#Credit card companies hate everyone and do not want us to be happy etc etc

[deliciousliving]

Reminder to upload your fics to ao3 because tumblr will not keep them safe, 18+ content is increasingly being labeled as immoral on the internet no matter how vanilla it is. Ao3 has options to post a fic anonymously/"orphan" fics if you're paranoid/embarrassed about your identity. People who run internet archives are doing the lords work and deserve everything etc etc.

[madfantasy]

I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

[selfmadesuperhero]

i’m very much not okay 

and i’ll probably take very long for me to explain why

i don’t know how to write this. i don’t know where to even start. i’m here because i just don’t have anywhere else to go. i can’t afford therapy. i no longer have any close friends other than Mabu (gf).

it’s getting pretty bad inside my head

i know most people’s lives are hell this year and i’m not special. i know that. to me, this year is feeling like the last nail in my coffin because 2019 had already chewed me up and spit me out. 

i kept my last job for eight years. after my first year there, another developer came in, and we became friends. we worked side by side less than 4 feet apart for six years. our hours were flexible but we always agreed upon our schedule just so work would be more bearable, because we both hated it and often had to team up against our boss’ downright abuse. it was a very small company (at its biggest we were only 7 employees). we were also going to graduate at the same time from the same school (different majors), so we had a bit of a pact to leave our shitty boss once we���d graduated and start developing our own, way less shitty games.

at the start of 2019, he got an excellent job offer. i was thrilled for him and told him to of course get out of that hellhole we hated so much, we were only there because the pay was decent and the hours were flexible so we could get our degree, you know? it stung, but i was happy for him. on the last day i gave him a ride home (which is also something i did almost daily), he surprised me by hugging me and telling me i was like a brother to him and our plans weren’t going to change. 

i believed him, and went back to work. he was soon replaced, obviously, by a junior developer because that’s how capitalism works. but suddenly, i no longer had someone to take a stand with me against my boss - there was no one left that i knew, everyone had resigned or been fired and i was the oldest employee. you’d think that’d earn me something, after eight years being dedicated to the same company, right? 

(shortly after, my grandma passed, after years and years of agonizing in a wheelchair. we lived together)

fuck that

the first months were fine. i was being the senior developer and teaching the junior constantly, so my boss stayed out of my way. but see, this is where he started to get ansty. the more the junior stopped being a junior and was actually useful for something, the more that piece of gigantic ass just started thinking only about our salaries. i started in that company in 2012 making little more than 3 bucks/hour (remember i live in a third world country, but it was still specialized work), but by 2019, my salary was pretty much double of what the junior was making, and every penny extra i got during those years was a CONQUEST. i also worked six hours while he worked eight, so.

my boss basically started treating me even more like shit. he wasn’t nice to be around before, but he was bearable in small amounts. suddenly it was obvious to everyone that he was really fixating on me and my performance, and to me it was obvious he just wanted me to walk away too so he could replace me with TWO junior developers instead of just one measly charlie. 

then, the nationals elections began. oh boy.

this probably wouldn’t read as news to anyone, but i’m a huge leftie, obviously. if you’re at all interested in politics, read about what socialist policies have done for uruguay during the past 15 years and how they turned us into AT LEAST a developing country, but i digress. 

the people that sat in my office even shared my political views or whatever, but my boss is actually part of the conservative party and started actively campaigning. every time something involving politics happened, he made a point to come barging in the office and telling me and specifically me about it like i was personally running against his party. i actually recorded him once to have proof of him at least screaming at me, so i could check if i was crazy for thinking he had something against me. he frequently called me communist and just mocked my views. if you’re wondering, yes, this is illegal, but nothing happened. 

then, two big things happened at once: we lost the election, and my recently adopted puppy was diagnosed with distemper. yes, it happened on the same that and it’s a day i’ll never forget. 

my girlfriend and i had talked about getting a puppy once we moved in together. we’d named him like two years before it actually happened. we moved in together on may 2019 and on september i found the most precious boy for adoption on facebook and i was innocently all like “oh i’ve had to put rescue dogs for adoption before, let’s give back!”. 

on october 27th, he had a seizure and the vet told us it was likely we’d have to put him down because only 20% of dogs survived, and it was even less for puppies. 

when i went to work, i had to put up with my boss laughing and mocking me for winning the election “against me”. i guess i missed my running for anything?

this post is already too long for me to get into details about my dog’s disease. for months, every day we looked after him constantly. i read everything there was to BE READ about distemper online, spent thousands of pesos on medicine and treatments just in case he had a chance. good news is he did! this is the only positive note in this post. 

it still wasn’t easy. he made us cry at least three times a day. we really thought he was dying, and we’d made the mistake of naming him 2 years before he was even born. we’d taken PERFECT care of him while he was unvaccinated, but the vet told us it was most likely he was already infected before he came home to us. i’d never seen such a small puppy so sick. he hallucinated constantly. if you don’t know, distemper is a neuro/digestive/skin/bone/HELL disease that’s really nasty. he’d have seizures almost daily and poop and pee himself. he stopped being able to control his body other than his two front legs, which he didn’t even have full control of. when he stopped being able to walk, he started crying constantly, it really tore the heart out of my chest

we called another vet, a dog physical therapist, so she’d tell us how we could help him. she told us to make him stand as long as possible, so every time he had a meal, i’d bend down with him and hold his hips - so he’d be able to stand, and slowly gain back some muscle mobility. every day we massaged his legs and flexed his joints, even his tiny toes, so he’d avoid atrophy. and we did it!! as i’m writing this, he’s one year old now, he’s no longer sick even if he’ll carry with him plenty of lifelong sequels, and he walks and runs and barks like the best of them ♥ i wasn’t going to plug anything but if you wanna see his progress, it’s on instagram @hamiltonthefighter

okay, i guess i ended up talking at length about his disease in the end, sorry. his walking again had a price to pay for me: my own back. for two or three months i was bent over this dog, you know? i still can’t get out of bed without help sometimes lol around december it got really bad but i just kept popping pills because joy oh joy, i was doing my thesis and i didn’t really have time or money for anything else. my job was basically paying for our rent, my university classes including the thesis course which was ridiculously expensive, and our dog had given me credit card debt out of desperation (we even had to buy those rubber things used for yoga to place on our floors so he’d have something to use his nails against instead of constantly slipping on the floor, we tried every medication that might help, we gave him CBD oils, all kinds of vitamins, constant vet visits where during the first two weeks he got like three different shots every day, etc)

i’m rambling, and i’m sorry, but i don’t really think anyone will read this. i started this post crying my eyes out and writing about my dog at least has been calming, because even if he’s a drooling mess now, he’s still the same he ever was and i love him very much and he’s sleeping soundly next to me and he’s finally close to fine. 

remember the friend i talked about like half an hour ago? the one that worked with me for six years? nothing changed between us during the first months. for my thesis, i was going to develop a videogame with Mabu, but we were allowed to have external coding help because it was about GameDev, not the actual coding. i knew how to code, obviously, but Nico (the friend, guess we’ll give him a name) was also part of our project so he was gonna help us code so i had more time to focus on art and 3D modelling. the idea was kill two birds with one stone, make something we all liked, mabu and I were going to graduate with it and then we’d keep working on it during 2020 as we’d always always talked about.

by december, even if nico and i still talked regularly, i could tell he had just moved on with his life. he’d said he’d help us, but he was doing his own thesis, so i told him not to worry at that time, our final due date was in february. he asked us to forgive him during december and promised us he’d come back in january to DEVOTE himself to the project. i started coding the project besides working on the art and i was thankfully able to meet all the deadlines, so it was really fine, of course i understood where he was coming from. 

then, on january 7th, Mabu’s grandma passed away. she was scheduled for a heart surgery that supposedly only had 1% risk, and she passed on the table because of a doctor’s mistake. the surgery was here in the capital, but Mabu’s family lives five hours away. she comes from a very big, very loving family, and her grandma (being the mother of five children) was very much the center of it. i also loved her. she’d replaced my grandma the second she passed and every time i saw her she hugged me like i was a lost grandson. 

when my girlfriend called me during her surgery, i immediately left work because i just knew she would be crying if things were okay. this was a nightmare come alive for a family of 20+ people, and most of them were 5 hours away from their own house. my mother in law was (and still is) devastated by the lost of her mother because she was the one to encourage the surgery and she still thinks she killed her. i drove my her, my girlfriend, her sister and her sister’s boyfriend on my mother’s in law van for five hours while they all cried or slept and i had to really, really pinch myself because i was EXHAUSTED but what else could i do? 

logically i missed work the next day. LOGICALLY. i had the service to attend and i was 5 hours away from the office and i didn’t even have my own car with me. i told my boss to discount the day, since i wasn’t entitled to the mourning day by law because it wasn’t my grandma. he didn’t even reply - he almost never talked to me by this point unless it was to berate me for something. i went back to work the day after the service.

now, remember we were doing our thesis and it was due in february? it really wasn’t great timing for anyone to die, but i was trusting Nico’s promise that he’d have more free time and he’d make up for not helping us code sooner. i told him the news about Mabu’s grandma, and then basically had to tell him to say something to her for her loss because he was supposed to be her friend, what the fuck, why aren’t you at least sending her a text.

let’s just say, january wasn’t a great month for Mabu and myself. two weeks after the passing, we still hadn’t had news from Nico. Mabu didn’t even have time to properly mourn because we had to turn our thesis in like, little over a month. i wrote to nico just downright ASKING if he was gonna be able to help us or WHAT, to which he said to me...

he’d never promised anything because he was really busy with his own stuff and he didn’t want to bring it up sooner because he knew Mabu was mourning and things were hard for us at the moment? 

like that’s great pal, thanks for telling me at the last POSSIBLE second you were just dropping out altogether, what the actual fuck? it still baffles me that someone can be so thick headed, but he kept saying he had made no promises and both Mabu and I knew that was a lie and i honestly just couldn’t deal with someone so selfish he couldn’t at least give a heads up sooner

the icing on the cake during the beginning of this year is someone i haven’t even mentined: MY PIECE OF SHIT BROTHER. talking about him may deserve another post, because this is already so long and convoluted and i haven’t even talked about his involvement in my misery during 2019-2020. i’ll try to make the story short if anyone’s still reading this far: 

a lot of years ago, our maternal grandmother moved to uruguay from russia and bought a tiny shitty house here next to my mother’s. my mother still hasn’t talked to me since 2013 because i’m trans, but that’s neither here nor there. i tried to keep in touch with my brother (we don’t share dads so he was no relation with my side of the family), and around 2017 i finally succeeded in making friends with him. or so i thought, clearly. 

that grandmother passed... sometime. i don’t really know because they cut me off. she didn’t speak to me either, she was literally a crazy old nasty woman and i didn’t even care when i heard she’d died, to be honest. she was such a nasty woman, she’d put her tiny shitty house to my and my brother’s name just to keep her own daughter out of the inheritance when she bought it. 

that also meant i was inheriting something for the first time ever, even if it was shitty. BUT my brother had his own fake grandma (the woman who looked after him his whole life instead of our mother) who was very old and frail and asked me if he could house her there. i said yes because again, i didn’t give a shit about the inheritance or the house or anything regarding my mother’s side of the family (other than him obviously), so for years this woman occupied the house. my brother basically took all existing furniture and appliances because he was moving in with a girlfriend and i even loaded up my shitty car with his stuff. all i wanted to inherit was the couch set, which had come all the way from russia and everyone had promised me since i was a wee lad, but he started whining about his fake-grandma not having a living room set and nowhere to sit and i didn’t even live by myself yet so i let them have the fucking couches, too. 

oh boy this is already too long but now i’m too lazy to make a separate post

anyway, sometime during 2019, the woman moved out to an old folks home because she could no longer take care of herself. i immediately asked about the couch set with hope in my heart that it could finally be mine, but my brother told me our mother didn’t want me to have it. 

he wanted to rent the house to make a profit, which sounded good to me because of that dog related credit card debt i talked about. and here’s where you might think i’m not that there in the head, but all my life i didn’t want anything to do with that house until my mother was in the ground - not out of hate but because i thought it was a shitty thing her own mother had done to her, and the inheritance should have been hers. she doesn’t have a degree or a stable job because she’s a russian translator so hey, whatever, they needed it more than i did. but then my brother starting getting ideas about improving the house so we’d make more money, and how we should do it together, and... i think i might have mentioned already why i didn’t exactly have time to redo a house? i was doing my thesis? about to graduate? my boss was constantly on my case? my dog was about to die? 

i helped as much as i could at first, but then december came, and then january, and my brother just kept nagging me about the house like i was purposefuly sitting on my ass doing nothing, because oh every day it’s not rented it’s money lost. no amount of explaining how stretched thin i was seemed to suffice, not even when mabu’s grandma died and nico left us hanging with the thesis and i had less than a month left to code the whole project by myself while ALSO taking care of the art. 

by the end of january, i was so stressed, i called a doctor after a panic attack. he gave me a weeks rest because of my back, because i wasn’t even able to get up without help at that time. it wasn’t much of a rest because i still used that time to sit at the computer and code 15 hours a day at LEAST, but hey. 

it was the first time in 8 years i’d taken medical leave of ANY kind. i didn’t even get medical leave when i got my chest surgery. it happened on a friday and i was back to work the next monday. i’d never skipped more than 2 days of work at best when i had a bad case of the flu or something, but that was it. 

when i went back to work, my boss immediatelly called me to his office. he started berating me about my performance again, bringing graphs comparing the amount of lines of code i’d written next to my coworkers. i didn’t mention this, but the graphic designer had also quit during 2019, so i was also covering that workload and no, that didn’t exactly translate to lines of code. i also had to spend HOURS every day tutoring the junior because he was too much of a cheap shit (didn’t use those words) to hire an experienced developer. i’d even WORKED AS A GRAPHIC DESIGNER FOR MEDIA CONTENT FOR HIS POLITICAL CAREER, EVEN IF IT WAS AGAINST MY BELIEFS AND NOT AT ALL RELATED TO MY JOB. he denied everything. EVERYTHING. he stuck to the narrative that i was just lazy and the proof was i’d just taken AN ENTIRE WEEK because “my back just hurt a little” and i had the audacity to skip work for someone else’s grandmother dying

i’m not exaggerating, i swear to anyone who might be reading this. that day was brutal and i’m still not over it half a year later, i don’t care if that makes me sound like a wuss. i worked eight years of my life in this fucking place. 

this argument lasted for hours, but i kept my head down because i couldn’t afford to lose the job, specially not then. i even apologized for any loss in performance and tried to explain my point of view and what i was going through (which i’d already done to another superior weeks ago anyway). but just when i thought i’d MAYBE be able to keep my head above water, he told me he was denying my the request i’d made to take two weeks of holiday days before the thesis final due date. 

i had already explained everything to him. everything, even nico dropping the team and my having to do everything by myself. i broke down and i told him he was forcing me to leave my job, i’d just have been certified by a doctor and i was asking for leave for SCHOOL (all things that are protected by law here), but he just kept repeating i could either walk away from my job or show up during those two weeks. he just wanted me gone, but he couldn’t fire me right away without having to pay me THOUSANDS because of my seniority (by law). he knew what he was doing to me and he didn’t care about it. he didn’t even let me TOUCH MY COMPUTER, he told me he wasn’t the one pushing me away, that i was doing this to myself, and he’d ask for a lawyer to check my computer for any “inconsistencies in my activity”, even. i really have a hard time just thinking about that day and how utterly humilliating it was. i lost a lot of personal files, because i sat at that desk for eight years and of course i had personal files because sometimes i stayed after hours before going to class. 

imagine for a second a sixty year old man, rich as shit, political candidate, standing in front of a computer, disconnecting the mouse and keyboard so i couldn’t touch it, yelling at me i was doing this to myself and i was losing my job because i had the audacity to ask for two weeks leave to finish my fucking school thesis. 

and yeah, i lawyered up. i didn’t have actual money to AFFORD a lawyer, but mabu’s cousin’s girlfriend was a lawyer and lived one block away and i immediatelly told her everything there was to tell. she brought me to the firm she worked in and they guaranteed me i had a pretty strong case and i was at least gonna be able to walk away with something.

that put things in hold for a while because the “trial” or whatever wasn’t gonna be held until after the thesis, so i tried to forget about it. my boss even owed me my untaken paid vacation days, which i told the lawyers because i was pretty sure he’d just forgot, but i wanted to know if it made a better case against him. they agreed, and i left it at that. 

but you know who was still making my life miserable even when february began and i had less than three weeks to finish our project right? MY SWEET BABY BRO. he was constantly nagging me about having to do all the work himself, like I’D ASKED ANYTHING FROM THAT HOUSE TO BEGIN WITH. but see, the nastier he started getting, the more apparent his lies began to appear. he got nasty to the level where ON THE DAY I WAS TURNING THE PROJECT IN he kept calling me demanding MONEY for stuff he’d paid for the house without checking in with me. i was honestly baffled by his level of selfishness, i was already sleeping three hours a day tops and he expected me to what, paint walls? he was FIERCELY against having to wait for my project to be done even if it was two weeks away and he was asking and asking for money when i’d just told him i’d lost my job without a penny to show for it. nice guy, really. 

suddenly, the following lies became clear: 

 my mother didn’t care if i took the couch set, he told me that because he was moving again and he was planning on taking the couches himself. (he ended up doing just so, too). he lied to me with the thing that hurts me most in the world: my mother hating me. he had even made a joke about it, because my mother had bought a new couch not long ago, and he didn’t “get” why she “didn’t want me to have anything”

 years ago he’d told me he had refinanced a tax debt the house had, and i gave him money for it. now that the house was about to be put up for rent, he pretended that had never happened and suddenly started talking about how we needed to take care of that

 he wasn’t planning on splitting the rent three ways between him, our mother and i. he was gonna keep two thirds, and i later even found out my own mother had given him the idea. 

 then poor mabu confessed to me once, two years ago, she’d wore a skirt one time visiting my brother and his then girlfriend, and he had told her nasty stuff to her year upon saying goodbye and she had never said anything because didn’t want to hurt our sibling relationship 

talk about final nail huh? 

i confronted him and he denied everything, obviously, he instantly played the victim card, how dare i think that way about him, how dare i break his dreams of reuniting the family again. he said things to me i’ll also never forget like, apparently, it shows that i’m a shit person because i have no friends and no one wants me around, unlike him that has so many. he told me i thought the world owed me when i was shit and i believed anything anyone told me before believing him. no one told me any of his lies, i caught them all by myself, but whatever. he cursed me and told me he never wanted anything to do with me because i was rotten and i only cared about money and i was so so selfish. this must have been around march and i still don’t know anything from him, or care.

what do i have to do for that side of the family to leave me alone, i wonder? all i ever wanted to do was be his friend

the “trial” against my boss came and suddenly every lawyer that worked at that firm was taking a fucking holiday except for the one that was supposedly leading my case - except suddenly, i didn’t have much of a case at all. i walked away with less than 2 thousand dollars and that was WITH the vacation days i hadn’t taken. the agreement was the lawyers were gonna keep 25% of however much i made but THAT vacation money wasn’t supposed to count because it didn’t come out of the “trial” thing, you know? 

well, it did. the lawyer screwed me over too. but hey, at least he’d gotten me unemployment for a couple of months (you only apply for unemployment if you’re fired, not if you walk away from a job, and my having been fired or not was what was being contested), i still tried to be optimistic, i had a few months to figure things out while i looked for another job, and at least i was able to finish paying for school with that money.

yeah, this was late february, beginning of march. joke’s on me for being optimistic at all

my own brother plotting with my own mother against me has done a number for my mental health. i already had baggage aplenty, like every trans dude or girl whose parents would rather see them dead than be a dyke/fag (my mother’s own words, ladies and gents)

my boss of eight years kicking me to the curve at the worst moment in my life in the most humilliating of ways while blaming me for it has left me feeling so worthless to people in general. i’m getting better with time, i think, but i’m still all not there. i have a really hard time thinking my work is worth anything at all.

i keep thinking my brother was right, and i’m a shitty friend, and i don’t deserve anyone around. my only real friend at the moment is my girlfriend, which makes it really hard to have any arguments because i start feeling like my life is ending because she’s pretty much all i have left and she’s the most important thing in the world to me because i wouldn’t have survived all this shit i’m writing without her by my side. i would walk to hell and back for her. but nico also left me behind without a second thought, after telling me i was like a brother to him, no matter how many times i invited him to hang out or anything to keep in touch. i’ve been a shitty friend to a lot of people, but not him, and he still didn’t care about me at all, so i just stopped trying. 

but now social distancing has got me all fucked up. i can’t trust people. i can’t go outside. everything is scary to me, i have at least two or three panic attacks per WEEK and they get nastier and longer every time. i know i need help, but i can’t even afford rent, let alone therapy. Uruguay has the worst unemployment rates since 2006 now thanks to our baby-Trump right now. i look for jobs daily even if the notion of having a job even SIMILAR to the one i had before gives me the shakes. programming isn’t as hard as some people may think, but the workplaces are usually VERY toxic because you’re valued by the amount of lines of code you write, and i’m so so tired. i’m still looking because I NEED. TO. PAY. RENT. but not because it’s something i want in life, at all. i’d much rather be poor and just do freelance work instead, but i’m failing.

i thank the people that have helped me or commissioned me these past few months from the bottom of my heart. i’m sorry i’m not more active, i’m sorry i’m still rusty and can’t draw faster, i’m sorry i sometimes spend half a day crying my eyes out because i just don’t know how to move forward. i have a week left, i still haven’t made enough for rent, let alone the bills or food. mabu used to get plenty of art commissions on etsy, but she hasn’t sold anything since march either and she’s younger than me so our financial struggles have an even deeper impact on her

i’m just so, so tired. i’m lucky to have mabu, and that is about it. i honestly don’t think i could have survived this year without her. for months the future has looked like a black screen to me. i can’t even trust the vegetable market in front of my fucking house because some piece of shit spread the rumor that i’m trans and now i can’t even open the door to my front house without getting stares sometimes, it’s ridiculous. i wish i could trust more than one person in the world so that everything wasn’t on her shoulders.

i’m not okay. we’re not okay.

that’s about it. i’m sorry i can’t end this on a more positive note. at least we graduated with an excellent score. not that we had a graduation, obviously. thanks corona.

thank you for reading if you read this far ♥

[prorevenge]

Abusive mom is ruined and wanted

It's a rough story to start, so I'll just go chronologically.

The first exmaple of how evil she was my older brother told me. Back when I was really young, my dad was in the Army and managed to score some leave (vacation time) from Desert Storm to surprise my mom for her anniversary. When he knocked on the door, all my mom said was "Why aren't you dead, I need the money." Her new beau then started backing out of the garage in my dad's mustang cobra.

He got revenge, but that's a story for later if you guys want.

The divorce was pretty much what you expect, mom got custody of me. My dad later tricked her with some money and got me for a visit, then filed for custody since my mom had warrants out for her arrest.

A few years later my dad remarried to your typical evil stepmother who doted on her daughters and hates her stepson. For example, for Easter my step sisters got huge baskets of candy and chocolates, a couple toys, etc. I got an old soup can with my name painted on it (poorly) that "I could use for pencils."

This witch managed to talk my dad into sending back to my mom, and here the story begins in earnest.

Where my mom was living was an old two bedroom, one bath house. My sister's shared one room, my mom and stepdad shared the other, my brother got the whole basement, and I got a "room" so small that I could touch fingertip to fingertip each wall, and it was double that long. I had a curtain instead of a door.

I got nothing. I hated life there. I was one of only a few white kids at school, so I got beat up alot for being white, it was low income area in Michigan, so I was the one who always had to shovel, rake, mow, and then my mom would "rent me out" to the neighbors, and they all just paid her. I did all the chores and was "grounded until she felt like ungrounding me." I basically sat on my bed for six years anytime I was not in school, cleaning, or making her money.

I learned this later, but my mom was "extorting" money from my dad. She would demand $3000 for a school photo, and he willingly paid $700 a month in child support, even though there was no need to. (He worked in the oil field business after he retired, on a corporate board). She would make stuff up like "Our car broke, etc" and demand money. My dad had to fork over $12,000 for me to go visit him for a week. He couldn't take me in at the time, he wasn't home enough (lots of travel) and he was single, but I found out he was sending me Christmas and birthday gifts every year, and I later found out from my brother she pawned them all. He bought me a brand new Color Gameboy, which was promptly taken away because "I was grounded." She pawned that too. She would often hit me for stupid reasons, like when I once put the dishes away a bit damp or if I managed to get a chocolate milk from the school cafeteria. Once I got fed up and pushed her, she called he police and he chided me.

In short, it was hell.

Meanwhile my sister's got upgraded to a private school and lots of amazing toys. She took custody of my grandfather who had MS from the waist down and couldn't even use the bathroom by himself. She got power of attorney and took all his money and blew it, as well as taking half his pain meds (like Vicodin) and giving them to my brother to sell. This will be important later, kinda.

Now the revenge part. This is going to be a bit long, so I apologize in advance.

In my junior year of high school, I got to working in the library. My teachers were amazing and supportive, and knew my situation. I got my dad's email, and we started planning. He figured once I finished high school, he would personally come up and get me. Finally when my mom decided to have a "graduation party" for me, complete with inviting all her friends and none of the like, two people I could call a friend, a couple days before my graduation ceremony. About two hours before the party was going start, my dad pulls up. I invite him in, and he looks around, looks confused. He leans in and asks me "Where is she?" I point. She was right in front of him lying on the couch. He screwed up his face, and said he'd wait in the car.

While I was gathering all my stuff in a single garbage bag, my mom finally realized who this stranger was, and lost her shit. She tried everything from bribing me with Nascar tickets (I hate Nascar, she liked it but I knew she didn't have any) to physically obstructing me. She had pulled out all the stops for this party, spending a couple thousand and lots of time cooking, err making me cook. I get outside, throw my stuff in the truck, and we take off.

(Side story. We get halfway down the street and my dad has to pull over. He laughs uncontrollably for awhile. I asked his what's up, and in his Texan accent says "Boy, when I was a kid I always wanted to marry a movie star. I just didn't think it be Jabba the Hutt." Evidently they didn't recognize each other at first, she put on ALOT of weight after they divorced.)

We get to his place, and it starts. I get updates from my sister in law. The party was f*****d. She was humiliated. Since she didn't have me, my dad stopped sending money. They had months worth of unpayable bills. She had to pawn her jewelry, pull my sister's out of the private school and back into public school, sell one of the cars she had. Soon she started calling for money claiming someone stole the mail all the time so they couldn't pay their bills and needed money to replace the mailbox so they wouldn't steal it anymore.

It was refreshing knowing I was free, and I could say no with no repercussions. I was happy to live and let live. I vowed to leave her be and let her sink or swim by her own hand. I was elated to be free, and had no desire to look back at that part of my life.

But she wasn't done with me.

I decided to follow my dad's example and join the service. I decided the Navy was the place for me. My job required a top secret clearance, so they do a very thorough background check, to include a credit check. Turns out I was delinquent in mortgage payments, I was receiving social security, and I owed a power company alot of money among other credit card debts. That b****** stole my identity and ran me into debt since she couldn't get anymore money. I knew about identity theft, it just never occurred to me that a parent has everything they need to do so.

This couldn't stand. After I finished basic training and my technical school, I spoke to my Chief (supervisor). Chief was awesome. She managed to wrangle me a "temporary assignment" to a recruiting station in my old town where my mom lived so the Navy would buy my plane tickets. I spoke to the police and filed a report. One by one I managed to clear most of the debts from me and send all the debt collectors after her.

Then I made a visit to the social security office. I was in uniform at the time, and spoke to a clerk about how I was somehow getting payments when I never got anything. She looks up the account, and boom. My mom was here. She claimed I was permanently mangled and disabled in an accident and I was physically unable to sign, giving her permission to cash my checks. The clerk read that last part out slower as it dawned on her that I was clearly more than able. She opened a case. For the monolithic bureaucracy that was the government, they move pretty fast when someone's stealing money from THEM.

Turns out when they went to investigate, she had already skipped town. They issued warrants for her arrest and she is on the run.

I got cut a check for $20,000, the amount that was garnished from my wages for what she stole from the social security administration, and she now owes that much to Uncle Sam.

So this was ten years ago.

So evidently my brother found out that not only am I doing great, I am very successful. I recently left the service and I am starting an even more exciting job. So he told Mom, and she came crawling out of the woodworks via Facebook for money for a "doctor", but I told her prison gives free medical care, and it felt good. Turns out when my aunts (her sisters who lived in another state) found out about how she treated me, she was cut out of everyone's will, to include my grandmother. Unfortunately we didn't get to my grandfather before she cashed in on him.

So heavily in debt, with no family to turn to, no way to get a job, with fraud on her record as well as selling prescription medication, and warrants out for her arrest, my mother, Jabba the Hutt, is receiving hers.

I got cut a check for $20,000, the amount that was garnished from my wages for what she stole from the social security administration, and she now owes that much to Uncle Sam.

Sorry if this is the wrong sub, but I thought I'd share.

(source) story by (/u/Admiral_Bismarck)

[anogete]

Hi Anogete! I think of you as someone who has her financial shit together. Can you give me some advice? I’m starting a new job that pays $18k more. I’m making more money than I’ve ever made in my life by a significant amount and I’m worried I’m going to spend it stupid shit. How can I keep my lifestyle from creeping up to meet this new salary?

Hey, anon!  First, congrats on the new job.  That’s amazing and definitely something to be proud of.  Second, I’d love to drop some advice for you.  My day job is actually helping people with their finances--how to save money, how to retire, how to invest, etc.  I’m in the US, so these answers are assuming you are, too.  If you aren’t, they may still apply.  So, let me give you three fairly easy things to do.  They are in order of ease.  You can do one or all of them.  The more you do, the better.

1) Find out if the company you work for has a retirement plan.  Most retirement plans will allow you to make a payroll deferral.  This is money you ask the payroll person to take out of your check. Sometimes (especially with 401(k)s, which are common in the private sector), the company will match some of your contributions.  Oftentimes, they will also have a profit-sharing component where they will share a portion of the company profits with you in the same account.  You’ll get the profit-sharing regardless of what you do, but the matching will be lost if you don’t contribute.  Asking the payroll department to take contributions out of your paycheck will help you save since you’ll never see the money AND it will help lower your tax bill AND it will get you started toward saving for retirement.  If you do this, then you’ll have to tell them how you want your money invested.  Most plans have target date funds.  Pick the fund with a year closest to the date you’d be 65 and have all the contributions (from you and the company) go into that fund.  Leave it alone, don’t mess with it, don’t try to change the investment based on what you’re hearing in the news.  Just forget about it and let it grow.  SIDE NOTE: If your company offers a Roth component to the retirement plan, then you should consider it.  If you think you’ll be making more money later in your career, then putting money in the Roth portion is going to help you in retirement.  Roth money is the same as all other retirement money, but it has been taxed.  This means when you take it out later in life, you don’t have to pay any tax at all, even on the growth.  With all the other retirement money, you have to pay tax on all of it.

2) Open a savings account and have your bank automatically move money over every time you get paid.  Let’s say you get paid twice a month and you’re comfortable sending $100 of each paycheck into a savings account.  Set it up on auto.  Build the savings account up to an amount that would cover your monthly bills for 3 to 6 months.  Once you hit that point, you should start investing the excess cash that you were directing to savings.  Getting a financial advisor would be ideal, but most of them won’t want to work with you if you’re just starting out and don’t have a lump sum to invest.  So, you can do it yourself.  Go to Vanguard’s website and open an account.  Have them start pulling that money you were putting into savings into the account there.  You’ll need to pick a fund or funds to invest the money in.  If you are young (under 50), pick a mutual fund(s) that is growth-oriented.  Keywords would be growth, capital growth, equity, aggressive.  Stick to one or two funds for now.  Don’t go crazy with various ones because it won’t help you at this point.  Like I said above, don’t fuck with them.  Don’t change them.  Set them and forget them.  You are not smart enough to outsmart the markets.  The account will go up and down, sometimes dramatically.  Don’t freak out.  It’ll be okay.  Once you’ve built that account up to about $30,000, you should go talk to a financial advisor who can help you.  Interview them.  Ask questions about their philosophy on investing, the services they offer, how they are compensated, what they would recommend for you and what the cost would be.  Pay close attention and go with your gut.

3) Everyone hates this one, but it will help you supercharge the first two items.  Make a damn budget.  For real.  Go on Mint.com and sign up for an account.  Link your banks, credit cards, and loans.  It will download the data and guess what your transactions are--grocery, utility, housing, shopping, medical, etc.  You’re going to need to teach it.  Go in and check the coding, correct things.  It will learn.  Once you’ve done this for a couple months, you’ll begin to see what you’re spending money on and (sometimes!) where you can cut back.  Now, make a realistic budget based on your own history.  The website will help you.  Once you’ve got a budget, go through a couple months and make sure you can stick to it and make sure you were being honest about your spending.  If you were, now you will easily be able to see any money you don’t need that will get blown if it lands in your bank account.  Go back up to steps 1 and 2 and divide up that money between them.  You should favor the retirement account because it’s going to help you more over time, but don’t neglect saving outside of the retirement account.  When all is said and done, you want at least a third of your savings in a non-retirement account like the mutual fund account in step 2 when you retire.  Try to stick to your budget and continue to save.  If something unexpected comes up, dip in your savings account at the bank that can support you for 3-6 months and replenish it over time.

Basically, figure out what you don’t need and get it out of your checking account before you buy shit you don’t need.  Have your company take it out of your check before you even get paid or tell your bank to take it out when your paycheck arrives.  Like right away.  Immediately.  If not, you’re going to spend it.  I know because I do the same thing.  Honestly, so do most other people.  Even wealthy people who never have to worry about money have this problem.  I’ve seen people blow through a million dollars in a couple years because it was there and they wanted, wanted, wanted.

I hope this helps.  If you (or anyone else) ever have any questions, my inbox and asks are open.  I’m happy to answer if I can.  Good luck with the new job and with saving.  You can do it!

[ohcoolnice]

very unpopular opinion: Stop asking for money on tumblr

I’m gonna get so much hate for this but i can’t even hold back anymore. 

so i hate to be *that person* because everyone is going through shit, but let me just make my point here:

I’m an 18 (19 in less than a month) year old white girl with a black father and a white mother. I might be bi but i’m really just confused tbh.

This is all irrelevant, though, because I live in an abusive home, which isn’t something i’d stand for if it were anybody else, i don’t give a shit if you’re a purple girl and thanos is your dad and you’re lesbian. It matters when people are hurting. My father controls my bank account, expects me to pay him, refuses to let me have ANY money, and the 20 dollars i have is from babysitting, and it’s hidden in my room, taped under my bed because it’s the only place he might not find it, since he searches through my room on the regular.

I do not have a job, because i had to leave the job i’ve had since i was 14 due to health issues, and i’ve been searching for a job for about six months, and haven’t got anything that’s more than a week (i worked a week on comic-con in the summer). I’ve probably applied to over 100 jobs by now, but I simply don’t have the “experience” that is so required but never given.

I’m currently making money via an online captioning site, that pays per video minute of captions, not per hour spent captioning, so i can spend 50 hours that week captioning, and only make $16. It’s not fast money, but it’s MONEY.

As i said, I live in an abusive household. I was very open about this on the last tumblr i had, but i decided i wouldn’t say anything about it on this one, i don’t like the way i’m addressed once people find out. It’s been so long that i’ve come to normalise the abuse, and it rarely makes me cry anymore, but what does make me cry, is seeing happy families and good relationships on TV. Something i might never have.

I had to use everything I’ve saved up since i started working at 14, over 5 years ago, and now my bank account is empty, and I’m struggling to earn enough to pay off my credit card (had to buy school supplies- i’m a fashion student). I have to come up with excuses why i don’t have certain materials in class when the truth is that i can’t afford anything at all. I live at home with my parents, grandmother, and three brothers.

The worst part of all this is that my family isn’t poor. Honestly, it’s the complete opposite. My father has a net worth of over 3 million, and my mother is not far behind. My brothers are constantly treated with new shoes and clothes and school supplies (two younger, one a year older than me who is on an internship in Halifax), and my parents love to go on multiple vacations each year without their kids, which i understand, four kids is a lot of work.

We’re not in debt and we’re well off. Our house is small, yes, but everyone has their own room and there is a separate apartment in the basement for my grandmother, and we have a backyard that’s oddly large for the city.

So why am i so broke?

Honestly, i’m not sure. I know my father loves me, but the times i can see that are so few and far between that i don’t even know anymore. My second youngest brother stole my father’s credit card and cash multiple times this year, racking up a lovely bill of over $2,000 worth of money stolen.

As a punishment, he has a full season pass to Canada’s Wonderland, gifts for every occasion, and he’s practically my parents’ favorite. Sure, they scold him when it happens and they find out, but their punishments never last more than a day, whereas i am still blamed for attending a year of private school in the fifth grade- something that was their choice, not mine.

And that’s not even the abusive aspect to my house. That’s merely my parent’s preference of my brothers over me.

My father is emotionally abusive, screaming and yelling and calling me fat (though i’m in relatively okay shape, and underweight) and lazy and stupid and somethings i’d rather not type out. If he’s in a mood, I’m his target, even if i’m not home, i’ll open up my email to see a bunch of wonderful new emails in my inbox telling me off.

He’s also been physically abusive.

So many people have told me to call the cops or anything, but at home, everyone is constantly yelling at me, and calling me a liar the moment i open my mouth, but i rarely ever lie because i absolutely HATE liars.

My father hates what i do, he hates what i want to do, because, to him, fashion isn’t a real career. He hates that I’m in art and that i paint and draw and that i barely was able to pass math in high school.

I’m also ADHD. While i don’t have any money, everything i make will be going towards paying my tuition. I have two scholarships, but still have to pay about $8,000 after the deductions.

I currently have a near-perfect score in all my courses, all 100% except one 80% (an 8/10), to which i was told that if he saw anything like it again, I wouldn’t be going to school next semester.

So for my Adhd, I have to take medication, and i’ve gotten better at being able to function without, but i still can’t fully, and it’s really hard to explain what i mean by that, so i won’t, it’s really too complex. For two and a half years, ending this summer,  I was SEVERELY depressed: cutting and numb and crying myself to sleep more nights than not. Panic attacks and Anxiety attacks were the norm. Honestly, I have so much shit due that i’m gonna cut this short, because i have four more projects due this week, three due tomorrow.

I don’t have a phone, because i’m not “responsable like your brothers” and I have to walk down poorly-lit and dangerous areas of downtown after class to get to the subway. if something did happen to me, though, i’m not sure my family would really care. maybe my grandmother and my brothers and my mom. maybe my mom.

Basically, I understand that life is hard, but it really rubs me the wrong way when i see people asking for money on tumblr as if there is NO other option. there’s always some other way to do things. I’ve gone through more things in my 18, almost 19 years, than most people would in their lives, in terms of psychological and physical harassment.

And yet i have never asked for money, especially not from random people on the internet. Even though all i have in my purse for the rest of the year is a few coins that i probably just found on the sidewalk, I still give change to church boxes and i still leave food from my lunch next to homeless sleeping people- something i wish everyone did- because while my life might SUCK, other people have it worse, and I know that even if i have nothing, there’s always things i can do about it.

I don’t want pity, or anything from this. I’m just adding all that to help back my point and to show that I understand hardship.

There’s a website called TASKRABBIT and others like it that pays you to do tasks for others. There’s also things like DOORDASH and PETSITTER.COM and hundreds of other alternatives. I have to wait a few days, as you have to be 19 to join many of these, but please consult alternatives before asking others for money, perhaps asking others to give their money to people who have less, like those in shelters with families and children. Donate food etc.

Please stop asking for money. The device you’re using to ask for it on can be used to make money. So please, use the internet. Legally.

I know people can be rude, and I worked as a swimming instructor for four years, so i understand dealing with both difficult adults and children, and I’ve been called things in and out of home i’d rather not say, but that’s customer service for you. The customer is always right, even if they’re a jerk.

There are plenty of things online to make money from, and i company i work for required me to not give out it’s name when i started working for it, but there’s plenty of work out there that doesn’t require an interview or anything.

I’m sure things are hard now, and i’m not trying to be rude, but things like this really bother me, especially when there is clearly other options.

Best of luck to all of you in your future endeavors.

[nancyjourney]

Savings and Earning- Millennial’s Guide to the Riches... Well at least a start to getting rich?

DISCLAIMER: This is by no means a set in stone way to getting where you want to be financially in life nor am I a professional, this is just my interpretation of how I believe how we as millennials will be able to save and buy our first home or first car, or whatever investment you plan to put your money into. 

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KEEP PUSHING ON...

To all of the newly graduates or soon-to-be graduates, keep looking, keep applying and do not let your hopes diminish if you have not heard back from the jobs you have applied to, something will cross your path that is meant for you. From my personal experience, I can say I was in the same shoes as many of you, well I guess not the exact same, considering this is a unprecedented time, but I know all of this will pass, just remember to not give up, I truly believe what the saying “whatever is meant for you, will be yours.”

Lets go back in time now - going back in time 3 years, it’s April 2017, I am a fresh graduate right out of university with a BSc. degree from a pretty well-known university in Ontario, with no job lined up and no graduate program in line as a back-up and no clue what I am supposed to do or where to start. Honestly, it was the most stressful 2 months of my life, thankfully, all my searching and applying did not go unnoticed, I ended up landing a corporate job, which to this day I am still doing, obviously a few positions and a few companies later, but I am in the same stream of work. I am content with where I am (still striving to achieve more but I am content as of right now). 

My point is DO NOT STOP LOOKING AND DO NOT STOP APPLYING, You will find something that is meant for you. Look outside the box, something you do not even think would apply to your degree may turn out to be great. 

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SAVINGS GUIDE...

Back on track, how to save and and have a “okay” or comfortable saving in your mid 20s...

What i did was budget. I think I can personally say I was always good with money and budgeting, from a very young age and all throughout University, I budgeted so i did not need to stress about money nor ask my parents to fund my expenses. 

Budgeting does not come naturally for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

My first job i got out of university paid me minimum wage - I was thankful I landed this job, I earned around $10.40/hr (minimum wage in ontario back in early 2017) then a week later i landed the full-time 9-5 corporate job (which paid above what I was earning at that time and  I was over the moon, I thought I was rich (funny enough, now I am currently making 25% more than what I was making at that time and now I still do not feel like i am making enough, funny how once you achieve something the hunger inside you makes you always want to strive for more, and that is good because that means your are a go-getter, which is always something to praise because being complacent isn’t what gets you to that goal you have). 

I started at the first corporate company as a assistant, I was making about $20/hr then eventually I climbed to about $26/hr once i got promoted. The best decision I can say i EVER made was deciding at about 2.5 years at my 1st corporate company, I made the decision to change companies, the 1st corporate company’s mission did not align with mine any longer, and this change gave me a financial incentive as well, a 20% pay increase, I was earning $32/hr, I was happy about this, and I recently got a 2% inflation raise (before the outbreak of COVID19) now making $34/hr. 

My point is money at the start is not everything, as long as there is growth potential at a company, that is more valuable and more important. 

Do the following: 

Budget - make a list of expenses, or just go through your e-statements and see what you spend the most on, is it food, uber, clothing, whatever you do spend the most on take a step back and evaluate if you can decrease that spending. i can say I spend way too much on food, me and my boyfriend just order in way more than we should, and its not necessary and not sustainable in the long run, currently I am trying to meal plan and grocery shop and keeping stables on hand so we do not need to spend excessive amounts on food delivery. My goal is spending $200/month on take out, and if I spend less the remainder will go into my savings or TFSA (Tax free savings account)

Savings account - put the funds that you have remaining after you pay all of you expenses in a savings account where you can earn some form of interest on, currently Tangerine has a promo of 2.8% interest (which is amazing as Bank of Canada has dropped interest rates to about 0.25%, so try to find a high interest savings account), I like to put 99% of my excess cash flow/savings in a savings account because it is accessible because currently my short-term goals is to purchase a home and it will happen hopefully anytime within the next 6 months to 1 year so I do not want to lock my funds in a GIC (Guaranteed Investment Certificate) or invest it in a volatile stock market 

Invest in the stock market - I know the above point said I do not want to invest all of my excess savings/cash-flow into the stock market because i need it to be liquid and safe as I will be purchasing a home very soon, but I do have some stock market investments which are more for long-term purposes, and i personally strongly believe in this as this is helpful in saving and helpful to build wealth, and I use wealthsimple, it is a simple platform where robo-advisors invest for me into ETFs and charge a very low fee of 0.5% on the funds that is invested and there are promo codes you can get which allow you get to get your first 10k invested free of any commision charges (no 0.5% for the first 10k you invest) they also have cool bonus offers you can earn additional increments of commision free investment amounts, I also use Wealthsimple Trade where I invest into stocks myself 

Use a Cashback Credit Card - I love this because annually i earn anywhere from $200-$500 in cash back earning. I have 3 specific cards i use for different categories, i use my RBC Cashback mastercard for groceries because I get 2% back which means if I spend $2000 in groceries for the year i get about $40 back. I have Tangerine Cashback mastercard for 3 categories of 2% back which are: 1. restaurants (which I benefit from a lot), 2. Transportation (uber eats counts as transportation as well, but know skipthedishes is considered groceries so I would recommending using a credit card which gives $2% cashback for this) and 3. Gas (Esso, Costco Gas, Petro Canada, Shell etc) and 3. BMO Cashback, this gives 1% cashback on everything, but I recently found out in May 2020 this will be changing so most likely I will be resorting to just using my RBC Mastercard for all of my autopayments like amazon prime, disney+, my cellphone etc... just because i have way to many card and i am trying to cut down on the number of card I have just so I can monitor more closely on what I spend

STOP ONLINE SHOPPING FOR STUFF YOU DO NOT NEED - I am so guilty of this, i recently stopped this, I truly enjoy just surfing on he web and buying stuff because it gave me the quick rush of happiness, god only knows why i was so excited, but now before I purchase anything i leave it in my shopping cart and come back the next day to see if i STILL need it or want it and maybe then i will hit next and input my paypal payment info

I guess that is all for now, but I hope whoever sees this can make use of this, this is just what is on my head right now and i truly hate the tenants upstairs who are still stomping right now and i cannot seem to sleep, I hope they stop stomping over my head as it is truly aggravating me. Do these people not sleep? I guess i CANNOT be speaking as i am awake, but to be fair i am seated in my bed typing this so I am barely making any sounds, ugh i hate it here

Signing off

N

[losferwords]

Don’t call it a comeback, just my 2017 review

My return to Tumblr will have something meaningful rather than just “Hi I’m back again, but really I’m going to be gone for 8 months before I post again”.

Basically, I used to have a website where I’d post something like this, but decided it was a waste of money to pay for half a dozen website domains and hosting that I wasn’t using. So with no other option, plus a bit of an audience on tumblr I’m posting it on here (translation: someone might read this here).

Anyway, introduction aside… my 2017 “review”:

No I’m not reviewing albums or films or tv shows, but posting some info about real life stuffs. It’s like it’s my year in review. I’m not going into huge detail about everything though (got to keep some level of mystique).

Worthy points of note: I bought a house and then almost lost my job. I’m a Libra, and my sign is the scales, which is all about balance. I suppose that right there is a perfect balance of good and bad.

The year started with zero resolutions, I wasn’t that organised, I didn’t have a master plan of “this year I’m buying a house” - it was more a case of it just happening and once I started, I just kept going and going, one thing to led to another and BAM I’m a home owner.

In March, the shit hit the fan in work, I won’t go into details because the past is in the past. Safe to say we were all pretty pissed off, I applied for new jobs, and at one point had a letter of resignation typed up. But we all persevered and got on with things. Then at the end of April, I suddenly felt like it was time to look at buying a house. I booked a week off work, arranged a meeting with the bank and viewed a house.

The bank were useless and messed me about, more importantly they wouldn’t give me a big enough mortgage for the first house I viewed. The amount they will lend is worked out as a multiplier of your annual income and every bank/building society have different ones. My bank used 4.5x annual income minus “committed outgoings” - so things like loans, credit cards, car finance repayments, etc. To be fair the first house was a bit weird, and too expensive really. I decided to look at other lenders and found that Nationwide used a 4.75x multiplier, plus where I had to wait two weeks for an appointment with my bank, I only had to wait two days for one with Nationwide.

I viewed another house, which was much cheaper and overall better than the first house I viewed. Nationwide approved me in principal for the mortgage on it, I booked a second viewing a few days after the May Day bank holiday (at the start of the month), and managed to blag my way to an actual appointment with the mortgage advisor. What they do, is they don’t let you see an actual mortgage advisor until you have an offer accepted on a house. But I cajoled (great word) my way to an appointment before I’d made an offer. I viewed the house again, made my offer and the next morning once the estate agent was happy I was a serious bidder, the offer was accepted.

Here we go, my three week search was over. House found, offer made, offer accepted. Now on to the interview, which was an experience. Anyone who says face-to-face banking is dead has never had a mortgage. Three hours it took to sort out the mortgage, home insurance, life insurance and property survey. In between this I picked a solicitor and told them to act on my behalf. Less than a week after the offer was accepted, I had the mortgage and all insurances sorted. I was flying, hoping to get everything finished within six weeks. But then things took a wrong turn.

The whole “house buying process” took thirteen weeks for me. “But how?” You ask? Well Nationwide took their sweet time, as did my solicitor, but more importantly – Japanese Knotweed was found by the surveyor on the edge of the property boundary.

Japanese Knotweed is an invasive plant which has strong and powerful roots which can break through concrete. Lenders hate it, and many won’t give mortgages if it’s close to the property. Despite it being over 100 feet away from the house itself (yep I have a big garden), the surveyor wanted it investigated and treated. So now we were at a standstill.

My mortgage advisor gave his apologies for the news and said to look for a new property. I said screw that, I’m not giving up on the house because of that. And so a knotweed survey needed to be carried out, and the result of that was that it did need a treatment plan – both the survey and the treatment were paid for by the seller – which I appreciated greatly (the seller ended up paying about £2,500). So for the next 3 years a specialist company comes to treat the knotweed, but it’s all paid for by the seller.

Fast forward to the first week of August, and we FINALLY complete. I take two weeks off work in the middle of August to get the house tidy and the way I want it. You know, painting walls, ordering sofas, building flat pack furniture from IKEA, a new carpet for the bedroom, a new mattress, watching lawn care videos on YouTube (yes I’m that person now) and I spent a shit load of money. But it still comes in under my original budget so I’m proud of myself. I won’t say how much I spent, but it’s the most I’ve ever spent on anything before. I move in in the last week of August with just one cheap (but stylish) IKEA armchair to sit on, as I awaited my (also stylish) new sofas.

Then a month later, the news from work is that everything is changing, they’re going to do the complete opposite of what they said they’d do, instead they were closing the office and we were being made redundant at the end of December. Based on how I felt at the start of the year, I wasn’t too bothered. Everyone else I knew (who I told about it) was furious for me, “you’ve just bought a house” they all said. I’ve been with my job for 11 years, I’m not an egotistical person at all – completely the opposite – totally selfless, but I’m good at what I do, and I’m important to the business.

Three board meetings later (and three months later), they had no idea what they were doing in terms of closing the office down. Two weeks ago after phoning the chair of the board to find out what they were doing, we made some small progress. Now, they tell me that I will be kept on in the new year, I know there will be three months minimum of work for me to do. But I’m the only person being kept on, so will be working on my own. I’ve told them I want a minimum of a 3 month contract and a pay rise to stay on.

I’m due a nice redundancy payment next week which would be the equivalent of 3 to 4 months pay, plus my actual pay for December. And if I’m kept on for the 3 month minimum I want then I’m quite happy with that. Combine that with the house, which I’m really happy with, there’s only one thing left to make 2017 my perfect year. I won’t say what it is, but it may or may not happen before Christmas (Edit - it didn’t happen). But, I’m quite superstitious so I don’t want to say anything is perfect. It’s always “alright”. But right now I feel like I’m being asked to pick a man of the match in a football match and it’s only the 85th minute.

Anyway, that’s my 2017.

No albums, although I would recommend the Queens of the Stone Age “Villains” album. But if you know me, then you knew I’d say that. No mystique with my music tastes I’m afraid.

[terselylove]

35 Mistakes You Will Regret Making Today, Tomorrow, And The Next Day

1. Take your days off, take your sick leave, and most of all save up money and take your vacations. Companies want you to think you are invaluable to them but in the end they will let you go and forget you as soon as you are gone.

2. Keep a close eye on your relationship with substances. Many of you will have serious problems with them and won’t realize until you’re in very deep.

3. Always watch how your love interest treats other people. The day will inevitably come when that person will treat you the same way.

4. Don’t waste time being “anti.” I spent a lot of time in high school looking down on people’s choices of music, movies, hobbies, friends, etc. I said things like, “They only like it because it’s popular. This thing I’M into is clearly better.”

I was a bit of a dick and later I realized it’s ok to let people enjoy things that I don’t. I wasted a lot of opportunities to learn new things and make new friends because of that attitude and I regret it a lot.

5. Avoid staying in a job where you’re totally bored or hate facing it every day.

Some people stick with it endlessly because “it takes too much effort to find something new” (or because they believe an alternative will probably be no better in the long run than where they are).

6. Take risks young, before you have kids, because then you are taking a risk on your family too. Plus risks are super fun and empowering when all the consequence is on you! After kids then the exhilaration becomes guilt. Not as enjoyable.

7. Triple redundancy… back up ALL your photos, videos etc, I lost about a year of photos which included a couple of big life events, mostly I backed up but got sloppy.

Cloud storage is very cheap but don’t rely on just that, put it on a hard drive as well and a few other places.

Also for those who are a little older check all those old DVD/CDs you burnt as they’re degrading and data is being lost.

8. Don’t date someone because you are lonely. Date someone because you see a future with them.

9. Not forgiving my best friend for something really minor. I stopped talking to her, even though she apologized a million times. Now, I don’t even know where she is anymore. She was a really good friend, and I was an asshole.

10. Don’t eat out of boredom or to make yourself feel better when you’re down. A slice or two of pizza on occasion is OK; a whole pizza, not so much. Also, go easy on the sugary drinks and alcohol.

11. Not breaking up with a guy immediately after he hits you for the first time. I’m sorry doesn’t press the reset button.

12. Do not lie to your S/O. They’re supposed to be your best friend. If you lie, trust will break down, the relationship will start to suck, and then you will end it due to their seemingly unwarranted paranoia, or they will end it because they cannot trust you.

13. Don’t self harm, or do drugs. If you have a crush and it’s obvious they don’t like you back, get over it. If you think you or a friend may have depression or any other mental disorders, please get help. If you’re thinking about suicide, DO. NOT. DO. IT.

14. Marriage and children are not for everyone. It’s bliss for some people. It’s absolute carnage for others.

One glove does not fit everyone. If you are happy and content being with yourself. Accept it, enjoy it. Don’t let the world let you take on a responsibility that has no expiration date.

15. When you get cheated on, don’t try to fix it and give a person another chance, just leave. It will hurt and it may seem that what i am saying is pointless but you will thank me soon and also after you get cheated on. Work on yourself first before looking for another one because if you rush it you are more likely to fail.

16. Not putting effort and the focus that was required for school. Yes, I’ve ended up doing extremely well for myself within a few years after high school. But I sure as hell wish I actually paid attention. I thought it was cool and fun to just hangout with a bunch of losers who would smoke weed all day and accomplish nothing. Late into senior year is when I made the change, although late on the school part. I began finding new people that were purely dedicated. It rubbed off on me, and now I can say that I’m glad I had a moment of true realization.

17. Love is a two way street. Not realizing that lead to many, many relationships that should have ended but didn’t because of the fear of being alone. On a related note, the fear of being alone is both real and powerful.

18. Don’t marry the wrong person. And don’t marry the wrong person’s family. That’s right, when you marry someone, you also marry their family. When I married, we lived hundreds of miles from her family, so I didn’t know them well. Things changed, and we were living within 5 miles of her family. Disaster struck.

19. Don’t show loyalty where it isn’t deserved, that applies to people, brands, companies you work for.

20. Don’t put too much thought into what people think about you. Just be a good person and have good intentions and realize that you can’t please everyone.

21. Don’t associate with those that don’t have your best interests at heart when it matters.

That usually becomes quite evident when you do something that they don’t like, they start to pick holes with everything to try and manipulate you back, or they just generally aren’t there when you need help.

22. Learn to communicate effectively. Seriously. You’ll lose good people from your life if you can’t do it right, so learn.

23. Credit cards are not free money. You may need one to build credit but be careful how much you use it, and pay it off every month. It’s so easy to charge “just this one little thing” over and over until the card is maxed out.

24. Take care of what you have before it becomes what you had.

25. Working in a family-owned business (as an outsider) can go really fucking south. You will get the silent treatment, in the worst-case scenario I’ve experienced. There will be loads of clique behavior and just the general vibe of “if we weren’t shorthanded, we’d have kept it in the family”. In general, there will always be underlying tension and loads of unprofessional behavior. I’m personally never doing it again, if I can help it.

26. Brushing your teeth might seem minor but if you don’t holy shit its finna come hit like a truck. And also makes finding a soulmate a whole lot easier.

27. If your grandparents/older relatives are alive and well, spend some time with them, call them to say hi, just check in with them. When they are gone you’re going to be the one left with regret, not them.

28. If the group of people you’re hanging around at school (or elsewhere) always make fun of you in a “joking” way, stop hanging out with them. If everybody gets their share, then it’s alright but if you’re the butt of every joke then it’s not really friendship. You’re just a lightning conductor for all their insecurities. Have some self-respect.

29. If you are pregnant and think something is wrong, please, please, PLEASE find a doctor who will listen. My last pregnancy, I was in excruciating pain, losing weight and wasn’t hungry. My OBs brushed off my concerns, just saying every pregnancy is different. I was in the ER twice with upper abdominal pain. Neither time did they check my son. I had undiagnosed HELLP Syndrome. Because the doctors wouldn’t listen, my son died. You know your body. Don’t let doctors ignore you.

30. Read your insurance policies. Know what’s in there and if you have enough or too much coverage.

31. If things come easy to you and you can pass all your classes in high school on tests alone, don’t. Do the homework, even if it’s just tedious busywork. Keep all your handouts organized and neat. Do projects and papers step by step. Once you hit college (especially in upper level stem classes) you’ll regret not having made those habits earlier. High school isn’t about learning material as much as it is teaching you HOW to learn material.

32. For the love of everything that is good, don’t ever take up smoking. Doesn’t matter how good that nicotine rush feels, sooner or later you’ll end up regretting it, and quitting is… well, a bitch.

33. Don’t ever think you still have some “fun time” left and avoid your responsibilities. It’s a slippery slope.

Like, it starts by thinking “oh, I got a few more hours before I have to worry about that report” and gradually turns into “I’m only 21, what’s the deal if I need one more semester to finish school?”. And then you wake up one day and realize you’re 24, all your friends have graduated and you’re still jerking off.

34. When picking a career it’s best to focus on what you’re actually good at than something that just sounds more interesting. Regrets have been made.

35. Follow your intuition. We are animals that have been taught to ignore our instincts. Following my instincts has save my life before.

[coonstuff]

Jude, The Big Mistake, and an incredible mattress company.

Everybody knows Jude is our problem boy. He’s an emotional eater, his natural separation anxiety never diminished, he’s got a jealous streak a mile wide, etc. He’s our boy, and we love him hopelessly, but he’s a guy with some issues. What you might not know is that I, his mother, have a fairly rare form of Tourette’s syndrome that is causing arthritis in my hands and neck. Because of this, when the time came to get a new mattress, I did a LOT of research before settling on the bed offered by Tuft and Needle, a little company running out of Arizona. With great trepidation I maxxed out my credit card and got the mattress, and wonder of wonders, it is a fantastic bed, I sleep beautifully on it, and do not wake up with the powerful neck, wrist and head aches I experienced on traditional mattresses. In short - I love this bed. When they found out the bed was coming a few days later than expected, they notified me they’d taken 50$ off the price (here’s the actual bed I picked) .

Jude loved the bed, I loved the bed, life rolled along. Until one day, in a fit of hubris, I thought it would be alright to go to the corner store for some juice. Jude was asleep, it’s only two blocks. Surely, it’ll be fine. No need to disturb our young man. Right? Wrong. So very, very wrong. In those few short minutes, Jude woke up, found himself alone, and became overwrought. Perhaps he thought I was hiding from him. Is mum somewhere in these sheets? Certainly! He proceeded to gouge foot long rips into first the flat sheet, then the fitted. And what’s this? A spongy surface. Aha! She’s definitely hiding in here. What follows is too horrible to describe. Moments later I returned home to find my perfect, fancy mattress with softball sized holes in it, and an extremely relieved Jude, covered in bits of fluff and detritus. I confess a few tears were shed before I gathered up the bits of mattress I could, stuffed them into Jude’s craters, and sewed the cover over the holes. When I laid on the bed, the pits were evident. The mattress isn’t one that can be flipped, so I made the best of it, sleeping at the edges, trying to avoid the divots. It was sad, and it was all my fault.

After several months of struggling to sleep around the holes, I had an idea - perhaps Tuft&Needle could sell me a repair kit! If they have the material that goes into the mattress, I can stuff the holes more tightly, and try that! I send out a quick email. I’m including our conversation for your edification.

Hello!

My mattress has been damaged by a naughty raccoon. Do you have any sort of 'filler' or patch available for sale, or any suggestions for a method I might use to repair a baseball-size hole in the mattress?

Thank you for the mattress, and any advice! ♡

On May 18, 2017 5:58 PM, "Katie N @ Tuft & Needle" <

support@tuftandneedle.com

> wrote:

Hi Ana, Katie here from the Tut & Needle customer experience team. I have to say, I have never come across an email quite like this one! So many questions... How exactly did a raccoon get to the mattress? Is this something that happens often? What did you do with the raccoon? The list goes on. While these questions might go unanswered, I am happy to help! :) At this time we don't offer any type of repair kit. However, I might have an even better solution. When you have a chance, could you please send in some photos of your mattress with the sheets off? Ideally, we would be able to see the damaged area. Additionally, if you can include photos of the tag that are on your mattress that would be excellent. While I am pretty sure raccoon attacks are not covered under our warranty, we may be able to make a one-time exception.   I've attached a few example photos, so you know what we are looking for. I very much look forward to hearing from you! Warm Regards,

So, I get that response, and I’m tentatively excited. There’s no way this little company is going to just replace the mattress because I made a judgement error. Right? I reply with the requested photos and a brief explanation:

Ana <@gmail.com> May 18 to support

Here's the brain trust. The one on the right,  Jude,  was in the midst of his terrible twos when I made the mistake of leaving him alone for 15 minutes. This was SO insulting to him,  SO offensive,  he decided to rip a 20 inch hole in the flat sheet, then the fitted sheet, then proceeded to dig a beautifully round hole in the mattress. After a protracted period of self pity,  I gathered up the tiny bits of mattress,  stuffed them into the hole,  and sewed it up. Over the last few months,  the tiny bits have settled considerably,  leaving an unseemly divot that aggravates me afresh with Jude on a nightly basis.   Here is the evidence of his misspent youth. Any suggestions or solutions will be deeply appreciated, and I apologize for any inconvenience. Jude does not apologize. Cause he ain't sorry.

Not even a day later, this incredible reply arrived:

On Fri, May 19, 2017 at 11:19 AM, Katie N @ Tuft & Needle <

support@tuftandneedle.com

> wrote:

Hi Ana, Thank you for sending in these photos. Seeing raccoon pics and reading your hilarious email has been an awesome start to my day! My team and I agree that we hate the idea of your going to sleep frustrated! We want you sleeping well and waking up better. So, we'd like to offer you a one-time replacement. As I said in my previous email, our warranty doesn't include unhappy raccoon attacks. However, in your case, we want to offer an exception. I have ordered a Cal King Mattress that is on its way to your address. If that information has changed, please let me know. I also wanted to let you know that at the end of 2015, we adjusted our mattress formula to add some extra comfort. You may notice a slight difference in how your new mattress feels. Our new T&N adaptive foam provides greater pressure relief, support, and breathability than the previous version. The top layer of the mattress is called T&N Adaptive Foam and contains gel and graphite, which helps pull heat away from your body. Overall you should find the new mattress sleeps cooler and is even more comfortable! How attractive it is to raccoons, I can't say. ;) Please let us know if there is anything else we can do to help. If you are looking for some extra mattress protection, you may like this cover. We hope you and Jude are sleeping well for many years to come. Warmest Regards,

Four days later? A brand new bed is on my doorstep. I’m still in shock. And yes, it is more breathable and amazing than the old one. It’s the best surface I’ve ever slept on, and I’ve written all this so that anyone and everyone can know that Tuft&Needle is an amazing company that does amazing things. Oh, and one more thing...

A week after the bed arrived, I received a package in the mail. Inside the beautiful box were two bandanas, a rope chew toy, a tin of healthy ‘coon treats, and a handwritten note that reads:

“Hey There!

 We received photos of your sweet furry friends! We’re sorry to hear about your mattress. Here are some treats and ‘nice digs’ to help keep Jude from digging even more! Thanks for your support.”

Talk about above and beyond. I confess a few more tears were shed over this situation, but this time it was joy. I couldn’t possibly thank them enough for their kindness. This little article is really all I can do. If you’ve read this far, please consider sharing this with your friends and family. Tuft&Needle provides a fantastic product and the best customer service I’ve ever experienced.

[wellickwrites-blog]

rough inspo bios:

baby calhoun:

so this is baby. obviously baby isn’t her name, but that’s what her family calls her so that’s what she answers to. and introduces herself as. ok so baby’s family is rich as sin and her father runs some kind of car company?? he’s always been very clear that baby’s brothers were gonna take it over when they grew up but baby was Insistent on pushing in so like, she read up all about cars and learned how to fix her own but it wasn’t enough. because her dad literally could not give a shit. her family just left her to do her thing w her mum?? because they were like ‘the women of the house’ and fixing cars was like a shitty manly bonding activity. but because she wasn’t like, prissy and pretty and wanted to be like her brothers, her mum pretty much despised her leaving her w this massive inferiority complex. Also bc she didn’t take to any of the things her mum tried to push her into?? Like piano and ballet and fencing she was like ‘I hate all of this’ and so, her mum just gave up on her pretty quickly and decided she didn’t have any talent whatsoever. which is true, she hasn’t really found her niche. she pretty much hates being left out of things because her family did this to her her whole life. so she gravitates toward her half-sister (who was the product of an affair) bc they’re Both outcasts.

her sister (sharon) is basically a buyer? she procures old furniture and bits of art and stuff? and baby basically does all the numbers, balances all the books, goes w sharon to pick up old bits of furniture and pieces of art from auctions? so really numbers are her thing! she likes numbers and it’s nerdy and cute. she’s so tiny but mighty like she gets to auctions and everyone is like, ok we’ll walk all over her but she’s using dad’s credit card to outbid you. her parents r getting really tired of it all tho and keep trying to set her up on dates and get her interested in boys and she’s like,,, do I have time I’m running a Business since you’re never going to let me help w yours? they pretty much just want her to get a boyfriend so they don’t have to deal with her anymore and to pull her away from sharon. i’m p sure no one has ever believed in her her entire life. i’m also p sure I’m gonna steal ve///ronica lod///ge’s ‘my dad is in prison’ plot for her @ some point

hayley kinney:

(depression cw) okay so hayley??? hayley is basically another water baby and the sweetest of the sweet. like not to be that person but hayley kinney has probably only done like three things wrong in her life. she’s pure. i’ll start w backstory but basically hayley has always suffered from depression? it’s not debilitating but basically she never really put herself out there and found it quite hard to make friends? so when she started high school she started seeing this boy and like that helped a lot?? and it was all rlly good and sweet at first but he had his gang of like, teenage jackass friends and he was totally nasty and a different person around them? and more often than not it became so hayley sat around watching them play video games? and she kinda befriended one of the other guy’s girlfriends bc this girl was in the same predicament and lmao basically hayley and this girl started seeing each other behind their boyfriend’s backs and hence THE ONE BAD THING HAYLEY HAS DONE IN HER LIFE. and long story short her boyfriend found out and a lot of bad stuff got spread about her at school and this girl broke up with her and it led to hayley changing schools a lot. 

but ANYWAY hayley never really had friends and she was always a bit weird and whimsical anyway and people found her quite hard to take? but she’s genuinely a sweet girl if you take the time to get to know her. she just really likes swimming and the beach !! she goes fishing a lot but she catches the fish and she throws them back because she’s that person. and she also loves kids, probably because she’s a big kid herself and is the kind of person who’d go see a kids movie over like, a hard hitting action film or a romcom. 

but basically she became a midwife because this was like, her one good thing!! bringing babies into the world!! she just loves seeing all the happy mums and expectant dads and she always tries to find out the baby’s first and middle names and she’ll go home to see owen like ‘DELILAH JANE CAME INTO THE WORLD TODAY’. but like, a couple of months back she basically got really bad with her depression and took a leave from the hospital? and she probably tries to help with her dad but he’s her Dad so she doesn’t really know how to take care of him because he’s always been the one taking care of her? so instead she got this little part time volunteer job at the museum of conspiracy theories and alien shenanigans handing out maps and information. SO YEP. that’s hayley.

flora kotova:

(sexual assault cw) ‘kay so FLORA. flora is conrad’s best friend and a npc i’m bringing to life because danni was kind enough to let me. she’s a fourth generation acrobat which meant she was pretty much destined to go into the circus because every single member of her family did. which is fine cos when you grow up in a circus family it’s kind of All You Know and you love it. so she’s been training from a young age and it’s taken a toll on her physically because acrobats are kind of skinny and slender and don’t rlly develop properly? so she’s pretty flat chested etc etc. but yeah, she was in the same circus as conrad and her act was aerial silk? and she was so fucking good and so talented and she just, loved it. on the side she learned how to read palms and play with tarot cards and give readings that were False As Hell in every single way. and she played into rumours that she was a witch because she thought it was funny. but yeah, basically she was really happy at the circus up until one of the guys there started flirting with her and coming onto her and she was just? made very uncomfortable? she kept rejecting his advances but he didn’t take no for an answer and she was sexually assaulted by him. she ended up confiding in conrad and the two left together, so now obvs she’s dead shaken and doesn’t really trust anyone other than him? but really she does have a lot of attitude and a lot of optimism? like whenever she goes to a dark place she gives herself little pep talks and she’s like ‘i can do this, i can always do this!’ and it’s really how she gets through life. and for that i love her. but yeah, she’s very much dark lipstick and tons of jewellery, like tons of rings and bracelets and necklaces layered over necklaces  i imagine now that they’re at messina she’s always rigging up aerial silks in their living room and conrad is like this is not Proper Apparatus you are going to Kill Yourself and also Die and she’s just, straight up dangling from the ceiling. but ya??? i’m actually super attached to her whoa

tbd: chandler york, elena delgado, jasmine ducasse, cora kelly

[mei-criticalpractice-blog]

Fight Club Analysis

The movie “Fight Club” by David Fincher is an excellent example of postmodernist films. The film begins with an unnamed narrator, whom we later learn through credits as “Jack”, seated with a gun in his mouth, held by Tyler Durden in a place that seems like an office building. The voiceover explains that they are expecting an explosion around them, and the scene shifts to a testicular cancer support group that Jack is in because of his insomnia. He encounters a woman named Marla Singer at the group, who also seems to be cancer-free, and he wants to avoid her. He then meets Tyler Durden, a soap salesman on a business trip. The two later goes to a bar together, and started fighting when they left. After the fight, Jack goes to live with Tyler and they fight everyday. Jack shows up to work everyday with bruises all over his body, and his boss is gradually becoming very unhappy with him. At the same time, Jack and Tyler started a “fight club” at the basement of the bar where they had their first fight, and it’s attracting more and more lower class men who want to fight out their everyday frustration in life. As fight club grows larger, Tyler started a new plan called “Project Mayhem”. Later it was revealed that Tyler was a mere projection of Jack’s mind, and they are actually the same person. The main goal of Project Mayhem was to blow up the headquarters of several major credit card companies, so that the debt record could be erased. Jack tries to stop this, and we go back to the scene we first began with. Jack finally rid his mind of Tyler at the gunpoint however, the building still blew up to pieces.

One of the main themes in postmodernism films is consumerism. This theme is very apparent in “Fight Club”. Happiness by youth, power, and wealth advertised everywhere was questioned. People worked jobs just to keep up the appearance of a “perfect” life, are actually deeply unhappy. And they do not have a way to express their unhappiness, except to buy more marketed goods to make themselves feel better. Tyler said “Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.”

^This was the scene in office where everyone was drinking Starbucks, showing the power of advertising and big corporations.

^The Ikea catalogue which Jack buys all his furniture from strengthens the commentary on consumerism.

Moreover, there was an obsession with beauty in the America in the movie. People are obsessed with dressing fashionably, having a nice shape, being well-spoken, and etc. This further suggest almost as if humans were being presented shelf products and are trying to sell themselves.

Another postmodernist theme in fight club is intertextuality. For example, the house on paper street can be seen as a reference to “The House by the Railroad” by American painter Edward Hopper, whose style is very dark, and always depicts isolation and loneliness in his paintings.

A reference was made to the movie “Forrest Gump” when Tyler said “Run, Forrest, Run”, after he had threatened to kill the clerk. Using this reference in this circumstance seems weird and makes us question Tyler’s mental condition. 

Furthermore, the warning from Tyler at the beginning of the film breaks the fourth wall, and makes audiences interact with the film. This creates simulation, a lack of sense of reality to the real world.

[f05erxay-blog]

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[booksbroadwaybbc]

Do you feel lost in life? Try a Life Audit via /r/selfimprovement

Do you feel lost in life? Try a Life Audit

I heard this term today and it made me interested, so I started to do a little research on the subject. If you Google it you will likely read about writing things on post-it notes, which is great, but the purpose of this post is just to get you thinking about the life you want versus the life you have. How you document, organize, and track the changes you want to make is up to you. You can do post-it notes, spreadsheets, write them down on a piece of paper, use an app, whatever works for you.

I see so many people lost in life, not really knowing what to do, where to go, or how to proceed. I think it is good to organize all of the parts of your life and think about how you can improve them. Below is a list of areas to get you started, and some questions to ask yourself.

Mental Health

How is your mental health? Are you happy? Depressed? Fulfilled? Lonely? When I looked at my mental health a year ago I didn't feel happy even though I had everything going for me.

The first step was recognizing that I was, in fact, depressed and yes there were things I could do about it.

Next I came up with an action plan, did a little research on what to do about depression and set out to accomplish some of those tasks. I told myself I'd talk to my doctor about medications, start exercising more, write in a journal, meditate, etc.

Then comes the follow through. Go through your list (whether written or in your mind), find the easiest thing to do and start there. Go down your list and at least try to accomplish all of the items. If you never try, you will never change.

Last is to maintain. It's easy to go to the gym once, or even for a week. The hard part is keeping at it. The more you do it the more you'll enjoy it. Same with meditating. If you only do it once or twice you might not get that much out of it, you have to stick with it. Remember these things are life changes, not just changes you'll make for a week.

Physical Fitness

I think there is a larger link between mental and physical health than what a lot of people believe. I've noticed a significant increase to my mood, energy level, and mental health since I started to get into shape. There have been so many studies proving the benefits of exercise, it can't be ignored. I get that some people aren't athletic or can't afford a gym, and sometimes it's just plain hard to make yourself do it when you're depressed or tired. But there are a million ways to get exercise. Find at least one thing you can do a few times a week just to get your body moving, even if it is just going for a walk. Find something you at least somewhat enjoy and can stick with indefinitely.

I started doing yoga, which is very uncharacteristic for me since I'm an older dude, not flexible at all, and I look horrible in yoga pants ;). I struggled with doing it and enjoying it at first, but I recognized I really it could really help with my stiffness and back pain so I stuck with it. I still suck at it but my pain is gone.

Nutrition

You can probably do a whole audit on nutrition alone. You've heard people say you are what you eat, and I can definitely notice a difference in my physical and mental well being when I eat more healthy. I noticed I started to develop some bad habits nutritionally, and they were easy to fix. For me, pop, beer, and sugary beverages was such a waste of calories and money. I made myself get used to drinking old fashioned H2O with most of my meals and I really don't miss the sugary stuff. Now when I'm thirsty and want something sweet I get a glass of water and a piece of fruit. Look for the things in your diet that have empty calories or you only eat out of habit, and swap them with something more healthy.

If you really want to audit your diet, log everything you eat in a typical day with my fitness pal or something similar. Even if you aren't trying to lose weight it can give you your macros and vitamins, it can really be an eye opener. Like wow I was eating 3x my recommended amount of sodium every day, no wonder I always felt so bloated.

Relationships

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in ourselves we forget about what we mean to other people. Look at all of the relationships in your life and ask yourself some of these types of questions.

Do I enjoy spending time with this person?

Are you supportive of each other?

Do they make you feel special, and do you try to make them feel special?

Do they help with good habits or fuel your bad habits?

Is it a 2-sided relationship or is one person doing most of the work?

Identify the people in your life that you should be spending more time with and the people you should be spending less time with. I've noticed some people tend to drag me down and other make me feel better about myself. Don't forget to communicate if you can identify any issues, if you can't talk to them about it then it's not a healthy relationship.

Career

This can be a tough one, but is an essential area where it helps to have goals. Not everyone needs to love their job, but it should at least give you a sense of accomplishment, be somewhat fulfilled, and pay the bills. If you really hate it, start looking at others.

If you are at least content, think about your 2, 5, 10 year goals. Think about where you want to be. Do you want to make more money but maybe have more stress, or are you fine where you are? Observe other people and identify the jobs you think you would like, and figure out how to get there.

I've known a lot of people who have hated their careers and started over, or who came from nothing and worked their way to the top. To get ahead you don't necessarily need to be smarter or better, you just need to work harder.

If you have no idea what you want to do, that could be a whole separate audit. Identify what you enjoy and what you're good at. You don't even have to be good at it it you find it interesting enough, choose a path and follow it.

Finance

Yet another area in my life where I did a complete audit. I made a budget, analyzed all of my expenses and income. I looked at every single thing on there and tried to determine how I could save a bit more money.

I researched cell phone plans and changed mine, and saved about $60 a month. I looked into auto insurance and saved a little money there. I looked at my cable/wifi bill and called to switch companies if they didn't give me a better deal, saved almost $100 a month there. I even went over all the numbers on my paychecks and realized I was being underpaid. Once I got out of debt I started using a rewards credit card on most of my expenses, and with the points and sign up bonus I probably got an extra $1000 this year just for paying for things a different way. Finally kicked some bad habits that was even more money saved. I switched bank accounts to one that gave better interest and refunded ATM fees. Boom, all of those little things really added up.

Goals

I spent a long time just living life one day at a time. Sometimes you have to step back and look at the bigger picture. Do you have the life you want? What is it that you really want? Do you want to get married, get a bigger house, get a nicer car, travel the world? Make a bucket list or a vision board, anything. Give yourself something to strive for, something to look forward to. Once you can picture your dreams and goals come up with an action plan. Your goals can be 1 day, 1 week, 1 year, 5 years, etc. It's totally okay to update your goals whenever you feel like it. Sometimes life will present opportunities, and it's up to you which path you choose to follow.

Habits

Last but definitely not least I will talk about habits and addictions. If you suffer from any addictions they are the #1 top priority you need to audit. Addictions can run your life, they can change the way you think, they can take over your thoughts and goals. I have had many addictions in my life but I will use smoking cigarettes as an example. It was so hard to focus on life when all I could think was when I'd have another smoke. It was harmful to all of the important parts of life; they were expensive, they were bad for my health, they took over my mind mentally, and in social situations I was always thinking about how I would sneak out for a smoke. Once I quit I was finally able to take control of my life again, and I told myself I would never have another one ever.

Habits are similar, they can be tough to break but you can also have good habits. Think about your habits that may not be smart or healthy and do something else instead. Try to develop a good routine. For me now, drinking a glass of water in the morning and working out after work are almost as routine as showering and brushing my teeth. I don't make it optional. I love routines, they help organize my life, like rules. Do everything in moderation, treat yourself on occasion and learn to appreciate the little things again.

Submitted November 08, 2018 at 08:23PM by SpartEng76 via reddit https://ift.tt/2PkQPgc

[glimpse-0f-insanity]

Glimpse-0f-failure

When I was younger I pictured how my life was going to turn out: 1. Go to College 2. Graduate & Go To Vet School 3. Get a Job at a Zoo 4. Get my own place 5. Make a lot of Money 6. Fall in Love 7. Get Married 8. Have two kids My whole life was planned out. But then again I was young, naive, and a dreamer. So when my life started taking some detours I kept on telling myself, it’s just a minor set back. I can get back on track. Well was I wrong. This is how my life actually went. Step 1 & 2 I got accepted to college and it was amazing. I was finally going to be the first person in my family to go to college. I was going to graduate and start my life. I flunked out of college. NEVER had a failed anything in my life. But here I was failing at least one class per semester. Ultimately, sealing my fate and getting the boot. But this also came with a second feeling. It was how my family looked at me. They looked at me with disgust. In their mind they were struggling to pay for my college education and here I was “just having a good time.” They no longer looked at me as a success they looked at me as a joke. This stuck with me until this day making me hate myself. I was stupid. I was a failure. I wasn’t good enough. I was a joke. Step 3 Having never finished I wasn’t able to apply to vet school. And thus never get my dream job. And once I got kicked out of school all the loan companies wanted a lot more money. I had my parents on my case and always making side comments how they put so much money and time into me and how I wasted it all. So that’s when I applied for a job. I went to the interview and waited to hear back from them. Oh, did I hear back they said thanks but no thanks. This sent me more into a depression. How could I not get the job to shovel and clean shit from cats & dogs. A couple months went by and then I got a call it was the place I interviewed at. They wanted to hire me. Needing a job and my parents to get off my case I took it. The job wasn’t hard and the boss liked me. I later found out that they went with someone else for the job and that person ended up being a nightmare so I was hired out of necessity. Big confidence boost for me. I later went through two additional bosses. This new boss was amazing. She knew so much and she was empowering us to do other things. She taught us how to give vaccinations and how to diagnose an animal. It was amazing. Here I am giving vaccines, pulling blood, making medications, diagnosing animals, etc. I’m feeling good. Then my boss comes to me and says that I should become an Animal Control officer because we needed one and she would give me the job. So I go and pay for the class with my own money and then apply for the job. A month later they tell me they went with someone else who had more experience. I was once again crushed. But I told myself it make sense. Then a week later I find out from my boss that they didn’t go with me had nothing to do with experience. Here I was busting my ass. Doing things that weren’t my job. Making sure that everything got done and you tell me this shit. A few months go by and a person gets fired so my boss then hires me for the position once again out of necessity. I once again took the new position because it was more money. Fast forward a little bit and I was yet again having to deal with a new boss. With this new one I was on top of the world. My boss treated me with respect and actually gave a shit about my opinion. I got so many more responsibilities. It was amazing, but as time went on I started seeing my boss start dropping the ball and not being able to actually handle the job and there was always a lie or excuse. So I started hating the job and despising the job. And to put the cherry on top the person who was originally hired first over me was a complete mess. They constantly made mistakes and their judgment calls were borderline dangerous. You went with this person over me! The only thing that made it a bit decent was that I got to work closer with our vet. She taught me so much and let me sit in surgeries. It turned out that at her hospital there was going to be an opening for a vet tech and she asked me if I wanted the job. Of course I said yes. HELLO!!! This would help me get back on track to my original plan. But this isn’t a story of happy endings. This is a story of reality. I walked into the hospital and get introduced to a new employee. No hey we decided to go with someone else, nothing. Step 4 Not going to college and not getting a job I wanted just left me in depressed state of mind. Not to mention my parents constant reminder that I was a failure. I needed something to make my life better. So when my parent’s 2nd floor apartment opened up a lightbulb went off. To make matters better they gave me a discount & utilities included and said they rather have me up their because I wouldn’t trash the apartment and it would be actually less utilities being used in the long run. Well I hopped on that opportunity. After a week living in it my mother just complained and complained. She said that my dogs made to much noise (mind you all they were doing was walking around or chewing on a bone); that my dogs cried & barked too much in the crate (mind you they made exactly the same amount of noise when we lived in the basement); and that I complained too much about broken things (mind you I was telling her what her old tenants broke that need to be replaced); etc. We constantly fight about and she even says that her biggest mistake was giving me the apartment. So instead of this place turning out to be a place where I could be myself and live on my own instead it was just another fight another headache another reason to make me hate myself and depressed. Step 5 So with my new position my pay increased immensely. I doubled my hourly pay. Then on top of that with all the overtime I was working I was basically get paid two salaries. My student loans, credit card bills, rent, internet & cable bills, etc. all of them were nothing. $300 dollars for you $500 for you $900 for you no bid deal. My bills were starting to get smaller and smaller. And now that I just got this apartment renovating and furnishing it would be no biggie. I would be able to do it all. Then once again I got shot down really quick. They cut my overtime almost entirely. So now my credit card bills that I could pay off with one paycheck now needed 6, plus rent and cable/internet, which needed a whole paycheck alone, and do even get me started on the student loans. My debt and anxiety rose higher. This apartment was killing me. And makes me think well maybe if I got rid of it I could recover from my immense debt. Step 6, 7, 8 So coming from a very controlling and overbearing judgmental parents the moment I went off on my own was when I would be able to find love. I was always a romantic person and just loved the idea of love. My last relationship was when I was 13. Does it even count? I ask myself the same question. At that time it felt like it did. Well regardless that relationship now that I’m older was just a hot mess. My gf and I were toxic for each other. One day we were together the next broken up over the most ridiculous reasons. Well we eventually broke up because she was transferring schools and it was a messy one. The next year I found out that she had a new boyfriend and that she lost her virginity to him. I felt jealous so I started a lie about a fake girlfriend. I made it pretty convincing. Everyone believed and never questioned. The reality was that I was actually discovering my sexuality. I started developing feelings for guys. I was also teased and bullied for being not “manly” enough. Just because I didn’t like the same shows or like sports I must be gay and was ridiculed and tormented for it. So in my head this new feeling that started surfacing was not good and needed to stay hidden. It was time to apply for high school so when my teacher and my parents both wanted me to go to one of the best private ALL BOY SCHOOL I was totally against it. If I went there then I would totally be gay (Now mind you this is what little 14 year old me thought at that time). All I could think was that I liked girls, I liked girls, I liked girls, but I also found guys attractive. But I ended up going to the high school anyway because it was a good school after all. Well as the years went on and being around attractive guys just about everyday I started liking them more and more. I still kept it a secret and still felt ashamed about because of how some of my friend reacted to guys who were gay or in my case who were bisexual. Not to mention of how I kept the lie about having a girlfriend going. My senior year my friend came out to me and told me he actually liked me. Me being an attention whore and horny teenage boy fed off of it. I would flirt with him and string him along. I even let him suck my dick multiple times. He eventually told someone at school. And of course it was the person with the biggest mouth and when they called me to confirm it I quickly denied it. I quickly turned it around that my friend was just obsessed with me and making up these lies and utterly destroyed him all to protect myself because I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that I was bisexual. After I graduated my other close friend came out to me and I finally decided to tell him that I was bisexual and like a leopard who can’t change heir spots I decided to make up a fake boyfriend. When I went to college I decided to stick with the fake girlfriend story for a while. Then when one of the girls on my floor broke up with her boyfriend I decided that me and my girlfriend would break up. How convenient right? Well she ended up dating some other guy on my floor. So now I had no fake girlfriend and no real one. So I decided to go back to the fake boyfriend story. It wasn’t until my junior year that I started to enjoy college. I had good friends and then there was the new kid. He was beautiful, a goof, flirty, a dork, everything I loved. Every time we hung out he would flirt back with me. He had no girlfriend but I still wasn’t sure if he liked guys. It wasn’t until a party we were at and he and I got drunk did I finally say yes. At these parties every time he would get very handsy with me. He would sit me on his lap and press me down on him or feel me up. He was so attracted to guys right? One day he said he had a secret to tell me but he didn’t feel comfortable to tell it. So me being such a brilliant person (sarcasm if you couldn’t tell) decided to tell him my secret about my fake relationships hoping he would tell me his. Instead his secret ended being not that he was attracted to men, but instead to older women. My world was crushed. Here I am thinking that this guy who I genuinely like also has some sort of feelings but it was all in my head. He wasn’t attracted to me he was just a flirty person who was secure with his sexuality. That same year I also got to meet a foreign exchange student from Ireland was was cute and gay. SCORE!!! He accompanied me to his first frat party and we both got drunk to the point where we made out and he was feeling up and down the entire night. This went on at every frat party. He would tell me he liked me and I would do the same. So one day when my friend and I were talking to him about the frat parties and stuff and wondering if he would remember anything he said no. He said he would black out and didn’t remember anything at all. Once again this guy that I was starting to develop feelings for only drunk liked me. So I just ultimately felt like I would never find someone who I liked and like me in return so instead I decided to keep the fake boyfriend alive. A fake boyfriend is better than none? Right? So that dream I had of my life being the perfect fairytale never becoming reality. Instead I’m broken. I’m a mess. I’m a joke. I’m a compulsive liar. I’m second choice. I’m stressed. I’m alone. I’m a virgin. I’m unhappy. I’m depressed. I’m at a low. I’m ashamed. I’m scared. I’m angry. I’m in over my head. I’m a waste. I’m a hypocrite. I’m an ass. I’m a disappointment. I AM A FAILURE.

[lettingspencerjbzo569-blog]

Sites For Sale Dublin - An Overview

Referral Reputation usually means that you have ceased the daily grind of trying to sell/buy houses. You become inactive, however if you stage somebody who wants to purchase or sell a house for the realestate company, you obtain a percentage of their commission. Say goodbye to pleasure and leisuretime. Here's a week: • Friday. Mailings, customer searching. CHAPTER 6: THE CLIENTS CHAPTER 5: THE "Oldtimers" This provider that "hired" you will now send one to a training "school" (all these are organizations which, to get a price tag, educate you on exactly concerning the actual estate business and allow you to pass their state necessary evaluation). Here is 2 months of classes that have related to the career. At several occasions during the week, then you're going to receive yourself a two hour stints. The idea is the fact that clients will call in looking for a realtor since they've a house they need to purchase. I'd suppose that this has occurred after in the history of authentic estate. The majority phone calls to the oldtimers. You did not think such a thing was liberated, did you? Here's the rundown about charges: If you are lucky enough to find someone to express they will use one to offer their own house, you need to know that their house is worth much more than the one three doors down which is exactly the same. Exactly why? I don't understand. They're delusional. Maybe they're dumb. Maybe they're covetous. Maybe they're upside-down on the house. Maybe they just want the money. It is probably each of the above. • Thursday. No Thing is needed. Here is your weekend, enjoy. Don't spend money there's no necessity it. I'm sure it is different in YOUR area, however, and so they're telling you the facts when they state so... When I say "old timers", I am speaking to the agents which happen to be at office for over the usual year. Since they assume one to really be absent in a month or two they are going to make eye contact at 1st and so they don't really need to waste their period. Once you've been there for 2 weeks, they'll start providing you with the "prospect" to sit down in their receptive houses on these. What they're actually asking you to do is sit in a house for 3 hours that no 1 will visit, and basically sell it to get these, to the offchance that you can find yourself a client from it. • Business cards. They are free! Well, sort of. The basic, crappy versions are free, the ones which scream "I am new for the!" You've got to pay for to get ones that are nice, using a film, and also you've got to pay for the movie. You will probably be asked to fundamentally alienate everybody by begging for referrals, you realize and make situations. Events, church, college, the gymnasium - everywhere...that you need to be angling for house customers or house vendors. It is horribly awkward for everybody concerned. Don't neglect to utilize the R pin you go! Their perfect agent is somebody who is miserable and divorced, sitting down on a heap of money money or an available field of credit, also just needs something to keep them busy. Next in line is simply, also some body who is married, sitting on an open line of credit or a pile of dollars needs something to keep them out of the house and far from their spouse. If you're not one of these two, that's OK - you'll be taken by them. It's weird to be involved a substantial financial project for someone who you realize. They will use you to buy or sell a house, but no one wants you to know their monetary business, therefore it's tough. Your family and friends might need little favors, like...they'll need all of their money back. Yes, badly. I had a relative petition when I'd give them back all of my commission if they utilized me to obtain a house. I dropped, and also the request was the nail that secured my property coffin shut. • Saturday. Mandatory coaching...every day. Done with all the mandatory 15-week coaching? Start off education that repeats that which they taught you in the 1-5 week training! CHAPTER 7: Your Lifetime AS a Realtor • Associations. The County Realtor Affiliation. It's mandatory that you combine it. It costs money...every yr. Their State Realtor Affiliation. It's mandatory that you join it. It charges income...each calendar year. The National Realtor Association. It's mandatory that you combine it. It charges money...each calendar year. Combine this organization. Join this organization. You will secure a publication, and possibly even a snaredown. It's all mandatory, and it all costs money. They have complimentary biscuits at the conferences however. • Tuesday. In-house coaching, or "just how to squander 3 stable hours of prime job time." I am 1 man. The Realtor's affiliation is a conglomerate that has lawyers around the payroll. My brother in law is an attorney...however I still feel outnumbered. So you're going to see that I refer to real estate agents, not Realtors. • Monday. Mandatory meetings and house tours. The meeting is more useless, and that's the reason you may rarely see old-timers there, they slough off following the house and end upward God-knows-where. They are likely at the pub. The tour is pretty fun, even even though. You have to hear everyone else whine about everything that they work with and everything from the houses. You get to stroll through a stranger's house and hear your co-workers (proudly displaying their title badges) criticize the homeowner's choices whatsoever. Cases: What were believing for this particular carpeting? Have they cleaned the particular room? Wow, those are some ugly kiddies in this picture. I can not think they abandon Prozac AND Paxil . Realestate offices are constantly listing positions, so it's easy to find an interview. As you know what, avoid being overly anxious? You are hired. This is simply not a meeting, it truly is a Peptalkabout You could walk in and inhale at the reception, you're probably hired. • real estate agent fees make you the "Realtor" pin. This really is. CHAPTER 3: LICENSING CHAPTER 4: Costs, FEES and FEES There are laws that state that while your certification training is taking place at a realestate office, that no one from that office may "amuse" you. Expect to get recruited. One of the instructors was a Business X manager and obtained a special interest. He required me to start open houses at high priced homes during the months of practice, introduced me to everybody at any office, took me and also took me out. The entire time, '' he spoke about how Business Y (who had sent me into this practice) was horrible, and why Company X was way superior, and definitely the place for me personally. Moral? No. Interesting? Indeed. I still went as it had been the right point to do together with the organization that delivered me. This usually means that if you own a person that wishes to market their house for $330,000 but you and everybody else understand it won't bring £250,000, you tell them which you will list it for his or her price, and after that gradually enable the price drop when people chuckle at your house. CHAPTER 2: THE INTERVIEW Bear in mind that you have two choices here: you can either become a Realtor or you can become a Realtor. Yes, you read that right. I'll make no judgments on the value of this organization, with the exception of to say that sitting through the most boring training ever nets you a tiny R pin. Absolutely nothing says I am a triumph a lot better compared to a pin using an R on it...right next to a name tag. Ethics principle #1 is "only acquire the listing." • Automobile. They'll pay for the car! No, they won't. If you are 1 among the very best 2 manufacturers, and would be happy to place a God-awful giant decal over the sides and rear of your (correctly colored) car or truck, they will pay a nominal amount to youpersonally. Why not they? It. CHAPTER 10: AFTERTHOUGHTS • Cardkey. Now you require this to access into any house that's up for sale. Yes, you have to pay for it. And also they The original source can't send it; you need to drive 30 miles to pick it up. • Tip 3: Everyone you realize will soon feign encourage when questioning your choice and making fun of you personally. I'm critical, and you know that this. You have despised with, did you not? • Office Assist. They despise you. The day that I met with Travisthat he was at the middle of a hissy-fit because somebody had murdered his Cross pen. Because it's not like that they sell them in drug stores for a few dollars, this really is clear. Yes, even they are indeed sold by them . Even the fit lasted one hour or so, and contained our manager sending a telephone message to every single agent from any office to please return the pen should they had it. Travis also maintained a watch that one would use to send out these mailings. You had to ask the precise number to get them. You will find 25 in the sheet and also you would not get three sheets when you're printing 6-8 labels. And keep in mind, exclamation points are used by top producers! Tons of these! They perform! Only an FYI. I suggest a FYI!!!! • Licensing. If you talk to a true estate corporation you choose the class and obtain licensed earlier, they will cover the class. Well, kind of. They'll pay for it, then spend the commission back out of your commission. Wait patiently, who's paid because of it then? It's true, you did. You did not think that was free, did you really? You are hated by them. • computer systems. Don't know a computer system? Do not stress, no one else can. Everybody I worked with was horrible with any instrument that is technology-related, although idon't know why. They needed help and the PC's were always down having a virus of some kind. • Sunday. No more football matches, family picnics, etc.. as you require to take a seat in Open Houses. This is my narrative. Don't let it change your mind if you want to goes into the world of residential property estate. I had a previous property agent explain to me what a idea that it was and that I went together with my program that is idiotic. • Mailings. I lucked out with firm Y, and they also cover for mailings. This means the marketing stuff are provided by them and they pay the postage for a certain total be sent out. A Rottweiler protected speeches you might send mail to's database at our office, a man I will phone Travis. Travis was exceptionally tan year-round, with hair, also he had been dressed as a 1970's JC Penny mannequin daily. If he was homosexual, I don't understand, however that I bet that his boyfriend had been. Whenever there are not enough newbies at your office, they will battle over your house-sitting attempts, and may even offer you income (do not get excited, I'm speaking about $20.) Get paid '' I never did get taken care of out helping someone. • Hint 1: There is a ton of income being produced in real real estate. It is just not likely to be made by you. In truth, a lot of it's actually going to emerge FROM you. The real estate companies themselves earn an obscene sum of money in part by fighting folks through their "apps" and spitting them out using emptier pockets. CHAPTER 9: "ETHICS" (note quote marks) •The Multi-List Technique. You simply cannot be a actual real estate representative without even access into this MLS. It must be free? No. CHAPTER 8: "Assist" (note quote marks) • Tip two: There's not any wages. Make sure that you have enough money in the bank to eat and pay your bills for 6 months. And start searching for a occupation that is actual . By the time you get it, then you're going to be out of money. I landed a position at a company 6 weeks and one day out of the day of my lay-off. When it was not for Un Employment, I would have already been living in a cardboard box awaiting for the real estate profession. You are hated by them. • Your web site. The business has set a page up to get you in the website, you require to fill it using useless ideas that no 1 cares about, such as "resident of (our overall spot) for umpteen years" along with Realtor and also "person in (Our County) Real Estate Club. None of that can help them or you, however, it does fill the webpage, even though no 1 can appear at it. It's possible to place up a picture . Whatever you have to do is pick up the telephone, tell the business telephone number and their title and where they're searching. What exactly is? NOW it's payday. I understand people who made on referrals than I did as a real estate agent, many occasions around. You didn't think that was liberated, although there's a charge to become from the app, did you? Also to remain "referral status" you require to take ongoing coaching. • Signs. Big signs, indicators, plastic signs, metal signs, name signs, for sale signs, open house signals. You've got to have them, you need to cover these, plus so they cost tens of thousands of dollars. • Name tag. Great information is absolutely free. The awful news, you have to put on a name label. Back after I experienced a real project, '' I knew a gentleman who always said "In case a man must put on a name label throughout his job, he is not so profitable." I'd a gorgeous Ford Mustang GT when I got this "job". I purchased it because I had been told that you need to take your clients all over the spot to view houses. Out together with the sport car, in addition to the Volvo station wagon (at the horrible corporate shade, needless to say.) As it turns out, no 1 wants to ride with their real estate agent; they want to follow you about. This is for many reasons: that they could escape you when they need, so they may discuss the houses without you hearing them (even though you are not their trusted adviser)...oh, plus they despise you. I truly overlook that Mustang. • Wednesday. "Twilight" open houses. This means that your nighttime is shot. How does one make matters? You will get their country included! CHAPTER 1): SOME Swift Rookie 'S TIPS • totally free trips! 5 years from now, if you beat perform hrs ALL the likelihood and sell all that you buy near, you may possibly find yourself a complimentary journey. Don't hold your breath.