#Crowley better come up with an good excuse

[3lliesan]

A Herrscher in twst...

I was brainstorming about my Honkai!Yuu a while back when I realized something, specifically after the Glomask event.

I plan on making Yuu a Herrscher, even after being reincarnated in TWST. Everyone knows that Twisted Wonderland doesn't have many religious themes with how everyone seems to pay attention to the Great 7 more as the center of worship. But there were clear mentions about them either way.

And even if there are people who are religious there, the mentions of "God" don't really stand out as much.

The definition of a Herrscher is literally a "ruler" or "god", literally beings who have "god-like powers" capable of bending physical laws in hi3. This makes me wonder how the others might react to knowing their silly, otherworldly friend literally being a god despite behaving like a dumbass with autism most of the time...

...nevermind, religion or not, it will be chaos either way.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Dire Crowley - Raven Jacket Vignette

"A dramatic encounter"

[Lecture Hall]

Crowley: Good morning. It is beautiful out, what an absolutely splendid start to such a lovely day.

Crowley: Incidentally… Have you noticed any changes in the apple tree growing in the courtyard?

Crowley: Yes, that's right. I'm speaking of the smallest, most recent planted tree within the courtyard.

Crowley: It feels as though it was only yesterday that it first started sprouting, and yet… It truly is growing at an astonishing rate.

Crowley: Whenever I chance a glance at that ever-striving tree growing each and every day under rain, shine or clouds, I also feel a twinge of self-reflection to be better.

Crowley: As if telling me that in both happy times and sad, one cannot forget to continue to strive for growth.

Crowley: And also… At the same time, I feel as though that tree represents all you students enrolled here at Night Raven College.

Crowley: That is, with respect to the point that with a good environment and proper nourishment, you all are able to grow and mature so wonderfully.

Crowley: …Well? Wouldn't you say that was an inspiring speech!?

Leona: Zzz.

Crowley: EXCUSE ME. I JUST HEARD A VERY LARGE SNORE THERE, WHO WAS THAT!?

Azul: It was magnificent! I was utterly enthralled by your wonderfully deep analogy. As one should expect from someone like you, Crowley-sensei!

Riddle: Really? I could have done with a little more tangible explanation, myself.

Riddle: What especially caught my attention was what you said about having "proper nourishment." Headmage, sir! What would that constitute?

Idia: Forget that, was this student assembly even a need? It's not even lol-worthy to think about how much time we've wasted having to listen to the Headmage's self-indulgent monologues on loop.

Vil: I concur. If all you wish to do is chit-chat, could you not gather the entire student body? I would rather use my mornings for my stretching exercises.

Octavinelle Student: Yeah, it's always some kind of useless speech.

Heartslabyul Student: I wanna go back to my dorm～

[clamoring]

Crowley: EVERYONE PLEASE QUIET DOWN!

Crowley: Anyway! What I was trying to say is…

Crowley: I would like everyone here to carry yourself with pride as befitting a student of Night Raven College.

Kalim: Oh! I was totally lost with what you were saying earlier, I see, so that's what you meant!

Kalim: I totally get it. I'll work hard just like an orange tree does!

Crowley: AN APPLE TREE!

[door opens]

Crowley: Hm? Who could possibly be showing up this late to… Ah.

Malleus: …

Crowley: D-DRACONIA-KUN!

Crowley: Right, did anyone tell him that there was to be a campus-wide student assembly…?

Everyone: Not at all.

Malleus: Was I not extended an invitation once again?

Malleus: You have the gall... To leave me outcast…

[lightning strikes down]

Crowley: W-Wait, Draconia-kun! Do not cast your lightning indoors!

Leona: Yaaaawn… Done blabbering, then? 'Kay, meeting over. Everyone back to their dorms.

[everyone nods]

Crowley: Aah, everyone, wait! If you're leaving, please take Draconia-kun with you!

[Cafeteria]

Crowley: For goodness’ sake. This morning could have gone much better.

Crowley: However, no matter what tribulations I may come across… Once it is time for lunch, I immediately feel much better!

Crowley: And that's all thanks to the delicious fare our school provides. What is the recommended meal of the day?

Ghost Chef: Welcome, Headmage. Today's recommendation is an exceptionally filling meat pie filled with large chunks of beef!

Crowley: Sounds fantastic. Please, I would have that, then.

Crowley: Oh, hello, Crewel-sensei and Vargas-sensei. I see Trein-sensei is with you too!

Crowley: Are you all taking lunch together? May I join you?

Vargas: Absolutely, yes, come and sit with us! I bet it'd be more than a hassle to find another seat when it's this crowded, anyway.

Crewel: I also was unable to find other seating, so here I am, reluctantly keeping company with a scold.

Trein: I do believe if you wish to avoid a lecture you would do well to not do anything warranting one.

Trein: …Oh. I see that you've ordered the beef pie, Headmage.

Crowley: That's correct. I am an avid connoisseur of meat, yes.

Crowley: Of course I'll eat it all, including beef, pork, chicken, and even wild game.

Trein: Wild game?

Crowley: Indeed, gibier, it's called. Have you ever tried it?

Vargas: Oh yeah, gibier! Last time I had some was when I ate some venison, and it sure did taste so delicious that I was overflowing with energy～

Crowley: You have a distinguished palate, Vargas-sensei. How wonderful.

Crowley: There are a multitude of other gibier meat to try, you know. I do hope you all have a chance to…

Sam: ＩＮ ＳＴＯＣＫ ＮＯＷ!

Everyone: AHH!!

Crowley: S-Sam-kun… I implore you to not pop in from behind us like that!

Sam: Nyeheehee. You all looked like you were lost in such enjoyable conversation, I just couldn't help myself.

Crewel: This is a rare sight, Sam. You're usually tending to the Mystery Shop around this time, aren't you?

Sam: The cafeteria ghosts had asked for a delivery of some ingredients, is all.

Sam: Headmage, if you're interested in some gibier that's a little more difficult to get your hands on, you know I got you.

Sam: Whatever kind of food you may want, I can procure it for you.

Crowley: You're fantastic, Sam-kun. How wonderfully supportive. However…

Crowley: In all actuality, I also have a fondness for vegetables, fruits and sweets in addition to meat. I love anything that is not spicy!

Crewel: I am fully aware. For as long as I remember, your omnivorous habits have made for quite the reputation.

Crowley: Omniv… Could you possibly say that in a more appropriate manner!?

Sam: …Hm? I just noticed that everyone's ordered very different dishes. Really goes to show each of your preferences.

Vargas: Since I always have my muscles on my mind, I make it so my lunches are egg dishes packed full of protein!

Crewel: I do like meat pies myself, so I did consider it… But that size is far too much for me.

Crewel: It may be perfect for those growing students, but it is most likely in excess of the recommended nutritional intake for us adults.

Trein: Indeed. I also selected something else when I saw it with my own eyes.

Trein: If I ate such a thing for lunch, I would still feel it weighing me down during afternoon classes.

Crowley: Is that so? Such a shame. It's so delicious～

Vargas: Nice, that's a great appetite you got. I'll have to work hard to keep up!

Trein: Look at him, devouring that hearty and greasy meat pie so easily… He truly is young at heart…

Crewel: You're not wrong, he hasn't changed one bit from my student days.

Trein: For that matter, I don't believe he's changed since I started my tenure here at Night Raven College…

Crewel: Headmage… How old is he truly? I'm curious, and yet I'm not sure I want to know…

Sam: Nyeheehee. He's truly a man of mystery. It piques one's curiosity.

Crowley: Ah, so delicious. Past me deserves such gracious thanks for hiring these Five-Star restaurant chefs.

Crowley: And what a dramatic encounter it was meeting those chef ghosts.

Crowley: That was… Oh, hm. How many decades ago, now?

[Main Street]

Crowley: Now, what shall I do this afternoon? The other professors are busy with classes, so mayhaps I'll go while away the time at Sam-kun's shop…

???: We ain't gotta sweat the small stuff, c'mon.

Crowley: Hm? This voice…

Grim: No one'll notice if we skip one or two classes. We should totally just snag a few z's instead, myahaha!

1. Let's hurry and head back towards the classroom. 2. Maybe you're right and no one will catch us…

Crowley: That certainly was Grim-kun's voice, I see…

Crowley: Even if it is just those two, how could there be anyone with the audacity to cut class at my academy! I absolutely cannot believe it!

Savanaclaw Student: Hey, we'll be using that bench to relax on while we ditch class. Get off.

Grim: Huuh!? I'm the one who found this sunny spot first!

Crowley: WHA― THERE ARE OTHERS CUTTING CLASS AS WELL!?

Crowley: Not only are there multiple students missing class, it seems a fight is about to break out, as well… What is with this break in decorum at this school?

Crowley: EXCUSE ME, YOU LOT! YOU SHOULD ALL BE IN CLASS RIGHT NOW!

Grim: Urgh. Someone annoying's found us.

Crowley: [Yuu]-kun, it is most troublesome if you cannot look after Grim-kun properly.

1. I'm sorry.

Crowley: How refreshing… It's so moving to have someone apologize so forthright immediately after breaking a rule…

2. Grim just doesn't listen to me.

Crowley: Y-You're just running yourself ragged, I see… Poor thing to have to deal with Grim-kun like this.

Crowley: All of you return to class this instant. It should be an honor that you have the privilege of attending classes here.

Crowley: Magic is not something so simple that can be controlled on talent alone.

Crowley: Of course, natural talent may be important, but what truly matters is maturing your abilities through daily growth and experiences.

Crowley: You all do remember my very loving speech from this morning, yes?

Grim: It was all about somethin' boring, so I wasn't listening.

Ignihyde Student: Yeah. Same.

Crowley: EXCUSE ME!? [Yuu]-kun, please tell me you had your listening ears on this morning?

1. Of course I remember.

Crowley: Whew... At least you're a good student.

2. Something about grape trees, right?

Crowley: APPLE TREES!

Ignihyde Student: Man, you're so annoying… You keep yammering on, but there's really no reason to listen to you, is there?

Diasomnia Student: Seriously. It’s not like I've ever seen the Headmage do any kind of crazy strong magic or anything, and even the Housewardens were ignoring him at the student assembly…

Savanaclaw Student: He ain't scary at all. Just ignore him!

Crowley: …What pitiful children.

Crowley: Well, I suppose I have no choice. I'll just have to show you exactly how important incremental advancement in your studies can be.

Crowley: …FOR MY KINDNESS KNOWS NO BOUNDS!

Students: HRRGHH!

Grim: Oh hey, that stuff wrapped around those guys is the Headmage's uh… weird rope thing!

Crowley: This is not rope. This is my lash of love! A slightly stronger version than before.

Savanaclaw Student: OW, OW! I'M GETTING SQUEEZED～!

Diasomnia Student: This kinda magic should be no problem to break out… Hurng, I can't!? Wh-Why? Our magic's not even making a scratch on it!

Crowley: That should be expected. You do realize I am the Headmage here, yes? This level of magic comes as easily to me as breathing does.

Crowley: It's one thing when those who comprehend my power, like the Housewardens, speak in jest…

Crowley: But it would be completely disgraceful of me as an instructor to be belittled by students like you who have no knowledge of the difference in our abilities.

Crowley: You should try to comprehend how unripe your magical abilities still are.

Grim: Yeah, yeah, get 'em, Crowley! Show 'em what little they know!

1. I wouldn't get too carried away… 2. Wouldn't it be better to run before…?

Crowley: And a lash of love for you! My more heedful version!

Grim: GRRAAH～!

1. Astounding, no matter how many times I see it! 2. Your lightning quick flick made quick work of him!

Crowley: Heh, you don't have to go that far in praising… Hold on now, Grim-kun! No matter how much you thrash about, nothing will come of it. Calm yourself.

Crowley: After all, I have such high expectations for you, Grim-kun. That includes you too, [Yuu]-kun.

Crowley: I fully believe that the two of you will be integral to changing the future of this academy.

Crowley: I'm sure you two will be all I hope for and more, don't you?

Grim: Yeah, yeah, I gotchu. Just leave it all to the genius Grim-sama.

Grim: …SO LET ME GO ALREADY～!

Crowley: Well then. I suppose I'll just take you all to your assigned classes just like this now.

Grim: Huh!? If you drag us along all tied up like this, everyone that'll see us will all point and laugh…!

Grim: LET GO, LET ME GOOO!

Crowley: I must make sure that you Night Raven College students properly reflect on your actions and learn from each experience.

Crowley: And that is because you are all one of my very precious, precious apple trees...

Requested by Anonymous.

[del-thetiredwriter]

Mafia Au/Good luck while running away from mafia part4

Intro, part 0.5 , part 1 , part 2 , part 3 , part 5

Tags: @hrhqueenfox , @hasty-desert , @oceanside-pixie , @lianreine , @h3apm3ch4n151m , @cecilebutcher , @ayachansan , @roseapov , @randomlyappearingartist , @serenity-loves-red , @wonderlandcrown , @nightw-izhu , @moonlight-nightwing , @lorkai , @lucid-stories , @morokumi

Notes: little bit rushed I guess? Well I am working on three other aus at the moment so. I hope you like it.

Warning: yandere stuff, gn reader, English is not my first language…

4 years ago

“Tyranttt!” You moaned.

“I haven't eaten a bite or drank a sip of water for hours. Now you're giving me an exam! “This is not a test, it is torture!” You shouted to the cameras on the wall.

As usual, you were training with Crewel sensei all day long. And it couldn't be said that he was a very kind teacher. He was extra harsh on you, especially compared to the other people he trained.

However, he had especially gotten things out of hand. Today was one of your least favorite days. Surprise exam day. Surprise exams: as the name suggests, you would never know the content and time of the exam. Crewel would put you to the test suddenly, without you even noticing. You especially hated the hands-on ones.

You couldn't eat properly yesterday. You had been training under Crewel Sensei all day. When you returned home, you fell asleep straight away from exhaustion. When you woke up, you found yourself handcuffed in a room. While I was sleepily trying to comprehend what was happening, Crewel Sensei's voice echoed into the room from the ceiling speaker.

“My dear little puppy, guess what time? Correct answer: Surprise exam! Your mission is to get out of the handcuffs and get out of this building within two hours. Let me tell you from the beginning, do not complain, the exam was prepared according to the topics we covered. Then I wish you good luck. Your time has begun.”

-

“Two hours and 6 minutes nch nch. You need to work harder. 8 minutes to get out of the handcuffs, 43 minutes to open all the locked doors, 40 minutes to pass the obstacles... we better tighten up your training."

You just glared at Divus as he seriously analyzed the exam. You're too hungry to bother with that damn practical exam. You just focused on eating your salad.

“I mean, what was slowing you down? Should we increase the number of exams?

“Sensei, it’s just six minutes, I was tired, unprepared-“

“The aim is to prepare you for all kinds of situations.” Crewel interrupted.You grimaced. You weren't in the mood to argue with him right now.

While Crewel was talking about your mistakes, there was a knock on the door. It was Sam.

“Sam-san!” Your eyes sparkled with joy at the sight of your savior. Whenever Crewel scolded you or increased your training hours, he would save you from Crewel like a savior angel.

“Excuse me to interrupt, but Boss wants the little imp.” said Sam.

“Huh, now? Why does he want Y/n?” Crewel asked with a grimace.

"Who knows. By the way, get it while you're at it.I brought the information you requested.”

He handed Crewel a package. Meanwhile, you escaped at the first opportunity you had and went to Crowley, the head of the mafia.

-

“Looks like Crewel gave you one of his wonderful exams again, hmm?” The masked man asked, as he poured a tea for you.

"Yes sir."

Dire Crowley is the head of one of the largest organizations in the Underworld and also your protector who took you in when you were ten years old. You had always wondered how such a goofy and slightly weird guy became the head of the mafia.

Once, when you asked Crewel sensei about this, he told you these words.“If you only knew what that man did… Anyway, just be careful with him. He is…the devil himself.”

“You've been with me for a long time, Y/n, and the time has finally come.”He handed you a file.

“Congratulations, you are now an official member of the mafia and here is your first target.”

You started examining the file.

“This man was a traitor we had been looking for a long time. He poses a great danger to the organization. I want you to get rid of him.”

———

Current time

You were on something soft. You opened your eyes slowly. You felt a pain in your shoulder.

“Jamil! Y/n woke up!”

You heard a joyful familiar voice. The owner of the voice hugged you with joy. Kalim. You tried to comprehend the events in a dazed manner.

That's right, Floyd shot you last and you fainted from blood loss while running with all your strength. And apparently Scarabia had caught you.

“Oh Y/n you really had me worried. If you only knew how scared I was when I saw you like that, shot and unconscious."

You didn't reply. You just stared blankly at Kalim.

“Yes Y/n you had us all so worried.” Jamil entered the room. He had a black agenda in his hand and was wearing a suit. Now if you look carefully, Kalim was also wearing a suit. The welds of weight on his wrists jingled as he turned to survey the room. Oh you were chained.

“Is it allowed to keep such things in the hotel room?” You said.

“Oh, I'm sorry, we brought the silver ones with us because we came here in a hurry, but don't worry, we have gold ones at home.” said Kalim innocently.

You loved Kalim, his sweet and pure nature prevented you from venting your anger on him. You gritted your teeth. You looked at Jamil.

“Kalim, you better go now, you need to greet our guests for the meeting. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes." Jamil dragged the manager out by force.

“But Jamil-“

“Don't worry, nothing will happen. They are both injured and the whole hotel is full of guards.”

After Kalim left, a grin appeared on Jamil's face that you had never seen before. A familiar and yet disturbing grin.

“Congratulations, you are truly someone who lives up to the title of the boss's right-hand man. Sorry, his former right-hand man. You know Kalim was so panicked it was hard for me to calm him down. Especially when you suddenly disappeared he stopped working, coming to meetings…You owe me for this.”

You didn’t answer. You knew he was trying to provoke you.

“I wonder what would have happened if those documents had never arrived? Would the boss throw you aside? Would you be his heir after all the training you received?”

You tried to hold yourself back.

"Who knows." You replied.

A burst of laughter broke out from Jamil. He approached you.

“Oh, you are really tough. It's not easy to break you, but don't worry, we have plenty of time. The doctor will be coming soon to change your bandages, so don't be a hassle. I notified room service for you to have breakfast.”

And he left the room.

You laughed. Oh apparently Crewel Sensei was right. Training would really come in handy.

-

Once you were free of the chains, you got into the bed and waited for the doctor.Indeed, as Jamil said, the doctor came about fifteen minutes later.You quietly waited for him to approach you on your bed.

“Excuse me, Y/n-san are you awake?”

You didn't reply. Just as the doctor was bending over to lift the blanket on you, you jumped on top of them and gagged them with one of the sheets before they could scream. You undressed the poor doctor while they were struggling in chains made for you.

“I'm sorry, but you know I have to run away. And my clothes are a little off for that.”

You were careful not to attract the suspicion of the guards as you left the room dressed as a doctor. You started walking away from there with normal steps.

Indeed, as Jamil said, there was protection everywhere. As you were about to get into the elevator, you noticed the guards talking on the phone, then they all hurriedly dispersed. Apparently room service had found the poor doctor.

You changed direction. You walked calmly but quickly and pulled the fire alarm. And as you wish, chaos broke out.

While people were screaming and running in panic, you mixed in with them. And you finally reached the exit.

When you left the hotel, you hailed a taxi with the money you got from the poor doctor.

“To the amusement park,” you said to the driver.

Then you called that number with the phone you got from the doctor.

“Hey it's me Y/n. It's time to pay me back. Be at the amusement park. Don't forget to bring a vehicle and weapon with you. You better be on time, Snow White."

-

“Looks like your training has paid off, Crewel.”The masked man said in a sarcastic tone.

“It's truly incredible, but it's a shame that such a person is a traitor.” said Trein as he caressed Lucius.

“Well, talent is in their blood, after all, he was like that too when he was young.” said Vargas.

“I have work to do. With your permission,” Crewel stood up sharply.

“Oh Crewel, don't be angry-“ but before Crowley could finish his sentence, Crewel spoke angrily.

“You hate it the most when we talk about him. Didn't you declare him a traitor to take over, and completely erased Ramshackle from the mafia? And now you're sacrificing them for your executives."

Crowley smiled under his mask.

“Crewel Crewel, are you really going to play innocent? You were the one who gave them those documents. If they didn't know anything, maybe we would still be living in peace. But no problem. After this game, we will return to our peaceful life again."

[yuri-is-online]

Daytime TV Dreaming (A Fyuuture Kid AU Drabble ft. Heartsabyul, Savanaclaw, and Octavinelle)

While camping in the mountains during Camp Vargas, you encounter a monster exactly like the one you fought off with Ace and Deuce at the beginning of the year. While trying to fight it off again, a strange portal opens up in the mine and a person jumps out of it to your rescue. He says he doesn't remember much, but it's clear when you bring him to Crowley that this boy is also from your world, despite being a mage, and until the headmage can think of a better solution, he assigns "Yutu" to your dorm.

Something a certain someone has an opinion about.

notes: When I was re-working my masterlist I deleted a fic that I meant to be the start of a series where Yuu’s child travels back in time to try and prevent the destruction of Twisted Wonderland and their parent's untimely death. For some reason I wrote that child as having been born after Yuu was forced to leave Twisted Wonderland with modified memories, so he doesn't actually know that much about his dad until he gets iseakaid just like Yuu did to attend Night Raven in a much more dystopian setting. Anyway if I ever go back to that concept I'll probably re work it, but I thought it would be fun to share my notes about the guys reaction to this newcomer who gets sorted into Ramshackle Dorm. They/them used for Yuu as always but they are implied to be afab, "Yutu" is not meant to be the child's real name, and he is meant to be wearing a disguise to make his identity less obvious. Actual fic can be found on my masterlist.

Heartsabyul

Ace- is legitimately worried about the intentions of this weird newcomer but it comes off as him being a jealous brat so no one takes him seriously. Look, something just doesn't feel right about this! Your world doesn't have any mages but now one shows up? And he's weirdly familiar with you? Cmon someone other than him start asking some questions please! Tries to have "a talk" with Yutu, who is trying really hard to understand what his parent saw in his dad and... just not getting it at all. RiP Ace you have been assigned cringe before the kid has even been born.

Deuce- only concerned with making a good impression because if this person is from Yuu's world then they might value his opinion on.... things. Also an honor student would try to win over his crush on his own merit and not by intimidating potential competition. Actually ends up befriending Yutu and really liking his vibes, which gives the boy a lot of guilt because he knows his dad would probably feel very guilty if he knew what his son's life has been like.

Trey- he is slightly worried about how Yuu will handle having to take care of an actual person and not just a monster, but he also feels like it is none of his business so he doesn't pay too much attention. But then Yuu mentions that Yutu is a pretty talented baker and that's why they haven't been bugging him for sweets as much. Well isn't that just ADORABLE??? Trey isn't upset about this at all nope, not one bit. He's extremely upset and Yutu is stirring the pot because he thinks making his dad angry is funny.

Cater- oh look, another person who won't be a part of his life eventually. He doesn't get any weird vibes from Yutu so he doesn't worry about what his appearance might mean too much, but there is something about the way the newbie insists on trying to be his friend that reminds him a lot of Yuu and isn't helping with this whole "denial of the crush" thing he is trying to do. If he didn't know any better he would think Yutu was doing it on purpose.

Riddle- immediately starts butting into Yuu's life more to give them advice about being a proper housewarden. Not that he didn't already see them as one, it's just disciplining a human student and disciplining Grim are a bit different and no he is not using this as an excuse to spy on the Prefect how dare this brat suggest his intentions are impure?!?! (Ah but you see Riddle you can't just take Yutu's head off in front of their Prefect because you want them to liiiike you and he is so going to use that against you.)

Savanaclaw

Leona- understands that something is not quite right as Yutu's explanation of who he is doesn't quite pass the sniff test. Literally, the brat smells like Yuu with his magic and since Leona was one of the people who got a good look at the portal Yutu came through he pieces things together pretty quickly. Not that he immediately goes and pulls a Vader on the kid, he just makes it clear he knows there is some time travel involved and demands to know what his goals are. He can leave the family shit for after he's secured the kid's existence.

Ruggie and Jack- while they have different opinions on the new kid, Leona's sense of smell still tells him Yutu's identity and as their dormleader he feels the need to take them aside and mention what he knows... sort of. He tells them that he's pretty sure time travel is involved and that Yutu is related to Yuu, but he neglects to mention the whole bit about who he thinks the father is... which drives them insane in completely different ways.

Ruggie thinks that since you clearly have a thing for beastmen anyway he would be stupid not to shoot his shot. He doesn't give two shits about whether or not Yutu is his kid, time isn't real so he can just rewrite it a bit.

Jack is determined to treat Yutu fairly and protect him since you are his friend and that's what friends do for each other's kids. Has a full blown panic over whether or not this might give the kid an identity crisis and takes him aside to reassure him he doesn't want to replace his real father, and that he will be happy as long as Yuu is happy. que the world's most awkward conversation

Octavinelle

Azul- Oh? Ramshackle has a new dorm member? And he's a mysterious mage... allegedly from the same world as Yuu... something doesn't make sense here but while he is figuring that out. Capitalism ho! This is a great money making opportunity he is observing and scheming and thinking about the perfect contract to get Yutu to spill all his secrets. Unfortunately, Yutu seems to be afraid of him for some reason? Not Floyd or Jade, just him. He can't say he dislikes it... but it is a bit odd, at least it gives him something to talk about with you???

Floyd- Also saw the portal that Yutu came through and thinks something must be up with how close the guppy seems to want to be with Yuu. Starts calling him baby shrimpy as a joke because of how clingy he is to you, but he really really hates it. He can't fight baby shrimpy because that will make you not like him, and he can't scare baby shrimpy off with a deal because he's weirdly smart with those sort of things. He also seems to really look up to Floyd... like that one spiderverse meme, and Floyd hates it! he already had a hard enough time getting Yuu alone when Grim was around he doesn't need a second baby unless it's actually his >:CCC

Jade- a new mage? How delightfully unpredictable. He's probably the only one genuinely happy Yutu is around because of how funny the story of his arrival is. The only upsetting thing about this is that he wasn't able to go camping with Yuu himself. Like Azul he senses something is wrong with Yutu's story, but he doesn't intend to press him until he has the new kid's trust. He's just here to help after all, there's nothing to be afraid of so long as there is no need for him to be jealous.

[frvmewxrk]

i’m in my analysing good omens era and i was just thinking at how aziraphale’s and crowley’s love languages are a big part of the reason it took them so long to figure out their reciprocated love.

when you’re a demon, an unforgivable creature, you don’t deserve to hear that you’re loved. demons don’t go around telling each other nice things, what they do if they want to show it, is acts of services.

a demon wouldn’t tell you you’re good, but they would cover up your duties for you and say that it’s so you owe them a favour which they will never claim, they wouldn’t say they love you but they would linger on your doorstep for a bit too long and steal your scarf as an excuse to meet you again.

and that’s what crowley does, he keeps aziraphale company and he makes him try food, he says that it’s to tempt him when it’s just an excuse to see the angel happy, he saves you from death situations and says that it’s because your substitute would be more of a bother than you are.

crowley never tells aziraphale anything, and that’s his way of showing him he loves him.

but when you’re an angel, doing nice things for each other is the norm, it’s the way to show the universe that you’re Good.

angels don’t go around giving each other’s things or doing your work for you, because that should be what you would do to anyone. if an angel gives you money, it’s not because they love you, it’s because they’re a good selfless person.

aziraphale does that countless times, he gives people his stuff, he never asks for money, he uses more miracles than necessary even if it means that he’ll get a reprimand just so he can help strangers on the street. acts of services for an angel are just intertwined in their essence.

so the only way to actually show it is to talk. if an angel loves someone, they have to tell them, if they love someone they tell them that they’re good and that they’re worth it. aziraphale positively lights up any time someone compliments him, because that’s what he needs to know that he’s loved.

so aziraphale tells crowley he’s good even if he knows that will make crowley skittish, aziraphale tells crowley that he always comes to save him to praise him for his caring, he tells crowley that he needs him and that’s the most loving words he could say, because what does an ethereal creature capable of anything need from anyone? their love, probably.

but they don’t understand each other.

crowley uses acts of service and aziraphale takes it as his way to show his forbidden goodness to the world, aziraphale uses words of affirmation and crowley thinks that’s his way of feeling better about himself for consorting with a demon.

why is 1941 and crowley saving his books so important for their relationship? because i think that’s when aziraphale realised the truth, crowley had already done his “good” act, he had already proved as he did countless times that he is not the usual demon and he’s actually nice, but saving something just because he knows aziraphale cares about that, and giving no excuse for his action, that’s something else.

it was the first act done, in aziraphale’s eyes, for no reason other than love.

aziraphale then tells him that he could do something for him in return, people interpret it as sexual (which i find very funny, mind you) but i think it’s just aziraphale’s way of telling crowley that he can also show him his love through acts, if that’s what crowley wants, he can save him back if that will mean crowley will realise that he loves him too.

and that’s why i also think that crowley is not very sure about the love being reciprocated, because he never had the realisation that aziraphale is always around him and telling him nice things because that’s how he can show his love.

and it is even worsened in the end, because if crowley knew, he would have waited for him.

it can be seen as a selfish act on crowley’s part, wanting your lover to put you over saving the universe, but i think it’s because crowley doesn’t know what aziraphale is doing. he can’t know that aziraphale is actually disregarding all of his feelings for the greater good, because crowley doesn’t know about these feelings.

what he thinks is that what he always thought was true, his angel doesn’t love him back and he chose heaven over him.

if they actually talked, it would’ve been resolved.

but the problem is that they don’t talk, they cling to their love and beliefs and they think that the other has finally caught up, and they are so convinced that they know everything of each other that they don’t find the need to do it.

[angelsdean]

I do think it's an insult to the masterful episode that is TMWWBK if you come away from it thinking the message is "Dean was a bad friend who wasn't there for Cas and didn't do enough to help him." The entire episode lays out how it was ultimately Cas's hubris and pride and shame of knowing he was betraying his friends that kept him from reaching out to Dean (and Sam and Bobby) repeatedly throughout the season. Bedlund makes it clear that Cas's downfall was of his own making. Sure Cas thought he was doing what he "had" to do, but Cas also doesn't try to do anything else than what he's decided is The Only Plan Of Action. And he purposely does not turn to his friends because of that mix of pride-shame. He thinks he's right and he doesn't want to be stopped. He also knows that what he is doing is wrong. Working with Crowley. Trying to tap purgatory. It's shady and extreme and could totally backfire. And it does.

Anyway when Cas asks ,"Where were you when I needed to hear this" he already knows the answer. We know he knows the answer because we just watched an entire episode of Cas spying on his friends! He knows exactly where his friends were the whole time. HE was there much of the time, watching them. But he chose not to turn to them for help. So when Dean says, "I was there, where were you," it's a sinking feeling for Cas because Dean is right and is calling him out and now that it's said out loud it doesn't feel good. But the whole episode is meant to show us how much Dean was there, waiting for Cas to turn to him (because Dean had no idea where Cas was and couldn't just easily contact him or go find him), and Cas being there, hidden, much of the time, refusing to turn to him. We see Dean spinning excuses for Cas and giving him the benefit of the doubt to Bobby and Sam whose suspicions were growing. Dean doing all this up until Cas's slip-up finally confirmed his worst fears, that Cas was lying to him and going behind their backs. Cas is not "the bad guy" and we can sympathize with him and his plight of course, but ultimately the episode is meant to show his downfall and how he let his hubris get the better of him at the cost of his friendships, primarily his relationship with Dean, who trusted him and fought for him most when others were ready to turn their backs on Cas.

[lenaellsi]

it's honestly a bit odd to me that so many people have jumped on the 'aziraphale will be pulling all the strings and playing politics in heaven' train. like I think it's true that the metatron is underestimating aziraphale's intelligence and ability to disrupt the second coming even while separated from crowley, but I also think the idea that aziraphale is going up to heaven with a clear idea of how he's just been lied to, an understanding of how much danger he's in, and a plan to stop it is a huge reach.

frankly, aziraphale is very vulnerable to manipulation. I'm thinking now of neil’s post with the diary entry from before the edinburgh minisode where he was duped by two humans, the whole thing with the nazis in 1941, and his sponsorship of shadwell's various obviously fake agents (sergeant milkbottle, etc.). he's not nearly as savvy as fanon tends to portray him. he takes people at face value, especially people he thinks of as Good. (that's not a dunk, btw--I find these things endearing, and a sign of aziraphale's innate wish to see the best in people. I just think that sometimes the BAMF protective aziraphale of fanon overshadows the slightly more naive aziraphale of canon. and honestly, I also think TV aziraphale is just a bit softer than book aziraphale, though he is capable of stepping up when it counts.)

and he's a bad liar! I know it's a meme in the fandom that aziraphale lies all the time, but he doesn't like it, and he's bad at it. he gets nervous and comes up with terrible excuses and the only reason he ever gets away with it is because the people he's lying to are idiots (gabriel), have their own agendas (god, the other archangels), or trust him to be honest (crowley).

aziraphale's real strength is his ability to take sudden, completely unexpected action. that's one of the things that crowley admires most about him. "he's unpredictable," is what he says to nina, and it's true! aziraphale's greatest moments of rebellion have always come from spur of the moment decisions, not intricate plans. (if anything, crowley is the planner--the arrangement and the thwarting of the apocalypse, their two longest cons, were both his idea.)

aziraphale gives the sword away because when he is forced to make a decision under pressure, he tends to land on the side of rebellious kindness. shielding crowley from the rain in eden, lying to gabriel to protect job's family, defying the quartermaster and returning to earth via possession during the apocalypse, blowing up his halo--he does these things because he's following that same impulse. when aziraphale has time to over think, he frets and fusses and is paralyzed by indecision. (or worse, he falls back on what heaven has taught him.)

TL;DR: I don't think aziraphale has any sort of grand plan other than a generalized "make things better," and I certainly don't think he is planning to betray heaven. he might try to come up with a plan once he figures out how bad things are going to get, but my bet is that what will actually disrupt the second coming is an absolutely bonkers off the wall decision that no one, crowley included, could ever predict. and I think it’ll happen, as it usually does with aziraphale, just after he accepts a difficult truth that fundamentally shifts his worldview—in this case, his final rejection of the idea of “good” and “bad” people, and of the entire morality system of heaven and hell.

[foolishlovers]

TRANS HUMAN AUs: Below you can find a list of Good Omens human AUs featuring trans characters.

[Requested by anon. You can request more fic recs here.] it’s okay, maybe not forever but we got today by astheworldcomestoanend (G, 1k) Aziraphale’s parents are fighting again, so he goes over to Crowley’s house to spend the night with him. Crowley is more than happy to bring his angel in and make sure he’s okay.

Win Condition by ineffablefool (G, 1k) Human AU. Aziraphale and Crowley's junior high school sets up a really weird school-wide Valentine's Day game that they're both kind of side-eying for different reasons. Talking about it over lunch gives them both the chance to confess something, though!

Belonging by LittleQueerdo (T, 2k) Crowley is woken by a librarian on a mission.

style, flair, and a head of red hair – she’s the nanny?! by lineslines (G, 5k) She takes a step into the light, a vision of red and black, of scant fabric and edges, seizes him in her gaze, which he realizes is almost as fiery as her hair, and drags it up and down his form, once, before she grins. “Oh angel, let me guess, you probably think tartan is stylish?” “Tartan is stylish,” Aziraphale automatically protests, before his brain slowly catches up with his mouth. And his eyes. “Oh, how impolite of me! Please do come in. You must be drenched.” (Crowley just lost her job selling cosmetics to bored rich housewives. Aziraphale is a bored rich bastard in want of a nanny for the neighbor kid he has to babysit. It's a right place, right time situation. Right people, too.)

The Art of Human Nature by IneffableDoll (T, 6k) Crowley is a painter who has only ever had an eye for nature. That is, until a client named Aziraphale commissions her for a painting to boost her self-confidence, and Crowley discovers that her client is as beautiful as the Earth itself. Then she goes and catches feelings, because she’s a disaster. The Colour of Hope and Sin by TawnyOwl95 (E, 7k) Crowley has never felt so pretty. Tonight he can do anything. Having Aziraphale Eastgate, the best defender that St. Beryl's School football team had ever seen, cross Crowley's path again is a chance to test that theory. And maybe they can both work out some latent teenage angst at the same time? A Stable Relationship by MirjamOmens (E, 9k) Crowley used to be one of the best eventing riders of the UK. After one unfortunate fall that crushed his leg, he ends his career and starts coaching other promising athletes. Aziraphale is a riding instructor, handling the school ponies and teaching the beginners. For the past six months they have found themselves in a sort of arrangement. It’s just friendship… and sex, whenever their schedules happen to align. It's nothing more than that, right?

Every Part of Me by foolishlovers (T, 10k) Heartthrob rockstar Antonia Harmonia, better known as Anthony J. Crowley offstage, has safeguarded his singing career from his best friend and long-term crush, Aziraphale, for nearly two decades. But when Aziraphale stumbles upon Crowley’s secret at one of his concerts, Crowley is suddenly confronted with unexpected consequences. Could the best of both worlds be within his reach? A Hannah Montana AU. I'm Beginning to See the Light by ineffabildaddy (E, 15k) There was Crowley - the paragon of cool, the overlord of apathy, breezing easily through each and every one of their exchanges and giving no fucks while doing so; then there was the anachronistic, cloying Aziraphale, trying and failing not to live life like a Thomas Hardy protagonist, and giving many fucks indeed. Or: Aziraphale has quite the pash on his colleague Crowley, who seems resolutely disinterested in him. As their annual Christmas party progresses, it appears that Crowley may not be as disinterested as Aziraphale first thought.

Fifteen Years of Heartache by mondlichtmaus (T, 20k) Crowley was roused from his nap by the sound of somebody opening the door. He didn't move. Maybe they would go away. "Excuse me?" someone called. They weren't going away. Crowley rose, lifting his head to squint at the intruder. A broad figure, silhouetted by the light of the hallway. He couldn't make out his face, eyes still bleary from sleep. Just a halo of light framing his head. "What?" Crowley grumbled. There was a moment of silence, then the intruder spoke again. "Anthony?" They're teachers. They're in love. They're oblivious.

Just Up the Stairs by foolishlovers, ineffabildaddy, omens_for_ophelia (E, 39k) On Valentine's Day, amidst the chaos of handling work and university deadlines as a mature student, Crowley seeks solace with his neighbour Aziraphale. As they share a meal, their long-standing friendship begins to unravel, revealing hidden feelings they've harboured for six months. It's a night that could change everything. Black and White Sunshine by Azira_Amane (E, 58k) "The cotton capital. The Second Summer of Love, the Haçienda. Irwell, Medlock, Irk and Mersey. Elizabeth Gaskell wrote her novels in a lovely little house. Oh. There’s so much to know…" Aziraphale East is, by his own account, a bit of an odd duck - and he's okay with that. He's always been happy in his own skin, in having been a confirmed bachelor his whole life. Everything changes on a work trip from London to Manchester, where he meets the vivacious and stunningly attractive Anthony Crowley. Like the splitting of the atom, Aziraphale is divided - and begins to wonder if it's not too late for love after all. Age, as they say, is but a number.

Tales of Turning Pages by foolishlovers (E, 73k) Every Tuesday, aspiring romance novelist Anthony J. Crowley pays a visit to his local library and the charming angel working there. Every Tuesday, Aziraphale Fell finds himself more and more intrigued by the curious stranger who turns his orderly life as a small-town librarian upside down.

[you can find more fic rec masterposts here]

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! Thanks so much for running this blog!! I was wondering if you guys knew of any good arranged marriage fics between them? Preferably with some initial angst that’s later resolved? No worries if not! Thanks so much!

Hey. We have an #arranged marriage tag, so check that out. Here are more to add...

Wicked dance by pirripipi (T)

The kingdom of Heaven and the kingdom of Hell have been at war with each other more times than all of the rest of the lands combined. Mostly due to the fact they hate each other. Therefore when the wedding of the century is announced. An union meant to bring peace. An arranged marriage between Crowley, the youngest heir of Hell, and Aziraphale, the youngest prince of Heaven… they know something is just not right.

Someone by Diminua (M)

This was a kinkmeme prompt and as usual I can't do better than to paraphrase the OP : Aziraphale is a frumpy, middle aged man, who's closing in on 50 : he's spent his entire life alone, mistreated by his family, and living like a modern times hermit in his familiar, reassuring bookshop. He thinks it's too late for passion. But he hopes that, maybe, he could find a companion for his latter days. Crowley has spent his entire life having a wild time: parties, sex, rock n roll, all that jazz. He flew through the 80s, the 90s, the new millennium like a car on fire. He thought he had time, thought he'd be young and surrounded by people forever, thought with fling after fling after fling, someone would find him. Someone would look at him and choose him. But no one ever did. To paraphrase (again) - they turn to an arranged marriage company. And they fit..

third law of thermodynamics by astrhae (M)

“As you may know,” Muriel started, “as a human police officer, I can unobtrusively monitor your marriage without raising suspicion.” Yes. What? Aziraphale stared. “Marriage?” “On whether it’s being,” Muriel hesitated, eyes cast up as they searched for the right word, “consummated properly.” ------------- Or, after the Antichrist cancels Armageddon, Heaven and Hell come up with a peace treaty. Traditionally, treaties involve a marriage between representatives of each side. It goes about as well as you might expect.

Match Made on Earth by ineffable_snowman (M)

The archangels receive a divine message that an angel and a demon must marry on Earth. No one really wants to do it. So why not send the angel who was responsible for the flaming sword fiasco?

Duty and Desire by Purple_Rose_Writes (M)

A Regency-Era GO Omegaverse Human AU Aziraphale Heavens has resisted taking a mate, but when the family hits hard times, he has no choice. His fears about being mated to an alpha he's never met are only heightened when Alpha Anthony Crowley is rather non-traditional. Is he doomed to a life of abuse and mistreatment? Or is there more to Crowley than meets the eye?

Married at First Sight by Aracloptia (T)

“Well, that was a thing,” Crowley said once they were out of earshot. Without talking about it, they were both heading down the field, towards the lake where the photographer (and likely a few more people from the TV crew) was waiting. “That was a wedding,” Aziraphale replied, surprised at his own annoyance that somebody called a wedding a ‘thing’. “Yeah, obviously, didn’t miss that part,” Crowley said with a shrug, and waved abruptly in Aziraphale’s general direction. “Neither did you, from the looks of it, since you’re dressed like a wedding bride and everything.” “Excuse me, I am a—“ Aziraphale stopped himself, and started over. In which Aziraphale ends up marrying a rude stranger who wears sunglasses.

- Mod D

[azulsluver]

I'm assuming this was already talked about/mentioned in your posts but I do kinda wonder how awful it would be for reader during holidays and general breaks from school (bully au). Like- They would either be COMPLETELY isolated since they can't technically go home since this ain't even their world and everyone hates them, or they would have to deal with their bullies every. Single. Day. Which is hilarious to me because I can see at least some of them staying even though they were supposed to go home and rest and enjoy their break from school, so prefect just asks "Why are you even here tormenting me bro?! Don't you have a family" and the bullies have to come up with excuses to save their egos

I sometimes do go in depth detail on where reader lives within twisted wonderland because I tend to stray near canon lore. Options are that they completely have ramshackle as their home or Crowley in the kindness of his heart buys a place for them within the island (it’s close to the school just in the woods hidden deep)

tw: yandere, bully!characters, mentions of bruises/blood and vomit, force feeding/throwing up, unhealthy relationships, stalking.

(College setting)- there are other students that are staying during breaks but let’s be real no one’s gonna help you

The only major holiday that has the NRC students leaving was winter break, spring and summer. Here’s my take on each. Not proof read btw!

Winter: Azul, Jade And Floyd

No surprise to canon, but their excuse to stay during break is nightmare fuel for you. You can’t run away because that only peruse Floyd and Jade to chase you down. Azul pretends to not see the abuse you’re going through. In fact he feels less occupied when the twins set their eyes on you. There is no best scenario because you should be used to Floyd coming into your room at random times.

Quote on quote, “best break ever” is exaggerated greatly whenever Floyd gets his hands on you. You’re wheezing like a dying fish as he asks you if you’re ok. Knowing it’ll piss you off but you’re on the verge of death so it pisses you off even more.

I think staying with Floyd is the better option but it REALLY depends, Jade gets a little quirky at night. Waking up on a table and strapped as he gives you shot after shit of who knows what into your system. Pretty unhinged as it’s in the dead of night and it’s freezing cold. More stoic when performing these things. Jade never gets the chance or time to do this to you so that’s off his bucket list.

Azul stuffs himself in his room all day. Only going out for a jog as he looks the other way as you’re being dragged off while clawing on the floor. It’s too early for that okz. But he’s gonna tire from your screaming and crying so he grudgingly let’s you stay in his room whenever the twins are out to hunt you down.

That’s only if you are being too much of a nuisance to him^^

Because you’re involved in the subject of his problems he gets more snappy with the twins when they try to barge into his room. Lecturing them and often times loudly making deals to lend you to them because you’re so much work. He doesn’t tho. Like a father who never wanted a dog, he tends to your needs with a sneer and turn. Does this mean you’re staying in his room the whole break? Yes. Can you try to leave? Yes. Will Azul call you ungrateful and manipulate you that the twins will bother you again. Yes.

Slumber party!!! Floyd’s idea btw. Victim of every losers downfall, getting slapped and punched whenever Floyd loses a board game. Hands nearly breaking because Jade is too cool to show anger so he takes it out on you as a joke. Azul winning said games.

Floyd WILL suffocate you in your sleep on purpose. Slumber parties with him are never a good idea because any chance to scare you he takes it. Going to the bathroom? What a coincidence he’s awake and on the side of the wall behind the door you’re leaving. Waking up? He’s staring deep into your soul just so you can cry and roll away.

Wanna talk about you staying in Azul’s room because he lets you sleep on his bed (wow omg luxury bed knocked out ZZZzzz) because he’s doing work on his desk. Often times you wake up to him sleeping on his desk. Give it a week in the break and he’s all over you. His arms in a crushing grip as he holds you in sleep, you feel like it’s forbidden to move because you’re scared he might squeeze harder than Floyd.

This only happened ONCE. Sleeps on the floor and makes dumb excuses like “humans have such odd body temperature it was like an instinct to cuddle something cold.” Or “I hold things a lot when I’m in my merform this is nothing personal.”

Spring: Ace, Epel, Ruggie

Ace and Epel straight up tell you they’re here to have a great spring break together. By that they mean messing with you. These assholes start off slow, egging your dorm, blasting loud music. Anything to get your fatigue up, that way you can start messing things up on accident when it was all purposely set.

The duo are relentlessly pursuing their harassment from day to night, until in a couple of days within the break do things stop. It’s terrifying, walking on eggshells at how they ignore you during walks, opening the door for you, heck even Epel left a basket of apples on your front door. It’s leaving you paranoid and they know it, with their innocent going smiles and tilted heads. You wish you had some form of power to get those two without getting 2v1.

Alright this is where Ruggie comes in the picture. He’s there not by choice, instead paid by Leona to watch over you since Ace has a big mouth about his plans with you.

Ruggie randomly shows up in your dorm. He’s not doing much except making sure you’re eating and not brutally beaten near death. But you can find him grudgingly cleaning the place out of boredom, catching him dusting off shelves after your success in escaping the two. He threatens you out of embarrassment to not think much of it…he just thinks you’re really dirty to leave in such an unkept place.

He does at time chase Ace and Epel off, they don’t seem to bother you much when you’re with him. So you took this to advantage to stick to him like candy. You’ve only had this type of protection with Jack, on the other hand was much more comfortable to hang around with besides the deadpan stares.

Your safe haven can only be kept for so long, once money is involved. Ruggie is counting the wad of cash by the side as the two nudge your head with their foot. Ace blames you for making the last three days of their break boring, you should’ve known better than to run off when things were getting good. Didn’t you know good pal Epel prepared some fine treats for you? (Don’t eat them).

It’s no use crying for help, Ruggie can only shrug his shoulders and tell the two not to kill you before walking away. Your last bits of hope destroyed as Epel smacks the back of your head a couple of times, saying you must be brain dead so they’ll help you out. You’re really starting to miss Jack, as apple slices are being shoved into your mouth, Ace repeatedly thrusting three fingers down your throat to making you vomit. You’re delirious when hung upside down from a tree, the two taking turns hitting you blindfolded with a bat, luckily it’s wooden but the pain still blows.

You’ll be ruffled up with a pat in the head as Ace blows smoke in your face, telling you that you did good. Epel is more enthusiastic after all that, pinching at your blood socked nose to stop the bleeding. The two are joyous and leave by throwing a couple of dollars your way. Just looking at it makes you sick as you sob on the floor, seeing Ruggies shoes.

Sobbing on the way home with Ruggie by your side, staring off into the distance whilst ignoring your loud wails. You know it annoys him but he doesn’t say anything until the door closes, he’s lazily patching up your open wounds and dabbing them with a clean cloth. Giving you medicine—if you refuse to take them he will force you. You can only conceal your sniffles by rubbing your eyes and blowing your nose with tissue. Ruggie has his back turned as he tells you to do better. If you keep it up you’ll die sooner or later at this rate. So take it as a lesson to build character.

You can’t help but agree, maybe it was the medicine taking place. But you gruffly settle down with him, he’s sitting besides you with a empty look on his face. You cant tell why he’s staring at your beaten body like some interesting figure but you preferred it like this. Dropping your head on his shoulder as you rest, because you know he’s gonna let it happen all over again.

Might as well take his advice.

Summer: Sebek, Silver, Malleus, Lilia

This was all Malleus. His idea 100%. He’d rather not spend his break staying in his enclosure with running maids and fearing fae. Instead he’d prefer is the one fearing was coming from you. And since Malleus had decided to spend his break by bothering you Silver and Sebek have no choice but to come along.

Sebek is absolutely furious once he finds out the reason Malleus wanted to stay in campus was to see you. You! Out of everyone!!! There are times where Malleus must leave campus to attend his princely duties, leaving Sebek having the opportunity to get his hands on you. By that he’s choking the shit outta you until you’re blue. He doesn’t wanna be here with YOU, now he’s stuck babysitting you. Thankfully Silver is there to prevent Sebek from successfully killing you.

You cling onto Silver like he’s your last hope. He can only do so much when Sebek is frothing at the mouth because he has the “audacity” to step in the punishments that are so rightfully placed on you. Like come on man what would Malleus think?

Malleus is into it. Tells Silver that if you ever step out of line it’s only right for him to put you back in place, physically. Silver can only stand back with a frown, not too much to displease Malleus.

Lilia comes in later, he’s wondering where his sons went. He comes at a weird timing, you’re being examined because Malleus is interested in all the marks you’ve received. It’s amazing how you’re still alive, with a kind of your own as well. Lilia won’t do much rather than spectate Malleus’s adventures with you, rather than indulging in his desires he stands by the side to make sure Malleus nor Sebek won’t go too far. They may not listen to Silver but they certainly will to him.

If you want to be left COMPLETELY alone it can only be at night with curtains over your windows. Forbid the many times you’ve shit your pants in the middle of the night to see Malleus looming over your window. Be it sleeping or walking to the kitchen he’s dead staring. For some good reason he doesn’t throw much of a fit when you use the curtains to hide from his prying eyes.

You might think Lilia is off the hook of finally leaving you alone then you’re dead wrong! Standing by the side, yea more like giving more advice to Malleus and Sebek on how to properly punish you. Back in his days punishments were something else, since you’re human they gotta go on the low. So if Lilia felt like it he can just tell them some unique and grotesque ways to get you drooling and screaming like some pig.

Silver will be there after they’re done, being told to get you cleaned up and ready for the next trick. You really don’t wanna know, but you’re silent during your healing process, he feels bad yet doesn’t voice his opinions on it.

Oh and they almost carved a sick tattoo of dragon wings on your back but Sebek suggested that he use his sword to do it and you passed out from the thought. Not your first rodeo but you know damn well none of them will be putting you on meds during the whole thing.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

It's Valentine day, and some fan service when Crewel daughter lost a bet and wearing a bunny outfit that hugs her curvs bit too well ( think of Jessica Rabbit level of sexy ) and all confident of her body as she sings on stage for them

All the boys reaction seeing both display and the show

I'm not doing all of them

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Valentines Performance | Yandere TWST x Crewel Daughter Reader

First and foremost Crewel’s daughter never loses a bet

But charity does look good on her record so she’d do it

Heck you might even suggest it

“What? I know from my head to my toes that I’m practically irresistible. Of course you’d want me to be the main performance.”

You wouldn’t do it for just some boys wishing to ogle you for their own desires

That would be of no benefit to you

In fact, you’d force Crowley to pay

Who in turn forces your admirers to cough up a significant amount

But if you’re going to go through the trouble of dressing up and performing it will be for a good cause and for a good paycheck

So many lonely, sad people on such a day is something a princess shouldn’t ignore

If you have curves than great but even without you’re just as alluring 

But like everything you do it has the boys drooling:

Azul Ashengrotto

He was proud to be apart of the latest cashgrab charity that the school was fundraising

And he was even happier to call upon you under that pretense

Its been years since he’s heard you sing

He can only imagine what its like now 

And with the excuse of being practice he’ll hear the chords you so casually ring out as the charity dinner is mapped out

But only when you’re fully made up and singing does he feel like his investment was truly worth it

“A-a-ah (Y/n) that was–”

“Amazing, I know. I can tell you’re excited but don’t go inking all over the floor before the finale.”

“Y-yeah.”

He really does have to stop himself 

He’s just so enamored 

One day he’ll have to ask trick you into singing a serenade to him

“A mate’s song needs to be, at the very least, decent enough to attract. Naturally, (Y/n) would exceed that, she truly is a prime mate and the only one I’d ever bother chasing after.”

Kalim Al Asim

He loves that you’re scheduled to perform

Money isn’t an object anyway so he’s happy to pad your paycheck and donation

He just loves loves loves anything you do 

You could go outside in a chicken wunzie and sing horribly he’d still fling his money in your direction

But as he watches you appear on stage make up done, dress hugging tight something burns

His cheeks get warm and suddenly his clothes feel too hot to wear

A yearning that Kalim barely acknowledges to dangerous takes over and he’s in a daze for the entirety of the night

Don’t interrupt the performance 

Don’t bother him while he’s watching you sing in that sultry tone

Or you can see what its like when Jamil’s happy to follow Kalim’s orders+

“(Y/n) you should sing more often! Your voice is so beautiful!” 

“Thank you, Kalim.”

“Will you be doing another set? I’d love to play along side you!”

He’ll be replaying your performance in his head for years to come

Always letting a smile come to his face

“Wow I can’t get her voice out of my head! Maybe I should ask her to sing to me everynight!”

Vil Schoenheit

If he isn’t hired himself to join you he’ll donate his talent with a small fee

But to be seen by millions as the most beautiful dream couple 

Neige could never

But ego aside he loves nothing more than performing with you side by side

Brought back to the days you two would make little plays and shows for your fathers to watch 

Now this was just fate in work, wasn’t it

That you two would be preparing a duet that’d have the world talking for weeks 

“Are you ready to delivery our harmony of ecstasy?”

“You know I am. I like your trim by the way.”

“And I yours. Though we both know anything you wear is better than couture.”

For this moment and this moment only will he encourage the hunter to share his recordings

He won’t be able to hear your voice out in the crowd

But it couldn’t compare to the sound of being beside you

As it was always meant to be

“Becoming a duo? Who’s to say? We both have big plans for the future but naturally we’ll be together asitsalwaysbeen.”

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

(Somewhat disorganized thoughts to follow…)

So I’m sitting here thinking about Good Omens, as usual. And I’m wondering. What if Aziraphale hadn’t gone to chat with the Metatron?

Because it’s easy to say “awww yisss there would have been love confessions and kisses and everything would be better.”

But would it?

Because as the great Bildad the Shuhite said, “Nothing has to change.”

If there’s anything this 6000-year slow-burn has shown us, these two are content to remain… not exactly the same, but changing in glacially slow ways (and also not really content, but they’ll fucking do it anyway).

I think watching Gabriel and Beelzebub go off together got them both to realize that things could be different. But would that be enough to get them talking? Or would they have just gone off to their alcoholic breakfast, made a few jokes about whatever the hell’s just happened, then wind up back at the shop drunkenly talking about dolphins and bird space ships again, the needle on their relationship barely moved? And stay that way until the Second Coming finally arrived to shake things up?

Because it’s not a question, really, of them realizing something or revealing something. They both know.

Crowley knows what he wants, but he’d rather spend the next thousand years scowling from the sidelines and watching his angel be a happy idiot than actually put his feelings into words.

And Aziraphale—well, he has ideas, more than we give him credit for, he isn’t wholly oblivious, but his ideas are happy little dream worlds he can play out in his mind. He’s waiting for a better deal—not better than Crowley, obviously, but better than the precarious balance they currently exist in. A perfect shiny happy ending where everything is Good and Nice. And he’s willing to wait basically forever, just thinking about how nice it will be when it happens.

They need nudges. They need excuses. Especially Aziraphale. He sets up this whole ball for Nina and Maggie (partially) so he can ask Crowley to dance for the first time, but he’s there every day! You can just ask him to dance any time! He still denies having a “special” person to amnesia Gabriel. He doesn’t remember anything! Literally everyone in Heaven and Hell and also Earth think you’re an item now anyway! Just say the words!

The nudge for him was the Metatron’s offer. Taking charge of Heaven. Crowley at his side. They can make the Good guys truly Good. No one to question whether they belonged together. Happy ending.

Crowley’s nudge, of course, was Nina and Maggie telling him to goddamn say something. And I don’t think any of them realize it, but that had to be his conversation. If the two ladies had come over and talked to Aziraphale the same way (solo), he’d throw all his defenses back up and that would have been the end of it. If they’d talked to angel and demon together, well. These two are idiots. Aziraphale and Crowley would have refused to take the conversation seriously, talked circles around their guests, and left for their breakfast, laughing together over those humans and their ideas.

So for Crowley to get his nudge, he had to be alone when they visited, and for that to happen, Aziraphale had to go have his talk with the Metatron. Aziraphale had to get a perfect enough option to overcome his anxiety, and for that he needed his chat.

Now, am I saying that without the Metatron’s interference they never ever would have moved forward? Maybe. They’re complete idiots, your honor.

Maybe not, though. As I said, they just watched another angel and demon go off together. Would that be enough for Crowley to realize that, hey, actual communication sometimes has good results? Would that be close enough to a perfect ending to assuage Aziraphale’s fears?

I don’t know if we can say for sure. But I’ve been trying to play out that last scene in the bookshop differently to find where the path to the happy ending was, and I think this is the answer. Aziraphale needed to not go to the Metatron at all. They needed to be on their way before Nina and Maggie decided to visit. And then… somewhere in the talking and drinking that followed, one of them would have to take a risk.

And like, have you met these two? They’d be dooooooomed…

[sharkboywrites]

"You're Just a Boy, You Are No Man, And Nobody You Know Will Understand"

Twst staff finding out stealth ftm reader is trans (platonic)

Reader is a trans man and implied to pass, misgendering, mentions of dysphoria and periods

A/N: Back with a part two to this post after the poll came out mostly positive. I really love the staff taking on a parental role to Yuu/player, its just so sweet.

Dire Crowley

Getting teleported to twisted Wonderland was a very difficult experience, and of first the first person you met, and the one causing most of the problems for you, was Crowley. As the headmage of the school, he had to do something with you and generally take care of you. it was only a matter of time before you had to tell him the truth.

This doesn't mean you avoided the inevitable conversation as much you could. You were able to go a few weeks without running into an issue, that being the dreadful natural process that comes once every month.

While you could run to Sam, there was the small issue of the right clothes to wear, after all boxers won't really cut it in this situation, so unfortunately you had to go to Crowley for the right things to wear.

It was definitely an uncomfortable situation , sitting in Crowley's office, having to explain the situation to him. He was also, clearly, made a bit uncomfortable by the situation, but as headmage of the school, it was his job to provide you with what you needed.

you could already sense that dreaded feeling coming in the back of your throat as you explained. You really didn't want to cry in front of him, it was embarrassing, but there was really nothing you could do to stop it. In all honesty, Crowley doesn't know how to react in this situation, he's not really good with comforting and all that, so he isn't sure what to do once you get up and leave once the conversation, tears threatening to pour from your eyes.

You do find the next day, however, the clothes you requested, although you're decently sure he made a guess on the sizing, and a small chocolate bar. A small note sat with the items, reading "You've been excused of all chores for this week, take the break you need". Truly a bird dad at heart, even when he's not good with the talking part.

Divus Crewel

While Crewel can be seen as, well, cruel, he's taken a liking to you as you've made your way into Night Raven College. Now obviously he hadn't thought much of Crowley, knowing he did the bare minimum keeping you at the school, but he didn't expect this.

Other than your school uniform and the clothes you showed up in, you really didn't have anything else to wear, and he was not having it. Of course once he found out he dragged you to the nearest clothing store. Caught up in his anger and disappointment with Crowley, he didn't see how nervous you actually were about getting new clothes.

It wasn't until you had to make decisions did he pick up on your hesitation. he was a bit pushy with trying to get you to pick out things, but it wasn't until it came to trying thing on he realized just why you were so hesitant about this whole thing. It really all had clicked the moment you had to actually try things on, but he had reassured you that everything was fine and took a different approach.

He started to prioritize clothes that would make you feel comfortable over the ones he thought looked fashionable, although don't doubt for a second fashion won't still be considered.

Once you're all done you've got a new wardrobe and Crewel understands you a lot better. After this there's very clear favoritism once in the classroom now, which Ace will complain about until the day he dies. But that's alright, it's worth it to put with the complaining now that Crewel's you're new dad figure who's willing to do anything to make you feel comfortable with the other boys

Mozus Trein

Out of all the staff at Night Raven College, professor Trein is the most of a dad, quite literally, after all he had three daughters. Because of this, he can pick up on those small things that make you different from the other male students at Night Raven College. While he had his assumptions, he never outright said anything. He decided it was none of his business, and that if you wanted him to know, you would come to him instead.

it was during one of his classes that he noticed you seemed really uncomfortable. Not just uncomfortable physically, but mentally. It looked like you were ready to burst into tears with one wrong move. When class ended, he told you to stay after.

In that moment it felt like everything had gotten so much worse. Had you messed up? Were you in trouble? That's really not something you could handle right now. but to your surprise, he asked if you were alright instead.

You couldn't help when you started to cry a bit at that moment, although you did your best to hold back as much of it as you could. this caught him off guard, he didn't want you to cry. After reassuring you that it was alright, you explained to him what was going on. You told him how you were trans, how you were trying so hard to hide it, and how dysphoria had really been eating away at you ever since you got there.

Fortunately, when raising his own daughters Trein had to comfort them plenty, so he was able to calm you down enough to once again reassure you that everything would be alright. He told you that if you had any issues, to come to him and that he wouldn't tell anyone if you didn't want to. if you wanted the rest of staff to know, he'd help you slowly come out.

After that, he's very attentive to you in class, always making sure you seem alright. He really just wans you to be okay, even if he doesn't know that much about being queer. he starts to see you as one of his kids, and he wants to protect and help you in any way he can.

Ashton Vargas

Out of all the teachers you weren't very exited to learn about your identity, it was Vargas. He's like the average intimidating man that you're not sure if you want him to know you're queer. his reaction would either be super supportive, or he'd be the most transphobic person you'd ever met. teaching gym, it was inevitable that he would eventually find out you were trans.

When it came to locker rooms, it was really a challenge. there was no way you could change with the rest of the guys, they'd figure it out in seconds, and no you can't get out of changing for gym. So you had to go to Vargas to ask if there was somewhere else you would be able to change. Of course, he made you explain. it wasn't in a mean way, but he wants to push every student to being the best version of themselves, and being too scared to change in a locker room was not going to help that, a least according to him.

So, you had to tell him. You explained to him that you were trans and not only were you not comfortable changing with the rest of the boys, it would be unsafe for you if in the room with the wrong person. he's very taken aback by this. he probably isn't the type of teacher to think about students being queer, not in a homophobic way, just not something he generally thought about. So he offered to let you use one of the bathrooms nearby, as long as you didn't tell anybody about it.

This does not mean, however, that he'll suddenly go easy on you. you're still expected to do the same exercises as the rest of the boys. you are a boy and therefore will be pushed just as hard as the rest of them. Sorry, no getting out of that one. Vargas doesn't really see you any differently. You're still one of his students and need to be pushed to your limits, no matter how much you may dislike it. In fact, this makes him even harder on you. he's strict about making sure you don't exercise in a binder and gives you work outs that would make you more physically masculine.

So congratulations, you're given even more work than all the other students, but it's in good intentions from Vargas.

Sam

In the end, it was inevitable that you would also have to go to Sam at some point. I mean those period products aren't gonna buy themselves. Even though it wasn't really an ideal situation, Sam seemed like the person who'd you'd rather come out to than everyone else.

He's a bit odd, but he doesn't seem like the type to be judgmental, although he might bug you a little bit about it, not in a mean way though, the way he does to everybody. He's a bit of a sassy guy and that isn't going to stop for you.

When you first ask if he has anything that could help, he simply laughs. yes, it's an odd request that he wasn't expecting, but of course he has some. In fact, he even has enough for you to pick out a preferred size of whatever it was that you wanted.

he doesn't tell anyone if you don't want him to, although when you show up, with friends or not, he'll make a few sly jokes about it. Not enough to out you, just enough to let you know that he knows, and it doesn't bother him at all.

this took me a lot longer than I thought I would, probably because I kept goofing off and getting on my phone instead of writing. I feel like Sam's part is really short but at this point I'm pretty tired and need a hot chocolate lol. ty for reading and have a nice day <3

[juno-of-wonderland]

mc/reader that rescues homeless animals

Ramshackle Dorm is always so empty, just Grim and you, so what's the harm in adopting that kitten that shows up? well, it turns out that every animal in need that showed up at school ended up in the dorm, turning it into a secret shelter.

- it was going to start really small, like a bird that got hurt and you took care of it until it got better, the little one was so grateful that he always comes to visit getting a kiss on the head, or even a poor stray cat that was hungry and you gave him a little from Grim's tuna, which made you hear a lot of complaints about him

- things happen to get out of control without realizing it, you bring animals there, some stay, others leave, but they come back with more friends and now you have a house full of pets that love you very much!

- Grim would try to turn them into his army, only the minority would take him to be, for them the leader is you, not Grim

- and of course, the secret doesn't last forever

one day you had a puppy hidden in your clothes, practically running back to Ramshackle, you don't notice and bump into someone, they both fall.

“s-so-sor…” Idia's excuses die when the puppy appears in front of him smiling and wagging its tail, belatedly you realize you've let go, the puppy climbs into Idia's belly and fills it with licks, the boy with the flaming hair was clearly dying of love, that You get a chuckle out of him, having Idia's attention, he seems to want to ask you something, but you just offer him to hide the pup in your coat and go with him, he reluctantly accepts.

when they arrive at their destination, Idia covers her face as he freaks out, kittens rub against his legs and purr, dogs calling to play and curious birds around him, that was cute, very cute, you ask Idia if he want to comb them while you you're going to feed some, he nods and you hand over the toothbrush, congratulations! you just got a helper.

- Ace and Deuce were next, but this time you told them and they came to help, even taking some out of their pockets for rations

- Jack shows up one random day, asking why there are always so many different smells here, you show him everything and the dogs love him, being strong, you ask for help to bathe some of the animals, he accepts as a good friend, he comes from time to time while

- Epel and Sebek come to the same day offering a study session, when one of the animals pushes the door and you are forced to open it, that day you had a lame deer at home, Epel did not stop staring at it

- when Crowley finds out, you need to use all the cards up your sleeve not to dispossess them, we even have people coming to adopt now! but you make a point of not handing it over to just anyone and to a rigid adoption registration system

- bonus: Crewel adopt the dalmatians you had

[cat1705]

I’m actually a really Girly Girl….

I always thought of this if I was Mc I would dress as sloppy and messy. you get my point on purpose even if Crowley gave us a good enough of money to live on because it’s all boys school I would not feel comfortable with getting “all ready” knowing how boys are and especially it would be worse since Mc it only girl at the school I would make it my mission to not get male “attention” and this is where Mc plays in.

Mc is a really girly girl but since she the only girl and wanting male “attention” dress that way on purpose even after Crowley gave them more than enough of money to live on after much s from the staff and to him t mc switch dorms instead of the her living in the Ramshackle dorm( s don’t think enough on last one they just wanted Mc to live comfortably) so here we are Crowley made Mc switch dorm to Pomefiore knowing vil has eyes on everybody in is dorm ( he didn’t choose Heartslabyul Dorm because he knows her and friends would make a lot more trouble than they already do ) .

(Also this takes place after book 5 )

( this one has been in my drafts for a long time)

“This is where you and grim will be staying at” vil showing her room. “Any questions?”

“Yes who will be my roommate? because I know the other student have roommate besides the dorm leader and the vice president” Mc laying down her box’s from Ramshackle.

“Your not getting any roommates I would not let that happen because your the only girl in this school and plus I can’t only imagine the amount of drama would happen with that, it’s only you and grim no one else” vil .

A sigh of relief “ Oh, thank you so much I was so worried about the roommates situation” mc.

“ don’t mention, I will let you finish unpacking if you have any other questions or need any help come to me or rook for instance, now if you will excuse me I have dorm duty to do now” vil.

“Oh go ahead, I have things handled here” Mc smiles at vil .

“Will ok I will get going now” vil leave

Inside of Mc mind, “I’m so lucky that I didn’t get any roommate I couldn’t imagine the amount of creeps I would have but I’m more scared of living here then Ramshackle, I don’t think I’m going survive here with living with the guys, no no I should think positive my living conditions is better plus vil wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me especially if it makes his reputation look bad” Mc shakes her head “no no I shouldn’t think of him that way of course he cares for his friends more then his reputation but are we really friends? we haven’t talked that much sense the SDC, no I shouldn’t think of anything negative I should just think positive i going to look around the room ” looks around the room “wow I just realized how big is the room”.

“ I even have my own bathroom and the closet is petty big too I can just imagine all of cute outfits and dresses I could put in here but I can’t sense I live in all boy school and I don’t want guys attention” Mc sigh . “well I guess it also makes sense since the dorms room were design for multiple people to live in here ”.

“Well I should go to Ramshackle to see if grim has all his stuff packed”.

In the morning (time skip becomes I’m lazy)

‘Beep.’ beep.’ ‘bee- SLAM’ “ugh morning” Mc mutter to herself, Mc get up and rubs her eyes “I should get ready” goes to restroom and starts brushing her teeth and finish floss and mouthwash and put her uniform, goes to bed here is grim sleeping at . “GRIM GET UP !!! And get ready for school!!.”.

“5 more minutes henchmen” grim cover his head with the blanket. “ no grim it’s time to get ready for school”. “ ugh fine I’m getting up now” grim start stretching like a cat . “Now go bush your teeth” Mc.

“I know henchmen you don’t need to remind me” grim go to restroom and mc wanting for grim to finish so they can leave.

Vil come to mc room to see how are they doing so far in Pomefiore and rook and epal came with vil because they also wanted to see how is she doing. ( epal didn’t even that mc transferred to Pomefiore he just find out that morning besides rook he knew that Mc transferred to Pomefiore).

“Mc how are doing so far-“ shook, vil looking up and down at mc is that really how you are going out today?!!!”.

“yessss?” Mc says nervous looks at vil and notice that rook and epal are also there. “ hey rook and epal”

“Don’t change the subject you are not going out like that” vil comes to Mc and touches Mc face “look at your face is dry also you have little bit of acne and hair is a mess your hair looks a little bit damaged and- ”vil

“Ok ok I get it you don’t need to tell me everything that wrong with my looks ok I known”Mc looks way embarrassed.

“What do you mean you know? What are doing this in purpose?” Vil Saying this sarcasm.

“Maybe” Mc looks down not watching to look at vil in the face.

“mon cher why would you too that ?”rook looks shocked

“I’m confused too, how would do you that ? Epal

“ ok tell me why are doing this purpose”vil

“Will it not really not purpose it just ever since I came I just really stop caring how I look i mean I first I dress didn’t have a choice because I other things I need to take care of but now since my living conditions are better and Crowley gives me more now, I just really don’t want boys attention it would make life worse and it worse since I’m the only girl here at school and teenagers boys knowing how they are doesn’t really mix well for me also back home I did care of how I look, I was really girly girl I did my skin care, makeup, clothes, my hair of course I really love doing that but now I don’t really feel safe doing that here I mean I felt more safe being in the Ramshackle then here but don’t get me wrong living here is better but I don’t feel comfortable with living with the guys here”.

“ I see now but you don’t have to worry about that I will make sure you are safe and I’m petty sure the drom leader feels the same way and we all care you about not that you got the teacher stuff to help you too” vil

“Vil is right, Mon cher we will be there for you” rook

You also got us first years to help you too” epal

“Thank you guys so much ” Mc

“Don’t mention it now let’s go get you a whole wardrobe of clothes and other things” vil looking down at Mc

“Yes please” Mc says exactly

————————————————————————

Posted on October 11, 2024

Fanfic 5

[drconstellation]

Being Kind To One Another

So I was watching through S1 again the other day for something, and you know how little things stand out to you that sometimes you didn't notice before. Like word puns that just fly past so quickly. Then one day the meta-brain inside suddenly goes "wait-wot! That was a repeated word!" and leaps upon it. yeah, you don't ignore stuff that in Good Omens.

So what did I hear repeated?

Kind.

One word. Three meanings.

Oh, come now, we can't just have one or two meanings with it. This is Good Omens, after all. The more that can be stuffed into it the better. And all of it works.

To start, we have the pun with the goats in the Flood scene, during the cold opening of Ep3, Hard Times.

Kids. Children. You can't kill children. Yep. Just warming you up here. Actually, its a bit of a theme in Good Omens, avoiding the slaughter of innocents, but we are getting a bit off track. Here is next bit:

[And because I cannot find the GIF to go with it] Crowley replies sarcastically:

"How kind."

oh. Oh. Geddit? No? Well, you might be excused, because it's actually doing a cross-over job with the next time period scene, at Golgotha, and it's one of those puns that you can really only understand going backwards.

On the one hand, we have the German meaning for kind which is "child," but we also need to introduce the third meaning for kind.

Remember this exchange?

We can take the kind here to be "thoughtful and caring," but you could also use another meaning for kind - as in like kind, or all belonging together, as in a family. So, be like family to each other.

Oh, yeah. Considering how some families are to each other that would definitely get some people upset.

Please, won't you consider the children?

I explain the other pun with the demon names here.