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esotericalchemist · 2 months ago

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𝐒𝐮𝐧 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧 - 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 •°❀

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The Sun sign in astrology reveals the heart of your being, representing your soul's journey toward fulfilling its higher purpose. It shines light on your core essence, the inner vitality that fuels your ambitions, creativity, and self-expression. Beyond its connection to identity, the Sun reflects your deepest desires and the path you are meant to take to grow and evolve. It guides you through life’s trials, illuminating the lessons you are here to learn and the ways you can radiate your unique brilliance into the world. Understanding your Sun sign allows you to uncover your spiritual mission, aligning your personal will with the cosmic forces that shape your destiny.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Aries isn't just about ambition or leadership—it's about initiation and the soul’s need to express its true nature. Aries is where the Sun is exalted, which means it’s in its most powerful state. This placement brings the energy of dynamism and an unyielding drive toward self-expression. But the deeper meaning here is not just about being assertive; it's about discovering your divine mission and stepping into your karmic role without hesitation. In Aries, you are tasked with forging your path as a warrior of the soul, shedding layers of inauthenticity and embracing your primal, unrefined willpower. This is the place where you learn to be unapologetically you, breaking through fears of inadequacy and embracing the raw power of your self-expression.

Through the Houses:

First House: You embody the pure essence of Aries. The fire of the Sun pushes you to develop a strong sense of identity. It's about defining who you are, independent of external influences. Leadership isn't just a skill; it's your inherent nature. The lesson here is to embrace your individuality without over-identifying with ego.

Second House: Your drive for self-worth and material security is strong, but the deeper lesson is to find inner value beyond possessions. This placement pushes you to understand that your resources are a reflection of your inner strength. Material growth comes when you align with your soul's purpose.

Third House: Communication becomes a battlefield. You push boundaries in how you speak, learn, and share knowledge. Your words carry authority, and your thoughts are pioneering. You’re not just here to exchange ideas, but to lead conversations that matter, reshaping the narrative of your life.

Fourth House: The Sun in Aries here shines a light on your ancestral karma and home life. The challenge is to break free from old family patterns that inhibit your growth. You are meant to create a home that reflects your unique vision, rather than conforming to tradition. It’s about owning your emotional independence.

Fifth House: This placement makes you a pioneer in creative expression and romance. Your creativity is bold and unrestrained, often ahead of its time. You're called to embrace your inner child and take risks in artistic endeavors, breaking societal norms in how you express love, joy, and pleasure.

Sixth House: You are a relentless worker, but the deeper lesson here is to balance your fiery drive with self-care. This placement teaches you that overwork without purpose drains vitality. Your true challenge is to find meaningful work that aligns with your karmic duty, not just physical survival.

Seventh House: Relationships become a mirror for your personal growth. The Sun in Aries pushes you to assert yourself, but also to learn compromise and collaboration. You may dominate your partnerships, but the higher lesson is to cultivate equal relationships where both partners can express their individuality.

Eighth House: Transformation is your life theme here. You are constantly reborn, often through crises or deep, personal change. The Sun in Aries in this house wants you to face your fears and emerge stronger. You are meant to become a spiritual warrior, unafraid to dive into the unknown to find your true power.

Ninth House: You are a trailblazer in philosophy, religion, and higher knowledge. The Sun here makes you question traditional beliefs and carve out your own spiritual or philosophical path. The deeper lesson is to lead others toward truth by first discovering it for yourself. You may challenge orthodox teachings and create new ways of thinking.

Tenth House: Career becomes a stage for your personal mission. The Sun in Aries pushes you to the forefront of your professional life, making you a leader or a trailblazer in your field. But it’s not just about success—this placement calls for you to make a lasting impact on the world, using your career as a vehicle for your soul’s purpose.

Eleventh House: The Sun in Aries makes you a leader within your social groups or communities. Your individuality shines through your friendships and collective endeavors. You may feel the urge to revolutionize group dynamics or societal structures. The higher lesson here is to use your influence for the collective good, without losing your sense of self.

Twelfth House: Here, the Sun in Aries guides you through the subconscious realm. It’s a spiritual warrior placement, where you must face hidden fears, dissolve the ego, and engage in deep soul work. Your true power comes when you learn to surrender control and let your spiritual self lead the way. The lesson is about finding strength in vulnerability and transformation.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Taurus is about grounding and solidifying the energy that Aries initiated. Taurus is a fixed earth sign, ruled by Venus, and when the Sun is placed here, its fiery energy is tempered by the desire for stability, security, and material comfort. However, at a deeper level, the Sun in Taurus is about finding self-worth beyond physical possessions. It’s a journey of learning to cultivate inner peace, resilience, and an appreciation for the beauty and value of life itself. Taurus is often misunderstood as merely a sign focused on indulgence, but the Sun here is about mastering the art of building a life of quality—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It represents the quest for long-term fulfillment and sustainability.

Through the Houses:

First House: The Sun in Taurus makes you exude a calm, grounded presence. You seek stability in life and tend to build a strong sense of self through physical or material accomplishments. The deeper lesson here is learning that your identity isn’t just about what you own or how you appear but stems from inner security and self-worth.

Second House: Your sense of value and security is closely tied to material wealth and possessions. The Sun here amplifies your need for financial security, but it also challenges you to find value in non-material things—like self-love and inner peace. You must learn that true wealth is internal.

Third House: You are a steady and persistent communicator. You prefer to take a practical and methodical approach to learning and sharing knowledge. The deeper calling of the Sun here is to express your thoughts with both clarity and creativity, balancing practicality with an appreciation for beauty in words.

Fourth House: Your sense of emotional security is linked to a stable home environment. You seek to create a sanctuary where you feel safe and grounded. However, the Sun in Taurus in this house challenges you to cultivate emotional stability from within, rather than relying solely on external factors like family or property.

Fifth House: Creativity and pleasure are approached in a sensual, steady way. You find joy in indulging in life’s simple pleasures, and your creative endeavors often reflect beauty and harmony. The Sun here pushes you to explore the deeper value in your creative expression—are you creating for enjoyment, or are you channeling your higher self through your art?

Sixth House: You have a strong work ethic and are diligent in your daily routines. The Sun in Taurus here highlights your need for stability in health and work life. The deeper lesson is about finding balance between work and self-care, ensuring that your routines are nurturing and sustainable, not just a means to an end.

Seventh House: Relationships for you are about security and stability. You seek partnerships that provide a sense of grounding. However, the Sun here asks you to ensure that your need for comfort doesn’t lead to possessiveness or stagnation in relationships. The lesson is to find harmony between comfort and growth.

Eighth House: You are deeply tied to the material world, even in matters of transformation and loss. The Sun in Taurus here forces you to face issues of control and security, particularly around shared resources or intimacy. The challenge is to embrace change without clinging to material or emotional safety nets.

Ninth House: Your approach to spirituality and higher learning is rooted in practical wisdom. You seek truth in tangible experiences rather than abstract philosophies. The Sun here challenges you to broaden your horizons and find a deeper, more expansive meaning in life that transcends material reality.

Tenth House: You strive for success and recognition in a steady, persistent manner. The Sun in Taurus here makes you a reliable and determined leader, but the deeper lesson is to ensure that your career aligns with your inner values. True success comes when your professional life is a reflection of your personal worth.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are focused on building stability and security. The Sun in Taurus here calls you to bring beauty and practicality to your community and social causes. However, it also challenges you to not limit your dreams to the material world—there is a higher purpose to be found in your connections.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Taurus in the twelfth house draws you into the realm of subconscious desires for comfort and stability. You may have a hidden yearning for peace and security, but the Sun here teaches you to let go of attachments and find inner stability through spiritual surrender. The lesson is about releasing the need for control and finding serenity within.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Gemini is about intellectual curiosity and versatility. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, intellect, and adaptability. When the Sun is placed here, its energy manifests through a need to express, learn, and connect. However, the deeper meaning of the Sun in Gemini goes beyond just being a social butterfly or a quick thinker. It represents the journey of understanding duality—balancing opposites, integrating knowledge from different sources, and using mental agility to make sense of the world. The Sun in Gemini pushes you to explore life’s complexities while seeking out the truth in the midst of diversity. It’s a placement that challenges you to connect the dots between seemingly unrelated ideas, becoming a channel for higher wisdom through your sharp intellect.

Through the Houses:

First House: You are the embodiment of mental agility and quick wit. Your identity is tied to your ability to communicate and adapt to your environment. The deeper lesson is to not scatter your energy in too many directions but to use your intellect with focus and intention, becoming a master of communication.

Second House: Your approach to financial security is highly mental. You may generate income through communication, writing, or intellectual pursuits. The Sun here teaches you that true value lies in knowledge and ideas, not just material wealth. You are called to recognize your intellectual assets as a source of self-worth.

Third House: This is the natural placement for Gemini, amplifying your curiosity and need for connection. You thrive in environments where you can exchange ideas and gather information. The deeper lesson is to cultivate depth in your interactions—don’t just skim the surface; explore topics with more focus and intention.

Fourth House: Your home life may be intellectualized, with a focus on mental stimulation within the family. The Sun in Gemini here challenges you to create emotional security not just through conversation but through understanding the emotional needs of yourself and others. The goal is to bridge the mind and the heart.

Fifth House: Your creativity is channeled through intellectual pursuits, whether through writing, teaching, or other forms of communication. The Sun in Gemini in this house urges you to infuse playfulness into your creative expressions but also challenges you to find meaning and purpose in your creative endeavors.

Sixth House: You bring versatility and adaptability to your work and daily routines. The Sun here makes you a problem solver, someone who can juggle multiple tasks. The deeper lesson is about using your intellect for service—how can you contribute your knowledge and skills to help others or improve your environment?

Seventh House: In relationships, you seek mental stimulation and communication. You are drawn to partners who engage your mind. The Sun in Gemini here challenges you to balance intellectual connection with emotional intimacy, ensuring that relationships aren’t just about conversation but also deeper understanding.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and the unknown with curiosity. You may intellectualize emotional or taboo topics, using your mind to explore hidden truths. The Sun in this house calls you to dive deeper into psychological and spiritual realms, using your intellect as a tool for profound inner growth.

Ninth House: Your quest for higher knowledge is diverse and eclectic. You are drawn to many different philosophies, and the Sun here urges you to integrate these ideas into a cohesive worldview. The deeper lesson is to find your own truth within the multitude of perspectives you encounter.

Tenth House: Your career may involve communication, teaching, or intellectual work. The Sun in Gemini here makes you a versatile and adaptable leader, but the deeper lesson is to find a path that aligns with your soul’s higher purpose, not just your intellectual curiosity. True success comes from a balance of mind and heart.

Eleventh House: Your social connections are based on shared ideas and intellectual pursuits. The Sun here makes you a networker, someone who thrives in groups where knowledge is exchanged. The challenge is to bring meaningful change to your social circles or communities by using your intellect for the greater good.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Gemini in the twelfth house guides you to explore the subconscious mind and hidden realms of thought. You are called to use your intellect to uncover hidden truths and spiritual wisdom. The deeper lesson is to surrender the ego and find clarity in the silence of the mind, bridging intellect with intuition.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Cancer represents a deep emotional intelligence and a strong connection to the nurturing qualities of the self. Cancer is ruled by the Moon, and when the Sun is placed here, it brings forth an energy of protection, care, and emotional depth. However, the deeper significance of the Sun in Cancer goes beyond just being emotional or sensitive—it is about understanding the sacred role of emotions in life’s journey and how they fuel your sense of purpose. This placement highlights the soul's need to connect with its roots, its emotional foundation, and to foster a sense of inner security. The Sun in Cancer often pushes you to explore the balance between caring for others and protecting your own inner world, teaching you that true strength comes from emotional resilience and a deep connection to your heart's desires.

Through the Houses:

First House: You project an emotionally grounded and nurturing persona. The Sun in Cancer here makes you deeply sensitive to your environment, but the deeper lesson is to protect your energy and build emotional boundaries that allow you to flourish without absorbing too much from others.

Second House: Your sense of security is rooted in emotional stability, and you may seek financial security through nurturing professions or caregiving. The Sun here challenges you to understand that wealth is not just about material resources but also about emotional fulfillment and building a strong foundation for the soul.

Third House: Communication is colored by emotion, and you have a natural ability to connect with others on an empathetic level. The Sun in Cancer here pushes you to speak from the heart, but it also encourages you to learn how to manage your emotions when engaging in dialogue. You are called to balance intuition with logic in your speech.

Fourth House: This is the most natural house for the Sun in Cancer, as it highlights your deep connection to home, family, and roots. The deeper lesson here is to find emotional security within yourself, rather than depending on external environments or family dynamics. You are meant to create a sanctuary of inner peace.

Fifth House: Your creativity and self-expression are deeply emotional, and you find joy in nurturing others or engaging in artistic endeavors that come from the heart. The Sun here teaches you to embrace your inner child and express your emotions freely, using creativity as a way to heal and connect with others.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with emotional dedication, often taking on roles where you can care for others or offer support. The deeper lesson here is about balancing your emotional energy with self-care, ensuring that you do not deplete yourself while trying to nurture others in your daily routines.

Seventh House: Relationships become the focus of your emotional energy, and you are deeply invested in partnerships that provide emotional security. The Sun in Cancer here challenges you to ensure that your relationships are balanced, teaching you to nurture others while also receiving care and emotional support in return.

Eighth House: You are emotionally drawn to transformation and the mysteries of life. The Sun in Cancer in this house highlights your need for emotional intimacy and depth in shared resources or spiritual pursuits. The challenge is to learn emotional detachment when necessary, embracing change as a form of emotional growth.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and spirituality is deeply emotional, and you may be drawn to spiritual paths that emphasize nurturing or protection. The Sun here pushes you to expand your emotional awareness through philosophical or spiritual teachings, finding emotional fulfillment in your quest for truth.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are driven by a need to care for or nurture others. The Sun in Cancer here may push you toward roles where you can emotionally connect with the world. The deeper lesson is to ensure that your career aligns with your emotional needs, finding purpose in your professional life by nurturing both yourself and others.

Eleventh House: You are emotionally connected to your social circles and long-term goals, seeking groups that provide a sense of family or emotional security. The Sun in Cancer here challenges you to nurture your friendships while also pursuing your personal dreams, balancing emotional fulfillment with collective growth.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Cancer in the twelfth house draws you into the realm of the subconscious and hidden emotions. You may be highly attuned to the emotional undercurrents of life, and the Sun here challenges you to release emotional attachments that no longer serve you. The deeper lesson is about finding emotional freedom through spiritual surrender.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Leo is a powerful placement as the Sun rules Leo, making this position one of the most natural expressions of solar energy. Leo is the sign of leadership, creativity, and self-expression, but the deeper meaning of the Sun in Leo is about embodying your divine purpose with authenticity and grace. The Sun in Leo isn't just about seeking attention or fame; it's about stepping into your role as a creator, someone who shines their inner light unapologetically, inspiring others through personal example. It is a karmic call to own your personal power, but with the wisdom that true leadership comes from the heart, not from ego-driven motives. The Sun in Leo teaches you that your greatest power comes from knowing yourself and sharing your gifts generously with the world.

Through the Houses:

First House: You radiate confidence and have a natural magnetism that draws others to you. The Sun in Leo in the first house challenges you to be a leader by example, to step into your authentic self without arrogance. You are called to develop self-awareness and embody the light of your higher self.

Second House: You find value and security in your self-worth, often seeking to express your personal power through material or financial success. The Sun in Leo here teaches you to recognize that true wealth comes from within, and your greatest asset is your ability to shine your light in ways that bring lasting value.

Third House: Communication and learning are avenues where you can express your creativity and leadership. You have a natural flair for speaking or teaching, but the deeper lesson here is to ensure that your voice uplifts and inspires, rather than dominating conversations. You are meant to communicate with heart.

Fourth House: Your sense of emotional security is tied to being recognized and appreciated in your home or family life. The Sun in Leo here asks you to create a warm and loving environment where your inner light can flourish. The lesson is to shine your light without seeking validation, finding emotional security from within.

Fifth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, enhancing your creative abilities and self-expression. You are called to lead through your artistic talents, romantic endeavors, or relationship with children. The deeper lesson is to cultivate joy and passion, not for external approval, but for the pure joy of creation.

Sixth House: Your approach to work and service is filled with pride and dedication. The Sun in Leo here challenges you to balance your need for recognition with humility, ensuring that your work serves a higher purpose. You are called to lead through example, bringing your heart into your daily routines and service to others.

Seventh House: Relationships are a stage for your self-expression, and you seek partners who reflect your creative or leadership qualities. The Sun in Leo in this house teaches you to balance your needs for recognition with the needs of your partner, creating a dynamic where both individuals shine together, rather than competing for the spotlight.

Eighth House: You have a powerful presence when it comes to transformation and shared resources. The Sun in Leo here pushes you to embrace personal power in matters of intimacy, spirituality, and deep emotional connections. The lesson is to use your transformative power wisely, ensuring that it is aligned with your higher self, rather than ego.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and truth is expressed through leadership and creative exploration. The Sun in Leo in the ninth house urges you to lead in philosophical, spiritual, or academic matters. The deeper calling is to inspire others through your journey, sharing your insights in a way that uplifts and enlightens.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are places where your leadership shines brightest. The Sun in Leo in the tenth house makes you a natural authority figure, but the deeper lesson is to ensure that your success is aligned with your soul's purpose. You are called to be a leader who inspires through genuine integrity and heart-centered ambition.

Eleventh House: You are a leader within your social circles or community, often playing a central role in group endeavors. The Sun in Leo here asks you to use your influence to uplift the collective, ensuring that your personal goals align with the greater good. The lesson is to shine brightly without overshadowing the contributions of others.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Leo in the twelfth house draws your creative energy into the spiritual and subconscious realms. You are called to express your inner light in subtle or hidden ways, often working behind the scenes. The deeper lesson is about finding your true self through spiritual surrender, shining brightly even in solitude or silence.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Virgo brings a focus on precision, service, and mastery of detail. Virgo is ruled by Mercury, the planet of intellect, but the deeper significance of the Sun in Virgo lies in its need for refinement and perfection. This placement isn’t just about being analytical or critical; it’s about learning to align your actions with a higher purpose through meticulous care and dedication. The Sun in Virgo asks you to develop discernment and serve with humility, but it also challenges you to recognize the value of imperfection. It’s a call to use your sharp mind and detailed approach to improve systems, whether internal or external, in a way that honors the divine order of the universe. In essence, the Sun in Virgo is about integrating spiritual awareness into the mundane, finding the sacred in the everyday.

Through the Houses:

First House: You approach life with a sense of duty and a desire to improve yourself and your environment. The Sun in Virgo in the first house makes you highly self-aware and critical, but the deeper lesson is to use this energy for self-improvement rather than self-judgment. You are called to embody humility and service in your personal expression.

Second House: You bring a practical and analytical approach to finances and self-worth. The Sun here challenges you to recognize that your true value lies not just in what you possess but in your ability to serve others and improve systems. Your lesson is to find security through competence and purpose, not just material wealth.

Third House: Communication and learning are approached with precision and attention to detail. The Sun in Virgo in this house asks you to use your intellect to solve problems and refine your ideas. The deeper calling is to use your words to heal or improve the lives of others, combining knowledge with compassion.

Fourth House: Your emotional foundation is rooted in a desire for order and stability at home. The Sun in Virgo here pushes you to create a nurturing environment that promotes health and well-being. The lesson is to avoid perfectionism in your personal life, instead focusing on cultivating emotional security through small, meaningful improvements.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are approached with a meticulous eye for detail. The Sun in Virgo in this house challenges you to take pride in your creative work but also to let go of the need for perfection. You are called to embrace joy in the process of creation rather than focusing solely on the outcome.

Sixth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun in Virgo, emphasizing service, health, and daily routines. You are driven to improve yourself and others through work or health-related activities. The deeper lesson is to balance service with self-care, ensuring that you are not sacrificing your well-being for the sake of perfection.

Seventh House: Relationships for you are about service and mutual improvement. The Sun in Virgo here challenges you to offer support and care to your partner without becoming overly critical or nitpicky. The deeper calling is to create harmonious relationships that are based on mutual growth and understanding, with a focus on refinement, not criticism.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and shared resources with an analytical and practical mindset. The Sun in Virgo in the eighth house asks you to be discerning in matters of intimacy and trust, but the deeper lesson is to surrender control and trust the process of transformation, using your intellect to navigate life’s mysteries.

Ninth House: Your pursuit of higher knowledge and spirituality is grounded in practical wisdom. The Sun in Virgo here encourages you to study philosophy or spirituality with an analytical eye, but it also challenges you to integrate what you learn into your daily life. The deeper lesson is to find divine order in both grand and mundane aspects of life.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are driven by a desire for excellence and service. The Sun in Virgo in this house makes you a diligent and responsible leader, but the deeper challenge is to ensure that your pursuit of perfection does not lead to burnout. You are called to lead by example, improving systems for the greater good without becoming overly self-critical.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are approached with a desire for improvement and practicality. The Sun in Virgo here asks you to refine your social impact, focusing on causes that benefit others. The deeper lesson is to avoid over-analyzing group dynamics and instead focus on how you can contribute meaningfully to collective goals.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Virgo in the twelfth house draws your attention to the need for inner purification and spiritual service. You may feel a strong urge to improve yourself on a subconscious level, but the deeper lesson is about letting go of perfectionism and embracing the imperfections of the soul. Your calling is to serve through humility and spiritual dedication, recognizing the divine in the smallest details of life.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Libra is in its debilitation, meaning it is in a sign where it struggles to express its natural energy. Libra, ruled by Venus, is about balance, harmony, and relationships, whereas the Sun represents individuality, ego, and personal power. The deeper significance of the Sun in Libra lies in the journey of learning to balance personal will with the needs and desires of others. This placement is not just about compromise or diplomacy—it’s about understanding the dance between self and other, and how true power is found through collaboration, fairness, and mutual respect. The Sun in Libra challenges you to cultivate your individuality without overshadowing others, teaching you the importance of shared success and the value of harmonious relationships.

Through the Houses:

First House: You are naturally diplomatic and focused on creating harmony in your surroundings. However, the Sun in Libra in the first house challenges you to develop a stronger sense of self while maintaining your desire for balance. The deeper lesson is to find inner equilibrium between your personal identity and your role in relationships.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is linked to partnerships and fairness. The Sun in Libra here asks you to balance personal gain with ethical and fair practices. The deeper calling is to understand that true value lies not only in material wealth but also in the quality of your relationships and how you treat others.

Third House: Communication for you is focused on fairness and diplomacy. The Sun in Libra in this house challenges you to assert your voice without losing sight of harmony. The lesson is to learn how to speak your truth while fostering mutual understanding, making sure your intellectual pursuits benefit both yourself and those around you.

Fourth House: You seek emotional security through balance and fairness in your home life. The Sun in Libra here urges you to create a peaceful and harmonious family environment, but the deeper lesson is to ensure that your emotional needs are not sacrificed in the pursuit of external harmony. Finding balance between giving and receiving is key.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are linked to beauty, balance, and refinement. The Sun in Libra in this house calls you to express yourself in ways that inspire harmony and peace. The deeper challenge is to embrace your individuality in your creative endeavors without overly relying on the approval of others.

Sixth House: Your approach to work and service is grounded in a desire to create harmony and fairness in your environment. The Sun in Libra here challenges you to maintain balance in your work relationships and daily routines, ensuring that you are not overextending yourself in the name of harmony. The deeper lesson is to serve in a way that honors both yourself and others.

Seventh House: This is a natural placement for the Sun in Libra, emphasizing the importance of partnerships. You are deeply invested in creating balanced and harmonious relationships, but the challenge is to avoid losing yourself in the process. The lesson is to find equal partnerships where both individuals can shine, rather than sacrificing your individuality for the sake of peace.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and shared resources with a focus on balance and fairness. The Sun in Libra in this house urges you to navigate deep emotional or financial matters with diplomacy and grace. The deeper lesson is to learn how to assert your own needs and boundaries while maintaining harmony in these intense areas of life.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and truth is guided by principles of fairness and justice. The Sun in Libra here calls you to explore philosophies and belief systems that emphasize balance and harmony. The deeper challenge is to remain true to your personal beliefs while respecting the perspectives of others, finding common ground in your spiritual journey.

Tenth House: In your career and public life, you strive to create balance and fairness. The Sun in Libra in the tenth house makes you a natural diplomat or mediator in professional settings, but the deeper lesson is to assert your leadership in a way that honors both your individual goals and the collective good. True success comes from fostering cooperation and mutual respect.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are centered around creating harmony within groups. The Sun in Libra here challenges you to take a leadership role in social causes or communities, promoting fairness and equality. The deeper lesson is to ensure that your personal aspirations align with the greater good, finding a balance between self-interest and collective progress.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Libra in the twelfth house draws your focus inward, emphasizing the need to balance your inner world. You may feel a strong urge to create peace and harmony within yourself, but the deeper lesson is about releasing attachments to external validation. This placement encourages you to find balance through spiritual surrender, letting go of the need for approval and finding harmony within.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Scorpio brings intensity, depth, and transformation. Scorpio is ruled by Mars and Ketu (as well as Pluto in modern Astrology), and when the Sun is placed here, its fiery energy is channeled into the mysterious, hidden, and transformational aspects of life. The deeper significance of the Sun in Scorpio lies in its ability to face the darkness within, using challenges and crises as tools for personal and spiritual growth. This is a placement that demands inner strength, emotional resilience, and the courage to embrace the unknown. The Sun in Scorpio pushes you to go beyond superficiality, compelling you to dive deep into the core of your being, where true power lies. It’s a journey of self-discovery and empowerment through transformation and shedding old layers of identity.

Through the Houses:

First House: You exude intensity and magnetic presence. The Sun in Scorpio in the first house makes you fiercely self-aware, with a powerful need to understand yourself and your deeper motivations. The lesson here is to balance your desire for control with the need for personal transformation, using your intense willpower for self-mastery rather than domination.

Second House: Your approach to security and wealth is rooted in emotional and psychological depth. The Sun in Scorpio here challenges you to transform your relationship with material resources, recognizing that true worth comes from within. The deeper calling is to release attachments to possessions and instead cultivate inner value and resilience.

Third House: Communication for you is intense and profound. The Sun in Scorpio in this house urges you to explore hidden truths and express yourself with emotional depth. The deeper lesson is to learn how to channel your intensity in a constructive way, using your words to empower others and uncover the truth, without becoming overly secretive or manipulative.

Fourth House: Your emotional security is tied to transformation and deep psychological insight. The Sun in Scorpio here challenges you to confront old family patterns or emotional wounds. The deeper lesson is to create a foundation of inner strength, where emotional depth is a source of power rather than vulnerability.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are intense and transformative. The Sun in Scorpio in this house calls you to express your passion through creative endeavors or romantic pursuits that challenge you to grow and evolve. The deeper challenge is to embrace vulnerability in your self-expression, allowing your inner power to shine through without fear.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with intensity and determination. The Sun in Scorpio in the sixth house challenges you to transform your daily routines and health habits, using discipline and willpower. The deeper lesson is to serve others in a way that is both empowering and transformative, ensuring that your efforts lead to growth and healing.

Seventh House: Relationships are deeply transformative for you. The Sun in Scorpio in this house makes you seek intense emotional connections, but the challenge is to balance power dynamics within partnerships. The deeper calling is to engage in relationships that foster mutual growth and transformation, where both individuals are empowered rather than controlled.

Eighth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, amplifying your connection to transformation, shared resources, and deep psychological insight. The Sun in Scorpio here challenges you to embrace change and personal transformation, using crises or challenges as catalysts for growth. The lesson is to find empowerment through surrender, accepting the cycles of death and rebirth in life.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and spirituality is marked by intensity and a desire for deep transformation. The Sun in Scorpio here pushes you to explore esoteric or hidden wisdom, seeking truth beyond the surface. The deeper challenge is to integrate this knowledge into your life in a way that fosters personal evolution and spiritual empowerment.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are marked by a need for control, power, and transformation. The Sun in Scorpio in the tenth house challenges you to find a career path that allows you to harness your intensity and emotional depth. The lesson here is to lead through personal transformation, inspiring others through your ability to face challenges and rise stronger.

Eleventh House: You seek intense and transformative connections within your social circles. The Sun in Scorpio here challenges you to lead groups or communities through times of change or crisis, using your emotional insight to guide others. The deeper lesson is to ensure that your long-term goals align with your need for personal transformation and collective growth.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Scorpio in the twelfth house draws your attention to the subconscious, spiritual transformation, and hidden aspects of life. You are called to explore the depths of your inner world, facing fears and psychological shadows. The deeper lesson is to embrace spiritual surrender, allowing yourself to undergo profound transformation on a soul level, finding power in letting go.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Sagittarius represents the quest for higher knowledge, truth, and spiritual exploration. Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the planet of wisdom and expansion, and when the Sun is placed here, it brings a thirst for adventure, philosophical insight, and meaning. The deeper significance of the Sun in Sagittarius is about embracing the journey of life as a path to enlightenment. It’s not just about seeking truth for the sake of knowledge but using that truth to grow spiritually and to uplift others. The Sun in Sagittarius urges you to live with a sense of purpose, finding freedom through wisdom and the courage to pursue your ideals. It is a call to align your actions with your higher principles, expanding not only your mind but your soul.

Through the Houses:

First House: You embody the spirit of adventure and philosophical inquiry. The Sun in Sagittarius in the first house challenges you to lead with wisdom and optimism, inspiring others through your pursuit of truth. The deeper lesson is to embrace life as a journey, using your personal experiences as opportunities for spiritual growth and self-discovery.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is influenced by your higher ideals and philosophical values. The Sun in Sagittarius here challenges you to see material resources as a tool for expanding your understanding of the world. The deeper lesson is to cultivate a sense of inner abundance, recognizing that true wealth lies in your wisdom and integrity.

Third House: Communication and learning are driven by a thirst for knowledge and a desire to share your insights with others. The Sun in Sagittarius in this house pushes you to explore different perspectives and expand your intellectual horizons. The lesson is to use your words and ideas to inspire others, sharing wisdom that uplifts and enlightens.

Fourth House: Your emotional foundation is rooted in a sense of freedom and higher purpose. The Sun in Sagittarius here challenges you to create a home environment that supports your spiritual growth and exploration. The deeper lesson is to balance your need for adventure with the importance of emotional security, finding home within yourself.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are deeply linked to your pursuit of truth and spiritual ideals. The Sun in Sagittarius in this house urges you to express yourself through teaching, art, or creative endeavors that reflect your philosophical insights. The deeper calling is to share your joy and wisdom with others, inspiring them to seek higher meaning in life.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with a sense of purpose and dedication to a higher ideal. The Sun in Sagittarius in the sixth house challenges you to find meaning in your daily routines, using your work as a vehicle for spiritual and personal growth. The deeper lesson is to align your service with your higher principles, ensuring that your efforts contribute to the greater good.

Seventh House: Relationships are a source of growth and expansion for you. The Sun in Sagittarius here calls you to seek partnerships that support your intellectual and spiritual journey. The challenge is to maintain your sense of freedom and individuality while fostering meaningful connections. The deeper lesson is to create relationships based on shared ideals and mutual growth.

Eighth House: You are drawn to the mysteries of life and transformation, approaching these themes with a philosophical mindset. The Sun in Sagittarius in this house challenges you to explore the deeper truths behind life, death, and rebirth. The lesson is to use transformation as a tool for spiritual growth, seeking wisdom through life’s profound changes.

Ninth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, amplifying your connection to higher knowledge, spirituality, and truth-seeking. The Sun in Sagittarius in the ninth house makes you a natural teacher, philosopher, or spiritual guide. The deeper calling is to share your wisdom with others, using your insights to inspire and uplift those around you.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are driven by a desire to make a meaningful impact on the world. The Sun in Sagittarius in the tenth house challenges you to align your professional path with your higher ideals, seeking success through contribution to a greater cause. The lesson is to lead with integrity, using your career as a platform for spreading wisdom and positivity.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are influenced by your ideals and desire for expansion. The Sun in Sagittarius here urges you to contribute to causes that promote growth, wisdom, and spiritual enlightenment within the collective. The deeper lesson is to align your personal aspirations with the greater good, ensuring that your influence leads to positive change.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Sagittarius in the twelfth house draws your focus to spiritual exploration and inner wisdom. You are called to seek truth through introspection and spiritual practices that transcend the material world. The deeper lesson is about finding freedom and enlightenment through surrender, letting go of worldly attachments to embrace your soul’s higher purpose.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Capricorn is about discipline, responsibility, and long-term goals. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet of structure, karma, and time, and when the Sun is placed here, it brings a focus on ambition, duty, and mastery of material reality. However, the deeper significance of the Sun in Capricorn lies in learning to balance worldly success with inner integrity. It’s not just about climbing the social or professional ladder—it’s about doing so in a way that reflects your core values and contributes to something greater than yourself. The Sun in Capricorn urges you to take responsibility for your path, harnessing your inner strength and resilience to build a legacy that lasts. This placement teaches the soul to endure challenges with patience, knowing that true success comes through steady effort and commitment to higher ideals.

Through the Houses:

First House: You carry yourself with a sense of responsibility and seriousness. The Sun in Capricorn in the first house makes you goal-oriented and focused on long-term achievements. The deeper lesson is to balance your ambition with self-compassion, ensuring that your drive for success doesn’t come at the cost of your inner peace and well-being.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is practical and grounded. The Sun in Capricorn here challenges you to build financial stability through hard work and careful planning. The deeper calling is to understand that true security comes not only from material wealth but also from a solid foundation of values and self-discipline.

Third House: Communication and learning are approached with a structured and methodical mindset. The Sun in Capricorn in this house pushes you to express yourself with authority and clarity. The deeper lesson is to use your words and intellect to create something lasting, ensuring that your ideas contribute to the practical and long-term improvement of your environment.

Fourth House: Your sense of emotional security is rooted in structure and stability at home. The Sun in Capricorn here challenges you to create a solid foundation for yourself and your family, but the deeper lesson is to recognize that true emotional security comes from inner stability, not just external order or material success.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are approached with discipline and a desire to produce something of lasting value. The Sun in Capricorn in this house encourages you to take a serious approach to your creative projects, but the deeper lesson is to find joy in the process, allowing your inner child to flourish even within structure.

Sixth House: You bring a strong sense of duty and responsibility to your work and service. The Sun in Capricorn in the sixth house challenges you to approach your daily routines with discipline, ensuring that your work contributes to your long-term goals. The deeper lesson is to balance hard work with self-care, ensuring that your dedication to service doesn’t lead to burnout.

Seventh House: Relationships for you are about commitment and long-term stability. The Sun in Capricorn in this house challenges you to approach partnerships with maturity and responsibility. The deeper calling is to create relationships that are built on mutual respect and shared goals, ensuring that both partners grow together over time.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and shared resources with caution and a desire for control. The Sun in Capricorn in this house challenges you to face deep psychological or financial issues with discipline and perseverance. The deeper lesson is to embrace change as a necessary part of life, using transformation as a tool for personal and spiritual growth.

Ninth House: Your pursuit of higher knowledge and truth is grounded in practicality and long-term vision. The Sun in Capricorn here pushes you to seek wisdom that can be applied in tangible ways, ensuring that your philosophical or spiritual pursuits lead to lasting success. The deeper lesson is to find balance between practicality and the pursuit of higher ideals.

Tenth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, amplifying your ambition and desire for public recognition. The Sun in Capricorn in the tenth house makes you a natural leader, but the deeper challenge is to ensure that your success aligns with your inner values. You are called to lead with integrity, building a legacy that reflects your highest principles.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are focused on achieving practical results and contributing to society in meaningful ways. The Sun in Capricorn in this house challenges you to use your influence to create lasting change within your community. The deeper lesson is to ensure that your personal ambitions align with the collective good, balancing individual success with social responsibility.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Capricorn in the twelfth house draws your focus inward, emphasizing the need for spiritual discipline and inner work. You are called to explore the deeper aspects of your subconscious and face your karmic responsibilities with patience and perseverance. The deeper lesson is about finding spiritual freedom through structure, using discipline to transcend material limitations and align with your soul’s higher purpose.

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Aquarius brings a focus on innovation, individuality, and collective consciousness. Aquarius is ruled by Saturn and co-ruled by Rahu (as well as Uranus in modern Astrology), which gives this sign a unique blend of traditional and unconventional energy. The deeper significance of the Sun in Aquarius is about balancing personal identity with the greater good. It’s not just about standing out or being different—it’s about using your individuality to serve a higher purpose. The Sun in Aquarius urges you to embrace your role as a visionary, someone who can look beyond the present and see the potential for progress and transformation in society. This placement teaches the soul to rise above ego-based desires and contribute to the collective evolution, while maintaining authenticity and freedom.

Through the Houses:

First House: You carry yourself with a strong sense of individuality and a desire to be different from the norm. The Sun in Aquarius in the first house challenges you to use your unique perspective for the betterment of society. The deeper lesson is to balance your personal identity with a sense of responsibility toward the collective, becoming a leader who inspires change.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is unconventional, and you may seek to build financial stability through innovative means. The Sun in Aquarius here challenges you to redefine traditional ideas of wealth, focusing on how your resources can benefit the collective. The deeper lesson is to find value in originality and to use your talents to create something lasting for society.

Third House: Communication and learning for you are driven by a desire for new ideas and progressive thinking. The Sun in Aquarius in this house pushes you to challenge conventional wisdom and explore different ways of thinking. The lesson here is to use your voice to inspire others toward innovation and change, ensuring that your ideas contribute to the greater good.

Fourth House: Your sense of emotional security is linked to freedom and unconventional family dynamics. The Sun in Aquarius in the fourth house challenges you to create a home environment that allows for individuality and growth. The deeper lesson is to balance your need for independence with emotional connection, ensuring that your sense of home is both grounding and liberating.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are infused with innovation and a desire to challenge norms. The Sun in Aquarius in this house calls you to express yourself in ways that are unique and ahead of your time. The deeper challenge is to use your creative gifts to inspire progress, not just for personal fulfillment but for the advancement of society.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with an unconventional mindset, often seeking to improve systems or innovate in your routines. The Sun in Aquarius in the sixth house challenges you to use your work as a vehicle for societal progress, ensuring that your efforts benefit the collective. The deeper lesson is to balance your desire for change with practicality, ensuring that your innovations have lasting value.

Seventh House: Relationships for you are about equality, freedom, and mutual respect. The Sun in Aquarius in this house challenges you to build partnerships that honor individuality and personal growth. The deeper lesson is to create relationships where both partners can contribute to the greater good, using the relationship as a platform for collective evolution.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and shared resources with a progressive and detached mindset. The Sun in Aquarius in the eighth house challenges you to explore deep psychological or financial issues with an innovative approach. The lesson is to embrace change as a form of personal and collective growth, using transformation to break free from old patterns and evolve.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and spirituality is unconventional and often ahead of its time. The Sun in Aquarius in this house pushes you to explore new philosophies, spiritual systems, or cultural ideas that challenge the status quo. The deeper calling is to use your knowledge to inspire others to think beyond traditional boundaries, contributing to the collective consciousness.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are driven by a desire to innovate and challenge traditional systems. The Sun in Aquarius in the tenth house makes you a natural leader in fields that require vision and forward thinking. The deeper lesson is to align your career with the greater good, ensuring that your contributions have a lasting impact on society.

Eleventh House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, amplifying your connection to social causes and long-term goals that benefit humanity. The Sun in Aquarius in the eleventh house challenges you to lead within your social circles, using your influence to bring about change and progress. The deeper lesson is to balance your personal aspirations with the collective good, ensuring that your efforts contribute to a better future.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Aquarius in the twelfth house draws your focus inward, emphasizing the need for spiritual liberation and detachment from ego. You are called to explore the hidden aspects of yourself and society, seeking to break free from limiting beliefs or patterns. The deeper lesson is to find freedom through spiritual surrender, using your individuality as a tool for collective healing and awakening.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Pisces represents spiritual insight, compassion, and the dissolution of the ego. Pisces is ruled by Jupiter and co-ruled by Neptune in modern astrology, which gives this sign a deeply intuitive, creative, and mystical energy. The deeper significance of the Sun in Pisces lies in its ability to transcend the material world and connect with the divine. It’s not just about being sensitive or imaginative—this placement is about the soul’s journey toward unity, empathy, and universal love. The Sun in Pisces encourages you to release attachments to ego-based desires and embrace the fluid, ever-changing nature of life. This is a call to live with compassion, allowing your inner light to guide others toward healing and spiritual awakening.

Through the Houses:

First House: You embody the Piscean qualities of empathy, intuition, and spiritual depth. The Sun in Pisces in the first house challenges you to lead with compassion and sensitivity, but the deeper lesson is to develop a strong inner sense of self without being overwhelmed by the emotions of others. You are called to express your spiritual nature while maintaining personal boundaries.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is influenced by a desire to connect with something greater than material possessions. The Sun in Pisces here challenges you to redefine your values, focusing on spiritual and emotional wealth rather than material accumulation. The deeper lesson is to cultivate a sense of security that comes from inner peace and trust in the flow of life.

Third House: Communication and learning are infused with intuition and imagination. The Sun in Pisces in this house pushes you to express yourself creatively, often through storytelling or spiritual insight. The deeper calling is to use your voice to inspire and uplift others, sharing wisdom that transcends logic and touches the heart.

Fourth House: Your emotional foundation is rooted in spirituality and compassion. The Sun in Pisces in the fourth house challenges you to create a home environment that nurtures your soul and allows for spiritual growth. The lesson is to find emotional security through inner peace and connection to the divine, rather than relying solely on external stability.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are deeply intuitive and imaginative. The Sun in Pisces in this house urges you to express yourself through artistic or spiritual channels, embracing your inner world. The deeper challenge is to let go of perfectionism and allow your creative energy to flow freely, trusting in the process rather than focusing on the outcome.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with compassion and a desire to help others. The Sun in Pisces in the sixth house challenges you to find meaning in your daily routines by aligning them with your spiritual values. The deeper lesson is to balance your desire to serve with self-care, ensuring that your work contributes to both your own well-being and that of others.

Seventh House: Relationships are approached with empathy, compassion, and spiritual understanding. The Sun in Pisces in this house challenges you to create partnerships that are based on mutual emotional and spiritual growth. The deeper lesson is to balance your need for connection with your inner spiritual journey, ensuring that relationships support your higher purpose.

Eighth House: You are drawn to the mysteries of life, and your approach to transformation is deeply spiritual. The Sun in Pisces in the eighth house challenges you to embrace change and transformation as part of your spiritual evolution. The lesson is to release attachments to control and trust in the process of life, allowing yourself to surrender to deeper truths and emotional healing.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and truth is infused with a spiritual and intuitive approach. The Sun in Pisces here pushes you to explore different spiritual philosophies and to seek meaning beyond the material world. The deeper calling is to integrate these insights into your life and share them with others, using your wisdom to inspire and guide.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are guided by your desire to contribute to something greater than yourself. The Sun in Pisces in the tenth house challenges you to align your professional life with your spiritual purpose, using your career as a platform for compassion, healing, and creativity. The deeper lesson is to lead with humility and empathy, creating a legacy that reflects your spiritual values.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are influenced by your vision for a compassionate and connected world. The Sun in Pisces here challenges you to contribute to causes that uplift humanity and promote healing. The deeper lesson is to align your personal dreams with the collective good, ensuring that your influence brings positive change and spiritual progress to your community.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Pisces in the twelfth house draws your focus inward, emphasizing the need for spiritual reflection, healing, and connection to the divine. You are called to explore the hidden realms of your subconscious, surrendering to the flow of life. The deeper lesson is about finding peace in solitude, using your spiritual insights to guide yourself and others toward enlightenment and inner peace.

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

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saintobio · 10 months ago

Text

sincerely yours. (9)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after.

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+

tags/warnings. profanity, usage of alcohol, mentions of cheating, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationship, explicit smut

series masterlist -> episode ten

Satoru had a major problem.

And it was his self-control. His lack of self-control was the reason he had engaged himself in an adulterous relationship back when he was married. His lack of self-control was the reason why you had become the recipient of his unreasonable anger in the early stages of your marriage. His lack of self-control was the reason why, out of all the women in the world, he was now sleeping with a friend of yours. For God’s sake, his lack of self-control was probably the reason why you were also pushed to your limits, choosing to cut your marital ties with him and leaving only the scraps of his role as a parent to Sachiro.

Back when he was attending his weekly therapy sessions, his therapist told him that part of what he needed to learn was to control his impulses, resist temptations, and actively exercise his willpower. They were easier to achieve then than now, since he was the loneliest man at the time with no friends, no wife, no son, and no bustling company to run. His decisions remained untainted, his temptations unchallenged, his emotions uninfluenced—a solitary journey at its finest. He was all by himself. How come? It was because he was sent by his mom to Osaka to temporarily seclude him from his harrowing memories in Tokyo, compelling him to sever ties with the outside world and immerse solely in personal convalescence. Reflecting now, it felt no different than being sent to a psychiatric hospital.

He could say it worked at the time. He learned how to keep his emotions at bay. He learned how to control his thoughts, throwing away the bad and keeping only the good. He was a new man by the time he returned to Tokyo, prepared as ever to take on his role as the Chairman of the Gojou Group, ready to once again try and live a normal life. But the moment news had spread about his ex-wife's marriage to his business rival, all the self-control he had painstakingly cultivated seemed to have evaporated in an instant.

Everything also went downhill after that.

He wasn’t going to list down all of the things that happened nor the impact it had on him since you yourself were a witness to them. But if he was going to look at the way your return has changed the trajectory of his life 3 years after you first left, he would still at a hundred percent put all the blame on his shoulders. None of this domino effect would end up like this if he had been a faithful and loving husband in the first place. The pressure from his father was not the only root of all this, the branches also extended to his corporate greed which ultimately ruined his chance at a fruitful marriage with you.

But at least, the chaos should have settled by now. You chose to move forward and he decided to respect your decision by finding his way to another. This should free you both from the emotional torture that had you imprisoned in each other's cage for the longest time. He would still be there for you as the father of your child, but otherwise, he was happy that you had Toji Zen’in by your side to fill in the marital gaps that he had failed to complete.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. The warm water fell on his body in rivulets, soaking him completely so early in the morning as he decided to take a long shower. For how long? He couldn’t tell. He could stay there for hours if need be. He had to let his mind wander on its own, with a hand pressed against the wall, and another stroking his white hair back. Despite accepting the fact that Toji now owned your love and affection… well, wasn’t that son of a gun too lucky? Did he even realize that the woman he would marry was once Satoru’s entire universe?

Ah, but who cares? Satoru scoffed inwardly, leaning his head back to let the water hit his face. He had Akemi, so why did it matter if you had Toji? He wasn’t bitter. He was just trying to reason with himself that you deserved to be with someone you really, truthfully loved. And he deserved that, too. Maybe not now, but at the perfect time, he could relive the life of a married man after learning from his mistakes the hard way. A much better one. A married man who would never in his life betray, hurt, or ruin his partner. A doting husband who would offer his whole life just to make her happy. He promised to himself that Akemi should have that kind of man from him.

Though, he could ask himself, how far was he from achieving that? He did practice his self-control last night when joined you in the pool—his face, inches away from you. Hand gripping your hip. Eye-to-eye. Skin-to-skin. Your warm breath fanning his cheek. Just another step forward and your lips would touch. But he didn’t let that happen. He mustered all of his power to pull back from the gravity that was drawing him closer to you. Still, he couldn’t deny that you looked absolutely gorgeous last night. As the moonlight illuminated your face, he could swear that the stars also sparkled on your eyes. They must be from the tears you were desperately holding back, but either way, you were still so goddamn beautiful. He almost couldn’t keep his eyes off you last night and had to distract himself from looking at your lips, your collarbone, your chest, your curves…

“Fuck.”

Talk about self-control.

Satoru had none of that right now. His body reacted involuntarily to the thought of you last night. The sensual thought of you. The what-ifs.

What if he had wrapped your legs around his waist and enveloped your lips into a passionate kiss?

He took a deep breath, still holding onto the wall as his other hand traveled to his growing member.

What if he had carried you all the way into the living room and laid you naked on the couch?

Closing his eyes, his hand started moving on its own, stroking his hardened cock and feeling every ridge as he pleasured himself.

What if you had let him devour you? Let him roll his tongue on your entrance and taste your sweet, sweet flesh?

Gojou let out a moan. A quiet yet desperate moan when he continued to jerk himself off faster and rougher. Damn it. He had to keep it low and he better not be heard committing such a sin in the bathroom. Although, he was confident that you were still sound asleep next to Sachiro in your bedroom, so he didn't think you would hear the noise he was making.

After all, it was shameless to know what was driving his feral thoughts right now. Thoughts of you letting him slide his tip along your entrance. Thoughts of him ramming his cock inside your tight cunt, being squeezed by your soft, velvet walls. Thoughts of your breasts bouncing wildly as he continued to hit your most sensitive spot. Fuck. Faster. He would have taken you on all fours, too. He would have let you ride his hardened shaft. He would have pressed you against the sofa and put your legs above his shoulders, letting you milk his cock with the tightness of your cunt. Satoru would release his warm seed into you in every position. He would shoot every drop of his cum straight to your womb, no doubt impregnating you for the second time around. He would absolutely love that. He would love seeing the residues of his wanton desire for you seeping out of your pussy. He would be at bliss watching your belly grow a few months after that, knowing that he had created yet another beautiful life inside of you.

“Y/N…”

Awakened by his senses, Satoru opened his eyes and saw the sticky white mess on his hand and on the wall. What the hell did he just do? More importantly, what the hell was he thinking of?

No one should know about that. Not you, not even Akemi. He didn’t cheat on her, no. He didn’t do anything with you. That shouldn’t be counted as cheating. He didn’t even touch you. And he wasn't even officially dating Akemi.

No, no…

Absolutely not.

Drowning into a pool of guilt, the first thing he did after that sinful shower session was to contact his supposed girlfriend not-girlfiend. And to make things even more awkward, you entered the kitchen in silence at the right time, carrying a sleepy Sachiro in your arms, unaware of the dilemma that was sending your ex-lover into a spiral.

“Morning,” he greeted almost inaudibly, clearing his throat and taking a sip of coffee afterwards. He had to think straight.

“Morning,” was your simple and oblivious reply as you went about your daily morning routine.

Gojou, on the other hand, was typing on his phone because Akemi wasn’t answering his FaceTime calls. He had completely forgotten to update her all day because he had been a little bit too occupied the moment he landed in America. She must be overthinking why he hadn’t reached out to her until now, and he felt extremely awful and responsible for that, but she couldn’t be fast asleep that early, right? It was 7:00 a.m. in New York, so that meant it was only 9:00 p.m. back home.

He nervously rang her number once more, mumbling a ‘please answer’ as he watched her caller ID appear on the screen.

“Dada,” called Sachiro, looking at him as his mother sat him on the high chair to prepare his breakfast.

Still holding his phone, Satoru walked to his son and placed a gentle kiss on his tiny forehead. “Morning, Sachi. Did you sleep well?”

The toddler nodded at him, drinking milk from the baby bottle that he was holding with both hands. His eyes were wide and blue—quite the same hues of blue that would remind you of a clear sky. Satoru couldn’t help but pinch his adorable son’s cheeks.

And while you were busy picking out food from the pantry, Akemi finally answered his call after the fourth attempt and showed her beautiful, soft features on the screen. His eyes immediately lit up at the sight of her. “Hey, how are you?”

He could tell she was still a bit distant and upset because of what happened two weeks ago, when she claimed to have heard him say your name during his sleep. He already made an excuse for it as he also didn’t know why he even did it in the first place, but Akemi was still understandably hurt. He couldn’t blame her.

“I’m fine, how are you?” she tiredly asked, seemingly heading towards her bed. “I just got home from work, that's why I wasn’t answering.”

He could see, in the corner of his eyes, that you were glancing at him but he didn’t return it. All of his focus was on Akemi, feeling bad that he hadn’t exactly been a good partner for her lately. Especially after the shit he just did in the shower this morning, but that was a secret that was meant to be buried. “Alright, did you have dinner already? It’s morning here so I’m having breakfast.”

She offered a small smile albeit the visible exhaustion on her eyes. “I did. How’s Sachiro doing?”

“You wanna see him?” He walked closer to his son, showing him on the screen as his big blue eyes stared at the woman on the other end of the line. “Sachi, say hi to Auntie ‘Kemi.”

“Hiii~” Sachiro happily greeted Akemi, while the latter cooed at the sight of his son. She spoke to him with a gentle and motherly tone, weaving warmth and love into her words. It made his heart full knowing that Akemi would wholeheartedly treat his child as her own, because if there was a slight possibility that she wouldn’t, she knew that Satoru would rather let her go. His child was still more important than any other woman. And so if his future partner couldn’t accept the fact that he had a child with his ex-wife, then they shouldn’t be in his life after all. The case was different with Akemi because she was already your friend and she had the chance to see Sachiro grow up before Gojou even knew his son existed at all. It was a bit complicated, but things turned out to be easier on the part of acceptance.

The only problem was you.

Because by the time the call ended, Satoru could tell that you weren’t in the best mood as you ate breakfast next to Sachiro in complete silence. Your eyebrows were curled into annoyance, and yet your eyes held sadness in them, an expression that had become difficult for him to fathom. Were you jealous of Akemi? He assumed you would say no, but your expressions showed otherwise.

“Y/N,” he called for your attention, hoping that you would look into his eyes for a little bit. Yet, not a chance did you do. “What’s our agenda for today?”

You seemed irritated, if anything. You refused to look at him as you gave a curt reply. “I communicated everything you needed to know via email. You should have checked it instead of letting Miwa do everything for you.”

Jeez. You were definitely angry. “Okay.” He cleared his throat once more. “I just asked in case there was a last minute change.”

“There isn’t. I would have said so if there is.”

“Right.”

Satoru didn’t know how to act in front of his ex-wife anymore. Now that he had seemed to ignite your pique, he chose not to say anything else further as you two finished your meals and cleaned up after yourselves. The only time he spoke again was when he offered to bathe Sachiro so that you could focus on yourself.

You agreed.

And he did his part.

It was simple give-and-take. A transactional relationship, if you must. Nothing else would blossom from that except your responsibilities as parents for Sachiro.

——

The New York trip was already as awkward as it was. And it only just started.

To be fair, it wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable if only Gojou had not decided to make it so. He was the one that made the atmosphere unpleasant by trying to savor every inch of closeness he could get to your skin, only to pull away as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t care about how it made you feel. He even had the audacity to lecture you on how to go about being good parents and setting a good example to Sachiro. Then suddenly, the next morning, he would act like such a loyal and caring partner to Akemi.

The thought of his loyalty made you scoff on the inside. He should be the absolute last one to be saying that. He should be the last one to profess how much of a loyal man he was trying to be to his new girl.

Besides, even before this trip was arranged, you had already made it clear on your mind that the sole purpose of going to New York was for Sachiro's sake. Any interaction outside the need to be there for your son would be unnecessary. He wasn’t someone you still needed in your own personal life nor did he need you in his. Your past relationship no longer mattered in this situation and all that was left was for it to be forgotten. But even with your resistance to be anything more than a parent to your son, Satoru still respected you. He still showed, even in little ways, that he cared about your comfort throughout the trip.

Five days had gone by, and everything you did in New York had been smooth sailing, all thanks to his grand number of connections across the USA. In a short amount of time, Sachiro’s surname had been legally changed, and everything else concerning his birth certificate had been corrected. The only issue left to address was your son’s nationality since Japan doesn’t permit dual citizenship and Sachiro would have to carry a Japanese citizenship and the Gojou name to be able to inherit his father’s assets and multinational conglomerate. You would leave that one up for Satoru to deal with, but everything else had been settled on your end.

Although this trip wasn’t exactly a vacation, Gojou insisted that you two still take Sachiro out to explore the city he grew up in. And you did so by going to Central Park, telling your ex-husband stories of how you used to bring Sachiro there in a stroller when he was still a little baby and that plenty of strangers, both locals or tourists, would coo at him the minute they took a peek at his adorable face. You also took him to the Empire State Building to get the best view of the entire New York City, and Satoru being Satoru couldn’t leave without taking a family photo with you and your son, capturing the beautiful urban cityscape behind you. You could see it in his eyes that even though he was happy to be there, he was also melancholic at the same time. Almost three years of his son’s life were spent in this famous city, without him, and it was as though the bitter memories of those three years for him were haunting him back. Sadness was reflecting off of his crystal blue eyes as he took a minute staring at the view of the city, reminding you that you were the reason why he had missed out on his baby’s first memories.

If guilt could literally eat you alive, you would have been devoured.

“Ready to go, Sachi?” Satoru asked your son, tucking his phone away after having (seemingly) sent Akemi a text message, probably updating her of where he was and what he was doing. In fact, he had been texting and calling her every now and then, as if he was doing his best to reassure her that he wasn’t doing any funny business with you. Has Akemi always been a possessive partner? Even with your years of friendship with her, she had never acted that way in her past relationship. So, was she only like that to Satoru specifically? You wondered if she would go nuts had she heard Satoru tell you how badly he wanted to make more babies with you on your first night here.

Sachiro nodded, clinging to your hand while reaching for his father’s. “Dada, hand pwease!”

Satoru did offer his hand, but mirrored the surprise on your face when your son tried to link your fingers together, urging you to hold each other's hands like a couple. You didn’t want to get too offended by it, but your ex-husband was the first one to pull away. “I, uh, made a reservation for us in Carbone,” he said, unable to exchange eye-contact, “Yuuta will meet us there.”

“Oh, he’s in New York?” you asked, pretending you didn’t notice how he acted allergic to your touch and redirected your attention to your son. “Did you hear that, Sachi? Uncle Yuuta will come and see you.”

Your little one was oblivious to the world, too distracted by the throng of people surrounding the place that he didn’t even notice how his parents were uneasy with each other. To say that you didn’t feel bad for your son was a lie, because it actually broke your heart. Even if you and Satoru were working on co-parenting and making sure Sachiro wouldn’t feel the gravity of a broken household, you knew that when he reached the right age, all of this would still have an effect on him. One day, he would still be asking questions about his parents. Questions about why you separated, why your marriage failed, and why you had to move to New York while his father stayed behind. It hurt. Deep inside, it hurt so much to know that your only son wasn’t given the chance to have a complete family and it felt like a failure on your part as his parent.

You were sure that was what Yuuta thought, too. As you met with him at a fancy restaurant in the city, you could see how his face lightened up seeing his nephew bonding with his parents as if it were a family vacation. He must have known what it was like to have a broken household. In fact, he had lived in a toxic one before, but he still grew up to be a mature and dignified young man who never let the horrors of his family’s actions affect his rational thinking. So if there was anyone in the world who would sympathize the most with Sachiro, it would be Yuuta.

“Sachi,” he spoke to your son fondly, wiping the sauce on the toddler’s chin. Yuuta chuckled as he watched the little boy's grimace after being given a small piece of broccoli. “You don’t like vegetables?”

You fixed the bib on your son’s neck. “He does, but he’s very picky with it,” you tell Yuuta, glancing at Satoru who was busy speaking on the phone with Nanami about what appeared to be matters concerning the company. “Wonder where he got it from.”

“Right.” Yuuta’s eyes turned into moon crescents as he smiled. “I remember nii-san being a little picky.”

“You hear that Sachi?” you teased your son, who looked at you with his cute puppy eyes. You knew that if you had the ability to peak through his toddler mind, it would actually be full of fried chicken. The thought made you laugh. “Don’t be like daddy, okay? Sachi needs to have his veggies so he’ll be strong when he grows up.”

“But…” Sachiro pointed to his father. “Dada is stwong.”

Satoru chimed in at the conversation after having finished the call, “That’s right, Dada’s strong. Mommy could barely even handle me.”

“Do you even know what we’re talking about?” You rolled your eyes, while Yuuta wanted to giggle, but chose to hold it back seeing the awkwardness of the situation.

Satoru shrugged and sat on his chair, eyeing the scrumptious dishes that were served to your table. He was acting like he hadn't been served more expensive meals before. “Have you tried the spicy rigatoni before? I heard it’s famous here.”

You casually answered. “Yes. Toji used to bring me here every time he visited.”

Look, you didn’t mean to overshare nor did you mean to make things even more awkward. You also didn’t mean to slap it in his face about how you were spending your years in New York with Toji. But Satoru, with his pride, took it resentfully.

“Oh, really?” His words were the opposite of his voice. He was mirthless and full of unenthusiasm before changing the topic, redirecting his attention to his step-brother instead. “How’s Harvard?”

Yuuta eased the tension by making small talk, sharing details about his university life, and making sure he didn’t contribute to the growing tension. “I’m really just trying to survive this semester so I can go back home as soon as I graduate.” After taking a sip of his Cabernet Blend, he continued, “Like I promised, I’ll help you with the company.”

You were happy, at least, to know that Satoru and Yuuta had fixed their relationship as step-brothers even after the whole incident with Nana, Eula, and their father. What used to be a relationship full of envy and competition finally became one that was full of mutual trust and support. Yuuta deserved that since he never once wished for his brother’s downfall, while Satoru also deserved to have a family member that had his back and helped him with the business without constantly fighting about inheritance. Because technically, Satoru was the sole heir of the Gojou family, and his dad only made it seem as though he would give it to Yuuta to make his own son comply with his orders. Satoru’s dad was controlling in that sense, and that was what led to all of this.

But the present was more important. Things have changed and mistakes have been learned. It was all up to you on how you were going to manage your new life moving forward.

Only, if only things were a little bit different on his side.

——

You had raised your son all by yourself for the last 3 years, so the presence of his father wasn’t really something you were used to for the longest time. How Sachiro acted around other people was solely a reflection of your teachings, discipline, and guidance as his mother. He didn’t really have a paternal figure up until now, and even if Toji was there to support your journey to motherhood, he never fully meddled with your mother-son relationship nor did he act like a replacement to Sachiro’s biological father. He loved him like his own, but respected the fact that the spot was reserved for Satoru. He knew that. He understood that, because he himself experienced raising a child alone without the presence of a mother. And if you asked him, he, too, would not want Megumi to replace the very love that he was supposed to have for his biological mom. Sure, Megumi could love and respect you, but Toji would still want him to save an unnegotiable spot for his mother in his heart. After all, she had birthed him. And in that same way, you had birthed Sachiro and created him with Satoru during your marriage. If there was anyone Sachiro should look up to, it had to be his father.

And quite frankly, the father himself was doing an excellent job.

But then again, remembering how hands-on Satoru was to you during your pregnancy, you never doubted that he would be a good parent. He may not be a perfect husband, but he loved his child with all of his heart and soul, and he would risk it all just to keep him happy.

It was new to you how, throughout the trip, you didn’t have to take care of Sachiro alone. You and Satoru helped each other harmoniously, attending to your toddler’s needs and making sure he was being prioritized. You were glad. Truly. You were grateful to see that he wasn’t an absent father and that his words weren’t empty when he promised you that he would be a responsible dad to him.

Though, at the back of your mind, you couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he welcomed another child in this world? A child that didn’t come from you? Deep inside, it hurt you to imagine him neglecting Sachiro on the side the minute he welcomed a new baby with Akemi. The reality was, the father would always prioritize the child of the current wife, not the child of the ex-wife. He would still support him, sure. But would he still pay the same level of attention that he was giving Sachiro now? You would probably break in half if Sachiro was thrown to the agonizing realm of feeling like an outsider in his own family because no child deserved that. If Satoru had that experience first-hand, he should not subject his own son to that same feeling.

You would be selfish to say this, but you wanted to seize the opportunity while Sachiro was still his only son. Hiding him from his father was your fault—you had gone through that a million times and you weren’t shy at holding yourself accountable through that mistake. However, you were already doing your best to make amends and make up for the years Sachiro had missed around his father. He was Satoru’s first and only child, and therefore he should never fight for his father’s affection. You weren’t sure what Satoru’s long term plans with Akemi were, but if they were considering having their own children someday, you would never allow your son to be pushed back at the bottom of the family tree.

Sachiro was the true first-born son of Satoru. He should never have to fight for his position in his father's eyes.

And so on the night of your flight back to Japan, when Satoru asked if he could take Sachiro with him for the rest of the week, you had no problems in saying yes. Your only wish right now was for them to spend as much time together as possible.

“Where are you taking him?” you did ask in spite of your leniency to send your son away, waiting inside the car as the pilot and crew prepared the private jet. “Please send me the full address. I need to know where he’s gonna stay and—”

“You’ll get the details from Miwa,” he casually said, rubbing Sachiro’s back as the little boy slept on his chest. He didn’t bother meeting your eyes as he talked. “I’m just taking him to my vacation home in Osaka.”

Osaka…

That was where his mother isolated him from the rest of the world when he was having terrible episodes. Episodes that worsened after he had found out that you ‘terminated’ his child and abandoned him for good. Shoko once said that they felt like Gojou disappeared from their lives while he was there, because nobody else could reach out to him. They couldn’t visit him nor could they contact him for a year or so until he was mentally ready to come back to Tokyo.

You didn’t want to pry on matters that were sensitive to him, so you chose not to say anything concerning his decision to take Sachiro to Osaka. He must have wanted to reflect on his past experiences, allowing him to heal from them as it brought him to the incommutable life he had now—life knowing that Sachiro actually existed after everything that he was made to believe.

“Please take good care of him, okay?” It was only a reminder, nothing else.

Satoru kept a straight face, nodding before he planted a kiss on his son’s forehead. “I got it from here.”

After a minute of silence, you both got out of the car and you watched him carry the peaceful Sachiro in his arms. You left the sleeping toddler a tender kiss on the cheek before parting ways. “I love you, my baby.” Stroking his hair, you kissed his tiny nose. “Mommy will see you soon.”

Satoru knew that you were staying behind. You had informed him of your plans before you even came here to the airport with him, explaining that Toji would be in Miami and that you had made arrangements to meet with your fiancé there. Satoru didn’t say anything much about it either, simply nodding his head at your decision and telling you to ‘do whatever’ because he was no longer a husband you should report your plans to. There was no hint of jealousy in his stance, but you couldn't miss the flicker of bitterness that did appear on his eyes for a millisecond.

You didn’t even say goodbye to each other as you watched them board the plane. And he didn’t even bother looking back at you to tell you to take care of yourself. Not that you expected anything from him, but a quick goodbye would have been nice since you did spend the last couple of days together. Or perhaps, he was upset about the fact that you were staying behind to meet Toji?

Either way, you were on your own now.

It took some time for you to reach Toji in Miami. He had insisted on meeting you at the airport, but because he had to meet with a foreign investor, you headed straight to the hotel he was staying at. Funny enough, you couldn’t help but compare how different it was to stay in the same accommodation as your fiancé vs with your ex-husband and son. With Toji, nothing felt uncomfortable and sharing a room as a couple was as normal as it should be, but things did feel too formal and too forced. With Satoru, it felt awkward to share the same space with him, but since your son was there, it felt like home. It felt strangely close to home, like it was only right. That staying together as a family was what your heart wanted.

Ever since Satoru went back to Japan with Sachiro, you had been feeling a wave of separation anxiety. Your mind was always left wandering towards them; how they were doing, where they were, what they had for dinner. You wondered if Sachiro was giving his father a headache. Smiling at the thought, perhaps he was giving Satoru a hard time changing his diapers.

“Everything okay?” Toji, noticing your trance, put an arm around you as you two sat at the VIP lounge of the Miami Grand Prix. This was Toji’s scene. If Satoru was a fan of horseback riding and polo, Toji preferred big time F1 races. He even personally knew the racers, the type of cars they were driving, and everything a huge fan had to know. You weren’t all that familiar with these things, so it was a little hard to keep up with his lifestyle.

“Y-Yeah, sorry,” you stammered, realizing how distracted you had been all this time. “What were you saying?”

He drank from his glass of 30 year-old Macallan, downing the liquor like it was mere water. A cloud of disappointment settled over his features. “Not interesting to you, huh?”

“No, I…” You made an effort to place a hand on his nape, giving him an apologetic peck on the lips. “I’m really sorry for zoning out. I was just… I guess I was just a little tired from New York.”

Toji placed a hand on your knee, sighing. “It’s fine. I was just trying to introduce the guys to you,” he said, scooting closer as he pointed to the racers. “You know that guy? Lewis Hamilton. He’s quite popular with the ladies,” then he moved his finger towards the other drivers, “And we got here for Ferrari, Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc, also fan favorites.”

Your eyes suddenly caught sight of Gojou’s favorite car brand. “Um, how about McLaren? Who drives for them?”

Unsure if Toji caught on or not, he did take a minute before feeding into your curiosity. “Norris and Piastri.”

You wished you had any idea about F1 so that you could be as enthusiastic as Toji was at this event. He was at his happiest right now and you didn’t want to ruin it by being a boring, uncultured fiancé, because frankly, all these women around would have done a better job at entertaining him. Toji was very eye-candy and you couldn’t blame these models from glancing up at him, especially with how manly and suave he was, dressed like a picture perfect example of an old money businessman. The likes of him were the prey of these desperate influencers, willing to sell their bodies in exchange for a night with him. But truth be told, that was their way of living and you could never find it in yourself to insult them. You didn’t want to shame them for attempting to climb the social ladder because that was how they view money and success, or at least a faster ticket to it.

As long as they didn’t try to make moves on your fiancé while you were around, you wouldn’t be so bothered by a few stares here and there.

Neither was Toji. He must have experienced being stared at during these events plenty of times before, and he probably even sent women home crying because of rejection or worse, humiliation. Now that you think of it, how did Megumi feel when his father was being hit on while watching the Grand Prix? Most importantly, why was the teenage son absent at this current event?

“Love, why didn’t you bring Megumi with you?” you inquired out of a sudden curiosity, knowing that Megumi was always present next to his father during F1 events.

Toji took a sip of the hard liquor once more. “He didn’t wanna go. He was giving me the silent treatment before I left for the US.”

Confusion further blanketed your eyes. “Did something happen back home?”

He let out a deep breath, his face signaling that he was deep in dilemma. “The Zen’in elders want to set him up for an arranged marriage,” he revealed, much to your surprise, “They wanna make sure he’s not gonna end up like me, married to someone who wasn’t ‘qualified’ to be my wife.”

At first you were confused if he was referring to you, but you realized that he was describing his late wife. Megumi’s own mother, the only woman Toji had ever loved by a mile. He fought everyone for her, even turned his back on his own family for her, but claimed that he also ultimately led her to her demise because the elders of his family harassed her until the day she died. It was a tragic love, perhaps even more tragic than yours, so you somehow understood why Toji was conflicted about Megumi’s personal life.

But you? You were strongly against it. “I don’t support arranged marriages, you know that,” you told him with conviction, sympathizing for the poor boy, “It’s not gonna end well. You know what happened to me…”

“I know.” Toji’s eyes were filled with regret. “I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it unless Megumi himself tells me he has someone he loves.”

“Did you ask?”

“He’s tight-lipped about it.”

You sighed. “Well, he’s a teenager. They get pretty shy about these things.”

Forcing a marriage was never a good thing. You couldn’t understand why the concept even existed because it didn’t benefit anyone aside from the people around the married couple. That was why they called it a marriage of convenience. They were married for everyone’s sake but themselves; family name, status, business… You have had enough of it. If only you realized it from the very beginning, you never would have subjected yourself to a loveless marriage with Satoru. Even if your love did grow eventually, things still didn’t work out for the best, and now your life was a mess. A divorced couple co-parenting their only son? There was obviously no convenience gained in that false marriage.

Megumi would just be wasting years of his life tied to a person he didn’t love and so you were hoping that Toji would fight for his son’s right. Because if he truly understood you, he would not subject his son to the same suffering you went through.

“I wish my wife was here,” mumbled Toji, forlornly, “She’d know how to handle these things better than I do.”

Were you not there for him? You swallowed your pride, hiding the pain in your voice. “Right…” A smile was all that you could offer. “I’m sure she would.”

——

Something was different about Toji and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

It wasn’t his appearance, and neither was it the way he spoke to you. He was all the same except for one thing; the look in his eyes.

He had told you this before. He said that the eyes carry the most truthful and raw emotion that you can see on someone. The presence of love would be visible in someone’s eyes just as you would see stars on a clear, night sky. The lack, however, would mean that the eyes are blank and empty like the dark void in the expanse of the universe. You didn’t have to be poetic to be able to discern the way his eyes communicated his most solemn feelings in spite of trying to show otherwise.

He must have been tired. Being caught up in your back-and-forths with your ex-husband, having to put up with your pretentious co-parenting situation, and the never ending need to keep an open mind about your situation with the same man who had ruined you. When your heart was in pieces, wasn’t he the one who tried to fix it? Wasn’t he the one who remained by your side during your darkest times?

Whether that may be true, whether he truly ever loved you, you could recognize the stark difference of the Toji that genuinely cared for you to the Toji that was only actively trying to be there for you. What had changed him all of a sudden?

“Toji, you drank a little too much.” A weary sigh escaped your lips, pulling all your might to drag your fiancé to lie comfortably in your shared bed later that night. At least, on the way to the hotel room, you had his bodyguards to thank for. They were there to haul him while he was in his drunken stupor, letting you lead the way, and dumping him carefully to his bed because there was no way you would be able to carry such a muscular man all by yourself. Now that you were alone with him, you decided to care for him the same way you used to do when Gojou was coming home drunk at night. Starting with his shoes that you took off, his shirt that you unbuttoned, his pants that you unzipped. “Come on, love. I’ll get you changed.”

The verdant hues of his eyes weren’t present. They were hiding behind his lids, refusing to meet your gaze. But if anything, he did open his mouth to speak, “...You. You wanna know a secret?”

Drunken words are sober thoughts, you reminded yourself. Of the numerous times Satoru had gotten drunk during the early stages of your marriage, it was how you found out that deep inside him, he did care for you. That in spite of his ill-tempered exterior, he was a man deprived of parental love and support. What would be the case for Toji, then?

“Yeah?” You waited for his answer, slipping his shirt off and revealing his toned body.

The scar on his mouth moved when he displayed a mirthless smile. He was as drunk as an alcoholic would be. “I don’t… think… I can love you the same way I loved my first wife.”

Your heart paused. In fact, every heartbeat became heavy. You knew how he felt, but didn’t expect him to say that out loud. “I-Is that so…?”

“Absolutely,” he mumbled, chuckling inaudibly. He was at a point where he was too far gone to realize the magnitude of the words he was saying to you. “Even if you try your best, she was everything I wanted in life and the only woman I could ever offer my heart to. She’s irreplaceable, and I don’t feel guilty about it... because I know you’re still into Satoru, too.”

“That’s…” You held your breath, holding back the sudden tears that formed in your eyes. “That’s not true.”

Toji wasn’t done yet, however. He still went on with his drunken speech like he was finally pouring out raw, yet hurtful words out of the bottle. “Who knows? You would’ve had him touch you back in New York if you didn’t have me. You would’ve had him impregnate you, have his second child with you, and guess what? He still won’t be loyal to you.”

The pain in your heart increased tenfold. Everything went still and every minute felt like a stab to your soul. Should you say something? Should you get angry at him? No, no you couldn’t. Your chest was tightening and you knew it was smart not to let such negative emotions overpower you. His words were just a little difficult to grasp because Toji never in his life had been callous with his words to you. The tears that fell from your eyes were from the betrayal that you felt after hearing the cruel words he had uttered. And yet, you tried to hold on to that thin string of hope that Toji’s words didn’t come from a place of truth.

“That’s enough, Toji. Go to sleep.” You pulled away, swallowing the bitter taste of weakness in your voice.

He hummed, unaware of the pain he had put you through. “The more I look at you, the more I realize how much I actually don’t want to spend my whole life with you,” he admitted, with little to no regard for your current feelings, “I can’t fill this emptiness by being with another empty soul. And if there’s one thing I’m most grateful for, it’s that I let you run away that day before I fulfilled my vows with you—”

“Enough!” You shot up from bed and wiped the flood of tears on your eyes. “Enough! I’ve heard everything you wanted me to hear, okay?! Enough!” you raised your voice in despair, almost begging for him to stop tearing your heart asunder. “I get it! I fucking get it… so enough. Please, Toji.”

Drunken words are sober thoughts.

A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

Alcohol is a truth serum.

The revelation of Toji’s true feelings that night was a reminder to you that he was just like any other man. That you should have never put him in such a high regard, thinking that he would be the prince charming that would save the poor damsel in distress. Why? What would he benefit from someone like you? You only deluded yourself into thinking that a man like him would take a single mother so seriously. You were only meant to be a placeholder for his dead wife after all.

A placeholder, certainly. Not even deserving to have the title of a wife.

——

There was a huge contrast between being with you and Sachiro in New York vs being with Akemi and Sachiro in Osaka. The difference? There was no awkward air between Akemi and him. They were free to do things as they will—no restrictions, no certain do’s and don’ts. They were happy to have each other’s company, minus the guilt nor the unease of being by each other’s side. If anything, Satoru bitterly assumed that you were having the time of your life in Miami with Toji. You were so keen to see the man back there before parting ways with your ex-husband and son like you were simply discarding them to the side.

If so be it, then fine. Satoru had all the right to have his son all to himself while you were gone. Besides, Akemi was just one call away and she was everything he could ever ask for. She cared for Sachiro as if she was his own mother and Satoru couldn’t be more grateful that he didn’t need to work on building a bond between her and his son.

In fact, Akemi very much knew how to win Sachiro’s heart. As they took his adorable son to Universal Studios that day, she was nothing short of a caring mother. She had acted as a guardian to his son throughout the rides, letting the toddler enjoy his time at all the wonderful attractions that the theme park had to offer. Not once did his son cry too, so that only meant that they were doing a great job at taking care of him.

Of course, it was a different story in the afternoon. After having spent all of his energy during the day, Sachiro had become tired and hungry by dinner time. But he wasn’t such a difficult kid to tend to, so Satoru was proud that his son still wasn’t throwing a tantrum even after a whole day of not having you around.

“We’re gonna get Sachi fried chicken,” he enticed the pouting toddler, kissing his forehead while Akemi carried him in her arms. “Is that what you want?”

Sachiro nodded and wrapped his little arms around his auntie’s neck. “Chicken, dada.”

Akemi smiled at the child’s gesture, tempting her to also place a kiss on his cheek. “You’re so cute and well-behaved, Sachi.”

“—Satoru?”

At the familiar voice, all three of them turned to the woman standing behind like a deer caught in the headlines. She was tall for a woman, slender, and had long, auburn hair, rosy cheeks, and ivory skin. Next to her was a tattooed man with salmon pink hair, a piercing on his ear, and a very defensive stance. Ah… How timely.

Sera and Sukuna.

Satoru wasn’t sure if he should openly greet them, after all, they weren’t acquaintances. And it was only recent that he got his memories back, triggered by Sera's presence at the expo. Other than that, he had no business with the two of them. Sukuna wasn’t a business partner of his, so him and Satoru had no formal connection towards each other. As for Sera, she might be his ex-girlfriend, but they didn’t exactly have the healthiest relationship to begin with, so…

“Of all the places,” she mumbled, almost gaping at the sight of him. Her eyes then trailed off to Akemi and Sachiro, with which her expressions shifted to guilt. Did she recognize his son? Did she remember the horrible attempt she did to harm his child during his ex-wife’s pregnancy? The memory was flooding Satoru’s brain like a tsunami. Yeah, in that case, Sera should definitely be filled with guilt. She tried to kill this harmless child.

He cleared his throat, now becoming protective over his son at the presence of his ex. “We gotta go—”

“I guess it’s true,” Sera spoke again, this time redirecting her attention to Akemi. “The rumors, I mean. It’s all just surprising to me considering how obsessive Satoru was to Y/N.” She paused, seemingly wanting to comment at her ex-boyfriend’s current relationship in a mocking way. She kept her eyes on Akemi only, while Satoru was left wondering why Sera was acting hostile towards her. What was her deal now? She wasn't in the position to be acting all entitled to Gojou anymore, but here she was, talking to Akemi like she had met her before. “Did you know? He sacrificed everything for her. No one else made him beg on his knees the same way Y/N did.”

He couldn’t even tell how Akemi felt while Sera was clearly taunting her with her words, but she still managed to smile and excuse herself, keeping Sachiro away from an environment that should only be between adults. It was ridiculous, surely. What was Sera thinking trying to subject his son around that kind of hostility? Balling his fists, Satoru turned to Sukuna and spoke to him man-to-man. “You’d better keep your woman entertained so she’ll stop meddling into other people’s business.”

Sukuna, however, found the situation equally humorous. “Don’t worry. We both are entertained.”

Making a spectacle of Satoru’s personal life? No wonder they ended up together. They were both pieces of shit.

Before Satoru turned on his heels to follow Akemi, Sera still had one last thing to say to him. This time, she was more calm and less malicious—her eyes following Akemi’s trail before looking back at him, “Satoru, if you have truly grown as a man, you won’t do this to Y/N.”

——

Sachiro was fast asleep when they returned to the Gojou clan's vacation home.

Meanwhile, since the night was young for the two adults in that house, Akemi and Satoru shared a passionate session in the living room downstairs, letting her ride him as he placed soft kisses on her collarbone. They tried to keep quiet, obviously, and all the lights were turned off, leaving only the moonlight illuminating their view. After a few more minutes into their lovemaking, they eventually met their climax and tried to catch each other’s breath, embracing her in his arms as she fell limp against him.

“Satoru, I missed you a lot while you were gone.”

“...Same.”

Silence engulfed them for some time until she let out an exasperated sigh. It was clear in her facial expressions alone that she was pondering about the whole scene with Sera earlier. “That girl earlier, Sera, she—”

“Don’t mind her.” Gojou closed his eyes and leaned his head against the backrest. He knew he had to clear things up straightforwardly, leaving no room for any misunderstandings. “She just loves riling people up. It’s ironic she’s coming at Y/N’s defense now like she didn’t torment her back then. She’s not worth paying attention to.”

“Okay.” Akemi pulled away, cupping his face and stroking his cheek. She also offered him an angelic smile while doing so. “But you don’t feel that way anymore, right? For Y/N?”

Satoru took a deep breath, but steadied the movements of his chest. He felt defensive all of a sudden. “No.”

Her smile grew more relaxed as she pressed a light peck on his lips. “Right.” And for a while, they both stayed silent. His thoughts ran straight to you, while hers was quite on a different route. “Earlier when I put Sachiro to bed, he called me his mama.”

His eyes widened. “Oh… he did?”

She answered with a nod. “I don’t know if he’s just half asleep calling for his real mommy, but… At that moment, it made me realize how much I want to have my own,” she hinted at him, wistfully staring at his blue eyes with her shining ones, “with you.”

——

You didn’t take the flight back to Tokyo.

What you took was an immediate flight straight to Osaka where you knew your son and your ex-husband would be. You weren’t sure if it was due to the height of your emotions, but you surely let your impulse win the best of you this time.

You just wanted to escape. It was for the first time in your life where you were dying to set yourself free from Toji’s presence, the very same person who you once likened to a buoy in an open sea. Now he was no longer that. He was far from that. He was an anchor pulling you down at the deepest part of the ocean. Needless to say, the pain was still fresh from your heart when you took the earliest flight back home after his drunken confession to you.

Despite the many missed calls and texts and emails he had sent you, none of them were returned. None of them were seen, or read, or had been replied to.

All you wanted to do was get to your son. Your son. Your only comfort from all the painful things that the world has thrown at you. If not for Sachiro, you would have long ended yourself. But because he was born in this world, because he relied on his mother for love and guidance, you had to be strong and you had to seek the comfort in your heart from him.

They could all turn their backs on you, but never will your son do.

And so, after a few back-and-forth emails with Miwa to confirm the address of Satoru’s residence in Osaka, you ignored the jetlag that was hitting your body and traveled straight to his place without a wink of decent sleep. Sachiro. Sachiro was all you ever thought of when you asked your driver to drop you off the park nearby the Gojou clan's residence as soon as you spotted your son's mop of white hair, him running across the small bridge and pointing towards a fish in the pond. Your son was happily calling all the fishes, gushing about them to Satoru who stood next to him.

You didn’t even care at how you looked during that moment. You just wanted to get to your son and embrace him in your arms. He had been away from you for way too long and you had already grown pale and sick from the separation anxiety that engulfed your heart and mind.

You had to have your son. You had to hold him.

“Sachi!” you called out, a smile present on your face as you made your desperate way towards the bridge. Your son looked at you the moment he had heard your voice, and was already skipping towards you with a bright smile on his face. “My baby!”

Satoru’s face, on the other hand, turned pallid. His eyes were full of surprise, unable to believe that you were actually right in front of him. It was like he had seen a ghost. No, worse than a ghost. Why? Did he not expect you to come when he had let Miwa send the address to you? Were you not welcome to visit your own son?

“Mamaaa!” Sachiro hugged you tightly, allowing you to attack his cute face with kisses all over.

“Mommy missed you so much, my baby.” You could almost cry. As young as he was, he had no idea how much comfort he was bringing into your heart. Just to be able to see him, hold him, kiss him was enough for you to feel complete again. It was at your brokenness did you realize how much Sachiro could fix you whole.

“Y/N, I thought you…” Satoru paused, confusion seemed to be settling on his features as you looked up at him. “You’re supposed to be back by Monday.”

For a moment, you were reminded of the reason you came home earlier than intended and it stung your heart to think about. “Change of plans.”

A small scoff left his lips. “Don’t tell me you left Toji back there.”

I did, you wanted to say. Satoru had no single idea how true his words were, but that was none of his business and you had no plans of confiding in him about what had happened. You may be angry with Toji now, but you still respected him enough not to do terrible things behind his back.

“I had to see my son,” you lied, although it wasn’t exactly one, and got up while holding your toddler’s hand. “Are you ready to go home with mommy, Sachi?”

Reluctance clouded your son’s face, and he became more resolute at shaking his head the moment a woman’s voice called for him from afar. A woman, a very, painfully familiar woman came into view a few meters away from you. Standing there was your best friend, Akemi Hirai, looking at you with wide, mortified eyes as soon as she saw your presence.

And in a snap, Sachiro ran to her. Your son ran straight to her, joyfully and excitedly as if she was his real mother.

How many more heartbreaks do you have to go through?

How many more tears do you have to hold back?

“I…” Your hands were shaking. Your entire body was on the verge of breaking down. All this time, your son had been in this vacation home living like a happy little family with your ex-husband and best friend.

Now, he even refused to go home with you.

Gojou scanned through the look on your eyes as though he was reading your emotions, but you showed none of it. Not a single emotion could be seen on your face. Not an ounce of pain shown, despite seeing how your son immediately forgot about you and headed straight to another woman. How excited he was to spend more time with his dad and his new girlfriend. How, much to your discomfort, he refused to go back to Tokyo with you. You saw the future family Sachiro was about to have without you in the picture, and damn did it hit you like a truck.

Why, why did everyone in your life choose others before you?

“I’m sorry. I’ll bring him to your house Monday morning,” said your ex-husband in a soft, delicate voice, almost as if he was being careful with you. “We’ll take care of him.”

You could simply nod, avoiding eye-contact with anyone in the vicinity except for Satoru. “Okay...” you struggled with words. Your entire body was shaking. The last thing you wanted was to sound like a selfish mother, but frankly, you were about to self-destruct. “Just keep him happy… that's all I ask.”

Behind your mask of indifference, Satoru knew what right words had to be said. You needed reassurance, and that was exactly what he gave you. “I won’t ever take him away from you, Y/N. I promise.”

You watched them walk away, leaving you alone with a look of sympathy that you didn’t need. Sympathy that you despised having received. This should serve as a wake up call to you that no one in this world would ever love you. That even your own child would, one day, abandon you.

As tears fell from your eyes, you felt a certain pang on your chest that hurt worse than every other pain combined. “You know you’re not so good with promises, Satoru.”

#series: sincerely yours #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo angst #jjk angst #gojo satoru angst #gojou satoru x reader #gojou satoru x yn

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cazshmere · 2 months ago

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Destiny Matrix: The Energy You Must Embody for Genuine Happiness

materialist🔖

DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal observations and are meant for entertainment purposes only; it may not resonate with everyone due to the nuances of astrology. Please respect my work and avoid copying or stealing it. Enjoy reading!! 🦂

The center number in the Destiny Matrix chart represents our core energy—the Major Arcana card that has the most profound influence on your life. This number reflects the key lessons and dominant themes we must embrace to feel aligned with your destiny. It acts as our guiding force, shaping our experiences and guiding us toward fulfillment and balance

link to calculate your chart : click here

1 – The Magician 🪄

Key Themes: Manifestation, creativity, willpower

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Start a vision board to focus on your goals.

Practice daily affirmations to boost self-belief.

Learn a new skill or hobby to channel creativity.

Set small, actionable goals and track progress.

Use mindfulness to align actions with intentions.

2 – The High Priestess 🧚‍♀️

Key Themes: Intuition, inner wisdom, mystery

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Meditate daily to develop inner awareness.

Keep a dream journal to reflect on subconscious messages.

Trust your gut feelings, especially in decision-making.

Reduce distractions and spend time in quiet reflection.

Engage in mystical practices (tarot, astrology) to deepen insight.

3 – The Empress 👸🏽

Key Themes: Nurturing, creativity, abundance

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Create a peaceful, beautiful space at home.

Spend time in nature to feel grounded.

Cook or garden to nurture creativity and growth.

Support loved ones emotionally and offer care.

Indulge in self-care rituals to cultivate self-love.

4 – The Emperor 🤴🏽

Key Themes: Authority, structure, stability

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Set a clear routine or daily structure.

Take on leadership roles, even in small situations.

Establish long-term goals for your personal and professional life.

Lead with confidence but remain fair and balanced.

Be disciplined in areas like finances or personal development.

5 – The Hierophant 🪽

Key Themes: Tradition, spiritual guidance, teaching

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Explore cultural or spiritual traditions and integrate them into your life.

Mentor others and share knowledge where you're experienced.

Reflect on core values and how they guide your decisions.

Study spiritual texts or philosophies to deepen understanding.

Join a spiritual or community group to foster connection.

6 – The Lovers 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻

Key Themes: Connection, choice, harmony

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Strengthen communication in your relationships.

Make decisions that reflect your values and desires.

Foster deeper emotional and spiritual connections with loved ones.

Practice compromise and understanding in conflicts.

Focus on self-love as the foundation for harmonious relationships.

7 – The Chariot 🚀

Key Themes: Determination, control, success

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Set clear goals and take steady steps to achieve them.

Stay focused on your objectives despite distractions.

Practice emotional self-regulation in stressful situations.

Celebrate victories, no matter how small.

Take charge of your life path with confidence and direction.

8 – Strength 💪🏽

Key Themes: Inner strength, compassion, patience

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Practice self-compassion and be gentle with yourself in difficult times.

Engage in physical or emotional activities that build resilience, like exercise or meditation.

Offer kindness and understanding to others, even when it's challenging.

Be patient with long-term goals or emotional healing.

Cultivate a quiet inner strength by facing fears calmly.

9 - The Hermit 🐚

Key Themes: Solitude, inner reflection, wisdom

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Take time away from social media and external influences to reflect.

Spend time alone in nature or a quiet space to recharge.

Journal regularly to explore your inner world.

Read books or engage in study to deepen self-awareness.

Offer wisdom to others from a place of experience.

10 – The Wheel of Fortune 🍀

Key Themes: Change, destiny, cycles

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Be flexible and open to unexpected changes in life.

Reflect on the cycles of your past to understand patterns.

Trust in the flow of life, knowing that ups and downs are part of growth.

Release the need for control and go with the flow.

Embrace new opportunities, even if they come unexpectedly.

11 – Justice ⚖️

Key Themes: Fairness, truth, balance

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Be mindful of making fair and just decisions.

Take responsibility for your actions and decisions.

Seek balance in all areas of life—work, relationships, health.

Practice fairness in your interactions with others.

Be truthful with yourself and others in difficult situations.

12 – The Hanged Man 🙃

Key Themes: Surrender, new perspective, patience

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Let go of control and allow things to unfold in their own time.

Reflect on challenging situations from a new perspective.

Embrace stillness and patience during times of uncertainty.

Be open to changing your approach if things aren't working.

Trust that waiting or setbacks often lead to growth.

13 – Death 🦋

Key Themes: Transformation, endings, renewal

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Let go of old habits, relationships, or situations that no longer serve you.

View endings as opportunities for new beginnings.

Embrace change and transformation, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Focus on personal growth during times of transition.

Practice gratitude for past experiences, even as you move forward.

14 – Temperance 🕊️

Key Themes: Balance, harmony, moderation

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Practice moderation in areas of excess, such as work or indulgence.

Focus on finding balance between different areas of your life.

Meditate or engage in mindfulness practices to foster inner harmony.

Be patient with yourself and others, especially during conflicts.

Seek holistic well-being by integrating mind, body, and spirit.

15 – The Devil 👺

Key Themes: Desire, limitation, mastery

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Acknowledge your desires and examine whether they serve your higher self.

Confront limiting beliefs or unhealthy habits that hold you back.

Practice discipline in areas where you feel tempted or out of control.

Seek balance between enjoying life’s pleasures and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Embrace your shadow side without judgment, using it for personal growth.

16 – The Tower 🗼⚡️

Key Themes: Sudden change, upheaval, revelation

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Accept that sudden changes may be necessary for personal growth.

Let go of outdated beliefs or structures that no longer serve you.

Use challenging situations as opportunities for deep transformation.

Rebuild stronger foundations after a period of upheaval.

Trust that chaos often clears the way for new opportunities.

17 – The Star ⭐️

Key Themes: Hope, inspiration, healing

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Focus on healing emotional wounds and nurturing your inner light.

Cultivate hope and positivity in difficult times.

Align with your higher purpose and trust the universe’s guidance.

Inspire others by staying true to your authentic self.

Practice self-care and healing routines that nourish your body and soul.

18 – The Moon 🌙

Key Themes: Intuition, illusion, subconscious

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Explore your subconscious through dreams, journaling, or meditation.

Be mindful of illusions or false perceptions in your life.

Trust your intuition, especially when clarity is lacking.

Embrace uncertainty and mystery without fear.

Seek emotional clarity through inner reflection.

19 – The Sun ☀️

Key Themes: Joy, vitality, positivity

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Celebrate your successes and share your joy with others.

Embrace childlike wonder and enthusiasm in your daily life.

Focus on positive thinking, even in difficult times.

Connect with nature or physical activities to boost your vitality.

Shine your light on others, offering support and positivity.

20 – Judgement 📜

Key Themes: Rebirth, accountability, higher calling

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Reflect on your past actions and learn from them.

Take responsibility for your choices and their consequences.

Seek out your higher calling and align your life with it.

Focus on personal and spiritual rebirth through self-awareness.

Make amends or seek closure where necessary to move forward.

21 – The World 🌍

Key Themes: Completion, wholeness, fulfilment

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Celebrate the completion of major life milestones.

Recognize your personal growth and sense of wholeness.

Integrate lessons from all areas of life into your being.

Embrace your interconnectedness with the world around you.

Seek new opportunities for growth and expansion, even after reaching your goals.

22 – The Fool 🤪

Key Themes: New beginnings, trust, adventure

Ways to Embody This Energy:

Take risks and embrace new opportunities with optimism.

Trust the universe to guide you, even when the path is unclear.

Live in the present moment and enjoy life’s adventures.

Be open to unexpected experiences and possibilities.

Follow your instincts, even if it means stepping into the unknown.

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botanicalsword · 3 months ago

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Indicator for Entrepreneurs

In today’s landscape, personal branding, self-promotion, and networking have become significantly more accessible, thanks to the metaverse.

We find ourselves interconnected in myriad ways; however, this connectivity often leads to a self-centered focus, where the aspiration to become influencers and promote our own products and services takes precedence.

Yet, we must not overlook the essence that establishing a successful business requires strong networks (11th House). This means delivering real value to those who engage with our services while simultaneously addressing their emotional, physical, and practical needs and desires.

Businesses are constantly seeking new ways to engage with their audience.

Some examples of digital business that related to the astrological placements:

Impressions (Venus, 1st House, Chart ruler)

Engagement (7th House, 11th House, Mercury)

Content creating (Mercury, 3rd House, 9th House)

Storytelling (Mercury, 3rd House, 4th House, 5th House, Neptune, Uranus)

Digital marketing strategy (Uranus, Jupiter, 9th House, 11th House)

Metrics eg. engagement, click-through rates, conversion (Saturn, 2nd House, 10th House)

Cultivating an entrepreneurial mindset is important for navigating this journey. To thrive as an entrepreneur, one must be decisive and possess a holistic perspective. Without an open mind and a sharp, analytical approach, it becomes increasingly challenging to realize their vision and achieve lasting success.

✧

Certain astrological houses play a pivotal role:

1st house - the self and self-awareness - with prominent placement, they often resist being controlled by others, thriving instead on independence.

8th house - resources and financing - the ability to leverage others' resources or collaborate in business endeavors.

10th house - career aspirations and the broader vision necessary for success. Entrepreneurs must possess a grand perspective to navigate their ventures effectively.

✧ Some key astrological indicators for aspiring entrepreneurs:

Strong10th House (Sun/ Moon in 10th House / 10th House Stellium) - strong drive for success and a deep desire to achieve - find entrepreneurship more appealing than traditional employment

10th House ruler in 1st House - a powerful ambition - Those with influential planets in their chart often strive for independence in their careers, leading to a respected and prestigious professional life - Leadership roles may also suit you well

1st House ruler in 10th House - highly ambitious, with dreams of fame and success. Your ideas or decision may frequently revolve around becoming a business owner and achieving personal recognition.

Saturn in the 1st House - face challenges in life but possess a strong sense of responsibility. Through relentless effort and determination, they strive to prove their worth to the world. With their unwavering willpower and diligent work ethic, achieving success is almost inevitable.

Strong 8th House (Sun, Moon, Venus, Jupiter / 8th House Stellium) - an ability to access resources easily - excel in securing funding and attracting investments, which can significantly enhance their chances of entrepreneurial success.

Strong 11th House / 11th House Stelium - strong social connections and a supportive network - with good relationships and abundant resources, you’ll find that others are eager to assist you in your endeavors. >> Career • what kind of content creator are you?

✧

>> Career • work a job or start a business? ✧ Natal Chart Observation >> Career • A Sudden Change - What Happens Next? ✧ Solar Return / Lunar Return >> Career • Indicators for your potential and talents (Part 1) >> Career • Indicators for your potential and talents (Part 2)

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

Exclusive access : Patreon

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obsidian-pages777 · 5 months ago

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Pick a Card: For Introverts. Pick an Affirmation

Left to Right= Pile 1-> Pile 3 [Bonus: Sailor Moon Gifs]

Introduction

This reading is dedicated to all the introverts out there. In this loud world here, this reading gives you some encouraging messages as to how to appreciate your quiet persona. Remember that with your introversion there is much strength that could be observed and used for an improved life. This reading is for anyone who has either chosen the introverted lifestyle for the time being or for anyone who has naturally always been that way.

P.s : Check in if you are an INFJ/ INFP/INTP/ INTJ/ ISFJ/ ISTJ/ ISFP/ISTP

================================================================================================

Pile 1

The Ace of Cups card that you received symbolizes in here the abundance, nurturing, and connection with nature. As an introvert, you have a rich inner world that attracts love and promotes good health. Your calm and nurturing nature draws people to you, creating meaningful connections that are essential for your well-being.

Secondly, you have also received the Two of Cups. This represents deep connections and meaningful relationships. Your introverted nature allows you to cultivate profound and genuine relationships. When you maintain necessary connections, you create a fertile ground for love to blossom and for your emotional health to flourish.

Furthermore, the Star Card signifies hope, inspiration, and a sense of peace. Your ability to find tranquility within yourself makes you a beacon of calmness for others. This inner peace contributes significantly to your overall health and well-being, as well as to those around you.

Reasons to Love yourself more: You are someone who exudes a serene and calming presence. Your ability to listen deeply and connect on a soulful level makes you incredibly attractive. Your nurturing spirit and gentle demeanor make others feel safe and valued in your company.

================================================================================================

Pile 2

Having received the High priestess card it represents intuition, mystery, and inner knowledge. Your introverted nature allows you to tap into your subconscious and draw inspiration from within. You have a deep well of creativity that is waiting to be explored.

Additionally the Hermit card that showed up symbolizes introspection and solitude. Embracing your introverted side gives you the space to develop your artistic talents. Solitude is your creative sanctuary where your imagination can flourish and your unique artistic voice can emerge.

You got the Page of Cups and this card signifies creativity, intuition, and new beginnings. Your introverted nature nurtures your artistic side, leading to bursts of creative inspiration and innovative ideas. Engaging with your artistic endeavors will bring joy and fulfillment.

Reasons to Love yourself more: You possess a quiet allure and an enigmatic presence that draws people in. Your introspective nature and thoughtful demeanor make you captivating. Your artistic expression and unique perspective add depth and richness to your beauty.

================================================================================================

Pile 3

You have got the Magician card. This card represents skill, resourcefulness, and the power to manifest your goals. Your introverted nature allows you to focus deeply on your projects. You have all the tools you need to succeed in your educational or career endeavors.

There is further the Eight of Pentacles. This card symbolizes dedication, hard work, and mastery. Your ability to concentrate and work diligently on your goals sets you apart. Your introversion helps you to hone your skills and develop expertise in your chosen field.

The Chariot Card that has been drawn signifies determination, willpower, and success. Your introverted nature helps you stay focused and driven. You are on the path to achieving great things, and your ability to concentrate and persevere will lead you to success in your career or educational pursuits.

Reasons to Love yourself more: You have a determined and focused aura that is incredibly compelling. Your dedication and drive are evident in everything you do, making you an inspiring figure to those around you. Your inner strength and resilience enhance your overall beauty and presence.

================================================================================================

#tarot reading #tarot #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a pile #love yourself #introvert #tarotblr #mbti #infj #infp #intj #intp #isfj #istj #istp #isfp

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rosieofcorona · 1 year ago

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A Light To Break All Shadows

Just a fluffy little Halsin x Tav fic to keep the darkness at bay. Also on AO3, if you prefer. Thank you for reading! 💕

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?”

Tav is eyeing Halsin suspiciously from the opposite end of Art’s bedside, where he’s been keeping watch over the sick man for days. At least, Halsin thinks it’s been days– perhaps three (or maybe four?) at the most. It is difficult to keep track in the Shadowlands.

At any rate, he cannot answer her immediately, which means his answer is insufficient.

“If you have to think about it,” Tav continues, “It’s been too long.”

She has a point.

He is exhausted, as they all are, but cannot bring himself to rest. They are so close– he is so close– to finding the child that will save them, to ending the hundred-year darkness, to restoring light and balance to the land.

And Art Cullagh, ill as he is, is the key that will unlock their victory, so Halsin feels as though he must protect him every moment, must stay by his side in case he should wake, or take a turn.

For days, he has persisted, spurred on by his stamina and willpower. For days, he has waited and watched. Now the idea of sleep falls on him like a spell.

“It is my duty.” He protests. “I will see this through.” “You will,” she agrees, “When you wake. These people will need you in the days to come. And they will need you to be rested.”

She is playing to his sense of responsibility, he knows, but he is too tired to argue. Reluctantly, he nods his agreement.

When he rises from his chair, it seems that all his centuries of existence catch up to him at once, his joints and muscles burning. He feels old and sore and weary as he drags himself toward an empty bed.

“Go on,” Tav commands gently. She feels like a mother nudging a child off to sleep. “Even the greatest leaders need rest.”

“Then you ought to rest yourself.”

She laughs at that, though Halsin means it. He knows so few who are so capable, so resilient, so kind. She has already accomplished so many things that he could not, not in hundreds of years of practice.

“You flatter me,” Tav smiles, but Halsin shakes his head.

“You are extraordinary.”

His gaze is on her when he says it, on her eyes and mouth and hands, the way her armor cleaves to her, the way her weapon rests against her hip. In another place, another time, another life, he would have had her already, would have known her inside and out if she asked him to.

And she had asked him to, once, before they came here. He remembers. At the time he had denied her as gently as he could, in the knowledge that what was growing between them, if cultivated, could later prove a distraction, a weakness.

But gods, he had wanted her then. He wants her still.

Yet such urges, much like sleep, must be suppressed. At least for now.

Tav stares back at him with wide eyes until she feels a flush come over her cheeks. She turns her face away, just slightly, so that Halsin will not see.

“Well.” She clears her throat, and redirects. “I’ll rest before we go scouting tomorrow. And I’ll watch Art while you sleep.”

“As you say.”

**********

In his dreams, he is back in the Shadowfell, that sunless, cursed place.

At his feet are bodies, Harper and druid and shade alike. He knows their faces, their names, their stories. Here is Atlan, a boy from his own grove, no more than eighteen years of age. Halsin had cured him once of pox, had later mentored him in the healing arts.

And here, Jehan the Harper, who had just received word that his wife was expecting. Twins, he’d announced, over a round of drinks at Last Light.

And Moranna, the Selunite priestess who had blessed them again and again on their journey, had prayed over them and shielded them to the best of her ability.

All lost to the shadows, corrupted beyond recognition. All dead, cut down by his hand.

Halsin does his best to avoid stepping on them as he presses onward, each step a battle of its own. The weight of darkness seems to crush him, seems to drain the very life out of his body.

His god is nowhere here.

There comes a voice through the black night, distant, disembodied. Halsin, the shadows whisper, and whisper again, closer. Halsin.

Wildly he turns and swings his glaive, hitting nothing, the panic rising in his throat, and–

“Halsin!” Tav exclaims, blocking a swing of his fist with her forearm.

She is sitting at the edge of his bed looking concerned, frightened even. His skin is slicked with sweat, his breathing heavy, his body tangled in the bed linens.

Immediately, a white-hot shame rushes over him, that he should be the one to cause her fear.

That he should strike at her, even unconsciously, his savior, his ally. His friend, though that is too weak a word for the feeling that grows within him, wraps around his heart like wild ivy.

“Forgive me,” he pants, “I was–”

I was lost in the darkness, he means to say, I was frightened and alone, but the words stick in his throat like flies in honey.

Yet Tav seems to know already, a tenderness softening the furrows of her brow. Not pity, he notes. Understanding.

She has seen equivalent horrors, has seen friends fall and foes flourish and still, and still, keeps fighting toward goodness, toward light. He aches with the thought that she might have such nightmares, that she might know firsthand how he feels now.

But she soothes him, reaches out to wipe the sweat from his brow, her touch as light and cool as an evening breeze.

“It’s alright,” she promises. “You don’t have to explain. You are safe here.”

Halsin lets out a breath he’s been holding for too long. It has been many years since he was last comforted, truly comforted. He is so accustomed to doing the comforting that he has almost forgotten what it feels like to be on the receiving end.

Tenderness is no stranger to him– many of his lovers have been gentle, have been sweet– but none have ever known his burdens, none have carried them, taken them on as their own. Here is one who has, who does, who will, if he will let her.

He takes Tav’s hand in his and guides it, flattens her palm over the rabbit-fast beat of his heart, breathing deeply, willing it to slow. He wants to say, Thank you, then, I love you, but it’s too soon, he thinks, too desperate, no matter how true.

“Thank you,” Halsin allows, and swallows the rest.

Tav smiles at him then, a soft, bright thing, like a single star in the night sky. The true last light in the Shadowlands.

“Shall I stay with you?”

“Art–,” Halsin starts, but she shakes her head calmly, knowingly. “He’s sleeping soundly. Seems his bad dreams have come to visit you.”

“I do not wish to burden you with something so trivial.”

“You could not burden me,” Tav says quietly. “But I will leave, if you prefer.”

Her thumb strokes over his chest, her hand still pressed against him. His pulse quickens again at so intimate, so innocent a touch. Halsin wonders if she can feel it.

“I prefer your presence, always. But you need your own rest.”

“Very well.”

Her palm slips from him as she rises to her feet, and he thinks for a moment that he’s made a mistake, has waved off her kindness, dismissed her.

Rather, she motions for him to move over and climbs slowly, wordlessly into the bed next to him. He finds himself lifting the sheets for her, inviting her in without hesitation.

She’s changed, he realizes as she comes close, her armor cast aside for the day. Her nightclothes make her look, make her feel smaller, softer. He wants so badly to slip his hands beneath the fabric, to see how soft she is beneath.

“Is this alright?” Tav whispers, looking earnestly into his eyes. Her fingertips flit over his cheek, brushing a lock of his hair behind his ear. “Are you alright?”

The bed is small and Halsin is not, and she is pressed against him like a flower between the pages of a book. He can only nod.

“I will rest here then, with you.”

In the gentlest act he can or will ever remember, she leans forward and kisses his eyes as if bestowing a blessing upon them, a ward against the darkness.

**********

Halsin wakes again in near-total silence, save the gentle inhale-exhale of Tav’s breathing beside him. He doesn’t know how much time has passed, and for the first time in a long time, doesn’t mind.

Instead, he is aware of how peaceful he feels in this moment, sheltered from the dangers beyond the inn, aware that at one point or another he had let go of his worry and settled deep into dreaming. The earlier tension in his muscles has melted into a tired ache, as if he is returning from a very long walk in the Grove.

And she is here, wrapped in his arms. A light to break all shadows.

He can’t be sure when it happened. The shift had been imperceptible, like the feeling of falling asleep, or falling in love.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #halsin #halsin x tav #my fic #halsin x reader #halsin x fem! tav #fluff #angst with a happy ending #hurt/comfort #but mostly just so soft #like it was a delight to write something so sweet #my writing #bg3 fanfiction #halsin romance #bg3 halsin #halsin fanfic

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likeadevils · 9 months ago

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omg she stopped writing right around the same time as when she cut her hair. girl didn't write again until 2016. "do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life" indeed

i’ve said this before but this journal entry

was three days before she started writing gorgeous.

and i think on one level it’s easy to ascribe that to joe, and i don’t want to minimize his role in her life just because it’s over. but i think the part of it that speaks to me the most is the insane level of willpower from taylor— to stare down everything that that summer did to her, and choose hope. to take the insane expectations that came with 1989, the new pressure to make a dark, introspective album about dark, soul crushing loss… and write a silly song about being drunk and thinking a guy is cute. that creation was for her, that creation was taylor hanging on to little scraps of joy until she could cultivate it again. and that’s the part of the story that’s transcendant

#asks*

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bitchy-craft · 1 year ago

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What People Admire About You | Pick A Pile

Hello and welcome to this Pick A Pile! In here you'll find out what people admire about you. I hope you guys enjoy and find this useful. Do make sure to leave comments down below on your experience! I do want to remind you all that this is a General Pick A Pile which means this is for a lot of people; therefore keep what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Masterlist > Questions

Pick A Pile!

Pile 1:

In this pile, it becomes evident that people admire your intelligence, wisdom, and problem-solving skills. They recognize the depth of your knowledge and your ability to think critically. Your analytical approach and insightful perspective make you a valuable resource for others. People appreciate your ability to offer sound advice and guidance, especially in difficult situations. Your mental agility and sharp intellect set you apart and make you an admirable figure.

You possess an intuitive nature that allows you to tap into deep wisdom. Your insights are valued, and others recognize your perceptive qualities. Your inclination towards introspection and reflection is admired, as it enables you to find answers within yourself and share your wisdom with those around you. Your clarity of thought and ability to cut through confusion are highly regarded. Your balanced emotional intelligence is respected, as you handle emotions with grace and compassion.

Pile 2:

This pile reveals that people admire your kindness, compassion, and empathetic nature. They see you as a source of comfort and support in their lives. Your ability to understand and connect with others on an emotional level is highly valued. People appreciate your genuine willingness to listen without judgment and provide a safe space for them to express themselves. Your warm and nurturing presence makes you an admirable individual.

Your nurturing and caring nature is recognized and admired by others. They see how you create a supportive and loving environment for those around you. Your capacity to cultivate meaningful connections and foster harmonious relationships is highly regarded. People admire how you bring people together and create a sense of unity. Your genuine kindness and the emotional support you offer are deeply appreciated. Your ability to understand and validate the emotions of others without judgment is respected.

Pile 3:

This pile suggests that people admire your strength, resilience, and determination. They recognize your ability to overcome challenges and adversity with grace and perseverance. Your unwavering resolve and tenacity in pursuing your goals inspire and motivate others. People see you as a role model for resilience and courage.

Your strong willpower and the way you navigate through obstacles to achieve your objectives are admired. Your determination and focus are evident, and others respect your ability to stay on track. Your inner strength and ability to remain calm in the face of adversity are deeply admired. Your resilience and capacity to bounce back from difficult situations inspire those around you. Your empathy and willingness to support others during tough times are highly regarded. Your compassion and generosity are seen as remarkable traits. Your fiery passion and self-confidence leave a lasting impact on others, who recognize your leadership qualities and ability to take charge.

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kleopatra45 · 4 months ago

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Jaimini Karakas in Astrology

✨ Atma Karaka (Soul Significator): The Atma Karaka is the planet with the highest degrees in your natal chart, representing your soul's essence and primary mission in this lifetime. It signifies the core lessons and experiences your soul seeks to master. The Atma Karaka's placement by sign, house, and aspect will illuminate the deepest desires and spiritual challenges you face. It reveals the path you need to walk to achieve true fulfillment and self-realization, acting as a beacon guiding you toward your higher purpose.

✨ Amatya Karaka (Career Significator): The Amatya Karaka is the planet with the second-highest degrees, symbolizing your career and how you express your talents in the world. This Karaka shows how you achieve success and the areas where you can excel professionally. It also represents your relationship with mentors, colleagues, and those who support your ambitions. By understanding your Amatya Karaka, you can gain insights into the career path that aligns with your soul's purpose and how you can best serve the world through your work.

✨ Bhratri Karaka (Siblings & Courage Significator): The Bhratri Karaka, the planet with the third-highest degrees, governs your relationship with siblings, cousins, and close friends. It also reflects your courage, communication skills, and ability to navigate challenges. This Karaka sheds light on the support system you have within your immediate environment and how you interact with those who are like brothers and sisters to you. It also speaks to your mental fortitude and how you face life's adversities, indicating the strength of your willpower and determination.

✨ Matr Karaka (Mother & Nurturing Significator): The Matr Karaka, determined by the planet with the fourth-highest degrees, represents your mother, maternal figures, and your emotional foundation. This Karaka delves into your early nurturing environment and how it shaped your emotional security and capacity to care for others. It also provides insights into your relationship with your home, your sense of belonging, and how you create a safe and nurturing space for yourself and those you love. Understanding your Matr Karaka can reveal how you seek comfort and the role of the motherly influence in your life.

✨ Putra Karaka (Children & Creativity Significator): The Putra Karaka, the planet with the fifth-highest degrees, relates to your children, creativity, and the way you express joy and love. It reflects your relationship with your offspring, whether biological or creative (such as artistic projects, business ventures, or anything you birth into the world). This Karaka also highlights your capacity for playfulness, passion, and how you channel your creative energies. It indicates how you nurture and guide the younger or more vulnerable aspects of your life, bringing forth your legacy.

✨ Gnati Karaka (Obstacles & Enemies Significator): The Gnati Karaka, the planet with the sixth-highest degrees, signifies the areas of life where you encounter obstacles, diseases, and challenges. It reveals the nature of your struggles, including hidden enemies or health issues, and how they manifest in your life. This Karaka also points to the areas where you need to develop resilience and the lessons that come from overcoming adversity. By understanding your Gnati Karaka, you can better prepare for the difficulties you may face and find ways to transform challenges into opportunities for growth.

✨ Dara Karaka (Spouse & Relationship Significator): The Dara Karaka, determined by the planet with the lowest degrees, represents your spouse, marriage, and long-term relationships. It reflects your approach to partnerships and what you seek in a significant other. This Karaka provides insight into the dynamics of your intimate relationships, including the qualities you are drawn to and the challenges you may encounter in love. Understanding your Dara Karaka can help you cultivate deeper, more fulfilling connections and navigate the complexities of commitment and shared life paths.

Note: Rahu/ North Node and Ketu/South Node cannot be classified as jaimini karakas along with generational planets i.e. Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.

©️kleopatra45

#astrology #astrology community #astroblr #astro notes #astrology observations #houses in astrology #astrology readings #astrology tumblr #astro community #vedic astrology observations #vedic astro notes #vedic astrology #vedic chart #vedic astro observations

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sensualnoiree · 4 months ago

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astro notes: the sextile

The separating sextile marks a period of stability and growth following the conjunction. This phase is characterized by a state of balance that sharpens cautiousness and heightens awareness, requiring active participation. It represents an opportunity for building and refining structures, as the initial energy set in motion begins to take form. This proactive period allows for review and adjustments, ensuring the long-term success of the endeavor. Clarity is achieved, revealing what works and what needs change. By fine-tuning the process during this time, future challenges can be mitigated, maintaining a positive trajectory.

A Few Examples: Mars Sextile Mercury

The Mars-Mercury sextile creates a harmonious relationship between action and intellect. This aspect enhances your ability to think quickly and communicate assertively, making it an ideal time for activities that require both mental sharpness and decisive action. You’re likely to be more persuasive and able to express your ideas confidently without coming across as overly aggressive. This aspect encourages strategic planning and the effective execution of ideas, blending Mars’ initiative with Mercury’s communication skills to achieve productive outcomes.

Mercury Sextile Venus

A Mercury-Venus sextile brings a gentle, harmonious flow between intellect and aesthetics. This aspect supports pleasant and effective communication, making it an excellent time for social interactions, negotiations, and artistic endeavors. Conversations are likely to be more diplomatic, charming, and focused on finding common ground. It's a favorable period for creative writing, art, and expressing affection through words or gestures. The energy here is supportive of cultivating relationships and refining your communication style with grace and tact.

Mars Sextile Jupiter

The Mars-Jupiter sextile combines assertiveness with optimism, creating a period of positive, enthusiastic action. This aspect encourages you to take on new challenges and pursue goals with confidence and a sense of adventure. There’s a strong drive for growth, both personally and professionally, with opportunities for expansion coming your way. This is a good time to start new projects or take calculated risks, as the supportive nature of the sextile ensures that your efforts are met with success and favorable outcomes. The energy is motivational and expansive, helping you push boundaries without overstepping them.

Moon Sextile Saturn

The Moon-Saturn sextile creates a balanced flow between emotions and discipline. This aspect encourages emotional stability, helping you approach feelings and instincts with a sense of responsibility and maturity. It’s an excellent time for setting emotional boundaries, building emotional resilience, and dealing with personal matters in a practical, grounded way. This aspect also supports long-term planning and commitment in personal relationships, allowing you to build lasting emotional structures. You may find it easier to be patient and realistic about your emotional needs and those of others.

Jupiter Sextile Mercury

A Jupiter-Mercury sextile fosters a harmonious connection between expansive thinking and communication. This aspect is excellent for intellectual pursuits, teaching, learning, and sharing ideas with others. It encourages broad-mindedness, optimism, and a positive outlook on communication. You may find it easier to grasp complex concepts, think philosophically, or engage in meaningful discussions. This is also a favorable time for travel, writing, and publishing, as the energy supports the exchange of knowledge and cultural experiences. The sextile brings a sense of ease to expanding your intellectual horizons.

Sun Sextile Mars

The Sun-Mars sextile energizes your sense of identity and personal willpower, creating a period of constructive action and self-expression. This aspect enhances confidence, motivation, and the ability to take initiative in a balanced way. It’s a great time for pursuing personal goals, asserting yourself in a healthy manner, and channeling your energy into productive activities. The supportive nature of the sextile ensures that your actions are well-received and that you can achieve your objectives without unnecessary conflict. This aspect brings vitality and drive, helping you move forward with a clear sense of purpose and direction.

follow for more astro insights like this and head on over to @quenysefields or etsy sensualnoiree to book a session with me :)

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candiid-caniine · 1 year ago

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dumb dog's guide to self-denial

this was by far the most popular option in my last poll so here goes! full disclosure, i am a drooling idiot so i can't promise i won't miss some things. i can promise, however, that 1) i will do my best!! dogs are v enthusiastic!! and 2) there will be no bioessentialist kink of any kind within this post. adding to it with such things will get you blocked. if you're looking for that, go the hell elsewhere :)

disclaimer: i cannot give you advice that will "simply work" because nobody can. your body, your effort, and your time are all variables which I cannot account for with any certainty, so this is meant to get you started with finding your ideals when it comes to orgasm denial. it's not about learning to edge as much as me/for as long as me/as hard as me/whatever - everyone is different!

my approach to this is basically...building a dom/owner/whatever you'd like to call your ideal "denial partner" in your head. if you're single, either by choice or by chance, or you have a partner/s who isn't interested in being involved w/ your denial, this basically means being your own owner! so how does one do that? and how is that supposed to help with denial? you may be asking.

well, denial is about self-control, at least at the beginning. if you're new to this, that's probably what you're struggling with! your body loves orgasms, and it's used to getting release when it's stimulated. you start off a session wanting to edge, intending not to cum, but...you just can't; your body pushes you too far. when you've cultivated self-control, at some point your body starts to accept that edging also feels good, but until that point, it's all willpower.

only, part of being a submissive is wanting to surrender your willpower. so my solution to that was always playing both sub and dom, sort of at once, and to make a habit of it, so that even when you're in subspace it's not too far beyond you. how does that work if you're not a switch? you may be asking.

well...when you touch yourself, you probably fantasize, right? or you watch porn, or read erotica, etc. you may not be a switch, or have any urge to dom, but odds are you have an idea of how you'd like to be talked to. so start there.

want to be praised and trained like a beloved pet? when your body starts to get more excited, talk to yourself, and yes, it always feels stupid at first. "good boys don't cum without permission, isn't that right?" "so close to the edge, aren't you? now stop. stop right now. good girl." "be a good puppy and leave those puppy parts alone, calm down for me. good pet." whisper it if you have to, but do say it aloud. repeating it in your head isn't going to be enough at the start. eventually, maybe, but not yet. or do you want to be degraded and talked down to? tell yourself you don't deserve to cum, you're a pathetic toy, you're such a loser for obeying. then obey. in essence, emulate the dom that's in your fantasies. this is step 1. let your inner dom set some arbitrary, easy limits: just one more edge, then you can cum. or five more minutes, then you can cum. don't take away the goal of cumming just yet. and i do mean easy.

what if you don't have concrete fantasies/are imagining more sex acts than actual dirty talk? then get some! set aside 20-30 minutes before your edging attempt and get to dirty daydreaming! visualize the way you like being talked to, then enact it to, for, and by yourself. note the time to start this is before you've ever touched, if it's not already natural to you.

step 2: get comfortable with it. work a little of your "inner dom" into other aspects of your life; don't worry too much about the edging sessions, just get comfortable with this new persona or habit. when you finish a hard task, call yourself a good boy/girl/pet. when you're getting undressed for the shower, ask yourself, sexily, "is this for me?" and then your choice of pretty/handsome little thing or dirty little slut. invoke your inner dom in other areas of your life you imagine enjoying control. remember: you have to learn to bear through edging on self-control alone before you start to really lean into it from an internal perspective. and when you're edging, it's really hard for that to be the only time you're trying to do this.

step 3: when it's becoming more habitual, it's time to bring the edging up a notch. start setting true limits, experimenting with various things. these are the parameters i recommend experimenting with, one at a time, empirical-style:

how many edges can you do in one session before your urge to cum outweighs your inner dom? can you stretch this, with practice?

how does your body feel edging over and over again for 1 hour, vs. edging once per hour the whole day? more desperate and fuzzy, or less?

how does your body feel being teased slowly up to the edge vs. brute-forced into as quick an edge as possible? can you shorten, or lengthen, the times for each?

how close to the edge can you get yourself before a ruin becomes inevitable? what signs in your body point to this - tightening, contracting, throbbing, temperature, tingling? from there, can you roughly estimate a timeframe or amount of certain types of stimulation?

does setting aside specific times of day to edge, and not permitting it outside those times, frustrate/distract you more? or does allowing yourself to edge whenever you have time/feel like it frustrate/distract you more?

is it better to (eventually) cum directly after a long edging session, or to allow yourself to cool down completely and *then* cum?

how many methods of edging (insertion, fingering/stroking, vibration, humping, nipples, etc) can you perform, and in how many positions?

is it more frustrating to gently stroke/fondle yourself once every few minutes for the whole day without edging, or to edge repeatedly in a short period for an hour once a day?

there's a lot more you can try out. i recommend keeping a journal for all this. setting these kinds of goals and experiments for yourself will both a) keep you engaged intellectually and motivated, and b) get you in better communication with your own body. throughout all this, continue practicing that inner dom persona. praise yourself, degrade yourself, have dialogues with yourself; tell yourself to be useful or good, then respond with a pout and a "yes" and your choice of honorific.

more ideas/challenges can be found all over BDSMlr if you look for "edging challenges," but be aware many of them contain bioessentialist themes/language.

step 3.5: most d/s relationships have a reward/punishment hierarchy. so as you're taking step 3, explore what motivates you more - punishment, or reward - and, conversely, what gets you subbier: having more, or less of what motivates you. i'll explain, but:

when you fail a goal by going over the edge or ruining, what's the punishment that makes you feel the most repentant? is it impact, humiliating yourself somehow, some other unpleasant sensation, writing lines or other tedium? what makes you feel the least inclined to disobey again?

when you succeed at a goal, what reward makes you feel most fulfilled? is it an orgasm? several orgasms? sweet treats? a good smoke session? buying new lingerie? some combination of them?

from there: what successes or failures feel most, to least, deserving of the worst/best punishments and rewards? can you rank them?

and then: are you noticing you meet goals more when you're punished strictly, or rewarded fairly?

then here's the complex bit...does it align more, or less, with your desired form of submission to be consistent like that, or inconsistent? do you want a dom who always gives you the same caliber of reward/punishment for the same actions, or one who's cruel enough to keep you guessing at their whims? do you want a dom who adheres to you being more reward- or punishment- motivated, or a dom who doesn't care what motivates you, but rather what pleases them?

when you reward/punish yourself, thank or apologize to yourself, too :)

step 4: keep taking notes, but ask yourself these questions (you may want to take a break from edging just to have a clear mind):

why do i want to stay denied? is it because i like the challenge, or because i like a feeling like helplessness, neediness, vulnerability, or dumbness?

once you have that question answered, move on to: which of the ways/variables i tested while edging best gives me the feeling i'm looking for? was it more frustration, or less? was it frustration in small doses through the day, or all at once at a predictable time? was it switching up my methods, or staying consistent?

do i want to feel dumb/humiliated/put in my place/crushed by denial, or do i want to feel empowered/secured/confident because of it? which of the variables i tested made me feel the way i wanted?

your answer to many of these may be "both" or "i don't know," to which i suggest you spend some time on each. you'll either have a preference, or you'll switch back and forth, or find some middle ground - up to you.

one thing i've noticed is a theme among my advice asks is: how do i stay denied as long/edge as much as you, and that's for you to figure out if you even should. it's time to ask the question, what feels more doable for me: longer time periods without orgasms, or more edges total? you might say "both," to which i'd say, you and every newbie denial sub! it is 100% more feasible to pick one or the other as a goal at a time. hone those skills separately, and they'll naturally come together eventually if you decide you want them to.

step 5: reach for the stars! if you want to, that is :) you may just find you like a stable pattern of denial. you may find that pushing too hard past a certain point causes dropping. you may find that pushing too hard causes life stress. orrr you may find that "more" is never enough...like myself lol. any/all/it changing/some of each is 100% okay. or maybe you get off (or not) on setting impossible challenges and reaping the punishment for it :)

by this time, your body will have hopefully gotten past the awkward "mind thinks edging is hot, but so hot that i cum when trying to do it" phase. a combo of inner dom chatter + having intellectual/introspective challenges to work through was what got me to where i am right now lol. at some point, having my owner there to take the mental load off was great, but also, i'm so used to it that i still dom myself a lot lol. and a quick note: this may not work for you. that's okay, too: that's all part of your learning process. maybe you need external validation, and that's all there is to it - you're at least one step closer to understanding how denial works for you!

i'll finish with some lecturing to your "inner dom:"

good doms obey limits. if you don't like something you try, no matter how mean your inner dom is, you don't have to put up with it again.

good doms know life happens. if real life gets in the way of edging/completing goals, a good dom would never presume to come above that shit. if edging/completing goals is getting in the way of real life, a good dom would adjust so that it doesn't. responsibilities should continue to take precedence.

good doms are risk-aware. if you're experimenting with pain, bondage, anal, sensation play, etc., do what every good dom should do and educate yourself first! know the risks, and implement strategies to mitigate them.

good doms provide aftercare. take care of yourself on the comedown. try to allow time between a session and IRL responsibilities to recenter.

and finally, just a bit of affirmation for you, the person, as you navigate this exciting new lifestyle:

if you're not having fun, don't do it!

you are fully capable of this. whether it's my method or someone else's, if this is what you want, and it feels good, you can do it. you are not a bad sub if you can't, or if you can't do it the way someone else does.

this is not a masculine thing, or a feminine thing, or an enby thing, or a straight thing, or a gay thing, etc. it's not even a sub thing, really, but the sub perspective is the only one i can speak on. it's a kink, or a kink enhancer, that is "for" anyone who likes it!

in that vein, reject that which does not work for your body. do not be afraid to pass up edging advice just because someone seems to know what they're talking about. you also do not have to accept bioessentialist undertones just because it seems like good advice.

and finally: yes, you can dom yourself. you are capable, you are trustworthy (probably more so than even some doms lol), and you are absolutely worthy of your own submission and devotion.

have fun, stay safe, and drip a little, if it suits you c; (and don't hesitate to ask questions on my blog if you still have them!)

#0rgasm denial #denial kink #t4t nsft #how to #advice #denial #only barks

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