got violent.

Like- look me in the eye and explain this to me. Make it make sense.

How come BLM is mostly peaceful protests, and only gets destructive when cops start it, or white anarchists with a revolution fetish and/or a savior complex start setting shit on fire, but haven’t actually killed anyone and people paint them as dangerous.

But Trump supporters can have illegal weapons and just fucking shoot people and Christians will raise money for their bail. They can spit in the faces of cops, with loaded guns, and cops only arrest a few, with no deaths or injuries, and can storm government buildings multiple times on multiple occasions, for different reasons, and no one right of democrat gives a shit.

Trump can piss all over Democracy, act out his fucking fascism fantasy, pack the courts with bigots who would see me and other LGBT+ people dead in the street at worst, second class citizens at best, can pass laws that mean that if a doctor doesn’t like that I’m trans, I can be turned away even if I’m fucking dying.

Even 80% of people who voted for him think he’s a loud mouthed bully who’s mean to anyone who disagrees with him a little bit, lies more than any politician in history, and he gets away with it all.

He was fucking impeached. Why did he get to stay?

He reinstated the trans ban in the military. He pulled us out of the Paris Agreement. There was that time he banned all Muslims from the country. He wanted to make them join a registry and wear identification that they were Muslim. That’s fucking Nazi shit.

God, he sicced the military on American citizens. His supporters can get away with murder- be PRAISED for murder- but tagging a government building with spray paint can get someone scooped off the street by soldiers, unannounced, in an unmarked rented van.

He was endorsed by the KKK before he was elected. He was endorsed by the Taliban AS president.

Not to mention his despicable personal history. He bragged about sexual assault on camera and people defended him. He has multiple rape accusations from everyone from just someone he met to his ex-wife. He won’t provide DNA that would exonerate him if he were innocent, so guess what, he’s probably fucking not.

People are UP IN ARMS (as they should be) about Biden being a fucking creep, but Trump said he’d date his own daughter, and talked about how hot she is and how he hoped she would get nice tits when she was a baby.

FUCKING EPSTEIN. Just the whole thing with Epstein.

What the fuck

What the fuck

He’s such a god awful person, he’s the worst president we’ve ever had, he’s one of the worst leaders the world has ever seen. And people still voted for him.

BeCaUsE hE hElpEd ThE eCoNoMy

WHOOPDEESHIT!

I don’t give a shit what he did for the economy. Other presidents have done good things for the economy.

He inherited a good economy from Obama.

Obama was a god damned war criminal and he’s a fucking SAINT in comparison.

(Like don’t get me wrong. I like Obama, I’m sure he’s a good person. But America isn’t always the good guys, and being president of the Not Bad Guys But Not Good Guys means you do not walk away with your hands clean)

And the best, THE BEST the Democrats could give us, was another creepy old man with sexual misconduct allegations, which is better than rape, sure, but I’d like a president that doesn’t have ANY allegations, but hey, at least he knows how the job works and he’s not a fascist.

The bar was so low for Trump, but he dug under it, so Democrats just set the bar on the ground.

[golden-redhead]

Your frustrations about how white Americans just don't get why restarting communism is a bad idea and that they haven't learnt from history hit a chord in me. In a fandom that I used to be a part of, there was this well-loved fic that was written by this author (who last time I checked was still active). Anyway, I followed them on twitter because they were a really good author and seemed like a really chill guy… but he started retweeting tweets against Islam and Christianity. Mind you, I don’t-

p. 2 -don’t think he was against just those two religions because he mostly retweeted tweets by atheists who were like ban all religions and stuff like that. (What a surprise, he turned out to be an American atheist.) Which made me incredibly frustrated because… do Americans not learn from history? Genocides happened (and some still happening) all over the world and mostly targeted those from religious minority groups. Even so, religion, race and culture are so intertwined that it’s really hard to-

p. 3 look at a specific religion and completely ignore the culture that it came from and not losing the whole picture. The beginning of every censorship begins with something the public can easily agree with but slowly builds up and amounts to controlling one’s life (a modern example would be something like cancel culture) Immediately, I unfollowed that author but I still sometime think of him and get an urge to scream into the void. Sorry for the long rant, I just needed to get this out of my system

[CW for the mentions of things such as genocide, abortion, anti-LGBT stuff, etc.] 

__

Ah, I might be the worst person to respond to that, haha. I was very traumatized by Catholic Church in my childhood and I am still in the process of unlearning all of its harmful ideas and in the process of even allowing myself to unlearn it and get better and just accept that I was hurt, whether intentionally or not I still was and it influenced me a lot. You also have to be mindful of how not so long ago the archbishop in Poland openly encouraged people to attack those participating in one of our Pride marches (in Białystok) last year and how a lot of LGBT people actually got hurt there. The same year (2019) a young catholic couple meant to bring a handmade bomb to another LGBT march, fully intending to hurt and even kill as many participants of the march as possible. And the cherry on top is the fact that our politicians allow the Polish Church to basically be their right hand man, meaning that they have a huuuge influence on actual law. So, as you can imagine, I come with some biases of my own :’) 

That said though, religion has a function in the society and for many it’s an inseparable part of who they are and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. The problem is people going to the extremes, no matter which side they actually stand on, and supporting censorship and eradication of an entire minority, be it religious or race or orientation-based, is just so wrong on so many levels that the idea of people actually entertaining such thought is sickening. I can’t say much about other religions, due to being raised in a catholic household and baptized against my will as a baby and in a way that didn’t leave a lot of room to learn more about other religions and beliefs, but Catholic Church has a lot of blood on its hands and I fully support people being critical of it because of that and remembering about that, because it is part of the culture and history that should be remembered. Buuut I feel like people who just mindlessly say ‘let’s ban religions!’ don’t think about bigger consequences and what it would actually mean. It doesn’t work like some kind of switch where you switch it and the next day people wake up atheists, wtf. We barely recovered from one basically global genocide, there are more happening in the world every day, we hardly need another one and this is exactly what ‘banning’ anyone, no matter which group of people you choose, means. And people never seem to learn that. There’s also this charming element of dehumanization going on, which is just disgusting and what’s scary is how people who promote those ideas are either completely unaware of or consciously ignore. I really wish people had better education and learned to think outside of the box and outside of what they were exposed to most, because it tends to be very limiting and in many ways is the real problem here, we are so closed in this little local life that looking at the big picture is nearly impossible. And I know I am guilty of that myself. I’d actually love to be this kind of Forever Student to just be able to learn more about various topics, especially those related to psychology and sociology. I had access to education, I had some great teachers and professors and I still feel dumb and like I am very uneducated and don’t know much about the world. Often it really feels like people have some idea and that genuinely comes from the right place, but cannot see the big picture. It’s kind of like with the pro-choice vs. pro-life movement, where some of the propaganda against pro-choice basically says that women will take pills like candy and abort last minute, even though it’s neither realistic nor the case of the entire discussion. People often have the best intentions that turn into something ugly and twisted when it comes to their execution, because they don’t see the bigger picture and are so hell bent on what they believe in that they don’t even want to see it. And that’s all kinds of wrong. This is the same case with people supporting communism. They get so fixed on the idea that it will mean what many of them see as ‘equality’ that they don’t think that ‘equality for everyone’ might as well mean ‘poverty for everyone’, which is basically how it looked like here. 

[notbemoved-blog]

Dorothy Day and her Catholic Workers Didn’t Skimp on the Works of Mercy or the Beatitudes

 When Pope Francis I appeared before a Joint Session of the U.S. Congress in September 2015 he mentioned four notable Americans who exemplify the American spirit. Among them—and the only woman—was Dorothy Day. [Abe Lincoln, MLK, and Thomas Merton also got the nod.] Of Day, he said: 

In these times when social concerns are so important, I cannot fail to mention the Servant of God Dorothy Day, who founded the Catholic Worker Movement. Her social activism, her passion for justice and for the cause of the oppressed, were inspired by the Gospel, her faith, and the example of the saints.

 It was thrilling to hear someone so noteworthy praise Dorothy Day in the same breath as these other “worthies” of American life. Until recently—with a new book and documentary about her—it was rare for the name of Dorothy Day to be mentioned at all.

Pope Francis approaching the podium to address a Joint Session of Congress in September 2015

I know this from my own experience. Since the publication of my book about the civil rights movement in 2013, I’ve had the opportunity to address many an audience and have generally provided the sponsors a summary of my “bio” which always mentions Dorothy Day (along with Dr. King and Mohandas Gandhi) as one of my inspirations. While the other two are well known, Dorothy Day’s name usually prompts blank stares or shoulder shrugs. It seems, though, that perhaps now Day’s time has come. Just as her great mission was taken up during the Great Depression, her “comeback” is happening during the Great Pandemic. There is such need and suffering among our own people today, it is good to have a Dorothy Day to look to for inspiration and hope that if we all pull together, we may just get out of this ditch. 

On that point, here is what Pope Francis, during that same speech to Congress, said about politics and its true intent. 

Each son or daughter of a given country has a mission, a personal and social responsibility. Your own responsibility as members of Congress is to enable this country, by your legislative activity, to grow as a nation. You are the face of its people, their representatives. You are called to defend and preserve the dignity of your fellow citizens in the tireless and demanding pursuit of the common good, for this is the chief aim of all politics. A political society endures when it seeks, as a vocation, to satisfy common needs by stimulating the growth of all its members, especially those in situations of greater vulnerability or risk. Legislative activity is always based on care for the people. To this you have been invited, called and convened by those who elected you.

Called to seek the “common good”—not just politicians, I might add, but all of us. May we all pull together, work together, as we seek to overcome what undoubtedly is one of the greatest challenges of our lifetimes. 

And now, Part III of my series on Dorothy Day and the Catholic Worker. 

[Click here for Part I and Part II] 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Issues

Initially, The Catholic Worker was viewed as Catholicism’s answer to Communism. Commonweal’s first analysis of The Catholic Worker phenomenon was entitled: “A Catholic Paper vs. Communism.” The Catholic Worker, it said, was a journal established “to offset the polemics of Communism with a clear exposition of the principles of social justice enunciated in papal encyclicals; and to oppose Communism and atheism by fighting for social justice for the working man.” 

Indeed, Dorothy Day reveled in the comparison. She used to enjoy recounting the story of how Catholic Workers competed with Communists when selling newspapers on the street corner. When the Communist shouted, “Read The Daily Worker!” a Catholic Worker would retort, “Read The Catholic Worker daily!!” 

Under the headline “Specimens of Communist Propaganda,” The Catholic Worker would even debunk some of the more outlandish attacks on the Catholic Church by the Communist press. Its battle against Communism gave The Catholic Worker some degree of respectability in Catholic circles. But when the paper began to strike out at the established bourgeois practices of American Catholicism itself, its reviewers turned sour. 

One such attack was directed at the concurrence of Catholic institutions, schools, and hospitals in their policies of racial segregation, as practiced by American society as a whole at the time. “We Have Sinned Exceedingly” was the title of one editorial on the subject. 

Another issue on which The Catholic Worker and the Church hierarchy were on opposite sides was the Child Labor Amendment. The Catholic Worker favored the Amendment, which sought to end industry’s use and abuse of children in the workforce. The Church feared that any legislation concerning the lives of children might eventually lead to government interference in the parochial school system. 

Because of these and other contentious issues, many Catholics raised questions about how “Catholic” The Catholic Worker really was. The Diocese of New York’s Chancery Office received letters urging the Church to take some action against The Catholic Worker. The head of the Diocesan Office of Censor of Books wrote a letter to Day and later visited the CW offices. His only “action” was to ask that The Catholic Worker find a priest to act as an editorial advisor for the paper to “avoid criticism and … be of assistance to the future development of the work.” 

Day gladly accepted this suggestion and asked Father Joseph McSorley, the same priest who had told her not to ask the Church’s permission to publish, to serve as the paper’s advisor. Although she often differed with the hierarchy, Day always tried to obey their wishes. She once said, “If the Cardinal ordered me to stop publishing tomorrow, I would.” Of course, he never did.

 Labor

Throughout the thirties, The Catholic Worker kept its focus fixed on the poor and on labor issues. Although Peter Maurin was not interested in furthering Labor’s materialistic gains—“Strikes don’t strike me,” he would say—Day supported organized labor and often picketed with strikers. 

During these years, she reported on the Borden Milk Company’s dispute with its deliverymen and asked readers to boycott Borden products. She covered the organization of the Southern Tenant Farmers Union and the New York Seamen’s walkout. The Catholic Worker even provided food and shelter for the striking sailors. 

April 1936 edition of The Catholic Worker

Day even interviewed John Lewis, the first president of the Congress of Industrial Organizations; she was in favor of worker unionization.  She went to Detroit to help her readers understand the sit-down strike by the United Auto Workers, a CIO affiliate, and to Pittsburg and Johnstown where the CIO was trying to organize the workers of the Bethlehem Steel Corporation. 

Toward the end of the 1930s, after Labor had made some major strides, and with the increasing possibility of war in Europe, The Catholic Worker shifted its emphasis to another crucial issue—Peace.

Blessed are the Peacemakers

As early as October of 1933, The Catholic Worker made clear that it was a pacifist paper. It announced it would send delegates to the “United States Congress Against War” to represent “Catholic Pacifism.” Three years later, the Worker started an organization of Catholic conscientious objectors. Workers saw what was brewing in Europe and were determined to be ready “when the next war comes along.” The Catholic Worker’s pacifism was based on spiritual principles: 

As long as men trust to the use of force—only a superior, more savage and brutal force will overcome the enemy. We use his own weapons, and we make sure our own force is more savage than his . . . . Today the whole world has turned to the use of force . . . . If we do not emphasize the law of love, we betray our vocation.

The following years of the paper’s history showed just how much love American Catholics had for pacifism. The Spanish Civil War began in 1936, pitting Communist against Catholic. American Catholics revered Generalissimo Francisco Franco and considered his revolution against Communism to be a “holy war.” The Worker refused to take sides and blamed both Communists and Catholics alike for the outbreak of hostilities. 

“Catholics who look to Spain to think Fascism is a good thing because Spanish Fascists are fighting for the Church against Communist persecution,” the Worker observed, “should take another look at recent events in Germany to see just how much love the Catholic Church can expect.” 

Although many European Catholics agreed with The Catholic Worker’s sentiments, Americans were appalled by its position. Many accused the paper’s editors of being “Communists masquerading as Catholics”—a criticism that would often be leveled against The Catholic Worker in the years to come. 

The paper maintained its pacifist stance throughout World War II. It called for massive draft resistance and strikes by those who worked in the war-supporting industries. Pacifist priests wrote articles on the Catholic tradition of conscientious objection. The Worker even ran an alternative service camp in New Hampshire for Catholic conscientious objectors. 

The newspaper suffered dramatic losses as a result of its principled stand. In November 1939, the paper’s circulation had grown to about 130,000 monthly. During the next six years, subscriptions steadily declined, especially subscriptions by bishops who had accepted bundled shipments of the paper for sale in their churches. By the end of the war, the paper was reaching only an estimated 50,000 subscribers. 

Dorothy Day, Peace Activist

In the face of all manner of criticism, Dorothy Day held out: 

We are still pacifists. Our manifesto is the Sermon on the Mount, which means that we will try to be peacemakers. Speaking for many of our conscientious objectors, we will not participate in armed warfare or in making munitions, or by buying government bonds to prosecute the war, or in urging others to these efforts. 

The Catholic Worker was, of course, a “voice crying in the wilderness.” Men did not drop their weapoins or refuse to make munitions. The war continued to its horrifying conclusion—Hiroshima. In a column entitled “We Go On Record—” Day wrote bitterly of this historic tragedy: 

Mr. Truman was jubilant. President Truman. True man; what a strange name, come to think of it. We refer to Jesus Christ as true God and true man. Truman is a true man of his time in that he was jubilant. He was not a son of God, brother of Christ, brother of the Japanese, jubilating as he did. He went from table to table on the cruiser, which was bringing him home from the Big Three conference, telling the great news; “jubilant” the newspapers said. Jubilate Deo. We have killed 318,000 Japanese. 

That is, we hope we have killed them, the Associated Press, on page one, column one of the Herald Tribune, says. The effect is hoped for, not known. It is to be hoped they are vaporized, our Japanese brothers, scattered, men women and babies, to the four winds, over the seven seas. Perhaps we will breathe their dust into our nostrils, feel them in the fog of New York on our faces, feel them in the rain on the hills of Easton.

Day and her Workers sent a telegram to the President: “We beg you in the name of Christ crucified to do all in your power to cause this abomination of desolation, this new discovery to be buried forever. Far better to be destroyed ourselves than to destroy others with such fiendish and inhuman ingenuity.” 

Pleas for nuclear disarmament occupied many of The Catholic Worker’s pages in future years, but not before it dealt with a more personal tragedy—the death of Peter Maurin. 

Maurin’s Legacy

In April of 1944, Peter had a stroke that left him “unable to think,” as he put it. Although he remained with The Worker, his role in its operation decreased dramatically. His health, too, continued to fail until he was completely bed ridden, except for Sunday Mass, which he faithfully continued to attend. After much suffering, he died in March of 1949. 

Maurin had spent the last 15 years of his life building a dream. And what a reality it had become! As a result of The Catholic Worker, Maurin’s ideas had spread all across the country, as well as to Europe and Australia. Houses of Hospitality “for the immediate relief of those in need” opened in many major American cities. In Boston, St. Louis, and Washington, D.C.; in Cleveland, Los Angeles, and Chicago; in Detroit, Milwaukee, Buffalo, and Philadelphia houses were opened by enthusiasts who tried—each in his or her own way—to practice Peter’s “gentle personalism.” 

Many also started farming communes to prove that people could find work, food, and shelter on the land. The New York house bought a farm in 1935. It has maintained one ever since, first on Staten Island, then later at Easton, Pennsylvania, and Newburg, New York. Others, too, tried their hands at farming, though often unsuccessfully because of their lack of experience. Those who did succeed wrote glowingly of their experiences for the paper.

Maurin influenced an entire generation of American Catholics; his “green revolution,” as he called it, challenged the youth to delve more deeply into social questions and to experience the joys of Lady Poverty and of Christian Love for the least of Christ’s brethren. 

(To Be Continued)

[dailyblacklightning]

Black Lightning has already cast its most formidable foe, adding rapper Marvin “Krondon” Jones III in the series regular role of Tobias Whale, the CW announced on Thursday.

The character of Tobias Whale, an African-American man with albinism, was first introduced in 1977’s Black Lightning #1. He is a local politician who goes on to murder Alvin Pierce, father to Jefferson Pierce (Hart of Dixie‘s Cress Williams), after he is exposed to be involved in government corruption. Driven underground, he goes on to rebuild his reputation as the “violent and methodical” leader of The 100 gang, eventually reemerging to face off against the titular vigilante.

“I was excited about Krondon when I saw his audition. He’s going to make a great Tobias!” EP Salim Akil said in a statement. “His authentic street sensibility along with an insightful intelligence is perfect for the Tobias character arc. Not to mention his regal physical bearing will be additive to making our show exciting and different.”

Jones, who is albinistic, is relatively new to the acting scene. His only other credit is a 2011 episode of Harry’s Law. In addition to his work as a solo rapper and leader of underground hip-hop group Strong Arm Steady, he has written for the likes of Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre and Xzibit. Black Lightning is slated to debut at midseason on The CW.

[thefemmedisaster]

Cw: suicide, homophobia, mild xenophobia

So the reason for all of my posting today is that the follow shit happened in a discourse facebook group I am (was??) a part of.

The exact post is irrelevant, but the admin ended up posting a photo of young stalin saying “only male politician lesbians can be attracted to.” I comment essentially “hey i understand the “aesthetic” but like... he recriminalized homosexuality in the soviet union after Lenin decriminalized it, he sent gay people to the gulags, and killed millions of people.” And some person comes in basically saying that that was western propaganda, that isn’t what really happened, etc. I genuinely think (because i’m a goddamn idiot and believe in the best of people) that saying “no those purges and massacres were real my great-grandparents were a part of that.” 

Now instead of having anybody’s goddamn ear, anybody listening, or even a “I am sorry that you went through that.” No. I get accused of spreading “western propaganda” and an admin of this fucking group tells me “go do like your great-grandfather.”

And for full context: this was an LGBTQ+ facebook discourse group. 

And at this point I’m so fucking tired.

First of all- stalinist sympathizing is abhorrent and anybody who does it is fine with a genocidal maniac who killed millions of people. 

Second of all- if somebody says “hey this is an actual thing that happened”, your response should be to acknowledge that and acknowledge that is a reality. And certainly not to follow that up with telling me to go kill myself because I am critical of your approach and views. 

Third of all- further proof that leftists hate eastern europeans and slavs. We could literally be politically persecuted, killed, tortured, barred from having basic goods and services (people conveniently forget how hard it was to get basic clothing items back then), but no, it doesn’t matter. These fuckers don’t acknowledge the very real pain that we as a people went through (conveniently, it’s only acknowledge during the Russian Empire or Russia/E. Europe today, but no mention of suffering in the USSR/Eastern Bloc). No, to them we are fucking nothing (I am using “we” because even though I am in the US and my dad is American, my mum’s side of the family has been decimated by communist regimes). 

I keep wanting to find a place to examine the intersection of me being gay and my ethnic heritage. But that’s proving goddamn impossible. Where I feel I can discuss being gay, the legacy of my family is shat on. Where I discuss my family’s struggle and racism, xenophobia, etc. they face, LGBTQ+ issues get pushed aside. 

I’m a goddamn center-left progressive, and I feel like I’m being crazy rn. Me saying “hey Stalin did this shit and is kind of a shitty human being” is apparently a controversial opinion. That is beyond awful to me, and I wish that these people would grow some goddamn sense and some goddamn empathy. Oh I’m sorry that millions of people dying from genocide wasnt ~radical~ enough for you. But guess what? those are fucking lives and families and villages decimated. But no, we don’t matter to them. As far as they are concerned, I can go die.

Beginning to feel like every goddamn part of the political discourse of this country hates some part of me rn

[justanothersadbisexual]

cw: swearing, state violence

I just feel so angry at the fucking US government and all these slimy politicians and that fucking includes AOC and other democrats who are profiting and getting paid while we get left to die. I know that that’s not a new idea or sentiment but like it also just makes me so upset and disgusted how oblivious people are. Not even 20% of the $900 stimulus bill will go to actual people. 20% is super generous too. Based on how many people got checks last time, not even 10% of the bill will go to people who need it. The US government is making it extremely clear that they don’t give a shit about us, the people who have to be exploited and only get to keep a tiny fraction of the profit they generate and told to be fucking grateful for that pathetic fraction.

This doesn’t even include the fact that over 300k american people died from this fucking virus and won’t get fucking checks either because their government failed them and their families to provide a way for them to cope and grieve and to get the help that they need and now it’s just fucked and that supposed to be OK???!!

Not to mention how many people got stuck in abusive situations, dealing with new levels of trauma and grief, cops continuing to murder black people openly while fucking syrup got cancelled and that solved everything, all of us trying not to die from this virus and just have a place to live and food to eat. It took them MONTHS to decide to give us fucking crumbs while they get vaccinated and free testing and are barely working yet somehow still managed to fucking catch the virus since they are just all so completely volatile and reckless with human lives. It’s disgusting and we all deserve better.

[toilethought]

2020 U.S. Presidential Elections, Democratic Primaries (Late October 2019)

My opinions on Democratic candidates so far (post-fourth Democratic debate). Organized alphabetically by last name because I’m not going to grade people like we’re still in school, god no.

Joe Biden: The literal worst. Almost any Democratic candidate would be better than Biden. Constantly fumbles through debates, contradicts himself, and refers to Obama’s accomplishments as his own. Go away, Joe.

Cory Booker: I like Booker! Though I find him to be a bit too nice on the debate stage, which leads to him getting short-changed in the conversation. Also plays peace-keeper to arguments on stage way too much. Prefer him as a senator, but I think his presence in the race is a good thing overall.

Pete Buttigieg: Dislike. I get the feeling he’s slightly more liberal than Klobuchar but he still looks and talks like a moderate Democrat. The only reason he sounds more progressive is because everyone sounds left in comparison to Biden. Pass.

Julián Castro: My favorite person in the race thus far. Incredibly genuine, gracious, and open during one-on-ones. Unfortunately, does not debate well. (I personally think its his inexperience, considering he’s never been in Congress, only on Obama’s cabinet.) Would love for him to be a cabinet member again in the new term. Or to run for president in a future cycle. Hope he remains in the running, though, since I love seeing him.

Kamala Harris: I’m impressed by how well she presents (though she was a prosecutor, so I probably shouldn’t be surprised). As someone who went to school in the Bay, however, I know that her record is Terrible. Her inability to actually address any critique regarding that is her biggest failing, and the fact that she named Rand Paul in the last CNN debate. Untrustworthy.

Amy Klobuchar: Ugh. The more she speaks, the more I dislike her. Constantly challenges Warren & Sanders with centrist arguments. A Democratic moderate who tries to come off as progressive but really isn’t. Hard pass.

Beto O’Rourke: Kind of OK? I like him for gun control, but he’s kind of a potato on other issues. He’s pretty unmemorable but inoffensive, which is more than I can say for the other candidates.

Bernie Sanders: My favorite candidate thus far. He and Warren have similar policy (and, unfortunately, shortcomings) but Sanders is much more passionate, and straightforward. He actually sounds like he believes what he says, and he’s invested on seeing it through. I’ll probably end up voting for him.

Elizabeth Warren: She and Sanders have similar policy, but Warren is much more establishment. She speaks like a politician (circuitously) even when she doesn’t need to. I agree with critiques that she seems incapable of speaking plainly, to her detriment. I wouldn’t be that miffed if she got the nomination, though. She’s very good at actual policy.

Andrew Yang: Terrible. My friend characterized him as, “every sgv asian american fuckboy stereotype in one,” and I think that’s an accurate assessment. The only thing he has going for him is his support of UBI. But otherwise, hard pass.

Everyone else I didn’t mention is a non-entity to me.

Things to watch/read to get an idea of the candidates:

1st Democratic Debate Day 1 / Day 2, hosted by NBC (June 2019, day 1 transcript / day 2 transcript)

2nd Democratic Debate Day 1 / Day 2, hosted by CNN (July 2019, day 1 transcript / day 2 transcript)

Frank LaMere Native American Presidential Forum (Aug. 2019, event schedule - note that there are sound issues in the beginning of the first video which is later rectified)

3rd Democratic Debate, hosted by ABC (Sept. 2019, transcript - cw: autoplaying video)

Climate Forum Day 1 / Day 2, hosted by MSNBC (Sept. 2019, not to be confused with the CNN climate crisis forum hosted the week before in a luxury mall)

LGBTQ Presidential Forum (Sept. 2019)

4th Democratic Debate, hosted by CNN/NYT (Oct. 2019, transcript)

(But, imo, the CNN debates aren’t worth watching. Terrible moderators who seem like they’re looking to promote sensationalism over actual clarity. Little to no actual policy discussion of significance in either debate hosted by CNN. Just lots of arguing and bad questions.)

For post-mortems, I personally really enjoy Democracy Now!’s coverage. They’ve put forth consistently good analysis and critiques of each forum/debate. And they’re very conscientious in their efforts to present these events as a whole rather than focusing on which candidates “won” or “lost”.

[paintingarta]

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[janiklandre-blog]

Friday, March 24, 2017

9:30 a.m.  in the computer room - grateful to have a working computer at my disposal - grateful for the quiet of being alone with 10 computers - nevertheless struggling with feelings of weirdness - worry that my energies are waning - feeling so helpless over the vagaries of my energy levels - and so angry with the heartless people who are unwilling to learn anything  - and can be brutal - totally unaware of their brutality. Feeling helpful and saintly pointing to all the wonderful pills that offer control - ignorant of their side effects and why so many people say: these pills make me feel like not myself - they make me gain weight - they make me sleepy - and I am grateful to never have gone near "mother's little helper".

I do talk to a lot of people - I do try for an open mind - and have also by my psychiatrist friends enlightened to the fact that I am fortunate to be able to deal with waning and waxing energies without any medication and yet that there are many people who are indeed helped by medications - whose lives are made possible with the medications.

Much has been written about it by now - countless first person accounts many of which I have read - often remarking though that accounts thast end by praising medications seem to have a better chance of being published by big name publishers. Names do not come thst readily to my mind - but there are a number of people of fame and fortune who are "open" about their wild mood swings - they do the craziest things - and often do have the good fortune of an understanding surrounding - the Episcopalians often seem very understanding, helping members of their church to keep high positions and hiding some wild outbursts. Often it is also the upper classes - often members are given to great madness - who do have understanding and means to keep their members in good standing. What we call "simple people" with little what we call formal education - but with the true education of the heart - often by the suffering Tolstoy praised as an educator - who show much tolerance.

America has praised itself on it's classlessness - claiming all are born equal - of course we are not. There is the French term: petit bourgeois - occasionally used by Americans - in Germsn: Kleinbuerger - klein is small, Buerger is citizen - same as petit bourgeois - is used often - and behavior called: kleinbuergerlich - this is the class of social climbers, narrow minded, judgemental, intolerant, discontent and given to liking Hitlers and Trumps -a true menace. They are often a laughing stock and made fun of - there is a British Saturday night TV program on channel 13, I've watched it occasionally - can't think of the name - showing how sadly hilarious these people often can be in their aspiration to be what we call "Grossbuerger" - or better yet, aristocrats.

Sociology - I much enjoyed my two years of studying it - is based on philosophy - German philosophers Google will be much more helpful than I if you want to find out more about the history of sociology - in any event, sociology, psychology, anthropology all are very new sciences and trying to help us deal with that weird creature Homo Sapiens - the wise man, who alas is not very wise and right at this moment we are once again faced with dangerous lack of wiseness. Have not yet read Krugman today, nyt columnist, economist - only glimpsed at it - I believe he writes about the sad lows to which so called statesmen, politicians have sunk. A great lack of wise leaders - and many point to the assassinations and  now more and more good people are getting assassinated.

So while in America we are said all to be equal - as the European I still feel myself to be - I openly admit to class consciousness - and since my time now allows me to ponder such matters, I sadly see how much of my life I have come to spend with the petit bourgeois and suffering from their utter lack of understanding for me - and often being judged and scorned by them - for what they call excentric - and yes, I am excentric. I most certainly am not part of the "center" - "they" are so proudly part of - and know exactly how people are to behave - and now all these producers of pills and hordes of "therapists" thrive on making everybody - even tempered at all times.

Since I spend so much time reading and dwelling on these topics - for sure boring many - one of many many studies remains my mother (and also myself) - my mother who was born to two people from very diffrent background who both had in many ways risen above their background - were of a group much influenced by Marx - perhaps even read him - and referred to themselves as Proletarians. Also a group wanting to make all people equal!

My Jewish grandfather - coming from merchants - had become a locomotive engineer - not the lawyer or doctor he was supposed to become. My grandmother, born to an illiteraste, almost certainly Catholic maid - studied alongside my mother, by choice heer only child (perhsps not the best choice) - and later came to read the German philosophers (my mother snd I never did). Early my mother tutored Emmi von Uhle - minor aristocracy in her provincial town - and wanted to model herself on them - and a great virtue for aristocrats is: self control. I hear my mother saying to me: control yourself - an issue to this day - realizing by now how hard it can be at times to control myself, yet striving for it.

I am looking at the watch - the topic I wanted to dwell on was the term: offend, in German beleidigen - Leid is is sorrow, causing someone sorrow. I had to be sorely offended by Martha H. myself to come to think about all the offending that does go on at the CW - and also thinking who does freely and happily offend people - and having watched over the years how people react to being offended - many leave permanently and many temporarily. One of the much offended is Robert T. (I'm strictly forbidden to ever mention him) - who - after I said one wrong word to him did not speak to me for a year - would not even look at me - and yesterday on the phone begsn preaching to me the need for forgiveness and praying for the person for the person who offended me - he is a convert to Catholicism - a much tortured soul, who has done a lot for me - realizes I am one of the very few who truly appreciates his wondeerful qualities and accepts his lack of social skills. Would love to teach him some - but - by now it is accepted that he talks and I listen and he does not want to hear anything I might have to say. His loss. Still what I told him yesterday was - I am not a Catholic. I forgive a lot on the motto of tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner - to understand is to forgive - but - all this forgiving can also lead to stewing in our juices - which can lead to depression - anger turned inward - and also to aggression turned outward. All this aggression we see now all around us are angry people - acting out their anger in murderous ways.

We see far too little understanding - for the many ways anger is created - by a powerful highly armed empire - creating the terrible danger we live in. I do realize thst the woman who offended is much younger and very powerful in the group where I am marginal - feels entitled to offending me - and all I have is this here my computer to talk to and trying to figure out how I can channel my anger constructively.

Yesterday - tai chi at the church - a Chinese teacher - much geared to to many Chinese students - not terribly satisfactory to me - lunch, hard on my teeth - came home and fell asleep, a bit too long, worrying me (waning energies?) - off to Washington Square - a young man with a sign Deep Listening and some more words - 2012 Brandeis grad, sociology, grew up in Tribecca - lower Manhattan, totally unaware of anything that has gone on in the city, environment his intrerest, lived until recently in Boston, where he also tried to make money by listening, found a kinder environment - he does have a teaching job at an elite public high school, I think called Chealsy Latin prep - he made a few dollars from people taking photographs of him - the two lovely young women just in from Colorado began talking to him - at that point an angry man of color appeared, loudly cursing him out, the two young women fled - he stayed - I guess New York is tougher than Boston. In Boston he told me he had done very well.

Came home - find myself talking on my cell phone while my land line rings - I have no gizmo that tells me who called on my land line - so quickly pick it up and say call later - not very good - how do you handle having two phones? - then hurried to this here computer to answer my emails - I do try to be as polite and good mannered as I possibly can - ate some weird dinner - my teeth! - and then my friend still came - I had been invited to attend a baptism at the CW - some baby no one really knew - cannot say that intererests me - also don't want to see the woman that offended me - did sleep fairly well in my overheated apartment - here, sitting in a back apartment I am wearing a down jacket - in any event, it is 11 a.m. - thank you computer from doing some deep listening - I think I'll be off to the church - hope they have fish on Friday - I don't eat enough fish - yesterday in the nyt food section long story of woman fighting dementia with food - also with money and a great husband - in Columbia journal story of journalist going strong at 98, never exercised, never ate the right food - no one yet knows who gets hit by dementia and who does not. At this moment - all we can do - is pray - and thank God that while I have slowed down, don't walk well, can't eat most food, don't eat the right food, don't exercise as "they" say I should - I always say I am thankful to my parents to taking as good care of me as they could - endowing me with intelligence, good looks, social skills - and being able to function not as well as some - still a lot better than many my age, who are still alive. Marianne