#Crucial Conversations

[crucialconversations]

Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue and Crucial Accountability: Unlocking Effective Communication and Personal Responsibility

What matters in professional and personal life is the ability to communicate. The problem arises when emotions become high or stakes are heightened. Here is where Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue and Crucial Accountability come into play. These two powerful frameworks provide the tools and techniques needed to navigate tough discussions and hold individuals accountable for their actions, thus unlocking more effective communication and fostering a culture of personal responsibility. What Are Key Conversations for Effective Dialogue Mastery? Mastering dialogue- high-stakes communications-when opinions are different, emotions are running high, and the outcome may actually matter. These conversations come at the time when the stakes are highest, say while doing performance reviews, discussing family matters, or when gathering together with your team. Yes, mastering dialogue-meaningful, respectful exchanges across differences or tension-can be quite necessary in effective responses to such situations. One thing that requires a cool and open-calmed person is dialogue so one can communicate effectively and respectfully. Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue teaches you how to speak persuasively, listen actively, and make sure your partner and you both have a chance to be heard while you work toward a constructive outcome. You will, therefore, learn many techniques to help you solve conflicts, unfailingly address the root causes of misunderstandings, and build stronger interpersonal relationships. Crucial Accountability: Holding People Responsible with Respect Once dialogue is established, there is ensuring people actually follow through on commitments, meet expectations, and take responsibility for their actions. That's where Crucial Accountability fits in. Crucial Accountability talks of holding people accountable in a constructive, respectful, and positive-changing manner. Whether leading others or accountable to others who have expectations for you, making sense of how to bring Crucial Accountability into everyday life will make all the difference in the world. That isn't about blame but getting clear on expectations and tackling failures without judgment, which pushes a person toward taking their duties seriously. Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue and Crucial Accountability, applied together, make a powerful combination. In instances when accountability is necessary, dialogue needs to be wide open, respectful, and solution-focused because progress will best be achieved through such an approach. Why Mastering Dialogue and Accountability Matters Mastering dialogue and accountability ends up building an environment of trust and transparency. Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue contributes to better understanding whether at work or personal relationships, while Crucial Accountability ensures that people follow through on their commitments. The result is stronger relationships, better performance, and greater problem-solving. Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue and Crucial Accountability enable people to communicate better, confront issues head-on, and develop an accountability culture. The frameworks are not just about the management of conversation or accountability but enabling people to make thoughtful, informed decisions with respect for others. Conclusion In today's fast-paced world, navigating Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue and applying Crucial Accountability is a game-changer. It helps you communicate more effectively, resolve conflicts, and maintain personal responsibility in any setting. Integrate these principles into your everyday interactions and unlock potential for personal growth, professional development, and stronger relationships. It is the embracing of the power of dialogue and accountability, and you'll be able to have long-term improvement in your personal and professional life.

[shitpostingkats]

Man I've been playing through dual destinies and the visceral Apollo and Athena contrasts are making me go insane.

Your name is Apollo Justice. You are a lawyer. You're a pawn. You're a weapon. Your mentor is a jackass and your rival only sees you as a ghost of his brother. You're pushed around town to run chores you aren't being rewarded for. You are volunteered to deliver revenge on behalf of your jackass mentor, who refuses to tell you anything because it might spoil his game. When you falter, everyone tells you to learn to stand up on your own. Your mother finally learns of your existence, but she isn't ready, so everyone agrees not to tell you. After all, it's her feelings that are at stake. Apollo? It's never about Apollo.

Your name is Athena Cykes. You are a lawyer. You got here all by yourself, clawed your way to it all on your own. Your mentor set aside space in his life to take you under his wing, to offer advice and security. He takes over when you falter, and walks you through everything he's doing, so you can one day stand without assistance. You keep working, so so hard, because everyone in the courtroom is a familiar face. Your childhood friend. Your mentor. Your coworker who is slowly losing it, and you're not sure why, but you're pretty sure it's your fault. The man who gave up everything for you. Athena? Everything is about Athena.

Neither of you is okay.

[why-is-it-always-autumn]

We've all heard of "Barry Bluejeans was the roadrunner to Kravitz's Wile E Coyote for like ten years post-Stolen Century pre-Gerblins" (impeccable concept, always hilarious) but consider:

Kravitz has attempted to reap Merle-Fuckin-Highchurch at least 4d6 times since he first appeared on this plane. Through a series of miscommunications, lucky rolls, slapstick shenanigans, and the occasional bout of divine intervention, he has never once succeeded.

Merle is totally oblivious to both his alleged crimes and Kravitz's increasingly desperate attempts to charge him for them.

[batw1nggg]

the way u can not even talk about trial 2-5 without talking about komahinas deep understanding of one anothers psyche. like i know i talk about it a lot but the case being solved relied entirely on hajime because hajime was the only one who understood komaeda enough to figure out his motive. but like. they REALLY STRESS IT. hajimes pretty much the only one to even THINK to turn to the motive, everyone else kinda just brushes it off as komaeda being crazy. but komaeda’s insanity DOES abide by a logic and hajime is the only one that took the time to unravel that while komaeda was still alive

hajimes able to get into komaedas head so well that he straight up start roleplaying komaeda mid trial too like do yall remember that. he was straight up like Well if komaeda were here… i think he would say… and monokuma called him out for that gay ass shit too LIKE DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON 2-5 I WILL TALK FOR HOURS I CANT TEVEN THINK ABOUT IT WITHOUT FEELING OHYSICAL PAIN

[sylhorn]

I’m kind of baffled about the state of dawntrail discussions having two parties in regards to Living Memory, one being “shutting it down is amoral” and the other being “it’s moral and not at all like what Emet-Selch wanted to do with us”. It’s like a lot of people refuse to engage with the narrative from any other perspective other than their own when the game essentially hits you over the head with the message.

Yes, the existence of Living Memory is unsutainable and amoral and, frankly, pointless – you can make the very valid argument that the people there were just AI chatbots trained on the memories of a given individual, leeching off of the souls of others, their existence demanding the genocide of the entire universe in the end. I agree, in our eyes, Living Memory is an affront to life, sure!

Nobody seems to talk about that this is the exact same perspective Emet-Selch had about us, or when mentioned, people say that it isn’t the same. It is? He very explicitly tells us that the people living on the shards today are pale imitations to what he considered to be life, and thus shutting it down and trying to undo his mistake IS the solution (he is very much like Solas from DA in this regard), because in his eyes there’s nothing to lose but everything to gain. Emet-Selch saw us in the same light we see the people of Living Memory, and the game is painfully unsubtle in drawing this parallel. Even with the differences (we are not recreated memories but actual souls being reborn from the aetherial sea, etc-etc), the game WANTS you to make this connection between Emet and what we do. It is quite literally the point!

Yes, Living Memory has to be shut down because its biggest drawback is that it’s unsustainable and would continue to destroy what we deem to be lives. It is also arguably an affront to what we consider life and its natural end (directly opposing the message of Endwalker). The Endless aren’t even too hung up about this shutdown, bar Sphene. Shutting down Living Memory is necessary.

But you can’t say it was morally good and unquestionable if you can’t give Emet’s views the same grace. In the end, both his plans (and the Ascians at large, frankly) and Living Memory had to be stopped because that means survival for us, but to divorce the two narratives to maintain the WoL and co.’s moral superiority is disingenuous and does the story a disservice.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[autumnhobbit]

would you all think that continually rescheduling even up to the last minute before an appointment, regularly switching from call to texting even when i’ve said i find texting less helpful because it comes off more brusque, no consistent linear topic directing, constantly directing focus to my day to day life/relationship rather than anything else about me even if i express concern about the rest of it is reason to consider breaking up with a therapist

[trans-axolotl]

some of Eli Clare's writing about diagnosis feels very relevant to discussions on tumblr right now:

"It’s impossible to grapple with cure without encountering white Western medical diagnosis—ink on paper in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and the International Classification of Diseases, a process in the hands of doctors, a system of categorization. I want to read diagnosis as a source of knowledge, sometimes trustworthy and other times suspect. As a tool and a weapon shaped by particular belief systems, useful and dangerous by turns. As a furious storm, exerting pressure in many directions.

Simply put, diagnosis wields immense power. It can provide us access to vital medical technology or shame us, reveal a path toward less pain or get us locked up. It opens doors and slams them shut.

Diagnosis names the conditions in our body-minds, charts the connections between them. It holds knowledge. It organizes visceral realities. It draws borders and boundaries, separating fluid in the lungs from high blood pressure, ulcers from kidney stones, declaring anxiety attacks distinct from heart attacks, post-traumatic stress disconnected from depression. It legitimizes some pain as real; it identifies other pain as psychosomatic or malingering. It reveals little about the power of these borders and boundaries. Through its technology—x-rays, MRIs, blood draws, EKGs, CAT scans—diagnosis transforms our three-dimensional body-minds into two-dimensional graphs and charts, images on light boards, symptoms in databases, words on paper. It holds history and creates baselines. It predicts the future and shapes all sorts of decisions. It unleashes political and cultural forces. At its best, diagnosis affirms our distress, orients us to what’s happening in our body-minds, helps make meaning out of chaotic visceral experiences.

But diagnosis rarely stays at its best. It can also disorient us or de- value what we know about ourselves. It can leave us with doubts, questions, shame. It can catapult us out of our body-minds. All too often diagnosis is poorly conceived or flagrantly oppressive. It is brandished as authority, our body-minds bent to match diagnostic criteria rather than vice versa. Diagnosis can become a cover for what health care providers don’t understand; become more important than our messy visceral selves; become the totality of who we are.

...

It is impossible to name all the ways in which diagnosis is useful.

It propels eradication and affirms what we know about our own body-minds. It extends the reach of genocide and makes meaning of the pain that keeps us up night after night. It allows for violence in the name of care and creates access to medical technology, human services, and essential care. It sets in motion social control and guides treatment that provides comfort. It takes away self-determination and saves lives. It disregards what we know about our own body-minds and leads to cure.

Diagnosis is useful, but for whom and to what ends?"

-Eli Clare, Brilliant Imperfection pg 41-42, 48.

[transmascutena]

i think all the episode previews are good and worth watching but they do vary so much in how important they are. like most of them are just a fun little joke or whatever but then the preview for episode 33 drops the entire setup to the plot of that episode which you wouldn't get at all if you skipped it

[mcmissileproof]

ostensibly cishet coworkers who randomly strike up conversations with you like "so... pride month is coming up... how about that" are a vital part of the work experience when you're not out professionally and I didn't even know to miss them until I worked at a place without them

[lgbtlunaverse]

It's actually pretty fun and not a crime to read fanfiction of media you haven't read/watched yourself. Maybe an author you like from a fandom you're in started writing for this new thing now, and even if you don't know the characters their writing is great. It's like dropping in on the 5th season of a good tv show. Do you know who these people are? Not a clue. Does this fuck? Supremely.

And then maybe you check out their bookmarks and find a bunch more fics from that fandom and hey you sort of know these characters' names by now and the writing is still good, and you're just enjoying yourself! You're not participating in the discourse, you have no idea what's ooc or not and you don't have serious opinions on it. You're just vibing. Taking in the craft. For all you know these are all just conspicuously similarly named OCs. It's harmless as long as you refrain from tricking yourself you actually know what's going on in canon and start posting, that's the devil talking and you mustn't give in.

[cruciallifechangingskills]

Crucial Conversations are those that matter most: They're the ones that challenge us, change us, and define us. BYLD Group offers Crucial Conversations training that can help you develop the skills you need to have productive and successful conversations, even when the stakes are high.

[sovonight]

more on this au

after the events of the games, radri becomes the new lady of murder and tries to adjust her image, mainly trying to get bhaal's existing old followers to stop doing sadistic sacrifices in her name. but they just think it's a trick to test their devotion and they just start murdering harder. radri does gain some good-aligned followers who remember her for her actions during the games, but they're very much a minority. while all this is happening she's also trying to adjust to being a goddess in general & managing her plane and the beings in it (who also expect her to be evil; she is so tired of being expected to be evil). eventually she shuts down and closes herself off into her old pocket plane and just does the bare minimum, earning her a reputation of being a reclusive mess (among the gods, at least. the mortals have no idea how sad she looks rn)

fast forward to some time later, radri has grown SO sick of cespenar (who will Not get the hint that he's not welcome in her pocket plane alone time, and keeps popping back in whenever she removes him) and peeks back in on the lives of her old companions. everyone seems happier than she'd left them, more rested & recovered, especially imoen, who she'd been worried about the most. in a spur of the moment decision she makes an avatar to greet her in person, but at the last moment, radri falters. she can't face imoen--she's too afraid of how imoen will react. radri didn't tell anyone she was going to ascend--she'd barely even thought it through herself, it was a decision made out of guilt and pain and self loathing. radri disappears, and imoen turns just a moment too late, strangely sure that her sister had just been standing there

anyway, radri has an avatar now, and it'd be a shame not to use it, right? she finds jaheira. (subconsciously, the reason she's able to show herself to jaheira but not imoen is bc jaheira appears to live with little left to lose these days; radri is less scared of ruining her life)

meanwhile, xan is still with the greycloaks, having gone on several successful missions after recovering from his solo escape from the nashkel mines. this time, however, the greycloaks have abruptly dumped him into a mentor role (apparently to build some traditional sense of cooperation and morale) to daelas, a young upcoming greycloak agent who's carefree, outgoing, and had complained loudly about his assignment to xan (who had been, unbeknownst to daelas, within earshot). xan sees daelas' promise and feels it is his duty to mentor him properly, but is also constantly having his patience tested. their first mission together is to investigate a strange unrest involving people disappearing/being kidnapped in some area of the sword coast

as it happens, jaheira had already had her eye on this unrest & had been traveling to investigate it herself, and thinks it would be good for radri to travel with her to resolve it (she mainly just wants to get radri out and about and active again, for the sake of her mental health). the two pairs cross paths and join up when they realize their common goal

xan initially finds radri oddly familiar, as though he should know who she is (because her fame/infamy was so great, most people have a rough idea of her name + description, but only a big fan would be able to confidently clock her right away), but radri manages to brush it off by saying she has a common name where she's from/that she's often mistaken for others/etc. xan naturally asks where she's from then, and radri freezes with "candlekeep" right on her tongue, and instead forces out "baldurs gate". later xan muses in front of daelas that she seemed to be lying & that it's suspicious, and daelas is like i think it's your austere frown that made her nervous, have you ever tried smiling? (xan gives daelas a withering look)

daelas quickly forms a friendship with her--it's one-sided at the start, but radri soon warms up to him, in part because they're both thieves (although daelas is a fighter/thief for party balance). meanwhile, xan keeps finding weird discrepancies in radri's background/behavior: radri was introduced as jaheira's ward, and yet jaheira seems accustomed to following radri's orders; radri seems unconcerned about risking her own life, but very scared of risking everyone else's; radri has too many spells that she insists are just from her collection of artifacts from her time adventuring (those artifacts would have to be rare and expensive indeed, but xan hasn't seen her actually show a single one of them). daelas interprets xan's special attention towards radri as romantic interest, and starts pushing the two together (partly because he can tell radri is interested in xan, and partly because it gets xan off his back so he can relax in peace)

radri knows what daelas is thinking & doesn't buy that xan's attention is romantic in nature, but she can't help but hope and try her luck anyway. she gives xan gifts (practical ones, like gear or consumables that he'd needed to replenish anyway--spells, components, ink, parchment) but does so in secret, so he barely even notices the gift has been given, much less that it's from her. the one time she dares to leave flowers with it, he mistakes it for an anonymous gift from the innkeeper's pushy daughter and disposes of it publicly (radri is devastated until she overhears the assumption he'd made). she tries her best to loop xan into talking about himself/magic/evereska/his passions, but he keeps turning the conversation back to her in equal measure, forcing radri to scramble for half-truths to continue to conceal her identity. one time when xan mentions the particular danger of the pass ahead and how much he's not looking forward to it, radri goes ahead of the party in the middle of the night and clears the way ahead--but then later when the whole party goes through, xan is only put that much more on edge when nothing happens. another time when xan expresses how much he regrets the moonblade & yet feels that he must keep it, she asks if he would release it if corellon himself gave the okay, and xan's like sure but that's never realistically going to happen, and for the next few days radri looks into what it would take to get an audience with corellon (spoiler: a lot) and gives up when she realizes her reputation is in such shambles that it would probably reflect badly on xan for her to be in any way involved

on xan's side, radri had admitted early on that she's had few friends & has always wished for more, so xan feels like he should be her friend first and a romantic interest second, and tends to redirect/suppress his romantic interest in her compared to canon. his affections take form as bits of poetry in the margins of his spellbook, braided flowers that remind him of her, longing glances when she isn't looking, and cantrips to cheer her when she gets a somber, distant look in her eyes. one time, radri asks about the flowers and asks lightly if he has anyone back in evereska, and xan feels caught with his affection for her and rambles by saying no, and he's never been interested in such relationships, he merely appreciates the flowers for being what they are. radri looks struck by that information and makes a weak and awkward smile, and is distant until he seeks her out again. from then on, radri seems muted but somehow a little freer around him (for her, the stakes are lower now that she knows she really, truly does not have a chance with him, ever). they grow closer from then on as strictly friends, with both of them hiding their affection

radri ends up telling xan about her almost visiting imoen:

R: (describing how well imoen's life is going now, how happy she is for her, but obviously feeling sad that she's not in it) (remembering she needs to make up an excuse for her semi omnipotence) …Well, that's just what I've heard, anyway. X: …You haven't talked to her? R: No. I… left, a while ago. Never to return. She didn't react well… but I did it for her. For everyone. Everything just seemed to go wrong when I was around…. R: I can't talk to her. Not when things are finally going well for her. …It's better this way. X: If you believe that, then why are you here? R: W--what? X: If you think that your presence only spells misfortune for your companions, why travel with Jaheira? Why join us? R: … X: I think that-- (noticing that radri's mood has completely fallen, worried) Radri--? R: No. You're right. Why am I here? (she stands, eyes brimming with tears) R: I'm weak. I'm stupid. That's why I'm here.

hurt and emotional, she escapes to the pocket plane, and her exit is the last piece of information xan needs to put together who she is.

after some confusion over radri's disappearance (jaheira isn't that confused or surprised by it, which only confirms xan's suspicion further since he knows now that jaheira had famously accompanied radri throughout the events of the games, but daelas is totally like what do you MEAN she's just gone, xan what did you SAY to her?!!) the party can only travel on, and finds out the heart of the unrest: radri's followers, arguing over the "right" way to worship her. the disappearances in the area have been due to her evil followers collecting sacrifices, building up to the grandest sacrifice yet in the hopes that the new lady of murder will finally approve of them like bhaal used to, and the good followers have been thwarting their efforts and getting in their way, arguing that radri said quite explicitly that she did Not want murder/torture sacrifices anymore. jaheira xan & daelas are discovered in their investigation, and are captured and tossed in a cage; soon after, a huge fight breaks out between the two sides outside.

suddenly, the sounds of fighting stop, and what sounds like some sort of divine voice speaks out with reverb, but it's so muffled by the time it reaches the cages that they can't really make out what's being said. moments later, radri walks into the room & unlocks the cage. after a hasty explanation (radri says things have been resolved for now, and while there's ultimately more work to do, the original quest is over) they leave the place--through a back door, so the party doesn't get to see exactly what took place at the site of the main fight. as they leave, xan is just staring at radri trying to reconcile the radri he knows with the "lady of murder" who had triumphed in the chaos those several years ago. radri can feel his eyes on her, and knows that xan knows the truth now

later, radri & xan find themselves in a moment alone, and radri apologizes for her reaction and for leaving, and apologizes that the reason for the whole quest was because she couldn't keep her own mess in check, and she just let it spiral out of control. she promises that from now on, he won't have to see her again, and tries to say her goodbyes--but xan stops her. he finishes what he was trying to say the last time they spoke--that even if what she believes is true, that her presence ruins everything and dooms her companions and she should just leave everyone alone, don't her companions have a say in that, too? they chose to follow her. they clearly see something in her that's worth braving death and ruin for. and with that love, they wouldn't want her to disappear "for their sake"--they'd want her to stay. radri stares at him, taking in that he's saying this despite knowing exactly who she is, and starts crying

they hug, and as xan holds her he's like, of course this extends to me too, i want to see you again, i… i care for you… as much as a mortal can possibly claim he knows a goddess well enough to hold such feelings for her. and radri just assumes that xan means, like, platonically, and she's already emotional and relieved and lightheaded, and she's like, sure, i'll drop by, i just… have to get my feelings back in check first because i still haven't gotten over my huge crush on you and now you've just told me something with a huge impact on my mindset of the last several years so i've kind of been knocked back to square one. but i'll get there. and xan's like, ….you had a what? and radri's like, yeah, you know that gift you threw away, that was mine, and so were all those other random spell scrolls that turned up in your pack, and that dangerous pass being so uneventful was my doing too, oh and this is so embarrassing but i even tried to see if corel--uh, xan? (xan is frozen, flashing back through all the evidence of radri's affection, now realizing it for what it was)

although xan's mind is racing, radri's emotionally exhausted and they turn in for the night. when radri wakes, xan presents her with a crown of flowers, and uses them to admit that he was always thinking of her when he gathered them before. he tells her that in one of his earliest missions, he was sent to investigate the iron shortage and was captured in the mines--he only escaped because a commotion distracted mulahey & the kobolds long enough for him to retrieve his moonblade and flee. that very commotion was due to her arrival, and he's been thinking about what would have happened if he'd met her then, if he'd joined her in her travels, if they'd been mortal together. radri wears a sad smile like, so it's impossible now, because i'm a goddess…? and xan's like, that would be the wise thing to say. but… i already lost one chance to know you, and nearly lost another. as foolish as this might make me, i want to love you now, if you'll have me.

(after all this, radri finally visits imoen for real, and the world doesn't end. imoen doesn't hate her; in fact, imoen hits her playfully on the arm and asks her what took so long.)

[hoodienanami]

since were living in this new age of understanding when it comes to how becoming famous (especially tabloid famous/infamous) at a young age negatively effects your mental health and psychological development i think its time that ppl start reevaluating how they talk about the sex pistols

[dykexenomorph]

fuck spring tornado season!!!!