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[iannmin]

3:32 am

Pairing: Idol! San x Idol! Reader

Synopsis: being an idol isn’t easy, in fact, especially more so for the both of you when a late-night snack is in need

I slipped into the convenience store just before 4 a.m., the familiar chime of the doorbell announcing my arrival. The cool air conditioning and the low hum of the fluorescent lights create a soothing backdrop to our nightly escapade. I scan the aisles and spot San, who is already here, attempting to blend in. With his black beanie pulled low and his long black-leathered coat enveloping him like a cloak of invisibility, he resembles a character from a low-budget spy movie.

“Hey,” I whisper as I approach. His dimpled smile is both mischievous and reassuring, making me laugh despite the hour.

“Hey,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. He gestures toward the snack aisle with a grand, exaggerated sweep of his hand, as if unveiling a hidden treasure chest. “Shall we?”

We venture down the aisles together, picking out snacks with the seriousness of treasure hunters. Every so often, we exchange furtive glances and duck into aisles when another customer appears. Our attempts at subtlety are anything but smooth. When a middle-aged man with a shopping basket full of milk and bread turns the corner, we both instinctively dive into the nearest aisle, nearly knocking over a display of instant noodles. I stifle a giggle as San huddles behind a tower of canned beans, peeking out with exaggerated caution. “Is it safe?” I whisper dramatically.

San squints towards the aisle. “I think so. But we should probably avoid the deli section. It’s too risky.”

We continue our mission, occasionally bumping into each other as we reach for the same snack. Each accidental brush of our hands sends a spark of excitement through me, but also a jolt of panic when we hear a distant rustling. We exchange alarmed glances and quickly retreat to the candy aisle, where we hide behind a display of chocolate bars.

“Mission impossible,” I whisper, “but with better snacks.”

San bursts into a fit of suppressed laughter, nearly toppling over a stack of gum. “Exactly. We’ll be legends in the convenience store underworld.”

As we edge closer to the checkout, the store remains nearly empty, save for a lone cashier engrossed in a book, apparently oblivious to our stealthy maneuvers. We take our place in line, trying to look as casual as possible while simultaneously checking for any signs of recognition.

San places our items on the counter with a flourish, his dramatic movements contrasting sharply with the cashier’s sleepy indifference. As the cashier rings up our snacks, San leans in and whispers, “Do you think anyone’s ever noticed us?” I shake my head, trying not to laugh. “Doubtful. We’re just two ordinary snack enthusiasts trying not to look suspicious.”

The cashier finishes bagging our items, and San takes the bags with a theatrical bow, his tone rising to a mock-heroic level. “Thank you, kind sir,” he says. “Your service has been invaluable. We shall speak of this night in hushed tones.”

We hustle out to the parking lot, glancing around with exaggerated caution as if we’re in a high-stakes spy film. The cool night air is a welcome relief from the store’s chill. As we walk briskly to the car, we both burst into laughter, unable to contain the amusement of our covert operation.

Once we’re in the car and the bags of snacks are stowed, San starts the engine. The drive to our next destination is filled with easy banter and shared laughter. We talk about everything from the questionable taste of some of our snack choices to hypothetical scenarios where we become snack connoisseurs for a living.

By the time we reach our destination, I’m laughing so hard I nearly forget why we’re here. The thrill of our secret outings, combined with the comedic antics of our attempts to avoid detection, make these moments feel magical. It’s a reminder that even in the smallest, most mundane situations, there’s a special joy to be found.

[onsunnyside]

💤. 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 | Stalker!Ari Levinson x reader (College AU)

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | DARK THEMES AND ELEMENTS, SMUT - minors DNI, NON-CON, DARK!Ari Levinson, stalking, implied drugging. College IT!Ari, camboy!Ari, outcast!Ari, size difference: 6’8!Ari. non-consensual filming & posting, perving, somnophilia, dirty talk, daddy kink, dry humping, size kink, masturbation (f & m), slight cumplay. 

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | Beware the quiet ones.

𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑

𝗪/𝗖 | 1.3K

𝗔/𝗡 | this is my entry for @boxofbonesfic Friday the 13th Challenge, and I picked stalker. Here’s the Pinterest board. this is my first time participating in a challenge, so i'm a little nervous, but here we go !! this is a dark fic, the warnings have been given—if you don’t like it, don’t read. all mistakes are my own. [all asks & drabbles]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 & 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲: @𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

˗ˏˋ𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭ˎˊ˗ ⋰˚ 𝐂.𝐄. & 𝐂𝐨. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

“I’ll call you when it’s fixed or if anything c-comes up…” 

You nod, quickly gathering your things. His throat tightens, fingers itching for yours. “I-I could walk you home, I don’t have any more appointments today.” 

“It’s fine. I live on campus.” 

“But it’s getting dark—”

“I’m okay.” You repeat firmly, softening the blow with a smile, “but thank you, Ari, I appreciate it.” 

You don’t give him another chance to protest and leave. When you step out, the smell of rain engulfs you, cool air washing away any traces of him, but your goosebumps never leave. 

Whatever. At least it’s done. 

You flip up your hood and start the short trek home, forcing yourself not to glance back—even though you just know he’s watching from the window. 

Desperate times called for desperate measures, and since your coursework list was neverending, you had no choice but to book an appointment with the IT department. One click, one stupid click on a link was all it took for your laptop to go haywire and then completely unresponsive. 

You couldn’t afford to miss another deadline, even if that meant sitting face-to-face with the campus outcast. 

Nothing was wrong with being alone or preferring solitude, but Ari had a strange energy around him. It was suffocating and unsettling, either too quiet, too friendly, or too close. 

There weren’t many places for him to hide with his towering height and broad stature, yet he blended in almost too naturally, adapting to the surrounding space as if he belonged there—when that was far from the truth. He didn’t belong anywhere, regardless of how hard he tried to pretend so.

The only tell was the feeling of being watched. 

His blue eyes set in steely glare, dissecting you like one of those dead specimens on the aluminum tray.  

You had a lab with him one year, and you remember the shivers crawling up your spine when he smiled and made his way over. You thank the universe every day that Natasha slid into the free chair and asked very loudly if you’d be her partner.  

“He’s a fucking weirdo.” Natasha grumbled in disgust, glaring at his retreating back, “I don’t have to know him to know he’s into freaky shit.”

Rumours were always just gossip, ill judgment spreading around like wildfire but at this point, you’d believe anything about him, anything to fill that empty void of unease.

Was there any proof that he was into fucked up shit? Or that he was a dark web lurker or a disgusting pervert? No, but your gut told you to flee whenever he was around and that was enough.

Ari was a proud introvert, an odd balance between shy and awkwardly friendly. A small part of you pities him—the different, nerdy reject shrouded in alleged disturbed mystery. You’d never admit it but he was devilishly handsome and in an alternative dimension, he’d be exactly your type. 

In any other classes you shared, you purposefully arrived late so he couldn’t sit next to you and so far,  it’s kept him at bay. You felt weird around him but so did everyone else. 

If there were something truly wrong with him, all of those lingering suspicions would’ve exposed him by now, or at least that’s what you tell yourself.

It was easy to blame everything on stress, the pressure of school and your impending future weighing heavy on your shoulders. Like most lonely nights, you dive into the virtual passions of the Internet. 

With earbuds in, you scroll through the profiles, your gaze lingering on the lewd photos and biographies. One catches your attention, a little red ‘Top Hot 20’ pinned by the username and a teasing picture of flexed abs and a dark happy trail. You read over his most recent videos: 

Jerking off and cumming in library (almost caught) – public masturbation

Eating sleeping girlfriend’s wet pussy – puffy clit, spitting, pussy slapping

You tap on the last one:

Dry humping girlfriend while she sleeps – dirty talk, cum shot

Clean runners softly pad on the carpet floor, the blanket is pulled back and exposes the girl’s backside. The dim flash barely illuminates her body, just an outline of her figure bathed in the moonlight. His big hand caresses her thighs, wasting no time in rubbing over her core. 

Almost in a trance, you replicate his motions, tracing over your clothed slit as a quiet breath flutters from your lips, drowned out by his heavy groan.

“Look at you, all ready for daddy…” He rasps, his words slurred, “You knew what I needed tonight, huh?” He touches her petals, spreading the panty-clad folds, “Such a cute little pussy, Want me to fuck you?”  

She sleepily rocks against his hand and he laughs, silencing her murmurs with a hand on her back. He manhandles her as he pleases, tossing pillows and blankets to the floor before straddling the back of her thighs.

You exhale and dip your fingers beneath the band of your underwear, seeking that needy bundle. Tingles fill your tummy while you circle your hole, gathering your juices up to your clit. 

His fist squeezes his base and slides up to the angry red tip, smearing the pearly dribbles with his thumb. He’s thick and long, veins protruding from the smooth girth before disappearing under his bushy pubic hair. He grinds against her ass, his pre cum leaking all over her panties.

“You’re so fucking wet, I can smell you.” 

With heavy groans, he rocks against her and the camera shakes. Primal thrusts slide his solid cock between her cheeks, staining the poor cotton. His big hand lands a series of harsh spanks, they’re so hard you feel the burning sensation too. 

You fuck yourself with your fingers in time with his grinds and whine, imagining his fat length rubbing against you just like that. 

“One of these days I’m gonna rub my sack all over your cunt. Get you all messy.” A forceful thrust sends the girl sliding a few inches up the bed. “Awh, you dropped your stuffie, little dummy.” He reaches out of the frame and returns with a stuffed animal. 

It takes you less than a second to recognize the black and white spots. To your horror, he places the stuffie on a pillow and pets the head right between the small horns. 

“There we go, gotta make sure Milky is watching. You gonna be quiet for me now, baby?” He laughs, “oh, why am I even asking? It’s not like you can wake up anyway.” 

Your heart plummets to the ground, shattering every layer of the Earth until falling into the endless oblivion of space.

“Can’t wait to fuck your ass, maybe I’ll do it while you’re sleeping, just like how I ate your cute cunt.” He spits, roughly groping her—your flesh, “bet you woke up all sore. Was wondering why you were so sensitive, like someone tortured your pussy.” He curses lowly and his hips stutter,  “sorry for bein’ so mean. You make me into a fucking animal.” 

All air is yanked from your body when his cum spurts out, covering your panties and lower back. He groans shamelessly, jerking off with his own seed to expel every last drop before pulling down the back of your stained panties. He rubs it into your skin like a sick claim of ownership. 

“I love you so much, baby. You have no fuckin’ clue.”

Despite the lightheadedness, you scroll to the comments. Every blink momentarily focuses your blurry vision on the bright screen: 

Cute stuffed animal lol

should’ve taken her panties off. I wanted to see that pretty pussy

damn, she’s knocked out cold. How does she sound when she’s awake?

MrSinister: absolutely divine. She’ll be awake in my next video, I promise.

𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: my oh my 🫡 i feel very dirty, like i need to physically scrub my brain from this whore behaviour. happy Saturday besties.

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞! be sure to check out the other fics for bones' challenge !!

As always, I hope you all enjoyed this and I’d love to hear your thoughts/feedback !! <3 — ☼ 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐊𝐨-𝐟𝐢 ☼

I don’t do taglists anymore. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 & 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲: @𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

[byuljoonie]

Brooklyn Baby // Pedro Pascal

Yeah my boyfriend’s pretty cool, but he’s not as cool as me

pairing: dom!pedro x fem!reader

genre: small drabble, unedited

word count: 444

warnings: fluff, kissing, teasing, lil age gap

note: PLZ ik this is a kpop oriented acc, but I want to write about what comes to mind and rn what comes to mind is HIM. God forbid a woman have hobbies, lol maybe I should stop re-watching Narcos🕴🏾- dubu♡

“I am going to eat your soul, and shit it out LESNICKI,” the TV screamed loudly, your eyes widening in delight as you watched your favorite movie for the millionth time.

You were getting ready for a night out with your boyfriend, and the only thing comforting enough to fill the silence of your apartment was the sound of a horror film. Your obsession with horror movies stemmed from an early age, but it’s one of the many quips Pedro loves about you.

You could talk for hours about your favorite movies, quoting lines like a most prestigious dork award was to be given after your efforts. He could send you tumbling over in laughter one minute, but have you writhing under him the next.

He used his talent to his advantage, what could he say? Someone as beautiful as you decided to give him a chance. While you were questioning your luck the entire first date.

You heard the door to your apartment open, jumping slightly when the TV simultaneously emitted a loud noise. “Y/N?” You heard his voice call you from the living room, heavy footsteps making their way deeper into your place.

“Almost ready!” You stood up from your vanity, pulling up the zipper on the black skirt you wore.

You ran to your bedroom door swinging it open in excitement. You were met with the familiar smell of his cologne, wrapping your arms around his towering frame.

“Hey sugar,” his lips stretched into a smile, leaning over to kiss you smoothly. He felt cold, the faint taste of mint and cigarettes still on his breath. You melted into the kiss, content and moving your arms to drape over his neck.

Mmm, you hummed against his lips remembering the lip gloss you just applied, sheepishly pulling away to stare at his glossy lips.

“Thanks I needed that,” he said sarcastically, wiping the lipgloss from his lips with a swipe of his thumb. Winking at you as a finale, you laughed at his expression.

“You look so handsome,” you said tugging at his suit jacket, loving the tight fitting black shirt on him. “You look like money, baby.” He kissed your hand sweetly, asking you to give him a spin. You happily complied.

“Come on we should get going,” he said grabbing your coat from the bed, watching as you bent over to put on your heels. Taking the opportunity he aggressively grabbed your ass , contemplating if you should leave after all.

“You’re right, we don’t want to miss drinks.” You insist turning around, smirking at him knowingly. He shoves his hands in his pocket, titling his head suddenly.

“Let’s not stay long.”

[probably-ren]

"You think you know me by the screen"

part 2!!

Schlatt x male reader

Summary: you finally make it to New York and the first thing you do is get sick.

Wrote most of this at 5am, sorry if its shit

Cw: use of y/n

You groan as you wake up, your head pounding as you shield your face from the light. You glance around the decently clean bedroom and immediately clock it as schlatts, the cat tower in the corner giving it away instantly.

"How'd i get inside?" you murmur, wincing as you rub your temples. Jambo happily jumps back into your lap when you sit up and you tiredly smile and scratch his head. You chuckle as the tabby cat shoves his face into your hand, begging for attention.

After a while, you eventually make your way out of his room and into the kitchen, seeing schlatt cook breakfast. He hums quietly as he cooks, a baggy t-shirt and loose sweatpants covering his frame.

"Morning" you mumble hoarsely, snickering when he jumps slightly, having not expected you.

"Morning." he grunts "you sound horrible, y/n." he chuckles.

"Mhm, m'heads killing me." you cough slightly and grab a water from his fridge, the cool liquid running down your throat soothingly.

He raises an eyebrow "migrane?" he asks.

You shrug, humming as the scent of bacon fills the kitchen and popping grease clicks on the stove, the warm food making your stomach growl softly.

"Dont think it is.. Just a slight headache- or cold.. Probably."

He comes closer to you and presses the back of his hand to your forehead "you're warm." he grunts. "Go lay on the couch, ill bring you breakfast."

You whine softly "but we're supposed to film today, its fine" you attempt to insist, your plea quickly silenced by schlatt.

"Couch. Now." he says sternly, amusement lacing his tone as he listens to your whining. "Filming comes last, your health is so much more important."

You huff but tiredly trudge over to the couch, flopping onto it and burying your face into the pillow, the calming smell of his shampoo practically infesting the soft pillow.

You feel [redacted] jump up onto your back, rendering you almost immobile until he decides to get up. You accept your fate and snuggle into the pillow more, yanwing softly and beginning to doze off slightly.

Schlatt finishes cooking and plates the bacon and eggs, grabbing an asprin for you as well. His footsteps quiet as he walks into the living room, chuckling as he sees you fast asleep, [redacted] laying on your back, soft purring coming from his body.

He chuckles slightly and sets the plate on the table beside you and picks up the black cat, setting him off to the side before gently shaking you awake. "Y/nn.." he murmurs, making you whine and bury your face into the pillow more.

"5 more minutes.."

"Wake up fuckface, i made food." he grunts, gently taking the pillow from you and chucking as you whine and reach for it.

Eventually, after smelling the warm food, you sit up quietly, rubbing your eyes sleepily as you glance at the food before taking the plate from him and putting it in your lap quietly.

Schlatt glances down at you, scanning over your features. The way your fluffy hair is messy from the pillow ignites something in his chest that he didn't know was possible. He clenches his jaw as he glances at your lips, forcing himself to look away quickly.

He reaches over and gently pushes some of the hair out of your face "How do you put up with that?" he grumbles.

You shrug softly, taking a bite of the food he cooked. "Used to it" you mumble softly.

You hadn't had food this good in a long time, you didnt really cook much at home. But this was so much better than anything you could make. "S' really good" you smile at him.

He huffs "dunno how, burnt the damn bacon cause i got distracted with jambo" he admits with a chuckle.

You shrug softly "still good."

He sighs and plops down beside you on the couch "feelin any better, man?" he asks, grabbing his phone to look at the plans he had set for today.

After a moment of silence, presumably you finishing whatever bite you were taking. You hum softly "A bit." shrugging, you glance at his phone. "What do you want to do today? Im probably good enough."

"Its not probably, dumbass. If you dont feel good we aren't doing shit." he huffs "i only film high quality videos." he grunts, excusing his behavior. "But, today i was thinking we just explore New york, go to a few shops maybe." he explains, scratching [redacted's] chin.

You hum, "im down to do that." you answer softly, your fork clinking against your plate every once in a while as you eat. "Did you eat already?" you question.

He nods, "sounds good. We could go at like.. 1 maybe?" he offers. Raising an eyebrow at your question, he shakes his head no. "Not yet, i will later. Someones gotta make sure your dumbass is fed."

You huff and narrow your eyes before stabbing a piece of egg he cooked for you and bringing the fork up to his mouth silently, waiting for him to eat it. He looks at you confused for a moment before he realizes what you're doing and slowly parts his lips, allowing you to slide it into his mouth gently. He takes the egg and eats it quietly as you pull the fork away, not noticing your gaze land on his lips for a moment before quickly darting away.

After a moment of quiet silence, ".. Thanks" he grunts softly.

"Mhm, its fine." you murmur, glancing back at your food as you take another bite "do you want the rest?" you offer "im full anyway."

He shakes his head no softly. "save it, for now."

You nod and quiet silence fills the room; Both awkward and comforting at the same time. Everything in your head was telling you that you made it weird, no friends feed each other like that. But, you just wanted to make sure he ate at least a bit.

You felt bad for not offering to split it with him in the first place- but he probably would've made himself a plate, right? Everything was so damn confusing and your head was going a hundred miles a minute.

"So we leave at 1 right?"

[somestardeww]

answer to this ask!

we all love peter parker, right? no warnings, just cuddles and pure fluff <33 reblogs are enjoyed!!

The two of you are sitting on the bed in his room in the Avengers tower and you look at the figure sitting next to you. Peter's beautiful features, the unique shape of his face and his brown eyes shine in his eyes like a star in the sky.

He is focused on the notebook in front of him, solving the questions you made; he looks so at peace like this, so focused and calm, that it fills your heart with happiness. You smile to yourself and lay your head on his shoulder, your own homework already done, to which he finally reacts and presses a kiss to your forehead, squeezing you closer to him with the arm he had already wrapped around your shoulders.

It's a late summer night, already past 7pm and the few stars that can be seen are starting to shine in the night sky. Staying in the cool, comfortable, air-conditioned room was probably the best decision you two could have made today: the heat was terrible in the morning and, let's face it, both Peter and you were too lazy to step out of the dorms to go to the library or maybe the lab, so you decided to stay in your room anyway, in a surprisingly productive (if If you consider that last time, Thor entered the room from your balcony, with cape and hammer, offering you freshly bought donuts, a situation that ended in a Star Wars movie marathon with him and your boyfriend, an afternoon full of comments and Thor laughs at the film's portrayal of space).

You sigh with a smile and continue to look up at the night sky.

When you come to your senses again, you notice that Peter is playing with your hair, twirling it around his fingers with ease.

"I finished the questions you made for me, Madam Professor Stark My Girlfriend" he says, with a playful smile on his lips which you break with a kiss, only for Peter answear by placing his thumb and index finger on your chin, gently moving your head so that you are facing him, a more comfortable position for you to kiss.

"Okay, let me correct it. Can you see my notes? It's for Spanish homework" You answer him, and kiss your boyfriend on the cheek when he takes the sheet and starts reading.

A few minutes later, you turn to him, the quiz you made for him to study in hand, with a proud smile on your face. "You got everything right! I'm a really great teacher"

He responds with a smile "And your Spanish homework is impeccable, my love" He places it on the table, turning to you, staring shamelessly, without saying anything, his eyes almost shaped in hearts as he admired you.

You look at him, placing his questionnaire on the table and turning to him too, silent like he. "What's up dear? Am I boring you?” you ask with a curious and playfull tone in your voice. Peter shakes his head and scoffs at your comment while keeping his eyes locked on yours “No, honey. No way." He says, coming closer to you, resting his forehead against yours, the two of you closing your eyes and unconsciously holding hands.

He uses the hand that is connected to yours to pull you closer, arms wrap tightly around your figure as he starts to scratch your back gently. Have his girl in his arms like that, with no one else around, was his favorite place to be, even though he never told you that directly.

Focusing his attention on you, he rubs small, gentle circles along your spine. His touch is so gentle. that makes you feel at home and protected. It is your hiding place, something you can never leave behind.

You move your head to the crook of his neck, hugging him around the waist and he does the same, and then you find yourself in an embrace that feels like home. "I love you so much, did you know that?" He says, squeezing you a little, and you can feel his contented smile in the crook of your neck.

"And I love you too" You respond, and you feel a light kiss being placed on your neck by Peter, what makes your heart skipe a beat.

[smileysuh]

- HONG JISOO

works. 4 I words. 46.8k

solo works. 0 works featuring other members. 4

Penance - Joshua I ft. Minwon & 95 line

🌿 synopsis. You’re hyper-aware of the fact that all four of your lovers are just outside the confessional, that they’re listening in- it’s making your mouth dry, your palms becoming sweaty as you rub them against your dress. “When you last confessed, you mentioned greed and lust as your sins. Would you care to elaborate more on that?” The priest asks. “Maybe it will be easier, now that you’re amongst… friends.”

tw/cw. unprotected sex, orgies, 3some, 4some, 6some, creampies/filling kink, cum play, dirty talk, praise, degradation, fucking in weird places (a tank & church & outside & bathrooms), multiple sex scenes, choking, rough handling, manhandling, blow jobs, deep throating, oral, squirting, anal, double penetration, triple penetration, masturbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, multiple orgasms, dacryphilia, overstimulation, possessiveness, sir kink, powerplay, free use subthemes, getting horny during confession, sins: lust/greed, fingering, sex as punishment/penance, jealousy, dubious consent/inclusion of a new person, spit-roasting/Eiffel tower, finger sucking, spanking, spitting, etc... I pet names: (hers) baby, beautiful princess, kitten, whore/slut, good girl, dirty girl, etc. (cheol's) sir. (gyu's) puppy. (others) etc...

🌵 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 21.2k

Filthy - Joshua I ft. Jeonghan

🌿 synopsis. There’s something long and hard rubbing against your ass, and you can’t help but pull away from Joshua to drop your favourite lawyer pickup line to the man behind you; “Is that a gavel in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?” “Both,” Jeonghan practically purs, his mouth hot against your neck. “Think you can handle it?”

tw/cw.threesome, unprotected sex, multiple sex scenes, blow job, shower sex, double penetration, butt stuff, use of a judge's gavel as an anal sex toy, lube, praise, degradation, dirty talk, spanking, cock warming, fingering, hand riding, slight roleplay, beefy/size kink Joshua, polyamory, breast play, masturbation, 'full' kink, etc... I petnames. (hers) gorgeous, baby, filthy little whore.

🌵 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 6.8k

Clowns - Joshua I ft. 95 line & Mingyu & Wonwoo

🌿 preview. you’re a sad, blue, crazy, tulle’d clown - corset and all - riding one of the most beautiful men you know, on the hood of his best friend’s car, exposed to the cool night air, under the full moon on a Halloween night while four more men watch... what could be better than this? 

cw/ tw. dark content, group sex, 6some, orgy, degradation, praise, manhandling, size kink, dirty talk, oral (f/m receiving), dacryphilia, deep throating, protected sex, fingering, squirting, parking lot exhibitionism, voyeurism, marking, horror/clowns, choking, dumbification, etc...  I pet names. squeak (50), silly/sad/stupid/messy/little clown (19+), daddy (6), etc...

🌵 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 13.3k

Splashed - Joshua I ft. Jeonghan

🌿 synopsis. Your boyfriends get home from filming, and Joshua is not pleased with Jeonghan’s behaviour during the shoot. Being the amazing girlfriend you are, you allow Joshua to take some of his anger out on you, and there are some big consequences for Jeonghan. 

cw/tw.  dom/angry Joshua, bdsm themes, mentions of roleplay and shibari, polyamory, throuple, some knife play, blow jobs, face riding, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, vibrator, choking, fingering, spanking, squirting, some overstim, handcuffs, switch Jeonghan, finger licking, etc... I petnames. (hers) princess, perfect little doll, baby.

🌵 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 5.5k

✘ masterlist

[belovedrat]

(I forgot to post this,this happened on Aug 3..🤫)

I WINNNN AHHHHHHHH HUGE BLUE SQUID MY BELOVED 🦑 💙

I’ve finally escaped my cave and seen the WORLD

I WENT TO GREAT AMERICA (an amusement park) AND WON THIS SILLY GOOBER

ALSO THEY HAD A SNOOPY LAND

@atomic-rattz AHHHHHHHHHH

@lotus-sunn HEHHEHE LOOKY

AND THEY HAD A COOL LOOKING RESTAURANT TYPE THING (me and my nephew shared some nacho fries :3)

ANDD here are a few pics of a few rides I went to (I wanted to film me on most of the rides but I would’ve lost my phone into oblivion TvT)

Little facts about the Drop Tower : it’s 224 feet (68m) next info taken from the website ! :

Your Drop Tower experience begins by strapping into an open car, feet dangling, and spending the next 35 tension-filled seconds ascending 224 feet into thin air to the peak. That brief peace is soon lost as the countdown of 4, 3, 2, 1 begins and the entire vehicle plummets down—sending riders screaming -you drop - you plunge - you are completely emptied into a free fall of 20 stories in 3.5 seconds, reaching frenetic speeds of up to 60 miles per hour before the brakes kick in and – did that really happen? – you're at the bottom and back to normal.

End of info :3

It seems super dramatic and while it is , I loved the ride and was only mildly panicking, but I would do it again 10 times more, that shit was fun asf, I had to take my glasses off as I was worried about them flying off, but next time they’re staying on, as the view (from what little I could see if you ignore how blurry my vision is) was beautiful and it’s way more beautiful at night, is when I rode this ride, def recommend if you ever go to amusement parks, to ride the rides at night as the lights are beautiful >w<

[eskawrites]

chapter thirty of our hearts know deeper seasons than our memories is up! feat. sword fights, kisses, and I love yous

They film Nancy stepping into the old throne room set. She feels a little awkward at first, not really sure what kind of reaction they want from her, but then she steps into the room, and the cameras fall away from her mind completely. She thinks it should feel smaller, but it doesn’t. Somehow, it’s just as grand as she remembers. Maybe it’s the emptiness. Instead of dozens of actors and extras filling the hall there is nothing but the regal pillars, the towering banners, the lonely throne at the end of the room. Nancy closes her eyes, and suddenly she’s eighteen again, her dress flowing around her, crown heavy on her head. The room is full of all the thrill and hope and promise of a kingdom starting over again, but her heart beats only for the girl who is keeping her distance at the edge of the room, watching Nancy wrap this chapter of their lives with a tearful smile and such aching love in her eyes. She opens her eyes, and it’s an empty room again. But it’s so much more than that. She remembers the cameras following her, waiting for some kind of reaction, but she doesn’t know what to say. For all her charm, all the effort she’s put into staying cool and in control in interviews, she can’t find the words to even begin describing what this room feels like. What this world means to her.

[midseo]

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[late-to-the-party-81]

Loyalty, honour and a willing heart

AN: Welcome to fluffs-ville, population us. This is a tower fic, so everyone lived and nobody died. There. They all lived happily ever after.

Unbeta’d

Likes are loved, reblogs are golden

Dividers by @firefly-graphics and moodboard by me

Bingo fills: @buckybarnesbingo  Y4 - Movie Night

@stuckybingo O1 - Shuri

@steverogersbingo B2 - Avengers Movie Night

Join my tag list here

Master list | BBB Master list | Stucky Bingo Master List | SRB Master list

Relationships: Steve x Bucky, Bucky & Shuri friendship, Avengers as family

Word Count: 1.2k

CW: Fluff, Found Family, slightly insecure Bucky, Everett Ross looks like Bilbo Baggins

Steve stood, leaning against the wall of the common room, with a soft smile on his face as he watched Bucky flitting back and forth like a busy bee. His brunette boyfriend was plumping cushions, and reangling the sofa by minute increments, in between running to the little kitchenette and checking the cookies he was baking.

Steve had tried to get Bucky to relax a bit, but it had gotten to the point where the easiest thing was just to stay out of his way. Bucky would no doubt chill out when his guest arrived. Speaking of which…

There was a rumble from above them - the sound of a jet landing atop the roof of the tower - and Bucky turned to Steve, panic plastered across his face. Steve pushed off the wall, walked over to Bucky and placed his hands on Bucky’s upper arms, rubbing them soothingly.

“Do you think she’ll like it, Stevie?” Bucky was cute when he was flustered and Steve had to resist the urge to drop a kiss to the end of his nose.

“She’s gonna love it, Buck. I know you two haven’t seen each other in a while and she’s gonna be impressed with the effort you’ve put in.”

There was a commotion out in the corridor and then there she was, coming into the common room, definitely not looking like she’d been on a long international flight. Her braids were tight to the crown of her head and cascaded down her back and she wore a brilliant white tracksuit and matching sneakers.

“James!” Shuri squealed and ran towards Bucky, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle and almost knocking him over. Steve stepped back and smiled at the sweet reunion. “How is my favourite white boy?” 

Bucky blushed and rubbed at the back of his head, as Shuri took a seat on one of the stools at the side of the kitchenette.

“I’m good,” he replied. “I miss Wakanda. I miss you. But it’s good to be home and be with this idiot.” He jerked his thumb in Steve’s direction and Shuri giggled.  

“Hey,” cried Steve but he was still smiling. He moved forward again and threw his arm around Bucky’s shoulders, pulling him close. “Less of the ‘idiot’, please.”

Bucky turned to look at him, a perfectly kissable pout on his lips. “But you’re my idiot.”

“Gak! You two are positively nauseating. Save it for later.” Shuri hopped down from the stool and playfully shouldered Steve out of the way, linking her arm through Bucky’s and steering him over to one of the sofas where she pulled him down to continue their conversation in Xhosa. Steve shook his head and chuckled to himself before heading to the oven to check on Bucky’s cookies. They were a rich golden brown colour, so he pulled out the pan and left it on the side for the contents to cool.

Bucky had been excited from the moment Shuri had contacted them to say she was coming for a visit. After his time in Wakanda, and with all of the help that Shuri had given him, Bucky thought of her like a sister and was determined that she was going to have the best time. It was Friday today, so what better way to start than inviting her to attend the regular movie night at the Tower?

Steve had been glad when the others had recognised what a big deal this was for Bucky, and all agreed that he could pick the film and organise the snacks, even though it wasn’t his turn. Even Tony had been gracious, which Steve was grateful for. It was nice to see the two of them starting to get on, because they had a lot of interests in common, although Steve wasn’t quite sure if he was ready for them to become as thick as thieves - it wouldn’t bode well for his sanity.

As the clock turned eight, the others slowly started to appear, and Bucky excused himself from Shuri to help Steve move all the snacks to the various coffee tables dotted about between the couches and beanbags. Nat and Clint had already taken up residence on one of the plush sofas’ having an animated discussion in ASL. Clint had been on a hearing break this afternoon, but had said he’d turn his aids back on when the movie started. Steve tried to keep up with what they were saying, but when they were signing that fast, and the ASL was sprinkled with the pair’s own unique slang, it was hard to follow. Something about a bet and apparently Clint had lost. 

Sam jogged in then, raising a hand in greeting to Steve and then throwing himself down next to Nat and wrapping his arms around her waist, earning him a glare for disrupting her conversation.

Bruce and Peter appeared after that, the former with his head still in a sheaf of papers that Nat would probably have to pry from his hands as the intro credits started, and the latter full of his usual boundless energy, practically vibrating his way over to the Princess of Wakanda. If anyone was a match for Bucky on the excitement level for this visit, it was Peter. He’d already pestered Bucky about getting some of his own time with Shuri on the schedule, eager to get her input on some of his personal projects down in Tony’s lab. Tony had been full of mock outrage at that announcement, but had confided later in Steve that he thought it was good for the young man to ‘nerd out’ with someone of his own age.

Speaking of Tony, as usual he was the last to appear, looking slightly unkempt and, from the expressions on Pepper and Rhodey’s faces, as though he’d had to be physically dragged away from his latest hyperfixation.

Having set out all of the food, Bucky pushed his way back onto the sofa with Shuri and Peter, the three of them talking animatedly for a few minutes. Steve watched on with a smile. It was odd not to have Bucky cuddled up to him during movie night, but it was nice to observe his boyfriend and watch him be happy. He made his way through the crowd of people and managed to snag a beanbag at Bucky’s side of the couch, sitting down and leaning his head on Bucky’s thigh. 

Eventually everyone settled down and Bucky started the movie. It came as no surprise to any of the Avengers when a clarinet solo started to play as the black screen slowly revealed “The Hobbit.”

“That explains the pork pies,” Sam teased.

“And the teeny tiny pastries, thank you for not trying to poison me” said Pepper, before popping a small blackberry tart into her mouth.

Tony rolled his eyes. “That was like one time. You’re never gonna let me live that one down are you?” Pepper smirked around her mouthful and shook her head.

Shuri leaned across to Bucky. “Have you themed the food to the movie?”

Even in the dim lighting, Steve knew Bucky was blushing and gave his knee a reassuring squeeze.

“You said you’d never seen it, so wanted to give you the full experience. Hobbits love comforting food.”

“You are too sweet, James,” the princess declared and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s cheek. Steve grinned. “Now, pass me one of those cookies and let me watch your Hobbit movie.”

They were only a few minutes in when Shuri sat bolt upright in her seat. “Wait, wait. Does that man look just like…”

The others all cut her off with a loud “Yes” before bursting into laughter. Bucky looked down at Steve and tapped his finger on the back of Steve’s hand three times. Steve smiled in return, tapped back and then rested his head back on Bucky’s knee.

Bucky might be too tall to be considered a Hobbit, but he embodied all of the other main traits of the primary character from his favourite book - loyalty, honour, and a willing heart - and Steve couldn’t be prouder to call him his partner.

Tag list: @christywrites, @alexakeyloveloki, @doasyoudesireandlive, @galactusdevourerofworlds, @crayongirl-linz, @mrs-illyrian-baby, @wheezy-stucky, @km-ffluv

[127luvr]

Round & Round

Jung Sungchan x Male Reader

In which feelings you never knew you had finally bubble up to the surface on the first day of filming Nct Universe

Warnings: panic attack, angst

The set is buzzing with life. Dozens of conversations bouncing off of each other from across the room where the camera crew set up. You feel your heart race as you stand next to Sungchan—your head barely reaching his shoulder as he stands straight. With his hands behind his back as he bounces back and forth on his heels.

“How do you feel, (Y/n)? They’re finally freeing you from the basement.” The joke catches you off guard, causing an unrecognizable feeling to settle in your stomach. Your eyes widen a little as you catch the look on his face—giddy and excited as if he didn’t catch the damage his comment had made on your demeanor. “We finally get to introduce the rest of you guys to the world—no more hiding. Isn’t that exciting—” He finally looks down at you, catching how pale you’ve turned compared to this morning. “(Y/n)?”

The director claps his hands, holding a stack of papers that were stapled together under his armpit. He’s quite short, eyes covered with brown strands of hair as he introduces his crew to you. It’s mostly out of courtesy, making the rookies feel more comfortable as it was one of their first times filming something like this. It’s still a little unsettling for you. How comfortable Sungchan and Shotaro feel in front of the camera compared to how you feel. Alienated. Washed out against the fluorescent lights that filled the ceiling and the lighting the filming crew brought with them.

“Okay guys just as we practiced. As soon as you hear Sungchan’s line—start walking. The order will be Shohei, Seunghan, Eunseok and lastly, (Y/n). After that you won’t need our guidance, I want it as authentic as possible.” With a bow you’re all behind the door, your hand gripping onto the end of Eunseok’s shirt in a fit of anxiety.

Shohei walks into the room, unafraid and confident. He is the first to announce himself to Sungchan and Shotaro—who look like pros next to each other. His introduction is followed by Seunghan’s—who keeps his face covered for half of the time as a nervous habit. You state your name and age, digging your nails into the palm of your hand—away from the camera.

“Next is a self introductory quiz!”

Without warning, you feel your legs walk out of the room, overwhelmed by all of the cameras that were faced towards the six of you all every moment. You don’t stop walking until you get to the nearest practice room, sinking to the floor as soon as you manage to get the heavy door shut. You try to calm your nerves, teeth chattering as you hug yourself to calm down. You feel disoriented as you lick your dry lips in an attempt to cure your dry mouth. No amount of counting to five could calm you down now.

“(Y/n)?” There’s a shy knock on the door that startles you, Sungchan’s small voice barely carrying itself through the metal door. Your arm feels like dead weight when you try and unravel itself from your shape. It’s useless as you rock and forth, choking up when you try and call out to him. “Hey, I’m going to come in, okay? I need to make sure you’re okay.”

When Sungchan comes in he is immediately next to you, large hands sprawled out on the cold floor as he balances himself on his knees. He is quick to replace your arms with his own, whispering into your ear—his cool breath grounding you to reality.

“It’s okay, (Y/n). I’m here. You’re here.” You push him off of you, feeling stuffy as you breathed his cologne in. In a moment’s notice you’re standing—towering over Sungchan for once as he is trying to figure what changed so suddenly.

“You left me Sungchan.” He finally stands, dusting his hands off on his dress pants. “You debuted in Nct knowing we were supposed to be all together. You and Shotaro abandoned me for three years. It’s not the same anymore—you don’t even try to see me anymore. You don’t have back to back schedules, Sungchan. You’re not as busy as some of the members are. Mark is in every damn group under the sun and he makes time for Haechan—he makes time for things he loves. You don’t even even have a set unit and you leave me with single word messages for weeks. No updates on how you’re doing—what you’re doing—what you’re practicing. I don’t get it.”

Sungchan swallows dryly, frowning deeply as he paces around.

“(Y/n), you don’t know how hard it’s been without you. Especially in the beginning when they didn’t let us reach out to anyone. We weren’t allowed to do anything—god I spent so many nights not being able to sleep. Wanting to go back to you even if it meant delaying my debut even more.” He stops pacing, turning his head towards you in panic. “Would you have wanted that? I’ve spent so long wondering what you would’ve wanted me to do, (Y/n). But you know we have no say in this, it’s so useless—fighting back.” You clench your jaw tight, still shivering as you keep your arms wrapped tightly around yourself.

There are no words exchanged between the two of you for a few minutes. It takes a while for the hostile air in the practice room to dissipate, left with only the sound of the AC coursing through the vents above.

“I’m sorry that I lashed out at you. I shouldn’t have said some of those things, it was uncalled for. You didn’t know I was feeling like that—how would you? That’s not another shot at you by the way—” You let out an embarrassed groan, covering your flushed face with your long sleeves. “I’m really happy that you got to have your debut and all your schedules… I just miss you.”

Sungchan quietly anticipates for the other shoe to drop, light on his feet when he realizes that there was no but to the rest of your apology. He lets out a shaky breath, one he doesn’t know he’s been holding.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you more. I know you, (Y/n), I know that even a text saying I’m busy would’ve gone a long way. Honestly, that’s all on me.” You punch his shoulder playfully, tired of hearing him blame himself. “I missed you too, by the way.”

[docilepillow]

MARCH 2024 MEDIA DIARY 2

I ran out of embed space on the first post i had slotted in for this!!! So i'm making two posts!!!!!!! They belong together!!!! Okay!!!!!!! PIZZA TOWER < this game is soggy goop >

Even though I cleared a good portion of this game nigh a year ago now, i still feel compelled to put it on my media diary now, as i've only just got around to finishing the game properly! I believe the point i dropped off the game before was at Pig City, which, i think , is kinda understandable given how big that level is, but, was probably a real bummer for the whole of my friend group who were super into the game when it was new and i probably missed out on talking about it alot with them... POOP!!!! just because this game is popular enough to actually warrant talking about it with my friends later, instead of saying stuff like how i enjoyed the silly cartoony art stlye and the games general charm, im just going to post a level tier list i made the second i beat the game at like near midnight kinda hazy-minded without thinking on it too hard without thinking too deeply in a way thatll be completely inflamitory bc im mostly satisfied with the experience i had and dont really feel the urge to P rank anything --

The stats are saying my total hours round up to 6 hours 50 and pepinno is pointing at me Aughh

My , , Errr, " CRITISISM " of this game is that the funny pizza man is a little, erm, STICKY? Kinda gross. a little weird. Partially my fault. I'm sowwy. I'm not very good at this game but i absolutely respect everyone's opinion on it . Go watch my friend @shoppncart's speedrun, by the way, it's cool :

Speedy! THE MARIO MOVIE < the bario boooby geheheheheheheh >

this is probably a tired opinion but since i was subjected to this movie for the fifth time in a voice call my take is thaat this is probably more enjoyablel then the safeass illumination film. like. yea. that films probably objectively better but. id rather watch something thats an actual adaptation. like this movie. where basically nothing mario happens outside names . Aw. i honestly think this movie has intrigue to it genuinely maybe im saying this bc its one of the movies ive actually watched repeatedly before, like roger rabbit, but i think the history behind this movie and the old anamocity turned-endearment are what make it worth watching. that and its a little goopy You Guys Wanna See Some MM2 Proggys? not a new piece of media technically but ive been playing a fuckton of MM2 recently still as of the end of the month and its absolutely dominating my time as of late, and i kinda wanna show off a small amount of the progress ive made on it, as much as the world map, at least --

It's a media diary. it exists to document MY gaming life. Deal. anyway in regards to it i'm almost finished with the world 4 castle, which is crazy, because before i hadn't even finished world 2, but now i got all of this creative energy in me... If i finish this soon enough, i'd be able to upload it on NSO, so keep your tumpler eyes peeled, mutrals :J I personally like it because theres a theme of aescending on the world map. The space theme in this looks the best, i think.. THE ALCHEMY OF US - HOW HUMANS AND MATTER TRANSFORMED ONE ANOTHER < what the fuck ????? a book ??????? >

yea thats right im reading books this ones actually pretty good apparently a 2020 bestseller though im not in the habit of reading those often so i'll just have to take their word for it on that aspect. i think lifes all about trying new things so around halfway through the month i picked up this cool book i found at my library and got a library card. After reading through it all, i think anecdotally that this book is a very neat read. theres a few sentences that're a little offputting to my young mind but overall the book is filled with alot of cool insight i reccomend checking out if youre the boooky type of person! i think its very good and im glad i picked it out :) i donnu how many of these will be going onto my media diary in the future or anything , but maybe i will if i end up reading more! I'll have to make it up to a friendd for waiting till now to put up something i read here first before that thing she likes. oops.

Volp. OUTSIDE of the traditional media format again, also, are things i largely started on this month but don't think i'll be making all too much more progress in, or if i'm unsure i'll finish what i was doing all in one month- CASTLEVANIA THE ADVENTURE- REBIRTH

POINT OF DROP OFF - STAGE 4 END BOSS REASON BEING - UMMM SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED AND DIED TOO MUCH

castlevania rebirth is a really really cool game. its really cool and im not typing this as fresh as everything else because it was something i picked up for one big sitting earlier in the month. i probably couldve finished it at any point during the week, but simply was too distracted and wanted to do other stuff. It's very cool though, i love the vector sprite art, and there ARE silly stock sound effects everywhere, which is always a big positive for me . I mostly just like how snug the wii classic controller is , and this is a cool game to play it with considering its one of the only non virtual console or old game collection style games available for wii in this exact style ( Not counting the good handful of games that choose to use the wiimote on its side instead. )

over all ill probably sit down and finish this someday soon i just gotta like find time for it whenever next my wii u is plugged in ( it fights for an hdmi slot with my switch and ps4 all the time...! ), and ill probably end up trying to play punch out wii at the same time, given one doesnt dominate my attention over the other. From my understanding they're both short, though, so it shouldnt be too big a deal or obstacle no matter how long i put this off. RANDOM TERRARIA PLAYTHROUGH terraria playthru 1million

ii just really want to see the new terraria update Waaaah... i stopped having fun because i self imposed myself to not use setbonus armor sets at the part of the game where that stops being acceptable anymore so im stopping i think i did get to make another terraria pet though that makes me happy POINT OF DROP OFF - the mechanical bosses

also the most recent thing is

i got too tense and needed to excuse myself after like an hour 30 i cant take too much tension in movies i was really uncomfortable and had to leave to take a breather bc the main character gets put in a really really shitty situation and it was getting hard to watch for my autistic ass

thats enough i think thanks for coming see you next month lol

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

Come. Gather round and listen to the legend of the Funny Vampire Director, AKA the Funny Nazi Director, AKA Taika Waititi.

Raised in the way of the director, Waititi was taught to make good movies, delivering the sort of funny and heartfelt films most can only dream of making. He directed, and he wrote, and he acted. He was sensitive, like a smile. And his love of filmmaking did not discriminate in what he could make. He once made a hilarious vampire mockumenatry that got a spin-off TV series. Another time, he proved that you could make Blazing Saddles in the modern day, except with Nazis!

But Waititi's greatest achievement was cameoing in The Suicide Sqaud. Oh, wait. No. It was making a good Thor movie, of all things. But sadly, in making a good Thor movie, he set himself up for failure with the sequel. In fact, he set himself up for spectacular failure. Mediocre reviews. Audience backlash. Criticism from the actors and directors. And bad reviews from all sorts of internet guys, again and again and again. And again.

Poor Waititi had to watch the internet’s respect for him explode. And then he said, 'What have I done?' It seemed that everything he’d worked for with Thor, he lost. And so he maybe got fired by Marvel and went back to making real movies for a change. But just because he was done with Marvel, didn't mean he was done with superheroes. He teamed up with James Gunn and set off to deliver the most powerful and thematic line in The Suicide Squad. He got in shape, putting in the hard yards to become a respected filmmaker again. Taking pains into gains and never skipping the chance to direct a movie based on Tower of Terror. He put in the work to go from the butt of jokes to a guy who would hopefully deserve an Oscar win.

But with all that being said, there was still a confused reviewer just trying to figure out if maybe the backlash to Thor: Love and Thunder was a bit overblown. Because really, this movie couldn’t possibly be as shitty as The Dark World, which committed the sin of wasting Christopher Eccleston. So he sat down and gave the movie a rewatch, accepting he was only good for one thing... Determining that age old question, 'Is Thor: Love and Thunder really that bad?'

THE GOOD

So maybe this is a hot take, but I really did enjoy Jane’s return and her romance with Thor and find it to be one of the film’s best aspects.

Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of the writing here is clunky and poor Natalie Portman is saddled with a lot of really stupid dialogue now that she’s the Mighty Thor. But seeing her and Chris Hemsworth act off each other again in a less dull and restrictive fashion is so nice, and seeing Portman kick ass is a lot of fun too. She even wields Mjolnir in some pretty creative ways here! And her death is actually a genuinely powerful and touching scene that they don’t immediately fuck up with a lame joke.

The soundtrack, while not even close to touching the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtracks, is filled with Guns N’ Roses banger after banger. I grew up listening to these guys, so honestly I’m predisposed to like any scene where they play one of my favorite tracks by them.”Sweet Child O’ Mine,” “November Rain,” “Paradise City,” and “Welcome to the Jungle” are all whipped out at just the right time to keep my attention from flagging completely, so I’ll give them props for that. They aren’t the most inspired choices, but I’m a sucker for classic Axl.

The Axl above? Decidedly less so. Still, despite this film’s reputation for really bad effects and really bad costumes and just in general looking embarrassingly cheap because Disney abuses the animators, there are some extremely cool visuals here and there. The shot of Falligar the Behemoth in particular is so good they slapped it into every trailer, and a climactic battle on a monochrome planet looks way too good to be in this movie. But by far the most fantastic thing is the comic-accurate depiction of Eternity.

And of course, I would be remiss to not praise Christian Bale’s performance as Gorr the God Butcher. The man immediately has you hooked with the opening scene, which details his backstory and shows how he began his vendetta against all the deities of the Marvel universe. Then we have his fantastic climactic confrontation with Thor on the black-and-white planet, and then there is his final scene before Eternity. Each and every time he shows up, it’s completely clear that Bale is giving it his all and acting his pussy off, giving a performance that is honestly kind of astounding considering what’s going on around him.

THE BAD

Unfortunately, while Gorr is a fantastic performance, he suffers from the fact his character has absolutely no cohesion and is barely in the film. He shows up for maybe one big fight in the first hour, then completely disappears from the film until the third act, during which time he just sits around with a bunch of children and terrifies them. And despite being “The God Butcher,” we see him butcher precisely one single god in the whole film, and that’s in the film’s opening. Groot has as many onscreen god kills as Gorr. That’s fucking pathetic. Bale’s magnificent performance is strong when it counts, but so much of the dramatic moments feel unearned because he hardly does anything outside those moments. The fact they cut out so much material including him meeting with Peter Dinklage’s King Eitri and Jeff Goldblum’s Grandmaster, really stings. Would it have been a crime to cut out those annoying fucking goats and instead give Gorr more to do like, oh, butchering gods?

It doesn’t help that the story never actually refutes any of Gorr’s points. Every other god we see in the film is egotistical, hedonistic, a coward, or all three at once, with even Thor reverting into a corny blowhard for much of the movie. Zeus is pretty much emblematic of this problem; while I actually did enjoy Russell Crowe’s performance (even if it is, ultimately, a half-baked attempt at recapturing the magic of Grandmaster from Ragnarok), the fact that Zeus is nothing more than a blowhard more concerned with orgies and showing off to all the other gathered deities just kind of proves Gorr right. The gods don’t care, they are refusing to help their followers, and frankly the universe would probably be a lot better if it was littered with Knowheres instead of having these horny clowns prancing about.

Then we have the Guardians. The glorified cameo from the Guardians of the Galaxy that was hyped up in all the marketing. Despite being in the movie for maybe ten minutes and despite Star-Lord having 95% of all the lines between them, nearly every single one of them feels completely out of character. Star-Lord, on the other hand, actually feels like he was rerailed in time for Gunn to take the reigns back, but it doesn’t make up for how awkward and pointless it all feels. Although it is incredibly hilarious that after all of them spent Infinity War fawning over him they all now seem to barely tolerate him, with it being confirmed none of them kept in contact with him after the events of this film. I honestly don’t blame them.

A lot of returning characters really suffer. King Valkyrie gets it pretty bad since her subplot where she searches for love was dropped, leading to her feeling really superfluous in the plot. Lady Sif gets it even worse, with her barely even being in this movie; one has to wonder why they even bothered keeping her alive. Thor gets hit especially bad here, because he seems to have reverted from his post-Ragnarok characterization all the way to pre-Thor characterization, with all his hedonism, goofing, gallavanting, insecurity, and egotistical traits ramped up to maximum levels.

But the most divisive returning character of all is Korg. Korg became a fan-favorite due to his appearances in Ragnarok and Endgame, where he was genuinely a funny comic relief character who juxtaposed his intimidating rock golem design with a friendly demeanor and the chipper voice of director Taika Waititi. The thing is, both of those films used him sparingly, so that when he got a lame joke it wasn’t so bad because it’s one up against dozens of good ones. Here though he gets to be a main character and even the narrator, and boy does he get old pretty quickly. The thing is, though, that even if he’s not particularly funny here… I still like Korg. He’s just too damn charming, As lame as his jokes are, as lame as his fake out death is, as pointless as he ends up feeling to the plot, I just can’t hate the guy. I guess it helps that he gets to be Disney’s 52nd First Gay Character, but actually for real this time because in the end he gets to make a baby with a rock guy named Dwayne. I also really like the theory that the reason the whole film is corny is because Korg is narrating it, and he’s an unreliable narrator peppering the story with lame jokes and underplaying elements that should matter. Does it save the whole movie? No. Does it make Korg any funnier? Also no. Does it add an interesting layer that at least keeps me from wanting Korg dead? Yes, yes it does.

And really, every single problem here is something that was there in Thor: Ragnarok. Zany comedy? A terrifying, threatening villain with a murderous vendetta who gets weirdly underplayed and barely interacts with the heroes? A villainous character played entirely for jokes? Jokes that completely and utterly destroy the tension of any given scene? The big difference is that in Ragnarok, at least some of the jokes were funny, and Thor had more interesting characters to bounce off of. And maybe most importantly, that film knew when to dial back the comedy to let cool or emotional moments breathe. And maybe even more importantly than that, it knew to keep Korg to a minimum. This film doesn’t do that at all, with nonstop gags undercutting nearly every dramatic moment. It’s ultimately hard to give a shit about anything going on when the characters give so little of a shit about it that they’re cracking jokes.

And let me tell you, if you couldn’t already tell, the jokes are fucking bad. This is basically what would happen if you asked Seltzer & Friedberg to make Marvel Movie. This is the epitome of all those jokes about Marvel dialogue having the characters go “Well that just happened!” to the point where I’m shocked it’s not actual dialogue. The horrendously unfunny screaming goat meme is a pivotal plot point in this movie; that’s the quality of jokes we’re dealing with here. And while there are a few decent jokes here and there, there’s just too many fucking jokes to pay them any mind.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Somehow this is one of the most overhated and yet rightfully disliked films ever made.

Like, Schafrillas was right to call this the Shrek the Third of Thor films. It’s not funny, it derails beloved characters, it’s incredibly annoying, it wastes a good villain, and the writing is just so hackneyed and ridiculous. This is absolutely not a good film at all. But the way you hear some people talk about it you’d think this film killed their grandma.

Like I know bad comedies are some of the worst kinds of films out there, and this film is definitely horrendously unfunny at every opportunity, but it has just enough good ideas and just enough strategic deployment of Guns N’ Roses songs that it just barely manages to be passable in my eyes. I definitely think this is a mediocre movie, and it is emblematic of everything a bad Marvel movie can be. But at the same time, it manages to be unfunny in ways I didn’t think were possible from a director and cast this talented. I’ll be honest, on my second watch through of the movie I was more bored than infuriated with this film. It has its moments, but it’s absolutely one of the weakest efforts Marvel has ever put out.

This film is pretty much what critics once accused Batman & Robin of being: An overindulgent, campy, unfunny smear on a cool hero. As you well know by now, I don’t agree with them on that, but it’s a somewhat fitting descriptor for Love & Thunder. I don’t think it’s a smear on Thor, who has been way too inconsistent for me to get mad about him being taken in some wild direction, but overindulgent, campy, and unfunny are pretty apt. Still, I don’t think this is nearly as bad as a lot of people say. It’s not bad in a “crime against humanity” way, at worst it’s bad in a “I know the people making this are capable of better and I kinda feel like this is the fault of studio executives at Disney” kind of way. If you like it, sure, that’s valid! I don’t think there is no value in this film at all, especially compared to some stuff I’ve reviewed for Is It Really That Bad. But if I never have to see this movie again, I won’t exactly lose sleep over it, and I’m sure many people feel the same.

Still, I’d have to have a heart of stone to not find the ending, which features Thor and his adopted daughter (played by Hemsworth’s own daughter) becoming a cute little superhero team and getting a corny title drop right before the credits, really sweet. Yeah, it’s not a good movie, but at least it’s better than the first two Thor movies or the unseasoned oatmeal that is Eternals.

[azvolrien]

Ireland - Day 4

Today took me out of the city for the first time, as I’d booked a coach trip, so I got up a little earlier to give me plenty of time to reach the pickup point. The day dawned cloudy and cool again, and unlike yesterday it generally stayed that way.

I met up with the rest of the tour group outside the euphemistically-named Ned Kelly Sports Club (actually a casino, as far as I could tell) to wait for the coach, which arrived to pick us up right on time. On board we were greeted by the tour guide, who clearly runs her tour business herself rather than via an agent as she was who I booked with directly over email. She is, usefully for a tour guide, significantly better at talking than she is at typing, as she spent the entire drive from central Dublin to the Hill of Tara filling us in on all the relevant background of Irish history and prehistory, from the very first Stone Age settlers all the way forwards through the Bronze and Iron Age Celts, the golden age of monastic settlement after the fall of Rome, the arrival and settlement of the Vikings, the Anglo-Norman invasion, the Great Famine and the mass emigration that followed, the struggle for independence and the economic boom of more recent decades, and all the stuff in between. Most of this probably wasn’t strictly necessary for understanding the context of the day’s largely Neolithic sites, but it was still interesting. The Battle of the Boyne also came up in passing – as our guide put it, ‘a Scot and a Dutchman fighting in Ireland over the throne of England’ – but mainly because the drive took us past the battlefield site.

As mentioned, the first stop on the tour was the Hill of Tara, capital of the ancient kings of Ireland. The site covers a pretty huge area and we only had about an hour there so I didn’t have time to explore it in detail, but I was still able to look around the old burial cairn called the Mound of the Hostages and see the ancient henge-like earthworks around the Lia Fáil, the Stone of Destiny (not our one, a different one) at the highest point of the site. It was a breezy day and I almost lost my hat before I tightened the chin-strap, but I got a great view out over the surrounding countryside including an old tower on a distant hilltop that our guide said was the remnant of St Columba’s pre-Iona monastery.

We got back in the coach and drove a little further to the Brú na Bóinne (‘Palace of the Boyne’) visitor centre, the access point for the famous passage graves of the area. The visitor centre houses a good exhibition about the Neolithic history of the sites as well as the later excavations, and also has a gift shop and cafe where we stopped for lunch before walking over the bridge across the Boyne and boarding the little shuttle bus to Knowth. This site isn’t quite as famous as Newgrange, but I thought it was even more impressive. It consists of one huge central burial mound, completely surrounded by richly-carved boulders and with two passages in from opposite sides of the hill, both ending in burial chambers without actually meeting in the middle. The Great Mound only makes up part of what must have been a high-status cemetery, as it sits among many similar but smaller burial mounds, some complete and others with their burial chambers open to the sky. The site reminded me a lot of Maeshowe and the other Neolithic cairns of Orkney, and when I brought this up to the guide (a different guide to the tour operator, in the employ of the visitor centre) she agreed that it was probably much the same culture, with a lot of similarities both in the structure of the cairns and the abstract, geometric style of the carvings.

We also got caught in a brief but heavy and almost horizontal shower of rain, but were able to dry off a little watching a short film about the excavations at Knowth before we moved on to Newgrange.

Unlike Knowth, the mound at Newgrange stands alone, surrounded by similar but mostly uncarved kerbstones and, a little further out, a ring of standing stones. Also unlike Knowth, which was reused as the base of a hillfort in the mediaeval period, Newgrange survived largely intact since the Stone Age, possibly due to its local rep as a fairy mound scaring people away from raiding it for building materials. The Fair Folk did not, however, scare off the archaeologists, and later excavations uncovered the entrance stone – a huge boulder carved as elaborately as any at Knowth with its famous triskele designs – and the entrance itself. The white stones that face the tomb today are a modern reconstruction – the stones were found at the site, but whether they made up a facade back in the Neolithic is anyone’s guess – but the long, low and narrow passage and the cruciform chamber at the heart of the mound are almost untouched from their original status, and that ‘almost’ is only there to cover a few extra braces and the addition of electric lights.

The ancient burial chamber is tall enough to stand up in, but pretty cramped area-wise, so we split into two smaller groups to file down the entrance passage. I know people were a bit shorter back in the Neolithic, but I think even they would have found it a tight squeeze; there were a couple of points where I had to stoop and twist sideways to get through before reaching the chamber. Once inside, three alcoves opposite the entrance and to either side hold more carvings and basin-line stones whose purpose we can only guess at. The chamber is cool, utterly silent save for the visitors’ breathing, and pitch-dark with the lights off except for once a year at sunrise on the winter solstice, when the passage admits one narrow shaft of light to illuminate the chamber floor. The actual solar alignment is only accessible via an annual lottery, but a lamp in the passage provides a reasonable simulation.

I’m not one to believe in the Otherworld, but after the chamber at Newgrange, I can see how people could feel close to the gods down there.

We headed back to the visitor centre, where I bought some postcards and my usual pin badge, t-shirt and fridge magnet in the gift shop (the dark powers of the Sidhe are no match for the lure of the gift shop) and got back on the coach to Dublin. I bought some stamps in the General Post Office on O’Connell Street – I actually hadn’t realised it was still a working post office, having assumed it had been converted into a museum to the Easter Rising – and returned to the hotel to write up my postcards before venturing back out for something to eat. Tonight’s choice was a little pizzeria I’d spotted called Wallace’s Taverna, which served a good margherita a lot like the recipe they use at Matto in Edinburgh with a hazelnut mousse in a crisp chocolate shell for afterwards.

[charmsandtealeaves]

@jilytoberfest | 31 prompts | Prompt 28

Prompt: “tell me a story”

Dragon pox was rife around that castle, affecting both staff and students alike. The hospital wing had long since been filled and dormitories were now being treated like quarantine wings. Those who could safely be sent home to their parents were. The not sick were getting fewer and further between. For whatever reason most of the immune seemed to be muggleborns, which had them acting as Madam Pomfrey’s handmaidens. Between the two of them Mary MacDonald and Lily Evans were catering to the needs of the sick in the Gryffindor tower.

The most worrisome of their patients was James. Who had held a high fever for many days running, despite the various potions Madam Promfrey herself had poured down his gullet. if he didn’t start showing signs of improvement soon he’d be shipped off to St Mungo’s. As such, Lily and Mary had started taking shifts monitoring him around the clock. Feeding him ice chips and pressing cooling compresses to his sweaty forehead.

Even though his illness James tried to remain in high spirits. He cough-shouted jokes to his companions and still found the energy to jinx Peters bedhangings to change colour or fire gross Bertie bots jelly beans around with a slingshot. So it became extremely concerning when he stopped all his childish antics and lay very still in his bed. Lily had half a mind to owl St Mungo’s herself at this point. She continued to dab at the beads of sweat that rolled down his neck.

“Tell me a story” he rasped, throat dry.

Lily held out a cup of water with a straw for him to sip from. “Like what?”

“Tell me a muggle story. Anything. My mind feels like jelly I need a little stimulation.” his voice still sounded like it was coming through sandpaper.

“Do you want an original or a Disneyfied version?” she asked.

“What’s Disneyfied?” James choked.

“Basically just means a sanitised version of the story. More appropriate for children.” Lily explained, she didn’t think he could take the long winded spiel about Walt Disney and his businesses.

“Sure,” he muttered sleepily.

Lily wracked her brain for a story she thought would entertain him. She landed on Bedknobs and Broomsticks as it contained magic she thought he’d like. So she retold the plot of the movie about Charlie, Carrie, Paul and the apprentice witch Mrs Price. By the time she reached the part about enchanting the suits of armour to fight he was barely keeping his eyes open.

“Sleep James.” She ordered.

“But I want to know how it ends” he replied, eyes still closed.

“If you go to sleep maybe I’ll let you come to mine over the summer. I’ve got the whole film on video cassette.” Lily bargained.

“Come to your house? And watch it on the telly? Okay.” He agreed as he slipped off to the land of dreamless sleep.

Lily pressed the back of her hand to his head. It didn’t feel as hot as it had been, he was finally cooling down. He would be alright. She signed with relief and leaned back in her nurses chair deciding she’d watch over him for just that little while longer.